#Reconnecting with Emotions
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honestkindlereviews · 2 months ago
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A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery
Do you ever find yourself nodding enthusiastically when every fiber of your being screams "No"? Do you instinctively offer help, even when your own plate is overflowing, leaving you simmering with silent resentment? Perhaps you spend your days calibrating your words and actions, constantly scanning others' faces for approval, desperately trying to preempt any flicker of disappointment. It’s a familiar tightrope walk, isn't it? A performance where the spotlight is always on you, but the applause never quite feels earned, and the real "you" remains hidden behind a carefully constructed façade.
This relentless urge to please, to conform, to make yourself palatable to everyone around you, is far more than just "being nice." I've seen it devour lives, leaving individuals feeling hollowed out, exhausted, and utterly disconnected from their own desires. It’s a silent epidemic, often masquerading as altruism, but at its heart, it’s a deep-seated craving for validation, a desperate attempt to earn love and acceptance that often stems from a wound so subtle, it's rarely spoken about: Childhood Emotional Neglect.
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A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
For years, I've walked alongside countless individuals on their journey from this shadow world of people-pleasing back into the vibrant light of authentic self-esteem. My own path, too, led me through similar landscapes of self-doubt and external validation. What I've learned, both personally and professionally, is that to truly dismantle the architecture of people-pleasing, we must first understand its foundations. And more often than not, those foundations are rooted in the emotional climate of our earliest years.
Unmasking the People-Pleaser: The Silent Scream of the Soul
Let’s talk about what people-pleasing truly looks like, beyond the polite smiles and helpful gestures. It’s the friend who always agrees, even when they vehemently disagree on the inside. It’s the colleague who takes on extra work, then grumbles privately about being taken advantage of. It’s the partner who suppresses their own needs to avoid conflict, only to explode later from bottled-up frustration.
The people-pleaser lives in a state of hyper-vigilance. Their antennae are always up, scanning the emotional atmosphere around them, trying to anticipate what others need, what they expect, what might make them happy. It’s a constant self-editing process, a meticulous curation of self, designed to minimize friction and maximize acceptance. The internal dialogue is often a whirlwind of "What if they get mad?" "What if they don't like me?" "I can't disappoint them."
This relentless outward focus comes at an enormous internal cost. You become a chameleon, changing your colors to blend into every social landscape. But chameleons, despite their adaptability, are ultimately camouflaged, losing their distinct identity. You feel a creeping resentment towards others for "making" you do things, when in reality, it's your own inability to say "no" that's the culprit. There's a gnawing sense of emptiness, a whisper that asks, "Who am I, really, beneath all this effort to be what everyone else wants?" This internal whisper can, over time, swell into a roar of anxiety, depression, and a profound sense of self-alienation. The well of your own energy runs dry, leaving you utterly depleted.
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
The Hidden Wound: Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
When I work with clients trapped in the labyrinth of people-pleasing, we almost invariably trace the thread back to a common, often invisible, origin point: Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
CEN isn't about abuse in the conventional sense. It's not about being hit, yelled at, or overtly mistreated. In many cases, CEN survivors grew up in homes where basic physical needs were met, where parents were well-meaning, and where, from the outside, everything might have appeared "normal." This is precisely why CEN is so insidious; it's the absence of something crucial, not the presence of something overtly harmful.
Imagine a child with a vibrant inner world, full of feelings, thoughts, and needs. In a healthy emotional environment, when that child expresses sadness, anger, joy, or curiosity, a parent responds. They might say, "I see you're upset," or "You seem excited!" They mirror the child's emotions, validate their experience, and teach them how to navigate their internal landscape. This isn't about fixing every problem, but about acknowledging the child's emotional reality.
In a CEN environment, this vital emotional mirroring is absent or inconsistent. The child expresses a feeling, but it's met with silence, dismissal, or even subtle disapproval. "Don't be silly," "You're too sensitive," "Just get over it." The parent might be preoccupied, emotionally unavailable, overwhelmed themselves, or simply unaware of the child's emotional needs. They might be physically present but emotionally distant, like a television turned off during a vibrant program.
The child, in this silent vacuum, learns a devastating lesson: their emotions are inconvenient, irrelevant, or even a burden. Their internal experience doesn't matter. There's a hungry void where emotional validation should be.
How CEN Fuels People-Pleasing and Erodes Self-Esteem: The Architect of the False Self
This emotional void creates a profound hunger in the child – a hunger for connection, for validation, for simply being seen and understood. And this hunger often leads to the development of a powerful coping mechanism: people-pleasing.
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
The Desperate Search for External Validation: If your internal emotional world is ignored, you learn that your value isn't inherent. It must be earned. The child, and later the adult, becomes a detective, constantly trying to figure out what external cues will bring a smile, a nod of approval, or a moment of acceptance. They become hyper-tuned to others' moods, adapting their behavior to elicit positive responses, because that’s the only way they learned to feel worthy or safe.
The Suppressed Self: To avoid causing a ripple, to avoid being "too much" or "too sensitive," the child learns to suppress their own authentic feelings, needs, and desires. They disconnect from their internal compass. If expressing sadness makes a parent uncomfortable, the child learns to push sadness down. If showing anger causes conflict, anger is locked away. Over time, this becomes automatic, leaving the adult unaware of what they truly feel or want, because they've practiced ignoring themselves for so long.
Fear of Abandonment and Rejection: At the core of CEN is a subtle, unspoken emotional abandonment. The child learns that their true self, their emotional self, is not acceptable or worthy of attention. This creates a deep-seated fear that if they ever show their true colors, if they ever set a boundary or express a dissenting opinion, they will be rejected, unloved, or completely abandoned. This fear drives the constant need to people-please, to maintain a perceived harmony at all costs.
Conditional Self-Esteem: When your worth is tied to how well you can please others, your self-esteem becomes a shaky edifice built on shifting sands. It's conditional. Every act of people-pleasing is an attempt to shore up this fragile sense of self. When someone approves, you feel a temporary surge of worth. When they disapprove, even subtly, your entire sense of self can crumble. There's no solid inner core of self-worth because that core was never properly nourished.
It's like a house built without a proper foundation. It might look perfectly fine from the outside, with freshly painted walls and charming windows. But every gust of wind, every tremor in the earth (every external judgment or perceived disapproval), threatens to bring it crashing down. The constant people-pleasing is the futile attempt to prop up walls that have no solid grounding.
The Path to Recovery: A Survivor's Guide to Authentic Self-Esteem
The good news is that you don't have to live in that drafty, unstable house forever. Building authentic self-esteem and dismantling the people-pleasing habit is a profound journey of recovery, one that involves compassionately re-parenting yourself and re-connecting with the parts of you that were left neglected. It's a survivor's journey, courageous and deeply rewarding.
Here are the essential steps I guide my clients through:
Step 1: Acknowledging the Neglect – Naming the Invisible Wound
This is arguably the most crucial and often the most difficult step. CEN is invisible, and many survivors feel guilty even considering it, thinking "My parents loved me, they did their best!" And they probably did. But love alone doesn't prevent emotional neglect. Acknowledging CEN means validating your own childhood experience: something essential was missing, and it affected you. It’s not about blaming your parents; it’s about understanding your own emotional history.
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
Practice: Reflect on your childhood. Were your emotions acknowledged? Did you feel comfortable expressing difficult feelings? Was there someone you could go to who consistently validated your internal experience? If not, allow yourself to acknowledge that void. Say it out loud: "My emotional needs were not consistently met as a child." Feel the truth of that statement, even if it brings a pang of sadness. This acknowledgement is the bedrock of healing.
Step 2: Reconnecting with Buried Emotions – Finding Your Inner Compass
For CEN survivors, emotions can feel foreign, dangerous, or simply "not there." Yet, emotions are our internal guidance system, telling us what we need, what feels right, and what feels wrong. Reconnecting with them is vital.
Practice:
Emotional Vocabulary: Start by building your emotional vocabulary. Beyond "good" or "bad," how do you really feel? Use an emotion wheel or list.
Body Scan: Practice mindfulness. Sit quietly and scan your body. Where do you feel tension, lightness, warmth, cold? Are there any subtle sensations associated with an emotion? Is that knot in your stomach anxiety? Is that tightness in your chest sadness?
"Name It to Tame It": When you feel overwhelmed or unsure, try to name the emotion. "I'm feeling frustration," "I'm feeling nervous." Just naming it can create a little space and reduce its intensity.
Journaling: Write freely about your day, your interactions, your feelings. Don't censor. Just get it onto the page. This helps externalize and process emotions that have been buried.
Step 3: Finding Your Authentic Voice – Setting Boundaries
This is the direct antidote to people-pleasing. Saying "no," expressing a different opinion, or stating your needs is terrifying for a CEN survivor because it threatens that perceived acceptance. But it's essential for reclaiming your self.
Practice:
Start Small & Low Stakes: Practice saying "no" to trivial things first. "No, thank you, I'm okay with water," instead of automatically accepting coffee. "No, I can't meet on Tuesday, how about Wednesday?"
"I Need Time": If you feel pressured, use a bridging statement: "Let me think about that and get back to you," or "I need to check my schedule." This buys you time to consult your internal compass rather than automatically defaulting to "yes."
The "No" Sandwich: When you do say no, you don't have to justify, argue, or over-explain. "Thanks for the offer, but I won't be able to make it." (Polite opening, clear "no," no explanation needed).
Expect Discomfort (and Guilt): The guilt and anxiety you feel when setting a boundary is a sign of progress, not failure. It's the old programming screaming. Acknowledge it, breathe through it, and remember you are protecting yourself. The discomfort will lessen over time.
Step 4: Cultivating Self-Validation – Becoming Your Own Best Parent
This is the heart of building authentic self-esteem. If you didn't receive enough external validation as a child, you must learn to provide it for yourself as an adult.
Practice:
Self-Praise: When you do something well, or even when you just show up and try, acknowledge it. "I handled that conversation well," "I stuck to my boundary," "I'm proud of myself for trying."
Internal Mirroring: When you feel a strong emotion, especially a difficult one, pause and say to yourself what you wish someone had said to you as a child: "It's okay to feel sad right now," "I understand why you're angry," "Your feelings are valid."
Trust Your Gut: Pay attention to your intuition. When faced with a decision, listen to that quiet inner voice. Practice honoring it, even if it goes against external pressures. The more you listen, the stronger it becomes.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. When you make a mistake, instead of harsh self-criticism, offer yourself comfort and encouragement.
Step 5: Reclaiming Your Needs and Desires – What Do You Want?
When you’ve spent a lifetime focused on others' needs, your own can become utterly invisible, even to you. This step is about rediscovering what truly brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose, independent of external approval.
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
Practice:
Needs Inventory: Make a list of your fundamental needs: rest, connection, creativity, quiet time, learning, adventure, etc. How well are they being met?
Desire Discovery: What are your authentic desires? What hobbies intrigue you? What books do you want to read? What causes do you care about? What kind of relationships do you truly crave? Start exploring without judgment or pressure.
Small Acts of Self-Nurturing: Start incorporating small things into your day that are purely for your pleasure or well-being, even if it feels "selfish" initially. A quiet cup of tea, 10 minutes of a hobby, a walk in nature. This signals to yourself that your needs matter.
Step 6: Building a Support System – The Power of Authentic Connection
As you embark on this journey, you’ll need people around you who can witness and support your authentic self, not just the people-pleasing façade.
Practice:
Seek Emotionally Responsive Relationships: Gravitate towards people who genuinely listen, validate your feelings, and respect your boundaries. These relationships are nourishing.
Practice Vulnerability (Selectively): Share a small, authentic feeling or boundary with a trusted friend or family member. See how they respond. This builds capacity for genuine connection.
Consider Professional Help: A therapist specializing in CEN or trauma recovery can be an invaluable guide. They provide a safe, validating space to process old wounds and build new emotional skills. This is not a sign of weakness, but immense strength and commitment to your well-being.
Step 7: Embracing Imperfection and Vulnerability – The Beauty of Being Real
The people-pleaser often strives for perfection to avoid criticism. Building authentic self-esteem involves letting go of this impossible ideal and embracing your beautiful, messy, imperfect human self.
Practice:
Challenge Perfectionism: Deliberately allow yourself to be imperfect in small, low-stakes ways. Wear mismatched socks. Make a minor mistake at work and don't obsess over it.
Practice Being Seen: Choose safe spaces to show a less-than-perfect side of yourself. Share a small struggle, express uncertainty, or admit you don't know something. See that the world doesn't crumble.
Acknowledge Your Value: Your inherent worth doesn't depend on what you do, how well you do it, or how much you please others. It simply is. Remind yourself of this truth, especially when old insecurities creep in.
The Transformation: Living with Authentic Self-Esteem
As you diligently work through these steps, something magical begins to happen. The internal landscape shifts. The relentless pressure to perform for others begins to lift.
You start to experience:
Reduced Resentment and Exhaustion: The constant drain of people-pleasing is replaced by a surge of energy and a quiet inner peace.
Healthier, More Fulfilling Relationships: Your connections become based on mutual respect and genuine emotional exchange, not just your performance.
Clarity and Decisiveness: With your internal compass recalibrated, decisions become clearer. You know what you want and can act from a place of integrity.
A Calm Inner Core: External opinions still exist, but they no longer shake your fundamental sense of self-worth. You are grounded in your own truth.
The Joy of Self-Acceptance: There's a profound relief in no longer having to pretend. You can simply be, in all your complexity, and know that you are enough.
It’s like coming home after a long, arduous journey. The air feels different, the light seems brighter, and there's a deep, abiding sense of belonging – not to a group, but to yourself.
Sustaining the Journey: Nurturing Your Authentic Self
Recovery from CEN and people-pleasing is not a destination, but an ongoing process of self-discovery and self-nurturing. There will be days when old patterns resurface, moments when the fear of rejection whispers in your ear. That's perfectly normal. The key is to respond with compassion, not criticism.
Remember the tools you’ve built: reconnecting with emotions, setting boundaries, self-validation. Use them. If you people-please, notice it without judgment, and ask, "What was I needing in that moment?" Then, consciously choose a different response next time. Every moment is an opportunity to practice.
The journey from the hidden wound of emotional neglect to the full bloom of authentic self-esteem is one of the most profound acts of self-love imaginable. It requires courage, patience, and a deep commitment to yourself. But the rewards – a life lived with integrity, genuine connection, and an unshakable sense of inner peace – are immeasurable.
Your authentic self is waiting to be seen, not just by others, but by you. Begin that tender, brave journey today.
A Survivor’s Guide to Overcoming People-Pleasing and Building Authentic Self-Esteem – Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect Recovery : BUY EBOOK CLICK HARE
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thehunteramman · 8 months ago
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Korean Drama Therapy Immerse yourself in the world of K-dramas for emotional healing
Experience Joy; 4 min reading
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ravenpureforever · 1 year ago
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On one hand, Young Justice is kind of neglected by the actual superheroes that should be looking out for them in a lot of crucial ways and very much failed by the adults around them
But on the other hand Red Tornado straight up hosts a parent-teacher conference where their respective legal guardians all show up, barring Batman who’s in traffic so Nightwing fills in instead because Robin’s dad does not know he’s a vigilante which is objectively hilarious
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aventurineswife · 3 months ago
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Hello!! I saw that your requests were open and wanted to give it a shot! I love your works and I’ve been binging them lately. Please feel free to discard this for any reason.
Would it be okay to write about a male or gn reader who is in a very science related field (STEM, scientist, medical, engineering etc.) and loves their work immensely, but is revealed YEARS later on to actually have given up on an artistic dream? Like a reader who loved drawing/music/painting/etc. and was beyond headstrong about it for the longest time as a kid, all the way until they were in their senior year of high school and were hit with the reality of how difficult it’d be to gain the financial stability they needed in an arts career, versus the stem career…
And here they are, fast forward to the present.
I think characters like Kaveh and Aventurine have the best backstory to pair with this, but I’m more than alright with anything you’d like to try! If nothing else, thank you so much for putting your amazing writing here on tumblr for free!!! It’s creators like you that we all turn to at the end of the day to save us emotionally :D
Second Chances and Forgotten Dreams
Tags: Kaveh x Reader, Aventurine x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Self-Discovery, Creative Struggles, Supportive Characters, Reconnecting with Passions, Emotional Growth, Healing, Gentle Encouragement, Character Development.
Warnings: Mentions of Regret (Over giving up an artistic dream), Minor Angst, Emotional Vulnerability, Implied Pressure from Career Choices, Healing Process, Possible Mild Self-Doubt.
A/N: Hey, thank you so much for your kind words! That honestly means a lot to me. I'm really glad that my work has been able to connect with you and make a difference—it's always the goal! It’s anons like you who keep me motivated too. Thanks again for the love! 🤭💖🫶
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Kaveh had always admired your sharp mind. The way your eyes lit up when discussing equations, medical advancements, or structural integrity fascinated him. Yet, despite the success in your field, he always sensed something was missing.
He discovered the truth by accident.
A forgotten sketchbook, tucked away on the highest shelf in your office, filled with beautiful, intricate drawings. Architectural designs, character studies, and unfinished landscapes—each page held the echoes of a dream abandoned.
Kaveh ran his fingers over the pages, tracing the lines with a reverence usually reserved for the most breathtaking buildings. When you walked in and saw him holding the sketchbook, your breath hitched.
"These… these are yours, aren’t they?" Kaveh's voice was uncharacteristically soft.
You swallowed hard, already knowing where this conversation was headed.
"I loved art once," you admitted, exhaling as if saying the words out loud made the weight of your decision all those years ago more tangible. "I wanted to make a career out of it, but… I knew it wouldn't pay the bills. STEM was the safer choice."
Kaveh’s eyes, always filled with emotion, darkened with something between sadness and frustration.
"But safety doesn’t mean happiness," he said, flipping through the pages. "These drawings—they’re incredible. You could've—" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath. "You should still be creating."
You let out a bitter chuckle. "I don’t even know where to start again. I wouldn’t even know what to make."
Kaveh reached for his own notebook, the one filled with designs for structures he hadn't yet built, dreams he hadn't yet realized.
"Then let’s start together," he said.
That night, for the first time in years, you picked up a pencil—not to draft blueprints or calculate measurements, but to simply create. And beside you, Kaveh sketched alongside you, proving that art, once lost, could always be found again.
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Aventurine had always seen life as a game of calculated risks, and you? You were one of the safest bets he’d ever made. Intelligent, hardworking, disciplined—exactly the kind of person who thrived in your field.
But when he saw you idly tracing shapes on a napkin one night, your fingers moving with absentminded precision, something about it made him pause.
"Didn’t know you were the doodling type," he mused, swirling his drink in his hand.
You stiffened before pulling the napkin away, stuffing it into your pocket as if it were something shameful.
That reaction? That was new.
So, being Aventurine, he started digging.
It wasn’t until weeks later that he found the old digital portfolio buried in your archives. Paintings, sketches, compositions—you had once been an artist. A real one.
When he confronted you, you laughed, but it lacked humor. "It was a childish dream," you said, waving it off. "STEM pays the bills. I made the right choice."
Aventurine leaned back in his chair, studying you the way he studied opponents at a high-stakes table. "Funny, I’ve seen people convince themselves of a lot of things, but that? That was the worst bluff I’ve ever heard."
You opened your mouth to argue, but he cut you off.
"You don’t regret choosing STEM," he said, "but you do regret giving up art entirely."
He leaned in, resting his chin on his knuckles, his sharp eyes unreadable. "Tell you what, sweetheart. I’ll make you a deal."
You raised an eyebrow. "A deal?"
Aventurine smirked. "Start creating again—just once a week. No pressure, no deadlines. If you don’t love it anymore, I’ll never bring it up again." He extended a hand. "But if you do? Well, then you owe me a private exhibition of your best work."
You hesitated before finally shaking his hand.
"Hope you’re ready for me to prove you wrong," you muttered.
Aventurine chuckled. "Oh, darling," he said, a knowing gleam in his eye. "I’m counting on it."
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Ratio never dealt in half-truths. Logic dictated all things, and as far as he was concerned, you were a master of your field because you wanted to be. That was the only reasonable explanation.
So when he found the old violin case gathering dust in your storage room, he was… perplexed.
"You play?" he asked, examining the instrument with clinical curiosity.
"Not anymore," you replied without looking up from your work.
He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
You hesitated, fingers tightening around your pen. "Because," you said finally, "passion doesn't pay the bills."
For the first time in a long time, Ratio was at a loss for words. You were one of the most driven, intelligent people he knew. He couldn’t fathom you abandoning something you once loved so much.
"You still think about it," he noted, voice quieter than usual. "Don't you?"
You sighed, rubbing your temples. "Sometimes."
Ratio wasn’t sentimental. He wasn’t the type to push people toward emotional revelations. But facts were facts.
"You are not simply a scientist, nor are you simply an artist," he stated. "Denying one part of yourself does not make the other stronger."
You frowned. "And what do you suggest? That I drop my career and start composing again?"
Ratio shook his head. "No. But I suggest you stop pretending that your love for art was irrelevant."
He pushed the violin case toward you.
"Indulge in both," he said. "Because denying something you love for the sake of practicality is, in itself, the most illogical decision one could make."
You stared at him for a long moment before reaching out, fingers ghosting over the violin’s worn surface.
For the first time in years, you opened the case.
And for the first time in years, you played.
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aprilblossomgirl · 6 months ago
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I can only set the goals, but the one who can work through the steps is you. You said MARS doesn’t need you. That’s totally not true. MARS needs you the most. You also said you couldn’t do all those things. That’s not true, either. You can sing, rap and also dance. Most importantly, you excel at them.
ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat | Ep.06
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Wylan: *Staring off into space*
Jesper: …Wy? You alright there?
Wylan: I am being visited by an emotion
Jesper:
Wylan: I dont know what it means
Jesper:
Wylan: But I would appreciate it departing at its earliest opportunity
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aresmarked · 3 months ago
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Thinking about how much mizuki parents are gonna embarrass mizuki w being Seen
Get all the classic stuff of them perking and gushing when they finally meet ena about 'oh we've heard so much about you!' and telling embarrassing stories and mizuki's just 'oh god end me' and enas being Polite™ but also doing the trademark shinonome smirk cause she's sooo gonna tease mizuki about this later
(she is also warmed by it ofc)
And them smiling fondly when some of the typical mzen banter happens before them and they can See. how much mizuki adores ena and feels truly comfy w her
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seaglassdinosaur · 7 months ago
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God, Victor being scared to see his dad, not just because it’s a massive, rattling change, but because he knows his dad is going to be looking for the little boy who went missing, and will be disappointed with the man he finds. That Victor doesn’t want to be the reason his dad is in more pain, and he doesn’t want to be less than the boy he was.
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anxiousapplepie · 7 months ago
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How do the timeloops affect Trav!Isa and R!Sif's relationship?
During the timeloops? the relationship swings wildly between "oh yeah this is nice! I like spending time with you!" to "oh Change I'm still a horrible and manipulative person" and Isa has massive mixed feelings about it After the timeloops tho, it's messy. T!Isa doesn't want his past to haunt him, but recognizes something as traumatic as being stuck in the same 2 days for over a year will understandably influence his emotions and actions. He takes that into account tho, and R!Sif is very mellow and patient and helps out when Isa lets them
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impossible-rat-babies · 7 months ago
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"of all the corpses i have carried, yours is my favorite by far."
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writingjourney · 3 months ago
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tobias: i did not want to make an impera 2.0
pretty much all album reviews i’ve read now: great album, we love it, but why did he not make impera 2.0 :((
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moash · 7 months ago
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just read the moash interlude. don’t know how to feel about it. anyone else feel like sanderson just like decided he didn’t like the direction he had been going with moash and tried to backtrack?
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lightishlilac · 1 month ago
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Truly will never stop thinking about Blue being the leader you have to defeat to be able to climb Mt. Silver and find Red. Something something he has the ability to reach him but can't something something metaphor for repressed feelings
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just-a-mild-juke · 5 months ago
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If anyone wonders where @always-the-2nd is suddenly gone
Someone reported my latest tumblr post for promoting self-harm/disordered eating (it didn't, I'm always very conscious of not doing that and am SUPER against any pro-ana content and the like), and I got an email informing me of that and giving a warning that if I "continued to post" such content, my account would be terminated. Only I didn't continue ANYTHING, and when I tried to access my account I found out is was ALREADY terminated.
Someone actually personally filed a report too, it was not just some automatic detection nonsense fucking up. So thanks, whoever that was.
I obviously filed a complaint, but I have no idea if/when I'll get the account back. My sideblogs are obviously gone too, everything is just gone. All the history, all the dms, all the asks, all the drafts I had saved...
So I just quickly made this blog and this post and will follow my ex-mutuals so there's an explanation available for why I'm suddenly gone. If I don't get my account back... I might start again from here, but it will probably take me a while to get back. I'm pretty crushed. This came at a time that was terrible already and I'm just crying a lot.
But for anyone who wants to keep in touch, that's possible through here rn.
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holyshit · 6 months ago
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#'sorry for barging' anon#sorry gonna answer this in the tags since it's such a loaded topic#but yeah exactly- i think a lot of it comes down to people wanting them to perform their (very real) grief for an audience#and getting mad when they don't. which is wildly unfair and unrealistic and just... extremely entitled#and very much coming from a lack of understanding of grief and that it's not a perpetual state of uncontrollable crying#a massive part of grief is continuing living with all its up and down moments with a new heavy weight in the background#living in a perpetual state of sobs is not something any human can sustain. it involves adapting and continuing to live.#and that involves doing regular everyday things AND experiencing happy moments still. that does not mean you aren't still suffering.#to question whether they're 'truly' grieving is.... kinda evil and completely ridiculous lmao#and shows a massive lack of basic empathy and understanding of how human emotions work#we see less than 1 percent of their lives. to actually feel like you have the ability to judge someone's grieving process in general#is wild and weird but especially when you literally have seen nearly none of their lives in the past few months#i'm sure all of us have laughed and seen a friend and had other happy moments since october#that doesn't mean we do not miss liam and that we aren't devastatingly sad at other points.#and to somehow think that zouis reconnecting and being happy about it after such a tragic event would be somehow anti-liam is insane#i've even seen people judge zayn for not cancelling his entire tour which is so.....#if they for a second think that liam would have been petty enough to enjoy the idea of all of his friends stopping in their tracks forever#they clearly didn't really know him since he was clearly always SO supportive of everyone in 1d#and probably would have been very happy to see zayn and louis mend their relationship#it feels like a very weird way to make a fucking death and real life grief from his friends into a stan war which is......... beyond gross
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urloveangel · 4 months ago
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not to sound dramatic but I’ve become obsessed with feeling things, any feeling that comes up I just allow myself to feel it to its core and let it flow through me, no judgement or analyzing
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