#Where to Get Adderall
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#evan buckley#buck#evan buck buckley#buck 911#evan buckley 911#9-1-1#9 1 1 show#911#oliver stark#shitpost#oliver stark 911#i donāt know where exactly this still is from heās just very cute in it#iām that one lesbian on tumblr that doesnāt play about buck nine one one⦠thatās oomf#this is so stupid iām sorry#bisexual#i think the strange bisexual man on adderall label actually applies to him too lol#buck doesnāt get enough shit for being from pennsylvania i thinkā¦#this is not buddie related but it shall happen trustšāāļø
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start a contract next week
#i cant wait to get demolished :'))))) i have no tallent bruhs it's just a facade#anyone know where i can get some adderall maybe that will help hehe
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hanging out
#rain world#rain world fanart#rw slugcat#rw batfly#rw overseer#art#my art#finding it weirdly difficult to work on stuff lately#unless i get it done in one go it gets pushed to the WIP Pileā¢#where uninked comics go to die#idk idk maybe i'll push thru it#or maybe i'll get on adderall#whatever it takes
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does anyone want to do tons of cocaine with me and keep me alive forever
#diary#iām calling this Stimulants Day. where i do a bunch of stimulants (take my adderall but drink more coffee than normal)#to get all my tasks done
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āhey so weāre gonna need you to focus up and pay attention and not talk for 3 hours straight. and no you canāt look at your phone or ask brief questions or think out loud and 98% of what will be said wonāt apply to you.ā
āalso i know you have adhd and that you said your adderall wore off but so do i. you just have to learn.ā
do you seriously think i am capable of that. what if i blew you up with a cool wizard beam attack? what if the beam was purple.
#this is NOT a threat aimed at anyone specifically AT ALL#i will not commit violence NOR WILL I CONDONE IT#but honestly iām so fucking TIRED of being told to ājust pay attentionā and āwork harder on focusingā#i have a fucking DISORDER WHERE MY BRAIN DOES NOT FUCKING WORK CORRECTLY#well i have adhd too. everyone does.#okay? what type then? you on adderall? how many jobs did you lose because of it?#how many times have you almost had to deal with legal issues because of it? how many times did you almost fail college because of it?#iām tired of ableism by people that āhave adhd tooā#you know good and goddamn well we arenāt all the same and severity and symptoms differ from person to person#honestly this is about a hobby that i love doing that iām now considering quitting#iām not the only victim to the overall ableism BUT#refusal to accommodate and demanding compliance in a space thatās supposed to be accepting#yeah no. i canāt sit for 4 fucking hours off adderal and do nothing#and itās like i do do something for a cumulative 1 hour of that time#i am seriously considering quitting and it breaks my heart#adhd#ableism#i donāt want to but i also donāt want to deal with ableism everything i do something non neurotypical that people have decided is#ādistractingā#iām making quiet comments under my breath not to anyone next to or near me#and iām not really willing to go through the process of trying to explain this shit to ableists who claim having the same disorder makes#our experiences and disability levels the same#iāve had to fight this shit my whole life. i do this hobby because itās fun#itās not fun if youāre gonna tell me to sit and do nothing for 4 hours and get mad when i stop paying attention#or if i ask questions or talk to myself.#iām so fucking tired of this shit.#my grown adult ass is now at the point where i do whatever the fuck i want forever#and sitting around for 3 cumulative hours is not what i fucking want to do
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Ack!
*hugs Kevin back, just going along with his movement*
Yay-
#???#answered asks#ask response#( ooc > )#happy hugging continuing as kevin just literally can't keep still#(someone give him Adderall- /hj *he ran out a while ago- but he's LEGALLY dead so where tf do you get Adderall for him lmao-*)
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldnāt be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books theyād read as kids and im just over here likeš§š½#Iāve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldnāt focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldnāt pay attention I couldnāt read long books I couldnāt turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#donāt get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but thatās only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didnāt start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didnāt do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah itās Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I donāt even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#Iām not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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deltarune.............
#ive only just started chapter 4 NO SPOILERS#i ran out of adderall and havent been able to get a new prescription so im slooowly chipping away at the new chapters#but yeah that's where ive been the past couple days lol#alli talks
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was wondering why i just started seeing shadow ppl in my peripheral and i totally forgot i didnt go to bed last night so i havent actually slept in 36+hours JKLFKSL OOPS
#in my defense i was playing bioshock#BUT tonight ive been editing this paper for like 6 hours and i totally lost track of time#<< thank you Adderall Focus ā¢ļø effect for kicking in at 10pmš§š»āāļø 12 hrs post ingestion. thats so helpful :]#weird rant idk where in me it came from but it j started spilling out HAHA ->#ppl get annoyed when others 'brag' about how little they sleep at night and that inadvertantly makes ME annoyed lmao cuz like#1st of all we are NOT comparing sleep hours in an effort to competeš¤Øu ever think maybe we like to relate w u ? and what ur talking abt ?#2nd ion think anyone purposefully stays up all night for the purpose of bragging lol thats stupid. sometimes we (me) literally j forget toš« #but yeah like i said did u ever think we're literally just trying to relate to the topic of discussion ?? but#but so many ppl think others are 'making it a competition' when we bring up our stats in conversation adjacent to urs#like okay so like its not that deep ? ur not the main character its not abt u actually ?? do i look like the person who likes competitionš#also when i say 'we' im referring to my fellow ND//audhd brains lol not just the insomniacs š«¶š»š®āšØ#cuz as yk- we audhd's dk how to engage like a normal person š§š»āāļøso we j kinda self insert w things we relate to in hopes it sticks HAHA#which is also another reason why ppl think we're 'trying to one up' you like ?? where does that thought even come fromš¤Øweirdoš«µ#idk how to make friends i just act all sweet n quiet til ppl actually realize im hilarious n not the clean minded quiet gorl (hey rye)š„“
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okay i literally have to stop playing i'm so tired i don't feel like i'm recording memories anymore. i like poe so far, i really do like crpgs. i like my watcher and i really feel a connection to her as An OC. something that's quite a novelty to me. i hope tomorrow instead of playing for four hours over the course of twelve maybe i can actually play it in the daytime? for however long i want unimpeded by how tired i am? and within 30 minutes of me deciding it's time to? could be huge.
#it's so crazy that it took several weeks & multiple adderall to get me to the point where i could relax/focus enough to sit still & play it#who tf needs performance enhancing drugs to play video games...#whatever. i'm gonna fancast my oc and think about her until i fall asleep.#adam yaps
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i dont rlly ship the triangle with ford but i will admit @/stump not found tumblr.com does it in a really interesting way. i like that they're messy and i hope that those two specific versions of them make eachother worse until they die together in a pool of blood
#and i mean it like. white college girl drunk on adderall and 13 redbulls. THEY'RE MESSYYYYYYY#however that's the only way i enjoy the pairing. stuff where bill gets Better or human is. yuck. i would rather Not.#especially if theraprism sticks him with the pines fam. why would they do that. the real ford would pulverize him immediately#& so would the rest of them actually. and soos being mad is SCARY#ptpc post
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Being in a creative rut sucks. Basically, all I can do right now feels like line art. Painting is so hard right now. Can't wait for when I get out of the rut though, I'm sure I'll make some real nice stuff hehehehehe
Need something to boost me out of this rut. Like commissions....
Ive also always wanted to work on some kind of collaborative project. I get the feeling the pressure of having other people rely on me would really help my focus. I have so many ideas, specifically VNs, that i bet would be so good, but its so hard to start anywhere on my own. Also, I just wanna have fun with people.
#a honk of my own#with the VNs#i do feel like i could do almost all of it on my own#the art#the writing#even the coding seems simple#but the music....#i have no musical experience#thats where id get stumped#where id get stuck searching for royalty free stuff to use#i do wanna learn music too though#god... if i could focus....#if you gave me adderall i bet i would be unstoppable
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ok so like i sure just got out of highschool and am now uh. after years of social isolation friends w the ppl who drank and did drugs and partied and dated and had like these ridiculous huge eventful lives already. disproportion amount of ppl i know are nicotine addicts. (30% of genz are smokers i know like 10 ppl and at least 6 of them are smokers. double the average ! how interesting.) and like it is completely understandable right out of highschool if u were. not one of these ppl. who had any amount of life experience. to come out of it and be like woah wait i missed out on like. so much ? ppl actually did things ? left their houses ? what do u mean ex ur 18 you cant have an ex that like emotionally scarred u that way yet what huh why are all of u talking like this why are you so. grown. what do u mean years of therapy healed from crazy childhood trauma already. what. so anyway what im saying is that its a crazy setback to be a loser in highschool but as soon as u leave its ur job to put the work in to bridge that gap and it sucks but u literally cant mope all day you'll die and then the cool ppl who you wish you had during highschool'll pass you by. and then what.
#also u cannot peak in highschool.#but i feel like me looking at all these ppl part of the i cant see any of them as already peaked#is probably bc im at like the top school in canada and everyone (who are like always drinking and going out and have. over 3.5 gpas.)#wants to be a fuckin. neurosurgeon biochemist tech billionaire ass. fuckers.#i am in hell i need to find a loser for me to remember im not the stupidest worst off person on planet earth.#crazy drive to become normal though. like what the fuck. what the fuck. i need to have a 4.0 i have been to a frat once i cannot have a#lower gpa than u party animals. what the fuck.#i need to go get my mental illnesses dealt w every1 is like girl im on ssris and melatonin and therapy and adderall and weed and-#like maybe this is improving their academic performance a little. freeing up brain space a little.#less. need to die everyone hates me the world is a hateful terrifying place and more. scheduling. studying.#very. evry1 also telling me this all the time. but fuckkk idc what u say to doctor. where is a step by step script on how to talk to doctor#i need to make that.#life is hell. anyway. uh. get over highschool problems get into current u problems.
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cleaning my craft room a lil at a time. at least its something.
#im also drinking the rest of my mangorita#but hey if i can at least get my craft room half together from where it is rn#thatd be amazing considering the lack of adderall
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At the risk of sounding on high horse, those of you who can't stomach politics but want to make change in the world, have you considered early childhood education?
It's definitely no picnic, low wages, lots of burnout. But!
You make such a difference in people's lives.
Children are mirrors that reflect their surroundings. If you show them love, compassion, kindness, and respect, it will come radiating out of them like the son.
I don't have children of my own (thank god), but I've laid the foundation for over one hundred and fifty kids to be good humans.
The first five years of life are some of the most important in a person's development.
( source: https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-development/most-important-phase-life-class)
If you are sick and tired of grownups, kids are a breath of fresh air. Watching them work out conflicts, find solutions, overcome obstacles, is heartwarming. Now can my students be mean and nasty as hell? For sure! But we can learn from that. We talk about "it's okay to feel angry. It's not okay to hurt someone." and "You can ask for what you need, and people will help."
You don't have to go door to door, phonebanking, listen to NPR politics twice a day to make a difference in the future.
You can start small.
#teaching#early childhood education#early childhood development#kids#i just love my students a lot#and when older ones come back to visit me#even the ones who dont remember me#i know the effects are far reaching.#I've successfully helped so many disabled students from getting kicked out#and getting them ecsped programs where appropriate#their communication and self regulation skills are off the charts. compared to where we started.#every child deserves to have someone who understands them. even if they have trouble communicating. even if it is difficult.#anyways rant over I'm just full of adderall and love for my students.
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i did pretty good today ^_^ actually drew some solid artpieces for my art blog layout without having troubles focusing and without constantly standing up from my desk and pacing around the room,, , it still happened a Couple of times but not a lot so i'm pretty proud of myself for being able to do anything today :]
#listen. I am in no way an expert nor am i trying to claim that i have adhd or i am neurodivergent. However#with how hard i find it to just start doing tasks or keeping focus on things i can't help but Wonder if adderall could help me#like i could literally open a canvas and just stare at it for hours or constantly lose focus on the artpieceā#by once again. Getting up from my desk and pacing around the room and sitting back down and then Repeat.#i don't know if adderall would help but at this point this issue just has been making me feel so disappointed in myself#actively bothering me and affecting the way i feel about myself. Which is Not Pleasant. Everything should be niceys to me Actually.#i'm probably just making up stuff to shift the blame on something else. Maybe it's just school taking a toll on me. Don't Know#but in the desperate of moments where i feel so bothered by not having done anything during the day#i cannot help but have a brief thought that adderall could Help Me possibly. passing over#but i'd say i did great for today considering my state for the last few days regarding art :] patting myself on the back..#yomoposting
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