#SO FCKG CUTE

[laptitesacrament]

IM SCREAMING THIS IS SO CUTE AAAAAAAAH

Some One Piece X SANRIO stickers I made for anime expo and ANYC!! (big challenges is a freebie that comes with crocodile!)

[lebensmoode]

Where else to find a man who would hum Bruno Major’s “Nothing”?

I’ll tell you a secret. Actually, when we were having argument that late at night, two days ago, one of the emotions I felt was happy. Yes, it felt great to finally have a lil fight, arguments, and different opinions from each other. Not saying that I hate us being so peaceful and less conflict, but I guess I need this kind of “wave” for our ship. We’ve been in a quiet ocean for quite long.

Instad of feeling bored, I need to be reminded of why we’re still holding hands. Why we’re on the same boat. Why we’re here. And your answers and point of view made it all clear. Those statements you said, however, made me realize that …

WHAT THE HECK IS COMMITMENT!1!1!1

WHY IS IT SO FCKG SERIOUS??!1!1!

Lots of time, the talks of my rendezvous with a bestie always conclude the same point. Being “yaudah” for almost all aspect of life, relationship includes. Means, if this one lasts, yaudah. If later we meet someone new and can marry us quick fulfill what we need, yaudah. Surrender is our jalanninja. Then after we argued that night, I was slapped that it was not always good. Especially for a relationship.

You mean, you’re not fighting for this relationship until we make it?

You mean, you can easily step out from something you have build just because you have found ease?

You mean, you’re just with me for happiness and leave me when you’re tired?

You mean, you’re not committing to this ship from the very first?

Taking the easy way out. Lack of feeling to fight. Easily giving up. Off my awareness, has turned me into such a person. I wasn’t that kind of individual before. But mind really can empower and take control of who you can be.

Congrats, you made me realize that … I was a trash. But at least I’m cute 😃

Picik banget ya, kalo gw beneran ninggalin seseorang hanya karena gw punya jalan keluar yg mudah. Kesannya beneran gw orang yg gabisa berkomitmen. Gw gak menghargai hubungan yang udah dibangun dari nol. Gw gak mengindahkan besar kecilnya perjuangan untuk satu sama lain selama ini. Padahal dinding yg sedang dihadapi sekarang itu masih possible to climb, hanya memang gak mudah. Dinding penghalangnya padahal bukan di seseorang yg lagi membersamai, which is the thing I should grateful for.

Makanya gw suka banget menganalogikan hubungan itu just like sailing on the same boat in the vast ocean. You will face many waves and storms, and when it happens, you must be discussing with your partner the strategy to survive together, preparing extra tools for anticipating it. Will you really think to leave the boat and to swim on your own, just because you solely see another boat coming closer? After years sailing together, will you?

Sounds like a perfect noble human being on earth, so impossible to find one 😆

Impossible, doesn’t mean there isn’t any. Impossible, doesn’t mean you can’t be so. I believe each of us has our own value to keep. For me, the realization to not take your partner for granted and to appreciate what you've built together are ones I would love to look after. I believe this kind of relationship is worth growing.

So, for the man who was humming “Nothing” when being with me, thank you. For the sailing and the staying. Let’s survive this one wave called “financially secure” hehe 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿🩵

[rosaiika-archive]

“Farming sounds like such a drag. What do you even do all day?”

[shouto-chan]

This took so fucking long

[rey2relax-blog]

So today wanna talk/ start with the beginning of trouble 2 years ago.

So my mom decided at this time to move and at the same time I switched to a new school for doing high school and stuff. The house we moved to had to be renovated so it was a very difficult time and I also developed an eating disorder but only a little bit. Nop im not that pretty skinny girl who’s underestimated herself.

But the high school has this one boy and no it’s not that cute kind of love story. I met him first in basketball AG and hell of fckg shit he catched my eyes with his dark hairs and the big hands that hit every ball in the basket. Aaaand he had humor my god he made me laugh even in the first lesson.

But you won’t belive it (yes u would) he was very popular not like that cliche bad boy. He seems loyal and honest with a cute kind and a little bit of bad habbits but always cool and funny. And he broke up with his girlfriend three weeks ago cause she was a way too jealous. So I decided to write him (getting his number from some random group) and...

So finally the perfect boy but guys we all know that someone doesn’t exists.

***

So guys

I’m from Germany and maybe u find out my English isn’t the best but I want to write the whole story in English down sooo if I have some grammatical errors pls tell me. I decide to use this as diary entry to find out what I actually want. So I will tell the complet story here and maybe you have a advice or something like that. If not just enjoy the whole crazy story.

[urlocalmochi]

there’s this rlly cute girl on the rink rn and she’s dancing in circles while skating and doing all sorts of tricks n i’ve jus been sitting here staring at her for 5 whole minutes bc she looks so fckg beautiful

[lebensmoode]

Pengen cerita.

Selama tinggal di Tebing, gue jadi tau tontonan apa aja yang adek gue suka puterin di yutub. Salah satunya yang bikin gue jadi sering nimbrung nonton juga (karena dia nontonnya di TV ruang tengah) adalah channelnya mbak Sunny a.k.a SunnydahyeIn.

Buat kalian yg suka mantengin beauty vlogger plus korean stuff pasti tau siapa beliau. I once watched her content but it was looong ago, jadi cuma ngeliat satu ato dua video beliau doang trus tau kalo waktu itu mbaknya lagi hits juga trus oh yaudah gitu. Ternyataaa adek gue ngikutin hampir semua video mbaknya, trus gue pun sekarang jadi tertular.

Sampai lah kemaren gue muterin video di atas, dan perasaan gue tuh... apa ya... I felt like i got energized out of nowhere. I don’t know that watching her channel will give me kind of positive vibes, jadi semacam bahan bakar untuk menjalani hidup yang lebih bodoamat optimis dan bermakna gitu. Gak tau ya kalo viewers lain ngeliatnya gimana but that’s my pov. Ada beberapa hal yang gue amat senangi dari video-video mbak Sunny dan yang gue bisa ambil pelajaran juga dari situ.

Pertama, she is such a great giver. Keknya hampir gak ada di video beliau tuh yang dia gak beliin sesuatu untuk temennya ato orang-orang di sekitarnya. Tiap jumpa sama kengkawan pasti mba Sunny bawain macem macem entah itu makanan, skinker, ato barang favorit si orang tersebut. Or else, dia yang kadang traktir makan. Pokoknya everyday seems like her thanksgiving day. Dan melihat reaksi orang-orang yang dapat pemberian dari beliau bikin gue jadi ikutan seneeeng. Beberapa bahkan balas ngasih sesuatu juga buat mbaknya. Haaaa it hits me hard about sharing to others so i learn a lot from this.

Kedua, intro dulu, mbak Sunny nih sering menghadirkan temen-temennya di konten videonya. Yang suka muncul tuh mbak Jini who is a model dan Nara who came from North Korea. Dan mereka bertiga dijuluki “Spicy Girls” sama pacarnya mba Sunny. Nah especially in the video above, the girls were having photoshoots in a house yang estetik nan lucu banget parah you must go see it gaes. Watching them traveling together, stopping by the cafe for a morning coffee, setting cameras and stuffs they needed, walking down the street together, wearing cute dresses, customes, and makeups, having big dinner at the end of the day — it all makes me realize one thing: that the world is so damn wide and iridescent and i got to do what i love to do just like the girls do with their own. Hepi banget liat mereka sibuk sama hal hal yang mereka sukai, sibuk sama orang-orang yang juga peduli satu sama lain, sibuk bergerak, berproses, dan menghasilkan sesuatu.

Ada keselip pandangan jelek dari gue awalnya tentang fisik, pas tengok temen-temennya mba Sunny yang kuyus kuyus dan berdada kecil, gue jadi merasa "yeeay i got many korean friends". Buluk banget kan pikiran aing? Then it turns out to be... Wa, they had fun and did their stuff without worrying anything about their body. So why did you worry? Stop thinking that nobody would accept your being skinny. Do your fckg things and live your fckg life like nobody cares. And voila! 2 minggu belakangan di mana gue memang sedang enjoy-enjoy nya menikmati hidup tuh langsung merasa kaya didukung sama semesta untuk keep going and keep doing that. Geez. Panjang.

Ketiga, it is about the partnership yang ditunjukkan mba Sunny dan mas pacar, Chris. I notice that their relationship, in my opinion, is so healthy. Kenapa gue bilang sehat? Dari segi bahasa, karena mereka datang dari negara yang berbeda (mbak Sunny bisa bahasa korea, indonesia, dan inggris dan mas Chris  berbahasa jepang dan inggris), the fact that they learn each other languages is so positive and super fun. Dari segi karir, oh man... this guy is very supportive to what his woman is doing. Dari yang masnya jadi ikutan bikin konten, sampe buat channel yutub juga, trus jadi temenan sama temen-temen mbak Sunny juga, kebawa-bawa jadi kameramen dan pemberi kuis. Dan pas mereka lagi off, they give each other time to get back with their own business. They appreciate and support each other in the best way they can, instead of terlihat kayak mencampuri kerjaan satu sama lain, they show me more about how having a partner can become so helpful and fun cause you are not working it all alone. They don't mingle with each other's affairs but they cooperate.

Keren gak sih? Another reason is that, based on what my eyes capture, they seem to enjoy being themselves and keep it while they are together. Mungkin ada pasangan yg berpikirnya oh gue pacaran sama lu dengan harapan lu bisa perbaiki sisi gue yg minderan, atau oh gue mau sama lu karna keknya lu bisa memaklumi dan tahan sama kegilaan, kecemasan dan overthinking gue. Nah, i don't see that on them. Sendiri sendiri aja udah bersinar dengan masing-masing company. Dan pas mereka jadi partner, they shine even brighter.

Setidaknya itu yang gue liat dari videonya. Kalo misal di balik layar ceritanya beda ya monmaap it’s out of my sight jadi gak bisa menyimpulkan apapun.

---

Gue pikir dengan melihat konten yg isinya tentang kosmetik, skinker, ciwi ciwi cantik, produk yang mahal, kehidupan orang kaya yang hedon tuh bakal bikin gue insekyur, julid, iri, dengki. Makanya selama ini aing nontonnya cuma yg berhubungan dengan kesukaan dan hiburan untuk meredam overthinking, kayak konten tentang Running Man, Day6, kelucuan membernya, lagu-lagu covernya, pokoknya yang bersifat menemani dan mengalihkan fokus, bukan yang memicu perang pikiran wkwk.

Tapi hamdalah sekarang pikiran dan hatinya udah lebih terbuka, legowo dan nrimo (aamiin). Ketika gue mutusin untuk ngelakuin hal-hal yang bikin gue merasa hidup, bikin mood naik, bikin yang lain sedikit terbantu, berdoa dan serahin sisanya sama Yang Maha Kuasa, trus bersikap bodoamat dengan kehidupan orang lain di sosmed, jujur gue merasa lebih ringan. Kek baru aja ngebungkus semua sampah sampah bushuk di dalam diri gue trus gue buang jauh jauh. So when i see and find out something new, alih-alih merasa minder dan gak berguna dan hidupnya paling nelangsa dari semua orang, gue mengolah itu lewat sudut pandang lain and it turns out to be something that i can use to grow. Kitiw.

P.S. Tulisanku akhir-akhir ini sering banget campur sari antara bahasa indonesia dan bahasa inggris. Dan yang mensponsorinya adalah channel mba Sunnyyy. Soalnya dia kebanyakan ngomong bahasa inggris di konten yutubnya bersama mas pacar. It’s another good thing, right? Ehe