#Humor with Heart

[landsccape]

[wickedzeevyln]

Unnecessary Dark of Being

Compound resentment is not a retirement plan. If the steering wheel had a neck, it would be looking at me as I choke it to its demise. Gak-gak-gak. Throaty gasps gurgling. My gaze locked on its googly eyes as light leaves them. Har! Har! Har! Stereotypical bad guy. Still gripping it like it owes me lunch money. The sun hasn’t even finished climbing the shady lurker resting in the east—still…

[catchymemes]

[bebx]

no I’m literally so fuckable if you ignore the mental illnesses, the homicidal urges, the violence, the tragic past, the pain, the fear, the trauma and the grotesqueness actually

[jestersjitters]

Me dieron esas vibras jajs

Extrañaba hacer curis de One Piece

Patreon

[dumblr]

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 140

"What?" Geralt asks, frowning, a furrow in his brow. "I turn into a wolf every full moon." Jaskier repeats. "How-" "You were always away on a hunt. You'd just meet me back in the morning." "...You were a werewolf this whole time?" "..Yes. I- I'm sorry, Darling. I never wanted to lie." "Why didn't you trust me with this? Did you think I would hurt you?" "No! I thought I would hurt you. I'm not myself on full moons, Geralt. I can't even remember them. All I know is that the moon raises, i feel this ache in my bones, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning, nude, with a full stomach of what is HOPEFULLY nothing gross." "...You've not transformed in towns, have you?" "No! Of course not! I'm terrified of hurting someone, Geralt! That's the only reason I'm telling you now! I got the charts mixed up, I thought the moon was still a week away, but it isn't, and we're near a town, and I need you to keep me restrained." A long pause settles between them. "You want me to guard you?" "Guard them. From me. Keep me trapped in a shack and- And lock it up tight. Chain me, hurt me, knock me out, whatever you must do. Keep me from being a danger. I never wanted to be a terrifying beast, Geralt." Jaskier says, with those damned wet doe eyes of his. Geralt agrees. Because he doesn't know a world where he wouldn't. Mere hours later, Jaskier is sat against a beam in an old rundown barn. He's tied up with rope, and chained on top of that. There are no windows in the barn, the door is fully barricaded and locked, and Geralt guards it. "You really should guard it from outside" Jaskier had said. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone. You never should have had to." Geralt replied. Thus, Geralt stands and watches as Jaskier pales and starts twitching. The moon is rising. "It's coming- I'm going to be a beast." Jaskier says with fear, before the transformation takes the air out of his lungs. Geralt watches in horror and awe as Jaskier's body changes, changes, changes.... In... Into a songbird? sitting on the ground is a fat little songbird. It easily hops over the ropes and chains, now much too lose to hold it. Him. Oh my gods. Jaskier's not a werewolf. He's a... were.... werebird... And not even a scary one. Jaskier starts pecking the barn floor and Geralt rubs a hand over his face in exhaustion. He prepared for the worst, and instead is treated to watching Jaskier struggle to bathe in a trough. "Jaskier, it's too deep." He tells the bird, as it fluffs up it's wings. "Jaskier, you're going to-" Jaskier tries to take a step into the birdbath, only to fall, dunking his whole fat little body into the depths of the trough. He flails about in the water, chirping panickedly. Geralt rushes to his aid, gently lifting him out of the water with gentle hands. Perhaps guarding over Jaskier will still be a challenge after all.

[grapefruit185]

he loves those dumb twins sm, the found family aspect of this show makes me go crazy!!!!!!!

(1st pic is referencing this post lol)

[rjshope]

😳😳😳😳

for @cordiallyfuturedwight✨

[mobius-m-mobius]

Tom on more of Owen's s2 improv (x)

[arayeee]

GUYS. We get the Ex-Wife on April 10th.

THEN we get MORE Katie content on the podcast on April 21st.

AND A DARK HUMOR MINI SERIES FOR THE SUMMER

Oh how blessed are we

[bebx]

[too-pretty-for-this-mess]

Baby: F...fa.........

Killian: Father?

Baby: Fuck Kayden Lockwood.

Killian:

Baby:

Killian:

Baby:

Killian: GLYN, COME HERE QUICKLY. OUR CHILD IS A FUCKING GENIUS!

[http-tempted]

“What inspired you to be this unbothered?” The God and the gays

[muffinlance]

We're all thinking it, I'm gonna say it:

The live action teaser would have been instantly 200% better if the final shot had been "MY CABBAGES!"

[dummyminded]

THEY MADE LOKI A STATUE IM GOING TO THROW UP WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY HEART HURT LIKE THIS??? MOBIUS HAS TO SEE THIS TO HIS DAILY COMMUTE TO WORK (CAUSE YES THEY DO HAVE ROOMS WITH SIGNS IT'S CONFIRMED NOW AND I LOWKEY WANNA SEE MOBIUS' ROOM BUT ANYWAYS THATS NOT THE POINT.) AND BE REMINDED THAT THEY INDEED HAVE NOT SEEN HIM SINCE HIS SACRIFICE LIKE I BET HE SMILES AT IT BUT ONE OF THOSE SAD ONES FULL OF LOVE AND LOSS 😭