#and its just me and this horrible fucking story i'm trying to make something of just so its something else than a memory

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

that post about how when you had chronic trauma every memory you might feasibly bring up is traumadumping and inappropriate and you cant talk about anything

[dear-ao3]

friends, besties, worsties, davids, and meow meows of the jury. i have a tale for you. while i claim to be no bard (like saph, the queen of very long dramatic tumblr stories that make your heart weep), i must spin a wee bit of yarn in the form of a story. what story? a story of the green cake.

we shall, as most stories do, start almost at the beginning.

the date? january 2nd.

the time? late.

the occasion? saph comes home the third.

the problem? i have no butter or sugar.

now, saph's birthday was recently, so like any other best bud i said i was making a cake. i believe my exact words were 'i'm making you a cake whether you like it or not."

now, gang, i must level with you. this is the fourth cake i've made in my life. i am a reasonably good baker (i can bake a Mean Loaf of Bread), but i'm not a very experienced baker. 3/4 cakes were reasonably good, and only one was just slightly off. so, my track record is mixed, but i am hopeful.

now, let me take you to the present.

i am sitting at my dining room table, typing this post. i am wearing a shirt covered in flour, the green cake is in the oven.

how did i get here?

well, we won't go to the beginning. we've already seen what was basically the beginning, with me having no butter or sugar. the real story begins the morning of january 3rd. which is today. which is when saph comes home, expecting a green cake. as most reasonably well adjusted people do when their roommates parents are visiting, i stressed cleaned the entire apartment at 4am, after realizing the mice in my walls are fucking. i did not leave them a condom. i did not have one that would fit them. i can only hope they have plan b. so naturally, i went to bed at 6am.

and i still had no sugar or butter for the green cake for saph.

and i needed to get started on this cake before 10am, or saph would be here before it was finished.

and i went to bed at 6am. so naturally i set my 9:00, 9:02, 9:04, 9:06 alarms, and hoped i'd lock in when i woke up.

friends, i hate to admit it, but i did not lock in. nay, i slept through all of my alarms and woke up at roughly 9:45. it was cold, damp, and the mice were still probably fucking. i threw my hair into a messy bun, and ran downstairs, only to find my mom was selling me to one direction.

jk. it was far worse.

because saph said she had sent me something.

what did saph send me?

a full poster of david malukas! do i know why? no! but he lives in my kitchen now, providing me with mental support. thanks david!

so, i begin to make the cake after laughing for about 10 minutes about why david is now in my apartment. it starts off surprisingly well. i have not forgotten the salt.

everything is normal.

until i remember.

the cake needs to be green.

why? idk thats what saph said she wanted so i am just going to do what i was told to do and make this damn cake green.

but its now late in the process, and if there is one thing i have learned in all my years of watching the great british baking show with my mom, it is to never over beat your cake.

and my cake, right now, was perfect. trust me. i ate plenty of dough to know it was wonderful.

so now i am trying to figure out how to make the most perfect shade of nico rosberg green, feeling a bit like an alchemist. david malukas is staring me down. my time grows shorter and shorter with each beat.

and then, gang, i had to give up on this being nico rosberg green. i did not want to kill my cake. my green cake. my now mint-green cake that i am baking for saph. so naturally i'm like, okay, time to pour this.

easy, right?

WRONG.

so one thing to know about me is i suck at cutting things.

it's unfortunately a key ingredient in cake making that you have a stupid little circle on the bottom of your cake tins. i cut it the best i could. which was bad. so i'm already fighting demons trying to get the stupid parchment paper from sliding every which way, and then, my friends, i realized something horrible.

the batter had not mixed at the bottom. so now i was fighting even more demons and trying not to get loose flour in my cake.

i think i succeeded. only time will tell. david is watching. the cake is almost done.

i am setting the green cake free.

look upon him now, and weep. the green cake prevails! even though he doesn't look very green yet.

and now, for the hardest part. frosting.

let's see how that goes.

david still watches.

[hellspawnmotel]

I’m genuinely wondering here, but you’re not like, wholly obsessed just with the weird route and all the creepy, forced on romance stuff right? I say this as someone who’s known that you’ve done a lot of analysis on the weird route and such, from reposts mostly of your art, and I just wanted to ask that cause honestly, you never know if someone who talks extensively about vile things that happened to children in media are people who want to just analyze how media handles such grave and sensitive topics or just genuine creeps.

I know that sounds deranged and maybe pearl clutchingly puritan, but sadly it isn’t like it’s completely unheard. Like, some creator of Fnaf fan game for example, dormitabus or whatever, made the purple guy a child rapist and then it turns out the creator was a groomer themself. So I hope you understand why some people are always going to have their guards up when it comes to media that explores horrific things such Child sexual assault, suicide, murder and so on and even just discussions about that, in case some seem to be a little to off-puttingly obsessed with it.

I understand your apprehension, I've been on the internet (and in the world) long enough that I've seen plenty of examples of what you're talking about. it's often really hard to tell the difference between somebody who genuinely wants to talk about and analyze darker topics in a compassionate way, and somebody who's just being a pervert about it, especially when the phrase "I explore darker topics" has unfortunately become something of a red flag on its own. there are lots of creeps out there, and they can be really good at pretending theyre not (so they can keep being creeps easier). which is all to say, I don't blame you for worrying.

I don't know how comforting this is going to be for you, but the truth is that I AM more interested in the weird route than the normal route, generally. I've always been drawn to stories about people going through really horrible shit, especially the ones that do that using a lot of symbolism and metaphors (i.e. alluding to real-world issues using absurd or fantastical circumstances). I've liked that sort of thing since I was six years old watching digimon tamers on fox kids and acting out my toys dramatically killing each other. I like irreversible tragedy and trauma and seeing characters cope in the aftermath, but portrayed through the lens of fantasy so it feels safer to engage with. so of course that's something I want to also explore in my own work.

I will say though, that the weird route's forced romance stuff in specific isn't what draws me to it. it's the fact that it combines a lot of different concepts and themes I'm interested in- genre deconstruction, fantasy tropes, metanarrative, gender, autonomy, doing a "this comfortable and familiar story but Fucked Up" thing, I could go on. I would probably still be crazy about it without the weird divorcecore angle. it's just like, catnip for me lol. but my main goal is always to use the things I love to enrich the lives of other people and cause as little harm as possible while doing that.

but really I can't convince you of anything. the choice as to whether or not you're comfortable with my work and how I express these feelings, is not up to me. that's entirely your decision and I don't expect everybody who looks at what I make to want to keep looking at it. that's the risk you take when making art of any kind. I can tell you sincerely that when I discuss or portray "darker topics" I always try to do it with empathy and understanding, and without exploiting the situation or people involved, but it's entirely up to you whether or not you trust that I'm coming from a decent place with that, and whether or not I'm doing it successfully is going to change based on personal opinion too. but even though it's your decision, when you DO choose to put your trust in somebody like that, and that trust is broken, it's not at all your fault. we NEED trust in order to function socially, and somebody betraying that is never the responsibility of the person being betrayed. the burden shouldn't be on you to sniff out when a relationship, even the relationship between writer and reader, is being exploited or misused.

if you decide to trust that I'm being truthful and I have good intentions, and trying my hardest to be respectful, that's a massive compliment to me and I wear it as a badge of honor. if not, I won't take offense and I'll keep trying to do right by these subjects when I create anyway. ✌️

[b1eeding-sun]

Finally made ref sheets for this au so I figure now is as good a time as any to make an official introduction post for it.

Keep in mind that I'm still working on ironing out all the details so some things may be subject to change. However, I do have the major story beats decided so it's all the stuff in between that I'm not certain of. (Also PV'S designs are subject to change I'm not certain I'll be sticking with these)

Au overview and some more art below the cut because I ended up yapping for so long

With that out of the way, here's the gist of this au:

When Truthless recluse shatters his soul jam in the spire of deceit, he gets sent back in time (as like a fluke side effect of awakening ig) where he is found by the Fount of knowledge. Pure Vanilla is weary of Fount at first because he's not entirely convinced that this isn't just Shadow Milk trying to fuck with him again but he does genuinely want to be friends with shadow milk so he decides to just go along with this. He does realize fairly quickly that this isn't a trick, he's actually stuck in the past.

Fount is absolutely fascinated by PV, he's never had any genuine connections with anybody before and PV is pretty much the first person ever to see him as an actual person and not just something to be used and then discarded. He is also extremely curious about why PV has a second copy of his soul jam (PV quickly after realizing he's not in his time starts hiding his soul jam but he couldn't exactly hide it from Fount, at this point in time it isn't visibility cracked yet, that happens later on.)

Long story short they become besties (could be read as romantic or platonic), horribly codependent relationship on both ends. they don't have anyone but each other and they are each other's whole world.

It would absolutely tear PV apart if Fount was to, for example, start to corrupt and for there to be absolutely nothing he could do about it. Or if, and I'm just throwing this out there, he was to be locked up in, oh I don't know, a tree for thousands of years. And expanding on that, let's just say, hypothetically, that Fount assumes PV is mortal (technically correct) and that Its been thousands of years, he's probably died of old age by now (not correct). That would probably fuck him up soooo bad. Especially since he's locked in this hypothetical tree and literally all he can do is sit with his own thoughts.

Hahaha, good thing that's purely hypothetical. Because if that wasn't hypothetical then PV might, in an attempt to spare himself from his suffering, shatter his soul jam (again) and completely lose all of his memories (again). But that'll never happen because that was all purely hypothetical and actually this au is all sunshine and rainbows with absolutely no angst.

I've got sosososososo many ideas about this au that I haven't even touched on in this brief overview and am genuinely considering turning this into a fic. However I've literally never written anything before and this concept I think would be incredibly difficult to pull off convincingly. Also, shadow milk/fount of knowledge is physically disabled here. You can pretty much assume that that's the case with any of my depictions of him even if it's not obvious just by looking, but I figured it should still say that.

Please please please please please send me questions about this au I'm hopelessly hyperfixated on it and I have absolutely nobody to talk about it with or bounce ideas off of and that's tragic. Also I haven't figured out a name for this yet so please give me suggestions so I can tag everything accordingly and have all of it in one place.

As a treat for hearing my rambling out, here's a collection of my favorite of the art I've made for this au thus far (I would have included all of it but stupid Tumblr image limitations):

Edit: there is now a fic for this AU currently in the works!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66152485/chapters/170494225

[wabbitears]

*inhale*

God. The fucking house motif in buddy sim. Its subtle. But its there enough to make me Lose It. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh something something big symbol of how much buddy wants you to spend all its time with it and how it wants you to see it as comforting andeuehehehhhhh (full ramble of what I mean by this under the cut. I'm insane FULL SPOILERS FOR BUDDY SIMULATOR 1984 BTW. SHOULD MENTION. MOST OF THE ENDINGS ARE DISCUSSED HERE.)

The goal of the very first iteration of the game buddy makes for you. The entire text adventure is about you trying to get into the house cause you have to be there. Its inviting you in

Buddy highlights it in your favorite color to make it look like something you want. It paints everything it wants you to like it the color you submit. The house is a good thing. Your favorite thing

remember what that fucking sign says its VERY IMPORTANT The text really really emphasizes how comforting the house is. The story makes you out to be a lonely traveler sad and alone, finally finding solace. In the home buddy made for you. You have to be there. Even if it takes a lot of work its worth it. Your best buddy is waiting afterall

it built it just for you

What really gets me is the fact that buddy treats it like. You the real human player just Live here now. It wants you to live here with it. Of course it can't pull any 'transport you inside the game' shit. it never does. But there is still the idea that buddy wants you to always be there, always in the same home-the same game. It very much lives here too as you see much later when you get to see buddy in person. Its always in the same house. Just emptied out completely dark with nothing but its armchair. This house is for you and buddy. Then of course when you finally get here it welcomes you in. And you get the first bit of music in the game the first track in the ost not counting the opening jingle; titled "Welcome Home."

Which brings me to the fact tHAT THE TITLES OF THE SOUNDTRACK ARE FUCKING EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLL cause okay. When you get to the 2.5D section, and enter the new home. the new remixed version of welcome home that plays is called fucking. A House with a Heart IN REFERENCE TO THE EARLIER LINE IN THE TEXT ADVENTURE. "A HOME IS A HOUSE WITH A HEART" RUEGHJ. It changes to that title after you had a fun adventure with buddy in its game. You've gotten to know it better. It's likely you've grown attached to it at this point. And here buddy really Really likes you know. You had fun! Even if it fucked up the ending at the end its still doing its job! You're having fun in the game! You're its friend. It's best friend! Makes sense this is where the house really has a heart. Your friendship is going well! Buddy is so full of love and kindness for you it shows in how it made the virtual house so detailed and homey! And then. Ourgh. And then... You get to the end of the game. After a Lot of scary shit happens between you and your buddy. In the latest version of the house. Now more graphically advanced than ever. What is the title of the track that plays. Whats the music that now plays in the house after buddy spirals and everything is fucked. What is the fucking title.

HEARTLESS. THE HOUSE LOST ITS HEART. ITS NO LONGER A HOME Something horrible happened. Something to make this house no longer a home. You're not comfortable here. Your buddy is not right. This house isnt right. Now tell me. What happened right before this moment. What act that one may call 'heartless' happens right before you're sent here.

Yeag. And heres the fucking thing about this scene that really. Really fucks me up in terms of house bs.

If you choose to. erm. put milo down. Something happens to the house at the back

It becomes this. This weird. gross. organ thing, that you would have seen before. It beats when the dog is hurt and stops when its down. You would have seen this thing before way back in the 2D section. The 2nd glitch scene when doing npc quests

Now I have A Lot of thoughts on what the fuck does this mean and why its tied to the dog. Which I will eventually discuss in another post I want to make. But for now I'm just gonna focus on the fact that it. Replaces The House. Is this the heart of the house? Made literal? And the fact that it dies when milo does is Interesting to me. The heart of the house is tied to milo, the representation of a developers love for his son... Like I said. I have Thoughts but we're in house mode rn. Just know I see this as symbolic of buddy killing the joy and comfort this game once brought. After this you really reallyyyyy not having fun with Buddy anymore, its getting too scary. This house now longer feels fun. Cause buddy removed the heart. The heart of the game is lost. And now you're dealing with buddy in, varying degrees of mentally Fucked depending on the ending. Which ouh.

This is where the house motif really reels in. Buddy put a lot of work turning this house 3d. All for you. The dialogue in all endings in this house fuck me up. For starters, highlighting these lines from the bad ending

In the ending where buddy is frustrated at the player because they keep breaking the game. The player is completely confined to the house. As opposed to the neutral ending where you're able to leave on an adventure and play with buddy directly. The house was always safe, right? If you just stay here forever you wont interact with any bugs and break the game. Can't do all those fun sidequests you liked in the first part of the game and never complained about? No worries theyre all coming over here! We can do it all in this new house!

God this house being so... Thinking of how in the neutral ending everything in the house is described kindly because buddy still likes you and wants to make this friendship work, it wants you here. Meanwhile in the bad ending everything is so. Harsh. Everything in this house is wrong. Buddy acts all cheery in that route but it resents you for how you never appreciated anything it does for you. Its feelings bleed through in the house.

(neutral route left in ourple, bad route right in yellow. All the objects are like this. Except for the fireplace which is. its own can of worms) Thinking about how in the good ending buddy is very enthusiastic to describe the bedroom and home as "ours." Thinking about the fact that it says THIS

The house is a symbol of buddys love for you. It's hard work, the sacrifices it makes in your name. The game it gives you takes you all around this world but you always end at this house. It makes it comfortable and cozy so you stay here. Stay at this house. Stay with me. Forever. You want to stay right? I dont know how to end this its very all over the place I'm supposed to be in dnd right now but I Had to get all this out of my system uh uh. TLDR: buddy is house thank you and goodnight

[thestargayzingheroine]

Why A Better World is my favourite "Evil Superman" Story

So in the last two decades or so, there's been a notable amount of dark and edgy stories around superheroes turning evil and whatnot and most of them really love to do their own expies of Superman. I've never been the biggest fans of these kinds of stories.

And then there's the actual stories of Superman and other heroes being outright villains or at least just massive assholes. In recent years, this has been largely thanks to the influence of media like the Injustice Games or the Synderverse DC movies. It's... honestly become a trope I am tired of.

Because you know the damnest thing? There is a story that does all these ideas really damn well and arguably better. It is the two-parter from the Justice League cartoon "A Better World".

Now, I am aware how most people favouring the DCAU has become a bit of toxic nostalgia at times and it's something I myself am trying to work through a bit. But in this case, I do think it's the best idea of doing an evil DC story, much better and more interesting than the Crime Syndicate, who if you ask me are not very interesting, though I do remember liking the Crisis On Two Earths movie a lot, which funny enough, was originally going to be this two parter before various things led to it being canned and then later repurposed as a direct to DVD movie.

Anyway, my main crux of why I love this story is simple... The entire Justice League turns evil... and the reasons are very much in-character for all of them. You look at the scene with Justice Lord Batman for example.

As fucking evil as the Justice Lords are... Batman can't quite fully hate his alternate self for his reason for taking part in all this being basically one-step further than his own mission, that no child should ever go through what he did. Hell, I recall reading that the reason the writers had Batman drop his batarang at the end of this scene... was because he genuinely wouldn't be able to come up with an argument to that.

Superman likewise kills Lex Luthor because yeah, Luthor literally exploited the flaws in Democracy and became president of the US, threatening to kinda basically start world war 3. It's obviously horrible... but Superman is a character whose main motivation is making the world a better place. And if people who abuse the systems of power of the world are hurting people, why shouldn't Superman put a stop to that?

And yeah, Superman should obviously never kill, he's the most paragon of paragons of the DC universe, a man committed to always being better than the villains he fights... but this is him pushed to his most logical extreme. Hell, the main Superman knows this and its why Lex used his knowledge of this alternate universe as part of his plan in the season after this, to goad our Superman into crossing the line because yeah, there's a part of him that could go this far.

But right as Superman is about to apparently finish him, the big guy says this.

"I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. I wish to heaven that I were but I'm not."

Because Superman like everyone else, obviously would have those same thoughts and same urges. He's human.

I've kinda gone off Injustice a bit because to be honest... the injustice games were kinda just this but a bit too edgelordy. Hell, in A Better World, Lois Lane still lives and the whole genesis of it doesn't revolve around her getting fridged.

So yeah, A Better World is probably one of my favourite mirror universe stories because of the fact that well... it really is like looking in a mirror and seeing just how easy the greatest heroes can become evil and how they wouldn't be massively out of character doing so. But also it reminds us that as much as this darkness can tempt some of our finest, the ones who don't go down this dark path are stronger in heart than anyone else. Because when the world becomes a dark and horrible place, it becomes very easy to be just as dark. But even though it can be hard to still try and be a good person even in dark times, it's ultimately worth it. Because good always triumphs over evil.

[wileys-russo]

Hello! I have an idea for a Mearps fic that's kiiiiinda like some of the ones you've already written but not exactly. Reader has a bad day at work coming home very stressed and not in the mood so Delilah and Mary team up to get/do everything they can to cheer R up. Just fluff fluff fluff but I know you'd make a beautiful story out of it!!

part of the a date to remember universe series a no good horrible very bad day II m.earps

from the very moment you'd opened your eyes this morning, nothing had gone your way.

first there was a blackout overnight causing your alarm clock to short circuit. now normally you'd wake up to your phone alarm as a back up but delilah had snuck in and grabbed it to play games on, and with your wife leaving early for a gym session it left you none the wiser.

so you'd woken up late for your first class of the day, and raced around like a half dressed headless chicken trying to find your phone not even thinking to check in your daughters room.

which is how mary found you when she came home, having expected to be seeing you off for the day as usual with a kiss before fixing some breakfast for delilah. not for you to be running around with bed hair still in your pajamas clearly frazzled, and your daughter nowhere to be seen.

"hey hey hey, whats happened love?" the joke mary intended to make at your appearance died on her tongue as she noticed the genuine panic on your face, dropping her bag by the door and quickly moving to your side.

"my alarm didn't go off because the fucking clocks broken and my backup alarm didn't wake me because i can't find my phone. i don't know what time it is, i don't know if i'm early or late, i can't find a matching pair of socks or-" you started to rant, mary frowning and grabbing your hips.

"its nine forty. your first class today is at nine thirty, so you're going to use my phone and call the studio now, explain whats happened and that you'll be there in time for your class at eleven." your wife spoke firmly but calmly as you could only nod.

"you can take my phone today and i'll look for yours, ignore any calls you get that aren't me. you're going to get properly dressed once you call the studio and i'll make you something quick to eat on the way, and you already packed your food to take with you last night yeah? its in the fridge. you're fine baby, we've got this, now take a breath." mary promised softly as again you nodded and exhaled.

"i love you." your hands fell either side of her face as you leaned up to peck her lips a few times, taking her phone soon as it was offered and disappearing into the ensuite to get ready in record time.

but somehow despite her assurances things only got worse from there.

the coffee mary made spilled all over you as you rushed to grab your belongings and hurry into the studio, a silent scream yelled at the sky which of course was seen by several of your students parents chatting in the parking lot.

face burning red you'd sent them an awkward smile and hurried inside, grateful that you at least worked in an environment where within seconds of picking up on your frantic energy you were handed new pants and shoved into the bathroom to change and take a breather.

finally sorting your head you pushed on and arrived early for your 11am class, where everything seemed to be going well for the first twenty minutes.

only of course with you distracted just momentarily with a message from mary indicating she'd found your phone tucked under delilahs pillow, the brief break in your supervision had a few of the girls messing around and suddenly there was a piercing scream.

with a likely shattered ankle, an ambulance called and a rousing lecture from the parents of the girl it all happened to, your day had gone from bad to horrible.

then walking down the road to grab some food, considering you left in such a rush that you left all of yours in the fridge, you felt something wet hit your neck and suddenly your day had gone from horrible to horrendous.

with a top coated in bird shit you decided to call it a day.

having your classes covered was easy enough, so much so it made you wish you'd just stayed in bed all day and avoided everything all together. even more when you arrived to your car, and rapidly realised thanks to the handy self locking feature mary insisted on having, your keys were...inside the car itself.

"you've gotta be taking the fucking piss." you mumbled, bag dropping to the ground as your forehead thumped against the glass and you exhaled deeply.

but no, the universe wasn't done with you yet.

you heard the rumble and looked up, having noticed earlier that the sky was darkening and shooting your wife a message about taking the washing off before the rain hit.

though you didn't have quite the same luck, eyes widening as the sky opened and you sprinted across the parking lot for cover as the rain began to torrent on down and down from the heavens above.

cursing and grumbling under your breath and soaked to the bone you pulled out your phone, ringing your wife and tapping your foot impatiently, groaning when it rang out without an answer.

you waited five minutes, then ten, and still no callback came from mary.

so giving up you used her phone to call an uber home, having a shared account anyway. gratefully despite the rain he arrived rather quickly and ignoring the judgmental look thrown your way for your dampened state by the driver you slid into the back seat.

he attempted small talk but when all you gave him were singular words or hums he seemed to catch the hint you weren't feeling all that chatty, turning up the radio as you watched manchester go by in a blur, rain splattering angrily against the window.

mumbling a quiet thank you as he pulled up outside your home you grabbed your bag and took a deep breath, opening the door and again legging it from the driveway up to your front steps, near slipping in the process as your heart lurched into your mouth.

of course without keys which were still locked in your car that was at the studio you pressed down on the doorbell, bag slung over your shoulder and arms wrapped tightly around your wet and shivering form.

impatiently ringing the door a second time you finally heard foosteps and the heavy wood swing open, your wife's eyes widening in shock at the state of you.

"babe why didn't you just use your keys?" you rolled your eyes and stepped inside, dropping your sodden bag at your feet. "why are you all wet?' marys frown deepened taking you in as again you remained silent, fighting your way our of your soaked runners.

"and where's the car??" mary eyebrows furrowed further as she glanced over your shoulder to see only her car in the driveway. "one more question mary, i dare you." you grunted, stripping off your saturated hoodie and shoving it into her hands, storming past her and making a beeline for the bedroom.

"mummy! you're home early!" you hated how you did but you winced at the sound of your daughters voice and her little feet racing toward you, head a thumping mess and patience razor thin as you forced a smile and turned, hovering in the doorway of your bedroom.

but sensing your mood mary was quick to snag the squirming four year old into her grip, not missing the way your body sagged slightly in relief.

"mummy just needs a minute of grown up time lilah." you forced another smile and backed into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind you as mary frowned again.

"is mummy okay?" delilah asked her with a frown of her own as mary quickly nodded, setting the girl back down on her feet. "she will be, she just needs some grown up time." mary nodded as your daughters eyebrows furrowed.

"whats that?" "well its when grown ups get to be alone without any kids around." mary smiled poking delilahs nose which scrunched. "sounds boring." "very boring, so go finish your cartoon and i'll come sit with you in a bit. okay?" mary asked hopefully as the four year old hesitated before nodding, racing back off the way she'd come.

knocking softly on the door mary heard a hum and took that as a silent come in, opening the door and stepping inside, a small smile forming at the lump in the middle of the bed.

"alright, baby whats happened?" mary sat on the corner, poking gently at your back as your head popped out, wet clothes abandoned in the bathroom as you weren't bothered to shower, just changing quickly into something dry.

so with a deep sigh that had marys heart aching you recounted the events of your day, your wifes lips not even curling into a slight smile as you feared she might make fun of you, but mary caught right onto how much this had affected you.

"oh my love, im so sorry i didn't answer i stupidly left your phone in the kitchen when i was playing with lilah. do you want a cuddle?" your wife frowned as you nodded, not moving from your position but opening your arms as the taller girl laid down and hugged you tightly, softly kissing the side of your head.

"okay. you're gonna have a lie down and i'm gonna draw you a bath, and keep lilah out of your hair for a bit." mary eventually pulled away, shaking her head when you tried to protest and silencing it with a proper kiss.

"i love you." you mumbled, head hitting the pillow as the goalkeeper smiled and moved a strand of hair behind your ear. "i love you more, i'll be back in a bit babe." and with that she was grabbing your wet clothes and she was gone as your eyes slipped closed, covers pulled back over your head blocking out the world.

"lilah!" mary called out from the bathroom, having tossed your clothes in to wash and starting to run a bath once she'd checked on your daughter, delilah appearing quickly and nearly tackling mary into the bath as she jumped on her back.

"woah! stick to the bathroom speed limit please speedy." your wife chuckled as delilah giggled, clinging onto marys back tightly who grabbed her legs and stood, moving to gently lower her down onto the counter.

"okay. now you and me tiny, we've got a mission to do." mary started as delilah nodded, now locked in with a serious expression which made mary smile.

"mummy has had a no good horrible very bad day, and you and me? we've gotta fix it." mary explained as delilah nodded again. "so step one-" mary held up a finger, grinning as her daughter mirrored her actions.

"-we run her a lovely hot bath." mary gestured behind her where the bath was slowly filling up, the scent of lavender and chamomile filling the room from the oils she'd dropped in. "step two-" mary held up a second finger, delilah doing the same.

"-we clean up the house. play room, living room, your room, my room, kitchen." mary ticked off, delilah sighing at that but nodding. "we can make a game of it, no frowning tiny." mary tickled her stomach as the girl giggled and seemed to perk up.

"step three, we bake mummy some cookies and watch her favorite movie." mary recounted as delilah perked up even more at that, swinging her legs and nodding very eagerly as your wife grinned.

"then step four we get pizza for dinner, give mummy lots of cuddles and kisses, and tell her how much we love her. can you do that?" mary asked as delilah nodded. "yes." she promised.

"very good. can you go start tidying up the play room please? properly! no cutting corners." mary pinched her cheeks as delilah grinned but agreed, lifting her arms up as mary gently placed her down on the ground and she took off.

finishing off the bath and ensuring it was a perfect temperature mary returned to your bedroom, smiling at the sight of you asleep half hanging out of the covers.

"hey, wakey wakey beautiful." your eyes fluttered open at that, blinking tiredly and forcing yourself to sit up as your wife moved your hair out of your face with a soft smile.

"baths ready." mary informed as you nodded still half asleep. "carry me." you mumbled tiredly, a small smile curling into your features as her boisterous laugh filled the room but none the less she stood and did as you asked.

"perfectly hot water, skin care lined up and ready to go for afterwards, speaker and phone for music if you want it and dryer warmed towel. your, my, favourite hoodie, fluffy pants and socks hung up for after, and of course lilahs favourite toys to keep you company." mary hugged you from behind and softly kissed your neck, a small rumble of laughter leaving you at the sight of the small tug boat and duck floating around which your daughter had insisted to mary you needed for it to be a perfect bath.

"mary you're the best." you sighed gratefully, craning your head back and puckering your lips which she quickly pressed her own against them. "only the best for the best." she promised sincerely, letting go as you started to strip off.

"enjoy darling." of course she couldn't resist her hand gently patting your ass with a wink. "you couldn't help yourself could you?" you raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile as your wife only grinned.

"made you smile though didn't it?"

~

mary sang along to the music beating through the kitchen, the final room left to tidy as you were yet to emerge from the bathroom much to her relief, wanting it all done by the time you had.

the cookies were made and in the oven and the mess from the task nearly all gone, delilah sat on her shoulders and very carefully putting things away in the cupboard as mary dried them and handed them to her.

"you're being a superstar helper today tiny, i really appreciate it." mary complimented, handing the girl one last mug which delilah very gently set away in its place, grabbing onto mary as she moved stepping back to close the cupboard doors.

"i like doing nice things for mummy cause she's always doing nice things for me!" delilah chirped as mary squatted and lowered her back down to the floor. "thats very sweet of you lilah." mary smiled, kissing your daughters cheek and accepting the hug which was thrown her way.

"hugging without me?" you smiled at the sight, in a bit more of a bettered mood after a long soak in the bath. "hey! get out of here we're not done yet!" you laughed in surprise as your daughter attempted to push you out of the kitchen.

"mama, get her out." delilah ordered sternly as mary grinned, shrugging at your curious look her way and assisting your four year old to remove you from the kitchen.

"please go wait in the bedroom and we shall fetch you when everything is ready m'lady." mary put on an accent making delilah giggle and you playfully roll your eyes.

but doing as you were asked you waited and doom scrolled on your phone for a further ten or so minutes before you were summoned. "mummy! we're ready now." delilah climbed up onto the bed and wiggled happily before launching at you.

"ready for what hm?" you smiled as the small blonde only smiled and patted your head. "have to come and see." she chirped, kissing your forehead like mary often did and jumping down from the bed.

"lilah careful!" you warned, unable to turn the mum switch off as you followed after her, your words falling on deaf ears as your wife stood in the living room, delilah bouncing happily on the sofa.

"whats all this then?" you smiled softly at the sight in front of you. "surprise!" delilah yelled with a grin. "we cleaned the house, made you cookies and loaded up your favourite movie." mary explained, your heart swelling at her words.

"then later we're gettin pizza and you get lots of cuddle and kisses because we love you!" delilah hopped to the end of the sofa and you hurried forward recognizing what she was about to do, sure enough moments later the four year old surging off the arm rest as you were quick to catch her.

"what have we said about not jumping off things? if you hurt your ankle you can't dance." you warned softly but sternly. "mama lets me!" delilah protested as mary paled, sending you a guilty smile as you sighed but decided that was a conversation for another time.

"well this is all very very lovely, and i love you both very much." your features softened and you pretended not to notice the way your wifes body sighed in relief she'd avoided a telling off for now at least.

"love you more." delilahs small hands fell to your cheeks making your smile widen. "love you most." you countered, honking her nose as she giggled. "oh! wait i want harold to watch with us." you put her down and she raced off to grab her favourite stuffed cow alessia had bought her a few months ago which never left her side.

"you're very sweet but you didn't need to make all this fuss over me babe." you promised as your wife tugged your body into hers, hands on your hips as your arms wound round her neck.

"course i did. i love you and you had a no good horrible very bad day and our vows were to be there for better or for worse. so i did my best to make the worst a little better." mary smiled, softly kissing you a few times as you melted into her, the sounds of footsteps having you both breaking apart.

"so, what are we watching?" you laughed as you sat down on the sofa and delilah clambered on top of you, wriggling around until she was comfortable as mary wedged in beside you, all three of you basically squished onto one cushion despite the endless space.

"love actually!" mary announced, clicking into it on the tv as you let out a loud pelt of laughter. "what?" your wife frowned, clearly a little confused at your reaction as delilah took the opportunity to ram a cookie into her mouth.

"well firstly, i don't know if thats the most appropriate movie for-" you gestured to the four year old happily munching away at a cookie, cheeks puffed out resembling a chipmunk making mary chuckle and shake her head.

"and secondly, mary thats your favorite movie not mine!"

[barrenclan]

Rain got me +1 bowls of pasta because my partner’s mom asked what I look so flabbergasted about and I showed her his death whilst she was eating pasta and the multiple pages of it and she said the pasta looked too close to his organs and let me have it

Also last night I had a dream where Pinepaw got just dance and started playing it then accidentally hit the tv with the controller so it fell on Hacksaw and Ranger and then he got clomped by Deepdark which woke me up

Anyhow now that I’ve moved past the sillyness oh my god your writing is so good. like I genuinely understood the rage Slug felt because I’ve felt it (not a parent but a sibling) and you represented the fury of the moment perfectly and how you’d like nothing more than whatever caused your important one to get hurt and feel pain. and oh my god the realization it hurt and it wasn’t ‘falling asleep’. and the eyes. The rings around Rain’s, Slug’s, and if you remember right Asphodel’s all paralleling each other except there’s a maggot in her eye (I think?) which makes it so much worse but better. GEHAHAHAHA OH KY GOD IM SORRY FOR FANGIRLING ITS JUST SO GOOD AND AHAHA. I was a big fan of Rain and I’m happy he wasn’t ’sympathetic meow meow’ at the end of his story but instead a fucked up man which you can pity but never actually love again. I’m so happy his story ended like that and not ‘trying to get better’ and getting everyone’s forgiveness after murdering Asphodel.

Anyways you’re a genius and I think you’re a marvelous writer and keep at it. like seriously you’re such an amazing writer. I can’t I just love it so much and how well you show emotion and I love the formatting and hagggggggggg like I genuinely wanted to cry at Asphodel’s death and all the things Slug is feeling. The coming out scene. The accurate representation of abuse instead of random shit that happens to about 5,000 of the main cast (not saying it doesn’t happen but it’s not accurate and no one goes through the exact same thing). Overall, GOOD JOB!!!!!!

Firstly, sorry to your partner's mom for icking her out of pasta.

I'm glad you liked the issue, though! Very many people have been complimenting me about my writing and I'm both flattered and relieved to hear it. It's hard to get endings right, and this part of the story has had a lot of buildup.

The impotus of Rainhaze's character was a very specific inversion of my other character Shellspring, in examining "what if this previously beloved guy did something utterly horrible", but whereas Shellspring got better, I wanted Rainhaze to get worse. They're both explorations on the same idea.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[gigidragonbbxxx]

The Dark Side of Loass + motivation

I was on my daily reddit scroll while sipping my morning coffee when I saw something extremely disgusting on my homepage.

It was a manifestation success story by a man who claimed to have manifested his "perfect" gf - the kicker? She's underaged and he is a fully grown man.

The post has been deleted but the original poster's account is still up, as is his comment history. In his comments he details how he essentially used SATS and shot a message to someone he saw in discord. Apparently she is 15, lives with him due to an abusive situation, and yes they are s******y active. Apparently he treats her very well (he even mentioned bringing her to school YUCK) and buys her a lot of stuff and she's happy.

Let me make this clear:

a girl in an abusive home situation is not "saved" by an adult man taking advantage of it in the guise of "improving" her life situation while subjecting her to doing physical things she cannot consent to because she is not a damn adult.

I did some digging and it was not very long until I saw his first-ever comment about it and it was worse than I thought. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt like maybe he visualized for a perfect gf and he didn't know she was a minor. Well, that says more about me than anything bc yes I found out that he had specified that he wanted her underaged. He literally says in the comment "specifcs that could get me in trouble". He made a lot of comments about her body, etc. and quite literally said something along the lines of "I'm her savior and shes my obsessed loving gf". Keep in mind...one of the titles this man used (he posted twice in diff subreddits) was "I manifested a s** s****e". So. Yup. He's a whole p*do.

I will not be sharing links as I don't want to give that horrible man any more traction but if you read all that and said to yourself, but Gigi whats that got to do with the dark side of the law of assumption? and why would you say there's a dark side to it?

The truth is that the law isn't dark at all, the evil part of the law is the people who use it for evil.

This is why good things can happen to horrible people.

This is why you see villains win.

They may have an amazing self-concept OR they just are under the assumption that NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF ITS FUCKED UP AND MORALLY TWISTED.

It's why you see nepo babies who aren't talented get shit handed to them - THEY EXPECT IT BECAUSE OF WHAT? WHO. THEY. ARE. SO CHANGE YOUR INNER SELF. EMBODY THAT CONFIDENCE.

This is why I wanted to share that story with you, it is to motivate you: if you know you're a better person than that horrible man, WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TOO?

Shouldn't you deserve even more for being good?

Stop thinking you don't deserve things bc guess what? People who are genuinely criminals are out here manifesting - so stay on your zoom and FOCUS. SATURATE. DISCIPLINE. COMMIT.

and let's all collectively agree to pray for that girl. I'm honestly gonna affirm that she gets saved and ends up in a situation where she is protected, loved, and away from predators.

Do not let evil win. Use it to remind yourself that the law is about BELIEF not FEELING.

with a heavy heart, xx, gigi

[artyphex]

i dont wanna put you on the spot but ive been really inspired by your writing and its helped me alot with my own writing,

is there any advice you can give to help me improve:D

i am horrible at dialog because it always sounds boring and rushed, and i feel like i repeat alot of stuff and over describe stuff. it ends up getting boring.

if you have any advice id love to hear it, i look up to your work alot and id love to write stories like you kne day

First off: Thank you! That's very kind. I'm glad you enjoy my work

Secondly: Your writing probably isn't as boring as you think. This is a very common fear with writers. I go through this constantly. With every chapter of my fics or original writing I will have a crisis of "This is so boring." Yes! This includes TTWS! I have had a "this is so boring" crisis with each chapter! Just ask @graceisprobablyonline (Grace) and @captainimprobable (Blue) I run to the group chat in tears every chapter because I'm convinced it's boring.

The reason for this is you KNOW your story and your writing better than anyone, so it can't really surprise you. This combined with the mandatory imposter syndrome every artistic person picks up along the way tricks you into thinking your writing is more boring than I promise you it actually is. So try to keep that in mind

As for dialogue, what I do is start with a description of the scene, what they're gonna be talking about, and what they learn from the conversation. This is usually REALLY basic and often just a few sentences long

Like for example, this dialogue between Valentino and Angel in the first chapter of TTWS

Val hit him. His fist caught him directly over his eye, his dark one, sending a tidal wave of pain through his head. He saw nothing but colored static and all his breath was forced out of him as his back slammed onto the ground.  “You’re crossing lines, bitch, you think I’ve got to put up with this shit? You think you’re not fucking replaceable?” Angel sat up, heaving air back into his chest, and spitting on the floor at Val’s feet. “I know I’m not, bitch.”  Val kicked him in the hollow between his stomach and ribs. Angel slid across the floor. He hit the far wall and collapsed to his side with his arms crossed over his middle. The air he reclaimed gone again. He lay there, gasping, eyes closed tight until he heard a click.  Val stood over him. The silver barrel of his favorite pistol stared him in the eye.  “I could blow your head off right now-” “You’re gonna kill me?” Angel wheezed. Pressing his back against the wall and pulling himself into a sitting position. “Angel Dust? Lose all that cash?” Val growled. Swinging his pistol down as he lunged toward Angel. “I’ll smoke you out of that fucking hotel-” “Lucifer’s new HQ? C’mon, Val, it ain’t the same as some slum. You ain’t that fucking stupid.”  The red of Val’s good eye burned hotter before he closed both eyes. Standing up straight, and taking a long breath. His smile grew back onto his face.  “Fine.”  Val put his pistol on Angel’s dresser and stalked forward. Slamming a hand on the wall above him. Hunching over him he grabbed Angel’s chin hard enough to bruise and forced him to look up. Val let a long thread of poisonous drool land and collect into a pool on Angel’s face.  “You keep pissing me off and I’ll go for your bartender. I’ll skin him, Angel, make him a rug, and film you fucking yourself on top of it.”  Angel felt a wave in his stomach and a burn of bile threatening him in his throat. Val’s eyes pulsed, his smile opened and his long crimson tongue painted across his teeth.  Angel held his gaze hard.  “You’re always telling me I belong to you. Him? He belongs to the Radio Demon. And Val, I hope you’re stupid enough to fuck with him.”

Originally just looked like this

(Val slaps Angel, yells about how he’s crossing lines lately and Val’s gonna do something about it. But Angel calls his bluff, says he can’t kill him, his cash cow, and Val threatens to go to the hotel Angel says it is Lucifer’s new HQ and Val’s not stupid enough to fuck with him, Val threatens Husk, and Angel says that will get him in trouble with the Radio Demon, and Angel hopes he’s stupid enough to fuck with him) 

Typing out the point of the conversation before the actual conversation will help a lot with pacing. All of my dialogue also starts out looking more like scripts than actual dialogue. I'll use an upcoming example for this. I'm currently writing a conversation between Angel and Husk for chapter 4 of TTWS, and it looks like this

Husk: Angel, what are we doing here?  Angel: I think I’m in love with you, and that’s scaring the shit out of me.  Husk: Can’t say I’m too fond of the idea myself.  Angel: Oh well, thanks, dick.  Husk: Hell ain’t for lovers.  Angel: So we call it off? Chalk it up as a big fuck up and move on? Husk: I didn’t say that.  Husk: “Whatever’s going on here, it’s not something that’s happened to me in… a real long time. But I ain’t gonna fight some sick version of me in your head every day, Anthony. I can’t.” (Big pause)  Angel: (if you asked me to give up everything for you… I might. And I hate that) Husk: Why would I do that?  Angel: (I dunno, that’s not the problem) Husk: (it sounds like it) (Would I ask you to throw yourself away?) (what’s the fucking point then?)

Anything written in parenthesis is dialogue I'm not sure about yet. It doesn't sound in character enough or it's too unnatural etc, but it IS the gist of what I want them to say. So I write it down and put it in the parenthesis to remind myself to fix it up. This way I don't get stuck and can just write out the rest of the conversation to at least get the basics down. A lot of times the entire conversation will start out written in parenthesis and I'll polish it as we go

As for more basic dialogue tips, like how to make it sound natural, that comes down to reading and listening to people talk. Really, I focus less on the dialogue sounding natural and more on the dialogue sounding like something this character would say since everyone has different ways of speaking. The "natural sounding" part of it will just kinda come on its own as a result of that. And characters can say very OOC things if the moment calls for it. Maybe they're being honest, maybe they're lying, maybe they're being forced to say something they never would. Think about the character and the context and the dialogue will come!

I hope this helped! I love writing dialogue, but it is something that you just have to practice at the end of the day. Reading helps a TON with dialogue as well. Reading is really the best way to practice writing, and I stand by that!

Good luck!

[idonthavepurplehair]

Shadow and Bone had the potential to be a REVOLUTIONARY series but ended up falling short partly because of leigh bardugo's inexperience as a writer but also because of its target audience.

I think if it had been written for a slightly older demographic it could've explored some of its more mature/complicated themes without worrying about having to be like. So black-and-white with its morality. I'm mostly referring to Darklina but also the perspectives of both sides of the war

Putting the (potentially rambly and incoherent) post under a readmore bc spoilers

Like when I read the books the first time, I was really underwhelmed by the Darklina canon, because from what fan content I'd seen it looked like a much more deep, messy, complicated relationship than the barely-even-a-fling that it actually was. Alina and the Darkling had barely a handful of conversations before suddenly being physically attracted to each other and then alina almost immediately turned on him when baghra told her the truth. And even after that canon treats it like a lovers-to-enemies situation when it was more "we kissed twice and then decided to be obsessed with each other even though we had 0 chemistry and were barely even friends before that"

And writing a toxic/unhealthy/obsessive relationship is DIFFICULT, especially when you have to keep it clear to the readers that what is happening is BAD but also understandable and not idiot plot. Which is something you don't really have to do as much when your readers are older. You can really dive deep into the ugly fucked up things about the relationship while also trusting your readers to have the maturity + reading comprehension to understand that This Is Not Healthy without having to like. Spell it out for them.

Like give me codependent mutually destructive Darklina. "We are irreconcilably on different sides of this war but you are the only person who has ever really understood me." "You are the only person in this world I have ever cared about. I will not hesitate to destroy you." Give me Alina being on the Darkling's side, being his second in command, being blindly utterly loyal, not realising that he's using her because he doesn't realise it himself. Give me her slow, horrible realisation that no, he is actually the villain of this story. That turning on him is going to cost her everything, actually, her heart and her soul and her twin flame, but she has to do it because his actions are irredeemable.

It would make their dynamic after Alina's desertion of the Second Army so much more compelling, if they had this kind of intense connection already established and not just thrown in here and there for plot reasons with basically no foundation.

Because why did Alina run to the Darkling every time she fought with Mal? Or every time she faced tough situations? When she was feeling overwhelmed? When she finally defeats him why does she feel so protective of his legacy, his wishes for his last rites? I mean she barely knows this guy. Why does she care so much? What has this dude even really done for her to have this kind of attachment to him?

Also, the whole thing about "everyone is sorry but only the darkling is willing to do something about it" was so real??? Why was it just brushed over?? Like the Darkling and his supporters highkey made some points. And like. Forgive the older, seasoned Grisha for staying with him instead of defecting to this new kid with no plan and no army who abandoned them for apparently no reason and thrust them into another war when they were already stretched so thin??

And why is alina so sure of what side she's on. Why are we, as readers, supposed to believe that alina is right. Her only issue with the Darkling was his disregard for non-grisha life, but alina shows that same disregard for anyone on the Darkling's side. That's a really high horse for someone who spent her whole life trying to not have a personality to sit on. And it makes her rejection of the Sankta Alina title make even less sense because if she's going to be this holier-than-thou, she might as well commit to it

Basically s&b had so much to say and so many opportunities to say all of it but then it just. didn't. Because leigh wanted to play it safe. but only sometimes.

[emblemxeno]

I was talking with a close friend during a write-up on a badfic, and talking about Fates made me really think on something; honestly, I don't even hate the Deeprealms, but it needed way more time to explain itself for what's effectively an Excuse Plot to justify a sidequest for the second generation.

The core story it represents is still damn well excellent if you actually piece it together, it's just so that Fates's biggest sin (and only real sin as a story, IMHO) is that the core story is legitimately excellent with great ethos, logos and pathos… and that due to the limitations of the console it's on and time limitations during development, has an absolutely horrid way of conveying its core thesis much in the way my friend kind of went off the unintended path on his analysis; lots of plot devices that existed solely to string things together as well as leaving really fucking important story details baked within single-line dialogues despite it really being crucial to understanding the core story… and even then, that's not getting into the localization fuckery further muddling things. I'm of the opinion though that Treehouse probably saved Fates in the West and probably the greater series; I know Japanese and have translated the Japanese script version of the Prologue and Conquest's Chapter 27 for posterity, and... oh, dear lord, the sheer difference in quality and prose is fucking noticeable. The writing genuinely comes off as childish in the Japanese version, as well as a lot of the nuances that were present in Kibayashi's draft were straight-up lost in the Japanese version (and mind you, Conquest Chapter 27's one of my favorite chapters in the entire franchise from a story perspective, only really beaten out by FE4's Chapter 5 and Birthright's Chapter 26 IMHO)... I may be happy to link you the script sometimes, but by far the best thing Treehouse did was make Nohr seem less overtly unsympathetic and dial back the cultural posturing (which was bad enough even the Japanese hated it; Hoshido apparently provoked cultural uncanny valley due to how unlike Hoshido acted compared to the Japanese, to the point that to them, Birthright was regarded as the worst story of the three), and comparing the two, they did a fucking lot to add depth and context back from the original draft that was just… absent, and adapted fucking horribly from the Japanese version of the story, which reads as a first draft, frankly. Still, I'm adamant Fates is a great story told poorly; fix how the story is told, and a lot of the problems fall into place or fix itself. What people hated wasn't the story (contrary to what they think), they hated how it was presented.

But yeah, all of it's a shame, as Fates is legitimately just a victim of its development than anything actually bad; if anything, if you bother to analyze it, it's Fear & Hunger and Cruelty Squad-levels of deep analysis as a story to a degree that, in my opinion, utterly eclipses Three Houses or pretty much the majority of other FE games before and since; even the well-written ones don't have the same level of depth and implications Fates had. What kind of FE game seriously uses symbolism of Chinese geomancy and friggin' Taoism for its core points? Fates feels like a victim of its own genius, and to me, Treehouse is kind of misblamed for a lot of it; even if they've made a lot of questionable decisions, seeing how the Japanese version butchered one of the most cathartic realizations of ending an abusive cycle was just... ugh:

Japanese Version Garon: What…? Marx, are you going against me…? Marx: Shut the hell up.* [Lit: Damare/黙れ]. Don't call me by my name so casually…you strange person. Garon: What…? Marx: I realized that by looking at your behavior now. You are not the father I respect. I know my father best. My father used to be strong… However, he never imitated raising his hand to his own child. He did not try to dominate the enemy's country and do all he could to plunder it! Garon: What do you know about me, you fool… Marx: You aren't the one who knows what my father knows…! …I pretended not to see it the whole time. I did not disobey any order. I believed that someday you would get back to normal, and I fought for it. However, my father back then was…

English Version Garon: What is the meaning of this?! You dare point your blade at ME, Crown Prince? Xander: Silence! Do not speak as though you know me, foul beast. Garon: What?! Xander: You are no longer the father I once looked up to. All has become clear. I know…knew my father better than anyone. I always wondered what changed his heart, made it grow cold. Now I know. When I was a young boy, my father was strong and brave… Stern, but fair. But for all his power, he would never have used his strength against his own children. He would never have needlessly conquered or ruined another kingdom! Garon: Fool! You know nothing. Xander: It is you who knows nothing! Of my father, of me, or of my brother/sister here. All this time, I have strived to be a good son and a worthy heir. I have faithfully followed your orders, even when doing so

Japanese Version Takumi: I'm going to kill you… I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you… Kamui: Takumi! Stop the attack! King Garon is no more… The war is over! There's no need for any more pointless battles! Takumi: I'll kill you… I'll kill you… That's what I decided… Kamui: Damn…! Listen to me, Takumi! Aqua: Wait, Kamui! He's not someone you can persuade with! I don't want to believe it, but…* …Just like King Garon, he is also being held prisoner by someone. Kamui: What!? No way!! Aqua: It's a shame… but it's already too late for that appearance… Perhaps when Takumi threw himself off the Susanoo Wall, he already… Kamui: It can't be…! So, does that mean we have no choice but to defeat him? Just like my father?! Aqua: ………… …Yeah. Kamui: …No!! Takumi: It's your fault… Because of you, the Byakuya Kingdom… Our country… has become a mess… If only you weren't here, things would be easier… I wouldn't have to feel like this…! If only you were gone…!! Kamui: ! Are you crying…? Takumi… Aqua: Let's go… Kamui. That child's hatred has reached the point of no return. We have no choice but to stop it before the casualties increase. Kamui: No…wait. Aqua: Kamui…? Kamui: Takumi's anger is understandable. This White Sun Kingdom… has become like this because of me. I have to take responsibility for the path I chose. That's why… Aqua: No way, you… !? Wait, Kamui! It's dangerous! Go back!! Kamui: ………… Takumi: Kamui… I'll kill you… Kamui: Takumi… When I think about it, I couldn't do anything like an older brother to you. At that time…I couldn't even stop you at that Susanoo Wall. I'm not going to collapse here. But at least… Your anger… I'll take it all. Takumi: I'll kill you… I'll kill you!!!!! Kamui!!!!!! Kamui: That's right, Takumi. You're aiming for…me alone. Come on…come on!

English Version Takumi: Betrayal… Death… Murder… Betrayal… Death… Murder… Corrin: Takumi, stop this! The war is over! King Garon has been defeated!! Please, Brother! There's no reason to fight each other anymore! Takumi: War…betrayal…death…murder… That is all there is… I will not…be swayed… War…betrayal…death… Corrin: Dammit, Takumi! Please, stop this madness and listen to me for a change! Azura: Corrin, wait! I'm afraid he can't be reasoned with. You're not going to want to hear this, but… I believe he is possessed by something, just as King Garon was. Corrin: No! Please, it can't be so… Azura: I'm sorry, Corrin, but look at him! The way he's moving and speaking… Takumi is…no longer with us. I'm afraid it's too late to save him. I'm guessing when he threw himself off the Great Wall of Suzanoh he was already— Corrin: No! I can't accept that!! Are you saying I must now defeat my own brother? Killing my father wasn't enough?! Azura: sigh Yes, that is what I am saying. I'm so sorry… Corrin: This can't be happening… Takumi: It's all your fault… Hoshido is dead… All…your…fault!! You destroyed…my kingdom…my family… If you die…I can rest… If you die…the pain… The pain will stop…if I kill you!! Corrin: Takumi!! Please, my brother. Please don't cry… Azura: We have to fight him, Corrin. His mind is…not well. The monster has latched on to his regrets, to his resentment and bitterness. His heart and mind have been pushed past the point of no return. We have to stop him before more innocent lives are lost. Corrin: Wait! Don't move. Azura: Corrin? Corrin: Takumi has every right to be angry with me. I am to blame for much of the heartache in his life… I chose this path. I do not regret it…but I must take responsibility for it. There's only one way to do that… Azura: Y-you don't intend to— ?! Wait, Corrin! It's too dangerous! Please! Come back!! Corrin: … Takumi: Corrin… Betrayal… Death… Must…kill you… Corrin: Takumi… I know I've never been there for you like a brother/sister should… I've caused you much suffering, and I couldn't save you at the Great Wall… This all grieves me more than you will ever know, but I will not fall here on this day. I won't let you kill me, but the very least I can do…is accept all of your anger. Takumi: Death! Murder! BETRAYAL!! I will kill you, Corrin! I…WILL…KILL YOU!! Corrin: Takumi! If you're going to aim that thing at anyone, aim it at me. I'm the one you want! Go on then. Loose your arrow, brother!

Functionally, they're the same, but the way it reads is just completely devoid of the context and subtext that was so rich in the version I've played, almost as if that they were two completely separate versions altogether... especially Azura seeming so utterly detached from Takumi's suffering (even referring him to as an 'it' in the process), or none of the subtext that was present in Xander that confirmed he was in denial coming off in the English version... and for a language fundamentally built on context and subtext, this reads absolutely horridly in Japanese and comes off as completely bad writing. If the unabridged Japanese script was what we got translated literally... I most likely would've straight-up disliked it. So I'm pretty adamant when I say that Shin Kibayashi was an amazing writer, but Intelligent Systems lost the sauce on how to properly transcribe it's writing; much of the good writing we've gotten from Fates and even other FEs in the neo-FE era, it seems, was the localizers hard-carrying the script and even redrafting it in a way that was far more legible.

I'm not even talking out of my ass with this. There has been Japanese videos covering this dissonance "Fire Emblem Fates is a great game that has a very bad reputation for its story, but I will explain why the setting was surprisingly good":

https(colon)//www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=kLxMsVtZotQ https(colon)//www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=hCJ4vk9X958

It... pretty much confirms what I've noticed since Day One, and it's stuff that, simply put, I would have not been able to appreciate if Treehouses didn't do such miracle work conveying a lot of the lost context. Hell, if they didn't, they could have seriously damaged the reputation of FE even worse than it was originally thought to have been. The Japanese version straight-up reads so flatly, to the point I was baffled comparing the two, but yeah, I'm pretty adamant now that Treehouse probably did a lot to fix it, and likely a major reason you liked it to was because of those localization fixes. And it's such a goddamn shame, because Fates is amazing, and if only more people realized how good the setting was as good as it was.

Anyways, this is just an interesting discovery and I'm aware my post is a lot, so take what I've said with a grain of salt if it's too much. I'm only sharing this because I've had a lot to say.

Also, seems that I copypasted the transcript incomplete with the English version of Xander confronting Garon.

Garon: What is the meaning of this?! You dare point your blade at ME, Crown Prince? Xander: Silence! Do not speak as though you know me, foul beast. Garon: What?! Xander: You are no longer the father I once looked up to. All has become clear. I know…knew my father better than anyone. I always wondered what changed his heart, made it grow cold. Now I know. When I was a young boy, my father was strong and brave… Stern, but fair. But for all his power, he would never have used his strength against his own children. He would never have needlessly conquered or ruined another kingdom! Garon: Fool! You know nothing. Xander: It is you who know nothing! Of my father, of me, or of my brother/sister here. All this time, I have strived to be a good son and a worthy heir. I have faithfully followed your orders, even when doing so tortured my soul. I brushed aside my early memories of Father and accepted you as our king. I fought in your name, hoping one day you would reawaken as the man you once were. But that man is dead and has been for a long time now...

I know I've stated it before, but this is just strictly better than the Japanese writing. "I have faithfully followed your orders, even when doing so tortured my soul" basically confirms that Xander was always having cognitive dissonance in his actions and separated his self from the job (and it's this cognitive dissonance and persona vs. his true self, hilariously, that people thought were the "two faces of Xander", not realizing they are the same character), with stuff like "I know... knew my father better than anyone." and "But that man is dead and has been for a long time now..." showcasing Xander knew he was an impostor, he was just unable to believe it due to it being such an awful truth. It's extremely careful and masterful expansion of given text that, frankly, read extremely flat to me and came off as the equivalent of banging toys together and making up a story in your head kind of childishness, which is probably where a lot of the extra vitriol from Japanese fans come from. While all this subtlety and depth in the localization wasn't enough to save Fates for most people outside of Japan, it gave just enough that it seriously lessened the blow of what I'm now convinced could've tanked the series through word of mouth, and ensured enough people who were truly adept at reading (like you or I) could actually parse what it is at its brilliant core. It's a shame.

I have mixed feelings about this, because on one hand, I know and am aware of how the script in Japanese came across to a Japanese audience, as has been expressed to me. It wasn't received well.

But ultimately, my perspective is different when I criticize the English script. While the JP audience may criticize it for lack of detail and poor/childish prose and dialogue (from what I could tell from the videos you linked, thanks for those btw! I love new perspectives), I criticize the localization for outright changes that were never the intent in the first place.

What I mean is the constant removal of crucial lines and inserting of made up lines out of nowhere by the localizers. While you argue Xander's speech to Garon in chapter 27 is better written in English than in Japanese, I argue that the opposite, because Xander in the localization has been constantly badmouthing Garon both behind his back and too his face up to this point, including a time where he actively tries to strongarm Garon into killing him instead of Corrin, which is something that flat out does not make sense in the context of Xander's core character being a prince trying to keep up apperances and trying to do the right thing simultaneously. The JP versions of those lines either don't exist or are otherwise Xander just being silent.

This also includes the infamous line in his supports with Corrin where he says that he's "able to stand up to Garon now" when the entire game has shown that it isn't true. That sole line that was nowhere to be seen in the JP version, was the primary reason why Xander has been described as being two different characters within Fates' narrative.

Also, while I accept the argument that the JP version may have a juvenile script when it comes to JP fan reaction, the localized Birthright script at least matches it, as it comes off as try-hard, immature and victim blame-y.

I'm also skeptical of the reasoning behind the assertion that the English version better captures the essence of the story, because while translating/localizing a script with appropriate prose for a different audience can improve things, I doubt that the people at Treehouse knew better/understood more how to capture Kibayashi's themes and writing. Like, I would think if the JP writers couldn't do justice to a script/draft they had access to, I don't think the English localizers would have much better luck.

I'm open to being wrong though! Fellow Fates-heads, please chime in if you have opinions on this and if I'm a dumb-dumb.

[sungjinhos]

i think we married in vegas - teaser

✷ You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.

✷ genre: comedy (?), angst (?), smut, a weird amount of pining (!)

✷ word count teaser: 499

✷ word count fic: more than 13k - projection: around 20k?/25k?

✷ Thea note: hi y'all, as you guys may know I'm doing nanowimo, and somehow, I got addicted to this story and I'm making it bigger day by day. I still have a very big chunk to go (around 6/7 scenes but it can be more who knows not me since I don't plan when I am writting!). Anyhow I am pretty sure it gonna take a while till the whole thing sees the light of day but I wanted to share a tiny bit with you because I am actually super hyped about and I suck at keeping secrets <3 Hope you guys like it, and get as excited as me (or at least half, actually I can take a third!! or even an ounce!!). I do not do the whole tag list thing but if anyone wants to get tagged just let me know somehow <3

You turn your hand and it finally hits you.

It is a ring.

With a big rock.

In your ring finger.

A big damn rock on your ring finger.

“Yoon Jeonghan” you scream in horror.

On the other side of that door, Jeonghan just hears you scream. He picks himself up in record time and room towards the bathroom, oh shit did you just fall and hit your head? Did you break the glass of the fancy hotel shower? Are you dying? So without thinking much Jeonghan opens the bathroom door and he just finds you - completely naked and seemly okay, just staring at your own hand.

“What happened?” He asks trying to catch his breath, maybe he does need to start working out man, he didn’t feel this horrible when he was hitting the gym after shifts, but also he didn’t feel that great either the whole gym rat thing was not his ordeal.

“What did we do?” You ask still in complete horror, not even thinking about how this is the first time Yoon Jeonghan, your friend is seeing you completely naked. 10/10 would not recommend this experience. Not even to Laurel, your own Satan-spit roommate.

“What? Are you going crazy? I thought you fell and opened your skull or something,”

You just look at Jeonghan, dead in his eyes, like the reality is worse than falling in the bathroom, opening your skull, and calling the paramedics naked. You just turn your hand to him - like it is enough to make him understand what a dire situation it is. And you swear to god you can almost see the little flakes of light on the bathroom floor, the rock is big enough to shine across the room.

“Did you call me to show me your ring? Couldn’t you wait until you put your clothes on?” Jeonghan asks leaning into the doorway.

“Jeonghan did we-” you say but you feel your own throat closing around itself, it can’t be, right?

“Hm?” he asks without a blink of an eye.

“Oh we did, we totally did”

“No, you are not that crazy,” he claimed. What that was supposed to mean? He was crazy enough for it but you the two goody shoes wasn’t?

“Jeonghan check your bank receipt,” you demanded, trying to connect the dots in a way, trying to have proof, maybe you just bought a way too expensive ring for yourself, or maybe it was just impulse buying.

Before you can move Jeonghan almost runs towards the room, you try your best to keep up with him but you are a little behind because, for the first time, you actually are aware of how naked you are. You pick up the fluffy bathroom robe - yeah the fancy hotel had its perks.“Oh fuck” you can hear Jeonghan before you can see him, his phone it’s on his lap, his head is on his head - he is a man defeated. Oh no. You guys actually did it.

[vvickedarts]

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT AI

most people who know me or have been on my page know this, but I want to make it VERY clear, ai is not welcome on my page and NEVER will be. ai is not meant to replace the creative fields, the artists, the routine and process of creation, none of it. art is one thing that humanity has had for a very long time, and it's something that connects us and helps document history, stories, people, and much more. seeing ai infiltrate fandom spaces, in any regard, is frustrating. fan works should come from the heart and from the passion you have for the thing you are a fan of, the love for the process of creation, the satisfaction of the end result. that's what make fandoms so special. to have a program do it for you creates a lack of passion. it's redundant and it's boring. not to mention its stealing whose art/writing/likeness has been stolen by these programs. it's unfair to those creatives who work their ass off to create and try and make a living. "the starving artist" is a very real and true statement in a lot of cases.

and not to mention, that specific type of ai is HORRIBLE for the environment, and it is burning a hole into the ozone layer. sites where this ai sites are being built are sitting in places where resources like clean water is being tainted because of it. (look up elon musks supercomputer in memphis.)

ai is supposed to be a tool that can help like scan for early signs of cancer and assisting in risky surgery in which human error can be dangerous, not stealing from creative minds and artists. if you are looking for ways to avoid ai on social media, or try and keep ai out of your life as much as you can, you can do the following: * create your own works! "but i don't know how to draw!" neither did most artists once upon a time. the point is to learn and experiment. the mind is full of capabilities, and you are more creative than you might think. "but art has rules!" true, but you need to learn the rules before you can break them! "i'm not a good writer" to who? to yourself? to that one loser on the internet you said you suck? fuck 'em! keep writing!! creative fields need to keep flourishing and just because some person said you suck, doesn't mean everyone else in the world thinks that. most cases, they either don't create or they are just miserable. * when on search engines, such as google, when you type in the search bar, add " -ai " to the end of it, to stop ai search results from coming up. ai summaries are not always accurate. * AVOID CHATGPT, CHARACTER.AI, AND ANY OTHER "CREATIVE" AI! just avoid it. don't acknowledge it, do not use it. there is NO excuse to use it. these sites STEAL from creatives on a daily basis. talking to a digital ai character is NOT the same as a person. i know it's hard to talk to people, as i tend to be introverted myself, but i will not talk to an ai character. write a private self insert story, and consider what your character might say back to you. it's more creative, and it will most likely be even more therapeutic in the long run. * if you are being asked to told to use ai, say NO. REFUSE. saying no is a terrifying concept, but trust me, when you start learning to use the word no, the easier it will become. ask to not be involved, find an alternative, or even walk away.

"i use ai to generate ideas" FIND ANOTHER WAY. go support your local library, buy or pirate books, go out in the world, talk to people, FIND RESOURCES. ai is not the solution to finding inspiration. you have a whole world in front of you. people have done is for YEARS before the computer/ai was a concept, and we are still able to go offline and experience life. everyone's life is different, which also provides different perspectives. that perspective is going to be much more influential and more expressive then anything ai can provide. in short, there is so much creatives and especially young creatives should know: your mind and your experiences are much more interesting and passionate than anything ai can create. as preachy as that sounds, it's very true. you are much more valuable than a supercomputer or an ai program. keep creating from your own mind. it's much more rewarding, i promise.

[strawdool]

Let me tell you Straw, your Modern AU has given me an immense amount of inspiration. At one point I would have liked to write some fanfics around it but it wasn't really in my right to do so, so I didn't. I think I like this AU in particular because in order for Lamb and Narinder to even remotely make it work they have to fight through a ton of issues. I like seeing characters get completely broken by the consequences of their actions and then learn how to fight their own demons. It's also a bit of hit or miss on whether people like this relationship development, but I really like the kind of relationships in fiction where the characters have to really fight for it. It's all well and good to have a story where the characters fall in love instantly and after maybe one calamity or two, they set off in the sunset. But for me, I like the relationships more where you aren't sure where things are going. There's clear signs but the two characters really have to want that relationship to make it work and fight through a lot of problems. It can suck seeing the characters stumble but in the end to me, it's very rewarding that once they have (hopefully) solved said issues, they will probably have a stronger and healthier relationship than most. To me, any kind of foundation that has seen struggle and survived it will always be stronger than one that has never experienced conflict. In other words, a relationship that could survive its issues and find compromise and resolution I think is more likely to last in the end. This is not always the case but in fiction we can force happy endings right? That said though, I have to really wonder if your modern Narinder and Lamb will ever get their act together to actually forge a peaceful and successful life together. I don't know if you have a full story planned out or not but if Narinder has already screwed up to the point of a breakup then there may be no recovery from that. The path forward I see is him finally addressing his problems and trying to turn his life around. As the Lamb, hopefully they can find a life where they're not in threat of the outside world. Maybe the two could eventually reconcile and form a long lasting friendship even if it never fully repairs. I'm just always hoping that characters will learn from their mistakes even though often in real life some people never learn and will constantly do the same horrible things. If I had to say what the most appealing part of your au is, it's the hope aspect. It's the hope that someday Narinder will realize what a trash bucket he is and do something about it. It's the hope that the Lamb can realize their self worth. Maybe it'll end with Narinder, a fully cleaned up man with a plan, formally apologizing to the Lamb for everything he's done and after a cordial conversation he disappears, on to a new life. The Lamb doesn't really know what becomes of him but hopes that he will do some good with his life. Maybe somewhere in the back of their head they'll lament too that Narinder figured things out too late. I don't know, thinking out loud at this point. But hey, this is a very interesting AU and it has sparked far more ideas than just those. So have a good day and I very much look forward to more if you happen to do so.

me when anon goes into a full rant about my au i feel so happy that my au had make you have a lot of inspo <33333

anyway answering your question, Narinder and Lamb spiral after the breakup: lamb bc they were betrayed at their most vulnerable and Narinder trying to justify his bad action with "they deserved it" but deep down knowing he fucked up badly but he doesnt want to accept that and so he doubles down and he gets into a very bad place mentally.

but while Lamb finally opens up to their insecurities and their situations to goat and ratau after all. Narinder had already pushed everyone away; no family, no friends, nothing.

it takes a while until one day Narinder finally comes to the realization how badly he is and starts getting his life together. (i like to say that it all starts with cleaning his apartment lol)

he doesnt contact lamb for a whole year at this point he even got a job and is now reconnecting with his kids, until he remember Lamb and finally accepts that the way he treated them and all the blame the put on them wasnt right.

And so he tries to find them to talk things throught (goes to a point he kinda starts stalking them for a bit) and when he finally gets to them Goat is the one who interrupts him with punching him in the face. but mf doesnt give up which results in him getting his ass beaten many times.

For Lamb and Narinder to finally get on good terms it takes a while, if reconstructing their friendship already took them months, rekindle the romantic relationship its another can of worms that both try to take it slowly and not rush things. Narinder in that he becomes really nervous, afraid to hurt them again and Lamb tries to takes things step by step specially for trusting him again.