#Positive Behavior Intervention Supports

[k12academics]

The Glenholme School is a coeducational special needs boarding school for those students struggling with social, emotional and academic issues. We accept students ages 9-21, in grades 5 through 12.

[for-yoongi0309]

Severance Hospital and SUGA are establishing a specialized treatment center to support the treatment and social independence of patients with autism

On the 23rd, Severance Hospital held a groundbreaking ceremony for the 'Min Yoon-ki Treatment Center' for the treatment of children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorder on the first floor of Jejungwan. This center will support the mental health of children and adolescents through language, psychological, and behavioral therapies, and will operate various programs that link clinical and research. Even while promoting with BTS, Suga has consistently engaged in charity work and has shown a continued interest in mental health, psychological and behavioral issues, and especially depression in adolescents. He has sought ways to help through his talent and ability in music.

Last November, Suga had the opportunity to communicate with Professor Chun Geun-ah of the Department of Pediatrics at Severance Hospital, an authority in the field of pediatric psychiatry. Through several meetings since then, he learned that patients with autism spectrum disorder require customized treatment that fits their life cycle, but that this is difficult to achieve with existing short-term therapeutic interventions. He also agreed that in order to bring about positive changes in the symptoms of autism spectrum disorder, it is necessary to establish a specialized treatment center that can provide short term and even long-term treatments. It was also revealed that SUGA has donated 5 Billion Won ($3mil+) to Severance Hospital to help them for the next 10 years. This is the largest donation ever made by an artist, not only to Severance Children's Hospital but also to the entire Yonsei Medical Center.

Since then, Professor Chun and Suga have discussed the establishment of a treatment center and social skills training using music for children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorder from the end of last year to the beginning of this year. Based on this, they developed the 'MIND' program, a social skills group program that combines musical content with existing social skills training programs. The MIND program is an acronym that contains the meaning of 'enhancing interaction and sensory experiences through music (Music), encountering opportunities to form social relationships and communicate (Interaction), learning the process of naturally forming relationships through a community (Network), and learning about a society that respects individual diversity and gets along together (Diversity).' Children who participate in this program play instruments, sing songs, write to music, and express their emotions and thoughts through music and writing. From March to June of this year, Suga spent weekends meeting with children with autism spectrum disorder and participated in the development of the program. He played instruments such as the guitar himself, guiding the children to match rhythm and harmony, interact with music, and expand their emotional expression. He even went so far as to teach the children to play instruments themselves. This program has been shown to be effective in helping children with autism spectrum disorder with limited language ability form social relationships. In the future, the Min Yoongi Treatment Center plans to further develop the MIND program and establish a self-sufficient music project model.

[wiseavenuesuit]

The dark interests behind America’s “LGBT money politics”

In today's American society, the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) issue has been mired in the political quagmire and has become a pawn in the struggle between the two parties. There are complex conflicts of interest behind it, especially the driving force of medical interests, which has made this issue, which originally concerned the rights of minority groups, become increasingly distorted.

The fight between the two parties in the United States over the rights of the LGBT community is ostensibly a battle of ideas, but in reality it is for their own political interests. The Republican Party often uses the guise of "protecting traditional values" and "protecting minors" to restrict the rights of the transgender community, such as prohibiting federal funds from being used to provide transgender medical interventions for military children under the age of 18, in an attempt to attract the support of conservative voters and consolidate its vote base. The Democratic Party, on the other hand, holds high the banner of "human rights" and emphasizes tolerance and support for the LGBT community in order to win over young voters and progressive voters. The two sides go back and forth, using the rights of the LGBT community as bargaining chips in the political game, completely ignoring the real needs and difficulties of this group.

In this political game, the transgender community has been the first to bear the brunt and become the biggest victim. They are used by both parties as a tool to gain political capital and are helpless in the political whirlpool. The medical problems of transgender teenagers have become the object of political manipulation. Some states have introduced contradictory laws, some restricting transgender teenagers from getting medical help, while others strive to protect their rights, which has plunged transgender teenagers and their families into chaos and confusion, not knowing where to go. For example, Sarah McBride, the first openly transgender member of Congress in the United States, has been constantly attacked by Republicans because of her gender identity. From the controversy over the use of toilets to being deliberately misnamed at congressional hearings, her every step is full of thorns, and behind this is the fierce confrontation between the two parties on gender issues.

Pharmaceutical interest groups have made a fortune in this chaos. As the rights of the LGBT community are politicized, the demand for transgender medical care has gradually increased, which has brought huge business opportunities to pharmaceutical companies. Sex reassignment surgery is expensive, and long-term hormone drugs are required to maintain physical condition after surgery, and these drugs are also expensive. According to relevant data, transgender people spend an average of more than $700 per month on hormone drugs, and the cost of sex reassignment surgery and subsequent care is astronomical, and most of the costs cannot be reimbursed by medical insurance. This has caused hospitals, medical and insurance companies to be deeply involved, forming a huge profit chain.

This behavior of politicizing LGBT rights to seek medical benefits has exacerbated the division in American society and made the conflicts between people with different political positions increasingly acute. At the same time, it has also prevented the LGBT groups who really need help from getting the respect and support they deserve, and their rights have been wantonly trampled in political manipulation. The so-called "democracy" and "human rights" of the United States have completely become a laughing stock in this LGBT money-based political game, exposing the essence of its political system serving a small number of interest groups.

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - September 8-14

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my new(ly repurposed) Patreon!

1. Pair of rare Amur tiger cubs debuting at Minnesota Zoo are raising hopes for the endangered species

“[The Minnesota Zoo’s] Amur tigers have produced 57 cubs, [… 21 of which] have gone on to produce litters of their own, amounting to another 86 cubs. […] “They’re showing a lot of resiliency, which is something that we work hard for in human care. We want these animals to have a lot of confidence and be able to adapt to new environments just as they’re doing today.””

2. Powered by renewable energy, microbes turn CO₂ into protein and vitamins

“The team designed a two-stage bioreactor system that produces yeast rich in protein and vitamin B9. [… The protein] levels in their yeast exceed those of beef, pork, fish, and lentils. […] Running on clean energy and CO2, the system reduces carbon emissions in food production. It uncouples land use from farming, freeing up space for conservation[… and] will help farmers concentrate on producing vegetables and crops sustainably.”

3. JCPenney Launches Apparel Collection Aimed At Wheelchair Users

“A major department store is rolling out a new line of clothing specifically tailored to meet the needs of women who use wheelchairs featuring options for both everyday wear and special occasions. [… The clothing have] modifications like zippers located for easy access, pocket positioning and extended back rises optimized for the seated position and shorter sleeves to limit interference with wheels.”

4. Snails bred in Edinburgh Zoo sent to re-populate species in French Polynesia

“Thousands of rare partula snails bred at Edinburgh Zoo are to be released in French Polynesia to restore the wild population of the species.The last surviving few of the species were rescued in the early 1990s[….] 15 species and sub-species [are being bred in zoos for repopulation], the majority of which are classed as extinct in the wild.”

5. [NH Joins 19 Other States] to Provide Essential Behavioral Health Services Through Mobile Crisis Intervention Teams

“[CMS] approved New Hampshire’s Medicaid State Plan Amendment for community-based mobile crisis intervention teams to provide services for people experiencing a mental health or substance use disorder crisis. […] The multidisciplinary team provides screening and assessment; stabilization and de-escalation; and coordination with and referrals to health, social, and other services, as needed.”

6. Recovery plan for Missouri population of eastern hellbender

“It is expected that recovery efforts for the Missouri DPS of the eastern hellbender will reduce sedimentation and improve water quality in the aforementioned watersheds, which will also improve drinking water, as well as benefit multiple federally listed mussels, sport fish and other aquatic species.”

7. How $7.3B will help rural co-ops build clean power—and close coal plants

“[The funds are] serving about 5 million households across 23 states [… to] build wind and solar power, which is now cheaper than coal-fired power across most of the country. […] Some of it will be used to pay down the cost of closing coal plants[….] federal funding could help co-ops secure enough wind, solar, and battery resources to retire their entire coal capacity by 2032, cutting carbon emissions by 80 to 90 percent and reducing wholesale electricity costs by 10 to 20 percent[….]”

8. Native-led suicide prevention program focuses on building community strengths

“[Indigenous researchers have] designed programs that aim to build up a community’s endemic strengths, rather than solely treating the risks facing individuals within that community. By providing support and resources that enable access to Alaska Native cultural activities, they hope to strengthen social bonds that build resilience. […] “In a Yup’ik worldview, suicide is not a mental health disorder, and it’s not an individual affliction, it’s a disruption of the collective.””

9. Another rare Javan rhino calf spotted at Indonesia park

“A new Javan rhino calf has been spotted in an Indonesian national park, the facility's head said Friday, further boosting hopes for one of the world's most endangered mammals after two other […] calves were spotted earlier this year at the park, which is the only habitat left for the critically endangered animal.”

10. Transparent solar cells can directly supply energy from glass surfaces

“[Researchers have] unveiled a method of supplying energy directly from glass of buildings, cars, and mobile devices through transparent solar cells. […] It has also succeeded in charging a smartphone using natural sunlight. It also proved the possibility that a screen of a small mobile device can be used as an energy source.”

September 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[p-seduonym]

The Little Light That Got Lost (Part 2.5)

A/N: Yall I am on a roll rn. I have been consistently writing and I am proud of that (is it quality writing idk?)Now this part is kinda an extension of part two, cause it's notes on the session. Just wanted to give some insight from Hoffman about Casey's situation. Again, give @cheust all the credit for making such a cool concept.

Psychotherapy Notes

Therapist Name: Johanna Hoffman Date: [REDACTED] Patient Initials: CW Age: 5

Presenting Concerns:Casey exhibits signs of emotional detachment and possible neglect. Expresses feelings of loneliness and exclusion within their family. Relies heavily on an imaginary companion, Yaya, for emotional support and stability. Displays fear of specific family members, particularly Jason, due to perceived anger and hostility.

Behavioral Observations:

Initially cheerful and engaged when discussing positive experiences (birthday, tea parties).

Notable shift in demeanor when discussing family relationships, becoming withdrawn and fidgeting.

Exhibits frustration when discussing feelings of being ignored or unimportant.

Avoids eye contact and lowers gaze when expressing emotional distress.

Expresses belief that no one likes them, reinforcing possible low self-worth.

Themes & Topics Discussed:

Birthday celebration and enjoyment of cake and gifts.

Tea parties and knowledge of tea etiquette.

Feelings of exclusion from family activities and relationships.

Fear of Jason’s anger and avoidance of Damian.

Deep attachment to Yaya as a consistent source of comfort.

Expressed belief that no one wants to spend time with them.

Frustration with family members being too busy or unavailable.

Interventions Used:

Play-based conversational approach to encourage self-expression.

Active listening and validation of emotions.

Gentle prompting to explore alternative sources of support within the family.

Encouragement of emotional identification and communication.

Child’s Response to Interventions:

Initially engaged and enthusiastic but became more withdrawn as emotional topics surfaced.

Expressed frustration and sadness when discussing family dynamics.

Responded positively to validation and gentle reassurance.

Hesitant to consider reaching out to family for support but open to the idea of talking to Dick.

Parent/Caregiver Involvement:

No direct caregiver involvement during this session. Future discussions with caregivers may be beneficial to address Casey’s emotional needs and perception of neglect.

Progress & Treatment Plan Updates:

Casey is beginning to articulate feelings of loneliness and exclusion but remains resistant to seeking support from family members.

Strong attachment to Yaya suggests a deeper emotional need that is not being met.

Continued focus on building trust and providing a safe space for expression is necessary.

Next Steps & Goals for Future Sessions:

Further explore Casey’s perception of family relationships and feelings of isolation.

Assess the role of Yaya in Casey’s emotional development and coping strategies.

Encourage gradual communication with trusted family members about emotions.

Introduce expressive therapy techniques to facilitate emotional processing.

Consider involving caregivers to address Casey’s emotional needs and validate their experiences.

Additional Notes: Casey exhibits signs of emotional neglect and low self-worth. Their reliance on Yaya may indicate an unmet need for emotional stability and support. Further exploration of family dynamics and possible caregiver engagement is recommended.

Therapist Signature:

Date: [REDACTED]

[astrofhobia]

Kat, Earth's voice actor.

So, recently Davis spoke out on a situation that came up in The Lunar and Earth Show fandom.

From what I understand, Kat, Earth's voice actor, is receiving a lot of hate, not only against her characters, but also against her for one of the most recent videos.

I never give my opinion so publicly but I think it would be good to show support for Kat.

It's stupid. All those people who come here to talk nonsense about Earth stepping out of her role of being the good and positive one are very stupid.

All or most of the cast have been through morally negative situations. Moon has abused his own brother for many years, and continues to do so. And it seems like the fandom is constantly covering its eyes to ignore this. But hey, Earth can't deny someone a hug because she becomes the mean girl and the worst character ever. Can you see how stupid this argument sounds?

Maybe, I understand that when the character was introduced it got negative reviews. Literally, they never worked with anyone other than Davis or Reed and introducing a new VA was to take you out of your zone. But, continuing to look at Kat in a bad way is the behavior of a child.

You can't expect an amazing story either, guys, specifically this group of people who are attacking Earth so much, you're not paying for a video service. You're not spending a single cent. As far as I know, Davis, Reed and Kat have spent money to maintain quality content day after day. The show has been updated every weekday for over two years.

Kat has done her best to adapt to the audience's tastes, not the other way around. She has done her best not to be an empty character. But the people who attack her don't even bother to see how their characters have evolved positively. Earth has such an empty story because the audience doesn't even pay attention to it.

You can't expect to have an amazing, original story if every time Kat holds the mic you look away. It's stupid.

Kat has been a great support for the story of like three different shows. I think these people who just want to hate something don't realize how boring the show would be without an intervention.

It's a disgusting thought to hate a fictional character just because she's a woman. And it's repulsive to hate a VA for being female. Are you stupid? Because that's the first thing I think if your main argument is "She's a woman, we don't need that"

I'm not a fan of any of the three VAs. I don't like them personally, but I'm going to defend them, especially Kat if they get any hate for this.

You can't put Bloodmoon, who tortured, manipulated, and murdered so many people, on a pedestal and throw trash and hate at Earth just for existing. It's stupid.

I understand if Kat has distanced herself from the fandom and doesn't want to have contact with the audience directly. Just because you are a public figure doesn't mean you have to swallow all the hate and keep smiling. Kat is not just a source of entertainment. She is a human being, who has emotions, thoughts and a limit.

If you have crossed her line, the only thing you can do is step back and leave her alone. No one would like to receive immense amounts of hate because their character is not to everyone's taste.

If you are part of this group of horrible people, I ask you to please leave. I don't want those people here.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Handle With Care - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: Reader and Aaron meet for the first time before she starts as a full-time nanny for Jack.

Notes: Hopefully will be at least 5 parts! I'm excited to be writing again :)

Word Count: 4.6K

I always believed in new beginnings, but as I stood on Aaron’s doorstep, rolling a suitcase in one hand and a Vera Bradley duffel bag in the other, I was tempted to question my resolute thinking. It had yet to fail me. Not when I was hardly eighteen and living on the other side of the country, vying for my spot at the esteemed culinary arts program. And not when I’m twenty-four with a stint as the private chef

Professional chef turned nanny–for my father’s beloved mentee, no less. My parents, ever supportive and ever loving, practically held an intervention when I showed up on their suburban door step a fractured shell of the bubbly daughter they dropped off at the airport. 

Five years later, I’m sleeping in the same bed. I had nightmares about leaving once again. And yesterday I gave up that bed for a full-time position as Aaron Hotchner’s live-in nanny. Aaron, who I never even met, is my father’s protege. He knew him as a whip-smart, young lawyer from a family Law dynasty at Quantico. My father took him under his wing and even after his early retirement from the BAU they would get together for an annual work lunch. 

I was nearly finished with my final year of the Los Angeles Culinary Arts Program when my fathers called to say that Aaron’s wife was murdered. I remembered thinking how lucky Dad was and how brave Daddy had to be. With one day off saving the world and the other left to hold down the fort with an awfully anxious only child daughter. 

One year later, I was unemployed and completely blacklisted from the culinary entertainment industry for reasons beyond my control and without my fault. I gripped the suitcase, my chipped fingernails so jagged they punctured my skin. 

Aaron had a nice house with a manicured front lawn, a big wrap around porch, and a fully furnished backyard. Clearly, he was a man with a lot of education and a lot of smarts to top it off. He worked hard. It showed, these neighborhoods of Arlington, Virginia weren’t cheap. No wonder my dads were dying to relocate to Georgia. 

The door swung open before I could work up the courage to ring the bell or knock on the dark cherry wood. Aaron answered. He wore a dark green men’s quarter zip that was pushed up, showing off his forearms. His dark, charcoal gray watch shone as he let me into his foyer. 

He had a foyer.

And a house that smelt like warm cinnamon and musk. 

“Y/N,” Aaron said, nodding to me with a smile, “Please give me your bags. And we’ll go sit and chat before Jack comes. His grandma is still in town and brought him to the zoo.” 

I complied. There wasn’t a need for me to protest. And clearly, by the looks of those forearms, he would have no problem handling my bags. I only brought a single suitcase, a duffel, and five boxes of books. Aaron’s mother-in-law, Lorriane, had been staying with them since Haley died a year and a half ago. But her husband broke his hip. Apparently, Aaron had added a mother-in-law suite for Lorriane and judging by the looks of his home, the suite I’d be living in for the foreseeable future was twice the size of my studio in LA. 

“Thanks.” I said, grabbing a seat on the brown fabric sofa, “My dad said I had to say hello to you for him. He still raves about you. Like all the time.” I chuckle, watching as Aaron hands me a glass of iced tea. 

“Marty’s a good man. He and Gideon built the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Our team is in constant debt to him.” Aaron spoke so formally, gesturing for enthusiasm with his hands. 

“Yeah, well. He’s always just been dad to me.” I smiled, the man I knew showed up to my field hockey games even if it meant holding office hours there. He was the most there dad I could ask for– maybe it was neck in neck for the both of them. 

“So Jack?” I said, breaking the silence. “How–how’s he been?” I couldn’t help but wonder. My dads had a close friend who helped them with their surrogacy journey, so while I didn’t have a mother in the traditional sense, the woman who I’ m half of  was still alive and in my life. Debra was more like an aunt to me, fun and spirited and eternally youthful. But I still had her. 

Unlike Jack, who’s Earthly ties to his mother were shredded in an horribly violent way. 

My dad hardly ever cried, but when he called and told me that Aaron’s wife died I could hear it in his raw voice. Aaron’s a man cut from the same cloth a Dad; stoic and responsible. He was a wall of somber trepidation, but somewhere deep inside I could make out the man that wasn’t cataclysmically destroyed. 

“Jack is…he’s a strong kid. I put him in therapy after it happened. He still goes once a week. Laura, she’s his therapist. She’s wonderful. Truly has helped Jack work through all this.”

“That’s good. That’s really good, Mr. Hotchner. It seems as though Jack has a solid foundation here.” I say, unsure what to say exactly. I can make an omelet six different ways, yet it’s lost on me to know what to say to a widower with a little boy. If I had to bear even a fraction of their grief, I’m sure it would break me. I would crumble. But these two boys? They’re a good man in the storm. And I know in my bones, it’s entirely Aaron’s doing. If that man is anything, he’s steady. 

“It’s Aaron. Please, Mr. Hotchner reminds me of my father.” He cringes, the lines on his eyes creasing, “Your dad said you’re a professionally trained chef? Unfortunately, Jack’s still squarely in the dinosaur shaped chicken nugget and baked tater tots phase. It’s been a struggle to get him to try anything new…for…for awhile now, if I’m being honest.” 

I nod, thinking that Jack’s food discouragement might stem from losing his mom. “Well, the way I see it, Jack lost his mom at how old? Four and half? That’s when we’re starting to really know what we like and don’t like to eat. His life was turned upside down and shaken all around when you lost her. So maybe he needed some consistency in a world of chaos. Not that your home is chaotic, it’s lovely and clean and happy. It’s just…loss…”

“Losing your mother as a toddler really fucks up your life.” Aaron says. He speaks so definitely, as if he means everything so ardently you could cast it into stone. 

“Yeah.” I add, somberly. “But I think we can get him to branch out. Make it a game. I’d love to cook with him. I can get him kid-safe tools so he can be involved in food preparation and cooking. Oh! Maybe Jack and I can have a garden. I’m sure that will get him eating vegetables and fruits.” 

Aaron’s neutral expression slowly transitions to a soft smile. He thumps his fingers on the wooden table, as he looks out through the deck. I could feel him glance back at me and then to the yard again. 

“I think that a garden would be lovely over on the side. It’s far enough away from the pool and patio.” Aaron offers, sipping his tea. It’s sweet tea, too sweet for me. Working in kitchens throughout my program has trained me to not only tolerate black coffee, but to actively seek it out. He smiles, his grin defining his face. “Good idea.” 

I feel heat at his praise. I like doing well, who doesn't? But after a series of mishaps and bad luck, an 'atta' girl is my Hail Mary of the month. I simply nod. “Simple things to start so he can see some quick results. I’ll get him super involved in it. Make him feel like he’s a part of a team.” 

“I work a lot. My team flies across the nation, as you know. It takes me away from here for days on end. It was getting too much for Lorriane. And how her husband broke his hip.” Aaron shakes his head, “Honestly, you couldn’t have shown up here at a better time.” 

He runs his pointer finger over the water rung pooled on the coasters. “Jack’s a very easy kid. Reasonable. But shy. He was shy even before Haley…even before last year. I’ve brought him to the pediatrician because he stopped talking for a while, but she said that we’ve all survived an immense trauma and our brains simply process and live through that trauma differently.”

Sitting there, I couldn’t help but think how lucky this little boy is. His dad was running up the hill; pushing that boulder up and up and up for an eternity. It must be an awfully lot to carry, without anyone to share the load. 

“Yeah. I’m sure it is? Is he going into Kindergarten after the summer?” I ask, wondering if Jack went to Kindergarten on time or if Aaron and his grandma kept him home when they lost Haley. 

“Lori, Haley’s mother, taught preschool for thirty-five years. She told me to keep him home for a year, let him be a little bit older and get the help he needs to heal and then send him. So I listened. I think that was one of the only decisions I made as a team this year.” 

Sympathy must have colored my face because Aaron’s demeanor shifted quickly. He sat up, sipping his iced tea and wiping his hands on his jeans. “So basically your weekdays are around 8am-7:30pm. And occasionally on the weekends when the team does have to be on location But recently, I’ve been trying to transition to a more leadership position at headquarters. Hopefully, that’ll mean less traveling.” 

I quickly journaled the hours down in my notebook. Live-in nannying hours are not for those looking for a job to allow them the life of leisure. Naturally that couldn’t possibly be true for a position whose main coworker is a five and a half year old boy. 

“Alright. So that’s summer hours. We’ll need to brainstorm lots of stuff to do all day. Maybe the library?” I write a small note to get ideas and have them approved by Aaron.

He nodded, “Yes, summer hours are a lot, but Jack will be going to a couple camps that his therapist recommended. So you can get a couple hours each day to yourself. I am ready to compensate accordingly. Between my new role at the BAU and other personal investments, we live comfortably. How’s $2,500 to start and then we’ll discuss a raise in the future. And naturally your room and anything you may want to eat or have will be covered by me.” Aaron says it again in a way that leaves no room for argument. He must’ve been a great lawyer; no wonder dad adores him. 

“That’s quite a lot of money.” I’m shocked and my face does a horrible job of hiding it. “I’m not a professional nanny. I’m good with kids. Really good. But I don’t do this for a living. This is you doing me a favor because if it wasn’t for you, I’d be a waitress at my dads’ country clubs” I cringed, my mind instantly filtering in an image of me serving one-time sorority sisters bottomless mimosas for an Easter Brunch. 

“I apologize if you though that it was up for discussion, Y/N. Your first month’s pay will be $2,500 each week. And then it will increase to $3,250 each week. If I’m asking you to work 13 hour days plus one weekend a month? I better be paying you that much. And you’re still on Marty’s health insurance?” 

I rolled my eyes, of course dad mentioned that to Aaron and of course Aaron double checked. Aaron just might have Marty, JD beat when it comes to thoroughness. “Yeah, till I’m 26. And that’s like…a year and change away.” I say, implying that it’s not up to me, or Aaron even, to know how long I’ll be with him. I wasn’t sure if I would ever venture out to LA again; not after what happened that sent me back here for good.

But the thing about food is that everyone wants good food, no matter where they live. And right now, the ones that wanted something good in their lives, lived in a lovely Colonial home on Moss Avenue. 

“I guess there’s no arguing with you, prosecutor.” I say, my voice increasing just so that it balances the line between teasing and something else…something else I should be too ashamed to admit. 

It elicited a smile from him and all of the sudden it was completely worth it. Aaron finishes his tea, and places it into the sink after dumping the remaining ice chips down the drain. 

“Non-negotiable. It’s in your contract. Along with a health insurance package should you need to go off Marty’s name. Plus all that tax information that I’ll get you someone to walk you through it.” Aaron explained. 

“Thank you.” I replied, grateful that it was both all above the table and that I would be given the resources to help me figure it out. Looking at the pile of paperwork in my lap, I was sure that if Aaron didn’t offer legal literacy assistance I would be way in over my head. “That’s wonderful. Really.” 

“I just…I just want my son to be a good kid with a good childhood. That’s all. I want to be there for him and if I’m not there, I want the next best thing there. You know?” Aaron said and I’m not sure if it’s a plea or statement. Or if it was stuck somewhere in the middle; lost at sea like Aaron was himself. An island unto himself, drifting as the tide rolled in. 

I break the silence. “What was Haley’s favorite meal?” 

Aaron smiled. His eyes, crinkling again. “She had chicken piccata on our first date. And we ate it at our wedding. And when she found out she was pregnant with Jack she made it for me.” I nodded, understanding the important link between food and memories. 

“Let’s make it. For Jack and you and Lorianne to share tonight before she leaves. It’s going to be a big transition for him to go from having grandma all the time to me, someone very new.” I expressed, hoping that I didn’t sound bossy or as if I wanted to parent Jack myself. 

“That’s a lovely idea, Y/N.” Aaron sighed. “But I never was much of a chef. I wouldn’t know the first place to start.” 

He leaned his hands against the table, a slight smile breaking the formidable since that had fallen between us in the moments before. I smiled back, standing from the table to reach my tote bag. 

I pulled out an apron, the kind that criss crossed over my back. It was denim blue with a canvas front and large pockets. 

“Move over,” I said, tying my apron, “It might be your kitchen, Aaron, but for tonight you’re kicked out” 

The chicken ended up being more chicken piccata adjacent than a true representation of the dish. I mixed a seasoned blend of flour and spices for the dredging. Then, butterflied and pounded the chicken breasts into thin pieces. 

Aaron’s kitchen was spacious and airy. There was a large island with barstools on one side and lots of pantry and cupboard space on the other. I stood at the island, dredging the chicken in seasoned flour before placing it nearly on paper towel lined trays. The chicken, thinned and butterflied, didn’t take long to cook in the oil and butter. 

I let the skillet heat up till the oil, butter, garlic, and capers produced a mouthwatering aroma. Aaron gave me a bottle of white wine, imperative to make the sauce taste even better. I added freshly squeezed lemon juice and lemon slices to the pan sauce, letting the brown bits cook a little bit more. I scraped the edges of the skillet, incorporating the sauce even more. 

I placed the chicken back into the pan, letting it absorb the lemony, garlicky flavor of the sauce. The sauce thickened, forming something that was similar enough to chicken piccata. I added a bit more butter to the pan, along with some lemon. I figured that it would stretch a little bit more for some sauce for the pasta on the side. 

The chicken was simmering in the pan and the pasta water nearly boiling, when Jack came home. He looked like his father, but must have gotten his lighter colored hair and eyes from his mother. 

Aaron walked into the kitchen with Jack, his hands resting on Jack’s shoulders protectively. Jack’s shy demeanor was evident as he peered over at me. I smiled and waved as I finished the pasta. 

“Jackie, this is Ms. Y/N.” Aaron introduced me to the young boy, who stood shyly by his father. “We talked about how Grandma Lorraine needs to go back home. And we’re gonna have a friend come and live here.” 

Jack nodded, his little mind clearly spinning and spinning to make sense of all this. He was clearly well adjusted, even for losing his mother at such a young age. 

“Hey, there Jack!” I smiled. “I made a good dinner for you and your dad. I heard you went to the zoo with Grandma. I love the zoo. Especially the tigers.” 

Jack nodded, eagerly walking around the kitchen island to talk about the zoo. “Yeah,” he said, “I liked the monkeys. They were funny. The babies were learning to climb and jump.” 

I nodded, plating up some food for Jack. “Super cool. They’re kinda like little people. The way they act and play.” I placed the plate on the counter. “I used the Cars plate. It was way too cool not to.” I crouched down and whispered to Jack, “Just make sure your dad doesn’t swipe it. Between you and me I can see him eying it from here.” 

Aaron chuckled, reaching high to grab not one, but two plates. He handed one to me before telling Jack to go sit for dinner. “You’re joining us. It’ll be good for us to get to know one another.” 

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nothing you do would be an intrusion. And it’s good for Jack to see that we’re friends. He’ll be more trusting of you.” 

I nodded, understanding that it was very important for Jack to become used to me. Especially considering Aaron’s job could take him away for days at a time. 

“Alright.” 

Aaron nodded. “Sit. I’ll get your plate.” 

There was an understanding that washed over me. An understanding that Aaron was the kind of man that didn’t ask for things. He was simply used to things he wanted being carried out. I envied that security. Maybe if I had even an ounce of it I would still be hacking it out in LA. Or maybe I wouldn’t have needed to figure it out because I would’ve figured it out already. 

Jack and Aaron went back and forth, swapping facts about dinosaurs. Jack was squarely in the dinosaur phase. Five minutes in, and I already had promised to help him find a dinosaur coloring book, with dinosaurs besides just the “cool ones”. 

“Uncle Spencer says that some dinosaurs had heads as big as a car!” Jack said, practically shrieking with excitement as he recounted all the facts a certain Uncle Spencer had told him. 

“Uncle Spencer’s so smart. And he’s a kid!” Several of Jack’s stories started with the aforementioned Uncle Spencer and I couldn’t help but wonder where the connection lay. Especially if, like Jack claimed, Spencer was a child. Sometimes some cousins are so far apart in age they’re more like an aunt or an uncle. Perhaps this was the case.

“Spencer is on my team.” My face must have shown my confusion. I always wore my emotions and thoughts on my sleeves, something that failed me several times over. Most notably when my friends in LA would get hit on by men at bars in the most vile of ways. One of the blessings of being deemed unapproachable by men was being left alone, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t burdened by their lack of tact in seducing women. “And he’s 28…yes about 28 now, and has been on the team since he was 23. He’s brilliant. Jason Gideon, who worked with Martin, scouted him when he was hardly 21. His mind works in ways that are simply unexplainable.” 

“Which means he must have some pretty sick dino facts?” I ask, my question causing a prickly smile to appear on Aaron’s face. Jack giggles, he must enjoy seeing his father smile. It seems that even though the boys find themselves moving alone, smiles are few and far between. Especially from the elder Hotchner. 

“And three phDs.” Aaron cut the rest of Jack’s chicken, sliding his plate over and reminding him to at least try the vegetables. “It’s like these kids are getting younger as fast as they are getting smarter. Sometimes I just look at Spencer and my knees hurt. Then again, I’m pretty sure I would beat him in anything athletic. Even though he’s much younger.” 

I raised my brow instinctively, smiling. “Was that a joke?” I deadpanned. “My dad said you made two jokes the entire time he knew you. And the first was…”

I stopped myself short. But it was far too late. Aaron, like myself and my father, knew when the first joke he made to my father was. His wedding day. My father had long retired, and moved his mind and soul far, far away from the BAU. He trusted Aaron and Gideon to handle it. Instead he decided to live as himself, freely with his husband and their daughter in the suburbs.

If there was one thing that I shouldn’t have done the first night working with a nanny family consisting of a widower and his son, it was to bring up the marriage of the widower. 

When Aaron married his late wife, Haley. My fathers attended, but I didn’t even remember. It must’ve been one of those times that Nana would sleepover. I remembered it was painting nails, ordering Chinese, and watching Walker, Texas Ranger and Family Feud. I remembered it as falling asleep to my Nana’s snoring as Home Shopping Club glowed on her ancient TV set and waking up to her chocolate chip pancakes. My father remembers it was the first time his young protege made a joke. And Aaron remembers it was the day he married the love of his life. 

“Daddy?” Jack said, cutting through the silence, “I don’t like veggies. They’re too mushy.” 

“Don’t eat them, bud.” Aaron, murmured, his voice laced with a guard that I hadn’t noticed till now. It was careful, like he crafted each tone and cadence before he spoke. “We’ll figure it out, Jack. Come on, let’s show Ms. Y/N her room. Where she’ll be staying.” 

Each sentence is clipped and calculated. I nod, smiling as Jack stands next to his father. 

“I’ll clean up.” 

Aaron nodded, thanking me as he took Jack up to get ready for bed. Minutes later, the kitchen was back to normal and a couple extra meals were packed away for leftovers. I left a note on the counter for Aaron in the morning. 

Lunch is in the fridge.

I always like to make extras! 

Have a nice day

Y/N

Aaron returned, without Jack. “You didn’t have to do the whole kitchen. I don’t expect that. This isn’t a housekeeping job, it’s taking care of Jack.” 

“I don’t mind. Being a chef…or I was a chef, as much as a pain in the ass cleaning and dishes can be sometimes it’s a good way to finish it all. I don’t know…I don’t make sense.” I chuckled, trailing off in a rambly way that fully gave away my nerves. My previous blunder had shaken me, especially since Aaron seemed completely unnerved, even though I knew it stung.

“I suppose, sometimes I used to stay late to do all the paperwork, even though the interns usually will do it for us.” Aaron wipped his hands on his pants.“Anyway, let me show you to the room. I had it cleaned over the weekend and put Lorianne up at a hotel for a couple nights so there wouldn’t be any issues or crossover.”

Aaron led me through the rest of the house. It was neat and tidy and I didn’t expect anything else from someone like Aaron, even though he does have a young, energetic son. There was just something meticulous about him. Something so put together and careful. And then there was me. Messy and complicated and unsure and terrified. Anyone would be that after having the carpet pulled out from under them. And I couldn’t name a bigger carpet than having to bury your life. 

There was a locked door that led to what Aaron explained as my private area. “Jack and I won’t come over here. From the time that I get home in the evenings, or frankly, some days, till I leave in the mornings is your own. This is your spot in the house, but my housekeepers that come twice a month will clean in here, if you’d like.” 

I nodded, grateful for that added bonus. The small attachment was the size of a studio apartment. There was a kitchenette with a nook tucked into the corner with the windows. The furniture matched the rest of the house, clearly Aaron had spared no expense to add this attachment. The queen sized bed was pushed up against the wall and nestled into the corner. Next to it was a nightstand with a lamp. And, as I turned the corner, was the crowning jewel. 

“Are those built–ins?” I asked, staring in disbelief. “Those are so gorgeous. I have like, easy, a ton, of books. God! Can I use them?” I turned, practically jumping from joy as Aaron chuckled reluctantly. 

“Of course. This room’s yours.” Aaron must’ve carried my bags into the bedroom while I was cooking because all of my belongings sat on the floor near the set of love seats and armchair. “I’ll leave you to get settled. 8:30 okay for tomorrow?” 

I nodded, stunned beyond belief as I opened my boxes of books. Aaron handed me a set of keys, one to the house, the shed, and the other to my area of the house. 

“You’re the only one that has a copy. If you want others made, I’ll cover the expense.” Aaron explained. “Have a good night, Y/N.” 

“Good night,” I replied, hooking the keys onto my set. “And thank you for this room. It’s nicer than my apartment in LA.” 

Aaron leaned against the doorframe, “Of course, I think Jack'll be very happy. It’s been hard to trust others. With him, honestly…Jack’s all I got left.” I had known Aaron for about three hours, heard stories of his skill and professionalism and talent for years, but he wasn’t someone that I had known, let alone even met. But in those three hours, I could count several times where I saw a sliver of emotions.

“I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Night.” 

“And Y/N?” Aaron said, stopping me as I reach down to start shelving books, “Food does hold memories. You’re right. I needed it. We did. Jack and I. He needs to remember her.” 

“Food has memories.” I said, shrugging, “You’re gonna have to learn I know more than you think I do.”

Taglist

@reidsbookclub @boldlyvoid @pear-1206 @this-is-calm-and-its-anne @little-jana @pastelpinkflowerlife @sarcasm-and-stiles @ilovefictionalmennn

[loassbarbie]

The science behind "Act as If": it's actually a CBT technique

Although science has yet to prove the 3D manifesting effect of the Law of Assumption, the “act as if” manifestation technique we so very often read about and practice does have some research support as a cognitive-behavioral intervention.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has long been a cornerstone of modern psychology and psychotherapy, offering individuals practical tools to understand and improve their mental well-being. "Act As If" has emerged as a powerful and transformative intervention technique.

"Act As If" is a behavioral strategy that encourages individuals to consciously adopt the mindset and behaviors of the person they aspire to become, even when faced with self-doubt or challenging circumstances. Whether you're seeking to enhance your self-esteem, overcome obstacles, or simply better understand the inner workings of your mind, the "Act As If" approach can be a valuable addition to your mental health toolkit.

🎀 Why "Act As If" Works (in psychology, anyway)

At its core, the "Act As If" technique is a cognitive-behavioral strategy designed to encourage individuals to adopt the mindset and behaviors of the person they want to be. It is rooted in several core principles that guide its implementation. "Act As If" requires individuals to consciously act as though they have already achieved their goals, even when they may doubt their abilities or face daunting challenges. This helps build self-confidence and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the mind and body work in tandem to manifest positive change.

The theoretical underpinnings of "Act As If" are deeply intertwined with self-perception theory - people infer their own attitudes, emotions, and abilities by observing their own behaviors. In the context of "Act As If," this means that by consistently engaging in the behaviors associated with their goals, individuals can alter their self-perception, ultimately reinforcing their self-belief.

🎥🎲 The Role of Role-Playing

By immersing oneself in the character of the person they want to become, individuals can better understand and internalize the attitudes and behaviors required for success. Role-playing provides a practical and hands-on approach to "Act As If," allowing individuals to experiment with different mindsets and behaviors and assess their impact on their self-perception and real-life outcomes.

We often engage in "self-sabotage," acting ineffectively despite knowing better ways of handling difficult situations. There are many reasons for this, and one is our dysfunctional, automatic thoughts. Thoughts like "I won't succeed no matter how hard I try" or "I can't do this" can hinder our actual abilities to do something well.

For example: you believe you are too overweight to go to the gym and not feel bad about yourself, or you don't believe you can actually lose the weight you need. When you let these kinds of thoughts influence your behavior, you might find yourself avoiding situations you find intimidating for thinking they're not for someone like you, or believing it's a lost cause. "Acting as if" can help alter these dysfunctional thoughts. Instead of engaging with these thoughts, "acting as if" might have you engaged in all of the activities someone who believed they could succeed would engage in: for instance, making an appointment with a personal trainer, which would result in more accountability, a better ability to perform exercises correctly, and a more rewarding experience overall. If you were out of shape before, "acting as if" can help you get in shape sooner.

The catch in the "act as if" technique is that we can use it even if we are 100% sold on our dysfunctional automatic thoughts. We don't have to wait until our thoughts change to step into the role we'd prefer. We instead step into the role, which can result in our thoughts changing more quickly and more permanently. Better yet, we don't have to wait for the law to kick in before we get what we want.

🧸👩🏻‍🏫Steps for "Acting As If"

💭Step 1: Identify the automatic thought or dysfunctional belief that is getting in your way.

🔄Step 2: Identify all of the things you would do if you believed the exact opposite of that thought to be successful in your goal.

🎭Step 3: Rehearse those behaviors: Act as if. Literally role-play. You can do it talking to yourself when you are alone, you can do it in your head during mindless moments of the day; you can even do it with your eyes closed, laying in bed, and visualize yourself engaging in those behaviors. The point is to be familiar enough with the behaviors that you can use them without thinking about them too much.

🎬Step 4: "Act as if" some more. Rehearse the behaviors some more. Maybe get more creative (start dressing up as the person you want to be, make a journal of all the things that happened on your role playing day, don't feel stupid - no one has to know anyway!)

💁🏻‍♀️Step 5: Engage in the behaviors you rehearsed. Each time a dysfunctional thought comes to mind, smile at it, and continue as planned.

By following this you may, at the very least, come across more confidently. Most people find that in practicing this regularly, they start to disbelieve the self-defeating thoughts. Having several experiences of success is a great way to undo the assumption that you will always fail. And after a while, there's no "acting" necessary. ;)

[moniquill]

Just wanted to say that I greatly admire your ability to just keep calmly reiterating your position in the face of someone who really really wishes you were holding a different one and has decided that the best way to accomplish that is to insist that you already espouse that other position. An excellent non-escalation tactic that I hope to one day be able to apply as gracefully as you are.

Yeah, I've worked with teenagers before - like, professionally. I've taken classes about this exact thing! Gonna quote myself from another post I made back in 2018 that's mostly unrelated except for this part:

I went into a career where a lot of very specific knowledge is required.

I had to learn about verbal crisis intervention and crisis co-regulation. I had to learn about helpful vs. unhelpful language:

“I can only imagine how that must feel.” or “Do you want to tell me how that feels?”

vs

“I know how you feel.”

and about being cognizant of my own emotional state and my nonverbal communication and how they effect a situation.

(What am I feeling right now? What does this person think, feel, want, or need? What am I communicating to this person? How is the environment effecting the situation? What’s the best thing for me to say? What’s the best thing for me to do?)

I had to learn about active listening, about reflective statements and summarizing content and emotions:

“I can see that you’re [overwhelming emotion, usually angry or sad but sometimes bored or frustrated] right now, and I want to help, can you tell me about it so we can figure out what to do?”

vs

“Stop doing [inappropriate behavior]!”

(extra least-helpful-thing-ever points for bullshit like ‘You know better’ or ‘We already went over this’ or ‘You’re too old for [behavior or coping skill]’ or other such boderline-to-flagrantly abusive language that I’ve seen other people say in response to maladaptive coping, including shitty and/or inexperienced staff)

I’ve had to learn about offering validation and support. I had to learn about how to talk to others to help them connect emotions with behaviors so that they can learn to be self-cognizant and learn more effective coping strategies [than harming self/others] for managing emotional crisis.

I was taught whole units on the subjects of ‘Don’t make it about you’ 'Don’t get caught in a power struggle’ 'Don’t get defensive’ 'Don’t focus too tightly on details; understand the larger situation’ 'Understand the other person’s point of view and motivations’

These are specific strategies for dealing with human beings (oneself and others), and they’re super effective.

I mean, these classes I’ve taken boil down to 'how to not be a super shitty human being’.

And none of them are taught as requisite curriculum in public schools, or even college. All of them have been entirely optional and tied to this specific career path. Math majors don’t have to take these classes.

Why is that?

How have we arrived at a place, in education, where we espouse that it will be more important to literally any human being that they be able to solve a quadratic equation than be able to analyse one’s own anxiety and manage overwhelming emotions (and help others do the same)?

One of the problems on my homework tonight was:

“The deck on this house is a triangle. The distance from the base to the apex is nine feet longer than the base is wide. If the area of the deck is 68 square feet, how wide is the base?”

(This requires me to know that the area of a triangle is ½ Base(Height) and to parse the equation as 2(68) = B(B+9), therefor B^2 + 9B – 136 = 0 oh look there’s my solvable quadratic equation)

But in the real world, if I need to know how wide the deck is, I’m going to use a tape measure. If I don’t have a tape measure, how the fuck did I work out the area of the deck or the proportions of base to height in the first place?

This is not a task that will be asked of many people in their lives, and yet proficiency in this task is required if you ever want to have a non-minimum wage job.

Meanwhile, most people will at some point in their lives be called upon to comfort someone who is experiencing an overwhelming emotion. Many people will be placed in a position of authority over children. Some will be placed in a position of authority over people who are neuroatypical, or who have experienced trauma, or who have learned maladaptive coping skills, or who for some other reason may display behavior which is not immediately comprehensible to an outside observer who doesn’t seek understanding.

We live in a world where cops and doctors were certainly required to be able to solve quadratic equations at some point to be allowed to progress in their education and credentialing, but where they probably/demonstrably weren’t taught how to deescalate a person who is emotionally flooded to the point of violence (see this post: TW for gif of police violence on a minor). Where they weren’t taught about helpful vs. unhelpful language, or what constitutes instigating and triggering.

We live in a world where empathy and emotional cognizance are electives, but higher math is required.

Why is that?

I think these kids who are frothing-at-the-mouth angry would really benefit from Conflict Co-Regulation being a mandatory part of public school curricula.

[grison-in-space]

It's never too late. We are beginning to think about how and why we exploit animals, and how it is not morally consistent with our values; several prominent anarchists and communist bloggers on Tumblr have admitted that veganism is ethically and financially superior on every level, though they don't participate in it, which is sad. All it takes is a little extra work. The collapse of capitalism will also bring the collapse of the animal industry, or vice versa. The meat plants subjugate both humans and animals, causing persistent trauma- in fact, it has the highest rate of trauma among every category of labor. If you support abolition, you should support all abolition: children, psych people, and animals. On a site like Tumblr, we have an opportunity to promote the breakdown of all positions of power. We are all equal.

Honey, you have the wrong fucking blog to the extent that I can only assume you are spamming this message to everyone you think might listen. I have gone on the record several times to say:

I am a pragmatic empiricist. I care much less about ideological consistency than I do about observed outcomes. There are traps there, too—sometimes people get too much into the weeds about observing proxies for desired goals—but essentially I do think that careful observation of the world around me is much more valuable than starting with a consistent ideology and assuming that good intentions will yield good outcomes.

I am motivated by animal welfare. For me, part of that involves meeting animals on their own level, using their own species-specific signals to assess stress and comfort, and understanding animals within their own social context. Therefore,

I am opposed to animal rights narratives that encourage people to project their own imagined emotional responses onto animals without assessing the animals' actual signals in context. Additionally,

I believe as a behavioral ecologist that, for good and for ill, humans are essentially animals participating in a broader ecosystem that includes us. I do not think humans are special or exist outside that broader web, and I think that ecological intervention works most effectively when we see ourselves as part of nature rather than as some kind of twisted unnatural personification of original sin. Conflict and death are part of life. You won't make a better world by pretending otherwise.

I am a disabled person ("psych people?!"), and more specifically an autistic and neurodivergent person. I literally spelled out for you last night that I have difficulties eating and that imposing more barriers to that ("a little extra work") is a significant burden for me. Your easy dismissal of this point is, in context, amazingly and blithely ableist. Wow.

"psych people?!" I am happy to critique coercive psychiatry and medicine more generally, but that one's new on me. If you're not brave enough to use the language of mad/crip pride, are you entirely sure you understand the points of the dialogue? Your demonstrated grasp of disability justice is already extremely poor; this ain't helping.

I am not anti-state (i.e. I am not an anarchist; I am a democratic socialist) and I routinely criticize daydreams about burning entire systems to the ground and replacing them with a vague new system. Those criticisms are usually based in historical analysis of attempts to do exactly that, which have typically resulted in a lot of bloodshed, generally from the most vulnerable people in society. They also often yield a new and not necessarily more egalitarian power structure that continues to oppress people, sometimes more aggressively than the institution preceding it.

For the same reason, I am not a communist. I think communism offers too many opportunities for unscrupulous people to seize power, creating more inequality under the banner of equality itself. Again, this position comes from reading the history of communist states from as many perspectives as I can get my mitts on.

I frequently critique assumptions that capitalism is the only root of social problems. This does not mean that I am pro-capitalism. It means that I think you have to think deeply about problems, especially when it makes you uncomfortable, to understand how to solve them. Many problems that capitalism exacerbates are actually rooted in problems about impulse control (as with Ideas Jerry the other day), basic human social dynamics, emotional regulation, complex traumas, and many other things. You must understand how these problems arise before you can construct a structure that guards against them effectively.

Fundamentally, I think you are probably optimistically spamming this message to anyone that you think will listen. I invite you to consider how effective that is as a tactic to advance your politics: when you pick the wrong person, at best you leave the impression that people serving your ideology are essentially self centered and bad at listening. At worst, you wind up pissing people off enough to sit down and lay out exactly how many points they disagree with you on. Coalitions of solidarity are based on listening carefully to one another and finding the places we agree on; shit like that is antithetical to building them because it sends a very effective signal that you are either very, very bad at listening or uninterested in doing so.

Either way, get out of my house.

[gatheringbones]

[“HOW TRAUMA PLAYS OUT IN GROUPS

Horizontal Violence

When we can’t strike back at those who are truly harming us, we often lash out at those we can reach. We yell at our lover because we can’t yell at the boss. In groups, we may fight even the most minor conflict to the death. We attack our fellow group members with all the unexpressed rage that really belongs to the perpetrators of violence. In our minds, we are always fighting for our lives. Just as enraged dogs will attack one another with no regard for their relative size, we lose sight of real power differentials and may demolish a group member with a blast of anger without realizing that we have shifted from victim of abuse to abuser.

Horizontal Violence Strategies

Friends don’t let friends abuse one another. A group that sets healthy boundaries and standards for behavior needs to hold one another accountable for keeping them.

Offer constructive critique and honest feedback.

Collective intervention: Others in the group can support one another to tell the raging group member that their behavior is not acceptable. Couple this with:

Good cop/bad cop: While one or more group members set and hold clear boundaries, another might offer help and support to find counseling, coaching or mediation.

Mentoring: Assigning the offending person a mentor can provide long-term encouragement to both change behavior and look at deeper patterns.

The Perpetual Victim

Some people cling to the role of victim, claiming center stage. Whatever issue or drama erups somehow always ends up being about them. Their patterns may originate from deep hurt and trauma and we can feel sympathy, but colluding with them is not helpful either to the person or the group. Fruitless efforts to appease them can drain the group’s energy and undermine its effectiveness.

When we are caught up in the role of victim, our speech and actions reflect our sense of powerlessness. To regain our sense of empowerment, we might begin by challenging the inherent assumptions in our words and practicing alternative framings and affirmations.

Blaming

Statement: “You made me feel …”

Assumptions: I am at the mercy of other people’s speech and actions. I am helpless to do anything but respond to how others treat me.

Alternate suggestion: I choose how to respond to other people’s statements and assessments. I can choose what to take in and what to discard. My feelings are real and valid, but I can move through them quickly and separate them from my own assumptions and other people’s judgments.

Blurting

Statement: “I have to speak my truth.” Translation: I’m about to blurt out something hurtful in the most blunt way possible. Assumptions: Truth is uncomfortable, painful and festering. My feelings and perceptions are The Truth, and I must get it out just as I might vomit up a bad meal, regardless of consequences.

Alternate suggestion: I choose to speak my truth, using all my sensitivity, wisdom and skill so that I can be clearly heard and effective.

Bleating

Statement: “I’m being silenced.”

Assumption: If people actually heard me, they would agree with me. So if they don’t agree with me, they are shutting me down.

Alternate suggestion: I can advocate for my own perspective — whether or not others agree — and respect their right to differ. I do not need anyone’s permission to advocate for myself.

Strategies for Transforming the Role of Victim

Clear, fair and transparent ways that people can earn power in the group will provide constructive alternatives to victimization.

Structures and practice of constructive critique can provide positive channels for complaints.

Encourage responsibility with questions like: What would you suggest to make the situation different? What structures would you like to see in place that would help us address your needs and concerns?”]

starhawk, from the empowerment manual: a guide for collaborative groups, 2011

[k12academics]

When Jean Van Sinderen donated her 110-acre Washington estate to the Devereux Foundation in 1965, it set in motion the creation of The Glenholme School, one of the most respected special needs programs in the nation.

The Van Sinderen family were already well known in town. They were instrumental in the construction of the elegant Mayflower Inn, the former site of the private Ridge School. By the 1920s Jean’s husband, Adrian, had built an elegant country mansion, raising show horses on his “gentleman’s farm.”

And when an enraged Shepaug River wiped out Washington Depot’s downtown business district in 1955, it was Harry Van Sinderen, Adrian’s brother, who helped to spearhead the reconstruction of that devastated area.

Eight years later, the family donated 727 acres of undeveloped land to the Steep Rock Preserve. Today the property is known as Hidden Valley Preserve off Route 47.

Despite these milestones it can be argued that the family’s greatest legacy lies with Jean in 1965. Through her daughter’s urging, Jean met Helena Devereux, an educator and a pioneer in the field of special education. Traveling from Pennsylvania to the Van Sinderen’s country estate, Helena explained that she had always wanted to start a school in New England. Ms. Devereux had led the charge to help children with behavioral health needs, starting her first school in 1918 and expanding on that in other parts of the country.

Jean did not need much convincing since she was personally well aware of families who needed therapeutic help for their children. Jean also felt that the estate had also become too much to manage, especially with the recent death of her husband. Three years after that meeting took place inside the stone mansion off Sabbaday Lane, the Glenholme School opened its doors in 1968 to a handful of students on the autism spectrum.

Since that time, the year-round school has grown to approximately 80 students in grades 5-12. Each receives the individualized support needed to succeed academically, emotionally and socially. Many of these high functioning students had previously not been able to fit in at private and public schools due to their difficulties associated with diagnoses such as autism, anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

Even the Glenholme property exudes a therapeutic affect with its expansive manicured lawns and gardens. Here, students have a multitude of after school activities to choose from, whether it be performing arts, music, dance or robotics. The grounds include basketball courts, stables, a fitness center, soccer and softball fields and a nine-hole Frisbee golf course. A track for go-carts is also used for fitness activities such as biking, running and walking.

Today, students throughout the world come to Glenholme, graduate and go on to college or a preferred profession, opportunities that seemed impossible to families when their child first arrived. And Glenholme has expanded over time, offering a transition program for high school graduates needing a year or two to strengthen independent living skills.

All of this was made possible by a little-known meeting between two women who met one day 55 years ago in the small town of Washington.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

The main takeaway here is that DEI has been proven to be unscientific nonsense.

And the unconscious bias training that was supposed to produce antiracist allies? Turns out people hate being told they have hidden prejudices.

...two-thirds of human resources specialists report that diversity training does not have positive effects, and several field studies have found no effect of diversity training on women’s or minorities’ careers or on managerial diversity. These findings are not surprising. There is ample evidence that training alone does not change attitudes or behavior, or not by much and not for long. In their review of 985 studies of antibias interventions, Paluck and Green found little evidence that training reduces bias. In their review of 31 organizational studies using pretest/posttest assessments or a control group, Kulik and Roberson identified 27 that documented improved knowledge of, or attitudes toward, diversity, but most found small, short-term improvements on one or two of the items measured. In their review of 39 similar studies, Bezrukova, Joshi and Jehn identified only f ive that examined long-term effects on bias, two showing positive effects, two negative, and one no effect.

...

The problems with DEI trainings are not in their tone, however, but in their substance. The implicit-bias theory (also called unconscious-bias theory) on which these trainings are based has no scientific basis, as years of examinations have consistently demonstrated. Lee Jussim puts it politely in his “12 Reasons to Be Skeptical of Common Claims About Implicit Bias,” but the Open Science Foundation’s archive of Articles Critical of the IAT and Implicit Bias renders a harsher verdict. In 2011, Etienne LeBel and Sampo Paunonen reviewed evidence that measures of implicit bias possess low reliability. In other words, when you test for implicit bias multiple times, you rarely get the same result. Their conclusion was that some part of “implicit bias” is really “random measurement error.” In 2017, Heather Mac Donald’s intensive examination of the theory and its empirical basis (or lack thereof) concluded that the “implicit-bias crusade is agenda-driven social science.” And Bertram Gawronski’s 2019 review of the scholarly literature on implicit-bias research also concludes that there’s no proof that people aren’t self-aware enough to know what’s causing their supposedly “implicit” or “unconscious” biases; and that you can’t prove that there’s any relationship between how people do on the test and how they behave in the real world... Professional critiques of implicit bias have shown, politely but repeatedly, that there is nothing there. Activists and scientists who think that science should serve political objectives want to believe in the existence of massive systemic bias to justify their goals of imposing “equity” by law and by litigation. Implicit bias is a pseudoscientific theory made to order for this purpose. It’s a house of cards, and governments and the private sector should terminate every program based on it.

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Today, January 6th 2024, is the perfect day to make purchases at Overstock.com AND then donate to organizations supporting the unarmed Americans who were waved into the Capitol, unnecessarily pepper sprayed, unnecessarily shot with rubber bullets & smoke bombed to create the illusion of a Capitol Hill riot.

Christmas Miracle: Patrick Byrne, Overstock CEO, offers matching $500,000 donation to January 6 Legal Defense. $250,00 via GIVE SEND GO and $250,000 to Stand In The Gap.

Give Send Go Matching Fund

Stand in the Gap

Stand in the Gap is a non-profit foundation dedicated to advocating for change in re-entry, family services, and justice reform. We believe in second chances, providing support to individuals transitioning back into society, and working towards a more equitable and compassionate world. Through our programs, partnerships, and advocacy efforts, we strive to make a lasting impact on the lives of those in need and promote systemic change.

Join us in standing for justice and being a voice for the voiceless.

Our Story

On January 6, 2021, a historic day unfolded in our nation's capital that will be etched in history. As the foundation of our nation was put to the test, many individuals heeded the call to stand up for their rights, their future, and their beliefs. However, the aftermath saw the government taking action against them, leading to a series of events that unveiled the deep-seated issues within the American justice system.

Before January 6th, many were unaware of just how broken the justice system in America truly was. The January 6th defendants and their advocates soon realized that this injustice had persisted for far too long.

In September of 2021, The Real J6 was founded with a mission to give a voice to the voiceless. Its primary focus was to shine a light on the treatment of January 6th defendants at the hands of their own government. However, as the organization delved deeper into this mission, it became clear that there were numerous unmet needs for the defendants and their families. This realization led to the creation of Stand in the Gap.

Shane Jenkins, the co-founder of Stand in the Gap, possesses a unique perspective on the challenges within the incarceration system and the broken nature of the justice system. His life story, marked by several run-ins with the law prior to January 6th, is one of transformation and redemption. Raised in a religious environment and attending Episcopalian school, Shane's life took a different path due to personal struggles and feelings of abandonment stemming from his adoption and an abusive stepfather. In 2016, while incarcerated and at a low point in his life, Shane had a transformative encounter with CHARM – Christ's Hope And Reconciliation Ministries. Through CHARM, he found faith and redemption, and his life took a new direction.

Paroled in July 2018, Shane transitioned to a CHARM Prison Ministries transitional house and dedicated himself to a life of faith and service. He became involved in prison ministry, took on leadership roles, and found a supportive community at church. Despite his personal transformation, in 2021, Shane once again found himself facing government action. Since then, he has been incarcerated, ministering to others within the system and working to bring about positive change.

Through the efforts of many individuals including The Real J6, significant improvements have been achieved within the DC Department of Corrections, including changes in visitation policies, COVID restrictions, guard behavior, and even Congressional intervention. Shane's unique perspective and experience are foundational to the mission of Stand in the Gap, as it strives to address the systemic issues within the justice system and provide support to those who have been affected by it.

[ladydeatharcheron]

“The HoW was rehab”

This is a common argument I see in our fandom when it comes to defending the inner circle’s actions towards Nesta in the beginning of acosf. And I am here to tell you that this argument is null and void, using the guidelines of a healthcare institution linked here.

1. The most important thing is to set a positive, supportive tone. Ensure that the individual is treated with love and respect and maintain a calm, level tone, even if they react unpredictably.

Here is the love, support, and respect the inner circle has given Nesta during her so called intervention:

“You look atrocious,” Amren said.

“Sit down,” Rhys snarled.

“Though I bet it’s hard to look good,” Amren went on, “when you’re out until the darkest hours of the night, drinking yourself stupid and fucking anything that comes your way.”

Rhys scented that fear. She knew it from the second one side of his mouth curled up in a cruel smile.”

“You,” Cassian said from the armchair to her left. “This bullshit behavior.”

The High Lord of the Night Court gestured to the sloping lawn beyond the windows. “We’ve got plenty of space out there for a brawl.”

2. Because many who live with mental illness feel trapped, it’s helpful to lay out a clearly defined plan with options for the individual to choose from.

Now here is the options that were given to Nesta:

“It’s not up for negotiation,” Amren said.

“Your apartment is being packed as we speak,” Amren said. “By the time you return, it will be empty. Your clothes are already being sent to the House, though I doubt they will be suitable for training at Windhaven.”

And this gem too:

Wow! I’m sure that the choice of being locked up with no way out (no, walking 10k steps is not an option for someone as malnourished as she), or being sentenced to die in the human lands didn’t make Nesta feel trapped AT ALL. Good job inner circle. Very touching.

3. However, someone living with a condition like depression or bipolar disorder is highly unlikely to react in the same way. A much smaller group of just one or two friends or family members will likely create an environment more conducive to success.

I fail to see the productivity in shoving Nesta in a room with a man she has repeatedly stated she wants nothing to do with, a woman she had a bad falling out with, and a High Lord that taunts her and abuses his authority to get her to do their bidding.

Here’s a Q&N because I can already hear some of you guys from miles away:

1. “Isn’t that giving Nesta a choice?”

No. An ultimatum is not a choice. Even Cassian admits that it is:

Cassian didn’t miss the look between Feyre and Rhys: the utter agony in his High Lady’s face at the ultimatum he knew was to be presented to Nesta…”

Here’s a definition of an ultimatum:

Ultimatum (noun): A coercive manipulation that utilizes the illusion of choice.

Hence, not an actual choice.

2. “Would you rather they had done nothing?”

No. Nesta needed help. A more constructive approach would’ve been an intervention with Feyre and Elain only. Her actual family. No insults, no jabs, no belittling. They could’ve laid out several options (did she want to train? perhaps dancing would’ve helped her more? maybe she would’ve preferred helping out in the library only?) and let her decide the one she saw fit. Locking her up is not an answer and I’m a strong believer that the most powerful High Lord and Lady of Prythian would’ve managed to make alcohol inaccessible to Nesta regardless of where she was.

To the people that consider it rehab after everything proves that it’s not, please note that the entire point was to get Nesta to stop drinking and sleeping around. Tell me, why is it that when she slept with Cassian, despite sex being her coping mechanism, no one batted an eyelash. That’s insinuating that the inner circle does not in fact care who Nesta sleeps with, as long as it’s under their control, no?

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[ember-owlet]

If it’s not any trouble, could I please pretty request headcanons or a lil drabble of regressor Heisenberg and Ethan with a mama caregiver (in a poly relationship setting)? They’re my liddol guys and I wish to spoil them rotten 🥺

a/n : its no trouble at all sweetheart!! heisenberg and ethan need a supportive mama in their lives desperately!! thank you for waiting,, i hope i can do your little guys justice with these headcanons ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

art credit : @/bullfrogsan 🧵

dynamic: mama! cg! reader x regressor! karl heisenberg x regressor! ethan winters

first of all, to me neither of them have had positive past experiences with their biological mothers. so the boys having a positive mother-figure in their life would be so incredibly healing, outside of regression or not.

they!!! are!! such!!! mama's boys!!!

in your dynamic if only one of the boys were to regress and be doted on by the other two they would be, for the most part, well behaved and good mannered.

however, karl and ethana when regressing together would be like two feral cats (/lh) you'd never know whether they'd be in a cuddly mood with one another or immediately fighting over who gets to play with which toy first.

there are a few times where they'd need their mama's firm intervention, mostly if it were to turn into a physical altercation.

you'd have to bring the two together to apologize, and they would begrudgingly turn to the side and huff, with a mental agreement they're "only doing it for your happiness".

in reality they do care for one another, very deeply in fact. there is no better kiddo in the world that could handle karl's rather rough playtime than ethan and no one else could make ethan feel safer than being protected by karl and his mama.

the main thing that the two of them can agree on is just how much they adore their mama, planning the best way to surprise you with handmade drawings or gifts, followed by both of them running into your arms.

as time goes on i could absolutely see the dynamic of karl being the adventerous daredevil while ethan would either disagree and inform his mama of his behavior or follow silently behind to be sure that he doesn't get himself hurt.

it would be a common misunderstanding with those who'd meet your dynamic that karl is the "punk" while ethan is the harmless angel, but you would know your little guy enough to understand just because ethan is quieter doesn't mean he doesn't have his own way of finding trouble. (think bluey and bingo from the mini bluey episode).

ethan could be rather stubborn if given the chance, as regressing would enhance his need to make his own decisions after a lifetime of others speaking for/over him.

karl on the other hand would want to encourage ethan's rebellious tendencies, telling him that sometimes its alright to push all of his feelings out.

their mama would be able to balance the dynamic as the voice of reason, handing both of them a healthy outlet and tools for their bigger feelings.

i love the idea that after finding a healthier outlet from his mama and ethan, heisenberg is able to find moments of calm, at first taking some time after a tantrum to breathe to being at the cusp of cursing someone out and instead breathing and thinking of what's the root of his feelings.

and in fact you do spoil your little guys rotten, their rooms would be filled to the brim with their choice of toys, stuffies, gear, and books to keep them entertained for hours. and, even if karl has a harder time verbalizing it, they would much rather prefer the company of their mama together.

there's no greater feeling to their lighter and vulnerable headspace than being wrapped up in your arms for a story time. to feel the humming of your chest against their ear or the gentle strokes of your fingers through their hair while they sleep would be a feeling they wouldn't trade for the world.