#I may have cheated and done a couple first Lines...

[lurkingshan]

I really love this week's episode of When It Rains It Pours, because despite my fears, it managed to address the fallout of Sei and Hagiwara's affair with nuance and without villainizing their partners. I am a bit perplexed at the broad reaction I've seen to this episode painting Fujisawa and Kaori as evil and/or abusive, so I want to talk a bit about why I don't think that is the show's message at all.

The opening scene of this episode, with Sei wandering around ruminating on his feelings for Hagiwara and then coming home to Fujisawa, set the tone for their confrontation. Sei's feelings changed after the night of "going at it like rabbits" that he experienced with Hagiwara. He is frustrated with himself for developing romantic feelings after he is the one who said they shouldn't destroy their relationships, but he can't help but want more with Hagiwara now. And it's in that mindset that Fujisawa catches him off guard first by revealing he already knows about the affair, and then by making a desperate play to give him sex to prevent Sei from leaving him.

This scene is uncomfortable to watch, but to me it is an interesting and well motivated transgression of the boundaries they've set in their relationship that naturally flows from earlier scenes where Sei tried to push himself on Fujisawa despite knowing he was making him uncomfortable. Fujisawa definitely went too far--he should not have held Sei down or touched him in ways he was protesting--but it's important not to forget that Sei has been crossing boundaries by begging Fujisawa to touch him for their entire relationship (and even grabbing and clinging to Fujisawa to try to make him give in), and has also just indicated that sex with someone else is what might finally end things for them. Fujisawa is panicking and realizing that the boundary he set may be the downfall of their relationship, so he tries to give Sei what Sei has always said he wanted from him. And let's be real, if this had happened a couple episodes ago, Sei would have wanted it. But his feelings have changed now, and he no longer wants sex from Fujisawa. Once Sei says that clearly, Fujisawa stops.

In the aftermath of this emotional outburst, Sei is not afraid of Fujisawa, and Fujisawa is contrite and apologetic. They both know they have contributed to damaging their relationship by trying to force an arrangement they knew wasn't working. Living together this way long-term was always the wrong choice, one they made out of grief and a desire to cling to someone comfortable. This is not a story about Fujisawa abusing Sei, it's a story about two friends who love each other but don't want the same things from their relationship, and the tension and irreconcilability of that finally coming to a head. I thought it was really well done, and I'm glad the show allowed both Sei and Fujisawa to be imperfect and make big mistakes in the way they dealt with their feelings as things fell apart. The way Sei clasped Fujisawa's hand says it all; they will never be the same again, but there is still love there alongside the regret.

Now, onto Kaori. I really appreciated the way the show calibrated her discussion with Hagiwara as a slow unfurling from her cheerful front to her sincere regret and distress. Kaori is hurt, but she is not truly angry with Hagiwara because she knows she is the one who pushed him to this. She is struggling with understanding herself, and it's in that context that she wants to understand why Hagiwara cheated with a man. On first hearing it her line about this could be read as homophobic, but if you pay attention to the context and the rest of what she says, that's not what it is at all. Kaori is repulsed by male sex organs, and she hasn't figured out what that means for her yet, and that is why she was getting so upset trying to understand why Hagiwara cheated with a man specifically. She doesn't understand why a man's body repulses her, but not Hagiwara. You can see on Hagiwara's face that he feels for her, and is maybe starting to have a better understanding of why their sex life went wrong.

And to Kaori's immense credit, despite the fact that she is the one who was cheated on by her long-term partner and caught him in his lies, she took accountability for her contributions to the destruction of their relationship. She admitted she snooped through his phone to confirm her suspicions. She owned that she intentionally avoided a need she knew he had, and that she hurt him over and over again in doing so and also in refusing to talk to him about it. She recognized that despite his frustration and cheating, Hagiwara was kind to her and never spoke about her with cruelty in his conversations with Sei. And she respectfully asked him to make a choice about whether to end their relationship so that they could have a clean break. Given the scale of his betrayal, Kaori would have been well within her rights to make this a lot harder for Hagiwara, but she wasn't interested in hurting him anymore. I hope she is able to figure herself out and be okay now that she has also broken free of this relationship that wasn't working for either of them. And it's clear from the way Hagiwara gazed after her as she departed that he feels the same.

So where does that leave us headed into the finale? Both Sei and Hagiwara's relationships as they knew them are over, and they both want more from each other, but there is still a lot of emotional carnage to wade through before either of them can have a healthy relationship. That the start of their relationship is mired in lies and betrayal and the destruction of other relationships that mattered to them is no small hurdle, and I'm hopeful that the show will address that with the nuance and emotional honesty it displayed in this episode.

[kentosovertime]

(n.) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

toji x afab!reader, fiance!megumi - 2.7k words

A/N: here's a comeback fic for my blog resurrection, had this idea before I stopped writing and FINALLY got to it, enjoy~

CW: explicit content, explicit language, age gap, revenge cheating, manipulation, humiliation, dubcon language, your dad will do, virgin!reader, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, breeding, non consensual videotaping at the end, anger issues (rip the reader)

✨Masterlist | Tag List | Ask Box | Open Request Event | AO3 | Ko-Fi✨

“For fucks sake!” You screech, the sound of your rage swallowed by a bus that screams by the side of the road as you slam the hood of your smoking car shut. 

“At least it’s not in flames-” Starts a random passerby walking their dog, but is sent running when you send them a withering glare. After the weekend you’ve had and it’s only Friday night?

You open your phone, your glare turning to the long list of outgoing calls to every hotel within an hour of your apartment, all booked to no vacancy for a local festival. Your landlord really picked the perfect weekend to kick all their tenants out for “emergency” maintenance for an issue that was reported months ago. 

Someone must have threatened to report the living conditions, as his attitude quickly changed when he offered to reimburse the hotel costs if his tenants were forced to stay at one. 

Your gaze softens as you scroll through those calls to where Megumi contacted you, letting you know he had made it to the martial arts competition he was coaching this weekend. His soft spot and skill for taking care of children was what initially drew you to him, but right now you wished more than anything you could press on his name and he could come to your rescue like always. 

Calling a tow truck to bring your car to the mechanics wasn’t necessarily the issue… but being on the streets for the next couple nights was. With your car in this condition, it wasn’t like you could sleep in it, given your inability to find even a shity motel room in the worst part of town. 

You take a moment to mourn the fact that you didn’t move closer to where your family lives before realizing you really only have one option in front of you; Toji. 

The contact information for your boyfriend's father mocks you on the screen, daring you to call him, a perfect stranger, to come and save your ass. The lack of familiarity wasn’t based on a lack of effort on your part, having tried repeatedly to get Megumi to open up about his family. The most that you were able to glean was that his mother had passed away and his father wasn’t often present. 

“Hello?” A gruff voice answers on the first ring. You didn’t even realize you had pressed his number before he was on the line. “Sorry, Mr. Fushiguro? This is Megumi’s fiance…” An awkward, lasting silence stretches out between the two of you before you clear your throat and try again. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but Megumi is out of town and m-my car is billowing smoke a-and all the hotels are booked-” 

Toji smirks as you ramble, rather cutely he may add, grabbing his wallet and keys before he’s even told you yes to both of your requests. He chuckles under his breath as you struggle to not fill the silence, letting your words hang in the air again. 

“I’m on my way,” He hums as he twists the keys in the ignition of his car. “Get your stuff out of the car in case it explodes.” 

He barks out a laugh as he hangs up and hears a distressed noise of dismay leave your throat. You’re so easily worked up, he wonders if this is why Megumi has done everything in his power to prevent the two of you from meeting… a valid concern. Considering how that ex of his used to try to hang off of Toji. He shudders in disgust at the memory of the girl, still in high school and thinking she was worth a second glance. 

Something tells him you’d be a prettier sight. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

This is why Megumi has been telling you no… It takes everything in you to keep your jaw snapped shut as you watch his father prowl up to where you're standing over your suitcase on the sidewalk, nervously glancing at the vehicle he made seem may blow up at any second. 

You approach the car hesitantly when he waves you over, shocked that your legs work from how tightly your wound. He opens up the hood to take a look at what’s causing the smoke while you wait for your tow. 

“Here, sweetheart.” It only takes him a second to point out what's wrong with your engine, gently redirecting your finger when you point to an area in question. “I wouldn’t hold out too much hope that this is worth fixing… you may be looking at a new set of wheels.” 

Anger and frustration well up in you again, even as a flush of heat cascades down your spine at the small touch of his skin on yours. You’re thankful for the distraction the anger provides, given the other option is avoiding looking at how his tight black t-shirt stretches across his torso or drooling like a pitiful little girl. Your fiance is attractive, but there’s still a softness to his face. He lacks the hard planes and sharp angles his father possesses. 

“One thing at a time.” Toji squeezes your shoulder with a smirk, leading closer than he should. How is he supposed to help himself when you seem ready to snap with how tightly you’ve wound yourself? The tension in your back only winds further with how he kneads your skin. “If you need it, I’ll pitch in to help Megumi get you around for a bit.” 

Your mouth opens to stutter out a reply… or maybe a denial for such an open ended offer, but the horn of the tow truck stops you. 

“Let me handle that.” He hums. “I wouldn’t want the tow truck driver to try to take advantage of you.” 

Watching him leave, you pull the phone from your pocket, sending Megumi a quick update about where you’re going before your phone dies. You shove it back into its spot after you’ve powered it off, saving what’s left of the battery for when you’re able to dig out your phone charger. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Toji holds the door to his house open for you, bracing his hand on the small of your back as you cross the threshold to a surprisingly tasteful living room. 

“What?” You can hear the smirk in his voice, the shock must be written all over your face. “Expect a futon couch and a mattress on the floor?” 

“M-Maybe..” You rub your neck with a sheepish look, managing a small chuckle as he leads you down the hall to what you assume is the room you’ll be using. “Something about unmarried men and the lack of dining room tables and living out of laundry baskets.” 

The drive over had taken longer than you expected, he lives on the edge of the city, the houses given more space than what you’re used to from your apartment in the city. But it had given you the opportunity to partially acclimate to his overwhelming presence. All you had to do was not look at his face… easy. 

“I did have a wife.” He hums in thought. “The art of furnishing a house isn’t lost on me… Anyway.. This one is you.” He flicks on the light as he enters the spacious room, moving until he gets to another door, turning that light on too, the cocky humor back on his face by the time he turns back to you with a playful glint in his eyes. 

“You have your own bathroom… shower head’s detachable.”  He tacks on, watching you empty your overnight bag, setting your night clothes out before you turn your phone back on and get it attached to a charger.

“That’s not- I wouldn’t-” A shocked squeak flies from your throat as your eyes widen in embarrassment. 

“Your face is…” He howls in laughter. “Absolutely priceless. My room is down the hallway, last door on the right. In case you need me.”

“I-” His tone drips with innuendo, making the blush on your face deepen to a shade of crimson. So much for not thinking about him inappropriately. 

“So innocent, sweetheart. You’d think you’re still a virgin.” You watch in mortification as your future father-in-law leans cockily against the door jam to your bathroom, your mouth opening and closing, urging something to come out, an explanation, a lie, anything. Just something to make him not make fun of you. “Oh my god… you are. Even when you’re engaged to my son?” 

“He…” You wring your hands together, your voice barely above a mumble, looking down at your engagement ring in confusion, as if it could tell you the Toji’s lying to you. “He said he wanted to wait until w-we were married. That he’d wait…” 

He never said that it would be his first time, you realize. As quickly as your embarrassment comes, it's replaced with a low, burning fit of rage that’s ready to lash out. 

“Wait! You thought Megumi was a virgin?” He snickers meanly. “That’s fucking rich, hun. That ship sailed in fucking high school.” 

You listen, shaking with the anger that’s boiling inside of you, as he describes Megumi’s relationship with a girl named Himari, how he walked in on them more than once. 

Your mind starts to spin in circles, fueled by this rage that has nowhere to go. As insufferable as Toji is about this, you find your anger can’t be directed at him. It's Megumi that lied to you for the entire duration of your relationship, not his father. 

As your mind circles, every insecurity that you’ve had about your relationship that you so easily dismissed before bubbles to the surface one by one. He’s always working or volunteering somewhere. The apartment has just become a place that he sometimes sleeps, if he ever makes it home because he travels around so often. He even said he didn’t like his father. Admittedly, you can see how they would clash, but was that it? Or did he just not want you to meet Toji so his cover wouldn’t be blown?

Toji approaches you, leaning into that delicious anger to purr in your ear. “I could show you what you’re missing, sweetheart…” 

Your body doesn’t flinch as your eyes slide to meet his gaze directly for the first time. You nod ever so slightly in consent, your breath uneven from the anticipation that’s built in your core from when you first saw him. 

“I’m going to need a little more than a nod, swe-” It’s the spite that pushes you to kiss him first. Spite that doing this will hurt Megumi has much as he hurt you, and spite that if you have to hear Toji call you sweetheart one more fucking time you’d explode. 

The groan you swallow from Toji as he presses against you wipes any doubt from your mind as you press against his broad chest to push him to the guest bed and crawl up his body to grind yourself into the bulge in his pants, hungrily seeking out his lips again. 

“Eager little virgin, aren’t we?” He growls as he yanks your head back by your hair, baring your neck to him so he can nip at it. The lack of marks there by his son is a further invitation to take you for himself. 

“Ah-! Mr. Fushi-” A whimper escapes your mouth as he carelessly shoves a hand beneath the band of your leggings and panties and you squirm to pull away as his fingers immediately shove past your entrance to scissor you open. 

“Uh uh. That’s enough of that shit.” He bites a harsh mark into the juncture of your neck, grinning when you cry out with a mixture of pain and pleasure, fat tears welling in your eyes and spilling over, your core spasming around his digits he continues to bully into you. “I’m not fucking stopping until your dripping, sweetheart. I’m going to have you crying that its too much and I’m not going to fucking stop. Even if you beg.”

It stings, the foreign feeling inside of you, but that feeling is quickly replaced by a rapidly approaching orgasm. You can take him, you think as you reach down between you to palm him through his sweatpants. You’re ready for anything he could give you. 

Your efforts leave you breathless and end with you managing to work his pant’s down his legs as he rips your leggings from your body along with your panties. 

“Fuck-” He growl as you take ahold of his length and line him up with your entrance as you hover above him. “You better slow down or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re too cocky for your own- oh fuck-” You hiss as you allow the head of his cock to breach your entrance. The sting returns and flares into white hot heat at your core, making you double over into his chest as each inch rips its way into you. Your hips rock needily into him, trying with desperate circles to work yourself open. 

By the third circle of your hips, Toji loses his patience. His hands reach out to grapple your hips, using his momentum to flip the two of you before he thrusts violently into you, fully seating himself before pulling from your heat to slam home again. 

“Broken in now, aren’t you?” He growls, slamming into you a few more times before the sting completely abates, making sure you really feel what he’s taking from you. “Took what you wanted like a greedy fucking whore. Now shut the fuck up and be thankful I’m giving you my cock.” 

He pulls out of you to manhandle you until your chest is laying against the covers, wasting no time before he’s hauling your hips back into where he kneels behind you, entering you roughly again and setting a punishing pace. 

“You take me like a trained bitch.” He pants, grunting as his hips slap against yours, sending the vibrations straight to your clit as you sob into the duvet. “You lying about this being your first time?” 

You don’t answer, your face planted into the covers from the angle he has you bent into. Toji growls in annoyance, gathering your arms behind you to pull you up against his chest before his free hand snakes around your front to deliver a harsh slap to your center, ripping a scream from you.

“Go on slut. Answer, daddy.” He slaps your clit again and you feel yourself gush around his length, pushed to the edge. 

“M’not lying, Mr. Fushigur-” Another slap has you trembling, fresh tears pouring down your cheeks as you build impossibly higher. “D-Daddy- M’not you just f-feel s’good. I’ve b-been wet since you showed up.”

“Greedy little thing’s so ignored by Megumi you have to result to fucking his dad?” He coos down at you condescendingly, degrading you further. His voice takes on a cruel tone as he starts circling your clit. “How are you going to explain to your precious fiance that you’re carrying his brother?” 

“W-What- n-no T-Toji you c- shit!” You cum suddenly around him, the image of you leaking his cum banging around your head until you're clamping so hard around him you’re pulling his orgasm from him. Shivers wrack your body as you feel the ropes of his cum pump into you and leak from where you’re connected.  

The two of you breathe heavily, your panting filling the room as you come down from your highs. In your haze you don’t notice Toji video taping his cock pulling out of your cunt or the cum that gushed out in its wake before playfully slapping your ass and walking into the guest bathroom to get you a towel. 

You slump against the covers, wincing as you reach for your phone when you see the screen go off with worried messages from Megumi about being near his father. Followed by numerous missed calls with the same message, pleading with you not to stay with him. That he’d rush home tonight to help you so you didn’t have to stay there. 

You scowl at the message, sending off something that gets right to the point. 

<Who’s Himari?>

You decline the immediate litany of frantic calls, fully shutting off your phone and shuffling out of bed to join Toji in the bathroom. Maybe the shower could be round two… and if not, you’d happily sneak into the master bedroom to make that a reality.

tag list: @sugarbooger513 @sugarmapoops @roughwithfluff @severelytalentless @yelzoldyck @silversslut @aazaard @dreamyyholland @wobblewobble822 @vantastic210@rafzaha @tirzamisu @chososhoney @littlemochi @bebechinas99 @firdaoz @saoney @meromelo @pelicanpizza @sukunassoulmate @damncakie @katgalle @honeyyjems [[if your blog name is crossed out i couldn't tag you]]

[razorblade180]

Unlimited Fighting Championship- Automaton

Pt4

Varesa: *flops to the floor* No more! I’m done!

Citlali:Finally fizzling out? What, you can fight a Terrorshroom but a couple of nobodies is too much?

Varesa:It is when it’s back to back!

Iasan:Gonna side with Varesa on this one. *kneels* I…think I’m officially at my limit.

Ororon:Honestly, I feel pretty good.

Citlali:That’s because most of the time you’re standing still unlike the rest of us!

Ororon:But…you’re on Citlalin most of the-

Citlali:*hands on hips*

Ororon:…I’ll help carry them.

Objective met- all boons acquired

Mizuki:I feel bad for Ororon sometimes.

Aether:I’m sure it’s just another day for him at this point.

Furina:I’m more concerned the next match.

Navia:Same. If it’s anything like the other events it was in, it might wear everyone down.

Wriothesley:It’s tricky?

Navia:More like it outright sucks. Some might say it’s the bane of people’s existence.

Wriothesley:Your existence?

Navia:Very much.

Aether:She had to face a really enhanced version before and was always seconds away from victory.

Clorinde:It got so bad she tagged out and entrusted the job to Hu Tao.

Furina:I was there too! We finished with three seconds to spare. This robot cheats! It eats up so much time and demands near perfection!

Aether:Sounds familiar, in a cute way.

Furina:Adding “cute” doesn’t absolve your slander!

Wriothesley:Sounds like it would be nice having one of these in the fortress.

Navia:That’s gotta be excessive force.

Kinich:*walks up* There room over here?

Aether:Looking for moral support? Grab a seat.

Kinich:I was too close to enemy territory.

Hydro:Let’s go Mualani! Let’s go! 🎶

Furina:Isn’t she your girlfriend?

Kinich:Oh I wish her the best, but she’s also kinda rich and objectively could pay for everyone’s meal without breaking a sweat.

Aether:I keep forgetting she’s loaded. *looks at Furina* I keep forgetting you’re loaded.

Furina:Keep it that way.

xxxxxx

Mualani:Alright team,we’re all set! Xilonen, pillars! Emilie, Mavuika, just keep it on fire!

Emilie:This plan can use more steps…

Mualani:It’s fiiiiine! Mavukia will follow your lead. Knowing is half the battle, so leave the details to me.

Mavukia:You’re taking this pretty seriously.

Mualani:All my bets are serious. Especially when mora is on the line! Let’s do this! You three are the heart of the plan!

Xilonen:Been hearing that a lot recently. *stretches* I’ll take point.

Mavukia:Oh?

Xilonen:Don’t act surprised. I hate this thing more than anyone. Just remember to space out or the plan falls apart.

Keqing:May the team take the stage!

Mualani gives everyone a first bump then leads them out into the arena with high spirits.

The entire crowd erupts with anticipation, still riding the high of Varesa’s performance. To nobody’s surprise, Xilonen sprinted out ahead to start the fight. She immediately attacked the machine responsible for so much of her errands. Dendro and flames began to rain down in a constant stream which prompted the robot’s own lasers to fire.

With no reason to engage, Emilie held back while Mavukia got up close and personal; moving clockwise while Xilonen went the opposite direction. It was a fine strategy, except for the part where Mualani stood in place doing nothing.

Barbara:Umm is she okay?

Kokomi:Oh she’s perfectly fine. I’d say she’s perfect in fact.

Citlali:Has she finally cracked under pressure?

Kachina:What? No, Mualani would never. But uhhh I don’t know what she’s doing.

Kinich:…!? Heh, darn. I should have thought to do this. *covers face*

Yelan:Haha! Well now, I’m shocked our little funeral director didn’t do this.

After another twenty seconds of watching a machine rampage, Mualani called for a time out with a satisfied expression.

Mualani:Alright! Keqing, may we get a reset? It’s in the rules right?

Keqing:Indeed it is! You didn’t reach a platinum so you get to try again! *smirks* Go back to starting position! Remember, the score to beat is 908.

K&C:Ooooooh. Poor Kinich.

Xilonen:Did you get what you needed?

Mualani: Yeah it’s gonna be really close but hey, what’s wrong with a little sweat!? Full speed ahead, now!

Just like before, Xilonen took off and started the challenge. Only difference was Mavuika coming in right behind her followed their leader tagging the robot. Mualani weaved through its legs like a course lit on fire before letting Sharky get a taste of buring metal.

300,000k!

Mona:THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT!

Nilou:GO MUALANI!

Mualani:I’M JUST GETTING STARTED!

She curved around lasers and u-turned right back into her opponent before leaping over Mavuika’s head as she rode by. The surfer quickly grabbed Emilie’s sensor to turn again, flicking her board from under her feet and right into the core.

900,000k!

Amber:WOOOO!

Hydros: Talk. Your. Shit!

It was never a dull moment with this girl. Emilie had the pleasure of watching backflips onto surfboards up close before diving mechanical fingers and getting spun back around by Xilonen as her three teammates kept tight circles around the Source Mechanism. Even when she overcharged her sensor, Mualani weaved through the blasts zones effortlessly.

Two orbs of light shot out of it to create the pillars as it charged for a blasts. Mualani got one syllable out before the sound of shattering ore came from Xilonen kicking both cores and sending the foe down for Mavuika and Mualani to strike in tandem. The surfer grinded up the side and hopped off to fling another sharkpedo before riding off.

800,000k!

Kinich:Don’t stop for a second!!!

Ajaw:Why are you cheering for your downfall!!!?

Aether:You can do it!!!!

Her blows weren’t as quick as Varesa’s, and her dominance wasn’t as assured as her archon’s, but everyone understood Mualani was somewhere between the two and it was beautiful.

She made it look easy with the smile on her face, but the concentration was evident to those like Hu Tao and Kinich. It was all in her eyes; the way they took in everything as she remained close to a literal burning structure to strike as quickly as possible. Her turns were tighter than Flamestrider and the added acrobatics over obstacles was a flare all her own that showed mastery mixed with unorthodox tactics.

Iansan:She’s completely in the zone.

Kachina:With the flames so close I doubt she’s even hearing the cheers or call outs.

Varesa:It’s so hard to watch! It keeps looking like she’s about to crash!

Keqing:THIRTY SECONDS!

Everyone: GO! GO! GO! GO!

Mualani:Don’t wipeout. Don’t wipeout. Don’t wipeout…

Every single hit matters. No mistakes. No screw ups. Xilonen broke more and the flames kept pouring alongside dendro. Slowly the sounds of the masses became clear again.

“TEN NINE EIGHT SEVEN SIX FIVE FOUR THREE TWO-”

1,000,000m!

Keqing:TIME!

Mualani completely bailed off Sharky, rolling along the ground and raising her head up immediately to see her score.

Platinum- 910

Mualani:*hops up* LET’S GOOOOOOOO! “Where’s my crown!?”

Everyone:On your head!

Mualani:“WHERE’S MY CROWN!?”

Everyone:ON YOUR HEAD!

Xilonen put Mualani on her shoulders while Mavuika did the same for Emilie. The perfumer was confused when her hand was taken and raised in triumph!

Emilie:Huh!?

Mualani:Why are you surprised!? We won the bet by two points! You were the only one of us that could constantly apply pressure. Don’t tell me you weren’t checking how much your sensor was doing.

Emilie:I was too busy watching you! If anyone should be thanked it’s your archon!

Mavukia:You were doing 150,000 thousand while barely moving.

Emilie:WHAT!?

Aether:*stands up* Everyone, thanks for the great turnout! Please begin going back to the teapot and leaving your desired dish request for tonight’s feast!

Hu Tao:SAY THANK YOU TO KINICH!

Everyone:THANK YOU KINICH!!!

Kinich:*thumbs up*

Xiangling:I’ll help you cook and gather ingredients.

Kinich:You’re my favorite person today.

As people began to leave, Mualani rejoined Aether and Kinich who stayed behind with Keqing and several others to properly clean things up.

Mualani:If you want, I can be persuaded to go halfies on the bill.

Kinich:A bet is a bet. I’ll honor it. Besides, Aether told me I’m essentially only paying for the missing ingredients and not all the shipping so it’s not as bad.

Keqing:I’d never let Hu Tao’s antics get too crazy. To be honest, I’m sure Ningguang would’ve lightened the burden if someone genuinely couldn’t pay.

Kinich:Now then, what do I personally owe you now that I’ve officially lost?

Mualani:For my amazing efforts, you and Aether have to spoil me all day tomorrow!

Aether:How’d I get roped in!?

Mualani:Because why not?

She kisses both their cheeks and walks off casually

Keqing:She certainly takes initiative.

Amber:It’s very respectable! I like it. Though it’s a bit funny how first place wasn’t promised anything.

Aether:Varesa is getting a crown. Although to be fair, I would’ve done that eventually anyway. Oh! I’ll make my special birthday cake for her today. Now she gets two!

Paimon:But if Paimon dares to ask then it’s “ruining the integrity of the moment” okay. *floats away* You can wake up on your own this week and braid your hair!

Aether:…She’s just hangry.

[lightofraye]

Hi there!

First, thank you for being understanding that these replies may take time! I appreciate a follower/fan that is kind and respectful!

Second, to respond! Doing it in pieces to respond to each section you've said.

I wanted to weigh in on this anon's ask. But, I will preface this by saying I don’t know Jared or Gen, or Danneel or Jensen personally at all, so it’s pure speculation based off of observation.

Understood. Honestly that's all any of us can really say, unless we did know them. I speculate, you speculate, everyone speculates.

There are some guys (and gals or whoever, but I especially notice with guys), who meet someone and that’s it. They are in, hook, line and sinker. The are head over heels for their partner. Jared strikes me as one of those guys. He’s said himself that he’s not necessarily big on mushy words and things like that, which I think accounts for some of the coupley pics that Gen posts of them coming off a tad awkward. But he’s seemed settled ever since he got married, talking up being married and always mentioning Gen showing up as the best time on SPN for him (I also understsnd that this is any easy answer to give, so why not stick with it).

Oh yes. There are some people who are done, as it were, once they're married. That's it, that's their person, and no need to look elsewhere. They're loyal to a fault, loving, and dedicated. You're right, Jared strikes me as the type.

Also, I heard a rumor once that some people he worked with (I wanna say SPN cast or crew, or handlers) called Jared "very loyal," and almost kind of insinuated that he, unlike others, doesn’t mess around on his partner. In almost a condescending way. But, certainly don’t take my word on that because I can’t remember where I heard it. He also vibes as super uninterested in person (sexually, not indifferent as a person), almost like he views all fans as nice, momentary friends and that’s it. He gives no vibe of … availability. And granted, he’d be dumb to project interest on fans of all people, but it’s just a feeling I get from him (I’ve had some photo ops and meet & greets with him).

Oh how interesting! I think you're right. He may be friendly with fans, funny if the shares on Twitter are any indication, but I've never heard of him going beyond that. He maintains those boundaries, even if fans don't (I'm reminded of an op, I believe, being canceled because a fan had the audacity to grab his ass!).

I won’t belabor this point, but in contrast, Jensen vibes totally different than Jared. First, even early into his marriage, he’s made "jokes" about not liking being married. And there was that blind item about he and Danneel swinging or something. Danneel also has more cuddly chemistry with his friend Steve than Jensen. I would bet on it that Jensen and Danneel aren’t "loyal" to each other, but I think it’s more likely they have an open marriage than it being cut-and-dried cheating.

Unfortunately, yes... Jensen's never come across as someone madly in love with Danneel. In the early interviews, pre-marriage, he'd just gloss over "Yeah, we're together, been a year" and change the subject. Or one interview... hang on, let me get it.

Where when he's asked about marriage, he looked nervous and uninterested. Even though he'd been with Danneel for two and a half years by then. Most men will know they're going to marry someone within months of dating. Two and a half years and he still isn't sure? Oh boy.

As for the swinging... wow. I never heard of that one. I do remember that guy who tweeted about an orgy, got hit by Danneel to shut up or be sued, and he hastily removed the tweet. (Way to validate the claim, Danneel!)

As for Danneel and Steve, yep. They're far more like a couple than Danneel ever appeared to be with Jensen. Though I hear (from my industry expert) that it may be over between Steve and Danneel, which may be why she wanted to move far, far away. Steve probably got fed up with being the side piece instead of the main interest. But since we know Danneel won't give up Jensen's fortune without a fight....

Jensen also has a certain vibe of availability, again not to fangirls, but he seems more open on an attraction level. I don’t know how better to explain it, and again it’s just the vibes I get, so I’m not trying to say I "know" anything but just a feeling. Like, I find both J2 very attractive, and I find them funny, I even like Jared slightly more, but they literally feel different to me in person.

I think I get what you mean by vibes. I do hope, if he is having flings and one night stands, that Jensen isn't aiming for the easily available fans who are probably more than willing to have that opportunity. Is he actually having affairs? I heard of one rumor during one Bacchus event that he possibly had a one night stand with a girl there.

If he is... I can't judge him. As I mentioned, finding comfort in the quicksilver rush of an affair... sometimes that's all anyone can get in Hollywood. (And we know what kind of wife Danneel is--I doubt Jensen even seeks comfort in her arms.)

I’m going to stop now because I've veered off course and and starting to sound silly. I also get that these people are actors, so the vibe they give off could be manufactured, anyway. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to respond (if you do).

Hey, rambling is okay! That's the title of my blog! I ramble too!

Truth. We can only speculate on vibes. I had a mutual who attended a con recently and she said Jensen came across as very reserved, shy even, and uncomfortable with being in the spotlight. That was one con. Other cons, we heard of him being warm and friendly with fans, even going as far as to joking with them.

We're all very different day to day. There may be an underlying true pattern, but even shy people have times when they're comfortable in their skin to talk to others openly. Even flirty.

I appreciate your insight very much!

Thanks for the ask!

(Note to followers/fans: I do have asks on. Not anon asks. If you want your identity kept secret, ask and it's done. I only share names of those who are rude as they violated the right to respect and secrecy.

I also hope to get around to all the other asks! Life is busy!)

[taylorrepdetective]

Have you talked about How Did It End?

If the goal was to make us uncomfortable, then the goal is was achieved with me.

I haven’t, other than saying it’s one of my favorites.

Oh boy this turned out to be long. Sorry.

I think this song is primarily about having to deal with the gossip surrounding your relationship, specifically with the perceptions of the end of a relationship that everyone thinks they know a lot about, but actually don’t. And as a celebrity like Taylor, having everyone talking about how it ended and thinking they know the various reasons, based on Taylor’s own storytelling she’s done about it (which is never going to be 100% reality) and also based on gossip that’s just “out there” based on what people think they know about Taylor, whether it’s what she has pushed people to “know” or some of the more salacious stuff she’d rather people didn’t think.

Now, most of us have had to deal a bit with this. Having to tell people something ended. Some have even had to tell about calling off an engagement or letting everyone know you’re divorcing. It’s gonna be hard, having to first tell intimate friends/family who may know a lot of details already, but then also people less close to you over and over again: coworkers, your hairdresser, your 2nd cousin you only see at Thanksgiving who may have heard tidbits from your Aunt who heard tidbits from your mom. This second group in particular don’t know all the drama and non-dramatic stuff that happened that led to the end. They might be shocked because you seemed so perfect for each other. Or they may say when you’re not around, “yeah that’s not surprising, you know how she is.”

But when you’re Taylor Swift, you meet A LOT of people. And when your life is splashed across the news front page, and you’ve made a career out of singing about your life and letting people in on the intimate moments (songs about sex, songs about depression, songs about joy) and you’ve built a parasocial army of people who think they really know you, the response to the ending of a relationship is going to be an overwhelming cacophony of opinions and expressions of sympathy from people who really don’t know anything, but think they do.

And I think this is part of what my interpretation of this song differs from what others have said (though admittedly I haven’t read any long winded analyses of this song. Maybe this is obvious.) I feel like most people read through the list of reasons it ended in the verses:

Hot house flower to my outdoorsman (him introverted, her extroverted)

Incurable maladies (both have depression)

Birthright became foreign (soulmates to distance between)

Blind to unforeseen circumstances (unexpected bad stuff popped up -stuff like the masters heist or whatever paper thin best laid plans they had)

Different dances (not on the same page)

Interlopers glances (cheating, emotional or otherwise)

Lost game of chance (bad luck)

as Taylor telling us and the gossipers how it ended.

But if you look at it a different way, you can interpret it as this is a list of speculation by the gossipers of how it may have ended. It’s not Taylor saying why it ended. You can recognize everything on this list as things people speculated about what caused it to end.

Look at the first line of the song :

We nearby conduct this post mortem

Who’s we here? If it were Taylor telling all, it would be “I hearby conduct”. Also “We must know.” So to me, the We here is us, the GP, her acquaintances. In other places in the song though, we is them as a couple. “This is what happens to us.” But imo, there are clear points where it’s the audience giving their opinions or asking why. Whenever I think of these people in relation to Taylor, I picture her hairdressers (same as the person at the beginning of Paris.) This is just my own personal visualization of people who gossip. But you can also just as easily picture a few swifties you follow who always pretend to know her and what’s going on, often people who met her once or twice, or you can picture some podcasters who make money off pretending to understand her best, or DeuxMoi who claims to have sources who know her, or the people at the office water cooler saying “oh did you hear about Taylor and her boyfriend, what was his name? Joe something?” Or teenagers texting each other the news on April 8th. It’s all of us, some who think we know a lot (stand) and some who only know the bare minimum (average GP person who reads People magazine at the hairdressers.) But I like to imagine it being someone who does actually know Taylor a bit, which is why I choose the hairdresser. Notoriously gossipy, notoriously able to get people to tell them some personal things, but Taylor certainly won’t tell them the whole truth. Imagine the question “oh honey I heard the news about you and Joe. How did it end?” And she’s gone through this so many times. Since she was 18 years old. People being nosy, thinking they know more than they do. And then those people tell all of their friends (even if there was a bit of a promise to not) and gossip spreads within the industry and people think they know. Same with gossip spreading through the fandom or gossip spreading through the GP.

And since I believe many of her public relationships have been fake and she has had private relationships that began and ended generally without these people knowing about them, but also in some cases these people did know about the secret things but they only knew a tiny bit, it brings a whole other layer to this. *Hairdresser whispers* “Oh I heard that secret thing I know about ended, gosh I’m so sorry. How, you two seemed so perfect for each other?” And all the while they are thinking: Did she really betray you? Did you really turn down a marriage proposal from her? Did she really cheat on you? Did you really fall in love with the beard? Did you hear about your ex friend’s sister hooking up with that wanna be Z-lister?” They may not directly ask these questions or say these things but want to. They know not to cross that line but they certainly are curious and they certainly gossip about it later. “I did Taylor’s hair last week after the news came out and let me tell you she looked sad/manic/fine/robotic and I think this must be what happened…” And some of them probably do ask these questions straight to her, and she has to answer in ways that protect her and the other person’s privacy. It must be really hard. And the thing is most of these people are decent people. They aren’t trying to hurt her. They are the empathetic people she mentions in a couple of songs. At least they think they are. But Taylor knows the real motivation here is curiosity and gossip. They might also care about her but not in a real way, because she is mostly a fictional character to them. The gossip is just as, if not more important. And part of her does want to be understood. She wants to be seen. But she also wants desperately to protect herself. It’s such a double edged sword that she grapples with constantly.

Finally, we get to the bridge, a place where sometimes in her songs she changes perspective, goes outside the story told in the rest of the song, changes it up, adds a twist, and I believe this is her herself silently screaming into the void how it really felt, what really happened. Her and her ghostly lover, metaphorically dying together, mourning their loss together. This bridge is some of the best writing on the album.

And it’s like her herself ending the song with this mysterious:

I still don’t know, how did it end?

Why wouldn’t she know how it ended?

All around a great song full of the folklore of Taylor Swift.

[gaymingintrovert]

Over analyzing the Deltarune cheat sheet! I know I’ll likely not be the first to get this out (since Deltarune fans are faster than god), but I still want to get my thoughts out.

I haven’t done a post like this before. A cut because this is really long. Some of this information may have already been in previous gameplay screenshots and I’ve just forgotten about it, so forgive any of that.

This’ll just be about chapter 3 since as far as I can tell it’s all chapter 3 related. A mix of observation and some theorizing/speculation.

Battle Related (The Main Section)

A couple things with this first screenshot! First, we have the Sharpshoot ACT. I assume this is what we saw in action in the trailer:

(Weirdly, the TP bar is missing the line and star it has in the cheat sheet images. I’ll bring up what that could be in a bit.)

Secondly, the text for the Check option says “Useless analysis” (the irony of me analyzing this is not lost on me). This is different than usual. To my memory (and checking one encounter each in chapter 1 and 2), there isn’t usually any flavor text for the Check button. I could have missed something, though.

One possibility is that it’s similar to the Check text on K. Round. “Check” turns into “Checkers” after you check once. This could be a similar situation, where the “Useless analysis” text shows up after checking once as a reaction to the check itself.

Next battle screenshot is the one where Kris is ACTing:

It seems like the top Shadowguy just hit 100% mercy and their “sparable” pose is them playing a saxophone.

The Kris dance animation from chapter 2 returns!

Finally, the last battle image:

Obvious thing first. We have to recruit 25 Shadowguys. The most we had to recruit in chapter 2 was Werewire, who you had to recruit 6 of. This makes me wonder a few things:

- Will this Dark World be longer than Cyber World? (Unlikely since to my memory Toby Fox said chapter 2 would still be the longest out of 1-4)

- Could this be the only enemy we can get encounters with? If not the only enemy, maybe one of very few or it’s one we get encounters with extremely often. In chapter 2, it was easy to get your recruits because you rarely had to go out of your way to get them. Unless this changes, these guys could just be the ones you encounter a lot. To add to this, the Shadowguy has been the only normal encounter enemy we’ve seen in the promotional material for chapter 3. Chapter 2’s trailer had multiple types of enemies in it, so trailers haven’t avoided showing different enemies in the past. This could be coincidence or something else, but I think it’s possible that the Shadowguy is the main normal encounter enemy for chapter 3 (similar to how Rudinn and Hathy were for chapter 1)

They may be sent by Tenna (or whoever else the main boss is if that ends up not being Tenna) or just generally be their crew.

The last thing in this image is of course the star and line on the TP bar.

I’m honestly completely unsure of what this could be. Especially considering it isn’t on the TP bar in the trailer footage. Here’s what I think it could be.

- Maybe if you use the Boogie ACT, it will appear. I don’t know what it would be for, but it could be caused by using the Boogie ACT. This could be coincidental, but the TP is under that line in all the images with it. Maybe the amount of TP you have affects how much mercy a Shadowguy passively gains, and that line is an indicator of when it changes.

This is purely speculation, of course.

I’m sure others have pointed this out, but:

Susie’s UltimateHeal changed to UltraHeal. My personal hope for this is that it means it’s getting better to show that Susie’s getting better and embracing her kind side over her mean side. And maybe that she’s becoming more comfortable putting down her mean girl persona.

Now, something that really confused me:

To my knowledge, this hasn’t been a thing already. If it has, I haven’t noticed it. Part of me wonders if this could be related to the line on the TP bar in the Shadowguy fights, but there isn’t any connection concrete enough for me to say for sure. I do think it could be an interesting way to foreshadow the main boss. Both King and Queen have had some similar but harder attacks to some of the earlier enemies, so the TP mechanic could foreshadow the main boss having a similar mechanic. I’m hesitant on this though, since I don’t really think so many battles would have the lowered TP gain.

Other (Literally One Thing)

There are like four tips on the full image of this, but this one is a little new to me. I specifically want to focus on the “some bosses may not be able to be defeated with violence” part.

We’ve already seen not being able to defeat an enemy with mercy with Giga Queen (and Spamton NEO in the Weird Route; though he technically can’t be killed through FIGHTing alone). Despite being presumably impossible to kill, you can still beat Jevil with violence.

I think it likely is a main or secret boss that this is referring to. However, I think it could be interesting if the Guei from chapter 4 were impossible to get to low HP. Because of all their ghost imagery, they may be unable to be killed. I’m not too sure about that, though.

I wasn’t expecting to talk about chapter 4 in this at all, honestly.

That’s all the new information I could get out of the cheat sheet. I’m sure there’s more I missed or other possibilities I didn’t think of, so I’m excited to see others’ thoughts on all this!

Deltarune tomorrow!! (Well…two days, but same thing.)

[babiebom]

Stardew Characters as Euphoria Chatacters

A/N: I have been sick for the last couple of days but I turn 24 tomorrow!! So here’s a lil something from me <3 also a disclaimer I have not watched this show outside of edits and crack compilations so it might not be accurate lmao. Also also it’s not everyone just who I can see in the main roles that I know?? Also also also I would like to write something like euphoria for stardew but I think I gotta get finished with when you fall first and I’m not even nearly done with that because idk how I want it to end yet.

Tw:cursing, mentions of cheating, fighting, betrayal, euphoria things I guess?

Bc: at least 2-4 for each hopefully?

Stardew Masterlist

Haley-Maddy Perez

The hot popular girl who everyone either likes or fears or wants to be. Like we all know that Haley is kinda a bitch when you first meet her but she’s actually super sweet when you get to know her. And what I know of Maddy is that she looks put together but I’m pretty sure she has problems and while she looks like a mean girl she’s actually kinda sweet and funny. She’s in a toxic relationship because that’s what she thinks she deserves and will end up with. That sweet, pure, long lasting love isn’t something that she thinks she’ll ever get, and is something that she acknowledges won’t be enough for her in the long run even if it’s what she secretly wants.

All she really cares about is her friends, her family, and it used to be her boyfriend because yeah he was her future but that’s done with now. So she tries to focus on what’s to come. And unlike a lot of others, she’s more chill about people’s wrongdoings, like yeah you kinda pissed her off but that happens(as long as it isn’t betrayal) like oh you relapsed? That’s okay it happens sometimes babe, you’re more than just a drug addict and don’t you forget that. Sure she’s gonna go off the deep end eventually, but you don’t deserve that so remember she’s here for you and get yourself together.

Like yeah shes pretty and walks around as if she owns the place but really shes going through something fucked up with her ex who does seem to actually want to let her go despite not actually behaving as if he loves her. And sure she loves him, but she decided to walk away from the relationship for a reason so why is she sleeping with him again? Is it because he uses sweet words? Is it because she believes this is all she’s ever going to get? Maybe it’s the way he makes promises of the future like getting married and having kids while hurting her that makes her want to get back with him. But nevertheless she’s trying hard to stay away from him, to move on and learn to actually love herself and grow. Him basically threatening her life was enough for her, she knows that she deserves toxicity(does she tho?) but there’s a line that you do not cross and hopefully she learns what it is before it’s too late.

Penny-Cassie Howard

While Penny is a wholesome girl, I do think there is an underlying potential in how passive aggressive and fake she could be. Like yes Haley is the stereotypical popular girl, but if we look closely Penny seems like the girl who isn’t actually a girls girl but is a pick me that pretends that she’s so nice and friendly. Like is Penny actually like that? No but we are strictly speaking in what could be and who has the potential for what.

Like i can see Penny in high school changing herself for whatever guy she has her eyes set on, and falling in love with literally any guy that gives her the time of day. And yeah she might go for guys that are slightly toxic but Penny has daddy issues and mommy issues so it’s not really surprising is it? I think Haley is who Penny wishes she could be. Pretty, has a bit of money, has a very attractive boyfriend that Penny has set her sights on.

Yeah Penny is being kinda self centered, but y’know it’s not her fault! She has this way of justifying her actions, no matter how stupid, or petty, or mean, or evil they may be. And no one would really expect that of her. Like she portrays herself as a sweet girls girl that could NEVER betray someone that she considers her best friend. Like even though her friend confided in her about how toxic her relationship was, and Penny goes after the boyfriend anyways she’s still not in the wrong there were other variables that had to do with her decision she promises!! She hides things and pretends and finds the thrill of trying to get his attention, acting as if nothing is going on, and still maintaining the friendships that she kinda has no value in other than wanting to seem likable by befriending these people.

Shes going to get what she wants. No matter what. AND she’s going to play the victim throughout. It’s going to take a lot for her to realize she messed up but what can you do? Like sad for her but sorta inevitable. She brought it upon herself.

Maru-Kat Hernandez

From what I’ve seen Kat gives off very insecure vibes. Like she could be smart(I honestly don’t know) she’s pretty, just just what people call “fat” and while being fat isn’t a bad thing I think it’s an insecurity for her especially because her friends are all skinny. And while Maru’s body is up for interpretation(I do think she’s a lil chubby bc it’s cute) I think she’d be insecure in terms of anything other than her intelligence. Like sure she’s not ugly but she doesn’t put effort into her appearance like her friends do. And that doesn’t really get her any attention, not the attention she wishes she got, and having a father like Demetrius doesn’t help anything.

I do think it would take something drastic to get Maru out of her shell similar to Kat, and I do also think she’d be a good friend, like NO do NOT fight her!! Let’s calm down!! Type of friend. I do see Maru having a glow up type thing and coming out of her shell, but the personality she comes into seems kinda fake and as if she’s trying to act like her friends instead of being her own thing.

Maru gives off very follower type vibes, and again I haven’t watched Euphoria, and Kat is very….follower-y like she’s always around Maddy and is trying to be confident like her but really she’s just insecure and fears rejection.

Abigail- Jules Vaughn

Abigail would totally be the mysterious person that catches everyone’s eye when she appears. I mean personally when I first played the game I thought she was VERY pretty(until she annoyed me bc 1 heart convos are dumb and I found out she was paired with seb lmao) and I’m pretty sure literally EVERYONE (other than some people) is attracted to Jules.

Like she’s hooking up with people, dating, just being a very entrancing person and I think Abby could fit the role if she was more into the mysterious sexy vibe instead of the gothic(?) gamer girl vibe y’know? Like she’s there for the drama and laughing at it and she’s trying to not be a part of it until she’s breaking up with someone or sleeping with someone she shouldn’t

Sorry hers is short I just think the others fit more.

Shane-Rue Bennett

Rue is a teenage drug addict that is struggling to get clean, and honestly probably doesn’t even really want to because of how many mental problems she’s burdened by. Like I looked it up very briefly but I saw OCD, severe anxiety disorder, I think BPD like there’s a lot going on in her mind along with I’m pretty sure her father being dead. I just think she’s straight up not having a good time and while getting clean might be a good idea and the best road to go down, the fact is getting high probably feels better and is easier to do in order to deal with her issues. Shane is the same unfortunately, he’s an alcoholic that is just taking every day one by one but not very well. He works in a dead end job and lives with his aunt in a small boring ass town that probably doesn’t take mental health seriously seeing as the other alcoholic in the town was the towns bus driver before she crashed, and when the bus gets fixed they give her back the job instead of getting both of them help. Like they supply them with the beer and everything because making money is better than trying to rid them of their habits, and literally Pam and Penny live in a shitty ass trailer when literally everyone else(other than Linus) live in a good ass house. Like these two are similar with the fact that they are STRUGGLING and most people just see them as addicts instead of people who need help.

I also think that Shane would cause a distraction to get away from everyone trying to help bc it is too much to deal with at one time, like Rue and calling Cassie out about sleeping with Nate in front of everyone then taking off. I do think that Shane could be a very good friend outside of his alcoholism and is willing to get help. Also from what I’ve seen Rue might be high but she doesn’t lie(maybe she does idk) and I think Shane would be the same. Like yeah he’s drunk af and wants to die and he’s a little sarcastic but he’s not going to lie to you at all.

Elliott- Lexi Howard

All I know about Lexi is that she’s a writer and made a whole play about whatever was going on around her without anyone knowing, then putting it into production with the school again without telling the people it’s about. Like she’s just watching and taking notes and I think it’s funny. Because I feel like it’s something Elliott would do.

Is he a part of the drama? Nope! He’s standing back and watching everything burn while thinking to himself that this novel is going to be an absolute masterpiece because real tragedies are better than ones you make up. Also I do think he gives off that he would fall for someone that is the complete opposite of him, like how Lexi falls for a drug dealer(?). Like yeah his love life has to be something out of a book too. Nothing plain for him.

Alex- Nate Jacobs

I think this is self explanatory? Like who else would be Nate? Sebastian? Sam? HARVEY? Let’s bffr

Like Alex would be a popular guy in school(is he popular? Nate I mean?) and honestly while I don’t think Alex would be toxic and abusive especially bc of his upbringing, but I can see an alternative universe where he was raised by his shitty dad and became shitty in response.

Like high school football player who is toxic towards women as a result of his fathers influence and is probably obsessed with his now ex girlfriend and is trying to find what he had with her(even if it was fucked up) with someone who wishes they were her.

Like does he love the new girlfriend? No. But does he like the ego boost he gets from her? Yes. Dating someone who is so willing to change themself for him in ways that he this is comical and a little sad makes him feel good and somewhat fills the void. Especially when that person will let him treat them whatever way he wants including breaking up with them and getting back and everything he’s going to stay with them(I mean more like keeping them close to him) because he knows that he needs something that takes his mind off of how much he actually hates himself.

[documentme]

During the full moon in May, this is how it unfolds.

We’ve all seen it—the glamorous influencer on screen, fingers flying across a keyboard, serving outfits, pouring out wisdom that changes lives. It’s magnetic. For years, that image whispered to me: *“You could do this too.”* But between the flicker of inspiration and the first blank page stood a wall: anxiety’s relentless “what ifs,” ADHD’s carnival of distractions, and a decade of societal storms that left me—and so many of us—feeling cynical.

Let’s be real. The last ten years haven’t been kind. Politics became a battleground, ethical lines in business blurred, and the American Dream started to feel like a rigged game. I navigated it all cautiously—opting for community college and certificates over debt, clinging to frugality like a life raft. Yet here I am, daring to want more: stability, freedom, a mind not haunted by “what’s next.” Is it selfish to dream bigger in a world that feels fractured? Maybe. But what if hunger isn’t ingratitude? What if it’s the spark to rebuild?

This blog is my rebellion against despair. Instead of adding to the noise, I’m carving space for light—starting with a couple overlooked gifts that keep me hopeful. Because even in the echo chambers, a single honest voice can shift the air. Let’s begin.

My 20s? Let’s call them the “Great Disillusionment.” That wide-eyed kid who once mapped out grand futures—filmmaker, tv executive, politician or whatever *felt* like freedom—slowly dimmed. Reality hit like a rogue boss battle: the confidence I’d worn like armor? Turns out, it was stitched together with childhood naivety. And that existential dread I’d carried since I first understood mortality? It wasn’t just a shadow anymore—it was the wallpaper of my adulthood.

Growing up, “What do you want to be?” wasn’t small talk to me. It was a cosmic puzzle I turned over for years. I craved work that felt like play, purpose that didn’t pinch. But without a map, I wandered—into jobs that paid bills but starved my spirit. So I escaped. Enter: Nintendo’s neon-lit worlds. After shifts spent counting minutes, I’d collapse onto the couch, Switch in hand, and let Hyrule heal me. *Breath of the Wild* wasn’t just a game; it was therapy. Roaming pixelated meadows, solving shrines, pretending I wasn’t just avoiding my own unresolved quests.

Here’s the twist: I’m a terrible gamer. When Lynels attack or puzzles taunt, my palms sweat. I quit for weeks, months, until courage (or boredom) drags me back. Yet, in those frazzled pauses, I’d fantasize: *Could this be more?* Not just survival, but a lifeline—streaming, creating, turning joy into currency. A pipe dream? Maybe. But isn’t that how all revolutions start?. Still, I return to the heart of it: Does joy *need* justification? Those nights laughing with Animal Crossing villagers, or fist-pumping a hard-won Zelda dungeon—they kept me tethered when the “real world” frayed. Maybe community isn’t in grand gestures, but in shared obsessions over racing games and Luigi’s latest antic. Perhaps meaning isn’t a destination, but rather the spark we nurture by valuing the small moments that might seem like a waste of time.

So here’s my confession: I don’t have answers. But I’m done dismissing the things that keep me alive even if it was in the matrix.

Let’s name the villain here: late-stage capitalism, with its cheat codes rigged against us. At 30, I’m not leveling up in life or parenthood—I’m grinding as a security guard like Link in Hyrule fields just to afford kibble for my cats. Let that sink in. In a “prosperous” society, my wins are measured in *pet food stability*. The math isn’t mathing. They told us, “Work hard, play by the rules,” but forgot to mention the rules keep changing. Now, the same system gaslights us into accepting scraps as feasts, marketing grit as enlightenment. *“Lower your expectations!* *Isn’t burnout chic?”*

I rage at the absurdity: a decade of spinning my wheels, watching the dream of security morph into a dystopian side quest. Why *should* I apologize for finding family in pets instead of children? My pets aren’t “placeholders”—they’re my companions in resistance. Loving them fiercely isn’t a compromise; it’s a manifesto. If the economy won’t let me nurture a human child without drowning in guilt (or debt), I’ll pour that love into creatures who won't be affected about my credit score. And let’s dismantle the shame. So what if my “family” has whiskers. This isn’t failure—it’s adaptation. Survival mode isn’t a flaw; it’s the badge of a generation forced to play life on hard mode. We’re the architects of new definitions: *family*, *success*, *being enough*.

So here’s my rebellion: I refuse to grieve not being able to afford children. The system may be broken, but my joy isn’t. Next time you see me teaching my cat to ride a scooter instead of browsing baby names, know this—it’s not failure. It’s practice for the bigger fight if the economy ever allows it. Now they want us to submit our own children to uncertain social economic hardships. Corrupt elected officials wish to ruin the economy to make us so desperate to accept to have children in exchange of a one time 5 thousand payment while child care is over 10k a year. The audacity of the people put in places to improve our live is straight out the villains in the video games I play.

As I grapple with my own despair, I’m embarking on my journey as a writer, here is a new blog entry. My goal? To expand my horizons and explore a wide range of topics that inspire and intrigue. I dream of creating content that not only captivates but also resonates with readers, bringing them joy and entertainment. Join me on this adventure as I strive to craft stories and insights that truly matter!

[yakuzacanons]

Hello there 🌷

I really appreciate your work 💖 enjoying every single post hehe ☺️

Can I request hcs, how the boys would react when they find out that s/p has cheated on them? (like s/o has been lonely bc the boys are always busy...) Thank you in advance. Have a nice day 🍀

Sorry for the late response, this one is going to be tricky. I don't think there's really ever a good reason to cheat so I won't be justifying why the boys get cheated on, but I will cover how they react to it. Having said that, this one will be fairly brief but I hope you like it. Headcanons below the cut as always.

Also, first time introducing Shinada to the gang. Get hyped.

Kazuma Kiryu

Disappointed more than anything. Kiryu doesn't ask for much and always does his best and in the end he will blame himself for your infidelity. He won't outright end things but he'll never be the same. Eventually, he will break it off down the line as he feels the trust is shattered and no matter how much time has passed, he can't shake the feeling that it could happen again.

Majima Goro

Hope you're ready to get ghosted if you cheat on this man because that is absolutely what will happen. The second Majima finds out, he's gone. You won't see or hear from him again. There's no if, and, or but about it. After all it took for him to open up and trust you, you broke him. That's exactly what he was always afraid of and you just proved him right.

Akiyama Shun

Goes straight into denial mode. Might actually BEG you to stay because he'll blame himself for not giving you enough. Mostly, he blames his trauma from past relationships. Chances are you won't hear from him for a couple of days because he'll go into a little depression hermit crisis mode. He'll stick around to try to make it work but you can tell his energy is totally sapped from the relationship.

Saejima Taiga

Doesn't get mad, just gets distant. Out of all the boys, he's most likely to try to forgive you for this. He may even actually "get over it", in a sense that the thought of it doesn't upset him much anymore. However, he will be noticeably more distant. He won't call or text as much and when he does, his replies will be much shorter. He'll be less open with you.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Gets dejected as hell. He knows he's a busy man but damn if he didn't try his best only for it not to be enough. Very inexperienced with love and chances are you are his first or second relationship ever, so it's a huge blow to him. Will try to hide how upset he feels to make things work but he's terrible at hiding it. Cries himself to sleep when he first finds out.

Ryuji Goda

He'll just break up with you on the spot. If you're living together, he'll arrange for one of his employees to pack your things and drive you into Sotenbori. He won't even see you out the door. He is hurt but it's more so that he feels all the work he's put into the relationship was a waste of time and Ryuji hates to waste his time and energy. Moves on the quickest out of all the boys.

Nishikiyama Akira

Will never stop asking why, even if he stops asking you directly and out loud, he will never stop wondering why it happened. It's a huge blow to his confidence. He will become much more timid because he's afraid of doing something that will cause you to cheat again because he thinks it's his fault. Will likely ghost you slowly over time.

Daigo Dojima

He'll cry when he's entirely alone. Things are so hard for Daigo as is. He is trying very hard to not let this break him. Will try to salvage the relationship but he's also not trusting of you at all so it'll end up being a sleeping-in-separate rooms situation, all the while he stares at the ceiling late at night wishing it could be the way it was again. Daigo genuinely panics and feels trapped, wondering what he could've done, if he can prevent this from happening, and if he even wants to bother trying anymore. The chances of him leaving you are low, so he'll likely let himself get cheated on again unfortunately.

Mine Yoshitaka

King of giving you the cold shoulder. He won't shut you out entirely but if you want to fix things, you will have to WORK at it. Mine's logically driven so he'll be watching to see if you can prove that this relationship is what you want. It's basically like winning his heart over from the very start all over again.

Tatsuo Shinada

Only one of the boys to cry outright upon hearing the news. Will be inconsolable. Cries loud and hard. He'll let you decide what to do with the relationship because once this happens, he just doesn't care anymore. He's so dejected and hurt that if you wanted to leave, it wouldn't bother him because he's already feeling his lowest. If you decide to stay, it will take a LOT of reassurance to get him back to himself in any capacity.

[oblivious-aro]

⭐

Despite being chronologically the first thing that happens, "Girl Talk" was actually the last thing I wrote for the fic. I did want to include that scene in the initial fic, but Where the Sky Meets the Sea actually starts during episode 4, and the Misako scene's all the way back in episode 1, so the pacing felt weird.

But it ended up being a little bonus prequel thing, so yay!

It was pretty wild writing Jay back at the beginning of his arc after I'd just finished writing him experiencing personal growth. Like, I literally went from writing Jay apologizing to Nya, to Jay doing a microagression on Zane XD.

But enough about Jay, I want to talk about Misako!

Misako's attitude in this scene was partially based on the attitudes I hear from a lot of the older women in my life. Specifically the "boys are just dumb like that" vibe. Everyone's got their coping mechanisms.

Even though the original scene obviously sucked, I did kind of like the idea of Misako giving Nya advice that leaves her feeling unsatisfied. Not that she's necessarily given bad advice, and just having someone in her corner trying to support her is the big thing for Nya, but Misako's words weren't exactly the most comforting to hear.

There's the undercurrent "if we knew how to stop sexism completely then we would have done it already", and Misako's years of experiences and blunt personality very much shape how she specifically deals with Ninjago's sexism.

Misako doesn't mean to be callous with Nya, she's just a very frank person who likes to cut to the chase.

She strikes me as someone who prioritizes efficiency and effectiveness over respectability or comfort. Practicality over social acceptibility. The obvious example in canon is essentially abandoning Lloyd to research the green ninja prophecy. It seems like pretty extreme action, but it's clearly done out of love, and she does find essential information for the fight. You can understand her actions, and also understand why Lloyd would be mad at her.

I may have been kind of cheating by using the explorers club, since it wasn't introduced until a couple of seasons after Skybound, but sue me. When it was revealed in the show that Misako was a member of the explorer's club, it's when her membership has been discontinued, and when asked about this, Misako doesn't seem to care about getting kicked out and goes into a mini disdain fueled rant about how the club is run generally (I can't find the line, but I'm 95% sure it happened).

They never really say why Misako joined the club, but I've inferred it was for the resources, but once Lloyd had fulfilled the green ninja prophecy she was no longer on a time limit, she was done putting up with the club's bullshit. When she was on a time limit however, she quickly learned how to compartmentalize and put up with the club's nonsense so she could focus as much time and energy on circumventing the green ninja prophecy.

I feel like after spending so many years in the club, she'd rather just move on from that organization than stay any longer and try to fight an uphill battle of reformation.

Not that she doesn't want to stand up to sexist jerks and support women generally (she 100% has a soft spot for Nya), she's just had enough of the explorer's club for a lifetime. Although you can definitely see some of the attitude and coping mechanisms she learned from the club in what she says to Nya.

Man, the writers really dropped the ball with Misako. She's so interesting.

[crawlspacefics]

If it’s okay, i’d like to ask 4,5 and 17. And if you want 21.

Thank you for asking! Now let's see...

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

Fanart.  There’s an extremely creative fandom out there, and I’m lucky enough to be able to virtually orbit some incredible artists who spark creativity and inspire me to add to the collective in my small way.

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

Sailormoon.  It’s 2023 and it’s still the only fandom I’ve posted anything for.  

17. What were your go-to writing snacks?

Coffee!  Decaf more often than not. When I’m writing at a cafe, I usually go for something cold, like cold brew with sweet cream or something that looks more like a milkshake than a coffee.  If it’s my favorite local place, I’ll throw in an egg and cheese biscuit.  When I’m at home, it’s usually hot with a bit of flavored creamer.  (Of course coffee is a snack…)

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This one is tough and I’m going to cheat a bit in a couple of ways.

Favorite that’s posted, because this was just fun: 

After a deep breath, Pluto put on a social smile and spoke evenly, “Hello.  I’m aware this is going to sound odd coming without any context, but I need you to put that creature down and move away quickly.  Please.”

Kaya huffed.  “Really?”

A small sigh escaped Pluto’s lips.  “This is a complicated matter that I lack the time to explain, but very much need to resolve.  Again, please, I need you to…”

“Okay, look,” interrupted Kaya, taking her finger from the kirkri and ignoring its protesting squeak.  She then held her hand up in a stop gesture.  “I’m not going to judge the cosplay.  We like dressing up sometimes in the mystery club, too, so I get it.  But there is a line, and running around in costume at 10 at night chasing harmless critter to play out your anime battle fantasy kinda crosses it.”

Pluto’s eyebrows rose.  She crossed her arms, letting her staff rest casually against her shoulder as she observed the kirkri grow more agitated because it couldn’t pull back Kaya’s finger.  With a slightly amused half-grin, she returned, “I’m not going to argue with you because, quite frankly, we don’t have time for it.  In about 30 seconds that ‘harmless critter’ is going to start shooting off sparks.  It will then grow to more than twice your height and attempt to steal away all of your life energy, leaving you a gray, empty husk.”

Kaya’s mouth dropped open.  “You… you really need to lay off the Saturday morning cartoons.  Being part of the anime club is all well and good, but you’re a university student, for pete’s sake.  And was that a dig at my height?”  Her indignance showed as she stood a little straighter.  “I may not be an Amazon in heels, but I am by no means sh… huh, what the…”

Favorite that isn’t posted yet (because I love Outers Family Stuff): 

The glass door sliding open brought Setsuna back to her present situation.  Haruka, her hair a bit tousled and the t-shirt covering her blue, turtle-print boyshorts a bit rumpled, dropped down into the chair across from her.  She took a long draw off her coffee before sighing and leveling her gaze at Setsuna.

“I rolled over this morning and came face-to-face with a miniature human calling me ‘Haruka-papa,’” she said flatly.  “When I planned out our date night yesterday, that was not how I was supposed to wake up.”

Setsuna chuckled.  “‘Setsuna-mama’ did throw me off a bit when I first heard it.  But Hotaru seems quite pleased with it given how many times she’s repeated it this morning.”

Haruka huffed, a corner of her mouth turning up and an amused glint in her eyes.  “You have no idea what you’ve actually done, do you?  Whatever this new evil is we’re fighting, it’s nothing compared to Michiru when she’s made up her mind she wants something.”  She laughed, the sound cheerful in the morning breeze.  “She’s never letting either of you go ever again.”

A tiny knock on the glass caused them both to turn around.  Hotaru pressed her hands and face against the glass, as though she were peering at them from a great distance.  Then she giggled and called out loudly so she’d be heard through a door she’d been told not to open on her own, “Haruka-papa!  Michiru-mama says to come get the first pancake!”

With a chuckle, Haruka rose from her seat.  “Glad to see my place hasn’t been completely usurped.”  She opened the door and ruffled the toddler’s hair before the girl ran out to Setsuna.

Climbing into Setsuna’s lap, Hotaru sat facing her.  “May I have tea?” she asked, reaching for the cup in Setsuna’s hands before she had an answer.

Holding the cup a bit more firmly, Setsuna let the girl place her hands over hers and helped her take a sip.  She grinned at the little grimace and the way Hotaru’s lips smacked before she hissed out “hothothot.”

“Maybe we can find you something else in the kitchen,” suggested Setsuna.

Hotaru nodded, then placed her hands on Setsunan’s cheeks.  “Thank you for coming to get me.  I was happy to see you, and I’m going to enjoy my new life.”

Setsuna blinked in surprise.  Then just as quickly as the clarity had appeared, it was gone.  The girl smooshed her mama's cheeks in circles, laughing mightily at the way this made Setsuna’s lips purse.

“You come get pancakes, too, Setsuna-mama,” said Hotaru as Setsuna gently stopped the child’s play.  “Michiru-mama cut up a banana for me.  I bet she’ll do one for you.”

“That would be very nice,” answered Setsuna as she rose.  She lifted Hotaru and settled her on her hip, realizing belatedly she didn’t have enough hands for both teacup and teapot.  At least Haruka had left the door open for her.  She could come back for the teapot when it was time for a refill.  Before taking Hotaru inside, she glanced one more time over the city.  

Just a little longer.

Favorite from a repost (because I love this Minako): 

Artemis squinted against the sudden burst of artificial light that engulfed the room.  When he could see again, Minako was quickly rooting through a pile on the floor.  She emerged triumphant with a duffle bag and proceeded to immediately begin filling it with clothes.

“Mina, what are you doing?” asked Artemis, sure he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I’m packing,” answered Minako as she continued to fill her bag.  “I suggest you do the same thing, if there’s anything you want to bring with you.  I don’t know if we’ll be coming back.”

“Where do you think we’re going?”

“To Rei’s.  Don’t ask silly questions.”

Artemis sighed.  He understood her wanting to do this, but had to at least try and talk some logic into her impulsiveness.  “Running away isn’t going to solve things, Mina,” he said gently.

Minako paused in her frantic packing.  “I know, Artemis,” she said quietly.  “But it can’t make things much worse.  Don’t you understand?  This isn’t my home anymore.  Rei is.  And Fate can’t wash your back if you don’t give It any soap.”

“Mina?”

“Setsuna told me once that nothing happens by accident,” explained Minako.  “Fate set up everything so we would become Senshi when we were supposed to.  And Fate gave me Rei.  I have no doubt that on my 20th birthday, I’ll be able to stand beside her, regardless of what happens between then and now.  That’s Fate.  What happens in the three years between then and now, though, that’s up to me.  If I’m supposed to be somewhere else, then that’s what will happen.  But I refuse to just sit by and let everything happen to me without at least trying to fight for what’s mine.  I’m going home, Artemis.”

[renee-writer]

The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 19

AO3

“I should feel angrier, betrayed, hurt,” She keeps her eyes on the road as she talks, “my husband is cheating and mostly what I feel is relief. I never really loved him. Not the way a wife should her husband. My anger comes from the who not the what. How screwed up is that?” she chuckles darkly.

 

“I was furious at Anna but not for the reasons I should have been. I was angry for my girls and for twenty stolen years. I want to hurt Randall for hurting Janet and you. I want to hurt Anna for us, for what she did to us.” He confesses. His injured hand is cradled to his chest and she drives slow, avoiding jarring it as much as possible.

 

“He married me to increase his line, to have a heir. How ironic that he couldn’t. He blamed me, at first but it was him. We had tests done.” She slowly turns and they are halfway there. The first part of the trip was taken in silence. To much to say to say anything, “He doesn’t love me either. We became each other’s habit.”

 

“I’m sorry. You know why I married Anna.  Seems we are both free of our bad decisions.”  And she can have babies, he adds deep in his heart. The thought thrills him even as he tempers his enthusiasm. Freedom doesn’t mean that she wants him. There is twenty years and a gigantic fight to consider.

 

“Yes. I  can stop pretending with him. The mask of a contented couple has been ripped off. If it wasn’t for Janet, I would be glad.”

 

“Me too.” They are at a light and she turns to him.

 

“Not the right time or place but, I never stopped loving you. I don’t know if you feel the same, if this can work, but, I wanted you to know.”

 

The light changes and she starts driving again.

 

“Pull over.” His voice is hoarse. She does in the car park of a grocer.  As soon as she stops the car, he takes her face in his injured hand. Meeting her eyes, “I need to kiss you Claire. May I?”

 

 

“Yes,” She breaths out. He captures it in his mouth and several others as the kisses her. She places her hand on the back of his neck and deepens it. Tongues twist together, joyous tears fall, as the kiss, twenty years denied, says all they haven’t been able to yet.

 

“Aye, I love you, Claire. I always have and always will. As soon as we have dealt with our spouses, I would love to take you out.”

 

She presses her forehead to his. They share a smile. “I would like that very much.”

[bisluthq]

My unpopular opinion is you don’t need to be exes to waltz back into rekindled flames if your relationship has been on and off life support for 18 months (still a committed couple, but a dying relationship). Like when you get to that point that it’s fizzling out and you both want it back, the rekindling can be magical and you’ve got butterflies again and it’s with someone you know so well, so it’s all very safe and cozy, there’s none of that fear of falling in love with someone for the first time because you’ve woken up next to them for years and know how they take their tea or coffee and know their habits and tells. It’s safe.

It’s like everything described in Labyrinth - that feeling like your relationship is crashing and they show up just in time and make you fall in love with them all over again. It’s beautiful when it happens and feels like a relief.

But it needs consistent effort and momentum and not just a few gestures, or the plane just goes right back down again. And I do think the Joever was ripping off a Band-Aid and just had to be done after a while.

I go back and forth over the muse of loml because it can apply to Joe or matty in how I perceive the story being told. But I also think it can be about neither one specifically too. Was it safe to pick matty who may have said he’d marry her within a year instead of being starry eyed with Joe, even if the stars are from the past when their rs was better? Or is she referring to tatty 1.0 and even though she was starry eyed for him then, as she mentions in Chloe & co, he was a lot and she couldn’t watch it, so she chose not to be with him and be “safe” instead (metaphorically for her heart and also literally with mental health knowing when to step away from someone if you can’t handle their life).

If we didn’t know any of the lore and this was her debut album about normies as muses, I think the interpretations could be different. We have some context, but I just find it interesting from a writing perspective that it could apply to multiple men from her past with hints of them in there, but nothing screaming a defining characteristic or situation (compared to SLL or TSMWEL which seemingly have clear baby daddies).

She also tends to personify a feeling a lot, which helps make her songs relatable even with Uber specific details. So the “I’ll see you until I die” could even be her talking to her grief that was so crushing she thought she’d die multiple times. More likely she imagined growing up and dying alone and being on her death bed seeing one particular face, sort of like if the prophecy and fortnight collided, but that’s what’s so cool about her, she doesn’t hold back and she isn’t afraid to say exactly how she feels OR embellish it and compare herself to a woman gone mad who will fantasise about killing her cheating husband and dumping his body in a swamp in Florida, or killing her soul mate’s perfect wife, or comparing herself to legends or characters in ancient mythology to express herself. Obviously I’m a fan, but she’s such an interesting writer it’s hard to think anything she says is ever at face value, even when it’s something like a line from invisible string where the grass was green which is very much a face value lyric lol

okay I agree with this and love this take! I never thought about the rekindled flames as that moment when things actually go well when generally they’re going badly and I still don’t know that it’s that just based on the rest of the song lol but you’re absolutely right, that’s a fair feeling and perhaps there are deeper ways of looking at that song that I’ve been missing!

[sohardboiled]

Lately, I’ve been realizing a lot of things.

I need to focus more on myself rather than my relationships with others. Focusing on the latter has affected me negatively, to the point where I struggle to be productive. When I’m not busy, I tend to find something to obsess over. I remember hearing someone say that if you’re not busy enough, you end up focusing on other things. I need to develop discipline and concentrate fully on my goals. There are so many areas I need to work on, but I can’t seem to make progress because of poor decisions and irrational behavior.

I came across a quote a couple of days ago: “Wherever you go, there you are.” It struck me deeply because it’s so true. No matter where I go, I can’t escape the different versions of myself — good or bad, happy or sad. All these aspects of me are always present. I have a habit of trying to run away from my problems, often by avoiding them or hoping they’ll go away on their own. I remember back in first-year college, we had to draw various apparatuses in chemistry class. There was one that I found difficult and wanted to skip, but I ended up drawing it anyway. I thought, why avoid it? It’s better to face it now than to come back to it later. This simple task made me realize something deeper. I used to approach challenges right away no matter how intimidating it was because of that way of thinking, but lately, I’ve been running from them. The quote reminds me that no matter where I go, I can’t escape my problems. It’s about how I choose to view and deal with my current situation and how it affects me.

The place I live in the most is my own mind. I need to make it a kinder, healthier, and more loving space. I believe we often listen more to our own thoughts than to others, especially those around us. Over the past year, I’ve been even more doubting myself and questioning my capabilities. I frequently ask, “What if I can’t do it?” or “What if I’m not good enough?” even harsher questions like “Why am I not enough?” or “Why was I born like this?” have been tormenting me. I’ve been much harder on myself than anyone else, and I think this self-criticism is why I haven’t made much progress. I tend to focus on the negatives instead of pushing myself to improve. It’s okay to criticize ourselves for growth, but my mind can be too harsh. I hope to learn to be kinder and more supportive to myself.

I need to choose my battles. I came across a post about things we can and cannot control: the past, the future, the actions of others, what people think of us, and what happens around us. These areas have consumed a lot of my energy this year, especially after being betrayed by someone I love. I feel foolish for staying loyal and loving wholeheartedly, not realizing they were being unfaithful. Some might downplay it, but cheating, regardless of its scale, is still betrayal to me. It’s something I take personally because I know I would never do that to someone I love. That said, I need to decide whether to stay in misery, dwell on the “whys” and “what ifs,” or accept that things happen for a reason. I need to pick myself up, live for myself, and not for others. It’s up to me to choose whether to be upset or to find the silver lining. This is MY life, after all.

I’ve always considered myself a girl’s girl. While I can’t be certain if I’ve ever caused another woman pain, I can confidently say I’ve never done so intentionally. I’ve never set out to hurt another woman, especially knowing how painful that can be. I’m not perfect, and I may have said things in the past that I’ve since forgotten, but I can’t bring myself to discuss matters that could cause harm to another woman. No matter how hurt I am, I just can’t. Perhaps it’s because I empathize with them, imagining how I’d feel if the roles were reversed. Even if others don’t know what’s said behind their backs, it doesn’t make it right.

[spjohnv-blog]

Great analysis on both posts/points here.

One of the things that really sets early and new SP apart to me is how the adult characters are used. The first two seasons actually use adult characters a lot, but Garrison is the more omnipresent adult and even then it's shorter scenes - and Jimbo, Ned, Chef, Barbrady, the Mayor, Mephesto, Mackey, Maxi, and so forth do a lot of the rest. Each of these characters is wacky and has sort of a 'shtick' to them, some traits that lend to joke automatically, although each of them has moments of reason too, while the parents at this point are more secondary adults. When Stan's clone rampages, his parents are sort of a distant threat, but Jimbo, Garrison and so forth are already right there.

These early adults appear to be single adults with no responsibilities and who know the kids and are friendly because it's a small town. Jimbo shares a surprising number of jokes with what future Randy will become - drinking a lot, killing animals, get-rich-quick schemes, attacking liberals, paternal figure to Stan - but Ned is his comedic straight man, as opposed to having a wife or child along who are clearly annoyed with him. Garrison also has some protoRandy and protoCartman behavior too here. Mr. Hat is a lot like Mitch Conner, Garrison is the first adult to smoke weed, and he was and still is the usual token racist among the adults.

It's around seasons five and six you start seeing the earlier, wackier adults get slightly downplayed and the secondary parents start taking over alongside the core ones, and then for a while the joke becomes the wacky parents are up to something, often some fad, while the Mayor, Chef, and Barbrady become less wacky and behave more like authority figures, while Jimbo and Ned start to fade back and so forth. Even though Butters', Craig's, Tolkien's, and Clyde's parents join the main four's parents, they're still pretty undeveloped here and generic, and Tweek's Dad loses his initial distinctive seasons 2-3 shtick with the metaphors and forgetfulness.

There's a further progression I think between, say, season 6's "Child Abduction is Not Funny" to season 7's "All About Mormons", where we jump from all of the parents all being in on the fad or thing of the week to it just being Randy and the Marsh family without the rest of the town, and then we start to move towards season 9 where Randy is carrying plots by himself... by which point the Mayor, Jimbo, Barbrady, and Chef are showing up maybe once a season at best and get a couple of lines. They aren't a focal point or joke vehicles.

Since then, we've sort of gone down to... okay, the dads are being stupid, almost all of them drink alcohol, do hard drugs, and might cheat on their wives, the moms may participate this week or the other week the moms are wiser and smarter, the moms are always super annoyed by the husbands but probably not much better if a joke calls for it, and the kids are absolutely suffering their parents' actions, but also doomed to become their parents. The other adults get left behind except for Garrison and occasionally Jimbo, whose main purpose feels like "it's Matt's turn to talk".

Randy has in the process of becoming a main character soaked up what used to be other adults' defining traits. Kenny's Dad was always said to be an alcoholic since the early seasons, but the episode "Bloody Mary" established Randy as an alcoholic and this has stuck, making Stuart's alcoholism redundant and making him mostly pretty redundant. While Mr. Tweek was unethical in running his business in "Gnomes" and "Stick of Truth", this has almost never come up again and it's been Randy who has now spent multiple seasons going to far greater lengths to hurt people for money. Everything bad Richard has done could pretty much be swapped with Randy. Kyle and Stan directly compare Kyle's mom's protests (as if they still happen off-screen despite not being seen in 20+ years) and Stan's dad's behavior in "Holiday Special", probably explaining why Sheila doesn't do that anymore. Far less pressing examples, but Mephesto was the town's first scientist, but in "Spontaneous Combustion", Randy is referred to as the town's only scientist, and in the early seasons Jimbo and Ned killed animals, but again, in "Let Them Eat Goo" we see Randy kill a ton of cows played for laughs.

In comparison, Stuart and Richard tend to be pretty generic dads now if they aren't imitating Randy, Sheila is a generic mom most of the time, Mephesto isn't a part of the regular show, and Jimbo gets a couple lines here and there. Randy can do all of their jobs for the show, so they are only needed to act as support for him or for a little bit of fan service.

The bitter part of this is almost every character has kind of boiled down to some bit of this format. The dads are obvious - a lot of episodes where they hang out now, they're Randy clones. No different perspectives, no 'smart one', no 'clean one'. Steve Black's a little different in season 25 but we've seen him as a drinking buddy before that. Randy is greedy as was Mr. Tweek years ago. As fun as it is to see the moms take center stage, in both "Turd Burglars" and "The End of Obesity", they all act pretty much the same and identical. Petty 'bitch' stereotypes who care about their looks only. There is no one that is smarter or one that is stronger or have different ideologies or ideas. Tweek's and Craig's moms have previously played voices of reason but here, just as stupid. Sharon and Sheila are a bit different but Sharon still trends towards being willing to do whatever Randy is just more competently in both recent specials.

I think this even affects the kids, to be honest. There's been quite a few episodes in the last decade or so where the kids act as a larger unit but their individuality disappears or is limited. I know it sounds dumb to have a character say a catchphrase in any given situation, but the opposite extreme is when you could switch between any character and the dialogue is exactly the same. Do "Obama Wins!" or "Holiday Special" change much if you swap kids around? They do a little, sure. "Bass to Mouth" has a couple bits that matter, mostly the Stan-Wendy-Kenny runner, but a lot that could be anyone.

The shift from surreal humor and the characters all having their own wacky traits to social satire has lead to them phasing out the early gag characters but also sort of genricized a lot of the characters over time to serve the 'social' aspect. The dated catchphrases and running jokes seemed cliche but really went a way to help the characters stand out a little more individually, but now more often kids are kids, dads are dads, women are women, and everyone is kind of everyone. A lot of absurdity is maximizing everyone doing the same thing but the one character who doesn't.

This post probably sounds like a bitter "ergh, early seasons better" and I guess it kind of is, I hate to sound so mean. There are episodes that benefit a lot from these changes in specific.

Hey, not sure if you'll respond but I wanted to know what you think about this. I know people have said their two cents with Randy but I just wanted to state my issue with him. I think the main problem with him is that they use him for plots that are better suited for other adult characters. For example, it makes perfect sense for Shelia to be the Karen for Streaming Wars' plot, and in Not Safe For Children it could have been Liane or Mr. Garrison for the OnlyFans plot line because it makes the most sense. Yet for all of these plots they made Randy the main character for them while reducing the other adults to boring generic background extras who are toned down and only Randy is allowed to be a character. Heck, someone even argued that they toned down Cartman to where it can be argued that Randy is the main antagonist for the show. I know it's been stated a lot that they relate to Randy more but why not use the other adults more? Thankfully, The End Of Obesity changed it to where the moms were the main crazy parents whereas Randy was being his old self. I really hope for the next season we get more of the other adults being absurd and funny and not Randy replacing another adult character with a plot that would be better suited for them. What do you think?

You know, I didn't think of it that way before, but it makes a ton of sense to me. I would totally agree that Randy's character has been shoehorned into plots better suited for other adult characters, and the episodes where he is truly suited for the plot are where he shines and isn't quite so grating. I completely agree that Cartman has been toned down to try and make Randy look more absurd/stupid/etc, and that a lot of the focus has been drawn away from the child characters to the adults, specifically just Randy. And I get it, M+T have been on record talking about how they relate more to the adults now that they've gotten older. And that's fine. But I agree, if we're gonna go that route, I'd love to see more variety in the adults for plots that suit them and not just the Randy Show.

[pathfinderlittleduck]

First Lines

@briarfox13 has some good tagged things that I've decided to steal do.

Sierra One Hundred Seventeen | Halo 4 - Master Chief

He stands there silent, staring at the armor bay's gyroscope.

Axios! Ch. 1 | Halo: Reach (post) - Jun A266

Crossing over the threshold of his door had become an exhausting task. All it took was putting one foot in front of the other.

Axios! Ch. 2 | Halo: Landfall - Lt. Frëja Luka Sylvän Kirch E241

Bright light from the mid-morning sun cuts through the tattered canvas sheet I hung up in the window the previous night. I was desperate, alone, separated from my fireteam and I needed to get out of sight.

Good luck, Sir | Halo 4/5, Red vs Blue - Jun A266, Freelancer Vermont

The words echo in Jun's head, louder than the hum coming from the ship's systems. The UNSC Infinity, that's where he is now; and he hates it.

A Private Moment On Deck | Fallout 4 - Nate x Maxson

"I TOLD you I had it!” Danse yells across the war table. His fists remained clenched as he glares across the table at Sentinel Nathaniel.

An Encrypted Farewell | Mass Effect 2 - Shepard Ashley Williams

Nathaniel’s fingers curled around the railing, hands shaking at the chill of the metal. Or was it the anxiety? He couldn’t tell the difference.

Come Back Home | Mass Effect AU - Alessa Shepard x Armando-Owen Bailey

Alessa's skin glistens under the dimmed lights of her bedroom. Warm tones from the ceiling refract off the drops of sweat, sparkling like the stars that painted the sky.

Crossing A Line pt. 2 | Fallout 4 Long Fic w.i.p.

The steam billowed around at his feet as Nate stepped out of the shower stall.

Axios! Ch. 4 | Halo 4 (post) - Jun A266 x Frëja E241

Jun's hand was mere centimeters from the access pad, when he heard it. He's known that pain, hell he still has those days. The days where he wakes up screaming, sweat dripping from his brow with tears having stained the pillow in his sleep.