#and that makes me cry /lh
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he must be held gently
@intotheelliwoods
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rise leonardo#rise future leo#rise future leonardo#2 arms left#2 arms left fanart#2al#2al fanart#send help#i thought this was a new pose#but looking back through my 2al folder no.... this is a fairly common pose i've drawn#though the closest comparasin would be one with big leo and sprout#and that makes me cry /lh
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#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#GENUINELY Y DID THIS PART MAKE ME CRY THEY WERE JUST WALKING#walking and getting killed i guess#2025#fanart#sketches#omggg i missed drawing them but looking back i think they look exactly the same as i drew them before? 😭 when ur art style is stagnant /lh
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Throws this on stage and accepts the tomato pelting I deserve
Parody of the Thomas Jefferson Hatsune Miku Binder thing for those unaware 👍
[rambling in tags]
#cj thdph#thdph#chonny jash thdph#cj devil#chonny jash#appalling mustelid tornado#Thomas Jefferson hatsune miku binder#this is so bad I’m gonna cry 😭#I am cringe but I am . well. not really free just cringe /silly#I don’t know what compelled me to [albeit half assed] render it#don’t look to close at the clothing folds . or the lineart . or the eyes. or th#[yeah I got pretty lazy half way through . sorryyy I’m not putting my all into something like this lol]#I highly recommend doing a side by side with the original ! it at the very least would make me look. less insane lmao#fr though I had a lot of fun with this#really with I could’ve given him a tail but there was no space :[#shoutout to my moots who helped/motivated me with this you know who you are :] 👍#I was chill about CJ being here because I had nothing to hide but after this I’m not so sure /lh
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If I had a nickel for every time I had an alien with a portable pocket dimension who's likely the last of their kind as a comfort character, i'd have two nickels. /ref
#wander over yonder#woy wander#woy fanart#monkey wrench#shrike sanchez#this is the most niche drawing ive ever made gat damm#going from drawing wander to drawing shrike gave me whiplash lol the styles are so different#also drawing shrike was LITERAL HELL i cant imagine BUCKIGN ANIMATING HIM---MONKEY WRENCH ANIMATORS WHAT ARE YOU ON????#i would pay someone to make a comic of these two interacting (i could do it but im way too lazy)#i cant believe i spent so much time on this stupid doggarn thing im gonna cry /lh#also the height difference between these two is insane I made shrike kneel and wander is STILL barely in frame HAHH
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Dying Star

In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
- - - - - - -
Sam’s words have been weighing heavy on your mind ever since you discussed your shared future and the various forms it could take. You didn’t realize just how heavy they were until it all came spilling out of your tired mind on a late night spent together beneath the stars.
Pairing: Sam x Darlin' / Reader
Word Count: 4,053
Contains: [angst] [a dash of humor] [a hint of chubby!Sam bc i like 'em strong and soft] [crying] [cuddling (dub-con cuddles with Quinn in the past & consensual ones with Sam in the present)] [emotional hurt/comfort] [implied/referenced dub-con sex (nothing graphic) (in the past between Darlin' and Quinn to be specific) (refer to my Ao3 notes for further explanation)] [mentioned Quinn] [not quite Dissociation i guess but Darlin' does zone-out/get lost in thought more than once] [pet names (Darlin' (obvs.) and honey)] [Reader is Darlin'] [Sam wears a cowboy hat bc i said so] [some passive suicidality from Sam if you squint (hell, maybe you don't even have to squint)]
A/Ns: Well, well, well, here I am, the person who said they wouldn't write any Redactedverse fanfic. I recently felt a mighty need to expand upon the blurb I wrote in this post, and I'm braving my fandom anxiety by sharing it here. pls be nice 2 me abt it
Timeline-wise, this fic takes place sometime after the ‘Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate’ audio but sometime before their presumed eventual departure from the house that William gave Sam, given that they've already had the 'turning' discussion but are still on the same roof in this fic.
This is a songfic, inspired by and quoting verses from 3 songs. Those being:
‘Dying Star’ by Ashnikko feat. Ethel Cain
‘Fix What You Didn’t Break’ by Nate Smith
‘No Plan’ by Hozier
The roof of Sam’s house is far from a ‘cushy’ place to relax. But as you lie here next to him under the stars, a knowledge settles within you that you wouldn’t trade the rough shingles beneath you for the softest mattress in the world. Not if it meant there’d be anyone other than him lying next to you.
Some people might counter that it’s an easy thing for you to say, given the number of nights you’ve thrown a balled-up shirt onto one end of a worn-out couch and called it a bed. But some people don’t know you as well as they think they do.
You’ve known luxury. Quinn might’ve been just as content taking his fill on a seedy motel bed as he was wrapped in silks at a Hilton, but he knew how to play up the luxe when it served him to do so. And in the early days as he worked to lure you in, it did. Plush sheets and expensive drinks helped to soften the preordained blows and dull the imminent pain that your nights with him held.
Once you’d latched onto the bait though, he let the act drop one piece at a time, like props collapsing on a stage. After all, what was the point in all of those frivolities when you both knew what you really came to him for? It wasn’t to be wined and dined, it wasn’t to be dressed up and shown off, and it wasn’t even to be slowly stripped of it all, laid out across the rolling clouds of a pillowy mattress.
It was to be used. Tranced. Restrained. Bitten. Drank from. Choked. Hit. Edged. Denied. Made to writhe and whine and bleed and plead. Plead for more, for less, for nothing, for anything. Anything to quiet your mind and fill the ever-expanding void inside you where you suspect love was supposed to live.
That’s what you both really wanted.
At least, that’s what you told him you wanted.
That’s what you told yourself.
You only got what you asked for.
To your right, Sam stirs, stretching gently with a yawn. The soft noise he releases as he does so reminds you of where you are, and you trace back through your thoughts to find how you got so lost.
…Right. Luxury.
While your relationship with Quinn certainly changed over time, you never forgot what it felt like in the beginning.
You remember nights laid next to him, body sore, mind quiet. Quinn’s idea of aftercare was lacking to say the least, but you had nothing better to compare it to at the time, and you’d take what you could get. At least your head felt empty, and the bed was soft. Exhaustion would pull you under soon enough.
The mattress, sheets, and pillows enveloping you were likely worth more than you even made that past month. ...Or several. You found that display of luxury hard to be impressed by though, when it wasn’t the type of comfort you’d been seeking.
As Quinn shifted in his presumed sleep, pulling you in tighter, you didn’t fight it. You found yourself unwilling to fight anything he did, like his mere presence was enough to drain the fight right out of you. You told yourself that you were okay with that. Because you wanted it.
Lying there with your head on his bare chest, you took a deep breath and told yourself that you liked the stench of cheap cologne, poorly masking the cigarettes and alcohol on his breath. You silently told yourself that you liked everything. You liked the pain that he chased with hints of pleasure. You liked the loss of power, the way you couldn’t fight back if you wanted to once he looked you in the eyes. You liked all the things he said, no matter how much the truth might hurt.
He was right, you supposed. Your desires, the things you craved, the depravity that you so enjoyed, wasn’t normal. It was uncommon, unusual, and in the eyes of some, unfathomable. To possess such dark desires, there must be something truly broken inside you.
How lucky you were, to have found someone willing to indulge you. Someone that could give you everything you wanted, and be so kind as to keep it a secret too. He promised that word of the things he did to you, the things you let him do, would never get out. You remember the way he held your hand as he told you, falling for the guise of sincerity in his eyes. You remember his warm smile, and his razor sharp teeth.
You remember seeing that exact same smile on his face through one-way glass as he sat across from Sam and told him everything.
You stood in that room and thought back to those nights of luxury. To the feeling of his nails ghosting over the freshly healed punctures in your neck. To the way he held you against him. You remember laying there, lifeless, feeling like prey playing dead. Afraid to move, afraid to disturb him. But why? He hadn’t threatened you. He never told you that you had to stay. He never said that you couldn’t move, or pull away. So why did you feel that way?
As you stood, helplessly witnessing hours of his slander in that interrogation room, you understood. Your rose-tinted glasses had long since shattered, and you saw that smile for what it was. It was the smile of a man playing a dangerous game, brimming with satisfaction, thinking he’d won.
The radio near you begins to crackle, static obscuring the hosts voice as they announce the upcoming song. Sam doesn’t even open his eyes, just raises a hand and reaches out, blindly adjusting the antenna of the old device.
You’ve teased him for holding onto it for so long, as he is wont to do with damn near all of his possessions. But as you watch him deftly extend and angle the antenna with practiced care, the response he once gave you proves itself true once again.
“I don’t wanna replace it, Darlin’. It’s not broken. It just needs someone who knows how to make it sing again.”
The static clears, and music flows through the radio’s old speakers once more.
You watch Sam return his hand to its prior position beneath his head, acting as a makeshift pillow of his own. The way he’s lying has his hat pushed forward, and it’d be doing a damn good job of shielding his face from the sun if it weren’t somewhere around midnight at the moment. Still, it suits him somehow, despite its lack of any practicality. All he’s missing is a stalk of wheat between his teeth and a tree to lean against and he’d be the spitting image of the cowboy he swears he isn’t.
His other hand rests on the soft curve of his stomach, rising and falling again as he breathes. He’s the image of peace in moments like these, and you’re drawn to it like a moth to flame. Maybe one of these days you’ll find some of your own, but for now you’re more than content to bask in his.
As you admire him, he takes a slow, deep breath and you mirror it on instinct. The grounding practice helps you leave your mind and return to your body, if just for a moment. In doing so, you realize just how tense your ruminations have made you.
You relax your hands, releasing the blanket beneath you from your iron grip. You brush your palms over it, worried that you’ve torn the fabric once you realize that your nails had halfway shifted to claws. You don’t fret much over damage to your own possessions, but this blanket is Sam’s and you’d hate to ruin it. Though, you suppose he doesn’t prize it too much or he wouldn’t have laid it out here across the roof in the first place.
“If I buy somethin’ it’s because I wanna use it. Now quit frettin’ and get over here.” You recall what he told you earlier as he patted the blanket next to him in invitation, and you smile.
Doing a small stretch of your own, you release the tension in your shoulders, turning your attention back to the stars above you. For a while, you let the soft music wash over your tired mind.
“I asked him not to kill me politely. He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source. I washed up on the sea glass shores. I’m nobody's captive.”
In spite of your best efforts to relax, you’re still subconsciously futzing with the loose threads of the old blanket beneath you.
You’re made aware of it when Sam reaches a hand down, gently laying it over yours and effectively stilling your anxious motion.
“Burning like a dying star, invasive weeds rooted in my heart, set in a crooked trajectory. The journey here was hard, I was almost pulled apart. Trying to leave his orbit took what’s left of me.”
You flip your hand over beneath his so you can hold it properly, lacing your fingers together.
For reasons beyond your understanding, emotion tightens your throat, the threat of tears pooling in your eyes.
…You must be more tired than you thought.
As minutes pass and one song fades into another, your gaze dances across the blurry, scattered points of light in the dark sky.
“You were the star in the pitch black, shine the way on the way back. Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers.”
Sam’s always been so much better at identifying stars and finding constellations. But as the music plays, you begin to see one of your own.
“Picked up the towel that I threw in, took in a heart that was ruined. Showed me the past ain’t a tattoo, loved me even when you didn’t have to.”
“Sam.” You squeeze his hand to get his attention.
He squeezes back in acknowledgment. “Hm?”
“I want you to look at something.” You swallow back the emotion that tries to seep into your voice, but it catches his attention all the same.
He leans up and lifts his hat from his head, setting it aside near the radio. He then reaches to turn a dial back, lowering the music’s volume to give you his full attention.
You release his hand, raising yours up as he turns back to face you. You don’t say anything at first, nearly too lost in your own mind to realize you need to actually voice your developing thoughts.
"What—what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Your hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in your line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above you. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow your less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', your pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along your exposed wrist where your sleeve had slipped back, he takes your hand in his again and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." You say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." You nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting you. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
You scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh. "No—no I mean—like... what's another name for it... Oh, it's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but you cut him off before he can start. "But no. No, this isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in your overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Your frown is audible in your voice as you latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at your over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, honey, I promise."
You huff, but begrudgingly shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention.”
Sam’s brow furrows as you continue to explain, realization setting in that you really are being serious.
“I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...And there you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places and people that I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, at Wonderworld, surrounded by the ghost of him. Your warmth, your presence, your aura—even with all of your walls up, you outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me home."
In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand squeezes yours tight, his urgent tone pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
You look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, faint shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
You reach out, pulling him down into you. He falters for a moment at the sudden proximity, but quickly embraces you in turn. Burying your face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear your words, muffled against the thick flannel, but his hearing catches them just fine.
"Don't burn out too quickly. Please. I still need you here. I don't—I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
The words feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, but with it comes a flood of emotion they’d been holding back. You cry harder into him, and as much as it pains Sam to witness, he lets you feel it, for as long as you need.
Your fear of losing him manifests itself physically, nails curling and sharpening again. When he feels them prick his skin through the fabric of his shirt, he calls your name but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans further down into you, letting his weight ground you. “Darlin’, I am right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
As you eventually cry yourself out, enough wherewithal returns to you to realize that you should probably release the poor man from your grasp, and the awkward position you pulled him into. When he pulls away enough to see your face, you notice a string of snot running from your nose to his shirt collar. Quickly batting it away out of embarrassment, you cringe, voice thick as you apologize. “Eugh, gross. Uh… sorry. About that.”
He shakes his head, laughing good-naturedly as you wipe at your nose with your jacket sleeve. “It’s completely fine, honey. After all, I’ve been covered in plenty of your, uh… various fluids before. When you come from my line of work, this is child’s play.”
He leans to his right, reaching back and pulling—of all things—a handkerchief from his jeans’ left back pocket. You laugh at his words, and at the sight, but with how congested you are it turns into more of a hacking cough than anything. Accepting his offering, you blow your nose into the black patterned fabric.
As soon as you can speak somewhat clearly, you can’t stop the teasing remark that slips out of you, gesturing with the wad of fabric in your hand. “You know, you really aren’t beating the cowboy allegations with stuff like this.”
He rolls his eyes but his soft smile remains. “It’s a practical thing to have on me, ‘allegations’ be damned.”
You shake your head with a smile of your own, but don’t disagree. As you’re visibly unsure what to do with the dirtied fabric, he takes it from you, setting it aside. “I’ll toss it in the wash when we go back inside. Along with my shirt, and…” He eyes you for a moment. “…that jacket of yours too, given how long you’ve probably been wearin’ it.”
Normally you’d argue that it hasn’t been that long, but come to think of it, you actually can’t recall when you last washed the thing.
Reaching up and rubbing your temples, you already regret your crying fit as a headache begins to set in. “Fuck, Sam... I’m sorry for… whatever that just was. I don’t know what came over me.”
His expression falls into something serious again. “You never need to apologize for feeling. And it certainly seems like… you needed to feel that.”
You nod quietly, but don’t elaborate, prompting him to question you gently. “Darlin’. What was that about? The—the askin’ me not to leave. Are you… afraid that I’m gonna leave you?”
You close your eyes, weighing out your response. “…Not in the sense that you’ll break up with me or something, no.”
His gaze narrows and his head tilts as he rolls your answer over in his mind. “If it ain’t that, then—” He remembers how you mentioned ‘forever’ and cuts himself off as the puzzle pieces start coming together. “Oh. …Oh, Darlin’, no.”
You open your eyes to watch as he shifts from leaning next to you, moving to sit up beside you. “Is this about what I told you, when we sat up here and had our uh… turning discussion?”
You hate to admit it, but you nod in confirmation. “…It’s your choice, Sam, and I never want to take that away from you. I shouldn’t have said what I just did, I—I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or like you have to stick around for my sake. But I’d be lying to you if I said it hasn’t been playing on my mind. The thought of you… leaving. Like that.”
He reaches up, running a hand through his hair. “I… think I maybe should’ve been a bit more clear, when I said that. Because I wasn’t talking about any time soon. I didn’t want to give you the false impression that I plan on sticking around for centuries, but… I also wasn’t trying to imply that I’ve got plans to do it next week either.”
You bolt upright, voice cracking. “Next week?! I sure as shit hope not!” You grab your head, pain flaring and suddenly dizzy from the quick shift in position.
He places a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “I’m not, honey, I’m not. Did you catch the rest of my sentence? I’ve got no plans to leave this world any time soon. I promise.”
You groan, head pounding. “I heard you, I did, I just—fuck, I don’t even wanna think about you leaving so soon. Here I am, stressing, thinking I’ve only got—I don’t know—some odd years left with you, and…” You sigh, trailing off.
Sam stays quiet for a minute, letting the crickets sing.
Eventually, he interrupts their chorus. “…Can I get closer to you?”
You nod. “…Please.”
He closes the gap between you, carefully wrapping a strong arm around your curled shoulders. “You’ve got way more than a couple years. I promise you that.” Your tension begins to ease a bit as he clarifies. “You… you’ve helped me find a life that I actually feel like livin’ again, for the first time in a long time. And I want to experience it with you for as long as I can.”
“…Really?” Your voice sounds so small, so unsure, so… unlike you when you question him that he wants to kick himself in his own ass for the role he unintentionally played in making you feel this way.
“Yes. Really. I mean—” His voice takes on an edge of humor. “If you decide to set your sights on the year 3,000…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. But as far as the 21st century is concerned? …I think I’d like to see it through. For as long as you’re there to see it with me.”
His words cause fresh tears to well up in your eyes, and you sniff in an attempt to hold them back. The sound catches his attention, and he leans forward, thumbing across your warm cheek. “…I’m makin’ you cry again…”
You shake your head, clearing your throat. “No—No, it’s okay. It’s good. They’re… they’re good. It’s… relief.”
He breathes out a relieved sigh of his own. “Yeah?”
You nod, leaning into him. “Yeah.”
As you rest against each other, breathing in the cool night air, you nudge him with your shoulder. “Can we… lay back? For a bit?”
He squeezes your arm in gentle confirmation. “Of course.”
He twists and reaches back to straighten the wrinkled blanket beneath you, before laying out across it himself. The radio crackles as he turns the volume back up a bit. Watching him with tired eyes, you smile at the sight of him patting his chest in habitual invitation.
“Sit in and watch the sunlight fade. Honey, enjoy, it’s gettin’ late. There’s no plan. There’s no hand on the reign. As Mack explained, there will be darkness again.”
Curling up against his side and laying your head on his chest, you release a heavy sigh when his hand comes up to rest on your shoulder. As his fingers press rhythmically into the tense muscle beneath them, you breathe in his scent. Black coffee and wildflower honey… he smells like home.
“Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lyin’ under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made.”
You reach your hand out across his broad chest, slipping beneath his open flannel and sliding down to rest on his waist. He sighs, relaxing further beneath your touch.
“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. That’s how I know now that you understand.”
Yeah, you’ll take this over ‘luxury’ any damn day.
“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”
Laying there with him, listening to the low hum of the radio, the moment grows so comfortable that you almost hesitate to break it.
“The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song.”
“…Sam?” You whisper into the night.
His hand sweeps across your back before returning to your shoulder. “I’m here, Darlin’.”
“There’s no plan. There’s no kingdom to come.”
You smile. “I… I’d like to be there, to be here, to see it through with you, too.”
It takes him a moment to recall exactly what you’re referring to, but when it hits him he hums a low understanding tone, clearly pleased. “Then let’s see where it takes us, yeah?”
“But I’ll be your man if you got love to get done.”
He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got plenty a’ time.”
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my extensive notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. My Sam & Darlin' Playlist My Sam Playlist My Darlin' Playlist My Sam & Darlin' Moodboard My Sam Moodboard My Darlin' Moodboard Header Image Credit: Gage Smith on Unsplash
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted fanfic#redacted fandom#sam collins#samuel collins#redacted tank#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#one of my last Redacted posts didn't make it into the tags. which wasn't a big deal since it wasn't something important#but i spent some real time and effort on this fic so if tumblr yeets This post into the void i Will cry. and then painstakingly repost it#i've got big feelings about Sam and y'all r gonna see it whether u like it or not /lh#anyways hey this fic was unexpected. and much like Midnight Hour the production time was relatively fast thanks to the power of Fixation#i was gonna post the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding and then work on a Boothill oneshot and then maybe the [N]MbD New Year's fic#but i've been feeling Some Kinda Way lately and i guess i needed to project it onto Sam. so this fic took precedence#i humbly offer my first contribution to the Redacted fandom. pls don't attack me if they're OOC /hj#i'm out here doing my best to walk the line between canon compliance and self-indulgence#also i know that bright thing in the header image i used can't be Sirius. it's gotta be like. a planet i think? not sure which one tho#i've never even seen a planet that bright but my sky isn't all that dark so maybe they Can look that bright in some places#idk. the image description on Unsplash doesn't say. but 'planet' is in the tags so that's my guess#the only thing i've seen be that bright in the night sky 'round here is military flares. but maybe it's to do with how the photo was taken#a n y w a y s point is. the star Darlin' sees isn't That bright but the photo was too fitting not to use
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there is no greater joy i experience then when i receive completed commissions from artists🤍 i genuinely sit and take a moment to stare at the finished product like:
#── 𝒚. ♡#followed by a crash out over how lovely and amazing everything turned out hehe#even when i’m sent updates on the sketch/coloring phase like.. the giddiness i feel is akin to a child being told their parents are going ..#to buy them their favorite toy or an lollipop from the candy store like aaaaaaa#as someone who cant draw a circle to save her goddamn life i appreciate and love every artist i commission so much ..#they quite literally have brought my selfships and sona to life in ways that i cant even begin to comprehend .#in a strange way it makes me feel more connected to them in a way which again is strange considering they were thought up by me one silly ..#afternoon when i decided ‘hey this selfshipping thing is cool i wanna do it too :D’ like ..gosh..#i know that for a selfship to exist it doesnt any any kind of art to it but genuinely i wouldnt be going down this fun journey had i not ..#commissioned artists to bring my blorbos to life — that’s a tad of an exageration lol i would definitely still be here ..#but updates and musings about my blorbos wouldn’t be as frequent as they are now .#shout out to all the artists i have commissioned over the past few months they’re all such incredible talented and ..#the most loveliest people i’ve had the privilage of getting to work with and support ;; my wallet may be crying but i know damn well ..#my money is being invested in the right people and i will never regret it 🤍#also yes ;; i do have another comms i received HELP although this one will be a while since im planning on showing it the same day ..#that amé’s character notion page is completed which should be expected around mid-may if all goes to plan#( aka i dont lose motivation/procrasinate ) but yea anyways ;; just wanted to post this small unimportant ramble#oh right i also appreciate those who randomly gifted me an art of my selfships: ayame im looking at you specifically 👁️#EVERYONE MOVED ON BUT IM STILL HERE ADMIRING YOUR LOVELY JAW DROPPING KAZULIE PIECE#but those are just as precious and dear to me and one if these days i will find a way to force you to take my money in return because ..#wdym its free ?? no i refuse. TAKE MY SHIT AND GO. /lh /hj#tldr; i love artists <3
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@v0id-echoes y o u . im
politely cussing you out i have only played an HOUR of in stars and time and im already dying PLEASE stop posting it on the dash(/j) i get excited whenever i see them/pos
this is so bad for me this is soOoo bad for me i can feel it crawling in my brain i can feel it someonee help me please i cannot handle any more brainrot
#this is all /lh btw#im just mad at you because u pushed me over the edge to try and figure out how to make it work on linux and GODDAMN IT#WHY ARE THE CHARACTERS SO CHARACTER SHAPED???#WHY ARE THEY SO FRIEND#why are they so dynamic and also so definition#WGHY are they so#the silly noises appreciation committy i think thats what its called#“ding ding” “ding ding!” “ding ding!”#IM GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEE#IM GONNA PERISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#THIS IS ALL UR FAULTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT#im so invested and i cant play cuz i need to draw cuz i havent drawn enough lately but i NEED TO PLAYY DSYFHJhj drfsklihgcghkgfkjghf#this is a cry for help
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honestly cant stop thinking about these characters— can i just say i’ll never get over how CUTE sanka is i gotta fluster her in some way they’re adorable
Yeah, you get doodles for this LOL!! Had the biggest urge to doodle after reading this ask! this is so sweet, thank you so much („ಡωಡ„) I very much adore Sanka, they are so cute and fun to write, absolutely one of my favorites in Cafe Sweet <3
Here are some fun facts as well because I honestly just need to gush about our sunshine(*/▽\*)
Within the first week of meeting Sanka and Hyun-ae, Sanka got you two matching heart lockets. Sanka's wears his on his neck, Hyun-ae turned hers into an earring, and canonically you made yours a bracelet(You can decide wear on your oc it is though :3)
Because Hyun-ae hates frills and receiving the frilly apron, Sanka switched Aprons with Hyun-ae to make her more comfortable.
Sanka has a photo gallery on their phone with pictures of you and Hyun-ae named "My two favorite people in the entire universe!"
Sanka's hugs are so warm and comforting, her hugs are very firm but also gentle, they make you feel safe.
Sanka likes to give nicknames to everyone(ex: in game she calls Artemis, Arty! The nickname embarrasses Artemis, but he actually likes it.)
#☕️-cafe sweet#🎤-Asks#☀️-sanka#male yandere#yandere#yandere visual novel#yandere boyfriend#visual novel#yandere vn#I hope I did Zion justice TwT#Sanka makes me cry#i adore them so SO much#theres a reason their icon is a sun#guys#you dont wanna make em cry do you?/lh#or die👀
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Chat: You know, when we first met you, we really didn’t like you.
Fable, after a moment: …I thought there was going to be another half to that sentence?
Chat: Nope!
#fablesmp#fable smp#omg but that lore though-#why does Minecraft roleplay make me cry sm?!? /lh /hj#incorrect quotes#fsmp
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some of my friends: idc that u have autism!! i like u anyway!!!
those same people when i show the symptoms of my autism: why tf would u ever say smth like that i am so upset right now wtf 😬
#lol#like!!! i will alwayw communicate with people!!!#this is abt one of my friends saying shes mad#cause like#she thought yhis post was really funny#but then i started going on about how that account always makes memes out of ai and like did ppl just forget ai is like destroying the#environment#i didnt think much of it then i was like im packing for my trip:3#all she says to that is cool#i ask in a lh manner if shes mad at me#she says yes#i apologize (without giving some excuse) and she hasn’t answered since 😛#LIKE IF U WANT ME TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY U NEED TO TOO#i started crying for the secone time today lolz#im so fucking tired#vent#autism vent
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So I was watching a silly TikTok of Stanley Pines and drugs...
What if I jumped?
Like-
What if???? 😭😭😭🙏
#The jumping is unserious I SWEAR-#MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#WHY ARE YOU ALL MAKING ME FUCKING CRY IN THIS FANDOM??????#/lh#/pos#gravity falls#stanley pines#tw drugs#drugs cw#drug ment tw
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favourite memory of adding q!bagi to the qsmp is that when she was announced there was immediately cute edits and adorable fanart of her and her brother
then when the lore arrived for the mystery twins, q!cellbit just fucking hated her lmaooooo
#its more nuanced than that - big childhood trauma and loss - but makes me giggle in hindsight#the art and edits are still gorgeous so who cares about canon /lh#and also now i know more about them - theres no way cc!bagi and cc!cellbit would miss the opportunity to give the most angst possible#<- this opinion from a guy still crying over o segredo na floresta (i will always cry)#qsmp#qsmp lore#qsmp mystery twins#qsmp bagi#qsmp cellbit
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Last night I cried, and I mean UGLY cried at a foul hour because I love Albert Wesker and I hate it. (/Lh)

Like first off, the man's name is Albert??? Need I say more? But then, his name is kinda gothic when you say his full name. I don't know if that's just me. But just simply referring to him as Albert is goofy as fuck considering he's supposed to be a villain in RE. Not only that, he's got paper thin lips. How's he gonna get a kiss kiss??☝️🤨/ref


But it wasn't only that, mind you, it's also because this absolute FUCK, this evil David Bowie and Johnny bravo looking mother fucker, has consumed my life and every waking thought that sometimes it genuinely hurts and that's what I hate about being autistic. It's just how much I want to consume of something once it becomes a special interest and/or hyperfixation. On top of that, Wesker is a special case for me because I found out I technically trauma bonded to him as a comfort character. For the past year and a half now, I got back into RE because of the RE4R and began hyperfixating on said game then it spiraled into hyperfixating about the Wesker's storyline, with project W and so on. I already have a tendency to go back to RE periodically every like two or so years but this has low-key been probably the longest I've consistently fixated on RE without a single break in-between. My dad and I bonded over resident evil, he's one of the people who got me into RE, albeit he watched the movies and I got into the game's. Which means RE means a whole lot to me and since he passed my fixation on it only heightened as a source of comfort. I also found out when you have a comfort character during a horrible period in your life, you very well can trauma bond with said character. So that means out of all characters, I have trauma bonded to Albert Wesker and I am two seconds away from tweaking. 🤩
On top of that, every time @rainbowroadonsteroids sends me something remotely Wesker related I start punching my wall and they bully me for it smh./Lh+nm

Shout out to my favorite human nightlight, Albert Wesker. ☝️🗿
#comet rambles#putting in queue to deploy later#have some misc wesker images because hes an absolute enigma of a man#i wanna put him in a test tube or some kind of containment and study him#hes so strange 🥰#albert wesker#albert wesker dead by daylight#wesker#resident evil#resident evil 5#resident evil wesker#resident evil albert wesker#project w#im scared of tall people what if Albert leans down and licks my head 😔/ref+j#Calling him by Albert is diabolical but also insanely hilarious to me#like his name is so gothic to me but also very dorky/lh+nm#i love bullying my comfort characters btw if you're new here its just my cuteness aggression smh#i also have to post some psychoanalysis on this guy because he makes me go insane ffs#I also have a wesker collection and it's ever growing#like I have a coffin it's bag and I've ordered several pins for it for example. 😟#ita bag not its bag the fuck i aint fixing that shit#edit: found some typos and.fixed them in post lmfao#was also crying because i want a wesker figure so bad but they're so fucking expensive on ebay etc :“)#rebhfun
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the art for this banger album looks a little different hmmmm...
#pls i spent like an hour or two on designing and putting them together#blaming a moot for making me discover this app /lh#im fucking crying#faux speaks#shitpostin'#how to be a human being#htbahb#papa louie
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this theatre adding a bunch of lynch screenings on a day's notice when i already took shifts
#well i guess i can make it to fire walk with me which is the most important...#i just have to cry for them to let me go early#can't make it to eraserhead and lost highway although i would love to see LH...#[bowie voice] i'm derangedddddddddddddddd
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ sanctuary of solace and honeysuckle love 𓂃 yaoco through my lense! (+ a little doodle of the loveliest couple Ever! :3)


hello, sweetest coco! :D my apologies if this ask jumpscared you (>人<;) but i finally figured out how to log on to this blog and use this chance to send out some gifts to my treasured ones — including you! 💝 at first, i intended for these to be your bday present, but i guess it’s your christmas present now heheh! ^_^ it’s not much, but i hope your like it regardless ☺️🤍 thank you for being You and offering your kindness to me and many others! may the upcoming year bring you more and more joy and love, as you deserve nothing less than the best! mwah!!!! 🍞🌟🍮
p.s. i thought i should re-send this tiny gifts to you since the first one must’ve disappeared when i deactivated! but feel free to delete this if you feel uncomfy! 🤎
oh my goodness kai 🥺🥺🥺 WHAT IS THIS… what was the reason?! first of all — i’m pouting very angrily at tumblr for keeping you locked up for as long as they have ): i miss seeing your posts while i scroll dash so much ): my girl did nothing, FREE HER! 🪧
the doodle is so cute!!! 🥹 thanku for taking your precious time to do that for me… you didn’t have to, you know ): and yet, you did ♡ actually i have your haicokitty doodle set as a widget on my home screen hehe. i’m always made very happy whenever i look at it… i’m always happy when i think of you! 💘 now i will place yaoco doodle widget right next to it :^)

& that moodboard is so precious too, of course! i looked at that top right photo and started to cry AKSJKJ silly coco! ^__^; i remember seeing this on my inbox the day of my birthday, and is the first ever yaoco moodboard gifted to me ): so i will cherish it very dearly! in fact, i am making it the cover of my yaoco playlist as we speak right now!! 🎶 you’re so sweet kai, and i hope you know that your kindness and thoughtfulness never goes unnoticed 🥺 you have a heart made of gold! and i hope the world recognises it and gifts you wonders and treasures that are priceless ♡ i know blade does at the very least hehe!! i love you so! 🥺💗
#bisous!#chérir!#yaoco ⊹ ˚ ✦#kai you made me cry so bad this morning when i saw this in my mailbox HHRRRRHRHGH /lh of course but i’m just so touched!!! 🥺🥺 thankuu…#though i think no amount of thanks i say will be enough ever!#ps i got your other follow up ask — and it’s nothing to worry about :3 it’s really hard to find aes pinterest photos with people that aren’#pale skinned asdfghjkl but really i don’t mind!! 💗 just the thought of you doing this for me makes me feel so loved ):#thank you 🥺
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