#Understanding karma and dharma | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unstable-samurai · 1 year ago

Text

LOVE IS INTENTION

pt.2: A long Dinner With The Frogs

Sana x Male Reader

word count: 18k

part 1

The superintendent's office resembled more a funeral chamber, suffocated in constant dimness. The cold, relentless glow of fluorescent lamps was the only thing piercing the darkness. The smell of stale coffee and musty papers permeated the air, a perpetual reminder of decay. Smith, with dark circles that looked like craters on a face sculpted by exhaustion, stared at the superintendent. Frustration was the only visible mark on his worn expression.

"Superintendent, we need to talk about the case of the victims," Smith said, his voice heavy as lead. "The fourth woman was found today. The modus operandi is exactly the same as the other three. Unless you haven't noticed."

The superintendent, the personification of coldness and impassivity, leafed through the documents before him with an almost supernatural calm. His eyes slowly rose, fixing on Smith with his well-known bony and unfriendly face.

"I saw the report, Smith," he said, his voice as cold as the room. "But this last victim had a Dharma Wheel symbol. That’s a new detail, don’t you think? It might indicate it's not the same killer. Don't jump to conclusions."

"Oh, so now we're collecting exotic symbols?" Smith retorted, acidity dripping from every word. "I understand your concern, but the rest of the details match perfectly. The profile of the victims, the crime scenes, the way they were approached and killed. This can't be a coincidence, unless you prefer to ignore it."

The superintendent maintained his calm and steady gaze on Smith, as if watching a detective character from a black-and-white noir film.

"I agree there are similarities, but the introduction of a new element might suggest a change in pattern or even the actions of a copycat. We need to be cautious, Smith.”

Smith narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists on the table. “The victims were found in desolate locations, all in seldom-visited urban parks. All four women were between 25 and 35 years old, Caucasian, short in stature, and had a history of ‘nightlife’. The approach was meticulous. Do I need to remind you how it was?” Smith didn't wait for a response and continued: “First, the killer drugged them with benzodiazepines to incapacitate them without raising suspicion. Then, he tied their hands and feet with nylon ropes and strangled them with a thin wire, possibly a piano wire.”

Smith’s voice remained merciless, necessary to make the superintendent understand his point. “The bodies were left in specific, almost ritualistic poses, with their hands crossed over their chests and their eyes open. The only difference in this case is the Dharma Wheel symbol, marked on the victim's forehead with something that seemed to be a cauterization tool, as the forensics confirmed.”

"Dharma Wheel," the superintendent repeated, with a slight inflection of curiosity. "If we initially thought we were dealing with some kind of complex, puritanical misogynist sneaking around brothels, now what is it? A religious fanatic?"

Smith took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts. “Well, the Dharma Wheel is a Buddhist symbol, representing cosmic law and order. But it also has mystical connotations. Some believe that incorporating this symbol into a ritual is an attempt to impose a kind of purification or karma on the victim. As if the killer were trying to justify his actions, giving them a higher meaning, almost... religious. Damn, I don’t know. I’ve never been a spiritual guy.”

The superintendent frowned, clearly skeptical. "So you think the killer sees his actions as a form of divine justice?"

"It's a possibility," replied Smith, with a spark of intensity in his eyes. "No detail is added by chance. If the killer included the symbol, he might have evolved in his thinking, or he’s trying to send a message. Maybe he believes he’s correcting some moral imbalance. Sees himself as some kind of Messiah or enlightened one. We need to understand his mindset to anticipate his next steps.”

“And what if we’re dealing with a cult?” questioned the inspector.

"A group of people walking around in white robes killing women would attract a lot of attention, don’t you think? But I admit there might be something bigger behind it. Though it’s still too early to raise such a suspicion. In any case, waiting for another corpse is not a brilliant strategy," Smith insisted. "We have a clear pattern in four cases. We’re dealing with a serial killer. If it’s a cult, we catch one and we catch them all. We need to adjust our operation. The team needs to know we’re dealing with someone methodical and dangerous, unless, of course, you really prefer to wait for another corpse."

"Are you suggesting we formalize this?" asked the superintendent, unperturbed.

"Yes!" affirmed Smith, determined. "Let’s change our mode of operation and inform the team to update the patterns we have. We need to be prepared to anticipate this killer’s next move, with or without the symbol."

There was a note of desperation in Smith’s voice, something even the superintendent, with his impenetrable emotional armor, could not ignore.

"Very well, Smith. Let’s formalize the change and reinforce surveillance in the suburbs. But keep your eyes open for any variation in the pattern. It happened once, it can happen again. Of course, if it’s really the same person. We can't rule out anything," agreed the superintendent, his tone remaining icy. “All this is weighing on me, Smith. I can’t afford to stay in the same spot.”

"Of course, superintendent. We’ll catch the bastard," replied Smith, exhausted. “Well, I think I’ll get some coffee, if you’ll excuse me.”

"Get some sleep, Smith," advised the superintendent, his voice as cold as a tombstone. "We’ll need a better spirit than this to deal with this case."

“I need to sort out a few things first,” Smith said, opening the office door. “After years in this profession, sir, your body gets used to and even learns to function in exhaustion.” And with his usual stubbornness, Smith left the room.

Although the conversation had ended, the funeral-like atmosphere lingered in the air, heavy and striking. The dying cries of the cold wind lashing the window glass seemed to protest against the sick city, as both men prepared to face another long night with no easy answers.

You waited for the document to save automatically, then saved it again manually. Trusting automation 100% has never been your style. You closed the MacBook screen and pushed the chair away from the table, rubbing your tired eyes after three hours of nonstop writing. The now-empty coffee bottle had been your greatest ally in this torturous and solitary mission. All true artists are, at some point, masochists. You heard this from a close friend who was also a writer. A word wizard, you considered him, despite the man never achieving the success he deserved. He was always sensible in his ponderings and could ridiculously well use sex as symbolism for any topic he was discussing. A damn depraved genius is what he was. You wish you had paid more attention when he said function should give a blowjob in form, not the other way around.

You gave a deserved stretch after so many hours sitting, feeling terribly tired, and, unfortunately, there was still a long time until nightfall. It was your third day in the cabin; on the first night, you slept poorly because the place was new, your body and mind needed to get used to such abrupt (though carefully organized) isolation. On the second night, you slept poorly because, well, you don't know why. Just a weird feeling of not being alone, something or someone watching you in the darkness of the room, a sudden perception of there being something else in this place. Whether it was a damn Wendigo or the witch of the woods, you weren’t sure, but regardless of who it was, you were going to sleep well that coming night, no matter the cost.

You took off your clothes, standing in your boxers in front of the bedroom mirror. Not bad for a man about to turn 40, truth be told. You always looked younger than you actually were, and some people found it impossible that you were over 35. For some reason, it was sad to stare at yourself half-naked in front of a mirror, so you refocused and put on your running clothes, the idea being to exhaust yourself to the point that at night you would die in bed, and nothing would bring you back to life, demon or spirit.

Perhaps you drafted the character Smith in such a tired and exhausted way so that he wouldn’t think more astutely than your own mind was capable of at that moment.

In the kitchen, you ate your banana with oats and took your creatine. Deafening silence. Leaning on the sink, you looked around the interior of the cabin; the only thing separating the kitchen from the living room was a counter. There was a small bathroom next to a small bedroom, and nothing more. It was a modest and rustic treasure, and you were more than happy to invest your money to renovate the entire cabin’s plumbing. Artesian well, submersible pump, lift piping, cistern to store water and distribute it to the points of use, pressurizer, and all those filters with strange names and different types of filtrations that, in the end, made it seem like the groundwater had passed under Chernobyl before reaching your cabin. But the bottom line was: drinkable water straight from the tap.

The nearest town was 12 km away. It was almost certain that no one was in the other cabins in the area, as most belonged to hunters and hunting season had not yet opened. The others, the ridiculously large and expensive cabins of rich folks wanting to enjoy nature without giving up extreme comfort, were apparently unoccupied, considering that the vacation season for most people with conventional jobs had already passed. In a way, this made you one of the only slackers in the region.

‘Artist’ might be a less degrading word.

As you headed to the cabin door, you were surprised to notice a small green thing on the wall near the window. As you approached, it moved. You were about to go for a run without your glasses, so eagle vision didn’t match your eyes at the moment. But getting a little closer, you realized it was a frog. When the little visitor noticed your presence, it ran up the wall to hide in an opening between the window and the wall, the spot where it probably came through. Shy little fellow.

“I’d better not see you around here at night, buddy,” you warned it, trying not to sound threatening.

Well, you didn’t hate frogs, but you weren’t a fan either. There was something about them that deeply bothered you, and if it weren’t for that, you might even consider them adorable creatures. The problem was their unpredictability; they could either run away when they saw you coming or suddenly jump on you. It’s not like you were afraid of frogs, maybe just the poisonous ones, for rational reasons, but those were rare to find by chance. The real problem was the feeling of being caught off guard by one of them; it was irritating to you. And this had roots in your tumultuous childhood. As a child, you hated spending holidays at your grandparents' country house because almost every night some frog would jump onto your bed, waking you from deep sleep in the worst possible way: cold, sticky feet on your face. It was always a challenge to get the frogs out of the room, and with all the adults asleep, you couldn’t turn to anyone. A small battle you had to fight alone every night. If only it were daytime, but damn, at night. Why did things seem so much harder at night? Once, three frogs jumped onto your bed within an hour. You woke up the next day with dark circles too deep for a 12-year-old boy and a lot of irritability in your voice. After that misfortune, you started sleeping with the room light on, even after leaving the country house; a habit that triggered issues with your uninterrupted sleep. That was when you first noticed that one event could trigger another completely random one. However, after two months, your father discovered the room light stayed on all night and forced you to turn it off at bedtime, making you lie in bed swallowed by darkness, dreading the sneaky steps of those amphibians so cute yet so damn annoying. It was a pretty embarrassing thing to admit. Ultimately, an irrational fear of something harmless, a product of the unconscious or a malfunction of the reptilian brain, where reason doesn’t operate, only primitive instinct or some crap like that. Regardless of what it was, the sensation of those little cold feet on your forehead was still incredibly vivid in your mind. No wonder you always admired Tiana's courage when she kissed that frog.

The fact was you’d prefer fat, slow toads crawling around your cabin to sneaky frogs inside it. At least this one in particular was smaller than usual, and it looked at you with bulging, curious orange eyes.

“Get out of here, little guy. The insects are outside,” you informed it with leniency, but the green fellow stared at you with a clueless look.

You headed outside the cabin. The fresh air filled your nostrils as the wind tousled your hair. The day was cloudy. According to the weather forecast, the week would be very rainy. You stretched before starting your run; your route would be to walk to a lake five minutes from the cabin and then run around it while listening to your rock playlist. After that, you would have to go to town to buy a new air filter for the generator, and maybe new spark plugs, as the current ones didn't seem to be working properly since the generator was consuming more fuel than you had previously calculated.

Which was strange because it was new.

Oh, and masking tape to cover that crack so the little green guy or one of his friends wouldn’t come back to bother you.

As you walked there (the background music playing in your ears), you revisited the idea of your story in your mind. It was a crime thriller, your first adventure in the genre, perhaps not as commercial as the books Grandma Agatha Christie wrote, tinged with a gloomy and almost nihilistic atmosphere, if not for the satire of the thing in some moments. The draft of the first chapter seemed good enough to you; it set the tone the story would follow. Smith, the classic detective destroyed by his own job and with a few vices, was quite fun to write because of his sarcasm, and the slight satire you intended to put in the subtext of the story lightly worried you about how the audience would receive the book. It wasn’t serious and dark, nor was it a comedy, or a proper satire, but rather that hard-to-reach tone in art: the bittersweetness of real life. Detective Smith cracked good jokes, but despite that, he was a guy committed to his job and, above all, focused on catching the serial killer. Obsessed, so to speak. Which often leads to character flaws and missteps along the way. A human.

Just because what he says is funny doesn't mean he isn't serious.

That was how you wanted to continue the story, and you needed to remember to never underestimate the reader to do it right and stay on tone. The fact that the story only really begins after the fourth murder was different and interesting, placing the reader in the middle of the mess would make the pace intense, while the past events would be given to the reader through flashbacks. The idea could work, as long as you don't ping-pong between the past and the present.

Before you knew it, the lake already stretched out before your eyes, calm and majestic. As you approached, it became clearer, even though distant things weren’t very precise on your radar. Near the shore, you started to run. The sensation was invigorating, close to absolute freedom, making you smile to yourself as all the irrelevant things seemed to fall behind. Perhaps this was the beginning of your solitude, after all. Finally erasing that weird feeling of resentment that had taken over you since you arrived at the cabin, a sense of being somewhat sick, with an inexplicable urge to vomit. And all because of damned Facebook forcing you to see a picture of your ex-wife, remarried, holding her baby in her arms. Countless times she said she didn't want kids… Yet there she was, looking like the happiest woman in the world. Without you.

And you without her! Happy in your solitude, the perfect return to your writing career, except for that one small, insignificant detail. It was all fine as long as you kept running because with every step: all those stupid things grew more distant from you.

Well…

Which actually didn’t make sense.

You were running in circles.

And just when you were about to complete the second semicircle around the lake (man, you must have been really into that solo from Shine On Your Crazy Diamond not to notice earlier), something reflected inside the lake, blinding your vision. You stopped running to see what it was and had to squint to see clearly; truth be told, it took a while for you to believe there was someone swimming alone in the lake at the far end from where you stopped running. You thought it could be anything else, but well, you weren't blind yet. The person had long hair, which could be black, dark brown, or even light brown, darkened by being wet. And you were almost sure it was a man. Thinking with common sense, no woman would be swimming alone in a cold lake in the middle of the forest. Maybe in a teen horror movie where a hot young girl lures a guy or a group of them into a deadly ambush; complete with over 30 minutes of explicit violence, numerous creative deaths, and lots and lots of nudity. You wouldn’t buy the ticket, but you’d watch it on some streaming service on a random night. Thankfully, something like that would never happen in real life. Right?

You paused the music and looked around. There was no one else nearby, and the lake was completely silent, the person swimming slowly and stealthily, like a crocodile — ah, I get it! The person was diving constantly in the lake, which explained why you hadn’t seen them easily.

You resumed running, determined to turn the second semicircle into a full circle. Maybe you’d interact with the person in the lake if you got the chance, but you didn’t think it was a good idea to deliberately bother them in the middle of their dives. You also avoided looking too much at the lake, knowing that person must have noticed your presence from the beginning, so you just decided to ignore the unusual situation and go on with your life.

You completed the second circle by passing by the diving person, but it was nearly impossible not to sneak a glance. That’s when you saw on the lake’s shore some clothes that looked — holy shit! — feminine.

And, of course, the fucking phone that reflected the sunlight in your face.

Your fear grew as your eyes identified each piece. Sweatshirt, jeans, sandals…bra…panties…

This woman couldn't possibly be naked, could she?

Splish!

She suddenly emerged to the surface, tossing her hair back and wiping the excess water droplets from her face. Her breath was heavy as she filled her lungs with oxygen again. The sight was as strange as it was beautiful, like a painting with indecipherable forms, a mirage in an oasis.

“It can't be… Damn it! No, it can't be!” you stammered, your mind going blank.

“Hi, dear! Isn’t it a shame we always meet in such cold weather?” Sana asked, excited to see you. “You’re sweating a lot, huh? Why don’t you stop for a bit and come swim with me?”

She was submerged up to her shoulders, and the faint sunlight piercing through the gray clouds penetrated the lake’s surface, creating a vision of pure delirium. Through the clear water, you saw Sana’s body, refracted and distorted by the rippling surface. Her arms moved gracefully, and each movement seemed amplified and softened by the water. The ripples created a hypnotizing effect, making parts of her body appear to change shape and size. It was as if Sana was wrapped in a cloak of liquid glass, the details of her body dancing and fragmenting into kaleidoscopic patterns. You were mesmerized by the sight, and your mind, often too associative for your liking (a lapse consequent of your work), made you compare Sana to-

“Calypso!” you suddenly said. “You look like some kind of freshwater Calypso. Beautiful and terribly lonely here in this lake.”

You weren’t flirting, just trying not to show the mortal fear you felt at that moment. A mere defense mechanism.

“And you are like Ulysses. You seem not to have been content with my love,” she said. “But unlike him, you don’t have another woman waiting for you far from here. So you have no reason to run from me.”

You squatted to observe her closely. Despite everything, you couldn’t help but watch her, fascinated — perhaps her naked body contributed to it.

“Actually, Sana, you’re more like a limnatide, you know? Those are the nymphs that inhabit lakes. Salmacis was a limnatide."

“You’re so smart. I never get tired of hearing you talk,” she said casually, just to please you. “But who is Salmacis? I don’t remember her.”

“Oh, you know, she’s the one who raped and cursed Hermaphroditus by merging their bodies into one,” you explained and saw her smile fade. A small victory. Standing up again, you asked, “What the hell are you doing here? And how did you find me?”

“A magician never reveals her secrets,” she said, running her hand through the water, making it ripple.

“You know I can call the police, right?”

“And what will they arrest me for?” she asked, seeming very amused by the situation.

“Stalking.”

“And what are your proofs, darling?”

“I have witnesses who can testify they saw you at the book launch. It’ll be easy to prove since your name was on the list. At the very least, they’ll find it odd we meet again in a new location almost 2,000 km from where we were before.”

“Is that all?” she asked, laughing. “Honey, I think you don’t know how things work. And the proof of a real threat? You can also add the security camera footage from the hallway, where they can see me entering your room at night and leaving only in the afternoon the next day. That will help you a lot, Mr. Integrity,” she flashed you a smug smile that made you look away for a moment, because it was beautiful, Sana was beautiful, and you were very angry with her at that moment.

“You know it’s illegal to swim naked, right? This isn’t a damn nudist beach.”

Sana squinted and smiled; she was really enjoying this argument or whatever the hell this conversation was.

“I thought I was being accused of stalking, now it’s public indecency?” she questioned, caricaturingly putting her finger on her chin. “Look, I think you even have better chances with the second option, although it probably won’t result in anything substantial. I can already imagine my defense saying something like,” She cleared her throat and changed her posture. Simulating a formal tone, she continued: “‘I do not understand that the accused, with her conduct, intended to shock and violate the decorum of the man who witnessed the scene. In my view, the defendant was bathing to refresh herself, however, she did so in a place exposed to the public, though remote, once she believed she was alone at that moment due to the cold weather, which was not inviting to most people, besides the popular hunting season had not started on the date of the incident.’ And I can go on: ‘despite having taken the risk of being seen naked, I see the defendant’s conduct as naive, with no offense to be punished under the law, as she did not commit any obscene gesture.’ And it can get better, look-”

“I get it!” You exclaimed, irritated. “You’re very smart, Sana. I admit that. But know that anything reckless you do will be used against you in court.”

Her expression seemed to change a little.

“I was acting like a peacock, dear. I just wanted to show you my hidden feathers. Believe me, I don’t want us to get to that point.”

“But seriously, where the hell are you staying? It’s 12 km from here to the nearest town and I haven’t seen any tire marks around except my pickup’s.”

“I have a cabin nearby.”

Hearing that, you swallowed hard. It was fucking difficult to keep your head in place in this kind of situation, you simply didn’t know what to think. Simply didn’t know.

As if this insanity wasn’t enough, Sana did nothing to help by displaying her small and delicate body, a structure that seemed almost sculpted at first glance. Her build was slender, with subtle curves that accentuated her femininity without exaggeration. Her skin was smooth as porcelain, slightly pale and flawless, with a natural glow that captured the light like a deity.

Her shoulders were narrow, gracefully shaping into thin arms and delicate hands. Her breasts, though small, were perfectly proportioned, firm and slightly lifted, complementing the harmony of her torso. Her belly was smooth and flat, leading to a finely chiseled waist that gently widened to form narrow hips.

Sana’s legs were long in proportion to her body, slender and well-toned, ending in small, delicate feet. These details were still clear in your mind. One night had been enough to capture a bit of her essence. Writer’s habit.

“That’s a lie. There’s no cabin nearby. I would know.”

“It’s true. Don’t you want to go there with me? I can prepare a picnic basket and we can eat here by the lake. Like our own blue lagoon. Isn’t it cute?”

That was too much for you.

The laugh escaped your mouth like a cough, compulsively laughing in front of her.

'Just because what he says is funny doesn’t mean he’s not serious.'

“Sana, you know there are companies eyeing this lake, right? They want to buy the surrounding area to stock fish in that water and make a fucking recreational fishing park.”

“In that case, it would be epic to fight against the privatization of this lake together. Like a couple of activists.”

“Take it easy, Yoko Ono,” you said while thinking about what to do. The fatigue made everything harder. You asked as sincerely as possible, “You’re not going to kill me, are you?”

“I’m as sad as you are, but this was the only way for us to have some time alone. Give me a chance to explain everything and I—”

“What’s your last name?”

“What?”

“What’s your last name?” you asked, irritated. Maybe the direct approach wasn’t the best option, but you were incredibly impatient.

“Please, let’s have dinner at your cabin tonight,” she said, completely ignoring your question. “I’ll explain everything. You’ll get to know the real me. You’ll know my last name and much more. I just don’t want you to be afraid of me. Please.”

“It’s hard not to be afraid when everything you do is the most psychopathic thing a human could do.”

“You don’t understand. It’s hard for me. I don’t know how to act like other people, but I’m trying. There are so many little social conventions that are hard to remember.”

“How did you know about the perfume my ex-wife wore? Fuck, I was so stupid to think it was all just a blessed coincidence!”

“You mentioned it in an old interview. The question was: ‘Is there a smell that brings you good memories?’ and you answered that it was that perfume. The one your ex-wife wore since your first date. The dress… There were pictures of her next to you wearing it.”

“You’re a freak, Sana.”

“Wait! Let me fix this.”

She started swimming towards the shore.

“Stay away from me!”

Sana stopped.

“I’m alone in this world, and I have nothing to lose,” she suddenly confessed. “I literally have no one. Except for you.”

“You don’t have me! You never did. You don’t even know me, Sana! You made this up in your head. You need help, do you understand? You need a lot of help!”

“I just need you... Wait, where are you going?!”

“To town! I swear to God, if I see you again, I’ll call the police.I don't give a fuck what I'll need to do to prove you’re a danger.” You spoke, then turned your back and started walking away from the lake.

Then, in the distance, Sana called your name. You shouldn’t have looked. But you turned towards her again, Sana walking slowly in the land, every drop of water lazily trailing down her curves, as if even nature wanted to feel her.

“I have nothing to lose!” she repeated the warning. It was a warning from the very beginning.

And that vision was dangerous evidence: Sana’s body was exactly as you remembered.

The smell of damp earth mingling with the freshness of the surrounding trees. The dirt road stretched out before you, winding between tall trunks and dense branches that formed a natural tunnel. The crunch of the wheels on the gravel and the sound of the old pickup truck’s engine echoed as the only constant sound in the forest, occasionally interrupted by the distant call of a bird or the cry of a small mammal.

As you progressed, the trees began to thin out, leaving larger gaps between them. The sunlight, once filtered through the canopy, had disappeared, giving way to a light rain. The dirt road turned into a narrow paved highway, with the dense vegetation replaced by open fields.

On the horizon, spaced-out farms began to appear, with wooden fences marking pastures where cows and horses grazed lazily. The sky grew darker. Rows of rain-laden clouds marched towards you, and sporadic thunder sounded like war drums. The highway, now straighter, ran parallel to rows of crops that stretched as far as the eye could see. The landscape was dominated by shades of green and gold, occasionally punctuated by red silos and barns.

A few kilometers ahead, the first signs of the town emerged. A small gas station, a grocery store, and a few modest houses lined the road, signaling the approach to the urban area. The main road led directly to the center of the rural town, where life seemed to move at a slower pace.

You drove to the hardware and auto parts store, parked your old pickup truck, and looked both ways before entering the store, the feeling of being watched now believable enough to heed what you previously considered paranoia. There was only a short, elderly man in the store, paying for his purchases and leaving. You walked to the counter to speak with the attendant, a young guy with acne, poor posture, and a cap with the store’s name on it that didn’t fit properly on his head.

“Good afternoon, bro. Tony’s Hardware and Auto Parts. How can I help you?”

“Are you Tony?” you asked, skeptical.

“Nah, man. Tony’s my uncle, I’m Johnny.”

“Okay, Johnny. I need an air filter for a generator.”

“Sure thing. Do you have a sample of the air filter?”

You put the piece on the counter, and Johnny looked at it for a moment, then went to the shelves behind him and spent two minutes searching for the right model.

“Here it is, man. All set!”

“Thanks. Look, I was having issues with the spark plugs in the generator. Yesterday, it took several tries to start it. Then I opened the generator and saw the spark plugs were a bit dirty, I cleaned them, and it started working again, but the generator isn’t running at full power. Do you think the problem could still be the spark plugs?”

“Hmm, could be, buddy. I’m no expert, unfortunately.”

“Also, it’s consuming more fuel than it should.”

“Hmm, yeah, sounds like it could be the spark plugs. I’d recommend buying new ones and replacing them, just to be safe.”

“Do you think I can do this without fucking up the generator?"

“Just shut everything down and don’t go touching random wires. I trust you.” Johnny said, giving you a false sense of confidence.

“Look, you seem like a smart guy.” Actually, he seemed kind of dumb, but he had the profile you were looking for. “Do you know if it’s easy for someone to hack a person?”

“Ah, man, I don’t know anything about that stuff. My brother’s the tech guy. But, I mean, it depends on who this someone is.”

“Someone very dedicated and willing to learn, let’s say.”

“In that case, they could spend hours on internet forums reading about it, man. The information is out there for anyone, no lie.”

“So, hacking someone remotely isn’t too difficult, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“And if you had physical access to their devices for a while?”

“Oh man, that’d be a piece of cake! There are some programs you can install on someone’s computer or phone that stay hidden among the files, like a virus, and this software sends a link that opens a page with all your folders for the hacker to access remotely… wait a second,” he said, his expression changing suddenly, “is someone hacking you, or are you trying to hack someone?!”

“The first one.”

“Ah, what a relief. I mean, damn, man, that sucks! You should, like, go to the police or something, right?”

“Right now, I don’t think the police can actually solve my problem. I don’t want to do anything rash,” you tried to explain. “By the way, have you seen any Asian girl, also not from around here, walking around town?”

“Look, man, you can bet if there was a hot Asian girl around here, I’d know.”

“Can you do me a favor?” you asked, and Johnny leaned over the counter to listen. “Can you and your brother look up some info about someone online for me? I’ll pay you.”

“Hey, man, that sounds shady as hell. I don’t know about that.”

“I’m not the creepy one here. There’s a girl, and she’s, like, an obsessed fan of mine. Somehow she found out I was here and followed me. She’s probably at some hotel in town, and I’m staying in a cabin near Crystal Lake. I need to know how dangerous she is. But I couldn’t find anything when I searched her name.”

“Bro, don’t be crazy, call the cops already!”

“The police won’t do anything efficient without solid proof of a real threat. If I involve the authorities, she might get pissed and easily bypass any protective measures just to, you know, get revenge.”

“Wait, if she’s a fan, then you’re famous, right?” he connected the dots, the genius. “I think I’ve seen you in some action movie…”

“I’m not an actor. I just write stories.”

“Oh man, you’re a writer, bro? That’s so cool! Are you friends with Stephen King?”

“Friend is a strong word. We’ve exchanged ideas at a conference.”

“Damn!!” he exclaimed. You could predict what was to come. “Look, I’m shaking, I’m such a fan of his, man! I’ve seen almost all the adaptations of his books. Can you get an autograph from the master?!”

“If you do what I asked, I can try.”

“Deal.”

You shook hands, and the devil knew this wasn’t the best of alliances.

I won't find anything better than this in this place.

“Damn, man! I just remembered I don’t have any of his books at home. I’ll need to buy one.”

“I’ll get you one.”

“Cool. Don’t worry about paying, I’ll cover it. I won’t screw you over or anything. So, buy the It book, it's my favorite film of the adaptations of his books.”

“Alright, alright! Forget about that for now. The girl’s name is Sana, keep it in your memory.”

“Got it. Do you have a picture of her or something? My brother will need a face to know if he found the right person."

You had deleted all those selfies she took with your phone while you slept, but there were still the photos from the book launch, where everyone gathered for a group photo. You took your phone out of your pocket and selected the best picture, Sana was way in the back, she knew how to be discreet when she wanted, you zoomed in on her face and showed it to Johnny.

“Holy shit man! She’s really hot! Look, I wouldn’t mind having a girl like that spicing up my life,” he joked, but you didn’t laugh along.

“Give me your Instagram, I’ll send you this photo so you don’t forget her face."

And he did so.

“When I get some info, I’ll message you.”

“Is your brother trustworthy? You better not fuck with me, okay?”

“Hey, man, you can count on me. I can see the exhaustion in your eyes. My brother is solid. Actually, I’d like to ask you one more thing besides King’s autograph. So, me and my brother have a podcast, it’s about movies and stuff, if you could give it a shoutout, speak highly of it, it’d be awesome. We’re getting close to 100 concurrent viewers during live streams, man. It’s growing nicely.”

You looked for the joke, but even Johnny wasn’t laughing this time. You were really desperate to go through with this.

“Alright.”

“And look, if you do that, it’ll mean a lot. It’s almost like a pact, you know, we’d never screw over someone who helped our podcast, you know? So you can feel safe with this. For real.”

“Fine, Johnny. I’ll trust you.”

“Oh, one more thing!” You tried not to roll your eyes. “You said you’re staying in a cabin near the lake, right? I recommend you buy everything you need, especially fuel to keep the generator running, because you might get stuck there for a while. There’s a hell of a storm coming, and when that happens, that road gets all muddy and almost impossible to drive on, and with that pickup of yours,” he pointed through the store window where your truck was parked, “you’re not going anywhere until the rain stops. That’s why no one stays in that area during the rainy season. You got unlucky.”

“Damn, I should’ve rented a better car. I thought this one would do the job.”

“Sometimes humility is our downfall, bro… Hey, that was a damn good line, you should write it down for one of your books. Consider it a gift.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll stop at the gas station and buy some gas cans.”

“Alright. When my shift ends, I’ll go home and tell my brother everything, he’ll do some digging on your fan. Maybe we’ll find some police records or something, who knows, maybe a lawsuit she’s involved in. I’ll get something for you, man. Trust me.”

You were starting to regret this idea.

“Don’t tell anyone about this, got it?”

“The secret between friends dies with the friends. Take care.”

You paid for the air filter and spark plugs, then left the store. As you got in the car, Johnny waved at you through the store window. Everything happened too fast for you to realize the level of recklessness you’d inflicted, but, damn, there were no manuals teaching how to deal with this kind of situation. Either way, you didn’t have a good feeling, and it was hard to tell if it was a bad omen or just fatigue. The roads would soon be messed up, and once you returned to the cabin, you might not be able to leave for a while.

Was it a sign from the universe or just bad luck?

Well, whatever it was, you still needed gas.

The trip to town had been frustrating but necessary, as thanks to Johnny's warning, you managed to stock up on gasoline for the generator. And food, of course. If everything you bought wasn't enough, then you would resort to self-cannibalization while writing an essay about the experience to be published posthumously. Now, the truly frustrating part of the trip had been your search for Sana. You looked for her in the tiny hotels, inns, hostels, and even motels. Fortunately, the town was small and there weren't many lodging options. Most of the conversations with the receptionists went like this:

“Good afternoon. I’m looking for a friend of mine, Sana. Is she staying here by any chance?”

“Good afternoon, sir. I’m sorry, but we can’t disclose information about our guests for privacy reasons.”

“I understand. It’s just that she’s not answering her phone, and I’m worried. Could you at least confirm if she’s checked in recently?”

“I really can’t confirm if someone is staying here, but I can try to help in another way. What’s her full name?”

Here is where you’d seem like the most suspicious guy in the lobby:

“Look, it’s funny, I always forget her full name. The last name is difficult to remember, and I’m not really good with names in general. But there can't be many women named Sana around here, right? I just want to know if she’s okay.”

When you gave this flimsy excuse, the receptionists would give you a very judgmental look.

“Let me check something for you. Just a moment.”

Then they’d start checking the system. Or pretend to.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t provide that information. However, if she left any message for you or indicated she was expecting someone, I can let you know. Leave your name and contact here.”

“I understand, thank you. Actually, I’ll keep trying to call her. Sooner or later she’ll have to answer, right? Thanks again for your help.”

You and the receptionist would exchange an awkward smile, and you’d leave knowing she was watching you from afar.

Leaving your information at receptions would only plant evidence of you stalking Sana, and just God knows how things would go if that ended up in court. Besides, if Sana were really staying in one of these places, she would never contact you. It was pretty clear that wouldn’t work, but you had to try anyway. The idea of Sana being in another cabin in the forest was inadmissible and didn’t make sense to you. During the days you spent in your cabin and wandered around the surroundings, you didn't notice any smell of food being prepared, no human noise, no footprints, no trash. But... she had invited you to her cabin, which you logically refused. There might be some kind of trap waiting for you there; you couldn’t trust her. The most plausible thing then was that Sana's cabin was relatively far from yours, hidden and camouflaged in the dense forest. Your mind elaborated a thousand and one theories as you returned to the comfort (not so comfortable now) of your home.

Then an absurd idea crossed your mind and you caught it with your hand, while the first drops of rain hit the car's windshield.

Night fell over the forest with the storm.

It took you a little over an hour to change the air filter and the spark plugs, but when you finished, the feeling of satisfaction at hearing the generator's engine purr like an orange kitten made you smile, cutting through some of the tension that was stiffening not only your muscles but also your spirit.

A big thank you to YouTube tutorials.

Anyway, the joy was short-lived, the raincoat you were wearing felt like a black shroud given to those summoned to explore the borders of hell. You needed to find out if there was indeed another cabin near yours. It was safer to go during the day, but you couldn’t risk Sana seeing you. Who knows, maybe there was some surveillance equipment in her cabin, although it was unlikely to keep such a thing running 24 hours with just a simple generator. But images of you sneaking around her cabin would be all Sana needed to blackmail you.

What the fuck am I doing…?

Where were the boundaries between your pragmatism and your neurosis?

You thought that by the time you figured it out, it would be too late.

With one hand you were holding the flashlight, with the other you opened the cabin door.

As you ventured deeper into the forest, your anxiety grew in a pulsing manner, like a parasite inside you, but a good parasite, pulsing in your temple telling you to turn back. What lay ahead were trees, trees, trees, and more trees. No sign of a cabin.

The forest was nothing more than a labyrinth of shadows. You advanced with uncertain steps, the flashlight trembling in your hand. The rustling of leaves sounded like distant laughter. You looked back, but the darkness had already swallowed the way back. If there was a cabin, you should have found it by now. There was no sign of an open field where a cabin or any structure could be placed. Your heart beat erratically, in a sudden delirium you wondered if you were alone or if someone was watching you. The forest closed in around you, it was hard to admit it, shit, it was terrifying to admit that you were lost. Your breath quickened as the cold bit into your skin, rationally, the despair set in. Then the flashlight in your hand flickered, the weak light trembled like a candle about to go out.

No, no, no!

You pressed the button repeatedly, but the beam of light weakened even more. The uncertain steps made your foot encounter something solid on the ground. You stumbled and fell. The pain was sharp enough to know that the injury was serious, at least given the situation you were in. After all, what the hell was that? A twisted root? A rock? It didn’t matter, it wouldn’t change the fact that now your left ankle was sending you jolts of pain, and standing up was torture, making you hate Sana with all your might. Limping in the middle of the dark forest like a stupid clown. You were tremendously irritated, an unexpected urge to drink seized you.

I could drink and die right after. I’d give anything for that. Fuck this life!

Suddenly, your hearing sharpened when you heard a terribly high-pitched sound coming from behind you. Screaming, screaming, screaming, calling you. It sounded like a… Whistle? It couldn’t get any better. Maybe a soccer match was going on nearby and you were the idiot who didn’t buy a ticket. The whistle seemed to have a life of its own, it was continuous. Well, someone was killing their lungs trying to save you. Either that, or the witch of the forest was whistling in a very, very weird way. You followed the direction of the incessant whistle, except for the regular pauses for whoever was whistling to catch their breath. Sporadic lightning occasionally revealed the way for you, giving you glimpses of a trail you had already traveled, although, the way it was shown – fleeting and blurred by the wet lenses of your glasses – seemed more like hallucinations in your head. But you had to believe you were returning to your cabin. The whistle. The call.

It was Sana, wasn’t it?

A lightning bolt flashed across the sky like at a large outdoor festival, in the distance, still through the trees, you saw your cabin flicker in the dazzling light.

The whistle sounded like a gesture of despair.

The trees gradually spaced out, the surroundings became more visible, the ground less uneven, you were out of the dense forest, your flashlight failing as it tried to illuminate in a single beam of light the figure of the girl dressed in a long dress, holding an umbrella with one hand and a whistle with the other, looking like a character straight out of a Koreeda film.

You walked up to her, your left foot practically dragging on the ground, you couldn’t think of anything to say, the anger being crushed by gratitude, the fury devouring the complacency alive, the urge to cry usurping the relief.

“Let’s go inside!” exclaimed Sana urgently, sharing the umbrella with you as you both rushed to the cabin (well, you tried).

The door opened with a dry snap. You exhaled like a dying horse, throwing yourself onto the cabin floor to lie down, practically your white flag against the wild nature. You didn’t want to think about anything. There was nothing to think about. There was no reason to think. You’d been doing that your whole life and were tired of it. You wanted to throw your brain away. Pull the back of your head like a damn mailbox and remove that electrified ball of flesh. There had to be a way to make it stop thinking.

Well, there was a way, but it was, let’s say, off-key.

You started to get up, your damn ankle sending you jolts of pain to remind you of your stupidity. You looked at Sana, beautiful, while you: destroyed.

“There’s no cabin, is there, Sana?” you asked, pronouncing each word slowly, trying to space out the anger you felt. But it was hard. God, how hard it was.

“I’m sorry!” she said, crying. Fuck, she was already crying. “I didn’t think it would go this far. I can explain everything. I’m sorry! You were out for so long! I was so worried about you. Are you hurt? My God, I’m sorry!” she repeated, screaming.

“Get out of my cabin. Now!”

There you were, throwing her out again.

“Please, no…”

“I said I’d call the police if this happened again. Get out, you psychopath!” you yelled at her, and Sana stepped back, scared.

You approached her in a threatening manner, making her walk backward, cautiously, and with each step she got closer to the door. Before she realized it, she was at the doorway.

“You better disappear before the police show up,” you warned her, and then slammed the door shut with brute force.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. What a day. Everything fell apart so quickly that you didn't have time to see where you went wrong. Now 3% calmer, you noticed that the kitchen table was set, hot food, candles, the fireplace warm, two glasses, and a bottle of Coca-Cola (no wine for Mr. Writer). She had prepared dinner while you were facing the two longest hours of your life. Spaghetti carbonara. That's what it seemed like, at least. A relatively quick dish to prepare if you had made it before. The smell was great, the ambiance emphatically comfortable while the world outside was collapsing. It seemed intentional: a terribly cold end-of-the-world assaulting the planet and you denied shelter to one of God's angels. Even if she might be Lucifer's younger sister

Oh, come on, I'm not like that. She didn't deserve to die from hypothermia or whatever the hell.

You took off that stupid raincoat and went back to the door, leaned your head against the wood before deciding if you were actually going to open it or not. The primary mistake was opening the hotel room door that day, and here you were, repeating — now aware of what would happen — the same mistake, about to formalize a new heuristic pattern. And, fuck, it was really funny how one event could trigger another totally random one.

You saw Sana's face light up when the door opened, the glow of the lamps behind you reflecting in her brown eyes. She hadn't moved an inch since you expelled her. Because she already knew you would open it again or because she didn't know where to go?

"Come in before you catch a cold," you said, extending your hand into the cabin.

She seemed slightly confused by your kindness but entered immediately.

You asked her to sit on the couch while you quickly walked to the bedroom and grabbed two towels. You wrapped her body with the bath towel and started drying her hair with the face towel.

"Sorry, I don't have a hairdryer."

"It's okay. Thank you."

Sana's makeup was running down her face, a sad sight, but somehow, it became incredibly erotic on that precious face. Two beautiful lines running below her eyes, the mixture of eyeshadow and mascara, as if Sana had cried tears of dark indigo. A living portrait where the artist displayed his tragedy.

"Excuse me," you asked, and she allowed you to dry her face, cleaning one corner and smudging the makeup even more in another. "Why do you have a whistle?"

"Hmm, i found it here."

"Really? Well, it's actually the least weird thing that happened today."

"I saw you limping," she said, her voice still wary, like a child who knows they've done wrong and now has to face their parents. "Are you okay?"

"It's my fucking ankle. I think I tripped over some exposed root or something. I must have twisted it."

You hadn't taken off your boots yet to see the damage. After drying Sana's face, that's what you did and — oh boy —, it wasn't a pretty thing to see.

"Let me check," said Sana, kneeling with difficulty because of her dress. "It's quite swollen and red; it might turn purple. I'm going to press a little, okay?"

You gave permission, and the slightest touch made you groan and sigh, and maybe you were starting to go crazy because the pain that pulsed from your ankle was terribly pleasurable and stimulating, seeming healthy to self-inflict for your own satisfaction, like scratching a persistent itch. But you weren't quite insane enough to enjoy that kind of thing.

"I don't know where to start treating my ankle," you admitted, frustrated.

"Where's the first aid kit?"

"In one of those cabinets," you pointed to the kitchen.

Sana got up and went over to rummage through the cabinets. She soon found the small white box with a red cross on the lid. Sana opened the freezer and took out a bag of ice, grabbed some cubes, and wrapped them in a cloth, bringing everything back to the couch. Sana gently took your leg and raised it, placing it on a pillow on the coffee table.

"Open the kit and look for a painkiller," Sana said while holding the makeshift ice pack on your ankle. "Take ibuprofen if there's any."

Fortunately, there was.

"How long do you think it will take to heal?"

"It wasn't a severe sprain. Maybe two weeks. One, if you behave and take care of it."

"Are you a nurse?"

"No, but I took some classes on 'how to be a functional human being and survive in society.' Oh, do you need water to swallow the pill?" You shook your head. "Believe me, where I came from, I needed those classes. They just didn't teach us much about medications. For safety."

"You're my Annie Wilkes, I guess. But more attractive than Kathy Bates, at least." You joked, and the bitter sarcasm felt much like the taste of a horrible medicine you needed to take to endure the moment.

Sana chuckled, but she was still focused on her task.

"Don't be silly, I'm not going to keep you here or anything like that. I'll take care of you. It's my fault you got hurt, after all," she sadly admitted. Apparently, psychopathy wasn't her problem. Sociopathy, maybe. "I suppose you don't have a crutch here in the cabin," she said while rummaging through the first aid kit. "Tomorrow I can buy one... Oh, look, this elastic bandage will do for now." She showed you the small roll of bandage with a gentle smile.

"I wouldn't count on going to town tomorrow. With this rain, the road will be impassable. We're stuck here," Was it safe to pass this information to Sana? After all, you still didn't know her true intentions.

"Oh, I kind of suspected that. So, in that case, we'll improvise a stick for you tomorrow morning. We have plenty of wood at our disposal. Well, now I'll bandage your foot. This might hurt a little, but it will help," she warned, unrolling the bandage.

Holding your foot with one hand, Sana started wrapping the bandage firmly around your ankle, starting at the base of your toes and moving towards the heel.

As she worked, she made sure the bandage was snug but not too tight to avoid cutting off circulation. "I need you to tell me if you feel too much pressure or pain," she said, focused on what she was doing.

You smiled without realizing it. Her serious expression while focusing on the task was actually very cute. She had agile and gentle hands, and her care not to hurt you was evident.

Sana continued wrapping the bandage, overlapping the wraps evenly, creating stable compression around the swollen ankle. When she reached halfway up your calf, she secured the end of the bandage with the clips provided in the kit.

"Done," she said, observing her work. "Now we need to keep this elevated and continue applying ice. It will help reduce the swelling," she informed you, putting the makeshift ice pack back on your ankle. "We'll do this every few hours, 20 minutes at a time."

"You're incredible," slipped out of your mouth. You shouldn't be encouraging her. But you were voluntarily doing so.

"It was nothing. Now, I think we have some things to talk about, don't we?"

You smiled with your lips, a humble smile of Tiredness. Or a smile of defeat, like someone who, with a certain pride, acknowledges their weakness towards something or someone. In your case, it was her. Sana.

You patted your thighs and sighed. Was there anything else to do, after all?

"Bring the spaghetti over here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Terribly fascinated you were. Maybe it was too early to say 'terribly enchanted'. You were enveloped by the long, deep, melodramatic lull that was Sana's past. Slightly distressed to know how it all happened until it triggered the moment where you both were, but it was necessary for the story to be told from the beginning to fully understand the impulsive acts of this girl - this fan - passionately obsessed with you.

Oh, and by the way, the spaghetti was good. But a bit cold.

You looked at Sana, melancholic and distant while she watched the flames in the fireplace. She had gone to the bathroom to wash her face properly. Now with a clean face, nothing was covering it. Determined to delve into her wound for you.

“First of all, my last name is Minatozaki,” she said, in a mere attempt to break the ice. You told her it was a beautiful last name. “I was 11 years old when everything started to fall apart,” she began in earnest. “My mother suffered from severe depression. She was always absent, even when she was present, if that makes sense.”

“It does make sense,” you commented. “And your father?”

“My father was a ghost, always working. He never had time for me. Soon I started to feel invisible, as if I didn’t matter. Then the anger started growing inside me. I became more and more impulsive and aggressive,” Sana paused. She looked at you, as if to make sure you were really listening. “They didn’t know what to do with me. The school couldn’t handle my behavior. The breaking point was when I pushed a classmate down the stairs over some silly argument. I don’t even remember the reason anymore, just that she broke her leg. That’s when they decided to institutionalize me.”

“Damn… That must have been terrible for such a young child.”

“It was. At first, I hated being there. The psychiatric hospital was a cold and strange place. The atmosphere forced to be welcoming, it was an expensive hospital after all, but if you’re there alone, it’s terribly distressing. I felt isolated from the world. The other kids had similar problems, but no one really connected. Everyone was fighting their own battles there.”

You tucked a strand of hair behind Sana’s ear and then asked:

“And what was your routine like there?”

“We had classes inside the hospital. There were teachers, but the classes were small. They tried to adapt the teaching to our needs, but I always felt like I was missing something, you know? The occupational therapies and the playful activities helped pass the time, but it was never enough to fill the void.”

“I imagine. And the treatments?”

You didn’t realize it, but there was a calmness and kindness in your voice that motivated her to continue.

“At first, they diagnosed me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I was always provoking the adults, causing trouble. But as I grew older, my symptoms evolved. In adolescence, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My emotions were a roller coaster. I felt empty, but at the same time, any small thing could trigger a storm inside me.”

“It must have been a constant battle.”

“It was. They tried everything to control my anger and impulsiveness. Psychotherapy, behavioral therapy, medication... Every day was a struggle to stay stable. I was always being watched, always under surveillance. I had few chances to feel really free. Over time, my parents’ visits decreased. Not that I cared, we were never close anyway. The only things that brought me some relief were books. And that’s how I discovered you.”

“Me?” You swallowed hard. “Well, sooner or later we’d get to that.”

“Yes. Your books were an escape for me. I read and reread every word, trying to find some meaning, some connection with myself. When you wrote about pain, about loneliness, I felt like you understood exactly what I was going through. Catarina, the protagonist of your first book, when she attempted suicide and was hospitalized… That story changed me… But not all of your books were allowed for us.”

“It’s understandable, God knows how many triggers that could unleash in vulnerable people. But wait, how did you get my books then?”

“There was a doctor, Dr. Collins. She sympathized with me. I think she saw something in me that others didn’t. She brought me your books secretly, even those considered too sensitive for patients like me. Besides, she managed to get teen magazines where you were interviewed. The questions were trivial, but for me, every detail about you was a treasure.”

With a slight smile, you said:

“I was contractually obliged by the publisher to do those things. I don’t dare to flip through any of those magazines nowadays,” You saw Sana’s face soften a bit. “So, Dr. Collins was your accomplice, right?”

“In a way, yes. She also knew I tried to listen to your radio show. There were nights when I stayed up late, trying to fix the signal on the old hospital radio to hear you talk about movies with your friend. Sometimes, I even managed to hear a full episode without missing anything.”

You held her hand. A gesture that made you uneasy, but Sana’s response by squeezing your hand made it seem right.

“I never imagined my books and other nonsense I did could have such an impact.”

“They did. I wasn’t joking when I said that day that you were my peace of mind. But anyway, my parents died in an accident shortly before I left the hospital. I was the only one to inherit their estate. Living in society I found myself lost and lonely again. I tried to find someone like you, but no one was enough. They all disappointed me. They were older, like you, but they just wanted to use me. I hate admitting this part of my life, but I slept with several men hoping to find one who made me feel what you made me feel. It didn’t work, so that’s when I decided I needed to find you, needed to somehow make you understand.”

Your gaze shifted from hers. Terribly melodramatic for your taste, terribly visceral, and terribly your complacency acted without your command.

“And now we’re here. And I finally start to understand the depth of what you went through, Sana. I'm sorry about your parents, I had no idea. What a fucking journey you lived..."

She gave you a sad smile.

They were the beautiful eyes of a tragedy looking at you.

“Yes, we’re here. And maybe, now that you know I’m not a monster, we can really get to know each other.”

The hand of reason tugged at your ear. Was this beautiful, seemingly vulnerable girl manipulating you again?

Either way, there were still loose ends.

“And at the book launch, when you appeared… Your dress, the perfume… Everything so intentional… Why did you do that, Sana?”

She looked down, embarrassed.

“I planned everything. I wanted you to notice me, to see me as someone special. I thought if I wore the same dress and perfume as your ex-wife, I could make you feel the same as you did for her. It was a desperate way to try to get your attention, to make you fall in love with me like you did with her. I know it sounds crazy, but… I was willing to do anything for you to notice me.”

“Sana, that is…” What was that? So many layers, so many branches, you didn’t know what you were feeling anymore. You didn’t know how to judge. Even having written troubled, depressed characters, the real bastards, you never approached from a psychoanalytic perspective. You were just a person writing other people. It was never your place to judge your characters’ actions. It was never your place to judge anyone. “I understand a little better now, Sana. You just wanted to be seen, to be loved.”

A sudden desperation took hold of her.

“And you’re the only person I felt could really understand that! That’s why I did what I did. I didn’t want to scare you, I just wanted you to see me.”

You wanted a drink of something. Your throat dry in that cold weather. God, how a whiskey would be nice. Just one glass. Maybe two. Why not? You asked Sana to serve you a little more of that damn Coke. Your eyes were a little heavy, the train of thought slightly losing the objective.

Oh, more questions…

"you were bluffing when you invited me to your cabin, correct?"

"That's right. I knew you would never agree to go there with me. My real plan was to have dinner together, and slowly I would explain everything to you. Like now."

“But Sana, I need you to explain to me: if there’s no other cabin, where the hell have you been all this time? I swear to God you were scaring the shit out of me. I went to several lodges but couldn’t get any information about you. Then suddenly you show up here at night like out of nowhere. I hope that psychiatric hospital isn’t really the fucking Xavier Institute.”

“I’ve been here the whole time, silly. Watching you,” hearing that sent chills down your spine. “Sorry, I know it sounded weird. Just kidding. But it’s actually kind of true.”

“Are you a ghost or something?”

“I’ve been hiding in the basement.”

But what the hell is she talking about?

“Sana, this cabin doesn’t have a basement.”

“Did Mr. Goss tell you that?”

Jesus fucking Christ, she never stopped surprising.

“How do you know the name of the former owner?” you asked, trying to disguise the fear on your face.

“The night we slept together… You know I took your phone. I checked everything that might be important. I saw your emails about the cabin documentation and all that. At the same moment, I looked for nearby cabins I could rent, but there were none available. Well, the original listing was still active, it was favorited in your browser. The description didn’t mention anything about a basement, nor did the documentation. Since it was so well camouflaged and without hiring an inspector, you would never find out.

"And how did you know?"

"I was watching that interview you did for Book Tools that happened shortly after our first meeting. You mentioned you were planning to go on vacation and write a bit in nature, but you were going to delay it a month to get better organized."

"I guess I'll never comment on my personal life again. Holy shit..."

"Well, I decided to take advantage of that time and see your cabin before you did. It was easy to find; people gave me information without suspecting a thing. I was researching how to build an even simpler cabin on the other side of the lake for us to be 'together,' and I found information about the history and importance of the cabins in the area on the county's website. Among that, there was a blueprint showing how the cabins were originally designed. Most were built according to this model, and it included the existence of a basement."

"But why did Mr. Goss omit that?"

"After staying in the basement, I have the answer. Down there, you can see some structural irregularities. I think he feared that if they were discovered, they could cause legal problems or decrease the property's value. So, he decided to simply forge the documentation, stating that the basement had been dismantled and no longer existed since doing so for real is quite expensive."

"I could sue that old man for this!"

"I read your conversation with him about the purchase. You said it would just be a retreat for a few weeks. He probably thought that by the time you discovered the truth, he would already be six feet under."

You paused to digest things, refilled your glass of Coke, and downed it in one go. Calmer, you then asked,

"Structural irregularities, huh? That could be dangerous... And with these rains..."

"Despite the irregularities, I think it's safe enough to stay there for a while. You can deal with it later. If it hasn't collapsed before, it won't collapse now."

"That's a spirited way of looking at things."

For some reason, this made her smile.

"Someone has to, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so... Anyway, where's the basement entrance?"

"Under this rug," Sana replied, pointing to the shaggy rug in the living room.

"Of course it would be in the most visible place in the cabin. I feel like an idiot."

"There's an additional exit from the basement that leads directly outside, behind the cabin. It's where the old plumbing system was. It's camouflaged by vegetation, so it's hard to see."

"I really bought Area 51, huh?"

"The rest is no mystery. Through the external exit, I brought in food, blankets, a sleeping bag, clothes, and everything else I needed. I knew the basement had small ventilation openings, so there was enough air to breathe. And most importantly, an outlet to charge my phone."

"Damn! That's why the generator was consuming more than I calculated."

"Er, sorry!" she said, then theatrically bit her lower lip as if that could make up for things. Maybe it could. A little.

"It's been a long day. A long and weird day. But, in a way, it's nice to have you here. I guess."

That seemed to spark something in Sana's mind.

"Really?"

"While I was wandering lost in the forest, I felt strangely alone. I think being stuck here for days would be too lonely for my taste. At some point, I would wish for company."

You smiled at Sana, her eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Since I talked about my past, why don't you tell me a bit about yours? You know, the stuff that never made it into interviews. What might only be revealed in your biography."

"Well, know that you outdid me in the difficult past department. There are some things that were never told. Some painful memories. But it's already very late. How about I tell you tomorrow while we have a picnic by the lake? We need to save some for the next chapters."

"Great idea!" her smile lit up, and at that moment, she seemed like nothing more than a girl to you. "And what kind of story are we writing here?"

"I don't know... I want you to help me figure that out."

"You're... not afraid of me?"

"Not anymore. I think you got what you wanted. Come here."

You opened your arms a bit. Sana, like a wary puppy, gradually gave in and approached. She sat sideways on your lap, slowly, uncertain, looking at your ankle extended on the coffee table.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"No. You can sleep with me in the bed tonight. Or on the couch, if you prefer—"

"In the bed. Please."

"You don't need to do the weird perfume and dress thing anymore. From now on, I want you to just be yourself. Can you do that?"

"Of course! Of course I can! But... you don't hate me anymore? The way you expelled me earlier... The anger on your face... it broke my heart."

"People are strange, Sana," you began, the prelude to a speech you didn't know you were capable of giving, "feelings, they are weird as hell. A single feeling can have a million facets," you explained, and Sana looked at you with a mix of fascination and curiosity. Dangerously adorable on your lap. "The simplest way to see this is to think of a child who, after years of living with their parents, is ostracized for some reason, be it for coming out with their true sexuality or taking a political side contrary to the family's. It's easy to imagine the child's emotional pendulum swinging between love and hate for their parents."

"I think I get the gist of it."

"The point is: I understand what it means to find solace in something to take refuge from the untamed wild world. That's what I did with writing. And, in your case, you found refuge in me. It's our first point of connection."

Sana's hand trembled as it reached your face, her lips pressed together and her eyes shining with tears.

"You're exactly as I imagined," she said in a whisper, the most her voice could manage, as if every cell in her body was working to keep her from falling apart at that moment, "there's no other explanation but fate. It brought us here."

You thought that Sana might have nudged fate a bit to bring things to this moment. But so far, what you had seen of this girl with such a fragile appearance was a tragic and relentless force of nature, so maybe she did have her cosmic connection with destiny.

You brought Sana's face close for an Eskimo kiss. She seemed shy about the gesture but undeniably loved your initiative, and the sensation of her skin against yours, her weight on you, and her warmth enveloping you was irresistibly addictive. Sana's fingers played indiscreetly with your hair, her smile directed at you... When was the last time someone had smiled at you with love? It all felt so pure, so beautiful, so romantically erotic (the privileged view right in front of her neckline, her small and perfectly formed breasts pressing against the fabric) and so, so good. God couldn't be testing you, could He? Because, well, this was beyond any human limits.

Her eyes marked your mouth as a target, but she couldn't go further because what preceded the desire was a need to affirm something greater.

TOUCH ME

KISS ME

The words that flew like magic into your ear that night, now implied by a thread of feeling. You were kissing Sana, rediscovering that the truth can be a sweet ruin or, perhaps, she was the last soul to fill your emptiness. The kiss started gentle but soon intensified, becoming a deep and wet exploration. Each movement of your tongues carried the urgency of months of repressed desire. Mutual. The way Sana's lips molded to yours, the slight pressure and shared moisture creating an almost chemical reaction that could lead to combustion. Your fingers intertwined in her brown hair while Sana's fingers traced soft lines on your nape, sending shivers down your spine. She moved closer, pressing her breasts against your chest as your tongues intertwined, exploring and teasing. Her taste was a refreshing mix of sweetness and desire, an intoxicating combination that made your heart race.

Suddenly, you felt her lips open a bit more, and her tongue slid into your mouth with a firm motion. She started sucking on your tongue, pulling it gently into her mouth, creating a warm, wet suction that sent waves of pleasure straight to your core. The sensation was almost overwhelming, indescribable, indeed. Sana could leave a writer speechless. But the fact was that every movement of her tongue created a deeper connection, a current of desire that seemed to run directly to your cock.

"Your taste is delicious. I've missed it. It makes me want more, so much more," Sana whispered against your lips, fatally beautiful as a thread of saliva spontaneously trickled down her chin.

Sana's eyes were closed, her face surrendered to the pleasure of the moment as she did a perfect job driving you crazy. Each time she sucked your tongue, you felt a pull in your stomach, an almost primal need to fuck her hard in response to what she was doing to you.

Sana moaned softly, her sweet sounds of pleasure resonating against your lips, increasing your arousal, your hands gripping her delicate waist firmly, as if fearing she might escape. But Sana had no intention of going anywhere. She wanted to carnally explore every part of you.

You pulled her body closer, your hands sliding over the smooth curves of her back until you reached the firmness of her ass, soft through the texture of her dress, squeezing it shamelessly, feeling Sana's response in a muffled moan.

She released your tongue for a moment, just to murmur against your lips: "I want your cock fucking my tight pussy soon. It's getting so wet for you, my love."

"You have no idea what you're doing to me," you murmured, your voice husky, your mind... completely devastated by her.

"Oh, I do," she replied, a smile of pure satisfaction on her lips before diving back into your mouth. And in that moment, with Sana sucking your tongue with an almost painful precision, you knew you were totally, irrevocably surrendered to her.

"Now... Is this real? This time, is it real?" Sana asked, as if speaking of a distant dream, her eyes half-closed in pleasure and longing.

"It's damn real," you replied, feeling your heart race uncontrollably. "I can't resist you anymore."

Sana shifted position, slowly sliding to face you, her legs delicately wrapping around your hips. Her eyes met yours, and the lascivious and determined gleam in them was unmatched. She began to move her hips in a slow, sensual rhythm, pressing against your cock. By then, it was painfully hard inside your pants, throbbing with expectation.

Sana moved closer to your ear, her voice low and sweet, whispering: "I can feel how much you want me." Her hot breath against your skin. The smile... completely disloyal.

"What you're doing to me," you groaned, your voice heavy with desire, "is more than I can bear."

You couldn't hold back any longer, and with eager hands, you pulled Sana's small breasts out of her dress. Her nipples were hardened, inviting, and you couldn't resist. With your hands, you gently squeezed them, feeling the soft yet firm texture. You teased them with your thumbs, playing, provoking. Your mouth soon found her nipples, and you sucked on them, nibbling gently, each movement drawing moans of pleasure from Sana. She arched her back, pressing her breasts against your mouth, wanting more.

"Oh, yes... like that," she moaned, holding your head against her breasts. "Mmm, you suck so well."

"You're so hot," you murmured against her skin, the words coming out between kisses and nibbles. "I want to devour you whole."

Your desire to mark that moment as yours came to the surface and, terribly vulgar and perhaps even pretentious, you tilted your head and sucked on Sana's neck, leaving a visible mark, tasting the salty flavor of her sweaty skin.

"You're mine," you whispered, your voice full of possessiveness, you noticed, "that's a fucking fact now."

Then a smile escaped your lips. Acidic and ironic, ricocheting right back at you.

"What is it?" Sana asked with a curious giggle.

"Nothing," you replied, avoiding mentioning that you saw the current moment as a contemporary and subversive erotic reenactment of the myth of Hermaphroditus.

Sana, equally possessive, marked you too. She bit and sucked on your skin, leaving marks that affirmed her possession. The sensation of her teeth against your skin was undeniably pleasurable pain.

Finally, Sana got off your lap and grabbed your cock, a gesture that could only mean one thing. You unbuttoned your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear, just enough to free your cock from the terrible web of fabrics imprisoning it. The excitement in Sana's eyes increased, and she lay back on the couch, a look of satisfaction on her face.

She started giving you a blowjob, moving her mouth skillfully and intensely. Her lips wrapped around your cock, her tongue exploring every inch. She began with slow, deliberate movements, teasing every throbbing vein. Each suction, each slide of her small tongue was a reminder that you were alive, that you were touching the edge of paradise.

"You're incredible," you groaned, throwing your head back, your voice full of pleasure. "Keep going... don't stop."

She used her hands to stimulate what she couldn't reach with her mouth, alternating between fast and slow movements. Sana then began to play with your balls, licking and sucking, alternating between gentle caresses and intense pressure.

"Oh, Sana... that's so good," you groaned, feeling the pleasure course through your body.

She looked at you, her eyes shining with desire and satisfaction. "I want to make you cum hard," she whispered, returning to sucking your cock with renewed intensity, while her hands continued to caress your balls. "I want you to fuck me so badly," she said, looking at you with a mix of desire and determination. "Let's end this wait."

"Fuck, let's!" you replied, knowing that surrendering to her had been your best decision in a long time.

You moved to the bedroom. With your fucked ankle, you knew some positions would be challenging, but the latent desire surpassed any pain. Slowly, you began to undress. Sana, noticing your difficulty, knelt in front of you, with a terribly indecipherable look. She unbuttoned your pants with deliberate sensuality, her fingers brushing against your skin, making your entire body shiver.

"Leave it to me," she murmured, sliding down your pants and underwear. On another occasion, with another person, you might have felt embarrassed, but this time it seemed so... normal? The last time you had shared this level of transparency and vulnerability had been with your ex-wife. Although only at the beginning of the relationship. Soon everything got so... strange.

After Sana helped you slide your injured leg into your pants, you managed to finish the rest yourself. Completely undressed, you kissed her deeply and lovingly, then slid both straps of her dress off her slender shoulders at once. The fabric rippled as it slid down on its own, revealing the beautiful artwork that was Sana's petite, half-naked body. The only piece of clothing that remained, and truly captured your attention, was the cute pair of panties she was wearing.

Totally intentional.

A pink pair of panties, almost innocent in contrast to the fervent passion she was capable of emanating, adorned with a small bow at the front. The thin fabric was damp, a clear evidence of how much she was enjoying the moment.

"You're so fucking hot, Sana," you murmured, your eyes fixed on that small detail that seemed to encapsulate all the desire and tenderness that made up Sana's essence.

She smiled, a shy yet mischievous smile.

"Do you like it?" she asked, her voice filled with sweetness and boldness.

"I love it," you replied, unable to resist her charm, running your fingers delicately over the bow, feeling the softness of the fabric. "And you're so wet," you added, your fingers gliding over the material, feeling her reaction in the slight tremor of her legs.

"That's the effect you have on me," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "And I used to masturbate thinking about you... Always you."

You smiled provocatively and slid your fingers over the fabric of her panties, feeling her dampness increase with each touch. Your mouth began to kiss and lick her belly. With slow and provocative movements, you started rubbing your fingers over the wet fabric, pressing lightly against her clit, without ever removing the panties.

"I can feel how excited you are," you murmured between kisses, your tongue warmed by her heated skin, each touch of your lips sending sparks of pleasure throughout her body. "You like it when I do this, don't you, Sana?"

Sana moaned in response, her hips moving involuntarily against your hand, seeking more friction. "Yes... please, keep going!" she pleaded, her voice trembling with desire.

"You want more?" you asked, already knowing the answer. "You want me to keep teasing you like this?"

"Yes, please," she moaned again, her voice full of need.

You continued to rub your fingers over the wet fabric, pressing harder, faster, until you felt she was completely soaked. The panties were drenched, the moisture trickling down the insides of her thighs.

"I can feel how much you want me," you murmured against her skin, your fingers now sliding along the edge of her panties, pulling them down slightly, just enough to tease but not enough to remove.

Sana panted, her moans loud and filled with pleasure. "Please, don't torture me anymore," she begged, her eyes closed, her head thrown back.

You obliged, finally pulling the panties down, exposing the glistening wetness of her pussy. The musky aroma of Sana filled the air, intoxicating and irresistible.

"You're perfect," you murmured.

"I want to feel you," she whispered, her voice laden with need. "I want you to eat my pussy. Look how creamy it is."

Sana propped her right leg on the bed and with two fingers she opened her tight pussy, and it was so delicious, so perfect, so, indeed, creamy.

In a moment of pure synchronicity, you both lay on the bed, as if connected by a greater bond, and assumed the 69 position. Sana positioned herself over you, her hot, wet pussy directly over your mouth. You started to lick her hungrily, savoring each moan that escaped her lips. Your tongue explored every fold, every inch, while your hands held her buttocks, pulling her closer to you.

"Yes! Lick my pussy! Just like that," she moaned sweetly.

As you savored Sana's creamy pussy, she enveloped your cock with her mouth, her tongue gliding over the head, mercilessly stimulating your frenulum, causing precum to leak out, which she loved. All the while, her hands massaged your balls, amplifying the sensation to the highest degree.

"Oh, fuck... If you keep doing that, I'm going to cum, Sana," you groaned, unconsciously thrusting your cock slightly into her mouth.

Sana then stopped sucking you and changed position.

"First, I want to cum on your face, love," she said, crawling over you, positioning herself, and opening up in front of your eyes until she finally sat on your face, her pussy now completely accessible to your tongue and mouth. You held her hips, guiding her movements as she began to grind against your face. Your tongue explored every inch, while your fingers caressed the insides of her thighs.

"I want you to lick me until I cum," she whispered, her voice trembling with excitement.

"I'm going to make you cum so hard," you murmured, your lips and tongue moving with precision against her.

Sana moaned loudly, moving her hips more intensely, pressing herself against your mouth. Her moans were loud and filled with pleasure, her body experiencing small spasms.

"Fuck, you're so good at this," she moaned, her eyes closed, the tension increasing.

Your tongue moved faster, firmer, each movement bringing her closer to climax. She held your head tightly, her fingers tangling in your hair, as her moans grew louder, more desperate.

"I'm almost there," she panted, her body entirely sweaty. "Don't stop, please, don't stop!"

With one last firm move of your tongue, you brought her to climax. Sana screamed with pleasure, her entire body trembling as she came intensely, her juices covering your mouth and face. You continued to lick her softly, helping to prolong her orgasm, savoring every moment.

"You're amazing," she murmured, still panting, that inherent satisfaction of making a girl cum taking over you.

Recovering, Sana slid down again. She began to ride you slowly, her movements erotic and calculated, each rise and fall rhythmic and sound. She leaned forward, her breasts bouncing as she increased the pace.

"You're so sexy," you groaned, holding her hips, helping her keep the rhythm. "Keep going, princess, don't stop."

She increased the speed, her entire body working to bring both of you to ecstasy. Her pussy tight around your cock, the heat and friction creating an indescribable sensation.

"Oh yes, Sana. Fuck me harder," you murmured, your voice hoarse with pleasure.

"I'm gonna cum... fuck, I'm gonna cum on your cock," she screamed, her movements frantic, her pussy pulsing around you as she reached orgasm, trembling with pleasure.

She collapsed on top of you, her head resting on your chest. You gently brushed a sweaty strand of hair from her face. Until then, you hadn't noticed how beautiful she was without makeup. You kissed the top of her head, a gesture she returned with equal passion by kissing your chest, saying: "I love you so much."

The room was dark, except for a soft light coming from the living room filtering through the half-open door, enough for you to see the sparkle in her eyes when she finally looked at you.

You didn't say anything. Words were unnecessary now. Instead, you let your hands do the talking, tracing the contours of her body, every curve, every perfect imperfection. She mumbled something inaudible against your chest, and you felt a smile form on your lips despite the fatigue.

She raised her head, her gaze serious but with a spark of something untamed. "Don't leave me," she pleaded, as if that were a real possibility. You smiled, kissing her lips, soft and prolonged, a kiss that promised much more than simple words could.

"I'm not going anywhere," you replied, the certainty in your voice unwavering.

You nestled close to her side, you behind her, your injured leg resting. You entered her again, slowly, savoring every inch that went in and out. She leaned back, allowing you deeper access. Your hands caressed her breasts, playing with her nipples as you fucked her from behind.

"Sana... I'm falling in love with you," you murmured, your voice laden with a strange possessiveness and love, a love you never imagined you could feel. But the act of kissing Sana's shoulder so tenderly while penetrating her could mean nothing but passion.

"You are my everything," she moaned, her voice trembling with pleasure.

You gripped her hip tightly, your thrusts becoming faster and more intense. The sound of your bodies colliding was erotic and highly stimulating.

"You're so tight... so wet," you confessed in her ear, your breath ragged. "I'm gonna cum, Sana."

"Cum, baby. Cum for me," she begged, her moans loud and filled with desire.

Feeling your climax approaching, you pulled out of her. Sana quickly knelt by the edge of the bed, looking at you with intense anticipation and lust., ready to receive your cum. You sat on the edge of the bed and started masturbating quickly, the sight of her so exciting that you were soon on the verge of orgasm.

"Cum for me," she whispered, her voice soft but urgent.

"I'm gonna cum," you groaned, your voice hoarse with pleasure and urgency. Sana smiled wickedly, knowing exactly what you needed.

"I want to feel you cum on my face," she whispered, her voice dripping with lust. "I want to taste you."

The sight of Sana waiting eagerly, her eyes fixed on you, made your cock throb even more. You sped up your strokes, your movements fast and precise, while she watched you, her hand casually caressing your balls.

"I want all your cum on my face, baby."

You felt the pressure building, each movement of your hand bringing you closer to climax. The moans intensified, your muscles tensing as the pleasure built to an inevitable crescendo. Sana looked intently, adorably seductive, ready to receive every drop from you.

When the orgasm finally hit, it was like an explosion. You let out a deep groan, almost a scream, as your body convulsed with pleasure. The first spurt of cum hit her face. Sana moaned with satisfaction, her eyes closed as she felt the warmth of your semen spreading across her skin.

"Oh yes, just like that," she murmured, her voice full of delight. "Cover my whole face." You continued to masturbate, each spasm sending more jets of cum onto her face, while she used her fingers to spread it, mixing it with the sweat still glistening on her skin. She opened her mouth, her tongue out to taste what she could, her eyes half-closed with pleasure.

"Wow! Fuck! that was fucking amazing," you groaned, reason slowly returning to your mind, your eyes fixed on the erotic painting in front of you.

When the spasms finally subsided, you stopped, panting. Sana looked at you, a smile of pure satisfaction on her lips, her face gleaming with your cum. She licked her lips, savoring the taste.

With a mischievous smile, you couldn't resist and, holding the base of your still-sensitive cock, started rubbing it on her face, spreading the cum already covering her skin. Sana closed her eyes, moaning softly as you slid the head of your cock over her cheeks, forehead, and lips, marking her completely.

"Yes, baby, rub that big hard cock on me," she murmured, her voice full of satisfaction. You rubbed slowly, savoring every moment, feeling the heat and moisture of her skin against your cock. Sana opened her mouth, licking the head of your cock, tasting the mix of your semen and sweat. You let out one last muffled groan, terribly sensitive.

"You look so hot like this, covered in my cum."

"I’m better than your ex-wife, aren’t I?"

"In ways that are immeasurable, princess," you murmured, your voice heavy with lust.

She smiled at your compliment.

"I guess I better wash my face before I go completely blind," Sana commented, her eyes half-closed. "Want to shower with me?"

"Sure! I- uh, I'll need your help anyway," you said, looking at your messed-up ankle.

"With me here, you don't have to worry, silly."

After the bath, the curiosity to see what the basement was like was obvious and natural. There was no way to resist such a mystery, and Sana, still a little shy about the somewhat... reckless action, revealed the secret room to you. She pulled the rug, and to your surprise, there was nothing there.

“It’s really a secret passage because I can't see anything.”

“It’s very well disguised. Mr. Goss did a good job camouflaging it. Look, the trapdoor is framed in a way that it blends perfectly with the surrounding floor. Covered by the shaggy rug, it’s almost impossible to see with the naked eye, especially since the edge aligns with the floorboards, without any protrusion or visible handle.”

“Yeah, I see. Or rather, I don’t see a damn thing!”

“There’s a small opening that can only be accessed if you know exactly where to look. I used a thin blade like this one to lift one of the wooden boards where there’s a small concealed groove. Once I knew that, it was easy to open the trapdoor and hide down there.”

And that’s how she did her magic. You really would have died without knowing about that damn basement. Once the trapdoor was opened, there was an old wooden staircase leading down to a kind of concrete room; although previously neglected, it now seemed like a carefully arranged refuge, perfectly ready to secretly shelter someone. Sana helped you down the creaky and worn wooden steps, a slight and cold humidity pervading the air below, common in places that rarely see sunlight. However, the signs of a recent attempt to make the space habitable were evident in every corner.

The concrete walls, probably once gray and mold-stained, had been partially cleaned. Though still rough and marked by time, they were now free of superficial dirt, and some parts had been covered with old, worn but colorful tapestries, adding a touch of warmth and humanity to the environment. The cement floor had been meticulously swept, and a large, thick rug had been placed in the center, providing a more comfortable and insulated surface than the cold concrete.

In one corner of the basement, there was an improvised bed made up of a sleeping bag, washed cotton sheets, and a wool blanket to face the cold nights. Next to the bed, a book whose title you couldn’t read from where you stood, an almost finished open bag of chips, and a (possibly dry) can of iced tea, although you doubted Sana had actually drunk it cold.

Lightly rusted metal shelves leaned against the walls, housing provisions and essentials like canned food and bottles of water. Some clothes were carefully folded in one corner of the shelves, with some sanitary pads nearby. A small wooden chest with a rusty lock held Sana’s personal belongings.

“How did you bring all this down here?” you asked, astonished.

“It took time, but I’m patient.”

On the opposite side, an improvised washbasin with a metal bowl and a water jug for basic hygiene offered a minimum of comfort. Clean towels hung on improvised hooks, and a cracked but still functional mirror was fixed on the wall above the basin.

“Please don’t tell me you-”

“No way! I was using the cabin’s bathroom,” she replied preemptively. “I was mindful of your schedule, and even though you take a long time to fall asleep, once you’re out, nothing wakes you up.”

A small oil heater was strategically placed to combat the cold that seeped in at night through the concrete floor and thick walls, probably responsible for secretly consuming the generator’s fuel. Next to it, a simple wooden chair and a small table offered a place to sit and perhaps write or read, with a few books carefully stacked beside it.

Despite the age and condition of the basement, Sana’s effort to make it habitable was commendable. Every detail, every item carefully placed, reflected her urgency and care, a diligent effort to transform the basement into something minimally livable.

“This is absurd as hell, Sana. Completely insane… But... Well, I’m glad you won’t be sleeping here anymore. There weren’t any bugs, were there?”

“Thank God, no! When I cleaned, I only found cobwebs and abandoned moth cocoons. I couldn’t have stayed here if there were bugs. Ew!”

You managed a slight smile. It was funny to think that despite being calculating, methodical, and patient, mere insects scared her. No one was really safe from that irrational fear thing.

“Alright then! You’d better take all your stuff up,” you said. “I can’t think of any use for this basement. In a future renovation, maybe I’ll just close it up and fulfill what’s written in the document.”

“Nah, you should just reinforce the foundation and keep the basement,” Sana suggested, moving closer for a hug. “You never know when you might need a little place to store something.”

You two were in bed. Sana, with your MacBook on her lap, was deciphering the draft of the first chapter of what might become your next novel. Untitled, without a definite form. She liked what she read, unraveling the unfinished subtleties that challenged the conventions of the genre. Letting her read the draft was a huge gesture, an exposure comparable to sex. And she knew that. She knew everything about you, after all. It was your goodwill gesture, a sign that you were open to her, willing to make this relationship stable, serious, healthy.

You had gone to the bathroom to brush your teeth. When you returned, Sana followed your steps with her eyes, waiting for you to lie down beside her again to ask:

"Promise you won't give up on me?"

"I promise. Sana, you're already strong on your own for having endured everything you have. And from now on, you can count on me to support you too. We'll break the circle together."

"You're everything I dreamed of and more," she said, hugging you, giggling.

"And you're an unexpected but very welcome gift," you comforted her in your arms. She was incredibly cuddly and emotional, which wasn't a bad thing. "So, I think we better sleep to enjoy the picnic tomorrow," you said, pulling Sana to snuggle into the pillow with you. "Damn, I'm completely exhausted, and it's partly your fault."

She giggled.

"And there's much more to come, Mr. Writer," Sana commented, turning off the lamp. "We can sweat a little tomorrow at the lake, if you know what I mean."

You fell asleep earlier than you imagined. Sana kept talking in your ear, excited about everything (you couldn't blame her), her words dissolving into the darkness. Her sweet, serene voice fading as you drifted off.

A perfect way to fall asleep, you thought, before slipping into slumber.

Then a scream sliced through the night like a blade, cutting the silence and your eardrums. Sharp and piercing. Sana, in a leap that defied logic, turned on the lamp and flew out of bed. Her hands frantically groped the wall, searching for the switch. The raw light illuminated her pale face, wide eyes filled with fear, and trembling hands.

"What's happening?!" you asked, confusion shaking your head.

"Something jumped on me! Some kind of bug!"

Your eyes scanned the room, searching for any sign of movement. Nothing made sense, everything was blurry.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! It jumped on my face. It was cold!" She was on the verge of tears, you on the verge of falling back asleep.

You got up with difficulty, each movement sending jolts of pain through your injured ankle. Your eyes fixed on the nightstand, where a small dark green figure stood on the right edge, like an unexpected sentinel.

"I see it."

"What is it?! You have to kill it!"

"It's just a small frog."

"You need to get it out of here!"

"I saw it before. It came in through a crack. I bought some duct tape to seal the hole, but I forgot to do it."

"It can't stay here!"

"Are you afraid?"

"It might jump on me again at any moment."

You laughed, a rough, low sound, almost a release of relief. You understood what she was going through, that primal terror of being attacked by something unknown in the middle of the night.

“Why are you laughing? That's not funny!”

"Hey, don't worry, this little guy won't disturb my girl's sleep anymore."

Slowly, almost ridiculously slowly, you walked around the bed, each step a struggle against the pain. You approached the small invader, the frog, still and cold. When you tried to touch it, it jumped straight onto your neck, like a biological missile. Sana let out a high-pitched scream, as if the frog had jumped on her.

"It's okay," you said, trying to calm her, but Sana was already at the door, ready to flee, eyes fixed on you as if you were her last safe harbor.

You approached the window, opened it, and a cold breeze hit your face, refreshing. Carefully, you removed the frog from your neck, feeling its cold, moist texture against your skin. You held it in your hand, offering it the vastness of the night outside.

"Go live a little," you said, with a flick of your hand, watching the frog leap to freedom. "It's all good now," you said, turning to Sana. "We can go back to sleep. In the morning I'll seal the crack."

"God, I think I hate frogs now."

You laughed again, a laugh that was both relief and exhaustion. The room finally sank back into silence, except for the soft sound of your breathing and Sana's, slowly returning to normal. Tomorrow, you thought, tomorrow you'll deal with the crack, but for now, the only thing that mattered was that she was safe and the terror had been expelled. And you... Fuck, you could get some sleep.

In the kitchen, you were busy packing the picnic basket, feeling a strange happiness performing such a mundane task. It had been a while since you felt this way — almost like a young boy again, experiencing the thrill of a new romance. Everything would be different now. Fuck solitude, you would be happy alongside someone. And a simple yet significant action representing your care for this new relationship was in this picnic basket you organized. Every sandwich carefully wrapped, the biscuit container tightly sealed, each juice bottle adjusted, and the bowl of fresh grapes waiting for a decision...

You both believed that your ankle would indeed be 100% recovered in about a week or less. Fortunately, the damage wasn't that bad. Until then, you would walk supported by a broken broom handle, pretending it was the staff of an old monk in a cabin with satellite Wi-Fi.

In the bedroom, Sana stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her earrings with an untimely smile. The morning was heavily overcast, threatening rain, but you both were counting on some weather support for a few hours, and although the day wasn't bright, Sana was. Ready for a perfect day with you.

Everything, absolutely everything, seemed to be in place.

As she turned slightly to check her look from different angles, your phone on the dresser lit up with a notification. The flashing light caught her attention. Curious, she leaned in to see the message on the notification bar.

And then her world crumbled. The smile melted away from her face like hot wax. Everything around her slowed down.

You called out from the kitchen, almost singing: "Sana, what do you think? Should I take grapes or not?”

Her eyes widened instantly as she read the message, and for a moment, everything around her disappeared, leaving only a cold void. The happiness she felt evaporated, the fog in the forest remained.

In the back of Sana's mind, the read message echoed like a dark warning:

"Dude, stay away from that girl!!"

"My brother found out some creepy shit about her"

"Btw her real name isn't even Sana 💀”

You asked again from the kitchen, your voice sounding distant, almost like an echo:

"So, Sana? Grapes or not?"

She took a deep breath. She was a battlefield between panic and forced calm. The messages were deleted with fingers that didn't want to believe what they had just read, while she replied with a voice that could barely stay steady:

"Yes, take the grapes! I love grapes!"

She turned to the mirror again, but the image she saw was no longer the same. The sparkle in her eyes had disappeared; it was just the reflection of someone. It could hardly be called a face.

A mask.

A mask desperately trying to stay calm.

She put the phone back where it was, making sure the messages were indeed deleted and the sender blocked. Something would have to be done soon. She forced herself to smile again in front of the mirror to see if she could maintain it. But a crack slowly widened in her mind, threatening to shatter all the false stability she had built.

She left the bedroom, walking towards the kitchen with hesitant steps, trying to maintain composure. There you were, waiting, with the picnic basket in your hands and an expression of affection that now seemed almost cruel to her eyes.

As she approached, she simulated a smile, everything buried behind her beautiful brown eyes. She greeted you with a quick kiss and casually asked:

"Did you remember to put the strawberry jam in the basket, honey?"

#kpop smut #male reader #male reader smut #smut #smut male reader #x male reader #x male smut #x male y/n #twice sana smut #sana angst #sana minatozaki #sana minatozaki x reader #gg smut #twice smut #m!reader #smut series #smut and angst

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jyotishdiaries · 2 months ago

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Dharma 🕊

I realized while writing one of my posts, that I talk a lot about dharma. I want to make sure everyone understands what that means.

In Vedic astrology, Dharma is your soul’s path. It's the right action aligned with your nature, purpose, and growth, and alignment. When you live your dharma, life tends to flow. When you fight it, things often feel blocked or off-track. Think about the times when your direction just feels wrong, but you can't explain why.

In Vedic thought, human life is said to be guided by four goals:

Dharma (Purpose)— Right action, truth

Artha (Resources)— Material security, wealth, income

Kama (Desire) — Pleasure, fulfillment, love

Moksha (Liberation) — Freedom from worldly attachment, spiritual release :)

Dharma comes first. Without it, the rest are unstable. It’s the foundation.

The Dharma houses are:

1st house – self, identity, birth karma, physical body. "Who am I?"

5th house – intelligence, creativity, children, past-life merit. "What do I express?"

9th house – higher learning, spiritual direction, gurus, blessings. "What do I believe in?"

Dharma is the foundation of life purpose — without it, we struggle to form a stable identity (1H), create meaningful legacies like children or art (5H), or pursue higher knowledge that elevates the soul (9H).

If these houses (and their lords) are strong, you often have a clearer sense of purpose. If they’re challenged, you may go through more cycles of confusion or redirection before aligning with your dharma. You may have noticed it yourself that some people know from a very young age what they want in life vs. others that often struggle with confusion about their purpose.

Key Indicators of Dharma:

A strong 1st, 5th, or 9th house or their lords

Benefic planets like Jupiter or Sun placed in these houses

Trinal lords (1/5/9) connected to each other

A well-placed Atmakaraka (soul indicator, It shows your soul’s primary lesson in this lifetime)

Navamsa (D9) chart that supports dharmic planets like Jupiter, Sun, or lagna lord. D9 shows your soul’s evolution. It often activates more fully after age 30–36, after people have learned things - about themselves, about others, about the world around them.

Dharma ≠ Career

Dharma can include your career, but it’s not limited to what you do for money. You could be a lawyer, a teacher, an artist, or a parent and your dharma could be expressed differently in each.

Dharma is more about the kind of impact you’re meant to make, the karmas you came to resolve, and the truths you’re here to embody.

Finding Your Dharma

You can’t miss your dharma. Even detours are part of it. But here are 3 tips to help you get closer to it:

Track your Atmakaraka journey. It's the planet you’re being shaped by.

Look at the 9th house in D1 and D9. This is the seat of dharma (higher learning, beyond traditional education haha)

Pay attention to what keeps calling you back. Your dharma often repeats itself or calls you again and again until you align with it.

If you’ve ever seen me refer to dharma in my answers, I hope this post helps you understand the framework I’m speaking from.

I grew up in a Vedic culture where this was part of daily life, so I may use it naturally, but I also want to honor that others may be encountering it for the first time. Thank you for your lovely questions, as always 🤍

#jyotish #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #astrology #dharma #artha #kama #moksha

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baldheadsnake · 3 months ago

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Gojo's six eyes :

1. Six Eyes in Buddhism & Esoteric Practices and how Gojo might be using it :

The six eyes is a powerful technique of the Gojo clan and after a 100 years Gojo Satoru inherited it. Since this is going to be a bit of long post, I am directly jumping into the content.Remind ya that this is just a theory of mine surrounding the mythology and I have divided this into two: A and B.

GeGe seemed to be very inspired by buddhist and hindu mythology and philosophy. Buddhism talks about multiple eyes as some "divine" vision or sometimes even as "cursed" (like the demons depicted in folkfore or even sukuna who also has multiple eyes but considered cursed) but given it's Gojo and it was a powerful and inheritable rare technique of that clan,it could be seen divine and godly. In Buddhism the six eyes can be used to see different realms,past, present and future and even through other dimensions.

A. The "Divine Vision" of Six Eyes

In Buddhism, multiple eyes often symbolize enhanced perception, wisdom, and supernatural insight. The concept of six eyes could relate to:

Heavenly Eye (天眼, Tengan) → Sees past, present, and future. Idk if this applies to Gojo,I am on a 50 50,if Gojo could see the past , present and even future,he must have been able to see what Geto will become and stop it,or atleast see Sukuna's plans with Megumi or even Nanami's death. But at the same time I think he uses to see the past,in S2 we see Gojo waking up with eyebags and it goes to his past with Geto and their mission to find and bring the star plasma vessel safely,So I think he uses it to see his past and we were actually seeing those from Gojo's perspective.

Wisdom Eye (慧眼, Eigan) → Sees the true nature of reality. I believe this eye could be the main reason that Gojo seemed "very matured" in his childhood,seeing the reality of world,seeing through the souls,both the malevolent and benevolent,seeing through the trickeries and people's intentions combined with the active threats from curse users and isolation from own parents and peers,could have made him a being with no childhood innocence,cause he literally saw the reality of the world at the first day he came into the world and there is probably no innocence to lose for him.

Dharma Eye (法眼, Hōgan) → Understands Buddhist teachings deeply. As this says, it's for spiritual learning purpose. To understand buddhist teachings,texts about sorcery, cursed techniques etc.

Buddha Eye (仏眼, Butsugan) → The highest form of enlightenment.Maybe he opened this eye in his enlightenment moment? (Idk,if any of you'll have any theories,pls comment).

Fleshly Eye (肉眼, Nikugan) → A normal eyes like us,with this eyes he probably sees the surrounding like us.

Demonic Eye (魔眼, Magan) → The ability to see spirits, curses, and hidden forces. With this eye, Gojo can see curses,spirits,cursed techniques and even cursed energy flowing from any object or person.

Or Having six eyes could be a metaphor for a being that can see through all illusions, including spiritual realms, karma, and fate,but I am still confused and I can't find anything in jjk supporting the next one but I just wanna share:

B. Six Eyes & The Six Realms of Existence

The Six Realms of Rebirth (六道, Rokudō) in Buddhist cosmology:

1. Deva (Heavenly beings) Realm – Gods, demigods, celestial beings.

2. Asura (Demigod) Realm – Warlike spirits, beings of arrogance and jealousy.

3. Human Realm – The world of humans, where enlightenment is possible.

4. Animal Realm – Beings driven by instinct and suffering.

5. Preta (Hungry Ghost) Realm – Spirits suffering from unquenchable desires.

6. Naraka (Hell) Realm – A place where sinners suffer extreme punishments.

A six-eyed being may be able to see into all six realms, understanding karma, spirits, and curses. This would make them feared as an exorcist, oracle, or demon. If Gojo could see all this realms at the same time,no wonder it could be exhausting for him and he prefers to use a blindfold.

So that's all I could collect for six eyes,I slightly lean towards the first theory but maybe I would make a part 2,for the latter theory I said.

I am getting obsessed with these Chibi figures 😭😭😭

#sukuna #jjk analysis #gojo satoru #jjk meta #Gojo analysis #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #jjk theory #six eyes

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talonabraxas · 3 months ago

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Kali ॐ Talon Abraxas

Tantric Astrology ♄

There are several ways of understanding the planets in our charts such as palmistry, tarot, the Qabbalistic tree of life, etc. All of these systems are excellent but I wanted to introduce you all to a more physical and systematic method of astrology that uses yantras, the bodily processes, and the very primordial teachings of the tantras that can help you get better at astrology and find patterns and associations in the mundane life.

Tantric astrology is the esoteric and hidden branch of astrology practiced within a small number of lineages in the South of India specifically Sri Kula and Kali Kula (the lineages that worship the Goddesses Lalita Tripurasundari and Maha Kali). Although, the presiding deity and ruler of Tantric astrology is Maa Kali and it is through her blessing we can begin our journey into learning more about this mind-blowing astrological technique. Even with the basics, you will be able to correct a lot of your karmas and remediate afflictions in your chart.

Lord Shiva is the vessel through which Shakti flows which is why he is known as Shaktimaan because he's the boundary in which Shakti revels and enjoys her play which also makes Shiva the passive enjoyer and observer of the play. The Goddess Kali represents the primordial soup, the nakedness and ink-black darkness of the universe that pre-existed Shiva as Para-Shakti, and then through him as a medium, she came into becoming, traversing and permeating the cosmos. She wears the 52 letters of Sanskrit around her neck as they represent different facets of herself (Fun fact: there is not a single sound discovered outside the Sanskrit alphabet.) Maa Kali becomes an important aspect of tantric astrology due to her natural ability to control the 8th house of occult and the hidden aspects of life.

ॐ ह्रौं काली महाकाली किलिकिले फट् स्वाहा॥

In Shakta tradition, it is believed that the cosmos came into being through the will/desire (iccha) of the Goddess to learn more about herself (jnana/knowledge) and so she created the complex universe and all of its beings, objects, and abstract concepts (kriya/action) to discover herself and her highest potential which is why kindness, love, and empathy towards all beings is core to all religions because it is a recognition of the divine in everything.

All of these three forms of Shakti exist within us and are operating at different levels. If you're giving exams, the truth of your knowledge is being tested (Jupiter-Saturn combination). If you're clocking into your job, you're doing your duty and following the dharma (Sun-Saturn combination).

Here's a brief explanation of the triangle and what the 3 main planets represent:

Planets that have a concentration of the Shaktis:

Saturn -Iccha: In the Mahavidya system, Maa Kali is represented by the planet Saturn as she is the Shakti of Time (Kala meaning time) and time is the only thing that cannot be controlled by anything. Time is also the ever-present, the permanent thing that brings so many life changes hence it is related to the Will or Desire to be or do anything. A healthy Saturn is not helpless and does not feel constrained by its responsibilities. A badly functioning Saturn often has a hard time controlling its desires, is egotistical, and can resist law and traditions which can make it difficult for the native to achieve their desires. To strengthen your Will, you can chant the root chakra Beeja mantra 'Lam' every day at least 1000 times per sitting.

Lagna/Ascendant -Jnana: The Goddess Bhairavi is the concentration of the highest levels of knowledge which is why in Tantra, a female adept is known as Bhairavi (she who is awe/terror-inspiring) for she, just like a newborn is pure but can alchemize the world around Her. The ascendant holds all of our potential and happiness for it is the current karma/action we will take which is why it becomes so important to be knowledgeable to make the best decisions in life. Jnana becomes useful when it is applied appropriately and correctly. An unafflicted ascendant gives purpose, happiness, health, and the motivation to achieve goals but an afflicted one often makes a person a little directionless and they find it hard to manifest their desires into reality which relates to:

Sun -Kriya: Kriya means completed action, it is the fulfillment of Iccha and the use of Jnana to reach a particular goal. In the Mahavidya system, the Goddess Matangi rules over the Sun due to her being Vaikhari Vak Shakti (The speech that has already been uttered.) Sun represents Kriya due to his ability to continuously create and be it is when the reality in his mind is projected outwards appropriately and without flaws. This is why it is said that God created us perfectly as we are. A healthy Sun dispels all ignorance, it is creative and gives self-esteem, and the ability to go achieve your desires and follow your will (hence it is exalted in Aries which is the natural ascendant). A weak Sun has low self-esteem, difficulty standing ground, and gives in easily to other people's will. To strengthen the Lagna and Sun, practices such as Surya Namaskar, Linga-Mudra, Bhastrika Pranayama, etc. work very well. These practices also increase the fire element in the body which gives us a natural glow (ojas).

The world is ever-changing based on the will of the great Goddess so nothing is permanent. Similarly, in Tantra, the belief is that our body is a microcosm of the great cosmos with the many Nadis and chakras that work tirelessly to make it work in the best way so it can achieve its goal and the final purpose. Tantric astrology remedies involve everything from fire rituals to yoga techniques to clear the Nadis and ensure a proper flow of energy in the chakras so that they can assist your path to liberation. Remediating the Iccha-Jnana-Kriya triangle is enough to fix a lot of the other planets in your chart because they're the very foundation of everything. Sun is Shiva, Saturn is Kali and the knowledge and creative force that exists between them is the ascendant for it is the truth of our lives.

As the water of the ocean is now calm and next agitated into waves, so are Brahman and Maya. The ocean in the tranquil state is Brahman, and in the turbulent state, Maya.

-Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

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leakyrocktarot · 6 months ago

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Do you have a soulmate?

Yes, but let me tell you about them anyways. Buckle up because this will be a long ass read, get some snacks, something to drink, and cozy up! This post is about the many different types of soul connections!

Disclaimer:

This is my rendition of research and personal experience. I implore you to do your own research!

So, soulmate is just an umbrella term, there are many different types of soulmates and soulmates are not always romantic- I mean who’s to say they’re always human? Soulmates are just that, mates for your soul. Mate means companion, it can be in a romantic/sexual/procreation context like with wolves, or it can just be your best bud. In my opinion, there are fifteen different ways to classify a soulmate which can better help you understand and learn the lesson they are in your life to teach you. The purpose of a soulmate is to carry your soul through a specific experience to aid you on your journey. Everyone has a soulmate, everyone has multiple soulmates, everyone is interconnected through a web of lives, every soul on this earth and past this realm is connected. You could have many soulmates and one person can classify as multiple types of soulmate which is why the term soulmate should be seen as an umbrella term rather than a thing itself. There is nothing that separates us except for the perception of separation, the ego, and the humanness of life. Sometimes we get swept up into someone else's journey, and it sucks, because we may get hurt, which is why the first soulmate type I will be talking about is a Karmic soulmate.

Karmic Soulmates:

A karmic soulmate is someone who comes into your life to teach you hard lessons. The entire purpose of this connection depends on your lessons but they can serve as major teaching moments, or the connection that wrecks you so bad you turn to spirituality to heal. In life, there is duality, as with karma there is dharma, so while someone may be a karmic soulmate, it doesn’t always mean that they will be abusive or bad, just that you will be learning painful lessons through and with them. A karmic will either force you to choose yourself by putting you in terrible situations where you have to either choose yourself or allow yourself to be harmed, or they are going to push you to choose yourself by being in your corner, making you make the hard decisions for yourself. For example, if you have been told since childhood that you’re never good enough but you really want to be a creative person, but the trauma makes you avoid being creative, a karmic person would either try to reinforce that trauma and hurt you more until you retaliate, or they will push you into being creative by calling out you avoidant tendencies. It depends on your personality! Either way, a karmic will always be a hard relationship, purely because it forces you out of your comfort zone, it forces you out of your habits, out of the behaviors you have created in the name of safety or ease that do not serve you, to show you the habits, coping methods, and tactics that you use that actively put you at a disadvantage in life and leave you feeling less than what you deserve. It opens you up to a path you would’ve never considered because of your programming, background, childhood, trauma, etc. It allows you to see another path, different to the one you have always chosen or were taught to choose, allowing you to see more, which brings us to the karmic being a spiritual awakener. Just as they are a lesson for you, you are a lesson for them as well and they could be the precursor to your spiritual journey, even if you are already on one, they could cause you to dive deeper and reawaken for lack of better terms. The Karmic is meant to feel alluring, as though you cannot avoid or get enough of them, they draw you in because they are a destined soulmate, you are drawn to them because you have something you can learn from them. Relationships- romantic wise with a karmic are not known to last, more often than not they are there for a reason and season but, there is a possibility that they can stay for a lifetime as long as no one is going against their purpose or causing the other harm or choosing the other over themself. A Karmic soulmate can be abusive, but they don’t always have to be, the end goal is you choosing yourself and your betterment, not martyring yourself for them, as well as clearing out past life cycles, or karmic debt. We often start off in life with the same cycle that we experienced in the life before that we could not heal in that lifetime as well as the baggage of karma in our past lives that we are meant to heal and release during this current life. With that being said, a karmic can be anyone, it can be your best friend, it can be a parent, it can be a lover, crush, stranger, your pet, literally anything or anyone. You know that person is karmic when you come out of the relationship having either learned a harsh lesson, or experienced harshness from them.

Twin flames:

The most controversial type of soulmate is a Twin Flame. Mhm, yep, get those eyerolls out, yep, done? Great, so! A twin flame is complicated because of how over sensationalized it is in pop culture media. It is seen as the epitome of soulmates, it is idealized as hyperreal love, the goal, often seen as a fantasy version of real life where things are all sunshine and rainbows and happiness, but people forget or are so wrapped up in the idea of finding their perfect half that they forget the intense healing work that comes with twin flame connections. A twin flame is just that- your twin flame lmao. The names are very forward. So twin flames, at least how I understand it, are based on the Greek mythology of the creation of humans. The idea comes from humans having been created with two heads, two hearts, four arms, four legs and in order to sew discourse they were separated, cursed to find their “other half”. Here is the thing, your other half does not exist, you are you, you are a whole, yes you can find someone that matches your freak perfectly (twin flame) but they are not the other half of you. Think of a real life example of duplicates, fusions, they are two whole beings that come together. When you meet twin siblings, they are different people but came from the same source at the same time. When you peel a banana and find two bananas inside, they are two separate beings that came from the same source. Your twin is literally only someone who matches you to near perfection. But, because they are their own being and have lived their own life completely separate to yours, they have vastly different yet somehow oddly similar experiences. They are your true mirror, in the sense that a soulmate is your mirror and mirrors reflect an inverted image, a twin flame shows you who you are in your rawest and naked form. Which is why they are insanely difficult to be in. They show you who you are in the rawest form and when you avoid that, you run from yourself and create disharmony, discord within yourself and the connection. If you are used to running from yourself, avoiding yourself, avoiding your trauma, your mistakes, hating yourself, and you fall in love with someone who is basically your mirror, that forces you to learn to fall in love with yourself and that is a hard task. If you learned to hate yourself for years upon years, to then be face to face with literally a mirror of you, you would resent the parts of you that you see in them at the same time adore those same parts because they are attached to the person you love and again it creates this disharmony with the self. It confuses you until you learn to love yourself, until you heal and come into union with yourself. Many people view the idea of union as meeting your twin flame and starting an instant romantic connection but- no. the laws of nature, the universe, human nature does not allow for that 100% of the time. Oftentimes, coming into union would mean reconnecting with who you are at your core. Ask yourself, if you are in a twin flame connection, what does inner union look like to you? If you are in a twin flame connection, are you putting more emphasis on your partner, who they are, what they represent rather than yourself? The thing is about soul connections is the fact that we often get lost in our companions that we forget the self, to take care of the self. You must not forget that you are part of the equation, you must heal, be open, do not let your ego run your mind and actions. The epitome of twin flames is yin and yang, without balance between the nodes, there will be chaos

Animal Soulmates:

The easiest soul connection to have is an animal soul connection. It is as it is, this is your pet, your best friend, your lil baby lol. It’s when you come across a pet by chance and form a deep bond that is unbreakable and unshakable. This pet will be perfect for you as they would have your exact personality, always be there for you, they match you to a T. the bond is filled with ease and overflowing love and respect for each other. It is akin to a witch and her familiar as they become a part of you that will never leave even if they cross over that rainbow bridge. As you may or may not know, I have a cat, her name is baby and she is 100% my soulmate, she was made for me and I for her as she found me randomly one day and never left my side. I do everything I can for her and she in turn makes me so abundantly happy. Just seeing her cute face can turn a terrible day around.

Soul Partner:

This is probably what you think about when you think of the term "soulmate" and what is seen the most in media. It's the most common, most idealized, most written about, most fantasized type of soul connection. Even with all of that, all it is, is someone who you will spend the rest of your life or a significant portion of your life with. Again, this can be platonic, or romantic. This could be someone you grow up with, someone you marry, someone you start a business with, someone you co parent with, your pet, someone you will be tied to for the rest of your existence even if they were to pass or leave your life. Your soul partner often enters your life to support you emotionally or professionally. We as humans are social creatures, you cannot go through life without ever relying on or interacting with another human, which is why, a soul partner is just that, your emotional support buddy for life! A soul partner is a very basic, simple, and the most common type of soul connection, therefore everyone knows about it but refers to it as a soulmate. The terms are interchangeable, because they mean the same thing and are both umbrella terms for soul connections and soul connections overlap so don't worry about having a clear distinction between the two because they are the same thing.

Soul Tie:

A soul tie is someone that comes into your life for a very specific reason or season. By that I mean, this could be your first love who you date for only a couple of months that teaches you that you know nothing about actually dating someone, or this could be your fifth grade literature teacher that compliments your writing and encourages your talent. A soul tie is the reason why soulmate types overlap because every soul connection you have is for a reason, and that reason is what ties you together. Another example of a soul tie is having a friend that has to move away but can't take their pet with them so you take the pet and that pet becomes the most important thing in your life, or someone you met six weeks ago who introduces you to your twin flame, or that one lover you just can't seem to let go of. Think of the connection as a courier, someone meant to deliver you something or someone and go. They don't often stay for long and are often passing strangers. A soul tie can also refer to spell work, in the sense that someone or something has tied the strings of fate of your souls together into a knot that makes it hard to leave or separate yourself from that person.

Important reminder, not all soulmates are "good" soulmates, some are here to teach you hard lessons.

Past Life Soulmates:

A past life soulmate is exactly as it sounds, a soulmate you were in connection with in a past life. The purpose for past life soulmates returning in this life is often to finish or close out unfinished business or past life cycles. Remember how I said a lot of soulmate types overlap? Well, a past life soulmate is often your karmic, twin flame, or a specific person you promised to reconnect with. First, Karmic soulmates. A past life karmic soulmate is someone you were with in your past life, but one or both of you moved on to this life without closing out the cycles from your past life and are now reenacting/reliving these cycles until you can close them out. Technically a twin flame is and isn't a past life soulmate because they are your souls twin- created at the same time and in likeness of each other. Your twin flame can be your past life soulmate if you were in connection with them in your past life. Now, think of all the times you've promised to meet someone in another life, you've basically created a future life soulmate lmao, that is how you get past life soulmates, by promising to meet someone else in another life.

Romantic Soulmate:

It's as simple as the name, this is someone you have a romantic soul connection to. It is purely to classify non platonic relationships. For example, you could have a completely platonic connection with your twin flame while someone else can have a romantic connection to their twin flame. That does not mean you won't ever feel romantic feelings for your twin flame, it only determines whether or not you will have a long term romantic relationship with them. By long term I mean longer than 3 months. A romantic soulmate is just a soulmate that you will be romantic with, that would be your future spouse, who could also be your soul teacher (another type of soulmate) or anyone who you date.

Plantonic Soulmate:

Again, as simple as it sounds, just another way to further classify your connection with a soulmate. A platonic soulmate ranges to literally everything, your best friend, your mom, your professor, your coworker. It is someone you have a close and profound platonic connection to that affects your life exponentially.

Soul Family and Soul Tribes:

Soul family and soul tribes relate to the found family trope. This is a group of people that are connected to each other in intricate ways. This could be your actual family if you have a tight knit and healthy family, or it could be a group of friends that came together in an unexpected way but have a bond that transcends time and distance. This is and will always be a positive connection, doesn't mean that there won't be any difficulties or discourse in the connection, but it does mean that you will always find a way to mend the bond. It is a strong connection. This could be a community of people you've surrounded yourself with, could be you closest friends and or future partner, if you are polyamorous could be both! The purpose of a soul family/soul tribe is to heal familial traumas, break generational or familial curses, could be from past lives as well. This can be your very distant cousin who is the generational curse breaker of their direct lineage and is your role model, or your diaper mate lmao. More specifically for soul tribes, you can create one, or be inaugurated into one, these connections are often formed with people who have similar goals, and hurts to you. Either way, a soul family or soul tribe is or makes you feel as though you were cut from the same cloth.

Kindred Spirit:

A kindred spirit is technically not a soul connection but it is, but it isn't, let me explain. A kindred spirit is someone who you randomly meet that you can connect with effortlessly, it's as if you have lived the same life, they like what you like, have experienced eerily similar things, have the same dislikes or specifications, same job or talents etc. however they are someone you meet in passing. It could be someone you randomly strike up a conversation with in the grocery store. Often times you meet these people because you are vibrating on the same frequency and that energy draws the two of you together to meet. This person could literally pass as a clone for you, you may look alike (doppleganger) or you may just have very similar lives. For example, you could be married to a pro wrestler, believe that frogs are the meaning to life, have a disdain for tomatoes, and are obsessed with Vincent van gogh and this person would be married to an mma fighter, believe that toads are the meaning to life, absolutely despise tomatillo, and have a blog dedicated to only Leonardo da vinci. It's uncanny similarities that would give "uncanny valley" a run for their money, but just someone you meet in passing, however it is possible to form a bond over the similarities.

Soul contract:

Also not a soulmate type but the reason why you meet certain soulmates. A soul contract is confusing and deep territory that I won't be getting into in this post, however I will only talk about it in relation to soulmates. So when you have a soul contract with another person, it generally means that if certain conditions are met, the two of you will meet in this life to then hash out the terms of said contract. You usually have a soul contract with people who are integral to your souls journey. For example, you could have a soul contract with a karmic partner and in the contract there will be a clause that they are there to teach you a specific thing and once that thing is learned the contract will be fulfilled and you'd be left to do with the relationship as you please, or the agreement to start a business, have a child, literally anything that aligns you with your true purpose. It's a lot more complicated than how I make it seem, it is not a term to be thrown around willy nilly however. It's very confusing and I'm only mentioning it to give insight to soul connections. These contracts are mutable and are constantly changing because whether or not you meet someone hinges on whether or not you have "fulfilled" the terms for lack of better words. Basically, you have to be vibrating on the same frequency to be in connection with certain people and in order to vibrate on that frequency there are things you can or need to do. For clarity sake, not saying this is how it actually is, just for clarity; if you are aware of a specific future partner and that they are vibrating at 78 hertz but you're vibrating at 42 hertz, you need to get to 78 hertz by following a specific path, this could mean healing, or doing a job, it could mean anything that changes the trajectory of your life so that you align with that persons frequency/energy/wavelength and that pulls the two of you together in a way that allows you to cross paths and this would be handled by your guides.

Soul Teacher:

Finally back to the easy and simple soulmate types and explanations! So, a soul teacher is someone who comes int your life to teach you something spiritual which refers to me or other spiritual practitioners. This is the one you're experiencing right now! A soul teacher is someone you meet by chance and they impart life altering knowledge onto you that opens your eyes and changes how you view and move through the world. Sometimes they are only meant to teach you about certain topics, for example about soul connections, or the akashic records, or they can be a full mentor, teaching you about witchcraft, spell work, and deity work! These soul teachers are there to make sure that your soul or you as a person learn something either very specific or a genre of things and can often trick you! By trick you, I mean in a way that will force you to handle a situation differently to how they taught you to further broaden your horizon and what you know. Basically view yourself as Harry Potter interacting with one of the many professors at Hogwarts.

Soul Crossing:

A soul crossing is similar to kindred spirit in the sense that they are someone who enters your life very briskly but opens your eyes to a lot. A soul crossing is someone who is your soulmate through and through but they are only in your life for such a short and sweet time. For example, this could be someone you meet on vacation or on a cruise, you spend so much time together having so much fun but once the cruise is done, they're gone with the wind. This connection can be very sad in the fact that they last so shortly but are so amazing to experience. This is someone you meet purely by chance, often times through a series of unconscionable actions that wouldn't have usually happened, it would literally seem as if the universe randomly brought the two of you together solely for that short time only. this type of connection can usually last for barely a couple of months, sometimes as short as a week. It often feels like a zing from hotel Transylvania but- without the long lasting love lol.

I want to preface what I’m about to say,

Just because you are someone’s soulmate does not mean you are there future partner. Someone can be your soulmate purely because of their effect on you and your soul's journey through this lifetime, just because you are someone’s soulmate does not mean that you will ever meet them nor will there ever be romance involved, nor that there will be or was a lifetime where the two of you were romantically connected. There is no guarantee that you will ever meet all of your soulmates because sometimes, that just isn't in your path, sometimes they are only there to be an influence or inspiration. Remember, soulmate is an umbrella term for someone/something that has a profound presence in your soul's journey.

I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, your cognitive dissonance will deactivate your critical thinking the moment you feel triggered, yes you can be a soulmate to a celebrity, they are people too, they are not gods, or deities, they are human. HOWEVER, just because you feel profoundly connected to a celebrity or idol (looking at you kpop community) doesn’t mean that the connection is romantic. Yes, it is possible that it can be, but that does not give you the right to stalk them, harass their partners, try to force a connection, nor does it gives you the right to act like a pompous douche that's better than everyone just because your soul decided to connect to someone of influence. If it is meant to be, you will not have to force it and should not force it. Forcing yourself to be in proximity with a celebrity (i.e stalking them) just because you think you belong together rather than letting that be in the back of your mind and focussing doing what you are meant to do in life will not make it happen, in fact it will never happen because you refused to do the work and scared the shit out of them, shot yourself in the foot so to speak. If you are on the path to union with a romantic soulmate, there are things that you absolutely need to do and if you try to undermine that, thinking you can use a shortcut, you will be dropped on your ass pretty painfully. The universe has rules to the game and going against them will not win you anything other than harsher lessons. This is NOT the go ahead to start a witch hunt for “fs’s” This is NOT the go ahead to delude yourself into thinking you are a celebrities fs, this is PURELY educational. The "title" of "soulmate" does not give you any special abilities, special powers, it doesn't make you special or different at all it is just a connection. If you think you are a celebrity fs, consider talking to a professional, ensure that you are not experiencing limerence, having a parasocial relationship, feel free to message me if you want to talk or have more questions.

The only reason why I am mentioning this is because we as a society have treated celebrities and have made them out to be monoliths when they are humans too. I feel as though knowledge is very important and anti-intellectualism is on the rise especially in communities where things aren't "verifiable" such as spirituality which makes the content we make and consume either a very powerful or harmful substance. I'd much rather my content be as educational and grounded as possible to free the minds from the boxes we put them in than to uphold societal ideologies that are rooted in toxicity such as classism and beauty standards and further constrict our nature and divinity. I am fully aware that my words have consequences within others, which is why I am very serious and put great consideration and research into what I am saying. I am going to be as careful as possible when I say what I say, however, if you find issue with what I am saying, please feel free to message me and we can have a conversation about it. I decided to add this in last minute because of how the media frames celebrities and how people interact with celebrities and the parasocial relationships it creates.

I may make another post talking purely about this concept because of how highly and nuanced it is and I have so many personal thoughts that I want to share but, this post is only for educational purposes. When you make room to speak about what exists, you no longer have to spend time wondering about everything left unsaid.

Celebrity Soulmates:

Celebrities can be soulmates in the sense that they do impact our lives in some ways. I personally classify a soulmate as someone who has a profound affect on your life path, for example, inspiring you to take a leap of faith. Celebrities are highly influential people and what makes them famous is the affect they have on society, with that being said, having a celebrity be your soulmate is not as weird or as a cringe take as it would seem. To understand what I mean, you'd have to refer to the other types of soulmates. Celebrities, depending on how they affect your life can be seen as a soul tie, a soul teacher, a kindred spirit, a soul crossing. Because we see them in media and often idealize them and their lives are so public, we can learn so much from them. Removing them from the mental pedestal and seeing them as someone who is in the public eye opens you up to learning a lot more from them. For example, Chappell Roan, she is literally just a person, someone who is deserving of respect and having her boundaries respected. But just because she makes music that a lot of people love, her image has gone from a fellow human to this elevated view that is both toxic for the fan and the celebrity. This type of connection is hard to talk about because- I mean you're going to be seen as someone who is mentally unwell. At the end of the day, celebrities are people, but because they are celebrities, a soul connection can be seen as or is nothing more than a parasocial relationship or infatuation.

I'm trying to be as careful as possible with what I say because of the way people tend to be overly attached to and obsessed celebrities to the point of convincing themselves that they're soulmates and it is a dangerous and slippery slope to have that mindset without mindfulness and discernment. Maybe the reason why you're so infatuated with this celebrity is because there is something you can learn from them, either from their life story, or from the content that they create, maybe they're just an outlet or source of comfort to help you get through a rough time. Maybe you come across Kenji and his videos help you get through a nasty divorce, or maybe you come across Hozier's music and it inspires you to create your own content, or you come across CoryxKenshin and he inspires you to go out and make a difference in your community. That is the impact that celebrities often have on people, all without even knowing this is their role in so many lives. I like to think that often times, the reason why people become famous is because they have something or create something that helps the collective in any way and because they have their own lessons to learn. Sometimes, we are unknowingly a huge part in someone else's journey, whether it is positive or negative. I personally believe we come across these specific celebrities or creators because they will have the most impact on our lives and further our journeys. For example, Jay from the Kubzscouts! He has stated the reason why he posts so often is not only because he loves what he does, but also because he grew up watching youtubers and those youtubers being his comfort and he wishes to provide that some comfort to others and he does! Because of that, he inspired so many other people including me to want to do the same which furthered people in their journey. I hope you've seen from the other soulmate types that a soulmate does not have to be someone who is overtly profound presence in your life, just someone who has a profound affect on you that further pushes you on your life path.

To finish off this section without saying too much and deconstructing social constructs, yes, it is possible to have a celebrity as a romantic soulmate, but that is something that I cannot say with ease or lackadaisically. If it is in your path, it will happen naturally, just focus on yourself, your healing, and following your life path and you will get there some day. I must warn that, because of the fact that celebrities are famous and in the public view and are the object of many peoples attraction, you must be aware of things called limerence, parasocial relationships, obsessions, love addictions etc. These are things that can influence a person into believing that there is a soul connection when there isn't one. It is easy to say you love a celebrity and feel a connection with them because you can consume their content without limit, but you are not interacting with them, you do not know them. You cannot use your feelings of attraction or romance to justify the idea of a connection, either you have one or you don't, and you will know the difference because it isn’t a vice or a distraction from your problems. It’s something that will put you in a position where you will have to do a lot of grueling mental, emotional, and physical work to get to where you need to be. It is also important to note that your guides might allow you to believe that a celebrity is a soulmate because that is the only way for you to genuinely follow your life path.

Final Statements:

With all of that being said, you might be thinking "that sounds like anyone can be my soulmate?! How can I tell if a random joe on the street is my soulmate or not?!" Well, yes and no LOL. Literally that is the beauty of human nature combining with spiritual purpose. Anyone can be your soulmate, but it depends on the stage in life you are in that determines whether or not they will be in your life. It is also very common in romantic soulmates, more specifically twin flames to pass each other several times in life before getting to the point of actually meeting. There are so many instances of people taking family photos or pictures of themselves with their partners in the background without even knowing!

If you are trying to call in a soulmate, following the guidance of your guides, they have an invested interest in your wellbeing and highest good however they cannot force your or force things to happen without your willingness. Their job is to guide you, not to do things for you, and if you heed their guidance, they will guide you to your highest good.

Again, if you have any questions, anything you want to say, add, need clarification on, would like to talk about, or would like to request, or would want an in depth post about a specific soulmate type, please feel free to message me! My inbox and ask box are always open and I will never judge you 🤍 I hope this post was as informative and I hope it gave some insight!

Here are some links with more information related to soulmates and soul connections!:

12 types of soulmates

Another 12 types of soulmates for clarity sake, this one contains content related to childhood soulmates, that would fall under the umbrella of platonic soulmates.

8 types of soulmates

10 types of soulmates

Types of soulmates

13 most common types of soulmates

A third 12 types of soulmates

#spirituality #soulmates #bts tarot #kpop tarot #celebrity tarot #spiritual journey #celeb tarot #spiritual awakening #spiritualgrowth #spiritual topics #romantic soulmates #platonic soulmates #soulmate types

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tagamantra · 4 months ago

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God Obliterating Vajra is the Southeast Asian Naruto Disco Elysium Weird Wuxia web serial you didn’t know you needed. Imagine if Naruto’s ninja-world progression collided with Disco Elysium’s brain-melting philosophy, then got doused in a monsoon of Southeast Asian Hindu-Buddhist mysticism and anti-capitalist rebellion. That’s this story.

Swap “chakra” for Sapi (the Mystic Fires latent in every person) and “qi” for Nihawa (the vital winds of all things), and you’ve got a world where power isn’t just cultivated—it’s ritualized.

The vibe:

Naruto meets Sword Saints: The protagonist isn’t just a martial artist—they’re a Sword-Mantrika, weaving tantras into blade strikes and chanting mantras sharper than steel.A scrappy, underdog protagonist (think "ninja meets ascetic monk") climbs a power ladder in a world where martial arts and dharma-fueled abilities replace chakra. But instead of Rasengans, they’re throwing vajrastras that shatter illusions and corporate greed.

Disco Elysium’s existential spice: he MC doesn’t just fight enemies—they battle their own inner voices, trauma, and philosophical contradictions. Think skill trees replaced by Buddhist precepts and dialogue choices that ask, “Do I dismantle this corrupt god-king… or dismantle myself first?” The MC’s progression isn’t just about leveling up—it’s about unraveling. Understanding Cultivations, sometimes known as Daan. Daan means Way or Path but it also means Hundred, for there are Myriads.

Southeast Asian Weird Wuxia: The world is a fever dream of Southeast Asian spiritcore—floating ketjak-dancing demons, jungles haunted by pontianak spirits, and cities ruled by merchant-gods hoarding karma like crypto. Combat is "sword saints" and "drunken muay Thai mystics" channeling ancestral rage through ritual tattoos. Battles erupt between Mystic Martial Artists who bend reality via tantric rituals—think monks using wayang kulit shadow puppetry to trap souls, or warriors whose sword forms invoke the fury of naga deities.

Why it slaps:

Sapi & Nihawa > Chakra & Qi: Forget solo cultivation—here, Sapi is cultivated not just through personal development but also in cultivating community. Nihawa is trained through breathing techniques but can also be stolen back from colonialist earth-pillagers who wield the Earth-Nihawa and use it to power their Karma Engines. Power is political.

Tantra-core combat: Fight scenes blend Hindu-Buddhist tantras with Southeast Asian flair: Spear-Tantrikas perform blood rituals to summon pontianak spirits, while Sword-Mantrikas duel in trance-states fueled by betel nut and bodhicitta.

Southeast Asian flavor: Battles blend silat martial arts with reality-warping mantras, like a kris dagger that cuts through timelines or a boss fight against a privatized rain god charging villagers for monsoon rights.

This is spiritcore maximalism—where compassion is as vital as swordplay, bodhicitta is the ultimate “stats” boost, and every ritual is a middle finger to modern greed. Imagine a wayang kulit play written by Frantz Fanon, with a soundtrack of electric gamelan riffs and clashing kris daggers. If you’re into web serials that weaponize spirituality, read it here and set your heart ablaze. 🌩️⚔️🙏

#god obliterating vajra #fantasy #dharmapunk #southeast asia #filipino #writing #web serial #philippines #progression fantasy #magical realism #webnovel #martial arts #kung fu #naruto #disco elysium #dnd #buddhism

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ai-manre · 5 months ago

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Jaya by Devdutt Pattnaik is the absolute worst trite nonsense, and this page is the best example of it. Let's compare with the real thing, shall we?

According to Devdutt Pattanaik, Krishna's reactions to the dyut sabha incident were as follows:

1) Jaya- Krishna to angry bheema "all five of you lost. All five of you must keep your word and suffer exile quietly. To keep your word is dharma." He says "you are responsible for rejecting Karna which has caused this."

In actual text (referencing KMG) Krishna: Respectfully saluting that foremost of the Kurus, Kesava (Krishna) mournfully said, 'The earth shall drink the blood of Duryodhana and Karna, of Dussasana and the wicked Sakuni! Slaying these in battle and defeating their followers along with their royal allies, will we all install Yudhishthira the just on the throne! The wicked deserve to be slain! Verily, this is eternal morality.'

Devdutt Pattnaik's Krishna scolds the victims and tells them keeping their word is dharma. But Mahabharata's Sri Krishna, burns and seethes at the act of harmful injustice! He is full of righteous anger and calls it the eternal morality for the wicked to be slain! His compassion and pain at the suffering of the victims is so apparent, so empathetic.

And what's more, he condemns Karna to death (as he should) for his horrible actions, not victim-blaming draupadi for that incel misogynist's molestation.

2) Jaya - Krishna to Draupadi: "you are responsible for rejecting Karna. A great warrior, he would never have gambled you. You chose Arjuna instead and look at you now."

Hahah the implication that somehow karna of all people is better than Arjuna!!

Let's see what the Mahabharata Krishna says in this scene shall we?

And when on account of the wrongs of Pritha's sons, Janardana had thus got into a passion, and seemed bent upon consuming all created things, Arjuna exerted himself to pacify him. And beholding Kesava angry, Falguna began to recite the feats achieved in his former lives by that soul of all things, himself immeasurable, the eternal one, of infinite energy, the lord of Prajapati himself, the supreme ruler of the worlds, Vishnu of profound wisdom!'

Arjuna has to calm down Krishna, who is soo angry at the injustice and cruelty that happened to draupadi and the Pandavas, that he seemed bent upon consuming all created things!

Continuing this, Arjuna narrates all great feats of Vishnu to Krishna to calm him down. At the end of his speech, Krishna says this:

Having addressed Krishna thus, the illustrious Pandava (Arjuna), who was the soul of Krishna, became dumb, when Janardana (Krishna) (in reply addressed that son of Pritha) saying, 'Thou art mine and I am thine, while all that is mine is thine also! He that hateth thee hateth me as well, and he that followeth thee followeth me! O thou irrepressible one, thou art Nara and I am Narayana or Hari! We are the Rishis Nara and Narayana born in the world of men for a special purpose. O Partha, thou art from me and I am from thee! O bull of the Bharata race, no one can understand the difference that is between us!'

Well well well, would you look at that? Instead of mocking draupadi for choosing arjuna over Karna as devdutt pattnaik shows, Krishna instead affirms his love for Arjuna in no uncertain terms, and declares that anyone who is arjuna's enemy is his own enemy, that they belong to eachother.

3) Jaya's Krishna says to draupadi "god does not hate you" (which btw sounds distinctly non-hindu, when do hindu scriptures ever speak of God loving us? Love is beautiful, but our gods' primary role is to preserve dharma and the law of karma) while also mocking her when she's at her worst situation.

What does mahabharata krishna say instead?

And wiping her eyes and sighing frequently she said these words angrily and in a choked voice, 'Husbands, or sons, or friends, or brothers, or father, have I none! Nor have I thee, O thou slayer of Madhu, for ye all, beholding me treated so cruelly by inferior foes, sit still unmoved! My grief at Karna's ridicule is incapable of being assuaged! On these grounds I deserve to be ever protected by thee, O Kesava (Krishna), viz., our relationship, thy respect (for me), our friendship, and thy lordship (over me)

"Vaisampayana continued, 'In that assembly of heroes Vasudeva (Krishna) then spake unto the weeping Draupadi as follows, 'O fair lady, the wives of those with whom thou art angry, shall weep even like thee, beholding their husbands dead on the ground, weltering in blood and their bodies covered with the arrows of Vivatsu (Arjuna)! Weep not, lady, for I will exert to the utmost of my powers for the sons of Pandu! I promise thou shalt (once more) be the queen of kings! The heavens might fall, or the Himavat might split, the earth might be rent, or the waters of the ocean might dry up, but my words shall never be futile!' Hearing those words of Achyuta in reply, Draupadi looked obliquely at her third husband (Arjuna). And, O mighty king, Arjuna said unto Draupadi, 'O thou of beautiful coppery eyes, grieve not! O illustrious one, it shall be even as the slayer of Madhu (Krishna) hath said! It can never be otherwise, O beautiful one!'

Look at this, this lovely relationships! Draupadi seeking solace in Krishna, ranting to him about evil people like Karna. Krishna consoling Draupadi assuring her that she will rule again and everyone who hurt her will die by Arjuna's arrows (love how he brings Arjuna into it!) and through his own machinations. Draupadi then looks to Arjuna for confirmation and he reassures as well while attesting that nothing Krishna said can be wrong. What a beautiful moment of friendship and recovery after such an ordeal! By people who trust eachother so much!

This wouldn't go for Devdutt Pattnaik though, might have interfered with his karna fantasies....

#arjuna #arjuna stan #mahabharata #hindublr #krishna #draupadi #anti devdutt pattanaik

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mydogatemymotivation · 3 months ago

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Kanan Jarrus and Buddhism

This is a very long post. (oh my god I’m so sorry. It got away from me. I just kept going)

Kanan Jarrus is the best example of Buddhism in Star Wars, if not one of the best examples in modern television. Disclaimer: I have only a surface level understanding of the religions I’m about to get into, so if you know more about these religions or time periods in history, please share the info you have or share sources. Pretty please. I love history. Especially Religious History. Ok, moving on.

One last disclaimer: None of this will be a perfect one-to-one retelling of any religious mythology or ideology. It’s about the overarching themes and lessons.

I don’t know whether the Jedi are strictly Buddhist in teachings. I don’t think they are, I think they pull from a lot of different Eastern religions. However, at the time of the Clone Wars, I think they mirror the institution (for lack of a better word) of orthodox Hinduism at the time of Buddhism’s founding.

To be clear, I’m talking about the public perception of Hinduism as an institution, not necessarily the religion. I don’t have a clear enough understanding of Hinduism to have any kind of meaningful discussion of the religious aspect (if anyone has good sources, please let me know). To put this very, very, very simply, orthodox Hinduism has a concept of Sanatan Dharma the “Eternal Order”. There is the Brahman which both is the universe and created the universe. Brahman established and maintained order. The Vedas, Hindu Scripture, encouraged acceptance of one’s place in life – no matter how difficult or impoverished – while priests lived well from temple donations. The human soul is immortal. And there are the concepts of karma (action) in accordance with dharma (duty) to break free from the cycle of rebirth and death (samsara) and attain union with the oversoul (atman). That’s what I have in my notes, but keep in mind that Hinduism is so deeply complex that this explanation is the equivalent of someone burning instant noodles then trying to judge Cutthroat Kitchen. So. Take what you will, research the rest.

Part of the problem, at the time of Buddhism’s founding, which was around 563 – 483 BCE, Sidhartha Gautama’s estimated lifetime (the specific dates vary greatly, but his estimated lifetime is all around the same time period), was that the Vedas were all written in Sanskrit, which most people didn’t read, and the average person relied on Hindu priests to read the Vedas for them. On top of that, there was the caste system, an incredibly complex system, but put briefly, if you were born into a poorer caste, it was because you belonged there or had done something in a past life to warrant the suffering you were enduring. The fear of death was also looming. With the soul being eternal, death meant rebirth, possibly into another life of suffering, and people wanted a way out.

I’ve made about five different versions of this paragraph, but I keep getting dragged into other points I want to make, so I’ll leave it at this. A self-governing universe, and the eternal soul are the two main parallels to Hinduism. And 10,000 knights is a considerable number – if they spread their impact more individually. They weren’t meant to be a full fighting force, as a unit. Institutionalizing created resentment and division. They shouldn’t have consolidated. They were involved in politics that they shouldn’t have been, and they were living well in their Temple on Coruscant, presumably living off taxpayer dollars. Could the people of Coruscant afford the Jedi? Very probably, but should the people of Coruscant have to pay for a religious order that’s infiltrating their political sphere? No. All this to say, all institutional (not individual) religion is wrong. I’ve seen some posts joking about how the Jedi are Catholic because they punish people who practice differently than they do, but Hinduism has done the same with the caste system. Because people with the power to even the playing field don’t want to give up their advantage – in any religion. But I’m losing my main point.

How does any of this relate to Kanan?

There are Buddhist ideals within the Jedi Order and the Jedi Code, but they are fully realized with Kanan. And to realize these ideals, Kanan had to be removed from the Jedi. If you don’t know the story of Siddhartha Gautama, I’ll recap briefly. Siddhartha was a Hindu prince. His father was told that he would either be a great king or a great spiritual leader. His father didn’t want him to be a spiritual leader, and kept him locked away, essentially, but one night, Siddhartha snuck out. He then saw an aged man, a sick man, a dead man, and an ascetic man (ascetic: characterized by severe self-discipline and abstention from all forms of indulgence, typically for religious reasons). He panicked, realizing that he too could age, get sick, and die. While he was upset, the ascetic man was at peace, and Gautama decided to follow a religious life. So, on another night, he left his palace for good to seek enlightenment. (I don’t know where else to put this, but there’s some sort of symbolism, in relation to Buddhism, about the jedi temple being turned into a palace. I feel like that means something deeper than the obvious jab at the jedi.)

Kanan’s story isn’t a one-to-one retelling of the Buddha’s, but I do feel like he hits all the main points, and that’s what I want to expand on. First, I want to make a case for the four signs.

The aged man: Rex. A relic of a bygone age, and a symbol of the end of the Jedi. Not his fault, but that’s what he represents to Kanan. Seeing him so unexpectedly, and so much older frightened him.

The sick man: Maul. Not necessarily physically sick, but sick, nonetheless. Watching that sickness spread to Ezra and realizing how sly and corrosive it was had to have been sobering. As much as he was trying to coach Ezra through his call to the dark side, he was learning from Ezra, too.

The dead man: Luminara. This one was my brother’s idea, I was originally thinking something more symbolic and was going to say Caleb. But Luminara as a confirmation that there is no going back, that the Jedi are truly dead and gone, makes more sense.

The ascetic man: Dume. Not the Bendu. When I was talking to my (aforementioned) brother about this, he was telling me about someone who’d made a post about how it was bad karma to euthanize a suffering animal. That the animal must’ve done something in a past life to deserve the suffering he was enduring in this life. He was, of course, shot down by everyone else. That even if it was bad karma to put this animal down, letting it continue to suffer was worse. It’s better to take the hit on your own karma for kindness, than cruelty. The Bendu reminds me of the first commenter. Neutrality to the point of indolence. To the point of pain and suffering. You aren’t supposed to turn your back on the world or the pain of others, you’re supposed to alleviate it. Dume, and his lothwolves, were the ones who were willing to get involved in protecting their home world. Not just for themselves, but for everyone on Lothal. Because they understood that suffering couldn’t continue. You’re a part of the world. You’re not supposed to detach from it.

This leads me to my next point. Attachment. The great question mark of the Jedi Order. I think the reason people struggle so much with the concept of attachment is because many Star Wars fans don’t know much about Buddhism – and this is the place where the Jedi and Buddhists overlap the most. It will be easier to speak about this if we change the language. Don’t think “attachment”, think “craving”.

This is the crux of Buddhism’s “Four Noble Truths”.

Life is suffering.

The cause of suffering is craving.

Ending craving, ends suffering.

There’s a path that leads away from suffering and craving.

Say you go to a dinner party. When it ends, you don’t throw yourself on the floor of your host’s house and demand the party continues. You thank your host for their time and leave. You go in knowing the party will end, and you accept the end gracefully when it comes. If you go into the party craving more time than you’re allotted, being attached to the idea of staying, you’ll suffer when the party ends. But even if you accept the party will end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself when you’re at dinner. Eat, drink, be merry, just know you will have to go when your time ends.

Let’s take a look at Anakin and Kanan, and their respective love interests. Anakin didn’t understand not to crave Padmé. Even when he thought her time was ending, he craved more. Not for her, but for him. She was a famous senator during wartime. There were already several attempts on her life before they were even together. Did he think it could last forever? He didn’t want to think about the end. He didn’t want to believe it could end. When the end was in sight, despite knowing she was as human as he was, despite knowing she couldn’t live forever, he threw himself on the floor demanding her life continue.

Kanan would never. He was fully aware of the fact that Hera’s life would end one day. Whether it was when she was a storied old woman, or the very next day in a battle gone wrong. In the episode “Protectors of Concord Dawn”, Hera is very nearly killed by Fenn Rau, one of the rare fighter pilots that was able to best her. Had this happened to Anakin and Padmé, Anakin would’ve teetered on the edge of the dark side, going after Rau for revenge, craving more of Padmé’s time or Rau’s death as penance for him nearly losing her. Kanan, however, went to Rau in peace. He was worried about Hera (and slightly distracted, considering Sabine was able to sneak aboard the Phantom) but he was levelheaded, and was able to complete Hera’s mission for her.

Kanan was able to love Hera, without being attached to her. Without craving her. He was happy with her, and when it came to an end, he accepted it, and was able to let go. This was the lesson he finally fully realized when he met Dume on the road. That his time would end, but there was nothing to fear when it did.

In my opinion, Hera fits in two different places in the story of Siddartha. When Siddhartha first left to pursue his life of enlightenment, he tried to live an ascetic life, a life of devotion to religion through suffering. But he didn’t reach enlightenment, only more suffering. This ends eventually, when he can’t find what he’s looking for, and he ends his starvation when a milkmaid, Sujata, offers him food (though there are other versions of how Siddhartha ended his asceticism). After years of study, Siddhartha went back to his palace to get his wife, Yasodhara, and his son, Rahula, both of whom stayed with him until his death. I see Hera as Sujata, the woman who offered him food and a new path, and as Yasodhara, his wife. During his time spreading his teachings, Siddhartha had five believers – disciples in a way – who traveled with him, even back during his asceticism. Kanan, similarly, has five traveling companions while he teaches Ezra his ways.

When Siddhartha died, he died teaching a lesson.

Make my teaching your light – rely upon it

Make yourself a light – rely upon yourself

Control your mind – your mind will make of you buddha or beast

Death is but a vanishing of the body

He passed away, with his wife and child by his side, and was eventually cremated.

After his death, we never really saw him again. We had a brief glimpse of Dume, and a memory of him through Hera’s eyes, but it wasn’t him. Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Anakin, Leia, and Luke, all had force ghosts. I know that it was a technique that only a few knew, but I don’t feel it represents the best of the Jedi’s teachings. Speaking of Buddhism, I feel as though learning that technique is making the active choice to forfeit escaping the cycle of reincarnation. They’re Boddhisatva’s, not Buddhas. A bodhisattva is just that: someone who can reach enlightenment but chooses to teach others the path instead. The only true Buddha in Star Wars is Kanan, even shaving his hair in his last episode, as so many Buddhists do.

The Jedi do have many overlapping ideals with Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity. I think it’s irresponsible to say that they are only one of those or are definitely not one of those. Star Wars is popular all over the world, but there’s no denying that a large chunk of the fanbase is in western countries, and the writers are almost always from western nations. And I say that because many of the people interpreting Star Wars, and almost all the people writing it, have a certain Christo-centric lens. Maybe the Jedi order does pull from Eastern religions but acting like the people writing these characters don’t have bias is wrong. Acting like there is no other religion mixed into the Jedi is just blatantly false.

As I said, I don’t know much about Hinduism, so maybe there is a deity that fits the bill, but if you look at the Sith, they are demonic. Not in a Christian fearmongering way, but in a legitimate, they’re based off demonic characters in mythology (all religion is mythology, it just is, please don’t start). There’s a reason Vader’s palace is on Mustafar, the Star Wars equivalent of hell, there’s a reason Maul has horns. But I’m getting sidetracked again. I’m trying to say that these characters and their motivations are better understood when you take a realistic look at their inspirations. Kanan, and the Jedi’s meaning of “attachment”, is better understood when you study Buddhism. Everyone who watches Star Wars is taking their biases into the world with them.

I need to wrap this up because it’s waaaaaay too long already. But I’m going to leave you with three things. Buddhism’s eightfold path, the Jedi code, and the Sith code.

Right Understanding

-We should learn and try to understand the truth

2. Right Purpose

-We should always try to do whats right

3. Right Speech

-We should be truthful and kind in all we say

4. Right Conduct

-We should try to behave ourselves at all times

5. Right Livelilhood

-We should earn our living in a way which will not harm anyone

6. Right Effort

-We should constantly try to improve ourselves

7. Right Thought

-We should have good and pure thoughts because words and actions arise from thoughts

8. Right Meditation

-We should concentrate our will when we meditate

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.

Peace is a lie. There is only Passion.

Through Passion, I gain Strength.

Through Strength, I gain Power.

Through Power, I gain Victory.

Through Victory my chains are Broken.

The Force shall free me.

I did my best with the religions that I spoke about, and I’m not trying to needlessly criticize any of them. Some people in each religion are good, some people in each religion are bad. I tend to view actual religious practices as neutral, and dependent on whose practicing them. So if I got anything really wrong, or really egregiously offensive, please kindly let me know, so I can try to fix it.

It may read like homework to you, but I promise I’m having fun.

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mahayanapilgrim · 3 days ago

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Suffering and Joy, According to Circumstances

Living in this Saha world, one must sooner or later face the fact that suffering is unavoidable. It follows like our own shadow for the length of our lives.

Everything that happens to us reflects the quality of our previous deeds. If we can acknowledge this point, then, whenever we meet with suffering and difficulty, we cannot regard them as random, unjust occurrences, or as punishments meted out by an angry deity. In fact, they are merely the completion of past deeds. They are the "chickens coming home to roost." The good news is that, if we can endure suffering with equanimity, we put an end to the evil karma that produced it. As a Tibetan proverb says, "Suffering is the broom that sweeps away all evil deeds."

All of life's predicaments are really teaching us the principle of imperma-nence, which allows us to approach the truth. When we stumble and fall, we inevitably land upon the ground of truth.

The Dharma helps us to understand that this is not something lamentable, but an opportunity and a discovery.

Difficulties and obstacles, if understood for what they are, can become fountainheads of great power. Just a cursory glance at the biographies of ancient masters will show us that difficulties and obstacles are often spurs to greatness. A life without difficulty is a life of mediocrity. Without the incentive to transcend hardship, we will most likely fritter away our lives on trifles.

For us Amitabha-reciters, misery and hardship are precisely what give rise to a heart that yearns to transcend the world and find safe haven in the Land of Bliss. So rather than resentfully bemoaning our suf-ferings, let us use them to energize our aspiration and practice for the Pure Land.

As ordinary people, we may never arrive at greatness in this Saha world; but as aspirants to the Land of Bliss, the greatness of Buddhahood awaits. A life spent basking in the light of Amitabha is never wasted.

We come to this world a traveler, and nothing more. We temporarily take up residence in this body, and borrow all of our possessions from others. Seen from this perspective, the "luggage" of one's life is actually very light and easy to handle. But if we immerse ourselves in the pursuit of wealth, fame and pleasure, never seeking a deeper meaning to existence, then we add lead weights to our luggage. In a situation of impermanence, desire does not create permanence- only needless difficulty. Who checks into a hotel for the night, and then proceeds to renovate the room because it doesn't suit their taste?

Compared with the Dharma's true benefits, the world's glory and splendor are but an illusion. Those who recite Amitabha's name and seek the Pure Land accept the blessings and protection of all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and thus harbor no envy of anyone. They patiently endure life's troubles, joyfully anticipate their liberation, and do what they can to serve society and benefit others. But whatever life conditions we encounter, under the gentle regime of the Fundamental Vow even dull days are happy, and plain tea and coarse food are sweet.

Once, the educator Xia Mianzun dined with the renowned Dharma Master,

Hongyi. Mr. Xia noticed that the master only ate a mixture of salted vegetables and politely asked, "Isn't such fare too salty to the palate?"

Master Hongyi said, "Salty vegetables have salty flavor."

After the meal, Mr. Xia watched as the master the proceeded to drink a cup of plain boiled water. Mr. Xia wrinkled his brow and said, "Don't tell me you have no tea leaves! Does the Great Master really drink dull, boiled water?"

Master Hongyi laughed and said, "Dull, boiled water has dull flavor!

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rajguruusa · 10 days ago

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Why You Keep Seeing 111, 444, 333 – Angel Numbers, Astrology & Karmic Signals Explained by Guru Ji Dr Raj

Have you been repeatedly seeing numbers like 111, 444, or 333 in unexpected places—on digital clocks, license plates, receipts, or even dreams? These numbers are not mere coincidences. They’re known as Angel Numbers, and according to both Vedic astrology and karmic philosophy, they carry deeper spiritual messages designed to guide you during life’s crucial moments.

For those seeking answers beyond the physical realm, Guru Ji Dr Raj – Best Astrologer in USA, offers a powerful perspective: these numbers are celestial nudges from the Universe, often tied to your astrological cycles, soul contracts, and past-life karma. Understanding them with the guidance of a true spiritual master can unlock clarity, peace, and direction.

👉 Start your journey to decode these signs with Guru Ji Dr Raj – Best Astrologer in USA.

What Are Angel Numbers?

Angel numbers are repeating sequences of digits, often seen during transitional moments in life. While Western spiritualists associate them with messages from angels, Vedic astrology interprets them as synchronicities connected to planetary shifts and karmic reminders. Each number carries a unique vibration and intent:

111 – A sign of manifestation, new beginnings, and heightened intuition

444 – Protection, divine support, and a reminder to trust your spiritual path

333 – Presence of spiritual guides and alignment of mind, body, and spirit

222 – Balance, harmony, and reassurance that you're on the right track

555 – Major changes ahead; embrace transformation

But the big question is: Why now? Why you?

The Vedic View: Are Angel Numbers in Your Horoscope?

In Jyotish Shastra (Vedic astrology), the timing of events is dictated by planetary dashas, nakshatras, and yogas. Seeing recurring numbers often coincides with:

The start or end of a major planetary period (Mahadasha)

Transits of powerful planets like Saturn (Shani), Jupiter (Guru), or Rahu

Karmic triggers indicated by the 12th house or 8th house in your chart

Guru Ji Dr Raj, with over 25+ years of spiritual and astrological experience, explains:

“Seeing angel numbers is like hearing the knock of your higher self. The stars are aligning, your karma is surfacing, and the Universe is trying to catch your attention.”

What Does 111 Mean in Astrology and Karma?

111 symbolizes:

The activation of Sun energy (Surya) – signaling self-awareness, leadership, and creative spark.

The start of a new karmic cycle. Often seen when you are about to attract what you have been thinking or feeling deeply.

If you’ve been asking questions like:

“Should I change my career?”

“Is it time to heal this relationship?”

“Am I walking my spiritual path?”

...then seeing 111 means, Yes. Begin. Align. Manifest.

Guru Ji’s Advice:

Focus on your thoughts. Cleanse your energy with Surya Beej Mantra and consider doing Sun salutations (Surya Namaskar) at dawn.

Why Do You Keep Seeing 444?

444 is a reminder from the cosmos that you are divinely protected.

In Vedic tradition:

The number 4 is associated with Chaturbhuj Vishnu, the preserver of dharma.

444 reflects stability and groundedness.

It often appears during Shani Mahadasha or Saturn transits, reminding you to stay disciplined and faithful during tough times.

It signals:

Your ancestors and guides are near.

You’re not alone—even if it feels like a dark phase.

Ritual Suggestion: Light a lamp every Saturday evening and recite Hanuman Chalisa to bring courage and protection.

Seeing 333 Everywhere? Your Spiritual Team Is Here

333 in spiritual numerology is associated with the Trinity—mind, body, spirit—or in Vedic terms, the Tri-Devas (Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh).

It often appears when:

You are at a crossroads and need spiritual support.

You are about to embark on a deeper soul journey.

Your intuition is awakening.

Astrological Insight: If you’re under the influence of Jupiter (Guru), or if your 9th house is active, you may feel drawn to philosophy, dharma, or spiritual exploration.

Guru Ji Dr Raj recommends chanting “Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya” 108 times during Brahma Muhurta to channel divine wisdom.

Angel Numbers and Karmic Contracts

Seeing these numbers repeatedly may be tied to your soul agreements—the lessons you were meant to learn in this life.

For example:

Seeing 111 during a breakup? You're being pushed to choose yourself and level up your energy.

Spotting 444 while struggling with finances? The Universe is teaching you patience, structure, and resilience.

Encountering 333 in the midst of loneliness? You're being nudged to reconnect with your spiritual path.

Guru Ji helps decode these signals based on:

Your natal chart

Your karmic backlog

The current planetary dashas and yogas

Real Transformations: Testimonials from Devotees(These are representative cases)

🧘‍♀️ Nina from California “I kept seeing 555 for weeks and felt lost. After my online consultation with Guru Ji, I realized I was resisting a career transition. He gave me clarity and a mantra practice. Within 3 months, I received a new job offer!”

🙏 Rahul from Dubai “Repeated 444 sightings led me to Guru Ji. He identified my Saturn Dasha and guided me with Hanuman mantras. I now feel emotionally strong and protected.”

How to Respond When You See These Numbers

When you see an angel number:

Pause – Don’t ignore it.

Reflect – What were you thinking or feeling?

Record – Start a journal. Patterns will emerge.

Act – Book a karmic astrology session with Guru Ji for precise decoding.

Do You Need a Birth Chart to Understand Angel Numbers?

Not necessarily.

Guru Ji Dr Raj also uses Prashna Kundli (Horary Astrology) if you don’t know your birth time. These techniques reveal:

The current energetic flow

What your soul is trying to communicate

What karmic chapter is opening or closing

Debunking Myths: Angel Numbers Are Not Superstition

Many skeptics view angel numbers as coincidence. But:

Why do they appear during emotional turmoil or spiritual awakening?

Why are they consistent across people globally?

Guru Ji clarifies:

“Angel numbers are the soul’s GPS. Science hasn’t caught up yet, but spirituality has always known.”

Summary Table: Quick Reference

Number-Message-Astrological Link

111

New beginnings, intuition

Sun, 1st House

222

Harmony, balance

Venus, 2nd/7th House

333

Spiritual support, awareness

Jupiter, 9th House

444

Protection, structure

Saturn, 10th House

555

Change, transformation

Rahu-Ketu Axis

Conclusion: Embrace the Signs

When you keep seeing 111, 444, 333, it’s not a fluke. It’s an invitation from the Universe to pause, reflect, and realign. These numbers signal karmic turning points, spiritual awakenings, and hidden truths.

But the signs alone are not enough. You need the right guide to decode, heal, and act.

🎯 Book an online consultation with Guru Ji Dr Raj – Best Astrologer in USA and unlock the cosmic codes meant for your transformation.

Let the stars speak. Let your life respond.

#astro community #astro observations #astrology #astrology content #astrology signs #astro notes #birth chart #vedic astrology #astrology notes #astro placements #angel numbers

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monslord · 11 months ago

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The merger will start -

- and it will bring about enlightenment for humanity.

As everyone is already aware, the world-building of Jujutsu Kaisen heavily draws inspiration from Buddhism and I think it'd be helpful to first introduce some of the fundamental ideas of Buddhism, in order to make more sense of why I am coming to certain conclusions.

Buddhism in the most basic terms:

A - The Dharma 1. Karma: Karma is the concept of the law of cause and effect. The intention of one's actions in life determine the circumstances of a person's future rebirth. 12 laws determine one's Karma, the most important of which is The Great Law: Whatever thoughts or energy you put out, you get back — good or bad.

2. Samsara and Nirvana Buddhists believe in rebirth. This cycle of rebirth is called Samsara. Samsara has six realms: The realm of gods, the realm of demigods, the realm of humans, the realm of animals, the realm of hungry ghosts and the realm of hell

The realm of humans is considered to be the most fortunate one, as it is the only one in which one can attain Nirvana, which is the only way to exit the cycle of rebirth, by overcoming the attachment to life itself.

3. Nirvāṇa (Enlightenment) Nirvana is a state of calm, equanimity, non-attachment and non-self – it is a reflection of the complete absence of emotional suffering. A common descriptor is “to have a mind as immovable as a mountain.” This is not to be confused with a state of apathy, but to be taken as a state of serenity. It is the ability to not be shaken by however desperate a circumstance one faces, because one has rid themselves of all the pillars which create suffering.

4. Bardo (Space between any two states) Tibetan Buddhism specifically identifies six states of Bardo, which refer the space between any two states. The whole of those Six Bardo are: The Bardo of This Life, The Bardo of Dreaming, The Bardo of Meditation, The Bardo of Dying, The Bardo of Dharmata and The Bardo of Becoming.

The Bardo of Becoming specifically is the transitional space after death and before rebirth. It is said to be much like a dream, in which one perceives a variety of powerful and often frightening appearances influenced by one's karma of previous lives. It’s during this bardo that signs of future life start to appear, and the consciousness eventually takes rebirth in one of the six realms of existence according to one’s karma

B - The Four Noble Truths: The Four Noble Truths comprise the essence of Buddha's teachings:

Life is suffering (Duḥkha) Suffering has a cause (The Three Poisons) Suffering can end (Nirvāṇa) There is a path towards the end of suffering (The Noble Eightfold Path)

The term “suffering” is to be taken as synonymous to “dissatisfactory”. The Buddha differentiates between pain and suffering, the latter which references mental and emotional distress. An example of pain would be to have a wounded leg, the emotional suffering that could potentially arise from such a wound would stem more mental processes surrounding wishes to be rid of the wound, worries regarding the healing of the wound, recollecting times when the wound was not present and any other ruminations of such kind.

The notion of suffering is not meant to invoke pessimism, but rather an acknowledgement of life as it is and an offering of salvation from it.

C - The Three Poisons: Buddha believed that it is three negative qualities of the mind, which cause most of our own suffering and the suffering which we cause others:

Delusion (Moha): Ignorance, not seeing and understanding things as they truly are.

Attachment (Rāga): Greed, desire or clinging. An unwillingness to let go or to accept what is. Attachment is also to be understood as a form of resistance to the impermanence of all things.

Aversion (Dveṣa): Hatred, Anger, Ill-Will

D - The Four Immeasurables: These build the foundation for the ethical conduct of Buddhists and are grounded in the intention of minimizing suffering in the world. The freedom from suffering is not just a self-centered pursuit in Buddhism but it includes the intention of not causing others suffering.

Loving-Kindness (Metta): Active good will towards all

Compassion (Karuna): Results from Metta, identifying the suffering of others as one's own

Sympathetic Joy (Mudita): Results from Metta, the feeling of joy because others are happy, even if one did not contribute to it

Equanimity (Upekkha): Even-mindedness and serenity, treating everyone impartially

The foundation of the Four Immeasueables is also reflected in the Five Buddhist Precepts, which basically is the most reduced and bare bone core of how Buddhists should live.

E - The Noble Eightfold Path: The Noble Eightfold Path is Buddha's "guide" towards enlightenment.

The eight points listed in the Noble Eightfold Path can be summarized into three main categories:

Wisdom (understanding of the Four Noble Truths)

Ethical Conduct (actions based on the Four Immeasurables)

Mental Discipline (pertains to the cultivation of a focused and still mind)

It is important to note that “right” in this context is not an antonym to “wrong”, but rather to be seen as synonymous to “attuned”, “balanced” or “harmonious”.

F - The Four Stages of Enlightenment

Once one frees themselves of all the Ten Fetters (the chains that prevent enlightenment), one becomes an Arahant and achieves Nirvana.

Now that we are all up to speed in terms of the basics of Buddhism, let's get put this into the context of some major moments, plot points and characters of Jujutsu Kaisen.

One crucial thing to take note of at the very start are the main reoccurring themes of Jujutsu Kaisen, which are

Love

Cursed Energy

Enlightenment/Evolution

Those themes reflect the most crucial aspects of Buddhism itself.

The law of balance in Jujutsu Kaisen: Wether it comes to Binding Vows, Heavenly Restrictions, the rise of Cursed Spirits in respondse to Gojo's birth or twins – the principal of simultaneously losing one thing, where one gains another, is a reoccurring motif in the story. The origin of such an idea does not stem from Buddhism, but from Taoism, most of which people know for it's infamous Yin and Yang symbol. We also see this reflected in the way Gege creates characters, which have their anti-counterpart: Gojo and Sukuna, Tengen and Kenjaku, Yuji and Mahito, Yuta and Geto.

The body and the soul in Jujutsu Kaisen: Buddhism rejects the belief of the existence of a permanent soul. Still, the world-building of JJK heavily relies on this concept, as it is one of the aspects in which Gege took some creative liberty in.

When talking about the rebirth of his twin brother Sukuna says:

"Perhaps his (Kenjaku's) mate was my other half reincarnated ... and thus possessed the same soul*.”*

Sukuna confirms not only the existence of rebirth, but also pronounces his awareness of it. Sukuna has knowledge of the existence of the Dharma.

Regarding the soul's relationship with the body Mahito says:

“Does the soul dwell in the body? Or is the body built on the soul? The answer is the latter. The soul should always exist before the body*.”*

“The shape of the body will always be dependent on the shape of the soul.”

In the Buddhist faith the self is not made up of one permanent core, but consists of five factors, which are constantly subject to change. But in Jujutsu Kaisen the soul is the permanent core of a person, which remains unchanged as one moves from one life to another, and it finds its physical manifestation in the constitution of a body. The body is the physical representation of the soul.

The relationship of the soul and body is illustrated through the appearances of the reincarnated sorcerers, who can make their host body transform into reflecting their own soul physically. In turn maintaining the host body's appearance does not affect the soul of the person getting reincarnated. The soul alters the body but they are not symbiotic. The body does not change the soul in return and the body is not the soul itself. They are two separate entities.

This concept also reflected in the construction of Cursed Corpses. Yaga uses physical information to replicate soul information. But this replicated soul information is not the true soul of the deceased person, it is only a copy of it obtained from the physical information of the body. The same thing happened when Toji took over the body of his “host”. What manifested was not the real Toji, but only a copy of him as per Gege himself.

Samsara's Six Realms in Jujutsu Kaisen: Sukuna confirmed the existence of Samsara with the revelation that Jin Itadori was the reborn form of Sukuna's twin, thus making Samsara a confirmed factor in the story, but what about the six realms? I believe they also play a factor in the story.

Vengeful Spirits are the manifestation of a soul being reborn into the hungry ghost realm of Samsara. As we know now, someone who has accumulated enough negative Karma can be reborn into one of the less fortunate realms (animal realm, hungry ghost realm, hell realm). Naoya's greed and hatred towards women earned him such a fate of rebirth, after Maki's mother killed him. Once Maki ended his life as a Vengeful Spirit, he likely ended up even further down in the hell realm. Rika's fate has different origins and this represents another creative liberty Gege took: It wasn't Rika's own Karma which ended up with her being reborn as a Vengeful Spirit, but it was the negative Karma Yuta accumulated by clinging desperately onto Rika. His attachment (Rāga) to her led to her turning into a Vengeful Spirit. After Yuta's love for Rika transforms from a possessive, clinging one into a "pure love" (Metta), the negative Karma is “neutralized”, his hold on her is broken and Vengeful Spirit Rika dies.

Cursed Spirits represent the hell realm. Though canonically Cursed Spirits are the manifestation of human sufferings, I find that the idea that souls could get reincarnated as various manifestations of that human suffering to not be contradictory. We see Jogo meet Hanami and Dagon in a space of post-death Bardo, where he acknowledges that they will get reborn, though they won't be the same as before. Following that moment Sukuna (who's also known as the King of Curses and who's character design is inspired by Enmaten, the Buddhist King of Hell) enters the scene and berates Jogo for his greed to become human and his resistance to accept what he is. Another argument for this is that Mahito himself is confirmation of Cursed Spirits having a soul, or else he would not have been able to use his CT on himself.

Bardo, Samsara and Nirvana in Jujutsu Kaisen:

The concept of Bardo is something we often encounter in Jujutsu Kaisen. Specifically The Bardo of Becoming and The Bardo of Dying.

This metaphysical space between looks different depending on which person experiences it and what their karmic situation is. It is said to be filled with terrifying visions related to one's karma and in Jujutsu Kaisen it manifests similarly: Characters experience visions of the things that weighed on them the most heavily.

Some examples are: Kenjaku uses the Bardo of Dreams to inform all non-sorcerers of the Culling Games and their one chance to leave the colonies

For Maki and Mai the Bardo of Dying, which only occurs during the initial stages of approaching death, led them to a beach, upon which they talked about the origin of their ostracization: them being born twins. For Nobara the Bardo of Becoming manifested in a vision of empty chairs, which then started filling up with people who, despite her best efforts to maintain a distance, ended up making space for themselves in her life. What weighed the most heavily on Nobara was her experience of childhood in a small village, where privacy and force of conformity led to her building up her walls. For Kashimo the Bardo of Becoming manifested in a vision of Sukuna sharing some final wisdom with him, as the greatest weight in his life was having no match in terms of battle strength. For Gojo the Bardo of Becoming manifested in a vision of Gojo’s regrets: His failures in terms of protecting Riko and saving Geto. He also blamed himself for Yaga’s death, so it’s not far fetched that he felt the same way about Nanami and Haibara. Toji in this instance could represent the factor that led to some of this loss. Toji might also represent Gojo regretting having had to kill Megumi’s father later on, as he eventually grew to care for the kid. When faced with his regrets Gojo wasn’t shaken. He had accepted them and instead was glad to see them all again for one last time.

The way a person responds to these visions is also said to be one last determining factor to one’s karma.

Wether these moments are actually only visions, or wether during those moments the spirits of other people are truly present is not certain. In terms of Gojo's vision it seems unlikely that Haibara's soul would not have been reborn already, yet it stands to argue that Haibara informing Gojo about his appearance to Nanami, is not something Gojo would've known on his own.

Let's stick with Gojo for a moment. In Gojo's post-death Bardo Gege introduces the concept of North and South

Gojo asks Nanami what his death was like. Nanami responds as such:

"In the past this is what Miss Mei said when I asked about recommendations for leaving the country.

If you want to start anew, head north. if you want to return to your old self, head south.

Without hesitation I chose somewhere south. I'm such a backward looking person, and yet I bet on the future in my final moment."

The characters are in a metaphysical space between life and death, which visually presents itself as an airport. They are given only two options of destination: North is the start of something new and South is the return to something known. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I believe this choice represents choosing between Samsara and Nirvana - the choice to enter another life cycle or to leave life behind altogether.

Nanami describes his choice of going south as one made with a hopeful attitude towards the future, which contrast his usually pessimistic personality. Thinking about how depressed Nanami was, my assumption would be that he would be more so inclined to choose to not be reborn. But since he describes his choice of going south as a last minute change of heart, done so with the hope of a better future, it sounds like he chose to try again. Hence why I am concluding that South represents Samsara and North represents Nirvana.

This would mean Gege took another creative liberty with this narrative choice, by either

making enlightenment altogether not a necessity to exit the rebirth cycle

or just lowering the threshold for how close to enlightenment someone has to be to be given that choice.

Since we only see Gojo and Nanami conversing about those two options Geto and Haibara might still be excluded from being given that choice and get reborn anyway. The glass that Gege chose also visualizes this idea: The light fluid remains as it is at the "south" of the glass. At the "north" it fades away into blackness. It does not mix, it vanishes.

Enlightenment and it's connection to mastery of Jujutsu in Jujutsu Kaisen

The state of enlightenment of a character seems to heavily correlate with their mastery of jujutsu. Strength in terms of jujutsu itself is mainly measured by the Grade of a Sorcerer.

If we apply this assumption to the plot, then non-sorcerers would be the furthest away from enlightenment and Special Grades would be the closest to it.

Let's illustrate this point by going through some character examples, starting with Gojo.

Gojo: Gojo is, amongst the modern era sorcerers, considered to be the strongest. Gojo's very character design is centered around the theme of enlightenment.

His first name derives from the Japanese term for enlightenment (Satori 悟り)

His last name references the number five in reference to the Five Buddhist Precepts.

His hair is white, referencing the color the Sala flowers turned, when Buddha reached Nirvana (as mentioned in the Heike Monogatari, which Todo quoted in his Shibuya monologue).

The Six Eyes reference the Six Realms of Samsara, the Six Sense Bases, the Six Perfections and many other aspects of Buddhism.

His Domain Expansion "Infinite Void" references Śūnyatā in name, which is a meditative state of experience

The Mudra he uses to activate his domain he uses is associated with Taishakuten, who is a Buddhist Deva.

His moment of enlightenment in Hidden Inventory is accompanied with a significant and immediate power up. The temporary mental state he experiences is exactly as Nirvana is described: A state of calm, equanimity, nonattachment and nonself - the complete absence of all suffering and the acceptance of all that is. Many people mistake this for egotistic indifference. It is not. It's a state of serenity. One that unlocks three new skills within him: Red, Purple and RCT. The connection of enlightenment to Jujutsu mastery, is showcased through this very scene. This makes complete sense in a meta context: The first step towards enlightenment starts with understanding the Four Noble Truths, which center around the role suffering plays in life. Since within the story suffering manifests as Cursed Energy, the connection between understanding suffering and understanding Cursed Energy are inherently synonymous within the story. To understand suffering means to understand Cursed Energy

Stages of enlightenment of characters in Jujutsu Kaisen: I initially wanted to measure each character's stage of enlightenment by using the Noble Eightfold Path in a questionnaire type of way, but there are unfortunately some aspects which are impossible to answer for most characters, hence why I am choosing to keep it simple by measuring this through the Four Stages of Enlightenment. Even with this approach it is not possible to give a definitive answer to each of the fetters, but we can make an estimated guess according to what we do know of the characters.

Tengen: Tengen herself represents a Bodhisattva, who is trying to postpone her ascend to Buddhahood and complete enlightenment. Her characterization makes her position as an “ascended” human obvious: She is the one who taught the foundation of Jujutsu Sorcery, much like Buddha Gautama (the OG Buddha, so to speak) taught the Dharma. Tengen maintains four major barriers, which reference The Four Noble Truths. Her base is visualized as an enormous tree - Trees are symbolically linked to the Buddha Gautama, who was born beneath a tree, obtained enlightenment beneath a tree and died beneath a tree. She only maintains her sense of self and sense of attachment by either merging with a Star Plasma Vessel or later on through the use of her own barriers. Tengen notably has an absence of aversion, as she doesn't show any inclination towards anger. Through her active attempts to stave of a complete loss of attachment (because the moment she loses her attachment to life as it is, she might no longer see the point maintaining the barriers which are crucial in terms of keeping curses confined within Japan) and her loss of identity one can assume that she is at the stage of a Non-returner (Stage 3 out of 4), who is actively preventing the final stage of Arahant (Stage 4 out of 4). In Buddhism a state of non-self does not necessarily mean becoming one with all of humanity, but within the story that is what it represents. Yaga himself uses the term evolution to describe Tengen's predicament, which is practically being used synonymously to enlightenment in Jujutsu Kaisen. Because isn't enlightenment itself a form of evolution?

Gojo: He rejects the traditional ways, which might be a manifestation of having let go of the belief in rites and rituals. Gojo seems not prone to aversion, since we rarely see him angry. Even after his unsealing he seemed rather collected, despite the horrific circumstances. Similarly we don't see him being overly clingy towards anything, as he seems to accept things as they happen. Still, he is shown to not be entirely free of his attachments to people and the circumstances of life during his youth. His sense of self is also very strong, which is why I conclude that Gojo is at the Stage of Once-returner (Stage 2 out of 4). This also fits in nicely with his farewell chapter being titled “Go South”, because even if Gege leaves the choice up to each character and we don’t know for certain wether Gojo chose rebirth, thematically Gojo should still have one life cycle to complete until he reaches complete enlightenment and truly dies for good.

You might say that this doesn't make much sense in terms of Gojo being canonically stronger than Tengen, but remember, enlightenment relates to Jujutsu mastery, not offensive strength. It is also worthwhile noting that Tengen's CT is simply not suitable for battle since it is a protective one and holds no offensive power.

Sukuna: Sukuna is a more complicated case and this might be by design. He isn't driven by hatred, his actions are calculated with certain self-centered outcomes in mind. He is simply indifferent to everyone except himself. The question of attachment is a little complicated, as Sukuna has no emotional attachments to anything or anyone and sees no meaning in anything, except in his self-centered pursuit of pleasure. And what brings him most pleasure is to battle. A thirst for bloodshed, which nobody so far had been able to satisfy. He is also portrayed as prideful. His sense of self is enormous. He actively rejects any form of love, even deems it as useless, which is inherently anti-buddhist. Despite that, solely based on his reduced attachment and absent aversion, he should be placed close to the stage of Non-returner (Stage 3 out of 4), with only his egocentrism and pursuit of bloodshed preventing him from achieving complete enlightenment. And it makes sense, because what would someone, who is free of all shackles but without an ounce of kindness in him, look like? Probably a whole lot like Sukuna

When we think about stages of enlightenment mirroring a sorcerer's mastery of jujutsu, then it becomes more evident why Gojo lost to Sukuna – Sukuna's understanding of the The Four Noble Truths was more advanced and therefore his understanding of Jujutsu exceeded Gojo's.

Imo every single sorcerer has to have reached some kind of level of enlightenment, as I think it's necessary to be able to get to even a low level of mastery of Jujutsu. I think Gege likely thinks in terms of way smaller and more variable steps towards enlightenment, but I am going only by the legitimate information I can find in relation to Buddhism, while trying to keep headcanons out of this analysis part.

Kenjaku and the vision of anti-enlightenment: Kenjaku personifies the antithesis to Tengen – someone who understands the Dharma and the Four Noble Truths and who intends to corrupt the world even further through this knowledge. Kenjaku is the archetype of a character who wants to play god. He messes with the process of natural creation, tries to disrupt the natural order and intervenes in the balance of life. All of his actions reflect a complete disregard for Buddhist values. This begins with the nature of his Cursed Technique, which in itself is a form of stealing (inhabitating other’s bodies and using their powers). He makes Binding Vows with Sorcerers which disrupt the natural cycle of rebirth and he makes them with the intent to betray those vows once he again switches bodies. The Culling Games consist of ten colonies, which reference the Ten Fetters, which are the very roadblocks to enlightenment. Higuruma states that Kenjaku’s very goal with the Culling Games is “permanence”, which goes against the natural impermanence of all things. Even Kenjaku's Domain Expansion symbolizes an abuse of his knowledge, as we see the Five Wisdom Buddhas surround a horde of Cursed Spirits, in what is a corruption of it's original meaning. Kenjaku's actions reflect the active effort to push humanity and life into the very opposite direction of enlightenment. Remember, Tengen states that enlightenment is a process that inevitably will happen, if one lives long enough. It’s a natural consequence of life. One Kenjaku will prevent through his actions.

The soul, the body, enlightenment and Cursed Energy – the core problem of Jujutsu Kaisen

So, what do we know by now?

We know that the soul is linked to the body in an almost karmic way. Everything that alters the soul, also alters the body. These two are related, although they are not symbiotic. The body does not change the soul in return and it is not the soul itself. They are separate entities.

We know that the degree of someone's enlightenment reflects their mastery of Jujutsu, because Jujutsu is energy born from suffering. To master suffering means to reach enlightenment.

We know that the brains of sorcerers are different from non-sorcerers.

Changes within the soul alter the body (specifically the brain). Mahito used soul manipulation to alter Junpei's brain into developing a Cursed Technique.

Different abilities stem from different areas of the brain. The ability to perceive Cursed Spirits is different from the ability to control Cursed Energy. RCT specifically is stated to be located in the frontal lobe. Cursed Energy is located in the gut, which seems to be a reference to the gut-brain axis.

The soul is the source of all emotion. If enlightenment affects one's emotions, then it also must be affecting the soul

Based on these observation we can conclude that Yuki had the right instinct, when she started studying the soul in order to figure out how to rid the world of Cursed Energy.

According to Buddhism when one is reborn they are believed to have to start right back at 0 in terms of their enlightenment journey. The reason is simply that in traditional Buddhism there is no belief in a permanent soul which were to remain constant throughout each rebirth. In traditional Buddhism upon death the old self gets extinguished and all that is left is all the karma one has accumulated, which then determines the circumstances of one's rebirth. But what if within the universe of Jujutsu Kaisen and the existence of souls in it each person retains whichever level of enlightenment they have reached and continues on from that stage on into the next lifetime? What if that is how sorcerers came to be? What if they are all the result of the many lifetimes, which they have went through and all the experiences that have led their souls and therefore their brains to evolve? Gege uses the term evolution, when speaking about enlightenment within the story. Evolution is adaptation. The fact that highly graded Jujutsu Sorcerers get born into Non-Sorcerer (Geto and Todo most notably) families feels like a validation of that idea. In the same vain Naoya maintained his CT after getting reborn as a Vengeful Spirit. Gojo shifted the balance of the world from the very moment he was born. How would that be possible for a newborn who had to start at 0% ? Like I mentioned before, Tengen states that when one lives long enough evolution is inevitable. It is just that due to her own immortality that she experiences the process in one go, while maintaining the same identity and therefore the memory of the process.

Heavenly Restriction - an affliction of the soul ?: Since the problem of Cursed Energy must be resolved, the origin of it must also be analyzed. The only way to do that is through analyzing Toji and Maki, and what sets them apart from everyone else.

Toji is nicknamed as “the one who left it all behind”. His lifestyle inherently portrays the antithesis of what a Buddhist should aspire to: He is an assassin for a living, he gambles, he freeloads, he doesn’t speak kindly. So what could possibly set him apart from others, in the context of spirituality and how it relates to Cursed Energy? The most core aspect of Toji lies in his alias: He didn't want for anything. He only deviated from this attitude, when presented with the opportunity to kill Gojo, when a desire to become better than Jujutsu Sorcerers took hold of him. This reverting back to attachment is also reflected in him remembering Megumi in the moment of his short-lived success. If he had stuck with this mental shift, his body might have after a while started to create Cursed Energy.

Remember when I stated that Gojo's enlightenment moment in Hidden Inventory reflected a temporary state of serenity instead of, as many assume, apathy? What if, just like some readers, the body struggles to tell the difference? All it senses is that the soul stopped experiencing suffering, wether it is because one voluntarily let go of all attachments or wether they were depressed to the point of total apathy, might not make a difference to the body. If Toji was already born this way, then the idea of the soul remaining a permanent part of the self throughout each life cycle would hint that Toji had carried these emotions from a previous life into his next one.

And what about Maki? Maki was only born a non-sorcerer but not entirely free of all Cursed Energy until she lost her sister. Binding Vow and twin-lore aside, what happened to her spiritually in that moment? According to Maki's own words, she lost her heart. This highlights the very significance of Mai to her - Mai was the one thing Maki clung to, the one thing that mattered enough to her to evoke such strong emotions in her. Once Mai died, just like Toji, Maki didn't want for anything. She didn't care for the acknowledgement of her clan or even the existence of it. She did what her sister asked her to do and felt no particular way about it. Even Yuji and Megumi later on notice the shift in her demeanor, which turned completely unaffected.

Every other character clings to something to some degree, these two appear to be the exception. Sukuna desires bloodshed, Kenjaku desires the creation of something greater than him, Gojo clings to his regrets, Megumi clings to Tsumiki, Takaba clings to his dream of becoming a successful comedian, Kamo clings to his mother, Mechamaru clings to his wish to be with Miwa and the list goes on.

Yuji Itadori – The one who will teach you about love Lets get to the most important character in the story.

We see him start off as someone who is incredibly compassionate and who is highly attuned to what other people are feeling. We learn that he is physically incredibly strong and that he has the ability to act as a “cage” for the strongest sorcerer in history. With the information we have we can conclude that his physical strength reflects an incredibly strong soul, and that this strength might also be the reason why his soul is able to suppress Sukuna's soul and therefore keep him from taking over the body they shared. We don't know what exactly makes a soul “strong”, but one thing even Sukuna notes about Yuji is his will to be unbreakable.

We watch him suffer through seemingly endless horrors, through which in turn his mastery of Jujutsu improves. This makes perfect sense, since we now know that understanding suffering is a core step towards enlightenment. He learns to control his emotions in the face of his losses, which is best illustrated in the difference in his reaction to Nobara's death and Choso's death. This is not because Yuji cared less about Choso, but because Yuji grew spiritually. He is not driven by greed or resentment either, but only through his desire to be unbreakable in his pursuit of protecting people. Sounds pretty Buddhist, doesn't it? The Mudra Yuji uses for his domain derives from Kṣitigarbha, a Bodhisattva, who vowed to not reach Nirvana, until he has emptied all of hell. Seeing as Cursed Spirits are the very manifestation of hell creatures, Yuji's role in the story becomes more obvious than ever: He will be the one to rid the world of this hell manifested on earth, by freeing everyone of Cursed Energy.

A vision for the end Yuji will kill Sukuna.

But death is not a final end, if one gets reborn. Killing Sukuna, only for him to get reborn with the same soul and therefore same feelings and attitudes, would only temporarily alleviate the problem. Eventually the calamity that is Ryomen Sukuna would reappear and wreak the same havoc as before. This means that for the sake of the story Sukuna must not get reborn. Remember how I believe that Gege changed the rules of Samsara and Nirvana? That in Jujutsu Kaisen rebirth is not a matter of full enlightenment but of choice? Specifically getting to choose between South or North? Nanami chose South and therefore rebirth because he has hope for the future. There are things he still looks forwards to. He has a reason to go back and not want to die for good. Now, what is the one thing that Sukuna still craves? The reason he turned himself into a cursed object? Bloodlust. This seemingly unsatisfiable lust for battle. The only way for Sukuna to voluntarily exit the rebirth cycle is for this desire to get quenched. His sole, self-centered attachment to life.

Yuji will give him this satisfaction by demolishing him in a way he has never experience before and ironically it will be the greater kindness Yuji could offer to him. After that he will be able to die peacefully and never come back. This would also, beyond the idea of approaching all beings with compassion, explain why Gojo felt bad that he couldn't give Sukuna the same satisfaction he received from that battle - he likely knew Sukuna wouldn't be able to go peacefully as long as it remained unsatisfied. This resolution is as necessary for Sukuna as it was for both Kashimo and Gojo. The difference is that Sukuna doesn't long for anything else, unlike Gojo and Kashimo, who still craved for the connection to others. I believe Kashimo specifically was introduced for the sole reason of setting up Sukuna's death in this manner.

Sukuna's death will be not the end of the story, since the main problem still hasn't been resolved. Yuji still has to bring about the cessation of Cursed Energy and this can only be accomplished through the merger, as it is the only device in the story through which such a significant change on this large of a scale could be enacted. And as the game master and someone in the hold of the darkest kind of desperation, Megumi will set the merger off, even after being freed from Sukuna.

I have tried to make the case that ridding everyone of Cursed Energy does not mean that humanity has to reach complete enlightenment. By trying to understand what sets Maki and Toji apart from everyone, I have tried to deduct which aspect of enlightenment is responsible for the change of the body's constitution towards not creating Cursed Energy. I don't feel 100% confident in the assumption that it is attachment (desire, greed, clinging), but I am failing to come up with anything else, based on what we know so far into the story, hence why I am basing the rest of my theory on that assumption.

The goal of Kenjaku was to merge all of humanity through Tengen and turn them into something which exceeds a Cursed Spirit. Tengen describes that each individual will still retain their identity, their soul, while they all merge into interconnectedness. She describes that one soul's emotions will threaten to sweep over to everyone else in a domino effect, threatening to throw everyone into darkness. But what if Yuji is the wildcard in this equation? We know that Yuji's soul is exceptionally strong, so what if, within the confines of the merger, he is able to influence everyone into a moment of enlightenment, a moment of evolution? And what if through this the eradication of all Cursed Energy is possible?

If the factor which creates Cursed Energy is attachment, meaning people's greed and tendency to cling to things, then the loss of attachment in all of humanity, would resolve the following issues:

Non-sorcerers would no longer produce Cursed Energy and go on living as before.

There would be no Curse Users who could abuse their power.

Cursed Spirits would cease to exist.

The political threat of Cursed Energy as an energy source is resolved.

Megumi, who's suffering is mainly caused by his clinging to Tsumiki, will be saved from his desperate mental state.

Another aspect of Yuji's characterization is that his attacks affect the soul. I think we can assume that not only can Yuji attack other's souls but he can also see or at least feel it. It is often illustrated just how compassionate Yuji is and we see Mahito explain that emotions come from the soul. Mahito himself could see Nanami's true feelings, because he can see his soul waver. I think it is not too far fetched to say that because of this Yuji can also detect the space between two souls.

This brings me to the second part of my theory: Yuji will also be able to separate the souls of everyone who got sucked into the merger, because he can differentiate them all from another, just like he can tell the difference between Sukuna's and Megumi's soul. This might be done through a Binding Vow, through which Yuji sacrifices his own life for the sake of saving humanity by separating everyone from the merger. With this Yuji will have accomplished what he had set his mind to do: He killed Cursed Spirits and he killed Sukuna. All while setting an example for what love truly is – benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, amity, good will, and care for others. I believe that as he makes that Binding Vow, which settles his fate of death, he will have achieve true detachment form all greed and desire, which in turn, through the connection of the merger, impacts everyone else, in the short moments before the merger finally disperses. It might sound cheesy, but in essence the “power of love” will bring salvation in the form of Yuji Itadori. It is not a romantic love but a pure love.

I assume that we will get a major time-skip after that, specifically a time-skip that shows Japan after major reconstruction, while also showing us the reborn versions of our favorite characters enjoying life free of the burden of Jujutsu. (To push this idea further I even thought that the new art of Gojo, Megumi and Yuji could be what their future selves will look like, since it has a bit of a futuristic vibe to it, though not extremely so.)

This is what I believe the resolution of the story could look like. Or maybe not because who knows what Gege is thinking.

There is one thing which bothers me in terms of this theory: It has no room for Megumi to use his fully realized Domain Expansion. Gege has put a lot of thought into Megumi's Cursed Technique, which references Yakushi Nyorai, who is associated with healing. The Mudra Megumi uses and his Ten Shadows are inspired by Nyorai. Additionally it is worth noting that his Shikigami mirror the Ten Sacred Treasures of Shintoism, which when put together are supposed to be able to even revive the dead. Not only that but the object inside his domain seems to be a part of the cervial vertebrae and the enteric nervous system. But yeah, idk where to fit that in so I will just ignore it for now lol.

Thanks for reading! Please forgive mistakes of any kind.

#jujutsu kaisen #analysis #jjk #jjk 265 #yuji itadori #toji fushiguro #maki zenin #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru #tengen #kenjaku #sukuna #prediction #theory #buddhism #symbolism

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