#and normal problems
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there's so many things in tsc that just come at you all at once, so it's hard to focus on just one thing to break down, but the most glaring thing that stood out to me is how hard it is to really put someone back together. especially someone so shattered that it's nigh impossible to glue them back and pray they don't crumble under your ministrations.
if jean is neil's foil, then jeremy is andrew's direct antithesis. whereas andrew is a steady bedrock because he's been broken too many times to know how to weather the storm, jeremy is too soft hands and an even softer soul. he cares and cares and cares. so empathetic and so gentle it almost breaks your heart. you pray for the impossibility that jeremy can survive knowing the truth because if he doesn't, then what hope does jean have? so you pray he can be steady too. that he can weather the storm as well. that he will not break when knowing that just under the surface lies shark-infested waters.
but then you remember the beginning. "even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you'd make that choice every time"
in every other universe, jean has not survived. but in every other universe, he did not have the trojans.
#aftg#all for the game#tsc#the sunshine court#im chewing through the wall in case anyone hasn't noticed#theres a...belief in me#that everything ive just read in the past few days wont sink in until it's too late to come back from#i cant even think about jean's abuse too clearly because literally what the fuck#a monstrous child cant even describe it#and oh my god jeremy jeremy + the trojans#the most normal people to ever normal#with normal lives#stresses#and normal problems#hate that for jean he's totally a fish in a sea of lambs#i cant believe this is still a sports drama#what the fuck. literally what the fuck.#tsc spoilers#jeremy knox#jean moreau
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[ORV] Happy (late) Father's Day to Han Myungoh. Spread the word for Men's Mental Health Awareness Month
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#han myungoh#han dareum#my drawing museum#there's a lot of men in ORV with mental problems but Han Meow Meow is my wife so I'll be representing him#also I thought he was a fitting character if I'm being honest#he's as cis of a man as you can get with any of the characters in ORV (pushing aside the jokes with him and being pregnant lmao)#which is usually the topic for these discussions. but anywho. take care of men's mental health#it's not just the cis men too (as much as I despise the arguments of people putting them or themselves down for it.)#(their feelings are valid even if it's not traditionally considered “masculine.”)#it's also the queer men. the trans. men all over the world of different identities and cultures#i sound like im preaching but genuinely speaking. lets talk about it more#normalizing toxic social norms can kill
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lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.
#like i'm always gonna operate from a place of kindness but i've had to deal w so many people who're bad at communication/confrontation#which led me to think i'm the problem#that i deserve to be given the silent treatment or dismissed disregarded belittled etc#that's j not true. i'm far from perfect but i think so few people deserve that kind of reaction. and my biggest revelation is i do not#even if people want to make me think i do / that their reaction is justified / that i'm a burden etc#my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me#does this make any sense to anyone. it's the end of the year and i'm reflecting on so many things#p
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Currently haunted by @dreamweave01's RotTMNT Separated AU. I couldn't stop thinking about Raph's backstory; it's so horrifying. I had to draw something about it.
Thanks for the shell reference, DW!
Went with the more pointy version of Raph's kraang hands, based on the baby CJ post:

#Raph gets the hug he deserves 😤#he can't apologize to his Leo. but he can apologize to this one#now whether or not he realizes he doesn't need to is an entirely different problem#posting this now before I can refine this sketch into oblivion any more#as per usual I overthought literally every word of dialogue here#tryna write what comes naturally but then i'm like “what if it only sounds normal to me though?”#this is my first time drawing the turtles with tails#i think i did okay?#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#tmnt#sketch#seperated au#comic#eggbem's art
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i am losing my entire shit right now, this single panel caused a nuclear disaster in my ig comments when someone said "halsin just saying 'astarion's partner' instead of his name feels icky"
which is such a fucking reach by itself but descended into this in about 5 seconds
#ramble#i keep getting older but the fandom bullshit never changes#i'm in pieces rn i am begging this person to get some real problems#i feel like it's an offence to even MENTION the pyramid of harm/hate on this???? like that's a Thing#but offhandedly referring to someone as 'person-you-know's partner' isn't a MIGROAGGRESSION IT'S A DESCRIPTOR SFDHDKSSDK#am i on shutter island. is this real#literally every job i've worked. 'oh xyz's girlfriend came in today'. 'i met so and so's partner yesterday'#HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO AN ADULT THAT CALLING SOMEONE 'PERSON'S PARTNER' IS A VERY NORMAL WAY TO REFER TO SOMEONE THE OTHER PERSON DON'T KNOW#i know it literally doesn't matter but as like. a storytelling thing#in my mind halsin has probably known astarion a LONG ASS time and he WOULD know dorian. he went to the wedding akfhdfh#ashe does not give enough of a shit to remember people's names. he's been at that arena for 30 years and forgets there's even a hockey side#ALSO IT'S NOT REAL#i need to put my face in some moss i'm dying
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need to be riding it until i literally cant hold myself up anymore from how shaky and fucked out i am and im sobbing into their neck while they tell me to be good and take it and use their grip on my hips to keep fucking me but Whatever
#feeling normal this evening hey guys#this is one of those posts i feel i may be embarrassed about in the morning#but that is not my problem#saber.speaks#dykeposting#dyke nsft#lesbian nsft#t4t nsft#femme nsft#femme posting#butchfemme
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JASON GRACE PLAYS LACROSSE AND TENNIS. I CAN'T AND WON'T BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS-
#also he loves physics and history 😭 it's canon#algebra too i think? i remember reading about how he found algebra interesting but I can't find where I read it#he also played mario party six with leo. he said it in blood of olympus#pjo artists do you see my vision??#i need more jason as a normal teenager :<#my boy would've THRIVED as a mortal overachiever student :(#the things he could've done and explored w in the mortal world....#heartbreaking considering that this is implying jason took as many subjects/activities as he could in edgarton around the time he heard the#sybil prophecy. to take his mind off of his problems. as a coping mechanism :((#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#trials of apollo#pjo toa#toa pjo#toa#hoo toa#heores of olympus#the trials of apollo#the burning maze
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I deeply dislike the voyager fandom trope where Kathryn is everyone's mom and Chakotay is the dad. (I love found family, I hate "nuclearized" found family) That woman is NOT everyone's mother. She is however Harry's mother. Which is even funnier because from what we know, Harry seems to have a perfectly healthy and good relationship with his actual mom. He did NOT need to be adopted by an insane middle-aged woman but BOOM now he's got mommy issues and it's literally his boss.
#trek thoughts#i have so many feelings on found family and especially within the voyager fmaily#I do think that besides the original series crew I'd say Voy is the most found family#purely cause they were fucking stuck with each other and NO ONE and NOTHING else for SEVEN years#me and my trauma bonded besties#but like they are NOT a nuclear family#actually they're sort of a more realistic family if you think about it cause they're horribly dysfunctional#also this is 99% of my problems with the majority of the fandom depictions of janeway/chakotay#those motherfuckers are not settling down and having two kids be so fucking for real#whatever they have going on is so much more sinister#also like tom is NOT that woman's son#b'elanna and kes have (to me) a “motherly” relationship with kathryn#but with b'elanna it's more like the female teachers I'd heavily and co-dependently imprint on as a teen cause I have mommy issues#more than a traditional mother-daughter thing#kes might have the healthiest “mother-daughter” relationship with kathryn lmao (also harry is kathryn's daughter and her son)#partially cause kathryn isn't her BOSS#we need to remember the power dynamics cause normal parent-child stuff have power dynamics but this is so much more#also not even getting into whatever the fuck seven and kathryn have going on that is sinister and beautiful and beyond fucked up and that#one is more like god and god's creation lmaoooo#voyager#kathryn janeway#harry kim#chakotay#b'elanna torres#kes#seven of nine#star trek
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He gets it.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Lucanis Dellamorte#the poll I reblogged today reminded me of this banter#of course I know Lucanis doesn't abstain and it turns out he's cute when he's tipsy#but somebody saying no to alcohol in my video game? that's still new#though I actually don't have a problem with other people having some as long as they're not pushing me to do it#or aren't weird afterwards#I can't help how I feel about that#buuut anyway#I'm actually still hoping somebody will gif that scene with Lucanis and Davrin discussing their jobs over drinks - it's a fun one#normally I'd do it myself but my graphics settings aren't the best for it
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Hc that by Illyrian standards Azriel is considered unattractive.
Illyrians are a more practical group, they’re strong and have traditions they want to follow. They live in cold mountains in camps. Strength and endurance is a top quality, and while Azriel embodies this— He doesn’t look it.
Illyrians want someone whose body reflects their strength. Huge arms, wide wings, tall and bearing tokens of war (scars but not too many scars because that then signifies defeat). Azriel is trained for reconnaissance. His job is to be unnoticeable, being a huge hulking figure doesn’t make that easy. He’s tall and large yes, but he’s not that ideal Illyrian man. Hes just slimmer that average and plays sneaky. Not the big bold way that they believe is honorable. So by the cultures standards, he’s not attractive.
Cassian and Rhys both know this, that their sworn brother is considered “unattractive” by their peers. They never really think about it because that’s their brother, you don’t go around agreeing that your partner in crime is ugly. (Also because he could totally kick their asses and hey you don’t call the guy who is covered in conscious shadows ugly)
It becomes irrelevant as azriel ends up sticking to his job and doesn’t have to often interact with large groups of Illyrians (that gets to be Cassians job).
On the flip side, other groups of fae need that man CARNALLY. What makes him unideal in Illyrian standards makes him the perfect man in theirs. Strong beyond what they could achieve, skilled, quick witted and mysterious—he’s a 10/10.
Rhys learns about this after Azriel makes a rare appearance at a large event to let Rhys know about a new development in one of his missions, the crowd immediately hones in on this hunk of a man. Later, Rhys has to deflect multiple offers of marriage from court nobles.
#Im on an azriel roll guys i love him#do I completely alter his character? yes but it’s for good guys…#I’ve got a pretty boy az agenda#something something the high lords and ladies + their seconds probably think azriel is absolutely stunning#he shows to intercourt events once in blue moon and they can’t be normal#even the high lords who are married and have mates and such thing have to admit he’s pretty fucking dashing#helion makes this everyone’s problem#somnas.rambles#somnas.writes#acotar#azriel shadowsinger#acotar azriel#azriel acotar#it’s that one meme#‘how big that dick?’ ‘small leave me alone’#a court of thorns and roses#this is probably insanely inaccurate within the canon of the story but do I gaf? no#HES MY FAVORITE DOLL ILL PLAY EITH HIM HIW I WANT#in my mind he’s kind of like Odysseus?#like it’s by Ancient Greek standards#Odysseus is an archer and trickster which is considered bad and disgraceful#Az is a spy and has to play it smart before he plays it rough#so while he’s still acknowledged as a damn strong Illyrian he’s not ideal#meanwhile cass is the standard
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Nelyo isn‘t very impressed with his new baby brother.
Its part III this if officially a series now!
part I & II
part IV
part V
part VI
#Maglor just won‘t shut up#he is very loud#Maedhros hates it#Nerdanel wants to comfort him but gets distracted because he IS very loud#is that normal?#Fëanor is trying#Maedhros at some point was definitely like yeah great so when is he gonna leave again?#anyway Finwe is supposed to meet feanorian grandbaby 2 if he ever calms down#my art#silmarillion#Nerdanel#Feanor#Maedhros#Maglor#feanor x nerdanel#feanorians#tolkien#silm art#I don’t love how this one turned out#this drawing gave me so many problems#SOMEONE just didn‘t want to cooperate#side profiles oof#I also hate drawing backgrounds and I don’t like what I did here#I‘m practicing character consistency with this series because I struggle so much with drawing the samecharacter design twice#Anyway I‘m actually challenging myself with lots of stuff I don’t like to draw to improve so there‘s that
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Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.
Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!
Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.
And what is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!
To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.
Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".
#thg#everlark#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#the hunger games#sorry i hope this one's not too harsh#i just has to let it out lol#I'm not saying people only like gale because they misunderstand SC's writing#obviously everyone has preferences and that's great snd normal#but SC wrote Katniss to have preferences too?#and those preferences are pretty subtle at times I'll admit#but sometimes they're so glaringly obvious#i struggle to empathize with people who don't understand these books and honestly that's a me problem#but it really is difficult when people seem to hate Katniss because she didn't make THEIR choices#okay rant over
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doodles of the jarchivst for instagram. be thankful that I am not spamming my blog with him he is my wife and I’m so normal about this podcast.
#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma fanart#jonathan sims#art#artists on tumblr#the magnus archive fanart#I’m so incredibly normal about him#definitely don’t think about this man daily#no fr it’s a problem#do i tag this as spoilers#guess I will haha#the Magnus archives spoilers#tma spoilers
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#you know what time it is babeey#vent#been feeling it and i just know its around the corner#like some creepy stalker#i dont understand why i gotta be like this man...#when i talk about it people dont seem to understand- “youre just lazy” or “stop making excuses”#RAAH#I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!! I WANT TO BE NORMAL!!#What the fuxk is wrong with me (i ask as i shove same problems onto comfort character) youre fucked up too joe#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#grunkle stan#comic
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Hey y'all, do you have any experience with the Visible app and arm band thing? I've been using the app for a month or so, and I think it's helping a little, but I don't have the arm band yet and I'm not sure how big a difference that will make. I think I probably should be tracking my heart rate, but I cannot overstate how much I get rings and bracelets caught on things, especially during flareups. Like getting beltloops caught on door handles but even more so, so I think maybe the arm band will be better for me?
#the person behind the yarn#I think having texts to my phone to say hey. sit down.#would maybe help#because at least this week that's been one of my main problems#not realizing my heart rate is shooting up until it's in the Bad Symptoms Zone#which for me is like. 160s standing still#I meant there is also the moderate symptoms zone (120-140s) but I keep missing when I'm in that zone???#idk why I am not noticing anymore but I am not anticipating getting sensitivity to that back soon#because I was off my meds for two months (because my doc said I didn't have the thing the meds were prescribed for)#not getting into details but last time I had one of these symptoms it took me like a year and a half to get back to baseline#I don't anticipate it taking that long this time because A. I have meds for it and B. I know to eat more salt#but uh. I do anticipate that while I will be feeling waaaay better than I have been in the last two months by like next week#I probably won't be back to what had been my normal for a few months#(last time this happened was the very first time I got sick twelve years ago)
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me and my personal demon manifested irl who is also my daughter on a adventure to find my other daughter
#eveline is back AU#ethan winters#eveline re7#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#eveline is like “lets kill chris redfield”#and ethan has to tell her no but it just makes him start considering it instead#ethan telling eveline all his problems and shes just like#“ok just kill all of them”#ethan showing eveline care and affection#eveline showing ethan to normalize having hatred and revenge in his heart and to never forgive or forget#i think shes funny#shes so messed up#eveline being a little demon brat to everyone except ethan is also extremly funny
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