#Source: Modern Family

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Peeves: *knocks over a suit of armor* There will be no mourning knight this afternoon!

[incorrectteyvatism]

Xianyun: Shenhe, what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?

Shenhe: That I need to do it more often.

Xianyun: Exactly! You need to learn how to have some fun!

[incorrectquoteshungergames]

[Peeta as a dad]

Peeta: I’m the cool parent. That’s my thing.

Peeta: I’m hip. I surf the web. I text.

Peeta: LOL. Laugh out loud. OMG, oh my god. WTF, why the face.

Peeta: I know all the dances to High School Musical, so…

[batfamgalore]

*Dick crashes out while on patrol and beats someone within an inch of their life*

Bruce: Dick might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let’s try to be sensitive.

Jason: Oh, believe me- I am going to be nothing but nice to Dick from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he’s coming for first?

Bruce: He’s not going on a rampage.

Tim: I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.

Damian: I’m just gonna say it. I never trusted him.

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Bruce: I raised five perfectly functional children

Y/N: *tearing up* You have five other children we don’t know about?!

[waltermis]

Are You Kidding Me?

*Vision and Y/N heading out for a mission*

Wanda: Vision

Vision: Yes, Ma'am?

Wanda: Be back in time for dinner.

Vision: Uh, yes, Ma'am

*They leave*

Wanda: I'm so sorry you had to see that

Natasha: See what?

Wanda: The way we just snapped at each other.

Natasha: Are you kidding?

Wanda: *sigh* Obviously Vision and I are going through one hell of a rough patch

Natasha: If I talked to Y/N that nicely, she would think I'm cheating on her

[waywardangel-wilds]

Peeta: Oh and if you speak disrespectfully about my wife again, I will kill you.

Everyone laughs.

Peeta: My bad, it sounded like I was joking. I will actually kill you.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Sirius: We both look very handsome tonight. Remus: You know, if you’d just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, “So do you.” Sirius: I couldn’t take that chance

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Yelena: Close your eyes.

Bob: Why?

Yelena: Just do it.

Bob: [closes his eyes]

Yelena: [kicks Bob to the ground]

Bob, on the ground: Ow! What the hell was that for?!

Yelena: Never close your eyes during combat!

Bob: But you told me to-

Yelena: Don’t let me get in your head!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Rio: I did not pick him up early from school.

Agatha: Nicky, did mommy pick you up early from school?

Nicky: No.

Rio: See? Case closed.

Nicky: I didn’t go.

Agatha: Case open.

Nicky: We went shopping.

Rio: Ha ha, shush now, Nic—

Nicky: Mommy bought us matching hats. Look, look!

Rio: Go to your room.

Agatha: BOTH of you go to your rooms.

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Rook: Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Davrin: You're a hazard to society. Taash: And a coward. Do 20.

[fangirling-tussisque-noncaelatur]

Hangman: I'm gonna take a shower.

Hangman: *winks* Do you care to join me?

Rooster: ...

Rooster: You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say "no" to that question, I want you to use it on me.

[incorrecttwsted]

[batfamgalore]

*Damian has a girl over without telling anyone and he closed his bedroom door*

Tim: They’ve been in there forever, do something, you’re in charge.

Jason: Oh, please, we both know I’m just the figurehead here. You really think they’re doing something in there? He’s 12?

Tim: He’s 14, but it’s touching how close you are.

[liv45no]

Regulus: a couple years ago, my brother took a totally humiliating picture of me. Then he posted it to Facebook and refused to take it down.

Regulus: it got 873 likes.

Regulus: meanwhile, there’s not one embarrassing picture of Sirius.

Regulus: even his mugshots were cute!