#and suddenly i was part of a real community based on real connections and not the clout of who can be The Funniest

[shithowdy]

let's hear it for the OCs that force you to improve as a person due to the mindset it requires to roleplay them

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Secret Peace Summit Round-Up

A timeline. Because why not?

Article #1 - July 12, 2025 at 4pm EST - Daily Mail

The secret Harry peace summit: King Charles and Duke of Sussex's senior aides meet for talks near royal palace in first step towards reconciliation and strongest sign yet both sides want to resolve bitter family feud by Charlotte Griffiths

*Charles and Harry's aides met in the initial steps of a "rapprochement process" "towards reconciliation between Harry and his father."

Talks held at Royal Over-Seas League, a private members' club near Clarence House.

Spent 10 minutes outside on the patio before going outside.

Archewell aide also met with their British team while in London.

Link

I think the phrasing in this article (specifically "reconciliation between Harry and his father") and the perspective being more about Meredith Maines hints that the Sussexes were the leak.

Article #2 - July 12, 2025 at 10:18pm EST - The Sun

Royal Talks: King Charles' and Prince Harry's aides 'meet in secret peace summit as pair may resolve bitter feud' by Georgie English

recaps the DM story

Maines flew in specifically for this meeting.

"Harry was asked to step down from the royal family in 2020."

Harry "hasn't seen Charles in years with his last direct communication with brother William coming in 2022."

William and Harry didn't speak to each other at Uncle Spencer's funeral in 2024.

Archived Link

Portraying Megxit as being asked "to step down" is incredibly sympathetic and not at all what happened - I think this is another strong signal that the Sussexes sourced this story.

Article #3 - July 13, 2025 at 10:14am EST - Page Six

Prince Harry and King Charles's aides meet for 'secret peace summit' amid family feud by Tamantha Ryan

"A source told Page Six that Maines was in London to meet with the UK-based communications team, media, stakeholders and senior figures connected to the Harry’s patronages. The insider added that her visit was entirely routine and part of ongoing planning and engagement."

Archived Link

Page Six's source is definitely the Sussexes. How would the BRF know that they're also taking meetings with British press and other charities? Exactly. They don't.

Article #4 - July 13, 2025 at 12:20pm EST - Daily Mail

Harry is a selfish brat with a pushy wife - and he can't be trusted. I know exactly why he's suddenly so desperate to claw his way back into the royal fold - and what the King needs to do next by Sarah Vine

"What are [Harry's] real motives here? He hasn't exactly distinguished himself as a 'civilian'. Every single project he's undertaken has been predicated on his titles, and that's because the only real currency he has is as a member of the British Royal Family. It's a rich resource which he has ruthlessly mined; but without contact with the source, the well is beginning to run dry. Prince Harry needs to replenish his royalness - and making nice with [Father] is the quickest and easiest way of reminding the world of that profitable connection. The King needs to be aware of his. At the end of the day, Prince Harry has more to gain than his father does from a rapprochement."

"The King can't just allow Harry to waltz back in to the fold wihtout acknowledging how destructive and hurtful his behavior has been towards his brother and his brother's wife. He needs to make clear where his appreciation lies. Nor can Harry simply expect to just pick up where he left off. As well as letting his family down, his brattish and selfish behavior has let the people of Britain down. Many are deeply disappointed and saddened by his actions. He can't just swan back as though nothing had happened; he is going to have to earn back the love and respect he so blithely squandered."

"The test now is whether he is prepared to do all that - or whether this is just Harry up to his old tricks again."

Archived Link

Article #5 - July 13, 2025 at 5:40pm EST - The Telegraph

Sussexes' frustration over leaked 'peace summit' with King's aide by Victoria Ward

Team Sussex frustrated after details revealed, deny they're behind the leak.

BP declined to comment.

Harry sent email invitations to BP for Invictus 2027. BP aides have discussed Charles attending IG.

Archived Link

Victoria Ward is typically very Sussex friendly. Her info is probably from them.

Article #6 - July 13, 2025 at 10pm EST - The Sun

Clear the Heir: Huge Prince Harry Update as he arranges peace summit with King Charles 'within weeks' - but has no plans to meet William by Matt Wilkinson

The aides "spoke about potential ways to end their family conflict, through a proposal for Harry to make a royal return was not on the agenda."

"It is understood the face-to-face meeting was held to discuss avoiding media clashes and conflicts around calendar dates."

"A source claimed: 'The meeting was with Harry's blessing.' Buckingham Palace had also supported the proposals to 'open a channel of communication' - having agreed to them within the past two weeks, it has been claimed. There was no contact between Harry's team and one working for William and Kate - or any invitation for face-to-face meetings."

Link

Article #7 - July 13, 2025 at 10pm EST - The Sun

Is the Sussexes' 'hand of friendship' really an attempt to force a wedge between Charles and William? by Matt Wilkinson

"The Sussexes appear to be offering the hand of friendship — but are they trying to force a wedge between the King and future King? William is right to stick to his guns as he is in a better head space now, is no longer seething and has moved on — but is still waiting for Harry to apologise. While Harry love-bombs his dad — who has not locked the door or thrown away the key to reconciliation — let’s not forget it has been his older brother who has consistently made big gestures."

"The King and William should hopefully see through any attempt to divide them and they must stick together. Royal happy families cannot happen if Harry tries to cut off his father from his brother."

Link

Article #8 - July 14, 2025 - The Times, print edition

Aides of King and Harry hold talks by Kate Mansey

"It is understood that when Palace aides learnt that a picture of the meeting was due to be made public, they alerted the duke's office."

"Charles is understood to be wary of phone calls or meetings with his younger son following repeated publication of private discussions."

(Found a screenshot on SMM.)

Article #9 - July 14, 2025 at 12:05pm EST - Daily Mail

William and Kate would probably be glad to never see Harry and Meghan again. But this is why they must make peace with the Sussexes...and the disastrous consequences I foresee if they do not by A.N. Wilson

"Although the present 'peace talks' are seemingly being conducted between the King's haughtiest flunkies and Harry's sharp-elbowed American team, the real challenge is going to be effecting an entirely different reconciliation: between Harry and his brother."

"It would be miles better, then, that the Sussexes be brought in from the cold. Both sides should be seeking not only diplomatic and political help, but personal counsel."

"The institution that has served our country so well is only ever as strong as the person who wears the grown. This row between the brothers is festering, furious - and could prove fatal. When Charles vacates the stage, as one day he must, and William is anointed, a middle-aged brother in exile, on non-speakers with the sovereign but with a potential audience of billions, could do incalculable damage. It's no exaggeration to say that this row could one day begin the process that leads to a republic."

Link | Archived Link

Wow. Talk about fear-mongering.

Article #10 - July 14, 2025 at 2:21pm EST - The Daily Beast

Harry and Charles' Peace Talks Quickly Descend into a Fresh Round of Recriminations by Tom Sykes

Peace deal over after leaks.

Sussexes "forcefully denied" but "stopped short…of directly accusing" BP of the leak.

Cites Daily Mail speculation that Harry leaked it to "portray himself as the one who is trying to patch things up."

Meeting hosted by Charles's press secretary, Tobyn Andreae.

ROSL long favored spot for Charles's staff to conduct discreet meetings.

Archived Link

Tom Sykes is a favored Sussex source.

Article #11 - July 14, 2025 at 4:20pm EST - People Magazine

Prince Harry and King Charles' Aides took "good first step": "there's optimism," insider says (Exclusive) by Simon Perry

"And, PEOPLE understands, there was plenty to discuss. 'It was a good first step,' says an insider. 'It is always better to be talking.'"

"Some close to the palace have downplayed the long-term significance of the meeting, framing it as a routine professional exchange between senior communications staff who simply need to know and understand one another."

"'It's a positive step,' the insider adds. 'There's optimism that it can be taken forward.'"

Archived Link

People Magazine is more reliably a Sussex mouthpiece.

Article #12 - July 14, 2025 at 6pm EST - The Times

A secret meeting, a photo, next a reunion for King Charles and Harry? by Kate Mansey

"The Times has learnt that there was no instruction from Harry for [Meredith Maines] to contact the Prince of Wales’s office. Buckingham Palace, however, was contacted and agreed to a meeting. When the King’s spokesman arrived at the club, Harry’s aides were already waiting inside."

Harry is no longer demanding a public apology from the BRF as opening to reconciliation; he "realis[es] that this is not going to be granted."

"A well-placed observer described the meeting and its subsequent publicity as a 'desperate' attempt of the duke to get back into the royal fold. With no discernible job, other than that of a supporting role to his highly driven and successful wife, Harry may well be realising what he has given up. He has said that he was left “devastated” by the decision to leave his charity Sentebale, along with his co-founder and all the trustees, after a row with the chair. Yet he still clings to what he has always known."

"But it prompts the question: what does Harry want? He clearly wants to see his father, who is still receiving regular cancer treatment. Yet he also wants to be welcomed back with open arms and to come and go in the UK as he pleases so that he can stay in touch with his charities. When it comes to rebuilding a relationship with his family, his past behaviour makes that tricky. Whether he likes it or not, dropping his demand for an apology may not be enough. It may now require one from him."

Link

Article #13 - July 14, 2025 at 8:53pm EST - Daily Mail

King Charles and Prince Harry aides 'peace summit' part of 'charm offensive by the Sussexes to turn around their negative public image' by Rebecca English

Sussexes are trying to turn around their negative public image.

BP agreed to the meeting to meet new Sussex PR team

Palace staff "surprised" and "resign[ed]" to see the leak.

All sides decline to say whether KP was aware or involved. Relationship between father and son different from brothers.

Harry due back in the UK in September. Possible meeting with Charles.

Sussexes are frustrated about the leak. Denied leaking.

Archived Link

Article #14 - July 15, 2025 at 6am EST - Daily Mail

Harry lands in Angola to walk across field of landmines - just like Diana did in iconic photos by Charlotte Griffiths

"Sources on the ground say that as well as being wary of the dangers for [Meghan], the Duke of Sussex is keen to keep his work with Halo close to his chest. A source added: 'Halo is really his thing, it means so much to him to be patron and he just wants to keep his work with them to himself.'"

Harry to give a speech; British press banned

Archived Link

Hot dog, Harry actually said out loud that Meghan can keep her grubby little fingers off Halo and Angola. The Sussexes are definitely Charlotte Griffiths' source.

Article #15 - July 15, 2025 at 7am EST - Daily Mail

"It's no coincidence": Why Kate and William weren't at Sussex peace summit and how they reacted to talks by Richard Eden

William and Kate's friends claim they weren't aware of the meeting. They/KP were not asked to send anyone.

William is still upset by Sussex behavior and betrayal, particularly towards Kate

The Waleses require Harry and Meghan to apologize for them to consider opening contact.

Link

Article #16 - July 15, 2025 at 7am EST - Daily Mail

William and Kate were probably aware of Harry's 'peace summit' but won't be as keen as the King to reconcile differences, insiders reveal by Martin Robinson

"'Many things have been said that probably everyone regrets but if there is reconciliation, it's likely that William and Kate are going to be a tougher nut to crack than the King. I'd be surprised if William wasn't aware that [the peace summit] was going ahead...' The source added: 'The first step has to be building trust so I think there's frustration that this meeting was leaked.'"

"Phil Dampier told MailOnline: 'Both The King and Prince William always fear that they can't trust Harry and Meghan not to put any talks they have into the public arena and this will confirm their worst fears. To me, it looks as though Harry wants to portray himself as the one who is trying to patch things up. If talks fail, he can say he tried. But I don't think these tactics will work and the fact that this summit was leaked will put any reconciliation process back by months.'"

"Royal experts suggested the meeting was 'more of a courtesy call' than peace talks. Royal commentator Ingrid Seward said she believed it was simply a chance for Ms. Maines, who was appointed earlier this year, to meet her British counterpart, respected royal aide Mr. Andreae."

Link

Correct me if I'm wrong, y'all, but the communications director for a charity non-profit organization is not the counterpart of the communications director for the head of state. Jeez Louise, Ingrid Seward.

Article #17 - July 15, 2025 at 11:51am - Daily Mail

Charles may forgive Harry and Meghan but hell will freeze over before William or Kate do...and this is why by Amanda Platell

"Friends say that despite all the pain Harry has caused him, King Charles is a 'deeply loving and forgiving father', so a small step towards a rapprochement between father and son certainly seems plausible. The trouble is that, while Charles may forgive Harry, hell will freeze over before William does too. Or for that matter, Kate."

(lots of recapping of William's struggling with Charles' and Kate's cancer battles)

"If this summit between Charles's representative and Harry's team eventually succeeds, it may heal some of the wounds of father and son. But nothing will ever repair the bond with William and Kate - and, I believe, Camilla - after Harry's multiple betrayals of them. When the sad day comes and King Charles is no longer with us, the Sussexes and their children will be about as welcome as the Kardashians in the new court of King William."

Link

Article #18 - July 15, 2025 at 12:30pm EST - Daily Mirror

Real story behind Prince Harry and Charles peace talks from set-up signs to 'power move' by Saffron Otter

"Sources told the Mirror that navigating an end to the conflict was touched on, along with matters like not trying to steal the spotlight with schedule clashes."

A royal source told the Mirror: "The King has consistently shown he loves both his sons and as he has done in the past is prepared to meet Harry when their diaries allow such an occasion. It's not unusual for aides from different households to meet, especially when there is a new influx of staff starting their roles, but of course this is a significant moment. Senior members of the family have in the past said to Harry that he must both stop his attacks on the family as well as giving endless rounds of broadcast interviews as his only way of communication. If there is a period of calm and reflection on the part of the Duke of Sussex, then there may be a way forward for him to begin along the road of repairing his relationship with his father. As for his relationship with his brother, that is a different matter entirely and one which he will find much harder to repair."

Archived Link

This is definitely a BP/CH source. It's also one of the first confirmations that other members of the BRF are upset by Harry's attacks and interviews.

[geeky-politics-46]

Ask & you shall receive! Here is the promised sneak peek of my first John Walker story. This is the very beginning of the smutty stuff. Based on a reader request, the story will be titled Swipe Right. Hoping to get it finished published by Friday. Feel free to send in more requests!

Suddenly, your thoughts overpowered your body. Willing you stand and walk over to him. A questioning look in his eyes as you approached him. A confident sway in your hips. You were the predator now, and he was your prey. 

Moving to straddle him, you placed your hands on his broad shoulders and slowly lowered yourself down into his lap. His hands running up your thighs and settling on your hips. His nostrils were flaring, and his breath became labored as he realized what was about to happen. 

“You shouldn't.”

He said it barely louder than a whisper.

You brought one hand up to ghost through his short beard. Letting him nuzzle into your touch. His blue eyes fluttering shit and his mouth falling open.

“If you want me to stop, I will. Just say the word.” 

You leaned forward as you spoke just enough to ghost your lips over his forehead. Leaving the faintest kiss in their wake.  A single kiss, and he knew he was already a goner for you.

“I want it. I want you. So badly and since I met you. You just… you deserve so much better than me.” 

You let your fingers run through his blonde hair and pulled slightly but firmly. A soft groan fell from his lips as you pulled just hard enough to tilt his eyes up to yours. His lashes fluttering and his irises starting to cloud over. 

“Don't care. I want you anyway.” you answered confidently. Sensual smirk on your lips.

You felt his fingers grip tighter into the flesh of your hips and a breathy huff from his parted lips. With that, you didn't hold yourself back any longer and let your lips connect to his. 

The first kiss was soft and sweet. Almost reverent. John's hands stayed perfectly still, even though you could tell he was itching to pull you closer. Like he was afraid that if he let himself go, you would shatter or run from him.

You brought your lips to his neck just below his ear, whispering “you wanna take this to the bedroom soldier?”. Before stopping to suck and nibble at the skin there. You knew with his healing ability that you probably couldn't leave much of a real mark, but you were gonna have fun trying.

“Are you really sure you want this?” 

He was so unsure of himself now. It was one of the things he hated the most. That he second guessed everything he did now. Terrified of messing up yet again.

Instead of answering verbally, you let your hips start to roll against him. Grinding yourself into his lap. Letting the heat building in your groin answer him. Already enjoying the hardness of him you felt growing beneath you. 

You kissed him again. This time, with more passion. More fire. Trying to communicate how much you really did want him. Biting his bottom lip before pulling back and whispering against his lips, “it was you I was talking about the other night.” Punctuating your statement by licking at his lips before descending back in for more. 

A sudden fire lit within him as he crashed his lips back onto yours. Devouring you. His tongue quickly probing to find its way into your mouth. His hands shifted from your hips to grab at the meat of your ass. Grinding his hips into yours even harder. Letting you feel how hard he was for you before standing and carrying you into the small bedroom.

[imaginedreamwrite]

you know that Billie Eilish song Birds of a feather? That but with Gaz, as in you’re pen pals from different countries and you meet up and just click

or you met up a few times before and suddenly he invites you on base because you’re the girlfriend he keeps talking about but no one’s met you

I definitely listened to this song on repeat to try and get the mood right

Your friendship started as a pen-pal project in middle school, students would be matched to each other in similar classrooms in the UK and in the US. You were assigned a boy named Kyle Garrick who was just months older than you, and through writing letters introducing yourself you learned the basics.

He was in his second year of secondary school and had just turned 12. He had three older sisters and lived just outside London in a townhome with his parents. Kyle told you that he wanted to move to London when he was done secondary school.

The writing project itself was only supposed to last a year and was meant to be integrated into your social studies and language arts class. But there was something about your long distance friendship with Kyle that kept the letter writing going.

Eventually communication moved away from the letters, pen and paper being traded off for online messages and long distance texts—that your parents made you pay for. That friendship grew, it blossomed into something that felt deeper though neither of you would try and label it.

You told Kyle about your first heartbreak, the first and real ache that burrowed deep in your heart. And he told you that he could kick the guy’s ass if you wanted, even though you both knew he was only saying it. The sentiment was appreciated, nonetheless and soon enough simple texts became an exchange of pictures and videos of your lives.

You sent Christmas gifts to each other, snacks from each other’s countries when you had the money. You encouraged each other like you were always best friend’s despite not meeting in real life.

When Kyle told you about him joining the army you shared your concerns for your friend, your wish that he’d return home to his older sisters who liked to tease him and his parents that constantly worried. Kyle, likewise, told you to stay away from boys who would break your heart because you were too damn good for them—as if he was the only one who could treat you right.

You first met when you were both 23 when Kyle had the chance to go to New York with his sister’s for a pre-wedding trip. You had planned a few days to meet, and Kyle made sure to tell you that his sister’s wouldn’t stop teasing him about his "girlfriend".

The first time you met in person, something clicked between you and Kyle. Your connection was as instant as the first time you wrote to one another, the chemistry and the draw between you was irrevocable.

It felt like twin flames meeting after being kept apart for lifetimes, endlessly searching for the other only to finally be brought back to one another.

That first meeting stretched into a viable and long distance relationship, it was a struggle of course but you made it work. That connection you shared wouldn’t be easily broken by distance, you had done everything you could to keep yourselves in contact as much as possible.

When the company you worked for decided they needed a permanent office in the UK, you were the first to try and get a position. You applied for a work VISA through your company, you got a cheap enough flat and picked up your life. You landed in the UK, you settled and started building a life there.

And the distance between you and Kyle was less stressful on the relationship. The two of you had seriously began dating, finding yourselves revelling in the close proximity of each other. The relationship had developed from pen-pal friends, to online friends, to an actual relationship that Kyle defined first.

You told each other everything, he told you how he had been accepted as part of an SAS task force, that he would be gone for days, weeks or months at a time, but that he was happy. That he loved his job and he loved being a soldier.

And you confessed your secret, one you’d been harbouring for far too long: you loved Kyle Garrick.

[i-set-my-autism-on-fire]

Trying to focus on one fic but getting distracted by another fic idea.

Basically- Humans pack bond. It's one of our most basic instincts, we are pack animals. We need community and a social life in order to thrive. Even a few short hours in solitary confinement can traumatize a person.

So, imagine 300 years of that kind of isolation. Your only social connections are fleeting moments with fellow spirits, who are often focused on their own work, a giant glowing rock that never responds, and the moments you manage to fool yourself while hanging out near humans who cannot see you. Physically far enough to keep the illusion, but close enough to be part of the situation, rather than just a mere observer.

And one night, you're wandering around, painfully aware of your isolation, when suddenly you encounter one of your fellow spirits, and suddenly you're shoved in a sack and tossed through a magic portal. Suddenly, you're surrounded by a small group of spirits, as well as yetis and elves. The spirits offer you a spot in their little team, welcoming you with open arms, and while you deny it, your instincts have you beat. This offer was all it took, and without even realizing it, you're part of this group. Deny it all you want, but these social connections were sorely needed, and even if you find it difficult to accept this new reality, you don't exactly have a choice in the matter.

Two chaotic days later, you end up getting in trouble with these new friends. You didn't keep your word, and now they think you've betrayed them. You leave, isolating yourself from them, angry at yourself for having been so foolish. For following a voice you can't even remember the face of. But even now, you can't let go of this bond, this connection. A dark spirit appears behind you. You attack him, of course, he killed one of your friends the night before. But, the spirit stands his ground, and keeps trying to relate to you, to compare you to himself, to offer a connection.

Considering what you've lost recently, the offer is tempting, but you aren't in desperate need of it anymore. Deep down, you know the bond with the good spirits isn't broken. This time, your instincts don't overrule your word. You refuse the offer, and that's that.

Here is where my thoughts really begin to wander.

What if...

What if Pitch had gotten to Jack first?

Before his show on the globe to get the Guardians attention. What if he approached Jack, and made a similar offer? What if he welcomed Jack with open arms, the way the Guardians had? (or, "would have" in this case).

Based on what happened in the movie, I truly believe there is a real chance Jack could have pack bonded with Pitch instead, and that could very easily have been the difference between victory and defeat. Or, potentially, it could also offer a real chance for Pitch to be redeemed. His only connections are similar to Jack's; Fleeting moments with fellow spirits, humans who cannot see him, and a celestial body that never says a word.

If Pitch and Jack became friends before Jack was chosen to be a Guardian, what would've happened? Would Jack turn to the dark side, instinctively and desperately fighting to keep the only real connection he's had for centuries? Would Jack and Pitch grow to loathe each other due their opposing moralities? Would Jack be able to pull Pitch from the darkness, to reach for the lost man trapped inside a cage of fear and grief, and save him from the very darkness he rules? Perhaps any combination of these three scenarios, or maybe one of a countless number of other possibilities! Who can say what would've happened.

So many questions, so little answers, so much potential! I'm absolutely in love with this idea!

[ever-go-on]

thoughts on false-positive alter recording and alter fixation (or: i used to think a lot of symptoms were alters when they were not)

or: how the online DID community can exacerbate identity issues and further fragment a person's sense of self

warning: very long post. personal and subjective experiences ahead.

i'm going to start this by saying i have DID. i've been in treatment for three years and my trauma recovery journey is intrinsically linked to me acknowledging and integrating my other selves. part of this journey has been recording and identifying my selves when they emerge. this is easier said than done.

even earlier than professional treatment, i've been in online system spaces for five years. i discovered my parts about a year after a stress and trauma based breakdown in 2018. i didn't have access to therapy at the time, so i went online to get answers and for models of how i 'should' be approaching my revelation.

the first advice any questioning system gets is 'try to communicate with your alters'. i was advised to journal and talk to myself. i went and did that on my own, and made decent small progress seeing my different mes express their opposing views. alongside some unfortunate triggers that brought parts to the surface, i began to identify an angry part, a child part, a calm and reasonable part, amongst others. i became aware of how my identity was fragmented between my different self-states, which i could seem to switch between at the drop of a hat. my partner at the time helped me, by telling me about switches they witnessed, and noticing and talking to my child part when they emerged during a flashback.

after a while i really wanted to start understanding what was going on, so i started joining discords and communities. it was here i got a faceful of what alters 'should' look like. every alter had a name and age. every alter had a sexual orientation and internal appearance. every alter was distinct.

the way alters were identified was also different. it wasn't "someone shouted at me and i acted like a completely different person", or "i was told i had a flashback, but i don't feel connected to the memory". it was mostly about identity.

the signs you were (or had) a new alter included:

identifying as a fictional character

suddenly rejecting your 'real'/host life and identity

suddenly deciding on / showing signs of a wildly new identity

in my experience, this altered identity-first approach to identifying alters is misleading. it's led me to some embarrassing inflated alter counts. i want to talk about it in this post.

a core of DID and a large part of its sister disorders is dissociation, and dissociation is confusing, unclear, and sudden spikes are often temporary and brought on by stress.

unfortunately, in the very alter-centric DID communities online, it is easy to develop a bias towards (new) alters being the only explanation for dissociative experiences. this way one-off moments of identity confusion and choosing a new appearance for the evening can become written into your alter lists for a very long time. you might assume the experience was an alter fronting, and because they were an alter, they will come back some day, prolonging the impact of the episode on your sense of self.

when this bias (towards thinking every confusing dissociative experience is an alter) is paired with the rhetoric that alters are whole, defined "different people", with no room for overlap, inconsistency, or blurred lines, it can lead to very messy issues in self-perception.

over the past five years, i have:

clung to a fictional character i admired or saw my experiences in and announced them as my whole self. dozens of times. these periods can last hours to days.

spoken to loved ones without feeling much connection at all, bordering on feeling like i was talking to a total stranger.

hated myself so much i rejected every identity i had, and decided the only way i could go on is if i lived as a totally different person.

these experiences aren't exclusive to DID. they're the experiences of someone with a poor sense of self and a tendency to dissociate. i've met many people with personality disorders and/or long term trauma that i've connected with over sharing these symptoms.

however, it is easy to see how any of my experiences could be construed as a sign of an alter. doing so, though, leaves you with:

a further fragmented sense of identity by assuming you had 'split' a new alter state that you didn't.

normalising not connecting to your loved ones, because they are 'not your' loved ones, just the host's.

seeing parts that hate your life and identity as abusive or aggressive intruders, rather than understanding the root cause within you (internalised self hatred).

i've fallen into all of these traps before, and i don't think there's any shame in misunderstanding your experiences. i've recently done a sweep of every alter i've ever logged over the past five years, trying to honestly evaluate whether or not each one was a real alter, or just a one-off name and identity confusion i assumed was a part, but was not.

identity issues and fragmentation are very distressing symptoms. some of the worst times of my life were when i had no cohesion between my selves: i didn't 'know' myself, and it felt like my head was full of strangers. it was hard to love myself when i didn't know who 'i' was, in multiple or singular state.

i have been much happier in recent years, having gone into therapy, a vast amount of integration happening, and getting a generalised better self-awareness, making it easier to identify my different selves, and feeling more confident telling when i am only experiencing identity confusion, knowing that it will pass.

nowadays, my alters don't look like they did when i was trying to fit into the DID community template. my alters don't have unique sexual orientations, and not all of them have internal appearances when i visualise them. at their core, they are parts of me who hold conflicting reactions to trauma, and all want different things to get their peace.

i am confident that every alter i engage with nowadays is 'real', because i have known them all for many years, and i understand how they think and function. there is nobody on my documentation that might just be a one-off moment of identity confusion, because i know how to identify my episodes, and know not to write them down as alters.

but, most importantly, i'm confident the alters i know today are real because i've removed myself from spaces that changed how i saw myself. i am confident in myself now, but i was not so lucky earlier in my recovery, and i find it a bit embarrasing.

i tend to avoid DID communities online nowadays, because of my bad experiences with the common rhetoric and the templates systems are expected to fit into. i don't fit into their boxes, and their approach doesn't speak to me. and that's ok. i'll stick to me, my loved ones, and my therapist.

sorry for the super long blog post, i had thoughts to get out. feel free to strike up a conversation if you connect and want to talk. this was a hard topic to broach for my wounded pride😅. i'd be interested if anyone else shares my experience. thanks for reading.

[figs-and-cigs]

When you’re poly but kinda hate poly people.... Again.

I've posted that sentiment a couple times before lol, sorry.

It’s wild how many folks in polyam spaces preach “radical communication,” “non-hierarchical love,” and “don’t keep score”… right up until someone’s disabled, burned out, low on spoons, or just not able to meet every emotional or practical need. Then suddenly it’s: "They’re using you." "They’re not pulling their weight." "Know your worth! Drop them like hot garbage!"

I’ve seen so many people reduce relationships down to need-fulfillment machines — a place to get your emotional support, chores done, social calendar filled, finances balanced. Like, sorry — if your idea of love is just someone reliably dispensing help and validation on demand, that’s not a relationship. That’s a vending machine with feelings.

You don’t have to “earn your keep” in a relationship. Not with money. Not with labor. Not by being endlessly available. That’s not love — that’s a performance.

Real partnership — poly or not — is about choosing each other, over and over, as people, not as service providers (I'm disabled. Sometimes I do ask for a lot of support/help.) Partnership is about flexibility, care, and adapting when things get hard. And yeah, sometimes one person does more — emotionally, physically, practically. That’s part of long-term love.

Also, Communicate! Talk about all of it!

If something feels off, talk about it. Don’t stew. Don’t silently keep score and then explode. Talk. Renegotiate. Choose each other — or don’t — but don’t act like someone failed for not mind-reading. When someone says they can't do XYZ, or they're trying but aren't up to par - believe them. Don't push, whine, cry. You either love and accept your partner or you don't. If the relationship isn't working that's fine! But not every relationship break up has to have a villain. Sorry they're not a "narcissistic bum" for not meeting your standards - especially if you never communicated them - and especially if they're just not able to.

I had a relationship with a girlfriend end after she kept pushing past my boundaries and asking me to show up in ways I simply didn’t have the spoons or time for. I tried, and then when I couldn’t meet her "needs" to her standard, she hit me with the, “Well, what do YOU even bring to the table?” (P.S. quit veiling your preferences and expectations as fucking needs.)

What do I bring to the table? Me. My care, my presence, my honesty, my effort — when I have it to give. And if that’s not enough? I’m not begging for a seat at a table where I’m already not being seen.

That experience only made me value my hierarchical relationship more. Not because it’s “traditional,” but because there’s clarity. We’ve made intentional choices about our structure, and there’s acceptance of what each of us can offer — especially when life shifts.

And it shifts ALL. THE. TIME. My pseudo housewife skills took a dive the last month with the rainy season. My chronic pain got worse. My partner took over the cleaning - and actually deep cleaned. When he's exhausted, or wants to schedule extra dates - sometimes I take over more parental duties. Sometimes things are split 70/30. Sometimes our 100% is actually 50%. But both of us keep choosing each other - and not resent the other for being HUMAN.

Meanwhile, so many “anti-hierarchy” people say structure is oppressive, but still expect you to act like a full-time partner — and then guilt you if you can’t or won't.

I’m poly because I believe in autonomy, emotional connection, and love that adjusts to reality — not just theory.

But if polyam means getting treated like a disappointment the second I can’t perform at full capacity? No thanks. Lately, I've become more and more disillusioned with most of the community - and I'm really sad and irritated about it.

Tldr:

Flexible unconditional love, not performance-based partnerships.

Structure with consent > structure by assumption.

And I bring me to the table. That’s enough.

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

Hot take but I think what we saw in chapter 13 was necessary.

I don't think a lot of people realize how important it is for Araki to portray what he did, even if it extremely difficult to take in. Let me explain.

Araki has discussed about topics like racial and class disparity through both Steel Ball Run and Jojolion, but JOJOLands is different because the discussions are now very direct. We had Chapter 1 open up with police brutality and Chapter 13 open with intense bullying; both acts were committed by people of higher social standing/power and seemingly White (or white passing) and both are harming a dark-skinned queer individual. Not only that, remember that Hawai'i is an island stolen and colonized by the US and many indigenous individuals who were supposed to live and maintain kapu are being forced to endure housing problems, loss of culture, etc. due to gentrification and exploitation of its lands. 2020 was when we saw global protest towards the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor due to police brutality, which has spread as far as Japan in terms of demonstrations and rallies. Araki has made it clear that he tries to take real world experience into his writing, and this is no different. He is also no stranger to portraying law enforcement throughout his parts without glorifying or downplaying their behavior.

As a mutual of mine (who themselves identify as a black GNC individual based in US) has put it, those who identify or even appear as Black while identifying as trans-femme or women are subjected to some of the worse kinds of oppression possible in America. Queer women of Color are one of the most susceptible to sexual violence-- especially when they are young, and the darkness of their skin really plays into it. This is transmisogynoir; it is a hard pill to swallow and acknowledge, even if it feels excessive, and its a multilayer of oppression that connects a person's racial identity, gender, and sexuality as targets of discrimination. It's the fact that one is POC, a woman, AND queer that makes one a target--- not just one or the other. You can’t turn a blind eye to this because it happen constantly throughout America's history and American society even today, but you can't simply water it down or downplay it. In fact, many victims of transmisogynoir have no choice but to downplay their experiences because of their Black identities or because they appear too dark to be taken seriously; when they, especially if they are Black, try to hold people in power accountable, these individuals are suddenly labeled aggressive, indignant, etc. and they are further discriminated for attempting to speak up. Dragona downplaying the bullying isn't them just trying to avoid further conflict but a reflection of how many who were in similar situations like Dragona are forced to simply forgive and forget the trauma they have to endure. To downplay it ourselves is reinforcing the narrative that individuals like Dragona in real life should remain silent and endure their harassment rather than rightfully protect themselves and others from it.

Another thing to add is that the way Japan portrays and treats the LGBTQ community, particularly the trans community. In Japan, the process to legally change your gender is complicated and requires a lot of steps that include, but not limited to, being diagnosed with gender identity disorder, proving you have no kids/guardianships, and sterilization. This causes a lot of individuals to be forced to quickly transition as a means of getting their gender recognized, which takes away the time to let them explore at their own pace, and this is due to how the process can lead to hindering career and life opportunities that wouldn't be hindered had they already transitioned or stayed closeted. Many Japanese trans individuals unable to go through the process quickly either remain closeted or move away from Japan to transition at their own pace. So, as a result, the trans community and its struggles is not as noticed compared to outside of Japan. Another thing to add is that the trans community in Japanese media is often portrayed as comedic relief or a gag. Oftentimes, the trans character or character who diverts from gender conformity (i.e cross-dressing, acting more flamboyant) is the butt of the jokes. Some thing to note is that, when Dragona was first introduced, a lot of people thought that Araki put Dragona in simply for comedic purposes. I had people joke about how Dragona is just there because they believed Araki is trolling. Not only that, the racial issues that Japan has often results in jokes towards non-Japanese individuals in media, especially if they are of darker skin color.

So, Araki putting Dragona in these difficult situations is also meant to subvert expectations that his Japanese, and possibly Western, audience may be expecting. The expectation was to laugh and toss Dragona aside as a single-dimensional character, but Araki instead forced us to face the trauma through Dragona's experience head-on. We are made aware of Dragona's situation, how real and difficult the struggle is, and we end up emphasizing with it rather than laughing at it. Through this, we get a glimpse into real life experiences of trans POCs without it being downplayed and have it show how Dragona is a fleshed-out character with importance to the series. As some have put it, this chapter proved that Dragona isn't just a side character but arguably a complex individual on the same level of importance as Jodio. I don't think it would have been easy to have the same impact if another approach was taken.

While talking to others who identify as trans and/or GNC about their thoughts on the chapter, I was told by many of them that, while Dragona's experience hits close to home and was hard to digest, they appreciate seeing it being expressed and hope it will help other people understand their struggles. One noted how the introduction of Smooth Operators with the backstory as empowering, seeing the Stand as a symbol of surviving the trauma that comes with trans discrimination. I do find this a bit telling with how many people online who are against Araki's portrayal barely mention what trans/GNC people have said about it.

My main concern, as well as what I see people have rightfully critiqued, is the excessive trauma reinforcing the fetishization and violent voyeurism towards trans individuals; it also reinforces the problematic narrative that dysmorphia can only happen as a result of trauma and the trans experience can only be full of pain. There's also the issue that Dragona's experience also happened while they were under age and their harassment is similar to that of Lucy. It's a common trope in Western media to put marginalized people into these situations while upping the ante simply for clicks and pleasure, and even worse when the character portrayed is a minor. As I reiterate, it is a very uncomfortable chapter to read and I don't find it enjoyable at the slightest. Just because I understand why it is necessary doesn't mean I condone the approach done. I also understand Araki as a Japanese man can only relate and portray a queer American's experience to an extent. But, at the same time, the exposure was necessary because it gives us the awareness and a voice to trans people that is lacking within media even today. We need to be aware and acknowledge what our BIPOC trans community goes through as a means of being better humans--- and especially our younger community members. We need to make our society safer for them so they can thrive and have the respect they deserve. Oftentimes, that starts with how they are portrayed and how their experiences are portrayed. While it is still a journey and not every representation will be perfect, we can't simply toss it aside and bash those who try to show something realistic just because it is uncomfortable.

I only hope that Araki wrote Dragona and these scenes as a result of doing extensive research and reaching out to actual POC queer individuals, particularly transfemmes/women, to understand their experiences and have their blessings to use their words to shape Dragona. I feel like that would show that Araki was serious about discussing these issues through his characters rather than simply using Dragona's traumatic experience it for entertainment. I have higher expectations for Araki now, knowing that it may not be the last time he shows a character experience harassment and possibly have Dragona be harassed again, so I will keep my eyes open for this.

[dangraccoon]

Experimentations in Amorous Connection - Chapter 1

Tech/Phee Genoa

|| Fluff || Flirty || No Plan 99 ||

Word count: 856

Content: Neurodivergent/Autistic Tech (social cues? never heard of her), accidental flirting, Tech and Crosshair are twins

Mando'a Guide kaminii - Kaminoan

Tech hadn’t recently transferred the data from the recorder on his goggles. That wasn’t like him, but he’d been distracted as of late. And now, because he hadn’t paid attention to the storage capacity, he couldn’t record the small fits of quiet laughter bubbling out of his companion.

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years, Tech found Pabu to be something of a base. Yes, he and his squad would occasionally go on missions to aid the rebellion, but more and more they melded into the community here, who accepted them–and more than a few of their brothers–with open arms.

Now, as he walked along the shoreline with Phee, their conversation flowing easier than it had with anyone–even his siblings–before, he found that he felt settled in a way that he’d only ever felt in their barracks on Kamino or on the Marauder.

“You know,” she said, still smiling. “Most people just call them ‘starfish’.”

Tech blinked at her. “Why?” he asked–bluntly, he supposed. She’d told him he was often blunt. “Asterias rubens do not share visible features with stars.”

“You don’t think the shape looks similar if you squint?” Phee smirked. 

Tech blinked at her. “Stars are luminous spheres of gas–”

“Believe it or not, I do know what stars are, Brown Eyes,” she chuckled. “And as much as I enjoy listening to you explain these things to me, I meant it literally.”

She stopped walking, reaching toward him and pulling the goggles from his face. 

“What are you–”

“Just look,” she said, gesturing out to the night sky above them. “See how the lights of ‘em shine out in points? Kinda like our washed-up pal back there, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I-I believe I understand now,” he said. 

She smiled, handing him his goggles, but kept her gaze towards the sky. 

“Aren’t they just beautiful?” she whispered. 

Tech looked in the same direction. They could see hundreds of thousands of tiny specks of light, and there were millions more they couldn't see without the aid of specialized equipment.

“During our time training on Kamino, we were assigned our roles at a very young age,” he said suddenly, almost startling them both. “I was to be our pilot, though, with my enhanced capacity for knowledge and skill, I was tasked with a heavier workload.” 

Phee didn’t say anything at first, her eyes still taking in the view. She nodded for him to continue. 

“We each spent thousands of hours in individualized training and simulations,” he said, scowling slightly. He had always excelled at every task and test the kaminii threw at him. Regardless, he remembered it mostly as an exceedingly lonely time. “I spent a vast amount of my training in flight simulators. I’ve seen thousands of starry skies, both real and simulated.”

When her eyes finally tore away from the sky, she startled almost imperceptibly to see that Tech had stepped closer to her. 

“That is to say, I have… lost the ability to see beauty in the stars,” he said, begoggled eyes locked onto her. “I have never been particularly adept at seeing the beauty in much of anything; that’s not what we were trained to do. However, the more time I spend in your company, I find that you are a capable tutor in all things beautiful.”

Phee’s curious expression shifted and Tech found himself enraptured by every minute change.

Even in the low light of the evening, he could see her cheeks darken a little. Her lips had parted slightly, then pressed together as they drew into a soft smile. She ducked her face away. 

“Come on, Brown Eyes,” she said, her voice hushed. “We’d better get you home before that family of yours sends out a search party.”

They walked to the Batch’s small bungalow together, enjoying the soft sound of the waves hitting the rocky shore. 

As they approached the door, Phee stopped and turned toward him.

She smiled at him, tapped his shoulder lightly, and bid him a good night, starting the short journey to her own home before anything more than “good night” could pass his own lips. 

He watched her go–the way her hips swayed as she walked muddying his focus slightly–with a growing feeling that something was different now. 

His puzzled expression must have been obvious on his face as Crosshair pointed it out as soon as he entered the kitchen. 

“What’s with you?” the sniper drawled from one of the stools at their countertop. 

Tech explained the evening’s events as he got a glass of water. 

“She simply said ‘good night’ and went home,” he concluded. “I had the impression that perhaps I… misstepped somehow.

Crosshair blinked at him, set his spoon down in his half-empty bowl of ice cream, then stood and left the room. 

Tech scowled momentarily but then saw why he’d left as he reappeared, a confused Echo in tow. 

“Tell him,” Crosshair said simply.

“Tell me what?” Echo scowled at Crosshair. 

“Why?” Tech scowled.

“Because he’ll tell you the same thing I would,” Crosshair shrugged. “But he’ll be nicer about it.”

Chapter 2 ⇢

Thanks for reading! - River

DangRaccoon Master List Tag List Form Read on AO3

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[chefkids]

In your opinion, how could they have made Claire a better love interest? I’m a huge romantic, and even though I was suspicious of something between Syd and Carmy, I wasn’t really convinced until I saw the clear contrast with him and Claire. So as a pure hypothetical, how could Claire be made into a better love interest?

I mean I think there are two sides to this question: One is how could they have made Claire a better love interest who will actually end up with Carmy? The other is how could they have made Claire a better love interest who won't end up with Carmy but who most people would still enjoy watching as a character?

Dropping Claire out of the blue in Season 2 without even a mention of her before is just a very clear indication that she was never meant to stick around. If they wanted Claire to be someone serious for Carmy, either for endgame or at least believable for a season or two, they should have introduced her in the first season. The fact that she knew he was back in town for months, she was communicating with the Fak's and with Tiff, yet she never even approached him or tried to reconnect after his brother died or even just to pop by The Beef to say hi, just frames her as someone who was only interested in Carmy as a love interest for herself too. She saw him at the grocery store, thought he looked cute and had a glow up from high school, knew he was some big shot famous Chef and suddenly decided she wanted him in her life again.

There was no indication that Carmy was someone who she truly cared a lot about even if he didn't want to date her. Adding her in Season 2 felt like an afterthought and it made her seem like she was not actually as close and emotionally invested in him as she and everyone around her tried to make her seem. What makes Sydney more appealing as a love interest than Claire is that we actually see her care for him and his family and everything he's gone through even when she had no connection to him and when she had no real intent of pursuing a romantic relationship with him. Sydney cared about Carmy beyond just him being a potential boyfriend for her. If Claire had been shown to have an interest in Carmy outside of romance and we saw her be a part of his life, people could still have liked her even if they were meant to break up.

I'm sure in Season 3 we'll learn more about what happened after Fishes and what Claire saw and how/why they left things off when he went to New York and didn't talk for years. Claire and Carmy would have likely been in New York at the same, and yet again she didn't seem to make any effort to connect with him while he was there, and neither did he. Sydney found Carmy in New York and formed a connection, albeit one sided, by discovering his food and made an effort to pursue him, even just platonically. If they wanted to make Claire an actual serious love interest and the true long term love of his life since childhood, they needed to show that Carmy and/or Claire actually tried to reach out to each other during their time apart and actually missed each other.

They needed to build upon that invisible string that Syd and Carmy have. Carmy and Claire knew each other because they happened to be at the same place at the same time, they happened to have grown up together, they happened to have run into each other at a grocery store. Which is fine for the start of a relationship, just how Syd happened to try Carmy's food. But there was no push from either Carmy or Claire to have a connection other than the fact that they both happened to exist around each other. They have seemingly no similar interests beyond being raised in the same town. There was nothing to base their connection on in the show other than she is pretty and nice and he had crush on her. Adult relationships need more than physical attraction and kindness, there was no spark between them. There was nothing to indicate that Claire understood Carmy better than anyone else and vice versa.

Claire took it upon herself to try and push Carmy out of his shyness and took him to a party. She knew he didn't drink, she knew he grew up around alcoholics, she heard him say he wanted to leave as soon as they got there. Not everything about everyone needs to be fixed, and it's okay for Carmy to not be the type of person who enjoys parties or being around heavy drinking, even if he didn't have childhood trauma. Claire tried to change his interest, but Sydney never tries to change Carmy's actual personality traits, she just tells him when he needs to adjust his behavior when he's acting out. Claire used to be nerdy and not as pretty in school, then she changed and found herself to be a social party girl which she likes. She wanted to do the same to Carmy. What makes the audience like Carmy is the fact that he's not perfect, he's kinda awkward and weird at times, and that's okay. Having Claire try to fundamentally change the main characters personality and force interests onto him that he never previously cared about and even actively disliked just placed her in a bad light.

Carmy in his own way was trying to change her too, just less externally like her and more just in his head. He created an idea of what she would like based on what Sydney liked. Carmy would have actually had to put in an effort to know what Claire liked for us to know her and feel like she was a real character and person and not just a blank slate for Carmy to do whatever he wanted with.

There was also zero conflict between him and Claire for the most part. She was always available, never stressed, seemingly had no real problems aside from needing to move boxes for her mom and comfort crying Kelly. And it's not that she needs to be some traumatized or miserable person to be likable or to empathize with her, but even golden retriever nice guy Pete faces conflict in the show. The fact that Pete is not universally beloved and accepted as perfect and that he has conflict with other characters and even little bickerings with Nat like when he let Carmy use their freezer, just makes him a dimensional well rounded character even when he is a seemingly very normal level headed guy like Claire.

The fundamental problem with Claire is that she is tied to Carmy's past, and he does not like his past. He might have liked her in high school or had fond memories of her, but it is very clear he did not like himself in the past and everything he does with her reminds him of it. Claire would have to be written to have something new and different that makes Carmy want to connect with her and want to actually know her for her, if the show wanted any chance of Carmy breaking the connection he has of her with his past and making her a serious and believable relationship for him. There is nothing about who she is present day that has shown that Carmy really cares about her personality, and even she does not seem that invested into Carmy's personality without trying to change it to fit her own lifestyle.

If Claire had a discernible personality, a connection we actually saw with him beyond the romance, conflict with Carmy and other characters, she would have had an actual chance of being more appealing to viewers as a stand alone character, regardless of if they ended up together permanently or not.

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Theory on *that* character based on 2.2 story spoilers.

Major spoilers for CN servers, 1.9 and beyond: I think I have enough pieces and delulu to create this theory.

May Vertin Nui block this spoilers

Idk to call this theory: uh Urd theory I guess?

Summary: If it is confirmed that people do not die physically in the Storm, Mr Duncan confirms that like places people are flung into different time periods and eras, then what if this is happening to Urd? Whatever she did has led to partial memory erasure of sorts that becoming a biographer has become a method to ensure part of her memory is retained.

(I would call this theory Generation Loss based ok the what happens to tapes maybe?)

This theory hopes to explain why multiple names are tied to the same pale blued haired blind woman who seems to appear everywhere in the game. More specifically explain the existence of Martha.

Heres a list of the different identities and their appearances:

Urd/ A friend from Afar/ Dolores: 100% confirmed to be the same individual, appeared in Brazil Sao Paulo, mentioned in both Rayashki and London (Rimet Cup). The Friend from Afar also makes frequent appearances in ingame email. Noted to be a doctor.

Besmert: appears in the 1.6 Notes on Shori, travelled for a while with Yensei to Pei City, had enough influence to recomend Yensei to join Team Timekeeper.

Martha: appears in 1.4,1.7 and 1.9 on the island of Aperion. She is hinted to be a recent member of the island and seemingly disappears in the 1914 Storm. Also acts as a doctor.

It is easy to connect Urd to Bessmert but harder to connect Martha to these identities since we explictly see her disappear into the Storm in 1.9. Yet suddenly shes back in 2.2 in Sao Paulo as a doctor (Maybe White Rum may have more info on Urd but until someone uploads her voicelines I cannot say).

My current running theory is that all of these are the same person, from Igor likely her true name (or in arcanist fashion this is the one she commonly goes by) is Urd and that she is Vertin's mother since mannerisms and appearances are so close to be just a coincidence.

But the real problem is her memory, Igor knows her, know she has done something that she changed her in some way and now in the eyes of Igor and the Manus has become someone that can change the fate of the world. She must have held a significant position in the Foundation to receive the marble chair as we know even individuals like Lucy as the head of Laplace and even Constantine do not directly speak to the White Marble House instead communicate through the doves sent to them.

The only info we have on Vertin's mother is the hostpital bed and the fact that the Foundation denies her existence.

Heres the theory:

What if when the Foundation says she doesn't exist this is quite literal as in they don't know she exists at all? But Igor knows? Lets remember Joe in 2.0 and the seemingly two Paulinas, the Storm erasure has a weird effect on how a person might be remembered, going back to my Mandela theory maybe Urd's existence from whatever happened to the white chair caused a swipe of her existence especially since she may as well been the epicentre of the first Storm. Characters like Greta Hoffman do note the foggy recollection of the Storm by those present and not taken by the Storm itself.

But what does that mean for Urd? I speculate Urd likely was a war or field medic if she was working closely with Zeno, evident in 2.2 she is caring for war veterans in Sao Paulo. If Urd is anything like Vertin, which in small ways alr we can say she is, whatever she did using the chair literally involved huges risks she believed necessary to end whatever conflict or goal she and Igor pursued, regardless of what happened to her.

Small hints suggest that: Urd pressed the button on the chair, nothing or something happened and afterwards she walked into the white house and that was the last Igor saw of her. What if this "white house" contained the hospital bed she and her mother were separated by? What if this all happened somewhere within the White Marble House that seemingly is well guarded and very high access is needed to enter?

What about Bessmert and Martha? If the Storm js capable of throwing people into different eras and completely overriding their current existence to change slightly like Mr Duncan, what if this is what happens to Urd? But she might be immune like Vertin? I predict that whatever happened with the white house has cause something to damage or alter her memory that recording everything is crucial?

What if Urd knew that her memory would be affected so greatly that becoming a biographer and writer for UTTU was a means to retain her identity and experiences. Maybe whether current her knows or not, as the Friend From Afar is her directly talking to Vertin. Maybe not fully aware of who exactly she is writing to but nevertheless compelled to write to Vertin?

Another theory or maybe this is adding on but Urd is directly responsible for the creation of the Storm, potentially as a means to resolve whatever conflict she and Zeno found themselves fighting and losing by 1999, a solution that would backfire so greatly now for 8 years the world constantly is faced with time going haywire? And if thats the case then Igor and Manus seeking and kidnapping her would make sense, they see her as the creator of the Storm (whether she remembers or not) and potentially want her tl create them at will.

(Throwing alots of ideas here)

[freckled-words]

TaserTricks Misadventures

Just to get some rust off the wheels, I wrote a little intro to act as the base for where *most* of the stories will be connected to. Some will be stand-alone but still part of the whole, ya know?

If you prefer to read on AO3, here's a handy link for you CLICK ME

Let me know if you catch any spelling mistakes.

Darcy Lewis sometimes had to play “Connect The Dots” with the events in her life in order to make sense of just how she found herself in her current position.

The position of ‘Unofficial Avengers CareTaker’ that is.

Which just so happened to include Loki, God of Mischief, King of Assholes, and a condemned prisoner currently working off his crimes through community service.

Originally Darcy had come to the tower with her pre-established job parameters of keeping Jane healthy and functional, while also helping her with the data entry and machine lugging. Jane’s lab was neighbor’s with Tony and Bruce, and thanks to a connecting doorway, it was easy enough to include the Science Bros in the daily feedings and watering. (Bruce was pretty good at managing himself, but he never turned down Darcy’s cinnamon raisin cookies when she slipped them within reach.)

One trip to scary Ol’ England to fight space Elves later, and Erik came back to the Tower with them. Like Bruce he was pretty low maintenance, he just needed a gentle reminder to put his pants back on two to three times a day.

The real shift in her ‘caretaking’ parameters came when Natasha and Clint started coming by more often.

One night Darcy had been up late in the common room, the TV was on with the volume down low, an overly fuzzy blanket was wrapped around her body, and was doing her damndest to melt the nightmares out of her skull with the vibrancy of the cartoon dancing across the screen.

She swore she’d simply blinked (a super slow blink that lasted around a minute) and suddenly found Clint sitting on the couch next to her, the edge of her blanket draped across his lap and his head tipped back into the cushions with his eyes closed. As far as Darcy could tell, the infamous sniper was fast asleep.

Too tired to have much reaction (or give it much thought) Darcy shifted her blanket so it was covering both of them. She wouldn’t know if it was the presence of someone she knew to be super lethal, or just the sense of having another body around in general, but she managed to drop off into a heavy sleep pretty quick.

She got to know Clint a lot better over breakfast the next morning, and it became a friendly routine for them to crash on the couch on nights when one or the other was feeling rough. (There’d been a couple nights where Tony would stumble up from the lab and crash on whichever space was large enough, and on even rarer occasions, Steve would collapse into the recliner and do his best to sneak away before everyone else woke up the next morning.)

Natasha didn’t need caring for, so much as she opted to spend some of her free time with Darcy. 

Sometimes Darcy was suddenly dragged out of the lab for self defense training (she never made it back to the labs on those days.) But more often Natasha would pop up wherever Darcy was, and inquire into everyone’s wellbeing. It took Darcy a bit of time to put two and two together, and realize that Natasha would have these pop-up chats when she got back from her missions. (Darcy does her best not to think too deeply on this, as it puts a certain degree of weight on Darcy’s casual care-taking.)

At first Steve wasn’t really taken into consideration, as he had his own place to go home too, and when he wasn’t there or the tower, he was out looking for Bucky. (The shitshow of SHIELDRA had been a nightmare and a half that left both Darcy and Jane a little twitchy for a solid two months after.)

So of course that changed when he came home one morning, bruised, battered and bleeding, with Bucky in tow.

Darcy had been in the kitchen getting her first cup of coffee when the two soldiers stumbled in. Steve gave her a nod and a, “Morning Ms. Lewis” then promptly dropped Bucky and himself into a couple of chairs.

Still dressed in her Hulk pj pants, and Black Widow tank top, Darcy muttered a quiet “Fuckin’ Mondays.” And got to work making a mountain of pancakes, bacon, and eggs for the two to devour while their wounds healed. (There were a couple feeble attempts to help, and she’d just slapped them both away with her spatula.)

Given that Tower was a reinforced fortress in the sky, it only made sense for Bucky to hide out there, and Steve couldn’t even fathom leaving Bucky there on his own, so after some strategic room shuffling, Bucky moved into a room that was situated between Bruce and Steve.

Taking care of Steve was easy, and a lot of fun for Darcy. She helped him to work through his ever growing list of things to learn and catch up on, while also getting him to give her art lessons. (They did Bob Ross paintings every once in a while, and it was always hilarious, since Steve would try and make adjustments to outdo Bob.)

Bucky on the other hand was a bit more complicated. He had enough of his memories back to know who he was, and who Steve was, but he still had some brainwashing to work through. Like Bruce, he needed a calm, no sudden surprises environment. He’d stick to Steve most of the time, and other times he’d stay in his room. When Darcy started to notice how little he would eat, and how much weight he was losing, Darcy took matters into her own hands with a gamble.

Steve was in the living room working on a field report from their last mission, and Bucky had tagged along to sit on the couch and fiddle with his phone. It was just about time for lunch, and Darcy figured sandwiches would be fine, “Yo Barnes, mind giving me a hand with this? You slice and spread, I’ll assemble?”

For a brief second Darcy thought Bucky was going to refuse, as she’d called out to him so suddenly, his shoulders had gone back and his hands had frozen mid-fidget. Steve looked up from his papers and raised a brow at Darcy, trying to figure out what she was angling for. Bucky took in slow breath, and seemed to resettle before getting up. He had a confused, yet slightly amused expression when he joined her in the little kitchen space, “What did I do to warrant sandwich duty?”

“You looked bored, that’s what.” She chided back, and pushed a tomato into his prosthetic hand and a tiny kitchen knife into the other. 

He let out a huffed laugh, and settled into the task of prepping. 

While they worked to make a variety of sandwiches, Bucky would grab nibbles as he went. When the sandwiches were ready for distribution, Bucky took five of them for himself. 

Pleased her theory had been right, Darcy made sure Bucky helped her with at least one of the meals each day, and for the rest she had Jarvis send live video feeds to Bucky’s phone of the food being prepared. 

Natasha and Steve gave her private thanks for catching the problem and finding the solution. Bucky’s thanks came in the form of brutal game nights, where they’d square off with board games and video games. Some nights it was everyone in the tower playing (Pepper was banned from playing Monopoly), and others it was just the two of them (“I saw that Barnes! If you throw that blueshell I swear to Thor I will put ghost peppers in your soup tomorrow!”)

Three months after Bucky and Steve moved into the tower, Thor returned, and he didn’t come alone.

They’d all had a heads up that this might be a possibility, but no one had thought it would actually happen.

Loki, Destroyer of New York, God of Trickery and Chaos, was back on Earth…to finish his community service.

[shywhispersunknown]

Are Connections Real, Or A Figment Of Our Imagination?

Id known my "new guy" since high school. We didn't have a lot of interaction back then, but we had friends in common so we'd crossed paths here and there. Like most of the world we'd found each other again on social media and managed to keep in touch over the years. A random comment or a like on each others photos, a greeting here and there in the dm, but nothing special. But as fate would have it, one Wu Tang lyric put us in each others romantic crosshairs. Our admiration for the Wu sparked full blown conversations about music, life, sports, and all things silly. I looked forward to his odd reel choices and he seemed to enjoy my sports takes, specifically my thoughts on Aaron Rodgers fleecing the Jets this past season. It was official, we were definitely morphing into bro's. I was really enjoying our new budding friendship, and not once did romance enter my mind. I wanna be clear though, I definitely found him attractive. In his current state he was holding it down, and was still very much cute to me. He'd picked up some weight in a good way and thank God he had all his hair and minimal grays. So when he started lightweight flirting, I was wit it. It was heart eyes and flames on my stories suddenly, and random likes on years old photos. I subscribed to his Youtube channel and liked every video... Yea, we were feeling each other. After months of the friend bit, he eventually asked me out and I was happy asf lol.

Our first date was simple and cute, ramen on a Monday. He picked me up and when I got in the car he went for the handshake, I went in with the hug *smirk. Aggressive much? Perhaps...but he was looking good and I wanted to break the ice and set the tone for familiarity. At lunch everything flowed great. We talked about life, the woes of dating, our current status and future expectations. I asked when was the last time he'd been in love and he mentioned it had been a long time. He turned the question on me and I gave him a condensed version of my past, determined to kept it lighthearted. I loved that he wasn't pushy... asking thoughtful yet careful questions.. The afternoon continued on with us laughing, joking and theorizing about everything and nothing. Our in person interaction felt good. No hypersexual conversation, or gender war crap, just vibes and good times. As our date closed out we made plans to see each other in real life, real soon.

What I loved most about my new guy, was, he was an awesome communicator. We managed to talk everyday in some capacity. Whether it was a marathon convo, a flurry of texts about how gaming causes impotence, or just a simple gif, he always touched based with me ..and I thought that was so dope. He hit me up randomly one day, letting me know it'd been too long since he laid eyes on me (his words), and he wanted to get together. We met up for pool that Saturday and I was pretty excited to see him. I explained how I had no skills but was a fast learner. I let it be known that if it even looked like i was about to lose, I was cheating. He laughed, not realizing I was so serious. The night went on, 3 rounds of pool, wings, laughs and our 1st kiss. It was weird as hell. I should've known right there that this was bad. I chalked it up to me being out of practice and us never really taking the time to explore our likes and dislikes. We'd never had a sexual conversation and our physical interactions were super light...a brush of the fingertips while we played, maybe a longing look...but nothing to get you going. Determined to display my "sexy side" while posted up at the bar, I attempted to redeem myself by grabbing him close to me licking then biting his neck and blowing in his ear. The response was positive, but we still couldn't get the making out part right. It was cool though, we still held hands on the car ride home. Awkward kiss aside we had another successful outing and all seemed well.

Fast forward a few weeks he mentioned wanting to take me out for my birthday. I got all dolled up, heels and the whole 9. He was shocked . He got out the car and really put on the best "daaaamn my baby fione" voice. I loved it. I was beet red from the hardcore blushing I was doing. . .We gave each other a light peck and I got in. He kissed my hand and we pulled off. While engaged in light conversation he played Killer Mikes new album... occasionally looking at me, telling me how beautiful I was. My man was really rizzing it up yall. We walked into the restaurant hand and hand and received approving looks from some of the patrons. Lunch was going smooth as I was telling him we needed to check out Mercer Labs for our next outing.

This was great. It'd been a minute since I met someone who Id really liked. I even let my girlie feels get the best of me, thinking "Jesus is this THE GUY?" I know, I know, mad dramatic for no reason. Prior to meeting him Id taken myself out the game. The last guy I called myself dating, wound up being just a "fun time", if you can read between the lines. We were a horrible match and I knew that there would be nothing more than what we were doing. This particular person displayed behaviors Id experienced before, he was hella toxic. There was always an unnecessary argument to be had, lo-key insults and a host of other things that's not worth mentioning. The good sex definitely wasn't worth the trouble. I eventually got to a point where I cut communication and ghosted him. See, not only did I know better, I knew I never wanted to find myself in that place again. *Read entry titled Alive for more context. I also knew I wanted more...not with him...but just in general. So with a made up mind and frustrated heart, I sat myself all the way down, promising God and myself that I would try my best to stay outta sexual sin. So that meant no more casual situations!

Through worldly eyes we tend to view hooks up as simply "doing us, or living our best lives". But in reality, we're creating soul ties with people we really don't know...and that can come with a whole new set of problems. Traditionally , soul ties are often viewed as a deep romantic spiritual connection, observed for the one we love. But not all soul ties are positive...some can lead to unhealthy or even destructive relationships that negatively impact mental health. Its more than unwanted pregnancy and diseases we face...Its rejection, esteem issues, depression, and in more serious cases, suicide and so much more .

Now, where was I? Oh yes, back to the story!

So this is where it all goes to hell. Lunch is over and I ask what's next. He tells me the world is mine and he just wants spend the day with me. We do a little bit of everything, movies, sight seeing and the bar. Both tired from being out all day we hop in the car and start heading home. We had a quiet ride, holding hands the entire time. We pulled up in front of my house and yup...you guessed it...he asked could he come in. I don't know why I didn't see this coming. I was hesitant, because I wasn't sure what this meant. But against my better judgement I invited him inside. I was at war with myself as he followed me up the stairs. My inside voice said with much attitude "Im grown grown! and if I wanna invite a guy over, I should be able to do that". But the reality was I didn't want to find myself in another sexual situation. The thought of the guilt and condemnation that I KNEW would come....Nah bruh...I was good. But then I thought "the day was going so good...what could go wrong?" Once upstairs, we sat on the couch and he turned on SpyFamily. This wasn't so bad, cuddling...anime...simple. But that was short lived.

By the third episode he was all over me. This didn't feel right. The kissing was still off and I couldn't get out my head. Do I really wanna do this? No, I don't. Should I just live in the moment and try to have a good time? Ugh.. a mess! Ill spare you the details and inform you that I went with the latter. It was awful*facepalm. We had zero chemistry and I instantly regretted it. We cuddled for about an hour or so, until we both agreed it was time for him to leave. I felt like ish. He called me when he got in, and I tossed and turned all night. Conviction started to set in as replayed the past few hours…Trying my best to clear my mind… I settled on "it happened, I don't care, I'm going to sleep". But sleep never found me.

With a new day ahead of me and convenient amnesia, I set out to help with my nieces baby shower. In the throws of organizing and running my mouth, I felt a familiar vibration. I chose to ignore and just enjoy the time with family. As the night came to a close, I headed to my car making the conscious decision not to look at my phone till I got home. I don't know why though. Well I do know. The thought of hearing from him excited me, but if he didn't reach out I really would've felt terrible. After scolding myself for acting like a child, I took out my phone and proceeded to read the messages. With a sigh of relief, I saw that there were several dm's and a few texts from him. It was nothing special. I responded normally and mentioned Id hit him up tomorrow because Id had a long day. Ok I thought...we good. Wrong. Bright and early the next morning I see two odd texts from my new guy, "Good morning. Do you have Zelle?" The next read, "How much did you pay for your coat?" What? I looked at my phone confused, because yes...I did leave my coat in his car the other day...but I could always get it from him another time. I didn't see the need to buy me another one. So I responded with just that. His next text knocked the wind right outta me. “Babe...I wasn't completely honest with you. I'm not exactly single. I'm actually married...and she found your coat. I'm sorry. Now please, tell me the price, I wanna replace it."

MARRIED wtf? I literally was frozen. I replayed everything over the past few months. Nothing stood out that would make me feel like he was involved with someone...hell, I asked him! But wow...married. We talked everyday...and I could call him whenever I wanted. We didn't have to duck and dodge when we were out...I was so confused...what did I miss? I scoured his fb looking for something, anything! And then I found it. There it was in every picture... his wedding band. The pictures were a few years old, maybe five years...but it was definitely visible. How could I not have seen? He never wore it while out with me, this was crazy. But was it?

Collecting myself, I eventually responded to him with an inflated number that he promptly paid without question. With my monies in my account, and his ass blocked... a sudden silence fell over me. I didn't talk to anyone for days. I read through all our dm's, texts, fb messages tryna figure out how I played this wrong. This connection…this thing I thought I felt....was it real or was it a figment of my imagination?

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

OC LOREDROP PRETTY PLEASE??

okayyy!!! i haveeeee soooooo many OCs, i'm going to talk about the ones from the fairy realm part in my story!!

right, so one of my deuteragonists from the previous part of the story, Hana Kaetsu, in the fantasy arc, accidentally gets sent to the fairy realm by reading a letter from a mysterious group mistakenly delivered to her, that was actually meant for her classmate Sybil Villin who's secretly a witch (she's pretty open about her interest in making potions and researching the supernatural and all that but ofc everyone just thinks she's interested in it cause. people don't generally believe in that anymore). anywayyyyy cause of Hana's little misadventure there, she because one of four people in her class who are now able to see ghosts and other supernatural creatures due to now having a connection with the supernatural. the other three are Sybil, ofc, cause she's a witch, her friend Naoki Himura because he managed to free and summon the ghost of their murdered classmate Ashley Atwell, and Ash herself cause. ghost

butttt before being able to return to the human world after Sybil, Naoki and Ash figured out what was going on when she suddenly disappeared (only they noticed that Hana had gone missing due to her disappearance being of supernatural causes, and them being the only ones around who have that experience- for everyone else, it's as if Hana never existed but they remember her again as if nothing happened after she returns), Hana met Sybil's "coven" (which is a gathering of witches, but they're not all witches, half of them are fae), the coven being the one who tried to address that letter to Sybil, wanting her back as she'd suddenly lost contact with them for a few years. where Hana ends up after being transported there is a village in the fairy realm called "Glacialisville" and the forests surrounding it, a slightly cold area that gets very snowy winters and not very warm summers, only about 25 degrees Celsius max. also quite windy and prone to storms

the coven consists of:

Lady Esmerelda- a forty-six year old witch who is basically the leader, currently the lady of the mansion they are based in, "Glacies Manor" though she doesn't own it, just looking after it until Rowan feels prepared enough to take on the responsibility. adoptive mother of Rowan and Dahlia

Rowan Leblanc- a nineteen year old witch. his bio mother was executed for being caught practicing witchcraft- her and her ancestors were the true owners of Glacies Manor and are a long line of very powerful witches (though are known for having slightly unstable magic compared to others), including a particularly infamous one...

Dahlia Leblanc- a seventeen year old vampire who was banished from the vampire realm, in which she was princess of one of the royal families. disowned due to not being considered a "real" vampire as she was born with an incredibly rare and tricky condition that made her highly allergic to blood

Marceline- a seventeen year old witch, old friends with Sybil and the one who set out to find her again. Marcy is incredibly skilled with a sword and plans to enrol into the uni below

Belle, Olivier and Ciel Krieger- twenty year old fairy triplets who attend an university that specifies in training future members of the fairy army with sword fighting, archery etc

Nixie- a seventeen year old unique type of fairy that can shape shift- however he can only turn into creatures that humans consider fictional, such as a unicorn, pegasus, phoenix, dragon, mermaid

Ghost- twelve years old, a type of fairy known as changeling who was switched into an awful family in the human world. Lady Esme found her and immediately saved and took her in after seeing how she was treated due to being fae. cannot speak due to having a damaged throat from that "family" trying to kill her by stabbing, prefers to mainly communicate through drawings and miming. is able to communicate with these jelly-like floating creatures around the forest who she often holds tea parties with

Lillie- a twelve year old witch who looks up to the older witches in the coven (Lady Esme, Marcy and especially Rowan due to him being very older brotherly) who is incredibly excited about becoming able to use controlled magic at thirteen (spoiler- doesn't happen, she's murdered four days before her thirteenth birthday)

need two more characters to make a whole "thirteen" for the coven feel, haven't thought of them yet

other major characters!! Dahlia and Marcy's college classmates, all also seventeen (well. probably not cause birthdays and all that but i haven't figured it out yet. they attend Glacialisville College of Arts, where they have compulsory English (mixed Lang and Lit), Maths and History + three or occassionally four creative subjects:

Vie von Vogelblut- a vampire who suffered similar trauma to Dahlia, being thrown out of the vampire realm due to disownment. he lives with his equally disowned aunt and her daughter, Rouge, who while technically his cousin, is more like his older sister. Rouge is four years older than him, twenty-one, and also goes to that army uni thing that the Krieger triplets go to. Vie is somewhat childhood friends with Dahlia, he's basically her second brother, she's his second sister. he takes Hair and Makeup, German, Creative Writing and Theatre

Raphael- a fairy who was immediately adopted into the group by the extroverted Dahlia and ends up being very good friends with Vie. Raffi takes Drawing and Painting, Photography and Arabic

Clarissa- a fiery fairy who's besties with Dahlia, frenemies with Vie. idk what she takes yet

Alexandrite- a witch who's particularly gifted with elemental magic. takes Drawing and Painting, Sculpture and Photography

Nora- a fairy who's rather wary of flying due to being visually impaired and there being less to feel in the air. she has a Golden Retriever called Leo as a service animal and she takes Violin, Creative Writing and Song Writing

Natalie and Amaryllis- a pair of fairy sisters who've been through some crap (father lured to death by a demon). they both get along well with Vie. apart from her sister and Vie, Amy's only friends with Dahlia and Alexandrite due to severe social anxiety and Nat's much more outgoing and on very good terms with most in college. Amy and Nora also wanted to be friends due to having similar fashion sense, however, there was a communication barrier due to Nora's visual impairment and Amy being selectively mute (so Nora wouldn't be able to read what Amy writes but at the same time, Amy's unable to speak to her) but!! they both decide to learn Morse code (Amy taps her messages onto Nora's hand) so they eventually get to get along. idk all the subjects the sisters take yet, but Nat does Photography as one of them and Amy takes Hair and Beauty (same class as Vie)

oh yeah i forgot about Dion- Clarissa's cousin, just kind of a bitch really

there's more but aaaaaaa i think. i've gone insane enough

[m0r1bund]

hey, I was wondering if you have any tips or good resources on writing eco-fiction?

This is a GREAT question that I don’t feel qualified to answer. I have read a lot more environmental nonfiction than fiction, and I'm not really cued in to what other eco-fiction writers are doing. I’m also playing in the margins because creative writing feels like my second language (vs. visual arts, worldbuilding, etc.) So… I can only share what's worked for me. Take the best and leave the rest, chief o7

I think everything circles back to becoming freakishly obsessed with your home environment. This is just the way I was built LOL, if I want to make anything I have to be a little bit obsessed with it. I also just like to read fiction from people who aren’t career artists, who have some kind of niche interest or lived experience that colors their work (whether they want it to or not.)

studying ecology, the natural world, working with your hands in the dirt, whatever-- you can also appreciate how inseparable everything is from place. pick any moment in history and you can make a rich environmental reading of it. We construct stories that obfuscate this, but almost everything we do as humans is motivated by land and water and access to land and water. This really informs how I write. Everything is connected to The Desert even when it isn’t immediately obvious to me.

Which brings me to another thought. Most of my writing is playful daydreaming that asks “Wouldn’t it be fucked up if ______?” AND YET! The natural world is always doing it weirder and cooler. You just get to set up the dominoes in ways that highlight this, I think.

Like, 90% of what happens in Asthaom is motivated by water and access to water, the big limiting resource in a desert. So a false god marches on Scaiuq looking for mythical water. An ex-cactus rustler makes counterfeit versions of a rare cactus dye in order to flood the market and drive down demand for the real thing. your ancestors manufactured a climate crisis and now, 1000s of years later, the desert is fundamentally changed but still worth loving and fighting for. These are hyperbolic lies about real things that, I think, are very poetic and worth mythologizing. Fiction is daydreaming but it’s also about tricking you guys into caring about the boring stuff that I care about, hahaha

In that vein, being part of an eco-art community has also catalyzed a lot of things for me. In 2018 I joined Those Who Went Missing, an art therapy game about nature spirits who are created from lost and missing individuals. you tell stories about your characters and have them interact with others in a setting that's based on the real world. Suddenly I was spending a lot of time reading what others think of their home environment… (And now I’m realizing “I haven’t read a lot of eco-fiction” is a lie)… and suddenly I had this shared space to spew desert propaganda create stories in.

Something I like about TWWM is it doesn’t exclusively attract earth science people, so there are a lot of people who are using this game to learn and write about the natural world for the first time. Through them, I get to put names and faces to places that were once distant and abstract to me, and I also get to relive the thrill of learning what sky islands are, how to identify a mockingbird, etc. I also encounter a lot of dominant narratives about deserts, deserts as wastelands / empty spaces / inhospitable crucibles, the relationship between humans and land, that we’re separate from nature, that we only harm and extract, etc. This is not knocking those stories, they're valuable, it just motivates me to write my personal blasphemies so that I can gently push back.

It makes me think of something I was taught in my oral storytelling class, that storytelling is made by place, time, and audience. You will never tell the same story twice because you’re never going to be the same person in the same space at the same time with the same people, you have to be sensitive to yourself and the needs of those around you. Maybe this is just typical “knowing your audience” LOL but it really is a different process writing for TWWM as a group. leaving the jargon behind, being loud about deserts, insisting on depicting reciprocal human-land relationships even more than I otherwise would, while also grappling with the hurt and frustration of being thrust into an extractive relationship with the natural world. maybe 2 people will actually read/see it, but if it leaves an impression then it’s all worth it baybeeeeee

I don't really have a denouement here, but I hope you found something useful, thank you for giving me something to chew on. Anyone reading this, please share resources that come to mind. I feel poorly-read, haha

[theimportanceofeyebrowgroomi]

How Our Struggle with HCP Engagement Led Us to a Healthcare Marketing Research Breakthrough

The Problem: Our Campaigns Were Falling Flat

As the commercial lead at a mid-sized pharmaceutical company, I thought we had HCP engagement figured out. We ran email blasts, hosted webinars, sponsored events—you name it. But the results were underwhelming. Emails went unread, responses dropped, and our campaigns weren’t converting.

The truth hit hard: we were losing touch with our healthcare professional (HCP) audience.

We needed real insights—not guesses—into why our efforts were missing the mark. That’s when I realized we couldn’t do this alone. We began exploring options and eventually partnered with a top healthcare market research firm to help us see the bigger picture.

Pinpointing the Real Issues

The research team ran a full audit of our engagement strategy. Their findings were sobering:

Our content was generic and often irrelevant to HCPs’ specialties.

We sent messages at inconvenient times, through channels they rarely used.

Worse, we treated HCPs as data points, not individuals.

In short, we were overwhelming our audience with noise instead of building meaningful interactions.

Turning the Tide with Smarter Strategy

Once we faced the reality, the path forward became clear. Our research partner suggested three core changes:

1. From Broadcast to Behavioral Targeting

Using behavioral insights and AI modeling, we shifted from mass emails to hyper-personalized campaigns:

We identified each HCP’s preferred communication channel.

Timing was adjusted based on real engagement patterns.

Content was curated based on specialties, past interactions, and interests.

This led to stunning improvements:

Email-only engagement: 16%

Mobile app-only engagement: 22%

AI-optimized, cross-channel engagement: 38%

Our message was finally landing where—and when—it mattered.

2. Real-Time Feedback with Agile Panels

Previously, research cycles dragged on for weeks. But through agile research panels, we could:

Test content variations within days

Iterate campaigns in real time

Make data-informed decisions across teams

This slashed our insight turnaround time by 40% and made our campaigns far more responsive.

3. Co-Creating with HCPs

Perhaps the biggest shift was philosophical: moving from extraction to collaboration.

We involved HCPs directly in:

Advisory boards

Community discussions

Campaign brainstorming sessions

Instead of just surveying them, we asked for their input—and acted on it. Engagement skyrocketed. Suddenly, HCPs were part of our mission, not just on our mailing list.

Navigating Compliance with Confidence

Naturally, we had concerns about data security and compliance. Working in healthcare means playing by strict rules—GDPR, HIPAA, and more.

Thankfully, our research partner had built-in safeguards:

Consent-first engagement

Data anonymization and encryption

Transparent AI algorithms

That gave our legal and compliance teams the confidence to greenlight even the most sophisticated strategies.

The Results: More than Just Metrics

Six months into this transformation, here’s what we saw:

30% drop in opt-out rates

2x increase in campaign engagement

3x faster research turnaround

20-point NPS improvement among HCPs

But the biggest win? We rebuilt our connection with the people who matter most—our HCP audience.

We stopped shouting into the void and started listening. That’s when everything changed.

Conclusion: Why Choosing the Right Healthcare Services Research Partner Matters

This journey taught us that volume doesn’t equal value. We didn’t need more emails or louder campaigns. We needed relevance, respect, and relationships.

Finding the right healthcare services research partner gave us the strategy, tools, and insights to make it happen.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of diminishing returns, I can’t recommend it enough—invest in the right research, and you’ll unlock a whole new level of engagement.

Better insights. Stronger connections. Real results.