#and emotionally devastating

[febrilepenguin]

Hey, I dont know if anyone's mentioned this already, or Im dumb and just missed people talking about it, or if it was really obvious so no one said it, but the radioactive pool where the First Stoats mutated themselves had a wolf skull and a human skull laying at the bottom. And according to Aabria, the First Stoats had wolfish qualities and also flat human-like teeth. So I think whatever creature dies in the pool has its genetic qualities added to the radioactive soup, and whoever survives dipping in it gains those qualities as well.

Which would mean granny Ava would now have some wolf and human qualities as well? Maybe not as intensely as the First Stoats, but still.

Terrifying.

[evyltalks]

emotionally constipated but so aesthetically devastating. that’s my andrew minyard.

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[solarisce]

[draculasdatter]

girl what kind of interview with the vampire is this

[kesopan]

forming tear burns at 12 years old

[saragrosie]

Sketching while streaming s5...

Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)

Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:

(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)

[jugganautism]

happy ithaca saga release day and merry christmas/yule everyone 💚 now if you'll excuse me, i'll go cry in a corner

[sanzundertale]

babygirl i will invent stages of grief you have never seen before

[nickelwick]

Holy shit. I knew they said Monstrosity was supposed to be more mature, but I was not--I never could have expected they would've done something like this:

Kai willingly walking into water, something he had a deep fear of, as an act of suicide

Ignoring those trying to save him

He's blocking them out. He doesn't even care.

And then this...this is just haunting.

[running-in-the-ether]

the lines in Infinite Baths, "I have fought so long to be here, I am never going back" and "I'm finally here, and I'm not leaving this time", are so beautiful and hopeful.

and while I was reflecting on those I suddenly recalled this line from the Fall For Me video: "I want, to want, to live". and now I am crying.

[dinodealer1196]

[chronicowboy]

me for the next two weeks explaining why bobby can't be dead because of work song by hozier

[artistmarchalius]

Episode 3 of TADC reminded me of that one scene from Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves. Very Kinger and Queenie coded 🦋

[muleumpyo]

The day Eddie left for Texas, Buck made a mistake—the biggest of his life.

And that's saying a lot for a kid who was born a failure.

—

The realization had hit the moment he sat down on Eddie's couch, tablet in hand, head still ringing with the words "El Paso" and "leaving" and "Chris." The words hadn't made sense when Eddie had said them, not at first. He hadn't understood what they really meant.

I'm moving back to Texas.

Buck's own response had come out automatically. He could tell what Eddie needed in that moment—the awkward tilt of his head, his hands squeezing tight, his whole body radiating nervousness—and it wasn't whatever clawed, cold thing had suddenly tightened its grasp around Buck's heart, forcing it still.

Eddie wanted encouragement, so Buck had given it, smiling wide, his voice suddenly too loud in the small space.

It wasn't until he strode over to the couch and dropped himself onto its familiar cushions, that he realized that soon, he wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Eddie would find a place in El Paso, hire movers to wrap up his furniture, and start packing up the little house Buck had come to know as a second home. This couch wouldn't be here anymore, and everything else around him—the art on the walls, the pictures on the mantle, the plates they had eaten off a thousand times together—would be gone.

And Eddie, too. His best friend, his partner, the person he thought he'd see basically every day for the rest of his life. He'd be gone.

Nobody ever stays, Buck thought.

That was unfair, he knew. Of course, Eddie had to be with Christopher. There was no question. Eddie had been miserable these last few months without him. But Buck had always thought—had hoped—that Eddie would get through to Chris, or Chris would realize how much he missed his dad, or how much his dad loved him and wanted him home.

Home. Here, in LA.

Here, with the family they had built with the 118, and Maddie, and Jee, and Karen, and Athena, and all the people he and Eddie both loved...

Love.

For a second, Buck wasn't even sure he was breathing.

It was only when the couch dipped next to him and a familiar hand had landed on his shoulder that Buck realized how long he had been sitting there, frozen. When he looked over, he caught Eddie's relieved smile and his warm brown eyes, crinkled in the corners, all the tension from the kitchen gone.

And his heart, which felt like a stone in the center of his chest, restarted. This was Eddie, and Buck would do whatever he could to make sure he was happy. No matter what it took.

And the thought came then, so familiar it was as if he'd had it a thousand times before, although he never had. Not like this.

I want to kiss him.

But he couldn't do that. Eddie was leaving, and Buck wasn't going to do anything to mess up their friendship before he left.

—

The thought followed him around for the next month, as Eddie found a place (close but not too close to his parents and Christopher, with a pool already in the backyard) and put in an offer, as he put in his resignation and packed up his things and said goodbye to everyone, one by one.

Everyone was emotional about it. Buck's weren't the only tears shed at the goodbye (for now) party. That made it a little easier. It wasn't just him that loved Eddie, even if he was 98% sure nobody else there loved him in quite the same way.

But the thought followed Buck all the way out the front door with Eddie on that final morning, carrying the last boxes from the quiet, empty house. The weather had endeavored to comply with his mood, sending a rare storm through southern California the night before. In the pale morning light, rain silvered the edges of the trailer and the messy strands of Eddie's hair.

This was it.

They put the boxes in the trailer and Eddie pulled it closed, the metallic clank of the latch echoing in Buck's ears like some screwed up record playing the same five seconds of a song, over and over again.

Eddie turned to him, awkwardly clapping his hands together, an uncertain smile pressing into his cheeks.

There was now nothing left to say or do but make their goodbyes.

Neither of them spoke for a long moment.

"Have a good drive," Buck said suddenly, the words coming from somewhere outside himself. "Let me know when you get there."

The smile on Eddie's face shifted slightly, through some emotion Buck couldn't quite read. "Of course."

Silence drew long between them again, awkward in a way it never was. Buck's stomach twisted, his throat tight with some emotion he couldn't name. Was this it? His goodbye with Eddie?

"Well, I—"

"You should—"

They both stopped, each waiting for the other to continue.

This whole thing felt so wrong and it couldn't just be because he didn't want Eddie to go. It was wrong. But he couldn't keep him here, either.

Finally, Buck tried again, attempting to inject levity into his voice that he didn't feel. "You should probably get going, before traffic gets bad."

Amusement lifted the corner of Eddie's lips. "It's LA. Traffic is always bad."

Buck's heart curled up inside his chest. Why couldn't he do this right? "Yeah, I know, I just—"

"I know," Eddie interrupted quietly, stepping closer, his hand warm on Buck's shoulder. He looked... unhappy. "Sorry. I just—" he let out a low breath, shaking his head "—thanks."

Buck wanted to say it was okay, he understood, but he couldn't seem to speak. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him in close.

He tried to keep the hug light, friendly, but it was Eddie who squeezed him in closer, until they were fully pressed together and Buck couldn't help but hold him tightly in return.

They wouldn't have this again. Not in the same way, he was sure. The scent of Eddie's shampoo, the solidity and strength of his body in Buck's arms, the press of his face, so briefly, into the crook of Buck's neck. They fit so perfectly together, Buck never wanted to let go.

But eventually Eddie pulled back slightly, his grip loosening, and Buck made himself do the same. His heart felt like a fatal weight, pulling him underwater.

He didn't know why he did it. Perhaps it was that last second close together, their faces inches apart, the weight of Eddie's hands on his shoulders, or the way he hesitated when Buck went to pull away.

Or maybe it was the fear that he wasn't going to see Eddie again, not for a long time.

So Buck made the biggest mistake of his life: he leaned in and kissed Eddie.

The kiss was perfect, small and soft, Eddie's lips warm against his, the rain falling cool against his cheek. He felt suspended in space, his whole body lifted free from gravity's pull for just a moment. But it was wrong.

Eddie wasn't kissing back.

Fear slammed him back into himself, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. Of course, Eddie didn't feel the same.

Fuck. He had screwed this up, worse than any other screw-up.

He pulled away, mind reeling with excuses he couldn't quite get out of his mouth. But when he opened his eyes, it wasn't to accusations, or anger, but to tears on Eddie's face. Buck's whole body went cold.

"Eddie," he said helplessly, "I'm—"

Eddie shook his head, something painful stealing across his expression. 

The silence between them felt heavy, pulling at Buck's heart. But before he could ask, or continue, Eddie wrapped a hand around his arm and pulled him in again.

And this time, Eddie kissed him. 

If the first kiss had felt perfect, this felt better—and worse. Eddie pulling him close, lips soft on his, breath fanning across his cheek. The small sound he made when Buck leaned further in, the way he rose into the kiss, like he couldn't get enough. 

Perfect, and just—Eddie. 

But it was worse when he pulled away. It was worse when he met Buck's gaze, that pain from before not gone, but even more deeply embedded. 

"I'm sorry," Eddie said, his voice rough. "I have to go." 

Buck swallowed around the lump in his throat, unable to do more than say, "Y-yeah. I know. Have a safe drive."

Eddie nodded, eyes tracing over Buck's face like he was afraid he'd forget it. "We'll talk later."

Buck nodded, unable to speak. 

Eddie gave him one last look, and then he was gone.

[sointuina]

do you remember the taste of strawberries?