#I really do need to fix my sleep schedule tho

[inkdrinkerworld]

Dealer!remus would not let me go to bed at two in the morning but alas he isn’t real and therefore cannot enforce the rules of bedtime

[fletchlings-bow]

day 60

rehearsal again. feeling a bit more confident on some of the repertoire, and a lot of it's quite fun, but also i'm so so so tired and i want to have the time to practice before next rehearsal and i'm not sure i will

[koka-mi]

I dunno why but I keep thinking abt the way I used to spend my nights two years ago

I remember around 6-7pm (in the autumn/winter) or 7-8pm (in the spring/summer), I'd lock my bedroom door, bring my tablet and headphones up with me onto the roof and play songs that I liked I watched the sun set. The songs were mostly either sapphic-coded (like sofia by clairo, strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo, etc.) or something ambient and soothing to me (like colorful interlude by sublime jupiter or rhubarb/#3 by aphex twin). I don't remember why though..I guess I just liked those types of songs back then xp

sometimes I'd bring my sketchbook with me too and sketch out random things like landscapes or characters from fandoms I was in at the time. Or I'd bring my journal and write about my completely nothing day. Most of the stuff I wrote was about the same but it's still nice to look back at them :3

Was it the safest for 14 year old me to just chill on the roof? Probably not. But tbh I didn't care at the time xD I honestly wouldn't have minded dying there.

I was at like.a reaaaaally low point in my life. Probably at my worst. Like I would cry everyday over little things and I found it extremely difficult to take care of myself. I guesss when I was out there on my roof watching the sun set with nice music in my headphones I actually felt..peace?? for once?? I dunno how to explain but it was suuuper nice I remember ^^ and it was nice to let out good cries up there.

I guess I can't help but remember this fondly and find it kinda nostalgic even though it was only two years ago and when I was not.doing great :'D I'm better nowadays luckily but hadhehdjwd makes me emotional sometimes.

[tookthe-405]

Hard to sleep

bsf!ellie x bsf!reader

Masc!ellie x fem!reader

summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)

It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪

(Happy End)

c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!

authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”

You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.

“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.

“Holy fuck”

You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.

“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”

You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.

“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”

“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”

You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.

Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.

“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.

“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”

“Um I do?”

You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.

You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.

You just don’t want to fuck this up.

“You should wear a skirt today”

“Huh?”

Ellie appears in the door.

“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again

“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”

Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”

“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine

Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.

“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”

“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”

“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”

You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.

It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.

That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.

“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”

Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.

And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.

You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.

“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”

Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.

But she just keeps walking and looking forward.

“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”

Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.

“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.

Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.

You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.

“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.

“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.

“Iris. I sit with her in biology”

“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.

Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.

“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”

Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.

Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.

Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.

“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.

Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.

“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.

You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.

“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”

“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”

“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”

She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?

“Okay she’ll be there”

“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.

“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”

“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting

“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.

“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.

“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.

It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.

“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.

“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.

“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”

“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”

“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.

Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.

You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.

The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.

You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.

You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.

“Fuck” you whisper annoyed

You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.

I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay

What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?

I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party

You don’t have to do that Ellie

I get it really

I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?

I can hear you say this in my head

Shut up and get ready dork

You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.

In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.

You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.

There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.

You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.

You smile excited and do a little spin.

“is this okay?” You ask her

“Pretty. You look very pretty”

You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.

Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.

“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.

She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.

A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.

Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.

“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”

You whisper in her ear

“I love you too…”

You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.

“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”

“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”

Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.

“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.

Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.

It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.

Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.

“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.

She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.

“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”

“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.

“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip

You take a step back and look at her really mad now.

“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.

You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.

“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”

Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.

“Don’t fucking Touch me.”

And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.

You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.

You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.

You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.

After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.

Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.

You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.

“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.

“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.

“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”

You look at her with your mouth a bit open.

Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.

“Yes… yeah sure why not”

The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.

You Open a window and lean on to the wall.

“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.

The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.

“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.

“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.

You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.

You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.

“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.

“No but I don’t smoke often”

“Hm”

“Sorry what’s your name?”

She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.

“Abby”

“Nickname?”

“Yeah for Abigail”

“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.

“Thank you… so what do you study?

“Psychology” I murmur

Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.

“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.

“No, general”

“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”

You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.

“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.

“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.

“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”

And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.

“Pre-med”

“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.

“You might become a fucking doctor”

She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.

“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.

You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.

Fuck this woman has some muscles.

You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.

“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.

Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.

You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.

She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.

“What the fuck?”

Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.

“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”

You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.

But never this mad.

“We’re going”

Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.

“Sorry but you can’t just do that”

“You don’t know shit”

Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.

“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”

Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.

You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.

“Get in” she hisses

You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.

“Ellie-“

“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”

She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.

The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.

You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.

You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.

“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”

Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.

“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“

“I would always choose you”

This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.

“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”

Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.

She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.

You’ll choose each other.

You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.

“I want you to kiss me-“

She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.

If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.

And you would still kiss each other over and over again.

Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.

Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.

“Wait - wait”

She stopped immediately.

“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.

Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.

“I couldn’t do it”

“Couldn’t do what?”

Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face

“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”

Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.

“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”

Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.

“Give me a second”

You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.

Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed

And don’t worry about Ellie

Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.

“You’re okay with sleeping here?”

Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.

“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”

You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.

“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.

“N-no im fine Are you fine?”

You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.

“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.

“Yes I can do that”

You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.

“Can you open my dress for me?”

She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.

The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.

Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.

The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.

A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.

The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.

Her eyes wander over your whole body.

Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.

Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.

“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.

You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.

“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.

She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.

“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.

Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.

It’s all you ever wanted.

All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.

You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.

Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.

“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.

You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”

Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.

Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.

For a while both of you almost fought about the control.

“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.

But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.

Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.

“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.

You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.

“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.

Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.

“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.

It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.

Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.

“Here”

Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.

“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.

The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.

You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.

Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.

You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.

She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.

“I really love these fuck” she whispers

The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.

“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.

“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.

“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“

the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.

“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.

Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.

Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.

She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.

Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.

“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.

“Nothing just happy to be here”

You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.

“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.

Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.

“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“

Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.

“You taste so good, just like I imagined”

Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.

“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”

You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.

“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.

Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.

The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.

Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.

“Ellie- please don’t stop”

She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.

“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.

“Fuck- so close god-“

She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.

“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.

“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”

You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.

You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.

When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.

“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”

You said chuckling.

“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.

“Ew ellie”

“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.

You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.

“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.

“Ellie is this just-“

“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.

“What”

“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”

Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.

She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.

You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.

“I also love you… that for a while as well”

A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭

And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!

Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!

[redlenai]

I grabbed one of my ocs and put it in Mouthwashing lol. And oh god I'm about to make things WORSE ((Mind you, this is not my Oc's actual personality, I just dolled him up for the setting))

Derek Dwyn O'Uaithne 22yo | Capricorn | Nusing assistant | Purple text

This is his first cargo, Pony Express hasn't given him a proper program like Anya, so he is supposed to learn under her wing, she couldn't say no as this would be a bonus on her pay. He was going to be the 5th member for the Tulpar. Daisuke was still added last minute (This version of the Tulpar has 5 bedrooms and cryopods) At first glance, he is a cheerful boy, positive and always with a bright smile, he seems unbothered by the sleeping schedule and adapts quickly to rules, thrilled to go to space for the very first time...

However, that's not the reason why he joined the Company. Two years prior, Derek was stalking Jimmy, for some reason he got fascinated by the older man at the point of obsession, after discovering he was struggling financially (And knowing where he lived), he was planning to ambush him and corner him so he would accept some quality time with him in exchange of money, however, the night in the bar he was supposed to make direct contact, Curly was there as well. He listened to their conversation about joining Pony Express, that lead to a year without being able to stalk Jimmy, as he was on space. When he returned, Derek noticed he was worse than when he left, so he wanted to make sure to go too so he won't miss it.

He has no particular intention to "fix Jimmy", nor help him out really, he just wants him, to own him, and will do anything in his power to do so. Its a twisted arousal tho, he would use endearment words and even claim that he loves him deeply. His own obsession doesn't give him a clear idea either of what he feels, if a need to conquer or for his twisted adoration to be requited.

😔🔪 🩸⭑︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀 ⭑︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶⭑😔🔪 🩸︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀

Relationships:

Curly: Feels tremendous hatred and jealousy towards him, for being the closest person to Jimmy and for taking him far away for a whole year (ruining his plans) // Superficially, acts respectful and friendly towards the Captain on a formal basis.

Anya: Doesn't like her presence at the Tulpar at all, considering her a potential rival // Superficially, acts like a companion and an attentive apprentice

Swansea: Has no interest on him whatsoever except for the fact he feels envious that Swan is "Owned and Owner" by noticing his wedding ring // Superficially, admires his mechanical skills and acts respectfully, still keeping his distance

Daisuke: While close in age, considers him annoying, especially by their first interaction when Daisuke tried to flirt with him, thinking he was a girl // Superficially, acts like a buddy, listening and laughing to his jokes with mild teasing

Jimmy: Overly friendly with him, and even invading on his personal space. He is so fascinated with him, he doesn't have a superficial personality for him, but surely tones down his obsessive and stalkish behavior. Has no issue courting the older man, admiring him as Co-Pilot and to think about him when he becomes Captain

During the first months, Jimmy has noticed the uneasy feeling of being stalked, slowly turning into a bit of paranoia. Mostly, a feeling that he couldn't cut ties with Earth to escape his problems. At first it was a bit overwhelming to be around someone that gave him the words that he wanted, even considering them mocking, Jimmy slowly began to let the nursing assitant getting closer during game nights and daily activities as the behavior persisted and Derek didn't ask him for anything.

I imagined two scenarios for this AU (Which I call NyanAU*) *It's creation being inspired on Nyan by Maretu

😔🔪 🩸⭑︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀 ⭑︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶⭑😔🔪 🩸︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀

Good? Route: The night where Jimmy tried to go to Anya's room he was confronted by Derek who was standing on HIS door. Derek is aware of what Jimmy was about to do, he has been watching him very closely, so closely, and uses that to walk him to the Lounge. Where Derek tells him a little secret about himself and that Jimmy could do him the favor of ignoring what's in front of him and blow some steam together. In shorter words, Derek is intersex, and offers Jimmy to Nyan Nyan Nyan with him. Derek even lets Jimmy call him by female pronouns, as he doesn't have any issue with them, anything goes as long they are having fun. She could be Jimmy's nurse for the night, while he could be her Captain.

Derek manages to do Jimmy's psych evals, which is one of the things he was interested the most in obtaining, it didn't took much to convince Anya to leave the work to her apprentice and after successfuly getting closer to Jimmy, to be able to get him to "open up". Obviously, without him realizing that the Evals werent' as useless as he thought... at least in the hands of this nursing assitant.

The rest of the journey goes normally, only with a few things happening. Everyone realizes there is something going on between them and even Daisuke has see them being a bit touchy in certain rooms of the Tulpar, Anya worrying for her apprentice as Derek is almost 10 years younger than Jimmy, that didn't last long after the blonde very subtly tells her he has been "admiring him from afar for quite a while to just let him go". Swansea doesn't get involved but has confided in Daisuke and Curly that Jimmy has stuck his dick in crazy.

Curly has began to realize that Jimmy no longer spends much time with him, or that their friendship isn't as close. While he is happy to see his friend "better", and with a partner that is so in love with him, he can't brush off some warning signs that maybe, he'll end up rescuing his friend from yet another mess he caused by himself.

Jimmy clearly likes the attention, the encouraging words doesn't feel empty and the sex is great, his mood and work performance is even better. Derek can't wait to drag this man to his apartment and lock him inside, doesn't seem that Jimmy would mind. He'll see how far he'll go with him once they are back on Earth, Derek has savings and his apartment belongs to him, he has no issue finding new jobs or having lots of friends and connections, despite he is not interested in them and only keeps superficial boundaries, he wants to see what Jimmy will do now "trapped in Heaven". Be it UP or DOWN, Derek goes with what he wants at the moment.

😔🔪 🩸⭑︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀 ⭑︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶⭑😔🔪 🩸︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀

Canon Route: By following the canon events of the game, in this timeline Derek doesn't realize what Jimmy was going to do to Anya. As he kept his distant for a bit in order to don't raise suspicion, he missed on the signs, after all, he only cares about Jimmy, not the rest of the crew or what happens around him. So, the events of the game still happen.

After the crash, Derek is the first one to switch and call Jimmy, Captain. Following his rules and even offering to give Curly his medication, without anyone around he just forces the meds on Curly's throat almost similarly to how Jimmy does canonically, his obsession now overlapping as he wishes Curly would just die already, in contrast to Anya, he considers Curly the real monster for convincing Jimmy to join Pony Express, instead of letting him fall on his trap for him, he is also giving him more than the recommended dose Anya ordered, so he would die of an overdose or will run out of meds faster.

Now after the crash, he keeps his smile "to stay strong and positive" however its clear now that he has a screw loose considering their situation. His compliments sound condescending to the rest to the crew except for Jimmy, who he still treats affectionately.

Swansea is the first one to start treating him just like how he treats Jimmy, no authority nor respect. Meanwhile Daisuke starts to keep his distance, Anya on the other hand, while scared of Jimmy, has a bit of trust on Derek who she confides about what Jimmy did to her, the SA and the pregnancy.

During a blind jealous rage* induced by Mouthwash, he is the one that destroys the Polle Statue and subtly begins to sink the idea on Anya to kill herself by an overdose.

*I based this on pick-me-girl behaviors and sexist possesive woman who don't realize the weight of a situation especially when said horrible thing could happen to them, a lack of empathy and total disregard for the victim.

When Anya locked herself on MedBay, Derek let Jimmy and Daisuke take care of the situation, cleaning his hands from the incident by "watching over poor Swansea, to make sure the spiked drink didn't do much harm"

After Daisuke dies, he helps Jimmy to tie up Swansea to the chair, he also listens to the old man's speech, tho he really doesn't care nor even blinks when Jimmy pulls the trigger.

Now that its the two of them, plus Curly. Derek finally starts expressing the rage and jealousy he felt towards the others on Jimmy, then start with bigger delusions, that he should have assaulted him first at the bar, at his house, so many ocassions, that he loved seeing him squirm on his paranoia of being watched, to how dare to go to Anya when the one that was always touching him and trying to get his attention was him, that there was nothing to worry about, he could have bought Anya's silence with money, good money so she wouldn't have to let go of her dreams while he got Jimmy's kid. But no, he had to try to fix everything, as if broken things aren't beautiful as they were and despite things were so fun and he loved his time with him, it wasn't enough, now it was time to get rid of one last annoyance before they could finally enjoy their time together.

So, in an attempt to prevent Curly from dying at Derek's hands, Jimmy ends up killing Derek, this time no "indirectly", "accidentaly" nor "for self-defense". He impaled him to a rusty nail, calling him a crazy bitch.

With his last breath, Derek just admits that he wasn't only obsessed with Jimmy

"I hated it... when I didn't get what I wanted...

I knew it... you were the same...

I love you...

But he won...

Long... long... ago...

His leg tasted awful... next... time... let me taste...

your heart..."

Then the game ends just like in Canon, Jimmy kills himself and Curly ends up in the cryopod.

😔🔪 🩸⭑︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀 ⭑︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶⭑😔🔪 🩸︶꒷꒦︶ ๋⭑🩹💊🫀

So welp, I had that much so far and with the drawings lmao. Some random bits of my Derek:

Doesn't have family, nor a specific background to justify why he is the way he is nor why or how he specifically got obsessed with Jimmy

I originally considered making Derek the reason why Jimmy lost his previous job (As a plot twist), but I don't have any ideas for it either.

Cat person

Has a sweet tooth, but prefer strong flavors like 90% cocoa

He is on BC, so he doesn't worry about needing to change plans

Has a dry sense of humor

Despite his overly romantic and corny behavior after getting Jimmy's attention, he is not particulary into romantic things such as movies or books

The apartment he owns is quite big, just a bit old fashioned (Kind of like a Brooklyn apartment)

Due to his impulsive nature, he has a tendency for stealing

Doesn't need to wear bras but has them whenever he wants to feel pretty

Used to do modeling

He doesn't learn something unless it interests him or needs it in order to get something that he wants

Is a terrible cook

Is allergic to makeup

In a "Nothing bad happens" AU his personality wouldn't have been dolled up, so you could say that his fancharacter personality is OOC, my Derek is actually a helplessly romantic introvert, bookworm, used to being responsible and independent, very maternal but still with an attraction to dark haired man with bad boy looks. So yeah, still crushing hard on Good!Jimmy, who just views him as a little sibling. So unrequited love until the very end lmao.

[ysaefinn]

I’ve been gone for a bit as to not overwhelm you with a million billion asks, but i wanna check in and ask how you’re doing!!

-🍒

CHRRYNON!!!!!!!!!! CHERRYNON HII HELLOOO!!!!!!

PlZ DONT WORRY ABOUT SPAMING THE INBOX IT REALLY MAKES ME SUPER GIDDY WHEN I RECEIVE AN ASK!!!!!!!! If anything i just feel bad for the people who have to wait really 😭😭

AS FAR AS IM DOING THO!!! ive been crashing out bcuz my bank is being a little shit as per usual lmao, and im trying to fix my sleeping schedule bcuz sleeping late and waking up early=feeling stoned all day=not being productive= not answering asks <////3 i just wanna continue to be whimsical bro.. there's also this art piece im working on that is really pissing me off but it's coming together tho...it is......i think i just need to start a little doodle on the side as a little break

[ytsahc]

what hafen vella? (calex hc)

this is my first calex HC.. i do apologize if this is all over the place. i just really want to get this out of my system.

so, casey is a vampire but not really the typical type of vampire on media..

sets around alex second year in svu

witsec will never happen

casey is the rising superstar ada in white collar

casey is a vampire (yass)

casey is absolutely not the brooding-i-will-watchoveryou-protectyou type of vampire.. she is actually a high maintenance vampire

basically vampires just keeps it lowkey, like they really try to live like the regular humans

they also actually grow old and they just go thru some ritual that just makes them go back to their younger selves (age when they were turned).. the whole process (them going thru a very deep long sleep) would actually go over decades before they wake up to live another new life

they have their little vampire family (just random vampires finding family with each other.. with casey she got a military dad, a gardener mom, a physicist and then a journalist brother.. they like to stick with to one professional field.. except casey of course.. she had lived a life of a circus performer, zoo keeper, banker, etc)

vampires here do need blood intake but mainly they just need food that got a lot of iron in them just works for them too.. yes they cook what they mostly eat

of course they have vampire hospitals.. usually where they go for their scheduled dose of blood or during any emergencies (which usually requires blood)..

they don't straight out drink the bloods they actually got it on iv drips.

they usually need their blood fix when they are extremely tired or their bodies giving up due to exhaustion (something that happens a whole lot with the hardworking casey), or they are physically hurt..

so yeah no fangs, no enhanced senses.. no accelerated healing unless they just got their blood fix of the month and they got a papercut so yeah that right away heals.. or they got their blood fix right away after a major injury.. so yeah vampires are lousy, no super strenghts and they are actually very sensitive..

aside from blood they also need a whole lot of sleep and rest to energize them (something casey always fails to do hence she always get herself a trip to the vampire hospital) .

also they dont get burned when exxposed to sunlight.. they actually bask on it becuz they feel cold all the time. tho if they dont have their monthly blood fix their eyes gets too sensitive for sunlight (nothing a good pair of dark shades could fix like in casey's case.. blood is too expensive for her ada salary.. add to that she is also overworked so her 2 pairs of good dark shades works just fine in the morning).

they also have very sensitive skin like they get too uncomfortable with bad quality materials like it's 100x worse for them..

they have a heartbeat.. alright so like they died and when they were turned, automatically their hearts starts beating again or more like rebooted and no longer functions for the human body.. and their heartbeats are very slow and faint.

they could also see their selves in a mirror.. they love mirrors actually.. one thing about vampires is that their beauty is extra amped up (casey do make use of her physical asset, especially that beautiful face of hers aside from annoying ppl to give her what she wants)

they also find human horniness terrible becuz they could go on many rounds for sex while vamps could go on rounds like that too.. it's just their energy gets spent too much for such activity they like need 3 bags of blood to fully recover (casey avoids it and is too happy to please herself instead of getting overpriced blood after.. until she started dating alex where money is never a problem)

also they could not turn another human into a vampire.. these vampires are actually a result of those evil doctors that partnered with witches a long long time ago (they were later killed by vampires themselves).

i will be updating this maybe.. since basically this is just a list of the type of vampire casey is. so yeah i will be working on the whole calex thing of it.. any thots tho? hehehe it's just i have been thinking about this for a few days now. i also would really like to write a calex fic if i have time like a have tons of calex ideas on my phone.. i have loved all of the hc's i've read here and this one is my contribution to the calex fandom.

[honeytonedhottie]

so you're my only hope and i really wish for your advice. it's humiliating to say my story but i really need help. so i was misdiagnosed with schizofrenia (i 100% know i'm healthy) i need to lie that i have schizofrenia because my mother needs money. and here comes my desires : revision and desired age/grade level and maaany more. i have no responsibilities literally zero! the way i manifest is i walk around my room and viseualise, affirm and overall manifest which is fun but the thing is do you think i should build healthy day routine instead of just pacing around my room all day long? could you provide me a routine? thank you for help because yall are saving me for real. it could be even self care habits to do every day anything to avoid pacing around

thank you for coming to me 💗 and im so sorry about ur story. im so happy that you know the law because you deserve all of ur desires and more!! 💗

so to build a healthy routine and schedule for urself. doing so builds discipline. im gonna give u some healthy habits, a morning and evening routine, and resources for those things. a good place to start tho is making a weekly agenda that changes with the week, something to switch things up every week. just make one 💗💗💗

—healthy habits🩰⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡ moving ur body/pilates - i personally do pilates and i recommend it to literally everybody. but the basic idea is to move around (and that does not mean pacing in ur bedroom) i mean get ur blood flowing and get moving. it doesn’t have to be pilates it can be running, a sport, dancing, yoga etc

here’s a link to one of the pilates workouts that i recommend if ur a beginner : 

♡ get a hobby - some hobby recommendations: if u are good at writing try poetry, try teaching urself how to draw or paint or sculpt, learn how to dance, learn how to play an instrument, learn a sport, learn languages, become a good cook, write stories, start a blog, learn to sew or crotchet, learn tech, read lots of books, watch/listen to lots of podcasts. literally just get busy 

♡ meditating and journaling - this is so good not only for ur mental health but it can also improve focus and keep u grounded. keep a journal or start meditating every day

here’s a link to a guided meditation for self love : 

♡ self care - i LOVE self care. literally practice self care every single day. take care of ur nails, skin, hair, lashes EVERYTHING. be super intentional with ur self care bcuz it tells our brains that we are worthy of effort and it’ll LITERALLY make u feel like a princess. 

♡ manifesting - you mentioned that u wanted to do some revision so something that i recommend for revising is using SATS. or state akin to sleep. once ur in state akin to sleep go back in ur mind and revise whatever u want. or just do SATS before bed every night. this is such a powerful manifesting tool

♡ sleep - aim to get between eight to ten hours of sleep a night. you’ll look better, feel better, and your physical and mental health will just skyrocket 

—morning🌸⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡̴ first thing in the morning, fix ur bed 

♡ open the blinds/windows if the sun is out, this all depends on what time u wake up but if the sun isn’t out just skip this step 

♡ stretch for a couple minutes 

♡ write down at least three things that ur grateful for (don’t write down what u aren’t grateful for AT THAT MOMENT, literally just write down three things that ur grateful for right then and there) 

♡ brush ur teeth and use a tongue scraper 

♡ have a glass of water with some lemon slices 

♡ take a warm shower and moisturize 

♡ skincare routine 

♡ put on an outfit that makes u feel pretty 

♡ if u get nauseous when u eat breakfast then try eating something light, but if that doesn’t work then listen to ur body and just skip breakfast. if that’s not the case tho eat a balanced breakfast 

THEN GET TO WORK ON YOUR AGENDA THAT I MENTIONED IN THE BEGINNING<3 

—evening🍥⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡ take a warm shower and moisturize 

♡ 30-60 minutes of self care and pampering 

♡ make a yummy dinner that’s nourishing 

♡ read for 20 minutes or watch something that enriches u 

♡ evening yoga 

♡ drink water 15 minutes before bed 

THEN GO TO SLEEP AND HAVE SWEET DREAMS <3 

this is just an idea, or a basic guideline to follow if u need it. customize it to ur specific needs and day-to-day life. im so excited for all ur desires to manifest cuz u deserve it! mwah 💗💗💗

[tixdixl]

Happy Birthday, Kingsley! - Room Relaxation

Vignette Part 3

The next morning…

[Diasomnia Dorm - Kingsley’s Room]

Kingsley wordlessly gets up. He checks his phone to see what time it is, puts the phone in his pocket, and grabs the mesh hygiene bag. He takes his skull off his nightstand and slips out into the hallway.

[Diasomnia Dorm- Hallway]

Kingsley: … I hear someone from down the hall… sounds like Lilia–

Lilia, muffled: Gloomerai take left flank, DPS… I need someone to heal me- Yes, now. He’s got his proxy up. Fuhuhu~

Kingsley pulls out his phone.

Kingsley: …05:05… I don’t think Sir Vanrouge has actually gone to sleep yet… I knew that the Unseelie struggled with diurnal scheduling, but it doesn’t sound like he’s even tried…

Kingsley clicks his tongue against his teeth.

Kingsley: …truly irresponsible.

[Diasomnia Dorm - Washroom]

Kingsley: …let’s get this done.

With two fingers, he swipes across the bottom of one of the sink basins.

Kingsley: …this is dry enough.

He sets his skull down on the table in front of the basin.

He pulls out a towel and sets it to the side. Kingsley then turns on the faucet, and hot water begins to come out of the nozzle. He carefully puts his head under the running water for approximately 3 seconds. He lets out a single hiss from the heat as he quickly pulls his head out from the running water.

Kingsley lets out a huff as he partially dries his hair with a towel, keeping it still damp but not sopping wet. As he finishes drying off his face, he turns off the faucet entirely.

Kingsley: …should fix this. Wasting water from letting it drip…

Kingsley sets the towel on a nearby rung. As he lets it hang, he reaches into his bag and pulls out a comb and a tin of hair cement. Once he combs his hair back, he directly puts a small glob of hair cement into his hair and combs it through. The ease of which he does this sort of demonstrates how routinely he does this, and frankly, probably how long he has done this every morning.

Once he washes the excess product off his comb and his hands, he grabs the skull. For a moment, he hesitates, staring down at it.

Kingsley: …I wonder what it must feel like… knowing your body still lives on, yet it’s carried around day to day in a school… every day, passing by the welps who know nothing of war… know nothing of serving a community, let alone an entire nation… happy to live a life oblivious to the hardship of navigating multiple worlds, multiple lives, multiple cultures…

Kingsley: Surely, you must find their comfort deplorable… not when you gave your life to make sure your children’s child- my forefathers had a place to live, food on their tables, and clothes on their backs… Pitiful, really… and all the while I drag you along with me. At least… you are with me as I walk these halls.

Kingsley: Perhaps you’d think an apology necessary. But from the way I see it, how could you possibly see how the world has devolved without bearing witness to it yourself. Really, you should thank me.

Kingsley: …

Kingsley: I hear footsteps. Let’s get going.

The freshman takes the skull and places it with extreme care and precision on his face. He slings the bag and towel over his shoulder as he leaves the washroom.

[Diasomnia Dorm - Kingsley’s Room]

Kingsley: …06:00…

He approaches the curtains and opens them, allowing himself to see the first rays of daylight as they peek over the horizon.

He immediately turns, grabbing his things and heads out the door once again.

[Diasomnia Dorm - Hallway]

Once again, he hears the sounds of gaming coming from down the hallway. He pauses, mulling over his decision. His tongue passes over the front of his teeth in mild frustration as he opts to do nothing.

Kingsley: …a man of his age should understand the consequences of his actions by now. It’s only fitting that he suffer them proper.

As he continues to walk down the hallway, he hears the sounds of squeaking, echoing down the stone corridors.

Kingsley stares at the ground.

Kingsley: Sand…? Again? …those Scarabia ingrates know better than to track their filth all over our floors. It’s not like we have air currents to sweep for us.

Kingsley side steps to the closest broom closet. He turns the knob, opening the door, and with a snap of his gloved fingers, the broom jolts awake, snapping upright.

The broom waddles out into the hallway and begins to sweep the sand over to the dust pan, of which Kingsley held.

Once the broom finishes its sweeping, it waddles back into the closet and rests back in its place.

Kingsley closes the door, and with his hands clasped behind his back, he strides down the corridor, heading toward the dorm exit.

[Night Raven College - Main Street]

Copper: Oh, look! There he is! KINGSLEY!!!

Kingsley looks over to the trio, Gia, Jack, and Copper are heading towards him. Copper is fully sprinting. Jack and Gia are keeping pace behind him.

Copper: KINGSLEEEEY!!!

Kingsley: Good morning, Captain Benoit. Yugo. Howl.

Jack: Good morning, Kingsley. Ah- and Happy Birthday!

Kingsley: …

Gia: Copper told him.

Copper: Uh, yeah. And? He tried to get around it and not have a birthday. The least I could do is make him work for it.

Jack: …when you put it that way, I’m not sure I blame him.

Kingsley: …

Gia: Heh.

Kingsley: It’s January 14th, nothing more, nothing less. And we will all be late for our classes if we don’t head to the main building.

Copper, sighing: …One of these days, you’ll be less of a stick in the mud. I swear it to the Seven.

Jack: He is right though. We should go.

FIN.

---

A/N: At this point in the fic, Kingsley really said "You want a monologue? Fine." But I feel like this was finally an opportunity to unviel a bit of what's going on behind the scenes. He does in fact believe he is speaking with the spirit btw.

Second, another thanks to Gar and Cy for letting me borrow your beans. Means a lot. 💚

Part 1

Part 2

Tag list: @ramshacklerumble @the-trinket-witch @elenauaurs @rainesol @boopshoops

@cyanide-latte @winterweary @inmateofthemind @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter

@lumdays @twstinginthewind @twistedwonderlandshenanigans

Lmk if you want added/removed

[studyyblrring]

to do list 8th of july

day 14 🌟 i really need to fix my sleeping schedule again, i went to bed at 4 am last night and woke up so late i didn’t really have time to do anything before leaving for work even tho i start late in the afternoon 💀

update: i was so tired i got 0 actual studying in, other than my daily korean tasks. i did manage to read for a bit before bed but that was it. i also failed going to bed before midnight, but i did go to bed before 1am which is better than the other night. i just really need to go to sleep earlier somehow lol

Thesis (python course):

☐ daily practice questions

☐ finish section 1 module 3 + notes

한국어:

✅ anki deck reviews + new daily words

✅ busuu streak

Personal:

✅ 4h work shift

☐ meditate

✅ read 24/10 pgs

☐ go to bed before midnight

파이팅 해야지~

🎧 txt - no rules

📖 'carmilla' by sheridan le fanu

📚 'nana' vol. 1 by ai yazawa

[hskcut-blog]

Okay I needed to vent about this somewhere and why not just do it here, right? So the reason why I actually went head on in the lads rabbit hole was bc of an edit – and guess who was in the video??? The man himself, the prettiest ml in that game, THE Rafayel, but wait!! I only learned about the sexy crime that is that siren form later when I was looking for more edits about him :)

That one edit that started everything was just him folding pathetically whenever the mc touched his face... And she does that a lot, God bless her 🙏

No but seriously the way that man melts at her touch like?????? He got his yearner degree with full honors cause that level of desperation is insane (and now I know why which yes, it hurts to think too much about it, but oh well) and HE BLUSHES ALL THE TIME TOO 😫 he's so pretty it makes me wanna cry :((((

Oh not to forget he's an artist too, that was honestly the cherry on top, that's my baby through and through, I don't care for anything else (cut to me struggling to do all the training possible so I can pass the fighting on the third phase (?) of the first arc, but yeah, all good around here)

Now not so fun things about the game tho is all the storage it takes to function????????? THAT IS ANOTHER LEVEL OF INSANITY BC THAT IS A DATING GAME AND NOW I ONLY HAVE A FORTH OF MY CELLPHONE STORAGE AVAILABLE ANYMORE 😭😭😭 I know the grafics and animations are insanely good but mann it's just a game, why they need all of that 😫

Also I'm not really feeling it with the other characters we're introduced to at first - yes they're pretty, but so far not really interesting to me (although I admit Xavier's posts and texts are quite cute, he's giving major lost puppy/boy next door kind of vibes) I kinda feel bad about keeping them aside as I'm basically hunting down that memory of rafayel as the sea god and leveling up my affinity with him, but at the same time I'm not bothered enough to do much more for them (and their affinity levels go up by themselves when I collect the memories so there's that...

And omg I unlocked the period tracker abshsgsgshzgx I thought that was an event only kind of thing, I had no idea it was a permanent feature in the game lollol the reminders and calendar stuff is actually kind of cute (as in, oh my, I've spent so many hours just exploring all those features I lowkey feel like an addicted to the most intoxicating drug ever - and it's Rafayel's playful smile and his blush when I feel his heart beat 😔) but I can't set them on my time zone so they're basically useless unfortunately.

Too bad I wanted raf reminding me of my sleep time so I could actually follow through with fixing my sleep schedule :(

That's it guys, that's the end, I think I'm down bad for yet another fictional man 😃🔫

[maryse127]

I see you’re playing Harvestella!

Thoughts so far?

Many thoughts! Not very thoughtful ones tho

Gotta preface this by saying I haven't played in like 2 weeks because I was either too tired from work or actually making progress on my Chocobo cross stitch project for once XD

I really like it! The game is pretty and the story has me intrigued. Still on chapter 3 because I be slow. (Why main story if you can farm and side quest)

It is a shame how low res the game is on Switch. Especially in handheld. Lethe Village feels like not wearing your glasses. I don't remember the other areas being that bad but Lethe is just. Eh. A shame.

I am also struggling to make money but that is a Me issue (known item hoarder). If it can be used for crafting/cooking I aint selling it unless I have like 20 in stock because what if I need it later? This is not a game criticism this is just me being me XD

I do think the penalty for dying is too steep. Maybe that's because I am so used to games like Xenoblade that are quite generous about death (putting you at your last checkpoint/fast travel point) but immediately being sent to noon on the next day and being robbed blind by the doctor's fee is just too mean imo. Do one or the other penalty but both is too much.

I would like time to progress a little more slowly but honestly the game is designed around it really well. With the shortcuts you can make in dungeons so you can easily warp home and get back on track the next day. The day system makes it so hard to stop playing. "Just one more day" I say for hours straight while fucking up my sleep schedule.

I also really would have liked a dodge button. I almost exclusively play mage because it has range and seems to be the only way to not constantly have to eat to heal off the face tanking damage. Which is a shame because the other jobs are cool as well but I don't like how much damage you take. (FF14 dragoon main yearns for the totally not dragoon inspired lance job but was taking too much damage while playing it so magic it is)

But yeah, am really excited to see where this goes. The player character (Ein?? I named her Rose after my FF14 WoL) is so funny. Both clueless and intensely capable. Nice reckless streak too. Still no clue what an Omen is but they look cool. And the sidequest ones are really funny too.

Sadly won't be making any progress soon probably. Harvestella is on the list of games that have compatability issues with Switch 2. So hopefully Square Enix and/or Nintendo figure that out before I need a break from Mario Kart World. Then again, the Switch 2 system transfer doesn't actually delete anything from the original system which is nice. I can just play on my old Switch and use cloud saves to send my progress over when it's fixed. But I would of course prefer to play with my shiny new toy instead :)

[mattstrahm]

ah but it's past 2am

diary posting again bc why wouldn't i be. i was so ill for most of november. here's some stuff on my mind.

first idk my blog looks so fucking sad with how little im posting and reblogging and i know this is on me because i don't follow enough sports blogs to feed this blog more, but finding new blogs to follow is such a nightmare. i've bitched and moaned about this before but wow it's hard. i really made a post in october complaining about the state of my blog and ellipsus not having curly apostrophes. ellipsus now has curly apostrophes but i've failed to do anything to fix the blog thing. oh well.

secondly i'm trying to put in place life changes creatively. i'm trying to think of a solution to doing dumb little ficlets/drabbles more often. i feel like i lost a really good outlet when i stopped doing twice a week drabble workshops on discord even tho it was 100% the right decision to quit. but the way i used to roll dice for pairings was really fun and pulling a 100 words out of my ass was great creative exercise. i miss that. i'm also doing a new thing for long form where i go in with a Real Plan. i know that sounds silly but listen... not a big planner lil ol me. and i don't know how it's gonna work out. it has enabled me to write out of order more which is fun, i don't really need to worry about it because i know i have a plan. and then as a third note i guess i hope to start painting again, like actually. getting paint to canvas.

thirdly (?????) yuletide thoughts. i am going back to calling what my family and i celebrate yule, it does make conversing with other people about the general time and holiday really complicated but what i do is yule. calling it christmas feels disingenuous bc christ is literally in the name but our celebration isn't religious, we exercise pagan traditions for it and i resigned from the church years ago... anyway. i feel like i wish i was more of a yule person and then every year i'm a little disappointed that that's not me. but then i do think i am for the first time in my life experiencing seasonal depression which is interesting, so i think that's kneecapping me too. i don't have any decor up, i had a phone call today with my mom about presents and i do have a buddy coming over which is exciting. i guess there's still time. i'll get my tree and shit out of storage and try.

fourth... i don't know. i haven't been watching sports at all which sucks a little but i've been holding a somewhat normal sleeping schedule which doesn't really... lend itself to USAmerican sports. but that's what i watch. i guess i am messing the sleeping schedule up right now considering it's nearly 3am, oopsie? i'm honestly too scared to watch sharks games again, mikke is showing that maybe love is enough in san jose and i'm terrified i'll open a broadcast and like his leg will fall off or some shit... (trust me im knocking on wood) so that's got me worried... i guess i'll look into the nfl schedule?

this won't make a difference to anyone who reads my tumblr posts but i am thinking i'm gonna start posting more about music i like on instagram (stories) and that's also exciting to me. that might be all though. uh thanks for coming to my diary talk again. love you. it's 3am now.

[scalpel-mom-mori]

Okay so i'm being so fr modern au was a divine revelation recently but here are my delusions before the translations drop because i just. Yeah. I have delusions. I have thrown out almost everything from the official au this is MY delusions only.

Oz: I think no one actually knows why he's famous. He's so deeply ingrained in a particular community that even if he killed a man his chat would be giving him pointers on cleaning up the evidence. He's probably a formerly-faceless souls speedrunner that slowly started speaking on stream and then decide fuck it and took a go pro out into the wilds of fuck all to show chat some cool plants and bugs and now he just does whatever and chat has to put up with. People (me) were really mad that he was hot when he finally revealed his face.

Arthur: Student life vlogger. Unoriginal i know but he got binaural mic and has a really nice sounding keyboard. Very calm streams/vlogs but sometimes he rages on twitter when his classes are kicking his ass. It's kind of an open secret that he lives with oz and arthur's chat begs to see oz just living his life because online presence oz is just weird and people were really confused when they realized oz has to eat. The way all this came to light was arthur brought him food and scolded him for streaming so long while oz was live.

Cain: Someone on the JP side said this happened to him and it totally did. He has to beg chat to stop sending him money. Sometimes it works. Kind of like oz, he got popular for a specific game but then people realized he's literally the perfect man and now he just kind of streams whatever. He still streams his og, probably a battle royale pvp, but he also pours a lot of time into cozy games. He's the male streamer that all the otome games sponsor because he's got a pretty decent sized female fanbase. Clip farms all october with horror games. No one is mad about this his reactions are funny asf.

Riquet: As funny as it would be to assign him theology for lols i genuinely believe that this kid would unironically slay at theology and religious history. Bro talks about the interplay between history and power and religion, as well as translation history and revision and historical church politics. Being so fr when I say he probably knows more about jesus than most people three times his age. Agent of chaos

Snow and White: I dont have any headcanons. From the tweets ive seen they are a PR disaster. Why are they flirting with each other from the same fucking account. Why do they feel the need to ensure that their followers know they will be bathing together tonight. Who asked.

Mithra: Gap moe. In my headcanon (delusion) he's a counterculture model but he hops on twitch and streams stardew valley for nine hours. Sometimes he gets forced to play battle royales and he's the guy that ggs in the chat and gets flamed. Is he good at them? Good question. He streams in the middle of the night tho. No amount of trying has fixed his sleep schedule. Kuromi girl but if she was a 6'2 guy with racoon circles under his eyes

Owen: DECORA BOY GAP MOE. If mithra is looks scary but is secretly cute as shit, owen is looks cute and is scary as fuck. Food vlogger. This man streams from the grand opening lines n does outfit of the day shit. He and chloe do grwm/makeup stuff together. he's like. Menhara boyfriend but he hates his chat but then he gets annoyed when they mention other streamers. Doesnt get invited to pvp games because he griefs too hard.

Bradley: Look i know he's an actor but it would be so fucking funny if he was a pro esports player but in his free time he plays minecraft and talks about heists. Has crashed cameoed in nero Nelly's streams enough that there's a lot of rumors about them but he always brushes it off saying that he just crashes because the food's good. Bradley's tweets are the funniest thing ever, please go look them up

Faust: Longform history and literature videos. No i am not biased what could possibly make you say that. Not just because i will give my beautiful wife my favorite subject but also because it suits him. Responds to people's comments super thoughtfully just all around very sweet and cozy. When a troll shows up a switch goes off and suddenly he is cooking the most devastating insults known to mankind while he publicly executes them on stream.

Heathcliff: Lifestyle and culture!! Frequent collaborator, he organizes trips and tailors itineraries to whoever he's working with. Well-loved. He works with Faust and Arthur a lot because their temperaments and content work well together, but he'll try and make things work for anyone. Pvp sleeper build. No one knows where he acquired these skills.

Shino: Guy with a smartphone camera shows you around nature. That's it. Picks up bugs and things with his bare ass hands and gets the camera reaaaal nice and close. Teases chat when they get squeamish over bugs or snakes or the like.

Nero: Okay cheating with this one but anonymous food content creator nero is literally so perfect. There were some accidental slips ups with reflections and his face, and his hair is pretty distinct but everyone just agrees to pretend they dont notice when they see him in public.

Shylock: No one knows where he finds these fucking restaurants. At some point you'd think he runs out of places, runs out of wines. No. This bitch keeps going down shady ass alleyways and finding new spots. Started off by filming how he keeps his own bar but people begged him long enough to see more about the kinds of places he visits.

Murr: Sporadic uploader. Bro will disappear for literal months on end, and then show up with a documentary about whatever he was doing, fully edited and narrated. These documentary releases will drop with whatever publications he makes. This fucking guy will make multiple scientific breakthroughs, invent entirely new fields, and build an aircraft for funsies while he's at it, film and direct the whole thing and then disappear for the better part of a year again.

Chloe: Fashion influencer !!!! There is literally no other option. Moonights as a nail tech. If he's at an event and one of the girlies pulls up like hey chloe i need a set or whatever he'll fucking do it !!! and he'll slay it !!! Films process videos on his original pieces and likes making both haul videos as well as fashion history stuff.

Rustica: He's a vocaloid producer obviously. Every once in a while, though, he'll drop a classical composition that just blows everyone out of the water. His media presence is kind of like Eve with the other utaite. Kind of seisou and wholesome. Sometimes he'll drop the dirtiest joke or innuendo though, and his entire fanbase just explodes over it and he's just :D like nothing happened.

Figaro: Okay HUGE fan of what the event actually has going on. Guy that is so deeply ingrained in the industry. Any attempts to cancel him are unsuccessful even though he's shady as shit. Fucking sucks at social media. He's kind of a slut.

Rutile: Obviously an artist. I think he's like one of those artists that got really popular after posting his work and then kinda went fuck it and started doing like drawing streams and now sometimes he takes chat for walks to the grocery store. Goofy ass drunk streams. A lot of people are rather alarmed at the frequency of these drunk streams.

Lennox: Official AU he's a stuntman but off the grid lifestyle videos. Very rarely live, and usually is doing q and a stuff while doing househol chores. Chat begs to see the sheep. Understandably i would too. Gets donos asking for his hand in marriage constantly. again, understandably I would too.

Mitile: Being so fr i dont think he would have his own channel strictly speaking but he does show up with rutile a lot, and is active on social media.

[theallianceofcelestials]

Depressing rambling is what I’m certified in so no worries :> also making a game sounds fun (I tried once, and never again lol).

I didn’t know about there being a new sauropod dino, that’s so cool :0 I hope you get one of those jobs tho, I can only imagine how nerve racking waiting is..

Im doin fine myself, but not sleeping properly for several weeks is making me miserable and im trying to fix it, but we haven’t been awake before 12 pm since February and it’s a struggle. I keep falling asleep and it would be funny if it weren’t for the fact that I don’t realize im falling asleep, and I just wake up hours later like “huh???”

lol but other than that, I’ve almost beaten Dandy’s World. Though technically it’s not a beatable game.. I mean like I have every Toon, every Trinket, and almost every skin… Except for Bobbette. Curse Bobbette. She’s the one Toon I don’t have and it’s all because of a stupid depressive episode. Im still mad that I have to wait until December to get her (if she even returns this year). Also none of our friends want to play with us :( the only person who’ll play DW with me is my lil brother, and HE NARRATES HIS EVERY ACTION. I can’t deal with that. Not for hours (because he ends up just leaving the game and playing a different one on my computer.)

-Sigma Anon V

Yeah, to reset the sleep schedule one needs to stay awake for a day I think, though that's not my specialty, I didn't do medicine school like some people did :P

Also I've never played Dandy's World, I have basically no idea what happens in it aside from the one gaming video on TSAMS I watched, but it's also something I'd happyily play with you when I get the time and get my head out of my behind with the depressiveness. Also, having every single thing the person you're playing with narrated to you sounds like a nightmare and makes me want to put on headphones already to block out the sound

Also for your sake then I'm hoping you'll get Bobbette Sugarcube

Just because I went to a more medical oriented school, doesn't mean it's my speciality, Moon -.-

Yeah! Chadititan was recently discovered, and it is from South America :} And yeah, I've always been a nervous individual (or well, since my late teens I'd say), and this is the worst. My hands were legit shaking while sending out the application emails.

Happy to hear you're doinng well, even if that sleep schedule is not the healthiest

I did try Dandy's World out once or twice, but due to no one joining lobbies, I never really get far >-<

And oh my god I hate it when people narrate their every action for extended periods of time. And I'm also hoping you get Bobette, Sugarplum! ^^

[juicezone]

Hi hi! Coming to do the same thing question thingy cause I thought it was fun.

Mkay so who do you think, out of either fandom characters that you like or an oc, would fall asleep in the oddest places? On top of the fridge, hanging upside down off of the couch. Underneath a desk or spread across the table, etc. The real question is after being found out, does their caregiver stop them, or do they get pulled along for an impromptu nap as well :3

does it surprise anyone i think that i started thinking abt star trek first (and basically only that rip) and ocs. my brain is just so (gestures vaguely at star trek) i cant think of any other fandom

Kirk has the ability to sleep literally anywhere (and can wake up at the slightest creak) (this is because of Tarsus IV which TLDR Bad Time) but he tends to drag blankets and pillows into closets and snuggle up (and lowkey hide there). Spock usually rouses him and encourages him to come to an actual bed, and McCoy does but also sometimes he just plops himself into the closet as well and puts on something mindless for them both to watch

Ward definitely not when regressed, bc getting him to sleep in a bed is hard enough, he's definitely not conking out in non "safe" places. his oddest sleeping place was probably one time on shore leave, he and Cooper were running around and Ward accidentally dozed off while laying on the grass after a picnic (using McCoy as a pillow)

Cooper WILL find anywhere comfortable to sleep when he deems it bedtime. Arm chair? Shuttle seat? Floor? as long as they're comfortable, Cooper doesn't entirely mind an odd place, but they're not TOO odd

CADE however. Cade is the one that has the photo library of odd places i think. they contort into odd positions while sleeping, one time fell half-off the bed and just kept sleeping (SOO sore the next day. neck cricks oughhh). has in fact fallen asleep standing up before, at their console, while doing a puzzle with cooper. cade has a horrible sleep schedule and just is perpetually tired so there are many odd places or positions (one time, McCoy found them conked out behind the transport console while Cooper was fixing it. Cooper just shrugged and asked if McCoy would wake them up bc Cooper needed his tools back) +cade's very much a fan of co-sleeping tho like if someone's asleep they're gonna be "anyone mind if i just ZZZZZZZZZ"

Rory's odd places are really just depending on if you consider falling asleep with his animals odd. He usually lets them out to wander during the day and sometimes gets sleepy and will inevitably doze off against a tree and wake up with a lapful of chickens, or a cow resting nearby, or surrounded by his sheep (his sheep adore him, which capri finds very funny and fitting)

I havent named them yet but this guy (the sharky guy :D) i think is also a fan of just flopping somewhere and sleeping. Since they can do both land and water, sometimes you just see them dozing in the water, or half on the river-bank, half-water... Rory has a couple large floaties and so sometimes they just basically anchor those or put them in the pond and go zzzzzzz