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moonlitcelestial · 4 months ago

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Chapter 9

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C 7,878

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 8)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer.

Contains she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures and the Pinterest boards (which will be updating as the story goes on).

General Warnings: cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness.

CHAPTER WARNINGS - Overthinking and mentions of an abusive family member. Read at your own risk.

Thanks for reading <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

You actually woke up to your alarm this time. It had been about a week since you got to hang out with the boys after their practice. You grabbed your glasses and swung your legs over the side of the bed to get your day started. Deciding that you were going to be halfway comfortable and halfway stylish you opted to grab a big My Chemical Romance shirt and some ripped up jeans. There was no telling if you were going to be sitting and monitoring cameras or if you were going to be wearing the harness and recording the boys talking to Atiny.

After getting dressed, packing your dobok (uniform) into your backpack with your laptop, and doing your morning routine you said goodbye to the giants. Stepping into the garage you grabbed your helmet quickly putting it on and you got on Ink to head to KQ. Before you took off you tied your hair back to make sure that it wouldn't be in your way. It was steadily getting warmer and you looked forward to being able to ride more often. Thankfully you had missed the early morning chill. You blasted some Ateez on the way and you had made it there just as the others had. Getting off the bike you took off your helmet and put it under your arm. You passed Willow who was nursing what was most likely her second cup of coffee. She nodded at you and got out of her car. Forrest and Aurora were already standing on the sidewalk chatting. You smiled as you approached them deciding you were going to be a pain in the ass. You put down your helmet and jumped on Forrest’s back as a greeting. He almost toppled over with you, Aurora was laughing at your antics. You knew that he would be able to catch you because this was a normal thing for you. Once he recovered he readjusted you and stood there with you on his back, he had just continued like nothing happened. Unbeknownst to you a couple of the boys had seen you and were almost steaming at you being on his back.

Willow approached the three of you, “Who is doing what today, we need to start setting up if practice starts in an hour.”

“I have no idea, want to play kai bai bo to figure it out?” You asked, scooting up on Forrest’s back.

“Sure,” Willow held her hand out “gawi, bawi, bo” each of you held out your hands, the three of them had chosen rock while you chose scissors.

“Oh fuck all of you,” you scrambled to get off Forrest’s back. You puffed your cheeks out, snatched your helmet off of the ground and stomped away.

“You get to wear the harness today,” Aurora shouted after you. You swiped your card and marched in toward the office. Setting your helmet down on your desk you started rummaging around in the office looking for the harness that you had to wear. You had found it tucked away in one of the storage closets. Someone had the common sense to hang it, thank god that thing was damned expensive. Honestly you didn't really mind wearing the harness it was more about how they all chose the same thing and you were the odd one out.

“Good morning Shutterbug,” you turned to look at Hongjoong. He was wearing a jean jacket, sweats and a cute hat. You felt all of the tension leave your body while you turned to look at him.

“Good morning Joongie,” you bowed with a small smile on your face.

“Aish, I told you don’t do that,” he dismissed you, walking into the room. You had forgotten that he told you that. He had gotten tired of you doing that within the first few days of you being around them. The rest of your team walked in shortly after he had plopped into your chair. You set the harness down on your desk and leaned over the back of the chair, you rested your hands on Hongjoong’s shoulders and sat your head on top of his.

“What is the plan for today?” Aurora asked the room.

“We are going to be going over the last bit of our choreography to clean everything up for the MV shoot next week. We were wanting to have three cameras around the room that are stationary and someone walking around with a camera just in case we have something we would like to say to Atiny. We plan to have practice for most of the day today.”

“Sounds good, I will be the one moving around today, but I will have my computer setup in the corner so we can stream all of the cameras to it again. Let's get moving so I have the time to make sure everything is situated before everyone starts getting here.” You stepped away from Hongjoong and smiled at him when he turned around in your chair to look at you.

You grabbed the camera you would be using and put it onto the portable desk you requested from KQ. They spared no expense and had gotten you one that had a little bit of storage. You put the other backpack with the streaming things onto it as you wheeled it toward the practice room. Everyone followed you out of the room after they grabbed their cameras, tripods and suction cups. Hongjoong was walking beside you, he had almost stolen the portable desk from you but you gently hip checked him out of the way. You could feel his eyes roll as you continued walking. You made it to the practice room and wheeled yourself into the back corner opposite of their setup. Gently you unpacked all of the things you needed. First the router, then the laptop. The team had come and taken the cameralinks to set up their cameras. You got everything booted up and checked the cameras that had started to connect up.

“Fuck, I forgot the harness” you groaned throwing your head back. Forrest, the perceptive person he is, walked over to you with the harness. “You're a lifesaver, I really didn't want to have to leave to go grab it.”

“Like we have said before, where would you be without us?” He remarked walking away after you took it from him.

“Probably out playing in traffic like a chicken with its head cut off,” Willow said from across the room. You flipped her the bird and Aurora laughed at you. Hongjoong chuckled from beside you. He always watched you set up if he was there. You looked at him and squinted, you pulled your glasses down your nose to glare at him. He fell into more laughter. You pushed your glasses back up and stuck your tongue out at him. He did the same to you and you heard someone snort. Looking around you saw the choreographer. He was watching you and Hongjoong like you were two teenagers in love.

You looked at your computer and checked the angles of the cameras. “Hey Rora, you need to adjust the side mirror camera to the left just a smidge, it isn't quite centered. Tree boy, the one on the front mirror looks good. Lo, yours needs to go slightly to the right.” They minutely adjusted their cameras and you gave them a thumbs up. You grabbed the harness from where you set it down.

Joongie, can you help me into the harness? It is fairly simple. All I need you to do is adjust the buckles and help me clip everything up.” He nodded to you and stepped back so you could get it over your body. Once you had it on you turned your back to him and pulled your hair out of the way. He was gentle with pulling on the straps as he swiftly fixed it to fit you.

“Is that okay? Do I need to make it looser or tighter?” He asked.

You did a mental checklist of where the pressure was and how much movement you had. “It feels good Joongie, thank you.” you grabbed the metal arm and put it into the slot, after you were sure it was secure you grabbed your camera. Making sure the cameralink was attached and where it needed to be you booted up the camera. As soon as you turned it on it started streaming its feed to your computer. You adjusted some of the camera settings to make sure the lighting looked good. Once you were satisfied it looked good you started walking around getting the feeling for having it on after so long. Hongjoong had stuck by your portable desk and watched as you went and spoke to the rest of the team.

As you were speaking to Aurora, Hongjoong spoke up to make sure his voice reached everyone. “I just got a message that the rest of the boys will be here shortly.” You walked back to your computer. You looked at your team, they were already watching you. You nodded at them and they turned on their portion of the recording. You pushed a couple of buttons on your camera and computer making sure everything was working correctly on your end. Aurora walked over to you and the portable desk to start watching the feed. Willow was going to head back to the office because she had a deadline she needed to meet. Thankfully if anything went awry she would be close. Forrest sat himself down in the front of the room right under the camera on the mirror. You made your way to the front corner of the room to get some decent angles for the dancing shots. Hongjoong and the choreographer had started up the music and were practicing while they were waiting for everyone else to arrive. Now it was time to wait.

Thankfully you did not have to wait long as the boys had started coming in one by one. The boys had started checking their choreography as everyone was showing up. Yeosang and Seonghwa appeared not too long after you had settled watching Hongjoong and the choreographer.

Were they trying to kill you? They both looked so good. Seonghwa with a backwards cap, a black tank top, and sweats. That man was so fine. Not to mention Yeosang, he may have had a cardigan over his tank top but the small glimpse of his arms had almost sent you into cardiac arrest. You were thoroughly intrigued by Yeosang’s choice of pants today. They had high slits on both legs which prompted him to wear what looked like leggings under them. You would definitely have to ask him where he got those.

They both approached you as soon as they caught sight of you. You turned the viewfinder to the front so they could check their appearance. Both of them checked themselves out and made a couple of faces at the camera. You covered your mouth to stifle your giggle at them. They looked at you with smiles and walked off to go start prepping their choreography before the rest of them got here. You rotated the viewfinder back as San came waltzing in. He looked to make sure he was out of the way before stepping beside you and speaking in a quiet tone, “what is that? I’ve never seen something like that.” You waved to Wooyoung as he came into the room.

“It is a harness and gimbal setup that keeps my camera steady when I am filming. It is especially helpful for days like today where I know I am going to be filming a lot.”

“Ahh, I see.” He said quietly, once he was satisfied he gave you a pat on the head and walked toward Yunho at the back of the studio with the computer. All of the rest of them greeted you with a smile as they wandered in and sometimes they stayed in front of your camera to check their reflection. You snickered at each one of them while they made faces at the camera. Little did you know they were doing it to get a reaction out of you and not for Atiny.

While you were waiting for everyone to get here Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung had taken to walking up to where you were standing and checking themselves in the flipped viewfinder; more often than you thought necessary.

As they were practicing the boys had gone in and out. You had giggled as they came back in time with their parts. Specifically when Seonghwa came in dancing backwards, and again when Mingi appeared with his sunglasses on. Those would have to be pulled from the mirror cameras to get the best shots. You pulled out your phone and texted Aurora. You watched as she grabbed her phone and hit a couple of buttons. She looked at you with a thumbs up. Through the years of working with each other you had come up with a quick system of silent communication. Ironically enough you learned it from the bastard who deleted your footage, he was all about shortcuts.

As the boys had continued practicing you knew that you would be doing lots of cuts back and forth to make sure you had most of the boys in your shots. When it came down to it you had made sure to follow the center person with your camera. Every once in a while you would catch one of them looking at you. They seemed to be acting as if you were their audience, which was going to technically be true because you would be filming them while they performed. On more than one occasion you caught them winking and smiling directly at you, you chalked it up to them flirting with the camera.

The time came for a break after about an hour of them practicing. You knew you had a short amount of time to go and grab drinks for everyone. You turned off your cameras recording and walked to the back of the room where the rest of your team was huddled up. Willow had reappeared and quickly came in a few minutes ago.

“I am going to get myself a drink, do any of you want anything?” You asked as you approached.

“I'll have a water if you don’t mind” Willow chirped

“I'll take anything with flavor!” Forrest replied shortly after

“I’m okay, I have my water.” Aurora motioned to her sticker covered tumbler sitting next to the computer.

“Okay, I will grab those and be back in a few minutes! Will one of you hold this?” You took off the arm from the harness with the camera on it and offered it out to them. Aurora took it from you. “Thanks!” You walked off following the trail of boys toward the drinks.

“Thank you for staying back for a minute, I have an interesting question to ask you. I ask that you be open minded with what I am about to ask.”

‘Okay, we are all ears.”

“We would like to ask if you think that Y/N would be remotely interested in joining our relationship.”

They all looked between each other with wide eyes. Smirks adorned their faces as they looked back to the man in front of them. They knew it.

“She has always been very open minded. I am not sure how she feels about poly relationships because I have not seen her in one, but I know that she is someone who loves wholeheartedly. I don't think she would be opposed, but more surprised.”

“Would you guys be okay with us dating her? We know that you are the closest thing she has to family here and we value your opinion.”

“I don't mind one bit, I will tell you that she is hesitant about relationships because she has been burned in the past.”

“I think that you guys will be really good for her, she deserves all of the love in the world.”

“I am hesitant because there are eight of you, but I can see how much you truly care for her so I know I will warm up to the idea. If any of you hurt her, I am not afraid of you being a very public figure, I have connections and know how to hide a body.”

“Duly noted, I will let the others know that as well.”

“We will support all of you, if anything we have been trying to get her to see how blatantly you guys have been flirting with her, she is so smart, but so oblivious.”

“We will see if we can get her to notice.”

“Thank you, for everything, your opinion on the matter means so much to us.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“What do you think of the choreography so far?” Seonghwa asked you as you approached the stash of drinks.

“I really like it, I am so excited to see how they pull off the concept. I'm sure all of you will look so good with whatever they come up with.” You said grabbing a couple of waters and a gatorade for Forrest.

“Wait, Y/N!” You turned to look at San who was holding a Monster out for you. “I grabbed this for you, it is getting close to your nap time so I figured you would need some sugar.“ You looked at him in shock, you could feel the heat raising up your neck.

“That's my favorite, how in the world did you know?” You asked, taking it from his outstretched hand.

“I see you with Monster a lot, this is just the one I see you with most frequently so I took a guess.” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

“You are the sweetest, thank you so much.” You kissed his cheek. His eyes got comically wide as you pulled away. You giggled and started walking back to the practice room. As you were making your way back to the practice room you could hear the laughter erupt behind you. San must be cherry red wearing that cute small embarrassed smile. When you got back to the practice room you handed the drinks to your team, took the camera arm and attached it while walking. You sat on the floor next to the farthest marker and smiled up at Yeosang who came to sit by you. Both of you sat in silence watching the rest of the boys, choreographers, and your team.

“I love being able to people watch, even though I hate people.” You watched as some of the boys were practicing to get something down. You turned to look at your team that was just hovering by the the laptop.

“I do as well, I have always wanted someone to sit and do this with as most of the boys get bored and don't pay any attention. I always like knowing what others perceive from watching others.”

“If you need someone to sit with and people watch let me know. I don't even mind if we aren't people watching and just sitting with each other. I am content just being in a room without talking.” You said with a smile. He looked at you and smiled but before he could reply Hongjoong called everyone back. You quickly put your vest back on and started recording again.

You watched as they started practicing again, in between all of the cuts you saw Jongho mess with Yeosang. He had a hold of his shoulders and was waving him around. You messaged Aurora again and she gave you a thumbs up. After a while you were watching them get back into the full swing of things

In between dancing Yunho had walked up to the camera on the mirror across the room from you. He started doing a little Ice on My Teeth dance while the others were lining things up behind him. You looked at Aurora. She was smacking Willow, who was standing beside her as calm as a cucumber. Her eyes were comically wide at the display, you didn’t text her this time because you knew she already bookmarked it. You chuckled at her, she had always been able to be calm around the boys but when it came down to Yunho she freaked the fuck out. He was her bias which was absolutely hilarious because she had his female counterpart for a wife. Both of them were such golden retrievers, she definitely had a type.

You suddenly got the craving for something sweet, you already finished your monster which deeply saddened you. You grabbed your phone out of your pocket and put in an order for you and everyone else. It wouldn’t be fair if you got something and didn’t share. You messaged Willow and asked if she would go out and get the drinks when they got here. A little while later you got the notification that they were here. You got Willow’s attention and gestured to the door. She nodded and silently made her way to go grab the drinks. She brought everything back in, handling the thirteen drinks beautifully. She grabbed hers and Aurora’s before heading back to the computer. You threw something small at Forrest to get his attention. His attention snapped to you as you pointed down to the drinks at your feet. His eyes immediately lit up and he slowly attempted to make his way over without being too suspicious, which only made him look more suspicious. You caught Aurora and Willow laughing in the back corner at him.

As soon as the boys started taking a break you got their attention and pointed to the drinks at your feet. Thank god you had taken note of what everyone liked previously, otherwise this would have been a disaster. They all lit up and made their way toward you.

“Everyone should have their own drink and one for the choreographer too.” You watched as they picked through the drinks and handed them out to each other. Each of them thanked you in their own way, Wooyoung, San, Mingi and Yunho hugged your sides being careful of the camera and harness. It was then that you noticed the ache starting to settle into your shoulders and legs. Fuck around, you had forgotten how harsh this was on your body, even if you were standing mostly still and leaning against the wall it did a number on you. It would be okay for a little while longer.

Jongho and Yeosang lifted their cups to you in a cheers motion. Seonghwa and Hongjoong smiled at you with small bows. The choreographer bowed politely and thanked you before moving over to the center of the room to talk to the boys as they rested. Most of the boys had wandered around the room listening to the choreographer as he addressed them. Mingi had a specific question about his movements and just as you were getting your camera to focus on him, San stepped in front of you.

He flirted with the camera a little before noting that the choreography was really cool. He gave you a thumbs up before he left. You looked over to Aurora and Willow and they were both snickering. You raised your eyebrow in question and they shook their heads at you. You offered a thumbs up to Aurora and she gave you one back indicating that she bookmarked the spot.

“He totally did that to just go talk to her.”

“Absolutely, the only thing is, did she notice or think of it like that? Or was it “just him speaking to Atiny”

Just shortly after you were watching the boys monitor their choreography when Mingi knocked over Wooyoung’s coffee. Hongjoong had freaked out just a little and you laughed at the whole situation. When Wooyoung got back from doing whatever he was doing he noticed his spilt coffee. Hongjoong jumped in and offered his two cents while they made up talking about a coffee date later.

You startled as Seonghwa approached. He had been in and out of the room and you hadn’t noticed him amidst the chaos. He had stepped beside you and gently put his head on your shoulder. You smiled and put your head on top of his. You could feel your heartbeat pick up and you worried that he might be able to hear how fast it was beating. Glancing over to Aurora and Willow they were already looking at you and they had raised eyebrows. Aurora broke out into a smile at something Willow whispered into her ear. She over exaggerated a wink in your direction. You rolled your eyes and looked back to your camera. Just as quickly as he appeared he left, you watched him walk back over to the choreographer and start asking questions.

You turned to look at Forrest who was at the zero mark just waiting until he was needed. “Psst, Forrest,” he looked at you with his head tilted to the side. “Can we trade for a bit? This harness is starting to hurt me.” He nodded and stood up, making sure to avoid the camera above his head. Gently and quickly you took off the harness and helped him get settled into it. Once you both were satisfied that everything was okay you ducked under the camera and walked out of the room. Thankfully you had stashed some pain medication in your KQ office.

As you wandered through the office you passed many people waving at the ones you recognized. You had passed Eden and the rest of his crew. They waved at you with large smiles. You had become close with them over the past few weeks. Generally new people freaked you out but just as soon as you got to know them you realized they were just like the boys just a little older.

You just turned the corner to the office before you heard Willow calling out your name. You turned to look at her and smiled. She caught up to you and threw her arm around your shoulder. You held back your wince and walked the rest of the way to your office.

“Are you okay, are your legs hurting you again?” She asked once you closed the door. You nodded and went to your desk digging through it to find the pain meds. You downed the pills with a drink of water you left here the other day.

Yeah, that and my shoulders, that damn thing can get heavy after having it on for hours. You bent your leg to get your knee to pop to see if it would relieve some of the pressure. It did, but you let out a groan because it also hurt like hell for a second. You glanced at Willow as she winced. You knew she was remembering when you told her about what happened in college. Which made you think back to the entire ordeal.

You had been filming something for a school project and one step wrong while you were framing a shot led to it popping out and right back into place. Being the busy dumbass you are you didn’t rest properly after doing that and you had to get a surgery to fix the instability. Which led to you being out for almost a year learning how to walk again. On the plus side you did have a gnarly looking scar on your left knee. You put your foot back on the ground and tested your weight on that leg. Thankfully you were stable, sometimes you wobbled after a pop like that.

“Come on, we should probably get back, the boys were taking a quick break before starting to film the full thing.”You nodded and started to walk toward the door, you almost got smacked in the face with how quickly the door swung open. You leapt back just a little and looked to see who had flung open the door. Yunho stood there with a large smile.

“Damnit Yuyu you almost took me out,” you rolled your eyes and walked over to the tall man. Making a shooing motion you ushered him out of the doorway so you could get back to the practice room. He threw his arm around you as soon as you got into the hallway. You felt the twinge of pain flare up at the place he rested his arm around your shoulders. You shook your head at him and turned to look at Willow who was just a step behind you. She was smiling at you mischievously. You ignored the look and turned to look at Yunho, he was smiling at some of the people you passed by. His face was a little red from practicing all day. The thing that caught you most was when he turned to look at you, his eyes widened just a hair and you saw his face get just slightly more red. He held eye contact with you for what felt like a millisecond before greeting Eden and his team.

This man is so beautiful. His personality shines so brightly when he is surrounded by the people who support him. You could tell that everyone here cared for him, and he them. Most of the people you passed greeted him, and by extension you. You smiled politely and kept walking. Not even half of those people had greeted you, even some of the ones you recognized.

Why would someone like him want to be associated with you? Why would someone so much like a ray of sunshine want to be anywhere near someone who was a shadow. You could feel yourself falling into your old habits, ones that weren’t mentally healthy. You could see the light he brought to a room. How well loved he is and compared yourself to him, how could you not; especially when it was all you grew up with.

Why can’t you be more like them? Why can’t you have a social life like them? Why do you stay in your room all the time? Why haven’t you found yourself a boyfriend yet? Why aren’t you going to school for something actually useful like a doctor? How come all you wear is black? Why not add some color to your wardrobe?

Before you even realized you were back in the practice room. Forrest was hanging out talking to Yeosang and San about something. You pulled away from Yunho and headed to where Forrest had been. You sat against the mirror. Closing your eyes you focused on the cool seeping into you, it was grounding. Focusing on your body however leads you to feel the pain of your shoulders and knee. You raised your right hand to gently massage the junction between your shoulder and neck. You opened your eyes to see Hongjoong and Jongho looking at you with concerned looks on their faces. You waved them off with the hand that was massaging your shoulder. You let your other hand rest on your knee to put some pressure on it so maybe it would stop hurting so bad.

“One more time and then we run it through to record it.” You heard the choreographer say from the side of the room. Everyone shifted back into being professionals and you watched as they almost flawlessly danced to the rhythm pumping through the speakers.

“Y/n, can you record this or me while I watch?” The choreographer asked you. You nodded and stood up slowly bracing your hands on your knees. Everyone went to the mirrors to cover them. Once they finished you grabbed your phone from your pocket and started the recording. You had taken some creative liberties with the recording, making sure to follow the leads and get closer to the choreography as needed. Once they finished dancing you walked to the back with them to plug in your phone so they could watch the video.

“I love the angles you got Y/n,” Yunho said, his eyes not leaving the monitor. The rest of them hummed in agreement. You heard someone behind you and turned to find a couple of people you didn’t recognize. You took a step to the side, effectively running into Jongho. You smiled sheepishly at him and subconsciously rubbed your shoulder. Taking a step back you felt your heel catch something. You stopped all movement and realized it was one of the new people. You muttered a sorry as he stepped aside to let you out. Quickly stepping away from the huddle of men you released a breath. You went to the only solid wall and leaned against it. Your heart was beating a little faster and you could feel your breath coming out a little quicker. You closed your eyes and tightened your hands into fists. Now isn’t the fucking time for this.

You aren’t there, you are here. You could feel your heartbeat slow a little as you muttered the affirmation to yourself over and over. You are surrounded by good people, not your father and his friends. You aren’t their punching bag, they are normal people. Your breathing started to even back out from the erratic pattern. Thinking about that wretched man has always sent you into a more sensitive state. He haunted you even after all this time, you could feel the ghost of him at your back sometimes; just waiting to grab you and throw you around. You could still hear the hurtful words that he had thrown at you. Once remembered they chimed through you like a bell; the reverberations always lingering. You opened your eyes and counted down from twenty releasing a long breath.

Thankfully the boys hadn’t noticed as they were too wrapped up in their monitoring. Aurora, Willow and Forrest did though. You could feel their looks on you. You turned to the side and looked at Aurora and Willow. Willow mouthed “are you okay?” you gave her a small nod and looked back at the boys. They had separated and were chattering about how to fix some of the more minute details. You went and grabbed your phone before heading back to the front of the room awaiting further instructions. You watched as the choreographer went over things with a couple of the boys. Yeosang had wandered out of the room for something and as he made his way back you watched as he closed the door with his butt. You couldn't hold back the laughter that erupted from you. His gaze snapped to you as he realized that you were one of the only ones who saw him. He blushed cherry red and put his head down wandering toward the monitor in the back.

Everyone had practiced a little more and as Wooyoung was leaving the monitoring station he yelled Movement check and you watched as Seonghwa glared at him and shook his head. You lightly laughed at the reference.

The rest of the day went smoothly you had only had to do a couple more takes of them doing their thing until they were done. You helped Forrest out of the vest and carried it out of the room. Aurora and Willow were quick to dismantle the rest of your setup and made their way after you and Forrest. Once you were happy with where everything was you grabbed your helmet and started toward Ink.

“Hey Y/N want to go out to eat with us?” You turned around and were met with San and Yunho.

“If it were any other day, I would love to but I have weekly plans.” You responded, hefting your backpack over your shoulder. Your laptop and your change of clothes which made it fairly heavy. Thankfully the meds had kicked in and you were relatively pain free.

“Ahh I see, well I hope you have fun! We will see you soon,” San said with a large smile and a hug.

“Thank you, see you soon!” You replied, returning the hug and giving Yunho one as well. You meandered the rest of the way to Ink before heading out. You needed the reprieve from today and this was one of the few ways you could escape. You felt the wind in your hair as you drove to one of your favorite places. After a short drive you arrived at The Black Dragon. You have been coming here for just over seven years. It had become a home away from home. When you did some looking into it, and after a few unsuccessful classes, you fell in love with this studio and how their people treated you like family. The owners treat everyone with kindness and are some of the most open minded people you have met.

You got off of Ink and toted your backpack into the dojang. They had all greeted you with warm smiles as you made your way to the small bathroom to change out of your outfit into your all black dobok. You had been recently instructing some of the younger children in your free time before your class took place. You absolutely loved being able to connect and teach them and you seemed to be a fan favorite of the parents because of how you responded to their kids. Most of the time you had heard complaints that the other instructors elsewhere were too hard on them but you pride yourself on being understanding and kind to them. They were little kids after all.

You walked out to the main room and saw some of your students stretching and having fun. Once they noticed you they all ran to hug you chattering about the week they have had since they last saw you.

“Sabum-nim, have you had a good week?” You heard one of the boys ask you.

“Yes, I have had an excellent week.” You ruffled the boy’s hair as you walked past him to the front of the room. When you were satisfied that everyone was here you started the class. You went through the basics just like normal. Going through the lines of children you made small adjustments to some of their stances. Once you were satisfied with how they had progressed you started teaching them something new.

About an hour later you dismissed the class and greeted some of the parents that had been sitting and watching the class. They all loved to chatter about how the children practiced at home and how much they adored you. Once all of the young children and their families left, all of the adults started filing in. Your class was about to begin, this was something that you looked forward to each week. It helped you release the tension that you were holding. You started your basic stretches, your mind and body falling into autopilot. You were so in your zone that you hadn't noticed a person speaking to you until they put a hand on your shoulder as they walked around in front of you. Because you were in your zone your instinctive response was to knock them on their ass. You kicked at their knees, wrapped your arm around the one on your shoulder, jabbed them in the throat, and knocked their legs out from under them. You heard his shout which brought you back to reality. You looked down to the person who had scared the shit out of you to notice it was a man. You had never seen him before in all of your years coming here. Some of the other people that had been stretching beside you snickered as the man that was on the floor groaned. They knew better than to touch you without your permission especially when you were warming up. They knew how you got after years of learning beside you.

“Ah I see you've met Ji-ho.” You heard Iesul speak from a few feet away. She was one of the women that started about the time you did. You smiled wide at her and walked over to her. She had been away from practice because she just had a baby, you must have missed her the past couple of times because your schedules did not always line up. You stretched your arms out to offer her a hug and she gladly accepted.

“I've missed having you around, how are you? How is your beautiful baby?”

“I am doing well, the baby boy is doing well too, this is one of the first couple times I have been back since I have had him.” She responded with enthusiasm. Her voice dropped to a whisper, “He has been here almost every day since last week according to the owner’s wife. He seems to think he is the shit and has been hitting on some of the women around here. If you ask me I think he needed to be knocked down a peg.” You laughed at her and the rest of the people in the short vicinity of you did as well.

You heard someone clap and you turned around and moved to get into your place next to Iesul. You all bowed to Instructor Chung Ae as he looked down to the floor at Ji-ho who was still in the fetal position clutching his windpipe.

“What are you doing?” He deadpanned. You held back your snicker at his monotone question. He was one of the goofiest men you had met, once you got to know him. You and he had become close over the years. He and his wife had often given you some of the food they had prepared for dinner to take home. He always treated you well and held you to a high standard. Much like a father figure would. He was the closest thing that you had to a true father, even though you only saw him about once a week.

“Y/N handed his ass to him after he touched her while she was in her zone.” Someone piped up from the back. Everyone snickered at the response. Instructor Chung Ae looked at you and raised his eyebrow. You smirked and shrugged at him, he smiled at you shaking his head.

“Get up, if you cannot understand the personal space of other people, or take a couple of punches, you can see yourself out.”

Ji-ho got up off the floor and glared at you. You had seen worse glares from babies. All you did was smile at him which seemed to piss him off further. He took his spot toward the back of the room and you turned back to Instructor Chung Ae. Once he was satisfied that Ji-ho was not going to be any more of a hindrance he began the class.

You continued with everyone for about an hour. Your movements seemed to be smoother and your head clearer once you were finished. The earlier fog and lingering thoughts had dissolved away the more you went through the motions. This class has always brought you clarity, sometimes you came here to clear your mind when you needed inspiration for shoots. There was just something so cathartic about losing yourself in the movements. Most of the time you would join in on whatever class was going at the time, and if it was late you just went cruising on Ink.

After changing and stopping to chat with some of the other people around you said your goodbyes and made your way out to Ink. As you approached you noticed someone standing next to it, Ji-ho.

Of fucking course.

“What's up?” You asked as you approached him and your bike. You were really hoping that he was out here to apologize for invading your space. If you knew his type though, it would be the absolute opposite. Thankfully if he made a scene you had parked close enough to the front of the dojang that they would see you.

“What the fuck was that in there? Why did you have to embarrass me in front of everyone? I demand an apology.” He got very close and in your face. This man was really asking to be not only punched but laid out on his ass again.

“First of all, please step the fuck back and get out of my face, we have already established I can put you on your ass. Second of all, if you hadn't noticed, we are close enough to the front of the dojang that we have an audience.” You said looking over your shoulder. There were several people watching you in the window, including Instructor Chung Ae and his wife. “Third of all, I am not afraid of people like you in the slightest. You may act like a big macho man but all you are is a weak ass little boy. I heard about you from a couple of the people there and I can guarantee if you take one more step out of line you will be banned from this establishment. Fourth, you do not deserve an apology for something that could have been prevented by using your common sense to not touch someone when they are not paying attention. So I very highly suggest that you walk the fuck away before anything else happens.” you stated.

He looked at you very unimpressed. He reached out to grab you but before he could even fully raise his arm you heard the ding of the front door. Instructor Chung Ae and his wife came out of the building, you took a side step and bowed to the couple. She had a small thing of tupperware in her hands and a large smile as they approached you.

“Everything okay out here Y/N?” Instructor Chung Ae asked as he approached the two of you.

“That is up to him,” you said, poking a thumb over your shoulder.

“Everything out here is great, I was just complimenting her on her bike, it is very beautiful.” Ji-ho said with a tight lipped smile.

Instructor Chung Ae’s wife stepped closer to you, handed you the tupperware and said “you forgot your dinner inside, we figured we would bring it out to you and thank you for helping instruct the children, they seem to love you.”

You bowed and accepted it with both hands. “Thank you!”

“Well if everything is okay out here we will let you get home Y/N,” Instructor Chung Ae said, clapping his hand on Ji-ho’s shoulder practically dragging him back inside. Instructor Chung Ae’s wife stayed behind for a second.

“Are you okay? She whispered to you.

“Yes I am perfectly fine, for the safety of the others I would highly recommend him being banned. He was out here demanding an apology and being a complete asshole. I am sure if you hadn't come out he would have ended up back on his ass.” You said in a hushed tone.

“Consider it done, we will see you next week," she said cheerfully. She turned around and walked back to the building. You looked down at the tupperware in your hand and couldn't help but to be thankful for the two of them and their dojang.

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 10)

Taglist:

@breadedloafs @a-short-ass-disappointment @ateezswonderland @staytinyluv @cherryangel-coke @11glitch11 @neivivenaj @herpoetryprincess @premverse @starryjoong-jeongcheollie @sol3chu

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petew21-blog · 1 year ago

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Teen wolf - Alpha needs his pack Part 2.

Hey, y'all already know who we are right? We're like two of the most popular guys at school. Or maybe the coolest. Or... ok forget I said that. We are just bestfriends, by day we do normal shirt together by some nights Scott is doing his wolf stuff and I try to help out as much as I can.

But recently sometihng has changed. Scott started to act more dominant. We spoke less and less. He is so focused on the pack and the dangers that might come, but that's not how Scott usually is. Also, what happened to Theo? He is always ten steps behind Scott like some sort of a servant and he even keeps looking at me. But not with his self-centered I AM BETTER THAN YOU look, but now he looks like he wants to tell me sometihng, like he is being punished. I'll try to talk to him, since Scott is distancing himself from me now. HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO. Without me! We were talking getting one and he didn't wait for me. Ok, maybe my dad would be against it, but I would resist. Maybe, for a while. Ok, I wouldn't dare, but you know. He could have said something.

I think I was getting really desperate. My best friend is not talking to me, everyone else would think the way that I do. I knew If I were in his pack he couldn't ignore me. But if my dad found out I was bitten someday, he would flip. Or maybe I would too. The first transformation must be horrible. Which is why I contacted one witch. She is not evil, but doesn't work for free. And I still didn't have an idea how to get Scott to talk to me, but she would know what to do. Wouldn't she?

We met up in the forest. She brough a box with her with all sorts of potions and equipment. She was a middle aged, very beautiful woman, nice hair, leather jacket.

"Hey. You're not the witch from Snow White I was expecting."

"Money" she said annoyed after my joke

I handed her the money. And started nervously: "Haha, sorry about that. I just get nervous handling illegal stuff in the dark with strangers. Not like I would do that, like ever. Not like drugs or anything. I don't do drugs..."

"You talk too much." She handed me a small vial of liquid. As I observed the vial, she touched my hand. "Do you even know, there's some magic in you? Are you so blind to everything around you, you don't even see whats in you?"

"I am a wizard?"

"No. You have some magic, but you're weak." she started packing her things and getting ready to leave.

"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do."

"Drink it to get close to who you want." she said mysteriously.

What does that even mean? I drank the whole vial and she just smiled at me. I hope that's a good sign. A smile from a witch. Sure

Suddenly a noise echoed through the forrest. That sounded like a howl. The witch was already running away from me.

In a minute Derek appeared behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I was really surprised to see him, but also not. The wolves always protect the Beacon Hills so if there was a creature tresspassing, they would know. I tried to sound confident. "Well I could be asking you the same thing"

"Do you even know that the Dread doctors are in Beacon Hills?! Has no one told you they pose a threat, Stiles?!? They want to get to Scott and you are parading in a forrest doing god knows what."

"I was just... on a midnight walk. It's very healthy actually. You should try sometimes. But I guess you run a lot around the town during the night. Right. Anyway..."

"Stiles, shut the fuck up and let's go."

He touched my arm and then my whole world flipped. It must have happened really fast, but for us it felt like ages. I even think I saw Derek's aura? soul? I don't know. But those things switched places in our bodies. They positioned themself and after that I opened my eyes again.

I saw myself. Myself from Derek's eyes. As I looked down I saw Derek's muscles. Oh man, he's gonna kill me now.

"Stiles?!?" the expression of my face changed from my usual friendly approach to the one I might have had maybe the last time playing a video game. I didn't even know my face could do this.

"Yesss?" whoa. Did that vibrating manly voice just come out of me? That's so hot. I have to calm down before Derek notices I am not that mad about the situation as he is.

"What exactly have you been doing here? And I need you to tell me everything." haha. My body looks so funny when he's trying to look angry.

I told him how I felt about Scott, how the witch took the money and gave me the vial and how I drank it.

He laughed of frustration. "You fuckin' idiot. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"The Dread Doctors were planning to swap you and Scott. You were suppose to go meet him after this, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well of course. Our little stiles feels intimidated by Scott new ball drop and wants to be close, just to endanger the whole town in doing so. What would you do if you swapped with him? Would you manage being the Alpha? HUH? No, right. Didn't think so."

"Sorry, this wasn't the plan."

"Oh I know it wasn't. And it sure wasn't my plan to spend the evening fucking myself."

"WHAT?! WHAT do you mean?! Why should I.... YOU...WHAT?"

"Every magical thing has a twist. And maybe from every cheesy freaky friday movie you watch, you might understand, that the people that swap have to get close somehow, make up. They always have to 'learn a lesson', 'try to walk in each others shoes', but they all take the long way. The fastest way to swap is to know how the other one FEELS."

"Derek, I... I don't know if I want this."

"Well I sure as don't want this kid, but we don't have a choice now, do we? Now, get on your knees. I got places to be."

He came close to me and started unzipping my jeans.

"Hey that's my dick!"

"No, it's mine now. And if you don't want it to be like this forever, which I really don't, then SUCK IT!"

I have to say, that seeing my own body being so dominant was in some ways really hot. I lowered myself.

"I have never seen it from this angle. It looks really nice."

"Stiles. SUCK IT!"

I didn't want to bee yelled at anymore, but Derek's body seemed to react to it slightly. I liked the shaft first, grabbing the lower part of my dick and positioned my mouth over it. My beard over my lips slightly scratching the head of my dick seemed to cause sensation to him. I pushed the dick more and more. Damn, almost no gag reflex. Convenient. My dick is real nice I gotta say. Striaght, slightly hairy, nice balls. It's not one of the biggest out there, but it's not bad in the mouth.

I accelerated. He started moaning. I used my right hand to jerk the lower half and blow the top. I think I'm getting good at this. Maybe cause Derek now put his hand in my hair to hold onto something.

"So you like it huh?"

"DON'T STOP!"

I got back to it, accelerating even more until streams of cum released into my mouth. I swallowed.

"So? When do you think we're gonna swap?" I asked him

He hyperventilated from the orgasm. "I... I thought this would work actually."

"Well maybe we gotta fuck for real. Let's go to my place. My dad's on duty now.

We entered my room. I could see the post nut clarity in his eyes. Post nut clarity and desperation. Nothing I haven't seen before on my own face.

"Ok, Derek. The lube is in the drawers. There is a completely new one. I haven't had a chance to use it. Guess I still won't be the first one using it. Hahah."

"What do you mean?"

"You just came. My body isn't used to cum two times a in an hour, So if you can't do the math, I'll do it for you."

"We'll wait until your body's dick gets hard." he said indifferently

A wave of anger swept over me

"Listen here, Derek. You suggested this and I followed. Now it's your turn to obey and do what I tell you. You don't want to be stuck like this and these are your methods. So we're gonna fuck. And I will be on top. Understand?"

He just nodded. I could see the fear in his eyes. But also excitement. And what I really didn't expect a tent formed in his jeans. That little fucker likes to be dominated. He's just hiding it behind this facade.

I was horny, hell yeah I was. And I also wanted to enjoy being this buff for just a few minutes. I did some pull ups. It went so easily. His body is so amazing. Maybe I should hit the gym after we go back.

Derek just sat shirtless on the bed, watching me lift myself up and down.

I got near him. The sweat drops rolling over my muscles. I took his hand and positioned it on my belt. He unbuckled it. SHIIIT this dick is huge. No wonder when Derek is such a masculine man.

"SUCK IT!" I said just as he said before. Only now, my voice was more manlier than his. He obeyed me, he wanted me to feel good and ge was doing such a great job. I thrusted my hips into his mouth as he was sucking. He choked many time. My body's gag reflex made it worse for him. Take that, that's for before

I took off my pants and he took off his. He turned around and got in position for me to enter him. I took the lube, put some on my hand, then his ass. Then on my new dick. Fuck, it's my first time jerking his dick. And it feels so good. I don't think I want to swap. But if I get my hands on the vial, I could swap with anyone. It would be cool to know what it's like to be Theo. He has a beautiful body.

My mind got back from daydreaming to fucking again. My hard pulsating dick in my hand ready over my hairy ass. I pushed, slowly, gently. I waited for him to get used to it. He moaned like a little bitch. While I waited for him to enjoy the pain I grabbed his dick. He was just as hard as I was. I took my other hand and grabbed him under his neck and took him close to me. My other hand still on his dick, jerking him, my own dick thrusting into him. He moaned. I kissed his neck and bit him a bit. I could feel my wolf teeth come out. But no, not the time

I accelerated. Thrusting more into him and jerking him twice as before. He wasn't moaninf, he was screaming out of pleasure now. And then it hit. Both of us. Be came at the same time. I came into him and ha came all over my bed. We panted, my dick still inside of him slowly getting flacid.

I pulled out. Laying myself down and he did so next to me on the bed.

"Well, that didn't work."

We just looked at each other, both wondering what we were gonna do.

But hey, atleast I get to be part of the pack with Scott now.

A story from inbox that skipped a few others: Maybe a second part of the new alpha where stiles hires some witch to make him and derek swap bodies in order to improve the pack. Maybe even derek had a kink with being smaller and loves the new reality.

Sorry for taking so long, but don't worry. Your story is coming

Part 1:

Part 3:

#body swap #male body swap #body switch #teen wolf body swap

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edennill-archived · 11 months ago

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Browsing the #Maglor Fëanorion tag

🌌 at-even follow

This track is honestly such a mood

#my go to background music for when I'm missing home #maglor fëanorion #music tag

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🎶 songkind follow

I'd love it if Maglor haters didn't clog the tag though 😡

🍏 forrest follow

He's literally a kinslayer

🎶 songkind follow

No one asked your opinion.

🌅 anar-is-cool follow

I couldn't be more indifferent to him but there are "#anti -" tags for a reason guys.

#just through a quick search I found #anti maglor fëanorion #20k members #maglor is a kinslayer #7k members #anti-maglor #1.8k members #and there has to be more

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💛 ur-loving-frnd follow

My outlandish crack theory no one asked for:

Maglor Fëanorion is Caranthir and the Ambarussat in a trenchcoat. Wait, listen - I've got semi-reasonable arguments for that one lol.

#This is all ignoring that I've actually met him #let's say they hired an actor xd #maglor fëanorion

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✨ aitos-url follow

#aitos #polls #maglor fëanorion

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🌠 d3nq follow

You know you're old when you realise you remember when Maglor last released a happy album

#shitpost #maglor fëanorion #edit: oh wow I didn't expect this to blow up so much

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👤 luinhasnopfp-luinneedsnopfp follow

I honestly can't believe how many of you pay lip service to justice and respect and political correctness and then turn around and listen to maglor fëanorion . you are aware you're popularising kinslayers, right? and don't care it's actively harmful?

❄️losseth following

like I'm a Sinda and I listen to him ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

👤 luinhasnopfp-luinneedsnopfp follow

he literally uses quenya in half his songs girl

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🎶 songkind follow

#this is just me rambling but I really can't describe what it is exactly. it speaks to me though #just how much more deeply than everyone maglor feels and suffers #I don't think it's something I or anyone (incl his critics) can understand #you can't judge him on a normal basis he's that kind of person #a category of his own #maglor fëanorion

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🔥n0ru follow

If you know you know

#maglor fëanorion

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#my post #Silmarillion #silm crack #silm #maglor #modern au #(not but it's close enough)#dashboard simulator

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coraniaid · 4 months ago

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It would have been very easy for the writers of The Gift to frame Giles's decision to kill Ben as something other than what it is.

Ben could have tried to attack Giles first, in order to escape, forcing Giles to defend himself (we know that Buffy herself has, by this point in the show, almost certainly taken several human lives in self-defence, whether that's one of the Order of Taraka assassins in What's My Line? or Gwendolyn Post in Revelations or some of the Knights of Byzantium earlier in the season). We, the audience, know that Ben has actually made the choice to side with Glory and betray Dawn -- the writers could have had Giles find this out somehow, rather than having him kill Ben while believing Ben to be entirely blameless for anything Glory did. If nothing else, they could have had Giles kill Ben in a less sordid and realistic way: choking him to death after establishing that he can barely move while Ben struggles feebly to stay alive.

But, notably, the writers didn't do this. At every stage they made the choice to frame Ben's death as unsympathetically as they could. They make it very clear that they don't think Ben's death is something to approve of at all. Just in The Gift itself:

Xander brings up the possibility of killing Ben to stop Glory ("I know he's an innocent, but not like Dawn innocent ... we could kill a regular guy") only to immediately rule it out with a look of disgust. Why say this if not to comment on what Giles will later do?

Willow explicitly notes that the ritual to use the Key is "a one time thing": if Glory doesn't manage to kill Dawn this time, she's got no reason to try again. Why say this if you want Giles's later decision to seem justified?

The scenes with Dawn and Glory suggest that the separation between Glory and Ben is weakening, meaning that Glory herself is becoming more human and more affected by human emotions like guilt and empathy. Why include these scenes if we're meant to see Glory as an active, long-term danger?

Tara prophetically accuses Giles of being "a killer", a word we've heard before on the show (see, for example, the way Faith reacted to being called a killer by Forrest in Who Are You?, or indeed Buffy's own fears that "the Slayer is just a killer" as expressed this episode). Why use this word, or include this moment at all, if we're meant to be cheering Giles on?

Giles himself gives Ben a speech in which he admits that Buffy would never kill Ben because it's not the heroic thing to do. Like ... this isn't exactly subtle.

We are not meant to approve of Giles murdering Ben; and we are meant to see it as murder. The writers go out of their way to tell us that it's morally wrong, that none of the other Scoobies would support it, and it doesn't even work to achieve Giles's stated goal of keeping Buffy safe: she dies anyway, mere minutes after the murder. By every measure, the show tells us, this is the wrong thing to do. Giles will never bring it up again, not even when he's trying to convince Buffy that she needs him to make hard decisions on her behalf.

So it's kind of infuriating that so much of the fandom insists on reading it as an act of heroism anyway.

It isn't. It isn't at all. If anybody other than one of the protagonists was making this decision -- if it was the Knights trying to kill Dawn to save the world, or the Initiative locking up Oz and treating him like an animal because a few nights a month he turned into a dangerous monster, or the parents of Sunnydale trying to burn teenage witches at the stake to keep their town safe -- there would be no ambiguity about this in the fandom at all. And yet, because it is one of the protagonists -- specifically, because it's the character the fandom has decided to read as Buffy's Dad who only does good things because he loves her -- somehow the normal rules don't apply.

It's not an act of heroism though. The show is right about that, and the fandom is wrong. It's one of the worst things Giles does; a complete betrayal of his promise to Buffy in Season 2 to always offer her his support and respect. It has far more in common with his willingness to drug her and lie to her face about doing so in Helpless or to abandon her in her moment of greatest need in Tabula Rasa than it does with any of Giles (many) moments of actual nobility and self-sacrifice. It's a sign that, fundamentally, Giles does not accept that Buffy has right to make decisions on her own.

Giles knows that, given the choice, Buffy would choose to spare Ben's life. He doesn't believe he could ever convince her to change her mind. And so he takes the choice away from her.

Why would anyone applaud that?

#btvs

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ghostcond · 2 years ago

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i thought itd be really funny if my characters all knew malorn and thought he was ok/cool but he thought they were all Kinda Strange

#DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING.............#i said in my enclosure once “god if it isnt funny to me that my characters know malorn and he probably thinks theyre freaks”#and thats what started this #all of my ocs act a Certain Way (usually as a result of trauma or other reason) and i think this causes them to be percieved as a lil Weird #in addition to the fact that they are Important Responsible Wizards for varying reasons #except for forrest shes actually normal #ghost.txt #posts about my ocs #oc: reed ravenheart #oc: arlen winterbrand #oc: mycin moonshade #oc: nikolai thundercry #oc: forrest fatereaver

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bluecodexs · 9 months ago

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main house makeovers

did i need to do this? no. did i do it for a slight time jump? maybe. anyways it's about 4 years later. excited for a new era, and a lot of new sims will be included in the future so yayyy. (i finally gave them neighbors so time to party)

#sims 4 #simblr #forrest #i wouldve included traits and careers but i don't feel like opening up the game to do it #also myles has like a million fucking traits like omg #also i normally don't put ages to this family but later on it matters #also idk if myles's age is even completely accurate... he might actually be like 40 something but this is all i got #maysims #myles forrest #zion forrest #malik forrest #celeste forrest

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ms-m-astrologer · 7 months ago

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Transiting Pluto enters Aquarius

Tuesday, November 19, 2024 - Sunday, March 8, 2043

The big one. For the next 19 years, welcome Pluto the Water-Bearer! Tremendous shake-ups and disgusting things brought to light, in Aquarius’ areas: air travel, and computers and the Internet, maybe even electricity, with nasty alliances exposed. Remember all those myths about how disgusting things need to be brought into the light, in order to be conquered.

Astrologer Steven Forrest wrote briefly about “When Pluto passes through Aquarius” in The Book of Water:

…we are all invited to heal the soul-sickness created by the cold dissociation that comes from a shocking, overwhelming pace of change or cultural disruption, along with social alienation, both in this time and in previous ones. If we fail to heal, then we become frozen emotionally, cut off from our own hearts, distant from what makes us human.

When writing the weekly forecast I had a flash of insight, “Rugged individualism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and (especially as Pluto enters Aquarius to stay) will become more and more apparent.” Rugged individualism is a Capricorn thing, you know. We’re going to witness the consequences of the last 15 years of Pluto/Capricorn - how “rugged individualism” inevitably leads to “cold dissociation” and “social alienation.”

Back to Steven, this time from The Book of Air, for a somewhat less frightening look at the next 19 years of Pluto the Water-Bearer:

What part of myself now needs a bracing dose of freedom? My relationship with my own Shadow is being re-negotiated. Parts of myself which others have declared to be “bad” - and I believed them - are being rehabilitated now. Other behaviors which were collectively declared to be “fine and normal,” I am now seeing as morally culpable, at least for myself. Essentially, I am switching over to internal guidance in all questions of right and wrong.

What kinds of values best serve my soul at this time? Moral independence. A willingness to look at my own dark side, but to do so from the context of my natural values rather than those arising from any other source. Here are two specific illustrations about this kind of moral re-orientation - although yours will be your own: first, certain religions have tried to make people feel guilty for having sexual feelings. I reject such poisonous stupidity. Second: our culture teaches us that it is fine and natural that animals are to be used and dominated. I reject that kind of poisonous stupidity too.

What happens to me now if I waste that energy? I punish myself for parts of my life where there is no actual reason for guilt, while blinding myself to places where life-force is draining from me, only because it is draining from everyone else in the same way and there is a collective agreement to pretend it is not happening.

Which of your natal houses is Pluto transiting? In the 3rd, you need to be really careful about the information you receive; in the 10th, you’ll be “doing” this visibly and publicly.

FWIW, I don’t think we’re going to see much visible, tangible activity in the wider world until 2026, when the Outer Planets make their final transition into new signs: Saturn and Neptune from Pisces to Aries, and Uranus from Taurus to Gemini. 2025 is for the most part those planets’ transition process; they won’t make an aspect to Pluto until after they’re in their new signs to stay: January 2026 for Neptune/Aries, February 2026 for Saturn/Aries, and April 2026 for Uranus/Gemini. (But more on that in the 2025 Forecasts which I intend to write over my Thanksgiving Break….)

#Astrology #Transiting Pluto enters Aquarius #Ms M astrologer

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12boogaloo · 6 months ago

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Dad! John Dory AU

If you told a teenaged John Dory that he would become a stay at home family man one day, he would’ve laughed in your face and told you that you were insane. And if you told him that he was in therapy to deal with his childhood trauma, he would’ve been confused and probably a little angry that you dared insinuate his childhood was ‘traumatic’. He had a great childhood! He had a roof over his head, food to eat, and amazing little brothers to love, what more could he ask for? (As if that wasn’t the literal bare minimum.)

Thank the Muses for Hickory, honestly. Him and Dickory both are the reason he actually started talking to someone about what he was going through, especially after their oldest son was born. He never realized just how bad it was for him growing up, wanting to believe everything was normal and okay because if he thought it was, then it had to be, right? If he said everything was perfect, then it was perfect. …Right?

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Being forced from a young age to take care of his siblings, putting their needs and wants before his own, essentially being made into a ‘child-parent’ because his own parents weren’t around enough to support him was not okay. It was downright abusive behavior, according to his therapist and his husband. And while John doesn’t fully blame his grandmother for what happened to him, she was already older by the time he came along and wouldn’t have been able to handle five boys alone anyway so he would’ve helped her regardless, he most certainly blames their father. That bastard is the reason he didn’t get to have a childhood.

Forrest Timber was… an asshole, to put it mildly. Musically speaking, he was a genius. His voice was deep and raspy when he sang and he had a talent for guitar, something he seems to have passed on to Floyd. He had dark blue hair, similar to Branch’s, and light blue skin. His eyes were pale blue like John’s own, which he doesn’t know how to feel about, and he had a streak of purple at the front of his hair.

John doesn’t remember much else about Forrest, honestly. Only that he liked to yell and throw things when he got angry, which was pretty much anytime he was home. But their other father, their Papa Ash, he was sweet and kind and John loved him. He tried to protect him when Forrest would rage, comforted him and told him stories about the beautiful mountains he’d seen as a child when he’d been traveling with his birth family, and tried his best to take care of him. Grandma Rosiepuff adopted Ash after he turned up at the tree as a teenager and based on his features and the posh accent John remembers him having, he was some kind of Rock Troll. His skin was dark gray and his hair was neon green and very big and curly. John remembers it used to actually glow in the darkness of the closet he’d hide himself and John in when Forrest got drunk and wanted to hit something. (He’d usually either give up looking for them and leave to find something else to take his aggression out on or he’d punch a hole in the wall then drink until he passed out on the kitchen floor. That happened at least once a week until John Dory was about two, before Spruce came along and before Ash started finding ways to keep Forrest out of the house and away from them.)

John still remembers the day Ash brought him to their grandmas pod when he was three, a purple and blue egg in his hair. He still remembers the quiet, rushed conversation Ash had with Rosiepuff while John played in the living room pretending he couldn’t hear them. He remembers the tears in his Papa’s glowing pink eyes as he set Spruce’s egg in his arms and kissed his forehead before he said ‘goodbye’ and the sound of his own sobbing when he realized he wasn’t going to see him again. Rosiepuff explained it when he was older, how Ash had convinced Forrest to leave the tree with him to go on a music tour and how he planned to stay with that bastard so he could keep him from going back and hurting John or the eggs. (Apparently the bros weren’t part of the plan, and Ash would bring their eggs back to the tree to prevent Forrest from smashing them. Sick bastard.)

John Dory knew Ash was just trying to protect them and he will always be grateful to him for putting himself in danger for them to be safe. But a small part of him, the part that’s still a scared little kid, is still a little angry at him for leaving him to raise his brothers the way he did. It wasn’t his intention, and John is sure Ash thought Rosiepuff was taking care of them in his stead. He couldn’t have known she would leave him alone with the eggs for hours on end while she gambled the days away, losing most of the retirement money she had in the process and forcing John to have to drop out of school at twelve so he could work. But that doesn’t mean it was okay. Intentions only mean so much when the outcome was as bad as it was.

But, intentional or no, a large part of John Dory’s perfectionism stemmed from the stress of everything. Hell, his hair started going gray at fifteen because of how much stress he was under! The other part of it was his undiagnosed OCD. He obsessed over little things, starting small with his own stuff having to be organized in very specific ways, which slowly spread to the rest of the house and then to every aspect of his brothers lives. The band added more to it, causing his brain to go into overdrive with paranoia because they had to stay popular or else they’d be put back on the menu. That was the whole reason he made the band besides needing the money. After all, a happy Troll is a tasty Troll. And if they made the other Trolls happy, they got to stay alive.

The first thing John realized was that if they dressed the same and stood out enough, they’d be easily marked as ‘off limits’ come Trollstice, which is why he was so strict about how they all dressed, himself included. He didn’t want to constantly wear his goggles and puffy vest, but it made him easy to pick out in a crowd so he put up with it. This eventually led to him finding more and more things to control.

Then he overheard the King discussing an escape plan with some of the adults one night at a party for Princess Viva, who was friends with his brother at the time. Clay loved hanging out with her and John was only a year older than she was so they got along really well too and she’d invited them and their other brothers to her birthday party, thankfully a smaller affair in the royal pod with just a few friends.

He overheard Peppy talking to someone while he was looking for a snack to give to Spruce, he was worried about him skipping meals again, and heard him mention the ‘perfect family harmony’. He said it was strong enough to shatter any material, including steel and even diamonds. He wanted to find a group that could achieve it so they could break the cage around their tree and escape. That immediately had John hooked and he stayed and listened to the King’s plans so he knew what to do. He’d try to get his brothers to do the harmony so they could all escape.

That stupid fucking harmony was the worst thing to ever happen to John’s family. He became fucking obsessed with the damn thing, refusing to give up trying to do it even when his brothers complained. He had to do it, he promised himself he’d do whatever he had to to protect his brothers and this would save them all. It had to work, it had to, it had to.

It’s taken many years of therapy, but John is proud to be where he’s at now, all things considered. He has an amazing husband that loves him despite all of his faults and tendency to color coordinate literally everything, a great brother-in-law and an awesome sister-in-law to keep them all on track, and a large family like he’d always dreamed of. One would think he wouldn’t want to have his own kids after how he was raised but he loves his babies more than literally anything in the world and is more than happy being a stay-at-home dad most of the time. Aside from his yearly hiking trips to the Neverglade Trail and monthly visits to Lonesome Flats, he rarely leaves the mountain village he’s called home for the last two decades. Not that he minds. He’s grown to love the eternal winter and beautiful landscape around their cabin and their kids love it too, being half Yodel Trolls.

Christopher James is the oldest of the bunch, usually going by ‘CJ’ or just Christopher. He looks the most like JD with his curly teal hair held back by John’s old orange goggles, though usually kept shorter in style like Hickory’s, cyan skin, and sky blue eyes. He turned nineteen a few months before the whole Rock Apocalypse thing happened. His boyfriend was part of Barb’s crew and John still laughs when he thinks about how angry and smitten CJ was when he saw Riff on that stage. John wasn’t there, thankfully, since he was still home with the younger kids away from that mess while CJ and Dolly had been visiting the Rock capital to see their friends, and Dolly totally snitched to him about how ‘lovestruck and stupid’ Christopher looked when he saw Riff playing his kit. He chased her around the house for an hour after that, much to John’s amusement.

Now, Riff is a very talented drummer, so John gets why Barb would’ve wanted him in her crew. Him and CJ are a total ‘power couple’, according to their friends from high school. They’ve known each other their whole lives, having met in elementary school when they were little, and started dating when Christopher was thirteen and Riff was fourteen and have been ride-or-die ever since. Hickory pretended to be all huffy and pissy when they first got together to put up a ‘protective dad’ front, but now that it’s been nearly seven years of watching their sappy teenage romance grow and evolve, he’s started betting with John and Dickory on when they’ll get married. He thinks it’ll be in the next few years, maybe after Riff finishes college, and Dickory said six months which earned him a punch to the shoulder. John thinks they’ll just elope without telling anyone on a random day, and that’s actually way more likely than Hickory probably thinks. (Don’t tell them John Dory said anything, though, he’s been sworn to secrecy.)

Their second oldest son, Doc, is definitely the smart one in the family. At seventeen, he’s also the tallest of his siblings and taller than John himself. His hair is long and dark green, usually kept tied back into a braid, and his eyes, mostly hidden by his glasses, are light green like Hickory’s along with his fur. He’s a total bookworm and loves fantasy stories and history books especially. While CJ ended up inheriting John’s dyslexia, Doc somehow has the opposite situation and has an almost photographic memory. (John’s pretty sure he’s also autistic since he has a lot of the same traits that Clay had like his sensitivity to loud noises and certain textures. He’s also very literal sometimes, not catching sarcasm or jokes in conversations, but he’s also aware of it enough that he doesn’t miss stuff as often as he used to.)

Dolly is their middle child at fifteen. She was a sweet, kind little girl growing up with fiery reddish-orange curls usually kept in pigtails and green eyes like her older brother. As a tween and teen, however, she’d been in this weird ‘emo-phase’ that John didn’t fully understand. It reminds him of Floyd when he started wearing darker clothes and dark makeup and listening to really emotional music. (He was a little worried at first when he noticed Dolly acting the same way but after talking to her a little bit, it turned out she was more attracted to the aesthetic then the emotional aspects, though she admitted that she had a few issues with depression and they got her into therapy for that.) Apparently, she was super curious after she heard one of the songs Riff and CJ made with a group of classmates and got a makeover from one of their female Rock Troll friends to try it out. She ended up loving the style change and started wearing black and dark colors almost exclusively and has for over five years now. John jokes that the rare occasions she wears an ‘actual color’ are like cryptid sightings, which she finds embarrassing and totally ‘not rock’n’roll’. Little shit.

Now, Rosie, full name ‘Rosanna Maria‘, is the second youngest and a total girly girl, unlike her sister. She also has fiery red hair but her eyes are light pink instead of blue or green and her fur is a darker turquoise. At ten years old, she’s already a strong little devil and John feels immense pride when he sees her stand up for herself. She’s been raised like Dolly to believe nobody was aloud to push her around and it’s already lead to her getting into quite a few fights at school; mostly Rosie kicking some other kid’s ass because they’d been picking on her or someone else and she just wanted to help. Hickory taught her how to punch people for self defense like the rest of their children, but Rosie is surprisingly strong for a small child and her hits can really hurt if she’s not careful. And despite her pretty pink princess-y style, she absolutely loves playing in the dirt and climbing trees. Hickory cried when she gave him a literal mud-pie when she was three and John still makes fun of him for it like he didn’t also sob his heart out when she gave him one on his own birthday that same year. (Shut up, you’d cry too.)

Finally, there’s the twins. Birch and Ross are six currently, Birch’s hair is sapphire blue and his skin is the same blueish shade as his three older siblings while Ross has red hair and pale green skin like Doc’s. Their eyes are the same shade of light blue, though, matching John Dory’s perfectly. While they’re very different in terms of looks, they’re alike in almost every other way. Both boys love pulling pranks on their siblings and parents, Birch having an affinity for building little contraptions and Ross being the trickster that thinks of fun things for him to make. (They don’t talk about the miniature glitter bomb incident and John will continue to keep it that way, thank you. He’s still finding bits of neon yellow glitter in their carpet to this day and it’s been almost two years. ‘Craft-world herpes’, as Dickory likes the call it.)

The boys also have this habit of speaking in unison or finishing each other’s sentences, which John admits can be a tiny bit freaky sometimes. Especially when they’re holding hands and asking questions while dressed the same. It’s a little too similar to the creepy twins from that one movie CJ loves to watch on Halloween. He better not’ve shown it to them, or he’s so grounded.

Weirdness aside, John Dory loves his family so much. His children are the most precious things he’s ever had a hand in creating and he’s grateful everyday that he gets to raise them into the amazing young adults they’re going to become. And he’s so, so happy that he can actually be there for them the way his parents weren’t for him and his brothers. He vowed the day he found Christopher’s egg in his hair that he would do everything in his power to be a good father and Hickory has always been an amazing help along the way.

John met Hickory and Dickory on the Neverglade Trail about eight months after he’d left the tree when he was eighteen. He’d been hiking higher and higher up the mountain despite not having the right supplies for the weather, and they found him tucked underneath a tree root where he had passed out from both hypothermia and starvation, having not eaten in two weeks. Hickory was only a year younger than John and while Dickory had originally planned to leave him to his fate, which John doesn’t really blame him for since they had no clue who he was or where he came from, Hick was adamant that they at least try to help him, especially once he realized John was also injured, one of his hands burned and dripping blood. They ended up dragging him to their family cabin, passed down from their parents after their deaths a decade before, to try to warm and patch him up.

It took a few days for John to fully wake up and the first thing he saw was a cute redheaded boy replacing the damp cloth on his forehead as he lay on a soft couch in front of a fireplace, wrapped in blankets. Unable to control his mouth because of the high fever he had, John had said something about how Hickory was the ‘cutest nurse he’d ever seen’, which made the younger boy blush bright red and scramble to the kitchen to get him some soup. He kept saying embarrassing shit the entire time he was awake that morning and when Dickory overheard his horrible attempts at flirting, he was both peeved and highly amused by his little brother getting all flustered.

Thankfully, John Dory was much more coherent the following day and was able to properly thank the two for helping him. And apologize for making Hickory uncomfortable, though the younger boy was quick to reassure him that it hadn’t made him uncomfortable by any means and that he was actually flattered that John thought he was cute, which in turn made John a stuttering, blushing mess.

Unfortunately, it turned out that John’s left hand was permanently damaged. The second degree burns on his hand and forearm where from when he’d tried to light a fire in a cave a few weeks prior and accidentally fell into it when he was fixing the small tinder pile he’d made because he passed out from a lack of nutrients, and the cave ended up collapsing the next day which is why he was out in the blizzard. He’d actually ended up burning his leg as well because of the angle of the fall and had a limp for weeks after, the injury hidden under the jeans he was wearing when he was found. Thankfully, he was able to get help with both his limp and his hand and only ended up with slight limitations in how much he can lift because of the physical therapy the village doctor showed him, but it took a long time for him to get there, since burns and hand injuries heal much slower and trickier. When asked about where he would be staying since he was going to need support during the rest of his recovery, Hickory hastily announced that he was staying with them for the time being, much to both John Dory and Dickory’s shock. John hadn’t expected them to continue hosting him after the initial few days, not wanting to continue mooching off of them, and was extremely surprised by Hickory’s declaration. And while Dickory had planned on asking John if he wanted to stick around for a little longer to get fully back on his feet, he certainly hadn’t expected Hickory to do it for him like that.

When they asked about it a few months later, Hick sheepishly admitted that he really didn’t want John Dory to leave and spoke without thinking because he panicked. But it worked out! John agreed to stay with them for the next few months to recover and rehabilitate his hand and leg, so long as he could do something to pay them back. Dickory refused to take any money from the kid, despite how much John insisted he had more than enough to pay him at least some rent, so he offered to clean around the house instead and Dick agreed after a bit of convincing.

At first, things were a bit weird at the cabin. Dickory still teases them for being so awkward the entire first week and how obvious it was that they liked each other but they wouldn’t say anything because they were both convinced the other didn’t feel the same way. They’d only known each other for a few days, anyway, and despite John’s previous attempts at flirting while woozy from a fever, he was way too chicken to actually say anything even remotely smooth to Hickory’s face after that. Of course the first time he hit on a cute guy, he was barely cognizant. God, he had never been so embarrassed in his life.

Hick wasn’t much better, though he found it funny to watch John get so flustered around him after he’d made the younger blush like a tomato that first day. It was really cute, especially when he’d try to flirt a little bit and JD would squeak and run away like a scared mouse. There’s a reason Hickory still calls him ‘Mäuschen’ to this very day.

From John’s perspective, though, he was just pathetic. It took over a month of him living with them for the two teens to actually talk without one of them finding an excuse to leave the room because of nerves. (Usually John Dory because he was a coward.)

It took a while but after the initial awkwardness started to wear off and they started to actually talk and become friends, John told him about what happened with his brothers. It had been almost a full year since he left the tree and the guilt was literally eating him alive. And after Hickory and his brother opened up to him about their ‘real jobs’ as bounty hunters (though Hickory was still technically being trained and he couldn’t go on any bounties by himself), he told Hickory everything. All of it, from the relationship he had with his parents and grandmother(who wasn’t mean to him by any means but wasn’t the best when it came to raising him or helping him), to raising his brothers mostly on his own and the band and why he did what he did. He’d had plenty of time to realize how much he screwed up and leaving the tree was the biggest regret he’d ever had. But he didn’t think he deserved to go back. He didn’t deserve to be part of their lives anymore, no matter how much he missed them and desperately wanted to see them all again. His brothers were better off without him there to boss them around and it was better that he was alone. He couldn’t hurt anyone if he was alone.

Hickory hated listening to John talk about himself that way and tried to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault he’d been so obsessed with things. While he hadn’t been there and wasn’t an older sibling himself, he completely understood that John was just doing what he thought he had to in order to survive and keep his family alive. “You didn’t have any other choice, Mäuschen. You did your best with what you had, that’s not your fault. You were hurting and didn’t have anyone to help you.”

“But I hurt them! I told my perfect, amazing, talented babies that they weren’t good enough as themselves because I wasn’t good enough for them!” John had cried, tears streaming down his face. “Just ‘cause I was having a shitty time doesn’t mean I should’ve treated them like crap. I don’t deserve to be in their lives, Hick. They’re better off without me.” His ears had drooped so low and his colors had actually started dulling as he spoke, which worried Hickory almost as much as John’s hiccuping sobs. “God, I’m a monster.” He mumbled under his breath, “I should’ve just died in that stupid blizzard.”

Hickory, not having any of that nonsense, immediately pulled John Dory into his lap to hold him against his chest, rocking them back and forth as John continued to cry his heart out into his shirt. “Liebling, you did not deserve to die because you made mistakes! Don’t you dare say that.” He pulled John’s face up and cupped his cheek with a stern expression. “Your brothers were lucky to have you as their caretaker, and I know that if they knew how hard it was for you, they would all welcome you back with open arms. You were hurting, Johnny, and had nobody to turn to. You didn’t mean to do or say any of the things you did, and I will not let you say those horrible things about yourself.” He rested their foreheads together. “Nobody is allowed to bad talk my Mäuschen, Liebling. That includes you.” That sent John into a stuttering and blushing meltdown, making him hide his face in Hickory’s chest as the Yodeler held him even closer. His tail slowly started wagging as Hickory began purring softly to comfort him, the soft curly hair on the end brushing Hickory’s legs. Before they realized it, they’d both fallen asleep like that, Hickory curled around John protectively and holding him to his chest.

That’s how Dickory found them a few hours later, still cuddling in John’s bed where they’d curled up, and couldn’t bring himself to wake and separate them. He simply covered them with a blanket and turned out the lights to let them get some more sleep. (He owed Delta a visit anyway. She won their bet and he owed her dinner from that one place she liked.)

Unsurprisingly, JD and Hickory finally started dating not long after that, over four months after John first showed up outside of their village. They were together for a year before they got engaged when John was nineteen and Hickory was eighteen. (And yeah, it was Hickory that asked John first.) They only invited Hickory’s brother and Delta along with a few of their friends and family as witnesses for the wedding, wanting to keep it small and private. Everything was going according to plan but then John found CJ’s little blue and green egg in his hair the night before the ceremony. He showed it to Hickory early the next morning because he didn’t want to keep it from him and had been absolutely terrified of his reaction. They hadn’t talked about kids at all before that point and John was honestly scared that Hickory wouldn’t want to stay with him after he knew about the egg. Thankfully, Hickory was more than ecstatic to be a father which made John feel so much better about the whole thing. The ceremony went on as planned and they told Dickory about it afterwards at the reception. The image of the usually stoic bounty hunter bouncing around like an excited toddler at the news of him becoming an uncle is one of John Dory’s favorite memories.

CJ was a chubby, smiley little baby, always laughing and giggling. John loved having him ride around in his hair like Bitty B used to do. And it was thinking about how much he missed when Bitty was that tiny that he realized he needed to go back. After speaking to his therapist, who he’d been seeing for over six months, he decided to finally go back home. He had to wait until CJ was a little older, and he couldn’t stay with them forever, of course, but he needed to at least visit and try to talk to his brothers and apologize. Hopefully they’d be willing to at least hear him out.

John waited until after CJ’s second birthday before going back to the Troll Tree. He decided to go alone, leaving CJ and Hickory mostly by themselves since Dickory was visiting Lonesome with Delta the next day. They both promised to behave and John didn’t believe their bullshit, knowing from experience just how mischievous his husband and son could get, but simply rolled his eyes and kissed both of them goodbye before he left. (Dickory decided to be an ass and ask where his goodbye kisses were as John was walking out the door and JD proceeded pick up one of his slippers that was by the doorway and threw it at him to smack him on the forehead while Delta just laughed at her stupid fiancé being an idiot.)

It took over a week to hike all the way from the Hinterland mountains all the way back north to Bergentown. He entered the gates in the dead of night so he could sneak under the cover of darkness, making it to the cage just as the sun started rising. He remembers standing there and staring at the tree in horror, the branches bare of any leaves or life and the soil around its roots dug up and torn to shreds with giant shoves and pick-axes abandoned in the grass. Pods were ripped apart and scattered around its base, clothes and other personal items left behind to rot in the elements.

Icy terror filled John in that moment and he bolted for his family’s pod, ‘please not them, please not them, PLEASE NOT THEM’ repeating in his head over and over again until he found it, right where it was last time he was there. The door had been ripped off of its hinges like a Bergen tried to look for someone inside, giant claw marks all over the walls and floors. Picture frames barely hung from their hooks on the walls, most of them scattered on the floor in pieces along with most of the trinkets Rosiepuff used to keep on shelves. He checked each room, hoping and praying that he was wrong, that his brothers were just hiding somewhere, that he hadn’t been too late.

He hadn’t realized it at the time, too frantic and scared to notice anything beyond the destruction around him, but his colors had begun to fade as soon as he saw the tree in ruins. When he couldn’t find anyone in the pod, his heart shattered to pieces and all he remembers is crumbling to the floor in his and his brothers old room, clutching Branch’s stuffed caterpillar to his chest as he sobbed. His colors completely disappeared, leaving him gray with grief, but he couldn’t care less about that. Not when he knew his family was gone. He hadn’t been there to protect them, it was his fault they were dead. He killed them, he killed them, he killed them! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN HIM!!

John didn’t know how long he lay there, curled up on the ugly old rug in his old room. (John Dory hated that stupid fucking rug growing up. Rosiepuff had picked it out years ago and him and his brothers hated it because of the weird pinkish-yellow color. In that moment, though, it was the most comfortable thing in the world to him.) It could’ve been days for all he knew. But the sound of thundering footsteps reminded him exactly where he was and he panicked as he realized the Bergens were waking up. In a haze, John grabbed as many mementos as he could carry in his pack, even taking things out to make more room, before he snuck back out of the pod and ran for the gates.

The fact he didn’t get caught was a minor miracle and he doesn’t remember what happened after that, really. The hike back home was a complete blur, his brain staying in survival mode so he wouldn’t break down in the middle of the wilderness. He paid no mind to his dulled skin and vision, all of the color around him losing its vibrancy like he lost his own. He ignored how hungry he was, how thirsty and tired he was, because all he could focus on was getting away. Getting back home, back to safety.

The next time John remembered being aware of anything around him, he was standing in front of the cabin door as Hickory opened it. He’d immediately become extremely concerned and tried to ask what happened, and without being able to hold it back any longer, John Dory broke down right there. His wailing sobs were loud enough that Dickory heard him from inside and when he came running to see JD on their porch sobbing and colorless in Hickory’s arms, barely able to stand, they both carried him inside and to their bedroom to lay him down. He cried for hours, clinging to his husband desperately as Hickory and Dickory both tried their best to comfort him.

It took all night for John to calm down enough to tell them what happened. Hickory, horrified by what John had found, held him close as he continued to cry into his chest. He eventually passed out from exhaustion and probably dehydration, tears still streaming down his face as Hickory played with his hair. It had turned pitch black and went limp and useless after his colors fully faded, his curls ratty and tangled from his nonstop journey back. Thankfully, Hickory was more than willing to detangle it, his fingers gently carding through it so he wouldn’t wake John up and putting it into a simple braid. (Losing the ability to use his hair was the biggest challenge later on, though John got used to it over time. He still tried to teach his kids how to use their own hair if they could. Dolly and Doc’s hair is more like Hickory’s and they can’t stretch it like Rosie and CJ can but they did get the ability to change the color at will. It definitely made for interesting games of hide-and-seek.)

Dickory got ahold of Delta at some point that night and she offered to watch Christopher for a few days while John got some rest and tried to start processing his grief. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him after such a huge loss, but she knew he needed as much support as they could give him. She also recommended a few things they could do to make him physically comfortable, knowing his grayness was likely going to make him both sensitive and closed-off emotionally. She was so helpful and supportive and John means it when he says he loves that woman. Honestly, if he wasn’t gay as fuck and married, he would’ve probably tried to steal her from Dickory years ago.

After a few days of comforting cuddles and reassurances from both Hickory and his brother, John asked to see CJ. Being gone for over two weeks already had him eager to see his son again, as he hadn’t ever been away from him for that long. And even though he was still very fragile and weepy, he needed to see his baby.

So Delta brought Christopher home, the two year old excited to see his daddy after being apart for so long. John immediately burst into tears when CJ ran up to his bedside after Delta put him down by the door and he climbed up to cuddle with him under the many fuzzy blankets. John held him in his arms for a long time, kissing his forehead and rocking them back and forth.

At one point CJ pulled away enough to place both paws on John’s cheeks, a tiny frown on his adorable little face. “Why Dada sad?”

John had whimpered and pulled CJ back into his embrace. “Dada found out something bad about his family and he’s hurtin’, bubba,” Hickory’s voice spoke softly, the newish twang coming through. (He’d figured out that he was more comfortable as a Country Troll a year before that after he’d gone undercover for a hunt and John loved hearing how the newer accent sounded with Hickory’s deep voice.) He was still sitting nearby for support, rubbing John’s back as he shook. “He’s sad because he lost your uncles. That’s why we gotta help him feel better.”

CJ frowned more at that and looked up at John with determination in his eyes. “I help!” He then curled up against John’s chest, hugging him as tightly as his little arms could manage. “Papa and me love you lots an’ lots, an’ so does Uncle D and Auntie!” He looked up at John with big watery eyes. “Please don’ be sad, Dada. I know that uncles love you too and they wou’n’t wan’ you to be sad, neither.”

John had promptly burst into tears and snuggled CJ even closer. He’d always kept his brothers as a part of his life, even if he wasn’t contacting them, and told CJ stories all the time since he wanted his son to know his family. The fact that he said that made John Dory feel so, so much better in that moment. It didn’t fix anything, of course it hadn’t. But his son trying to reassure him that his brothers loved him and wouldn’t want him to be upset about their deaths helped kickstart his healing. (And he wasn’t the only one crying that day, Hickory and Delta both tearing up at the toddler’s declarations. Even Dickory’s eyes got all misty, though he’d never admit it.)

It definitely wasn’t easy after that. John tried to take everything day-by-day, tried to continue living, and for the most part, he succeeded. He got pregnant with Doc not long after the incident, and he was grieving but was still so happy to be having another baby (even if the new set of aches and cravings were a pain in the ass). He found Rhonda as a baby while on a solo hike a few years after that when Dolly was a toddler and raised her too like she was his own. Rosie was next and John chuckled for the first time in years when Hickory complained about his headaches the entire time he carried her in his hair until she detached. (John had the rest of their eggs but Hickory wanted to do it at least once to make it ‘a little more fair’. He definitely didn’t enjoy it as much as John did, that’s for sure.) John carried Ross and Birch after that mess.

John couldn’t bring himself to sing for a very long time after his return to the Troll Tree. He couldn’t listen to his brothers voices without crying and refused to listen to their albums and songs for months. CJ loved their songs since John had listened to them with him since he was an egg, and he’d sing them to try and cheer John Dory up. Surprisingly, it actually helped a lot. He was able to slowly work up to listening to their music again thanks to Christopher’s voice.

It took years of therapy and time. So, so much time. But after almost fourteen years of pain and grief and colorless existence, John’s color coming back was a total shock. He’d been gray for so long by that point that he honestly forgot what it was like to be colorful. He got them back in the most unexpected way, too.

One night, not long after the twins had hatched, John was walking the halls on another late-night safety check to make sure the windows were locked and the stove was off. Again. (OCD can really go fuck itself, honestly.) And he checked their room last because it was the closest to his own. Both boys were fast asleep in their cribs and when John got closer to look at them, he saw that Birch had a caterpillar plush in his chubby little arms.

‘Hick must’ve gotten it out of storage.’ John thought, his eyes watering a little bit. The old green plush was clutched tightly in Birch’s little paws and for a split second, he looked exactly like Branch did when he was a baby. “Oh, I bet B would be so jealous right now,” he whispered, trying not to wake them as he gently played with Birch’s little toes. “You found Kroco, huh, bud? That thing’s older than your brothers and sisters, you know.” He remembers making it for Branch after he’d hatched and smiles softly. “You’re Uncle Branch was obsessed with that thing. I think he’d fight you for it if he could see you drooling on it like that.”

Birch squirmed a little bit but didn’t wake up, and John shushed him lightly, squeezing his feet reassuringly. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, baby. You can keep Kroco, Itsy Bitsy. I think Branch would understand.” He realized what he’d called him and instead of the guilt he expected, it felt right to call Birch that. It was a nickname he’d used for Branch when he was a baby, before they came up with ‘Bitty B’ as his stage name. He’d been avoiding using similar nicknames for his kids until that moment and was surprised at how okay he was with it.

A little overwhelmed, John sniffled and tried to compose himself a little bit. “My little Itsy Bitsy. I love you so much, bud.” He kissed Birch’s forehead softly, stopping to kiss Ross’s too. “Love you too, Rossy Flossy.”

John quickly snuck back out into the hall and cried into his hands for a while. Afterwards, feeling drained and exhausted, he pulled himself together enough to make his way back to bed and cuddled against his husband as he fell back asleep. He woke up that next morning with a headache, mumbling about how bright it was and complaining into Hickory’s chest. He’d gotten up after about thirty minutes, reluctant to leave Hickory in their warm bed but needing to brush his teeth, and ignored how weirdly light his hair felt. It hadn’t regained it’s gravity defying quality in all the years he’d been gray so he usually kept it braided back when he slept but doesn’t remember doing it the night before so it was probably just tangled as hell. He’d have to wash it and detangle with that fancy comb thing Delta gave him.

JD stumbled into their bathroom and yawned as he turned on the light so he could see. He then looked in the mirror and gasped when he saw his reflection. His hair was standing up, curly as ever and bright teal with grays that weren’t there before, and his eyes, which had been silver for over a decade, were sky blue like they were when he was younger. His skin was light cyan instead of pale gray and he could actually see just how brightly colored his pajamas were, the neon orange pants and purple t-shirt clashing so badly he actually laughed for a second. “Holy shit, who picked this out? Even my taste isn’t this bad.” Then it really hit him like a truck that his fucking colors were back. And he screamed. “AHHHH!!!”

Hickory had just woken up as well and was used to John’s grumpy morning muttering so he’d rolled back over to go back to sleep. But when he quickly sat up at John Dory’s screaming and looked at his husband where he was standing in the bathroom doorway, he literally fell out of their bed in shock.

John let out a laugh then covered his mouth. He hadn’t actually laughed in years, only chuckling softly on occasion, and suddenly he can barely contain his giggles as his husband cursed and struggled with their sheets and blankets. “Babe, you’re such an idiot, holy crap. Hold on, let me help.” He went over and helped Hickory, smiling wider as he rested his paws on his hips once he was freed. “You are so lucky I’m patient, good God.”

Shaking himself after his fall, Hickory stared in disbelief seeing John’s beautiful blues staring right back at him. “Johnny, what- You- Holy fuck!” He’d missed those eyes so fucking much that he didn’t care about the fact that he was still in just his boxers as he jumped up from the sheet pile on the floor and tackled John in a hug, lifting and spinning him around and making John laugh loudly. It had been so, so long since he’d heard John Dory’s laugh outside of the occasional soft chuckle and Hickory had to stop himself from crying. “Oh my God, I missed that sound. You sound like bells! My little blue bell.”

“Oh, shut- No, you are not using that again,” John groaned, his face flushed as he laughed harder.

“Wow…” Hickory whispered. John’s giggles died down a little as he put him back in his feet, Hick looking at him with this almost mesmerized expression. “You look so pretty.” John blushed even more and Hickory chuckled. “I forgot how pink you get. You look like a little bucket o’ those fancy blueberries you like.”

John smacked him lightly, blush deepening. “Fuck off, oh my God.”

“Dad! Dad, are you o-kay…?” John’s screams had alerted Dolly, Doc, Rosie, and Christopher who all came running to see what happened and all of them gasped seeing John’s colorful appearance. “Dad!?” Doc whispered again, his eyes wide. He was holding Ross who looked even more confused than he did.

Rosie gasped, showing off her missing front tooth, and squealed. “Daddy looks so pretty!” She even started bouncing on her toes in excitement, making the pink tutu she wore bounce with her.

Dolly was covering her mouth and started tearing up. “Holy crap- what- what happened?”

CJ looked like he was going to cry too. He was the only kid old enough to remember what John looked like before, at least outside of a few pictures from back then, and seeing him so bright again was making his own eyes water. He had Birch in his arms, perched on his hip, and he looked extra curious about what had everyone so emotional.

John gasped too seeing them, their own greens, blues, and oranges so much more vibrant than he was used to. “Oh my God.” He pulled away from Hickory as he looked each of them over, taking in the details of his children he hadn’t seen before as he tried really hard not to cry. Doc’s hair was brighter than he thought, more evergreen than dark pine green, Dolly’s orange curls were slightly darker than Hick’s, Christopher’s fur was more greenish-cyan than he remembered, and Rosie’s outfit was probably five different shades of pink, good God, who dressed her? The toddler ran up to him and John couldn’t help but laugh as he picked her up and spun her around, much like Hick had done to him. “You’re all so bright! Look at you, oh my gosh!”

“You can see our colors now?” Doc asked. He seemed nervous but also excited.

John chuckled then shifted Rosie to one side and offered his paw to his second oldest, grinning when the teen immediately latched onto him. “Yep. And you’re greener than I expected, beanstalk.” Doc looked unamused and John snickered. “I knew that nickname was perfect!”

Then he noticed the dark red streak in Dolly’s fringe and gasped again. “Wait, Dolly, did you dye your fucking hair?! When did you do that?!” CJ and Doc both started laughing hysterically as Dolly stammered and Hickory just rolled his eyes as John started interrogating her.

Then Dickory came running into the room, half dressed and barely awake with a machete in his hand. “I heard screaming, what happened?!” He stumbled when he saw John Dory and stared in disbelief, dropping the machete. “Heilige Scheiße.”

“Dickory Louise Bauer, stop that yellin’! It is too damn early for you to be that loud.” Delta came in behind him looking equally sleepy and irritated at his volume until she saw John and gasped, her eyes widening. “Holy hell, Johnny, what- how- when did you-” She stuttered for a few seconds before huffing and stamping her hooves before walking back out of the room, muttering to herself, “I ain’t had enough coffee yet for this shit.”

Rosie giggled as John just rolled his eyes and chuckled at his sister-in-law’s reaction. Dickory was still staring at him and John had raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Dickory narrowed his eyes and stared for another few seconds before he huffed. “I forgot how obnoxious you looked. Viel zu hell.” He dodged the pillow John threw at him and bolted back out the door while shouting about ‘elder abuse’. John ran after him, still holding Rosie as she giggled up a storm, and the rest of the kids followed excitedly, leaving Hickory alone in their bedroom with a fond smile on his face.

Of course, it wasn’t all easygoing after his colors came back, either. He’d been gray for so long that he was still prone to have depressive thoughts and still opted to continue going to therapy for that, but his bad days were definitely not as often as before. There were days where he’d gray out again for seemingly nothing and he’d be in a bad place for a few days, but Hickory was always there to help, along with all of his kids. John’s colors did dim just a bit during the week after they returned, which made him panic at first thinking that he’d done something wrong. But his therapist reassured him that it was normal for grayed Trolls to be slightly duller once their colors returned. The only signs of John’s grayness nowadays are the streaks of black in his hair, certain strands scarred forever, and his skin dulling to a slightly gray-ish cyan blue, but that could all be attributed to the Rock Troll in them too.

He knew that he wouldn’t ever stop grieving for his brothers. John had accepted that a long, long time ago. But with his family by his side, both found and gained, he knew that he was strong enough to keep going. Besides. He’ll see them again one day.

Hopefully not for a while, though. He’s got future grandkids to spoil.

IM NOT DEAD YALL WHATS GOOOOOD

lol no but fr it’s been a hot minute since I’ve uploaded literally anything here (hi how yall doin 👉🏻👉🏻*tries to wink but ends up blinking instead*) and I am so happy to be back

Hope y’all like this little AU, I’ve been trying to get back into the groove with writing since my mental heath took a nosedive in June 🫠 I already put this up on AO3 so y’all can check it out there too lol and I’ll be trying to write more for this soon so keep an eye out

Love y’all and see y’all next time! (AND HAPPY NEW YEAR)

~ Boog

#trolls band together #trolls john dory #trolls #hickdory

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