#Today on Dr. Phil...

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 43: Lies

Summary: Things are getting better...or are they?

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 5,029 words

Warnings: Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, a/b/o, omegaverse, angst, kissing, 'mega being a badass, angst, emotions, fluff, angst

A/N: Sorry not sorry

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“Kyle.” 

The name is whispered in the silence, floating through the air around you. There’s no response from the body wrapped around you aside from a quiet snore. You drive your elbow back into his chest, whispering his name once more. 

“Kyle.” 

He lets out a snore, jolting out of sleep suddenly as your elbow digs into his pectoral muscle. “Hm, what?” He slurs, still half asleep. 

“Kyle, I didn’t have a nightmare last night.” You say quietly, kicking the volume up to just above a whisper. 

“Mmm that’s good.” He murmurs sleepily, scooting closer to you to press his face against your shoulder blade. “Really good.” 

“No Phil this time either.” You say, excitement starting to bubble in your stomach. No nightmares, no sign of Phil haunting your mind in sleep or awake. 

Maybe Dr. Keller is right and you really are healing. 

It’s been weeks since he died, since you drove that knife into his neck. The memories of warm blood spurting onto your skin, the life leaving his eyes still has your stomach twisting with nausea, but the nightmares of his haunting presence have ceased for now. 

“It’s been a year today,” You say into the silence. “Since I joined the pack.” 

“Mhm.” Kyle hums against your shoulder, pressing his face closer against your skin. 

“So much has happened in such a short amount of time.” You muse. 

Kyle’s arm moves from around your waist, lifting up towards your face. His hand covers your mouth, cutting off the words that had been on the tip of your tongue. “‘S too early.” He murmurs. “Go back to sleep.” 

His lips brushing your skin with every word has butterflies fluttering in your stomach. It feels much like it did in the early stages of your integration into their pack, back when you had small crushes on each of them, when the relationships were new and exciting. They feel new now, the dynamics changing between all of you since that day you sat them down and set the record straight. 

“Sit down and listen.” You try to stop your voice from shaking as you stand before the four giant forms that make up the rest of your pack. Dr. Keller has gone out for the day, leaving just the five of you alone. 

You may or may not have asked her to do so.

The four of them look surprised by your authoritative tone, shocked even. They stand there dumbly, staring at you with wide eyes. 

You let out a quiet sigh. This is going to be harder than you thought it was going to be. 

“I said, sit down and listen.” You repeat, the four of them slowly sinking down onto their seats. Their eyes are still on you, still filled with surprise at this sudden change. 

You stare at them, John seated in the chair across from you, the most taken aback at this sudden shift in your attitude. Johnny and Kyle are seated to your right, both of them staring at you in surprise. Simon looks the least surprised by this outburst, yet his eyes are still softer than the hardened gaze he’s been giving you for weeks. 

You clear your throat, straightening your back as you stand before them. “We have some things to discuss as a pack.” You shift on your feet, trying to shove down those nervous butterflies in your stomach. 

This could go south fast if they wanted it to. 

“Some things about where we stand,” You continue. “How things are going to look moving forward.” You fall silent for a moment, looking at each of them. The surprise has faded, all of them focused and dialed in on you. 

You can’t help but wonder if this is how they looked during debriefs, so laser focused and in tune with what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if they’re shifting into that mindset, if they’re viewing this as a mission and not as what it should be. 

You shove those thoughts back into the recesses of your mind, steeling yourself again for the coming storm you’re about to brew.

“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.” You say, your hands tugging at your shirt nervously. “They didn’t work that way. Well, they might have worked for you, but they didn’t for me and that’s why we’re here today. To have a conversation we should have had at the start.” 

They stay sitting there, all of them scarily still as you speak. You’re not even sure they’re still breathing. You may as well be talking to a bunch of statues. You stare at John until he blinks just to be sure. 

“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were because it wasn’t fair for me. You were all kind and welcoming and you treated me well, but you weren’t supportive of me and what I needed.” You swallow the nervous lump in your throat. “I know you were trying, but it wasn’t right and I was too afraid to say anything. Omegas are supposed to be the glue that holds packs together.” You quote the book, the one you tried to keep secret from them until Simon found it. “We’re the ones doing the heavy lifting, the ones clinging to the threads of bonds for dear life. Even if I’m not involved in your bonds with each other, I’m still holding those strings. I fall, you all fall.” You clear your throat. “I think we’ve seen enough proof of that over the past couple months.” 

None of them move as you speak. You hope they already knew what you were addressing, that they already understood. You hope this isn’t news to them, that you’re not walking them through some mind-boggling discovery. 

“I’m the one holding this pack together, so I should be treated fairly.” You take a breath to steady yourself. “I know you tried before, but you weren’t...doing it right. You weren’t allowing me into the places I should have been, into the roles I’m supposed to play.” You gulp, your eyes flicking over the four of them. “I’m in charge.” 

Finally one of them moves, John shifting slightly in his seat. It’s a direct challenge to his status, to his role in the pack, and it’s coming from an omega. In hindsight, you could have worded it better, but you were too worried about losing the nerve that’s fueled you up to this moment. 

“I’m the one in charge of how these bonds develop, how they work, how they flow together, so I need to be in charge of things that might affect those bonds.” Your eyes are glued to John’s, watching his face. “I need a voice in this pack. I may not be able to point us in a direction, but I need to know what that direction is so I can understand how that direction might affect us as a pack, and if it's worth it.” 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the emotions starting to rise in you. Nerves still twist in your stomach as you continue, their lack of reactions only fueling the nerves. What are they thinking? How are they going to react? None of them have interrupted you so far, berating you for making such demands or shutting you down before you can get much further. 

They really are sitting and listening to you. 

“I know the situation made that impossible. I know it wasn’t any of your faults for the way things had to be because of the military and your jobs and all of the secrecy, but it can’t be like that anymore. I know you kept me separated and in the dark for my own safety, but...” You hold your arms out. “Look at where it got us anyway. No matter what happens next, I can’t be in the dark anymore. It’s...it’s killing me. It almost did kill me.” 

They all shift at your words. Voicing that reality has struck a chord deep within them. They’ve all thought it, but none of them have acknowledged it outright. None of them quite understand the gravity of what happened at the level you do...except perhaps Simon. He was knee deep in it with you. He’s the reason it didn’t kill you. 

“No matter what happens next, no matter what unfolds, I can’t be an outsider anymore.” Your voice has softened, your tone lowering as the nerves begin to settle. You’re losing steam, your overworked adrenal glands wearing out faster than you might have planned. “I just...I don’t want this pack to fall apart, and...I can’t do it alone. I’m not supposed to be alone. None of us are.” You shift on your feet. “So kiss and make up already because you’re driving me crazy.” 

They all let out quiet chuckles at your words, the nerves settling even more at their reactions. No screaming, no berating, no opposition. Just sitting and listening like you said. 

John leans forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. “I think we can all agree with what you said. It wasn’t fair, the way we treated you. Sure the situation was complicated, but things could have been done differently. We could have let you in more than we did.” 

“We cut ye off too much.” Johnny says. 

“You’re right.” John continues, taking you by surprise. “Alphas and omegas are supposed to work together. We all have our roles we play, and alpha and omega should be equal.” He glances around at the rest of the pack. “We shouldn’t go back to the way things were. They won’t ever be like that again, and that’s a good thing. We’ve all learned from our mistakes, mistakes that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. We’ll never truly be able to make up for them, but we can work to fix what can be repaired.” 

You stare at him for a long moment, realizing he’s waiting for your approval. It makes you feel good, proud. Your omega preens happily, some of the weight being removed from your shoulders. They’re willing to work with you, willing to bend the knee and allow you to lead them in this. 

You nod. “Good. I’m glad we could come to this agreement.” 

You feel like passing out as the tension and adrenaline starts to wear off. You plop down on the couch next to Simon, letting out a long breath.

“You okay?” Kyle asks. 

You huff out a laugh. “That was scary.” 

Kyle’s hand droops from your mouth, sliding down to rest under your chin. Butterflies still flutter in your stomach as his warm breath fans across your skin. It feels so close and intimate now after weeks of separation and distance between everyone. You know they’ve taken your words to heart, rebuilding those bonds between them. You can feel it, the strings starting to strengthen, no longer fraying and clinging on by a hair. You’re not holding the weight of the world anymore, clinging to those rapidly fraying bonds in desperation. 

The load has been eased off of your shoulders, your alpha starting to carry some of that weight for you. 

Your alpha. 

It feels almost foreign calling him that again. He hasn’t felt like your alpha in so long the bond almost feels like it’s rebuilding itself from the ground up. A new bond, a changed one from the weak one that held the two of you together before. Your fingers lift to brush over your mark. It throbs, but not in pain this time. Your fingers brush Kyle’s hand where it’s tucked under your chin as you lower them from your mark. You wrap your fingers around his hand, pulling his arm so it’s wrapped around you instead. 

“Kyle?” You whisper, but you get nothing more than a snore in return. 

***

“You seem happier.” Dr. Keller says, sitting in the chair next to you. 

“I feel happier.” You say, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You were right, about having that conversation. It’s helped a lot.” 

“I knew it would. They were trying, they just needed a bit of direction.” She takes a sip of her tea. 

“Military men.” You roll your eyes. “Can’t do anything without being told what to do first.” 

“I think that’s just all men.” Dr. Keller says. 

You laugh, a genuine laugh. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t attracted to them.” 

“I don’t blame you.” She huffs out a laugh. “That is one small mercy I was granted in this life.” 

You smile softly. “I’m happy for you.” You glance at her. “You deserve it, after everything you’ve done for me, for us.” 

“Just doing my job.” She shrugs. 

“I think you’ve gone above and beyond your job lately.” You say. “Thank you, for getting me through this.” 

“Of course. I wasn’t going to leave you floundering.” 

“Some might have.” You say, and it’s the truth. A different omega specialist might have run as soon as things went south. Dr. Keller went halfway across the globe and back to help you in a vulnerable time. She’s put in more work in the last few weeks to try and keep you alive, to try and keep your pack in one piece than she should have ever had to. 

“Then they shouldn’t be omega specialists.” She says. “Lines can get blurry in this profession, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if it means even one omega can have a chance at a good life.” 

“Consider that a success, then.” You say with a small smile. 

“Good. I’m glad you feel that way.” She squeezes your hand. “You know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” 

“I know. Maybe someday soon you’ll even be family.” You give her a knowing grin. 

“Well, I wouldn’t put too much stock in that right away.” She says, shifting in her seat. 

“You really like her.” 

“It’s hard not to.” She says. “The Garrick family might be the closest we have to angels on earth.” 

“They are just so...perfect.” You agree. 

“Some people just have it all, don’t they?” 

“Must be nice.” You muse. “I think we’re both pretty lucky though, snagging ourselves one of those angels.” 

Dr. Keller smiles at you. “I can hardly disagree.” 

It feels good to see them finally getting over themselves. Sitting closer, lingering touches, even holding hands. You did that. You forced them together to work out those barriers they put between themselves. The pack is healing because of you. 

It makes your omega preen in happiness. She’s finally settled, finally tucked back in her cage with the door shut tight. She’s content with the strong bonds beginning to reform. There’s no need for her now that the threat of danger has passed, now that your pack is beginning to come together again. That safety and security of the bonds has shoved her back into her place where she rests contently. 

Yet, despite that you still feel a bit on edge, still waiting for that shoe to drop. Sure things are getting better, but what about you? Where do you stand with all of them? It still feels like they're tiptoeing around you, like they don’t know where to start, where to jump back in. Where does that boundary lie now that things are beginning to improve? 

You’re not even quite so sure yourself. You can’t just jump back into where things were when they fell apart.  It doesn’t feel right. You’re not ready for that yet, but you can’t help the desires starting to burn in you again as those bonds repair themselves. You got far the first time, but yet no one is willing to take it that far right away. 

Not even you. 

You have to lay that barrier, mark down in the sand where that line is between where you were and where you are. How far would they push it if you left it up to them? They might never push it further with how they’re tiptoeing around you. You might get stuck in this realm of the unknown if you leave it up to them. But, how will they react if you do push it? Will they push back? Are they ready for things to move forward? Are they ready for the relationships to develop like that once more? 

A rock and a hard place. 

Maybe you should push it. Maybe you should be the one to test the boundaries this time. They’ve had their chance, and they’re not going to push it any further. You’re tired of this dance, so maybe you should take the plunge for them. 

Omegas always have to do the hard work. 

“Are you drawing me again?” 

The soft scratch of pencil on paper that has filled the quiet of the house pauses. 

“I cannae help it.” Johnny murmurs, shifting in his seat. “Yer the perfect model, kitten.” 

“Why, cause I can sit and dissociate for hours at a time?” You tease. 

“Cause yer so beautiful.” He counters. 

Your face warms at his words, not expecting such a comeback. You quickly tuck yourself further under the blanket, hiding part of your face bashfully. “Am not.” 

“Are too.” He argues playfully. “The most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on.” 

Woman, not omega. You half expected him to designate you to your status, but instead he’s surprised you once more. Your face warms at his words, yet you can’t help that tickle in the back of your mind. This is coming from somewhere.

You side-eye him, giving him a suspicious look. “What do you want?”

“What?” He asks in mock surprise. 

“You’re buttering me up for something.” You say, turning to face him. 

“I dinnae what ye mean.” He shrugs. “Can’t I just compliment my beautiful omega?” 

You give him a look. 

“I do mean it.” He says, setting his notebook on the table before joining you on the couch. He tugs you into his chest, making you nearly fall against him at the sudden movement. “Yer stunning, kitten.” 

“Alright, alright, fine.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I get it.” 

You stare up at him, tracing his jawline with your eyes. “Now what is it you want?” 

“Nothing.” He says, holding his hands up. “Swear it.” 

You hum, lifting your head up so you can stare at him. He stares back with those bright blue eyes, soft with emotion as he studies your face. You feel like you’re staring at him for the first time again, studying his features. Your finger traces the scar on his chin, the short hairs of his stubble tickling your fingers. He’s shaved recently, trimming down the sides of his hair too. They’ve all cleaned up a bit, trimming scraggly beards and long hair. At least longer than you’ve ever seen. 

You take it as a sign of the improvement in your pack. You’re no longer drowning in the depths of fraying bonds. There’s life in the pack once more. You’re back in the pack once more. 

You continue to stare at Johnny, getting lost in those sea blue eyes. Your heart starts to beat faster, pounding away in your chest. You’re worried he might be able to hear it from how hard it’s beating. There’s a slight tremble to your fingers as you slide them from his chin up to his lips. 

You really want to kiss him. 

He presses a soft kiss to your fingertips, the soft touch lingering as your hand drops away. The air in the cottage is electric, the heat of the fire suddenly unnecessary as warmth blooms under your skin. 

Take the plunge. 

You can’t stop yourself as you start to move, leaning in closer to him. 

He doesn’t move, staying freakishly still as you lean closer and closer. You press your forehead against his, your eyes fluttering closed as you linger there for a moment. His lips have parted, his warm breath fanning against your own lips. They suddenly feel chapped, your tongue darting out to wet them. A soft sound leaves his lips at the action, a long, warm breath fanning across your face. 

You close the gap between the two of you, pressing a soft, hesitant kiss to his lips. It’s short and sweet, nothing more than a test of the waters. He doesn’t pull away, he doesn’t push you off of him. Instead his arm tightens around you, his other hand lifting to cup your cheek. You take it as a good sign, kissing him again. 

He holds you tightly against him as you kiss him harder this time. Your hand slides from his jaw to the side of his neck. You can feel his pulse thrumming beneath your fingers, beating almost as fast as yours. It’s a relief more than anything, to feel him as excited about this as you are. You doubt he’d be kissing you back if he wasn’t, but it’s still a nice sign that you haven’t pushed the boundaries too far. 

He hums contently against your lips, a smile tugging at his. 

“You’re going to be insufferable after this aren’t you?” You murmur as you pull back. 

“I’ll try not to be.” He murmurs back. 

“Something tells me I shouldn’t believe you.” You lean in for another soft kiss. 

He hums against your lips, unable to stop his grin. ��First again.” 

“There we go.” You say, pulling back. 

“I promise.” He says, letting you go. 

“I still don’t believe you.” You say. 

“Probably shouldn’t.” He says, poking your nose softly. “Now go back tae the way ye were so I can finish my drawing.” 

You roll your eyes but acquiesce, adjusting your position on the couch once more. 

You know it’s coming before it happens. 

You could feel it, the shift in the air, the change in the atmosphere of the house. Something happened, something is going to happen. There’s something lingering on the precipice and it’s affecting the entire pack. They’re all on edge, all tiptoeing again. You hate it, but you can’t figure out what it is to fix it. It makes you almost feel sick with worry, your exhausted adrenal glands kicking back into high gear. You’re getting stressed and you don’t like it. 

You don’t know what it is, until you catch part of a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear. 

It’s midday and you’ve just woken from your daily nap. The sun is out for the first time in a week, though you know it’s still chilly outside. It’s shining in through the window, through the curtains you forgot to close. It’s a peaceful afternoon, or at least you thought it was. 

That’s when you hear the footsteps coming down the steps. Heavy, rushed thudding of boots. Two pairs of feet, you think, judging by the sound. Hushed voices murmur through the wall in a muffled conversation that has obviously begun upstairs. It sounds intense, something being debated or argued. 

Curiosity and that omega need to know what’s causing such a disagreement has you rising from your prone position. You kick the covers back quietly, slipping off of the mattress. You move slowly, tiptoeing across the floor until you reach the door. You’re quiet as you lean against it, pressing your ear to the wood. 

You don’t like what you’re hearing. 

It’s John and Simon, speaking hurriedly and angrily about something, something you don’t like the sounds of. You catch words here and there as they move across the living room towards the front door. A nervous twisting begins in your stomach as you stand there and listen to them, picking up a few words here and there from their conversation. Johnny and Kyle have left the house, and it’s likely they think you’re still sleeping, otherwise they wouldn’t be discussing this so out in the open. 

The conversation has stopped abruptly as the front door opens, boots storming out of the house before the door closes rather harshly. You stand there, holding your breath for a moment before footsteps turn, approaching your door. Your eyes widen as you push away from the wood, nearly leaping across the floor to dive onto the bed. You curl up in a ball, tugging the blanket over yourself seconds before the door opens. 

You have half a mind to feign sleep as footsteps approach the bed, but you know it will be useless. The stench of your nervous energy has permeated the room, the proof of your stressed state hanging heavily in the air. Emotions twist in your chest like the roiling of a stormy sea. He’d be able to tell in that way he always does, even if you could try to mask your scent. 

The side of the bed sinks as John sits down with a sigh. You lay there still for a moment before slowly rolling over onto your back. His shoulders are tense and tight, his hands closed into fists as he leans his elbows on his knees. It’s not hard to tell that the conversation ended on a negative note. Even if you hadn’t gotten up to listen in, you would have known by the slamming of the door and the tension in his body. 

He knows you listened in, but he doesn’t say anything as he sits there. Slowly you move, pushing yourself up to sit. You pull your knees into your chest, staring at the side of his face. He’s waiting for you to make the first move, to admit that you know what that argument between alphas was about. 

“You’re leaving.” Tears prick behind your eyes as you voice the summation of what you overheard from the conversation. Putting it into words has those roiling emotions stirring, rising in your chest until they threaten to choke you. 

He lets out another sigh, his gaze on the floor. “I have to do this.” 

So he really is leaving. The finality in his tone tells you there’s no convincing him otherwise. Those words tell you no matter how hard you fight, there’s no changing his mind. He’s going to do this no matter what. He’s going to leave no matter what you say, no matter how hard you try to stop him. He has to do this. He has to leave. Or, at least he thinks he does. 

Things were going so well. Things were finally starting to heal and now he’s threatening to undo them all once again. 

You can never have anything nice, can you?

“But you don’t.” You say, your voice wavering. Your heart is pounding in your chest, the threat of confrontation making your insides turn into a mushy soup. You have to try. You know it’s useless, but you have to try. At least you can tell yourself you did your best, you tried your hardest to convince him when he is gone. 

“I don’t have a choice.” He says, pushing himself upright. His eyes are hard and focused as he turns to stare at you. “I have to be sure.” 

“What about the rest of us? What about me?” You argue. “You can just up and leave when things are finally starting to heal and improve?”

“For this, yes.” He reaches for you but you flinch back. You’ll regret it later, but you don’t care about that right now. Right now, you’re too angry. 

“The job always comes first, right?” You say, staring at his hand where it lands on the bed. You sound broken and defeated. 

“This is more complex than that.” He shakes his head. 

“Is it?” You snap, holding his gaze. “Is it different? You said things would change.” 

“They will.” He tries to reassure you. “But this is something I have to do.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat, forcing down the words you want to scream at him. You want to hit him, shove him out of the room and lock the door. He promised you things would change, but then again, he’s broken promises before. He’s really willing to just up and leave in such a delicate time when bonds are being rebuilt within the pack. How little he thinks of you, of the rest of your pack. They won’t stop him either. He probably had to stop them from wanting to go too, to be there to assist him in this errand. 

Nothing has changed. It was all just empty promises from your pack. They can’t help what they are. They’ll never be able to stop doing what it is they were trained to do. Everything was a lie to placate you into healing, to stop you from severing the ties that hold you all together. 

You thought things were going to get better. 

How stupid you were. 

There’s a sour taste in your mouth as you sit there, staring hard at him. Of course he’d do this. Of course he’d break his promises. Of course he’d leave in a moment’s notice. You’re shocked he’s even told you. You’re shocked you got any warning at all. You wouldn’t put it past him to just up and leave, just like that without any warning. 

“You’re really leaving.” You whimper, your voice shaking with the emotions and the adrenaline pumping through your body. 

You don’t move your hand this time as he reaches for it, his fingers brushing over yours before curling around them. It should feel nice and grounding and reassuring, but instead it feels hollow and empty. You want to hate him, you want to get angry and scream at him, but you can’t. You can’t bring yourself to do that. Not after everything. You’re just so tired, so exhausted from fighting for this pack, for your place in it, for things to work. 

All that fighting and it was for nothing. 

“I have to.” He says, squeezing your hand. He stares down at your hands for a moment before looking back up at him. “Do you want me to come back?” 

You sit there staring at him, anger and resentment swirling inside of you like a violent storm. 

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[watcher7-9]

Jealous Dr Ratio is the best ^^ II Dr. Ratio X Researcher!reader II Not grammar checked TT II I hope it ain’t OOC

Why does their attention slip so easily from me to them. What do they have that I don’t. Dr. Ratio stared irritatedly at his lab paper before his eyes flickered back to you and the new team member that was assigned to the project. The newbie called, Phil was assigned to your team to aid you two in the experiment. At first he really didn’t mind too much, only finding it slightly irritating that it was not just you two. But things only got worse as Ratio started to notice how overconfident Phil was. A person that doesn’t respect his methods, disrupts him, and worse of all trying to flirt with you. He was baffled as you actually laugh at some of the jokes Phil had told. Almost slamming a chemistry book across the man’s head as he was turned around, but you had stopped him in time. Tugging him back as he glared at Phil with ill intent.

“Oh Dewdrop~ you glisten in the morning light, soft as a whisper, pure and bright. You-” Before Phil could finish his poem to you Ratio cut in coldly, “You do know what dewdrop is a British euphemistic for a drop a mucus on the end of someone’s nose? It’s quite rude of you to address someone as that.” Phil only blink in surprise at the interruption before starting to laugh. “Haha, I didn’t know that but-” Dr. Ratio interrupted again dismissing Phil’s words, “It’s getting late you should head back to…your quarters. We will clean up since we know this lab more than you ever would.” Biting back the last two words he not so gently shoved Phil toward the door. Dr. Ratio blocked himself in front of you as Phil tried waving you a goodbye. He closed the door to the lab before turning back to you with crossed arms across his chest. Staring at you like some angry cat that you owed an apology to.

“Is there something wrong my dear Doctor?” You laughed as he continued to glare at you. You could almost see a vein pop out of the head as you laughed at him. “Now you’re laughing at me? Didn’t do that when you were all busy howling over that newbies jokes, eh?” He shot back as you started to clean up. This didn’t seem like the calculated and cold Dr. Veritas Ratio you knew of, but this random jealousy was pretty enjoyable breaking his usual style of talking. You couldn’t help but feel a little smug over this new unlocked emotion from him. “You laughed at his jokes. I didn’t think you’ll find such halfwitted comments amusing.” He continued to ramble on as he stuck close to you and helped you put away the equipment. “I was only trying to brighten the mood. You were staring at that poor man like he was some dirt on your shoe.” You only smiled back at him as you watch him grumble.

“Poor man? Are we talking about the same person we was a disturbance to my work. Our work! Wasting precious time dwindling over some bird brained fool. And he dare question my methods and how I wanted to do things?! Who does he think he is. H-he even has the courage to smother himself all over you. He’s even worse than dirt on my shoe.” You listen to him continue to ramble over this dude, you could probably see steam from his head if you really tried. You had only seemed Ratio this expressive towards you when he was venting to you about what idiots his students were. Such pure hatred toward this person it was almost funny. After his rant he suddenly steps toward you, continuing until your back hit one of the counters. “Hm? Are you not fuming anymore, dear?” He stayed silent for a bit as he hugs you against him. His hold on you tight as his hands wrap tightly around your waist and back as if a snake trying to suffocate you in his grip. “You’re quite the eager one today. It’s usually me that initiates things out of you,” you smile as you pat his back.

Ratios head rested against your shoulder before burying into the crook of your neck. It started off as soft nuzzling before starting to get rough. Rubbing his cheek deeper into your neck as he griped you against him. You could almost feel his teeth against your neck as if a cat marking its territory. “What are you doing my dear? You are not denying those cat allegations.” You chuckled as he slowed down before muttering out. “Say anything you want. You’re still mine though. No cocky Philly cheesesteak will steal what’s mine.” He slumps himself into you more as you try to comfort the big kitty. “Alright alright, how bout we go home and continue the show we were watching? I’ll pour some tea and maybe get a few snacks out? How does that sound for you.” Ratio contemplated your offer before nodding “Alright, I guess that will work out. But I’m gonna request for him to get removed from our group. I don’t think you’ll be enough support for me if I have to juggle that idiot and my students. Besides he’ll only drag our research.”

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

June 9, 2025 (Monday)

At 10:19 last night, White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller posted on social media: “Stand with ICE. Pass the B[ig] B[eautiful] B[ill].”

And there it is. The Republicans’ “One Big, Beautiful Bill” is the MAGA regime’s attempt to replace the American government we’ve had since the 1930s with one that reflects the antidemocratic values of Project 2025. The measure is unpopular. According to a new CBS News/YouGov poll, 60% of Americans think the bill will help wealthy people, while 54% think it will hurt poor people. Forty-seven percent think it will hurt the middle class, while only 31% think it will help the middle class. As Simon Rosenberg of Hopium Chronicles noted, it’s “[s]tunning how badly Trump and the Rs have lost the debate on what their reconciliation bill will do.”

The measure changes the nature of the American government by extending tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations and adding significantly more money to immigration enforcement and defense spending. According to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, the measure will add as much as $2.4 trillion to the deficit over ten years; with interest costs of that new debt, the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget concluded the measure would increase the debt by nearly $3 trillion.

At the same time that it moves money upward and into the white nationalist project of expelling immigrants, the measure guts federal policies and agencies that serve the American people, apparently with the goal of pushing such policies and agencies to the states. The CBO estimates that as many as 13.7 million Americans will lose healthcare coverage if the measure passes, and cuts of nearly $300 billion from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program will mean cuts of about 30% to the programs on which millions of Americans depend.

Miller’s post underscores the administration’s need to change the conversation around the measure, whose 1,000-plus pages lay out the MAGA vision for the United States. “Don’t kid yourself,” Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) posted. “[T]hey know they are absolutely getting cooked politically w[ith] their terrible bill and rising prices, and they want to create a violent spectacle to feed their content machine. It’s time for the mainstream media to describe this authoritarian madness accurately.”

Maanvi Singh of The Guardian put the right lens on events in Los Angeles today, noting “Trump’s dramatic escalation” and his vow “to crush opposition to his immigration raids.” Singh identified the administration’s escalation as the trigger for “a roaring backlash.”

Singh noted federal agents carried out arrests in L.A. without judicial warrants and that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has been holding families in the basements of federal buildings, refusing them access to lawyers and family members. Agents in riot gear attacked protesters with tear gas and flash-bang grenades, turning peaceful protests into clashes.

Trump, Vice President J.D. Vance, and White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller called the protests an “insurrection,” and last night Trump activated at least 2,000 members of California’s National Guard over the protests of California governor Gavin Newsom and Los Angeles mayor Karen Bass. Just after midnight this morning, Trump posted: “Looking really bad in L.A. BRING IN THE TROOPS!!!”

Administration officials are continuing their emphasis on spectacle and performance to try to bring popular opinion back their way. CNN’s Brian Stelter reported today that television personality Dr. Phil McGraw and his camera crew were embedded with ICE during the raids.

According to Dr. Phil’s right-wing TV channel, he was there “to get a first-hand look at the targeted operations.” He also had “exclusive” access to Tom Homan, the man known as Trump’s “border czar,” and recorded interviews with him before and after the L.A. sweeps.

But that, too, is spectacle. As Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo notes, Homan and Miller are the public face of border enforcement and anti-immigrant policies. But Homan is not part of ICE. He is a White House advisor, working in a civilian capacity. And yet, as Marshall records, he has taken to showing up before the cameras “in either faux military uniforms or, in most cases, civilian garb clearly meant to appear like military-style fatigues along with a ever-changing run of camo or olive drab baseball caps.”

Trump seems happy to let these White House officials take the lead in the immigration performance. On Saturday, Homan threatened to arrest anyone who obstructed immigration enforcement, refusing to exempt L.A. mayor Bass or California governor Gavin Newsom. Newsom responded: “What the hell is this guy? Come after me, arrest me. Let’s just get it over with. Tough guy. You know? I don’t give a damn, but I care about my community. I care about this community. The hell are they doing? These guys need to grow up, they need to stop, and we need to push back, and I’m sorry to be so clear, but—that kind of bloviating is exhausting. So, Tom, arrest me. Let’s go.”

As he arrived back at the White House this morning after spending the weekend at Camp David, Trump told reporters: “I would do it if I were Tom. I think it’s great…. I think it would be a great thing. He’s done a terrible job.” Homan does not have the authority to arrest anyone. Using him to threaten to arrest a governor enables Trump to make the threat while also being able to deny that he made it.

Although members of Congress have legal authority to enter ICE detention facilities to conduct oversight, Jesus Jiménez, Chelsia Rose Marcius, and Nate Schweber of the New York Times reported that over the weekend, five members said officials barred them from doing so. New York Democratic representatives Adriano Espaillat and Nydia Velázquez say they were prevented from checking on the well-being of those detained in New York. In California, Democratic representatives Maxine Waters, Jimmy Gomez, and Norma Torres were turned away from the Metropolitan Detention Center in downtown Los Angeles.

Waters said she was trying to see David Huerta, the popular president of the Service Employees International Union California, who was injured when officers threw him to the ground and arrested him on Friday. Huerta’s arrest has mobilized union workers to protest the immigration sweeps, and today the Department of Justice announced it was charging him with felony conspiracy to impede an officer, which carries a maximum penalty of six years in federal prison. Crowds gathered in Washington, D.C., as well as in L.A. to call for Huerta’s release, and this evening he was released from custody on a $50,000 bond.

In a statement following his arrest, Huerta said: "What happened to me is not about me. This is about something much bigger. This is about how we as a community stand together and resist the injustice that’s happening. Hard-working people, and members of our family and our community, are being treated like criminals. We all collectively have to object to this madness because this is not justice. This is injustice. And we all have to stand on the right side of justice.”

Today Mayor Bass reminded protesters that “LA has a proud history of peaceful protests for immigrants rights.” She called for them to “continue that legacy—don’t fall into the Trump Administration’s trap. Protest peacefully. Looting and vandalism will not be tolerated.” She added: “Trump didn’t inherit a crisis—he created one. To those stoking the fire of lawlessness and chaos alongside him—LA will hold you accountable.” Observers today said the L.A. protests, most of which take place within a five-block radius, are overwhelmingly peaceful, characterized by Tejano music and celebrations of local culture.

This afternoon, a government official told Reuters that it is deploying about 700 Marines to Los Angeles until Wednesday. Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) said: “Here’s what you need to know about what’s going on in Los Angeles. The state and city have the means to control the protests. Donald Trump is getting involved to intentionally make the situation more violent. And potentially to create a pretext for some sort of martial law.”

David Dayen of The American Prospect posted: “The correct way to connect the authoritarian presence in LA and the Big Beautiful Bill is that the bill gives the government the resources to do this in dozens of cities at once. So if you don't like what's happening in LA, it's coming to your town if the bill passes.”

Today, California attorney general Rob Bonta and Governor Newsom sued Trump and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth for their order to federalize the California National Guard without authorization from the governor and against the wishes of local law enforcement, calling it “an inflammatory escalation unsupported by conditions on the ground.” They have asked the court to set aside the order, calling it unlawful.

In addition to being unlawful, it appears the deployment was not terribly well thought through. Matthias Gafni of the San Francisco Chronicle reported tonight that the National Guard troops sent by Trump to Los Angeles received no federal funding for food, water, fuel, equipment, or lodging. Gafni shows a photo of “wildly underprepared” troops sleeping in their clothes on a cement floor. Nonetheless, Trump called another 2,000 California National Guard troops into federal service today “to support ICE.”

Jamelle Bouie of the New York Times looked around at events and wrote: “what i see is a white house whose ambitions outstrip its resources, who did not count on facing mass resistance, and which is scrambling to escalate the situation in hopes that a display of force will make people shut up.”

This evening, Trump posted on social media a photograph of what appeared to be border patrol and ICE agents with the caption: “THE ONE, BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL Boosts Border Patrol and ICE Agents on the Frontlines with the Largest Border Security Investment in History.”

Governor Newsom said: “U.S. Marines serve a valuable purpose for this country—defending democracy. They are not political pawns. The Secretary of Defense is illegally deploying them onto American streets so Trump can have a talking point at his parade this weekend. It’s a blatant abuse of power. We will sue to stop this. The courts and Congress must act. Checks and balances are crumbling. This is a red line—and they’re crossing it. WAKE UP!”

Also tonight, about 400 people turned out in Dallas, Texas, against ICE in solidarity with Los Angeles. At about 9:40 p.m. Dallas police said the protest was an unlawful assembly. At 10:15, officers moved in with pepper spray and smoke to disperse the crowd.

A final note: While the oxygen in the country was taken up by the administration's escalations, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. today got rid of all 17 of the members of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices that advises the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Kennedy, who has taken a public stand against vaccines, told the Senate in his confirmation hearings that he would not change existing vaccine approval systems. But in an op-ed published today in the Wall Street Journal, he said “a clean sweep is needed to re-establish public confidence in vaccine science.”

Laura Unger and Amanda Seitz of the Associated Press report that Kennedy intends to replace the fired committee members with his own picks.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[isa-ghost]

Godspeed to anyone who's gonna watch Tubbo talk to Dr*m today, he's going live at the same time as Phil so I'm not.

And I'm tired of listening to that green fuck twist the narrative and fail to make himself look better, so if anything I'm vod watching. Realistically I'm getting my info via liveblogs.

o7 brave soliders

[star-anise]

Do you ever learn something about someone you already disliked and go "Oh of fucking COURSE they would do that"?

Today I learned that Dr. Phil from TV's surprisingly real Ph. D thesis (in clinical psychology, even!) was on a psychological intervention for rheumatoid arthritis. All his participants were women.

Of fucking COURSE he did a "think the pain away" program. Ooof COURSE.

(People with chronic pain need psychological help that includes finding ways to live with pain and develop positive mindsets, especially because the subjective stress of being in pain can feed back into physical wellness in a nasty loop. But ever since Freud, doctors have loved to assume that the MAJORITY of cases with pain they can't easily diagnose or treat are actually psychosomatic, so we wouldn't be in pain so much if we weren't, to risk using some technical jargon, melodramatic hysterical pissbabies about it. So psych interventions for chronic pain tend to focus on making people complain less far more often than it's about solving the actual problems people with chronic pain frequently face.)

I just feel like wow. Yeah. That's absolutely the kind of Ph. D thesis someone like Dr Phil would write.

[ashleymilesphil]

🌍 What Would You Do If Being Yourself Meant Facing Death or Life Imprisonment? 🏳️‍🌈

Right now, LGBTQ individuals in East Africa are living under the shadow of the Anti-Homosexuality Act of 2023 a cruel law that criminalizes being gay with punishments as severe as life imprisonment or death.

As a leader and a representative for the LGBTQ refugees in East Africa , im dedicated to being a lifeline for those in danger. I want to provide safety, resources, and hope to those most at risk. This weekend, in the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., we ask you to join us in standing for justice and love. Together, we can make a difference.

💡 $10 provides a warm meal for a hungry person.

💡 $25 can feed 3 people for an entire day.

💡 $200 helps us purchase a large shelter tent for 15 people, offering them a safe space to sleep and live.

❤️ Your support can save lives. Donate today to our fundraiser:

https://gofund.me/4d80b32c

Dr. King once said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Let’s honor his legacy by standing with those who need us most.

PayPal : lwerephillip@gmail.com

🙏 With gratitude,

Ashley🏳️‍⚧️

[hotvintagepoll]

Conrad Veidt (The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, The Man Who Laughs)— oh my god look at him in Caligari. I specifically said that he's from this because him as Cesare is just. MMMMM. he's so wet and sad and scrungly. and little. he's like a kitten left alone in a dark alley except he's also killed people (not his fault). something wrong with him (Cesare). as for Conrad himself. oh my god look at him... them big ole eyes and the walk of some fucking thing creature

Phil Silvers (Summer Stock)—this man has the single most expressive face in all of golden age hollywood (okay maybe second only to Donald O'Connor) and he is such a Perfect counterpart to Gene Kelly in Summer Stock. like, little baby queer lady me had such a soft spot for the funky little comic relief guys and he's the king of them all! his verse in "Dig For Your Dinner" [link] makes me laugh uncontrollably and every time i watch it, my brain plays "YOU GOTTA SEE YOUR DENTIST TWICE A YEAR" on loop for a solid week afterwards

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Conrad Veidt:

I mean just look at him. The wet cat energy. The ghostly eyes. He did the monster mash before anybody. Where would we be today without him, he even has one (1) song on spotify. I regularly forget he's dead and wonder what his next movie will be. He slays in any role. The Ultimate Skrunkle.

He's the ultimate scrungly to me, the basis for many of our scrungly guys today. he's so skinny and pale and he wears so much eye makeup

He was THE bisexual goth tumblr sexyman of early film. Seriously the old timey Tumblrinas would send him fanmail about wanting him to choke them. He inspired the designs for the Joker and Jafar,and was nicknamed the “Demon of the Silver Screen” for his horror roles. His first wife divorced him for crossdressing. Hitler sent him hate mail for speaking out about antisemitism. He really loved his wife and told the Germans to go fuck themselves when they threatened his job if he didn’t divorce her for being Jewish. Just look at me and tell me this guy isn’t scrungly he’s like a personification of the emo kid from Horton hears a who

[cw the below clip depicts assault/abduction and could be scary for some viewers]

Phil Silvers:

"it's hard to hold the screen against don knotts, but phil manages."

[woso-dreamzzz]

*Klumpig pretending to be a talk show host introducing their guests, but it’s her small side team*

Klumpig: Welcome back to, Barca Training, I’m your host, Klumpig. With me today are my guests! First we have, ‘The Woman Who’s Shoes Never Fit Properly’, Hermana!

Hermana: My sister and her wife give me hand me downs!!

Klumpig: Next, we have ‘The Woman Who Fainted When She Met Our Captain’, it’s Cielo!!

Cielo: Yup! I did do that!

Klumpig: Next, we have ‘The Woman Who Only Ever Wears Hats’, it’s Mignon!

Mignon: Bad Hair day!

Klumpig: Next to Mignon, we have, ‘The Woman Who Won’t Stop Calling Me’, it’s Mcdreamy! !

Mcdreamy: Just pick up! It’ll take five seconds!!!!

Klumpig: Finally, it’s ‘The Person I Can’t Stop Calling’, it’s Tontos!!

Tontos: We know, you’re in love with me!

Alexia: *from the other side of the field with her team* Quit! You’re not Dr. Phil, you’re holding up the game!

- 🦈

And you know Klumpig does it absolutely every time so the other team has to wait around for ages for Klumpig to go through it all each and every time

[deadpresidents]

Eazy-E and the President

Exactly 30 years ago today, on March 26, 1995, rapper Eric "Eazy-E" Wright died, about a month after checking himself into Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and finding out that he was suffering from AIDS, not asthma as he had suspected. Eazy-E became a hip-hop legend after bursting out of Compton as the leader of the revolutionary group N.W.A., alongside Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, DJ Yella, and MC Ren. The controversy stemming from N.W.A.'s gangsta rap classics such as "Fuck Tha Police," "Gangsta Gangsta," and "Straight Outta Compton" led to the FBI actually sending a letter to Ruthless Records in 1989 condemning the content of N.W.A.'s music because they felt it encouraged violence against law enforcement.

So, what's that have to do with Presidents?

After a $2,490 donation to the Republican Party, GOP heavyweights Bob Dole and Phil Gramm invited Eazy-E to the National Republican Senatorial Committee Inner Circle's "Salute to the Commander-in-Chief" luncheon on March 18, 1991 at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C. Senate Minority Leader Dole sent the gangsta rapper and former drug-dealer the invitation himself on February 8th, writing, "Elizabeth and I are looking forward to seeing you in Washington on March 18."

Rocking a black leather suit topped off by his trademark Los Angeles Raiders hat, Eazy-E (accompanied by his controversial manager/business partner Jerry Heller) headed to the nation's capital and enjoyed lunch with some of the Republican Party's top brass -- people like Dole, Senator Gramm of Texas, GOP celebrity supporter (and future California Governor) Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Secretary of State George Shultz, and Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton -- as well as a speech by President George H.W. Bush. While the voice behind "Boyz-N-The-Hood" didn't get a chance to actually meet President Bush, Eazy-E made it clear that he was a fan and was even disappointed that Bush didn't speak longer. Although he once famously rapped, "Don't quote me, boy, cuz I ain't said shit" in "Boyz-N-The-Hood," Eazy-E's spokesperson later said that the rapper, "Loves the President. He thinks he's a great humanitarian and that he did a great job with Desert Storm."

That might seem like something that would take away Eazy-E's street cred. Ice Cube certainly thought so, as he made clear after leaving N.W.A. with his scathing diss song, "No Vaseline", where Cube repeated "I never had dinner with the President!" and accused N.W.A. of ditching Compton ("Yellin' Compton, but you moved to Riverside!").

But maybe Eazy-E and George H.W. Bush had far more in common than most people would imagine.

See, Eazy-E and Dr. Dre aren't the only people to come "Straight Outta Compton." In 1949, George Herbert Walker Bush and his family (including another future President, George W. Bush) lived in the Santa Fe Gardens apartment complex in the heart of, yes, Compton, California. The second child of George and Barbara Bush, Robin, who tragically died of leukemia at the age of 4, was born in Compton. So, while Compton was a far different place in that era, two Presidents of the United States -- at least briefly -- represented "the CPT". And, as the photo at the end of this post demonstrates, young George W. Bush even rode around strapped -- more cowboy than gangsta, not surprisingly -- as many young people have long been in Compton and South Central Los Angeles.

[cuttergauthier]

New Leaf | One

Au Summary: In which a hockey sister falls for her enemy who also happens to be her brother's new teammate.  Yn Matthews and Matthew Knies never got along, what happens when Matthew becomes a Maple Leaf.

Matthew Knies x Matthews au

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN

Social Media | Real Life

National Hockey League | Toronto Maple Leaf

Word Count: 1.3k 

Au's Masterlist

Warning: This Story will contain Mature Language, Alcohol consumption, Against, fluff, Time jumps

I’ve been living in Toronto for the past two years. I’m a sophomore at the University of Toronto.

My older brother Auston plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs. When he first moved to Toronto, I missed him a lot so I decided to apply to Toronto. When I got excepted Auston was excited to be close to me again. Even though he’s 5 years older than me I’ve always been closer to him.

My first year here I lived in a dorm room, this year I wanted to live on my own so my brother helped me find an apartment where I could afford on my own even though he argued about it, I never want to have to depend on my brother for his money, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t care, but when I told him I wanted to pay for my own place he agree after about a month as long the apartment was in a safe neighbourhood.

This morning my brother called me after I got out of class to ask if I wanted to go watch their practice. I had nothing to do so I said yes.

The guys have been like my brothers since the moment I met them all, they always have my back. Auston said that Steph was going to be there, she’s Mitch’s Fiancé, she is the wag who I’ve always been the closest with since the day I met her, she became like an older sister to me. I tell her everything, if I ever need advice, she’s the one I talk to.

I took an uber to the arena since Steph and I always go out for coffee after we do this. I finally arrived at the arena and made my way to the stands to meet Steph.

When she saw me she smiled, she pulled me in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you, I miss you” she said, I chuckled.

“You literally saw me two days ago” I said

“I know but I still missed you”

“I missed you to”

We sat down and started talking, the guys aren’t on the ice yet.

“You’re going to see the new rookie today,” she said smiling.

“New rookie?” I asked confused

“Yeah, his college season just ended so the leafs signed him”

“Oh nice”

“According to Mitch, he’s really good and he’s your age,” she said, smirking.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“well you are single”

“Oh shut up” I said laughing.

“He’s number 23” she said as the boys started to get on the ice.

I looked up and saw who she was talking about, he looks familiar.

“What’s his name?”

“Um I think Mitch said Matt Knies” she said

I whipped my head around and looked at her with wide eyes.

“WHAT!?” I whispered.

Her eyes widened.

“Yeah, why?”

“Because I know him, why did the leafs have to sign him?” I sighed.

“What’s wrong with him? according to Mitch he’s really good.”

“I know he is… he’s from Arizona, we have the same friends back home, we went to the same high school but we never got along.”

“Omg really? Does your brother know about this?” she asked

“He might I don’t know, I never mentioned him before, really i’m closer with the doan’s and knies’ brother Phil”

“Well maybe it’s a sign for you guys to finally get along since you’re both in the same city again” she said smiling.

“I hope because if not, being in Toronto is going to feel like hell”

“It will be fine, don’t worry, and I’m sure if he says or does something, your brother and the guys will have your back” she said smiling. I gave her a soft smile.

We continued watching practice, once it was over the guys started making there way off the ice, Mich, Auston and matthew are standing by the bench talking. Mitch turned our way and waved happily, he might be 26 but he acts like a kid sometimes. Steph and I waved back chuckling. Both Auston and Matthew looked our way, Matthew looked straight at me shocked, his jaw dropped. He regained his composure before my brother or Mitch noticed.

Once they got off the ice, Steph looked at me smirking.

“What?”

“He definitely noticed you” she said, chuckling.

“Shut up” I scoffed.

We made our way out of the arena and to Steph’s car. Steph started Driver to (Your Favorite coffee place). Once we got there we both ordered our coffees and sat down at a table closest to the window.

Steph looked at me and smiled.

“What now?” i asked chuckling.

“What is it between you and Matthew that you don’t get along?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. We’ve been going to the same school since we were kids, we both had the same friends like I said, I was close with Gracie Doan while her brother was close with Matthew, as we grew up, we all became like a group all of us along with Matthew’s older brother. He’s just been a jerk to me since middle school, it never changed” I told her honestly.

“Have you ever thought that maybe he has a crush on you? I mean that’s usually what kids do when they have a crush” she said.

I scoffed.

“There’s no way Matthew ever had a crush on me.”

“You never know Yn, what about you, have you ever had a crush on him?” she asked curiously. I laughed.

“Obviously, i’m not blind, he's good looking steph” i said smiling, too bad he’s a jerk when it comes to me. Steph smiled before taking a drink of her coffee.

“Well, let’s hope something good comes from him being in toronto and being your brother’s teammate.” she said

“Same but i doubt it’ll end with us getting together steph”

“Never say never Yn” she said smirking. I shock my head in disbelief.

“Yeah, yeah whatever” i said and she laughed.

“Moving on, how are your classes? Are you almost done?” she asked

“Yeah, i only have one exam left then year 2 will be over” i said smiling.

“I’m glad”

Steph dropped me off at my apartment. It’s now noon, I took my school stuff out of my bag so I could study a little for my exam.

I studied for about an hour before taking a break. I went on my phone and texted Phil, Matthew’s brother, he’s one of my closest friends.

Yn: Why couldn’t you have warned me that your brother signed?!?!

Phil: Thought it would be a good surprise 🤪

Yn: I hate you so much right now!

Phil: No you don’t!

Phil: Did you see him?

Yn: Yes! I went to watch practice earlier with Steph, she’s the one who told me, then I saw him!

Phil: Sorry Yn :/ Did he see you?

Yn: Yes and he was shocked!

Phil: You two are going to have to get a long sometime!

Yn: You know damn well that won’t happen anytime soon!

Phil: Let me dream!

Yn: 😂

Phil: I’ll see you in a few days, we're coming down to Toronto For his NHL debut! (Pretend His debut was in Toronto)

Yn: At least i get to see you and your parents!

[katsona-the-katsequel]

(Apologies for the awkwardness) I remember a AU with the Wildcards that I was curious about your take on it. From what I remember, it’s been awhile, this AU is a type of Velvet Room AU. Where the Wildcards are meant to replace the servants of Philemon who resided in the room, including Igor, Nameless, Belladonna, and Demon Painter. I cannot remember who they placed with who I think Yu was Igor. (I admit I don’t know much about Persona before Persona 4 and some of Persona 3, so I didn’t know who the others were, only Igor) I was curious on your take if you don’t mind.

I know the AU you're talking about!

Strap in, bois, this is going to get long.

First, we need to establish who's replacing who. Newsona is easy: just swap the assistant with the guest. Bada-bim, bada-bam. It was Oldsona that caused some trouble. Also, do I want Igor to go first because of seniority or go in order of the swapped story that makes the most sense for him? In the end, I went for this order:

Igor -> Aigis (only it was moved first in this AU)

Demon Painter -> Naoya

Nameless -> Tatsuya

Belladonna -> Maya

Elizabeth/Theodore -> Minato/Kotone

Margaret -> Yu

Lavenza -> Akira

Maybe there's a Jose and Akechi swap? Or maybe with Morgana? Not sure about that one yet. The thing about Nameless and Belladonna is that they don't share much about themselves, but since they're a package deal, I swapped them with the other package deal here.

I could have swapped Phil with someone but he's an important Jenga piece that I can't move. If I did, it would be one of three: Tamaki, Tatsuya or Jun (maybe an AU where Phil and Nyarly swap with Tatsuya and Jun? But today is for the assistants only). For now, let's stick to only the main protags.

Also, to have some extra fun imagine that instead of Frankenstein-inspired names the attendants now have Dracula-inspired names. Y'know, cause they were changed into something else for the sake of this AU. For the sake of simplicity I'm going to keep calling them by their normal, Japanese names, tho.

Igor & Aigis

I don't even have to create an arc here. They're both man(?)-made beings created to serve a specific purpose who have questioned their humanity. Even Igor made a reference to it! Maybe this AU would feature Igor's creator more, and though Phil is the one who gave him life, we cannot forget about the theory that it was Dr. Victor who created him. Not the Frankenstein book version, the SMT version whose immortal. I'm going with that.

Igor's arc would replace Tamaki's adventure in SMT: if..., which would give me an excuse to add Dr. Victor in the first place. And what would you know? Aigis has a Plume of Dusk, which gives her a deeper connection with the CU and would allow Phil to teach her the deep primordial magicks or whatever it is he uses.

As I mentioned before, the "human or machine" arc is mostly the same, only less friendship and more Lovecraftian. It has to be to be this early in the timeline.

Demon Painter & Naoya

Just imagine the Demon Painter has a proper human name, ok?

I believe Kazuma Kaneko's stand-in deserves to become the First Proper Persona Protag in this AU. The funny thing about him is that, unlike the other attendants, he's 100% human. He just wanted to paint the Arcana! And after that he leaves! So Naoya gets to stay as a human too.

In this AU the Demon Painter left Sumaru for Mikage-cho to try to escape an artist's block. There, he became Maki's art tutor, being willing to teach her even while she's in the hospital. He's very dedicated to his craft. The Demon Painter would be in the hospital when the earthquake strikes, running into the St. Hermelin kids who'd gone to check on Maki, and the plot would start.

Maybe Naoya would incorporate some arcade dynamics during the copying of the cards? Imagine getting into the Velvet Room and there's a guy playing Street Fighters in the corner, lol. He leaves after getting the perfect score.

Nameless & Tatsuya / Belladonna & Maya

I'm putting this two together.

I know its redundant, but I have no way of fitting Nameless and Belladonna into the plot unless they were Lisa, Michel and Jun's teachers. Belladonna can play mom, that's fine.

Attendant!Tatsuya doesn't have an arm here. It was replaced by a golden version Hand of Midas style. In turn, Nyarlathotep's brand covers Nameless eyes, affecting his perception instead of his actions.

Belladonna would go through trial after trial of people and higher beings trying to silence her for some prophecy. Maybe Maya's pep talks could translate as inspiring poems in the Velvet Room? Maybe??? Tatsuya still plays the guitar, though not an electric one.

I almost forgot to mention, but the Demon Painter, Nameless and Belladonna would have different Arcanas than Naoya, Tatsuya and Maya. I would need to write their arcs to figure out what they would be since they have so little personality, but they would definitely be different.

Elizabeth/Theodore & Minato/Kotone

Now that Aigis is the Igor stand-in, she can play favorites with her attendants and allow Minato AND Kotone to get away with anything. That's right. This AU means they get to exist at the same time. Hooray!

Bad news, Elizabeth/Theodore is an orphan. Igor would also return, having been recruited by the Kirijo Group due to his knowledge of the supernatural. Now that I think about it, Elizabeth/Theodore would have been teenagers when the Moonlight Bridge Incident happened, so they would remember more of it. Maybe that would explain Elizabeth's weirdness and Theodore's more meek personality in this AU. Hard to be normal when you remember having something-that-feels-dead inside you.

And yes, this means Igor fought Ryoji. It was a less physical and more magical fight.

Margaret & Yu

Margaret looks adult-age. She would have moved to Inaba out of her own volition. Here, she's Dojima's estranged sister. Think of it like the city-girl protagonist of a Hallmark movie, only instead of a small town lover and the miracle of Christmas she finds some gay kids and a murder mystery. These things happen. She is now the mom-friend who sometimes doubles as the wine-aunt.

At least Yu gets to ride the limo full-time.

Lavenza & Akira

Lavenza's story would steer more towards child rebellion. All about the helplesness of children about the injustices around them. Actually, kind of like Matilda.

I'm loosing steam and can't think about how Akira would be split in this AU by Yaldy, so we'll leave it here.

[dizznpizz]

My thoughts on the show: SPOILERS BELOW

As someone who has never been to one of their tours before IT WAS SO SURREAL TO SEE THEM IN PERSON OH MY GOD

Lots of Canada jokes!!

I went into this having allll the spoilers and I was still not prepared for the dolls humping 😭😭

Conspiracies were Toilets, Fake, Tour Bus, and Vegas - even tho we knew all the conspiracies already, I was so excited to see the Vegas video im so glad we picked that one!!

For role model or nole model, we voted to kill both real Dan and real Phil 😂😂 Laywer Dan banned Americans, wrote erotica about the Canucks and was arrested for weed 😭 Dr Phil of course helped old ladies cum again, his favourite word was aboot, and had a collection of furries lol

For the boxing match, I dunno if they toned it down, people hyped it up too much or I just saw enough spoilers to be desensitized but it didn’t seem that crazy to me?? 😂 like it was hilarious and captivating to watch but I wasn’t like oh that’s a lot? 😂

In the part where they run out of the theatre and back in, I was like two seats from the aisle though and they ran right past me!! I didn’t get m&g so it was exciting to see them up close!

Their one minute talking thing today was about Moose lol which led to Phil saying “what’s a mooseknuckle?” Aaaand that’s where Dan cut him off 😂

THE NUN omg Dan was Sooo extra careful to not flash anyone 😭😭😭 Also it was definitely because I was a bit further back so couldn’t see it super well but it fr looks like he was not wearing any underwear 😂😂😂 guessing he wore nude coloured tonight lol?

My confession didn’t get read sadly but the ones that were were sooo funny - someone submitted a phanfiction for a school assignment 😭 Phil also sprayed Dan with the holy water a bunch hahaha

The deep chats were good, made feel sad for them but also really happy for our phandom to be in the place it’s at today and I’m so glad they stuck it out with us 🫶🏻

THE SONG WAS SO GOOD it’s literally still stuck in my head 😂😂

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RIGHT NOW im rly tired and going to bed but I’ll post more as it comes to mind 🫶🏻

[mischiefmaker615]

Use Me (Loki Love Story) Ch.19

Summary: Loki shows up at your brothel with an offer. What could go wrong?

Requested song inspiration: Use Me by Johnny Blue Skies & Dove Cameron & Diplo

A year..

A year was all it took to get to where you were today.. and you still couldn’t believe you made it..

Midgard was truly different that you expected. Much of the books on Asgard didn’t quite cover the details of how hard life here would be. People were cruel, disgusting.. perverted. Everything you needed, you had to figure out on your own. Fight and work. As a woman, you looked quickly just how different the world saw you. Yet that never stopped you from doing what you intended on doing.

Starting a new life.

Through the hardships, it was still the perfect distraction that you needed to try to forget your past. To forget Loki.. and on those quiet nights, you’d cry again.

You found quickly that Midgardians weren’t stupid when it came to the outside world of their own realm, you supposed it was thanks to Thor for introducing them to the capabilities and possibilities. You didn’t dare tell people you were Asgardian though, you knew it would have to be a secret in order to keep your old home safe.

Familiarity was a welcome though and you stumbled upon a group called SHIELD whom recognized how much stronger you were compared to the average female of their planet. Stopping a group called Hydra had been the perfect introduction one day when you jumped into combat when one of the SHIELD agents was about to be shot at.

The rest was history you supposed, and they offered a position in which you literally couldn’t refuse. They had the tesseract, one of the realm’s powerful infinity stones and although you portrayed a mortal, you knew you had to keep an eye on it for Asgard’s sake. So you worked for them now, SHIELD, keeping a close eye on the blue orb and told yourself to do what was necessary if they decided to take advantage of its power.

It would seem they were just trying to study it, and by the way it sparked, told you enough that you all were in potential danger. Especially already finding yourself deep underground at home base and you suddenly felt the sudden urge of claustrophobia with how much energy you could feel radiating in the room. It made your skin tight uniform feel tighter than it actually was.

You stayed behind some of the computers in the back of the room while the other agents monitored its activity. Dr Selvig, one of the mortals who had helped Thor, scared you with how much he knew about the outside world. You never found it impressive, you always assumed everything was a potential threat and hated yourself sometimes by pretending to be friends with these people.

Quite frankly, you could care less if it wasn’t for the benefit of keeping an eye on things.. except Phil..

Phil almost was like a father to you, took you in and recognized your talents of knowledge and strength, though you were sure he hadn’t figured you out as an Asgardian. You preferred it that was and would cause small slip ups just to keep him off your trail before you would turn your attention back to more important matters.

Right now he was on the higher levels, preparing for possible evacuation the more people messed with the tesseract. At least they had put it in some sort of contraption rather than touch the bloody thing directly. Flinching again, it sparked more and raised the attention of Director Fury who joined Erik’s side to see what was going on.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, knowing exactly what was going on but speaking up would cause to much suspicion. ‘you’re messing with forces beyond you, angering It to the point where digging it up might turn out to be a regret’ was what you thought while you glanced at the computers again. You weren’t to tech savvy- to be honest, you were here normally just for backup, undercover but truly the muscle of the operation encase it was needed.

Except Baron.

His skills as a mortal truly impressed you to the point where you questioned if he was a mortal at all. you glanced behind your shoulder while conversations were being held, seeing how he was making his way down from practically the rafters.

‘’got bored up there?” you teased, earning a chuckle while he glanced at you.

‘’figured there was more action happening over here, I’d hate the miss it.’’

You couldn’t help but smile with the friendly banter between you both before he moved to join the head haunches in front. If Clint was calm, you normally knew things were okay.

But you’ve been wrong before.

The tesseract seemed to spark more, drawing everyone’s attention to it while some took careful steps back. Your brows furrowed, feeling it’s energy practically screaming while you tried to figure out what was happening. In all your years, you’ve never seen an infinity stone this active before while no one had been touching it..

‘’sir- I think you might want to take a step-‘’

You nearly jumped out of your skin while suddenly the tesseract spat out a beam towards the opposite side of the room- thankfully not facing all of you. Your eyes widened, following your own advice by taking a step back while your body seemed to be in awe at the sight you had never seen before. The orb seemed to be spreading out amongst the platform, taking a ‘O’ shape while you squinted to try to figure out what it was.

Space..

Your eyes widened with recognition, having been so long since you’ve seen the galactic sky, you almost found yourself stepping towards it while your lips parted with no words. There was almost a familiar feeling that washed over you, something you had hoped to have forgotten but it forced it over your mind and body. Home.. Asgard.. although you couldn’t see beyond the darkness and stars that provided its light amongst its distant colors, there was something now taking shape just onto the platform.

Before you could try to recognize it, the portal suddenly shut with a forceful snap, causing all of you to turn or raise an arm instinctually to shield yourself from its waves of energy that faded off amongst the room. Your eyes quickly moved to the tesseract, body relaxing to find it safe and quiet while the computers made quiet sounds to indicating they were rebooting up.

There was a figure left on the platform, ice and smoke from it’s body warming up, making him seem like he had just stepped out of the fridge. The mental image was almost fully if the stranger hadn’t begun rising from its kneeling position. The movements of the other agents made you instinctually place a hand on your gun by your side while you leaned forward to make out what you were seeing.

No.. oh gods.. it’s impossible..

You slowly moved yourself behind the computer, heart racing while you felt like you couldn’t breath. This was impossible.. there was no way that was who you thought it was.. you stayed out of sight, your fingers gripping the edge of the computer table on rollers while you shook and tried to concentrate on your breathing.

‘’sir- please, put down the spear..’’

Fury’s voice rang out and your body tensed. Loki was armed.. these people weren’t a threat as long as you cooperated- however he got here, he must be so confused.. your eyes widened and felt your body come to life again. You knew you couldn’t let Loki hurt these people out of instinct, very little times did any Asgardian ever venture out on Midgard, let alone with a weapon so if he did so happen to have a spear, it would raise danger.

Taking a small step out from behind the computer, your hand rested on your own weapon while you drew in a breath ‘’don’t-‘’

Suddenly Loki moved fast and sent a blast in your general direction, causing you to quickly dive towards the nearest agent and take cover before all Hel went loose. You used your hands to cover your ears when the sounds of gun shots, screams and crashing all around filled the room. You army crawled it towards one of your comrades, heart pounding against the floor while you stayed on your bells and reached over, checking for a pulse.

He’s still alive..

Tensing your body, you focused your eyes and drew your gun, getting to your feet before you took aim, eyes searching for Loki with shaky hands. Suddenly a man’s body got flung at you, making you get thrown backwards as well so you both hit the wall, your head taking on most of the impact.

You yelped, sliding down with the maybe dead man across your lap on the floor. Your vison blurred, silence filing the room while you blinked to try to clear your vision. Your head throbbed, making you reach a hand to apply pressure while you winced and tried to stir. There was muffled sounds, blurry shapes of movement while the color blue seemed to dance in spots before you.

Fuck..

You slowly blinked, feeling the gun slip limp from your hands before your eyes closed and slumped down where you were. You were slipping out of unconsciousness, hearing whispers and deep, muffled sounds, much like when a grenade goes off in movies. You felt a cold hand rest at your chin, turning your face up in a gentle grip while your eyes remained closed and your body began to abandon you.

The weight of the man on you was quickly removed and the hand at your chin vanished, making your head fall back to your side where it promised a kink later.

‘’bring her..’’

Note: TBH i was debating on ending this book at the previous chapter LOL but i promised a happy ending. I'm not to keen on following movies such as this chapter, hope it wasn't to boring for you- it was just something to bring the characters back together so we can continue their relationship LOL plot now can get started!

Tag List: @comehomecomehometous @trash-panda-kitty @kuroturo @lovinglimerence @kathren1sky-blog @soulpiercing @ildflue-17 @navs-bhat @ririsasaki @allbymyself17 @howl-and-midna-smeltser @blackquartzsstuff @xanax-orig @maleficmilk @kimvolturicullen

[mammalsofaction]

I Hurt You

Rating: G

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirt/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: Human Perry, mute Perry, POV Outsider, possibly a sister fic of When We Didn't Get Along, whipped this up real quick before I go back to actual productivity.

A/N: Inspired by the ask sent to Liz here

---

Chamy shushes everyone in the bullpan pantry so loudly it throws spittle in James' face, making him quickly twist his body with a hand over the his cup of coffee to keep it from contaminants. He kicks Chamy in the ankle to retaliate, but they ignore him easily, already distracted by the screen.

He doesn't know why they think they needed to do that; the chatter falls into a deathly silence when the gentle whoosh of Dr Feelbetter's post opening credits flashcards whirl on-screen, which is impressive, considering the sheer volume of bodies a 6 by 9 ft room could ever hope to comfortably contain. But OWCA work PCs were monitored, and there was no hope in recording Dr Feelbetter's Specials on the Evil Channel without your device somehow blowing into pieces anyway. The only way to catch today's episode was to watch it live, and there was not a single gossip hungry soul in OWCA that would dare to miss it.

The camera pans to Agent Panda, hefting an armchair over his head, and James' eyebrows creep up his forehead, wondering if the drama happened in studio before the cameras could catch it. The audience would never forgive him.

But then Agent Panda throws the couch into a messy stack in the corner of studio, and the camera catches someone in the crowd swooning. Ah, comic relief. Someone in the pantry, James thinks it's Sergei, snorts loudly.

"Thank you, Agent Peter the Panda, I've been meaning to stack those chairs." Phil says, to which the agent bows sarcastically. The camera pans back into the studio set, and James is sure they weren't going to see Peter again. "Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz, it's time."

The statement is almost somber, the lights of studio turned down low. The camera switches focus, back onto the men of the hour, and Jesus, fuck, James doesn't think he'll ever get over how agent Platypus looks like.

He's looking, there was simply no way around it, absolutely horrible. With the unmade hair and red-rimmed eyes, the unshaven stubble, and darting eyes. Hunched shoulders and chapped lips. Not fidgeting, though, and his suit—sans Blazer and tie--was nothing short of crisp and pristine, but it is a pocky sheen of dignity. It's…startling. Disconcerting.

Perry was the best of them. He always had been; the kind of hero-eque idol you'd count yourself lucky to meet, much less work with on a daily basis. He had a spleen of steel and the aura of giants, despite his less-than-impressive stature. Perry had the family, the respect, the reputation and the skills to back it up. Christ, Perry the Platypus had it all. The freshies talk about him like he's a God among men, and Perry even had the envy of haters who can't even pretend he isn't worth the hype when they look him in the eye. And to see him so reduced, and for…what? Some hacky evil scientist Francis keeps insisting wasn't worth the audio recorders they planted all around his laboratory is…

James sips his coffee, internally disturbed. Just who was Heinz Doofenshmirtz? What makes him so special?

"Tell Perry the Platypus how you feel." Feelbetter suggests, and James watches as Perry rubs his lips with the tip of his finger, the hollow look in his eyes.

"Perry the Platypus, I'm," Heinz starts, and stops, and starts again. His voice sputters, and his fingers twist, but his gaze-on Perry-they do not waver, and Perry seems to smile despite himself. "I'm sorry, I really am. Perry, I am so so sorry. I'm sorry that I-I hurt you, when I wasn't trying to hurt you."

Heinz's eyes, blue and watery, there was no mistaking the apology, the watery sincerity. When he gets on one knee by Perry's feet, James could've sworn he hears Chamy quietly sniffle. The songtrack, instrumental, slow and sentimental, is subtle—but it plays out the scene of the studio in perfect harmony. They're really milking this for all it's worth.

"I swear," Heinz continues. "If you give me one more chance, I promise to only hurt you in the right way. With cartoonish physical violence, and elaborate traps constructed out of strange things I purchased over the internet."

The humor is half-hearted, but Perry (along with some of the in-studio crowd, and the pantry itself) finds themselves chuckling anyway, despite the mood of the hour. Perry buried his face in his hands, the crooked upwards curl of his lips unmistakeable, but so was the sniffle (crackling over the mic), the fresh tears trailing down his cheeks.

There is a collective gasp in the pantry, and James hides his gawping behind the rim of his coffee cup. Behind him, Agent Beatrice the Bee lets out a sympathetic coo, and he hears someone go, "What the hell?" James can relate; he couldn't have brought himself to imagine in a hundred years he'd ever see Agent Perry the Platypus, the best agent of OWCA, brought to tears. He didn't think that was physically possible.

The studio had also been brought to sympathetic cries, but Heinz isn't paying attention to any of them. He was crying too, reaching out, and Perry clasps both Heinz's outstretched hands in his own, still attempting to muffle loss in composure. It's a beautifully heartfelt moment. He's sure Feelbetter's going to want to keep this one in the books.

"What do you say?" Heinz asks, like a vow. Christ. Feelbetter squirrels in by the edge of the camera, right by Perry's shoulder and James feels like throwing his coffee at the screen for ruining the moment.

"Well, Perry the Platypus? What do you say?"

Perry spares Feelbetter only a single glance, before he turns back to Heinz. Their eyes meet, gaze heavy with all the words they couldn't say in front of a live studio audience, before Heinz, finally smiles.

Perry smiles back. Off-screen, someone hands him his hat back on a silver platter, and he doesn't hesitate a single more second before he takes it, putting it back on his unruly hair. The audience coos and cheers.

"Oh, what a beautiful conclusion folks! How absolutely wonderful!" Feelbetter cries.

In the third floor OWCA's employee pantry, the crowd bursts into their own cries of relief, patting each other on the back as they celebrate while pretending nobody had cared either way.

"That's better than any of my soaps." Chamy quips, as the crowd begins to thin along with the end of lunchbreak. Both of them were still standing there, because James had a hunch that something was About To Happen. "Nice to be reminded that Perry's just like any one of us, really."

Chamy would know, of course. Their nemesis-ship with the Sinister Sisters would hit their 20th Anniversary this Friday. A nemesis-ship, he'd been repetitively told by his graduating supervisor back in the Academy, was a commitment, so maybe they all should've seen this coming, really.

James wonders about Peter. He'd heard the guy had his own nemesis, back in Seattle. Someone should be looking into what happened there, but Mystery—some Doctor or Professor or other—was infamous for being almost undetectable. Perhaps they had the better sense to keep whatever happened there under wraps instead of coming onto a live studio recording for professional help. Maybe Ann was right and Perry really was a sucker for attention.

James is pulled out of his thoughts as Heinz gets to his feet, pulling a button out of his lab coat pocket. Uh-oh.

"Thank you, Perry the Platypus." He says, before he clicks the button, effectively trapping all studio staff members and OWCA agents in the crowd, and alarms began blaring all through the headquarters as Monogram and Acronym are demanding cavalry to the Feelbetter set in LA, double time. Chamy curses, and James finishes off the last of lukewarm coffee in three large gulps.

"Let's never speak of this again," he says.

"Agreed." Chamy answers. Agent Jackal and Chameleon shook on it, before they rush out of the office to save the day.

[abubblingcandle]

Jamie Tartt Accent Analysis

Um so yeah, after an anon ask to @withbadhair talking about how Phil is posh and Jamie is Manc, I relistened to Phil Dunster's episode on No Such Thing As A Fish again today and got sucked back into how much I love thinking about the intricacies of regional accents and how much I love thinking about Phil's accent work and how it is great!

So here you go -

A Yorkshire Lass' with an obsession with regional UK accents' take on Jamie Tartt's accent

Phil's Intentions with the accent

Phil has said that it was really his choice what sort of Manchester accent they went for (as Jamie wasn't written specifically to be Mancunian) but he was aiming for New Moston sort of area which is north eastern Manchester suburb (see yellow highlighted area on the image)

But he started by mimicking his agent who is apparently sassy and from Manchester but then listened to people like Aitch (who is from Moston which is probably where the idea for Jamie being from Moston/New Moston came from), Marcus Rashford (who is from Wythenshawe which is south Manchester out of the Outer Ring Road), Jesse Lingard (who is from Warrington which is a town between Manchester and Liverpool to the west) the Gallaghers (who are from Burnage which is south eastern - near Highfield Country Park on the map) which was more season 1 Jamie.

It was mentioned that Aitch was a bit inspiration with the attitude and the sort of swagger as well as the accent itself.

Features of a Mancunian Accent (some things to listen out for)

Research says that the Manchester accent can be characterised by a few distinct features:

The LettER vowel: if there is an ER at the end of a word it is pronounced more like UH. So for example "letter" becomes "let-uh"

The HappY vowel: what Jamie is known for. If there is a Y at the end of a word it is pronounced more like EH. For example "poopy" being "poopeh" or "city" being "cit-eh

H-dropping: this is typically northern but prevalent in Manchester. It is not pronouncing the H at the start of a word so instead of saying "head" pronouncing it "ed".

T-glotallisation: if there is a T in the middle of a word it is sort of dragged over. Like in "better" it can be "beh-uh".

-NG: typically if a word ends in -NG you do not say the G. For example "waiting" is "waitin"

All of these features are more easily noticed in words where more than one of them happens like "happy" becomes "appeh" with both H-dropping and the Y at the end

Analysis of Jamie Tartt's accent from a professional (not me)

Manchester Met have done a study of the different dialects within Greater Manchester and have split it into four categories. Lancashire, Mancs, Wigan, Posh. If Phil was aiming for Moston that would be more Manc but some Lancashire.

Dr Rob Drummond who was the lead on this research was sent clips of Jamie Tartt (edit - as a few people commented on this but he is a friend of No Such Thing As A Fish so was sent it in preparation for Phil being on the podcast but was apparently very complimentary so definitely a Phil Dunster win!) and managed to locate very precisely to just north of central Manchester in the Smedley sort of area which is the blue area on the map. If you compare that with Phil's aim of the red area ... that's damn impressive

So if you are looking for areas of Manchester to set your fics around or ways to make your dialogue feel more Tartt. Then we are looking for the Mancs accent and living somewhere in just north/north west of central Manchester based on his accent.

So yeah thanks for reading my thesis. I was going to go into words and sayings here too but it's after midnight and I have been talking to myself for the last hour just repeating the same words in Queens English, Leeds, and Manc 😂

Disclaimer - this is more based on S3 Jamie as S1 Jamie had a lot more subdued characteristics as Phil was finding his feet with the accent.

Side Plug as I have preordered it - Dr Rob Drummond's book called You're All Talk is coming out soon and it is all about this stuff and also social perceptions of linguistic diversity (which as someone who's accent massively chances based on the situation I am in I am super interested in)