#and he doesn't take late work. sometimes!!! he doesn't even take in incorrect work!!!

[scribbyizhere]

"Why didn't you turn in your work"

maybe, I don't know, because the teacher didn't tell me when or what was due 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: May 3

2019

Pride [david/patrick, G, 2,162] by Thechargingsky

David has his reasons why he doesn't want to go to Pride, but knows Patrick wants to go. Part of being in love is doing things for the ones you love, right?

Rings [david/patrick, T, 1,594] by togglefrog

Patrick has to find a way to get his hands on David’s rings without arousing suspicion. That shouldn’t be hard, because David is somehow the most oblivious person on Earth when it comes to this sort of thing. Ft. Stevie, a Party Girl™

Your Wings Prepare to Fly [david/patrick, E, 35,002] by @icmezzo

Wings on a human? Incorrect. David Rose had them anyway, at least sometimes. But given that he loathed them all the time, with every luxuriously moisturized cell in his body, he did whatever it took to keep them hidden away. It hadn’t even been particularly difficult—at least, not until Patrick Brewer started looking.

2020

[podfic] Snuggle [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @distractivate @olive2read

Patrick is determined to win the laundry standoff...

For the Sake of Proficiency [david & stevie, E, 1,792] by VieLeGuerre

He walked out of the bathroom and saw her sitting casually at the table, still in her jeans and flannel, one foot on the ground and the other up on the opposite chair. She raised her eyebrows at him and took another sip from the longneck in her hand. “You done?” she asked, deadpan with notes of impatience and appreciation. He cocked an eyebrow and raised his jaw, looking through his lashes down at her. She took in all that face, all that skin. He always looked so beautiful.

Into Dust [david/patrick, M, 911] by @wi22iou

Patrick and Twyla sing a poignant song relating to The Handmaid's Tale Season 3 finale to help them process. It gets emotional.

Rainy heart [david/patrick, G, 1,424] by @msarahv

Sometimes, a rainy days occurs. Sometimes it passes. But one is never the same.

stars shining bright above you [david & stevie, G, 1,139] by @hullomoon

Sometimes it's easier to have heartfelt conversations when it's dark out.

The 3 Times David had a “Moment” and the 1 Time it Wasn’t David [david/patrick, T, 6,267] by Its_Me_Sb

Everyone is well aware of David’s many instances of dramatics as a result of a stressful or overwhelming situation, and every time Patrick is there to make it better. But everyone has their moments. OR The three time David lets stress get to the better of him, and the one time Patrick has a bit of an overwhelming day himself.

this is a place where i feel at home [david/patrick, G, 1,458] by @mariss-ugh

They try not to be home this late on Tuesdays, but they’ve been putting in extra hours the past month working on their five-year plan. With their wedding and moving into their house behind them, they’ve decided to focus on building out their business.

Vanquished [david/patrick, G, 3,594] by @codswalloping

Patrick absolutely refuses to be sick on Christmas Eve.

we'll take the world together [alexis & david, M, 6,244] by @landofsonlali

5 times David takes care of Alexis and 1 time Alexis takes care of him

Young at Heart [david/patrick, E, 46,961] by @agoodpersonrose

Post-Season Six AU. David and Patrick have been married for five years and life has never been better. In the midst of preparing to open their third storefront, a magical accident involving a strange new vendor and a bad batch of wrinkle cream leaves David with a new look that threatens to change their world as they know it.

2021

all that you got, skin to skin [david/patrick, E, 3,237] by @schittyfic

For midnightstreet's prompt: Patrick loves David's body hair (and David has come to like it too), but when David decides to get a full-body wax just for the heck of it, Patrick loses his fucking mind.

As it has Always Been [david/patrick, T, 2,485] by @agoodpersonrose

It must be the fifth or sixth time the Brewers have met David. But the first time that they have seen him truly angry.

Aubade [david/patrick, G, 229] by petrichor_apothecary

Patrick and David enjoy a morning together out in their back yard.

baby, don't let go [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

David claimed he was waiting because Patrick kept sending him gifts, but Patrick thinks he understands the real reason.

everyday the hold is getting tighter (and it troubles me so) [stevie/ruth, M, 1,228] by budd

Stevie and Ruth end up sharing the last bed at the newest addition to Rosebud Motel Group. Title from "Under Attack" by ABBA

Flying Coach [david/patrick, T, 8,930] by @lisamc-21

David uses a piece of his Blouse Barn money for an (unfortunately depressingly economical) European vacation before he opens his store and he won't have the time or money to travel. After the literal worst day of travel he's ever experienced, a knight in shining blue polyester comes to his rescue. Even a cranky and jet-lagged David can't withstand the power of Patrick Brewer's kind, teasing earnestness.

it's never too late [stevie/twyla, G, 1,000] by budd

Twyla works through queer feelings revolving around her crush of thirteen years, Stevie Budd.

lead me back home, back into your arms [david/patrick, T, 2,797] by @maxbegone

He breaks the silence. “You shouldn’t feel guilty, you know,” he begins, taking a corner of the towel on Patrick’s shoulders and dabbing it across his collarbone. “For not telling them.” -- A missing scene in the apartment during Meet The Parents.

Leaving Aside the Circumstances [david/patrick, E, 9,311, CW: noncon/dubcon] by @unfolded73

David and Patrick are running a general but very specific store on a space station when they get abducted by aliens. And then they have to have sex because this is tropefest.

Love Keeps the Cold Out [david/patrick, T, 15,291] by @thesleepyskipper

David gets out of the rental car at the base of the mountain and immediately shivers as the cold air hits his face. He’s quickly realizing that he may not be properly dressed for the weather, wearing a thin knit olive-coloured toque, his favourite Rick Owens lace-ups and a black peacoat over his usual designer sweater and black jeans. As the wind whips across his exposed knees, it also occurs to him that he probably should have avoided the ripped ones for this trip. Or at least on the days when he’d be forced to brave the elements. Despite the somewhat-fond memories lingering in the back of his mind, he quickly becomes aware that this trip has a distinct purpose outside of spending weeks at a time as a professional ski bunny. David takes a trip to a ski resort in Quebec to meet a new possible vendor for Rose Apothecary, with Stevie, Alexis and Ted tagging along for the ride. During an unfortunate incident, David is trapped with a handsome stranger who is trying to escape from his past. Will this vacation potentially be a success for both his store and his love life?

The Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch [david/patrick, M, 26,226 + podfic + art] by Amanita_Fierce @danieljradcliffe @delilah-mcmuffin @sarahlevys @fishyspots @godoflaundrybaskets @hagface @hullomoon @januarium @kiwiana-writes @middyblue @nontoxic-writes @ratchet @rhetoricalk @roguebebe @schittposting @ships-to-sail singsongsung @sparklesmagiclightlove @sunlightsymphony @swiftlythebest @schitthappens

Hello, I am Wendy Kurtz, proprietor of the Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch, the world’s premier spot for couples looking to get a speedy divorce and connect with other soon-to-be divorcees. I’d like to highlight the stories of five couples, who rearranged into five other couples, from some past summer. These ten people came to the Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch with the intention of ending a marriage, and got that and so much more. I could recount their journeys with 100% accuracy, but where’s the fun in that? Let’s let them tell us themselves. OR: One crazy summer in Las Vegas brings the heat and then some. Featuring art and podfic with every chapter!

this magnetic force of a man [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

Twyla talks to Patrick at the baby sprinkle. Patrick doesn't finish his sentence.

2022

Like the First Time [david/patrick, T, 1,656] by poemme

Fic bunny from the quote: "I've kissed like a thousand people, but nobody that I cared about, or respected, or thought was nice."

Six O'Clock [david/patrick, T, 2,433] by mindswindowsdoors

"Oh. Hi...Patrick." David doesn’t know how to respond. It's a little weird. He likes Patrick just fine. More than fine. More than he should for a business partner. David's only human. Patrick is hot and new, and more importantly - it'll pass. This...crush thing. Not getting laid isn't exactly helping either. Anyway. Not the point. He and Patrick haven't hung out socially and it's kind of awkward running into him during a hunting expedition for randoms at a seedy bar.

The Chalet [david/patrick, M, 874] by mindswindowsdoors

David and Patrick get away.

2023

Rose from the Ashes [david/patrick, E, 72,210] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

Meet David Rose and Patrick Brewer, the two men who were found living on a deserted island for over forty-five days after the Blayze Music Festival went up in smoke. Documentary filmmaker (town council member, real estate agent, closet organizer, and photographer) Ray Butani has assembled an in-depth, first-person account of one of the more positive outcomes of the fraudulent festival: the romance that blossomed amongst the chaos. Binge read all eight episodes to learn how getting lost led David and Patrick to find both themselves and each other.

Scruff [david/patrick, G, 100] by @sspaz1000

Patrick hopes that today is the day David comes back.

2024

[Podfic] 50 Shades [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @hullomoon

David’s tested every shade from Greige to Pewter, whereas Patrick, prefers plain Blue, and thought, they’d reached a compromise with Slate Blue. Or, the first time Patrick and David paint and decorate their cottage. [podfic of 50 Shades]

[podfic] Maison Valentino [david & alexis, G, podfic] by @schitthappens

A surprise visit from Alexis gets David thinking more deeply about the fluidity of his wardrobe and identity. Podfic of Maison Valentino by bigficenergy.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 3 fics/38,758 words 2020: 10 fanworks (9 fics, 1 podfic)/69,856 words 2021: 12 fanworks (11 fics, 1 fic + podfic + art combo)/70,934 words 2022: 3 fics/4,693 words 2023: 2 fics/72,310 words 2024: 2 podfics Total: 32 fanworks (28 fics, 3 podfics, 1 fic + podfic + art combo)/256,854 words

[softantlers]

Idk if you’ve been asked this before but do you think Nat (or anyone in general) knows about Lottie’s schizophrenia? And is that why Nat doesn’t really believe in “it” because she knows Lottie’s just imagining things?

haven't been asked that before! thanks for asking!

so my thing with this is that- lottie is a bit exceptional?? the idea of a girl that young being diagnosed with schizophrenia and medicated in the 90s is kinda unreal. (this is why i sometimes question her diagnosis, but that's another story.) i'm pretty sure childhood-onset schizophrenia is extremely rare & of course it's often diagnosed as other things in girls (especially back then) for all the reasons you can imagine that people who aren't cis men get delayed/incorrect diagnoses.

so my hc generally is that her father had to have been very aggressive to get her on loxapine; he might have even had to call in favors under the table & my thinking on this is that he likely wanted to go the nuclear option first since he's got a white rich man mentality that has no patience for exploring the care his daughter might actually need.

that said, i have to imagine that lottie was never encouraged to share her diagnosis (as bad as it sounds, i also have to wonder if she even knows in the teen timeline about her diagnosis, besides the fact she has to take these goddamn pills every morning). even if she does know, i would consider schizophrenia to be a pretty unspeakable condition to live with as a young girl in the 90s. i really don't think she would trust anyone (even if we hc nat as a confidant) with that information before the crash...

and also, i think one of the biggest tragedies about lottie's character is that she probably didn't feel confident to tell her teammates about her medication running out before it was too late-- like genuinely, putting myself in her shoes it makes sense. you wanna literally destroy people's perceptions (bc ableism, 90s, you know) of you for the rest of your life when there's a chance y'all might get rescued in a week? and the problem with this kind of thing is that the longer she's off the meds, her insight becomes diminished & the delusions kick in and then... oh what do you know?? she doesn't think she needed to be on them after all. <- this dynamic is why i don't fuck with people who say lottie "knows that she's sick" -- like it's just now how i understand this stuff to work. (sidebar: not an expert at all but i thought i was going to be a social worker before my current job & i've interacted directly with a few folks with schizophrenia tryna get on disability + their medical records, so that's kinda where my thinking comes from.)

but back to your question- because of all those reasons, i don't really think natalie (or anyone) on the team knows. when they call lottie "crazy," i don't think it's couched in any kind of understanding of mental illness but just sort of a teen "what the fuck is happening???" thing to say. what i do tend to think about with natalie is that she, more than anyone else on the team, has experience with hallucinogens. it's hard to say how much pre-crash but we get the sense that she's dabbling. so imo, i think she has a natural intuition about the possibility of tripping & also maybe a firmer understanding (even if she can't articulate it) about fucked mental health since she quite clearly has ptsd/flashback stuff going on herself (again, even if she doesn't have the words for it).

i've always said that the way nat approaches lottie and gently says "this is very real" at the end of episode 8 almost makes me think of someone talking you down from a bad trip?? maybe nat has experience doing that. i think she knows something is going on with lottie--possibly more than the other girls--but i don't know that it means she knows her diagnosis, you know?? i think she has empathy and insight with regard to lottie though, and i find it interesting that she, being the rationalist, is the one to reach out when lottie says she's staying.

this is all my two cents tho!

[simplyreveries]

I've never submitted anything before so I apologize if this is incorrect, but I just really really love your writing and wanted to request somthing! Would a Riddle, Jamil and Idia with an autistic reader who likes bright lights to calm them be ok?

I dont know if I did this correctly, if I'm incorrect or you just don't want to write this one I totally get it if you ignore it/gen

Have a great day!

hope this is alright<3

riddle rosehearts

he’d get one in his room, so if you are particularly feeling overwhelmed or anything you can just go there, as dorm leader he doesn't share with anyone or anything like that so it's completely calming. if you're okay he’ll just be with you in quiet doing his own work if that's what you’d prefer. he is very understanding about it even if he doesn't experience such himself, he tries to be as calming as he can be to you.

the last thing he’d want is you feeling distressed and bad, he would go out of his way to make sure you’ll always have some sort of access to one especially within the dorm—much to his dismay, he is well aware of how chaotic it can get sometimes usually it being something ace or deuce did.

riddle loves the way the light shines on you, he thinks you look so lovely around them, even more so with a content expression on your face. the fact that he can help that to help you feel all the better is really encouraging to him.

jamil viper

if you look in his room, you’ll see various lights like on his desk or lantern-like lights hanging on his ceiling. he noticed you always seemed drawn to them whenever you're over at scarabia and in his room, he didn't fully understand why— as it took him a moment for him to realize that you like them so much, that it helps you ease yourself.

jamil wants to be able to help you feel calmed down he'll gladly share and show you various ones- even if that means walking through campus during the late hours to see them all over the place like the library for example. he'd always hum and nod telling you he finds them pretty too, but he really is just gazing at you.

he wants to take you to his hometown, scalding sands, because a night, it lights up so amazingly. (look at his silk adorned card!!!) there are plenty he can show you as you look around, he wants to see your face light up at all the different kinds of various traditional lights and such.

idia shroud

even with the lights off in his room, truthfully i don't think idia even likes complete darkness so there's usually some night light or the illumination and light coming from his technology within his room. you could easily be drawn to it whenever you're over. he’ll even have a light right by his bed just for you if you’d like.

i bet you 100% you don't even have to ask he would quite literally make you some customize able one. it'll represent something you like (like an animal, plant or something!), you can adjust the brightness, and even change the colors... he will go all out on it and be super nervous but idia turns a quick 180 to a proud and confident demeanor when you seem excited about it. he'll proceed to ramble and tell you every little thing that he designed it to do for you do. he'll slowly start ordering online and adding more to his room.. and yours in ramshackle, lord knows there's not many working lights in there. he wants you to feel comfortable.

though he was nervous and completely against performing for the "wish upon a star" event, knowing and seeing just how happy you were to see all the star decorations lit up around the tree did give him a small sense of ease when performing.

[kcrabb88]

I've been thinking a lot lately about fandom's penchant to take male characters who are funny and/or chaotic, or perhaps might be known for throwing a good punch, and then create fanon in which said character is stupid/constantly does stupid stuff. I'm particularly thinking currently about Quinlan Vos, but this is by no means unique to Star Wars fandom. There was a period there in Les Mis fandom during which the Broification of Bahorel was a thing. It happened to Caleb Brewster in TURN fandom. Sometimes Zeb in Rebels fandom (which, Star Wars again, but different part of the fandom). It happens A LOT. And like, just because a character is funny, chaotic, or has a penchant for a brawl, it doesn't mean that they're stupid?? I don't understand why this is such a trend.

Back to Quinlan, specifically. I follow the Quinlan tag. I follow the QuinObi tag and the things I have to see where Quinlan is just?? Dumb?? All the time??? Extremely not sure what about his sarcastic sense of humor and chaotic plans (that work! He has a plan in the new comic that is objectively hilarious and also EFFECTIVE) gave anyone the impression that he was stupid, but I see?? So much of it?? He's?? A spy?? A Jedi Master?? He's a really GOOD spy, as a matter of fact. He goes undercover a lot. He IS funny and he IS chaotic but that doesn't mean he isn't smart! Sometimes characters like this also might use humor as a shield, which can be a super intriguing thing! Quinlan in the comics definitely (in my opinion at least) does this, and he does it in Dark Disciple too. His psychometry can be a traumatic kind of power, and he has to get closer to temptations around the dark side a lot more than other Jedi, and that is something he struggles with while being such a good person even when he falls and has to get back up again.

Anyway, Quinlan is a really compelling character with a lot of facets to his personality. He IS funny (I am often writing him being funny!) but he's not JUST there to be comic relief. He has his own things and his own arcs. There is some truly great Quin fanwork out there! Maybe it's the incorrect quotes getting to me, but I hope the trend of making him stupid will end, because he deserves better.

[milkcookiekin]

earthbound high school au incorrect quotes (+ ocs)

(writing these as i take a break from a oc x canon one-shot from this au. I would love to make art of the high school au if I could draw but at least I don’t use ai)

Ness, talking about Alex: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HER AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? SHE DID. SHE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

Poo: How do you do that? Kiana: I'm fearless. Ana: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Kiana: I'm mostly fearless.

Lucas: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something. Claus, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

Lucas, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles. Lloyd: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake- Jeff, under his breath: Don’t say Jortles. Lloyd: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.

Kiana: Do you cook? Alex: I made a cake once. Ninten: Yeah, it was good. Alex: Really? Ninten: Don’t make me lie twice, Alex.

Claus: You know I think my life has value. Jeff: Who are you and what have you done with Claus?!

Ninten: While I'm gone, you're in charge Ness. Ness: Yes! Ninten, whispering to Alex: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad. Alex: Obviously.

Ninten: So you like cats? Ana: Yeah. Ninten: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Lloyd: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do? Ana: Get two more chairs. Paula: Cut each chair in half to make six. Ness: Make them FIGHT for their seats! Alex: I would never be near children. Jeff: Get rid of two kids.

Poo: Lucas, you’re in charge! Ness: Lucas, can we start a fire?

Ness: You know, Pinocchio could tell us so much about the universe! He could randomly claim stuff like “The Big Bang happened” and his nose would confirm or deny our theory. Lucas: Pinocchio’s not omniscient, you dumb fuck! His nose only grows when he’s intentionally being dishonest! Claus: Things are heating up in the Pinocchio fandom…

Lucas: How much did you spend on this date? Kiana: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Ana: Relationships should be 50/50. Ninten cooks us food while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. (he doesn't really know how to cook)

Alex: I owe you one. Ness: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Ninten: Hey, do you know the password to Paula’s computer? Jeff: Fuck you, Ninten. Ninten: Hey!! Jeff: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouNinten". Ninten: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

Ness: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Ninten... Lloyd: As you should be. Ness: No, for real, he's kind of- Lloyd: As. You. Should. Be.

Ness: I'm trash. Alex: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Ness: Ness: You smooth motherfucker. Ness: And yes it does.

Kumatora: You know, sometimes dandelions remind me of Claus. Lucas: Aww, is it because he's like a little sunshine, spreading light and hope everywhere? Kumatora: What? Gross, no, it’s because he's like a weed that you can’t get rid of!

Poo: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Ana: How? Poo: I need someone to take the fall. Ana: What did you do? Poo: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Claus, from the other room: Oh my god. Poo: ... Claus: OH MY GOD! Ana: Make it a hundred. Poo: Deal.

Kiana: Sorry I’m late, everyone! I broke down on the way. Ness: Oh no! Is your car okay? Kiana: …what car?

Alex: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all? Jeff: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

[secretmellowblog]

Hijo for the characterask game

Javert and #8

(A little late but for this ask game!!! Thank you again!)

#8: a thing the fandom does with this character that you despise!

Despise is a strong word! I'll say "confuses me" instead. I talked a little bit about it in my post about fandom Valjean things I dislike-- with the caveat that I don't think any of this is really a big deal, because this small huddle of fandom stuff is a very tiny niche that doesn't have a wide impact, and also it's very normal/natural for people's opinions on characters to change over time, and I know that my *own* opinions have changed over time-- but---

I am confused by all the pro-police stuff in the Javert fandom? XD

I think the main thing that confuses me is why Post-Seine stuff where Javert is "redeemed" usually has Javert returning to his job.

It just makes more sense, thematically and on a character level, for him to resign? The common idea that "redeemed Javert" would go back to arresting people and that this would be a Good Thing always throws me off. Because 'the entire criminal justice system is fundamentally broken, there is a gulf on high, it is immoral to do this' was his whole dramatic realization and all. Plus, even putting aside the anti-police politics of the book, being a cop was clearly not good for Javert's mental health. XD It was making him feel very bad!

I remember once reading a mildly popular fic where a post-seine Javert talks about how he thinks the prison system is fundamentally broken and violent and unjust, and he can never return to his job. And I was like "Wow, this author gets it!" Then I kept reading and it turns out Javert was supposed to be *wrong* in that paragraph, that paragraph was supposed to represent an incorrect pessimistic wrong way of thinking, and the fic was about Javert regaining his faith in the police. It's just very funky! Kinda just like, realizing people view this story in such a radically different way you can't ever vibe with their versions of the characters. People sometimes walk back everything Javert realizes in Derailed as if they're mistakes, instead of positive character development, which feels odd to me. People act as if Jean Valjean is the rare exception to the general rule that Prison Is Awesome And Cool, and that Javert just needs to realize he was wrong about Jean Valjean specifically and nothing else.

I think people often miss that the police are the villains of Javert's story, in the way they're the villains of Jean Valjean's. His family was ripped apart by the criminal justice system before he was even born, he was born in a cage like an animal, and he became an agent of the system that destroyed his childhood because he internalized that institutional abuse as something that he and his family must have deserved. "Is a system that leads to children being born in jails in desperate poverty actually just?" "well of course it is. the baby is a crime baby made of crime. >:("

He's spent his whole life either living in prison or serving as an agent of the prison system; he has no framework for what living outside of serving the carceral system actually looks like. My take is, that poor horrible creature has had enough policework for several lifetimes. If there is a way to be a "good cop," he would've found it by now. Let him rest. Let him find some funky new job.

Also, one or two people have implied in the distant past that I must hate Valvert, but from a Valvert perspective-- I think it's easier to have post-seine Valvert if Javert quits his job. First, it's a dramatic shift in their dynamic and the power level between them; it's a clear sign that Javert has permanently changed. Second: Javert searching for a new job after spending his entire life serving the prison system is just rife for bonding hijinks. You could easily write a scenario where Jean Valjean helps pull strings to find him work as a gardener for Petit-Picpus, but has to help train him for the position or something along those lines, giving them an excuse to interact. Third: I don't think Javert needs to be a cop to be nosy. If you want to write a "casefic"-ish mystery plotline he could be an Angela Lansbury Murder-She-Wrote old lady retiree character solving a mystery out of pure nosiness, without even arresting anyone. Because it would be very funny.

...This has just turned into a ramble about possible Post-Seine hijinks. Anyway the moral is: there isn't really a moral, this is just my petty fandom opinions. But "Javert fics where police are bad" and "Javert fics where police are flawed but ultimately good" are two completely different genres, is my take.

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

Cecil Palmer has ADHD (like, maybe)?

In reference to this;

How can I say no to our local barista district? Disclaimer: The things I know about ADHD are based purely on internet research and therefore I may bring up some stereotypes or incorrect assumptions for which I apologise. Also although I'm using canon examples, I'm not saying this is intentional the way Carlos being autistic clearly is (unless it turns out to be, then ha! I knew it!).

So, does Cecil meet the criteria? Does he Cecil...

Make small mistakes like forgetting dates, misreading instructions, forgetting instructions, mislaying things etc. Yeah, all of the time. Now we can blame the dates thing in NV weirdness, sure, but when time becomes a bit more right post-Huntocarr this isn't something Cecil improves in. He also sometimes reads out the wrong thing and has to correct himself (in particularly, horrorscopes) or reads out things he was specifically told not to read out (most things about Dark Owl Records tbh). Always with an apologise or a 'oh no oops' though so it's not a malicious choice to say it wrong.

Poor organisational skills/inability to prioritise/finding it hard to do certain things (even if he wants to) through seeming lack of motivation? Now you look at this man and tell me his desk isn't a mess. But seriously, he breaks off to gossip during his show seemingly at random and I think it's just down to him being unable to tell (until too late) that such information doesn't need to be said right now on his news show. This has gotten him into trouble with Station Management multiple times. He also seems to use the interns to organise things around the station for him possibly because he has trouble with it himself (RIP the one intern who organised themselves into alphabetical order by organ when doing other stuff) and even has the interns proofread his Jaws slash fic which is uhhh...not their job Cecil they are here to learn about radio and help you with your job lol priorities please. Not to mention he says he loves journalism where he can go out himself but sees to send his interns a lot. This could be for many reasons but could just be that he Just Can't because of a lack of motivation/energy/ability thing.

Forgetfulness - Trauma? Lyme Disease induced fog? ADHD? Who knows.

Difficulty keeping quiet, and speaking out of turn - Cecil canonically had to take lessons in order to learn how to have a proper conversation with people because he had a hard time letting others talk and listening to/remembering what they've said.

Cecil's moods tend to ebb and flow rather suddenly, going from calm to screaming, from terrified to calm, from calm to squealing with happiness and showing a little hyperactivity in his sudden gushing and aahing at something he finds cute. He could just be like that but you could interpret it a 'sudden mood swings' sometimes seen in ADHD.

Cecil isn't extremely risky, but he does tend to deal with his stress via drinking and just not taking care of himself very well which could count as risk taking behaviour or an inability to deal with stress? He does get flustered and worked up very easily which could be him genuinely having trouble regulating stress and other such extreme emotions.

That's all I've personally got but if anyone (especially those who know more about ADHD/ADD than myself) wants to add things on I'd be so happy~!

[dangan-writing]

TW: Foul Language

Of course! Please check underneath the cut. I used Google Translate, so I apologize in advance if any of the translations are incorrect. Have a great day!

Mod Hiyoko

Icon Created By: twisted-lies

Kokichi

If you're dating Kokichi, he'll try to anger you on a daily basis.

He likes getting a rise out of people.

That's the only explanation you can think of for why, out of nowhere, he decided to repeatedly attack you with a water pistol.

He just so happened to charge while you were talking with K1B0 and Shuichi, soaking them, as well.

You know it's your boyfriend, the 5'1 King of Liars before K1B0 and Shuichi yell his name in disgust.

As your clothing begins to absorb the liquid, you come to the infuriating realization that it wasn't water sprayed at you, but Panta.

It's cold, it's sticky, and your outfit is ruined by Kokichi's prank.

"Nee-heehee, you stupid heads-"

"¿Qué diablos hiciste, engendro de demonios?"

"Oh, what's this? Does my darling S/O know how to speak Spanish?"

"¡Cállate tonto! ¡Terminé con tus travesuras infantiles!"

K1B0 and Shuichi don't know how to respond and shift away from the lover's spat to dry off.

"You're such a meanie! You even scared our friends away with your mean words!"

Kokichi lets out an obviously fake sob and you roll your eyes.

You start to calm down while Kokichi pretends to cry.

He trails after you all the way to your locker, where you fortunately kept clean clothing in case of an emergency.

"Nee-heehee, after you change you can earn my forgiveness by telling me what you said."

Only Kokichi could find a way to be the victim while you were drenched in grape soda because of him.

He grabs your hand and squeezes it softly.

"After all, I wasted three bottles of Panta filling up that water pistol!"

Fuyuhiko

If anyone knows what it's like to be frustrated, it's Fuyuhiko.

That doesn't stop him from getting on your nerves sometimes.

Like tonight, when he shows up to your date four hours late.

He didn't call to let you know that he was okay, and knowing the kind of business that he was involved in, you were worried.

It's almost ten o'clock at night and you're wide awake, thinking to yourself about what to do.

Suddenly you hear a knock at your front door.

It's Fuyuhiko.

"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up with work and didn't notice the time."

You don't want to be upset with him, especially because you thought he was dead just a few seconds ago.

But your anxiety has turned into rage at the sight of his indifference.

"¿Qué carajo? ¿Dónde diablos estabas?"

He's not sure what you said, but he can tell by your tone that you're upset with him.

He's also not one to ask if he did something wrong or apologize, so he doesn't.

"I didn't know you could speak Spanish."

"Aparentemente, tampoco sabes cómo llamar para que la gente sepa que estás bien."

"Damnit, S/O! Don't fuckin' take that tone of voice with me!"

It's Fuyuhiko, you're not surprised to hear him cursing.

However, you are a bit taken back to see him blushing and biting back a smile.

"Mierda, sorry, I mean why do you seem happy that I'm upset with you?"

Your question startles Fuyuhiko as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

"Shut up! It's nothing."

It was definitely something.

As he sweats under your stare, you realize that you could definitely use this to your advantage.

Kiyotaka

Cursing isn't allowed in a school environment.

Or at least, not when you're in your boyfriend's presence.

Dating the Ultimate Moral Compass came with difficulties like that.

You're spending time with your classmates Yasuhiro and Chihiro before homeroom starts at Hope's Peak.

More specifically, you and Chihiro are declining Yasuhiro's pleads for money.

By the time you're finished with that discussion, the late bell had already rung.

Not wanting to be any later than you already are, you decide to run.

You're so close to your destination that you can see the door to your homeroom, when you hear a familiar loud voice and freeze.

"Halt! Running is forbidden in a school environment!"

You turn around and find an incredibly disappointed Kiyotaka.

You know there's no use in running away from him, so you do as he says.

"S/O! I'm quite disappointed in your behavior. In accordance with school regulations, you must show up for detention tomorrow afternoon."

Rationally, you know it's not Kiyotaka's fault that you're receiving detention.

School rules were school rules, as annoying as they could be.

But you couldn't help but be annoyed that you were caught in this situation, especially since you knew your boyfriend would never let you hear the end of it.

"¿Estás bromeando? ¡Mierda!"

Kiyotaka furrows his brow in confusion, and continues making his way towards you.

"S/O! Please refrain from using that tone of voice when talking to an authority figure."

"Cállate, buenos dos zapatos."

He stops moving in your direction and frowns.

In your anger you had forgotten that Kiyotaka studied the Spanish language in his free time.

Tears begin to fill his eyes and you hear a sad sniffle.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you found my behavior so annoying."

Quickly forgetting why you were upset, you pull the crying Ultimate Moral Compass into an embrace.

"I don't! I'm sorry I took my anger out on you."

Not used to public displays of affection, he awkwardly pats your back in response.

It makes you to chuckle into his chest.

"Now that we've both calmed down, I must remind you that cursing in a school environment is a violation."

[writer-ish]

The 3rd Annual Bloom Edenbrook Fundraising Gala

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Brooke Spiers) Word Count: 2.9k Rating: Mostly T (innuendo, language, smooches)

Premise: Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey get coerced into answering anonymous questions submitted by generous donors at this year's hospital fundraising gala. They have about as much fun with it as you'd expect.

This idea is all thanks to THIS ASK from the lovely @lem-20. The concept and all questions are hers! Thank you, darling Leah! ♥️

Author’s Note: My first time with a mixed-media type post(!!!) and the writing part has been done almost script-style, similar to the "Not Yet Wed" questions courtesy of @jamespotterthefirst, which you can find HERE. Hope you all enjoy. 🥰

Tickets

Bonus Raffle

SETTING - Diagnostics Office - 5:15 PM

TWO DOCTORS in formal attire sit across from one another. The male, DR. ETHAN RAMSEY, late-30s, devastatingly handsome, leans against a desk, arms crossed. The female, DR. BROOKE SPIERS, late-20s, charmingly attractive, sits on a larger table further away, legs swinging.

Ethan: I can't believe you talked me into this.

Brooke: [smirking] Why does this feel like deja vu?

Ethan: You know exactly why. You coerced me into the same sort of nonsense in your intern year for that magazine—whatever it was.

Brooke: Yeah, and remember how much publicity the hospital got that year? You're welcome.

Ethan: How can you be sure our "publicity" had to do with that article and not the fact that a first-year intern stole from a large pharamceutical company to administer an unapproved drug to—

Brooke: [hands up] Okay, okay, we get it. Regardless, you have to admit I was responsible for all the publicity. [grins]

Ethan: [can't help but grin back] Touche. [sighs deeply] Let's go home.

Brooke: Can't, babe. We're the main event.

Ethan: How did this even come about? Is there not some code of ethics against this sort of thing?

Brooke: [laughs] It's just staff and donors. All adults. We're showing that we're good sports and it's for a good cause.

Ethan: [grumbles] I don't know why people care so much about us.

Brooke: You don't? I mean, have you seen us?

Ethan: [dryly] And so humble, too.

Brooke: Lord knows you aren't with me for my humility.

Ethan: Indeed. [picks up a glass from the desk at his side, swirling the amber liquid] Well, I hope you're prepared.

Brooke: [amused] Prepared?

Ethan: You're used to me being reticent in situations like this and holding back? [downs the liquid in one shot] Not today.

Brooke: [wary] What does that mean?

DR. RAMSEY stands up, crossing the room towards DR. SPIERS until the latter is forced to open her legs to accommodate his presence. He braces a hand on either side of her, leaning forward until their lips are almost touching. Her face flushes. He notices, and a slow, lazy smile spreads.

Ethan: It means [kisses her slightly open mouth softly] I'm answering all their questions.

Brooke: [giggles nervously] All of them? But what if—

Ethan: [punctuating each word with a kiss] All. Of. Them.

He leans forward and captures her mouth in a deep, searing kiss. Her arms twine around his neck and she lets out a soft moan. Drawing her ankles around his legs she pulls him even closer and he places one hand on the desk as the other glides up her back. They stay like that, interlocked for a moment, before he pulls away.

Brooke: [eyes still closed] Hmph.

Ethan: Let's go get this over with.

Brooke: [slowly opens eyes and peers at him, disgruntled] What kinds of questions do you think people are submitting?

Ethan: Like you said, Dr. Spiers... [a slow smile spreads] Have you seen us?

DR. SPIERS laughs as she follows DR. RAMSEY out.

A.N. PLEASE do not look too closely at this very badly photoshopped pic 😂

SETTING - Bloom Edenbrook Hospital, Main Atrium - 6:25 PM

Our two doctors sit beside each other on a makeshift stage. A semi-recognizable third-year resident is the host for the evening. DR. RAMSEY dusts an imaginary piece of lint off his sleeve. DR. SPIERS has her hands in lap, knee shaking slightly. Noticing, Dr. Ramsey reaches over and rests his hand on her leg. She looks over with a small smile and places her hand over his.

Thank you to our very own Chief of Medicine, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, and his partner, head of the Diagnostics Team, Dr. Brooke Spiers, for being here with us today for a good cause. Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, are you prepared to answer some questions provided by our generous, anonymous donors?

Brooke: Sure, why not.

Ethan: [through gritted teeth] For a good cause.

Alright, excellent. I will be drawing these questions at random. Thank you to all who donated for the opportunity to submit a question.

Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, you will both be posed a question. If you choose to answer, you must both answer. If you choose not to, you must match the donation made by the donor, in lieu of a verbal response. Are you ready to begin?

Ethan: Mmm.

Brooke: [nervous laugh] I suppose.

Alright, here we go!

First question: If he/she could take one thing to a desert island what would it be?

Brooke: Me.

[Audience whoops and laughs]

Ethan: [can't hide his smirk, before clearing his throat] Brooke would take her phone. Heaven forbid she can't post about something on Pictagram.

Brooke: It's true. I'm sorry for being such a young millennial needy for external validation.

What are your nicknames for each other?

Brooke and Ethan: [look at each other. Brooke laughs.]

Ethan: Just say it.

Brooke: I mean, it's nothing too embarassing. I call him babe usually, or baby sometimes if I'm feeling extra nice. He calls me—[blushes and looks over at Ethan]

Ethan: [sighs] 'My love'. I call her 'my love'.

[Audience "awwww"s]

Who’s the better cook?

Brooke: Oh, Ethan. A hundred percent.

Ethan: It's true.

Brooke: I'm abysmal.

Ethan: Normally I would demur when it comes to Dr. Spiers' perceived faults, but in this case she's correct.

Brooke: Thanks, babe.

Ethan: You have many wonderful qualities that don't involve ovens, my love.

[A squeal from the audience that sounds suspiciously like Sienna]

Who has the last word in an argument?

[simultaneously] Brooke: Ethan Ethan: Brooke

[They look at each other]

Brooke: [laughs incredulously] Seriously?

Ethan: You think I don't hear you muttering to yourself after you walk away, almost every single time?

Brooke: Oh, so cursing your name and your very existence counts as the last word and not you shouting [affects deep voice] "And that's final!"? Duly noted.

Ethan: I don't sound like that or say that.

Brooke: Mm, sure.

Who is best at keeping secrets?

Brooke: Uh, neither of us?

Ethan: I had a secret once and it was hell keeping it.

Brooke: You've had a couple.

Ethan: True. I'm done with secrets.

Brooke: In lighter news, we kept [gestures between the two of them] this thing a secret for a bit. No?

Ethan: [opens his mouth to agree, when he's interrupted by a shout from the audience—]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Elijah: Nope! We all knew!

[Audience loudly murmurs in agreement]

Brooke: Never mind, then.

Who wears the trousers in the relationship?

Ethan: Neither of us subscribes to antiquated beliefs of superiority in a relationship. We're partners and teammates and work together accordingly. Sometimes she helps and guides me and sometimes I do the same for her. There is no one person who holds higher ground over the other and to imply otherwise would be foolish.

Brooke: [literal heart eyes at Ethan] What he said. [stage whisper] Except it's me.

[Audience laughs as Ethan rolls his eyes]

What is his/her worst habit?

Brooke: Workaholic, poor communication skills, yells first and asks questions later… I could go on.

Ethan: Charming. I have two words for you: messy packrat.

Brooke: Excuse me?

Ethan: If I had a nickel for every useless piece of garbage you kept "just in case" or for each article of clothing on the floor of my bedr—[clears throat] Just trust me.

Brooke: [smirks and whispers against Ethan's ear so only he can hear] Sorry, who is responsible for my clothes on the floor…?

Ethan: [says nothing but smirks as well]

[Audience murmurs in scandal]

What three words would you use to describe them?

Brooke: Hmm. Let me think.

Ethan: Passionate, caring, intelligent.

Brooke: [looks at him fondly] You came up with those fast.

Ethan: [matter-of-factly] I could give them ten more easily.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [to the audience] No, no, no don't be fooled, he doesn't mean only the flattering words, trust me.

Ethan: I believe it's your turn.

Brooke: Dedicated, compassionate, brilliant.

Ethan: [smiles softly at Brooke, who avoids his gaze. He reaches over and squeezes her hand.]

Brooke: [mutters] Yeah, yeah.

What celebrity do you/they think they most look like?

[Both Ethan and Brooke look at the announcer quizzically.]

Brooke: Celebrity? Uhh…

Ethan: I don't even know how I would begin to answer this question.

Brooke: Ryan Reynolds?

[Audience laughs and loudly disagrees]

Ethan: Who?

Brooke: [laughs and shakes her head] I don't know! I just named a random hot guy. You name a redhead actress. Jessica Chastain?

Ethan: [confused] Do you mean Jessica Rabbit?

Brooke: No I don't mean— [looks at him incredulously] Are you saying you think I look like Jessica Rabbit?

Ethan: No, I thought that's what you were saying and I was about to tell you how incorrect you were. Er, that is to say—

Brooke: I feel like you're digging yourself into a hole here.

Ethan: Agreed.

Who is the most vain?

Ethan: Both of us have more pressing concerns than our physical appearance.

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: [splutters]

Brooke: If you're going based off who spends more time on their hair in the bathroom? Ethan.

Ethan: [crosses his arms and glowers, but doesn't disagree]

What is his/her guilty pleasure?

Brooke: Ethan's is cooking shows, particularly Nigella.

Ethan: It's true. Brooke's is high calorie indulgences like—what's the freezer cake you made me buy the other day? With no identifiable or even passably edible ingredients?

Brooke: Ooh, Deep 'n Delicious. So good.

Ethan: [rolls eyes] Yes, because we all need our daily dose of hydrogenated oils and preservatives.

If they had a free pass, which celebrity would they choose to sleep with?

[Look at each other blankly]

Brooke: Uhh… Nigella?

Ethan: This Ryan Reynolds fellow?

Brooke: [laughs] I don't even like him!

Ethan: So who, then?

Brooke: [crosses her arms] I notice you didn't deny Nigella.

Ethan: This question is stupid. Next question.

Where and when did you go on your first date?

Brooke: Derry Roasters

Ethan: What? No. I took you to Sorellina—

Brooke: What, three years after we first met? No. Our first date was Derry Roasters when you caught me following you that time.

Ethan: Ah, so she finally admits it. I thought at the time I was… what was it, "paranoid"?

Brooke: [laughs only a touch guiltily] Did I say that?

Ethan: So you're treating the first time you trailed after me to the local coffee shop as our first date?

Brooke: Well, you paid.

Ethan: Yeah, after you "forgot" your wallet.

Brooke: What, you thought I pursued you for your good looks? No, sir. I like a man with deep pockets. Plus, you know how I know it was a first date?

Ethan: Please, enlighten me.

Brooke: You ordered for me and I didn't get annoyed and it was horrible, but I still drank the whole thing.

Ethan: The espresso Romano is not horr—

Brooke: Horrible. Coffee and lemon? [shudders] That's how I knew I was into you.

Ethan: [intrigued] Really? Way back then?

Brooke: [nods, blushing slightly, and rolls her eyes] Oh brother, don't act so shocked. You knew.

[Audience laughs and whoops]

Ethan: [shell-shocked face showing he absolutely did not know]

Where was your first kiss?

Brooke: [sheepishly] Miami.

[Audience murmurs in surprise]

Ethan: [sighs] Yes.

Brooke: Is that—are Harper and Naveen exchanging money?

Naveen: [from the audience] Dr. Emery should know better than to question my instincts!

Ethan: [loudly groans] Next question.

Who is the loudest in bed?

Brooke: [yelps and, remembering Ethan's earlier warning, throws her hand over his mouth]

Ethan: [from behind her hand] You probably could have made the answer less obvious.

Brooke: [blushes and groans]

[Audience roars its approval]

Which of your friends do you think he/she is most likely to have a crush on?

Brooke: Ohhh, this is awkward.

Ethan: My friends?

Brooke: Considering we can list your friends on one hand…and some of them intersect with mine. [bites lip] What do we do with this one?

Ethan: [to the host] What did the donor pay?

Sorry?

Ethan: To submit this question. How much?

Oh, uhh—[checks] $200.

Ethan: I'll write you a cheque for $200. Next question.

Brooke: [shakes her head laughing] All the questions, huh?

Ethan: At my discretion, yes.

Bryce: [from the audience] You know the answer was me for both of you, anyway!

Ethan: [scoffs] Fat chance, Lahela.

Brooke: [pointedly silent, staring straight ahead]

Ohh-kay. Next question. Who had feelings first?

Brooke: Ha, me. For sure.

Ethan: Are you sure?

Brooke: [looks at him incredulously] I just told you I liked you even after you bought me lemon coffee at Derry Roasters three years ago. [sits up to look at him more fully] No chance you liked me earlier than that. I mean, like-liked me.

Ethan: "Like-liked you"? Are we twelve?

Brooke: You know what I mean. You were such a grouch and I was just your annoying intern.

Ethan: [irritatedly] The annoying intern I kissed in Miami, what, a week later? Is that how obvious my lack of feelings for you were?

Brooke: [opens her mouth to respond and then closes it again]

Ethan: That's what I thought.

Who’s more dramatic?

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: I am absolutely not—

Brooke: See? Honestly, he's exhausting.

Ethan: [glowers]

Who has the weirdest orgasm face?

Brooke: Weirdest?

Ethan: Oh for the love of—

$5000 to not answer this one, doctors.

Brooke and Ethan: [jaws drop simultaneously]

Brooke: Someone paid five-thousand dollars—

Ethan: What kind of a pervert—? Fine, say it's me.

Brooke: It's really not.

Ethan: [quietly] Well, it's certainly not you.

Brooke: Yeah, but—

I believe we have our answer!

Ethan: We'll take it. Next!

What are you most likely to argue about?

Ethan: Brooke believes I could be more communicative about my feelings, especially when I have a problem.

Brooke: You do listen!

Ethan: Of course. We also argue about when she's going to move in with me.

[Audience gasps and murmurs in gleeful scandal]

Brooke: [jaw drops] Ethan!

Ethan: It's true. [turns to host] I believe it should have already happened. She believes she needs to maintain a tenuous hold on a bedroom she rarely occupies for a group of roommates who would be happy for her to move on.

Brooke: [fuming] Of all the high-handed—

Jackie, from the audience: He's right, girl, bigger and better awaits.

Brooke: [through gritted teeth, as Sienna, Ethan, and Aurora all nod and give her thumbs up] Maybe this is something we can talk about later—

Ethan: Whatever you say, my love.

Brooke: Oh, yeah, now with the "my love"s—

On that note! Here is our final question.

What’s the most romantic thing they’ve done for you?

Ethan: [looks at Brooke, who is still glowering] Most romantic?

Brooke: [glares]

Ethan: With Brooke, it's the little things. She'll notice when I'm having a bad day and bring me my favourite donut. Or a well-timed hand on my shoulder or knee when she can see I'm getting riled up.

Brooke: [glare softens a bit]

Ethan: She's thoughtful and kind and extremely empathetic. She knows what I need even before I know that I need it. It's not—candlelit dinners or what have you, but I've already prided myself on being a practical person and this intersection of—of practicality and care? That's what I find… [struggles to get the word out] romantic.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [screws up her mouth before leaning over to kiss Ethan on the cheek] Okay, that was sweet. [Thoughtfully] Most romantic thing Ethan has done for me? Well… [side-eyes him, before continuing] The HAZMAT suit sleepover last year was probably up there.

Ethan: [uncomfortable] I don't want that to be classified as—

Brooke: You were there for me at a time when I needed you most. If that's not romance, I don't know what is.

Ethan: [increasingly agitated] That's not romance, dammit, that's—that was a necessity. That was vital. I needed to be there. I needed to make sure you—that you—[cuts himself off, clenching his jaw]

Brooke: [eyes soft as she looks at him. Reaching out she rests her hand on top of his clenched fist until it unfurls slowly underneath hers and he releases his breath slowly] See? [softly] Romance.

Ethan: [sighs deeply, then links his fingers with hers and gruffly kisses the top of her hand] All this tells me is that I've neglected you on the "romance" side of things.

Brooke: [still smiling softly] No complaints. [looks out at the audience] Are we done here? [affects a deep voice] Are you not entertained?

Ethan: [fondly] And she says I'm the dramatic one.

I think we got what we needed, doctors. Thank you for helping out for a good cause. This raffle ticket session alone raised a total of $23,000 for Bloom Edenbook Hospital!

Ethan: [dumbfounded] That is insane.

Brooke: I promise we aren't that interesting.

The people beg to differ. Round of applause for Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey for being such good sports. Until next time, doctors!

Ethan: [over thunderous applause] There absolutely won't be a next time.

Brooke: [laughs and stands up, smoothing out her dress]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Jackie: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Rest of the audience chimes in: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Brooke: [crosses her arms, smirking at Ethan]

Ethan: Oh for the love of— [acts like he's walking away, then loops an arm around her waist and pulls her close, tilting her back and kissing her thoroughly]

[Audience roars its approval]

Ethan: [pulls away slowly and sets her upright, chucking her chin with an affectionate and slightly devilish smirk. He starts to guide her away from the host and off the makeshift stage]

Brooke: [mutters, still a bit dazedly] Told you. Drama.

[Laughing, they walk off stage together.]

[sleeplessincairo]

[ dating steve rogers would include: ]

warnings: just a few cusses and a few sexual implications

///

He's an absolute gentlemen even in awkward, but adorable ways:

He’s always asking for permission before taking action whether it’s asking if you’re okay with him wrapping his arms around you in public or if you mind him kissing you even if you’ve been dating for 6 months.

He’s always racing to your side of the car or to the entrance of any room/building just so he can open the door for you-But despite him being super human, you still manage to beat him to it sometimes.

He even sometimes sprawls his jacket across a puddle just so your shoes don’t get wet, but you usually end up jumping in the puddle and splashing the water everywhere with an innocent grin. You do appreciate the thought and effort, though.

He constantly offers you his jacket just in case you’re cold and even sometimes goes ahead and drapes it over your shoulders, because he knows how stubborn you are to actually bother accepting it or asking for it.

He absolutely HAS to walk or drive you home every time just to make sure you arrive home safely and make sure no knucklehead dares to mess with you, but when you refuse to let him go through all that trouble he settles for ‘observing from a distance’ which is basically him stalking you.

Despite him having the spontaneous job of being a superhero, he never keeps you waiting too long-Mostly because of him missing his dance with Peggy by years resulted in him being as punctual as he can.

The list goes on...From him pulling your seat out for you to sit on and helping you put on your coat to paying for every date regardless of your protests.

In the beginning, he was extremely shy and flustered to the point where he would stutter uncontrollably and question every move he made so he wouldn't embarrass himself.

At the end of your dates, He tried to kiss you but usually ended up chickening out and end up kissing your cheek instead.

But finally, when he walked you to your apartment on your 4th date, he stood there awkwardly stuttering a goodnight while staring directly at your lips, only for you to grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him yourself.

When Tony heard the story of you being the one to make the first move and kiss him, he stayed about a whole month teasing Steve about it.

"Is (Y/N) gonna be the first one to make a move in the bedroom too, Steve?"

Him giving you those adorable sideways smiles with his eyes glimmering with adoration that’s reserved just for you.

You teaching him about the latest technology, slang, and trends after realizing that getting Tony to do it was a completely bad idea-He ended up just telling Cap’ either completely incorrect things or just things that would give him a good laugh.

“Wow (Y/N), that’s so fetch.”

"Alright let me get this straight, you tag people? Wasn’t that a game people played where you chase someone and if you touch them, they're it? Did they make that into an...app-apparatus?"

A lot of ‘Wait, I didn’t mean to send that’

You get to see the clumsy, imperfect, and wounded side of Captain America the world doesn’t get to see; you get to witness all the ‘Him getting up in the middle of the night to pee and accidentally stepping on his shield, making it hit him in the shin’s, all the sleepless nights spent together because the nightmares are getting too vivid, all the regrets and disappointments he holds for himself because he was too late, all the insecurities that eat him alive because of him having all of this strength and these abilities yet still not being enough, all the reckless and deadly actions he makes without even a second thought because he’s just not used to having someone to live for, the way he slightly flinches when Thor summons and uses his powers, all the times he misplaces his shield to the point where Tony ends up putting a tracker in it, the emptiness of his apartment because he’s too afraid to settle down, the bright red color that seeps through his cheeks when you press your body tightly against his, all the low swears that escape through his mouth when he thinks no one can hear him, all the uncertainties and hesitations that he never dares to show because he’s ‘Captain freaking America’. You get to witness all his deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings. You get to witness and love Steve Rogers.

Steve always making sure that his superhero life doesn't affect his private life especially when said superhero life concludes of spontaneous and agonizingly long missions. He makes it his personal duty to make time for dates, events, and well, you.

Steve doesn't like bullies. He doesn’t care who they are.

Steve woke up from almost 75 years of being frozen in ice after fighting wars and battles, fighting for America and it’s freedom only to wake up and find out the world is still a dark place and he can’t help but think that all his friends died for nothing. Steve makes it his new mission to fight for equality and power to the people, to make sure everyone has a voice, to make sure no one is overlooked or ignored, to make sure that everyone gets the God-given rights they have.

Captain America symbolizes freedom and protection and he'll be damned if he can’t offer minorities the freedom and protection they DESERVE. Captain America has always been for standing up for the little guy, for following what’s right not the law. Captain America is the symbol of how America should be.

Steve Rogers was a fugitive of the law at some point, there is no way he’d hold back on joining in on women’s marches, protests and riots, and pride parades.

Steve Rogers volunteering at Youth Centers to teach kids self-defense and offering them the guidance, support, and comfort Bucky always managed to offer him.

Steve Rogers protecting people from police brutality-His insomnia and Tony’s drones helped him keep an eye out for it and other forms of harassment.

Steve refusing to reinforce nor aid any governments that took part in the oppression of it’s own citizens and worked hard to striving for a better life for them with the help of T’challa and Tony help creating a treaty that ensures it.

A lot of slow dancing and slight swaying while being wrapped in each others arms.

Especially to Billie Holiday. Boy, is he a fan of Billie Holiday.

He's not exactly supportive of technology due to the unfortunate difference in human interactions between the 40s and now, so he sticks to some of his old habits.

Instead of sending text messages or calling during missions, he mostly writes you letters. Every single different alias he uses for each letter is inscribed into your brain.

Instead of staying home all day, he takes you out to soak in the beautiful weather of New York and tells you about how it used to be back in the 40’s.

Instead of watching a movie on your laptop or the TV, he takes you to the local cinema or even a drive-in.

Oh, how he loves taking you to the Smithsonian Museum just so he can point out all the inaccurate facts and exhibitions in display.

Leaving each other sticky notes everywhere to remind each other of events because of the fact that his unstable working hours so you don’t see each other much for you to tell each other face to face. Slowly, the both of you ended up developing a habit of leaving short cute love notes on each other’s things-Every single sticky note is saved in your own special places but Steve takes a few with him whenever he goes on missions to keep him company.

Although, you’d never tell Steve this, but his handwriting is absolutely terrible. Despite him being quite the artist, reading his notes is like decoding what a doctor’s prescription note says. However, with every not he wrote you, you started recognizing the way his I’s look like E’s, the way he curves and arcs his letters like he’s drawing loops, and the way punctuation is a stranger to him and soon enough it was like you were reading your own handwriting. You did enjoy decoding the notes he leaves you everyday. It was like a secret language only you could understand.

Him taking you to Brooklyn and telling you stories of the trouble he'd get himself into in EVERY spot.

He told you about how he almost got arrested at the Old Stone House because he snuck in there with Bucky. All because they couldn’t wait for the Grand re-opening. Bucky managed to talk the police out of it by lying to them, and saying that Steve had 2 weeks left to live and how it was his dying wish to see the place.

Oh, and how he had his first kiss with Leslie Jordan in front of Bamonte’s during their first and only date in the 11th grade. He remembered all the fights he got into with the jerks in his class that were always picking on her because of the birthmark on her face, he remembered all the times they sat together because no one wanted to sit with them, he remembered how he asked her to the school dance because every girl deserved the chance to have a special slow dance with a boy, he remembered how he saved up so that they could eat at that fancy italian place-Bamonte’s-afterwards. She ended up switching schools and moving to Wisconsin the following week.

Steve told you about all the places that were rundown and were there before all the replacements and modifications, all his happy childhood memories, all the alleys he got his ass kicked in, all the places him and Bucky got kicked out of. But it wasn’t until after you met Bucky and shared hundreds of stories about Steve that you realized that even before the serum Steve was still a fucking dumbass that went headfirst into reckless and dangerous trouble; Now, he didn’t jump out of planes without a parachute back then but he did climb 3 floors up the side of his apartment building just because he felt like it.

Helping and comforting Steve after Peggy dies and being his shoulder to cry on, to lean on, to hide his dorky smile in, and rest his head on that fit perfectly as if it was hand sculpted by God himself just for Steve.

He tells you everything. Absolutely everything. From how many punching bags he managed to make fly today to telling you about his failed missions or missions with casualties-Sometimes he didn’t even need to verbally tell you, you could tell what happened by the slouch of his shoulders and the lack of glimmer in his oh-so-bright eyes.

Jesus, the man can swear like a goddamn sailor. It took him about 2 months for him to feel comfortable enough swear in the presence of a lady, but it was expected that he’d break at some point considering all the pent up rage he has bottled up. The man makes punching bags fly for God’s sake! Not to mention the fact that he was in the army with the Howling Commandos of all people. He just couldn’t help the series of cusses that flew past his lips when-despite the years of training-he accidentally hits himself with his shield, the ‘Fucks’ and ‘Shits’ that escaped through clenched teeth when he got injured during a mission, the soft profanities whispered against your neck as you came apart underneath him, the loud and consistent obscenities that forced his way out of his throat during his road rage-God help anyone who dares to ride in a car with Steve Rogers. You asked him to drive you to work ONCE during rush hour while your car was in the shop and oh boy, he let out words so colorful and vibrant they’d bring Tony Stark to tears.

Tony having a habit of interrupting you and Steve whenever you’re clearly having a moment.

“Did I walk in on some pre-fonduing?” Of course Howard told Tony about it during one of this drunken rants about Captain America, The Living God, and of course Tony would bring it up from time to time just to see Steve’s face turn redder than the Ironman armor.

Getting a mini heart attack whenever you hear about another reckless thing he did despite him telling you that he’d be more careful.

At some point, Bucky and Natasha become your personal spies who inform you of every Godforsaken idiotic thing he does

“You got into a brawl with a God, seriously?"

"Well, so did Tony.”

“AGAIN? You jump out of a plane without a parachute AGAIN?”

He gets homesick quite often but thankfully you’re there to help him through it with ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ ready for him at any moments notice as well as trips to Coney Island and the Stark Expo, but mostly, even if Steve doesn’t admit it, your presence is what helps him through it. The way you run your fingers through his hair and draw circles with them on his skin takes him back to simpler times when he was a little boy lying in the arms of his beloved mother, Sarah. A time of safety and comfort.

Helping him go through his To-Do list.

One of the most precious memories you have of him was when he saw Rocky for the first time with you, he was in awe of the storyline and the colors-He was put in a wonderous state after seeing the deep red color of blood being spat onto the floor, the sweat shimmer of Rocky’s face darimg his opponent to come at him, the overwhelming saturation and hue of actually seeing colors on a screen, of no longer seeing the dull and bland black-and-white pictures he was so used to.

You’re pretty sure he has Marvin Gaye’s entire discography memorized by heart at this point. Steve is eternally grateful to Sam to mentioning Troubleman to him because it was the start of a great obsession.

Training with him. Steve Rogers will personally wake you up for a morning run everyday and honestly you wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t wake you up everyday at the break of dawn. He can’t help it though. Sleep has become a stranger to him since he’s been back.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy it, running with him side-by-side during the rare moments where the city was actually asleep offered you solace. Sometimes the both of you would talk, othertimes you’d run in silence, but mostly on each run you’d use it as a chance to help him catch up on another music album you thought was culturally important for him to know-Dating Steve really diversified your music taste.

He’s a hugger. He just loves embracing you in any possible way whether its linking his arms around you while you’re working, resting his head on your shoulder and hugging you from behind while you’re cooking, or pulling you onto his lap so he can breathe in your scent while he’s doing paperwork.

He has dozens of notebooks filled with hundreds of illustrations he drew of you and The Avengers. You’ve got a few hung up on your fridge but your favorite is definitely the drawing he made of a ring, set in between the cushions of a tiny blue box, that he gave you right before he bent down on one knee.

[rai-knightshade-art]

Canonverse AU Metas

(Warning: long post)

The counterpart to my last post about Mac Ever After, these are the two main metas of how Brady might join the canonverse. They're mostly the same story with minor differences between them (and one is written way more angstily than the other) but I'm including both for the sake of completeness. Also bonus Macdalton incorrect quote at the end.

Also here have a Lily Story Mac and Jack to match Brady.

Version 1:

Canon based Macgyver au idea; or, how to bring Brady into the canonverse and a proposed ending to the show itself:

Basically Nikki somehow ends up dead, for realsies this time. This obviously sucks and is super depressing for everyone, but more pressing at the moment is that she apparently had a kid, a son named Brayden (nicknamed Brady). And to Mac's utter confusion, HE is listed as Brady's godfather/next of kin in case anything should happen to her. This confusion is cleared up pretty abruptly when Brady shows up at the Phoenix with Mac's blue eyes, Nikki's hair and nose and a penchant for taking things apart to look at them (aka there's less "godfather" to his role and more just. Straight father). They bond and Mac sets to work caring for his kid, with the assistance of the Phoenix team (Jack is a remarkably adept babysitter... When Brady decides not to escape. Luckily Mac is an escape Master and always knows how and when the kid gets out). Eventually though Mac realizes that juggling Phoenix and Brady... Isn't going to work. He has to pick one of the other, and he knows in his heart that the choice will always be Brady. He tries to announce this to the rest of the team only to find that they'd already realized that this couldn't go on forever and that he'd always choose his son first, and reveal that they all have contingency plans for when he decides to leave. Riley is going to stay with the Phoenix, working with the other computer nerds almost exclusively and helping Leanna with her missions. Bozer is going back into movie making, still dating Leanna and always leaving his door open if the Phoenix needs any prosthetics (he and Leanna get Mac's house). Matty is staying as Director of course, and working on putting together another flagship team (not as good as theirs, but still plenty competent). And Jack? Well, Jack figures now is as good a time as any to retire completely from this life. His new home? Wherever Mac decides to go with Brady, whether that's still LA, Mission City, Boston, etc. Where Mac goes, he's sure to follow. It's at this point that Mac, somewhat sheepishly and probably a little tearfully, admits that he wants to raise Brady on the Dalton Ranch.

And that's how Bozer becomes a well-known effects man with a secret agent wife, Riley becomes the lead hacker at Phoenix, Matty eventually becomes Oversight, and Mac and Jack raise a kid in Texas.

Bonus:

Jack: *steps out of a yellow taxi, Mac by his side, little Brady hidden behind them, to see Mama Dalton waiting for them*

Jack: Mama!

Mama Dalton: Jack Jr! You finally come to your senses and decide you better come home and give me grandchildren?

Jack: *sheepishly* Well Mama, about that...

*Both men step aside to reveal Brady, who shyly hugs his Dad's leg*

Mac: Mama, this is Brayden Macgyver.... My son.

Mama Dalton: *coos over the little boy* Well hello there Brayden, I'm Mary Dalton, and I'm Jack's mama. You can call me Me-ma if you'd like though...

Version 2:

The Canonverse + Brady au:

Ok so basically Nikki got pregnant after that last night with Mac before they busted Thornton, but she didn't tell him because she knew he'd drop everything for the kid and she wanted him to continue his work at Phoenix. She raises Brady on her own for a few years, possibly still with the CIA but maybe not in the field as much, but something goes wrong and she's killed when Brady's 5 (because parallels). Mac and Jack are informed by Matty (because Mac hasn't been in contact with Nikki in years) and Matty has to break the news that Nikki had a son and that she's named Mac the father (possibly using pictures of Brady that Jack sees and immediately recognizes as being spitting images of Mac as a young boy). Brady's brought to Mac at the Phoenix and Mac just kinda,,, breaks? Because Brady asks if he's his Daddy and reveals that Nikki had told him about Mac, shown him pictures, but told him that while Mac loved him he wouldn't get to see him unless she had to leave, and well... It's just a super emotional moment and leads to Mac embracing his son for the first time and promising fervently that he'd never, EVER let him go. It's at this moment that everyone knows that this is the end of the team, cause there's no way in hell Mac's gonna keep putting his life at risk when he's got Brady.

("Why didn't she tell me?!?!" "Because she knew the same thing I know, hoss: as soon as you found out about this kid you'd have quit the team for him." "*Spluttering* I wouldn't-" "Angus, look me in the eyes and tell me truthfully that had you found out Nikki was pregnant that you wouldn't have dropped everything for her and the kid." "....*silence*" "That's what I thought. And that's why she loved you, that's why I love you now, but she and I both know that the world has needed you these past few years, Mac. Now though... Now the world could live without you, if it needed to.")

At some point James sees this and finally realizes that he fucked up, has a bit of a breakdown and Jack talks to him.

("My pop always told me that it's never too late to say you're sorry and mean it. But another wise man once told me that sorry doesn't fix everything, it just starts the conversation. And right now that man needs all the help he can get, especially from a dad who knows how 5-year-old Macgyvers work; I only know how 12-year-old Riley's work, man, I'm not gonna be much help here.")

(This is a lie, Jack is plenty of help, especially when Mac says he wants to retire to the Dalton Ranch, and even more especially when Brady stops calling him Jack and starts calling him Papa. Mama Dalton is Mema from the get go and welcomes the kid with open arms.)

And that's how Mac and Jack retire to the ranch, probably James in tow, with the rest of the crew visiting frequently. Eventually Riley sets up shop in the area (possibly with Billy because him cheating seemed really out of character), and Bozer becomes famous as a filmmaker and sets up his own Skywalker Ranch on some annexed land. Matty visits on occasion, more often when she finally retires. Mac goes on maybe one more mission (like, a world-is-literally-ending-and-ONLY-mac-can-stop-it type of mission) and everyone else helps from the Ranch/takes care of Brady so he can come back to his kid without worrying. Not sure what to do about Murdoc, maybe he stays locked up, maybe he dies (though that would kinda suck for Cassian, maybe he dies and they adopt Cassian too? Ooooo that could be good actually). Later on they might also adopt a little girl, maybe one of Brady's classmates who lost her family and has nowhere else to go (two soldiers with abandonment issues know how THAT feels and could deal with nightmares that she'd have after the trauma). And they just. Create their own happy little life on the Ranch. And it's nice. James learns how to be a proper parent and grandparent, possibly with some help from Mama Dalton. Mac and Jack get married sometime after Brady starts calling Jack Papa (he asked at one point if Mac and Jack were dating, and if so why Jack wasn't Papa or Dad too, which led to a conversation about it and Jack's official elevation to Papa status). Brady was the flower boy and ring bearer combined. All of Jack's Deltas came and adopted Brady on sight. In general everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Bonus quote:

Snippet from canonverse:

Mac: *is about to get hella shot*

Jack: *shows up out of the blue right on time* hey babe sorry I'm late *shoots down two goons* traffic was a bitch man you know how it is *shoots three more goons*

Mac: .....I love you,,, so much

[salorem]

relationships

robbed directly from my toyhou.se. also hey 300+ posts!

(sorry if the french is incorrect i used yandex translation...)

Noemia -> Alex

"ALEX!!!!!!!!!"

[ The two of them haven't really been the same ever since their enlistment in the Luminarche military, but Noêmia still loves him all the same. While she's busy with work, she always tries to find some space in her busy schedule to meet with him… it's just been difficult. She misses her best friend! ]

Alex -> Noemia

"Noêmia!"

[ The two of them have been friends since their teens. She'd always been there for him, but life has been busy and they haven't properly caught up in a while. Alex hopes to spend more time with her because life just isn't the same without his crazy best friend. ]

Esra -> Alex

"Ça va? I'm worried about you…" (Are you okay? I'm worried about you…)

[ Alex is his older brother. While they haven't talked in a while, he knows that Alex will always be there for him if he needs it, just like he had always been when they were little. Still, it's hard for him to reach out when Alex seems to be so far away. He knows that it's been difficult, but he wants to see him get better. ]

Alex -> Esra

"Esra, s'il te plaît, ne t'en fais pas pour moi. Occupe-toi plutôt de toi." (Esra, please don't worry about me. Take care of yourself instead.)

[ Esra is his younger brother. While they didn't grow up as closely as he'd like, Alex hopes that one day he can just sit down and talk to him, just to catch up and finally get to know his brother properly. But with the weight of life sitting on his shoulders, he finds it more and more difficult with every passing day… ]

Jerome -> Alex

"On t'aime, Alex. Don't forget that." (We love you, Alex. Don't forget that.)

[ Alex is his son. Though Alexandre was adopted as a teen, Jerome loves him as if he'd always been there since the beginning. Nowadays, though, he worries about Alex's growing distance to everything. While he urges him to find help, he's concerned that he's not getting through to him anymore. ]

Alex -> Jerome

"… Merci, papa." (… Thank you, dad.)

[ Jerome's his dad. He appreciates him for what he's done and the advice he's given him as he grew up through the years, but Alex finds himself so far from his teachings that it sometimes hurts to even look at his father in the eyes anymore. He's a lot harder on himself than Jerome ever was. ]

Chanda -> Alex

"Tu ressembles à une morte, Alexandre. Manges-tu?" (You look like death, Alexandre. Have you been eating?)

[ Alex is her son. He was adopted by her and her husband in the midst of his adolescence, but she loves him all the same. Though she finds it difficult to express herself, she tries her hardest in her own way. When she heard her son left the military completely changed, she nearly broke into tears and promised herself that she would help him in any way she could. But when the distance between him and the rest of her family widens, she can't help but feel that things might be too late. ]

Alex -> Chanda

"… J'ai pas faim." (… I'm not hungry.)

[ Chanda is his mom. Being the matriarch, she's a very stoic person that doesn't seem to express much emotion. It doesn't bother him; after all, he's much the same. He knows she loves him as much as he does her. But lately, he feels like he's too much of a burden to reach out and too much of a burden to reach out at all. His mom has enough on her plate as it is; she doesn't need more. ]

Alex -> John

"Another drink? I'll have to take you home at this rate, won't I?"

[ They first met at the club, but after a few more run-ins, Alex found company in the slightly eccentric man. He finds his presence comforting in an odd way, as the two of them can talk about basically anything. Still, there's a part of him that feels that there's something more to him that the other isn't letting on. It's probably not a good time to ask right now, though. ]

John -> Alex

"Hah! If you're offering, I won't say no."

[ They first met at the club, but John never really expected to see him again after that night. But after so many more run-ins, he found himself a bit endeared to the other in a way he can't describe. It's nice, John finds, to have someone seem to actually enjoy being around him… but he's not really sure if it's just because of convenience. ]

[mittensmorgul]

I think one of the things about SPN that is so interesting is... characters lie. All the time. And we aren't always given obvious reasons to suspect they're lying until later when they say something contradictory. I saw a post the other day about Rowena and how she'd mentioned Crowley was conceived during an orgy (something I'd forgotten) and it occurred to me with later information we had... that doesn't sound likely if she knew who the father was and was abandoned by him. (1/2)

This has a point that's relevant, sorry. What I was referring to is the post about Becky and how we don't know why she and Chuck broke up because there is conflicting info, so we have to make our best guess. In a weird way, "canon" isn't canon, because a surface text reading doesn't account for characters being disingenuous. We aren't told which is the lie and which is the truth every time, we kinda gotta figure it out for ourselves using what we make of the characters and additional context(2/2

Hi there! And if this isn’t a potentially loaded question, I don’t know what is. And it’s something that’s even been raised as a question in text on multiple occasions, which makes it a valid thing for us to question and carefully consider. You may have seen this old post I reblogged a little while ago with an addition about context:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/162709800125/mittensmorgul-i-offer-this-up-as-a-metaphor-for

Congrats, you’re the anon I was referring to in the little blurb at the bottom of that post :D

I’ll start by saying that yes, we know the characters are capable of lying. In 6.03, Dean tells this to Ben in plain words:

Dean: Ben, I know you're lying... Because I lie professionally, that's how. Now tell your mom that you broke the damn thing and take it like a man. Okay? Okay.

He lies professionally. In 5.03, he explains why he lies to Cas, by lying about it:

Dean: Seriously? You're going to walk in there and tell him the truth?Castiel: Why not?Dean: Because we're humans. And when humans want something really, really bad, we lie.Castiel: Why?Dean: Because that's how you become President.

Dean’s explanation of why they were going to lie to the cops was also a lie. Walking into the police station and politely informing them the gas station explosion was caused by an archangel taking his vessel would’ve resulted in them being either laughed out of the police station or locked up on a 72 hour involuntary psychiatric hold. Yet Dean didn’t need to explain that to the audience, because we’re supposed to understand that fact. That’s where critical thinking skills come into play. We understand the humor of what he said to Cas anyway, without having to be led by the hand and told that Dean was joking there.

So I’d argue with your assertion that “Canon isn’t canon because characters lie sometimes.” It’s all still canon, because the characters DID say these things, but it’s up to us if we accept or reject the surface text reading as honestly intended dialogue, or sarcasm, or humor, or a misdirection, or a warning that there’s something deeper happening beneath the surface layer text. Sometimes the surface layer text sets off alarm bells because it directly contradicts other facts that have already been established, and in those moments we’re SUPPOSED to react by yelling out at the TV, questioning the character’s motives for saying something we already understand to be incorrect, you know?

It’s still incorrect to assume that EVERYTHING the characters say is a lie, or untrustworthy, or unreliable. Just because a character CAN be unreliable as a narrator doesn’t mean that they’re ALWAYS unreliable as a narrator.

It’s our jobs as viewers to apply critical thinking skills, combined with our previously established understanding of the characters, and the information we already have about the situation the characters are dealing with on screen, and then interpret the subtext and visual narrative cues the show has established over more than a decade of telling us this story, and not just make willy-nilly random assumptions about scenes, but incorporate ALL of that into an educated assessment of what’s most likely.

Because despite all of that ^^, and the fact that multiple interpretations are certainly possible, and character motivations and unverifiable statements (like Rowena’s story of how Crowley was conceived, or even Crowley’s story of having sold his soul for “an extra three inches below the belt” since that’s another character statement I’ve personally always doubted) are more open to potential interpretation than things like entire plotlines and situations that are directly contradicted by events we have seen or will see with our own eyes, not all interpretations of those larger events are equally probable.

It reminds me of the scene in 2.14, after Sam-possessed-by-Meg told a very one-sided and hurtful version of the story of how her father had died, having been shot in the head by John Winchester, leaving room for Jo to doubt whether it had been an accident that her father could potentially have survived if John had tried to save him instead of shooting him. Meg was deliberately trying to upset Jo, and it worked, to an extent:

JO: I know demons lie, but ... do they ever tell the truth too?DEAN: Uh, um, yeah, sometimes, I guess. Especially if they know it'll mess with your head. (Another swig.) Why do you ask?

Thing is, your very first assumption there, that the characters lie all the time, is equally untenable. Because just as often as they lie, they DO tell the truth. Not everything they say is equally open to interpretation or doubt. For a random fun-fact, like the situation in which Crowley was conceived, didn’t affect the larger narrative. It only provided characterization for Rowena. This was how she CHOSE to present herself when we were first introduced to her, but then we watched her character develop over the next few seasons. We began to understand her, her history, her motivations.

We saw her less as a carefree villain and more as a woman who’d been used, abused, wronged, and who’d reinvented herself multiple times as she amassed the power to not only take back control over her own life, but in search of revenge against those who’d wronged her. In 11.09 we learned the painfully harsh truth about why she may have originally been so flippant about Crowley’s father. And again in 12.11 we learned yet more reasons why she’d carefully crafted her cool facade, during her conversation with the witch who’d once thought of Rowena as little more than a disposable sex toy. So understanding Rowena’s history with the benefit of later canon and context, it not only helps us understand that her original self-narrative was a lie in the first place, but it gives us the ability to understand why she would’ve told that particular lie about herself. This is how you write complex, three-dimensional characters with depth.

Now with the Chuck and Becky situation, we have learned many things over the years about both of those characters, as well. Ultimately it doesn’t matter to the narrative why they broke up, nor does it matter whether Becky was telling the truth about why. The only thing a varied interpretation on whether she was lying there could potentially change is how we feel about her as a character. Do we sympathize with her? Do we have a greater insight into her as a “person” and what her motivations in life may be? Does a varied interpretation also affect the way we view Chuck as a character, especially when taken through the lens of late s11 Chuck episodes where it’s confirmed not only that he was God all along, but also in 11.20 we see through Metatron’s questioning of him, his motivations, his entire autobiography, that Chuck was sort of veracity-impaired as well? Being able to question the veracity of Becky’s statements all those years before lends us a greater understanding of Chuck as a character, too. Especially once we understand the depth of his denial over the original act that made all of creation possible in the first place.

Ultimately it doesn’t affect the larger story, other than to support our understanding of the characters, and offer a depth to explore the characters more fully.

That’s just good writing. It forces us to question things, forces us to really think about things, and hits us on an emotional and sympathetic level that colors our interpretations.

If the narrative just came straight out and told us all these things, it would be boring. The characters wouldn’t be three dimensional. We wouldn’t be able to think about them as if they were real people. They’d just be paper cutouts with words written on them telling us exactly who they were and what their motives and intentions were. There’d be nothing to actively engage us in the narrative.

That said, this is why looking at isolated incidents out of context of the rest of the things we already know and understand about the characters will often lead to wonky interpretations that don’t really work when viewed in context with the rest of the narrative.

I think this kinda-sorta addresses your question? I hope? This is such a difficult topic to discuss, because it does introduce subjectivity into the narrative. The thing is (and this is partly where the concept of “meta” differs from “headcanon” or “speculation”), at least the way I approach it, meta is grounded in postmodern literary critique, and not just random commentary on random things without a foundational understanding of how stories are told.

Not everything is as open to interpretation as everything else. There are rules to this gig, and actual meta will at least acknowledge that those rules exist. :P

[justahappycloud]

Okokok you mean we're talking about Sanders Sides and Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, and you expect me not to start numerous headcanons about this?

Dude

So, Patton as Dirk is a supreme YES!!!!!!

Give me a Patton that collects bright coloured leather jackets to contrast the memories of grey walls and white overalls

Give me a Patton who's been tested to no end until breaking point, even after he's told all of those Blackwing scientists that he's not a psychic, and that it doesn't work like that

A Patton who all his life, the thing he'd wanted the most, was to have a good friend that wouldn't leave after discovering what he is, what he could do

Or to put it simply, one that wouldn't die...

Poor little Patton Heart, lived a whole life of responding to the tug of the Universe here and there, following the numerous hunches that took him towards countless dangers

But hey, he got to solve cases right?

He's always dreamed of being a detective, helping people out of kindness to turn his dreaded gift into something that could be beneficial for others even if that put him in lethal situations

But every detective needs a sidekick, right? So Patton always looked for that someone, the person who would stick with him through thick and thin, the one who would be his bestest friend on the entire world (or more?)

And he got it, when at the beginning of his (possibly) most important case in his professional history, he met Logan

I know what you're thinking, Logan Sanders as Todd Brotzman? But just think about it for a second

Logan takes none of Patton's bullshit. He has a brother to take care of, a life to put back on track that his insensitivity had thrown far off it's rails

Logan was a man of many dreams, of being the most recognized and important neurosurgeon of America, one who would solve problems when others found no answer

But sometimes... Studying science is hard man. Not bc he can't do it, but bc money and work can.... Be an issue

So he lied to his parents. Only once, he said to himself. After all, there's nothing wrong with a small portion of a slightly incorrect fact if it meant nobody got hurt, right?

And Logan needed the money....

So he told his parents he got pararibulitis, a terrible disease that ran in the Sanders family that made your brain react to inexistent dangers as if you were about to die

And money started to come, and it kept coming, and it kept coming

Until it didn't come anymore. And yeah, Logan did feel guilty of it, but he was about to graduate! He would have his degree, and it would all be worth it

Until his brother got sick

Then, Logan discovered there was no money left for his brother's meds (the ones Logan himself hadn't even taken once) and he felt his world falling apart.

So he told his parents he got better, that they could pay for his brother's treatment now!

But it was too late

They were bankrupt now.

And who's going to fill out the place of Amanda Brotzman, you say? The most special person in Logan's life?

Well, none other than Virgil Sanders himself.

Virgil loved Logan, he always has. Even when Logan left for Uni, and even when he got sick, and even when Virgil himself got sick and Logan had had to start working multiple jobs to pay for Virgil's medication.

He'd abandoned his dreams of being a neurosurgeon for him, got a shitty job at a pretentious hotel in Seattle just so he could go through this horrible disease.

But he would get better. After all, Logan did. If Logan could make it, then so could he

Right?

And so Logan got into the Perryman Grand Hotel

And so he got fired of the Perryman Grand Hotel

Bc apparently, being the one to discover a multiple murder scene is a certain way to get in the top three possible suspects

After this, Logan goes back to his apartment, defeated and already thinking how he'll get to pay rent and Virgil's meds

When he sees a weird guy, with round glasses and a huge smile, breaking in through his window with a way too cheerful "Hi"

And after they get into a weird fight (bc who the fuck breaks into another person's apartment like that???) he introduces himself as Patton, and says he's a holistic detective, claiming that Logan is his new assistent that's gonna help him solve the murder of a local billionaire while they follow the stream of creation

Obviously, Logan kicks him out, but after many encounters he decides it's better to follow this strange man than letting him screw his life appearing everywhere

And so they break into another man's house, steal a dog that's apparently also a girl, and rescue an ex-body guard that used to work for this billionaire guy's daughter

For some reason, he also seems to know Patton, which is... Strange, to Logan.

But well

This guy, better known for DGHDA fans as Farah Black is represented in our Sanders Sides universe by our favourite and most courageous prince

That's right, Roman Prince used to be Lydia Springs' body guard. He seems to be a bit eccentric, like Patton himself, but there's a certain lack of confidence in his actions below the theatrical and dramatic behaviour

Together, and with the occasional help of Virgil himself, the group is gonna get in the mission of solving Patrick Springs' murder, following Patton and the interconnectedness of all things, having Roman save their butts when he isn't trying to flirt with Virgil, and managing to pull each one of Logan's nerves as they push him over the edge of everything he thought he knew

Many things happen on the way, like the group discovering a soul-swapping cult, Logan beginning to like being the detective's friend, our main duo traveling in time, Roman finding his own strength, a group of psychic vampires following them everywhere, Virgil discovering his brother's lie and Patton meeting his past eye to eye

But it makes sense. At the end, everything makes sense

After all, everything is connected

And as a bonus, we can't forget about our other fav duo!!

Declan Adams is a tech guy who has no sense of morality

Y'know, when the bad guys pay higher than the good guys, who cares what they do with the tech he helps to fix? At least there's another day of food for him

(yeah, I couldn't resist the ken-deceit parallel, I mean, c'mon)

In one of these jobs that a weird tattoed cult have paid him to do, the guy who hired him gets killed by a feral man with a machete that's covered in blood and has wild eyes like an animal and oh no he's running towards him now

So Dee starts to run, throwing his computer away, as this guy chases him until the point of exhaustion (which, alright.... It's not that long until that happens)

While they fall down to the floor, both in terrible physical shape, the man gives him a single threat

With blood dripping from his ridiculous mustache, he says with a gutural voice

"I'm gonna kill you, Patton Heart"

"Who... the hell is Patton Heart?"

The man, who later introduced himself as Remus, tells Declan about his mission, how the Universe had told him he had to find Patton and apparently kill him, and that if he didn't wanna die he was going to help him find this guy

Bc that's what Remus did. He killed people, kidnapped others, do what the Universe told him to do: be a piranha in the stream of creation

And as they grow closer in their search of this Patton guy, Declan discovers that perhaps, having been kidnapped by this holistic assasin was the best thing that could've happened to him

(i'm so sorry i just have so many emotions about dghda and sanders sides, i'll shut up now)

“Poor, confused, dangerous, little Svlad Cjelli”

Dirk Gently AU with the sanders sides. Don’t worry, Patton’s not dead, just traumatized.