#How to Get a Job at Walmart
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walmart interview questions and answers
Ace Your Walmart Interview with This Comprehensive Q&A Guide! WALMART THUMBNAIL, WALMART INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS, WALMART SOFTWARE INTERVIEW QUESTIONS Are you dreaming of landing a job at Walmart? Do you want to confidently walk into your interview and secure your spot at one of the world’s largest companies? If so, you’re in the right place! Our Walmart Interview Questions and Answers…

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#ben talks talent Walmart#Data Analyst Interview#Data Scientist Interview#engineer#How to Get a Job at Walmart#how to get hired at Walmart#or SDE2 Interview#Senior Software Engineers#Software Developer Interview#Software Engineer III Interview#Software Engineer Interview#Walmart Behavioral Interview Questions and Answers#walmart interview process#walmart interview questions#walmart interview questions 2024#Walmart interview questions and answer examples#WALMART INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS#walmart interview questions dsa#walmart interview questions for data engineer#walmart interview questions for java developer#walmart interview questions for sde 3#walmart interview questions for senior software#walmart interview questions for software engineer#walmart interview questions leetcode#walmart interview tips#what questions do they ask in a walmart interview
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I don't know if it's because of his golden heart, or load-bearing mental illnesses, but Henry is very lucky to still be in Shawn's life cause HOLY FUCK no one deserves that level of patience from a child they trained but didn't raise 😶
#no i'm kidding I know it's the.... not-the-stable mental state#fear of change + no other parental figure = *points*#plz shawn those aren't some schrodinger's plates in that cupboard - you gotta open it and let them break#you can get new ones at ikea or walmart - they're very cheap and still do a better job than *glares*#also maddy you're son is a lost son (G. Corneau) despite the fact *you* left home. Maddy you know how bad this is. Maddy!#psych#psych 2006#the feels have settled i love this found-family plz let's kick Henry out of it!
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I swear at this point, radblr is like, "Well, we can't have girls go to school because they'll get sexually harassed and girls can't take public transpo because they'll get sexually harassed." Some pockets of the left, though not radblr *YET,* say girls shouldn't be in the workforce because they'll be sexually harassed too. I suspect the only reason radblr has not yet made this leap is because of the overwhelming number of NEETs hanging out here.
#when you guys get ur first job at walmart tesco ashan perekrestok im sure youll join the tradwives in whining about how women should#just stay curled up under the covers at home
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Job hunting is an absolute nightmare because it's like I have a million reasons to need this job and the money from it and it's basically like telling the job that I'm pretty much their bitch because I need the money, and they'll just reject you because you didn't downright worship a company or bc you were honest on the application personality quiz
#simon says#like please I just wanna work at this subway I need to pay so many bills#'why do you want this job?' it's a fucking subway. i need the money#im not super passionate about making sandwiches in a walmart subway I just need money so so bad#like yeah my cat has asthma that I need to treat my other cat has meds that he needs I need medical care I want to get a car#i would like to go on hormones in this nightmare anti-trans state I would like to save up to move out of my parents house#i would like to be able to afford car payments for said car I would like to be able to afford insurance for my healthcare and my pets#and honestly??? i would like to make sandwiches#but ough I am not worshiping the ground subway stands on therefore I shant get the job :(#how dare I admit I need a job for money in this capitalist society
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#ooc#i ahve been job hunting since late february/early march#im on 4 different jobsites#signed up with 3 agencies#and regularly check tim hortons and starbucks and walmart and loblaw and subway and mcdonalds for potential jobs#how have i only had 1 fucking interview#and why the fuck did that position get reposted on indeed after i interviewed?!#im going to go feral#im gonna ask mil to see if theres an opening at her job or with the company she works for if i havent found anything by the end of septembe#just so i can at least support myself for a few months before i fly back to england#cause idk if ill have enough time by that point to renew my passport and sort out my visa situation
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Was gone for a week and a half.
Cats had no water
Trash not taken out
Piss on tub
Shit on toilet
Dishes in sink
CATS. HAD. NO. WATER
I can forgive everything else, it's fucking annoying, what the fuck ever....
BUT THE CATS HAD NO WATER AND I DONT KNOW HOW LONG THEY DIDN'T HAVE WATER
#fuck him#he can live in filth once I leave#i wanna take his cat tho#if you cant be bothered to make sure the cats have water (I topped everything off before I left)#then it proves just how fucking selfish and self-serving you are#you holier-than-thou ape#get me out of here#i have to meal prep for this fucker and he WASTES HALF OF IT#I CANNOT AFFORD FOOD FOR MYSELF AND HE FUCKING WASTES WHAT I BUY#and wants to make ME out to be lazy because i dont work#CANT work#WALMART STEALS HOURS TO KEEP THEIR WALLETS FULL#not really worth it to risk a lower paying job with even less hours#im exhausted
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🕯️manifesting my promotion🕯️
#ack it would just be. so incredible for my life. not only would it be a full time job I could do sustainably without being in pain#but I know I like the company and get along ok with my coworkers (and certainly am capable of playing nice when I don't)#and I make the most sense as a candidate. I really do. the only point against me is I don't have my licence yet#but my driving test is 9 days away and I'm not very worried about whether or not I'll pass it#I just. please let this happen. this would let me have an actual career and a job I could live on. I'd have financial independence#for the first time in my life#plus I'd be making more money than I ever have in my life and it would give me management experience#so if it doesn't work out for whatever reason I'd be able to get other management-level jobs#but I hope it would work out because again I really like the company and id rather stay there than work for a bigger company#like could I probably get a management job at like walmart or a fast food place? yes. but I wouldn't want to lol#but yeah I'd go from $11/hr to $17.50/hr and I'd work about 22 more hours per week#plus I'd get bonuses and paid vacation days and all of that which would be very nice#apparently there's a $4k sign on bonus for the position too (bc they've had such a hard time filling it if I had to guess)#so I'd have that to look forward to whenever it got paid out. Just generally I'd be in a much much better financial situation#and so would my whole family#right now my income makes a big difference and I'm only making like $500/month rn#so if I was making over $2000/month? my parents would be so much less stressed#idk I've just felt more fulfilled at this job than I ever have before and I feel like I belong at this company honestly#like as far as part time jobs go I got extremely lucky. it's a very lax culture where as long as your tasks get done#they don't care if you spend half your shift on your phone. there's no meaningless busy work#I'm allowed to sit when I want to and I'm very mobile otherwise and it's great for my pain#I'm in very minor pain at this job. less pain than high school caused me in terms of physical demand on my body#I can see myself being able to build an actual career at this company. and considering I spent most of last year struggling#to find employment at all? and then spent a few months in my own personal hell? the possibility that this might really happen is incredible#I've built so much confidence at this job in only 3 months and I would not have even thought myself capable of management a year ago#it's incredible what being surrounded by people who treat you like a competent adult person can do for your self-image#(you will see yourself as a competent adult person actually. crazy how that works)
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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isekai but make it reversed... yandere! villain who isekais into YOUR world and loses all of his powers so he just looks like a chuunibyou
he's fighting some hero or something in his original world and guess what happens? that's right, he gets sent here. where does he spawn? in the middle of a grocery store, of course!
specifically, your grocery store.
you're unsure of what just happened, you probably don't even care that a couple aisles just collapsed and there's people screaming at someone. you're too tired, damn!
but guess again, what do you think happens?
this stranger comes straight for you, ignoring literally the hoard of people who were waiting to chew him out.
"YOU. mortal, tell me where i am."
"uh... in a walmart...?"
you're too zonked out of your mind but this man has other plans. and he's planning on making you answer every single one of his questions. if you don't answer? well he'll just-
"what are you... doing?"
"what?! this... 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖇𝖊... my powers..."
"man, too many druggies approaching me recently..."
yeah, what's with him and his weird poses? does he think he's a villain or something? lol, let's just ignore him. look at that cosplay too, he probably thinks he's part of lord of the rings or some shit.
"no... NO... why?"
and so, he decides to do what he does best and that is to cling to the next closest thing he can. which is none other than, drumroll please!
you.
"bro, let GO."
"but but... i'm just a powerless man now... in an unknown place... you wouldn't reject helping me, would you?"
"yes i would."
so yeah, now you have this weirdo clinging to you 24/7... turns out he doesn't have a house either so what do you think he did. that's right, he's invading your apartment. he doesn't even pay rent by the way, and no, he won't leave no matter what you try to get him to do.
you've learned that he's actually a super feared villain back from where he's from (you don't believe him) and has super cool powers that he somehow doesn't have (you still think he's on drugs). but he's rather entertaining to have around, you suppose. for one, apparently he doesn't have all these... gadgets back at home. for example:
"human, what on earth is that rectangle you hold?"
"it's a phone, you can search on it, play games, and surf the internet."
"i see.... so it's sorcery..."
it's been a few weeks since he's moved in and you've finally convinced him to work at a kfc. why? because you quote and unquote told him 'working at kfc helps you conquer earth.' helps get him off your back a little and make some rent money which is good. he's a big ass leech.
but hey! he's surprisingly obedient! in fact, he's the most obedient man you've ever met.
"you know other men?"
"uh, obviously."
it's weird how he just listens to you like that, especially with how he claims he's killed countless people... but who are you to care? you quite like the fact that he just listens to you no problem. in fact, the only problem you have is that he's too obedient and looks to you for every single thing. he especially likes it when you give him validation too so like...
"good job, the toilet is clean."
"hnng...."
"???"
guess you have a villain for a housewife now!
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere villain#yandere villain x reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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Signed, Sealed, Bonded || Jade Leech
Being an Esper is hard. Finding a Guide is harder. Somehow, the only one who can handle you is Jade Leech, who is both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to you.
or: Guideverse AU!
Series Masterlist
So, picture this: You wake up, make yourself some coffee, look outside the window… and BAM—a glowing hell portal is vomiting out nightmare creatures like it’s Black Friday at the Underworld’s Walmart.
No big deal. Just another Tuesday.
This is life now. The universe is one big, unstable loot box, and sometimes, instead of daily struggles like taxes or existential dread, you get eldritch horrors trying to redecorate your city with human remains.
And that’s why Espers and Guides exist.
Espers are the special little guys (derogatory) with godlike powers and a tendency to explode if left unattended. They punch things, obliterate monsters, and generally keep civilization from crumbling like a stale cookie.
But Espers have one teeny, tiny problem. A small, insignificant, itsy-bitsy little flaw—
Espers have a fun little self-destruct feature where, if they overuse their powers and aren’t calmed down properly afterward, they go berserk and start turning cities into craters.
Whoops.
That’s where Guides come in—people with the power to keep Espers from self-destructing and turning the planet into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. They are the Espers’ emotional support humans. Their job is to keep Espers stable, sane, and not prone to going Godzilla-mode on a bad day.
Cool system, right? Makes sense? Keeps society from crumbling?
Yeah, except there’s a problem.
The problem is you.
You are the single strongest Esper on the planet. SSS-Class. Top of the charts. The kind of power that makes scientists scream and military generals start sweating through their uniforms. If Espers were trading cards, you’d be the one people would sell their kidneys for.
There’s just one little issue.
You… cannot be guided.
Like, at all.
Every time a top-ranking Guide tries to do their job, your body reacts like you just swallowed a fork.
S-Class Guide tries to guide you? You feel like you’ve swallowed a beehive.
A-Class Guide reaches out? Your skin crawls like you’re being haunted by the ghosts of bad life choices.
Government’s best, most elite SSS Guide gives it a shot? You feel like throwing up and committing a crime, but you can’t decide which one first.
Basically, your Esper powers took one look at every high-ranking Guide and said, “I’d rather die.”
The entire world is losing its shit over this.
The government is stressed. Scientists are conducting emergency research at 3 AM. High-ranking Guides are offended because how dare you reject their very expensive, very prestigious guidance?
Nobody knows why.
Is it a genetic anomaly? A cosmic joke? Are the gods simply looking down at you and laughing? Science is baffled. The government is stressed. At this point, your mere existence is a “can we patch this in the next update?” level of disaster.
You’re a walking nuclear reactor with no off-switch. And people are starting to panic.
And meanwhile, you’re just standing there, the world’s most unstable walking nuke, trying not to sneeze too hard in case you accidentally vaporize a small country.
It’s fine. It’s totally fine.
It’s absolutely not fine.
Because if they don’t find a Guide who can actually handle you soon…
You’re going to go berserk.
And when an SSS-Class Esper goes berserk? Well. You know those fantasy novels where an ancient dragon wakes up and annihilates an entire civilization in one breath? That, but worse.
You had been this close to blacking out.
It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. You were an SSS-Class Esper, for crying out loud. You could sneeze and flatten a city block. But that Gate had been a nightmare, and without proper guidance, your body was losing its mind. Your veins felt like molten lava, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and your head was pounding with the kind of stress headache that could legally qualify as an assassination attempt.
So, like any responsible, law-abiding Esper who didn’t want to be put down like an unruly dog, you dragged yourself to the Guidance Center.
The moment you stepped inside, they immediately threw their best Guide at you—a fellow SSS-Class, the crème de la crème, the poster child of the entire system.
“Let’s begin,” they said, voice dripping with confidence, as if you weren’t already suffering. They reached out, their hands warm as they pressed against your skin.
And then.
Oh, God.
It hit you like a truck full of nausea and existential horror. Your stomach flipped so violently you actually gagged. Your muscles screamed in protest, every cell in your body rejecting the touch like a bad Tinder match.
You scrambled backward so fast you almost ate floor.
The SSS-Class Guide stood there, horrifically offended.
"Are you serious?" They demanded, arms crossed like a petulant child. "Again?"
You barely heard them over the sound of your own labored breathing because Wow. That had been unpleasant.
So now you were curled up on the floor of the Guidance Center, shaking from both overexertion and the delightful aftereffects of a guide touch that had made you want to throw yourself into oncoming traffic.
The SSS-Class Guide was still watching you, arms crossed, debating whether they should be more concerned about your wellbeing or their ego.
Which is exactly when Jade Leech walked in.
There was a pause.
Then a slow, deliberate click of polished shoes as he stepped toward you, tilting his head.
“…Are they supposed to look like that?” he mused aloud.
“No,” said the SSS-Class Guide, deeply unamused.
Jade hummed thoughtfully before crouching beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder. It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t hesitant.
And for the first time since your powers awakened, you didn’t want to fling yourself off a building.
Your whole body went limp.
The shaking stopped. The nausea faded.
Your mind, which had been screaming at a constant 200% volume since you turned eighteen and acquired your powers, went quiet.
It was the most blissful thing you had ever felt in your entire life.
The SSS-Class Guide was gaping at you like you had just committed high treason.
"Are you kidding me?" they spluttered. "Him?"
And then, with a huff, they stomped away, absolutely furious that you—the greatest Esper in history, the walking apocalypse—had rejected them but accepted some random nobody.
You, meanwhile, felt clear-headed for the first time in years.
You looked at Jade—at his unreadable expression, at the sharpness of his gaze.
And then you asked, voice hoarse but steady, "What’s your name?"
His lips curled into a polite smile. "Jade Leech."
"And your grade?"
He tilted his head slightly, as if entertained by the question.
“B-Class.”
Silence.
You stared at him.
Then, before you could stop yourself, you started laughing.
Of course this was happening. Of course the universe gave you a Guide you could accidentally kill.
What an absolute joke.
And yet…
You didn’t let go.
Jade Leech was the key to your survival.
Not in the romantic, fated, "I would perish without you, my love," kind of way (you weren't that dramatic, despite what your coworkers said). No, this was purely a matter of self-preservation.
For years, you had been operating like a high-powered, government-issued, barely-functioning time bomb.
Every time you subdued a gate, your body veered dangerously close to going berserk, and the only thing keeping you from breaking reality into tiny, apocalyptic pieces was the occasional half-hearted guidance session that felt about as effective as slapping a band-aid on a leaking nuclear reactor.
It was not ideal.
But now?
Now you had Jade.
Jade, the B-Class Guide who had accidentally waltzed into your life, touched your shoulder, and immediately rewired your entire nervous system.
For the first time since awakening as an Esper, you had felt calm. Like your power wasn’t on the verge of ripping itself apart. Like your own body wasn’t actively rejecting the guidance meant to stabilize you.
And it was incredible.
So, being the responsible and absolutely not impulsive person that you were, you did the only logical thing.
You decided to bribe him with a gift and ask him to temporarily bind himself to you.
Look, it wasn’t permanent.
Permanent bonding was a whole different beast.
If you bonded with Jade permanently, that was it. Game over. No take-backs, no re-dos. No guiding anyone else for the rest of his life.
Espers could still receive guidance from others, sure. But Guides? They could never guide anyone else again.
Which—haha, wow,—that had never caused any problems, ever. Definitely not an entirely predictable storm of jealousy and possessiveness among Guides who suddenly couldn’t tolerate the idea of their Esper ever touching another person.
So, no. You were not going to ask him chain himself to you for eternity. That would be both cruel and incredibly selfish.
But a temporary bond?
A temporary bond would greatly reduce the risk of you accidentally draining him to the point of no return. It would give you the stability to actually push your limits without fear of self-destruction. And most importantly, it would allow both of you to thrive.
It was perfect.
Which was why, two days later, you found yourself standing at the entrance of the Guidance Center once again, clutching a neatly wrapped gift like it was a sacrificial offering.
You marched inside with the confidence of a person who had rehearsed this conversation in their head a thousand times.
And then promptly lost all of that confidence the second Jade turned to face you, smiling like he already knew exactly what you were about to say.
"Back so soon?" he asked, his voice perfectly polite. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
You cleared your throat and forced yourself to act like a normal human being.
“I wanted to thank you,” you said, shoving the box into his hands before you could second-guess yourself. “For the other day.”
Jade’s eyes flickered with something sharp and unreadable as he took the box, his fingers brushing lightly against yours.
Then, before your already struggling brain could catch up to the recklessness of what you were about to do, you pushed forward.
“I also had a proposal for you.”
Jade tilted his head, looking far too entertained.
“I see,” he said. “Do tell.”
You inhaled deeply.
"Would you be interested in forming a temporary bond with me?"
There. You said it.
Now, all you had to do was wait for him to either:
A) Refuse outright because it was too much effort.
B) Agree immediately because having the strongest Esper in existence on a leash would give him unfathomable influence.
What you did not expect was for him to smile.
Not a normal smile. Not a polite, professional, "oh wow, what a fascinating suggestion," kind of smile.
No.
This was something else.
A slow, deliberate, sharp-edged thing.
Jade stepped closer, gaze glinting with quiet amusement.
"And what," he murmured, voice too smooth, too knowing, "would you be willing to offer me in return?"
You blinked.
Oh.
Oh, you might be in deep shit.
It had been weeks.
Weeks of asking Jade to temporarily bind himself to you. Weeks of bargaining, negotiating, and trying to convince him that this wasn’t some tragic, toxic love story where the frail Guide got used up like an expired battery. Weeks of him smiling at you like you were a particularly amusing lab rat scrambling against the walls of a maze.
And yet.
Despite all of that—he still guided you.
He still stepped in when your brain felt like it was melting from the inside out, still pressed a steady hand against your skin like it was the easiest thing in the world, still whispered, “Don’t fight it. Just relax.”
Which was a very funny thing to say to someone who could literally kill you by accident.
And that was the problem.
Because he wasn’t bound to you.
Which meant that if you drained him too much—if you accidentally pushed him past his limits—there would be no failsafe.
And if that happened—if you were even a fraction too reckless—
He would die.
And you would go to jail.
And, even worse, you would probably cry.
So, obviously, the rational thing to do was to pull away whenever you felt like you were taking too much.
Which brings you to now.
Jade had been guiding you for forty-five minutes.
FORTY-FIVE. MINUTES.
An ungodly amount of time. A suicidal amount of time.
You could already see the signs of fatigue in him. His touch had grown warmer, heavier, his breaths had slowed into something almost too steady.
He was getting tired.
Which meant it was time to get the hell out of here before you became a murderer.
You twisted, trying to sit up, and—like the absolute menace he was—Jade simply… swung his legs over yours, caging you beneath him like some deranged, smug, lanky cryptid that refused to let you escape.
You froze.
He smiled.
That sharp, infuriating, absolutely unhinged smile.
"Now, now," he murmured, voice sickeningly patient, "where do you think you're going?"
You stared at him in horror.
"You've been guiding me for almost an hour," you hissed, your muscles tense with the effort of not launching him across the room. "I refuse to let you die because you’re too stubborn to let me leave."
Jade tilted his head, considering.
"Hm."
You blinked.
"Hm"???
You had just laid out the possibility of a tragic demise and all he had to say was ‘hm’???
"What the hell does that mean?" you demanded.
Jade leaned in slightly, pressing his fingers against your neck, his touch featherlight.
"I wonder," he mused, eyes glinting with something that looked too much like amusement, "do you think perhaps you are underestimating me?"
"Underestimating you?" You nearly choked on your own disbelief. "Jade, you are a B-Class Guide. I could literally snap you in half like a goddamn glow stick."
"And yet," he said smoothly, "I am still here."
Your eye twitched.
"That is not the flex you think it is—"
"Shhh," he murmured, pressing his fingers against your temple. "Relax. Just a little longer."
You wanted to argue. You really, really did.
But the second his touch deepened the guiding, your entire body sagged under the weight of exhaustion.
You hated how much you trusted it.
You hated that, in the end, you let him win.
Because as much as you wanted to fight him, as much as you wanted to break free and flee the room—
You needed this.
And he knew it.
Which was why he was smiling so much.
The absolute menace.
Today, you did something very dangerous.
No, not fighting another Gate. Not risking your life for the safety of others. Not even getting guided by a man who was one unfortunate sneeze away from becoming a tragic obituary.
No, you did something far worse.
You asked Jade Leech what he wanted in return for keeping you alive.
It was a reasonable question! A necessary question! Because at this point, the man was essentially your life support, and it felt a little irresponsible to just assume he’d be happy with some gift baskets and heartfelt thank-you notes. If you were going to keep depending on him, you needed to know what he wanted.
So you asked.
And the menace smiled.
Which immediately sent your self-preservation instincts screaming.
That was never a good sign. Jade’s smiles were like sharks in shallow water—unsettling, unnatural, and a clear warning that something was about to go very, very wrong.
You braced yourself.
And then he said:
"A nature trail."
You stared at him.
And blinked.
And then stared at him some more.
Because surely you had misheard him.
“A nature trail,” you repeated slowly, because there was no possible way that was all he wanted. You had prepared for blackmail. You had budgeted for bribes. Hell, you had been willing to break the bank if it meant keeping him around (not to brag, but the government paid you stupidly well for constantly risking your life). And yet, out of all the possible insane, ominous, power-hungry demands he could’ve made—
He was asking for a casual stroll through the wilderness?
Jade nodded, the picture of serenity. “Yes.”
"That’s it?" You squinted at him, like maybe if you looked hard enough, you’d find some hidden, sinister agenda buried in his expression. "That's all you want? Not money? Not status? Not, I don’t know, government secrets?"
Jade’s lips twitched, his amusement almost palpable. “For now.”
For now.
For now???
You triple checked that he was being serious, eyed him with the kind of deep, unblinking suspicion normally reserved for politicians and people who ate their cereal without milk, but all he did was nod serenely.
And so, finally, reluctantly, completely aware that you were probably walking into some elaborate trap—
You sighed and muttered, "Sure. What the hell."
It was almost alarming how much fun you were having.
For once, you weren’t dealing with the constant, soul-crushing sensation of your own mind and body trying to rip each other apart like two rabid raccoons fighting over a single McDonald’s fry.
For once, you could just exist without the underlying fear of accidentally exploding something—or someone—if you weren’t careful.
And as it turned out, existing was kind of nice.
You took the time to smell the flowers (literally, because Jade had shoved one under your nose and said, “Tell me, do you also detect the faintest hint of decay?” which was an incredibly alarming sentence but a nice flower).
You watched as little woodland creatures scampered through the underbrush, entirely unbothered by the fact that an SSS-Class Esper and a B-Class Guide were just casually strolling through their home like a scenic couple in a nature documentary. And honestly?
It was peaceful. Disturbingly peaceful.
But the real sight—the real discovery—was Jade himself.
You had never seen him like this before. Completely in his element. He had dumped the entirety of your picnic basket into your arms without hesitation and was now roaming freely, examining plants with the intense curiosity of a man who had just found Atlantis.
Every few minutes, he’d pause and rattle off some absurdly specific nature fact at you, like, “This particular plant releases a toxin that causes temporary blindness if ingested. Isn’t that fascinating?” or “Did you know that otters sometimes use tools to crack open shellfish? Much like humans, they have a preference for certain objects. Some even carry the same rock with them for years.”
You had absolutely no idea why you found this so entertaining.
Maybe it was the way he spoke, all smooth enthusiasm and quiet amusement. Maybe it was the way he moved, effortless, unhurried, utterly unbothered by anything except whatever flora had captured his attention next. Or maybe—God help you—it was just him.
Not that you’d ever admit that. You’d rather eat your own boots.
Still, you couldn’t help but watch as he suddenly stilled. His gaze snapped toward something in the distance, eyes gleaming with open delight, and you knew—instinctively, immediately—that something was about to go down.
And sure enough—
"Ah."
That single, quiet syllable was so ominous you had to physically fight the urge to take a step back.
Then, Jade turned toward you, expression eerily composed despite the unmistakable excitement in his gaze, and said, “Do you see that mushroom?”
You followed his gaze toward the completely ordinary-looking tree. And then you squinted.
There, just barely within sight, was a mushroom.
A mushroom that looked like every other goddamn mushroom you had passed on this trip.
And yet.
Based on the way Jade’s entire soul had just left his body in pure, unfiltered joy, you could only assume it was some rare, once-in-a-lifetime god of the fungi.
You watched as he immediately took his phone out, snapping so many pictures you were half convinced he was going to submit them to a mushroom appreciation forum.
Then he paused.
And the exhilaration on his face dimmed—just slightly.
Because, unfortunately for him, the mushroom in question was just barely out of reach.
And you—a fool, an absolute clown, an irredeemable dumbass—
Put your bags down.
Walked up to him.
And lifted him up.
For a single, terrifying moment, there was silence.
Jade froze. His hands hovered in midair, like even he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.
Then, slowly, he reached forward.
Plucked the mushroom from its resting place.
And you—practically sweating bullets at the realization of what you had just done without even thinking about it—lowered him back onto solid ground.
The first thing he did was examine the sample like it was the most precious object in the entire world. The second thing he did was glance up at you—not with his usual smug amusement, not with teasing mirth, but something else entirely.
A slow, quiet smile.
Warm. Gentle. Uncharacteristically soft.
And that was the exact moment you thought, “Fuck my life, I’m doomed.”
Without another word, you picked your bags back up and followed him to the next area.
The Gate had been particularly easy to suppress today—by which you meant no spontaneous explosions, no sudden existential dread, and, most importantly, no feeling like your brain had been wrung out like a wet dishcloth. All in all, a successful day.
So when you spotted Jade afterward, you figured you wouldn’t need much from him. A little guidance, maybe. Some grounding. Nothing too serious.
What you did not expect, however, was to immediately slump against him like a Victorian maiden succumbing to the vapors.
At first, Jade visibly tensed. His muscles coiled, and he took a sharp breath—like he had genuinely thought you had just dropped dead in his arms.
But then he glanced down.
And instead of finding you on the verge of unconsciousness due to Esper-induced burnout, he found you…completely at peace.
Relaxed.
Asleep.
And oh.
Oh, this was interesting.
Jade stilled, the way a hunter does when something rare and unexpected steps into their sights. His lips quirked, amusement flickering across his face as he tilted his head, watching you with the same fascination he reserved for poisonous plants and particularly lively prey.
You had just…collapsed. Right into his arms.
Voluntarily.
Slowly—very slowly, like he was testing the weight of a particularly fragile glass sculpture—he adjusted his stance, shifting just enough so you could lean more comfortably against him.
And when you made a soft, barely audible sigh of contentment—an actual sigh of contentment—he almost laughed.
Jade glanced around, taking in the others in the vicinity. There were still a few agents packing up equipment, cataloging monster remains, finishing the usual post-Gate cleanup. No one seemed to be paying particular attention to your current predicament.
He debated waking you.
For about half a second.
Then, instead of nudging you upright, instead of rousing you from your accidental nap, he merely settled in more comfortably, adjusted his grip, and decided:
"A little while more wouldn’t hurt."
The first time you met Floyd Leech was…an experience.
Not in the way people say, “Oh, yeah, skydiving was an experience!” or “That seafood buffet really did a number on my stomach, what an experience!” No. This was more of a “I just survived a category five hurricane with nothing but a pool noodle and sheer willpower” kind of experience.
You knew Jade's twin was an Esper, and you'd heard the rumors about Floyd’s personality. Some people said he was unpredictable, others called him a walking natural disaster with an attention span that could either last three seconds or three months. B Rank Esper Floyd Leech, SSS Rank Menace.
And then, by sheer misfortune (or fate, depending on whose side you were on), you both ended up suppressing the same Gate.
Hearing him laugh as he shredded a monster like it was nothing but a chew toy was unsettling even for you. You had seen horrors beyond human comprehension, had fought creatures made of shadows and teeth, had experienced the kind of pain that would make a lesser being crumble—and yet.
Yet.
The way Floyd’s eyes locked onto you in the middle of the battlefield, the way his grin stretched wider, wider, as if he had just found a new favorite thing to play with—your instincts screamed at you. Your fight-or-flight response hit so hard you almost accidentally activated your Esper abilities on pure reflex.
(And the worst part? You were technically stronger than him. That did not make you feel any safer.)
Then, as if to truly cement his status as an absolute enigma, he took one look at you, tilted his head, and said:
"Ooooh~! A shrimpy!"
A shrimpy.
He just…he called you shrimpy.
And the worst part? It was kind of funny. Actually, it was lowkey adorable.
So you just. Didn’t stop him.
Which he took as an invitation, apparently, because the next thing you knew, he was slapping an arm around your shoulders like you were old friends. And with zero hesitation, he dragged you along as you both exited the Gate, whistling a happy little tune as if he hadn’t just been reveling in combat two minutes ago.
You barely had time to process what had just happened before you saw Jade.
Jade’s gaze looked…sharper.
It wasn’t obvious—he was still smiling, still polite, still the ever-composed Guide who had saved your ass on multiple occasions—but there was a distinct flicker of something behind his eyes as he looked at Floyd practically draping himself over you.
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t frown. Didn’t tell Floyd off.
He simply stepped forward, placed a hand on your shoulder, and gently pulled you away.
And just like that, the weight of Floyd’s arm disappeared, replaced by the steadier, more deliberate touch of his twin.
And Floyd?
Floyd just looked between the two of you.
Then, he grinned.
Then, he laughed.
And then, with all the enthusiasm of a man about to cause absolute chaos, he threw his head back and cackled.
"Ooooh, Azul is gonna LOVE this~!"
And before you could even begin to ask what the hell that meant, he waved and walked off toward a Guide—one who was probably prepared to deal with his absolute insanity.
You barely had time to recover before Jade gestured for you to sit.
Guidance was nothing new at this point. Usually, he just held your hand, grounded you with a touch, let his presence stabilize your energy until you were back to normal.
But today.
Today, he touched your foreheads together.
Your breath caught.
His hand was light against your jaw, but firm enough to keep you still. His forehead pressed against yours, close enough that you could feel his breath ghosting against your lips.
Your eyes fluttered shut on pure reflex, your fists clenching as if that would somehow stop the sudden, ridiculous way your pulse spiked.
This was fine.
This was fine.
Your mind was clear. Your energy was balanced. You were not thinking about his breath on your lips.
You absolutely, one hundred percent, were not thinking about how his voice, so soft, so deceptively gentle, murmured:
"Breathe."
You were so, so doomed.
The Gate had been massive—one of the worst ones in years.
It had opened with no warning, no telltale energy fluctuations, nothing. By the time the first responders had arrived, the battlefield was already drenched in blood.
A-class Espers, gone.
S-class Espers, gone.
By the time you had been thrown into the fray, the situation had spiraled so far out of control that your arrival felt less like a strategic decision and more like a last-ditch gamble.
Eight hours.
Eight hours of relentless combat.
Wave after wave, monster after monster, every time you cut one down, another two would replace it.
You had fought until your muscles felt like molten lead, until your vision blurred at the edges, until the very air around you burned with overuse of your own power—until the Gate finally stabilized just enough for you to close it.
And then, you stumbled out.
And everything hurt.
Everything was too much.
The sound of voices, the shifting of energy, the distant cries of the wounded—it all crashed into you like a tidal wave, scraping against your raw, frayed nerves. You were this close to losing control, to snapping under the pressure, to letting your Esper abilities swallow you whole.
But Jade wasn’t here.
Jade, your Guide, the one person who knew how to handle you when you reached your breaking point—wasn’t here.
Apparently, no one had informed him of your involvement in the battle. He was still on his way.
Which meant you were falling apart, and there was no one to catch you.
And so, the SSS-ranked Guide on standby stepped in.
The moment their hands touched you, you recoiled. Their presence was too much, too invasive, too overbearing, like someone trying to force a puzzle piece where it didn’t belong.
But you didn’t have a choice.
Their energy pressed against yours, crushing down, shoving your frayed emotions back into place like jamming a lid onto a boiling pot.
You wanted to throw up.
Your entire body screamed wrong, wrong, wrong.
But if you pushed them away, if you lost control, if you went berserk right here in the aftermath of this bloodbath—people would die.
So you clung to them, shaking, white-knuckled, letting them guide you as best as they could.
And you hoped—prayed—that Jade would get here soon.
When Jade first stabilized you, he had thought of you as entertainment.
It was hilarious, really. The strongest Esper to ever exist, the one the government practically worshiped, the one whose very presence made monsters hesitate—completely helpless without him.
Oh, you could fight. You could tear through Gates like they were made of paper, you could reduce monsters to mist and regrets, but the moment it was over? The moment your power turned inward and tried to rip you apart? Only he could fix it.
Jade had never considered himself sentimental, and certainly not possessive. People were people. They came, they went, they lived, they died. He had met more than a few Espers in his life, had guided his fair share, and yet—none of them had ever needed him. Not the way you did.
And the best part? You were terrified of hurting him.
Absolutely adorable.
Your desperation to keep him safe was comedy gold. You were an SSS-rank nightmare, strong enough to turn city blocks into craters, and yet, the moment he touched you, you flinched like you might break him. You barely let him guide you for more than a few minutes, always watching him like he was made of glass, like he might shatter if you took too much.
Jade had never been one for attachment, so he simply dodged all your attempts at even a temporary bond. What was the point? He liked the little game you two had going on. You kept asking, kept trying to tie him down, and he kept laughing and evading, watching you get more and more frustrated. Too much fun to stop now.
Even when he invited you to the nature trail, it had been on a whim. A little curiosity, a little test. He expected you to sulk in the corner, maybe grumble under your breath about how boring it was, or sigh dramatically like you were suffering for his sake.
Instead, you had participated.
You had followed him through the trees, asked questions, even leaned in close to examine the plants he showed you. And when he couldn’t reach a mushroom, you had—without hesitation, without even thinking—simply lifted him up.
Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
That had been the moment something inside him had shifted.
Jade wasn’t sure he liked it.
It was unfamiliar, uncomfortable. Unsettling. A quiet sort of tug, deep in his chest, something that made him pause when he looked at you.
Before, it had been easy to laugh off questions.
"Jade, what’s the deal with you and them?" someone would ask, and he would smirk, deflect, change the subject.
Now?
Now, when people asked, he had to bite back the urge to say, “They’re mine.”
So when he heard about the Gate—eight hours, a battle, an ambush that had already killed dozens before you were called in—
He didn’t hesitate.
He had barely taken the time to grab Floyd, all but shoving him into the driver’s seat. "Drive."
Floyd, ever delighted by drama, had driven like a man possessed. Jade wasn’t entirely sure how they weren’t in a burning wreck by the time they arrived, but at least they got there fast.
And when he stepped onto the battlefield, pushing past medics, ignoring protocol—he saw you.
Sick. Wounded. Barely standing.
In the arms of someone else.
His stomach turned.
Jade had never experienced jealousy before, not in any real way. He was too patient, too controlled, too much of a sadist to truly be envious of anything. But seeing you there, shaking and exhausted, clinging to someone who wasn’t him—
Something ugly coiled in his chest.
For the first time in his life, Jade Leech felt like throwing up.
The moment you saw Jade, it was over for the poor, unfortunate soul currently keeping you upright.
You shoved the deeply offended Guide off you like they were an inconvenience, a minor roadblock between you and salvation. You could apologize later. Right now, your legs were giving out, your head was spinning, and the only thing you knew for certain was that you needed him.
Jade barely had time to react before you reached for him, stumbling forward, barely coherent, barely standing.
And he ran to you.
Jade Leech—calm, composed, unshakable Jade—ran.
You collapsed against him the second he was close enough, clutching him like a man stranded in the desert clutching the first drop of rain. His touch was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality, the only thing that made the burning, suffocating feeling inside you ease just a little.
“Thank you,” you gasped, fingers twisting in the fabric of his uniform, voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for coming.”
Jade stiffened.
You barely registered it. You were too far gone, too exhausted, too feverish. But if you had been paying attention, you would have seen something rare, something almost unheard of—
Jade Leech looking completely and utterly shocked.
Like he hadn’t expected you to say that. Like he hadn’t expected you to look at him like he was something worth holding onto.
And then, because you were nothing if not a disaster, you giggled—actually giggled, delirious and exhausted and overwhelmed by relief.
“Your face…” you murmured, the edges of your vision darkening. “You look so—”
And then you went completely limp in his arms.
Jade was not panicking.
No, truly, he wasn’t. Panic was an unbecoming emotion, a pointless thing that only clouded one’s judgment. It was inefficient. Wasteful. Jade Leech did not panic.
So when you went completely limp in his arms, when your body sagged against him like a puppet with its strings cut, he did not panic.
He simply—assessed the situation.
He shook you gently, then not-so-gently, but you were completely unresponsive, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. His hands slid over your back, fingers pressing against the pulse points in your wrists, your neck—too fast, too unsteady, too weak.
He tried guiding you, pushing that familiar, stabilizing force into you, but it was like pouring water into a cup that had already shattered—it wasn’t enough.
You needed something more.
Jade hesitated.
For the first time in years, he hesitated.
And then, before he could think better of it, before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned in and kissed you.
It was not soft, nor was it gentle. This was not a kiss meant to be romantic, nor was it something he had ever done before. But kissing—intimate, overwhelming, all-encompassing kissing—had long been known as one of the most effective ways for a Guide to stabilize an Esper.
And Jade had never needed to put in this much effort before.
Your lips were warm beneath his, feverish and trembling. He could feel it the second it worked—your grip on him tightened, fingers twisting in his coat as you gasped against his mouth. A shudder ran through your body as you pulled him closer, kissed him back.
Jade felt something snap.
It was an ugly thing, this feeling in his chest. Sharp-edged and burning. He didn’t know if he was kissing you to help you, to save you—
Or if he was kissing you because he wanted to.
But then—oh, then—his lips curled against yours as a slow, unbearable sense of triumph unfurled inside him. Because you weren’t just kissing him back.
You were kissing him back in front of everyone.
In front of all the other Guides who had spent years chasing after you, aching for the chance to stabilize you, to prove themselves worthy of being your match.
And yet, it was his arms you had collapsed into. His touch that had soothed you. His lips you were parting for, grasping at like he was the only thing keeping you from slipping into the abyss.
Jade had spent months dodging your attempts at forming a temporary bond, laughing as you fumbled for something more than what he was willing to give.
Now, you were clinging to him.
And wasn’t that just the most delicious thing?
Waking up to someone kissing you was new.
Waking up to Jade kissing you, though? That was absolutely not on your bingo card.
Your mind, sluggish from the near-death experience of the century, took a moment to catch up. There was warmth against your lips—soft, careful, lingering. A hand at the back of your neck, cool fingers threading through your hair. The faint scent of damp earth and saltwater, familiar, grounding.
And then, your body caught up with your brain and realized oh, holy shit, that’s Jade.
A normal person would pull away, maybe demand an explanation. Possibly scream.
You?
You wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.
Jade let out a noise—half a laugh, half a surprised hum—but he didn’t stop you. If anything, he melted into you, his lips curling into a smile against yours. His hand tightened at your nape, fingers splaying against your back, and when you deepened the kiss, he sighed into your mouth like he had been waiting for you to do it.
That was almost enough to send you straight into cardiac arrest.
When you finally pulled away, you were fully awake, body thrumming with energy. Not just from the guiding—though, yeah, that was part of it—but from the undeniable, inescapable fact that Jade Leech had just kissed you. That you had kissed him back.
Jade didn’t move far. If anything, he leaned in closer, forehead brushing against yours, his breath still warm on your lips. His gaze flickered across your face, taking in the flush burning its way up your cheeks, the way you were still holding onto him like you’d fall apart if you let go.
You wanted to say something, maybe tease him, maybe demand an explanation, but words weren’t exactly functioning right now. You could barely think beyond holy shit that was the best kiss of my life.
Jade, for once, wasn’t smug.
Or, no. He was trying to be. He had the smirk, the casual tone, the playful tilt of his head. But his fingers twitched against your back, his grip just a little too tight. And when he finally spoke, his voice was a fraction softer than usual, a little too careful.
"Would you," he said, "perhaps, be interested in permanently bonding with me?"
You blinked.
Jade Leech. Jade Leech. The same Jade who had dodged every attempt you made at even a temporary bond, who found it hilarious that only he could stabilize you, who treated your guiding sessions like some kind of ongoing game.
That Jade had just asked if you wanted to bond.
Permanently.
Your heart stuttered. His hand was trembling.
He swallowed, like he was waiting for you to say no.
You didn't answer. Not with words, anyway. Instead, you grabbed him by the collar and kissed him again.
Jade made a startled sound before melting into you completely, his arms locking around you like he had no plans of letting go. His lips curled into another smile against yours—this time, not smug, but genuine.
Like he had won.
You had asked him eighteen times.
Eighteen.
And, frankly, Jade was getting impatient.
The first time, it had been endearing. You had looked at him with wide, wary eyes, like you thought this was some elaborate joke. You had stammered out a, "You—You're sure? Like, actually sure?" and Jade, who was in a good mood, had simply hummed and said yes.
The second time, it had been amusing. You had grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him aside, and, in a whisper like you were plotting treason, said, "Look, I won’t be mad if you back out. You know that, right? Like, this is a huge deal, and if this was just, y’know, heat of the moment, that’s totally okay. No hard feelings."
The third, fourth, fifth, and so on?
Infuriating.
Jade could not, for the life of him, figure out how to convince you that he meant what he said. Yes, he wanted to bond. Yes, permanently. No, he had not lost his mind.
And yet, here you were, pacing across his living room, your arms crossed, rambling for the nineteenth time about how he still had a choice, how you wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t want to go through with it, how he wouldn’t be able to guide anyone else ever again if he bonded to you, how that might be too much to give up.
Jade, stretched out on the couch, chin propped against his palm, sighed.
He had enough patience to last centuries.
But this?
This was getting ridiculous.
"—and I'm just saying," you continued, voice a little frantic, "I've seen Guides get really resentful about it. You could go from stabilizing a hundred people to just me. And you know how bad I get, how it hurts, and I'm not saying you can't handle it, but, like, are you sure? Like, really sure? Because—"
Jade leaned forward, grabbed your collar, and kissed you.
You stumbled, caught off guard, and his lips curled when he felt you tense up before relaxing completely. He kissed you slow, deliberate, like he was trying to make you feel the answer you had refused to believe.
And when he finally pulled away, he let his teeth graze your bottom lip just slightly, smirking when he felt you shiver.
"Does that answer your question?" he asked, voice smooth, teasing.
You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water.
Jade’s smirk widened.
"You're overthinking it," he said, reaching out, gripping your wrist, tugging you closer. "There’s no one who could entertain me quite like you do, you know? Maybe it’s time for a career change. I’ll be your Guide, and yours alone."
Something inside you lurched.
Something possessive.
Jade, yours.
Only yours.
His gaze flickered to your lips. Amused. Challenging.
"So?" he said, voice mocking light, but his fingers tightened around your wrist, his pulse beating just a little too fast. "Are we doing this or not?"
Your breath hitched.
And then, you grabbed him by his collar, yanked him down, and kissed him again.
This time, you bit his lip.
Jade laughed into your mouth—pleased, triumphant—before pulling you against him and kissing you so deeply you felt it in your bones.
And just like that, the bond clicked into place.
Waking up with Jade curled against you was a rare privilege.
For one, he was a light sleeper. Most of the time, you barely shifted and he’d already be watching you like some creepy forest cryptid. But today, he must’ve been exhausted from the bonding because he was still tucked against you, his breathing slow and utterly unguarded.
It was… nice.
Nice enough that you felt unreasonably smug about it.
You shifted just a little, tightening your hold around him, and he hummed in contentment, pressing closer without fully waking up. Unfair. How was this the same Jade who deliberately guided you half the time by whispering things against your lips just to make you flustered?
You could get used to this.
And then it hit you.
You’d bonded. Permanently.
But you had never actually asked him to be yours.
As in, romantically.
Your eyes snapped open. Oh. Oh, you had fumbled.
You knew Jade had agreed to the bond, obviously, but—was he in love with you? Did he see this as just a Guide-Esper partnership? Did you just lock yourself into a lifelong working relationship like some corporate contract??
He slowly stirred and just as he blinked at you, before you could think better of it, you blurted out, "What are we?"
Jade went still.
Like, completely, horrifyingly motionless.
You felt him exhale sharply, his hand twitching against your side, as if physically restraining himself.
For a long moment, he said nothing.
Then, finally, slowly, he pulled back just enough to look at you, and the expression on his face was somewhere between fondness, disbelief, and the soul-crushing realization that he was in love with a complete idiot.
"...Are you serious?" he asked, his voice painfully even.
You hesitated. "...Yes?"
Jade closed his eyes.
He inhaled.
He exhaled.
He inhaled again.
Then, finally, he muttered, "God give me strength."
You frowned. "Look, I’m just saying, you never actually—"
"Do you think I would bond with you permanently if I wasn't in love with you?" he asked, voice slower, more deliberate, as if carefully handling a very stupid but very precious object.
You blinked.
Paused.
And then you felt heat creep up your neck.
"...Oh," you said, a little dumbly.
Jade sighed.
But before he could say anything else, you reached out and pulled him back into your chest.
You hid your face against his hair.
"...Love you too," you mumbled, voice muffled, but he could hear the smile in it.
Jade, after a long beat of silence, finally let out a breathless laugh.
And as you held him close, warm and undeniably happy, he thought, Yup. They’re my dumbass.
Masterlist
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#jade leech x reader#jade x reader#jade leech x you#jade leech#twst jade#jade#guideverse#guideverse x reader#࣪ ִֶָ☾. guideverse
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CAMGIRL ELLIE


Camgirl Ellie AU: Ellie Williams x Fem! reader
Description: Ellie is a broke college student whose options are either selling weed on campus or doing filthy things on live for her mainly female audience. When another famous camgirl joins one of her lives, she is about to have the collab of a lifetime.
Content / Warnings: Femme camgirl reader, headcannon-style fic, explicit content, Jesse and Dina make cameos woah, Ellie is all cute and nervous for the first half, masturbation on camera, fingering & oral sex, use of strap-ons, reader is on receiving end, feminine reader, use of petnames (baby and mamas), breeding kinks, mult. orgasms. Enjoy the ride.
Word Count: 3.3k
★ Camgirl Ellie who is a sophomore in college, so broke and extremely desperate come with the territory. Like, Taco Bell is a luxury broke, and desperate as in she has applied to every job around campus. She even thought about dealing for a while, but as much as she loves a good smoke sesh, she'd rather not risk getting kicked out of school for something as dumb as selling blunts.
★ Camgirl Ellie who laughed when her friend Jesse suggested her being a camgirl.
"Why the fuck would I give old creepy dudes jerk-off material?"
Jesse laughed, grabbing a handful of cheetos from the bag in her hand. "Dude, you wouldn't be doing it for men. I mean, look at you." Jesse took a good, hard look at his friend; the several silver rings across her five fingers, a short-sleeve blue button up layered over a white wife-pleaser, and for god's sake, a pair of jorts that only Ellie could pull off. "You're clearly not for the male gaze."
After much (15 minutes) contemplation, she decided that maybe it'd be fun to get attention from girls and money at the same time.
★ Camgirl Ellie who is actually rather awkward and quiet around girls in the real world, cursing "fuck" under her breath when she sees a pretty girl but just doesn't know how to impress women in a way that doesn't come off as too forward or weird. That being said, she actually likes having a persona online where she can say anything she wants, and she definitely abuses the fact that she is allowed to say anything she truly feels like saying, and women will go crazy for it.
Sitting on her couch, propping up her iphone 11 on the coffee table with a pop socket she got like, 6 years ago so that the fans have a wonderful view of her stroking a strap-on with cheap lube she picked up from her local Walmart. Her bush is slightly peeking out from the harness, and the fans are getting filthy. Not as filthy as camgirl Ellie, though.
"Fuck, feels so good on my clit.." she groans, throwing her head back dramatically.
dykeluvr69 commented: oh my god y'all her happy trail i'm throbbing
wet4williams commented: i wish i could ride that strap
andersonsabs33 commented: mid💀
Ellie squints, anticipating all the thirsty comments, and scoffs at one, her hand jerking away from the silicone shaft for a moment to tell off some random.
"Suck my dick, andersonabs33."
fairydustonmyclit_2 commented: me next please!!
★ Camgirl Ellie who doesn't always have to be explicit to even get views. She finds that focusing the camera on her fingers while strumming her guitar can work wonders online. If she has had an exhausting day or is feeling anxious about getting naked in front of an overwhelmingly growing audience, she can always just show off her hands or say sweet things to her fans.
★ Camgirl Ellie who is not a virgin. She's had a few past girlfriends, no casual sex, but is pretty experienced from her long-term relationships. That being said, she never once has considered doing actual sex on camera for money. That changes when another famous (and nearby) camgirl joins her livestream.
Ellie's once again on her couch, two fingers doing figure eights on her clit as the view count rises. She's basically man-spreading to give her girls the best view possible, and not holding back from letting out breathy little groans and loud curses. Her fans go crazy when she has her tits out, so her sports bra is hitched up, her perky tits free and her nipples stiff.
"F-Feels so good, holy shit, wanna cum for my girls so bad," she groans, closing her eyes. Ellie doesn't view real masturbation as anything like her online work; if she were actually to be playing with her pussy all alone with no audience, she'd cum by now. But that doesn't make a profit, no. Longer time is important, and the more she ups the antics, teases her fans, the more comments can come in. The more donations arise and all that good shit.
Ellie teases her entrance with her middle finger, and her eyes flutter open as she eases the digit past her puffy folds.
She reads through the chat to hold out from cumming too quickly.
elliessluttygirl commented: i wish that was my hand playing w ur pussy ellie:(
Ellie smiles, curling her finger and moaning. She smiles lazily. "Yeah, slutty girl..wish it was yours, too."
As she adds a second finger upon the majority request in her comment section, she pauses at the feed.
urfavfemme has joined the livestream. Say hi!
Holy fuck. Ellie hasn't seen your videos, but the pink checkmark on your name means you're verified. Suddenly, Ellie is nervous as hell now. How is she supposed to act now, with some famous, probably fine woman watching her? She swallows and continues bucking up into her palm, but her fingers are slightly shaky now.
urfavfemme commented: ur pussy is so pretty.
Ellie laughs nervously at that. What the fuck is happening? But maybe she can use the situation to her advantage.
" 'urfavfemme', huh? Cute username," she coos, a little breathlessly because now she's getting closer to cumming, her nerves dying down as her fingers massage her sensitive walls. Ellie is so fucked up, she thinks to herself. She doesn't even know what you look like yet, why is she getting so crazed by you complimenting her?
urfavfemme commented: i wanna see that pretty pussy squirt please..
Ellie moans and squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, trying to wrap her head around it all. She gets dozens of comments just like these, thirsty ass girls drooling to her playing with herself or showing off a strap-on. Why is it that the idea of you, a self-proclaimed 'femme' making these comments is the thing that makes her belly all hot with the familiar ache of true need?
pixiestickpussy commented: holy shit this is so hot
wet4williams commented: is it just me or is smth going on with ellie and this camgirl chick
imonherefortheporn69 commented: i checked out the girl's content she's super hot dude
Ellie's head is spinning at the whole situation. It's overwhelming and she wants to just turn off the camera, but she's so close and getting desperate to cum. It is just so fucking hard when all of her girls are in an uproar over you.
urfavfemme commented: stretch me out on those fingers.
"Oh- Oh, my fucking god!! 'm cumming-" Ellie can barely keep herself from crying out as the waves shoot through her body throughout, a finger covering her clit to extend the orgasm that hits her so deeply. Her fingers are soaked more than usual, juices trickling down her knuckles. Her other palm is massaging over her tits, and for a moment, she forgets she is on camera. Forgets the thousands of people watching her, probably fingering themselves just like her. The though that is usually so overwhelming is forgotten.
Her body is warm, and if she could describe how this nut feels right about now, she'd say it's hot pink. It's light lightning, and for some reason, all she can repeat in her head is "thank you thank you thank you urfavfemme" because seriously, this has been one of the most insane experiences of her life. When she finally comes down, she has to take a few moments to catch her breath.
The aftermath of it all hits her. She did not just cum like she does in private. The usually dramatic orgasms the viewers got are nothing like that, and for what? Some girl she hasn't even seen yet?
The comments are going off, praising her and thirsting like she's never seen before, but she is still panting and flushed on her couch.
urfavfemme has donated $1000.
urfavfemme has left the livestream. Bye!
Ellie is quickly turning off the stream with a half-assed goodbye, and collapsing back onto her couch. She cannot believe that she just lost control like that. Her mind is processing the huge donation, too. A whole thousand is more than she's ever gotten in donations on a single live. How famous are you?
Ellie can't dwell much, because as her body cools down, she realizes how soaked the towel she is sitting on is. Oh, my god. She actually squirted on live.
★ Camgirl Ellie who searches up your username on google a few days following the squirting contest incident, and is soon brought to a url that hits her like a flashbang as soon as it loads on her ancient ass laptop. Her screen is covered in pink, and a pretty white font with your username is front and center. She then sees your face and nearly nuts. You're fucking gorgeous, definitely out of her league.. How are you the same girl that talked her through an intense orgasm over a livestream the other night?
★ Camgirl Ellie who spends the next few hours watching your videos. She has found a new obsession, that's for sure.
She has hearts in her eyes watching you bounce on a fairly-sized dildo suctioned to your floor, helplessly groaning with a hand down her basketball shorts as your pussy swallows the length of the toy. Your moans are what really gets her. You sound like anything but the pornstars she's heard, instead moaning like you're really getting it. And suddenly, Ellie wants to be the one to give it to you.
★ Camgirl Ellie who types out various messages to send to your gmail so conveniently linked on your website until she finally settles on something not too awkward
From: [email protected]
Subject: Collab? Dear urfavfemme,
You were in my livestream the other day. I'm Ellie from the camgirl website, and I wanna know if you'd like to collab? (If you're around my area, of course).
Reading it back after she sent it, she sighs. That looks way too fucking professional for a request to do porn together.
★ Camgirl Ellie who anxiously waits for about an hour, not even Borderlands 3 able to distract her before she finally gets an email back.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Collab?
Hi!! I'm in Fairview, WY if you're near? I'd love to collab:)
★ Ellie, who is freaking the fuck out now. She hadn't had sex in two years since Dina traumatized her with the worst break-up possible, and you're one of the hottest girls she's ever seen. Plus, she is only an hour away from you.
Jesse laughs when she rants to him about the whole thing.
"So you've got a fine ass girl offering to have sex with you? What's the problem?"
Ellie scoffs and gives him a glare, but there isn't any true malice. "That's the problem, idiot! She is way hotter than me. Plus, I haven't even had any practice in so long. What if I can't make her cum? What if I embarrass myself on live in front of both of our fan-"
"C'mon man, you gotta get out of your head about this. Does she seem nice?"
Ellie nods.
Jesse sighs, and slightly softens his tough-love look. "Look, she is probably just as nervous as you are. Give yourself a break, and go have fun with the pretty femme girl."
★ Camgirl Ellie who shows up at your apartment a little earlier than she meant to. She didn't mean to speed, but she was nervous on the road, anxiously tapping the steering wheel.
★ Camgirl Ellie who is greeted by you in a robe and what she assumes is going to be either nothing or lingerie underneath. That makes her heart beat even faster. She feels like she's gonna puke from how nervous she is, you're even more gorgeous up close.
★ Camgirl Ellie who takes in your bedroom compared to her own small apartment's bedroom. You've got posters covering your walls of various artists like PinkPantheress and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts; your bedsheets match your whole feminine vibe, and you have a whole camera set up with a stand. There's a box with a harness and different sizes of dildos inside of it. All of this is making Ellie even more nervous, like, shit her pants nervous.
You seem to take notice of her nerves, because you have clear concern on your face as you guide her to sit on your bed.
"You okay, Ellie?" voice so sweet and soothing, it could make her heart stop.
"Yeah..I'm okay.." she sighs, and anxiously chews on her lip, "I'm just like, me.. and you're super hot and all-"
Ellie's self-doubt is choked off when you cup her face, leaning in. "Do you know why I donated?"
"Why?" Ellie sounds shaky, a little confused on where this is going.
You give her a sweet smile, your glossy lips catching the ceiling light. You lean in even closer so that you can speak quietly, intimately. "I thought that you were easily one of the hottest camgirls I've ever seen on the website."
Ellie's eyebrows shoot up at that. "No fuckin' way you think that.."
Your smile doesn't falter, and you lean in even closer. "I do. I want you to fuck me, Ellie."
★ Camgirl Ellie who didn't know how passionately one could eat a pussy until she got a taste of yours. With the camera all set up and the live on, viewers roll in quickly at the promise of a collab between their two favorite lesbian camgirls. Ellie never forgot about the camera when it came to her solo steams, but you just have an effect on her that makes her head dizzy and her pussy throb, and all of a sudden she has her tongue deep in your wet pussy, alternating between tonguing your hole and tasting your clit. You're sprawled out on your bed, completely naked with Ellie between your thighs, and your moans are even louder than usual. They're angelic sounds that make the comments roll in like crazy.
dykeluvr69 commented: ellie eats pussy like a madman and i am so jealous rn
andersonabs33 commented: she's too sloppy with it, slow tf down girl.
This time, Ellie is far too blissed out devouring you to even pull away and tell the troll to fuck off.
"Mmmph, pussy tastes so fuckin' good.." You can't make out her muffled declaration, but the vibrations on your clit have you creaming for her.
Your pussy just sings for her. Three orgasms in, and she hasn't even used the strap she's wearing yet. She wants to savor every soft whimper you make when she nibbles on your neck before making out with you, tongue shoving into your mouth so that you can take your own perfect pussy on her tongue.
★ Camgirl Ellie whose fingers curl inside of you relentlessly, pumping into you, coaxing out orgasms like it's nothing. To her though, it is truly everything. You cry like you're pleading for her to never stop. It feels like hours that she's been tending to the perfect cunt you've got between your legs, and she doesn't know where she even learned half of the shit she's done. It isn't too hard to please you when she craves your sounds, though. She craves the feeling of your thighs squeezing the apples of her cheeks, making her lightheaded.
★ Camgirl Ellie who saves best for last, finally rubbing girthy silicone against your clit, making you whine in the process. That sound goes straight to her clit.
She grins with a newfound confidence, one she think that she has been given from a witchy ritual or something, not lesbian camgirl sex.
"You want me to fuck you good, baby? Fuck you 'till you squirt on my dick like you made me squirt?"
"Please, fuck, Ellie..." You're babbling nonsense at this point, legs spread wide and knees almost to your ears at you nearly sob for her dick.
"C'mon mamas, I wanna hear you beg for me." She taps the tip against your clit repeatedly, holding you down by the back your thighs to keep you from trying to squirm for more.
"Please, Ellie!! Fuck me, make me cum. I want your dick."
Ellie groans as she finally parts your soaked folds with the tip, sinking into your heat slowly as to not hurt you, but she soon finds that your walls are just swallowing her completely. All that foreplay must've really paid off.
★ Camgirl Ellie who practically goes from a nervous wreck to a pornstar in a matter of minutes, because she insists that she can feel how tight you are around her huge dick.
"Fuck, baby. Gonna fuck this pussy so good, gonna make you scream my name." She manhandles your legs around her waist so that she can hold your hips while she pounds into you, creating a whole bonfire of heat in your pussy.
"Feel you so deep in me, Ellie!" You almost break when she starts leaving sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your neck.
"Yeah? Gonna make you feel me in your tummy, mamas. Gonna put a baby in you." Where in the hell did that come from? You both roll with it, if not getting even more riled up by the idea of Ellie cumming in you and knocking you up.
"Please, Ellie. 'm g-gonna cum for you-" before you can finally have your orgasm, it's ripped away as she pulls out of you. You can't even protest or make a loud whine before Ellie is flipping you onto your stomach, frantic to tuck one of your pink pillows underneath your tummy. She lines back up with your sloppy hole, slamming back into it to earn herself an actual sob from you.
You cry into the pillow, not from pain at all. No, this is probably one of the best fucks you've ever had in your life. Ellie doesn't start slow again but rather pistons her hips into yours, bony hips slamming into the fat of your ass upon each thrust until you finally get the intense orgasm you need.
"Pleaseknockmeup-" you cum with a broken cry, a couple euphoric tears streaming down your face. Your poor bedsheets, all soaked from you and Ellie's pussies and your tears. At this angle with the pillow raising you, you believe you can truly feel Ellie all up in your stomach. The waves are more like knots of a rope being snapped in half deep inside of you, and Ellie only keeps you riding the pleasure with her little sloppy grunts audible behind you.
Ellie groans as the friction to her own clit is vastly more intense with each grind to meet your body, and now she is humping your ass to get herself off. After she cums with a "gonna fucking cum in this pussy", she goes limp on top of you, her sweaty body covering yours, her tits pressed against your back in a way that is more comforting than arousing now.
★ Camgirl Ellie and you who entirely forget about the live and fall asleep in your bed together, snuggled up with you the big spoon, and the cum-coated strap on thrown somewhere across the room. Your bodies are flush against each other and your hands are wrapped around Ellie’s stomach, holding her closely.
fairydustonmyclit_2 commented: aw this is actually kind of cute
pixiestickpussy commented: i wanna be sandwiched between them wtf
limpbizkitsbitch commented: ts gonna be awkward when they wake up
andersonabs33: quit being a miserable bitch
limpbizkitsbitch: ironic coming from you🌝
andersonabs33 has left the live. Bye!
#ellie williams#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#the last of us part 2#ellie smut#ellie williams au#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#lesbian sex#wlw#dividers by enchanthings#dividers by anitalenia
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as someone who trains new hires at my place of work. that's not how u train or treat new people. god bless.
thrilling update to the quitting walmart/getting a new food service job. i had a four hour panic attack at the fucking sandwich assembly station, clocked out for my lunch, called my walmart manager, asked if i can cancel that whole two weeks/quitting thing, she said yes, and i am now overdue for going back to this other place and im simply not going in god bless.
#1. watch new person like a hawk not just for confusion/mistakes but overwhelm#2. if overwhelm is present idc how late you are on orders. that kid gets to take a 5min break immediately#you don't want someone upset and doing tasks/interacting with customers and also#if they're overwhelmed you're doing it wrong to begin with. you're giving them too much to handle#assign them to the one thing they're comfortable on. make sure they're comfortable on it. tell them they're doing great#etc. be kind and encouraging and gently fix mistakes/explain how to do things#anyway none of that was happening for me. i did really like the shift manager but by the time she came in i was going over#what i was gonna say to my walmart manager#if it is fucking batshit crazy you put them on the simplest job and you clap and cheer when they do the most basic maneuvers
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Thinkin about a DCxDP where Danny’s helping ghosts find peace while he’s laying low in Gotham.
Like, he moved away from Amity for whatever reason. Maybe the reveal went badly, maybe he just couldn’t stand staying any longer. For whatever reason, he’s in Gotham, because the rent is cheap and he’s nowhere near the strangest thing there so no one looks at him twice.
However, this city is cursed. Like, cursed beyond cursed. It’s actively alive with how many curses there are, and the ghosts there are extremely unhappy about it.
(Of course, that’s not a problem for Danny. His ghost side filters out the toxic smog and the chemicals in the water, and his human side gives a resistance to the rank ecto and the hexes that are actively trying to devour him.)
He doesn’t really want to do anything about it, to be honest.
He’s sick of playing hero, considering how it went last time, and he’s busy working at Waffle House or Walmart or whatever other store doesn’t bother doing a background check (in Gotham, that’s probably all of them), and maybe trying to find a way to get highschool credits that don’t immediately disqualify him from every college in existence.
Still, the ghosts know he can hear them. They know, and they keep coming for help.
So, hey, why not? He definitely can’t put this as experience in any sort of job application, but he really doesn’t have much else to do.
So, he becomes errand boy for a bunch of ghosts.
Sometimes he’s finding objects that are important to them, sometimes he’s giving evidence they collected together of their murders to the police, sometimes he’s getting them the last meal they never had, sometimes he’s just spending time with them like they’re not dead.
The ghosts don’t always move on, but they’re always more at peace. Occasionally they pay him back in charms and blessings and the locations of valuables that he can keep or pawn for cash.
Eventually, a new ghost shows up.
She looks like a shadow, like all the ghosts of Gotham, but she seems stronger than usual. She asks him for a favor that those who came before him were never able to fulfill.
She asks him to find her engagement ring, and give it to her son.
Easy enough, he thinks. It’s a bit of a pain to buy the ring from the seedy pawn shop it’s in (he would usually just steal it, but he doesn’t want to implicate her kid in anything, which she seems grateful for), but everything’s going mostly alright.
Then, she tells him who her son is, and wow, no wonder no one’s helped her yet.
He’s Red Hood. The guy who is(/was) the crime lord in charge of crime alley. The title sounds a bit stupid to Danny, but he’s still a genuine threat to a living person.
Good thing he’s not one of those.
And so, the next time he sees Red Hood out and about, he goes right up to him. The man seems mostly unbothered, but Danny does notice how his hand slightly drifts towards one of his many weapons.
He tells Red Hood outright that he’s there on behalf of the man’s mother, then just holds out his hand with the ring inside, dropping it into Red Hood’s open palm.
Then he leaves, not waiting for a response.
—
Jason has a mystery on his hands, and he might just cash in some favors from Babs and Tim to figure it out.
He’s got to find the guy who gave him his mother’s ring, and find out everything he knows.
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dead on main#MAYBE ship maybe not you decide lol#also a fun idea for this would be Danny (scrawny blue eyed black haired guy of indeterminate age)#giving Bruce something that one of his parents wanted him to have#maybe a family artifact that was lost like a necklace with a photo inside or something#and he gives it. to batman#utterly unaware of the absolute fucking chaos he just caused#but yea not specifying the age so you can go ship route or adoption route
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a lesson in condom sense | dbf!j.m. x f!reader
masterlist pairing: dbf!joel miller x sex shop employee!reader summary: [no outbreak] the last customer you expect to be waltzing into your secret day job is your dad's best friend. you can only fight the tension between you two for so long before giving in. warnings: (18+ mdni) what it says on the can: reader works at an adult store, many sex toys referenced (& used!), age gap (mid 20s/early 50s) brief mention of sex work, don't follow reader's example, joel buys a fleshlight, joel fantasizes about you, brief mention of bondage, mostly pwp, reader humps a chair + gets caught doing it, mild exhibitionism, 'just the tip' that leads into unprotected piv, creampie, oral (f!receiving), vaginal fingering, joel uses a vibrator on reader, degradation, praise, soft dom!joel, pet names, aftercare [no use of y/n] word count: 6.5k a/n: condom sense is, in fact, a real sex shop that exists and serves the DFW metro area, so not exactly austin, but the name was too perfect not to pretend. unlike these two, please favor condom sense and wrap it up. dbf sex shop joel won the poll for my next wip, but expect coach!joel pt. 2 to be right around the corner.
Admittedly, working at a sex shop isn’t the highest point in your life, but it certainly isn’t the lowest, either. The 40% off employee discount does soften the blow of lying through your teeth at cookouts. Saying you’re working at Walmart while trying to navigate a competitive job market goes over better than saying you work at Condom Sense.
All things considered, it’s not the worst place you’ve worked. Your manager, a 60-year-old stuck in the 70s named Sally, is much more lenient than your past bosses. You get to recommend toys to the girls that come through, and you also get the satisfaction of them coming back to sing your praises. Condom Sense never would’ve been your first choice of work right out of college, but now you almost mourn the day you’ll have to leave.
Thumbing through an old issue of Cosmopolitan, your bubblegum is beginning to lose its flavor. The tinny noise of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” purrs out of the ancient radio sitting alongside tentacle dildos. It’s still a little weird to have a constant audience of whips, handcuffs, vibrators, fleshlights, and everything in between, but since your bedside drawer has gotten fuller with every shift you take, you really can’t judge anything stocked here.
The later shifts are normally slower, especially this close to 11:00. Sometimes there’s a gaggle of sex workers outside of the door, dressed skimpily no matter how biting the rare Texas cold is, but that isn’t the case tonight – you’re the only one here, feet kicked up on a pink stool.
As if the world has it out for you, the rust-eaten bell lets out a metallic jingle, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the thought of having to put your Cosmopolitan away. Who the hell comes into a sex shop twenty minutes before close? Someone whose vibrator gave out on them, someone who needs lube, or both.
“Welcome to Condom Sense,” you put on your customer service voice, reluctantly bouncing off of the stool. You flip your magazine shut and toss it onto the counter, breaking into a crouch to finally make yourself useful by restocking the condom display. “Let me know if you need anything.”
A small grunt comes in response, and then some heavy footsteps carry through the store. Great, even better, you think to yourself, it’s a man.
The crowd that’s attracted to Condom Sense is mostly college-aged or middle-aged women, not with too much wiggle room in between. It’s Texas, after all, where ownership of more than six dildos is “prohibited”. Sometimes there’s a stray overeager boyfriend or creep with a receding hairline, but normally Sally is right around the corner to tell anyone out of line to scram, waving around a broom as if trying to fend off a stray dog. That’s not the case tonight.
You hold your breath and keep putting boxes of Trojans into the glass display case. Whoever’s in here is quiet, at least, not the type to ask for help or make too much of a ruckus with knocking shelving units over. Hopefully you can get him checked out quickly so you can close up and head home.
You stay like that for five minutes, sorting through boxes and marking stock until a throat clears in front of the counter.
Jolting up, you smooth out the wrinkles in your clothes, fiddling with your nametag. “Hi, yes, you all seeeee-”
Who the hell comes into a sex shop twenty minutes before close? Apparently Joel Miller does. You know, your dad’s best friend.
Maybe it’s because you’re surrounded by phallic dildos, maybe it’s because you’re goddamn stupid, but Mr. Miller, who seems to be fresh off of a worksite, looks good. Even though there’s an unmistakable surprise stricken across his brown eyes and a splotch of dirt on the slice of neck above his flannel collar, his hair is mussed perfectly, his scruff tamed along his jawline. Your eyes flash down to what he’s holding: a fleshlight.
You hate how quickly your mouth goes dry at the thought of Joel himself thrusting desperately into the dumb toy, and worse is the thought of him using your cunt to get off instead. You’re quick to remind yourself. Off. Limits. First of all, you don’t fuck customers. And you definitely don’t fuck customers that are your dad’s best friend.
Joel’s fist tightens around the box as if trying to obscure what you already know. His face is redder than you’ve ever seen it, cheeks like apples. In the end, it’s him who speaks first. “This ain’t a Walmart, hun.”
Your face heats up, and you shrug. “Pays well.”
“Can’t blame ya there,” he nods along. “‘S been a while. You alright?”
“I mean, I work at a store called Condom Sense. What do you figure?”
“C’mon now, can’t be that bad,” Joel grins at you.
“It isn’t,” you concede. You look him up and down again, trying really hard not to spend too much time on the toy in his hand. “Long day… contracting?”
Joel lets out a long, winded sigh through his teeth. “Yeah… my guys fucked up our concrete job. Had us there two hours longer than we were s’posed to be. Probably gonna be another long one tomorrow.” He runs a hand back through his already disheveled hair, his nose flaring. “Not your problem though, sweetness.” His eyes flick over you, over the counter and the neon signs behind you. “Your daddy know you work here?”
You freeze, eyes widening. “He’d have a cow, Joel. And if you think you’re about to hold this over my head or somethin-”
“Woah, woah, now when did I ever say any ‘a that? That’s none of my business, hun. You’re an adult, as long as you're gettin’ paid and you’re comfortable? I don’t see the issue.”
You nod, heart slowing to a steadier pace, or at least as steady of a pace as it can manage with Joel standing on the other side of the counter holding a fleshlight. “So, uh, relaxing night in or…?” You swallow hard. Professionalism, you remind yourself.
Joel laughs, an almost nervous sound as he rubs the back of his neck. “Just… a bit dry lately, I guess.”
“First time buying?” you ask with a raised brow.
“That obvious?” He slowly slides the box across the counter to you, and you inspect it under the fluorescents.
You hum under your breath, tilting the box away from you to get a better look. “Not a bad first choice. I’ve heard good things. Since it’s your first time, are you more of a spit-in-your-hand kind of guy, or do you have some massage oil or lube?”
Joel stares at you, almost sputtering as his lips try to form words. “What?”
You shake your head, veins suddenly iced over. “Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t be asking-”
“No, no, not a problem, sweetheart. It’s your job. Just… don’t expect to be hearin’... that from you.” He chuckles, but it sounds strangled. “I… normally spit. ‘S faster.”
Joel, desperately shucking off his belt and pants, pulling his hardened cock out, spitting into his hand so he can wrap his fist around himself. That first groan of pleasure he lets out, hand moving up, down, up, down. He treasures his alone time so much that he has to be the type to savor it– but you can’t think that far. Your tongue darts out to swipe along your lower lip, and you swear Joel tracks the movement. Your chest is tied up in knots.
“Well, you’re gonna want a heating massage oil. Moves it along easier, feels realer, y’know?” You reach across the counter and pluck a blue bottle from the display. “This is our bestseller.” Mustering up the most casual smile you can give him without wincing, you tap your fingers along the countertop.
Joel looks between you and the bottle, gnawing nervously at the inside of his cheek. “Thanks, hun. That’ll be it, then.”
You ring him up, sinking the fleshlight, the oil, and a complimentary toy cleaner deep into a bag that says THANK YOU four times along the side. The printer buzzes as it spits out his receipt, and you hand it all to him. He gives you a nod, casual, simple. You could keep it that way, a tiny interaction isolated to the four walls of Condom Sense, but you feel the words knocking at the backs of your teeth.
You’re saying them before you can second guess them: “Enjoy yourself, Joel.”
He makes eye contact for what must be the first time that night, eyes murky with something that, if you were more gullible, could come across as want. “I will, sweetheart.” Joel nods, wrapping a large hand around the bag. You don’t watch him leave, but you do hear the ring of the doorbell as the door knocks shut. It’s not enough to distract yourself from thinking of what his moans sound like.
Joel sweats like a whore in church the next time your dad calls him. He practically is one when he thinks about what it’d be like to be inside of the divinity of your body, a rosary of sweat collecting on his neck. He’d say every prayer if it meant he got to keep thinking of you like that – feels realer, a spit-in-your-hand kind of guy, enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself.
It’s shameful, the way he thinks of you, the daughter of the man he considers his best friend. But he can’t make himself stop. Every time he pulls the fleshlight out of his drawer, you appear in his head. Sometimes you’re bent over the counter, whining as he rolls his hips into yours. Sometimes he rucks up those fucking skirts you wear to shove his face between your thighs, lets you soak his face as you pull his hair. Sometimes you’re riding him, moving how he shifts the fleshlight over his leaking cock.
Every time, regardless of what he imagines, he shakes himself loose in post-orgasm bliss, guilt chewing at his stomach. Every time he passes Condom Sense on the way to a job, he wonders if you’re working. What’s a respectable amount of time to stop in for a second sex toy purchase? Joel wouldn't know, and he doesn’t want to be selfish. Money doesn’t grow on trees, unlike his arousal. The fleshlight is already miles better than his own hand, and he worries what he might say if he sees you bouncing around, say, restocking dildos.
He manages to keep his self control. He doesn’t get on his knees and confess his sins to your dad on the phone, or when they run into each other at home depot. By some miracle, he doesn’t get any further than flicking his turn signal before immediately turning it off when he passes Condom Sense.
And then he has the dream.
It’s his day off, a Sunday, and he wakes up to his dick softening and his cum drying on his abdomen and all of the hair spattered there. There’s traces of the dream in reach, tugging on the harness he’d tied around your body to pull you back on his cock.
This time, he can’t shake himself loose.
He’s standing in Condom Sense by ten in the morning, running his hands down his sides and feeling oddly exposed, as if every camera or wandering employee can see the shame painted on his skin much like his cum had been. He hopes you’re not here; he’s not sure he can handle it, but he is sure of the arousal that would brim in his lower belly at the mere sight of you. It’s bad news – everything about this is bad news.
You’re bad for Joel, and you have been ever since he saw you for the first time after your college graduation, partying in your old man’s living room. Four shots deep and a feather boa around your neck, wearing a low-cut top as you scream-sung Dolly Parton into the busted karaoke machine from your childhood. That was the first time he ever saw you as anything more than your dad’s little girl. It should’ve been the last, too.
Joel takes a relieved breath when there’s no immediate sign of you in the store, but you very well could be squatting behind the counter like last time. There's a woman in a pink polo shirt with bangle bracelets standing over by the wall of ropes, reorganizing and sucking on her teeth.
He doesn’t even know what he’s here for – he’s chasing something he can’t have, or at least a semblance of it. The obvious choice is the restraints from his dream, but he has nobody to put them on, no skin to feather with kisses as he pulls them secure. Another fleshlight would be greedy.
And then he hears it. The unmistakable sound of your voice, a shockwave to his chest. He slips behind a display, almost ready to make a beeline for the door when you say, “We restocked the wands.” Joel glimpses you through the grid of butt plugs he’s hiding behind, where you’re waving around a rectangular white box. “You were asking for recommendations, right? Well, this one’s a trooper.”
“That so?” your co-worker clicks. “Might be too intense for me. You’re known to be an overachiever.”
“No shame in a little overstimulation,” you shrug.
Joel slams a fist on his chest to stop himself from hacking out a surprised cough. His thighs go hot, a warmth that spreads between them and tightens his pants as he thinks about you with a wand to your glossy clit, hips squirming for more and less all the same.
“Yeah, for you. I’d be bawlin’ into my pillow in two minutes.”
“It’s my favorite! Only just gave out on me yesterday… had her for years, though. My old faithful. Have to say, it’s a little rough waiting for my next paycheck. Nothing else does it for me. Feels fucking incredible.”
Joel walks out. Not because he wants to, but because if he doesn’t, he won’t be able to stop himself from spending almost a hundred dollars on that wand and handing it to you in broad daylight. It occurs to him on the uncomfortable drive home, hard and throbbing between his legs, that he wants to be the source of your pleasure, to make you feel good.
It’s a damning thought for a man like him, but not damning enough.
Pent up is one way to describe the way you’re feeling.
After the unfortunate passing of your trustworthy wand, your fingers nor the rest of your collection of comparably wimpy toys, have been able to do the trick for you. And the worst part of it all? Your paycheck is still three days away.
You’d like to say not getting off in four days is the source of all of your arousal, but you’re not a liar. At least, not to yourself, because you wouldn’t stand at the podium and confess your nastiest Joel-centered fantasies to his face. It’d been bearable when it was only him fucking the fleshlight taped to the backs of your eyelids. You blame it on the pervy part of yourself that’s always rubbed her thighs together from watching a man get himself off. It’s no longer bearable when you start envisioning him moaning your name while he rocks his hips into the toy, chasing his release.
No, it’s not bearable at all.
Sitting behind the same counter you’d checked him out at makes it worse, roughly the same hour of the night that he’d popped in the other day. You keep thinking of how he looked at you, first caught like a deer in headlights, then almost shy, a word you’d never once use to describe the man you’d come to know as your dad’s best friend.
An even more pervy part of yourself, the same one that hopes he thinks of fucking you when he fucks his recent purchase, slowly rolls her hips into the stool. It’s imperceptible, not something that has a chance of being picked up by the camera. You grind your clothed, needy pussy onto the pink vinyl cover, smothering a whimper into your fist. The seam of your shorts catches on your clit, snuggled between your folds. Your arousal clings to the gusset of your drenched panties. Pleasure spools in your stomach, winding around your cunt and spine.
You curl in on yourself, burying your head into your folded arms and panting as you grind on the stool. You let yourself pretend it’s Joel’s lap; the mound-like shape of the foam beneath isn’t at all close to what Joel’s bulge must feel like, but with every press of your hips, it matters less and less.
The taboo of it all, knowing you’ll have to go into the security system and delete the footage once you’re done soaking the vinyl, being in view of the unlocked door, is doing just as much for you as your vibrator back home would. So much so that with your head tipped low, your eyes squeezed shut, and your hips canting back and forth, you don’t even notice the rusted rasp of the bell above the door.
You don’t notice a damn thing until a strangled sound comes from the front of the store.
Your head snaps up so fast that you go toppling off of the back of the chair, just barely able to catch and prop yourself up on a shelf behind the counter. An embarrassed cough knocks its way out of your gut. Too taboo. You’re still panting when you’re stricken by a passing thought: you’re definitely going to lose your job, the last one this part of Austin seemed to have to offer. Shit.
Your dignity on the other hand is long gone, somewhere in the smear of arousal you left on the stool. “Sorry – fuck! I’m sorry,” you blurt out in a last-ditch effort to keep your job, fingers crossed that it’s someone who understands or at least doesn’t care.
When you look up, you get none of that. For the second time this week, you get Joel Miller. Joel Miller with his messed up hair and work-worn hands, slack jaw and rapid blinking.
You must be matching his expression now, mouth opening and closing with your eyes widened in the ultimate form of disbelief. Your head bows and your chin meets your chest. Apparently it wasn’t enough for your dad’s best friend to buy a fleshlight from you. He also had to find you getting off in public.
“Joel, shit, I’m so sorry,” you start, planting the heels of your palms on your temples. Your legs feel weak, a death sentence with your sluggish, blistering heartbeat. Joel’s silence bears down on you, an inescapable weight, and you’re talking before you can stop yourself. “I– I’ve just been so pent up…” Cheeks burning from the inside out, you scrub your hands from your forehead to your chin.
“Shut up,” Joel says stiffly. A wince cleaves its way out of your body.
Another apology sits on your tongue. “I’m s-”
He cuts in, “Knock it off,” and that’s when your eyes drift lower. Below his belt buckle, but not much further. How could you look any lower when his cock is rock fucking hard in his jeans, fighting against the denim? You whimper, unable to stop yourself from rubbing your thighs together. “Jesus, are you in fuckin’ heat?” Joel snaps.
It doesn’t achieve the desired effect – you just let out another whimper, your arousal still clinging to your thighs. “Joel, please.”
Joel pinches his nose bridge. He shakes his head, dissolving into a muttered swear under his breath. “No, hun. Not gonna end up balls deep in my buddy’s little girl, even if you beg real pretty for me.”
“Why not,” you practically whine, pushing off of the shelf and walking closer to him. He only folds his arms over his broad chest as if to keep you away.
His voice is strained. “Baby–” Your heart flutters. “Can’t do that to your dad. You’re just houndin’ after a poundin’, ain’t ya?”
“I am,” you huff, brain clouded by the arousal that’s currently casting a shadow through all of your being. “Please, I haven’t come in days.”
Joel hisses at that like he’s in pain. He shakes his head again, much faster. There’s a line of remorse pressed between his brows, but it’s far overpowered by the pressure of his cock pulling his jeans taut. “Your little ‘massager’ quit on you, sweetheart?”
You bite your lip. Right on the money. “How’d you know?”
“Came in for… somethin’... the other day. Heard you fussin’ about it to your co-worker.” He shrugs.
You’re burning up, a match struck against the gritty concrete of Joel’s voice. It doesn’t matter that he’s a customer, doesn’t even matter that he’s buddies with your dad. You just want him to replace your aimlessly working fingers at night. You want release, and you want it with him. Begging won’t get you there with Joel, you’re realizing, even if all you want is to get on your knees and cry for his cock. You need to rile him up until he breaks. “Needed another pocket pussy to put your dick in?” you tease.
“Watch yourself,” Joel says. “You really that cock starved, darlin’, that you’d beg your daddy’s friend to stick it to ya?”
“You’re one to talk,” you smirk. “What is it you said? A bit dry lately, right?”
“I clearly got more self control than you, hun.”
You say, “Nah.” Your smirk widens, and you take another dangerous step towards him. “You’re hard as a rock, Joel Miller. Bet you were thinking about sticking it to me all along. That’s why you came back, huh? Get another glimpse of me for your spank ban-”
Joel seals the distance between you two, fist going to curl up around your jaw and squeezing. Your mouth pops open, a choked whimper dislodging from your lips. “You got batteries behind that register?” He asks, voice stern. His eyes are all pupil, plunged into black. You struggle to nod in his grasp. “Grab ‘em.”
He leaves you standing in front of the door, buzzing with nervous energy as he walks towards the vibrator section. Your stomach does what feels like ten cartwheels in a row. You lean over to the door, flipping the sign to closed and drawing the curtain shut before practically jogging to the batteries.
You grab the type your beloved wand takes, not even concerned with cashing him out before he’s in front of you again, slicing into the box with his truck keys. You slide the batteries over, and he’s peeling apart the plastic to expose your favorite pink wand, armed with six different settings that never fail to make you come. You only notice you’re rubbing your thighs together again when he gives you a sharp look while he’s popping the batteries into the proper compartment.
He pats the counter. “Up.” You hop up, maybe too eager, your eyes big and needy. Joel grabs you by the shoulder and leans you back, starting to work on the button of your jeans. “This is how this is gonna go,” he says, voice hardened with an order. “You want me to stop, say so. I’m gonna put this wand on your achy little clit, gonna make you feel better, because you ain’t slutty enough to be humpin’ a chair.” You nod so fast that you’re surprised your head doesn’t fall off. “Not gonna give you my cock, got it?”
“G-got it,” you get out shakily. He taps your hip, and you arch off of the counter so that he can yank your jeans and panties down, leaving you spread out and exposed.
Joel spreads you with his pointer and middle finger. “Shoot, baby, you poor thing.” He runs a thumb through your seam, thumb coming up sticky with your wetness. “Drippin’ like a faucet.” He brings his thumb up to the corner of your lips, and you greedily take it into your mouth, tasting your musk off of his callouses.
“That’s it, suck it like a good slut,” he coaxes as you run your tongue along his skin. He pulls away with a pop and weighs the wand in his hand. Flicking one of the buttons with his freshly-sucked thumb, the toy whirrs to life and thrums in his large hand.
You squirm below him and his intense gaze, gripping the edge of the counter for any semblance of purchase you can get. Without warning, he places the toy down onto your clit. Your vision crackles black at the edges as you cry out. You writhe underneath him, hips helplessly bucking. Joel laughs, the bastard that he is, and rolls it along your sensitive nub. It moves freely with the help of your wetness, and even on the lowest setting, it’s more than you thought it would be.
It helps that Joel’s the one using it on you, knowing just went to add extra pressure and lift up, and it also helps that you’ve been untouched by even yourself for the majority of the last week. You push your palms down on the counter and desperately grind your hips against the wand’s head. Your head lolls back, the neon signs on the wall behind you shining on your sweat-slick skin.
Joel flicks between two of the settings, a constant push and pull between low and a little higher, the sort of sensation that has your stomach stirring. “That feel good, hun? Better than rubbin’ this needy pussy on that stool, I bet.” You let out a pitchy sound of half-disagreement, half-pleasure in response, managing to push yourself up on shaking elbows to get a good look at him. He’s still hard, if not more than he’d already been, rolling the wand in easy motions against you. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. Not a bad thing that you only think with your cunt. ‘S cute,” he coos at you. His words make you gush.
“M-more,” you rasp, hips stuttering. You crave more, more of him, even though he’s already denied you that much. There’s a supernova of need flaring inside of you, enough to crack your lips into a ragged moan. Your cunt tightens, squeezing out more of your arousal. You crave him inside of you, buried deep and rolling his hips into you. “Joel, I need – need your cock.”
He turns it up, notches it to a faster pace that engraves pleasure onto your swollen clit. “No you fuckin’ don’t. Quit your mealy mouthin’ and take what I give you. You were ‘bout to spray your whore cum all over that chair, this should be more than enough.” Joel punctuates his sentences with hard jabs of the wand against you, drawing pathetic moans from your chest.
“J-J-Joel! Fuck!”
“J-J-Joel,” he mocks above you, shaking his head. His dark hair flops around with the movements and his tongue sneaks out to lick his lips while he watches you quiver below. “Yeah, you’re in heat alright.” Joel’s hand goes to the hem of your shirt and yanks it up, and your trembling hands help him lower the cups of your bra so he can grab and knead your tits.
His thumb circles your nipple when he turns it up to the highest setting, the one that makes your clit go numb and your back arch. You hardly have time to choke out, “Cl-close!” before Joel rubs the wand just right.
As your orgasm soars through you, you can hear him saying Attagirl, give it to me, so pretty when you come through the veil of your hearing’s fuzziness. You whimper, still rolling your hips as your fingers clamp around his over your tit, and he rubs circles into your palm while you ride it out. “That’s it,” he says when you come down fully, starting to shiver away from the pressure of the vibrator. He lowers it until it stalls in his hand and sets it down on the packaging.
“Good?” he asks, reaching up to stroke your cheek.
“Good,” you nod with a tiny little sigh.
You manage to haul yourself up fully onto your elbows, thighs still trembling. When you look him up and down, you notice two things: there’s the tiny etching of guilt in his eyes, but his cock is definitely still hard. Joel breathes out your name when you reach for him, cupping his sizable bulge through his pants. He hisses. “Can’t be doin’ that, baby.”
“Why?” you ask, lips contorted into a pout. “Because you’re scared you’ll bend me over and fuck me?” You feel his cock twitch under your hand. His resolve is breaking, and you’re loving it. “Just the tip, Joel.”
He winces from your words, but he looks at you, right down to your still-dripping cunt where your release trickles down your inner thighs and your seam. When you spread yourself out for him like he had done and run your finger tip along your opening, that seems to be the last straw. Joel curses under his breath and g0es to make quick work of undoing his belt with one hand, his other still holding yours. “Ju– just the tip,” he reiterates, voice stony.
Joel pulls himself free, groaning when his cock springs up. A noise of surprise catches in your throat when you see him in full. He’s even bigger than he looked in his jeans – which you had no idea was possible. “Don’t worry, darlin’. Just gonna give you the tip, remember?”
“Yeah,” you exhale on a shaky breath.
Despite his insistence, he still reaches out for the condom display next to you, already popping a box open. You grab his wrist urgently, shaking your head. “Don’t need one. Want – want you like this.”
“We shouldn’t,” he says, still holding the box. “I mean, hun, this joint is literally called Condom Sense. Oughta have some, shouldn’t we?”
“Don’t care.” You gather some of your cum on your fingertips, wrapping them around his head so you can brush over his slit. His hips jump, a dead giveaway to what his answer will be.
He grunts, tossing the box somewhere off to the side. “You protected? Clean?” You nod, victorious. “Alright,” Joel sighs. Apparently coming all over his fleshlight isn’t enough, because Joel bends over the counter and dips his head to press his lips against your clit, kissing before he sucks gently on it. You yelp, but quickly feel that heat returning and sparking in your core. He licks at your entrance, swirling his tongue around. “Taste fuckin’ delicious, baby.” You have a feeling he isn’t prepping you for the tip anymore, even more so when he pulls back to feed your cunt two of his fingers.
You whine, desperately rolling your hips down against his thick fingers, fucking yourself down on him as he opens you up properly. He curls his fingers, rubbing that spongy spot inside of you. Your stomach twitches. “That it?”
“Mhm,” you whine, and he starts thrusting his fingers in and out of you, always sure to brush your g-spot. The heel of his palm slaps against your clit and you whine, looking at where his fingers fuck into you. It’s an obscene view, his knuckles drenched in your juices while you clench down around him.
“Good girl,” he sighs when he finally pulls his fingers from you. He gets a good grip on his cock, rubbing the head through your slippery, sensitive folds. He coats it in your arousal before notching it at your opening. When he pushes in, he stays true to his word so far, but the tip is enough to make the room spin all over again. You squeeze down on him and he groans a rough, “Fuck. So goddamn tight.”
His words make you clench again, and his head tips to meet your shoulder blade, body poised at an awkward angle while he fights to stay at least partially outside of you. “Didn’t expect you to feel this fuckin’ good, sweetheart. So fuckin’... good.” He gives you shallow thrusts with the tip, just barely enough to slip in and out of you. His teeth sink into your shoulder as if trying to keep himself quiet, trying to steel himself into remembering who he’s on top of and who he just made come.
“Joel,” you whine, carding a hand through his hair and tugging lightly until he brings his eyes on you. “Fuck me.”
For once that night, it’s enough. With his eyes on you, he eases into you, groaning with every inch he gives you until he’s bottomed out in your cunt. With all of Joel’s prepping, there’s no pain, only the fullness of what it’s like to throb around him, to leak down his cock. Your fist tightens in his hair when he pulls out of you only to slam back into you. You look down where his body almost covers yours, and through your silhouettes, you can see the stretch of your arousal sticking to his happy trail, stretching between your skin. The room does spin, now, a blur of pink and pleasure.
Joel says, nipping at your ear, “This what you wanted? Wanted me to stretch you out, make you take my cock like the whore you are?” He rolls his hips into yours and effortlessly finds your g-spot like before. Your legs scramble for purchase, wrapping around his waist and pulling him flush against you. His happy trail, spattered with your arousal, rubs against your clit. You grind your hips down, dig your nails into his biceps, desperate to meet his thrusts. When you don’t respond, he pinches your nipple, and your legs wind even tighter around him in surprise.
“Yes! Wanted it – wanted it when you first walked in, fuck,” you whine.
Joel smirks into the place between your shoulder and neck, kissing up the expanse of your skin. “Horny little girl. Bet you went home so excited to put that wand on your pretty clit, only to find out it quit on ya.” You can only moan, boneless and foggy underneath him as he rocks his hips into you. “Fucked my fleshlight thinkin’ of you, but I bet you already knew that, didn’t you? Wanted to bounce you on my cock so bad. Fuckin’ choking me like I knew you would.”
“Fuck me like you fucked it, then,” you say in a rush, your whimpers still poking through your sentences. “H-hard, Joel, want it rough.”
Joel grunts, twitching inside of you from your request. “Shit, can’t say no to ya. Gotta have… gotta have a goddamn death wish or somethin’, baby.” With that, he finds a punishing, ravenous pace, the filthy noises of his body slapping against yours filling the store from wall to wall. He grins. “But you like it, dirty girl. Can feel ya gettin’ close. C’mon, gimme another, baby.”
You come with a cry, soaking his cock, eyes watering from relief while you grip him. Warmth seeps into your bones and turns your brain to mush, electric from dopamine. You go limp on the ledge while he continues fucking into you, voice filling your ears, “That’s it, that’s my girl, fuuuuck, way better than that fleshlight. Shoulda bent you over the counter and fucked you that first night.” You moan at the thought, pussy still clenching his cock.
You’re too busy coming to notice him reaching to the side, retrieving the long-forgotten wand. You could scream when he touches it to your clit again on the medium setting, and then your thighs are shaking around him even stronger and you’re coming for the third time that night, launched from one orgasm straight into another with Joel hovering over you, still fucking into you. “Fuck, again?” he asks, voice layered with disbelief. “Such a messy pussy, baby. Drippin’ down my thighs. Gonna make it even messier, pump you full ‘a my cum, sweet girl.”
Your vision whites, palms slapping on the counter before he wraps his hand back in yours like before to ground you. You squeeze his hand and moan in response. He turns the vibrator back to low and keeps rolling his hips into you. “Close, baby, gonna shoot this load up your pretty pussy.” Joel’s forehead drops to the counter, still mouthing at your neck when you feel him jerk inside of you. You feel the warmth of his cum spill into you while you still flutter around him, his debauched moans filling your ear as he empties himself into your cunt.
Both of you are breathing heavily by the time he pulls away from you, you laying down on the counter and staring at the ceiling tiles. They’re unfocused and blurry in your post-orgasmic bliss. You blink yourself back to reality, giving him a look with your hooded, tired eyes. His chest rises and falls, mouth and softening cock smeared with your cum. He’s looking at you with the same eyes you’re giving him, something crossed between incredulity and shamelessness.
Joel fishes around in his back pocket before finding a red flannel handkerchief, which he’s careful to dab at your inner legs. You’re both silent until he separates from you with a peck to your forehead. “Did good for me. You’re, uh… really somethin’, sweetheart.”
You grin at him. “That mean this is gonna happen again?” You ask as he tucks himself away and buckles his belt. You stuff your tits back in your bra, pulling down your shirt and securing your pants and shoes from where they’d long fallen into piles on the floor.
“Don’t jump the gun, baby.” He rubs the back of his neck and licks his lips. “But I ain’t rulin’ it out.”
A cocky smirk tugs at your lips, and you hop fully off of the counter, tugging your jeans up your waist. Joel taps the vibrator box when you’re all done. “Cash me out?” he asks, stuffing the handkerchief back in his pocket and grabbing his wallet instead.
You nod, scanning the damaged vibrator box and batteries and reading off his total. You bag up the soaked vibrator, the on-the-house toy cleaner, and the rest of the batteries he’d bought. “Here you go,” you say, holding it out for him.
“Nah, hun. That’s for you. What use am I gonna get out of a vibrator unless it’s makin’ you come?” He pats the back of your hand and slides the bag across to you again.
You stare at him, fighting not to let your jaw loosen. “Joel… that’s a lot of money.”
“And you deserve to come as much as you want, got it, pretty girl?” He smiles at you with a shrug as if he hadn’t just wrung three out of you within an hour. “Besides, you have my number. You know who to ask if you ever need someone to talk you through it.”
You choke, nodding dumbly at his proposition. So definitely not ruled out.
“Thank you,” you say, bringing yourself to match his smile.
He gives your hand a squeeze and says, “See you later, sweetheart,” before heading out.
And sure, this entire thing is a tornado that could toss up your life like a trailer park, but for Joel? You’d let it happen.
#vetty's words 𓇢𓆸#joel miller smut#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller/reader#joel miller/f! reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfic
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I desperately need help. I'm a queer disabled single parent taking care of an autistic 10-year-old and my elderly mother on a disability income. My mom lost her job and is dealing with depression, so I'm the main person taking care of everything right now.
My tags expired and my car won't pass inspection. I haven't been able to get this taken care of on time because I've already paid over $1300 on car issues since December and my car was in the shop for a bit. I have over $1200 in repairs to go + even more expenses before I can get my car legal.
The cops in my city are now automatically towing anyone whose tags are over 30 days expired. I also don't have valid insurance at the moment. So if I get pulled over, I'll be in DEEP SHIT.
I still have to take care of my family. We can't go without transportation. We have weekly appointments. I need to be able to get our prescriptions, food, and other necessities. I volunteer at an animal shelter. My kid is about to start an after-school program and won't be able to ride the bus home. So I have no choice but to take the risk and continue to drive.
THIS IS WHY I NEED HELP ASAP. If I don't take care of this now, it could cost me much, much more later.
This is how much it will cost to get my car to pass inspection:



It comes out to $1,221.28. I also have to pay $200 over a legal issue from 2019 + around $300 owed to insurance before I can get my tags renewed.
I need around $1700 total.
Please, please help me. That's more than I make in an entire month.
CA: niceworkbonedaddy
PP: yanidork
VM: nicework_bonedaddy
I'll be updating the progress in the replies!
More information about the situation under the cut:
Walmart did my tires back in December. They ruined the lugnuts and my tire nearly fell off while I was driving on the highway. Their insurance department is refusing to pay for the damage because the auto shop gave them incorrect information – they claimed I had driven 50,000 miles in 3 months, amongst other things.



[My car being towed after the tire nearly falling off, a screenshot from a video the auto shop took of them proving walmart didn't do their job, and the bill for that work]
Thankfully the auto shop that fixed their mistakes let me get my car back out of the shop for a little under $700, but I'm still working with Walmart to get this paid for. If by some miracle I can get them to cooperate and pay, I will only need around $200 instead of $1700.
I got my car inspected on 3/31 by the auto shop who gave me the information in the screenshots for the total cost of repairs.


Oh, and just to add insult to injury, my computer shit out.

Can't afford to fix that either, but whatever. I'll figure that out later.
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Hello! Ive been binging poly!141 and I keep coming back to your writing for my fix (because by now its basically an addiction😅)
I had this idea that the 141 are together with a civilian reader. And civilian reader works in retail, part time, and is mostly at home. Normally, they would be home by the time their boys came home, welcoming them with open arms, a hot plate of food, and time to rest and relax. But this time, the 141 get home early and realize where reader works: Walmart (or equivalent). Reader has been keeping this a secret cause they know its not cute like a coffee shop or cool. Its just their job. And now the most important men in their life know. Im thinking the 141 found out because they went grocery shopping and happened to come across reader or something similar to that.
I work at Walmart and it sucks🥲 thought that maybe something like this might help😅
Tysm, nonny! So happy to hear you like the writing. I hope this does your idea justice. (Walmart doesn't have stores in the UK, but they own ASDA.)
Also, thank you for my first request! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
pure fluff, bad accents (per usual)
Your boys find out you work part-time at ASDA on a random rainy Thursday in March.
You don't really need a job. All four of your lovers are officers with the British army. Prior to you, they all lived in base barracks. Prior to you, they lived fairly Spartan existences. Prior to you, most of their income sat in the bank, quietly accumulating.
They have plenty of money saved up that they love using to spoil you, when you let them. You know that if you asked, they'd give you everything, but you draw the line about asking them for an allowance like some tradwife. You want some pocket money of your own. Thus, the part-time job at the ASDA in town.
You're a people person, good at handling big personalities. You need to be to keep up with your boys. Between John's need for control, Simon's stoic dominance, Johnny's aggressive enthusiasm, and Kyle's blinding charisma, you aren't some shrinking violet. Within a week of your hire, your manager watches how you weather a nasty piece of work trying to demand concessions you aren't permitted to give and immediately puts you in customer service.
You're nearly unflappable in the face of frustrated pensioners and harried parents and entitled young professionals. Over and over, you're the one they call when a customer is going spare. Which is how your boys find out about your job.
They've been deployed for over two weeks, and you have no idea when they'll return. John had originally said they'd be gone for at least a month, so you aren't expecting them home any time soon. However, they'd come home much earlier than anyone thought, and they wanted to surprise you.
You're always so good about making the house feel like a home, with your bright smile and warm laughter, your home cooked food and soft touches in decor. You make them feel like people, not weapons, and they want to return the favor. This last deployment had been hard, and all four of your boys were missing your sweet voice and tender care. They wanted to show you that they loved and cared for you the way you always showed your love and care for them.
It was Johnny's suggestion to prep a meal for you as both a surprise and a thank you. After debrief, they pile into the car and decide to stop at ASDA for everything they need before heading home to surprise you. It's John who causes the code call.
You hear Susan's voice over the store-wide address system. "We could use a little Sunshine in the floral department." That's your cue. You finish with the pensioner at your till as Jacob, your manager, comes over to relieve you.
You take a deep breath and square your shoulders. In your experience, a Sunshine call in floral is a man angry the store doesn't have the fancy arrangements listed on the website. You wish the signage on the site would be more clear that the beautiful bouquets are online orders only. It would save you having to explain why the offers in store are so limited.
You hear him before you see him, smokey voice grumbling, "But if they show the bloody thing on the site as available, you should have it hear." You'd recognize the voice anywhere. He's not angry, not really, but Susan doesn't know that. Add in the sheer size of him, and Simon looming over his shoulder, it's no wonder she called for support.
You have never wanted to walk away from a situation as much as you want to right now, but before you can make an escape, Susan notices you over John's shoulder. Her little wave is enough for your men to notice, and they turn as one to see you coming towards them. Immediately their demeanor shifts. Simon's back sags as though his strings were cut, leaving him loose-limbed. John stands a little straighter, chin up as if to impress you. They've both broken out in smiles, though Simon's are only evidenced by the laugh lines you know to look for. It's only as you get close do they zero in on the badge on your shirt.
"I've got this, Susan," you say to your co-worker. "Jacob's on my till. Can you cover?"
Susan wrings her hands. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay and-"
"They're nothing I can't handle," you tell her, cutting off her worried rambles. There's a cheeky glint in your eye as you flick your gaze at your men. You clap your hands together and say, "Right, let's get this settled, then."
Susan takes one quick look between you and the now slightly less intimidating men and heads towards the front of the store.
Once she's out of earshot, John's face breaks into a frown. "What're you doing here, love?" He glances at your name on your chest again. "You work here?" He sounds almost hurt by the revelation. You can tell Simon wants to reach for you, and the only thing stopping him is you working.
You hear heavy footfalls behind you as Johnny's Scottish lilt reaches your ears. "Och, Cap! Ye said ye'd only be a moment. Gaz and I had a hell of a time getting the trolley on its lift ta find ye. How hard is it to buy bon..." His question dies on his lips as you turn around. "Bonnie?" He, too, sounds hurt to find you working here.
You can see Kyle over Johnny's shoulder, confusion written across his features. This is not how you wanted your boys to find out about your job, if you ever wanted them to actually find out. You thought maybe you'd surprise them with tickets to Hereford FC's opening game in a few months. And if they asked how you afforded them, you could handle this conversation then, but it's out of your hands now.
And as much as you don't want to have this conversation, especially not in the middle of the floral department, you can't stop the wide grin at seeing your boys again, home and whole.
"Hi, boys," you say, opening your arms. Disappointed he might be about finding you here, Johnny's no fool. He immediately steps into your embrace, and the others quickly follow suit. You're swallowed up by the smell and feel of them. The hug lasts one minute. Then two. Then they all slowly step back.
You can see the questions and cut them off before they get started. "I have another three hours before I'm off. We can talk at home, and I'll tell you anything you want to know."
John nods first. He recognizes your tone. You won't let them derail you for answers now, and they would be wasting their breath to try. "You heard the lady, lads. Let's get home."
They start to walk away when you tease, "Captain? Was there a reason you were arguing with Susan about the flowers?"
He halts his steps and turns to you, flush creeping up his neck. He brings his hand up to rub it as he says, "Er, I, we, wanted to get ya something nice, but they don't have the same ones as online."
You melt a little, watching the way your men shift nervously behind their captain. You smile softly and reach over, plucking a bouquet of rainbow poms from the rack. "These are what I usually get for myself when you're away."
John takes them gently from your hand and passes them to Gaz to put in the trolley. "We'll see you at home, love," he murmurs, leaning over briefly to kiss your cheek. Simon kisses the top of your head, fabric brushing your hair. Johnny pulls you in for another bruising hug and kisses your other cheek. Gaz puts his hands on your waist, drinking in the sight of you, before taking your hands in his and kissing your palms.
You watch them leave, wondering how you'll make it through the rest of your shift.
Three hours and fifteen minutes later, you cross the threshold of your shared home to the most delicious scents wafting from the kitchen. After slipping your shoes off next to the piles of boots at the door, you follow your nose back to the kitchen and the spread laid out on the large wood-topped island. There's a roast and mushy peas and mashed potatoes and stewed carrots and battered cod and crisps and spinach all surrounding the flowers you'd suggested, nestled in the vase you love most, the Caithness one Johnny'd bought you on your first trip with them to Scotland.
At the table, your men sit, plates made for everyone, waiting on you. They've changed since you saw them. Gone are any traces of fatigues and tactical gear. Instead they're all in casual civvies, truly home for the first time in nearly three weeks. Simon stands as you come in and pulls out your chair, smile on his scarred lips. "Come sit, doll," he tells you, not quite an order.
You look quickly around. "Let me change," you say, tugging at your uniform top. "I won't be but a minute." You back out of the room before they can stop you. You hurry to your bedroom, pulling your top off as you go. Once behind the door, you slip from your trousers into comfortable leggings and a large jumper, one of Kyle's you think.
By the time you make it back to the kitchen, your men are more than a little antsy. Simon's smile is a little strained, Johnny is fidgeting, Kyle keeps glancing between you and John, and John is staring at you. Your chair is still out. He waves a hand at it, and gently says, "Come sit, love." It's couched as request, but you know a command from your lover when you hear it.
You take your seat at the table. "Listen-" you start, but John cuts you off.
"Are we not providing for ya, love?" You see the hurt in his eyes, how much it bothers him to think he, they, aren't doing enough for you.
"Oh, John, dear, no!" you reply, putting your hand over his on the table. "It's not that at all."
"Then what?" Simon asks.
You look at them all, the expectant faces waiting to hear how they failed you. "I get restless sometimes. I love you, and I love our life. I'm happy to take care of the house and make sure you're all fed after a long day. But I wasn't built for sitting around doing nothing. I like people; being home on my own all day can get lonely. Especially when you're deployed. I also like having my own pocket money."
John opens his mouth, and you know what he's about to say, so you continue. "I know you'd give me any money I need or want, but I like having my money. Money I earned myself." You look around at them, willing them to understand. "It's only part time. Helps me keep a little busy and have a little extra to spoil you and me with."
Johnny is frowning, but you see Kyle, head cocked, looking at you as a puzzle. "I think I understand," he says softly. "You were making you way just fine before us, and you gave up everything for us."
At his words, the crease between John's brow deepens, and you're sure he's remembering the job you had, that you'd somewhat enjoyed, when you'd first met them. You'd been working at RAF Lakenheath, living in a cozy flat in Cambridge, near The Backs, when the 141 had been coming through the base after an op. An injury had put Kyle in the med center for a week, and while he could have been transported to Hereford once stable, Laswell had worked it out for the whole team to have some R&R near the base.
You'd quite literally run into John one day, rushing to your office, after which he suggested lunch as an apology. You quickly became close with all four, smitten with them from the start. In turn, they fell hard for you. They wooed you over the course of several weeks, stopping through Lakenheath on deployments to spend some time with you. Six months in and you were completely gone on all four of them, so when they'd asked you to move to Hereford, you did without ever looking back. But it meant giving up the life you'd led.
Somewhere along the way, your happiness overshadowed all you'd left behind. After a few weeks, being home alone while your men worked started to feel isolating. You liked being a little busy, and there weren't enough projects around the house to keep you busy enough. You'd always been independent, but you didn't want to be stuck in a job with long hours anymore. You wanted to be home for your men. So you'd found the job at ASDA.
Kyle reaches over to where you hand is still on John's. "I'm sorry we didn't ask how you were coping us being gone all day," he says. He looks you in the eye as he continues. "I understand wanting to do something, wanting to be a little busy, and if this makes you happy, then I'm all for it, doll." He gives you a small smile and squeezes your and John's hand.
"Gaz is right," Simon rumbles. "We were so happy to have you here we didn't think about what you did all alone all day." He puts a heavy hand on your thigh, the warmth of him seeping through your thin leggings. "'m glad you have something to keep you from getting lonely."
"Sorry, hen," Johnny murmurs, just above a whisper. "We didnae think a' ye enough." You smile widely at him.
"Johnny, you think of me all the time. This isn't about neglect at all!" You try to catch his eye, but he's looking hard at the table in front of him. "You did nothing wrong, love," you tell him gently.
He looks at you, blue eyes bright. "Ye sure?" You've never seen him this nervous before, and you break a little.
"I'm sure love."
He smiles then, a little smile, but it brightens his face and shifts the mood in the room. You look at John who's been surprisingly quiet this whole time.
He's smiling, but it's a little sad. "I know ya said we didn't do anything wrong, but we feel like we did. We didn't notice you were bored, didn't ask if you were lonely." He flips his hand over under yours and threads your fingers with his. "Yer giving us a gift by not blaming us, and we'd be stupid not to take it, even though it feels like yer giving us an out. Thank you." He brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly.
"Thank you. I was worried you'd be mad," you admit.
"Never could make us mad with something like this, hen," Johnny reassures you. "I'm sorry we had to spoil your day is all."
You turn back to look at the food on the island. "You didn't spoil my day. You made it. You're home early, and you made such a lovely spread. I think we should tuck in, yeah?"
Simon chuckles. "Point made, doll," he says, scooping a heaping helping of mash onto his fork. The rest take it as a sign to start eating too.
The room is silent save for the sounds of food savored until John pipes up, "Why'd ya come to florals, love? We might have missed ya altogether if not for that."
You giggle. "The sunshine call, John."
"Yeah?" He clearly doesn't understand.
"It's the shop call for a difficult customer. When I'm on shift, it's my job to handle those." You look at each of your lovers in turn. "Seems I've got a knack for dealing with muppets," you tell them with a smirk.
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#nerdygirl answers#cod#poly!141#poly!141 x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#kyle garrick#johnny mactavish#john price#simon riley#nerdygirl says
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