#and so i can try shrooms to celebrate

[blackfem]

[hyukalyptus]

look at me — faerie!soobin x fem!human!reader

cw. soobin is a human-sized faerie with wings, chubby!reader has braces but that's rarely mentioned, reader has anxiety, reader needs to be high on shrooms to see/hear/touch soobin (it'll make sense i swear! ((dear god i hope it makes sense at least))), kissing, penetration (protection not mentioned), cunnilingus, nipple stuff, "baby," angsty ending, let me know if i missed anything. note. like i said, reader has to be high on shrooms to see, hear, and touch soobin, so technically they're both on drugs when they have sex, so caution if that makes you uncomfy. and oh surprise, surprise! very self indulgent. i've never written anything remotely fantasy so this is new territory for me and i'm super nervous for y'all to read it. but i hope y'all love it <3 wc. 7.2K

There she is again. Not many humans venture this far out into the woods, but I recognize her every time. Well, I recognize her aura. Typically, humans appear in a dream-like haze—I can make out what they look like and even hear what they’re saying. But when their hearts are weighed down, their aura overwhelms everything, blinding me to their true physical form.

My friends tease me for being so fascinated with humans, but I can’t help it. They’re delightful in their peculiar ways—bringing their lovers and friends for little celebrations, visiting us with their sweet treats and elixirs. They’re so distracted with joy, they hardly notice when we take some for ourselves. 

This human is different, though. She’s always alone, shrouded in a deep, stormy grey cloud that darkens every time she returns. For a moment, her aura softens as she rests at the edge of the creek, taking deep breaths while the storm eases into a fragile calm. But it never lasts. Within a week, she returns and the weight she carries seems heavier than before.

Today, she rushes to the creek bed, crouches by the water, and her weeps and cries are the loudest I’ve ever heard. She’s shaking. I creep closer, hoping to make anything out of her cloud, but nothing. Taking a seat on the moss on the other side of the creek, I simply watch her. Her cries crescendo into a gut-wrenching wail and I can’t take it anymore. 

I toss a small pebble into the creek, watching as orange flickers throughout her cloud—fear. After another, it turns a muddy blue—curious. It twists and turns in search of something and when she leans toward the water, I summon a gold shimmer into the creek, dancing across the ripples as it catches the light. Her gasp breaks the silence, and for the first time, I hear her voice, distant and fragile. 

“Oh my god.” 

A grin tugs at my lips. Her cloud has kept her hidden from me all this time, but I just know she’s absolutely adorable. A small pebble shoots out from her direction, falling into the water and I guide it to land right on top of the other two. When she tosses another in, I pause the current entirely, letting the surface hold still. Then, with a flick of my fingers, I release it with a bloop. And I hear a giggle. A giggle! It’s gorgeous. Like the first notes of my favorite song. 

“Hello?” She asks and I conjure a ripple in response. “Is someone there?” In the center of the creek, I create a circle of stillness, the current bending around it at my command. Inside it, I make it change color in an attempt to communicate with her. I add the gold shimmer back, trying to tell her—to scream at her—Yes! Yes, I’m here! I’m right here. But her cloud flares orange—panic—and she stumbles back. In a heartbeat, she’s gone, running away from our dell. 

Oh no. Shoving the heels of my hands into my eye sockets out of frustration, I shake my head. Oh no.

-

It’s been weeks. Every day, I return to watch the humans, hoping my favorite may return. Perhaps it was overwhelming for her—turning water gold that quickly. Regret gnaws at me as I pick a bit of a raspberry from under my nail from when I was harvesting them earlier. A rustle in the distance snaps me to attention, followed by the solid thud of something hitting the mossy ground. 

A human. Not the one I’ve been waiting for, but they catch my eye—curvy and stunning and flipping through a book. After a moment, they put it aside, sitting criss-cross on the creekbank, bending toward the water. 

“Hello?” She asks. Wait. I know that voice. I only heard it for a moment, but I’ve been dreaming about it so much recently, I’d recognize it anywhere now. She’s back! And I can see her! 

And she’s so incredibly beautiful, I can’t help but stare. I stumble toward the creek bed and she speaks again, “Hello?” I respond with a water ripple. 

“Hello, I’m here.” Speaking is useless, but I whisper under my breath anyway. 

“Are you the same…thing I was talking to a few weeks ago?” The water slowly turns a gold shimmer and she grins. “Can I ask you some questions?” The gold gets stronger. “Gold means yes?” The shimmer holds steady. “Am I speaking with the water?” I make it turn a deep, murky teal. “Does that mean no?” Gold. “A witch?” Teal. “A ghost?” Teal again. “An angel?” Teal. “A faerie?” 

Gold shimmer. I whisper, “Yes, yes,” proud of her for getting it. 

“A faerie?” She asks excitedly and I celebrate with her in the form of a water ripple. “Oh wow,” she whispers. “So you can hear me?” Gold. “Can you see me?” Ah, what do I do now? I can’t quite see her yet, but I definitely can see more of her than she can of me.

“Grey?” She’s silent for a moment, humming as she tries to understand. “You don’t know if you can see me?” Teal. “You can kinda see me?” Gold. “I can’t see you at all,” she mumbles. She looks up again, unsure where to look. “Did you know that?” It stays gold while she chuckles to herself. The sound of it is intoxicating—like the sound of leaves rustling in the wind or a bird chirping. It warms me from the inside out. 

“Where are you?” She asks. The current splits into two, flowing against each other and converging in a point aimed directly at me. As she follows the arrow with her eyes to look at me, her cloud clears fully and I can finally see her. For real this time. There’s still that angelic glow that won’t go away until the Veils have been lifted but I’m not so sure I’d want it to go away anyway. She’s absolutely, positively stunning. My breath is taken away. Her smile reaches her eyes and there’s something in her mouth—something I’ve never seen before, shiny and on every tooth. 

Her body curves and moves gloriously and she looks irresistibly soft and…sexy. And I don’t use that word often. I want to hold her, touch her, squeeze her, make her feel something, but she can’t even see me. Even if I tried, my touch would be nothing but the whisper of a ghost. 

Glancing down, her eyebrows furrow in confusion. She asks, “What does pink mean?” I shake my head to rid my thoughts of her and the water returns to its natural, clear, blue state. 

There’s a beat of silence. She awkwardly speaks up, “So, a faerie, huh?” Slowly, the calm pool turns gold again. “I’ve got some books about the Fae.” Bubbles rise in curiosity. “Are you a human-sized faerie?” Gold. 

“I think I may be a bit taller than you, though…” I whisper. I’m taller than most everyone in my village, so I can only assume I’m taller than her as well. 

“A lot of these books say you all hate humans,” she says matter-of-factly. 

The water turns a deep, angry red. “That’s a misconception!” I say with a grumpy giggle. Although, she’s not totally wrong. Most other faeries I know do hate humans, I suppose. I’m not sure why, though—they’re so sweet and cute. Us faeries tend to have a superiority complex. But that doesn’t mean we all have it out for the entirety of the human race. 

“Oh,” she says, holding her hands up. “Sorry.” I forgot she can’t hear me, so the water calms itself. “Do you hate humans?” I can’t make it teal fast enough. 

We spend hours in our woodland dell together—she watches as I make the water change colors, as I make flowers bloom in patterns, and as I talk with rabbits, asking them to bring me back berries and nuts. The way her eyes light up when I make the peonies bloom makes me feel like nothing else matters. I’d sit here for hours, building and blooming the garden of her dreams if I could—just to make her happy. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” She asks, sitting next to me on the creekbank now that we’re on the same side. The water constantly follows me to show her my location. 

“Of course,” I respond under my breath, hoping something might leak through into her realm. 

“Coming out here and talking to you…” she sighs. “Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.” She chuckles. “Like, what would someone think if they saw me giggling at the water?” I wish I could shatter the wall blocking her realm from mine, dissolving any of that hesitancy and uncertainty. “But it makes me feel sane. It’s the only time I feel like my world isn’t falling apart.” 

She’s told me all about her world—a stressful job, family problems, and constant crippling anxiety. I can’t imagine living in a world like hers. Humans fascinate me, yes, but I avoid the world they’ve created at all costs—booming cities absent from flora and fauna, no magic, lifeless but overwhelming at the same time. 

“That’s a new one,” she says, glancing down at the water. When she looks back up, guessing where my eyes are, she asks, “What does silver mean?”

“I’m sad,” I whisper. Almost at the exact same time, like we’re connected at the heart, we say,

“I wish you could hear me.”“I wish I could hear you.” 

As she fiddles with the green moss under her legs the water slowly turns a gold shimmer. I want that too. I want to talk to her, to feel her, hug her, kiss her. I want to be hers, to protect her from all that pain in her world. But my heart drops, the water steadily turning a sad silver again. I could never be that for her. 

“Why can’t I see you?” She asks, sadness laced in her voice. I conjure a gentle wind, making one of her books fly open, flipping to a page titled, The Fae and Humans: Perception and Interaction. Her head snaps toward the sound, curiosity pulling her closer. Slowly, she crouches and reads aloud, “There is an intricate balance of aural, visibility, touch, and the altered states required to bridge the divide between the Fae and human realms. Understanding the two key thresholds—The Veil of Sight and Sound and the Veil of Touch—are crucial when communicating with the Fae. 

“The Veil of Sight and Sound: Faeries exist on a frequency of reality imperceptible to humans. Under normal conditions, human vision and hearing cannot penetrate this Veil; however, certain factors can alter a human's perceptual capabilities. Mild intoxication induced by substances can create a temporary overlap between the human and faerie realms. In this state, humans can see and hear faeries in their true forms. 

“The Veil of Touch: Even when humans achieve the rare ability to see and hear faeries, the Veil of Touch presents a further barrier. While perception might align momentarily, the physical matter of faeries and humans does not naturally interact. For touch to occur, a human must enter a deeper altered state—one that further detaches them from their own plane.” 

Taking everything in, her lips barely move when she whispers, “Intoxication?” The water points toward a ring of mushrooms nestled at the edge of the creek. Each one has a delicate pearly white cap with faint iridescent streaks that catch the light like oil on water. The ring itself isn’t perfect; they grow unevenly, edges blending with soft moss and fallen leaves. They look relatively ordinary, but those iridescent streaks tell me they’re undeniably veil lanterns, a substance that lifts both veils for humans. Moving closer to the ring of mushrooms, she asks, “If I eat one of these, I’ll be able to see and hear you?” Gold shimmer. “How does it make me feel?” 

How do I put this? I make the water swirl in on itself in different directions while it turns different shades of blue and green. It spirals upward into a sphere that hovers for a moment before gracefully falling back to the creek. 

“Like I’m floating?” She asks curiously. Gold shimmer. She looks back at the mushrooms, her expression torn between hope and hesitation. “That doesn’t sound so bad,” she says softly, but her hand doesn’t move closer. Eventually, though, she plucks one out of the ground, holding it between her pointer finger and thumb, twirling it between her fingers. “Just one?”

“Just one,” I whisper under my breath as the water turns gold. Popping it in her mouth, I watch the soft aura that still surrounds her physical form turn a pretty relaxed yellow over the course of a few minutes. She talks to me as she lets the mushroom settle in—asking how long it’ll take or what happens if it doesn’t work.

“What if I’ve been making all this up in my head?” She chuckles to herself. “And I’ve been talking to a creek this whole time? How embarrassing would that be?” She rubs her hands over her face, groaning. “I can’t believe this,” she grumbles, curling into herself, her knees pulled tight to her chest, arms wrapped around them. Resting her chin on her knees, she closes her eyes and mutters, “Thinking a creek is talking to me…”

“That does sound a little silly,” I say, my voice light with amusement. 

Her gasp breaks the quiet as her eyes fly open, and for the first time, she sees me. The realization washes over her in waves—hesitation, awe, and then a dawning understanding.  

“Hello,” I say softly, letting her take me in, her eyes tracing over my entire body.

“Hi,” she breathes. “Where are your wings?” That’s an unexpected first question. Smiling, I unfold them, letting them catch the sunlight. Iridescent hues of pink and purple shimmer like liquid light. The intricate patterns etched into the delicate surface that scatter rainbows onto the ground below. 

“Wow…” she whispers in disbelief. She reaches out slowly, her fingertips trembling as they near me. But her hand passes straight through, our realms still worlds apart. Confusion clouds her face and her glassy eyes blink with disappointment. 

I shake my head and remind her, “The Veil of Touch, remember?”

“Oh, I need to have another mushroom?” I nod. She hurriedly reaches for one.

“Wait.” She halts and looks up at me. “You should take it easy with those. Let’s just talk. I’ve been dying for you to hear my voice.”

“That’s true.” She looks over at the water, then glances back up at me. “You’re so…pretty,” she says. “What’s your name?” 

“Soobin.” Then she tells me her name. “We can have conversations much easier now, huh?” I smile. 

With the Veil lifted, we spend the hour learning all we can about each other—her favorite color isn’t just yellow, it’s turmeric. She loves how it looks when she puts a teaspoon of it in her rice cooker and it spreads throughout the water. Her favorite flower is a poinsettia because her mother used to line the front porch with them during a winter holiday called Christmas. Those things on her teeth are called braces and they’re supposed to help her teeth somehow. She hates celery and loves broccoli, especially if they’re roasted in an oven. That scar on her cheek is from learning something called skateboarding. She loves the rain but is terrified of thunder. She hates how loud her laugh is, though it's my favorite sound. 

She worries about being too much and not enough all at once. 

As we talk, I can’t tell how much time we have left. I can tell I’m fading from her view but she never fades from mine. Her laughter grows quieter, her giggles becoming rare until they’re gone altogether. Her high is wearing off, and with it, the fragile connection we share. I can feel her pulling back, closing herself off again, like the gentle drift of someone falling asleep without realizing it.

Her eyes stay on me, intense and unblinking, memorizing every detail of my face to hold onto me for just a moment longer. Then I see it, the shift in her expression. Realization dawns like a shadow passing over her, her gaze losing focus.  

“I can’t see you anymore,” she murmurs, her voice tinged with resignation. She sighs, her shoulders slumping. “You’re gone again.”  

-

“Are you sure you’re ready?” I ask, my voice soft but steady. Over the years, I’ve forged fragile connections with humans, always careful never to push too hard. Yet no matter how gentle I am, the same thing happens—they see too much, fear too much, and never return. And I don’t blame them. It’s utterly overwhelming. There’s no denying that. 

But she’s been visiting me for months and I’ve never been this close to anyone. With her, the world feels sharper, more vivid. Every time she speaks, her words resonate with something deep inside me, as if they echo through places I’ve forgotten even existed. 

She occupies my every waking moment. I’ve started to feel her even when she’s not here—her absence pressing against me like a quiet storm, a warmth that lingers in the air long after she’s gone. Her voice echoes in my mind when it’s silent. Every time our eyes meet, there’s that spark, that electric connection that tells me we’re on the cusp of something extraordinary. 

We’ve talked about taking the next step so many times now. But it’s a huge step. It’s about stepping into a new reality, about making something impossible real. 

She nods, her eyes bright with determination. “I’m sure.”  

She picks up the mushroom, turning it over in her hands as though its surface might help her validate her decision. Then, with a shaky breath, she sets it back down, her resolve wavering. “What if this isn’t real?” she whispers, her gaze fixed on her trembling fingers. “What if I’ve just been…hallucinating all of this?”  

“You’re not hallucinating,” I say gently.

She hugs her knees to her chest, biting her lip. “But what if I am? And if I eat another one, I just sink deeper into this… dream? Or illusion? Or whatever this is.”  

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I assure her, leaning closer.  

She lifts her head slightly, her expression torn. “But if I need these just to talk to you…” Her voice falters. “Doesn’t that mean I’ll always be dependent on them?”  

I meet her gaze, steady and unwavering. “You’re already talking to me,” I say. “You don’t need another one to keep doing that.”  

Her breath catches, and for a moment, silence hangs between us. Then she speaks again, “But I can’t touch you.” Her eyes glisten, her vulnerability shining through. “And I want to.”  

Something in me stirs—sharp and undeniable. My chest tightens, my voice trembling, “I want that too.” 

She sighs my name, and it feels like the world is tilting. Her cheeks flush as she hesitates. “I want to…maybe it’s the mushroom talking,” she says quickly, her words tumbling out, “but I want you. I want you to kiss me and hold me and make me feel—”  

“I want all of that too,” I interrupt, my voice low and earnest. “But only if you’re ready.”  

Her shoulders sag slightly, her head tilting as she stares at the ground. “But it’ll never be truly real, though, will it?”

“It’s real,” I say softly. “Maybe not in the way we want it to be—but real enough to feel.” Nodding, she takes several seconds to think, picking at the green moss as a distraction. “What if I ate one too?”

“Would it even affect you?” 

I nod and add, “It gives me a high, but nothing…magical happens.” We both agree to eat one, giggling and talking while we let them both set in. 

“I’m not feeling much different, to be honest,” she says, her voice faltering. “I’m starting to think none of this is real. I’m just… seeing you, but you’re not really there.” Her hand lifts, a trembling finger reaching toward my cheek.

Then it happens.

The moment her skin touches mine, a spark—soft, warm, and undeniable—flares between us. She gasps, jerking her hand back as though it's been burned. But before the space between us can grow too wide, she reaches out again, her palm settling against my cheek, her thumb brushing over the curve with a tentative tenderness.

Her touch anchors me, and for a moment, I can’t speak.

“…Soobin,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I’m scared.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re there. You’re really there.”

“I know,” I say, chuckling. “I’m really here. Watch this.” I reach out, dragging my fingertips over her forearm. She gasps again, yanking her hand back. “Are you okay?” I ask, concern flickering in my voice. She nods, slowly and deliberately moving her hand forward. Then, she runs her fingers through my hair and glides them down my shoulder and arm, leaving a shiver in their wake.

“Can I…your wings?” she asks, her voice filled with awe. I let them unfold just enough for her to see. Her breath hitches as she reaches out, the tip of her pointer finger brushing against the delicate edge of one wing. It flutters instinctively at her touch, responding to her presence, which spooks her a bit. 

“It’s okay,” I murmur, watching her hand. 

Encouraged and confident, she places her hand fully on top of my wing, her fingers tracing its intricate patterns as though committing every curve and shimmer to memory.

“Wow…that’s unreal,” she says. “I mean, it’s real, but doesn’t seem like it should be.” She inches closer, the space between us dissolving until our knees barely touch. Her fingers run down my arm lightly before picking up my hand, examining it closely, her thumb tracing the lines of my palm, the curve of my fingers. Then, I mirror her actions, taking her hand in mine. It’s warm, human, and yet so fragile under my touch. 

Her hand travels upward to trace my features with her thumb. She lingers over the arch of my eyebrow, down the bridge of my nose, along the edge of my jaw. When she reaches my lips, her thumb pauses, grazing over the softness of my bottom lip. A breath escapes me, unbidden, and her touch slows, her thumb resting there for just a moment longer before she withdraws, her hand trembling slightly as it falls back into her lap.

I respond, my thumb swiping across her bottom lip and I tug her closer by her jaw until I can feel her breath on my chin. 

“Can I kiss you?” I whisper. 

She nods. 

Our lips fall into one another and move over each other so beautifully—it beats out rainbows and peonies, the sound of water falling, the smell of peppermint leaves. It’s a paradox, making everything else feel insignificant yet illuminating the meaning of it all in the same breath.

It deepens and I hover over her, her legs coming out from under her while I guide her to lay down on the mossy patch, our lips never parting. Her lips feel so magical and soft and we only stop when she needs to come up for air. We smile at each other, our eyes sharing the same redness and glassy daze. I know exactly what I want to happen next, but I’m not so sure she’s ready for all that. I look at her, taking in all her beauty. 

“You’re gorgeous,” I tell her.

“So are you,” she slurs. She reaches for my hand that’s already resting on her hip and moves it up to her chest, encouraging me to feel all of her. 

I whisper her name and ask, “Are you sure you want this?” 

“Please.” My lips crash into hers again and our hands are all over each other, on each other’s bodies, in each other’s hair, squeezing and squishing and feeling and rubbing. She breaks the kiss, “Have you ever done this before? You know, with a human?”

“Not with a human,” I chuckle. “But all the anatomy’s the same.” 

“That’s good,” she giggles, grabbing my hair to kiss me again, but she’s quick to pull back. “Go slow, okay?” I nod. With a snap of my fingers, flowers swirl together, carried by a gentle breeze, forming a soft pillow for her to rest her head on. “Ah, thank you. I forgot you can do stuff like that.” Lifting the skirt of her dress up, I slowly move it past her thighs and she asks with a trembling voice, “Will people see us?” 

I shake my head, telling her, “I cast a shadow cloak around us. No one can see us. Not even the other fae.” A look of relief and content falls across her face. “Can I…?” I ask, lifting her dress more. She nods. With each passing inch, my heart thumps as I drag my fingertips over her legs. Lifting it over her head, she’s laying under me, mostly bare. She’s still wearing two tiny pieces of fabric that cover her chest and bottom. 

“I wore these for you,” she says, her voice soft and tinged with a shyness she can’t quite hide. The veil lanterns must’ve loosened her lips.

“You did?” My hands explore her curves, reverent and curious, tracing every inch of her body. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Thank you.” Her skin is soft and inviting under my lips, and I scatter kisses lower, her body responding perfectly with mine. But then, I can’t hide my fascination any longer. I pause, my thumb brushing over the delicate pink fabric that’s still on her body. How do I put this? Ah, let’s just be candid. “What is this?”  

“What do you mean?”  

“These,” I say, running my fingers along the straps and edges of the fabric. “I’ve never seen clothes like this before.”

“Oh,” she giggles, tugging gently at one of the straps. “This is a bra. And these,” she gestures to the sides of the fabric on her hips, “are panties.” I hum thoughtfully, studying her with an amused tilt of my head. 

“We don’t wear things like this. What’s the point of them?”  

Her lips curve into a playful smile. “Look at me.” And I do. She’s delicious. “That’s the point.”  

I smirk, my gaze lingering on her. “Am I—are you—supposed to take them off?”  

“Yes,” she says, her voice catching just slightly, her flush deepening. My fingers brush over the fabric again, savoring the contrast between it and her skin. “Do you not like them?” she asks, her tone almost teasing.  

“No, I do,” I reply, my voice dipping lower. “I have a feeling I’ll like your body even more.” I start to try and pull them off, but—

“Not yet,” she sighs. “Come here.” I sit up and she follows, her hand drifting to my top button. Slowly, she unfastens it, the slinky pink velvet slipping through her fingers with each deliberate motion. Once she pushes my shirt past my shoulders, I tug at the cuffs to free my arms. Her gaze stays locked on me as I fold my wings down, the delicate motion allowing me to slip the shirt off completely.

Extending her arm out, the tip of her middle finger barely touches my chest before she jerks her hand back, still not believing I’m tangible. Then she lets her hand fully press my body, dragging down to my waist. I remember how much my wings fascinate her, so I unfold them for her and she gasps. 

Leaning closer, our lips fall into each other and I guide her to lay down again just the same as before. My thumb drags across the apple of her cheek, trailed by my pointer finger down column of her neck, following a line between her breasts, down to squeeze her waist. Holding her bra strap between my pointer and middle finger, I slowly pull it down, leaving kisses along the way and hoping I’m doing this whole bra-and-panties thing correctly. Then I do the same with the other side, watching as she effortlessly reaches behind her, making something snap so it falls off her chest, hanging loosely. She pulls it off herself, although I think I’m supposed to be the one that does that. Next time.  

Looking down at her bare chest, I can’t help but feel giddy. The way her chest curves on itself, creating a gorgeous shape I desperately need to feel. 

“I love these,” I say, kissing the side of her breast. She hums in question. And I nudge the marks on her skin with the tip of my nose. “These,” I say. 

Her gaze follows mine as she glances down and asks, “Oh, my stretch marks?” 

“We call them life lace.”

Her expression softens, her eyes meeting mine. “Life lace,” she repeats quietly, as if testing the words, a touch of wonder in her voice. I search and scour for every bit I can find—the most of it on her tummy, hips, and thighs. She’s still got that last bit of clothing around her hips she hasn’t taken off yet. That final barrier between us. We’ve knocked every other barrier down but something about this last one feels utterly real in a way the others didn’t. 

Wrapping my hands around her thighs, I pull her gently so her legs wrap around my ears gently, shoving my face into her center over that last bit of clothing, inhaling. I’ve never been this close to a human before. She smells so different from the fae I’ve been with. She’s intoxicating and delightful—my mouth waters at how delicious she smells. 

“I take this off, too?” I nudge at her entrance, earning a jolt. I must’ve nudged something sensitive. She nods eagerly, helping me take them off her. 

“You too,” she reminds me and I shuffle to get rid of the rest of my clothes. Looking down at her, she’s giddy and completely entranced, which twinges my heart. It’s just the veil lanterns, the cynical part of me reminds myself. Her legs are casually spread open, giving me a full display of her glistening pussy. I skate my hands up her legs, feeling her ground herself in the feeling of my hands. 

Teasing her entrance with my thumb, she’s hot and wet as she flutters around nothing, waiting for anything from me. I gather just enough of her wetness to make my pointer finger slick and tap her clit, making her flinch. Then, I rub the slowest, lightest circles over the nub and she lets out a ragged sigh. Her tightened muscles relax as she allows herself to feel every move I’m making, letting her head gently fall to the pillow of flowers. 

Once she’s practically dripping, I slide my two middle fingers inside her, curling them to tease the most sensitive bit with the pads of them. Bending, I flick my pointed tongue against her clit, eliciting a whine while she desperately reaches for my hair. I’ve never tasted a human either, I realize. I’m not sure anything will ever be as delicious as her again. 

“Oh my god,” she whimpers. Every sound she makes is gorgeous but I can’t wait to hear what she sounds like when she comes. I bet it's the most beautiful in the world. “W—wait…” she trails off, her hip thrusts betraying her words. “Soobin, wait—” she gasps. This time, I stop. Gently wrapping her hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer. “I want you…all of you, please.” 

I take the time to memorize what her face looks like, how her hair is splayed out against the flowers, how kissable her lips look. And I don’t resist them. Pressing my lips to hers again, they mould into each other like we should’ve never been apart in the first place. She tries to place her hands on my back, stumbling as she realizes my wings are in the way, which rustle in response. Instead, she rests them on my waist, squeezing delicately. 

We hesitantly part so I can sit up on my knees. This time, I take the time to memorize everything about her body—her stomach rolls folding from holding her legs open, the life lace at the tops of her thighs, the swell of her ass squished by the ground. Everything is absolute, utter perfection. 

Slowly gracing my hands to follow the curve of her waist then down to her thighs and hips, little bumps cover her skin. I forget what humans call them. Finding her clit with my thumb again, I rub agonizingly slow circles, forcing her hips to roll involuntarily. Barely prodding her entrance with my cock, I watch her shiver and whine, quickly getting impatient. When I back off, her pelvis bucks, her body begging for me on its own. 

Aligning myself at her pussy again, I push myself in, only letting myself about halfway inside her but she still takes my breath away. Just as she’s about to let out a sigh of relief, I pull out of her again. 

“Stop…” she whines. “Stop teasing me so much.” I chuckle with her—I guess I should get to the good stuff. “Please…please stop teasing me so much.” 

I concede and when I’m finally fully inside her, everything feels so…much. It’s all so much. I feel like I’ve never felt before, like nothing has ever had any impact before her, like nothing will ever feel as good until we’re together again. I bend at my waist, supporting myself with my elbows around her face and her eyes flutter shut.

“Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me,” I say. “We don’t have much time.” 

When she opens her eyes and looks into mine, still nothing matters—not that she can’t see me without the veil lanterns, not that I could disappear from her view any minute, not that we could never truly be together. The way she feels overshadows all of that. 

We don’t have much time, I remind myself. I sink deeper inside her, digging my face into her neck.

“Look at me,” she reminds me and I follow her instructions. We find a rhythm we both like, desperately thrusting in and out of her. “Kiss me…kiss me please,” she whispers. Our lips meet furiously as my hips dig into hers. “I need to feel you as much as I can,” she says. “Before I can’t anymore.” Resting her arms against my lower back—right below my wings—she squeezes around me, rubbing her hands up and down my waist. Delicately and hesitantly, she slides her hands up, letting her hands rest gently where my wings meet my skin. 

There’s a vulnerability to it I wasn’t expecting. It’s not something I’ve thought about before—no one’s ever touched me like that there before, not even another faerie. My breath catches when her fingers trace the delicate ridge where my wings connect to my body. I shudder, the sensation overwhelming and pleasant. Her eyes widen, searching mine, unsure if she’s crossed a line. 

“Is this okay?” she asks softly, her voice trembling.

I press my forehead to hers, nodding. “It’s okay,” I respond. “More than okay.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she says, her thumbs brushing lightly against the base of my wings.

“You won’t,” I promise, though my voice is raw, barely audible. “You couldn’t.”

Her lips find mine again, gentler this time, like her touch softened the urgency between us. The rhythm slows, turning into something deeper, more deliberate. Her hands never stray far from my wings and the trust in her touch makes my chest ache in the best way. In this moment, she sees me—not just with her eyes, but as someone she wants to hold onto, even when she knows she can’t forever.

“You feel,” she gasps. “I can’t—”

“I know, baby…” I sigh. “I know.” I silence her whimpers with my mouth, swallowing any whines that escape past her lips. I argue with myself trying to decide if I should close my eyes to savor how she feels, never leaving her lips or if I should keep them open to make sure I commit the sight of her underneath me to memory. Either way is a win for me to be fair. 

Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips all over her body, tasting every inch of her. She’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever tasted before, slightly salty and warm against my tongue, different from the typical sweetness of other faeries. Every time I press my lips to her, I kiss away a hardship. I kiss away the stress in her shoulders, kiss away the problems she faces in her day-to-day life, kiss away any anxieties she feels. I’m desperate to make her feel good, to remind her that none of that matters here. With me. 

When I flick my tongue over her nipple, her back arches, a gasp following her movements. I keep my thrusts steady, feeling her release building up in her stomach. I watch as her tummy muscles tighten then she desperately reaches for my hair, pulling me closer so our bodies are pressed together again. Her arms are wrapped around my torso and I can feel her clenching around me, teetering on the edge of something incredible. 

“Soobin—” she gasps. “Don’t—” Her back arches. “Hmm…I’m close,” she says, a smile evident in her voice. “Please, please…” I don’t think she even knows what she’s begging for anymore. Begging for anything—my cock, my hands, my lips, a release. 

Then, her nails dig into my lower back as she bites my shoulder, groaning loudly against my skin as she comes around my cock, pussy pulsating around me as she whimpers and whines through it. 

“Oh my god,” she pants and just as she starts to twitch from overstimulation, I slow my movements, peppering her neck and face with kisses. She catches her breath, whispering incoherent things in my ears, things like my name, swears, giggles. 

“Use me,” she whispers. I hum in question. “Use me to make yourself feel good.” I lift her legs, pressing them toward her chest, letting me reach the deepest parts of her. And everything about her feels incredible. Pounding into her quickly, I squeeze one of her tits with one hand and use the other to hold her waist in place. 

It doesn’t take long for something inside me to twist and turn, begging to be snapped so I can fill her up. My stomach ties itself into too many knots as a white hot fire burns in the pit of it. The noises she’s making adds fuel to the fire, burning and burning until I can’t hold back anymore. With a few final thrusts, everything inside me breaks, like it’s all been building until this moment. I make a conscious effort to take my time and feel everything, thinking about how her pussy feels wrapped around my cock, how her tit feels in my hand, what she smells like, what she looks like. Everything is magic. 

As I catch my breath, I pull out of her so slowly she shivers and I watch as my cum spills out of her while she giggles bashfully. I panic as I realize I didn’t prepare to clean up. Why didn’t I prepare for clean-up? She finds that little piece of fabric she was wearing earlier—what was it called again?—and uses them to wipe herself clean before folding them meticulously to store in her bag. 

“How are you feeling?” I ask. 

“Eh…” she hums. …Eh? “Just kinda bittersweet is all, you know?” I shake my head in disappointment. “No, no!” She runs her fingers through my hair, looking at me sweetly. “That was amazing.” She kisses me deeply. “I should’ve started with that. I’m sorry.” 

“You swear?”

“Of course,” she sighs. “That was incredible. It’s just…”

“I know,” I say. “How much time do we have left, you think?” Averting her eyes from mine, she looks down to fiddle with her thumbs. 

“You’re already starting to fade.” 

“Then look at me,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “Look at me until you can’t anymore.” She chuckles, bringing her eyes up to meet mine. We stare at each other, running our hands over each other’s bodies until we’ll no longer be able to feel the other. Once the Veil of Touch separates our hands again, we hesitantly get dressed during the last few minutes before the Veil of Sight and Sound completely separates us. She pulls her dress back over her head, closing off my view from her. 

We sit again, facing toward each other, anxiously waiting until I fade from her view. Tears pool in the corners of her eyes. I start to reach for her, until I remember I can’t touch her. 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Soobin,” she sniffles. I scoot closer to her. 

“What? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can do this,” she gestures between us. “Only seeing you when I’m on some kind of high from those mushrooms? This would never work. I can’t just…not see or hear you when I’m sober. I can’t—this isn’t—” Her words puncture my lungs and I can’t breathe. The ache in her voice echoes into my chest and I hate these fucking Veils. What’s the point in them anyway? Can’t they be destroyed?

“Don’t say that,” I plead.

She shakes her head, tears spilling over as she wipes at her cheeks with trembling hands. “I can’t keep falling deeper for you, only to lose you every time the spell fades. It’s breaking me apart.”

My throat tightens. “You’re not losing me. I’ll always be here. Always. I promise.”

“But I won’t really be here, will I?” she says, her voice cracking. “I won’t ever be in the right state of mind when we’re together.”

Her words hang heavy in the air and all I can hear is the soft babble of the creek. I try to reach for her again, forgetting again I can’t. My hand hovers uselessly in the air before falling back to my side.

“There has to be another way,” I say, desperation creeping into my voice. “Something we haven’t tried. A way to get rid of them so we can be together.” She looks at me, her expression a mixture of longing and heartbreak. 

“And if there isn’t? What then? Do we keep doing this forever?”

Leaning closer, I say, “You’re worth it.”

Her face crumples, and she presses her hands to her face as if to shield herself from my words. “Soobin, I—” I know the edges of her vision are starting to blur, the Veil is about to take me from her. Again. “Don’t go,” she whispers, her voice breaking.

“I’m not leaving you,” I say. “Not really. I’ll always be here. Waiting.” And then I know I’m gone by the sound of her cries. I turn the water a rich, warm shade of yellow with deep golden and earthy undertones—turmeric—so she knows I’m still there with her. She stands slowly, turns and starts to walk away but stops a few steps in, she looks back, somehow right into my eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

[incorrectbatfam]

Now I need the batfam as David

I should've answered this a while back but for those who don't know, David is my friend that I mentioned in this post who is the embodiment of Chaotic Stupid and gave at least one person gender envy, so anon is asking for the batfam as things about him

Dick: during his bottom surgery consultation, he asked if they could make his grayson as long as his arm

Jason: his dream job is either brewery owner or freelance pharmacist

Tim: he eats coffee beans like popcorn and mixes Rockstar with Gatorade

Damian: he chose his dad's name as his own to assert dominance

Duke: his lockscreen is a picture of himself wearing 6 hats on top of each other

Cullen: he twerked to Mama by My Chemical Romance

Stephanie: he celebrated his top surgery by doing a fake commercial shoot in his old Hooters uniform

Cassandra: his sleep paralysis demons disappeared after doing shrooms

Barbara: he thought his tweets would be anonymous if he used an incognito browser

Harper: he and his dad installed a urinal in their house while his mom and sister were away

Carrie: he bites right through the bones whenever we have wings

Kate: his fiancée banned him from wedding planning after he suggested edibles as a party favor

Helena: he's the reason water bottles at our former high school now have to be transparent

Luke: he's trying to grow a viking beard so he can braid it and hide stuff

Bette: his sister's old prom dress is now one of his drag outfits for amateur shows

Alfred: he thought London was just a city of the past, "like Rome or Athens" (his words not mine)

Selina: he's probably stolen around $6,000 worth of stuff by shoplifting at this point

Bruce: his main method of cooking is DoorDash because he once burned microwaved tea

[chongoblog]

If I may inquire, which of your mashups would you say is your favorite?

Oooooh, that's a big question, especially since over the years I have literally made HUNDREDS of mashups (which is a lot to think about in and of itself).

I can try to narrow it down though. This is in no particular order

Polka For Another Purgatory: Honestly, this one makes for a good enough guide through my favorites. It was originally going to be another sillier part of the Polka With Original Artists series, but I found that I kept on just referencing my older mashups. So my solution was to turn it into a celebration of my mashups. God knows I was in need of celebrating myself. I'm super proud of how it turned out, with my only complaint is that it missed a couple mashups that I wish could've made it (some will be referenced here).

Super Smashup Ultimate/Kerfuffle: This one was my channel trailer for a long time for a good reason. It was ambitious and creative (both the original AND the version made to represent the characters of CPUK) and I still listen to both versions all the time!

Heaven Granted Fortune: Another one from Smashup that I'm really proud of. I've always loved the idea of taking convention and fucking with it. And the act of shouting out an obscure flash game in a mashup album surrounding one of the biggest games in the world while also utilizing its gameplay mechanics in a MASHUP is insane. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hope it never gets fixed.

Back 3 Back: My favorite track from Sonic Headrush. It helps that creating this album bumped up Back 2 Back as my favorite Rush track over Ska Cha Cha. It also helps that, to my knowledge, it's my first mashup with Caramelldansen, which I've found to be more and more fun to use in mashups.

Pleasant Day Drive: I think this might be my favorite mashup from Lakitu's Mixtape Vol. 1. Either this one or Greetings. Or a rainbow road one. Huh, I liked LM1 way more than I remember. Anyway! Pleasant Day Drive I think just hits the sweet spot of having enough chaos to keep you engaged while also being just a genuine joy to listen to. A lot of this probably stems from Shroom Ridge just being really really good.

MAD RAT PURGATORY: I think it would be illegal if I didn't mention this one. This was a mashup that I made back in 2021, and I remember getting emotional over it, since it reminded me that the spark wasn't dead (anyone who was there for CPUK20 may know the same thing happened when I premiered the first iteration of Smashup Kerfuffle). It had such an impact on me that I made a whole mashup album based on Mad Rat Dead and incorporated MAD RAT PURGATORY as a motif in and of itself that I still constantly reference in my work. I also want to mention One Of Those Mondays, since I've only loved that one more and more every day.

Lookin' Cool: Genuinely, I've wanted to make a mashup with Kakkoi for a LONG time. Glad I could make it happen! It's a good sign that I'm back. Also, I'm Jenny :)

Transcendental Fever Dream: I consider 2024 to be sort of when I start to wake up out of my depression. And while it doesn't lend itself to consistent creative output, my style of latching onto sparks of inspiration only to have people ask "how the fuck did you make this so quickly" really came in spades on this one. It's also kinda the beginning of my self-love phase (which would manifest as Polka For Another Purgatory and eventually my transition)

Behindtale (the mashup, not the album): The earliest mashup on this list. I talk about it in the premiere chat for Behindtale, but this one's important to me because I included songs that I remembered taking comfort in when times were rough. Especially since Undertale was one of those songs.

Windows 7 Startup (Slowed Down): I've talked about this one a lot, and I'm gonna talk about it again. Your fault for giving me the excuse anon. Windows 7 Startup (Slowed Down) taught me that my mashups could be ABOUT something. I'd made mashups that followed certain ideas and motifs and connected lyrics in funny ways. But W7SSD was ABOUT something. It was vent art. It was about my self-loathing and how I struggled with alcohol and how I felt trapped in this helpless cycle of hating myself and coping unhealthily because I didn't have the respect for myself to see a problem with that. It reflects a dark time in my life, but when I came out the other side, I left with the idea that mashups were far more than just Funny Haha Jokes. They were usually silly, yes, especially since I love using music known for being a little silly, but like....this has the capability to be more.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I left out a lot of tracks that meant a lot Just to go down the line and fire off some honorable mentions: Undying Kermitment, Rocket-Propelled Grenade, Remix 200 Super Deluxe Ultra Special Plus, In N Out, Specifically Alternative Polka With Original Artists, MAD RAT NIRVANA, [Blocked] for Your Sanity, Take Control, Astrological Altercation, The Based Lands (need to upload that one solo), We Are The Crystal Gems (Improved)

[izzyatchi]

HI MY FIRST FIC IS FINALLY DONE!! ❤️💛 This is a Profode fic (Professor Toad x Captain T. Ode) and it is 2.2k words!!

Bitter Sweetness ☕️📜

The morning after the Origami Festival was still; there was no surprise about it, when all of the Toads had been celebrating that night. A soft glow had started emerging across the horizon now, revealing a new day for the slumbering Shroom City. But only a certain Professor stayed awake, tossing and turning in an attempt to seek rest. To no avail, he sits up, catching a glimpse of the rays of dawn creeping through his blinds.

Truth be told, it was not those beautiful specks of light flourishing across the night sky that kept Professor Toad awake. Nor was it the colorful bits of life that sprinkled around the Toad Town…nor was it the shouts of celebration and joy that night. But rather, the professor was fixated on something entirely unrelated: meeting an Ancient One. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, truly! No other professor had been able to discover anything as grand as this before — a real, living and breathing Ancient One.

The thing that Professor Toad had dedicated his whole life to had become a living proof that it existed, and he was alive to see it. This was an extraordinarily massive event and it plagued his mind, enough to leave the festival early to scribble down more notes about the legendary Khap’taan Teeowed.

Would he even catch a glimpse of the man himself again? He must’ve already left to venture into the Great Sea, he thought. There was so much more the professor wanted to say, yet so little time for it..

..he shook his head,

“Ah.. I haven’t even gotten a wink of sleep yet, and I have a class in about three hours by now! I must get there early so I can prepare to tell my students all about yesterday!”

In an eager haste, he promptly gets dressed in his usual attire and fixes his cap onto his head. Though the rest of the city slept during this dawn, Professor was the busiest Toad awake with messily aligning all of his notes together and eating the sandwich he had prepared. What only stopped him before he went out the door was something the legend himself had said: Cream and three sugars. Without his caffeine, he knew he couldn’t get through his day of college today.

Returning to the kitchen counter, he swiftly brews the coffee knowing it like the back of his hand, adding the cream and three cups of sugar afterwards..precisely what the Khap’taan had specified. Professor stirred excitedly, for he had usually preferred the bitter taste. He couldn’t have imagined the Ancient Ones would’ve preferred such sweet taste, but he was quite exquisite to try. All those years of studies of the ancients’ diets had truly led up to this moment — the moment of truth of this coffee..

He barely got to take a proper sip before recoiling, quickly realizing how hot the coffee still was. The professor frantically attempted drinking some cold tap water to soothe his tongue, though he wasn’t fast enough.

“..pfft, I’m such a fool.. ow- my tongue’s all burnt..”

He cursed under his breath about it, but quickly enjoyed the sweetness of the coffee. Khap’taan’s coffee. He’d spend the final few minutes in the comfort of his home carefully sipping the rest of it, before finally heading off with notes clutched to his chest.

———————

Class was over.

The bell had already rung long ago for lunch by now, but only the Professor still sat there at his desk, silently messing with the notes that lay scattered on his desk to mock him. He spoke so much of his findings today, but it seemed to be a dead room today. Perhaps it was because it was a Monday morning, but he felt as though his own students didn’t believe that he’d find an Ancient One. That he wasn’t capable of doing such a thing.

…a single drop rolled down his cheek before he knew it. Confused, he wipes it away, but more continues trickling down and making its way to his chin. Drops quietly splatter onto his research; the professor holds his head now, groaning with frustration at his own bitter tears forming.

In defeat, he begins to lay his head onto the desk.

“I…succeeded in my research, but even then, I’ve not been acknowledged for it..even though it really mattered a lot to me..

Did I annoy the kids too much, maybe? Or maybe they just wanted to hear something else from me..”

Today was meant to be exciting to tell his pupils about meeting the legend he had been speaking of for so long, but..it was completely turned around.

The only sound other than his own was the constant tick of a hand. Each minute further revealed his fatigue, and, willingly, he succumbed to his nap.

———————

What Professor Toad woke from wasn’t what he expected at all. Instead, what he felt was a warm sensation helping his body up over something. It felt like all his worries he had earlier that day had washed away with this new warm embrace enveloping him. It took him a moment to process that it was an actual Toad lifting him up.

“Release me!” in an effort to get put down, he flails his arms and kicks his legs, squinting his eyes open and trying to look back at who it is..

..?!

“Khap’taan..?!”

Tales have been told over eons of his legends. Venturing beneath the waves with his Super Marino when others couldn’t, knowing the sea like the back of his hand with his legendary sea chart..there was no other ancient legend as inspiring as him. Though many Toads have traversed through the sea over centuries, none were truly as wonderful as the Khap’taan, despite their paper-like world. And Professor Toad knew that more than any other Toad out there.

And there he was again, right in his class…holding him. The Khap’taan lowers him down to his feet to stop the frantic Toad. If anything, that man was heartily chuckling to himself about his reaction with a slight redness across his face. Naturally, the Toad flushed red in embarrassment briefly, only attempting to clear his throat afterwards..

“w-wait..! I thought you already had left to go to the Great Sea..? What’re you doing here, Khap’taan?” the Professor inquired, now rubbing his eyes to double check that this was really the legend in front of him. It was.

“Ye be…a Scholar, no? It is quite necessary that I thank the wise soul who had saved me. Had you not been there for the ‘festival’, Scholar?” his eyes close, simply raising his head now with his arms in the pockets of his attire, much more calmer after his laugh.

..Right, the Origami Festival was yesterday. But he hadn’t stayed long to celebrate much at all. Only the Khap’taan was on his mind..he regrets he didn’t stay, as it turns out he was there too. He could’ve gotten more research..and more sleep.

“I had been to the festival, but not for very long..I wanted to try your coffee the next morning. Got too excited by the time I had a chance to and burnt my tongue..

Oh, but! Khap’taan, Khap’taan! It was the sweetest thing. What a delight! To know that this is what Ancient Ones would have for coffee is just exciting!…”

..he goes into a ramble before he knows it, not stuttering, but rather speaking quicker with a burning passion. He had been nervous just a moment ago before this, but the legend before him stands there intently, never moving much more than nodding his head.

He only speaks when the Professor has finished.

“Had ye gotten rest at all?” he asked, now finally looking to him. The “Scholar”’s smile evidently fades.

“..does just now count? Or, well,” he turns to check the clock up above the chalkboard..only to flail his arms around and say, “AH! It’s- it’s very well past lunchtime now! The school day’s been over for an hour! No wonder why the Khap’taan is here in my class!”

The legend simply shakes his head in disapproval over the idea of the Professor having no proper rest. And especially not comfortably, either. He spots the notes of crumpled, stained research scattered on the table, and scoops them up to neatly put them together, to the Professor’s surprise.

A hint of red forms across his face..how embarrassing that the Ancient One he’s been so obsessed with has had to see him this way..

“Where does your humble abode lie..?” he looks to him softly, as if to pity him. He must’ve noticed the tear drops on the pages, that had ever so lightly smudged the scrawny yet passionate handwriting of the professor.

The Professor looks back, blinking in confusion for a moment..he still had yet to study so much more of his ancient language. He wished the Khap’taan could stay — there’s still much more to know..though he couldn’t help but long for something more than just research..

“M-my abode..? Oh, my home! Just that second story home in the city..the- the one with the yellow mailbox, that’s mine.”

Khap’taan swiftly scoops the Professor back up into his arms to his surprise, still clutching onto the notes. The skittish Toad gets frantic for a moment once more..

“w-wait! Khap’taan, are you taking me to my—”

“You may call me… Ode. And you must seek rest more comfortably, my Scholar..” he intervenes, but with such a beautiful accent to his tone, the Professor just can’t help but calm down and accept this..new and unfamiliar method of being brought home.

———————

“So..this is the abode of a Scholar..”

It hadn’t taken long for them to reach his place; with ease, Ode had carried him back home. The disorderly place of the Professors was filled to the brim with collections of ancient findings throughout his life, emitting the familiar sensation of a book that had aged by time. Messily written notes were scattered around, pinned to each display case of his discovery with care. Further into the house the two Toads went, with their boots squeaking beneath their feet and the warm summer of the desert creeping in through the blinds.

Hands slowly intertwine as they walk, one Toad visibly becoming more flustered and sweatier than the other..

Mustering up the courage, he begins to speak again as they enter his bedroom, trying to pay no attention to the hands wrapped around his own.

“Hey- uhm… thank you for taking me back home, Kh— ..Ode! Are you heading off to the seas for good at some point..? Will I be seeing you again?”

..fingers that were once interlocked with the Professors now release, instead having his palms held in the captain’s palms, too. A smug smile begins to form, looking back to the reddening face trying to stay hidden under his little archaeologist cap.

Yet he speaks ever so softly, a slight hint of red on his own cheeks forming again, once more with that accent no Toad has ever heard for eons..

“Why, I am here to stay in this abode of yours..lest ye have no interest in me resting here. Though this heart aches and yearns for the Greatest seas across the vast land of the ocean, indubitably it will belong to the wisest Toad these eyes have first laid eyes upon in the longest of times.”

Eyes finally meet with the Ancient Ones, his face getting a lot more warmer, almost like the Scorching Sandpaper Desert itself. This was beyond any Professor’s expectations — no, this..this was far beyond all of his research he had ever obsessively studied his whole life. This was..love. The warmth burning on his cheeks, the fluttering butterflies dancing around in his tummy….

The pounding heartbeat that grew louder in his whole body over those words. Love..

But before he can get a word out, he yawns, immediately reminding Ode why he had brought him home in the first place: he had not slept at all, and especially not comfortably. He helps remove his cap, and quietly guides the poor Toad that’s finally getting very exhausted.

“Rest, my love…”

The professor pouts a little, feeling his cheeks still red. . especially after that comment too. But, he quickly relaxes afterwards, already barely keeping his eyes open. The coffee’s effect had definitely long worn off despite its sweetness, but an even greater sweetness than sugar took place as the legend he admired for so long hung his cloak on the peg and climbed into the same bed as him, wrapping him in a warmth he wished to experience for the rest of his life.

Before the professor falls into his sleep, he manages to slip a pleasant, warm touch to the lips of his Ode with his own. For once..this was a completely different study he had never even considered before. The legend was much better returning the sweet kiss back on his forehead as he slipped closer and closer into his slumber.

And this loving sweetness to this coffee of theirs was forever a permanent effect, so long as these feelings they felt so strongly for each other would never be fleeting.

[clementinefight]

Work yesterday Still setting up my desk ;-) And still surreal! I’d like to get a keyboard pad with a picture of The Great Wave on it. I'm learning typesetting and InDesign is even more formidable than I thought. Ebook QA is a really cool gig. I like coding all the corrections, zipping from pdf to ebook to xhtml file while listening to online radio stations (I like A Passing Feeling, based out of Oldenburg, Germany) or cool stuff uploaded on Internet Archive. I’m going to soon make a seperate post about the cool stuff uploaded on Internet Archive. I've enjoyed being in office but one thing I forgot is that I have social anxiety to the max. Oh it’s cramped and uncomfortable and bad. My sister says I need to think my way out of it, use the powers of mind to teleport into a new one, and before I go to bed every night repeat a purple spell about being good at conversation. It’s not like I’m bad at conversation! It’s that ofttimes I’d prefer not to do it…A choice between opening or closing and I will oftimes close. It’s not a rule it’s just a tendency, and I don’t know how to leap out from the tendency. It’s like I’m wearing a coat of Bad Tendencies, and the coat has a million buttons and my hands are very cold. I want to work on that, though, as I think connection is the crux. Though whenever I try that spell I think I fall asleep mid-sentence. I'm looking into micro-dosing shrooms for realignment and will report back… The other interns and I went for dinner yesterday to celebrate the end of month one and it was hard to make sense of myself at the table. My eyes darted here and there like odd first responders. I struggle with understanding what I can offer to conversation. Then worse, I struggle with knowing who I am. We sat by a stained glass window that looked out onto a Hooters across the street. The music was so loud. It vibrated in my skull and lifted my voice into a pitch that was almost yelling. I got pickled vegetables and pita with hummus and the table bubbled with yellow-orange amaretto sours. I still don’t drink. I ordered something called Lightfoot, some sort of non-alcoholic mocktail that was a bright cranberry red 🩸

It was nice in the way ambiguity can be but afterwards I walked to the train station feeling sort of solitary and adrift Though it was a sting it didn’t feel bad. Something old and tired stretched over me, and I knew I was doomed to my image, however it was I looked. But that’s not true I am more doomed by feeling than by actual events It’s so disconcerting—when you know good things are happening, but you can’t feel them Makes you feel…“will there be no difference between the castle and the crypt”

[fallingsunflower]

I am not trying to change your (or anyone’s) mind about how they feel about Harry atm (lord knows it has been a looonnng 3 years of some nonsense). I will say that’s why I always try to keep some distance generally bc we don’t know this man, really - the good or bad parts. I do worry some people unstanning now (not you, specifically, sunny!) might fall into the trap of being a hater stan - still interested, but now thinking that everything about Harry is fake and his sole mission in life is to pretend to be nice while actively intentionally hurting people, only caring about money, etc.

All celebs live in a different reality and some are truly gross and depraved people/criminals but I don’t see that Harry deserves those labels yet. I’m actively willing to be wrong about Harry - but I’m ok for now knowing there are shades of gray in all of us and pressures/forces/things hanging over his head I don’t know about or understand so I’m giving him some grace but keeping my eyes open. And as for his industry friends - I mean, I don’t think he and lizzo are close friends (just promo buddies) and the azoffs are his friends but with their working relationship they also know a LOT about him so that also becomes tricky for me because the power dynamic at least when he initially became friendly with them was way off. Same with James in some ways who is rude/off putting/annoying but also to my knowledge not a creep or absuser. Let’s hope his non-industry friends are lovely 🤞

I’d like to clarify that I don’t hate Harry and I would never turn into a hate account for him.

For me, I’m tired. I enjoyed the 1D days. There was something a little carefree and boyish I liked about him. He seemed a bit more down to Earth, even when he started getting involved more with fashion and high profile celebrities etc. I feel as if he carried himself kind of similarly through 2020, with of course changes but I was willing to accept those (ie the shroom story in RS).

In my opinion, there was some kind of shift in 2021. I’m not pointing fingers at Olivia btw although I certainly think she was inadvertently lumped into it. I spent literally like 2 years defending this man lmao and I stand by it. I don’t think he’s an awful person but from then until now he’s carried over a bit of that shift in personality (from what I can observe - again this is just MY opinion) that I thought would disappear. And tbh, I’m tired of it.

I don’t want to waste my time talking about how “well even though Harry does this it doesn’t mean he’s terrible”. I agree but there are some patterns he hasn’t gotten rid of and I don’t want to defend him every day when I literally did that for like 2 years. He doesn’t deserve my energy. It’s tiring to defend every single thing. I think most of us are on the same page anyway so rehashing everything (like who he’s friends with or why he’s doing pap walks) is tiring.

Tbh I’d rather discuss other things. Things that make me happy. Doesn’t make me a hater of Harry but he’s just not my favorite right now and that’s okay

[mika-0730]

Get prime numbers'd

Omg here we go, there's so many uwehhhh

2. What am i obsessed with right now?

Right now i would say my hyperfixation is Manga and Tales of Symphonia! I've been reading a ton of manga nonstop and my friend has been streaming ToS for us and it's been really fun ^^

3. Have i ever done any drugs?

Routinely eat weed edibles and tonic but that's it. Am interested in shrooms for the PTSD therapy though

5. How many people have i kissed

Hkbsknkbsojpsjkbekbsbjjdg technically 2.5?

The .5 comes from a coworker who kissed me on the lips (no tongue THANK FUCK LOL) on his last day of work??? It was fuckin weird lmao

The others were my ex and someone else

7. Who are you jealous of?

I try not to be jealous of people, but i tend to get jealous at people with supportive families/surrounding people and partners. I've finally got a friend group who supports me, but it's been very isolating otherwise

11. If i could teleport anywhere in the world, where would i go?

It depends, if i have a return teleport probably Japan? I've wanted to go for a loooooong time. If i have to get back normally, probably just to a friend's house nearby or to fuckin portillos since doordash IS DRIVING AWAY WITH MY FOOD

13. Do you have/would i get my nipples pierced?

I would LOVE to get them pierced but I'm a big baby around pain t_t i would need lots of positive reinforcement while it's happening

17. Am i angry with someone right now?

Yeah, big time, no one who follows me here though

19. Would i change my name and what would i change it to?

I'm thinking of changing it to "Mika Adora Morgan"! Still up for debate though

23. 5 favorite bands/musical artists

Right now it's probably Ado, Spyair, Yoasobi, and after that it's a bit hard to say. I've been listening to a lot of Mina-bass and amalee recently!

29. Most overrated movie?

Can i say like every superhero movie ever? It's just exhausting

31. Already answered this one ^^

37. Any tattoos?

No but i wish i did!!! Big baby around pain, but maybe in the future!

41. How many followers go i have?

Last i checked around 43ish?

43. What's my guilty pleasure?

Reading really shitty manga, especially isekai and c tier romance manga (and especially c tier

47. If i could marry any and celebrity who would it be?

None, I'm demi and unless there's a rich girl celebrity who wants to marry me for clout to say "look I'm married to a trans woman!" And give me the million dollars from earlier I'm not interested

[dear3st-dead-diary]

Dearest dead diary

Its 8:15 am as of this line, today I woke up at 4:55 a.m. I had a beautiful dream, we built a ship for space that looked like something from star wars, it was kind of like halo 2 in terms of plot, we made contact with the elite, the ship we made clipped perfectly onto their ship and then transformed to a new landing pad. I also dreamped of wheeling my sister around in a wagon through the snow when she was 9. She's turning 22 this year.

I drive a camper with a new friend I'd made, away from a campsite, the last thing I remember was crying, wondering how we were ever going to see our friends again.

I woke up and my immediate thought was "Oh no I cannot start this day off with grief" but here we are. I am grieving, I had a memory of a windmill, one in hadn't seen in 20 years, I don't know if it's even still standing, I candles remember. A few tornados rolled over the property when I was young and I can't remember if that windmill still stood afterwards. I feel like it did but someone might have torn it down decades ago.

I haven't been to that property since i was seven. The last time I was there was to retrieve my mother's cat. My dad's father screamed at him for "stealing his cat" and was always abusive to me and my mother. He's done a 180 And in 2025 he's become a sincerely decent person. I never hated the guy, I always kind of looked up to him (that's an understatement) so much so I never recognized the signs of abuse.

I still think foundly of him.

Im also grieving the first house my parents ever lived in with me, after the two years of my grandparents raising me, my parents took my in again. That house, and the neighboring house which have been in our family for atleast 3 generations no longer stand due to wild fires and extreme vandalism.

I grieve for a home that no longer stands full of people who no longer live.

My friends from high-school have gone on to either move to Japan or become Rockstars. My ex is now a famous drag star touring the world.

I don't want to be famous, I just want to perform.

I've attempted suicide 4 times the first week of January. I decided to sober up after the psychward was full and I got tired of waiting. My boyfriend left me alone for a week while I had to detox by myself; to be honest I didn't know if he was comming back.

We celebrated our 3 year anniversary last week with the best sex he's had in weeks.

We've been together for 3 years now officially, however.. I still feel that someday we won't love each other anymore. I will always love him.

I have been cutting back my use of prescribed benzos, it's been seven days that I've cut my daily dose in half, the effects of withdrawal suck but they worsen after ten days, especially in cases of long term use, with mine being Eight Years.

After all the drugs I've relapsed on last year and had to come down from; the withdrawal of benzos feels like nothing. I have had to detox myself at home from Cocaine, MDMA, other random substances i can't remember.

I did shrooms every weekend alone for a month, honestly the experience was really healing in terms of body positively and self image.

I've gone through alcohol detox and alcohol induced psychosis 30 times from December 2023 till January of this year, by this point i can clean a house while detoxing like nothings wrong. That scares me. The level of insanity that happens when someone detoxes the first time alone is enough to keep them sober, but not me.

Im trying to see if I can go 30 or 31 days sober, and if there's cravings don't kill me then... perhaps I will be able to hold this addiction by the neck. Ironically I hate being drunk, I hate the effects of liqour. But I love drinking, and I love the burn.

It takes roughly 19-20 shots of rum for me to get drunk, even while on medication that increases the effects of liqour. And that's concerning.

My tolerance for substances is concerning because that's how people die of overdoses, eventually you take too much to feel it's effects and.. thats it. Thats your last breath.

I've been slowly cleaning my house again, from top to bottom. After a year of battling addiction and finally staying sober for three weeks, it's fitting that I finally pick up where I left off in 2023.

I gained 60 pounds, I feel mixed feeling about it; but I'd rather not be as skinny as I was before, wasting away to be thin at me height and bone density? It's terrifying to he honest. I looked so cunt being skinny but holy smokes was that ever unhealthy. Plus I have a huge ass now and I love it.

Once work picks up again I'll probably slim down a but, mostly tone and shape from the labor but that's to be expected.

I also broke the nose of the man who slept with me while I was under the influence and gave him a HUGE lecture on Consent.

He's been very well behaved since then and he knows I'll do it again if he hadn't learned his lesson.

This gs are weird between me and him. For obvious reasons. But I actually taught him a lesson in the most literal sense. I hate how common this happens where I live. Even more that the people who do it are often the ones signing our checks and providing shelter and resources.

I don't fuck with the court systems and prisons should be abolished. The worse thing to do imo is to let the person live with what they've done. Thats a hard lesson I learned young when my childhood abuser died and hundreds of people showed up to his wake.

The same person who violates your heart can be the same person who mends the broken lives of a thousand others.

Atleast now I get a choice. I'm strong, and i can fight off anyone.

So I broke his nose and in tern he socked me but I didn't feel it, it felt kind of good to be honest.

The people who've abused me are now scared of my capabilities.

And its not as good of a feeling as you'd think it is. There truly is no justice, not even revenge. A mirror is forever fractured. But you can grow accustomed to its angles, and avoid its shards. You can wear gloves and shoes so you don't get stabbed by its pieces. I'm doing myself justice, I hate that I'm advocating for my own abusers but honestly.. as I watch these people add value to the lives of others, and even are willing and wanting to never repeat what mistakes they've made.. I realize they're only bad to me, if I so choice to view them that way. To the ones who love them they're angels.

I hate that I might be alone in this but if I can lecture them into change and it has actually worked; I'll take the abuse if need be but they will by my hands learn their lesson.

I never thought I'd be the ones in the corner having their backs.

Im not perfect and I've made grave mistakes in my life, but I have to live with myself. So be it.

If I can forgive them, maybe never forget, then perhaps it will save them from a dark path I've seen repeatedly through those who've hurt me. Those who in turn, took their own lives. I don't blame them, it's hard to live after that experience, I'm not a victim, just afflicted. But I'll wield those afflictions to bring change.

Some people never change but I wield power over them as I'm living proof of thier guilt and shame. And one moment of my own torment does not define their entire being. The sooner I let go of that view the sooner we all can move on; and I don't have to let the pain define me.

I live in the scars and open wounds; where healing always takes place, where I have the choice to let it fade, or base my existence on dreadful experience. And I choose to move on. Especially since a broken nose is pretty impactful for persuasion. And even as hard it may be to face, these people are human, and even they deserve someone in their corner. Even if it's the victim.

With that being said I've grown closer with alot more people, and if after what they've did; are able to make the 180 change. Thay does show character.

No one where I live is okay, no one here is stable, not one single person. I've lived all over this place. The Psychiopaths I've met just need some guidance, the psychopaths I've met just need direction. I've earned to an extent their respect in the psychwards. And I don't use those words lightly I mean clinically diagnosed people; fuck pop psychology I'm talking about the real shit.

I've removed my presence from most socails and won't return. I need to heal and thats what I'm doing.

Lockdown changed the people of this place and their addictions for the worse. This is the worse its been here since the 1940s. I'm living in the substance abuse Capitol of the the country, so imagine how bad it was before lockdown. Multiply that by 3 or 5 and.. here we are.

This place doesn't let you leave se easily either. Run by drugs, violence, bigotry. And yet some of the kindest most genuine people I've ever met are from here. I strive to be like them. We've taking in so many refugees and they're just trying to navigate this broken system like the rest of us.

I wish more people would realize that. Atleast I have enough self defense I should be fine if I get jumped. Knowing these people play dirty around these parts.

Regardless, I'm gonna die my hair again, go hang out with some friends and try to keep myself alive and striving forward.

Here's to poverty and hopefully to an escape from this part of the country, there's kindness everywhere, and i myself will stay kind.

Your mentally ill blogger,

-н

[inkandpen22]

An Electric Connection (5/?)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Warnings: mild language, smut, fluff

Word Count: 5.1k (longer bc more important part)

Part Summary: Y/N and Eddie can't stop thinking about each other as they're out with their individual friends. When they finally get to see each other again, things become complicated, and reality sets in.

Masterlist

Your fingertips glide over a denim jacket and your mind wanders to Eddie. 'What's he doing? Is he thinking about me?' All of these questions and more enter your thoughts. You haven't been able to go five minutes without thinking about it. Now, looking at this distressed denim jacket on the hanger, it reminds you of him. The one he keeps on his dresser with all of the badges and pins.

“Y/N!"

You hum and whip your head around to see Chrissy holding up a yellow plaid skirt.

“I ask if you liked this?” She repeats with furrowed brows.

“Oh, uh… yeah!" You stammer. "It’s uh... It's very… yellow.” 

"No it is then," she concludes before placing it back on the rack. “You okay?” She questions with a curious look in her eye.

You hum and move on to the next section, hoping she won't ask any more questions.

“We missed you at the party last night."

You sigh. “I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really in the mood. I was so tired and could use the sleep.” 

“I get that. I feel like I’ve been drowning lately," she expresses, much to your surprise. Her blank expression morphs into a soft smile. “Well, if we win the championship next Friday then there will definitely be a reason to celebrate and you must come.” 

“Deal." You offer her a smile in return but remain stuck on her prior confession.

Meanwhile, Eddie is across down in Garth's garage trying to remain present at the practice, but his mind is keeping him occupied. Memories of last night continue to force themselves to his consciousness. Your touch lingers on his skin and all he wants to do is see you. When he starts thinking about this morning in the van, he can feel his dick getting harder and the last thing he needs is for the band to notice.

“Yo man," Garth calls out, gaining the attention of everyone. "You’ve been off all afternoon, what’s going on?” 

Eddie clears his throat nervously and moves to his spot by his mic. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

Jeff scoffs. “If you say you’re on shrooms again-”

Eddie scrunches his brows together. “No, no, it’s not that.” 

“What then?” Garth presses.

“Nothing, never mind," Eddie dismisses with a shake of his head. "Let’s just play, alright?"

“Okay then…” Jeff mumbles, glancing at Garth.

They share a curious look and wonder what the hell is up with their friend. Eddie is usually up everyone else's ass to get themselves together for practice. Yet, today, he's completely out of it and in some sort of daze they can't pinpoint.

—————————— 

Chrissy leaves your house at exactly 6:30 as planned. Then, true to his word, Eddie rings your doorbell at exactly 6:55. You practically run to the door, but calm down before you make yourself look like an absolute fool. You swing open the massive mahogany door with a grin. Eddie stands at the top of your stairs with a smirk.

“Hey you," you greet.

"Hey, Princess."

Eagerly, you grab his wrist and pull him inside. He chuckles and wraps his arms around you. Before any more conversation, you press your lips together, having longed to do it again all day.

"I brought something for you," he mumbles against your lips.

"Tiffany necklace? Brand new car?" You list jokingly.

He chuckles, "not quite." He pulls back and reveals something black from behind his back. "For you."

You take it hesitantly and begin to unfold it. As the letters on the front reveal themselves, you realize it's his Led Zepplin t-shirt. Instantly, your smile grows brighter and you peer up at him. Gleaming, you jump forward and drape your arms over his shoulders. He catches you in a bear hug.

You peck his lip and can't lose the grin etched on your face. “Missed you."

“Not as much as I missed you," he guarantees and kisses you again. “The boys kept giving me shit because I couldn’t focus.” 

You snicker. “Same with Chrissy.” 

“Sounds like we gotta be more subtle if this is gonna stay our little secret," he concludes with a sigh.

You nod. If things are to remain calm and not turn into a complete Hellfire vs. basketball team bloodbath, being discrete is crucial. Now that you think about it, it's very Romeo and Juliet-esk

“So, my tour?” Eddie questions.

You giggle and step back from his embrace. "Follow me," you instruct and take his hand. “The foyer, dining room, my dad's office," you list from your spot in the entry way. “Kitchen and family through there," you point toward the archway directly ahead. You turn around and start walking backward up the stairs. “Now, my favorite part of the house...upstairs..."

"Favorite party?" Eddie questions with a raised brow.

You shrug, "technically, my favorite part is the pool and hot tub out back, but I was sorta hoping to show you my room.” 

He smirks at her insinuation. "I'm all your's."

As you two enter your bedroom, Eddie takes it all in. It's exactly as he imagined it, well, close. He never pinpointed any colors specifically, but he knew it would be pastel, florally, and most of all extravagant. The light baby blue walls, the white upholstered headboard, and all-white matching duvet, yep looks like a princess's room. The pieces that make it look less like a catalog and more like a teen girl's room are the posters of the cheer squad, Hawkins High dances, but most importantly Rob Lowe and Johnny Depp. Your matching white vanity has its mirrored covered in polaroids, ranging from just you to photos of you and Chance or with a whole bunch of Populars.

“I know, it looks like a scene from a Pottery Barn catalog," you joke. "You can thank my mom.” 

Eddie laughs and his eyes wander to your bookshelf. Half of it is books and the other is full of records or tapes.

"Oh! What’d you think of the album?" You remember as you walk over to your walk-in closet. You disappear for a second to hang up Eddie's shirt as he looks around.

"I liked it, ten out of ten!” He answers as he scans your collection.

"See, knew it!” You giggle.

"Got anything else I should listen to?" He asks, noting a few familiar names, but nothing quite his taste, but who knows, you might surprise him again.

You emerge from your closet and join him. “I could make you a mix tape," you offer.

You don't think much of it, but to Eddie, music is everything. You offering to make him a tape is like buying him a promise ring.

He nods casually. "No yeah, cool." He tries to play it cool, but inside he's completely dying.

You reach up and peck his cheek, earning a smile from him. “In the meantime...” you slip your hand into his and start back toward your door. “I have something we could do��” 

You lead Eddie downstairs and through the remainder of the house to your sliding back door. Your parents insist on leaving the hot tub on, even in the winter months. You're not complaining, it does come in handy, like right now when all you want is to see Eddie Munson in his boxers again.

You turn to the boy with a mischievous smirk. “What do you say, Munson?” 

He releases a breathless chuckle and starts to remove his jacket. “Is that even a question?”

You snicker. “I’ll grab towels and something from the liquor cabinet."

On the way to your dad's stash in the dining room, you turn on the speaker system that travels throughout the house. A little rock radio will surely make Eddie feel right at home.

One benefit of your parents always being gone for one reason or another, is there's rarely anyone to tell you no. Living in your dad's tech-obsessed house rent-free definitely has its pros.

When you return with towels and a bottle of your dad's whiskey, Eddie is already in the hot tub relaxing. His eyes have since fallen shut and clearly, he's in need of it. He hears you shut the screen door and lifts his head.

“This feels like a fancy hotel!" He gushes.

“Am I the hot poolside waitress?” You grin, setting down the towels on the nearby chair.

You slip your t-shirt over your head and place it on the side table. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie watches from the hot tub. Your black braw clings to you and Eddie's lips part with a sharp inhale. His brows rise and he tries his best to not completely embarrass himself in front of you. Little does he know you watched him last night and had the same exact reaction. Casually, you begin to yank down your jeans, revealing your matching panties. Eddie rolls his eyes, knowing this may be the end of him.

Once you've climbed inside the hot tub, Eddie guides you to straddle his lap. This is exactly what you wanted all day, just you two, no one else, and peace. You brush some strands back from his cheeks gently.

"The boys were frustrated with me today because I couldn't focus," he admits with a slight blush to his cheek.

You snicker. "Really and what did you say?"

"Nothing. They wouldn't believe me if I told them," he chuckles.

"Same thing with Chrissy," you confess as your eyes fall to his tatted chest. "She could tell I was a little out of it."

Eddie tucks his fingers under your chin, urging you to meet his jet-black gaze. "We're gonna have a lot less time to hang out during the week. I guess I have to give you some thoughts to fill your head to satisfy you." He reaches up and presses his lips to yours.

Your hips roll forward, needing the friction. God, you want him so bad you'd just about anything.

Eddie grips your waist and guides you back until eventually, you're doing a slow rocking motion. Beneath you, you feel him getting harder against your panties.

You comb your fingers through his hair and tug at the root, earning a deep moan from him.

Right when you feel ready to take things to the next level, your doorbell rings. You and Eddie practically jump apart, causing the water in the hot tub to wave about. You both pant, struggling to catch your breath. Your eyes locked on the house.

"Expecting someone?" He asks.

"No..." You state with a hesitant curiosity. You start to climb out and grab a towel. "Stay here."

"You sure?" He checks, slightly concerned.

"No yeah, it's probably nothing," you assure him as you wrap the towel around yourself. "Plus, how do I explain you?"

"Yeah, fair enough," he complies.

You shuffle toward the front of your house. Who in the hell is showing up randomly on a Saturday night? Everyone, you're friends with should be at the mall, bowling alley or the abandoned Benny's Burgers where everyone parties.

You swing open your front door and are shocked to see Chance standing on your front porch. Your heart immediately sinks and your pulse begins to race.

He meets your gaze with a grin. "Hey, Baby"

"Uh, hey!" You manage to greet, but remain stunned.

He steps forward and gives you a quick peck. "Was in the neighborhood and was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner."

"Oh uh-" You glance over your shoulder, praying to God Eddie doesn't decide to check on you.

"You know, you really shouldn’t answer the door in a towel," Chance suggests. "You never who it could be."

You adjust your hair, bringing it forward over your shoulders. You had forgotten you were in a towel. The surprise of seeing Chance sorta tops that. "No yeah, I was just in the shower. I guess I didn't think about it..."

His brows scrunch together with a chuckle. "You got here quick. Surprised you could hear it from your room.

You kick yourself. You're a shit liar.

"Oh, well I just got out," you try to cover. "No yeah, I was already out and was in the kitchen."

"Gotcha, well I can wait if you wanna grab something to eat," he offers.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"I'm sorry," you sigh. "I totally would but with exams coming up, dance and application deadlines, I don’t want to get off track. I'm kinda using the quiet time with my parents gone to really isolate myself and focus."

The disappointment is hard to miss on Chance's features, but he does his best to mask it with a weak smile. "Oh okay, yeah, no worries. Proud of you, Baby." He gives you a quick peck on the cheek and heads down the steps. Then, he turns around. "So, see you Monday? Pick you up?"

"Definitely. Bye, drive safe!" You wave.

"Bye, Babe, love you." He winks.

You blow him a kiss as you always do. He jogs off back to his car parked in the driveway. As soon as he's in, you shut the door behind you. A subtle sense of relief rushes over you that he was convinced, but lying to him knocked you through a loop.

You start to head back to the backyard in a daze.

Chance is a good guy. He's supportive and accommodating.

You glide open the backdoor with an absentminded look that doesn't go unnoticed by Eddie. Instead of stepping out, you stand frozen in the doorway.

Chance went out of his way tonight to see if you wanted to go on a date. What kind of teenage boy does that?

The guilt and shame are starting to grumble you into pieces. Needing a minute, you spin on your heels and start to hurry toward the steps. Eddie rushes up from his spot and climbs out after you. He chases you all the way up the stairs and back to your bedroom. He hears you slam a door and realizes it's to your bathroom when he spots your towel laying just outside.

"Y/N?" He mutters and tries to door to find it locked. "Y/N, you okay? Who was at the door?"

You press your palms to the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror. This isn't you. You're clean-cut, honest, and hardworking. You don't... you don't go around cheating on your boyfriend of years with a drug-dealing metalhead.

The silence is killing Eddie. He knocks on the door, growing impatient with each passing minute. "Y/N, could you please at least answer me? You're making me nervous." When you don't respond, he presses his forehead against the door and pleads with you. "Babe, please..."

After a minute, you unlock the door and step passed him into your room.

"Who was it?" He asks.

You collect your towel off the floor and toss it onto your vanity chair. "Take a lucky guess," you remark with a snarky tone.

It doesn't take long for Eddie to piece it together based on your reaction. "Oh..." He mumbles, his eyes falling to the ground.

You snicker sarcastically as you begin to pace. Anxiously, you fidget with your fingers. You're a horrible person. You're doing everything you disapprove of and worse you didn't care until you saw Chance.

Eddie sighs, "Well did he see me or-"

"No, he didn't have a clue," you rush out.

Eddie feels a giant weight lift off his chest. At least he's not getting his ass kicked anytime soon.

"That's probably why I'm feeling like absolute shit right now," you express as your eyes remain locked on the floor.

Eddie rushes over to you and grips your shoulders, putting your pacing to a halt. "What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him!"

You yank his hands off of you. "But it’s killing me! It didn't really hit me until I saw him standing there on my front porch utterly oblivious and so willing to go out of his way to make time for me..." Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you stare into Eddie's eyes. A part of you wishes to cling to him, but the other knows deep down it's wrong. "I don't lie, Eddie! I hate it! I hate hurting people and here I am lying and cheating and-"

"Then forget about it!" He cups your face in his hands pleadingly.

You bring your hand up to lay on top of his and lean into his touch. You know it's the worst betrayal, but Eddie's warm touch eases your mind like the strongest drug.

"Just for a little bit... forget about it," he whispers.

Your eyes fall shut and Eddie leans down, brushing his lips against yours. "Eddie…" you whisper as a weak protest.

"Just allow yourself to relax for a minute," he instructs softly. "You’re so wired all the time, Princess. Relax, let me handle everything for a little…" He presses his lips to yours more aggressively and you don't fight him.

Your arms drape his shoulders, deepening the kiss. You're breaking all of yours morals, but you can't resist him.

Eddie walks you back until the back of your thighs hit your bed. You scoot back, never breaking from him. He hovers above you and moves his lips down to your neck. You rest on your bed as your lips part with a soft gasp.

“Is this okay?” He whispers against your collarbone.

You hum, too focused on the feeling to care.

Eddie's rough hands roam your body freely. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips travel from your neck and down to my chest on a slow trail. His fingers slip around your back and begin to fidget with the clasp of your bra, undoing it effortlessly. You slip your arms out from the clothing and Eddie tosses it aimlessly onto the floor. He wastes no time gliding the tip of his tongue down your chest to your tit, causing you to gasp.

Desperately, your fingers travel down his tatted chest to the rim of his boxers. Over the fabric, you begin to rub your hand over his already rock-hard dick. It's ungodly how turned on Eddie can make you and he can do it with little effort.

“Shit Y/N," he breathes against your chest.

Growing eager, you change courses and slip your fingers into his boxers. The still wet fabric clings to his skin.

Eddie grips your wrist, pausing your efforts. “Hold on, Baby. I was supposed to be focusing on you."

His glossy ink eyes meet yours and you can't help but beg for him. “Please...” 

He chuckles nervously and his eyes squeeze shut. “Oh no, God, don’t say that.” 

Comprehending the reason behind his words, you use your free hand to start where you left off. “Why not?” You question innocently, taking his dick in your hand.

His grip tightens around your wrist pleadingly. “Because if you do I won’t have the willpower to say no.” 

Amused by the power you have over him, you giggle. His eyes remain shut as he desperately tries to concentrate on not cumming in your hand.

You reach up and begin to suck on his neck, determined to leave a mark.

“Oh for fucks sake," Eddie moans.

You take advantage of his distracted state and urge him to lay down beside you. In one swift motion, you lift yourself up and straddle him.

“Y/N…” He mumbles as his hands find your waist.

You peer up at him as you start to kiss down his chest. “Please…” 

He drops his head down on the mattress, reluctantly giving in. His willpower holding on by a thread. “You’re no Princess. You’re evil," he whispers.

You giggle and continue your pursuit. You love pleasing Eddie and seeing him become utterly defenseless under your touch. His loud and intimidating demeanor fading all because of you. The idea of him cumming in your mouth is enough to get you wet.

Eddie urges you back so he can sit up. His arms wrap around you, hugging your bare chest to his. “Well you relaxed quickly," he grins. "Finally actually listen to me for once.” His eyes fall to your lips as he runs his thumb across the bottom. “I knew there was another side to you.”

You nod, on the verge of losing your mind if you don't get some sort of relief. Hungrily, you slam your lips to his, desperate to feel him. Your nails graze his chest, leaving thin red lines. Eddie groans at the sensation, wishing he could fuck you senseless.

“How about I make you feel good and then I’ll do anything you say?” You mumble against his lips as you attempt to slip his boxers off.

As he did before, he grips your wrist, bringing to his chest. “No, no, no,” he instructs. “Easy.” 

You sit back, meeting his gaze with a pout. “Seriously!”

He sighs. “No, no, don’t do that.”

Despite his request, you continue to pout unapologetically, though outwardly you pretend to be utterly innocent.

Eddie huffs, bringing his hand to your jaw, squeezing your cheeks slightly. “Aw come on, that’s not fair," he argues.

"Punish me then..." The foreign phrase falls from your lips from you don't know where. You've never said anything quite like it before and based on Eddie's surprised reaction, he wasn't expecting it either.

“Alright fuck it." He finally breaks. His arm wraps around your back before he lifts you and lays you gently on the bed.

In a flash, he's down your chest, stomach, and eventually between your legs yanking off your panties. "I'll teach you to listen to me, Princess," he states sternly as he peers up at you.

“Fuck," you whisper as your eyes fall shut.

Eddie's fingers brush against your folds, causing you to shutter. You've never felt anything quite like it. The rush of electric euphoria is addicting and overwhelming.

"Already so wet for me, Princess," Eddie purrs.

You can feel his hot breath wave over your inner thigh as he speaks. You release a soft moan as he continues to glide his fingers in circles over your clit.

"I want to taste you, Baby," he mumbles and plants a kiss to your inner thigh. "Has someone ever made you feel like this?"

You shake your head slightly, too focused on the sensation building up in your core.

Eddie loves seeing you react to him this way. He's envisioned it so many times. He's daydreamed of your plump glossed lips around his dick during class more than he'd like to admit. He wants to make you feel so good that Chance won't be so much as a thought in your mind. He intends on making you is and his alone, even if it's your little secrete.

Anticipation nearly drives you mad, then Eddie slips a finger into you. His tongue works in unison, moving in a circle around your clit.

“Eddie…” You whimper as your head tilts back.

“That’s right, Baby Girl, beg," he instructs with a husky tone.

“Please..." You comply breathlessly.

He groans. “God, you make me so hard.” 

With every syllable that falls from your perfect lips, Eddie is one step closer to the edge of wanting to fuck your brains out. You're being so obedient and the fact that you'd do anything he wants has to be the hottest thing he's ever experienced.

As Eddie adds another finger, you gasp. Your walls begin to clench around him as the sensation builds up in your core. The thought of cumming on Eddie's fingers is enough to push you over the edge.

“Uh, uh, not yet," he instructs, emerging from between your legs. He slips his fingers out and you huff in frustration. He's such a tease.

He grabs you by the chin, urging you to meet his gaze. “Not until I say, Princess," he states sternly. "Is that understood?"

You roll your eyes and before you can complete the action, Eddie's large hand wraps around your neck. Your lips part as a sharp inhale travels between them. Eddie's eyes fall to them with a hooded gaze. "I said, is that understood?"

You nod as chills form on your skin. His demands and tone are unlike any side of Eddie you've ever seen. It ignites something in you. If you weren't already enthralled with him, you sure are now.

“Good girl," Eddie purrs as he moves back down between your legs. He peers up and meets your eyes with a smirk. “You need to ask for permission.” 

He's relentless with his motions. His focus on your clit causes your back to arch in a way you hadn't thought possible. He has complete control of you and he knows it... he loves it. He flicks his tongue and it sends shock waves throughout your body.

“Can I please cum?” You plead, knowing you won't last much longer.

“Not yet," he demands, tightening his grip on your thighs. His nails dig into your skin with a deep intensity.

"This isn't fair," you whine between pants.

He chuckles and you can feel the vibration between your legs. "You're the Queen of not playing fair."

Just to piss you off more, Eddie slips two fingers inside your soaking wet folds. He curls them, hitting a spot that makes you fist the fabric of your comforter. His pace steady, but any quicker and you'll become an utter mess.

"Can I... I please cum?" You stutter.

He ticks his tongue and shakes his head with a smirk. "So needy, Princess. I don't think you've learned your lesson..." Biting down on his lip, Eddie moves up to hover over you. His free hand latches around your neck as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. "I'm going to make you cum so hard you'll scream... and when you do, I'm going to taste every bit of it."

His words alone could make you reach your limit. It's gratifying.

Without warning, Eddie picks up his pace, thrusting in and out of your pussy. Your breathing quickens into short pants.

"Eddie... Eddie... I Can't..." You stutter desperately.

He continues his assault with a wicked smirk as your eyes roll back in pleasure. "That's a good girl, use your words." He removes his hand from your throat and starts to kiss the now slightly red skin. He can feel your walls clench around his fingers. Your wetness coats them, making him eager to taste you again.

Your hands grip his shoulder blades. Your nails dig into his skin pleadingly, begging for a release.

"Okay, I think you deserve it now," he whispers in your ear. "Cum for me, Princess." He begins to circle your clit with his thumb, causing your back to arch again.

You don't hesitate to feel the climax of your pleasure. A deep moan escapes you as your eyes squeeze shut. The intense pressure building in your core releases and you chase the high. "Fuck... Fuck... Holy fucking shit."

As the sensation steadiness and you catch your breath, Eddie moves down between your legs. His tongue glides up your folds, collecting every bit of cum he can.

Your fingers comb through his hair, gripping the roots as your sensitivity from his actions nearly makes you jolt.

He props himself up beside you as your eyes flutter open. Your eyes meet his and he wears a proud grin. Without a word, he leans down and plants a gentle kiss on your lips. "You're amazing," he mutters against your lips.

Utterly determined, you sit up and urge him to lay down.

"Uh, what are you doing?" He questions.

"Returning the favor." You smirk, gliding your nails down his chest until you reach the rim of his boxers.

"You know, Baby, I-"

Ignoring him, you eagerly yank them off and toss them wherever.

He props himself up on his elbows to look at you. "You don't-"

Before he can finish, you wrap your hand around his dick, causing him to inhale sharply with a hiss.

"Real... Really, you don't-"

You waste no time taking him in your mouth, dragging your tongue across the tip.

He gasps and falls down onto his back. "Okay, never mind, keep going. Fuck..."

You relax your throat and take what you can. What length of him remains, you pump with your hand.

Once Eddie gets past the initial shock of pleasure, he collects your hair in his fist to keep it out of your way. The vision he's daydreamed a thousand times is a reality and he could cum right now, but he wants to enjoy it.

Your innocent looking eyes flicker up, meeting his and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth.

"Jesus..." He pants. "You can't look at me like that."

You hollow out your mouth as you glide up his dick and release him with a pop. You run your thumb across your bottom lip seductively and bat your eyelashes at him. "Like what?"

He chuckles weakly and allows his head to fall back. "You're wicked."

You giggle and return to your task. You increase the suction as you take him deep in your throat, loving every minute of it. Eddie's moans and short breaths make you wish it'll never stop. You take his ball in your empty palm and he rolls his hips.

"I'm... I'm... close, Baby," he pants.

"Cum in my mouth," you instruct as you admire his angelic state. His hair clings to his forehead with a thin layer of sweat. His jet black eyes screwed shut. "I want you to cum in my mouth so hard."

"Oh God...you should have a warning label," he whispers.

You giggle, anticipating his climax. You wrap your lips around him and quicken your pace. With your free hand, you drag your nails down his chest, knowing how much he loves it.

"Fuck...Fuck...I'm so close...Fucking shit." He swiftly props himself up on an elbow and grips the roots of your hair. He watches you as you take him in your mouth effortlessly. The sight is something he'll never get tired of. "Oh, shit!"

You feel him twitch in your mouth and it's followed by a rush of warmth in your mouth. It's a salty bitterness that coats your tongue.

"Fuck... Holy shit... Jesus Fuck," he pants.

When you're certain he's finished, you sit back on your knees and swallow. Eddie peers at you with the utmost admiration. He leans forward and runs his thumb across your bottom lip, wiping away any wetness.

You close the short distance between you and slam your lips to his. He wraps his arms around you, urging you to straddle him.

"Stay?" You ask breathlessly against his lips.

He grins. "You're crazy if you thought I was leaving."

You both laugh and look forward to the rest of the night.

____________________

Masterlist

Tags:@mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @totallynotkaibiased @riffcrusader @hurricane-abigail @httpjiikookook @shinydixon @foggystudentgentlemenblog @creativedogs @emo-cosplayer @hiccup005 @honeydewpie @fabienne250503 @letthelampsshine @brain-of-nekoma @spiderman-berries @cat-mak20 @thegirlthatsfalling @milkiane @chicha027 @sweetboitom @witheringawayagain @tssf-imagines

[leeminholinoing]

Hi Chloe, this has nothing to do with the fandom discourse in the last few days but i was thinking about Pleasing and as you usually talk about it, I would like to ask if you think it will keep on being a nailpolish/skincare brand?

I haven't bought anything from Pleasing because the prices are too high and i also don't usually use nailpolish, so it really doesn't make much sense to me. And i also noticed especially in the last drop that people seem less interested on the brand than before. Like, i mostly heard people talk about the beach bag and not much about the nailpolishes.

Wouldn't it make sense if they expanded the brand to like clothes and acessories? Because i think that's what most fans are interested in. I think harries want to use something that connects them to Harry, and basic nailpolish just doesn't do that. And the fact that people don't really see Harry super involved with the brand doesn't seem to help either.

I just don't see harries keep on buying overpriced nailpolish every 3 moths for much longer. And they are also not even trying to expand the brand outside Harry's fandom. Pleasing doesn't really seem much susteinable to me. But what are your thoughts on it?

Hi! I actually looked on the website this morning and saw that only the beach bag was sold out from the latest drop 😬

I've also noticed that harries have been less into it and really only cared about the first drop when harry seemed to be more involved. I absolutely loooooove that they decided to be smart about their money and also calling out hshq members for trying to sell them stuff just by putting harry's name on it.

I think you're right by saying people are more interested in the apparels and accessories than the beauty products and wanting to wear something harry has worn seems to also be their main criteria to buy things and I tend to think like them.

If I liked the brand and the people behind it I would have maybe bought that first crewneck they sold just because harry had worn it and it was simple and pretty.

I'll be honest I really want this brand to flop because it really seems to me like harry's "friends" tried to capitalize on his fans without trying to actually do something the fans would like. I hate the tone of their campaigns and I hated the "giving back to fans" narrative.

I think having three drops in less than a year is asking too much out of fans and they also weirdly time the drops with other things harry releases so obviously fans will buy harry's music and merch before buying nail polish and skincare. I don't think they'll be able to keep this rhythm for long and you can already tell by the last drop that there was less budget than for shroom bloom (no celebrities as the face, no popup shop just caravans, no translator for the italian names). Them also using blue and green to try to get larries on board was so on the nose, it was ridiculous and frankly a good sign that they are getting desperate.

They kind of shot themselves in the foot by saying it was harry styles' genderless nail polish brand because they can't stop selling polish now which is the least appealing of their products (with the skincare stuff). If they were clever they'd try to sell candles too (which is something most of us have always wanted from harry) but like you I can't see this brand making a mark in the beauty world. They should try getting people outside of this fandom on board bc clearly they haven't gain many consumers within the fandom.

jeff once said "the metric is to exist" and he doesn't seem to have learned anything in the past 7 years so I don't think he has the endurance or the creativity to change course and find new ways to engage harry's fandom AND people interested in polish/skincare as a whole. Him, Molly and Harry L thought harries were stupid and would buy whatever shit they would sell with harry's name but they were wrong and I'm living for harries proving them (and me tbh) wrong!

[silvesi]

1, 4, 5 and 6 for Larry

LARRY!! I’m so glad someone asked, I make the mistake of not talking about him much even though I love my shroom…. Sorry it took a while to reply! For the record, I actually made Larry as a joke and then got emotionally attached.

Write a basic lowdown of your OC. What’s their deal?

Larry, aka Lichen Larry, aka Larold (yes, Larold is his actual name, don’t call him that or he’ll ignore you for about 5 hours.). Thirdborn (maybe second?), cycle of dusk. My commander, at least for now ;) Despite being alive for as long as he has, never had a Wyld hunt until the beginning of the personal story, instead spending a lot of his time mentoring saplings and defending the Grove. During his first year he was a TERRIBLE warrior, despite this being what he really really wanted to do, protect and teach people, but… he eventually realised that He Just Couldn’t See Properly and really needed glasses. 

Felt like he was lagging way behind all his peers due to not having a hunt, so eventually joined the priory to try to make his own way a bit more, distancing himself from most of the sylvari somewhat.  

Quite a gentlemanly character. Tends to keep to himself, while remaining polite and open enough to enable diplomatic friendships with a variety of people. Still has a slight disdain for asura, viewing the ones that are his friends and colleagues as the “exception” to the rule (of them being assholes, that is). Outwardly viewed as VERY put together, but I imagine his closer friends know he can be a bit of a worrier - mostly about other people. Usually decides everyone else’s issues are his own and will silently go out of his way to try and fix them. 

4. Do they have a family or people they view as family?

Larry DID have a wife at one point, Mal - she went nightmare court. She took their fern hound with them. Larry is NOT OKAY ABOUT THIS and WILL go on a murder mission to get his puppy back. In terms of family, although he’s been quite close to some of the second/firstborn, I imagine it's currently mostly found within the priory, as he’s been a member for a long time. Unfortunately I’m not really in a knowledgeable enough position to give names - although he mentored a sylvari, another one of my characters - Valerayn. They were very close, but had some kind of falling out. Why? Who knows. Larry is currently in a position in his life where he feels he doesn’t really have too many close relationships, to be honest, especially with his duties as commander keeping him away from the priory. Although, naturally, he and Trahearne become very close over the course of the main quest. 

He also becomes quite protective over Fedsy, being in the grove at the same time as Feds was practically thrown straight out of the pod into a wyld hunt - he teaches him a lot and they do tend to accompany each other frequently. Although fundamentally different people in terms of personality and a fair few other things, they both want what’s best and Larry does come to act as a father figure for him. 

Due to his time teaching and mentoring there’s probably also a LOT of random sylvari that love and respect him. He’s always got some kind of support network, despite how he feels. 

5. Their most favorite map/place in general?

I haven’t done much of the colder regions but I can tell you that Larry prefers them. He finds the presence of the mountains oddly calming, and enjoys feeling like he’s removed from the ‘pressures’ of the Grove. I can see him really enjoying spending time in Hoelbrak, to be honest! He thinks it’s cosy as heck and I can somehow see him really vibing with the Norn. (He is fascinated by the Dolyak and I think his favourite thing to do would be sit next to a huge fire to warm up after the most gruelling fight through a dungeon, cleaning his armour and sharing stories with some nice food. He values that, and the Norn do it best.)

6. How do they celebrate the holidays, if at all?

I imagine that Larry thinks the holidays, especially of the other races are FASCINATING. He contains his excitement well, but you should not doubt that he really loves being involved in them when he can be. I’d put him as quite a lover of the Wintersday festival, and despite it all, Dragons bash. He can be found beating holograms up in the arena and then sat quietly in a circle with a warm mug of mulled wine listening contentedly to other people’s stories - although he’s not one for dramatized tales of his own exploits. Sure, he’s up for that kind of attention in the arena, but anywhere else? No thank you. As for Wintersday? I think he’s a big gift giver, especially since he’s not the most emotive in terms of displays of affection. He gives GREAT gifts (He got Fedsy the little suit he wears!)

[wellthatwasaletdown]

We talked about this not that long ago. Seeing the constant criticism from the fandom; people saying you look pregnant every time you wear a baggy shirt; seeing pictures of yourself all the time; the pressures of fame; etc. It all takes a toll.

The people that say she looks pregnant want her to be pregnant. That's why they keep pushing it.

I will say this bc it happened to Camille, Olivia has lost weight. She wasn't big to begin with, so it's more noticeable. You can really tell in her arms & face/neck. This isn't me body shaming her btw.

I've also noticed she is using more botox in her lips. I can only imagine the pressure she is under keeping up w her younger boyfriend that is admired by so many women. She knows how easy it is to be tempted by even the most faithful person & Harry isn't known to be faithful.

Olivia might say this is the happiest she has ever been, but I'm not buying it. So, to the ppl that want her pregnant in the worst way, I don't think it would be in her best interest - not that I have a say.

I will say when she was w Jason & had Otis & Daisy, she was healthy. She was glowing & at a healthy weight. She took care of herself. This relationship w Harry might be fun, but it's not a healthy one.

She has already admitted to doing shrooms w him, I know they get high bc I have seen her high as a kite, I know they drink bc I have seen it w my own two eyes. The flying back & forth all over the place isn't healthy when you're pregnant. Not in the last trimester AND ppl might not want to hear this but having a baby past the age of 35 is risky.

There's a higher risk of having a baby w down syndrome, stillbirth & maternal death. I'm not trying to scare anyone, but I am currently a nursing student majoring in pediatrics & altho I may not know everything, these are known facts. (sorry so long)

I know that they want her to be, but, as a woman, when people keep saying that you look pregnant, it takes a toll. And, for a celebrity, it's worse because it ends up on gossip sites and in tabloids, which is why I keep telling people to stop.

[boxboysandotherwhump]

Monsters and mushrooms

Tags:  @salamancialilypad  @whumpfigure @albino-whumpee @comfy-whumpee  @ashintheairlikesnow   @haro-whumps   @moose-teeth @vickytokio​ @yet-another-heathen​ @orchidscript

A Nature fun fact: Bioluminescent mushrooms do exist actually and snails have the habit to foam when distressed in order to deter predators and protect their soft body from tiny satans like ants.

Chapter 4

CW: emotional overload, negative stimming, fear of abandonment, hints at past abusive parent

Sahar hasted up to the farm, stumbling on the crooked steps.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to cry but he’d forgotten how to stop and the world around him dissolved into a melted aquarelle painting of leaves and grass and roots as he stormed past the house. 

He wedged himself between the root and the old stump they chop firewood on, eyes fixed on the axe still rammed inside, his back hitting the root over and over and over again, while he purged all the unwanted feelings from his body through movement. 

There would be bruises tomorrow, Sahar thought when his violent rocking finally slowed into a gentle rhythm.

His lips trembled around one long shaky exhale and his tears finally subsided. Their tracks were only crusty streaks of salt water now, not overwhelming aches.

Sometimes, Sahar hated his body, hated it for being overwhelmed by the stupidest things, hated to have a brain full of misfiring neurons at war with themselves. A brain that made it unbelievably more difficult to exist, as what he was, in this world.

Maybe this was some kind of divine punishment.

But for what?

“Sahar?” Moira’s head peeked over the root and her worried face peered down at his cowering form. “There you are, sweetheart.”

He didn’t meet her eyes, only tugged his knees tight to his chest, ready to hide his face from whatever scolding was to come.

There had always been reprehension when he hadn’t been able to behave himself. Until all of his mother’s angry words hadn’t been enough and she’d abandoned him. At long last. 

Ugly icky fear gnawed away at his insides, a sharp toothed beast he desperately wanted to banish but couldn’t. He rocked up against the root once more. Let his shoulder blades collide with it until he  felt the scratch of rough bark through his grey linen shirt.  

Sometimes his thoughts paused, stayed on safe routes and away from the maelstroms of his ever racing mind when he rocked or tapped or hummed enough. But now was no such time. .

Sahar’s thoughts spun and spiraled. Crashed violently into one another on their collision curses.

Please don’t throw me out. Away. I can behave. I can be disciplined. I promise. I promise. I promise. Please!

The curtain closed and left the window dark.

“Sahar?”

Wait.

There were no curtains here.  And no city streets. No concrete roads or bleeding knees.

Only warm earth under his fingertips. 

A long grass blade brushed his calf and Sahar closed his eyes to focus on the barely there tickle against his skin. The expansion of his ribcage, how it filled with the lavender scented air, inherent to his home, on every inhale and his eyes fluttered open.

“Yeah. I’m here.”

Here. Here. Here. And I can stay.

Moira began to heave Asmodea over the root with a loud huff that had Sahar instantly uncurl and twist around to take the snail with a firm, gentle grip from her arms. The snail immediately clung onto him as best as her soft slimy body allowed, wiggling in exasperated little waves until Sahar finally sat back down and put her over his lap.

“There, there baby. There you you you, there you  go.”

He couldn’t help but smile as Asmodea draped herself flat over his legs, making no move to retreat into her shining shell. It’s brown and black stripes still shimmered from the shower Sahar had given her yesterday. 

“Sahar? Can you listen to me?”

Hunching protectively over Asmodea, he gave a hesitant nod.  “Yes.”

Moira didn’t like it when she had to repeat herself. It made her livid when he or Ansgar ended up absorbed in one-

Ansgar.

Something hot and heavy lodged itself in Sahar’s throat at the memory of his furious gaze. Ansgar had never looked at him like this, ever before, but Sahar realized why, now, after he had a moment to collect his racing thoughts, to calm his hammering heart.  He really had been bad. Immature, thoughtless, utterly ludicrous.

But even so he knew. God how he knew.

Even after everything-

“Ansgar and Eric persuaded the… headhunter, to try his luck up in Berlin.” Moira began, lips pursed in displeasure. “Your house arrest remains nevertheless. Don’t give me that look. You’ve been irresponsible and ill-mannered, young man. No matter how good a reason you may think you had, you have to control yourself.”

A protest burned on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed the sizzle of anger down, buried it deep inside himself where all his other unsafe emotions were banished.

“I know. I I- I’m sorry.”

Moira shook her head with a sigh, grey curls swishing softly from side to side. “Just be better from now on and stay put for the next few days.  No strolling through the farm woods either.”

His fingers began to tap an anxious rhythm onto Asmodea’s shell, while her body pulsed in soothing waves over his thighs. One of her eyes gently nudged his forearm.

“What, uhm what, but if if if one of the snails, if one  gets lost and-“

Moira’s strict tone nipped his tender try at backtalk at the bud, rendering him silent for good.

“Ansgar and I will take care of that then. I have to go now. The others already left to check the InD-Unit’s for a possible breakthrough. I don’t trust one word out of this guy’s mouth, and I expect you to stay close to the house. Did I make myself clear?”

The scar on his arm stretched uncomfortably as he curled tighter around Asmodea, desperate for his friend’s silent support. Their soft body wiggled gently in response.

“Yes, ma’am.”

------------------------------------------------

“We gonna go pick glowy shrooms! Glowy shrooms! Glowy shrooms!”

Mara shrieked, running in circles around Charlotte, a woven basket clutched tightly in her small brown hands. Her yellow hairband fluttered and the ‘thud thud thud’ of her prosthetic leg got drowned out by the other children’s laughter, hot on her heels in a tumultuous chase for the basket.

A small pale boy broke out into a bright grin as he caught himself from stumbling over the hem of his pants, way too long for his small, stubby legs.

“Did Julian steal Hanne’s clothes again?” Kaja emerged from one of the orphanage’s many crooked entrances with a box of flashlights under one arm. A bag full of pocket knives dangled from the other as she dodged a low hanging wooden beam with practiced ease.

Charlotte took the box from her with an irritated sigh. “I’m glad he’s wearing clothes at all, this time.”

“Are you sure you can handle them on your own?”

Kajas cocky grin vanished under Charlotte icy glare. Blue eyes frosted over as she yanked the bag from Kajas hands and shouted: “Everyone who does not want to stay home lines up here now! You don’t lose your flashlight and when I see one pocket knife flicked open for anything other than picking mushrooms you celebrate the festival in your room. Am I clear?”

The children’s excited shrieks died in an instant as they hurried to get in line, waiting obediently for Charlotte to hand every one of them their items and making a show off storing them dutifully away in their pants pockets and backpacks.

The perfect picture of orderly compliance.

Everyone knew it would last for as long as it would take them to leave the orphanages grounds.

___

 The academy yard’s gravel crunched under Gideon’s boots as he snuck away from yet another disciplinary task. He had scrubbed all the bathrooms to shine in the past, had assisted in the kitchen more than once, and had sorted the trainings gear enough times to know it by heart.

Sometimes he even understood why it always ended up like this.

What he couldn’t understand, however, was having to clean up the entire two story training hall because that stupid farm boy provoked him. For once, he hadn’t even done anything. At least nothing that wouldn’t have been deserved.

Not that the little shit had been helpless.

“Where do you think you’re going?!”

Gideon nearly choked at his upperclassman’s call. His hands clutched the spear’s strap dangling from his shoulder tighter and  he turned to face the young man who had hurried over from their living quarters. His dark thick brows were harsh, frowning lines in a permanently stern face.

“Berkan.” The corners of Gideon’s mouth twitched. He was really in no mood to deal with this stuck-up right now. “Just out for some late night practice.”

It wasn’t even a lie. He did want to get some extra training in, only someplace where he had some damn peace for once. Who could have thought the countryside would be even more suffocating than a life under his father’s roof.

Turning around before Berkan opened his mouth in protest Gideon hurriedly added,“Just finished the cleaning ‘n shit. Go look for yourself if you want.” before he skidded down the large staircase leading down from the academy campus.

Even if Berkan decided to check up on his task Gideon would be already gone by the time the other boy realized he hadn’t done shit.

 ____

 Sahar rubbed slow circles over Asmodea’s head, right between her antennas. It was one of her favorite spots, right after the underside of her foot, when Sahar would gently wipe it clean with a fluffy towel whenever she’d managed to get something unpleasantly stuck to her body. Like the godforsaken acidic tree sap she had blindly glid through on their first forest excursion.

Asmodea carefully extended one eye, gently poking Sahar’s other hand while she began to softly nibble his leg. The raspy sandpaper-like sensation made him chuckle and his fingers began to tap over the warm earth. 

“Hey, hey hey. I’m fine. Don’t, don’t worry.”

Another enthusiastic nibble made him smile, bright and toothy for the first time on a day unpredictable like a summer monsoon.

Sahar was just about to coax Asmodea from his lap and get some strawberry, when a gut wrenching shriek pierced the evening air. 

Something rustled through the bushes.

He shouldered Asmodea and sprung to his feet in one fluid motion, eyes fixed on the timberline and heart stuck in his throat.

Don’t tell me?! Did something break through the border after all?

His pulse hammered in his ears as Sahar listened to the sound of snapping twigs, to the rapid ‘thud thud thud’  coming closer with every second ticking by. His thoughts raced. Would he be fast enough to hurl Asmodea over the root? To jump after? His eyes snapped to the axe. Could he run at all?

The bushes parted.

Sahar was about to throw his friend over the root, risking an injury to her precious shell, when he saw who had screamed. His body froze dead in its tracks and Asmodea fummed in paniked protest. 

Mara had burst out of the thick bushes, covered in scratches, her little face blotchy and tear crusted. The yellow hairband that had been seemingly fused to her head was nowhere to be found and the glittering drawings on her prosthetic leg were smeared over with dirt. Sahar was kneeling by her side in an instant.

“Hey hey hey hey what- what happened? Mara?”

Wiping at tears rolling in endless rivers down flushed chubby cheeks, Sahar scanned her shivering disheveled form for injuries that, to his immense relief, didn’t seem to exist.

“Hey hey hey, It’s fine. It’s fine now. I- I’m here. Every- everything’s fine, fine now.”

“Nonononono.” Her tiny hands fisted in his shirt as she pressed her forehead against his collarbone, shaking and rubbing her head into Sahars skin.

Her fluffy curls brushed his chin.

“Monster. A monster. Monster at the glowy clea- clealing!”

“Glowy- what what what do, what do you mean?”

His hands tapped a rapid-fire rhythm over her shaking shoulder blades as Sahar tried to make some sense of her choked-off babbling. 

Sobbing, Mara dug the remnants of a squashed luminescent mushroom out of her pocket. The glowing blue pulp dripped down her fingers and painted sparkling droplets of night sky onto the muddy earth.

“Oh. Oh! The the The clearing! I know, I know, know now. That that that’s close. Were, were were you, were you- were- fuck.” Balling his hands into fist tight enough to leave crescent indentations in the soft flesh of his palm, Sahar forced a long breath in through his nose and out of his uncooperative mouth.

Slow now, sweetheart. Don’t get too worked up again.

“Were you and the others pick- pick picking- for the fest?”

Burying herself back against Sahar’s chest with a frantic nod Mara howled: “The others- the monster, the monster trapped them!”

A breakthrough. Fuck, fuck. Fuck! There must have been one.

She trembled as he held her at arm’s length, meeting dark panic hazy eyes with a determination he thought had died that fateful autumn night eight years ago.

“Listen Mara. I, I I go to the clearing and and and you run to to to the, run to the tea house. Every- everyone’s gonna be, be there warming up for for for for tomorrow.”

He hastily wiped her cheeks before hoisting her over the root. Sahar flashed her a wry smile, trying to look braver than he felt.

“Everything’s gon- gon- gonna be fine.”

Sahar willed his hands not to shake as he tore the Axe from the cutting stump and vanished into the woods.

[slytherinshitposts]

NYE 2020

Bellatrix: What are we doing to celebrate the new year, my sweets?

Hermione: *nonchalantly as she writes up a report for Zoom Uni* Oh, me and the gang are probably gonna try these shrooms Neville’s been growing in his backyard all pandemic.

Bellatrix: *chokes on her spit* SHROOMS?! *hysterical coughing ensues*

[Enters Andy, Cissa, and Tonks laughing. All three women stop upon seeing Bellatrix beating her chest, red in the face. They turn to Hermione who is unfazed, confused]

Tonks: Umm.. Mione? What’s wrong with Aunt Bella?

Hermione: *looks away from her paper* Huh?.... Oh! I told her our plans for NYE this year and I guess her spit went down the wrong pipe.

Bellatrix: *gasps loudly as her sisters rub her back* Andy! Did you know your delinquent was going to be doing DRUGS!! With my precious and pure Hermione?!

[Andy and Cissa share a look and then turn to Tonks]

Tonks: *shrugs non-committedly* Well I did tell you we were going to Neville’s for NYE. Besides, you let me get high, mom and I’ve heard the stories about you and aunt bella and aunt Cissa. Shrooms aren’t that bad in a controlled environment.

Bellatrix: What kind of mother are you, Andy?! DRUGS?!

Cissa: Oh, come off it Bellatrix. Don’t forget the last time you decided to take a couple edibles when we went to visit mom and dad. Remember that uber ride back home?

[Tonks and Hermione jumps as Andromeda barks out in laughter. Doubling over as tears well in her eyes]

Andy: Oh *gasp* my *gasp* GOD. Now THAT was a time!!

[Bellatrix groans and pushes a laughing Narcissa away from her as she approaches Hermione at her desk]

Hermione: I’m suddenly very intrigued by this turn of events. Do tell more.....

Tonks: yes. Tell us all about aunt Bella’s wild night on EDIBLES. This is gonna be pure blackmailing gold!

Bella: Oh shut up, morphling. *sighs* but I’m afraid I don’t remember anything from that night at all.

Andy: BWAHAHAHAHA! That’s complete bullshit! You went on days and days griping about how embarrasssing you must have looked! *laughs louder*

Cissa: So you girls know how me and my sisters go to our parents monthly to check in with them. Well one weekend we decided to try these new edibles Andy’s been experimenting with. While we were having dinner with our parents Bella decided she should start earlier and took more than the suggested amount. So, anyways, the night went on as usual. We said our goodbyes and decided to take a car back to my loft in the city. Well, as we were driving off from the esta—

Andy: *cuts in* BELLA SUDDENLY GRABS THE TOP OF HER HEAD AND STARTED SCREAMING AT THE DRIVER TO TAKE HIS TIME AND DRIVE OR ELSE SHE’LL SPILL ALL OVER THE PLACE HAHHAAAHH

Cissa: We asked her what she meant and she turned to us with a deathly scared face and said “I’m a milkshake and if he drives too fast my top will come off and I’ll spill all over the place and I don’t wanna spill!” And started cry—BWAHHAHAHAHA*laughs loudly*

[Bellatrix hides her blushing face in Hermione’s unkempt hair as the girl chuckles till she’s red in the face by the story]

Hermione: Thats actually really funny. I can only imagine that. Now I kinda want you to join us NYE, Bella.

Bella: NO. Nope! You go and have your fun but be safe! I will never forget that feeling. I really did feel like someone changed me into a milkshake and I was seconds away from spilling. It’s not funny!

[Bella puts on a face of irritation only to laugh as Hermione looks at her and smiles. Opening her arms for a hug, school work forgotten, Hermione holds her lover as everyone comes down from their hysteria]

Bella: Edibles are evil. Promise you’ll never do them, kitten.

Hermione: *smirks* ......sure.

Based on this twt post:

[0gasstationcoffee]

LWA rewatch episode 8

·      I remember not really getting this episode when I first saw it so I’m excited to watch it again. Plus it’ll give a better understanding into Sucy

·      Sad that there’s probably no Ursula in it tho : (

·      Lmao Sucy just wants to not talk to any other people. Same girl

·      Ha Sucy was about to test her potion on Akko before realizing it might make Akko good at magic and girl just said nope not on my watch

·      Akko is getting way more serious about school, she was freaking out about almost being late

·      Sucy: completely unresponsive. Akko and Lotte: yeah probably just a shroom

·      Omg they came back to the room and Sucy is still asleep SURROUNDED BY MUSHROOMS

·      Akko: She didn’t even perk up at the word mushroom. Lotte: HOW TERRIBLE. I love this team

·      Akko’s trying so hard to get one of the teachers and Lotte keeps stopping her, what a role reversal

·      Lotte: remember that time we got detention because we had a snack party in the middle of the night. And then got suspended for using our summoning magic to order a pizza WHILE WE WERE STILL IN DETENTION????

·      THE RED TEAM IS BALLS TO WALL INCREDIBLE

·      Akko immediately volunteering to go into Sucy’s mind to wake her up lol

·      Okay so according to Lotte, Sucy isn’t in deep slumber because of the potion she drank but got sick while handling the ingredients. Sleeping Witch Sickness.

·      Also I know and you know that I just want more Ursula all the time but this is honestly a perfect time to have gotten Ursula, they wouldn’t be in trouble!

·      Lmao Lotte just gave her all the potions and then knocked Akko the fuck out

·      The good and bad Sucy’s are talking about killing Akko and she’s just like “can we talk about that later I still have to help Sucy”

·      So every characteristic you have is basically personified in your conscience. That’s interesting

·      Sucy that just wants to spit on everything

·      I wonder what the name of the nice Sucy who gave Akko flowers was

·      LMAO The Sucys that are up for execution: The one who wants to get into Nightfall, the one who wants to baby talk to animals, the Hollywood celebrity Sucy, the eyelash loving Sucy

·      Yet again, Akko is in mortal peril

·      OML you can see the heads just falling off the cliff for every Sucy they execute

·      Okay that’s pretty ingenious. Akko just catches the little devil Sucy in her mouth and uses her staff thingy to unlock her handcuffs

·      Oh nevermind, those weren’t heads falling off the cliff. Just warmups

·      DID

·      OMG

·      DID SHE

·      DID AKKO JUST JUMP UNDERNEATH A GUILLOTINE BLADE

·      WHAT

·      IS THAT EVEN SAFE LIKE WILL SHE DIE IF SHE DIES IN SUCY’S MIND OR JUST GET EJECTED

·      Akko I’m this close to telling Ursula about your reckless behavior

·      Yikes I know there’s gonna be an obvious downside to Akko freeing the Sucys but like always, she meant well

·      Oh no poor Lotte freaking out and yelling “why am I the only one going through this!!!!” lol

·      Oh Akko could hear Lotte yelling

·      Aw the drive in Sucy movie being school themed

·      Based on Sucy’s memories

·      LMAO Diana just being so stuck up in Sucy’s mind

·      OH NO AKKO I KNOW SHE’S BEING INSULTED BUT SHE’S SO CUTE

·      Akko’s seeing the experiments done on her lol and AW EVEN THE LITTLE SHINY CHARIOT POSTER IS ANIMATED NEXT TO AKKO’S BED

·      Even Akko laughed at herself when she slipped on the banana peel that’s my girl

·      Oh wait

·      Oh no this is actually really sweet

·      One of Sucy’s favorite memories is meeting Akko? It went from the cute cartoon style to a really pretty drawing with nice music

·      There is absolutely some subtext here but it’s also just really nice to see that Sucy really does care about Akko no matter how she shows it

·      Ah so the Sucy who gave Akko flowers is actually evil

·      Also lol the license plate on the car they are driving around in is LWA008. It’s the eighth episode of Little Witch Academia

·      Akko can I just take a guess that the original Sucy might be towards the top of the giant mushroom?

·      Oh wait maybe it’s 666

·      That’s funny I really thought she’d be near the top

·      Oh this is definitely subtext. Akko fighting off a dragon like a knight while Sucy is a damsel in distress

·      LMAO THIS JUST WENT INTO MAINTEXT AKKO WAS LEGIT ABOUT TO KISS HER AND THE ANIMATION STYLE WENT BACK TO THAT REALLY PRETTY ONE FROM THEIR FIRST MEETING FOR A MOMENT

·      Aw Akko loves her

·      Even the dragon was touched

·      Wait so they made it seem like all a dream but then both Akko and Sucy remembered the pact they made in Sucy’s mind and that little mushroom showed up…did it reset everything?