#Subject: PBS Thoughts

[lousirs]

am I a madman or are you on board with the "Mr peabody is an alien" theory... 😁

oh! i haven't heard of such a theory before, but i mean... totally possible i guess xD especially in tmpass i think. i don't trust that dog

i mean, if you wanna explain your theory to me, i'd be happy to hear. is it cause peabody can walk and talk like a human, and has intelligence beyond one? homeboy could be a skinwalker for all we know xD SKINWALKER PEABODY THEORY WHEN--

but if there's any theory i have... uhh lemme explain

so in the film the two shermans collide, and the two peabodys are dragged along with the two, causing the wormhole, yeah? but in the end, there was only one peabody and one sherman. and by the way peabody acts afterwards, it seems to be the present peabody who wasn't affected, collapsing the past version.

...and somehow peabody knows not to go to a time in which you already existed, as it would cause some crack in the time-space continuum or whatever

so here's my theory: peabody (and possibly sherman, but i don't think so) stay the same age through merging with past versions of themselves. technically immortality? but also not.

cause i'm wondering how the hell peabody knew that going to a time that you already existed would be a bad thing. sure, he could do calculations and be logical about it, but the only way to properly know is through experience. BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY--

(and on a slight tangent, the warping that happens when two versions of the same person touch also occurs in tmpass (as the two shermans almost collided) but for some reason that apocalypse peabody and usual peabody high-fived and nothing occured from it?? is it cause apocalypse peabody is from a alternative dimension?? it's still peabody at the end of the day... what's going on...)

[thefluxsystem]

10 mindsets about my DID that have helped my system:

[This is solely for the sake of sharing experiences & supplying food for thought. This post is not implying these takes are the “right way” to view systemhood.]

1. We’re individuals and we’re parts of a whole. We see each other as people in our system, but in a different way than those in their own bodies. We share a brain. We share a life. I’m me, but I’m also him/her/them at the same time. If you take a piece out of a puzzle, it doesn’t cease to exist, right? It’s still its own object. It just doesn’t make much sense when it stands alone. We need each other to be truly complete.

2. Time keeps coming. I know it’s not an unlimited resource, but it’s not scarce either. Okay, so somebody in the system didn’t get to do what they planned today. They’ll do it tomorrow. No big deal. No need to fight about it or stress over “how I’ll ever manage all this”. We’ll simply give it another shot in the morning.

3. Reality is subjective. We’re a very philosophically-inclined system, and I could write books on what “reality is subjective” means. Basically, reality is based on perception. On a societal level, it is based in the common agreement of what something is. If anyone’s perception tests the limits of this common agreement, it is labeled as untrue. This ties into why DID is largely disbelieved; it doesn’t fit in with the common reality (perception) of the average person. So it is seen as fake. And, well, if I’m going to be told I’m wrong for the most basic, inherent part of this disorder… I don’t really care if they disagree with any other aspect of it. My reality is different. That’s okay.

4. There is no original. I strongly believe the Theory of Structural Dissociation. Maybe science will prove it wrong with a more suitable theory to take its place in the future, but it’s what I roll with at the moment. Now, to us, this translates as “there is no original/we were all the original”. We’re Adventure Time fans, so we think of it like the “Mother Gum”. If all of the Mother Gum broke off into people (like PB & Neddy), no specific one of them would be “the original”. Rather, they’d all be repurposed parts of the original whole. (In a less serious way, we like to say “we all came from the primordial personality soup”.)

5. Our body is shared equally. We’ve decided our body has its own identity & “look” that helps represent us as a whole, but doesn’t take after one member specifically. In a gnawingly self-aware way, I know this is a further form of dissociation. But adopting this view changed a lot for us in a positive way. We don’t fight about hair or clothes anymore, we don’t have discomfort around our legal name, we don’t even really have struggles with gender/sexuality anymore. (We identify differently internally, but externally we identify as nonbinary & bisexual. Even if the person fronting at the moment is, for example, a gay man.)

6. Be open-minded to what happens internally. Seems straightforward enough, but we’ve wasted a lot of time trying to “make rules” for each other in the system. The biggest example I can think of is in-system dating. Around 10 years ago, as we became more aware of each other, it became clear that two system members were basically in love. We immediately became defensive. We told them that they couldn’t do that, that two system members being together was absurd & “impossible”. (This view became stronger after discovering online system spaces & “fakeclaimers” that come with it.) Though we regret it now, we shamed those two a lot in the hopes they’d drop it. They didn’t. About 3 years later it became an actual problem. They didn’t trust us; they were fronting & we were coming back to absolutely no memory of it (we usually have a vague idea at least). Eventually, they wrote us a whole thing about how they were going to be together & there was really nothing anyone could do about it, seeing as we couldn’t technically keep them apart. In modern day, we’ve had an in-system couple recently fuse. Upon reflection, we were standing in the way of genuine healing by trying to break up the first two, and we did so solely out of shame. As long as it isn’t genuinely causing harm, we try to be accepting of each other these days. This applies to a lot of other aspects; how system members appear internally, the pronouns and/or identity labels they choose, anything to do with how system members engage with each other, our differing individual perceptions of an event, etc.

7. We don’t have to like each other, but we do have to love each other. Mostly because, if we don’t, we’re holding hatred for ourself. There are certainly members of my system I would never choose to befriend if we were actually separate people, but we’re not, and we don’t get to act like we are. So even though it’s hard, I’m learning to love every piece that makes up “me”, no matter how difficult they try to make it at times.

8. Nobody’s system works like mine except for mine. Meaning, no two systems are going to be alike, and experiences aren’t often going to translate perfectly. This is true for people who aren’t systems as well— everyone’s experience is going to be different, because nobody is wired exactly the same way. Once I took that to heart, it became easier to focus on my own way of being. I could take the pieces of represented/online systemhood that resonate with me & leave the rest (which probably resonates with someone else).

9. There’s a reason for everything. This kind of ties back into the ‘we have to love each other’ thing. Each component of the system is a clue regarding how to move forward. We had someone in the system getting really uptight & controlling, to a point that it was irritating, but, taking a step back, we recognized it was a response to feeling a lack of control. Instead of simply getting angry at him for how he was acting, we were able to address the problem. My collective self is more laid-back for it.

10. It’s okay not to focus on it all. DID is a part of my life for the rest of it, whether I like it or not, but it’s nice to let it be a background thing every once in a while. Who’s fronting? Who cares. What roles do we have? I don’t know. Who’s this new person in my head? I’ll figure it out later. We’re making it through as a team, and sometimes that’s enough.

[anikaluv]

JUST FOR PRACTICE —

❤︎︎ pairing: Miles (e!42) × fem!reader

❤︎︎ genre: fluff (slight angst?)

❤︎︎ cw: cussing, nail biting, Miles (e!42) is named Myles (creative Ik), Miles (e!42) teases reader a lil bit <3

❤︎︎ summary: Spider-Man!Miles and Prowler!Miles as Twins where you have a crush on Miles (e!1610) and Miles (e!42) suggests you make out with him for practice.

❤︎︎ w/c: 1.6k

❤︎︎ a/n: I was reading miles morales x reader fics then I thought of this and went “It would be so cool if someone wrote it”. Then I did, cause I’m a bitch who gets shit done. 😘

PART TWO EXTRA

You and Miles have been inseparable since y’all were born. You two seemed to be tied together like a knot. You could always fondly go back and look through memories of him holding your hand while leading you through forests, him sharing his PB&J’s with you during lunch time, and him protecting you numerous times from bullies as the years went by. He was always there for you.

So much that you’ve fallen head over heels for him.

Yet you were too scared to ruin the deep friendship you two have. Too terrified of the chance that everything you two had going to waste because of your feelings, so you kept to yourself.

Which leads you to the present day, you sit on Miles’ bed as he takes a shower before you start the study session you both had planned.

Nervously, you fidget with your fingers, eagerly awaiting his return. The truth is, you don't need these study sessions. As an all-A student, you grasp the subjects effortlessly. However, you seize any opportunity to spend time with Miles.

Your mind wonders as curious eyes scan his room and land on his sketchbook. Your instinctively get up and reach for it, not caring for the overstep of privacy because c’mon, you knew this guy before you knew how to walk.

Excitement courses through you as you eagerly flip through the pages, revealing beautiful sketches of family, sunflowers, among other things. However, as you reach the more recent pages, your heart starts to sink.

Gwanda, Miles' so-called friend who conveniently always seems to be "out of town," yet he never ceases to endlessly complement her and fills his sketchbook to the brim with pages of her. What's so extraordinary about her? You've known Miles since you both were starting to crawl, while she has only been in his life for a few months, and suddenly she's this incredible person?

With a heavy sigh, you set your sketchbook down, feeling your vision blur as you make your way back to sit on Miles' bed. Tears well up quickly as you bury your face in your hands, sobbing silently. Unfortunately, the sound of approaching footsteps awakens your senses. You hastily wipe your eyes with your sleeve, although it's already too late.

"Oh great, looks like la llorona (crybaby) is sobbing once more. What's the matter, ma?" Miles strolls in, his voice oozing with condescension. He leans against the doorway, owning a smug expression. You can't help but roll your eyes and let out an exasperated groan at the mere sight of him.

Myles Morales. The worst person you’ve ever met. You’ve always wondered how him and Miles are even related. Ever since you were little he’s been a stick up your ass. You would always go back and flinch through memories of him pulling your hair as you scream and cry, him destroying all of your brand new dolls because they “needed a makeover ” , and him notoriously bullying you numerous times mercilessly as the years went by. He was always there, annoying you.

You cross you arms and let out a exasperated huff as you turn away from him. “Don’t you have someone else to annoy Morales? I’m not in the mood.” Myles chuckles at your childish behavior and struts into the room to sit beside you.

He inspects your face, frowning at your red eyes and stuffy nose. “I’m serious, mami. Those pretty tears only look good on your face if I’m causing ‘em.“ Myles softly grabs your chin and moves your face towards his. He raised his fingers to softly wipe your tears as you look deeply into his eyes.

Your heart quickens yet instead you release the insult bubbling in your throat. "Thanks for your oh-so-worrisome concern, Morales," you retort, venom lacing your words. He smirks in response. “Anytime, princesa (princess). I’m serious though, you cryin’ cause of my brother again?” You nod slowly looking away from his pitying gaze.

You bite your nails as your eyes look around the room once more landing on Miles sketchbook. Pain flickers in your eyes, catching Myles' attention.

The realization settles in Myles which is showcased by his new scowl on his face. “Ah I see, Its cause of that lil’ white chick, right?” Your eyes widen at how Myles was able to guess it correctly, you nod again slowly and try to concentrate on breathing before you continue wailing. “I just don’t understand, what’s so special about her? Was I ever even special to him if I could be replaced so easily?” You clench your fists, digging your nails into the fabric of your jeans, scrunching them up as your lip quivers.

Myles sucks his teeth in annoyance, followed by a deep sigh that catches your attention. “Why don’t you just tell him this, ma? Bet that’ll make him realize what’s in front of him.” You quickly shake your head, rejecting the idea. "I can't. It's not that simple. If I confess how I truly feel, what if it ruins everything? I can't risk that," you explain anxiously. Myles rolls his eyes at your dramatic response.

"There's no way it would go down like that, but let's entertain your idea. Are you saying all it would take is courage for you to confess to him?" he asks, testing the waters. There’s a different look in Myles eyes, they’re filled with mischief as he slowly scoots towards you.

“Well, yeah, I guess? Why?" You answer your voice layered with curiosity at Myles newfound demeanor. You tilt your head in confusion, What was he planning?

A gasp escapes your lips as Myles firmly grabs you waist tightly. His big hands pull you against him harshly. Instantly his lips lock with yours, showcasing deep desire as his kisses you. Your eyes widen momentarily before you surrender, closing them gently and placing a hand on his chest.

You wrap your arms around Myles' neck, deepening the kiss, your tongues intertwining desperately. He tastes so sweet, like slightly burnt caramel. Your body molds into his, feeling the hard contours of his muscled yet lean chest beneath your palm as you press into him.

You let out a soft whine against his lips, the sound echoing with a mix of pleasure and longing. Your breaths become heavy, synchronized with the intensity of the moment. Your mind becomes fuzzy, confused how you got to this point.

"There's no way it would go down like that, but let's entertain your idea. Are you saying all it would take is courage for you to confess to him?"

“Well, yeah, I guess? Why?"

“Why not just practice the having the real thing wit me?” Myles watched you scoff at the idea and laughs softly.

“I’m serious, ma. C’mon, just for practice, it’ll only be fo a lil bit. Just imagine I’m him” Myles brings his face closer to yours making your noses brush against each other.

“It’ll only be for a sec right?”, you question Myles nods, sensing he’s winning you over. “Promise, mi alma (my soul)”

You nod your head, and that gave him everything he needed.

Now you have your arms wrapped around Miles neck, playing with his braids as he layers kisses across your collarbone, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. Myles tugs at your shirt rising it up to lay his hand against your waist skin to skin. The heat from his hand placed on your waist shoots heat throughout your body.

You begin to sway, your strength ebbing away as your mind becomes blissfully hazy. Myles, ever attentive, keeps you steady, his hand resting firmly on your back while the other remains securely on your waist. He rises slightly, locking eyes with you, a playful chuckle escaping his lips as he delights in your slightly intoxicated-like state.

“C’mon, mi vida, you can’t be tired yet. I just got you.” he playfully teases, causing your face to twist with confusion. You lean your head into his shoulder leaving kisses along his neck.

Myles takes up your hand and interlocks it with his fingers. He tilts your face up to him. You look into his eyes and see something there, you just can’t tell what. He places kisses laced with adoration across your face, feeling like lighting sparks erupting across your skin.

“Mami, I haven’t always been the nicest to you, I admit that, but I also wanna admit that I-“

Right on cue, you once again hear the steps of someone walking towards the room. It must be Miles finishing his shower.

Your suddenly feel a wash of consciousness rush through your senses as you try to shuffle and fix your wrinkled clothing and correct your shriveled hair. Myles watches you and smirks at your attempt to clean up.

Miles soon steps into the room wearing a fresh set of clothes, “Sorry it took me so long, I got way into my shower playlist haha. You ready to sta-“ He eyes land on you and Myles, you watch as his face turns to confusion.

“Imma take that as my sign to leave” Myles gets up and heads to the doorway and starts to head out, before he turns his neck around to say one more thing. “I’ll see you around, ma. Let me know if you ever need more practice aight?”

EXTRA: You hurriedly shuffle to your backpack to go get your notebooks and supplies you usually use for your study sessions. As you do that Miles can’t help but watch as his brother slowly struts out the room pride written all over his face. Miles swore that as his twin left the room his could see a lipstick stain adorning Myles’ neck.

ENDING A/N: Thank you for reading this- Ion know if imma keep writing I just felt like making this at 2 am lol. Also please lmk if this is fast paced or not, that was on my mind while writing this whole thing. 💀 Love ya’ll babes <3

TAGS:

[taraxippos]

Do you have any nature documentaries you would recommend? I find a lot of them too sensationalized and not informative enough for my tastes

I think 'Nature' on PBS is like. THE best single show overall. It's been running since as long as I can remember and has a ton of episodes (most of the older seasons aren't available anymore though). It has different people involved with each production can have pretty significant variety in tone and approach, so some episodes are kinda flops but it never really falls into that wild crazy over-sensationalized end of the spectrum (just like. goofy or boring at worst). A lot of the time they tend to follow specific wildlife biologists working with the subject matter so you get an especially detailed look and expert perspectives involved. You can watch a good deal of them for free on the PBS website/youtube channel but some require a PBS subscription (I haven't found them streaming for free elsewhere)

BBC tends to make some of the the better nature docs out of the major networks like I think Planet Earth (and its sequel), Blue Planet (and its sequel), Frozen Planet, and Seven Worlds One Planet are all very good. BBC 'The Mating Game' falls into all the silliness one might expect but is also pretty solid and stood out to me because I realized I had NEVER seen homosexual behavior depicted in a nature documentary (depicts pair bonded female albatross at one point)

Prehistoric Planet is also excellent on the off chance you haven't seen it (there can be some nitpicks on like anatomical accuracy and the feasibility of some of the speculative behavior but this is like BY FAR by best quality dinosaur media I've ever seen).

I also accumulated a small playlist of nature docs on youtube that I thought were solid a couple years back. You can find some really good stuff available for free on youtube like there's a TON of nature docs out there, a lot of them pretty niche stuff or low budget but solid independent projects (just make sure you have a functional ad blocker because they're generally uploaded by specific channels laden with ads for the revenue)

[jupiter-aint-stupider]

A sneak peek of my attempt at a StEx fic for the first time in years, it's called "New Faces":

Quick name guide:

Goldenrod- Wembley Greaseball

Correy- Wembley Rusty

Dottie- Wembley Dinah

PB stands for Pacific Blue, GB's brother from Hero City Rollers, though they go by a new name now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Heh, least Goldenrod isn't here." Greaseball snorted, looping his thumbs in his belt as he watched the chaos.

"Goldenrod?" Rusty inquired, watching his cousin try (and fail) to escape the masses of Boxcars that were now trapping him in a massive group hug.

"She's my-"

"Oi! Come give your big sister a hug!"

"Starlight damn it."

A flashy diesel skated towards him eagerly, arms outstretched. She was shorter than Greaseball, though clearly no less powerful as she pulled him into a crushing hug.

When she pulled away, she looked at him with a critical, teasing eye, "Wow, you look worse for wear."

While he'd mostly recovered from the crash a few years ago, his plating still bore dents and scrapes from the incident.

"Don't look too hot yourself." Greaseball retorted.

Everybody heard that Troubadour Park had a very similar incident just last year, and it was clear that Goldenrod was still a bit damaged from it, Rusty noted that she was favoring one skate over the other.

She rolled her eyes at the insult, "Meathead."

"Brat."

"Manwhore."

"Shorty."

"Elvis knockoff."

"Your hair is stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

Greaseball huffed, changing the subject, "Have you heard from PB lately? He ain't called or anything for a while." He asked, referring to their younger brother who was supposedly somewhere in Nebraska. Rusty had never met him, but he sounded annoying, honestly.

"We call her Blue Lightning now...she's been at Troubadour for a bit." Goldenrod explained.

It took Greaseball a good second to understand what she meant by that.

Then it hit him, "Oh. Good for her!"

"I'll tell her to call you," Goldenrod mumbled, then she seemingly noticed Rusty for the first time, "What the hell is that?"

Greaseball cleared his throat, putting a possesive arm around Rusty's shoulders, "My partner, Rusty, he's Correy and Slick's cousin."

Rusty opened his mouth to say a greeting, but he was sharply cut off by Goldenrod's blunt words.

"A Steamer." It wasn't a question, but there was judgement.

Greaseball's eyes narrowed, "Yeah, got a problem with that?"

His sister gave him a long look before shrugging, dropping the rude expression in favor of a mischievous one, "No, I'm just glad whats-her-face finally left you."

"Her name is Dinah." Greaseball chuffed, clearly sensitive about that subject.

"Whatever." Goldenrod's face turned thoughtful and almost bashful, "I've got a dining car of my own now. Dottie. She's a real dream. She's back home watching the engine yard for me."

Rusty took this moment to blurt out what he's been thinking during the conversation, "Wait, wait, how's she your sister?"

GB tilted his head, "When two diesels love each other very much-"

"No, no, I know that, but weren't you built in Omaha?" As far as Rusty knew, Greaseball was pure American power, built and trained in Nebraska, and yet his sister was from London?

A dark blush spread to Greaseball"s face as he coughed awkwardly, "Well, pretty much-"

Goldenrod interrupted, a cheeky grin on her face, "Nah, we were both built in the UK, but Greasy here was bought by Union Pacific, and they reformatted him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greaseball was originally built in London 😱

@storyweaverofgondor @scissorsisterredcaboose @the-rum-tum-hatter @marleydoesinfactmoo @lils-dumb-acc

[specific-dreamer]

final excerpt omg, there’s a title now but for old time sake, pb&j go to darry instead of dally after the killing bob

Darry’s in bed for all of five minutes when he hears a muffled whine followed by quiet crying. It’s Ponyboy; he knows it. He waits a moment for Sodapop to wake up and handle it. Instead of Soda’s groggy voice asking what’s wrong, he hears the cries cut themselves off and the noisy movements of feet shuffling along the ground. Suddenly, having an intense amount of deja vu, Darry sits up.

His door creaks open and there stands Ponyboy with his baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders and fresh tears streaming down his face. When did he get that blanket? Darry could swear it wasn’t on his bed earlier. There’s a frown on Ponyboy’s face that brings Darry out of his thoughts, “Said come back?”

Darry rubs his eyes tiredly. “I did, baby, your eyes were just closed, you didn’t see me come in.”

“Nuh uh,” Pony shakes his head.

Darry blinks. “Yes they were! How you gon’ tell me?” He closes his eyes and sighs. Take a deep breath Darry, don’t let him rile you up. He opens his eyes and breathes out heavily. “Go back to bed, junebug.”

Ponyboy simply stares at him with his big green eyes. Darry can’t take much more of this tonight so he decides to beat the middle man; he scoots over, lays back down, and pulls the covers open. “Fine, get in.”

Before he can count to three, his littlest is tucked into his chest with the covers wrapped around him. Darry blinks twice in surprise before he closes his eyes to go to sleep.

“Darry?”

It takes everything in him not to sigh out loud. “Yes, Ponyboy?”

“When you didn’t come back-”

“I did-!”

“Thought you were gon’ leave us,” Ponyboy mutters. “Changed your mind and let the cops take me…”

Darry’s heart skips. “You thought I was gon’ do what, kid?”

“Is they gon’ take me and Johnny to the ‘lectric chair?” Pony asks in an attempt to change the subject.

Well, fuck Darry. He licks his lips and moves his hand to massage Ponyboy’s head. “No, baby. Ain’t nobody comin’ to take yall. I told you I’d keep you safe, didn’t I?” He can feel Ponyboy nod against him.

[bonemarble]

love all your posts on pb’s books! I’m so glad I came across your blog! what’s your opinion on Leah’s relationships with men outside of bran and Charles? namely Sam, Asil, and Tag? to varying degrees they’re pretty contentious (I’d say with Tag being the least threatening towards her)

not many thoughts about tag and asil! sorry! i never stopped to ponder about their relationship with leah too deeply as they are not very relevant to her overall story. i will keep this ask in mind for future re-reads and post something once i form a more definite opinion.

sam's trickier. his dislike for leah seems stronger than charles's and yet more shallow. a couple of reasons for this, i think:

1) charles dislikes leah as a person. he may not spend much thought on the finer points of her subjectivity and there's a rigidity to their interactions partly engendered by leah's role as bran's wife. but this role is something charles heeds mostly as a practical consideration in order to avoid his father's chastisement. overall, he sees leah as a human being not as bran's appendage. on the other hand, anyone correct me if i am wrong, i think i have only seen sam refer to leah in relation to her impact on one of his family members. somehow telling.

2) sam's relationship with bran has some ideological fractures, but it is not strained by a lack of love or respect: he perceives his place in bran's heart to be very secure. charles, who has suffered firsthand from bran's neglect and has spent a lifetime executing his darkest endeavours, is in a better position to empathise with leah and mistrust that bran's actions towards leah have the best intentions.

3) sam is also much more callous in the fundamental belief women are sexual objects and reproductive factories over which men have automatic rights. if he wasn't, he would have been much less casual and much more conflicted over his treatment of mercy, a teenager he seduced by deliberately assuming a protective role with the sole intention of making her bear his children. leah "refusing" to mother charles and "depriving" bran of the chance for a happier union must mark her as very unnatural in his eyes. and this opinion would have been reinforced by leah targeting mercy since she was young. that she tried to harm mercy is maybe the only element of personal offence he can muster against her. still it seems he only started intervening when he had the brilliant idea that mercy would make a good mate, so...

i don't think there is much more than this on his part tbh, he doesn't spend enough time considering her (as far as i can tell) for anything else to be there.

as for leah, i think she is jealous of him too, but it takes on a different quality compared to her jealousy for charles. sam was in some ways the closest thing bran had to an equal before sherwood reemerged. despite being the third to charles's second, the fact he and bran are so close in age and have so much shared history leaves an understanding between them that no one else can really penetrate. when leah came to live with bran, charles was a child and his opinion probably mattered as such. sam was already sam and probably the only person bran really trusted in the entire continent. i am theorising here, but logically i think at the beginning leah must have been simply intimidated by him and his disdain, probably angry too. overtime, as the goal for her to be bran's life partner became clearer, i think she may have started to resent his role in bran's life. with charles the competition is a bit more fair: bran loves him and will never love her, but at least the playing field to earn his respect trust etc started out somehow more even. how do you compete with samuel?

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (4/1/2025) Episode: Stressful Surprises

While Candor was getting his groove back the other members of the old house by The Bay continued to struggle.

Elyse stared down at the lonely, single pink line on yet another negative pregnancy test. Maybe if she kept watching long enough a second line would magically appear? When she was finally convinced the little stick wasn’t going go give her any good news, she threw the latest proof of her failure in the trash can and headed downstairs to find her spouse.

“Good morning beautiful!” xe greeted her cheerily. “I packed you my special PB&J for lunch. I threw in an apple too – an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and I know how much you want to avoid THEM”.

Elyse cracked a small smile at that “Thanks. I don’t know how you make your peanut butter so extra sweet and creamy, but I can’t get enough.”

“You think that’s good” xe continued as they grabbed breakfast “just wait until tonight. I booked us a table at this new restaurant in Tartosa Sigrid asked me to review. I’ve heard great things so I’m excited.”

“A date night sounds wonderful” she agreed “thanks for letting me tag along. Well, I better go get ready for work. I love you; I can’t wait!”

Skye had tactfully avoided asking if Elyse had taken a pregnancy test after the previous nights attempt but couldn’t help noticing her decidedly flat stomach as she made her way upstairs. She must have taken a test, but if she did that means she’s still not pregnant and if there was nothing wrong with us, she should be pregnant by now! Still, I don’t want to make her feel bad by pestering her before work…

Xir thoughts continued in a family planning related stress spiral as xe spun into xir career uniform and headed out the door to the office. I’ll broach the subject this evening, very carefully, if she doesn’t say anything about it first.

“Oh, this is delicious” Skye said, sipping xir nectar before happily shoveling another forkful of meatball into xir mouth. I always order the Chef’s Special when I’m out on a review… I figure its only fair to try what they think is their best offering… but they were really testing their luck with an Italian meatball.” Xe grinned and winked at xir wife. “I can taste the marjoram, no one ever thinks to add that and its so important to the final flavor profile.”

After ordering dessert, xir smile faded away as xe prepared to broach the subject xe’d been stewing over all day. “I see you got a glass of nectar with dinner…” xe began “I assume that means…”

“Do I LOOK pregnant!?” Elyse yelled “Yes, Skye, we failed, AGAIN. Thanks SO MUCH for reminding me!” before xe could respond her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, I’m just so frustrated. I thought it was going to be easy, but it's been ages and no luck. What’s wrong with us!?”

“I don’t know” Skye said “I’m frustrated too. Maybe its time to go see a fertility specialist, let them run some tests? Or I could…”

“Please don’t start with that again” she cut xem off “I’M going to be the one getting pregnant this time. I’m not interested in being poked and prodded by some idiot in a white coat either. There are tons of natural fertility treatments we can try first. I’ll do some research online. Neither one of us is sick, we don’t need doctors. We just need to try a little harder.”

Skye sighed. Xe’d expected this outcome, but xe still wished xe’d been able to convince her to trust medical science instead of whatever internet fad she unearthed this time.

Just then Skye did a double take when xe noticed the unexpectedly familiar couple that had been seated next to them while they’d been discussing their baby woes. Hey that’s what’s his name, Gretchen’s other dad… but that’s definitely not Theo… in fact I think its…

“Boss!?” xe sputtered “What a … pleasant surprise meeting you here?”

As Sigrid turned to them with a friendly wave, Skye frantically tried to figure out how to navigate this suddenly very awkward social situation.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[jakesuit0]

What Was Missing Review

Finn is revealed to regularly have alone time with the wad of Princess Bubblegum’s hair she gave him in “To Cut a Woman’s Hair”. It’s essentially a PG version of a guy still holding on to their ex’s underwear for personal use. The allegory is pushed forward with Finn checking to make sure he is alone. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly shocking behavior for a thirteen year old boy, but it’s the first big sign that Finn’s crush is getting unhealthy after “Too Young”. It’s time to move on! Unlike “Wizard Battle”, I like the incorporation of Finn’s feelings, despite the arc feeling like there’s nowhere to go after “Too Young”. It’s not the main conflict in the episode, and serves to build to a climax in the season finale.

The Door Lord steals Finn’s gum, Jake’s blanket, and BMO’s controller. It’s hilarious that he only speaks in loud mumbles. He’s supposed to be related to Key-per from “The Enchiridion!”. The Door Lord steals a toy from a candy person and Finn reassures him “I’ll get your kid back, toy!”. The episode wasn’t originally written this way. Adam Muto misspoke when he was pitching the episode and they thought it was funny to keep it like that. Door Lord steals something from Bubblegum and attempts to steal Marceline’s bass axe. With Maja being in possession of Hambo, it makes sense for her bass axe to be her most important item. Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, and BMO have to team up to solve the riddle of the door. It’s great getting to see this group of characters together for the first time. It’s the entire main cast minus Ice King, and they get so few opportunities to all be together before Stakes. Their group dynamic is so fun too. The episode is set in Red Rock Pass, which is a really pretty setting to choose for a (mostly) bottle episode. 

Marceline chastises Bubblegum for not executing the door lords, as they kept breaking out of jail. I’m not sure if PB is really above just killing them, considering all the fucked up stuff she’s done in the past. But, killing might be a bridge too far for her. I know she committed robot genocide, but I argue she didn’t see them as sentient beings. Jake decides to pretend to be the jerk in the band. Since Jake doesn’t have a grand emotional arc, this is a funny role to put him in. Marceline starts singing “Just Your Problem”:

-“I’m gonna drink the red from your pretty pink face”. This pretty much gives the game away about PB and Marcy not being platonic. She’s singing about kissing and biting PB. 

-PB calls it “distasteful”, causing Marceline to accuse her of just not liking her. This ties into PB not liking Marceline’s behavior when she got more and more consumed with her princess duties. Marceline became well aware of this by their first mission to the Glass Kingdom (“Oh c’mon, you love it.”). 

-“Sorry I don’t treat you like a goddess. Is that what you want me to do?” She’s calling out PB’s god complex. Marceline assumes Bonnie thinks she’s better than her, like how she sings “you’re self-obsessed and all the rest” in Distant Lands.

-“Sorry I don’t treat you like you’re perfect, like all your little loyal subjects do. Sorry I’m not made of sugar. Am I not sweet enough for you?”. Marceline thinks Bubblegum demands absolute loyalty from everyone as she does with her citizens. She thinks PB would prefer Marceline to be a dum dum juiced moron that never questions her. We don’t know if Marceline is aware of the dum dum juice, but I like to think that she’s partially referring to that. It also relates to Marcy viewing PB as a dictator as she sings in “Woke Up”. She thinks PB wants her to turn down her edginess and be sweeter, like when she wasn’t taking the situation in the Glass Kingdom seriously, something I’m sure wasn’t an isolated incident. 

-I’ll lump together “Is that why you always avoid me?” with the later line “I forgot what landed me on your blacklist.”  Some people question why Marceline wonders this considering her singing “Woke Up” is the obvious answer. I think she’s partially referring to PB’s actions before their breakup. Bubblegum grew more distant as her responsibilities grew, something that confused and hurt Marceline. PB talks about this in “Varmints”. She’s also referring to PB being cold to Marceline for centuries after their breakup. Even when they were around each other in “Power Animal” and “Video Makers”, we don’t see them talking. Bubblegum was very dismissive of Marcy in “Go With Me”. This is partially Marceline’s fault, as she can be really rude and mean to Bonnie, as seen in this episode. 

-“I shouldn’t have to justify what I do.” Marceline doubles down on acting the way she thinks people perceive her. If people think she’s a monster, it's less painful for her to embrace it. This is something she picked up on from thinking she scared her mother away.

-“I shouldn’t have to be the one who makes up with you so why do I want to…” Marceline thinks that since PB is the one who pushed her away, PB is the one who should take the initiative of making things right. There is some truth to this, but as we see in “Obsidian”, they are both more at fault than Marcy is willing to admit. The faces on the door glow brighter and Marceline gets closer to the truth. The truth is she wants to at least be friends with Princess Bubblegum again. That’s the real reason she joined the group here. Reconnecting to PB is something we’ll see her try to do in episodes like “Sky Witch”, “Princess Day”, and “Varmints”. 

The song itself slaps. “Just Your Problem” is super popular, so much so that tons of non-fans know the song. A big reason being that it’s probably the most relatable Adventure Time song ever. A lot of people have friends and lovers that drifted away from them or became downright cold to them due to their differences. Rebecca Sugar even based the song off of her experience with a roommate. Princess Bubblegum’s face during this is also pretty telling. She was definitely having flashbacks to the last time Marceline humiliated her with a song. PB’s face turns to shock when Marceline is on the verge of revealing she wants to make up with her. I don’t blame Bonnie for not realizing this. Marceline’s general nastiness towards her, and of course what she said about her while singing “Woke Up”, would give PB the opposite impression. 

Finn doesn’t fully grasp the tension between PB and Marcy, but is able to diffuse the awkwardness and get everyone (besides Jake) to have fun together. I also like how sweet Marceline is to BMO, gently calling him “baby”. I like PB’s quirky attempt at a science based song, which is more fitting for her than singing her heart out like Marceline and Finn. Her song fails and Marceline uses it to antagonize PB. She fixates on Bonnie’s failures as she feels insecure in her presence. The words “monster trash” are definitely echoing in her mind here. Marceline is still really nasty to PB. A lot of it feels like unwarranted bullying without the context of future episodes, but even with the context, it still feels that way to an extent. Spitting on PB is pretty inexcusable and Bubblegum is totally right to walk away after it. Their conflict boils down to Princess Bubblegum’s ego and Marceline’s insecurity clashing. I also like the detail of Shelby slithering back into Jake’s smashed viola. 

As a final effort, Finn sings “My Best Friends in the World” after realizing the key to the door is the truth:

-“Am I a joke…?” Finn worries that Marceline doesn’t respect Finn, and perhaps only hangs around him because she enjoys messing with him. This is an understandable fear with episodes like “Henchman”. It’s still fundamentally untrue, squashed by the end of “Henchman” and in “Heat Signature”. There is no denying, however, that she loves trolling Finn. She likes messing with everyone, Finn’s young mind just makes him an easier target.

-“...your knight…?” This could be taken to mean Finn wonders if PB only keeps him around, and entertains his advancements, just to use his service to the kingdom. It’s true that Bubblegum employs Finn a lot, and isn’t above manipulating him for her benefit (“The Other Tarts”, “Too Old”, “James”), but she still genuinely enjoys his company whether they are working or just hanging out. He might also just be referring to this positively, as her knight in shining armor.

-“Do you look down on me because I’m younger?” All of Finn’s closest companions are older than him, and it makes sense that this weighs on him. Even Jake, who is often close to Finn’s level and acts as a best friend, also often acts as his parental guardian. This line applies most of all to Bubblegum, given how recent “Too Young” is. The events of that episode are still raw for Finn, and PB’s behavior to him after her age was restored came across as condescending and dismissive. 

-“I just wanted us together and to play as a band. Last night was the most fun I’ve ever had.” Finn loves getting to finally hang out with everyone he loves together and feeling like part of a family.

-“Even liked it when the two of you would get mad at each other.” Finn prefers honesty between friends, and appreciates seeing their more vulnerable side as they are usually more closed off from their true emotions in front of him.

-“You are my best friends in the world. And that’s right, I’m talking about the two of you girls. And you Jake.” With his parents dead, the three of them are by far his closest companions. He’s even grown very close to Marceline in recent times. It’s kinda mean to exclude BMO, who’s right there, but BMO becomes more of a part of Finn’s family over time than he is here. 

-“I’ll forget that I lost a piece of your hair. I’ll remember the pasta that we shared over there”. Very sweet line about how the wad of hair doesn’t really matter, the time he spends with PB and getting to be her friend is what’s meaningful to him. I like how the pasta has a double meaning. He obviously just shared pasta with her, but he also had a pasta dinner with Bubblegum when she gave him the hair. 

Finn’s song is my favorite moment of the series so far, and one of the best scenes ever in the series. I thought “Just Your Problem” was Adventure Time’s best song up to now but it’s then immediately topped. I love everyone participating in the song, especially Marceline singing along with Finn for parts of it. Finn’s song causing even PB and Marcy to harmonize together is great symbolism for Finn helping to bring them back together. Even Jake finally breaks character, he’s too caught up in the moment! Rebecca Sugar drew on her feelings of being a young newcomer when she joined the Adventure Time staff to write this song. Worrying about how your friends see you and if they respect you is another very ubiquitous concern. 

The group realizes that the Door Lord showed them that the real treasure is friendship. It’s very cheesy but the contents of the episode does enough to justify it. It’s cool how well the episode ties two themes into this episode: friendship and honesty. The quick cut from the Door Lord happily seeing they got the message to him being bruised and tied up is hilarious. They get their items back, including the famous rock shirt. It’s not at all PB’s style, going to show how much its pure sentimentality means to Bubblegum. The reveal that PB kept the shirt comes as a shock to Marceline. She realizes that Bonnie doesn’t see her as just her problem. Marceline blushing and PB revealing she wears the shirt all the time as pajamas are heavy hints to their romantic pairing. Their interactions in this episode are very queer-coded, even though they aren’t hitting us over the head with it like they do in season 7 onwards. The episode itself gives enough to figure out the broad strokes of Marceline and Bubblegum having a past and a falling out without giving the details, and it’ll be a long time until they are willing to explore it more at all. It’s revealed that Marceline only joined to hang out with them. Beyond reinforcing the theme of friendship, Marceline and PB now know that the other is interested in reforming a connection again, even if Marceline will have to be the one that ends up instigating it. 

“What Was Missing” is a fan favorite for good reason. The two musical numbers are the biggest draw and they are incredible. Rebecca Sugar using her own personal experiences to write them makes them feel so raw and personal. It’s some of the most direct the series ever is about Marceline and especially Finn’s thoughts and feelings, with them explicitly singing them. It’s refreshing to get some clear cut insight as the show is usually much more guarded. I wouldn’t want the series to always be this direct, but it's nice to have moments like these every once in a while to help provide insight into their other appearances. The episode is essentially a precursor for Steven Universe. You could slot in Steven for Finn, Pearl for Bubblegum, and Amethyst for Marceline quite easily. I also really like PB in this one! Despite “What Was Missing” having not one, but two characters that are in love with Princess Bubblegum, she gets to shine. It’s definitely more Marceline-heavy, but I like PB standing up for herself, getting to see her side of the conflict, and the return of her quirks with her scientific song. PB and Marceline also have pretty great outfits here, and it’s definitely their most iconic looks besides their default outfits. 

Rebecca Sugar has since stated that she wrote PB and Marcy as exes in this episode. She felt their interaction in “Go With Me” read that way. The episode does a great job extrapolating from that brief interaction. According to Rebecca Sugar, she pitched this idea to Adam Muto, who she boarded the episode with, and he approved. They ran this by Pen who also liked it. Cartoon Network forbade the crew from being explicit with it. They still did a good job making it as clear as they could with the restrictions and the fandom picked up on it. Rebecca Sugar wanted to include LGBTQ representation and felt that exploring it through the lens of two exes with a past was the best path to getting it in. Despite it only being subtextual, it was a big deal for 2011. 

This episode stirred up quite the firestorm. It’s possibly not a coincidence that it would take almost two years for PB and Marcy to interact again. The Fredator associated Youtube channel Mathematical! posted recaps after the airing of Adventure Time episodes. After the airing of “What Was Missing”, their recap speculated on the possible romantic pairing between Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, interlaced with overtly romantic drawings of Marceline and Bubblegum from character designer and storyboard revisionist Natasha Allegri. As a result, Fredator fired Mathematical! producer Dan Rickmers, deleted the video, and cancelled the Youtube series. Times were different then, but that’s no excuse for such an overreaction. Fred Seibert offered the following explanation:

“Well, I completely screwed up. There’s been chatter on the internet recently about our latest Adventure Time “Mathematical!” video recap that we created, posted, and removed here at Federator. I figure it’s time to clear up the matter. In trying to get the show’s audience involved we got wrapped up by both fan conjecture and spicy fanart and went a little too far. Neither Cartoon Network nor the Adventure Time crew had anything to do with putting up or taking down our latest re-cap. The episode ”What was Missing” remains a terrific short and will be shown again and again just like any other Adventure Time episode. I let us goof in a staggering way and I’m deeply sorry it’s become such a distraction for so many people.” It’s a really weak reasoning as Mathematical! had always been a fan oriented show and that’s what the entire fandom was talking about. Still, I’d expect this from an executive. What was unexpected were Adam Muto’s comments: 

“If it was just a fan video there would be no problem at all. The problem was that it was made by a production company actively involved with the show. The video took something that was a possible subtext and declared it, in effect, text and made it seem like the production was actively seeking out input on plot development. That's all there is to it.” Considering Sugar said that Adam Muto agreed with that interpretation, it would have been for the best if he just stayed out of the situation. That’s what Pen Ward did ("It’s hard to comment on that, because there were so many extreme positions taken on it all over the Internet, and it happened so quickly. I don’t really want to comment on it because of that, because there were so many extreme sides taken. It was a big hullaballoo.")

Now that we know Bubbline was in fact the crew’s intention, and it’s since been explicitly canonized, the situation is just even dumber. Dan Rickmer is definitely owed an apology. But what’s really important is the series no longer having to keep their relationship a big secret.

Grade: A+

[jazeswhbhaven]

🖤New Year, New Blog. Who dis?🖤 (not rly)

banner credit: @/omkookie

I realized that I was pretty much over halfway into the month and didn't make a damn monthly update lmaooo. I won't lie to ya'll I've been overly exhausted and trying to keep up the momentum so things may be falling behind as I'm still regaining my energy from being sick for pretty much a month straight. 😭

But as always I'm appreciative of all my followers and mooties who have stuck around and have been patient with me!!

Now as always, I gotta lay down the ground rules...especially since the pg14+ version is out.

🖤None, nada, absolutely no minors allowed here. Do not interact with me or my posts please. If I catch you, you will be blocked.

🖤Requests are slow, please be assured your reply is coming!

🖤No "he said, she said" bs in my DM's. I'm not a mediator. If it's important such as harassment/etc. that is something to alert me about so I can handle it.

🖤Feel free to brain rot with me in my inbox too even if it's about other things and not WHB!

🖤Any paid card content is either shared with me via moot/friend or an anonymous source. Please understand when asking me for specific things I have to gatekeep due to PB's warning last year. This doesn't mean I don't want to share for the sake of not sharing, I literally don't want trouble for folks who go out of their way to share in case someone feels like snitching...

My plans for January! (even though we're literally two weeks from it being over)

🖤Luci Blow, Satan Victory, Mammon Victory (Prologue in case I don't get him), Chapter 7 (Recap) React

🖤Completing Requests <3

🖤Finally finishing Satan Torture Rewrite fic!

With that being said, this is all subject to rollover into next month~ Even though requests are slow, please feel free to send them in still. They will be answered.

My thoughts on the "censored" version of WHB and what this means for this blog

I haven't downloaded it (and won't), but from what I'm seeing and hearing from various sources, they barely censored anything. Threw a band-aid on it took out the H-scenes. That's the bare minimum I saw when it was showed. Everything else still appears as if we were using the Google Play version which also didn't have much censoring.

When it comes to emailing the company they sort of just pick what to respond to and leave the rest in the dark. Another complaint about the 14+ version obviously would end up in the trash at this point.

What it means for this blog is, nothing. Nothing is changing. My boundaries are the same, I have never allowed minors in my spaces in the first place so the bare minimum I ask folks is to be honest. I get some of ya'll don't want to reveal your age for safety reasons, but this is literally important.

So there's not really much to update on this month! With all the new content out, things have been poppin' lately and I love that. Ofc this does mean here in a bit there's going to be some kind of event and I wonder if it will be an Abaddon one so we can get more Ronove, Phenix and Dantalian content! Those are the nobles I really would like to get more lore about.

Otherwise, whether you're a new follower or have been here a minute, stay awesome, stay lovely, and welcome to hell <3

-yourlovelyadmin Jaze~(～￣▽￣)～

[1percentcharge]

On the subject of proshots, I thought you might like to know a number of shows, including a lot of Sondheim were filmed for PBS in the 90s and are available on YouTube. So far, I’ve seen Into the Woods, Sunday in the Park with George, A Little Night Music, and Pacific Overtures on YouTube

Remind me two weeks from now when my finals are over

[jodilin65]

Monday, April 28, 2025

It's been said that when we close ourselves off from others, it keeps the negative people out, but it also keeps the positive ones out as well. Well, I decided to go public again on PB because that's how you meet some of the awesome people I've met. Again, and as I reminded myself, I can always block anyone I feel I need to block for whatever reason. It's really that simple.

Last night, I was lying in bed in the dark with no sounds going, other than the fan overhead, which I could barely hear. I didn't have the air cleaner on or anything because sometimes late in the night, after the planes have died down, I like to just relax in the dark and in silence. When I was doing this, I thought I heard a movement of some kind. I wrote it off to the house settling or the loose floorboard by the bed popping. I didn't really think it was outside, but I didn't think much of it until a few minutes later. At that point, I swear it sounded like something bounced off the carpet. I jumped up faster than fast and turned the lights on, but never saw anything. I thought that with a sound like that, it might have been a frog or a lizard, but I never saw a thing. Pretty sure it was in the room, though.

I later came to question whether or not my doll Jade could have had anything to do with it, assuming she really is haunted. After having a feeling for a few days that I should get the EMF reader out again, I first asked other dolls for a response and got nothing. Then I asked Jade if there was anything positive and loving residing within her to please light up the reader and it lit up like the 4th of July. I asked again for confirmation, and again it lit up. I wish to hell I had this videoed!

Because she's a big doll at 32 inches, I moved her from my tall dresser to my long one so she's more at eye level. This is where things kind of bounced between convincing to uncertainty. I let them know that if there was a positive spirit dwelling within, they were welcome to stay as long as they wanted. I said I would be a good companion and would love to have them as a companion in return, but that they should know they weren't trapped and were free to move on at any point if they felt the need to do so.

Not wanting to push too much too fast, I asked a few questions and got a blink of the light after every question. But that was part of the problem. I got blinks to "Did you die accidentally?" and "Were you murdered?" I also got blinks to "Were you in your 20s?" and "Were you in your 30s?"

Then I returned to a different doll that showed no response yesterday, named Joy, and she lit up whenever I would ask her something. Then, with both dolls, I remained completely silent, holding the EMF reader steadily by their faces, and periodically, the same light would light up.

Doubt was beginning to creep in again until I got out the rose quartz necklace I'm using as a pendulum. Not sure what to think, but something may be up because it seemed to swing on its own when I asked questions. I will have to have Tom observe me and tell me if my arm and hand really appear as still as I thought they were, because I realize even the slightest movement could cause it to swing.

I'm going to prepare a list of questions I want to ask it gradually. But again, I don't know what to think for sure. I started getting really convinced for a minute there, but now I'm not sure where to go from here, but maybe just to give it time. If my friend, who seems to be quite an expert on this subject, is right about Jade being haunted based on a picture I took of her 20 years ago, well, 20 years is a long time. So maybe it just feels weird to this entity to be communicating with me all of a sudden. I don't know if these things are instantaneous, or if they really do take time, or what. Maybe it feels like it just needs to get the hang of the best way to communicate with me.

I thought it sounded pretty simple — just move the pendulum or light up the light. But not if that's going to happen with every single question I ask. This ghost couldn't have died in her 20s and in her 30s, assuming it’s a her.

Anyway, my fatigue continues to be off the charts, and I hope to hell I have enough energy to drag myself to my dentist tomorrow. It's scary bad at times, but hopefully I'll get the CPAP next week. I have to hope even more that it actually helps once I adjust to it! I can't keep playing this "guess the health problem" game. I really can't. Something's got to give. I barely have the energy to feed myself.

I'm sticking to the clonazepam until I get through this tough period. Tom and I both agree that most of my anxiety is stemming from the sleep issues. If I could just get adjusted to the CPAP, get my energy back, and get my life back and my peace of mind, I will be forever grateful. Then, to get a good, long break from additional health issues would really be the icing on the cake. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but I don't want to be too negative either.

I asked AI why I'm so prone to nightmares. I haven't had any trauma in many years, wasn't sexually abused, wasn’t a war veteran — so what could be causing them? Well, apparently it might be hereditary. Lucky me to have such great genes, huh?

Last night, I had to sleep in this huge dorm room, although it wasn't any kind of jail or anything. I don't know what it was, but there was actually carpet on the floor of this large room, and the beds were real beds. They weren't just mats on the floor or airbeds. There were three openings off this rectangular-shaped room. One was the entry door, another was the door to the bathroom, and then there was a window like you might find in a hotel where the staff were. There were about half a dozen beds, and they were huge. They slept anywhere from 4 to 6 women.

The night before, it was encountering a huge Palmetto bug.

Tom spotted a dead armadillo by the side of the road when he was out the other day. He was surprised because he didn't think they were this far north in this state.

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Decided once again to just keep current stuff on PB. I don't know why, but it just seems like some places are better for everything while others are better just for what's going on in the moment. Or at least fairly recently.

Excited to connect with Melanie and fellow psychic on Facebook. I almost never share my Facebook profile with anyone. Very, very picky about who I add there. It's cool because she's the one who requested to add me. Anyway, I hope we can not only be good friends but also learn from each other since we have different psychic abilities. 

She confirmed that sometimes her ghosties go silent or give conflicting responses, and she has to just go with her intuition. Supposedly, it takes a hell of a lot of energy for them to make things happen and influence things like EMF readers, etc. Furthermore, she truly believes without a doubt that Jade is haunted, and if I'd like, she could give me an idea of when and how she died, she said. I told her she's welcome to offer anything anytime and doesn't need to ask.

Now here's a pretty amazing update. When I moved Jade across the room to the long dresser, her responses lessened and eventually stopped altogether, especially when Tom came into the room to observe. I teased him about her not liking him and being sexist, LOL.

Then, just like I had a feeling I should get the EMF reader out again, I also had a feeling that I should move Jade back by Joy. I don't know if she just likes that dresser better or if she considers Joy her friend or little sister (I sense a bonding with Joy, though Joy's not haunted), but I'm no longer laughing at the thought of haunted dolls! I wonder if it means there is an afterlife after all. The more she reacts, the harder it is to write it off as a coincidence.

I shared a couple of quick videos with Mel, and in the first video, Jade's on the long dresser being quiet, and then I moved her across the room and that's when I compared her with Joy, who didn't make the EMF reader react, but Jade clearly did. After I had a bite to eat, I didn't video it, but again, I went back and talked to Joy and got radio silence. But then, whenever I said something to Jade—blink.

Woke up at 155.0 pounds today, but I don't feel overmedicated. I also woke up exhausted but then was surprised by gaining a little more energy a few hours later. Just a little worried we might not get the CPAP this week and that we're dealing with the usual bullshit incompetency in which the only ones that have to suffer for it is us — as usual. As long as it gets shipped by Wednesday, it should be FedEx Expressed to us by Friday.

I'm not suicidal, but really, I just want to get better or die. Not keep suffering year after year! 

I got to have some fun dreams for once last time around. We were on a ship somewhere. I don't know if we were living there for a while or just vacationing, but two of the room’s walls were cut out. I was standing on the open corner looking out to sea. The water was a bit rough, and I was watching a boat in the distance bob up and down. It was raining, and I was getting wet, but I didn't mind. Suddenly, I realized I was standing a bit too close to the edge, so I scooted back.

Another dream brought us holiday goodies from Miss Perfect, even though we both gave up sugar. Many were wrapped with Christmas designs like Santa and Christmas trees, but then there were some with dreidels and the Star of David, and I thought, wow, how thoughtful of her.

There have been times when I've been tempted to reach out to her through other family members I can find on Facebook and let her know that, regardless of any past disagreements, we hope she and Dave are doing well. But I don't know how Tom would feel about that. Besides, would it really change anything? Would they even reply? I doubt it. People don't change. This is why I'm making more and more of an effort to stay away from those who have been a problem in the past, even if I no longer have hard feelings toward them.

The rat's tumor is growing. Sadly, that's how it works — it grows a little more every day. On the bright side, she's still getting around and doesn't appear to be in pain. We're not going to let her get to the point of suffering. We'll euthanize her ourselves when the time comes, and… well, I don't want to think about that now. I just want to enjoy what time she has left. Having the experience with rats that I have, I can't see her getting past August. 🙁

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

My dentist appointment went well. Got to go back in 4 months. It would still help a lot if some of the foreigners coming into the country would practice adopting our accent as well, so I don't have to keep asking them over and over again what the fuck they're saying, especially when it comes to dealing with my health.

I got up to find Tom had already crashed, even though it wasn't 9:00 yet. I've pointed this out to him, but I don't think he sees the pattern I see. He stays up later when I get up in the late afternoon and crashes earlier when I get up in the early evening so as to see to it that I'm not alone as much (because of the anxiety I’ve had over the sleep issues).

But there was an email from him that didn't surprise me in the least. I knew this would happen. I just knew it. Both the CPAP company and Circle are fucking up. He called the CPAP people, and they said they didn't get the fax due to issues with their fax machine. So he contacted Circle, and they said they couldn't provide the copy he wanted, but they did get a message saying that the fax didn’t go through. And they didn't even have the decency to tell us and try to get it to go through again because?!... 

So they said they refaxed it, but by the time all was said and done, the CPAP company was closed. Again, it doesn't surprise me in the least if there really is a curse on my sleep, as I suspect there has been for most of my life. Why would it hasten up anything that could help it? It makes no sense, though, that they can't give us a copy of the prescription. What am I supposed to do in the future when I eventually need a new machine? Go through the same cycle of bullshit?

Had the usual bad dreams and nightmares. I lived alone in a tiny apartment on the ground floor. I was going to go out to some pool, lake, or beach with Melanie and her fiancé one day. At least I think it was her in the dream. I somehow locked the door with my key still inside and started freaking out and screaming, “What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?!” I woke up as I was screaming this. 😬

In the second dream, I was staying wherever and facing homelessness because I couldn't stay there forever, and I was missing the hell out of Tom. I don't think he was dead, though. I think he dumped me. 🙁

As for Jade, every time I get close to being pretty sure she really is haunted, I'm not sure what to think. Melanie had a long, rough day after a sleepless night, so she let me know she'll give me her take on Jade tomorrow and just didn't want me to think she forgot about me. I told her it was no problem and that I totally understood all about fatigue. 

Really starting to think something's wrong with Vanessa because I haven't heard from her, and there have been no updates on PB. If she decided to dump me, then why keep me on her friend list?

Had to lie down before finishing this entry because I'm so tired and winded. Fuck this fucking bullshit! It shouldn't take over half a year to get back on a fucking CPAP! My brain and body can only take so much more oxygen deprivation before they give out. These people and their fucking incompetency are gonna end up killing me if they don't get their shit together soon.

Did another EMF test on both Joy and Jade. Twice, I asked Joy to light up if anything dwelt within her and got nothing, but Jade gave me a quick blink. I guess if you asked me, on a scale of one to 10, how convinced I was that something does indeed dwell within Jade, I would say I was somewhere between a 7 and an 8.

[lakesparkles]

11 bojack x Mr. Pb

11 - If they aren't a canon pairing, how would you get them together?

This is a great one for them because I wonder about this subject a lot, especially after seeing more fanart of them.

I think the best way would be after the finale, when they're already living together and, the most important, trying to be better in general. All of this would take time and their relationship won't be great all the time, but they're trying. Bojack will learn how to be more patient and Mr Peanutbutter will learn how Bojack needs some space and time alone sometimes. With this, they'll talk about their past more and more and also realize they have more in common than they thought. Or better, than Bojack thought, PB would be like "I told you so!!"

They probably would be watching a movie some night and be laughing about something Bojack said and sudenly kiss and be "why did I do that??" for the next 2 weeks at the same time they think how it felt right.

[door]

my friend asked me for murder show recs and i put together a list of a bunch of them and thought i'd also share it here in case anyone else who was not raised by the glow of mystery! on pbs might want an intro. extremely subjective commentary, obvs. enjoy.

hello. welcome to the world of finding television shows about people getting killed comforting. it's fucked up, but who isn't. here's a list of the ones i like and why and where to watch them.

midsomer murders (1997-current): this is one of those sterotypical "it ran for 25 years and did nearly 18 episodes" british shows. it was adapted from a book series, which are the early eps. they're really fucked up and great imo. the later ones lose that sharpness, but until seasons 20+ i think it's a really solid show. the theme song is performed on a theremin. pluses: every great british actor shows up at least once, incredibly great deaths, lots of hyper niche hobby groups, tom barnaby is the best. minuses: showrunner brian true-may quoted as saying that his version of "english countryside" is entirely white. he was booted from the show at that point, however. i've watched the entire series 2-3 times, except for s5e3 "Ring Out Your Dead" because there's a death in it that i found particularly tragic the first time i watched it and have no desire to revisit it (but ymmv). robyn's fave ep is s3e3 "Judgement Day," because a brass band plays the show's theme song at a village fete and also Orlando Bloom is run through with a pitchfork. (ACORN)

Poirot (1989-2013): truly the goat. David Suchet bodies this role. i don't know how familiar you are with christie, but hercule poirot was her recurring detective character, a fastidious little belgian living in 1930s England. in this show, it's the late 1930s for 20 years, and the sets and costumes are so good. not a single streamline moderne property in england is overlooked. the early episodes are short--40ish minutes each--but they transition to 90 minutes at some point. they adapt all of the poirot books, with the big ones--murder on the orient express and death on the nile--done as higher budget tv movies. (BRITBOX)

marple (2004-2013): another christie adaptation, with 2 actresses playing miss marple in sequence. they also adapted a bunch of non-marple stories to have miss marple in them. set post-WWII, mainly countryside english mysteries. (BRITBOX)

miss fisher's murder mysteries (2012-2015, film in 2020): set in 1920s melbourne, mfmm follows independently wealthy private eye phryne fisher. it's an adaptation of modern novels, so it's less conservative than the christies. phryne's best friend is a suit-wearing lesbian doctor. it's a sharp, smart show, and phryne herself (as well as her relationship with buttoned-up detective jack robinson) is very sexy. it ran three seasons and was followed by a crowd-funded film in 2020, which isn't GOOD, but it is FUN. there's another a spin-off set in the 1960s called miss fisher's modern mysteries, which follows phryne's niece. again--not good, but fun. nothing beats the og series tho. (ACORN)

lewis (2006-2015): this is technically a spin-off of the inspector morse series, which started in the 80s, but i've never watched it so you should be fine. this follows very un-academic inspector lewis and his very academic assistant DS hathaway in EXTREMELY academic oxford england. i really dig the pacing of this, as well as how profoundly weird smart people can be. the big downside is the actor who played hathaway is laurence fox, who's a real stinker of a dude. right-wing, racist, etc. so. ymmv. (BRITBOX)

vera (2011-current): vera is a nearly retired, irascible, set in her ways detective in northumberland. she heads her own department, so part of the appeal is definitely trim youngsters dashing to do her bidding with a "yes mum." she drives a huge old land rover, wears a raincoat everywhere, has no patience for class barriers, and in short i love her. in the newer seasons there is also a detective in her squad called Jaq who is a very cute butch. (BRITBOX)

dalgliesh (2021-current): adaptation of pd james novels following detective-poet adam dalgliesh. set in the 1970s, which sets it apart and which i quite enjoy. his character is really sensitive and thoughtful is a way that's unusual for cop shows. (ACORN)

annika (2021-current): i'm gonna dive into some of the weirder ones now. annika is still pretty serious, but the title character has a habit of breaking the 4th wall to loop the audience in on the meta nature of her thoughts--usually relating to a book or story. it's set in glasgow and they investigate marine crime specifically. annika is played by nicola walker, who full disclosure i find VERY attractive. she's norwegian, she's odd, and she's trying her best. she has a teenage daughter who's gay. (PBS)

queens of mystery (2019-current): this one is VERY odd. think british murders meets pushing daisies. there's a narrator, and occasional technicolor flights of fancy. it follows a very serious detective who was raised by her three aunts after her mother was killed. she comes back to work in her home town and has to navigate both sides of her life, plus still wanting to know who killed her mother. production was interrupted by covid, so the main actress changed between seasons, but the new person is also very good. (ACORN)

brokenwood mysteries (2014-current): this one is sort of...sillier than the rest? it's a new zealand show set in a small town. it's fairly queer (although not nearly queer enough), and one of the things i love the most about it is it maintains a roster of recurring characters (which i think is only possible because of the small size of the NZ film industry). pretty good maori rep, especially jared, a local who seems to know or be related in some way to everyone in town. i adore him. he's off the show now, and i miss him. (ACORN)

mcdonald & dodds (2020-current): set in bath, this is an odd couple partnership of an ambitious young cop lately from london and a shy older cop who has lived in bath all his life and hasn't seen action in a decade. their interactions are funny and lovely, and it's refreshing to see a black woman character allowed to be ambitious. (BRITBOX)

[paragonrobits]

So the primary parallels between Marshall Lee and the Star’s stories, going back to back, seems to say two things:

The business world Ms Abadeer wants her son to go in is Hell; an evil place of cutthroat decisions where all that matters is what you want and getting it no matter the moral compromises you make. It’s the same as the Nightosphere, and a fairly direct translation from Ooo’s fantastical nature to the mundane world. It seems to be a universal constant; Abadeer wants the child who left them to take up the family business, even though they very much don’t want to and find the concept repellant.

So we see the Star, Marceline at her worst; a childish monster that murders without hesitation or concern, without any empathy for anyone but herself and the father figure she adores, who forces her minions to destroy themselves out of fear. There is nothing of the heroine that saved Ooo’s humans from vampire threats even as they ran away from her; this isn’t a person who wants to protect anyone.

She has very much entered the family business.

But as a contrast, we see that Lee is NOT like her. He is an incarnation of Marceline at their best; a humble person who left the business world on purpose and intends to never go back, but sacrifices his happiness for someone he just met, to make someone else happy and give them their dream.

The same applies to Gary/Gumball, and he acts as a contrast to the Bonnibel of Vampire World, though this arguably shows PB as more of a heroine, though a ruthless and rough one suited to the world she has to endure. She’s harsh, uncompromising and indifferent, evidently willing to run over seemingly harmless civilians (though with the implicit point that this particular scam has been used to trick her, and in a world like hers, she can’t afford to take risks) and barely blinks at one of her few friends and soldiers dying. And again, she is a daughter of the Vampire World; she is harsh, and cold and perhaps even callous, because she MUST be to survive such an awful place, just like how Farmworld Finn is closed off, tired and wary.

Gary shows a side of PB at their best, too. He doesn’t seem to really want to rule anything, but just to make the stuff he likes without having a demanding boss make him compromise his artistic ambitions; he’s horrified at the prospect of someone subjecting themselves to a miserable fate for his own benefit, and immediately drops his prospects so they don’t have to do that.

This shows PB and Marceline at their best; sacrificing something, taking responsibility and making the calls others shouldn’t have to. And it begs the question; much of what’s going on reflects on Simon in some way, even if its just the multiverse assuring him that yes, he DOES matter even as an ordinary guy with no power. Perhaps we do see it here, because they ARE inside his head, and it may be that his thoughts and mind influencing them.

The big thing about Simon that makes him important isn’t the power of the crown, but his impact on people, his restraint, and his willingness to let himself suffer because he believes its better that HE suffers than the world does. He might not be there in person, but perhaps an aspect of him is still influencing them, to make the best decisions they can.

[auntarctica]

Hi there! Huge fan! I came for the violenty electric ubermensch and his bombshell bimboy, stayed for everything else. Seriously: Despite not being familiar with most of the other fandoms you've written for outside of Metal Gear, I've read every single one of your fics. Your writing really is something. As for my question: Outside of fanfics, what do you like to read? Favourite authors? Books? Genres? Thanks in advance for answering!

Hey, anon!

General stuff first:

Really interesting question. Thank you for asking - you made me think.

So maybe I'm a strange case, but I think maybe other inveterate writers can relate to this. Reading was autodidactic for me at a very early age, and I read absolutely voraciously as a child - and I liked to really immerse. The bigger the book, the better. I used to actually choose books at the bookstore or library based on their thickness, because I went through them so fast.

I'm guessing you did too :)

I was allowed to read whatever I wanted, so in turn, I read everything: my PBS-loving grandmother's adult historical fiction, my mom''s espionage potboilers, my dad's Hemingway, Kesey, Bradbury and Orwell, plus his pulp detective novels, golden-age sci-fi, war classics, noir, and horror novels and anthologies; my Finnish grandmother's old stack of Barbara Cartland romances and battered copy of Gone with the Wind, all the classics from lit classes, and some of what I would call "old-school" young adult books - ones that were written across at kids by former kids, with an empathy toward a developing mind, taking the issues of childhood and adolescence seriously and intelligently, instead of thinly-veiled books about teenagers for adults who need to escape to a fictional "simpler time" in their lives and don't want to think too hard.

When I found a book that resonated with me, I would often reread it over and over, and I think that was really formative, because with each pass I was internalizing it and subconsciously analyzing what it was that made me like it so much. And also what I didn't, and thought could be done better.

Oddly, one of the book series that resonated with me intensely was L.M. Montgomery's lesser-known Emily series. This is the same author who wrote Anne of Green Gables, but she didn't personally relate to Anne. Emily, the author's true avatar, was essentially the anti-Anne; darker, more philosophical, more proto-feminist, more interested in a writing career than a family, aware of the realities of being a woman writer in her time period.

I have lost count of how many times I read that trilogy from age 12-15. And I guarantee it was the thing that made me say, "You should be a writer, too."

When I started writing fiction in earnest as an adolescent, I largely stopped reading fiction as recreation.

This isn't to say I don't read at all - I read a lot of articles, think pieces, Emerson essays, Essays from the Stoics, essays from friends. Stuff that turns my gears.

But reading takes up a tremendous amount of time, and while I know this runs contrary to every piece of advice generally served up to the public by writers - the truth is that you only have so much life in the can to write with, and the words you manage to get out during that time is all you'll ever get to say, or give to the world.

I'm actually ashamed to say I almost never read fanfiction, because I'm always busy writing what I'd most want to read.

(However, given the sad state of feedback/reciprocity in modern fandom, lately I've been making an effort to change that. I'm reading, and I'm commenting - being the change I'd like to see.)

So, with the understanding that I heavily front-loaded/kindermaxxed my lifetime of reading, and that most of my recs will be pretty classic stuff, here's some actual answers to your questions:

Favorite genres:

My absolute favorite genre is what would be called "general fiction", sometimes known as "hybrid fiction" these days. That's essentially a book that can be about any subject under the sun, including genre subjects, but is written in a more literary rather than genre style, and also is not subject to genre lengths or conventions.

(Not to be confused with 'literary', which is its own genre.)

A lot - probably most - historical fiction falls under this category, but you can also find my other favorite sub genres: noir, horror, and some types of sci-fi.

Favorite authors:

E.M. Forster - particularly A Room with a View and Maurice

L.M. Montgomery - (as mentioned above) The Emily Trilogy

Elmore Leonard - anything by

Raymond Chandler - anything by

John Bellairs - written for kids, but with dark magic, noir, horror, ripping good yarns, adult themes, and a way of drawing fascinating characters in very few strokes, while evoking the historically-mysterious atmosphere of the Great Lakes region of America during the 30s, 40s and 50s. I am partial to the Rose-Rita and Anthony Monday books, personally, and the fact that Bellairs often had Edward Gorey as an illustrator Books I liked a lot (off the top of my head) :

The Short-Timers - Gustav Hasford

In a Lonely Place - Dorothy B. Hughes (one of the forgotten female giants of noir writing, her novel about a sociopath Dix Steele is seminal)

Nightmare Alley - William Lindsay Gresham

I'm aware that most of these don't really reflect what I personally write so much as inform execution, aesthetic and prose sensibilities, but what kind of comes out in the wash is that I very much like books that are able to create a lushness of style and setting and character depth and immersive intimacy using poetic language, while still remaining extremely readable.

I will add:

What I do read is the book drafts of author friends, and actually, pretty much anybody who sends me a fanfic or any piece of writing asking for encouragement or feedback. I will read that, absolutely.

On a more personal note:

I literally just wrote a post about The Vicious Pet and the massive albatross its half-finished state is to my psyche. I had the second half all mapped out, but I've been too removed from the lore and canon to really remember or recreate what I had planned for the second half. When the MGS3 remake drops, I'm hoping a replay will reboot my brain chemistry and knock my memory back into the headspace necessary to finish it.

(I know most authors don't finish their abandoned fics, but as evidence that I am built different, I will point at the long-form MGS fic Redux, which Greekhoop and I came back and finished after literal years. We were pretty smug about it.)

Thank you so much for all your kind words and support. Nothing means more than when someone's fandom is your writing itself, and not just the fandoms you write for.

I will use your kind gift of words to write more words for you.

(By the way, somehow I missed this ask whenever you sent it, and all I can blame for that that I'm one of those old skool weirdos who went from LJ and FF.net straight to Ao3 and somehow completely missed the Tumblr revolution when it happened and even now I'm still kind of figuring out how this site works. So I'm really sorry -I hope my answer is still evergreen enough to be interesting.

Let me know if you want to beta-read my novel :)

xoxo Aunt