#and that's one of the most basic and commonly used in writing

[moonlight-at-dawn]

Good thing about writing hand-to-hand fight scenes: I am intimately familiar with how it works and don't have to bullshit something together or do any research

Bad thing about writing hand-to-hand fight scenes: I have to assume readers do NOT know anything about it, and describe the movements rather than name them. Because nothing ruins a reading experience like not having any fucking clue what is happening.

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[tortadecuchufli]

The worst part about knowing how psychological evaluations work is that I see misinformation online and really wanna correct it but I can't divulge specific information for ethical reasons.

It makes me so unreasonably angry aaaaaaaa

[darqx]

Pick up the receiver I'll make you a believer

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

After doodling the first image that hug body slam meme immediately came to mind and i couldn't help myself 😂

Thanks very much I'm glad you are enjoying my art and characs! :D

To put the answer simply, Rire used to work for the prior King as a Collector (of souls) and he was that King's only Collector and so got the brunt of his ire for any related, perceived fault. Aside from that personal connection Rire also really disliked him because he viewed the prior king as a useless glutton who failed at ruling a sector (conditions were tanking/had tanked for ages), and which the Royal powers were wasted on.

Almost all of his sunglasses are actually normal human sunglasses, he can just see better than a human can 😎

Anything can be a kink, anon :d

Boring victims are often exceptionally weak-willed victims so that's something in particular he dislikes.

Yes he can play the piano and violin, and horseback ride and ballroom dance etc. Put it this way he has a lot of particular small skills that he picked up during his Earth visits so he could hide in plain sight with the upper echelons XD

Not like how a snake or cat hisses which is what I'm assuming you're implying XDDD He can't bite off a limb (his mouth ain't that big) but his teeth are very sharp so he can feasibly take a chunk out of someone or like, completely bite off something smaller (finger, ear...)

I havent added to it in a while (since I dont often find songs I like enough to actually download lol) but this is my current playlist for him in no particular order:

Anon, the fact you capitalised "Aliens" made me think of Xenomorphs and I had to immediately stop thinking 🤣

On a side note, I can't actually tell you either way because he hasn't encountered an alien (that isn't a demon or a human) lol. He'd probably initially treat an alien much like he would treat a common demon, if they are obviously not human, and then if he realises they are also not quite a demon this could peak his interest.

Pointing you in this direction because regardless of the canon answer this proves he could look good in one LMAO

Sorry to burst your bubble but no :d Though I suppose he could simulate the effect by reverting parts of them to their "liquid" state 🤔 DO WITH THAT INFO WHAT YOU WILL.

It is theoretically similar to a human's.

If you can remember his age then that is how old he is :d I'm not really like other creators who give their characs a definitive "birthday" down to the year, mainly because I don't often have set "time periods" in my stories lol.

His birth date falls somewhere between late October - late November though.

In the context of BTD; they just don't like each other XD Well I can't actually speak for Cain, but Rire not liking Cain is partly a riff on general angel/demon rivalry dynamics, and partly because Rire would see Cain as more of a threat since canonically Cain is way more OP than him.

Most of the time when i draw them Cain is also actively getting in Rire's space whilst Rire is actively trying to avoid him, so there's also that XD

It...depends. On which aspect of "ownership" you're implying. For those that he has deals with, he'd calculate what exactly the value of the deal lost would be and in this situation he'd likely write them off as Cain would be more annoying to handle then they'd be worth (he can always make more deals).

If someone was specifically marked by Rire, that's a different level of possessiveness and he'd actually try cos like

Hey guys some offence but why are some of you sending me asks formatted as if i were ChatGPT

Is there one for like, personal ambition or cunning or something cos I don't think he'd be any of those listed lol.

Rire doesn't have a mobile phone and he doesn't need one because he has a demon power that basically CCTVs all his citizens to himself. And really, if he wants to find you he'll find you.

He's somewhere in the middle of that scale through the sheer fact that he's been around long enough to see technology change and would've kept up with how to use things to blend in better, but also doesn't need to use the electronics to the point that he'd need to be an expert at it.

Is this cos Gato is Canadian cos I don't remember a country location being specified when we did it? |D Personally I figured most of the settings were in the US since the US has the most documented serial killers

Also sos no i dont anon, you'll need to either ask Gato or EP or dig through any of their lore posts they might have left.

Think kind of like Rire (he did learn a lot from her after all), but with a more Elizabethan era socialite vibe. Possibly a black widow but we dont have any proof about that.

Has/had a p good relationship. I use both terms because I still never decided whether she was currently dead or not lol.

Lol a misconception but Rire doesn't actually perceive humans as trash XD Trash suggests that he hates them and they wouldn't be worth regarding at all, whereas Rire usually finds them more like...novelties. Or like whatever that feeling that is associated with viewing ant farms or animals performing tricks is. Rire's mother would view them as more like working animals or livestock.

[theprettynosferatu]

Cover: @snootieenoot as Mia West

Breast Size and Cognitive Ability: A Rebuttal

Prof. Mia West

Overview and Project Objectives

This work originates from the publication of Prof. Lawson’s paper Breast Size and Cognitive Ability last month (Lawson, Breast Size and Cognitive Ability, Northwestern Journal of Science, 2025) and the ensuing discourse it has elicited both in the scientific community and society at large. Not only do we find it socially and politically harmful, but either intellectually dishonest or frankly substandard in both reasoning and the basic principles of experimental science.

Prof. Lawson posits that breast size in females is negatively correlated with academic ability and general I.Q. As this work will show, not only is Lawson’s methodology ruefully unsound, but his conclusions are so implausible one can only assume that, by his own logic, Professor Lawson must himself possess an impressive set of mammaries to believe such scholarship deserves serious consideration.

It is the objective of this paper to, entertaining such ludicrous premises, empirically disprove Prof. Lawson’s thesis on its own terms and hopefully set the matter to rest permanently.

Methodology

A research team comprised of four highly accomplished female experts (see Appendix A: Team Background and Initial Cognitive Tests), including the author, will take it upon ourselves to test Dr. Lawson’s hypothesis in a controlled, verifiable and reproducible basis. Having established a baseline for cognitive ability, we must consider the second element of Dr. Lawson’s proposed correlation; as we’re sure he’ll lament (given his manifest interests) all members of the team possess what can commonly be referred to as a modest chest size (see Fig.1: Team’s Initial Measurements).

In order to modify this factor gradually, we will be using Dr. Joanna’s Marsh experimental Focused Hormone Enhancement System, or FHES, which has shown remarkable results, even in its early stages of development (see Marsh, FHES Preliminary Observations, Oberlin, 2024).

Weekly breast measurements, as well as tests on cognitive ability, will be performed to track any changes in the research team, or most likely, lack thereof (at least in the intellectual side of Lawson’s correlation). Additionally, this author will provide any observations and comments that might be relevant to the purview of this paper. 

Observations: One Week Under the Effects of FHES

Initial results show that the effectiveness of Dr. Marsh’s compound not only meets the expectations established in her paper but, in the present use case, surpasses them (see Fig.2: Team’s Measurements, Week 1). All four team members have been forced to acquire new brassieres to work comfortably. 

A common reported side effect among the team is a degree of difficulty maintaining focus on complex tasks for even moderate periods of time- what is referred to as “brain fog” in common parlance. While not debilitating, this phenomenon has increased the difficulty inherent in writing a clear, concise overview. It does not, however, seem to be accompanied by physical exhaustion- activities which require movement have not been reported by the team as feeling more taxing.

We attribute this “brain fog” to the adaptation to the new hormonal load, and we expect it to subside soon. This also explains the slight decrease in the result of the team’s cognitive tests (see Appendix B: Cognitive Tests, Week 1).

Of additional note is that the team has experienced a slight but constant emission of clear, vaginal fluid. Testing shows it to be harmless and indeed to be the kind of fluid generated for lubrication normally during intercourse or arousal in general. We believe this to also be merely a temporary hormonal adjustment, but will keep monitoring it in the following weeks.

   Observations: Two Weeks Under the Effects of FHES

The effectiveness of FHES continues to astho asst surprise the team. Our tits breasts have expanded massively (See Fig 2: Team Measurements, Week 2), to the point that our standard lab uniforms no longer fit our curvy bodies and feel too tight and not in a cute way. To remedy this, the team was forced to go out and purchase new, more fitting and fashionable clothes (See Fig 3: Team Dressing Room Selfies). Obviously, new make-up was also necessary to match the vibe of the new fits, especially the goth-style gram garnm clothes chosen by April which just called out for some striking black eyeliner and a lighter shade of base. We collectively observed that the combination of her new clothes and make-up work really, really well on her: it’s giving bratty sub, as can be confirmed (See Fig. 4: April’s Selfies and Cute Pics Taken By Mia).

The Brain Fog is still there, probably because of the hormones and all other stuff, but the team reports it to be a pleasant sensation. While it makes writing these reports hard, it’s not really bad- more like floating in a pink, fluffy cloud. Prof. Lawson’s idea that tit size makes women dumber is still unproven, as the Pink (that’s what we have taken to calling the Brain Fog) is for sure the result of the treatment, not an effect of increased chest size. There are plenty of smart women with big boobs, after all, and I know for a fact Dr. Lawson has watched their videos on several adult sites. These women’s success in such a competitive industry is surely proof of their intelligence.

The constant most moiz wetness appears to have caused a few incidents among the team, since it now also involves an increased sensitivity and level of arousal. The distraction of feeling one’s pussy so needy all the time explains the lower test results this week (See Appendix C: Cognitive Tests, Week 2), as well as some notable events that took place this week.

It would be unprofessional to omit those events in this observation, so I’ll recount them as accurately as I possibly can. On Tuesday, before we went shopping, I walked into the Substance Storage Unit and encountered April and Sophia looking at a tablet. While I couldn’t see the screen, the video playing was at full volume, and I could make out the sound of a slut woman gurgling and choking on what, I can only assume, was a truly large cock penis. My teammates had both removed their (ugly) uniform pants, and unbuttoned their shirts (as mentioned, they had by this point become very uncomfortable, so that’s understandable). They were engaging in mutual masd mutul mmmmm fingering each other, drooling and moaning like stupid cunts in a way that showed their excitement. They shouted encouragement at the performer on the screen, which I feel demonstrates a high capacity to focus on engaging tasks; their choice of phrases (“take it deep you stupid bitch”, “fucking choke in it you dumb cow”, “use her fucking throat as a fleshlight!”) also proves their creativity. Witnessing this event produced a very strong effect on myself, but I managed to sneak into the bathroom before shoving my fingers inside my soaked pussy thus obtaining temporary relief.

Fuck. Okay, rubbing break over. Time to go back to writing.

A second incident took place on Friday. By then we had acquired new wardrobes, and the act of dancing, strutting and showing each other our new looks might have affected some team members in an unexpected manner. While we all identify as heterosexual, seeing our colleagues’ tight fucking bodies and huge, firm funbags aesthetic choices proved to be a stimulating experience. My recollection of events remains fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure I made out with April and at some point Hannah poured beer over April’s tits and I lapped it up and then sucked on her nipples while I rubbed myself silly and Sophia was filming on her phone so we both put on a show and I’m pretty sure she sent the video so someone but i don’t care encounters of an erotic nature may have taken place.

As each team member has clearly settled on a particular preference regarding their appearance, we have ordered more clothes and toys for the experiment.

We are confident that once our amazing bodies have adapted to the hormone treatment, such incidents will not reoccur. 

NOTE TO SELF: MIA, REMEMBER TO ERASE THE STRICKEN PARTS BEFORE UPLOADING UPDATE!!!

 Observations: Two Weeks Three Weeeks Under the Effects of FHES

So I have to write this to keep you updated because it’s my job and I’m a professional and stuff so ehre it goes. We had like massive tits before but now they are so huge and sensitibe and spectacular and they feel kind of like giant clits so I guess the copm compoud the thing we take to make them grow is also making them feel super good! We tried to take measurements but the tape rubbing against out funbags feels too good and we get distracted and we have to take care of that so we figured we’d just send you some nudes so you can see how much our stupid bimbo tits have expanded (see sexy pics attached) because we are not dumb and pics are better than illustrated numbers anyway. We got a bit carried away with the pics but I hope you’ll enjoy them! In like, a scientific way. Duh.

Reading back I guess I was keeping track of the Pink? I think? It’s hard to understand what I wrote before. So like, the Pink. It’s kinda hard to explain but it feels so fucking good, like we’re all so happy and floating and horny all the time and nothing feels super important anymore except doing whatever feels good at the moment, with whoever or whatever is around. We stopped storing the toys because having them all over the lab is super useful to play with one another or to just bounce on a big dildo looking at the tasty porn on the screens.

Oh shit I forgot to explain the porn thing! So like, we noticed that we can focus on porn a lot better than on boring lab stuff and we’re trying to demn demos prove big boobs don’t make sluts dumb so having porn blasting in every screen means we have something to keep us concentrated and so we’re not dumb because we can keep our attention on stuff. And we can like, really really watch porn. It’s like… we’re not just watching it with our eyes, we’re taking it in with our entire bodies and the Pink makes it so much better because it’s like the porn gets inside us and makes us better and we feel so, so good!

And another thing that proves we may be stupid cunts but we’re not dumb is that we learn really, really fast. We just left the pron running and the site kept showing us video after video after video and we all learned different things and we could put it in practice instantly! Like, April has gotten really into her new goth mommy thing and we saw a video and a girl in it was spanking another girl with a leather paddle and it was super hot but we didn’t have paddles (we ordered them, they should arrive today! Yay!) so April took a clipboard and made Sophia put her hands on the wall and April went to town on her cute bubble butt and it got so red and the rest of us watched and rubbed and drooled and Sophia came from being spanked! She’s becoming such a good slut. She really likes putting her hair in pigtails and wearing like, a sort of schoolgirl uniform with a microskirt and chewing gum and acting like a dumb whore around the lab and it kinda makes all of us want to do bad things to her. We saw a few videos where the cunt was sort of taken by force and Sophia loved them so now she keeps calling herself “good rapebait” and teasing us so we’ll be mean to her and fuck her with a toy or a strap. She cums so fast and screams what a rapedoll she is and begs to be used and abused forever! It’s super hot, so we are almost constantly shoving toys and fingers in her like, really hard.

Also, we have amazing stamina now! I can’t remember when I last slept. My desperate pussy needs me to take care of it all the time.

We’re using the computer labs to show off online, because the porn showed us that all good girls expose their slutty bodies. We’re sad that the webcams don’t look as good as the porn but we’ve ordered new cameras and like, some lights to make every inch of us look amazing. And the people we talk to on random sites are so helpful! They have ideas we never could imagine, and it’s so much easier to just do what they tell us to do and we learn so much doing it! Last night me and Emily spent like an hour just drooling and making out and rubbing each other’s tits in front of the camera because a nice Man told us to and it felt amazing to know he was jerking off his fat cock to us! We didn’t know just obeying Men made cunts feel useful but some Men told us and we did it and they were right! I think it was when April and I were going ass to ass with a double dildo because a Man told us to that I realized how amazing it is not having to choose and just drift in the Pink and be good sluts.

Sometimes they tell us to do hard things, like writing on each other’s bodies. Because our tits are so huge we have a lot of room to put tasty words in, but figuring out the spelling while we rub and lick each other is very, very hard! I can still spell kinda good, but Sophia couldn’t even spell “cumslave” right, so I had to write on Emily even though Sophia was supposed to and I got too excited and fuzzy and maybe some of the videos put thoughts in my head because I ended writing stuff like “mindless fuckdoll” and “brains are for boys” and “bitch in heat” on her instead of just “cumslave”, but the Men online liked that and told me to make myself cum as a reward and I didn’t know Men could just tell girls to cum but when they told me to cum I barely had to rub my cunt before I had like, the best orgasm. Maybe getting permission to cum always feels better? We should do a study on that after this one is done.

It’s funny how much Emily loves to have filthy words written on her body. She always was super shy and she’s so slutty now but she sstill gets all red and flustered and some men like that because it’s clear she likes to be a silly cunt but also she tries not to show it and so having someone writing on her lets her pretend she’s not thinking all those words even though like, we all totally know she’s thinking them and also when she wears a cute little mask she is shameless and so fucking desperate it’s like the mask lets her be her true self. That’s another thign we could study!

Speaking of studies, we kinda didn’t have time to take the test this week but I’m sure we would have aced it for sure. I have to send something in that section of this stupid form so I’m attaching a video of all of us training our throats with dildos, because it shows we can still do tasks so we aren’t dumb. 

Ugh, writing is so boring and I can hear Sophia being fucked behind me and I really want to make her eat me out while another girl makes her ass gape. 

We ordered more clothes and toys because Men deserve choices and we want to be able to be any kind of slut a Man could want. I guess I’ll write more next week.

   

obdertations weak for

i have to write i dont want to write this is so boring my head is to fuzzy and fuuuuck april is licking my pussy under the desk but i dont want to cum because good girls dont cum without permission and no Man told me i could cum but i want to cum so badly but also i dont want to cum because being edged makes me better makes me wetter makes me obey i want to obey i want to be a stupid cumrag forever and ever and get tasty cummies and my tits need to be covered so i can be super pretty

My stupid cow udders are so huge now one load cant cover them i need to be surrounded by cocks and make all of them cum just so i can feel that warm jizz all over them and i know because we tried it we gave the nice Men online the address to the lab and they came hihihi came and came came all over us and inside us and even three cocks cumming on my boobs isnt enough and also sometimes they aim to high and it lands on my face and that feels so amazing and tastes so fucking good but i like it on my sensitive bimbo tits better because theyre like my pussy and they always need more and more and more and there are never enough cocks around to share and we try to be good girls and serve together but we get greedy and end up fighting for the honor of wrosph worp woshi whoreshiping cocks but the Men help us and tell us what to do and whos turn it is and they even gave us a fun way to fight for cock and we have rubbing competitions where we dance and rub and tease and say so many filthy things anf the one that proves shes the more depraved slut gets the cum and i wish i was better because i want to win every time but sometimes another fucking cunt wins and i have to wait

pffff last night sophia did her hole pretending to be innocent thing and called the men daddy and said she would be the bestest girl for them and smiled and flirted and made it seem like she didnt know her skirt was riding up and she had no panties and they used her so much i only got like three loads on my tits and i had to get more Men to come into the lab because its sooo not fair that she got used in all her holes by like, ten guys and i only got three cocks in my tight asshole but in the end more Men came and i really slutted it up and called myself a piece of worthless fuckmeat and a mindless obedient set of holes with huge tits and explained to the Men why girls need to obey and be happy and how fenminism is boring and maybe us girls would be better off without rights and they liked that and they really liked it when they found out i have a PHD an stuff so in the end i got used lots so I was useful and it was a good night

Clothes are all over the floor and the desks but we need more because there are so many ways to be a cute slut and we want to please everyone and become anything they want us to be and do anything they want us to do and i tried ordering more clothes but i got confused but a Man ordered for us so they should be arriving soon and fuck we cant stop rubbing and licking each other imagining all the sexy stuff we’ll get to wear and also the new camera is so good and we look just like the girls in porn and i guess we are pron now because we keep filming or letting Men film us and they upload everything and people like it lots and i think about everyone jerking off to us and its the best feeling in the world knowing i dont have to be there to make a cock cum, i can be useful forever because the videos will always be around fuuuuuck i almost came April got sooo good at eating pussy but i don’t want to cum i really want to cum i 

I dont remeber how to ttach stuff but ill get a Man to put the best videos on the file so yall can see what good girls we are now and maybe you can cum to us please cum to us please rub your pussies and play with your cocks looking at us we want to make you happy and horny like we are i wish everyone could feel the Pink its so good and fuzzy and warm and makes people giggle and fuck nd be so happy maybe everyone should take what we take and grow big boobs and sink into the Pink I wonder if men get huge cocks from it that woud be amazing like giant cocks that cum buckets fuccccccc i dont wanna{p´.k

Fuck i came so hard but im still so fucking horny it’s never enough i need more i need to please i exist to please obeying makes me feel so good an cum makes me so pretty and i dont remember how i lived before because this feels like its who ive always been like its just right and natural and good but i started writin for a reason and i can’t figure out what it was i have to tell April to stop eating me out and find out what im supposed to rite 

Oh, duh! A Man said big boobs make girls dumb. And that’s a dumb thing to believe. But I have massive tits and I’m dumb so I guess I believe him because dumb feels good so I’ll believe any dumb thing a Man tells me!

EDITOR’S NOTE: This document is being published without edits or corrections at the request of Prof. Lawson. Given that the express intent of this “paper” is to disprove his theories, we felt it fair to show the resulting work unaltered.

Prof. Mia West has retired from Academia. She and her team seem determined to continue in the adult industry. The Northwestern Journal of Science has reached out to Prof. West, who requested readers to “log into the sites and cum yourselves silly to our stupid bimbo bodies”.

As far as we can ascertain, every one of the mentioned videos is available for free. It is unknown who obtains the ad revenue or funds the team; however, given the noticeable increase in production value in newer installments, as well as the establishment of what has been christened the “Slut House” to film, we must assume someone is managing the team’s career.

On an unrelated note, we’re delighted to announce Prof. Lawson’s new seminar, “Video Production, Marketing and Monetization in the Digital Age”, to take place this Fall.  

Did you enjoy this story? You can support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu

[stardust-swan]

Everyday Ways I Honour Aphrodite

(NSFW warning)

🌹Roses, roses, roses. Rose soap, rose lip balm, rose hand cream, rose lotion, rose perfume, rose oil on my pillow before falling asleep, rose candles, rose incense, roses in my garden, rosewater toner, rose face mist, rose shower gel, dried roses in the bath... Just roses everywhere you can fit them.

🌹Reading romantic books and poetry, watching romance films

🌹 Reading books and poetry about Aphrodite

🌹Making myself feel beautiful with pretty jewellery and makeup. Even just a swipe of tinted lip balm boosts my confidence (I use French Girl Rose Noir). I try to wear at least a little bit of makeup or jewellery daily, even if it's just a pair of studs or a subtle lipstick

🌹 Even if I'm just staying at home all day I'll spray perfume and put on jewellery and do lipstick just to feel sensual while I'm lounging around playing Animal Crossing (currently wearing a comfy embroidered nightie, small gold hoops, a pretty bracelet and a little bit of YSL Orange Perfecto lipstick as I write this)

🌹 Embracing my sensuality. Swaying my hips, feeling the softness of my body, dancing freely, engaging in self-pleasure, taking nudes, trying to unlearn the shame associated with sexuality from my upbringing. I don't watch porn often as I find most of it unhealthy and misogynistic (I only like this one random Japanese couple's channel and some vintage and Korean softcore), but I enjoy toys (my favourite is the rose), erotic literature, erotic film, audio porn (usually in other languages because I find a lot of dirty talk just makes me cringe but I still get enjoyment out of hearing little moans and silky low voices so I get that and avoid secondhand embarrassment from bad dirty talk by listening to it in languages I don't understand), and erotic fine art.

🌹 I try to get really comfortable when I'm engaged in self love. Lipstick and perfume on, hair styled, lingerie or nightie that makes me feel sexy, a candle lit or rose, ylang ylang and jasmine oil in my diffuser, soft music playing. Then I'll position myself comfortably, and stroke my thighs, tease my nipples, squeeze my breasts, lick my juices off my fingers and use it like a lipstick, painting my lips and nipples or using it to lightly lubricate my clitoris. Running my hands all over my belly, thighs and breasts, experimenting with different types of pressure and stimulation. Just luxuriating in the sensual feelings I can bring to my beautiful female body.

🌹 Wearing jewellery with seashells, pearls, emerald, ruby, bronze, copper, gold, jade, garnet and iridescent beads

🌹 Enjoying apples, honey, figs, pomegranates, strawberries, raspberries, olives, lettuce, rosewater and chocolate. I like buying Guylian chocolates as they're seashell shaped, but any chocolate will do (my favourite chocolate bar to buy is white chocolate with strawberries). I also like foods that you can taste the rosewater in like rose macarons and Turkish delight.

🌹 Making foods with ingredients she likes, like honey cakes, Persian rose love spell cookies, rosewater nougat, Persian love cake, baklava, cornes de gazelle, mhencha, etc... I mostly stick to Mediterranean, North African, Arab and Persian recipes, as they commonly use ingredients like rosewater, honey, pomegranates, and figs.

🌹 Carrying rose quartz in my pocket and keeping rose quartz under my pillow

🌹 I use a rose quartz roller to massage oil into my face

🌹 I keep a mini Venus de Milo statue and a swan trinket box on my bedside table

🌹 Drinking a drink made up of honey, cinnamon, milk and hot water at night to relax

🌹 Wearing pretty lingerie under my clothes, even if it's a basic outfit

🌹 I often fall asleep to the sound of ocean waves

🌹 Gold highlighter swept on my cheeks and body shimmer on my collarbones, reflecting light like sun rays on the ocean

🌹 Doing little offerings, like spritzing her statue with perfume, or offering up a portion of food I'm eating that I think she'd like

🌹 Lighting incense in scents like myrrh, frankincense, rose, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger and jasmine

🌹 Drawing myself relaxing baths with fragrant oils and salts

🌹 Reading hymns, Sappho's poetry, and listening to Athanati Afroditi

🌹 Listening to music that's romantic or sensual (this is my playlist)

🌹 Carrying a hand mirror and admiring myself as I check my makeup

🌹 Adding honey to tea

🌹 Writing letters and poetry about love and beauty

🌹Admiring women I find beautiful without jealousy or resentment, just appreciation

🌹Using these emojis: 🌹🦢🌊🪞🍎❤️💘💗💕💋🕊️🫒💄

🌹 Wearing pink, red, aqua, and seafoam green

🌹 Being consistent in self care. No matter how low my spoons are, unless I'm so dog-tired I end up falling asleep on the couch at 8pm, I force myself to do my evening skincare routine - cleansing, toning, eye cream, moisturiser, oil. And I always feel better for it even if I was exhausted before. Much smaller but I'm also consistent in oiling the ends of my hair daily and spraying perfume before bed. And I keep up with getting my hair done and brows waxed every three months without fail.

🌹 Doing exercises that make me feel sensual. I'm really lazy tbh but I push myself because I know Aphrodite would want me to take care of my body. I pick exercises that make me feel good and desirable, like yoga flow, belly dance, and exercises that target my womanly attributes.

🌹 Giving compliments!

🌹 Doing a big self care day every Friday (the day associated with her). Hot oil hair treatment, foot soak and exfoliation, removing old nail polish and buffing and filing nails, face mask, teeth whitening....

🌹 Going to the pond in winter and admiring the swans

🌹 Going to an art gallery in my city just to look at the painting Venus and Cupid (Day) by Fragonard

🌹 Sleeping on silk sheets as they feel sensual (they're also good for your hair and skin)

🌹 Making my own diffusers and cosmetics from natural, aphrodisiac products. Homemade bath salt with rose petals and pink salt, homemade lip mask with olive oil and rose oil, and adding oil of rose, jasmine, sandalwood, and cinnamon to a diffuser as I find these scents stimulating and sensual.

🌹 And of course, thanking Lady Aphrodite every day.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Speech Development

Several stages of development have been distinguished in the first year, when the child develops the skills necessary to produce a successful first word.

FIRST 2 MONTHS

Apart from the cry patterns associated with hunger, pain, and discomfort, the first 2 months of life display a wide range of primitive vocal sounds reflecting the baby’s biological state and activities – as in the ‘vegetative’ noises heard while eating and excreting.

Some of the most basic features of speech, such as the ability to control air flow and produce rhythmic utterance, are being established at this time.

BETWEEN 6 & 8 WEEKS

There emerge the sounds generally known as cooing, produced when the baby is in a settled state.

Cooing sounds do not grow out of crying; rather, they develop alongside it, gradually becoming more frequent and varied.

They are quieter, lowerpitched, and more musical, typically consisting of a short vowel-like sound, often nasal in quality, and usually preceded by a consonant-like sound made towards the back of the mouth.

Strings of cooing noises soon emerge, and the sounds become more varied, as the baby begins to develop a greater measure of control over the muscles of the vocal organs – especially over tongue and lip movements and associated vocal-fold vibration.

BETWEEN 3 & 4 MONTHS

Cooing sounds begin to die away, to be replaced by sounds which are much more definite and controlled, often repeated, and produced with wide pitch glides.

It is a period commonly called vocal play, because the baby seems to take great pleasure in producing these noises, especially those made with the lips.

But it is perhaps more accurate to call it a time of vocal practice or experimentation.

AROUND 6 MONTHS

Vocal play gives way to babbling – a period of syllable sequences and repetitions which can last most of the second half of the first year.

To begin with, the consonant-like sounds are very repetitive:

Example: "babababa"

But at around 9 months, the babbling moves away from these fixed patterns.

The consonants and vowels change from one syllable to the next, producing such forms as [adu] and [maba], and there is a wider range of sounds, anticipating the sounds of the accent of English to be learned.

The utterances do not have any meaning, though they often resemble adult words – and of course adults love to ‘hear’ such words (especially mummy and daddy) in the baby’s vocalizations.

But babbling does not gradually shade into speech; indeed, many children continue to babble for several months after they have begun to talk.

Babbling is perhaps best summarized as a final step in the period of preparation for speech.

The child, in effect, ‘gets its act together’; but it has yet to learn what the act is for – that sounds are there to enable meaning to be communicated in a controlled way.

With the production of the ‘first word’, this final step is taken.

NOTE

However, the first word is not the first feature of adult language to be acquired.

From as early as 6 months, there is evidence that the child is picking up features of the melody and rhythm of the adult language.

Certainly by 9 months, strings of syllables are often being pronounced in conversation-like ways which adults interpret as communicative:

‘He/ she’s trying to tell us something’ is a common reaction to a piece of ‘scribble-talk’, and such speech-act functions as questioning, commanding, and greeting are ascribed to babbled utterances.

The melody and rhythm of often-used phrases, such as "all gone", are also likely to be heard long before the vowels and consonants are clearly articulated.

It is these prosodic features which are the first signs of real language production in children.

Prosody - the linguistic use of pitch, loudness, tempo, and rhythm; the study of versification

Source ⚜ Notes & References More: Children ⚜ Children's Dialogue ⚜ Childhood Bilingualism

[cripplecharacters]

Do you have tangible advice on *how* to research different disabilities for writing? How to find specific blogs beyond searching the name of the disability on Tumblr, forums, websites with good info, etc? I see a lot of advice that is basically just "research the disability and talk to people who have it" but with how Google has gone down in quality, I'm not sure where to look beyond the surface level info (plus how to find people with the disability who are willing to share niche details/answer really specific situational questions). Thank you for everything you do on this blog!

Hey!

I'd say that you should break the research process into a few steps.

First, figure out what you should actually look into. Think about the genre, intended audience, and role of the character. A background character in a comedy meant for elementary school kids and a main character in an adult romantic novel will have two different approaches. You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) overdo a character that doesn't need it - otherwise it can end up feeling like some sort of disability awareness PSA, and that's probably not what you want.

With that in mind, you can start the actual research. I think that the websites of organizations/foundations for people with that specific disabilities are the best, since they cover a lot of things from many different angles. They are also usually written in simpler language than medical websites (which are also great, but I get that not everyone can understand those, not everyone's fluent in English, etc.) and have more tangible advice for "how to function with XYZ" essentially. It also can give you a glimpse of what your character could specifically struggle with, especially in case of a recent disability - medical pages often won't talk about insurance problems, interpersonal issues, or actually coping with the new state one's body is in. Check the FAQs, or the most commonly visited pages, stuff like that to get an idea on what's important. For example, these are some of the most concise explanations of how someone with a complete spinal cord injury at a specific level might function and what they might need. Something like this can be a good start to figure out where your characters "is", so to speak.

Some organizations for common disabilities might also have some sort of "media representation" page that's made specifically for writers. UK's Down Syndrome Association has one, Face Equality International has one, Phoenix Society has one, US Foundation for the Blind has one, etc.

This alone is more research than the vast majority of writers bother to do. If you actually understand:

what the disability is,

what symptoms it has,

how those affect your character in day-to-day life,

how to avoid the most common offensive stereotypes,

you are doing better than a lot of published writers, to be honest.

Okay, but what can you do to make it even better:

Since at this step you know what symptoms your character has and which ones you will actually show to the audience, you can start researching them one by one.

Here you might have to go read some medical studies, and learning how to get information out of those is a skill that needs some practice. But it is necessary to figure out if your blind character's vision loss is more likely to be total with no light perception or 20/200 (and, to figure out if your character's eye condition even causes blindness... because I've seen "blind characters" who are blind from eye conditions that... do not cause vision loss) so that you can actually research appropriate accommodations or aids.

Knowing specific symptoms will be even more helpful if your character's disability isn't very common - symptoms are very rarely tied to just a single disability, and you might have more luck researching a completely different one. For example, if you can't find info on something related to being a unilateral arm amputee, try searching for solutions that hemiplegics use. Not all will apply, but a lot of this stuff will be the same.

Make sure you understand what you do or don't do with those symptoms. There might be treatments, there might be some lifestyle changes to be done, there might be some strict limitation that you will have to put on your character for them to make sense. I think it's better to fit the character concept to the symptoms that you want and not the other way around - if you do the latter, you might find yourself writing an essentially abled character or a disabled character that is just inconsistent. Not every disability will be compatible with every role or concept, and there's really no point in trying to put us literally everywhere. If you really can't find a solution for something you need the character to do, it might mean that there just isn't one.

Once you figure out the technical stuff and have all the "dry" information laid out, start seeking the real life equivalents. Start widely at first so that you can narrow it down later, not the other way around (unless you don't mind changing the character around a lot). If you have already done a lot of technical research before, you will have more specific questions (which are easier to answer than "how do I write a disabled character").

Look up daily vlogs and day-in-a-life videos on youtube from people with that disability (and don't be afraid of only very-low views count videos popping up as that's almost inevitable - there are very few big disability youtubers, so try giving the smaller ones a chance). Watch interviews where people with that condition explain how their daily life is, how their disability affects it. SBSK is one of the best IMO. Check out AMAs on Reddit. Read personal blogs (you can generally find some by just putting "living with Name of Disability blog" into search). There's a ton of people who sincerely want to help others understand the realities of living with their disability and name their stuff accordingly so that it's easy to find.

At this stage you should have a decent idea of how the disability affects your character both in the technical sense, and in the more practical one.

Try to write out their average daily routine - from how they get up in the morning to when they go to sleep. Try to actively think "how would they do it" - how would they get from their bed and into their wheelchair, how would they dress up, how would they commute to work, how would they communicate with others, how would they get from point A to point B. If you realize that you're suddenly stuck, you now have a specific question ("how to put on pants with no hands", "how do totally blind people use computers", "shower accommodations C5 SCI", whatever) which is much easier to research than just a vague awareness of Not Knowing how your character functions in general. All of these questions have been asked before - newly disabled people will be going through them in their real life, and they use the same search engines and same social media as everyone else.

If you get this far, you're doing quite great! I'd say that this is enough effort to make a good and complex disabled character that's important in the story, though maybe not the POV character.

For a POV character, if you aren't disabled, you probably need a sensitivity reader/consultant.

There are a lot of those in writing spaces already - a lot of disabled people write themselves. If you just drop a "I need a sensitivity reader for XYZ" and use the general writing tags, there's a high chance you will get a response (assuming the XYZ in question isn't something very rare and/or so severe it would prevent someone from using the internet in general).

You can also try the disability's tag (don't get discouraged if it's not used a lot, a lot of people lurk without posting anything themselves) since you're looking for a real person and intending to pay them (very different from abled writers randomly posting their blorbos in disability tags).

Some of the places where you can try looking are r/SensitivityReaders, WritingDiversely, FireflyCreativeWriting, even sites like Fiverr could work. I've also heard some good things about Facebook writing groups, but I don't have any personal experience with them.

You can also always reach out to an association for people with the kind of disability you need - tell them that you are a writer and are looking to pay a sensitivity reader to help you, and they might be able to refer you to someone who would like to do that.

Another thing would be to keep intersectionality in mind - if your character is disabled, but otherwise part of the majority in every other sense (in NA or most of EU: white, rich, Christian, cisgender, straight, non-immigrant), you will have less things to consider than if your character has the same disability but is also a Polynesian transgender immigrant. If any intersectionality is particularly important to what you're writing, you should include that as well (you can also work with multiple sensitivity readers to try and get as close as possible).

My last advice is to only seek out sensitivity readers if you're able to pay them a fair amount for their work. Don't ask people to work for you for free (which is probably obvious, but a ton of fanfic and whump writers on Tumblr seem completely unaware of this).

Technical tips:

For specifically avoiding AI slop, I recommend putting [before:2023] after whatever question you put in, it will filter all results made after 2022, eliminating 99% of AI nonsense (works for images too).

If you're constantly getting a specific kind of wrong result, use [-ThingYouDon'tWant] after the input, it will remove everything that contains it.

If you're not getting a specific result, put the word you need in quotes ["Word You Need"] and it will force only the results who use that specific phrase/term to appear.

So if you're trying to find a blog about living with quadriplegic cerebral palsy as an adult and can't find any relevant searches by putting just that into the search, try ["cerebral palsy" "blog" quadriplegic -parents -spinal -SCI] and you should get more relevant stuff.

That's how I generally try to approach research for writing and I would say I've had good results (including now). Researching is a skill that requires practice unfortunately, at some point you can simply tell when a resource is bad or good since you've looked at so many already.

Follower input is welcome and encouraged :-)

mod Sasza

[iwillstabyou]

TMAGP 31 - A Computer Nerd’s Breakdown Of The Error Logs

It’s round 3, bitches! (tumblr crashed twice when I was writing this so I’ve had to start again multiple times. I do in fact see the irony, considering the subject matter)

I was listening to TMAGP 31 and as a computer nerd, oh my god those error messages just HIT DIFFERENT. There are so many subtle details hiding in those lines that a typical non-computery person would probably miss, so I feel it is my duty to explain them and their possible implications. So that’s why I’ve decided to fully break down each part of the error report, complete with what they could potentially suggest — think of this as “the TMAGP theorist’s guide to deciphering Chester’s yapping”

So without further ado, let’s get this party started…

(NOTE: lines from the transcript are in red, ‘translations’ are in purple, jmj specific stuff is is green, explanations are in black)

Starting off with Category: fatal programmer error, notice it says programmer, not program. There is nothing wrong with the code - the user has truly fucked up. Uh oh, Colin has made a big mistake…

Also, clever double meaning here with the word fatal. Obviously we know it was fatal to Colin (RIP king 🥲), but error logs also typically have a criticality level describing if immediate action needs to be taken. There are 6 commonly used levels, with the most critical being, yep you guessed it, ‘fatal’ - this means that whatever Colin was doing was a critical threat to the system. In other words, Colin had figured out the problem and was dangerously close to fixing it so Freddie just went “oh shit, we need to deal with this guy quickly or we are in serious trouble.”

Then we’ve got the next line, attempted host compromise (the Errno611 isn’t significant - error codes vary from system to system). When it comes to network terminology, a host is basically just any device on the network, so in full this line basically means “somebody’s tried to damage part of the network.” Importantly, “host” seems to suggest that the computers aren’t the source of this evil but merely a vessel for it. Freddie is just the mouthpiece for these supernatural forces - a bit like a non-sentient (as far as we know…) avatar. Whatever these forces are, they didn’t come from within/they weren’t created by Freddie.

(NOTE: I will come back to jmj=null in a bit)

The program traceback, Traceback <module> by extension BECHER, is rather interesting. A network extension is a way of providing network access to remote users (think along the lines of a VPN) by creating a personal direct ‘route’ to the network. Therefore if it’s the subject of an error report, it means there’s been an issue with data transmission along that path. So this bit means “there’s a problem with this specific network route that’s allocated to Colin.” However, the darker implication here is that Colin is an extension of Freddie. Although he wasn’t initially a part of all of this, he’s become tangled in the web (no pun intended) to the point that he and Freddie are inseparably intertwined. The OIAR employees may be able to quit their jobs, but they’ll still be a part of Freddie…

There isn’t much to say about Host=self.host in this context. It’s just convention when it comes to object oriented programming. Not important here.

Extension BECHER compromised isn’t just saying “there’s an issue here.” It’s saying “there’s an issue here that is a serious threat to network operation.” In other words, Freddie’s going “uh oh. Colin needs to be dealt with.”

The next bit is pretty self explanatory. I really don’t think I need to explain what <hardware damage_crowbar> means for you guys to understand. This bit made me laugh so hard. One thing that’s interesting though is that it gave it a DPHW, so Freddie processed this like it was an incident… Perhaps this fully confirms that the ‘thing’ controlling Freddie is of the same origin as the cases - it’s not something else entirely?

And now onto Administrator privilege revoked. This was the moment when I fully realised “oh no. Colin is fucked,” because any control that Colin may have had over the situation is now gone for good. Freddie’s basically just said “fuck you Colin. You’re not in charge anymore. I am.”

As you can probably guess, Unexpected data isolated/resolved just means that the crowbar’s been dealt with and the program can run as usual. Similarly, the Colin threat is fixed now he’s not an administrator i.e. he can no longer control the system. However, it then gets weird with Independent operation permissions revoked… It’s not saying Colin can’t use the network independently, it’s saying that Colin can’t be used independently of the network. Remember what I was saying earlier about Colin being a part of Freddie? Yeah, well now he purely is a part of Freddie. They’re turning our boy into data!

NOTE: I know in the audio it said everything was discarded but I’m going by the transcript. Idk why they’re different

You know it’s a bad sign when you hear Re config: self.host - Freddie’s evolving. The network is literally reconfiguring itself to now include Colin. And then Freddie goes through each of his alchemical elements one by one and fucking deletes them! How rude. You go and eat this man only to spit everything out!? I guess he’s feeling generous though, because he decides to keep the sulphur, which in alchemy, refers to the soul… If this isn’t just a coincidence, then that means Colin’s actual soul has been uploaded to Freddie. That could be really cool. And messed up. But mostly cool.

Starting with the final line, everyone knows what New administrator permissions assigned means, but we don’t know yet who they’ve been assigned to. Maybe it’s Gwen? Maybe it’s a new character? Maybe there is no system administrator anymore? It’s a mystery.

Now that’s out the way, let’s get on to the real juicy stuff…

The top few lines are pretty simple - it’s Freddie’s way of saying “Colin was a problem. We ate him. Now he’s not a problem anymore.” The next line, however, is a reminder that none of this is simple” - .jmj error not resolved. There it is again. The infamous jmj error. What does it mean? Jon? Martin? Jonah? Is that you???? Nobody knows. One thing we do know though is that jmj=null (from the start of the error log). Now when it comes to interpreting values, null is weird. It’s not zero, it’s not empty, it’s sort of nothing but it’s not nothing. It’s just null. It means no value, but it doesn’t mean that the variable doesn’t have a value (if that makes any sense to you guys???). Ooh I think I know how to explain it?? Imagine you’re Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute and you’re digitising some archived ID photos when you find one without a name. The recorded name in the database would be null - you can’t put anything in particular, but that doesn’t mean the person in the photo doesn’t have a name. I guess null means unknown or missing here. So basically, what jmj=null means is that the jmj is unknown and that is a problem because it can’t get ignored/it is important. So what it’s basically saying is that jmj is a mystery not only to us, but also to Freddie.

Take a look at Data integration cycle ongoing <0.02%> - Data integration is the process of combining data from multiple sources into a single source of truth. There are 4 stages: data ingestion, cleaning, transformation, and unification. Thanks to the whole Colin ordeal, I’m sure you are all quite familiar with these stages by now (and that, students, is what we call a case study!). The peculiar thing here though is that we’ve just witnessed most of the data integration cycle - surely it should be higher than 0.02%? Yes, that’s correct. It should be far higher than that. It makes no sense. UNLESS this isn’t about Colin. Most of Colin’s data has probably already integrated. This is something else entirely - something so much bigger and foreign than these computers were designed for (the only comparison I can think of is trying to run the sims 4 with all expansion packs on a 15 year old laptop. It really shouldn’t work, and it probably won’t, but it’s gonna try regardless). This seems to follow on nicely from the jmj=null comments above, because Freddie is clearly struggling to integrate something (hence System function margins down to 82%), and when you try to read data that hasn’t been fully integrated with the system, you end up with a lot of missing & unknown values. Sound familiar? Yep, that’s right - until more data is synchronised, many values will be null, like our good friend jmj. Why is it taking so long to integrate jmj? We don’t know. Perhaps its origins are so supernatural and otherworldly that it’s simply not tangible enough for Freddie to process it? That’s what I think at the moment, at least.

So yeah, that’s my line by line analysis done! Hope you found that helpful/interesting. This podcast is so well written I’m actually going insane! Jonny and Alex, you are the guys of all time! As I’ve already said, feel free to expand on any of this - I’d love to hear your theories

Signed, your friendly neighbourhood computer nerd who is very autistic about TMAGP :)

[cepheusgalaxy]

"So, you wanna make them ace?"

Asexuality 101: Making your characters asexual

Indroduction: Ok, so, from what I've seen in fandom and in general, most people don't really know how to write an asexual character. Many just quit it and make them allosexual, others just struggle their way without having much of a guide. Prime example is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, whom many people want to involve in sexual scenarios so they go with the "asexuality is a spectrum" route. Problem is, they don't understand how asexuality is a spectrum exactly and then they just end up writing their characters as allo. Now, how to avoid this? Teaching them!

If you're looking for a good way to get started with your own asexual oc, an ace headcanon or a media charater, I've got you! (i mention sex briefly here in some parts)

My credentials: I'm ace.

The basics

What is asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is generally defined by the lack of sexual attraction, or a very little amount of it. Sexual attraction is many times confused with libido, which is the sexual desire. Sexual attraction is more accurately, "the desire of having sex with this specific person." Therefore, some ace people do have a libido, and do want to have sex, but mostly are just not attracted to a person.

Myths and misconceptions

Asexuals can't have sex - as many shippers say, "asexuality is a spectrum", and while some aces don't have sex indeed, they can want it and have it as well. Person to person scenario

Asexuals don't know nothing about sex - unless the ace in question is a child, they probably may know, in fact, a lot. Many ace people like reading, watching or consuming smut, and by this and other means, even if they don't have sex themselves, they pretty much know how it is and how it works. Sex is everywhere, after all. Hard to miss

Asexuality is caused by trauma - it can be! Just not always, and most aces are simply born this way

Asexuality is a medical condition - much like homosexuality, asexuality is frequently treated as an illnes and many ace people are forced into conversion therapy. Some people also hold the belief that asexuality is caused by an anormality in a person's hormones, a mental illness, etc. But it is not true! Asexual people can obviously also be mentally ill in some way, but these are different things. It is just a sexual orientation like any other!

Asexuality is caused by HRT - hormone replacement therapy, ie. taking testosterone or estrogen, is one of the most common type of medical transition for trans people. Some hold the belief that taking hormones like those can "break" your sexuality (estrogen does sometimes decrease a person's libido, but it depends on the person's organism and it doesn't take your sexual attraction away from you), and turn you asexual

Asexuality is caused by autism - this myth may be originated from the fact that many autistic people are in fact asexual, or by the fact that both asexuals and autistic people tend to be infantilized a lot. However, as much as autistic people are very commonly also ace, asexuality is not, in fact, a symptom of autism

Basic terminology

Ace - short for "asexual".

Aro - short for "aromantic"; someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, aka typically "doesn't fall in love".

Allo - somebody who does experience attraction. "Allosexual" is someone who is not asexual, and "alloromantic" is someone who is not aromantic.

Aspec - short for "a-spectrum". The a-spectrum is an umbrella term for anyone who is in any way ace, aro, aplatonic, afamilial, or other identities that fit here.

Acespec - short for "asexual spectrum/ace spectrum". It's a part of the a-spectrum and contemplates all asexuality.

Aesthetic attraction - finding someone pretty or beatiful, without necessarily wanting to have sex with them. Many ace people who didn't know they were ace report to having used to mistake it with sexual attraction.

Sensual attraction - similar to sexual attraction; the desire to touch someone, but without wanting to actuall have sex with them. Many ace people also confused this with sexual attraction.

Aphobia - discrimination against aspec people.

Amatonormativity- the belief that everybody is happier in a relationship, wether they want it or not, and should want and seek to be in one, and the general root of aphobia.

The Split Attraction Model

If you are looking on the ace community for a while, you might have heard of the split attraction model--if you haven't, here it is:

Image description: The Split Attraction Model, a cross chart inside a square, with four ends. The first end of the cross is labelled "ace", its opposite is labelled as "alloce", the third end is labelled as "alloro" and it's opposite is labelled as "aro". The section on the "alloro" and "ace" square is labelled "alloromantic asexual", the section in the "ace" and "aro" part is labelled "aromantic asexual", the section on the "alloro" and "alloce" square is labelled as "alloromantic allosexual" and the section on the "aro" and "alloce" section is labelled "aromantic allosexual". /end ID.

The split attraction model divides all orientations in four groups: The aroaces, the aroallos, the alloaces and the alloallos. It is usually shortened to "SAM".

Many people find this model useful, because it sorts your attraction into two groups: allo- and a-, and yes and no. It's simple and easy.

Many aces do not use this model to explain their attraction/lack thereof though! Hence the first distinction of aces we have here: SAM-aces and non-SAM-aces. Basically aces who use the Split Attraction Model and aces who prefer not to!

A non-SAM ace may define their asexuality as their romantic orientation as well, or label themselves differently altogether. While a SAM ace could call themselves an "asexual aromantic" or an "asexual alloromantic", a non-SAM ace could call themselves just "an asexual". In this case, they can be neither "alloro" nor "aro".

If your character is aware of their sexuality and identifies as ace, it's good to know wether they use the Split Attraction Model for themselves or not.

The spectrum

You may have heard that "asexuality is a spectrum" a thousand times, but what does it mean?

Just like "non-binary", "asexual" can be an identity on its own, but it is actually an umbrella term for a bunch of orientations. When we say that it is a spectrum, we are saying that there is Nuance. "Ace who doesn't date", "ace who dates", "ace who experiences just a little bit of sexual attraction", "aces who like sex" and so on. 'But Angel', you ask me, 'didn't you say that asexuality is when people don't have sexual attraction?' It can be! But there IS nuance, and that's what I am here to tell you.

There are two more factors beyond the SAM that you can consider:

"Are they sex repulsed, sex favorable, or sex neutral?"

Here is the "aces can still have sex" thing. A sex repulsed ace is probably what the majority of people think when they hear "asexual". It is an ace person who doesn't like sex. Doesn't want to have it, is disgusted by it, despises sexual intimacy, etc. They are the aces who tipically just don't want to have sex, and are very happy without it.

A sex favorable asexual is someone who likes it. Sure, they don't feel sexual attraction, but who's letting it stop them, right? They like sexual acts, they are fine and happy with having sex in general, and that's what the "aces can still have sex" point means. Yes, they can, if they want to! Maybe your character themself doesn't define themselves as neither repulsed nor favorable, but it's good to know what their instance on sex is.

Sex neutral asexuals are aces who are not repulsed by it, but are not really into it either. They may have sex, they may be fine with it, they may like it even, but they generally don't have a desire or strong feelings regarding it. It's just sex, after all.

Sex ambivalent asexuals are another thing I want to touch on. They are tipically aces whose instance on sex changes! Sometimes they may feel repulsed by it, sometimes they may want it, sometimes they may not care. They are neither strictly one, nor another. Their feelings change!

It's good to see where in this categorization your character or blorbo would be.

Inside the asexual spectrum, where do they stand?

If I were to represent the ace spectrum as a linear thing, I'd do it like this:

Image description: A linear representation of the asexual spectrum, in the shape of an arch. In one end, it is written "asexual", on the other, it is written "allosexual" and on the very middle, at the top of the arch, it is written "gray-asexual". /end ID.

or like this:

Image description: Another linear representation of the asexual spectrum. One of the ends is a black circle and the other is a white circle. Between them, a gradient goes from one circle to another, passing through different shades of gray. The black end is labelled as "asexual", the white end is labelled as "allosexual", and the gradient with shades of gray is labelled "different kinds of Gray-As". /end ID.

What is graysexual, you ask me? We all know that the world is not black-and-white, and as so, sexuality is also not. Grayace is a term for a person that is also asexual, but not strictly: that is, they are the "feels a little of sexual attraction" part of the spectrum. It is called like that because when we put asexual and allosexual in two ends of a spectrum, graysexuality stands in this gray area.

Gray sexuals may:

Experience sexual attraction only sometimes

Experience light sexual attraction

Experience sexual attraction under certain conditions in certain scenarios, for example, when they are already very intimate with a certain person

And many more! Graysexuality is on itself a spectrum, but having an idea of allosexual -> graysexual -> strictly asexual is already a good guide. Graysexuality can also be described as "having partial sexual attraction".

Fun fact about gray-aces: The asexual flag has four stripes; purple, white, gray and black. The purple stripe is meant to be a color signifier of the community, the white means allosexual, the gray means the gray aces and the black stripe represents people with strictly no sexual attraction. Hence the term "black stripe asexual" (which is not very popular but I personally like).

Micro-labels

You already have a basic understanding of the asexual spectrum and how it works, so you can think on where exactly in the spectrum your character/blorbo is. To help you out further, I present you the microlabels! Much like non binary is an umbrella term with many microlabels like genderqueer, xenogender and demigender, that help one explain their identity with more and more specific explanations, asexuals also have a lot of microlabels! Here are some:

Cupiosexual - asexual person that wishes to have a sexual relationship (example: i am cupioromantic person and i am basically a hopeless romantic and a yearner. cupiosexuality is similar, but with sex)

Gray sexual - asexual person with partial sexual attraction

Demisexual - asexual person who can only be attracted to people they already have a bond with

Abrosexual - person whose sexuality is fluid, and may be asexual at one time, bisexual at another, gay at another, etc.

Aceflux - asexual person whose sexuality changes, like abrosexual, but only between asexual identities

Aegosexual - asexual person who likes the idea of sex or fantasises about it, as long as it doesn't envolve them

Lythosexual - asexual person who is only sexually attracted to people they are not close with, and their sexual attraction fades out once the become closer

Myrsexual - asexual person that uses multiple asexual identities to describe their sexuality

Aroace - aromantic asexual person

Alloace - alloromantic asexual person

Apothisexual - sex-repulsed asexual person

These are not all micro labels in the asexual spectrum, but they are quite a lot. Maybe even if your charater is not sure if they are in a certain label or not, you may find them in some of these descriptions.

Links to resources with more microlabels: Tumblr post by @aroacesafeplaceforall (no images) /

/ A slightly longer list on asexuals.net (undescribed flags) /

/ Another guide for microlabels on lgbtqia.fandom.com (undescribed flags)

Bonus questions

Is it okay if I make my asexual character autistic? Is it not stereotyping? Yes, it's okay. There are actual asexual autistic people, and I'm sure they'd love to get represented as well!

Is it okay if I make my asexual character have sex? Is it not erasure? Yes, you can do that too! As long as it is where they stand in the spectrum (as explained in the topics above), you are doing a good thing by representing sex-favorable asexuals.

Do I have to make a romantic orientation for them too? No. Your character may be a non-sam ace, and identify as ace alone!

I heard that it is erasure if I make smut fanfic of ace character X. I don't get it how! While it is true many ace people have sex, many people when writing that just ignore their sexuality when writing/drawing smut of them! The spectrum is wide, so when you are doing that, remember where they stand on it.

Why can't I headcanon this ace character as allosexual? I headcanon straight characters as gay/bi/pan all the time and nobody says it's wrong! If people don't like my headcanon why can't they just look away? Because asexual people are a marginalized group, unlike straight people, so it is as okay to make them allo as it is to take an asian or black or jewish character and make them white. Because it is not just an individual headcanon; it's a part of a much bigger problem, and by avoiding headcanoning ace characters as allo, you are confronting your own internalized aphobia, which is a good thing! If you still want to make them have sex, well, that's what I made this guide for! So you can make them have sex as you wish without erasing their identity.

I am ace and am basing myself or my own experiences here. Is it okay if I...? The answer is generally yes. If you wanna write about a different ace experience than your own, a little bit of research won't hurt, though!

Is this enough for me to write my ace character? It is a start. This is a general guide, and there are some things I haven't touched on this guide (like aphobia) so I'd advice you to do more in-depth research on topics you want to focus more on, but this should get you pretty far.

Extra

"Is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel canonically ace or aroace?" (slightly related, because some people looking for this guide to write this guy might want to know this too)

Answer: link to a post clearing this up this with some sources. Short answer though, is that he is confirmed to be ace, not aroace.

"If I didn't understand something here, or I have more questions, can I ask you?"

Answer: Yes! You can reblog this post with questions, and my inbox is also open, and I make sure to always let anon on. I will be happy to help if I can.

"One of the image descriptions on this post was off or confusing, can you change it to X so it is better to understand it?"

Answer: Of course! I will need you to signal me in either the notes or in the inbox what I need to change, though.

"Are asexual people queer?"

Answer: Yes! Because the queer community, as the name suggests, is for people who are different, odd, and are not considered "normal" because of that. Asexual people are not a part of "the norm", because we don't feel sexual attraction, and therefore, we, and by extension your ace characters too, are queer.

<2

[araclectic]

٭❀٭٭❀٭ Sweetening Jars ٭❀٭٭❀٭

The basic function of a sweetening jar is to... sweeten! This spell can be used for relationships, situations, groups, organizations- really anything you'd like to make sweet towards the recipient.

Originally from hoodoo and folk magic, Sweetening jars have been used for centuries and in many different pagan and spiritual practices. Here are some variations of this spell:

Honey Jars

Perhaps the most widely used and known version of a sweetening jar is the honey jar. Many places around the world did not have access to sugar (or it was extremely expensive) for a good long while. Honey was often the main source of sweetness and was more readily available for use in magic.

Slow & Sweet:

Honey is a natural sweetener that undergoes a slow transformation as it is created. The nature of how it moves & flows is steady and slow. Magic incorporating honey will be slower, but the effects might be longer lasting. Sometimes fast working magic isn't always the answer, such as when we want a situation or person to slowly sweeten towards us over time. This is the place and time for honey jars!

How to Make a Honey Jar:

Also See:

Prepping For a Spell

Setting Up a Ritual Space For Spellwork

Components needed:

Honey

Jar/container with a lid

paper and pen

Casting:

Intention is everything, and all ingredients/components in a spell must know why they are there working for you. Make sure your intentions are clear going into the spell. Tell the honey that it is here to sweeten your intended person/place/thing/situation. Let your jar know that it is the container of this spell and these energies. Set powerful intention as you continue through the steps.

Begin to fill your container with the honey. About halfway full, pause and write out the recipient of the spell's full name on one side of the paper, and the target upside down adjacent to the recipient so as you fold the paper in half, the names meet.

Add the folded paper into the jar, then continue filling to the top, sealing with (yes) intention. Optionally you can light a candle of corresponding color on top of the jar, either sealing it with the wax (if you intend to not re-open it) or just letting the energy of the fire boost the working. You may add as many situations or people into the sweetening jar over time as you see fit.

Remember, honey moves slowly. Keep this in mind, as the energies may be powerful but slower working. Set the honey jar on an altar or in a space you often pass by in the home, re-energizing the jar every time you see it.

Sugar Jars

Sugar is another effective way of creating a sweetening jar. In this method, water is used as a vessel to contain and amplify the sugar. Water is faster moving than honey, so this version of the spell is best for workings that need to be fast acting.

Water is Receptive:

Water is one of the most powerful magical tools available to us. Our bodies are mostly water, we drink it in order to survive, it ensures that our planet and all living things thrive and grow. In combination with sugar, we have a highly effective mixture for ushering in an abundance of sweetness.

How to Make a Sugar Jar:

Components needed:

Sugar

Water

Jar/container

Paper & pen

Casting:

As stated above, intention is everything. Speak your intentions to your tools. Fill your jar/container with water, then scoop in the sugar while thinking about your desired outcome. Fill the water until it is properly saturated with sugar (it should be so sweet you wouldn't want to drink it). Once again, write the names across from each other on the paper, fold it, then add it to the jar. You can even add some glitter for added effect. Close the jar, then swirl the liquid creating a vortex inside. Seal the spell with a candle if you see fit and leave it on an altar or commonly seen space in your home. Swirl it to re-activate the spell.

This spell is highly effective if you are in need of fast acting magic and sweetness, but it may not be as long lasting as a honey jar. Try making one of each for the benefits of both spells.

In Conclusion:

Sweetening jars are a great way to bring some sweetness/love/luck into your life. They can be used to sweeten relationships, situations, groups, and even for self-love. Honey jars are slow moving but long lasting, and sugar jars are fast acting but shorter lasting. This magic is great for beginners and experienced witches alike. Go forth and add some sweetness to your life!

[avendjarin]

star wars dr - what’s in my bag !

⭑ wallet & credits 𓂃 obviously. i likely keep more credits on me than i should, but if i need to run and what i have on me is all i have time to take, i need to make sure i have a good amount that can last me a bit.

⭑ switchblade 𓂃 as a jedi who lost her lightsaber doesn’t know how to shoot a blaster, a blade is my next best weapon. i found a pretty nice one, and i’ve gotten pretty good with it.

⭑ notebook & pen 𓂃 where every thought i have goes. it’s the place for journal entries, spontaneous ideas, dumb doodles, but most of all, it’s where i write down my poems and songs.

⭑ extra clothes, water, & ration bars 𓂃 must haves for a girl on the run. at any time i could be found by a bounty hunter and forced to flee, so i’ve found it’s smart to pack my bag so i could live off of it for a couple days if need be.

⭑ crystals, herbs, & other witchy stuff𓂃 although i try not to reveal that i’m a witch, and i’m certainly a long ways from Wicca, i still practice the craft, and having commonly used ingredients for spells on me at all times is nice.

⭑ headphones 𓂃 music is one of the only things nowadays that gives me momentary peace. a necessity in these trying times.

⭑ lighter 𓂃 doesn’t have one particular use. lighting incense sticks, burning candles, setting fire to the letters i write for my enemies. you know, the usual.

⭑ medical supplies 𓂃 just the basics. gauze, bacta, a needle and thread for if it’s particularly bad. i certainly won’t be performing any miracles with this stuff, but it’s enough to keep me alive.

⭑ hair ties, clips, & lip balm 𓂃 the things i throw into my bag before heading out despite already having dozens of them in there. the essential non-essentials.

[soappbar]

INTRODUCING MY AGESWAP MUKAI DESIGN!!!! she is my pride and joy be nice to her @ me/give credit if you draw her I WANT TO SEE HER PLEASEEEE a LOT more info. basically rambling under cut vv

okay. so you know how she controls her wood dolls. I thought it would be cool to kind of upgrade her powers (since she's older and stuff) to be generally puppet-ing themed, hence the whole circus ringmaster getup. I'm imagining that she basically transfers energy, like some sort of powerline or something. She can transfer her own energy stringless, and uses it to make an army of dolls which replace the guards in the 7th division. On the offensive, she can control the output of other's powers via her strings. She can make them do things out of their control, or relocate the energy entirely. She can't steal it for herself though I need to make her Not overpowered but I would fully support if she chose to become a mary sue Because she's basically without any esper powers at most times (dolls) she needs a way to actually attack while powerless! She isn't exactly built to be brute-force violent, so she instead uses momentum. I'm imagining it to be like Spiderman but with strings and a lott more acrobatically. She basically just flings herself and uses the force to hit harder. Of course her puppet army is also there to back her up at all times! ---- PERSONALITY THINGS. i need to write about this or I might go insane. as if i haven't already. there's still more to read. She's the tired mom of the 7th division because you know as ageswap goes all of the adults are now bratty children and all of the children now have to deal with babysitting like 20 people. At least in Mukai's case. She can never get a second of peace without one of them breaking a doll and she has one singular shitty ford taurus (I don't. I wouldn't expect this to be commonly used in Japan like at all but it does come in the perfect mint color ever so I can't resist) that she has to pass around to the teenagers and just HOPE and PRAY they don't crash it so all the younger kids can get picked up from school and make it to their evil terrorism daycare on time. She loves her technically not daughter Tsuchiya to death and is the obvious favorite out of the bunch. She really does care for all of the kids but evil organization is evil so she trains them to become strong espers to take over the world or somethingmaybe. thank you for listening. please enjoy

[conazo]

Valentino writing tips: language

I’m not an expert by any means, but I thought I might provide some insight into how I, personally, handle the nasty moth's dialogue.

Like all languages, Spanish is highly regional. We don’t really know Val’s actual background as a Sinner, so your guess is as good as mine. Given his VA is Puerto Rican, however, I write Valentino as someone who speaks Caribbean Spanish (like me!). The three Spanish-speaking countries/territories in the Caribbean are: Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, and Cuba. I'm not familiar with Cuban Spanish, so we'll focus on the first two for now.

Some of these are more specific to one place than the other, but I’m mushing them together for simplicity’s sake (don't come at me).

Fun quirks of Dominican and Puerto Rican Spanish:

A habit of shortening words, like “ven pa’ca” (“come here”) instead of “ven para acá.” We frequently eat the letters “r,” “s” or “d” toward or at the end of some words.

Pronouncing “r” as “l” in some words.

Pronouncing “t” as a soft sound between a “th” and a “d.” Although this voice has a Spanish (from Spain) cadence, you can hear the modified “t” sound in “Valentino” here.

Fun Dominican and Puerto Rican words and phrases:

“Coño” as a casual curse, typically used as an expression of frustration (like “fuck!”). My username is basically a really intense version of coño, and is a very Dominican phrase.

“Diablo,” which means “devil,” is also commonly used as an exclamation.

“Hijo de la gran puta,” a classic that roughly parallels "son of a bitch," but literally translates to “son of a great whore.”

“Papi” or “papi chulo” (“cute daddy”) as a term of affection. “Papito” is the diminutive version of this phrase.

On that note, you can add “ito” to the end of just about anything to make it a diminutive (cutesy/smaller version). “Chulo” means cute, for example. “Chulito” is the even more affectionate/smaller version of that.

“Dique,” which is used to express doubt. Vox might say, “I am not obsessed with Alastor!” Valentino might mutter “diiiique” in response. This is a Dominican thing.

“Wepa,” which is something usually shouted in excitement. This is a Puerto Rican thing.

“Vaina,” which kind of means “thing,” often with a negative connotation. So, Valentino might look at one of Velvette’s designs, find it hideous, and say, “que vaina más fea, oof” (“what an ugly thing, oof”).

“Fó,” which is sort of “ew” or “gross,” usually re: bad smells. You shout it.

“Mano,” short for “hermano” (“brother”). Used between friends.

“Dímelo” (“tell me”) as a greeting. Something that would be said when answering the phone, for example.

“Cojer” as a means of saying “to take,” like taking something from a table. This word has a very different context in other regions. In Mexico, for example, the verb “cojer” is vulgar and means “to fuck.”

“Ahorita,” which in my experience means “later.” In other regions, it can mean “right now” or “later” depending on context.

Commonly used phrases in Mexican Spanish.

You’ll want to avoid these if you’d like his dialogue to be consistently Caribbean-inspired:

“Pinche”

“Verga”

“Wey”

“No mames/no manches”

“Qué padre”

“Chingar”

Calling acquaintances “primo” or “jefe”

I mention this Spanish dialect specifically because it's the most common one in the world. And hey, Val could be canonically Mexican or Mexican in your headcanon! That's cool, too. I'm just providing insight for consistency's sake.

Other insight:

“Ay dios mío!” is a generally overused phrase, in my opinion, and not actually said IRL as frequently as TV makes it seem. Just my experience, though.

“Ay” or “uy” are good filler sounds. You hear Val shout it when Niffty snaps at him.

Valentino canonically squeaks like a moth when passionate!

His voice takes on an echo/growl when he’s particularly angry.

Mixing English and Spanish is tricky. Spanglish is not uncommon in PR, DR, and the US, but usually only when speaking with someone else who is fluent in both languages. Valentino seems plenty fluent in English; he uses lots of contractions, complex sentence structure, and slang. He doesn’t need to inject Spanish phrases in favor of English ones when conversing with another English speaker. He does do it sometimes for emphasis (“the devil’s princesa” or “this chiquita”).

As cliché as it is, defaulting to a Spanish phrase in moments of alarm, anger, frustration, or affection is also not uncommon if you grew up in a Spanish-speaking home. If someone surprises me, I shout “coño” by default, for example.

Valentino uses pet names when referring to others, like "amorcito" (“little love”) and "Angie" over voicemail.

Generally speaking, Val likes to stretch his vowels to be theatrical ("he mooooved!"). He sometimes eats the ends of English words, like “fuckin’” instead of “fucking.” He also sometimes rolls his “r” for English words, like in “ungrrrateful whore!”

Val's accent isn’t consistently strong, which could be a stylistic choice, or he could just be prone to a kind of unique code switching, for lack of a better term. My friends say I speak English with a Spanish accent when conversing with my family, for example (it’s not intentional).

Okay that’s it, bye!

[sproouts-jpeg]

i hc all the straw hat pirates as some flavor of trans or just having some kind of hyper specific gender weirdness (it’s the highest honor and privilege i can bestow upon them as my favorites)

ok straw hat gender + sexuality hcs now cause ig it’s on topic (some are basic and brief and some uber specific cause idk that’s just the vibes of how they would feel abt themselves) (also lots of little drabbles abt gender that someone could write a whole paper on but that won’t be me lol):

luffy

technically a guy but really just here to have fun (he/him)

in the way of “ppl who im equals with in many ways (e.g. ace, sabo, usopp, zoro, etc.) are men so im technically a man by proxy”

like he wouldn’t describe it like that but that’s how it works for him

i feel like he used to be kinda insecure abt being perceived as feminine pre-ts (like yk that scene in amazon lily with the “girly” vest) he learned from growing up with ace (ace, who’s a trans man, used to have some internalized misogyny when he was a kid)

but now post-ts he doesn’t care how he’s perceived at all, and will most of the time respond to almost any pronoun or descriptor (tho half the time he won’t simply cause hes not listening)

aroace

(if we’re gonna get into the semantics abt shipping: he has a lot of love in his heart and could be in a qpr, in whatever way he would call it and what it may entail to him idk)

zoro

trans man (he/him)

[insert that tiktok meme abt working out instead of getting top surgery]

will bind with kt tape sometimes but mostly just doesn’t bind at all

also on testosterone (i think the idea of him being afraid of needles is funny, but it makes no sense to me since he uses even sharper larger swords with seemingly reckless abandon)

i think he was the kind of kid that always knew he was a boy, very sure of himself, but in a way that also left him naive to how other people perceived him (also cause autistic zoro lol). kuina’s feelings on her gender as instilled by koushirou (that going through female puberty will only make her weaker over time, etc.) made him realize in retrospect (once he started puberty himself) that people will start to doubt his masculinity. I think that’d also play into why he works so hard to get stronger (besides fear of not being able to protect those he cares abt) and why he seems to be afraid of fighting female swordsmen (i wouldn’t find it out of the realm of possibility if he accidentally internalized kuina’s fears despite how he wants to disprove them)

gay demiromantic/demisexual (idk it’s just the vibes)

nami

transfemme bigender in the way of “not 100% a girl: one of the boys but also one of the girls, because being a girl’s girl is intrinsic to her being” (she/he)

also jokes aside something something abt being the only female crew member in the all-male environment of the arlong pirates and how she had to navigate socially there to survive and how that would impact her sense of gender as she’s had these experiences that are more commonly understood by women. but also i feel maybe to navigate certain other situations she might’ve had to “man up” (not only be ruthless and cunning but also to adopt more masculine social habits) to not be entirely isolated, underestimated, or manipulated as the only girl

she gets all the typical feminization surgeries done at some point throughout her life and will swindle her way into a good deal every time 😋👌

demiromantic lesbian

i’m a namivivi truther they’re in love your honor and they’re t4t (as all good ships are)

but also like she dates girls on every other island the crew goes to for funsies

usopp

transmasc nonbinary (he/they)

he’s kinda overcompensating a little about his masculinity due to anxiety about not feeling “completely like a man” but he’ll figure it out

i feel like sogeking could be used as an allegory for this too, it kinda already is (usopp is shown a few times to be preoccupied with manliness)! sogeking overall is strong and cool, but also manly, because that’s what usopp feels he himself isn’t, thus the persona is used to compensate for this (in the way of “usopp isn’t a strong manly person, but someone diff/sogeking would be, so he’ll just be a diff person instead”). usopp being seen as weak and feeling weak makes him feel like less of a man by extension.

wears a binder pre-ts (i hc franky got him his first actual binder cause he used to wrap his chest before. raaah big bro franky!!). got top surgery post-ts, will spin the tallest tales that change every time about how he got the scars

knows he likes guys, not 100% sure how he feels abt girls (tho he does find them pretty), doesn’t like to think abt all this too hard

sanji

some kind of genderqueer or genderfluid that he’s in denial abt (he/him, he/she eventually)

(cause he can’t wrap his brain around the concept that u can present fem or masc or however, whenever u want) (he’ll figure it out when he gets older)

grey asexual (doesn’t even know it yet)

(his romantic attraction to women is genuine, just exaggerated as overcompensation for all the other weird stuff he’s got going on)

(if he ever thought abt it he’d realize he wouldn’t really care what gender his partner is tho, and that he doesn’t really care for sexual intimacy as much as he’s romanticized it in his head) (but he won’t for a while :/)

vivi

trans woman (she/her)

no-op, but is on estrogen (idk that’s just the vibes to me)

sapphic (knows she likes women, but is not entirely sure abt men)

i love namivivi, but i also feel like they understand that they won’t be like together together for a very long time (cause yk pirate stuff and royal responsibilities) so they’re 100% ok with not being exclusive cause they know they’ll come back to each other in the end 👍

chopper

a boy in the way of “this is a human concept that was assigned to me, but with my crew i find comfort and camaraderie in it” (he/him)

but also if u ask him he will respond with “a male reindeer”

he’s only attracted to other deers/deer mink obv

(maybe other minks too idk (do minks in general only have relations with minks of the same species or???))

i feel like he’s still naive in that aspect, like he’s still figuring out what he likes but is kind of embarrassed to think abt it (idk what 15 yo isn’t lol)

robin

intersex trans woman (she/her)

being seen as “wrong” or a “demon” for an intrinsic aspect of herself; her df powers in canon, but also in this context her gender/sex (cause for some reason ppl actually believe that kind of crap irl).

having these similar experiences to franky (both in regards to gender and being a “freak” in a way) makes the whole “existing is not a crime” thing much more potent to me (omfg i’m gonna cry just thinking abt that line ;-;)

straight (but only attracted to the weirdest of men aka franky and exclusively t4t) (sorry bi robin enjoyers i can see where you’re coming from but that’s just not how my brain sees it)

franky

the most suuuuuper trans dude (being a cyborg is 100000% gender affirming) (he/him)

i could write a very long post going over individual details of his character that could be interpreted as an analogy for transness but i’ll just list my biggest points: 1) EXISTING IS NOT A CRIME (like wtf again gonna cry just thinking abt it), 2) being a quite literally self made man like he augments his body to fit his ideal self image, 3) reclaiming being labeled as a “pervert” as a form of self expression (like many queer people do irl)

(makes bootleg testosterone cola… tried to offer some to zoro but z would rather die than risk getting cavities (i also hc zoro really cares abt oral hygiene but that’s irrelevant rn))

bisexual

definitely a ladies man but idk i just feel like he can really appreciate another nice looking buff dude

brook

self-proclaimed “dandy” a.k.a. after decades stuck in the past, for my future i’m just gonna do whatever i want for the fun of it

like he’s a flamboyantly dressed rockstar, why not???

chaotic queer

he was definitely in a matelotage with yorki im telling you!!! (definition: an economic partnership established by pirates where 2 men were mates/matelots and would share income and inherit the others property if they died, sometime used as a form of civil union/marriage cause y’know ✨sodomy laws and stuff✨)

but also it’s mildly implied he did some stuff with some mermaids on fishman island and possibly big mom??? so yeah he’s just here to have fun

also more private about these aspects of himself in his past, but dead men can do whatever they please!!

jimbei

intersex male (he/him)

based on how many species of irl fish can change sex characteristics if needed to balance the environment. but also on how he can talk to fish, a skill apparently only mermaids have

unlabeled (likes people regardless of gender, but has a preference for women)

i mean like he could be bi or pan or whatever, but he just personally doesn’t use labels

[softestqueeen]

care for a dance?

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: spencer learns how to dance to teach you.

warnings: just pure fluff

wordcount: 764 words

a/n: this is just short and sweet! I’ve got the idea from @i-live-in-spite and just had to write it. I’m not 100% happy with it, but I had to get it out.

Spencer Reid knew how to do lots of things, theoretically. He could exactly tell you how to throw a ball perfectly for it to land in the net, at which angle you should throw it and from what position. He could tell you how to get checkmate in less than three moves across the checkered chess board, in this case he could even show you.

What he could also tell you, was how to dance a simple waltz. He couldn’t however demonstrate that, but he thinks he might want to learn how to.

“Spence, do you know how to dance?” his eyebrows shot up at the question.

“Uhm, I think you might have to be a bit more specific than that. There are thousands of dances in almost every culture, which all have different meanings. Are we talking about Salsa, flamenco, a waltz?” Spencer gave back. It was adorable to hear him ramble like that.

“Yeah, I meant more like a waltz or something simple. I really want to learn that for Rossi’s wedding and thought maybe you knew how to,” you explained further.

“I- Yes, I think I could do a waltz. It’s actually a remarkably simple dance that consists of the same few steps every time you do it. The music has a special beat and is written in a ¾ bar, as opposed to the usually used 4/4 bar. It is also most commonly danced to the song “the blue danube” by Strauss.”

“Well, if you’re that confident with it, how about you show me this weekend. We could practice it,” your smile was gentle as you slightly tilted your head. You didn’t want to miss any signs of discomfort in Spencer’s face.

“Oh, uhm, yeah that would be great! Saturday at 6 at mine? We could also get takeout,” he offered.

“Sounds good, I’ll see ya around, Spence!”

That was on Wednesday and now that Saturday is inching closer and closer he actually has to learn how to waltz. In theory it was easy, but the reality definitely looked different.

He was very glad that he has practiced before you came over. The amount of how often he tripped over his feet would have definitely gotten a laugh or two out of you, though.

Spencer was holding his hands out before him, his left arm stuck out curling around your imaginary palm, while his other hand was resting in the air at the approximate height of your waist. He tried to recall everything he knew about the basics, as well as the four YouTube tutorials he just watched.

Moving his foot forwards, he set it down before following with his other foot. He must have looked incredibly ridiculous while doing this alone, but for you, he’d do anything. Slowly, he continued the dance, his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration.

The profilers’ eyes were practically glued to his feet. Once he tried it without looking, he immediately tripped over his feet and almost knocked over the lamp that was standing in his living room. He continued to practice though, his movements slowly getting more fluent. Deciding that he knew enough of the basics to teach you, he ended his training session.

A few hours later you knocked on his door. You were wearing relaxed clothing and carried a bag with your favourite takeout. Spencer gave you a smile before opening the door wider to let you in.

After removing your shoes, the two of you sat down in his kitchen to eat. Afterwards, you stood up, extended your hand, and asked, “Care for a dance?”

“Always,” he answered.

“But we can’t dance yet, I don’t know how to. Show me, please?”

And so, the two of you spent the next one and a half hours practicing. Spencer was the most patient person ever when repeating the steps over and over again. He guided you when you did your first attempts and was never mad at you for stepping on his feet.

“I think I got it now,” you said before getting in position again.

“You sure?” Spencer asked.

Only giving a hum in response, you put on the music again and start dancing. One foot forward, slightly tilted, then following with the other one. Repeat, repeat and repeat and you’ve got it.

You did it. You squealed in excitement before taking your hands out of his. Instead, excited, and not really thinking, you take Spencer’s face in your hands, lean forward, and press your lips to his.

Now, Spencer was definitely happy to have learned how to dance.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueen

requests open!

taglist:@silvermagnolias@milywatermelon@BigBananaa @i-live-in-spite