#allocentric

[alunah-lalunah]

If you don't want to be stuck in medieval or even ancient pre-psychological and philosophical ideas try this:

What mystics call “void”?

Prefrontal override of limbic noise.

What gurus sell as “awakening”?

Executive detachment from affective fusion.

What esoteric seekers name “allocentric consciousness”?

Neocortical modeling of the self as if from outside.

[eckensysteme]

Glückforschung: Gleich­gewicht zwischen Egozentrismus und Allozentrismus

[rjalker]

we should use the word allocentrism more often it's very good at its job.

[the-evil-skull]

People on tumblr: omg they HUGGED?? and promised they would die for each other and would always find each other??? Looking at each other with such sincerity and seriousness??? OMG there is NO platonic explanation for this, would FRIENDS say this to each other LMAO XD love wins!

Me and my best friend Snips: if you and I were pirates in a past life I think we would be crewmates. Or at least we met. Maybe we saluted each other when our ships passed. Maybe we fought each other over a rum bottle. Maybe we met once in a bar in Spain and never saw each other again until we were hanged on the same gallows for our crimes. Maybe our skeletons were dumped in the same unhallowed mass grave. I think if there is reincarnation we'll cross paths whatever form we are in. I think you're my favorite. I think you're the coolest and prettiest. I love you. I think of letting you carry my story

[mrbrainrot]

fandom: probably they're actually repressing their feelings and just don't yet know that they do feel attraction.

Male character: I'm not attracted to women.

Fandom: Oh, he's gay.

Female character: I'm not attracted to men.

Fandom: Oh, she's a lesbian.

Any character: I'm not attracted to anybody.

Fandom: Well, we don't know that they're ace/aro/aroace. It's open for interpretation. They're not canonically ace/aro/aroace unless they specifically say they are.

Hmmmm. I wonder why we're so frustrated in fandom spaces. I wonder if there's a reason.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

600+ Personality Traits

as reference for your next poem/story

Positive Traits

Accessible - easy to speak to or deal with

Active - disposed to action; energetic

Adaptable - capable of being or becoming adapted (i.e., suited by nature, character, or design to a particular use, purpose, or situation)

Admirable - deserving the highest esteem

Adventurous - disposed to seek adventure or to cope with the new and unknown

Agreeable - ready or willing to agree or consent

Alert - watchful and prompt to meet danger or emergency

Allocentric - having one's interest and attention centered on other persons

Amiable - friendly, sociable, and congenial

Anticipative - given to anticipation (i.e., the act of looking forward)

Appreciative - having or showing appreciation (i.e., a favorable critical estimate)

Articulate - expressing oneself readily, clearly, and effectively

Aspiring - desiring and working to achieve a particular goal

Athletic - characteristic of an athlete; vigorous, active

Attractive - arousing interest or pleasure; charming

Balanced - being in a state of balance; having different parts or elements properly or effectively arranged, regulated etc.

Benevolent - marked by or disposed to doing good

Brilliant - distinguished by unusual mental keenness or alertness

Calm - free from agitation, excitement, or disturbance

Capable - having or showing general efficiency and ability

Captivating - charmingly or irresistibly appealing

Caring - feeling or showing concern for or kindness to others

Challenging - invitingly provocative; fascinating

Charismatic - having, exhibiting, or based on charisma (i.e., a special magnetic charm or appeal)

Charming - extremely pleasing or delightful; entrancing

Cheerful - full of good spirits; merry

Clean - pure; free from moral corruption or sinister connections of any kind; fair

Clearheaded - having or showing a clear understanding; perceptive

Clever - mentally quick and resourceful

Colorful - full of variety or interest

Companionable - marked by, conducive to, or suggestive of companionship; sociable

Compassionate - having or showing compassion; sympathetic

Conciliatory - intended to gain goodwill or favor or to reduce hostility

Confident - having or showing assurance and self-reliance

Conscientious - meticulous, careful

Considerate - thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others

Constant - marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness

Contemplative - marked by or given to contemplation (i.e., an act of considering with attention)

Cooperative - marked by a willingness and ability to work with others

Courageous - having or characterized by courage; brave

Courteous - marked by respect for and consideration of others

Creative - having the quality of something created rather than imitated; imaginative

Cultured - cultivated (i.e., refined, educated)

Curious - marked by desire to investigate and learn

Daring - venturesomely bold in action or thought

Debonair - suave, urbane; lighthearted, nonchalant

Decent - marked by moral integrity, kindness, and goodwill

Decisive - resolute, determined

Dedicated - devoted to a cause, ideal, or purpose; zealous

Deep - of penetrating intellect; wise

Dignified - showing or expressing dignity (i.e., the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed)

Directed - having a positive or negative sense

Disciplined - marked by or possessing discipline (i.e., orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior)

Discreet - prudent; modest; unobtrusive

Dramatic - having or showing a tendency to behave or react in an exaggerated way

Dutiful - filled with or motivated by a sense of duty

Dynamic - energetic, forceful

Earnest - characterized by or proceeding from an intense and serious state of mind

Ebullient - having or showing liveliness and enthusiasm

Educated - having an education; skilled

Efficient - productive of desired effects

Elegant - of a high grade or quality; splendid

Eloquent - marked by forceful and fluent expression

Empathetic - involving, characterized by, or based on empathy (i.e., the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another)

Energetic - operating with or marked by vigor or effect

Enthusiastic - filled with or marked by enthusiasm (i.e., strong excitement of feeling)

Esthetic - artistic; appreciative of, responsive to, or zealous about the beautiful

Exciting - producing excitement (i.e., something that rouses)

Extraordinary - exceptional to a very marked extent

Fair - marked by impartiality and honesty

Faithful - steadfast in affection or allegiance; loyal

Farsighted - having or showing foresight or good judgment; sagacious

Felicific - causing or intended to cause happiness

Firm - not weak or uncertain; vigorous

Flexible - characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements; tractable

Focused - a state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding

Forceful - possessing or filled with force; effective

Forgiving - allowing room for error or weakness

Forthright - free from ambiguity or evasiveness

Freethinking - thinking freely or independently

Friendly - showing kindly interest and goodwill

Fun-loving - lighthearted and lively

Gallant - nobly chivalrous and often self-sacrificing; spirited

Generous - liberal in giving; magnanimous

Gentle - free from harshness, sternness, or violence; docile

Genuine - free from hypocrisy or pretense; sincere

Good-natured - of a pleasant and cooperative disposition

Gracious - marked by kindness and courtesy

Hardworking - constantly, regularly, or habitually engaged in earnest and energetic work; industrious, diligent

Healthy - prosperous, flourishing

Hearty - enthusiastically or exuberantly cordial; jovial

Helpful - of service or assistance; useful

Heroic - exhibiting or marked by courage and daring

High-minded - marked by elevated principles and feelings; also: pretentious

Honest - genuine, real; marked by integrity

Honorable - deserving of respect or high regard; illustrious

Humble - not proud or haughty; unpretentious

Humorous - full of or characterized by humor; funny

Idealistic - of or relating to idealists or idealism (i.e., having a standard of perfection, beauty, or excellence)

Imaginative - given to imagining; having a lively imagination

Impressive - making or tending to make a marked impression; having the power to excite attention, awe, or admiration

Incisive - impressively direct and decisive

Incorruptible - incapable of being bribed or morally corrupted

Independent - not requiring or relying on others

Individualistic - pursuing a markedly independent course in thought or action

Innovative - characterized by, tending to, or introducing innovations (i.e., a new idea, method, or device)

Inoffensive - giving no provocation; peaceable

Insightful - exhibiting or characterized by insight (i.e., the power or act of seeing into a situation)

Insouciant - lighthearted unconcern; nonchalance

Intelligent - guided or directed by intellect; rational

Intuitive - possessing or given to intuition or insight

Invulnerable - immune to or proof against attack

Kind - of a sympathetic or helpful nature

Knowledgeable - having or showing knowledge or intelligence-

Leisurely - characterized by leisure; unhurried

Liberal - marked by generosity; openhanded; broad-minded

Logical - skilled in logic; analytic; capable of reasoning

Lovable - having qualities that attract affection

Loyal - unswerving in allegiance

Lyrical - having an artistically beautiful or expressive quality suggestive of song

Magnanimous - showing or suggesting a lofty and courageous spirit

Many-sided - having many sides or aspects; interests or aptitudes

Mature - based on slow careful consideration

Methodical - habitually proceeding according to method

Meticulous - marked by extreme or excessive care in the consideration or treatment of details

Moderate - avoiding extremes of behavior or expression; calm, temperate

Modest - decent; unpretentious

Multi-leveled - having a scale (as of difficulty or achievement) with multiple positions or ranks

Natural leader - a person who has qualities that a good leader has

Neat - habitually clean and orderly

Nonauthoritarian - not authoritarian (i.e., of, relating to, or favoring a concentration of power in a leader or an elite not constitutionally responsible to the people)

Objective - expressing or dealing with facts or conditions as perceived without distortion by personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations

Observant - paying strict attention; keen; mindful

Open - characterized by ready accessibility and usually generous attitude; responsive

Optimistic - of, relating to, or characterized by optimism; feeling or showing hope for the future

Orderly - well behaved; peaceful; tidy

Organized - having a formal organization to coordinate and carry out activities

Original - independent and creative in thought or action; inventive

Painstaking - taking pains; expending, showing, or involving diligent care and effort

Passionate - capable of, affected by, or expressing intense feeling; enthusiastic

Patient - bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; not hasty

Patriotic - befitting or characteristic of a patriot (i.e., one who loves and supports his or her country)

Peaceful - untroubled by conflict, agitation, or commotion; quiet, tranquil

Perceptive - responsive to sensory stimuli; discerning; observant

Perfectionist - having a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable

Personable - pleasant or amiable in person; attractive

Persuasive - tending to persuade (i.e., to move by argument, entreaty, or expostulation to a belief, position, or course of action)

Planful - full of plans; resourceful; scheming

Playful - full of play; frolicsome, sportive; humorous

Polished - characterized by a high degree of development, finish, or refinement; free from imperfections

Popular - commonly liked or approved

Practical - actively engaged in some course of action or occupation; useful

Precise - strictly conforming to a pattern, standard, or convention

Principled - exhibiting, based on, or characterized by principle (i.e., a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption)

Profound - having intellectual depth and insight

Protean - displaying great diversity or variety; versatile

Protective - intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression

Providential - coming or happening by good luck especially unexpectedly; fortunate

Prudent - having or showing good judgment and restraint especially in conduct or speech; cautious

Punctual - being on time; prompt

Purposeful - full of determination

Rational - having reason or understanding; reasonable

Realistic - able to see things as they really are and to deal with them in a practical way

Reflective - marked by reflection; thoughtful, deliberative

Relaxed - easy of manner; informal

Reliable - suitable or fit to be relied on; dependable

Resourceful - able to meet situations; capable of devising ways and means

Respectful - marked by or showing respect or deference

Responsible - able to answer for one's conduct and obligations; trustworthy

Responsive - quick to respond or react appropriately or sympathetically; sensitive

Reverential - expressing or having a quality of reverence (i.e., honor or respect felt or shown; deference)

Romantic - having an inclination for romance; responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous

Rustic - characteristic of or resembling country people

Sage - wise through reflection and experience

Sane - rational; able to anticipate and appraise the effect of one's actions

Scholarly - of, characteristic of, or suitable to learned persons; learned, academic

Scrupulous - having moral integrity; acting in strict regard for what is considered right or proper

Secure - trustworthy, dependable; assured in opinion or expectation; confident

Selfless - having no concern for self; unselfish

Self-critical - inclined to find fault with oneself; critical of oneself

Self-denying - showing self-denial (i.e., a restraint or limitation of one's own desires or interests)

Self-effacing - having or showing a tendency to make oneself modestly or shyly inconspicuous

Self-reliant - having confidence in and exercising one's own powers or judgment

Self-sufficient - capable of providing for one's own needs; haughty, overbearing

Sensitive - highly responsive or susceptible; delicate; touchy

Sentimental - marked or governed by feeling, sensibility, or emotional idealism

Seraphic - suggestive of or resembling a seraphim or angel

Serious - thoughtful or subdued in appearance or manner; sober

Sexy - sexually suggestive or stimulating; appealing

Sharing - to talk about one's thoughts, feelings, or experiences with others

Shrewd - marked by clever discerning awareness and hardheaded acumen

Simple - free from guile; innocent; modest; naive

Skillful - possessed of or displaying skill; expert

Sober - marked by temperance, moderation, or seriousness; calm

Sociable - inclined by nature to companionship with others of the same species; social

Solid - sound; reliable; serious in purpose or character

Sophisticated - finely experienced and aware; intellectually appealing

Spontaneous - controlled and directed internally; natural

Sporting - of, relating to, used, or suitable for sport

Stable - firmly established; enduring

Steadfast - firm in belief, determination, or adherence; loyal

Steady - not easily disturbed or upset; dependable

Stoic - not affected by or showing passion or feeling

Strong - extreme, intense; ardent; firm

Studious - assiduous in the pursuit of learning

Suave - smoothly though often superficially gracious and sophisticated

Subtle - delicate, elusive; obscure

Sweet - marked by gentle good humor or kindliness; agreeable

Sympathetic - given to, marked by, or arising from sympathy, compassion, friendliness, and sensitivity to others' emotions

Systematic - marked by thoroughness and regularity

Tasteful - having, exhibiting, or conforming to good taste

Teacherly - resembling, characteristic of, or befitting a teacher

Thorough - complete in all respects; having full mastery

Tidy - methodical, precise; neat and orderly

Tolerant - permitting or accepting something (such as a behavior or belief) that one does not like

Tractable - capable of being easily led, taught, or controlled; docile

Trusting - having or showing trust in another

Uncomplaining - accepting pains or hardships calmly or without complaint

Understanding - endowed with understanding; tolerant, sympathetic

Undogmatic - not dogmatic; not committed to dogma (i.e., something held as an established opinion)

Unfoolable -impossible to fool (i.e., deceive)

Upright - marked by strong moral rectitude

Urbane - notably polite or polished in manner

Venturesome - inclined to court or incur risk or danger; daring

Vivacious - lively in temper, conduct, or spirit; sprightly

Warm - secure; ardent; marked by or readily showing affection, gratitude, cordiality, or sympathy

Well-bred - having or displaying the politeness and good manners associated especially with people of high social class

Well-read - well-informed or deeply versed through reading

Well-rounded - fully or broadly developed

Winning - successful especially in competition; tending to please or delight

Wise - marked by deep understanding, keen discernment, and a capacity for sound judgment

Witty - marked by or full of clever humor or wit

Youthful - having the vitality or freshness of youth; vigorous

Neutral Traits

Absentminded - tending to forget or fail to notice things

Aggressive - marked by combative readiness

Ambitious - having a desire to be successful, powerful, or famous

Amusing - giving amusement; diverting

Artful - using or characterized by art and skill; dexterous

Ascetic - austere in appearance, manner, or attitude

Authoritarian - of, relating to, or favoring a concentration of power in a leader or an elite not constitutionally responsible to the people

Big-thinking - tendency to think about doing things that involve a lot of people, money, effort, etc.

Breezy - airy, nonchalant

Businesslike - serious, purposeful

Busy - full of activity; bustling

Casual - feeling or showing little concern; nonchalant; informal

Cautious - careful about avoiding danger or risk

Cerebral - primarily intellectual in nature

Chummy - quite friendly

Circumspect - careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences; prudent

Competitive - inclined, desiring, or suited to compete (i.e., to strive consciously or unconsciously for an objective)

Complex - having many parts or aspects that are usually interrelated; complicated; intricate

Confidential - entrusted with confidences

Conservative - marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners

Contradictory - involving, causing, or constituting a contradiction (i.e., logical incongruity)

Crisp - concise and to the point; lively

Cute - attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way

Deceptive - tending or having power to cause someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid

Determined - characterized by determination (i.e., the act of deciding definitely and firmly)

Dominating - dominant; domineering

Dreamy - quiet and soothing; delightful, ideal

Driving - acting with vigor; energetic

Droll - having a humorous, whimsical, or odd quality

Dry - not showing or communicating warmth, enthusiasm, or tender feeling; uninteresting; plain; aloof

Earthy - practical, down-to-earth; unsophisticated

Effeminate - having feminine qualities untypical of a man

Emotional - markedly aroused or agitated in feeling or sensibilities

Enigmatic - of, relating to, or resembling an enigma; mysterious

Experimental - of, relating to, or based on experience or experiment; tentative

Familial - of or relating to a household or family; homey; domestic

Folksy - homespun; having or showing an unpretentious informality

Formal - following or agreeing with established form, custom, or rules

Freewheeling - free and loose in form or manner

Frugal - economical; careful in the management of money or resources

Glamorous - full of glamour; excitingly attractive

Guileless - innocent, naive

High-spirited - characterized by a bold or energetic spirit

Hurried - going or working at speed; hasty

Hypnotic - readily holding the attention

Iconoclastic - tendency to not conform to generally accepted standards or customs

Idiosyncratic - peculiar; eccentric

Impassive - unsusceptible to or destitute of emotion; apathetic

Impersonal - withdrawn; having or showing no emotional warmth or interest in others

Impressionable - inexperienced; easy to influence

Intense - extreme in degree, power, or effect; passionate

Invisible - discreet; not readily seen or noticed

Irreligious - lacking religious emotions, principles, or practices

Irreverent - lacking proper respect or seriousness

Maternal - of, relating to, belonging to, or characteristic of a mother; motherly

Mellow - pleasant, agreeable; laid back

Modern - being or involving the latest methods, concepts, information, or styles

Moralistic - characterized by or expressive of a narrow moral attitude

Mystical - impossible to prove, understand, or explain by either the senses or intelligence

Neutral - not decided or pronounced as to characteristics; indifferent

Noncommittal - having no clear or distinctive character

Noncompetitive - not inclined towards or characterized by competition or rivalry

Obedient - submissive to the restraint or command of authority; willing to obey

Old-fashioned - adhering to customs of a past era; outmoded

Ordinary - being of the type that is encountered in the normal course of events; normal

Outspoken - direct and open in speech or expression; frank

Placid - serenely free of interruption or disturbance

Political - involving or charged or concerned with acts against a government or a political system

Predictable - behaving in a way that is expected

Preoccupied - lost in thought and unaware of one's surroundings or actions; distracted

Private - preferring to keep personal affairs to oneself

Progressive - liberal; not bound by traditional ways or beliefs

Proud - feeling or showing pride

Pure - having exactly the talents or skills needed for a particular role; immaculate; innocent

Questioning - skeptical; inclined to doubt or question claims

Quiet - calm; gentle; easygoing

Religious - scrupulously and conscientiously faithful; zealous

Reserved - restrained in words and actions

Restrained - not excessive or extravagant

Retiring - reserved, shy

Sarcastic - given to the use of sarcasm; caustic

Self-conscious - conscious of one's own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself

Sensual - devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or appetites

Skeptical - relating to, characteristic of, or marked by skepticism (i.e., an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object)

Smooth - amiable, courteous

Soft - lacking firmness or strength of character; feeble

Solemn - marked by grave sedateness and earnest sobriety

Solitary - not gregarious, colonial, social, or compound

Stern - having a definite hardness or severity of nature or manner; austere

Stolid - having or expressing little or no sensibility; unemotional

Strict - stringent in requirement or control

Stubborn - justifiably unyielding; resolute; mulish

Stylish - conforming to current fashion

Subjective - arising out of or identified by means of one's perception of one's own states and processes

Surprising - of a nature that excites surprise (i.e., a taking unawares)

Tough - capable of enduring strain, hardship, or severe labor

Unaggressive - not aggressive; not given to fighting or assertiveness

Unambitious - feeling or showing a lack of ambition (i.e., desire to achieve a particular end)

Unceremonious - not ceremonious; informal

Unchanging - constant, invariable

Undemanding - not requiring much time, effort, or attention

Unfathomable - incomprehensible; impossible to understand

Unhurried - not hurried; leisurely

Uninhibited - free from inhibition; boisterously informal

Unpatriotic - not feeling or showing love for or devotion to one's country

Unpredictable - tending to behave in ways that cannot be predicted

Unreligious - having no connection with or relation to religion; involving no religious import or idea

Unsentimental - not marked or governed by feeling, sensibility, or emotional idealism

Whimsical - characterized by whim or caprice; especially: lightly fanciful

Negative Traits

Abrasive - causing irritation

Abrupt - rudely or unceremoniously curt

Agonizing - causing agony (i.e., intense pain of mind or body)

Aimless - without aim or purpose

Airy - affected, proud

Aloof - removed or distant either physically or emotionally

Amoral - having or showing no concern about whether behavior is morally right or wrong

Angry - feeling or showing anger (i.e., a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism)

Anxious - characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency; worried

Apathetic - having or showing little or no interest, concern, or emotion

Arbitrary - marked by or resulting from the unrestrained and often tyrannical exercise of power

Argumentative - given to argument; disputatious

Arrogant - exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner

Artificial - imitation, sham

Asocial - not social; rejecting or lacking the capacity for social interaction

Assertive - disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior; aggressive

Astigmatic - showing incapacity for observation or discrimination

Bewildered - deeply or utterly confused or perplexed

Bizarre - strikingly out of the ordinary

Bland - dull, insipid

Blunt - insensitive

Boisterous - noisily turbulent; tumultuous

Brittle - lacking warmth, depth, or generosity of spirit; cold

Brutal - cruel, cold-blooded; harsh

Calculating - marked by prudent analysis or by shrewd consideration of self-interest; scheming

Callous - feeling or showing no sympathy for others; hard-hearted

Cantankerous - difficult or irritating to deal with

Careless - negligent, slovenly

Charmless - unpleasant and without charm or interest

Childish - marked by or suggestive of immaturity and lack of poise

Clumsy - lacking tact or subtlety

Coarse - crude or unrefined in taste, manners, or language

Colorless - dull, uninteresting

Complacent - marked by self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies

Complaintive - prone to complain

Compulsive - of, relating to, caused by, or suggestive of psychological compulsion

Conceited - having or showing an excessively high opinion of oneself

Condemnatory - expressing strong criticism or disapproval

Conformist - following or seeking to enforce prevailing standards or customs; opposing or avoiding unconventional thinking and behavior

Confused - being perplexed or disconcerted

Contemptible - worthy of contempt (i.e., the act of despising)

Conventional - lacking originality or individuality; trite

Cowardly - being, resembling, or befitting a coward (i.e., one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity)

Crafty - adept in the use of subtlety and cunning

Crass - having or indicating such grossness of mind as precludes delicacy and discrimination

Criminal - guilty of crime; disgraceful

Critical - inclined to criticize severely and unfavorably

Crude - marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity

Cruel - disposed to inflict pain or suffering; devoid of humane feelings

Cynical - having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic (e.g., contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives)

Decadent - characterized by or appealing to self-indulgence

Deceitful - deceptive, misleading

Delicate - weak, sickly; fragile

Demanding - requiring much time, effort, or attention; exacting

Dependent - relying on another for support

Desperate - having lost hope; suffering extreme need or anxiety

Destructive - designed or tending to hurt or destroy

Devious - not straightforward; deceptive

Difficult - hard to deal with, manage, or overcome

Dirty - morally unclean or corrupt

Disconcerting - causing embarrassment

Discontented - dissatisfied, malcontent

Discouraging - causing someone to feel less confident or less hopeful

Discourteous - lacking courtesy; rude

Dishonest - characterized by lack of truth, honesty, or trustworthiness; unfair, deceptive

Disloyal - showing an absence of allegiance, devotion, obligation, faith, or support

Disobedient - refusing or neglecting to obey

Disorderly - engaged in conduct offensive to public order

Disorganized - lacking coherence, system, or central guiding agency

Disputatious - inclined to dispute; controversial

Disrespectful - showing a lack of manners or consideration for others

Disruptive - disrupting or tending to disrupt some process, activity, condition, etc.

Dissolute - lacking restraint

Dissonant - marked by dissonance; discordant; incongruous

Distractible - when attention of the mind is easily distracted by small and irrelevant stimuli

Disturbing - causing feelings of worry, concern, or anxiety

Dogmatic - characterized by or given to the expression of opinions very strongly or positively as if they were facts

Domineering - inclined to exercise arbitrary and overbearing control over others

Dull - tedious, uninteresting

Egocentric - self-centered, selfish

Enervated - lacking physical, mental, or moral vigor

Envious - feeling or showing envy (i.e., painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage)

Erratic - characterized by lack of consistency, regularity, or uniformity

Escapist - relating to avoiding an unpleasant or boring life by thinking, reading, etc., about something more exciting or fun, especially something that could not really happen

Excitable - capable of being readily roused into action or a state of excitement or irritability

Expedient - governed by self-interest

Extravagant - lacking in moderation, balance, and restraint

Faithless - not to be relied on; untrustworthy; disloyal

False - not genuine; intentionally untrue

Fanatical - marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion

Fanciful - marked by fancy or unrestrained imagination rather than by reason and experience

Fatalistic - having or showing a belief that the future is determined and cannot be changed

Fawning - seeking or used to seek approval or favor by means of flattery

Fearful - causing or likely to cause fear, fright, or alarm especially because of dangerous quality

Fickle - marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability; given to erratic changeableness

Fiery - easily provoked; irritable

Fixed - firmly set in the mind

Flamboyant - excessively showy

Foolish - showing or marked by a lack of good sense or judgment

Forgetful - inclined to forget what one has learned or to do what one should

Fraudulent - characterized by, based on, or done by fraud; deceitful

Frightening - causing fear

Frivolous - marked by unbecoming levity

Gloomy - lacking in promise or hopefulness; pessimistic

Graceless - lacking a sense of propriety; immoral

Grand - lavish, sumptuous

Greedy - marked by greed; having or showing a selfish desire for wealth and possessions

Grim - ghastly, repellent, or sinister in character

Gullible - easily duped or cheated

Hateful - full of hate; malicious

Haughty - blatantly and disdainfully proud

Hedonistic - devoted to the pursuit of pleasure

Hesitant - slow to act or proceed (as from fear, indecision, or unwillingness)

Hidebound - having an inflexible or ultraconservative character

High-handed - having or showing no regard for the rights, concerns, or feelings of others; arbitrary, overbearing

Hostile - marked by malevolence; having or showing unfriendly feelings

Ignorant - unaware, uninformed

Imitative - imitating something superior; counterfeit

Impatient - not patient; restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition

Impractical - not practical; impracticable; idealistic

Imprudent - lacking discretion, wisdom, or good judgment

Impulsive - prone to act on impulse

Inconsiderate - careless of the rights or feelings of others

Incurious - lacking a normal or usual curiosity; uninterested

Indecisive - not decisive; inconclusive; irresolute

Indulgent - willing to allow excessive leniency, generosity, or consideration

Inert - sluggish

Inhibited - not confident enough to say or do what one wants

Insecure - beset by fear and anxiety; not confident or sure

Insensitive - lacking feeling or tact

Insincere - not sincere; hypocritical

Insulting - giving or intended to give offense

Intolerant - unable or unwilling to endure

Irascible - marked by hot temper and easily provoked anger

Irrational - not using or following good reasoning

Irresponsible - having or showing a lack of concern for the consequences of one's actions

Irritable - easily irritated or annoyed

Lazy - disinclined to activity or exertion; not energetic or vigorous

Libidinous - having or marked by lustful desires; lascivious

Loquacious - given to fluent or excessive talk; garrulous

Malicious - having or showing a desire to cause harm to someone; given to, marked by, or arising from malice

Mannered - having an artificial or stilted character

Mannerless - lacking good manners; impolite

Mawkish - exaggeratedly or childishly emotional

Mealymouthed - not plain and straightforward; devious

Mechanical - without thinking about what you are doing, especially because you do something often

Meddlesome - given to meddling (i.e., to interest oneself in what is not one's concern)

Melancholic - tending to depress the spirits; saddening

Meretricious - superficially significant; pretentious

Messy - extremely unpleasant or trying; slovenly

Miserable - causing extreme discomfort or unhappiness; being likely to discredit or shame

Miserly - marked by grasping meanness and penuriousness

Misguided - led or prompted by wrong or inappropriate motives or ideals

Mistaken - wrong in what you believe, or based on a belief that is wrong

Monstrous - having the qualities of a monster (i.e., a threatening force; of unnatural or extreme wickedness or cruelty)

Moody - subject to moods; temperamental

Morbid - abnormally susceptible to or characterized by gloomy or unwholesome feelings

Muddleheaded - mentally confused; bungling

Naive - deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; credulous

Narcissistic - of, relating to, or characterized by narcissism (i.e., egoism, egocentrism); e.g., extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Narrow - illiberal in views or disposition; prejudiced

Narrow-minded - not willing to accept opinions, beliefs, behaviors, etc. that are unusual or different from one's own; not open-minded

Negativistic - having an attitude of mind marked by skepticism especially about nearly everything affirmed by others

Neglectful - given to neglecting; careless, heedless

Neurotic - behaving strangely or in an anxious way, often because one has a mental illness

Nihilistic - holding a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless

Obnoxious - odiously or disgustingly objectionable; highly offensive

Obsessive - excessive often to an unreasonable degree

Obvious - very noticeable especially for being incorrect or bad

Odd - differing markedly from the usual, ordinary, or accepted

Offhand - done or made offhand (i.e., without premeditation or preparation; extempore)

One-dimensional - lacking depth or complexity; superficial

One-sided - limited to one side; partial

Opinionated - firmly or unduly adhering to one's own opinion or to preconceived notions

Opportunistic - taking advantage of opportunities as they arise (e.g., exploiting opportunities with little regard to principle or consequences)

Oppressed - burdened by abuse of power or authority

Outrageous - violent, unrestrained; going beyond all standards of what is right or decent; deficient in propriety

Overimaginative - excessively imaginative (e.g., devoid of truth)

Paranoid - characterized by suspiciousness, persecutory trends, or megalomania; extremely fearful

Passive - lacking in energy or will; lethargic

Pedantic - narrowly, stodgily, and often ostentatiously learned

Perverse - turned away from what is right or good; corrupt

Petty - marked by or reflective of narrow interests and sympathies; small-minded

Pharisaical - marked by hypocritical censorious self-righteousness

Phlegmatic - having or showing a slow and stolid temperament

Plodding - proceed slowly or tediously

Pompous - having or exhibiting self-importance; arrogant

Possessive - manifesting possession or the desire to own or dominate

Predatory - inclined or intended to injure or exploit others for personal gain or profit

Prejudiced - resulting from or having a prejudice or bias for or especially against

Presumptuous - overstepping due bounds (as of propriety or courtesy)

Pretentious - characterized by pretension (e.g., making usually unjustified or excessive claims)

Prim - stiffly formal and proper; decorous; prudish

Procrastinating - habitually and/or intentionally putting off the doing of something that should be done

Profligate - wildly extravagant; shamelessly immoral

Provocative - serving or tending to provoke, excite, or stimulate

Pugnacious - having a quarrelsome or combative nature; truculent

Puritanical - : of, relating to, or characterized by a rigid morality

Reactionary - relating to, marked by, or favoring reaction; especially: ultraconservative in politics

Reactive - done in immediate response to something especially without thinking or planning

Regimental - of or relating to a regiment; dictatorial

Regretful - full of regret (i.e., sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair)

Repentant - experiencing repentance (i.e., the action or process of repenting especially for misdeeds or moral shortcomings)

Repressed - characterized by restraint

Resentful - full of resentment; inclined to resent (i.e., to feel or express annoyance or ill will at)

Ridiculous - arousing or deserving ridicule; extremely silly or unreasonable; absurd, preposterous

Rigid - inflexibly set in opinion

Ritualistic - stressing the use of ritual forms; adhering to or devoted to ritualism

Rowdy - coarse or boisterous in behavior; rough

Ruined - bankrupt, impoverished; devastated

Sadistic - taking pleasure in the infliction of pain, punishment, or humiliation on others

Sanctimonious - hypocritically pious or devout

Scheming - given to forming schemes; devious

Scornful - full of scorn; contemptuous (i.e., manifesting, feeling, or expressing deep hatred or disapproval)

Secretive - disposed to secrecy; not open or outgoing in speech, activity, or purposes

Sedentary - lazy; not doing or involving a lot of physical activity

Selfish - concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself

Self-indulgent - excessive or unrestrained gratification of one's own appetites, desires, or whims

Shallow - lacking in depth of knowledge, thought, or feeling

Shortsighted - lacking foresight

Shy - sensitively diffident or retiring; reserved

Silly - exhibiting or indicative of a lack of common sense or sound judgment; frivolous

Single-minded - having one driving purpose or resolve; determined, dedicated

Sloppy - slovenly, careless; disagreeably effusive (i.e., marked by the expression of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm)

Slow - lacking in readiness, promptness, or willingness

Sly - lightly mischievous; roguish; furtive; dissembling

Softheaded - having or indicative of a weak, unrealistic, or uncritical mind

Sordid - marked by baseness or grossness; vile; meanly avaricious; covetous

Steely - harsh and threatening in manner or appearance

Stiff - stubborn, unyielding; harsh, severe

Strong-willed - very determined to do something even if other people say it should not be done

Stupid - marked by or resulting from unreasoned thinking or acting; senseless; vexatious, exasperating

Submissive - submitting (i.e., to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; surrender) to others

Superficial - concerned only with the obvious or apparent; shallow

Superstitious - of, relating to, or swayed by superstition (i.e., a notion maintained despite evidence to the contrary)

Suspicious - disposed to suspect; distrustful

Tactless - marked by lack of tact (i.e., a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense)

Tasteless - having no taste; insipid; dull

Tense - feeling or showing nervous tension

Thievish - given to stealing

Thoughtless - lacking concern for others; inconsiderate; reckless

Timid - lacking in courage or self-confidence

Treacherous - likely to betray trust; unreliable

Trendy - marked by ephemeral, superficial, or faddish appeal or taste

Troublesome - difficult, burdensome; giving trouble or anxiety; vexatious

Unappreciative - not giving recognition or thanks for something

Uncaring - lacking proper sympathy, concern, or interest

Uncharitable - lacking in charity; severe in judging; harsh

Unconvincing - not convincing; implausible

Uncooperative - marked by an unwillingness or inability to work with others

Uncreative - lacking originality of thought; not productive of new ideas

Uncritical - showing lack or improper use of critical standards or procedures

Unctuous - having, revealing, or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality

Undisciplined - lacking in discipline or self-control

Unfriendly - not friendly (e.g., hostile, unsympathetic; inhospitable, unfavorable)

Ungrateful - showing no gratitude; making a poor return

Unhealthy - of a harmful nature; morally contaminated

Unimaginative - having or showing a lack of imagination or originality

Unimpressive - not attracting or deserving particular attention, admiration, or interest

Unlovable - incapable of inspiring love or admiration; not having attractive or appealing qualities

Unpolished - not polished (i.e., characterized by a high degree of development, finish, or refinement)

Unprincipled - lacking moral principles; unscrupulous

Unrealistic - not realistic; inappropriate to reality or fact

Unreflective - unthinking, heedless

Unreliable - undependable, untrustworthy

Unrestrained - immoderate, uncontrolled

Unstable - wavering in purpose or intent; vacillating; characterized by lack of emotional control

Vacuous - marked by lack of ideas or intelligence; inane

Vague - not thinking or expressing one's thoughts clearly or precisely; vacant

Venal - originating in, characterized by, or associated with corrupt bribery

Venomous - spiteful, malevolent

Vindictive - intended to cause anguish or hurt; spiteful; vengeful

Vulnerable - open to attack or damage; assailable

Weak - not firmly decided; not factually grounded or logically presented; ineffective, impotent

Weak-willed - not having the determination that is needed to continue with a difficult course of action

Willful - obstinately and often perversely self-willed

Wishful - according with wishes rather than reality

Zany - strange, surprising, or uncontrolled in a humorous way

Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[scretladyspider]

I want to talk about the definition of demisexuality and why I think in an allocentric world it leads to misunderstandings like this.

Quoted by Cluffalo tweet is about demisexuality. Tweet reads: “Can we stop making everything into an “orientation"?This is normal, healthy, female sexualityWanting to immediately sleep with someone because they're hot is not the default for women.”

Okay, so… demisexuality is “not experiencing sexual attraction unless a close bond is formed”. It was invented over a few years of discussions on AVEN forums about a sort of in-between ace experience, between asexual and allosexual. Graysexual came about around the same time.

The most common criticisms of demisexuality include that it was invented for a role play, that it’s “just normal”, that it’s “just how women are”, or that its especially puritan, assigning superiority to not liking or not having casual sex. And while all of these are worth a deep dive… I want to talk about how we define demisexuality, and why I think it’s both helpful but also leaves some pretty big holes in understanding that leads to posts like that original tweet.

When you’re explaining anything under the asexual spectrum, you generally have to assume that they’ve never heard of asexuality. It doesn’t matter if they are or aren’t ace and don’t know it when we’re told our whole lives that asexuality isn’t a possibility. As much as I don’t want to center the allosexual experience when discussing demisexuality (or anything ace), and I really, really don’t, it ends up being the inevitable reference point when talking about anything ace.

Actually, really understanding the definition of demisexuality requires understanding and accepting asexuality, the asexual spectrum, action not necessarily equating with attraction, arousal VS attraction, libido, and unpacking what we’re taught sexuality is or could be. Demisexuality requires all kinds of knowledge about asexuality to even begin to understand that there IS a difference between waiting to have sex with your partner and not experiencing any sexual attraction at all, to anyone, ever, until and unless a close bond forms, IF then.

The way the “no sexual attraction until a close bond is formed” definition of demisexuality is set up currently sounds like it’s describing building trust with someone before engaging in sex from an allosexual perspective.

In my experience, people can more easily accept that some people don’t experience sexual attraction than they can that some people might experience it, maybe, under select circumstances. That takes more unpacking allonormativity and amatanormativity.

But if you know about and understand asexuality, it’s not difficult to go from the “little to no sexual attraction” that we usually think of as “no sexual attraction” when we talk about asexuality to understanding where and how the “little to” specifically comes into that.

However! If you know what asexuality is, then the definition of demisexuality as we currently write it, as in the OP’s post, is perfectly adequate and can even be liberating, especially if you’ve been trying to figure out why you usually but don’t *always fit into “no sexual attraction”.

I’m tired of explaining over and over the same thing, trying to find new ways to do that. If I can be vulnerable a second, a lot of the time it feels pointless, like, “why am I even doing this?”

And I’m sure I’m not the only person talking about asexuality that feels that way.

Also a lot of the “demisexuality is just being a woman” narrative typically overlaps with transphobia, and folks who say this tend to attribute who they’re referring to as “just being a woman” to whiteness, which again circles everything back to purity culture.

I haven’t yet found a way to explain demisexuality without basically writing a book. Tbh I don’t know that there is a way to briefly and adequately explain demisexuality, as it rests on understanding asexuality, which I know from experience I can’t just assume is the audience. And I don’t really have any solutions or answers to this. I don’t have a new and quick demisexuality definition ready to go. As is, if you understand asexuality, it’s fine, but if you don’t, it’s like… yeah, I understand why people get confused. I used to too. Demisexuality is a real thing. But I am frustrated and tired by how it takes a PowerPoint or dissertation to explain— not just for myself, but any demisexual, because there’s so much around it you have to explain first.

So… those are just some thoughts. I don’t have a solution? I’ve been just thinking about all this for… a long time actually. I wish more people knew about and understood asexuality. it would help. Not just with this, but, this would be something it helped with.

But, yeah! Those were thoughts. I don’t know how to end this thread. Uhm. Okay bye thanks for reading have a nice day

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[proustiansleep]

"For its part, continental philosophy is suspicious and dismissive of, and even hostile to, computation as a figure of power, reductive thought, and instrumental rationality. It devotes considerable time to the often obscure, prosy criticism of all that it imagines computation to be and do. As a rule, both spoken and unspoken, it valorizes the incomputable over the computable, the ineffable over the effable, the analog over the digital, the poetic over the explanatory, and so on.

Our approach is also qualitative and speculative, but instead of seeing philosophy as a form of resistance to computation, we see computation as a challenge to thought itself. Computation is not that which obscures our view of the real but that which has, over the past century, been the primary enabler of confrontations with the real. These confrontations are sometimes startling and even disturbing but always precious. This makes us neither optimists nor pessimists, but rather deeply curious and committed to building and rebuilding from first principles rather than commentary on passing epiphenomena.

Our philosophical standpoint is allocentric more than egocentric, “Copernican” more than phenomenological. The presumption is that we will, as always, learn more about ourselves by getting outside our own heads and perspectives, almost always through technological mediation, than we will by private rumination on the experience of interiority or by mistaking culture for history. That said, even from an outside perspective looking back on ourselves, we (“humans”) are not necessarily the most important thing for philosophy to examine. The vistas are open."

—Benjamin Bratton

[yukiberenyi]

But what if I'm acespec OP?

[loversfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed atlas shephard walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who he is ? they kind of look like michael cimino and i could be wrong but i think that they might be twenty-five years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last three years. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of chandler bing from friends. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at heights community center as an event coordinator. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the robin of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty circumspect at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty allocentric to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that two bedroom apartment beside me over in mango bay. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you! 

STATS:

full name :       atlas orion shephard nickname(s) :       n / a birthplace :       ranchos palos verdes, california date of birth :       august 30, 1999 parentage :       david shephard ii & giulia shephard sibling(s) :      marco shephard-yang (36), sadie shephard (32), david shephard iii (29), scout shephard (27) relationship status :       single gender identity :       cis man ( he/him ) sexual orientation :       heterosexual faceclaim :  michael cimino

BACKGROUND: (tw: adoption, mentions of neglect)

alejandro maldonado is six months old when the state of california deems his parents unfit to take care of their son. the social worker in charge of his case knows a family looking to add a member to their family. a baby, no less.

so, alejandro luis maldonado guzman becomes little atlas orion shephard ( the shephards feel as though they're honoring his birth family by keeping his first initial a ).

however, joining a family with two other kids is no easy feat -- especially when the parents have no intention of actually caring for their children.

the shephards are well off business people, which is how they get away with being such absent parents. they live in a big house, they take elaborate christmas cards, and they attend a school event here and there when it's convenient for them.

it wasn't all bad, though. as they grew up, sadie would read her assigned chapter books to him and clark would allow him to scribble on a sheet of paper next to him while he was making his own sketch.

there were a few nannies in the picture, but that all went away when the shephards decided the oldest (sadie and marco, now that he'd joined the family) were old enough to start taking care of the rest of them.

the shephards were trying to craft the perfect kid, which means they all got wildly different extra curriculars assigned to them. atlas had originally gotten soccer, but after his first game where he cried because he got hit with a ball, his dad was too embarrassed to take him back. they enrolled him in piano lessons shortly after ( because at least then he could entertain their friends ).

he loved all of his siblings, but in a young atlas' eyes, marco and sadie were not his siblings. all of his earliest memories include marco playing outside with him and sadie helping him with his homework. they were very much surrogate parents, while clark and scout were actually his siblings. it was every day the oldest two were mediating a fight between any combination of the youngest three.

being the youngest of five made it very hard to find himself outside of the shadow of the other four. it was a lot to live up to. who was atlas shephard ?

atlas, to put it nicely, had a very needy personality. he needed a lot of attention and reassurance, and he was not getting that from his parents. he'd get it from his siblings when they had it to give, but sometimes they just didn't.

living in the shadow of his siblings just made him awkward. he mumbles, he second guesses himself, he frequently puts his foot in his mouth… if he couldn’t even navigate his household, how was he going to navigate the world?

marco and sadie did the best they could, but atlas could just never understand why the parents who went through all the trouble of adopting him couldn't just spend a day with him. insecurity grew within him, and he was constantly changing his personality to see what would get him the most attention. he'd tried succeeding academically like sadie, rebelling ( in the best way atlas could ) like clark, and talking their ear off like scout. at the end of the day, his parents were simply not interested in it. and, even if they were, they had FIVE CHILDREN -- they had so many people to give attention to.

he wonders why the people who give birth to him hadn't been interested in working to keep him, why the people who supposedly wanted him didn't want him.

he's thirteen years old when marco moves away, and it shakes him a bit. he feels himself shrink without the man who helped shape who he was. beginning middle school around the same time was kind of a nightmare for atlas.

still, it's around that time he finds a little bit of himself. he realizes people care less about you when you make them laugh. he wasn't exactly gunning for class clown or anything, but the jokes and sarcasm come out easily enough when you hate yourself don't take yourself too seriously.

for the most part, he coasts through school. gets decent grades ( and has access to good tutors when he doesn't ), continues to play the piano ( but has no interest in composing his own music ), and makes enough jokes to distract outsiders from the insanity that is his family.

when it’s time for college, he asks himself: what is the best form of revenge for a family who only cares about appearances? actually caring for those with less. he’d never understood his parents obsession with raising money to LOOK GOOD and not actually caring about those who needed the help.

he goes to school for business, just to buy himself time. worse comes to worse, he starts his own business to help others.

he's nineteen when sadie leaves for florida, and it's yet another hit to his core. he still lives at home and is commuting to school, so he notices as each sibling leaves the nest. well, everyone but him.

and, even as one of the last to leave the shephard house, it still isn't enough to bring him much attention. there's small talk with his parents over coffee in the morning, but that's really the extent of it. they pay for his education, and he goes. it's transactional for all of them.

once he graduates, he makes his way to palmview ( definitely following sadie ). during his tour of the town, he makes a point to stop by the community center and sees they need an event coordinator. it seems like the perfect gig, and although he’s young, it doesn’t seem like many were jumping at the chance for the job.

he’s three years into the job, and he’s loved getting to meet the people in his town– kids and adults alike. he doesn’t often participate in his events, but he’s always there to see how others are enjoying them ( and to make sure everything runs smoothly ).

PERSONALITY:

as stated above, he’s quite awkward !!! either doesn’t think before he speaks or thinks too hard before he speaks … no in between

lowkey loves attention ( was obvs deprived of it ) but he’ll never admit thattttttt

can be a bit of an emo boy when the topic of family is brought up -- he sees the good in all of his siblings and loves them each for who they are, but that didn't make their situation any less difficult.

has a love / hate relationship with the winter months … has fond memories of the holidays growing up, but also knows they were jus for show … but also loves how busy the holiday season is !!!

has kind of settled into the “normal guy” role … He’s Just A Guy

very caring, though… has definitely lost a lot of money replacing jackets / hoodies he’s just handing out to people ….. quite literally giving the jacket off his back …..

he’s not a confident speaker in general … not the thoughts he shares … not the volume he speaks at … is always mumbling your chara will have to tell him to SPEAK UP !!!

[idlehearts]

✧ ⸻  hey, is that ALEXANDER WARREN i saw going for a walk in SIERRA SPRING? a FORTY-TWO year old AUTHOR from HERMOSA BEACH, CA.  HE identifies as CIS MAN and DEMISEXUAL. they seem RELIABLE and STUBBORN, always reminding me of monthly game night dinners. they’re most frequently seen at WILDFLOWER RIDGE RESERVE going on about MUSICAL THEATRE/CAMPING and that’s okay because it’s been their thing for ON-AND-OFF, 28 YEARS. you’re going to love them!

BASICS

full name: jordan alexander warren

nickname: alex

age/date of birth: 42 / may 8th, 1983

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

hometown: hermosa beach, california

current location: coyote valley, ca

living arrangements: a 4 bedroom family home in sierra spring

time in town: on-and-off, 28 years

sexual orientation: demisexual

occupation: author, former fbi agent

PERSONALITY

labels: the phoenix, the benefactor, the mediator

positive traits: gentle , reliable , caring , trustworthy , allocentric , dutiful

negative traits: obstinate , reticent , stubborn , secretive , deceitful

hobbies: cooking, reading, musical theatre, camping, board games, sports, volunteering

languages spoken: english, french

instruments played: guitar, piano

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

APPEARANCE

height: 6'

distinguished characteristics: multiple scars throughout his body; a blink and you'll miss it type of situation. some are from childhood and barely noticeable if you look closely whilst the most prominent ones are around 4 years old, situated in his ribs. there is no itemized list yet, but it is something he is acutely aware of.

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his mom’s passing and his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ on his right forearm. ( ref )

piercings: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed

RELATIONSHIPS

parents: robert warren (whereabouts unknown), alycia reynolds (deceased)

sibling(s): a younger sibling, possible half siblings

pet(s): a four year old labradoodle named pollux

children: two foster children, a twelve year old named jack and a six year old named mia

BULLET POINTS

tw: drug use, abuse, death mention

he was born and raised in hermosa beach in a broken home filled with anger, pain and addiction. the eldest of two, he vowed the moment his younger sibling was born to do everything in his will to protect his sibling and his mother from the darkness of the world and most importantly, his father. when robert warren walked out of their lives when alex was 14 after years of torment and the family moved to coyote valley, alycia's hometown, alexander truly believed life was finally letting them become the family he so desperately wanted.

he spent the upcoming years working tirelessly to get through high school and taking care of his family as best as he could until the time to think about university arrived. with the encouragement of his family (and promises to work even harder to one day bring them along with him) alexander moved to new york city upon graduation after being accepted into nyu in their criminal justice department with a scholarship. alexander worked tirelessly for months, working two to three jobs to make arrangements for his family to move to new york with him only to lose his mother a year and ten months after he moved to new york due to an overdose. filled with grief and a sense of responsibility he took care of his younger sibling.

upon graduation from university alexander moved to virginia as he started the quantico program to become a federal agent. for two years he lived between virgina, ny and california until he was ultimately enlisted in the fbi and assigned permanently to new york. for three years he dedicated himself entirely to a job he grew to abhor and resent until the day he suffered an accident on the job that nearly took his life. nearly dying changed his perspective on life and although he knew he had a promising career as a federal agent, alexander quit.

taking his time as he tried to figure out his next step alexander took up on a lost love of his: creative writing. he began writing about cases he had worked on, cases he'd heard of and ultimately wrote a book based off a fictional criminal case he had made up. a close friend of his read the book and encouraged him to publish it and after months and months of working odd jobs in new york to get by and editing in his spare time, he self published his first novel at age 25 and seven months. it became a moderate success (a rare occurrence for a self-publishing book) and ended up creating a publishing company with the friend who encouraged him to publish his book. his second novel came a little less than a year later, the first of the publishing company and proved a slightly bigger success than the first one.

with a new life purpose alexander decided to move back to coyote valley at age 26, seeking to spend time with his family and to settle down, finding inspiration upon his arrival to write at the very least three new books in a span of a year, choosing to map them out for a twice a year release while using the remaining time to write and enjoy at last having some time for himself after years of feeling like he was running out of time.

then, she came. athalia kotzur sideris came back to his life to turn it upside down. two ships in a passing in the night on their teen years, the two found a way to find eachother now as mature young adults and began a love story for the ages. alexander felt like he had everything he had ever wanted in life and when athalia agreed on marrying him when he proposed, he knew that was the happiest day of his existence. everything came crumbling down however (as if often does) when, after two years of engagement, the couple broke off their engagement and the relationship altogether when they discovered the life they had figure out for themselves simply didn't match and the two (four, with their two dogs pollux and castor and were too separated from eachother) parted ways.

he used his newlyfound heartache to write more and with 7 published novels under his belt, one on the way more personal than the rest and a flourishing publishing company, alexander decided it was time to search for that missing piece in the puzzle he had yearned for since he was a child: a family. he took every course and class he could find for months on end and ultimately registered to become a foster parent. jack and mia arrived to alexander's life to put it upside down. it wasn't easy at the beginning; learning new rules that came with becoming a parent of two children with a sensitive background such as his made it hard to connect with them at first but with enough patience and love, the four of them became the family all of them had needed all their lives. now, with a year passed since they first found eachtoehr, alexander is seeking to formally adopt them as his own.

[fazedlight]

Zor-El turned to Kara again, his shock still apparent. “On Argo, they reproduce… like the animals? Like Daxamites?!”

I play this for a bit of humor in Even Though You're Kryptonian, and I hint at it in passing in my Bouquet ficlet, but I think something ends up underexplored in Kara and Lena's relationship is the fact that...

Her upbringing around sex is completely different.

I'm guessing, in a kryptonian upbringing, sex would certainly be discussed - a scientific approach, "this is how the few animals we have reproduce". It wasn't something that was ever on her radar as something she would ever do. It was a clinical fact. Utterly unremarkable in their society. We have technology to fix this.

(And when kryptonians get a bit older, of course, the whispers. Can you believe Daxamites do that for fun?)

This results in a headcanon for me that her experience of love and connection is less rooted in sex. While my headcanon is still that they have a very passionate and active sex life (where they're very interested in getting each other off 👀), I don't think sex is assumed for her in the way that an allocentric planet like ours assumes. (And I think, if more ace interpretations of her vibe with folks, that's 100% valid as well.)

This might be a bit of an odd interpretation on intimacy, so I will leave that there for people to take or leave. In a giant ocean of fandom with so many different interpretations, it's just another drop of thought.

[compneuropapers]

Interesting Papers for Week 44, 2024

The role of the human hippocampus in decision-making under uncertainty. Attaallah, B., Petitet, P., Zambellas, R., Toniolo, S., Maio, M. R., Ganse-Dumrath, A., … Husain, M. (2024). Nature Human Behaviour, 8(7), 1366–1382.

Modeling hippocampal spatial cells in rodents navigating in 3D environments. Aziz, A., Patil, B. K., Lakshmikanth, K., Sreeharsha, P. S. S., Mukhopadhyay, A., & Chakravarthy, V. S. (2024). Scientific Reports, 14, 16714.

Anterior cingulate cortex provides the neural substrates for feedback-driven iteration of decision and value representation. Chen, W., Liang, J., Wu, Q., & Han, Y. (2024). Nature Communications, 15, 6020.

Firing rate adaptation affords place cell theta sweeps, phase precession, and procession. Chu, T., Ji, Z., Zuo, J., Mi, Y., Zhang, W., Huang, T., … Wu, S. (2024). eLife, 12, e87055.4.

Non-Hebbian plasticity transforms transient experiences into lasting memories. Faress, I., Khalil, V., Hou, W.-H., Moreno, A., Andersen, N., Fonseca, R., … Nabavi, S. (2024). eLife, 12, e91421.3.

Gaze-centered gating, reactivation, and reevaluation of economic value in orbitofrontal cortex. Ferro, D., Cash-Padgett, T., Wang, M. Z., Hayden, B. Y., & Moreno-Bote, R. (2024). Nature Communications, 15, 6163.

Modulation of alpha oscillations by attention is predicted by hemispheric asymmetry of subcortical regions. Ghafari, T., Mazzetti, C., Garner, K., Gutteling, T., & Jensen, O. (2024). eLife, 12, e91650.3.

Contributions of cortical neuron firing patterns, synaptic connectivity, and plasticity to task performance. Insanally, M. N., Albanna, B. F., Toth, J., DePasquale, B., Fadaei, S. S., Gupta, T., … Froemke, R. C. (2024). Nature Communications, 15, 6023.

Consequences of eye movements for spatial selectivity. Intoy, J., Li, Y. H., Bowers, N. R., Victor, J. D., Poletti, M., & Rucci, M. (2024). Current Biology, 34(14), 3265-3272.e4.

Prediction error determines how memories are organized in the brain. Kennedy, N. G., Lee, J. C., Killcross, S., Westbrook, R. F., & Holmes, N. M. (2024). eLife, 13, e95849.3.

Neural Representation of Valenced and Generic Probability and Uncertainty. Kim, J.-C., Hellrung, L., Grueschow, M., Nebe, S., Nagy, Z., & Tobler, P. N. (2024). Journal of Neuroscience, 44(30), e0195242024.

Selective consolidation of learning and memory via recall-gated plasticity. Lindsey, J. W., & Litwin-Kumar, A. (2024). eLife, 12, e90793.3.

A synergistic workspace for human consciousness revealed by Integrated Information Decomposition. Luppi, A. I., Mediano, P. A., Rosas, F. E., Allanson, J., Pickard, J., Carhart-Harris, R. L., … Stamatakis, E. A. (2024). eLife, 12, e88173.4.

Memorability shapes perceived time (and vice versa). Ma, A. C., Cameron, A. D., & Wiener, M. (2024). Nature Human Behaviour, 8(7), 1296–1308.

Mixed Representations of Sound and Action in the Auditory Midbrain. Quass, G. L., Rogalla, M. M., Ford, A. N., & Apostolides, P. F. (2024). Journal of Neuroscience, 44(30), e1831232024.

Neural activity ramps in frontal cortex signal extended motivation during learning. Regalado, J. M., Corredera Asensio, A., Haunold, T., Toader, A. C., Li, Y. R., Neal, L. A., & Rajasethupathy, P. (2024). eLife, 13, e93983.3.

Using synchronized brain rhythms to bias memory-guided decisions. Stout, J. J., George, A. E., Kim, S., Hallock, H. L., & Griffin, A. L. (2024). eLife, 12, e92033.3.

Cortical plasticity is associated with blood–brain barrier modulation. Swissa, E., Monsonego, U., Yang, L. T., Schori, L., Kamintsky, L., Mirloo, S., … Friedman, A. (2024). eLife, 12, e89611.4.

Structural and sequential regularities modulate phrase-rate neural tracking. Zhao, J., Martin, A. E., & Coopmans, C. W. (2024). Scientific Reports, 14, 16603.

An allocentric human odometer for perceiving distances on the ground plane. Zhou, L., Wei, W., Ooi, T. L., & He, Z. J. (2024). eLife, 12, e88095.3.

[bewitchcdd]

★  ‧₊˚  ⋆ …  now  playing:  work song  by  hozier  —  oh  ,  that  ?   might  be  alexander warren  ,  an  thirty-five  year  old  author  who’s  been  hanging  around  wicklow  ridge  for  twenty-three years  ,  just  long  enough  to  stir  up  some  trouble  if  you  ask  me.  they’re  a  regular  at  ridgeview lake  ,  always  going  on  about  “if there was anyone to ever get through life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right”  like  it’s  gospel.  around  town  ,  folks  say  they’re  reliable  &  caring  —  but  when  they  think  no  one’s  listening  ?  it’s  more  like  stubborn  &  secretive .  are  the  rumors  true  ?  maybe  not  …  but  it  sure  makes  life  around  here  a  little  more  interesting . 

BASICS

full name: noah alexander warren

nickname: alex, xander

age/date of birth: 35 / may 8th, 1990

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

hometown: hermosa beach, california

current location: cornelia st, new york

sexual orientation: demisexual

occupation: author, former fbi agent

PERSONALITY

labels: the phoenix, the benefactor, the mediator

positive traits: gentle , reliable , caring , trustworthy , allocentric , dutiful

negative traits: obstinate , reticent , stubborn , secretive , deceitful

fears: leaving the world worst than he entered it, hurting people.

hobbies: cooking, reading, musical theatre, camping, sports, volunteering

languages spoken: english, spanish, french, italian, russian

instruments played: guitar, piano

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

APPEARANCE

height: 6'1

distinguished characteristics: multiple scars throughout his body; a blink and you'll miss it type of situation. some are from childhood and barely noticeable if you look closely whilst the most prominent ones are around 4 years old, situated in his ribs. there is no itemized list yet, but it is something he is acutely aware of.

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ on his right forearm. ( ref )

piercings: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed

RELATIONSHIPS

parents: robert warren ( whereabouts unknown ), alycia warren ( nee: reynolds, retired prima ballerina )

sibling(s): one younger sibling ( whereabouts unknown )

pet(s): a four year old labradoodle named pollux

marital status: single

BULLET POINTS

tw: drug use, abuse mention

FULL BIO COMING SOON

had a normal childhood (as normal as one can be with a parent who half of the time isn't there and whenever he is around, leaves you wishing he wasn't) up until he turned 6 and after losing his job his father began dealing drugs which led to him consuming them and ultimately, dragging his mom down the same path. for a while things 'worked' fine, they worked a system that allowed them to survive. however, as years went by their problem got out of hand and bad enough that by the time alex was 12 it caused them to lose their home and even alex's younger sibling to child services. his father dipped after that, to never be seen again.

the two remaining members of the family then moved to wicklow ridge, alycias hometown. once a prima ballerina for the new york ballet company who had given it all up for love and her dream of becoming a mother who now had to support her child on her own, she became a ballet teacher for the remaining years.

after graduating high school, alex decided he wanted to study criminal justice and moved to new york after getting into john jay school of criminal justice where he worked multiple jobs in a span of 4 years to be able to pay for tuition and his living expenses. after getting his degree he moved to virginia to start his training for the fbi where he remained for two years, working half times, attending the academy and getting his phd in criminal justice

he worked himself thin to make it into the fbi but once inside, all his dreams of working as an agent fell flat. alex only worked as an agent for 2 years before getting into a work-related accident that nearly killed him and made him rethink his entire life and his involvement with the bureau. after two deeply unhappy year he resigned.

he remained in new york for a couple years where he used his newly-found free time to exercise an old hobby of his: creative writing. with the help of a friend he realized he had an actual knack for writing and ultimately began writing a thriler novel loosely based off of a few cases he had worked on. months of arduous work resulted in his first book publishing about a year and a half after resigning the fbi and it became a big success within the first six months of it's publication.

with a new audience under his belt, alexander moved back to wicklow ridge at age 27 to be closer to his mother and family where he bought his dream home and began writing a new novel while going on courses to her his mba in english literature. by age 33, the now renowned author had published 2 more books with the same amount of success as his first novel that changed his life and is currently working on a fourth novel while getting offers to buy the rights for his first novel for a film.

[saccharinepet]

Walking through the picturesque streets of Cardinal Hill, you find NAIJA DAVIS, the THIRTY7 year old pharmacist originally from Cardinal Hill, WA. Living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they’re allocentric and assertive, but what you might not know is that they are a HUMAN, and that they’re hiding something… ―

✶ 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 ✶ 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✶ 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 ✶ 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ✶

✶ 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐 ;

full name: Naija Marie Davis Agbani nickname: Nai birthdate: January 5th zodiac sign: Capricorn place of birth: Cardinal Hill, WA ethnicity: African American/Afro Brazilian gender: cis female pronouns: She/Her sexual orientation: Bisexual occupation: Pharmacist

✶ ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ;

Born and raised in Cardinal - moved away at the age of 28 up until the beginning of December (2 weeks ago)

Has an unhealthy obsession with tea to the point that it's become a hobby

Has a new companion, a baby tuxedo kitten named Alma (meaning soul)

A lover of all things scary/horror

Extreme sport fanatic. While her focus is mainly on boxing, Naija does love going hiking, snowboarding, parasailing, mountain climbing, etc.

When she's not at work, Naija can be found at the local boxing gym training new members

✶ 𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑝ℎ𝑦 ;

tw: domestic abuse, child abuse, gore, child death, depression alluding

Only child to Jeffrey and Viola Agbani, Naija had a pretty normal start to life. She was smart and observant by nature with a will to accomplish great things in her life. From a very early age, she knew that she wanted to work in medicine like her mother. Not a nurse because she simply could not handle the thought of always being surrounded by sick people and death, but she enjoyed learning about medications and its plentiful effects on the human body. 

For most of early life Naija's family seemed like the perfect little trio. A loving mother who doted on her at all times and taught her to be the independent and strong woman that she is today. Her father, being a man of God who ensured his family feared the Lord as much as he did, wasn't afraid to use the great book against their sinful behaviors. 

The yelling had become such a normal part of her life that Naija at first didn't intervene. She didn't understand why her father was always yelling at her mother for the smallest of things, but knew that he was a man of God and his reasoning perhaps were justified. It wasn't until she was fourteen years old when she first witnessed the physical pain her mother endured at her father's hands. 

Naija had been present one night her father struck, and in a wave of shock and confusion she ran to shield her mother from the blow, only to be struck and thrown to the side with minimal efforts. There was nothing that she could have done, and so she covered her eyes and ears and waited for it all to come to an end. 

Her mother consoled her after, as if Naija had been the one repeatedly harmed. That's when Viola explained it all to Naija. The years of pain that her loving father had put her mother through after endless nights of drinking, and the reason for her staying despite it all. Naija had wanted them to leave. To pack their stuff and go stay with other family members, but her mother wouldn't budge claiming that her father wasn’t a bad man and just needed help. 

Determined to put an end to her father's reign of terror, Naija sought help. She didn't tell anyone about what happened behind her house doors, but found a family friend who helped her get stronger. He taught her how to fight in a ring, and before she knew it Naija had become a force to be reckoned with. 

Somewhere along the way, she met a boy who claimed her heart and never let it go. Sebastian quickly became her favorite person. The two began to date, and even though his family didn't particularly like her, Naija held onto him, promising to never let go. 

It wasn't until her first year of college, when she began to see more bruises showing up on her mother again. The last few years had been good, Viola promised her, but out of nowhere her father had begun drinking again. His outburst became more violent and his abuse only grew. 

During one of Naija's home visits after moving into college, her father punched Viola in front of her for the first time since she was young, and all of the anger she had been saving poured out of her. Naija attacked Jeffrey violently until blood gushed out of his features. That night Naija gave him the option of leaving and never coming near her and her mother again, or calling the police and ruining his precious reputation forever. That was the last time she ever saw her father.

It went without saying that her next step in life was marrying Sebastian. With so much negative energy around their relationship coming from his family, and the bad memories of her own life rooted into every corner of Cardinal Hill, the two decided it would be best to move elsewhere to start their new life.

Mere months after moving to Minnesota, they found out they'd be having their first child. Naija had never thought about kids before, and while she expected to have some of their own, the news caught her off guard. She had fights lined up for months in advance that she would go to cancel in preparation for the growing life inside of her. 

After the initial shock dissipated, Naija was overjoyed to welcome her daughter - Maija - into the world. Naija and Bash went out of their way to ensure everything they could ever need was at their disposal, and that their child wanted for nothing. 

A year in, they received heart breaking news that would lead to their daughter's early demise at the age of five. Despite the diagnosis, Naija saw no decline in their daughter's health over the years and so she told herself it was all a misdiagnosis. That the doctors didn't know what they were talking about because how could her beautifully healthy daughter be dying?

To say that day was the worst day of her life was an understatement. Naija still didn’t understand how her healthy baby could be ripped from her arms so effortlessly by this cruel world. Trying to navigate that darkness built within her, and her marriage felt almost impossible. Sebastian grew distant and later asked for a divorce, which she acceded to only because she hoped it was just the emotion talking. She was too in her head to realize how serious he was until he was gone, and then acceptance became impossible. 

It took only a matter of months for the divorce papers to arrive, but Naija wasn’t someone who gave up so easily. She kept hold of them in the hopes that Sebastian would return but when he didn’t she sought him out. Moving back to Cardinal Hill hadn’t been in her plans, but she would follow where her heart went. If he truly wanted the divorce still then she’d sign the papers, but if there was even an inch of him that wished to heal from this torture they were both going through together then she’d be strong and hold on for both of them.

✶ 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑦𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑐𝑠 ;

platonic ― naija was born and raised in cardinal hill so she'd have a plethora of friends and acquaintances around. this is including but not limited to confidant, best friend/ride of die, coworkers, volunteering friends, brunch buddies, gym connects, drinking buddies, and every day people that surround her. //

familiar ― has a very large family still in town so perhaps some cousins would be fun, or other people who have grown beyond friends and she considers family.

romantic ― this would be quite limited/new as she's soon to be divorced but old/new crushes, will they won't they, unrequited attractions, flirtationships etc.

antagonistic ― while she does her best to ignore those she doesn't care about, naija has always had a sharp and deadly tongue that only seemed to compliment her swift hands. there's definitely those people who get under her skin and vice versa.

[arhaaong]

ARHAA OONG. thirty7. AUTHOR. california native who moved to windsor bay 24 years ago. THE SINGLE (ADOPTIVE) FATHER OF TWO. the OLDEST and only surviving of the OONG family. a TAURUS through and through; every bit as CARING and RELIABLE as OBSTINATE and SECRETIVE. henry golding fc.

BASICS

full name: jordan arhaa warren ong

nickname: just arhaa

age/date of birth: 37 / may 8th, 1987

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

hometown: hermosa beach, california

current location: windsor bay, or

housing: mountainside

time in town: on-and-off, 24 years

sexual orientation: demisexual

occupation: author

PERSONALITY

labels: the phoenix, the benefactor, the mediator

positive traits: gentle , reliable , caring , trustworthy , allocentric , dutiful

negative traits: obstinate , reticent , stubborn , secretive , deceitful

hobbies: cooking, reading, musical theatre, camping, sports, volunteering

languages spoken: english, malay, french

instruments played: guitar, piano

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

APPEARANCE

height: 6'1

distinguished characteristics: multiple scars throughout his body; a blink and you’ll miss it type of situation. some are from childhood and barely noticeable if you look closely whilst the most prominent ones are around 4 years old, situated in his ribs. there is no itemized list yet, but it is something he is acutely aware of.

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his mom’s passing and his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ on his right forearm. ( ref )

piercings: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed

RELATIONSHIPS

parents: robert warren (whereabouts unknown), lili ong (deceased)

sibling(s): adam warren (deceased) (there may be half siblings, who knows?)

children: two adoptive children, a six year old called mia and jack, who is twelve

pet(s): a seven year old golden retriever named pollux

other family members: tbd

BIOGRAPHY

tw: death, car accident, substance abuse

It’s easy falling in love with the sun when all you know is darkness. That much Robert Warren learned when he first met Lili Oong, a ballet dancer who was in California as the new ballerina for Los Angeles Ballet who had moved recently from a little town called Windsor Bay, Oregon. Her warmth eclipsed the harrowing black hole in his chest the moment he laid eyes on her and so, he asked her out on a date that same night. 3 months later, Lili was moving in with him after a shotgun wedding and a positive pregnancy test on her hand, giving up her dreams of becoming a worldly-known dancer for a bigger dream of hers: becoming a mother.

The first few months were a dream; with Robert landing a promotion and Lili having an easy enough pregnancy, using all her newlyfound free time to enrich herself with tools to help her become the mother she never had. Soon, however, their luck changed and their future was forever shifted.

Robert, savvy in his ways but with darkness lurking deep within his soul, was offered a new business venture when an old friend of his opened his mind to the world of the fabrication of off-the-shelve opioids. Knowing soon he'd have a child to take care of and money would stretch thinner than it already was, he agreed without telling his wife and mother-to-be, ultimately becoming a consumer as well as a maker and a seller. The fairytale began to crack, the man who had once been charming and loving became cold, distant and began showing a violent and angry nature that had been unknown to Lili who by now was due to give birth at any day.

Arhaa was born in Hermosa Beach, California into an already broken household with a negligent, abusive, narcissistic father and a loving and caring but mentally exhausted mother who had sadly been drawn to the world of opioids addiction by her very own husband (who made a living out of not only dealing but fabricating said drugs) only a few weeks after giving birth to her second son; Adam. Although the family lead a chaotic and rather dramatic life, the two siblings became inseparable from the very first day Arhaa held his little brother in his arms and vowed to protect him. Despite the trials and tribulations that came with their upbringing, the two siblings had quite a normal childhood. With their father disappearing every other day the remaining three members of the family did their best with what they were handed; providing eachother the love and support they needed to get by with their mother working tirelessly to provide for her family while Arhaa did his best to take care of his little brother, only a few years his junior. Their lives changed a few months after Arhaa's 12th birthday when their father arrived home after yet another escapade to inform his wife he was leaving for good to never return. Free at last, the mother of two packed all the essentials, sell the home her children had grown up in and decided to move the family to Wilmington, her hometown. For a while, the new breath of fresh air worked on their favor; bringing the cursed family a new wave of tranquillity they hadn't known before thanks to the Ong family, yet it was short-lived the day the siblings found their mother passed out on the living room coming from school, lips blue and skin translucid and cold to the touch; he was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital. Unbeknownst to her children and her family, she had been on a battle with substance abuse since Arhaa's birth and it had finally caught up to her, leaving her children heartbroken and alone.

Arhaa's aunt, his mother's sister, decided to take the two siblings in in honor of her sister and although they learned to love and care for eachother in the long run and it ultimately reshaped the way the eldest viewed love and family, the first few years were difficult for everyone involved as each member of the family was in their own way, dealing with the grief of losing the most important person in their lives. One of Arhaa's methods to cope with his new reality became planning for his future; from high school grades and activities and a part-time job to save money, he planned an escape route: NYU. He worked tirelessly for the next two years to earn a spot in the prestigious school and was rewarded with not only an acceptance letter but a partial scholarship.

The eldest Ong sibling moved to New York for college leaving his little brother with a promise: he'd work hard to build a life and a home in the new city and once Adam was done with school, he'd move in with him and they could leave their past behind them. For two years, Arhaa spent his mornings attending lessons and his evenings and nights working two, sometimes three jobs to hold his end of the bargain and find a home the two siblings could share only for Adam to ultimately decline the offer, claiming he was better off in Windsor Bay. With no room to overthink or even discuss the issue, the eldest sibling spent the next year dedicating his full attention to college, ultimately graduating with a major in English Literature and a minor in Creative Writing. It took a couple years and a few odd jobs here and there for the writer to fully earn a space in the New York literary society ultimately making friends with an indie publishing company's owner that upon reading his very first draft of a book, offered him a deal to publish it the minute he was done editing it. At age 25, Arhaa saw his biggest dream brought to fruition when his first novel was published, quickly gaining enough momentum to become a moderate success not even 4 months after its publication.

In a streak of luck, the indie publishing company that initially trusted in him and his vision offered him a new deal to become an associate, offering him a third of the company and a new contract for his next books. The now renowned author happily accepted and worked tirelessly for an entire year on both his next book and signing new talent, wanting nothing more than making other's dreams come true.

A little after his 26th birthday with a bestseller and a deal for three more books, Arhaa decided to move back to Windsor Bay to both work on his second novel and to be closer to his brother. The years that followed brought the brothers a sense of calm and normalcy they hadn't felt in their life with, a family to call their own and to treasure. It felt like life was finally being kind to the Ong siblings until the fateful day the youngest Ong sibling was killed in a car accident only a few miles away from Arhaa's home where the eldest was hosting a birthday party for him. The news were soul-shaking for everyone involved and it send Arhaa into a spiral as he had lost both his best friend and the last remaining family member he had.

For months, he let his pain guide him. Drinks, parties, drugs and bodies passed through him in an attempt to heal wounds that had followed him from birth with little to no result. He'd live life with just enough conscience to get by and spend most nights wide awake, turning in bed letting each and ever skeleton in his closet keep him company in pain and anger. He let grief write his second novel, pouring out every part of him in his magnum opus that ultimately became his salvation. With the help of that second body of work and therapy, slowly but surely the author pulled himself out of the dark whole he made for himself and allowed himself to let go of some of the pain and heartache when he published his novel, two years after his brother's accident earning him another best seller weeks before its release.

Time passed and with enough help, his life began to make sense again. He cemented his name as a renowned author and made a life in his Windsor Bay; got a dog that became his trusty companion and closest confidant and on his 3-th birthday, Arhaa decided to give his life a new spin by becoming a foster parent, both to play a homage to his family who took him in and his brother when they needed it the most and wanting to be that safe space for kids who needed it. Years of preparing and waiting for the right pick later, he welcomed Jack and Mia into his home, the first children who were put under his care; their tragic story a mirror of his own, their pain and fear something he could not only relate to but was personally affected by. With enough care and love, Arhaa managed to gain the children's trust and later on their love, ultimately asking for their consent to fully adopt them as his own so they could become the family the three of them had been searching for their whole lives and officially becoming their adoptive father at age 35.