#WHAT IF THIS IS A TEST

[batkidd]

THINKING OF WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD TAKE THIS UNOPENED PACK OF CIGARETTES SOMEONE LEFT BEHIND ON THE TRAIN

[zelkams-art]

in all timelines in all possibilities only you can show me this

[anistarrose]

Disability is not a punishment, but I think the world would be genuinely improved if every person involved in writing or regulating ingredient labels was mysteriously inflicted with at least one food allergy falling under each of the following categories: "natural flavors," "modified food starch," "artificial flavors," "spices," and "color." Down with ingredient labels so vague that they defeat the entire fucking point.

[goomyloid]

The remorseful player

[batman-katflap]

When the Batkids all realise Bruce is so tooth rottingly supportive of his family, they start a competition to test just how far this support goes.

Jason makes tshirts with crude sayings and even cruder drawings on them.

Bruce wears them without question.

Tim makes an app that just tells you what your nut of the day is.

Bruce uses it everyday.

The rest of the clan try it themselves and only stop when Dick hires out a theatre and preforms a one man play slash interpretive dance for all the family.

Bruce is the only one to not pull out their phone or look bored even when the performance goes into its forth hour.

After that they realise there is no ceiling. They could do anything and Bruce will be behind them 100 percent.

[aznisure]

belly of the beast

[pyrus-salicifolia]

“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.

[archivebottles]

went on a sidequest this past week to draw some horse girls

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[hinamie]

together, we do the same thing again //

[bbbbbbbbatman]

I think it'd be funny if the identity reveal was super anticlimactic. Clark has an interview scheduled with Bruce Wayne about some new project or initiative the company is doing and he walks into Bruce's office and sits down and through a combination of sounds/smells/matching injuries/whatever just immediately recognizes him as Batman and is so surprised he can't contain his reaction and he's just like "Batman...?"

And Bruce loses the Brucie Wayne posture immediately, rolls his eyes and just says, unsurprised and a bit condescending, "Superman."

And then they just sit there in silence, staring at each other, Clark very confused and Bruce clearly annoyed at how quickly Superman recognized him. And when it becomes clear Bruce isn't going to say anything further, Clark looks down at his notes where he has some questions written down and, without knowing what else to do, just awkwardly starts with the first question.

The following interview is one of the strangest he's ever done. Bruce gives some very typical Brucie Wayne answers but all completely deadpan, hardly any inflection. He's also clearly grumpy the entire time. Aside from Bruce not acting like Brucie Wayne, there is no further mention or acknowledgement of their superhero identities. Clark goes back to Metropolis in a daze and still isn't convinced that the whole thing wasn't a fever dream.

[egophiliac]

sorry guys, you're like twenty feet from shore, you're basically dead already.

(also I choose to believe that Malleus just spends the rest of the event with ham on his face. it's better that way.)

(seriously, I can't wait for this poor couple to excitedly get all dressed up in their wedding best and embark on the most romantic day of their lives, only to suddenly have Malleus Draconia pop up out of nowhere, covered in ham and Grim spit, and scream "BOAT! BOAT! LA LA LA" while gently misting them with a dinky little novelty water gun...in the name of LOVE)

(this event is amazing)

(RIP Grim though)

[sunderwight]

On a moshang kick but there's just something extremely compelling about the idea of Mobei Jun spending years expecting Shang Qinghua to betray him, getting impatient waiting for the axe to drop, deliberately creating opportunities for Shang Qinghua to betray him, still no betrayal happens, until eventually it gets to the point where Shang Qinghua has like, the fantastical demon king equivalent of Mobei Jun's credit card numbers and a joint account and free access to his bedroom and food and a great big cabinet full of poison and his detailed schedule and the exact time when he'll be bathing naked with no weapons under the moonlight at the one time every five years when all ice demons temporarily lose their powers for a full night and etc etc. Mobei Jun is doing trust falls (even though he doesn't know it) but Shang Qinghua just keeps catching him.

Until the whole lack of explicit communication and cultural differences thing explodes, and even then the big betrayal that finally happens is that Shang Qinghua saves Mobei Jun's life but then LEAVES HIM, he GOES AWAY, he doesn't even push Mobei into his own metaphorical abyss he just goes "this isn't worth putting up with anymore" and forces Mobei Jun to confront the fact that in his determination to be reassured he actually failed to prove himself to Shang Qinghua in return, which reduces Mobei Jun to a shattered wreck struggling to figure out how to fix it.

[leafyeyes417]

Struck from his vocabulary

Danny was talking to Sam and Tucker one day. He knew he was adopted but didn’t know anything about his birth parents. They had all tried to search between ghost attacks but hadn’t made any headway. Unfortunately Danny hadn’t been paying attention when he groaned out, “I wish I could learn who my bio parents are.”

Danny really thought he had struck the w word from his vocabulary. He realized his error when Desiree popped up and poofed him away after ‘granting his wish.’ Ending up in a fancy dining room with like 10 people staring at him startled, was even worse.

Danny growled. “Fudge! I said the Taboo!” He continued cursing (in book titles. No one could swear in Amity due to a previous w—h, it’s habit now). He was interrupted by one of them chuckling. “I’ve never heard anyone curse in book titles before, I’m stealing that.”

There was a sigh from a tired looking kid. “That honestly fits you.” Then the older looking man finally speaks up. “Can you tell us your name? And how you got here? What was that about a Taboo?”

Danny sighs. “I’m Danny. Can I get your names first so I know who I’m talking to?” After being introduced to the Waynes (not that Danny realizes who they are, he’s never been interested in celebrities unless it involves space), and the Butler Alfred insisting he sit down and eat (he was starving), Danny continues. “Anyway, the Taboo in our town is the w word. Say it and weird stuff happens. Like me disappearing from my home town to here. Where are we anyway?”

To say Danny had a mini freak out about ending up in Gotham from the middle of nowhere Illinois and how he was going to get home after finding out his new location…

[starcurtain]

Comparing Aventurine's "Keeping Up With Star Rail" to Mydei's is so funny because

Ratio: 🥺👉👈 D-Does he like me?

Meanwhile...

Phainon: I would like to confirm, for the public record, that Mydei and I fuck.