#and there's nowhere to get gas or food

[somethingbeautifulisgointohappen]

how are we feeling gamers?

[housecow]

one of those days i wake up devastatingly hungry btw 😭😭

[flying-cat]

thank god i have work because if i had to hear that orange fuckwit's voice all day from my dad's room i genuinely think i would go insane and crash the fuck out

[gaza-giving-tree]

Imagine waking up to the deafening roar of explosions, your tent shaking violently as the earth trembles beneath you. In an instant, everything is chaos—your children scream in terror, clutching onto you as you scramble to escape. The sky is filled with smoke and falling debris, the air thick with dust and panic. There is no time to think, no time to gather what little you have left. You run—barefoot, desperate, carrying your baby in your arms—praying that you will make it out alive.

Images: Hossam sent us images of what his family's tent looks like today after violent airstrikes in Gaza last night (03/17/2025).

Video: to further prove the validity of Hossam's story, we have included an Al Jazeera news report that Hossam sent to us, in which he briefly appears (at the 0:48 mark)

@bashar-qazaz

@hane-qazaz

@hanon-qazaz

Story written by @rumiandroses

For Hossam Al-Qazzaz and his family, this nightmare became reality LAST NIGHT (03/17/2025) when an airstrike obliterated their tent—their last refuge after losing their home, a casualty of the war in Gaza. With no shelter, no safety, and nowhere left to run, they are once again plunged into unimaginable uncertainty as the ceasefire in Gaza collapses and war reignites around them.

Hossam, a dedicated father of four, has already lost his home, his job, and his peace of mind due to the relentless bombardments in Gaza in the 15 months preceding the now,-collapsed ceasefire. Now, with nothing but debris around them, he, his wife Hanan, and their four children—Bashar (9), Hani (8), Diana (4), and 5-month-old Habiba—are now struggling to survive with no roof over their heads.

The suffering extends beyond Hossam, his wife, and his children. Hossam is also the sole caretaker of his elderly parents, aged 75 and 72, both in fragile health. His father is suffering from severe burns and urgently needs medical care, while his mother battles high blood pressure and requires constant attention. But with no home, no stable source of income, and skyrocketing prices for essentials like rice and cooking gas—driven by the border closures and the ban on goods entering Gaza—Hossam is trapped in an incredibly difficult and stressful situation.

Despite these unbearable challenges, Hossam is not asking for much—only the money needed to survive, and to be able to evacuate to safety when the border crossing opens again.

"All we want is to live in dignity," Hossam pleads.

This is where you can make a difference. Every small donation—no matter how modest—can help provide food, clothing, and medical care for Hossam, Hanan, their children, and elderly parents. It can help ensure that Habiba gets the milk and diapers she desperately needs and that his family is not left out in the open with nowhere to turn.

Please, if you can, donate or share Hossam’s story today. Your support can be the difference between survival and despair.

Please consider donating to the Al-Qazzaz family’s original fundraiser to help them buy food and essentials and rebuild their tent:

Our founder, Bethany-Grace ( @rumiandroses ) is also sponsoring a fundraising campaign to help Hossam, Hanan and their entire family evacuate to safety. If everyone donates a little, we might be able to get them to safety the moment the border crossing opens again:

Together, we can ensure that Hossam's family does not just survive—but begins to rebuild a life of safety, stability, and hope.

Hossam’s campaign has been vetted by @gazavetters, and (#287) on their list of verified campaigns.

[citrusrei]

a lil' something sweet

Farmhand! Joel x Married! Reader

summary: After your husbands aunt passes away, he takes on the responsibility of caring after the beloved family farm. Coming from the city after living there your whole life to moving to a huge farm in the middle of nowhere is a shock to you. But what shocks you even more is the comfort you find from the live-in farmhand, Joel Miller.

word count: 25.5k

warnings/tags: 18+ only. MINORS DNI. no outbreak AU. non canon Joel. country side on a farm type shit. Joel is a lonely man. Kinda creepy but in a sexy way. heavy petting. thigh riding. Joel finishes in his pants. Infidelity (oops). joel's possessive but not in a toxic way (outloud). unprotected p-in-v sex. creampies. slight breeding kink if you squint right. age gap. reader is mid to late 20's and joel is pushin' 50. petnames (baby, baby doll, baby girl, darlin', ya know). readers husband is a real dick. slight fatshaming (we hate the husband). joel makes it better. lots of soft touches and kisses. fluffy, angsty, smutty. happy ending. (no y/n, reader is AFAB. minimal physical descriptions)

a/n: this was fun to write cause desperate, needy joel is my absolute favorite thing. also the word count makes me go brrr cause wdym it's so long?? and while we don't usuallyyy fuck with infidelity, it was warranted here. please pay attention to the warnings if you don't like any of what is mentioned, don't read it. thank u all tho and i hope u enjoy it ~

this was a long mf time coming

-

You were never a fan of the countryside. Being somewhere so far from civilization terrified you. What do you mean the nearest big grocery store was over an hour away… in each direction? So, when your husband told you his Aunt Karla had passed, and that he’d be taking care of the family farm, you began to panic. You were sympathetic of course and consoled him as best you could, but leaving the city? Hell, you'd even considered divorce; it was that serious. Not really, but almost.

The drive was long and tiring. You’d rented a moving truck and packed all your belongings from your hometown and drove the seven hours it took to reach his aunt's farm. Anxiety set in almost immediately as the tall buildings and fast-food restaurants on every other corner disappeared. Trees and fields and wildflowers surrounded your view as the long and narrow highway seemed to go on forever. Your husband, Luke, decided to make a few pit stops for gas or bathroom breaks, even a quick fuck in the front seat on the side of the road- which, you weren’t really all that into.

Seven grueling hours later, the farm came into view. It was a lot larger than what you thought it was going to be. The two-story farm home sat in the middle of the plot of land, surrounded by lots of trees. A big, peeling red barn sat to the left and to the right, at least two or three horses roamed in a fenced area. What was Luke thinking? You had never stepped foot on a farm in your life besides maybe an elementary school field trip 20 years ago. How did he think you’d be able to handle a barn full of animals?

Luke parked the moving van in front of the house which sat on a hill. Concrete stairs led up to the front door and you sighed, dreading the trips back and forth. Luke gave you a pointed look before sighing himself.

“Listen… we’re doing my family a favor by taking over the farm. And it's not going to be forever. Just a couple years and then when Nick gets back from the Marines, he said he’d take it and then we’ll head back to the city, okay?” Luke says in annoyance, mentioning his brother. You nod, grabbing your purse from the front seat and heading up the stairs to check the house out.

Stepping inside felt surreal, like you’d gone into a different decade as you gazed at all the antique furniture, hutches with fine China, and flowered wallpaper. You couldn’t help but let out a deep breath as you set your purse down, walking into the kitchen. It was nice and quaint, and honestly it made you feel some semblance of comfort as you took in the marble counter tops and Chicken themed decorations.

You loved to cook and bake, and as you saw the built-in pasta maker on the counter and the bread oven on the far wall, you had a thought that maybe you could do this. Maybe you could make this work.

After a moment, Luke steps inside as you wander around the house, noting the three bedrooms and the two and a half baths the home has to offer. He huffs out heavily, setting down three boxes stacked on one another. “Uh, honey? Are you going to help or what?” he asks, a bit of bite to his tone.

“Sorry, I was just checking everything out. The master bedroom is nice! But it’s kinda stuffy in here. Where do I turn the AC on?” You ask curiously only to be met with a scowl. Your eyebrows knit in confusion as you wait for him to answer.

“Jesus… This house was made in like, 1803. There’s no air conditioning, babe. If it’s stuffy, open the windows.” Luke says as he turns around, heading back to the truck.

You throw your head back in frustration. No grocery stores nearby, no air conditioning, all these damn animals, and of course Luke being an asshole about it all. You’d been quiet about this whole thing since Luke told you, not asked, but told you he’d taken over his aunt's farm. You didn’t want to complain or make it seem like an inconvenience when he was grieving. But it was. You weren’t cut out for this life and that was okay. Unfortunately, you loved your husband and told yourself to at least give it a shot. That was a decision you were beginning to regret.

“Come on! I’m doing all the work here!” Luke yells from the truck, bringing you from your thoughts. You close your eyes for a moment longer before heading down the steps to help him. Maybe he’ll be in a better mood once you’re done setting everything up. At least you could only hope.

A few hours pass and you have most of your belongings unpacked. You’d left a lot of stuff back at your apartment in the city since your sister was going to take over your lease while you were away. All that was left to be taken care of was the bedroom stuff.

Your eyes settle on the cuckoo clock as it chimes, 6pm already. You excuse yourself from unpacking as you head downstairs to start working on dinner. Luke groans about how he’s had to do all the work all day, but lets you go downstairs to cook. Nodding, you head down the steps into the kitchen, figuring out where to start.

After Karla passed, a lot of the stuff she had was packed and separated between family members, but they left the kitchen alone. You opened the fridge, deciding to start there. It was still full of stuff, and you began to make a mental note of what ingredients you saw. A couple fresh eggs, milk, butter, some different meats and veggies. After checking the rest of the kitchen, you came up with the idea of breakfast for dinner. Waffles, eggs, and bacon.

As you got to work, you didn’t notice the back porch door swing wide open. And you definitely didn’t notice the man that came in through it. He sets a basket of farm fresh eggs on the counter, bringing you from your thoughts as you whisk together the batter.

Your eyes widen as you jump with a yelp, clutching your chest as the man stares at you with a blank expression. He doesn’t offer his hand or anything, he just stares and says, “Joel.”

As your heart settles, you nod slowly. “Your name is Joel?

Joel nods too, his eyes leaving yours as he sees Luke enter the room.

“Honey, what’s the matter, why did you yell? Oh! You’ve met Joel.” Luke smiles, “Babe, this is Joel Miller. He’s the farm hand. He takes care of the animals and stuff, cleans the farm up, gathers… eggs. He’s worked for my aunt forever.” Luke continues as his eyes glance down at the basket Joel brought in.

“Nice to meet you, Joel. Sorry, I was really concentrated on making this waffle batter I didn’t even hear you come in.” You say softly, a small smile on your lips.

“’S okay. I can be kinda quiet sometimes. I’ll holler next time I drop the eggs off.” Joel speaks. His voice is gruff and low. Somehow nostalgic, or at least that’s what you thought as your chest fills with a familiar feeling. Your eyes traveled to his as you smiled, taking in the features of this stranger.

He was older. Maybe in his early 50’s or late 40’s. He had a broad nose with a scar on the bridge. His chocolate brown eyes seem tired, but kind; inviting. His hair was dark and graying and as your eyes traveled lower, you noticed how his arms seemed to bulge under the dirtied, navy-blue shirt he was in. ‘Handsome’ was the first word to pop into your mind. You cleared your throat and looked at Luke who seemed annoyed about something. What’s new?

“Well, see you folks later. It was nice meetin’ you, sweetheart.” Joel says as he makes his leave. You watch him go before turning back to the batter, trying to finish everything up. Once dinner time finally arrives, Luke ends up complaining the entirety of the meal about how waffles are breakfast food and having them for dinner is like a crime against humanity. You think it’s funny how he eats them anyways.

The first night here sucks. It’s incredibly hot as the thick quilt on his aunt's bed sticks to your skin. Sweat beads from your forehead as you toss and turn, dripping down your neck and back. Deciding you can’t do it anymore, you throw the comforter off you and stomp downstairs, irritated by every little thing from today. The long drive, the car sex, Luke’s attitude, the heat. You head through the kitchen to the back porch, and you finally get relief in the form of the cool night breeze. You feel your sweat dry against your skin, leaving you sticky but honestly, you couldn’t care less right now. The breeze has a nip to it, signaling summers soon-to-be end, and you couldn’t wait.

Your eyes close, savoring the fresh air against your cheeks. You don’t know how much time passes but you only open them when you hear the sound of a guitar in the wind. Looking around the backyard, you notice a small guest house down the hill. It had to be Joel’s. The porch light is on, the front door open, and before you can even think, you begin to walk towards it.

The tiny home isn’t far away from the main house, but a good enough distance that you realize you probably should have put shoes on. Gravel digs into your heels, but it doesn’t hurt. The guitar becomes louder as you approach, a melancholic tune strummed from the strings. As you reach the house, doubt fills your mind. You probably shouldn’t even be here just showing up like some creep. But you also figure you’ve come this far… Plus, it’d be nice to get to know him in some capacity considering he works here on the farm you’ll be living on. Or that’s what you tell yourself.

You step quietly onto the wood porch, savoring the cool night air and the sadness of his guitar. Now that you’re closer, you can hear Joel humming too. An unsure smile etches on to your face as you walk into the doorway, working up the courage before knocking on the wood.

“Hey… sorry to bother you.” You say softly, not wanting to alarm him.

Joel looks up to you in surprise, his fingers stop against the neck of his guitar. “Oh, well, hi there. What can I do for you?”

“Oh! Nothing. I was… I was just on the back porch trying to cool off and I heard a guitar. Figured this is where you stay, and I thought I’d come and say hi. Maybe listen to you play for a bit?” You say nervously. You almost feel embarrassed. You don’t even know this man.

Joel looks a bit confused at first before nodding to the couch next to his rocking chair he’s sitting in. You pad into the house with little steps before sitting down. Your body flushes with nerves as you look at him, like you’re waiting for something to happen.

Joel doesn’t say anything. He just begins to play again, a different song this time. You settle into the plaid couch as he strums, the cool air from the front door being open blows in and you shiver. Your eyes widen as you realize you’re in your ivory, silk nightie and embarrassment floods your cheeks for real this time. Joel probably thinks you’re insane, or maybe he thinks you’re wanting to seduce him. Which, no, of course you weren't; you’re married! Red flushes against your cheeks and you subconsciously pull your nightgown down, trying to cover your knees.

Joel plays for a while before speaking. He clears his throat, hesitating a moment, “So… you know who George Jones is?” He asks. You shake your head, a smile on your lips. “No, can’t say I do. Who is he?”

He smiles softly too, at least you think it’s a smile. “He was a country singer… Old country singer from way before you were even a twinkle in your mama’s eyes. Has a lot of sad songs, which I like to play, I guess. But uh… 'was just wondering if you knew his music. I'll play one of his songs for you.” You nod curiously, adjusting your body to give him your full attention.

The song starts off slow, his fingers moving expertly along the frets of the guitar, rough voice singing low.

“He said, ‘I’ll love you till I die’. She said, ‘You’ll forget in time’. As the years went slowly by, she still preyed upon his mind.”

Your eyes widen at the lyric's, realizing Joel was probably right. This was a sad song. You weren’t expecting him to sing either. But you didn’t mind it. It was really nice actually. It was so melodic and entrancing, you don't take notice of the dust of pink that kissed the apples of your cheeks.

You sit and listen to him perform through this song that breaks your heart and he finally gets to the chorus.

“He stopped loving her today. They placed a wreath upon his door. And soon they’ll carry him away. He stopped loving her today.”

You suck a breath quick breath, feeling your vision blur as he finishes the song. By the time it's over, your head rests in your palms against the arm of the couch, watching Joel intently as tears pool in your eyes. Joel stops, placing his hand against the strings as he looks at you, his own eyes widening at the shimmer in yours.

“Wait-what’s wrong, darli-”

“He died?” You exclaim emotionally, a tear slipping out. “That song is about a man who loves this woman even though they’re not together anymore but only stops ‘cause he dies? And she goes to his funeral?” Your eyes close as you sit up. Those welled up tears falling against your cheeks. “That’s so sad."

Joel chuckles softly, setting his guitar against the end table. “I did tell you I like to play them sad songs, did I not?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was sad like that. Like, maybe it was about a man losing his horse. Or selling his tractor for a new one. Not about loving his soulmate and then dying!” You cry.

“’m sorry, darlin’. Didn’t mean to make you cry. Just thought you might like it.” He says apologetically, passing you his handkerchief from his pocket.

“No, no. I did like it. You’re talented, Joel, I just… damn… that was so… sad.” You sigh as you take the handkerchief and wipe your tears before letting your hands fall into your lap. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. I’ve just… had a day.”

Joel’s eyebrow quirks, “That Luke boy of yours being a brat?”

Your eyes snap to the older man and you nod slightly. “I mean, kinda. He’s just… been on one lately. I think it’s the stress of moving here so quickly. I mean, we uprooted our whole lives and moved here within a week of Karla passing. It’s been a lot for both of us.” You breathe out. You hadn’t mentioned your frustrations to anyone, but it felt good to say something. You’d been keeping it in too long for your liking.

Joel sighs knowingly, “Yeah, I can imagine. Packin’ up your life then moving to a place you’ve never been before. It’s gotta be hard.” He pauses for a moment, debating his next words, “Uh, Karla loved her nephew… But Luke would come here during the summer when he was little, and he was uh… quite the handful to say the least. Seems like he still is.” Joel reaches for his glass of what you assumed to be whiskey or bourbon based on the color, the ice in the cup long melted as the condensation trickles down the sides. You pause for a moment, watching him sip on the liquid, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. You suddenly felt parched too.

“I mean he’s stubborn, sure… but he has good moments. I wouldn’t have married him if he didn’t.” You say quietly, your voice trailing off.

Joel eyes you for a second and hums in acknowledgment. “I didn’t say he didn’t have his good moments, darlin’.”

You bite your lip after he says that. You didn’t need to justify anything to him. It was just… habit. You'd always stood up for him. Luke was a good guy. You thought so at least. Maybe others didn't.

He sets his glass down on the table next to him and looks up to the clock. It reads just past one in the morning. “Well, I don’t mean to be a bad host but it’s gettin’ late. Don’t want your husband thinkin’ you gone missing on him, huh?”

Your eyes widen as you realize the time and you stand up, adjusting your nightgown again. “No, you’re right. I lost track of time. And honestly Luke might throw a fit if he wakes up and I’m not there.” You hover around the couch for a moment longer before heading towards the door. Looking back at Joel, you notice him looking right back at you. “Thanks for playing me some music. It was a well needed peaceful moment after my day. Even if you made me cry.”

Joel let’s out an amused breath, “Yeah, well, don’t get used to no personal concerts. It was a special occasion tonight for your first night here. Alright?”

“Got it. Thanks again, Joel. I’m sure I’ll see you soon. Have a good night, okay?” You say as you wave and make your way back to the house, feeling slightly better than earlier. Joel nods at you, watching you make your way back inside before he shuts his own door, sighing to himself and shaking his head.

As you reach the house and shut the back door behind you, you realize you still had Joel’s green handkerchief, gripped in your palm. A sigh leaves your lips as you make a mental note to give it back to him tomorrow after washing it. You tuck it away in the laundry basket by the door and then head upstairs, making sure to be as quiet as possible as you slip back into bed. Luke turns in his sleep; throwing am arm over you. It’s comforting. Something he hasn’t done in a while. You smile as you begin to drift off, feeling safe in your husband's arms. As sleep beckons you, you don’t even realize how your thoughts drift back to your time with Joel. The way his fingers strummed against the guitar, and the way his low voice rasped the sad words of that George Jones song. Or the way he looked at you, his eyes locked on to yours as tears welled up, the softness his molasses-colored ones held.

About a month passes of the farm life and it’s really not so bad. Yeah, you kinda hate the smell that lingers from the barn, and you hate that damn rooster that crows every morning at 6 on the dot. But other than that, it hasn’t been too bad. You even learn there’s a local grocery store up the road a couple miles and although the prices are up charged a bit, you’re able to get your comfort bag of Hot Cheetos here and there.

Luke has been an asshole still, sadly. Especially now that he’s working remotely, and the internet out here sucks. And now that you’re not working, since you had to quit your job before moving here, there isn’t much for you to do to pass the time.

Your days consist of cleaning the house, doing laundry, napping on the green velvet couch Karla had as old soap operas play in the background. You like to walk around the property sometimes, finding that being around nature isn’t horrible. The sound of the leaves shaking with the wind and the crickets by the creek in the back have become relaxing to you. Who would have thought?

What really has been getting you by however, is baking. Karla had dozens of cookbooks from the 60’s and 70’s all filled with interesting, and sometimes disgusting recipes. In the last month you’d made maybe 10 loaves of bread, such as pumpkin, zucchini, banana, apple cinnamon, and even an olive and ham loaf… that one was a fat no. You’d made different small cakes and tarts and while they all never went to waste; Luke never tried them. Every time you’d knock on the door with a small plate of whatever you’d made, he’d scowl, turning his nose up and then look back at his computer. It was disheartening.

But today was going to be a good day. You’d pulled your latest creation out of the oven, filling the kitchen with a sweet, homey scent. You couldn’t wait to try it. Immediately, you stuck your fork into it and then into your mouth. Despite the molten filling singing your taste buds, your eyes shut in pleasure. It was fucking delicious. Beaming down at your treat, you decided to cut Luke a slice of your very first ever, homemade cherry pie. You were so proud of it. The crumb had the perfect texture, the cherry filling had the perfect amount of tart to sweet ratio, and even the lattice was perfect, a little heart placed in the middle. You knew he was probably not going to want it, but you were going to try anyways.

After climbing the steps to where he was, you tapped against the wood of the doorway, plate and pie in hand as you smiled warmly, “Hi, honey. I made this cherry pie and it’s literally the most amazing thing I’ve ever made-”

“I don’t want any.” Luke says, cutting your sentence off. You falter a moment, but you know if he tried it, he would love it. He loves cherries.

“I think you should just have a bite! I’m telling you; you’ll like it.” You offer, stepping closer to him.

Luke sighs and you know he’s about to give you an earful, “I said I don’t want any of your damn pie,” He seethes, “You offer me everything you make, and have I accepted it once?”

Your cheeks heat up as tears prick your eyes and you kind of regret even trying to ask. You want to respond and yell back but you also don’t want to argue. You don’t know where your sweet, loving husband went and it hurts. Luke turns in his computer chair and his eyes are glazed with venom as he stares you down, “So, stop asking me. I don’t want them. You shouldn’t even be eating that shit anyways, you’re getting fat.”

Luke turns back to his computer and begins to click at the keys, clearly done with the conversation. You grip the plate in your hand, biting back the tears that threaten to spill as you go to leave the room. As soon as you step out of it, Luke shuts the door behind you. Your heart clenches in your chest as the tears fall. When did he become so cold? What had you done to make him do a 180 like this? How can you fix it? Or is it even fixable?

Questions swirl through your mind as you pad down the stairs, feeling small and wanting to coil into yourself but as you enter the kitchen, you notice Joel has stepped in. He sets the basket of a dozen or so eggs on the counter as he does every Tuesday. His eyes glance at the pie and then up to you, concern etching into his features.

Joel doesn’t want to ask what’s wrong, just cause you two still don’t know each other that well, but it’s like he can’t help himself.

“What’s’a matter, darlin’? Everythin’ okay?” He asks, eyes set tightly on your face.

Your brows knit together as you swallow back the burn of more tears in your throat and you nod, “Yeah, I’m okay. Don’t worry.” You say as you set the pie on the counter. Joel eyes it and he can feel his stomach begin to rumble. You notice his gaze on the pie, and you can’t help but smile. Letting out a breathy laugh, you allow yourself to relax a bit in his presence. He radiates this genuine aura, and you can’t help how it attracts you to him like a moth to a flame.

“You like pie?” You ask curiously.

Joel nods, “Yes, ma’am. Cherry is my second favorite, next to pecan, of course.”

Without hesitation, you push the plate over to Joel on the other side of the counter, “Help yourself. Luke doesn’t want it.”

Joels eyes widen in confusion, “How can a man deny a woman a slice of her homemade cherry pie? He on a diet or something?” He asks as he takes the plate and fork, diving right in. You shrug at his words, not caring anymore. You watch Joel’s reaction as he takes his first bite and it’s… something.

He chews for a moment, his eyes closing as his free hand grips the counter, “Damn…” He breathes. He goes in for another bite, bigger this time. You can feel your heart jumping at his reaction. He must like it.

“It taste okay?” You ask nervously, picking at your fingernails. He looks at you dumbfounded, like you’d asked him the silliest question in the world.

“Darlin’… does it taste okay? Have you tried it yet? Jesus, girl… best damn pie I have ever had.” He says quietly, stuffing more pie into his mouth.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and smile wider, “Don’t lie to me now, Joel.”

Joel shakes his head quickly, finishing off the big slice, his fork clanging against the plate. “Naw, I wouldn’t lie about a good pie. A damn good pie at that. I’d tell ya if it tasted anything less than decent.”

You can’t help the dumb grin on your face as he hypes your sweet treat up. It’d been a while since you got any sort of praise from anyone, and it felt nice. Your cheeks tinge with a dusty rose as you lean over, cutting the rest of the pie into slices. You save yourself one and hand Joel the rest. His eyes widen at the offer, taking the pie pan in his dirty palms.

“It’s yours. I’m really glad you enjoyed it, Joel. I’ve been baking up a storm this past month I’ve been here, and I’ve been the only one eating them. I don’t need a whole pie to myself. So, it’s all yours.” Your gaze is soft on Joel’s face, and it causes his chest to stir with something he’s not so sure of.

He clears his throat, looking back down at the delicacy he’s holding. “You sure ‘bout that? I don’t wanna be no pie thief just ‘cause you know I think it tastes good.”

A genuine laugh escapes your throat, causing his to restrict, “No, I don’t think you’re a pie thief. You’re really doing me a favor by taking it off my hands. I’m glad it’s going to someone who will enjoy it.”

Joel nods, gripping the pie pan in his hands as he looks down at it. He looks anywhere besides where you stand. “Well, ‘preciate it. You’re about as sweet as this pie is, I reckon. Luke’s got a good girl on his hands.”

Your shoulders fall as he mentions Luke and you know they shouldn’t. Even the thought of him right now fills you with intense sadness, but you push it away, nodding at his words. Joel clears his throat again, before finally looking back up to you, “Well, thank you, darlin’. I will enjoy every bit of this pie and bring the pan back when I’m done.” He turns to leave, but looks back for a moment, “And if you decide to ever try and make a pecan pie… you know where my door is.” He smiles, walking out the back door.

You find yourself reeling from the interaction and you try and convince yourself it was only because he loved your pie. It wasn’t the way his eyes closed as he savored his first taste, or the way he practically moaned in delight after every bite he took. And it definitely wasn’t the way he gripped the counter, the pie leaving him speechless, or the way you’d thought maybe that’s what his hands would look like gripped around your waist or thighs as he… your eyes widen at your thought process, and you run up the steps to jump in the shower, hoping to wash away the impure thoughts about a man who isn’t your husband. Even as you make an excuse for every thought that pops into your head about Joel, you can’t ignore the beat that drums between your legs, no matter how hard you try. No matter how hard you scrub at your skin, it’s like those images have been imprinted in your mind. Fuck.

After a long shower, a full skincare session and getting dressed in your comfiest jammies, you head back down to the kitchen to eat your slice of pie, only to be met with Luke eating it instead. His eyes wide as you walk in, mouth full of cherry filling.

“Baby, this… you outdid yourself. This is fucking good.” Luke says, a soft smile on his face. Your stomach churns as he speaks, and usually you’d be happy he was finally giving you attention. But not this time. Instead, you were pissed he ate your only slice of pie.

“Did you eat the rest of it? I need another slice. I’d skip dinner for that.” He says as he nearly runs to the fridge, searching for the remainder of the pie.

“I gave it to Joel. He brought in the eggs and said it was one of his favorites. I didn’t think you’d want it since you know, you said you didn’t.”

Luke sighs, “You gave it to Joel? The whole pie? You know I love cherries, why the hell would you do that?”

Your eyes widen in disbelief, anger filling your body. “Luke, you said yourself you didn’t want any. I didn’t want it to go to waste and that slice you just ate was mine. You didn’t even ask!”

Luke rolls his eyes, slamming the door of the fridge, “I don’t need to ask you what I can and can’t eat. Make another pie.” He says as he walks past you, mumbling something about how he can’t believe you’d give another man something before him. He was unbelievable. You grab the plate he’d left on the counter and toss it into the sink, not caring if it breaks or not. You breathe out from your nose as you rest your palms against the cool marble counters, your jaw clenched tight as your foot taps against the tile. You don’t know how much longer you can take this attitude of his.

Deciding you need a distraction; you head down to Joel’s. His door is shut, but his porch light is on. That doesn’t deter you though. As you walk on to the creaky wooden porch and knock, you can feel your anger dissipate from your body. The distance from Luke was good.

Joel opens the door only a moment later, his eyes confused but his mouth upturned into a smile. “Hey, darlin’, what are you doin’ here?”

“Do you have any more pie?” You ask. Your question takes him off guard, but he nods, stepping aside to let you in.

“I got a few slices left. Gotta be honest with you; I had one or two more when I got back in an hour ago.” He says sheepishly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. You turn to face him, your eyes looking into his. Joel feels his chest fill with that same thing he felt earlier. Something he still couldn’t place.

“Luke ate mine. I… I really wanted a slice, but I gave you the rest. He’s mad at me ‘cause I gave it to you.” You say as your shoulders fall. Joel laughs, his eyes crinkling at the sight of your slight pout. He thought it was cute.

“Mad, huh? Over a pie? Can’t say I blame him though. It is pretty damn good.” Joel heads into another room for a moment, which you assume is the kitchen because he comes back to the living room with a big slice of your cherry pie in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. “Sit.” he says, nodding to his couch.

You sit in the same spot you sat in the last time you were here, resting back against the cushions as Joel places the food on a TV tray and sets it in front of you. The little action has your heart racing. Something as simple as getting served a slice of pie sends your heart into a tizzy and you sigh, digging into the dessert. It was damn good.

Joel sits in his rocking chair, just like last time, but doesn’t say anything. He lets you eat in silence and once you’re done, he takes care of it too.

You don’t want to leave yet, and as you pull your knees up to your chest, you hope he doesn’t ask you to. Joel returns a moment later, a glass of water for you and a glass of that same amber liquid for him. He smiles, handing you the glass, “You look comfy.”

Your cheeks tint a shade of pink, and you take the glass from him, “I am comfy. This couch is nice.”

“Hope so. I’ve had it for probably 15-20 years. It’s well-loved for sure.” Joel says, sitting back in his rocking chair and sighing. Your eyebrows quirk as you rest your cheek against your knees.

“Man, you’ve really been here for a long time then, huh?”

Joel nods, looking at you getting comfy on his couch. There goes that feeling he can’t place. “Yeah, ‘bout 25 years at this point. I was 25 at the time I started here actually. Karla didn’t even own the place yet, it was her daddy’s. Once he passed, she took over and I stayed. She tried to convince me to stay, but she didn’t have to do that. This was my home at that point too.” He pauses, sipping his drink. “She was a good friend. Wasn’t too much older than me.” You listen intently as Joel speaks, not knowing any of this.

You nod, “Wow, I had no clue. Karla seemed like a good woman.”

“She was. Had her issues as we all do. But I enjoyed her company. But… here I am 25 years later. No kids, no wife. Just all these damn cows and chickens and horses. Don’t tell Estrella I said that.” Joel says, mentioning one of the cows in the barn. You laugh, telling him a quick ‘of course not’.

A comfortable silence falls between you two for a while. It’s only then you notice that Joel’s record player is going, playing some soft country song in the background. You breathe out, your eyes growing heavy. Your mind drifts back to Joel’s words. No wife, no kids. He’s been alone the last 25 years?

“So… You said you don’t have a wife or any kids? Any particular reason?” As you ask this, regret fills your body. It’s probably a sensitive subject for Joel. God, you are such an idiot-

“Not really. Just… never found the time.” Oh.

You nod again as he speaks, waiting for him to continue. “I wanted to at one point. It’s kinda hard to date when the only people around you are a lesbian or… furry. Don’t get me wrong… I’d find myself up at Jimmy’s old bar and maybe meet a girl, take her home for the night… but it never went further. You kinda lose track of time after a while. Then 25 years pass and you’re pushin’ 50 and it’s like… damn. Where’d the time go?”

Your heart breaks as you hear his words, but you can also understand. Time does move quickly and if you don’t pay attention, you lose it.

“Hmm… well, don’t give up hope. You never know what could happen.” You say with a soft smile. Joel laughs again and you can’t say that you hate it. It’s nice.

“What?” You laugh along with him, “You don’t know what could happen! You could always try a dating site. They have that farmers only website which might be really good for you.”

This makes Joel laugh louder, “Sweetheart… a dating website? I don’t even have a smartphone, how do you think I’d manage that? And while it’s nice you got this sort of hope for me; I don’t mind being alone. Easier this way.” He trails off, both of your laughs dying down. You stare at Joel for a long time. Every fiber of your being screams to touch him or hug him… kiss him. There’s something about him that makes you just long for him. To take care of him. To show him what it’s like to be loved.

You try and pull yourself from your thoughts and as you go to say something, you hear your name being called from the house. Luke. Your eyes close as your stomach drops, not wanting to face reality. You sigh as you stand up and stretch, smiling anxiously at Joel who stands with you. He looks into your eyes, his sad, deep baby browns piercing at you and it takes your breath away. Not realizing it, you reach for him. You pull him against your body as you hug him. He freezes in your embrace, not sure if he should hug you back. But after a moment of contemplation, he throws caution to the wind and wraps his arms around you, holding you tight against him like he didn’t want you to go away. Like he wanted to keep you here with him. Safe in his arms.

The hug was too brief for your liking. Joel steps back first, holding you at arm's length in front of him. Luke calls your name again and you groan. You look up to Joel once more and smile. “Thank you for the nice conversation today… and the pie. I really did outdo myself, huh?”

Joel smiles back and nods, “Darlin, you put your whole damn foot into it. I can’t wait to eat another slice tomorrow. Or before bed. Who knows.”

You laugh before stepping towards the door, casting Joel a quick look and then heading back up to the house.

You feel so light and giddy from the conversation with Joel, you don’t even mind the scowl on Luke’s face as you reach the porch. “Why were you at Joel’s?” He asks, following you through the back door to the kitchen.

“I had a piece of pie. Since someone ate mine.” You reply, taking your shoes off.

Luke rolls his eyes, “Jesus, cry me a river. So glad you’re so close with that old man that he’d spare a piece of his precious cherry pie for you. I mean, fuck. He’s probably loving the attention he’s getting from you. Half his age and conventionally pretty. I’m sure he’s eating that up.”

This makes you snap.

“And so, what if he is?! God forbid someone feels good from getting some attention. We’re just talking either way, so I don’t know why this is such an issue for you. It’s not like you talk to me anymore anyways.” You seethe as tears begin to well. You sigh in frustration, hating how emotional you get when angered. Luke’s eyes soften and his shoulders fall.

“No, you’re right.” He says, causing your eyes to widen. “I’ve been neglecting you. I’ve been so stressed with work; I’ve lost sight of what’s important to me and that’s you, baby.” He continues. You feel something flutter in your chest, but you can’t tell if it’s hope or disgust.

Luke approaches you slowly, wrapping his arms around your frame as he lowers himself to your height. He peppers your face in kisses and while you don’t stop him, you don’t necessarily enjoy it. “Baby… I’m so sorry. You can forgive me, right? I swear I’ll change my ways. I’m gonna get out earlier, help make dinner and clean up then I can hold my sexy wife on the couch while we watch that trashy TV show you like. Just like we used to in the city. That sound okay?” He smiles, looking into your eyes.

You avoid his gaze for a moment before deciding to look. You can feel your heart begin to soften for him again, even if it’s slight. Which leads you to nod, causing him to break into a huge smile.

“Thank you, my love. I don’t deserve you.” He says, leaning in to kiss your lips. His kisses are rushed and urgent and his lips are chapped but too wet. You try to ignore it as his hands slide down your waist to your ass, squeezing the pajama covered flesh. You hum against his lips as your brows knit but Luke takes this as a sign to go further. You don’t have the heart to tell him no.

He leads you upstairs to your shared bed, taking your comfy pajamas off and placing you against the mattress. The next 20 minutes are filled with over-the-top grunting and touches that are too rough and once he finishes, not caring if you did or not, you roll over and force yourself to sleep. Your mind races with thoughts of Joel. His chocolate eyes, his pouty bottom lip and the way his fucking body felt against yours this evening. It was a hug. A hug! And that one instance had you nearly foaming at the mouth for more. You don’t try to push your thoughts away this time. In fact, you welcome them. And after a while, your body begins to relax enough to finally drift off.

The next few weeks are filled with much of the same. Luke’s promise to change falls through, of course. The only thing that does change is his desire for you. It’s like all he wants to do is touch you and it drives you insane. You thank God you’re on birth control, because if you were to get pregnant with his child right now… you don’t know what you’d do. Probably keel over and wait for death.

Joel is one of the only things getting you through the days. You bake a new treat almost every day, not even bothering to ask Luke if he wants to try them anymore. Instead, you take them straight to Joel. His reactions never fail to amaze you. Cinnamon bread topped with streusel? 10/10, no complaints. Jalapeno cheddar sourdough? Sent from God himself. Pumpkin cinnamon rolls with homemade cream cheese frosting? Crafted by the hands of the divines, infused with holy nectar. And he acted that way. He was visceral in the way his body reacted to the desserts and baked goods and the pride it filled you with was something else entirely. His groans of pleasure, the way he’d lean over just slightly. The way he’d look at you and you’d swear his pupils would dilate. It just… did something to you.

It was your routine. Wake up, make something delicious, go to Joel’s and eat and talk for a while, then head home before Luke gets done with work and pretend to be a happy wife. It was exhausting in that sense. You think you were happy in some way, but not because of your husband.

You don’t even know when the dynamic changed. Maybe it was when Luke’s busy season started. And busy he was. He’d even have to go into the office for a few days at a time and since it was so out of the way, he’d just get a hotel room in the city. You found yourself looking forward to his time away from the farm. Away from you. The days where you got to be you, and where you got to pretend you weren’t tied to this piece of shit husband. Where maybe you were single and enjoying the company of a man who seemed to be genuinely interested in you.

You found yourself doing other things for Joel besides giving him sweet treats here and there. Some days you’d get up when that rooster would crow and brew a pot of coffee, bringing it to him in a thermos as Fall came in full force. Or there were days where you’d pack him a lunch and bring it to the barn or stable and even eat with him while he tended to the horses, cows and chickens. You liked it. No, you loved it. You loved the simplicity of spending time with him. He was grateful for everything you said and did, and he showed that back.

Dryer crapped out on you? Joel can fix it. Pipe burst in the kitchen sink? No worries, Joel has it. The leg on your favorite dining chair is loose? Hell, Joel would probably build you a whole new set for the table.

You two were close. And when you say close, you meant it. You talked about everything under the sun. Your hopes and dreams, your fears, even the totally irrational ones. You remember laughing until you nearly peed your pants when you found out Joel was scared of mushrooms. He defended himself by saying how they grow from decay and that’s what freaked him out the most. Plus, they tasted bad. You couldn’t argue with that. You hated mushrooms too.

He never judged you and you never judged him. It was refreshing. Easy.

It was day two of three that Luke was supposed to be away for work, and you were living the high life. You slept like a rock in your shared bed, getting to actually sleep in the middle of the king-sized mattress and not tucked away into the corner, trying not to touch him. When you thought about it, it was pretty sad because when did you grow to not want your husband anymore? But you’d save those thoughts for another morning. Today was your day.

You got up at 6 am, right on the dot when that Rooster crowed, a smile on your face and spring in your step. It was peaceful getting up so early and you’d grown to love it. As you padded down the steps in the morning darkness, the sun still yet to rise, you couldn’t help but feel the excitement of getting to hand Joel his morning coffee you were about to brew him. The way his eyes would crinkle as his hand would brush against yours as you pass him the thermos. Or his low, country drawl as he’d say “Thank you, darlin’. Much obliged.”

You knew thoughts like this while married weren’t great and you did have some sort of guilt but with the way Luke had been acting over the last few months, you honestly didn’t care that much.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the kitchen as you filled the thermos to the brim. No cream, no sugar. Black. Extra strong. Just how Joel liked it. You closed the container, setting it on the counter before heading back upstairs to change for the cold morning and then you were on your way down the hill to Joel’s house.

His front porch light wasn’t on, which was out of the ordinary, but you knocked anyways. After waiting a few moments and no response, you decided to peek through the window only to be met with nothing. No lights turned on and the house was seemingly empty. Your shoulders slumped as you wondered where he could have been.

You walked around the property, checking the stables, the chicken coop, and there was no sign of him there. Last place to check was the barn which maybe you should have checked first, but oh well. Once you reached the weathered building, you pushed the doors open, noting a light on towards the far wall on the right. “Joel?” You called out.

You heard rustling as he stepped on the hay on the barn floor and shortly after, he appeared from the pen he was sitting in. His face lit up at the sight of you causing your breath to hitch and your stomach to flip. You matched his smile and walked towards him, meeting him halfway into the barn.

“Mornin’ darlin’. This for me?” Joel asks, pointing to the thermos.

“You know it is. Black coffee delivery for Joel.” You say with a playful smile, lifting the thermos up for him to grab. His grin widens, taking it from you. Your usual brush of the hands sends electric currents to every nerve ending in your body.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Much obliged. You always make my mornin’ coffee perfectly. Like my own lil’ star-biz or somethin’.” He says, opening the tin up and taking a big sip. You laugh at the mispronunciation but you don’t have the heart to correct him. That damn blush was clear as day. It seems to tint your cheeks permanently these days.

“God, I miss Star… biz... Overpriced. But you haven’t lived until you’ve had an iced peppermint tea and their pumpkin pepita loaf.” You say with a playful smile.

Joel rolls his eyes as he opens the thermos and sips it, “Pepita? They’re just making up words at this point.”

“Joel, a pepita is a pumpkin seed.” You grin. Joel feels that familiar bloom in his chest and he sighs as his cheeks grow hot. He mumbles something about how he knew that and how he was just trying to be funny, but you know better. Joel shuts the thermos and takes in your face for a moment. The way your eyelashes brush against your cheeks as you close your eyes to giggle and shake your head at him nearly makes him dizzy. He clears his throat, time moving normally again as he grabs your hand and pulls you to the back of the barn. “C’mere, wanna show you somethin’.”

Now, it’s your turn for your face to burn. Your heart races as his hand grips yours tightly and you’re not sure what to expect. But when he pulls you into the pen, and you see Estrella laying there, you settle down.

Joel drops your hand and squats down next to her, rubbing her back softly. The way he’s so incredibly gentle makes you smile. You squat next to him, following his hand and petting her too. “She’s so soft… been here on this farm for a few months now and this is the first time I’m really getting to pet her.”

Joel smiles too, his eyes watching your hand. “Better be soft with that damn $60 shampoo I use on her.” Joel pauses, moving back to the wood bench against the barn wall. “She’s about to give birth. Probably in a couple hours ‘er so.” He says, rubbing his tired eyes.

You look at Joel in surprise, “What? I didn’t even know she was expecting. Did you tell Luke?”

Joel nods, “Mhm. Told him when y’all got to the farm. Not surprising he didn’t say anything though. Not like he takes care of the animals. Or… anything around here.”

It’s true. Luke didn’t take care of anything around here like he told his family he would. And well, neither did you, but in some sort of way, you liked to think you took care of Joel. Luke took care of the bills though, for the most part. He paid… the electric bill, you think? The rest was pretty much paid for thanks to the house having been paid off decades ago. You sigh, deciding to sit next to Joel on the bench.

“Sorry… we’re bad farm owners, aren’t we?” You ask. Joel closes his eyes and smiles, breathing out a breathy laugh and you can’t help but smile too.

“Maybe a little. But that’s okay. ‘Least you’re pretty. Real nice to look at and such.” He slips, his brows shooting up into his hairline as he flushes.

You almost miss it. You almost miss him calling you pretty until it reregisters in your mind, and you swear you can hear your heart pounding in your ears. You don’t say anything for a good moment, not knowing what to say. Silence fills the barn, despite the sound of Estrella breathing heavily through her labor pains. Or maybe those were yours.

It’s like your body ignites, and you desperately want Joel to touch you. You don’t have the energy to fight the guilty thoughts of how you shouldn’t be thinking these things about another man that isn’t your husband. You don’t care anymore. But that doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it. You nod slowly, still not sure what to say, but you know if you don’t put some distance between the two of you; you’re gonna break.

You stand and wipe your sweaty palms on your leggings before turning at Joel and smiling softly. “I’m… I’m gonna head inside for a bit, get some laundry done. Let me know if you need any help with Estrella, okay?” You don’t wait for Joel to respond as you head towards the barn’s entrance. Desperate to get away, you pick your steps up, but Joel has other plans. You only get halfway across the barn before he grabs your hand once more and you don’t pull away.

You utter his name softly, and Joel can’t help the way it makes his heart race and his pants tighten. Your fingers feel smooth against his rough, calloused ones and he squeezes them slightly. His breath’s come in heaves and you find yours to be matching. You’re terrified to turn around, but his other hand touches your hip, urging you to face him. So, you do.

“Joel…” You say again and it’s like music to his ears. His big hand grips at your waist desperately, like he doesn’t want you to leave. Like you’ll disappear. His other hand drops your own and finds solace on the other side of your waist. His gaze is intense, but you don’t dare look away now.

“’M sorry.” He says, causing your brows to knit.

“Why?”

“For callin’ you pretty.” He speaks. You can tell he’s nervous. You can tell by the slight twitch in his hands as his fingers fight the urge to dig into your skin. Or the way his voice trembles. It makes you want him to take you right here and now.

“Why would you be sorry about that?” You ask, finding yourself slipping closer and closer into him.

“Shouldn’t be callin’ a married woman pretty. Shouldn’t be touchin’ her like this neither.” Joels hands squeeze again slightly, and you practically moan. Your lips part as that familiar ache continues to build between your legs and you don’t know how much more you can take.

“Well,” You begin, debating your next words carefully, “Maybe a married woman shouldn’t be letting a man that’s not her husband call her pretty or touch her like this… but here we are.”

Joel’s lips quirk up softly, pulling you closer to him. His firm chest presses against your breasts and the close vicinity begins to drive you crazy. You take a slow and steady breath, trying to calm your nerves but then one of Joel’s hands leaves your waist and runs up your neck to your cheek. Your eyes don’t drift from one another’s, but it doesn’t make you feel small. Not like how you’d feel under Luke’s gaze. You feel empowered. Like Joel actually wants you. Because he does.

Joel’s chest rises and falls as his hands caress your jaw, his thumb padding over the delicate skin of your cheek. You instinctively lean into it, pressing against his palm as your eyes close. Joel fights every urge to lean in and kiss you, but he won’t yet. You haven’t given him the okay.

Your hand comes up, gripping around his wrist as you hold his hand to you. You don’t want him to move it. He wasn’t going to anyway. Your eyes flutter open and see the desire written all over Joel’s face. A small puff of air escapes your mouth, and you pout.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, huh?” You ask, your voice tiny and worried.

Joel sighs too, blinking a couple of times. “No, probably not. Shouldn’t be touchin’ you like this, but, Jesus… don’t know if I can stop.” He pauses for a moment and when you don’t say anything and you don’t move, he speaks again. “Please… tell me to stop.”

Your heart lurches in your chest and you suddenly lose the ability to speak so you just shake your head instead. Your other hand rises to meet Joel’s neck, and you pull him in closer to you. You feel his breath on your lips and it smells like coffee. You catch yourself relaxing as your eyes trail down to Joel’s mouth. You’ve never wanted to kiss someone as bad as you do him.

“Please… baby girl… tell me to stop.” He asks again and you shake your head once more, this time words find you. Well, word.

“No.” Is all you say and Joel practically groans. His hand on your hip pulls your body flush against him, fully pressed against his frame. Your eyes widen as you feel his length press against your leg and your breath catches in your throat.

“Gonna tell me to stop, now?”

You gulp.

“… No.”

Joel nods as he realizes this is happening. He leans in closer, “Okay. Can I… kiss you?”

Your eyes widen only slightly as you think it over. You want him to kiss you more than anything but once you do, it’s over. The line will have been crossed. You’ll be a cheater. But the way he’s looking at you, and the way he’s asked so nicely… you couldn’t say no.

“Yes.” You breathe.

“Okay.” He mumbles, wasting no time to press his lips against yours.

Joel is an intense man, and his kisses are no different. His movements are desperate and hungry, like he’s a man starved. He probably is. It’s been so long since he’s felt the touch of a woman. But you don’t mind it. In fact, you welcome it. He kisses you with such need it takes away and oxygen in your lungs. Like he’s been thinking about doing this forever. Maybe he has, you don’t know.

Your arms wrap around his neck as his hand at your waist holds you still, the one on your jaw trails down to your hip. He guides you backwards, your back meeting the wall of the tattered barn. You’re trapped between the two, but you have no time to think about that. You think about how perfect his lips feel against your own and how smoothly they move with yours. How natural. You don’t realize the tiny whimpers that escape your lips until Joel pulls back, grunting softly.

“Baby girl… fuckin’ hell. Those sweet noises you’re makin’ are gonna drive me crazy.” He huffs against your lips, making sure he’s not away from them for too long.

Your tongues tangle and your mind goes blank. You taste the bitter black coffee on him and it becomes addicting. You don’t even like coffee. Your head spins and reels and you find yourself slipping which you don’t mind. Joel could fuck you on this dirty barn floor and you’d thank him as you picked the hay out of your hair later. But he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t like you slipping away from him. He parts your legs with his knee, his thigh resting between them so he can prop you up. So you can’t go anywhere.

His fingers glide under your sweater, seeking the warmth of your skin. He trails his cold digits up your tummy until they reach your bra. But he doesn’t go any higher than that. The chill of his hands leaves a wake of goose bumps, causing your nipples to harden and you’re practically moaning at this point. He’s barely even touched you.

“Please… Joel, please.” You beg. “Please, fucking touch me.”

Joel keels over slightly, pressing you against the wall even harder. “Fuck… want me to touch you, baby? Where? Tell me.”

“Anywhere.” You rasp, feeling more desperate than he is at this point.

Joel laughs softly, “Uh-uh… gotta be more specific.” His fingers trail further down, tracing random shapes around your navel.

You groan, feeling helpless. You want him everywhere. You want his fingers in your mouth, or his mouth on your breasts, or his cock stuffed inside you. Fucking anything.

Joel smirks again, raising his knee up higher until he hits your core. The small bump of his thigh against your clothed pussy pulls another whimper from you and it sparks something inside Joel. “Like that, darlin’? Like when your cunt rubs up against my thigh like that?”

Words fail you again and you nod, your hips instinctively bucking against it.

“That’s it… usin’ me like that. Makin’ yourself feel good for me. Let me see you move, pretty girl.”

Joel steadies you as you begin to rock your hips against his thigh. You ignore the way your panties stick to you and the way your leggings are just soaked at this point. You’re sure if you were to look down at Joel’s jeans, you’d see evidence of it all there too.

He moves his hands again, trailing one back up to your bra and slipping underneath it. He grabs at your breasts, his grip needy and clumsy. It brings you back to reality for a moment as you giggle. “Joel… calm down. I’m not going anywhere.”

Joel’s face reddens and he slows his movements, his thumb padding over your hard nipple. “Sorry, baby girl… It’s just…” He sighs, leaning down and kissing your lips again. It’s soft and sweet and all too quick. “It’s just I don’t know if I’ll ever get this opportunity again. Don’t know if I’ll ever get to touch you like this. Like I been wantin’.”

Your heart swells as you look up to Joel, a goofy smile plastered on to your face. “Like you’ve been wanting? And how long has that been?” You ask, pulling him back down to you to smooch his lips. He sighs, closing his eyes and savoring your affection.

“Since the night you showed up to mine in that silk nightgown of yours.” Joel mumbles against your mouth, pecking you slowly and languidly. It’s almost disorienting as he does it over and over again. Finally, after a moment he stops. “You looked so fuckin’ beautiful that night. Sweaty, nervous, lil’ irritated. I wanted to kiss your lips as soon as you sat on that couch of mine. But I needed to kiss you the moment I saw them big alligator tears wellin’ up in your eyes when I sang you that George Jones song. Never seen someone so pretty cryin’ like that.” He utters, nuzzling his nose against yours.

You can’t speak. You feel like all the air has whooshed out of your lungs as you look into Joel’s eyes. They’re dilated. His eyes are usually dark but they’re almost black at this point. Your arms stay firmly planted around Joel’s neck, fingers lacing through the soft curls at the bottom. He’s nervous again. You don’t want him to be.

“Joel… you telling me you want to do this again then?” You ask, pressing a tiny kiss to the tip of his nose. He closes his eyes and sighs.

“Baby… I want to do this and so much more with you. I want whatever you want to give to me.” Another peck to your lips. “As long as it’s with you, I want it.”

“Well, what do you want right now?”

“I want to make you come.”

Your eyes widen slightly at his words, mouth going dry. His hand on your hip urges you to start moving again. To start fucking yourself against his thigh. You listen.

Your hands trail from his neck to the front of his jacket, gathering the fabric in your fists as you hold him close. Your hips start to buck once Joel pushes his knee up to the perfect height, his thigh settled in between your folds. You begin to rock back and forth, the lack of distance between you two causing the most delicious friction. Your clit presses against the fabric, and you moan softly, whimpering his name and you swear it’s like he’s heard the voice of God himself.

“Fuckin’ music to my ears. Best song I’ve ever fuckin’ heard. Don’t stop. Keep goin’, my sweet girl.” Joel says, leaning down to tangle his tongue with yours again. You moan into his mouth, your hips bucking faster as you chase that high that’s embarrassingly close. But the way he’s talking to you, the way he’s touching you so intimately, and the way your clit is pressed perfectly up against his thigh, you never stood much of a chance to begin with.

“Joel…” You whisper, your voice shaking.

“I know, baby, I know. I got you. Fuck…” He hushes back. This is clearly affecting him too. You look down at where your bodies connect and sure enough, the leg of his jeans is soaked, but to the right, just where his groin sits, another wet patch is forming. It’s small, but it’s there. Your breath catches as your head falls back slightly, allowing Joel’s lips to attach themselves to your neck. He tongues the skin up and down your pulse point, not daring to leave a mark. Yet.

“Taste so good. Bet the rest of you tastes even better. Fuck, I’m gonna be addicted. Already am.” Joel’s words push you closer and closer, your hips rocking back and forth quicker. Pretty little whimpers fall from your tongue as your fists ball tighter against his jacket. Joel moans too, his grunts getting louder, more animalistic.

“Joel, ‘m gonna… gonna come.” You manage to get out. Joel’s hand on your hip reaches around to the small of your back, coaxing you to ride faster, harder. His other hand drops from your bra, pulling your head to his so he can kiss you through it.

“Go ahead, baby. Come for me. Fuck-” Joel mumbles against your lips, swallowing the little noises you make. He’s acting like he’s not too far behind as well. You’re not even touching him and he’s on the verge of coming. Just by making you come.

With your hips moving just a few more times, the coil in the pit of your stomach begins to snap, your eyes shutting tightly as you see white, hot lightning behind them.

“God. Oh, fuck. Joel…” You murmur, your head falling forward to bury your face in his chest. But he doesn’t allow that. Joel grabs your hair from the back and tugs it softly, wanting to see your face as you come.

“That’s it. My pretty girl, holy fuck. Ah, shit…” He grunts, his breath stuttering as his own head leans into your neck. His grip on your hair and waist becomes a vice, holding you to him as you think he finishes in his pants.

You breathe heavily, coming down from your high as you pull back, Joel’s grip on you lessening. His face is beat red, and he can’t meet your gaze.

“Joel, did you- did you…?” You ask cautiously, eyes shining with amazement.

Joel grunts again, one of his hands coming up to wipe his brow. “Shit, yeah. I did.” His gaze finally meets yours and you break into a grin, letting out a breathy laugh. He smiles with you, “Got me feelin’ like a damn teenage boy over here. Can’t believe I did that.”

You shake your head, still smiling. “Don’t go feeling embarrassed on me, Joel. That was… the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Your words are quiet, but you mean them. Eyes trailing down to where the small wet spot on his crotch used to be, now a bigger patch. You can’t help but run your fingers over it. Joel groans softly, leaning slightly into you from how sensitive he still is.

“Baby girl… watch it.” He stumbles, his breath picking back up.

You smile, “Waste it was in your pants… should have been inside my mouth. Or my pussy.” You don’t know where your confidence comes from. Maybe it’s because you made a grown man come in his pants just by watching you come on his thigh. But, nonetheless, you’re feeling good.

Your fingers continue to tease the wet spot on his groin, and you find yourself wanting to taste him. No, needing to taste him. Joel catches on to your thought process and even though he feels like he might pass out with how badly he needs you; he pushes through.

“Wanna taste, darlin’?” He hushes; lips pressed to your jaw. You nod.

“Please, Joel?” You ask in a small voice, the desire in it setting him alight.

It causes Joel to almost whimper, and he pulls back. His thigh drops from between your legs and the wet spot that’s accumulated on your leggings goes cold. You shiver slightly, missing his heat against you. Joel watches you for a moment before sighing. He wants to continue. He wants to fuck you in this barn and make you his, filling your sweet pussy up with his seed. Maybe knock you up so you can never leave him. Joel knows that’s not an option, but fuck, does he wish. He knows needs to cool it down a bit.

“You should head inside, take a shower er somethin’.” He speaks. Your brows knit together, shoulders falling slightly. You don’t want to leave his side. You don’t want this moment to end.

“I’ll be in in a bit. Don’t wanna be away from you for too long.” Your heart races at his words as he steps closer, placing his hands on either side of your cheeks. He leans down, kissing you deeply. It takes your breath away. It’s nothing like you’ve ever felt before, and it scares you. You can absolutely see yourself becoming addicted to this. You probably already are.

“Go to mine. Shower there. I’m gonna check on Estrella and then I’ll be in, okay? Won’t be away too long.” He says, backing up. You nod, muttering a quiet okay.

As you walk out of the barn, casting one last glance in his direction, he smiles. Your throat restricts and you march on forth to his little house on the property. All thoughts of Luke and your marriage are gone. As far as you were concerned, you were Joel’s. If he wanted you, that is. But you had an inkling there was a very good chance that was the case.

You reached Joel’s home and let yourself inside. It was funny to you he said to shower here when your house was only up the hill. But you weren’t going to deny him that. Plus, this was a good chance to look around the place. You’d only seen the living room which is crazy cause you were here often. You walked through the entrance, taking in the familiar plaid covered couch and the record player towards on the opposite side of it. Many mornings were spent here with Joel just chatting and laughing, listening to his collection of different records. Most of them were older county artists but you knew Joel was partial to 90’s alternative like Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters. Which surprised you, but it also made complete sense.

Stepping forward, the door off to the left of the entrance was slightly open. Curiosity piqued so you glanced in. His bedroom. Your eyes widened slightly, opening the door a bit more as you gazed around the neat room. His bed was the only thing unkempt. No clothes littered the ground, his self-care items which consisted of a jar of lotion, deodorant and probably a 15-year-old bottle of cologne were aligned neatly on the dresser. You smiled to yourself, shutting the door as you continued your trek to the bathroom. The hallway only had two doors and one opening which led to the kitchen. You assumed the one at the end of the hallway was a closet and upon opening it, you were right. So, the room next to it was the bathroom. You grabbed a towel and on you went.

Pale teal tile floor with weathered white walls. The tub was a weird shade of green which seemed to be a common theme among the property. Must have been Karla’s favorite color. It was small and cozy, like the rest of the house, and it filled you with comfort you hadn’t felt in months. You were in Joel’s space and it all just felt so him. You really could get used to it all.

Pulling back the translucent white shower curtain, you noted Joel had actual shampoo and conditioner and not a 3-In-1 like Luke used. Fuck, he even had body wash. You smile again and turn the hot water on before pulling the drain to let the shower run. It felt so good to strip out of your wet leggings and the rest of your clothes and it felt even better stepping into the steaming shower. Near scalding water cascaded down your back and you hummed in delight, letting it soak your skin. This was nice.

As you reached for the shampoo, deciding it was best to get the barn smell off you, you hadn’t noticed someone stepping into the bathroom with you. As you hummed to yourself, lathering the tea tree scented shampoo, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Your eyes widened as you jumped with a yelp, turning slightly. Of course it was Joel.

“Joel! Jesus, you scared me.” You breathed.

Joel smiles, “Sorry darlin’. You were too busy hummin’ and using up all my shampoo to notice. This uh, this okay?” He says, nodding between the two of you. You nod back.

“Yeah, yeah… ‘course it is.” Realization sets in that you’re naked in the shower with Joel right now. Yeah, he’d made you come on his thigh in the barn, but this was a whole new level. Joel notices your nerves and he kisses your shoulder.

“Don’t gotta do nothin’, sweetheart. Just wanna be by you.” He speaks.

Your heart melts and you nod, relaxing into his touch. You turn in his arms and breathe out a laugh, “Want me to wash your hair?”

Joel’s eyes widen slightly, and he pauses before nodding. “Okay, go ahead.”

His arms fall from around your waist, but he doesn’t stop touching you. His hands linger around your hips and tummy, fingertips grazing the soft skin like he’s addicted. He is.

You reach for the shampoo, squirting a little in your hands and lathering them until they’re sudsy. Joel dips his head under the water, wetting his hair and you reach up, rubbing it through. It’s intimate in the way his eyes close, his hand planting against you, holding himself still. You can’t help but look down and see he’s hard, but he doesn’t make it a big deal. You wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t looked.

“Okay, let’s rinse you.” You hum softly.

He leans forward, the water flowing on to him as the shampoo falls into the drain. You wash it until the water runs clear and then wipe his face so when he opens his eyes, he doesn’t get anything in them. Your heart pounds at how personal this is; how close he is.

You take in every detail on his face, like his little sun freckles and his deep-set lines in the corners of his eyes. He has long eyelashes that droplets kiss and you feel like you’re in a daze. He has a scar on his nose and the most kissable bottom lip and the most wonderful facial hair-

“Darlin’?” Joel says, eyes locked on to yours, “You okay?”

Your eyes widen and you can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips before blowing a raspberry, “Oops, you caught me. You’re so pretty I got caught up.”

Joel laughs and trails his hand up your waist, right under the swell of your breast, “Pretty? First time I’ve heard that one, I think. Not nearly pretty as you are, though.” He grins.

Your eyes roll, “So cheesy.”

“Yeah, I know you like it. Can’t deny it by the cute lil’ blush of yours. You always look so damn happy to see me.” Joel says, his other hand cupping your jaw as he looks into your eyes.

You swallow harshly, unable to look away. “That’s because I am always happy to see you. I like you.”

“I like you too,” He breathes, causing your heartbeat to stop in your chest and start somewhere else, “A whole lot.”

Silence fills the bathroom despite the sound of the water that’s now going cold. Joel’s thumb caresses your bottom lip for a moment, and you think he’s going to kiss you.

“Let’s finish up. Water’s growin’ cold on us. I wanna get you all warm and snuggled up.”

“In your bed?” You ask, eyes wide.

“Yes. In my bed.”

“Okay.”

You heart reignites as the beat in your pussy quickens. Joel’s hands roam your body, lathering both of you in the sea salt scented body wash before rinsing you off and stepping out of the shower. He wraps you in the plush gray towel after drying your hair a bit. You don’t have to do anything. It’s… surreal. You’ve never had this kind of care and attention.

You follow behind Joel shyly, almost intimidated by the intimacy of it all. Both of you are towel wrapped and damp as you step into Joel’s room. He switches the bed side lamp on and you hug the towel closer to you as you watch Joel move to rummage through his drawers. He grabs you a big shirt and a pair of his boxers, slipping on some himself. All this is done in silence, and it scares you how comfortable it is. How natural.

You walk over to the bed, getting dressed in Joel’s clothes as you sit on the edge, waiting for him to do anything. To say anything. He doesn’t for a while.

Finally, Joel turns to face you, a small smile on his face. “What ya so quiet for?”

You shrug, biting back the grin that fights through. “I dunno… I’m a little nervous I guess.”

Joel’s eyebrow quirks, nodding slowly. He makes his way next to you and sits on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips and you look over to his face. He’s just so fucking handsome.

“Well… what do you think you’re nervous about? Luke finding out?” He asks, his voice gentle.

You shrug again, “Maybe. But that wasn’t my first thought.”

Joel’s eyebrows knit together, “Then what was?”

A long sigh escapes your mouth, and you look away for a moment before looking back, “Why does this all feel so natural with you?”

“What do you mean?”

You sigh again, “I mean… we just showered together, and you were hard the entire time, but you didn’t even kiss me. You dried my hair and my arms and legs when we got out and then wrapped me in a towel. You gave me your clothes to wear to get comfy in bed with you and neither one of us batted an eye at how smoothly it flowed. It’s… weird”

“It’s weird?” He asks, reiterating your words.

“Well, not weird. But also, it kinda is. I’ve… I guess I’ve just never had that, so I don’t know how to react.” You say nervously. You decide to keep your eyes away from Joel as everything begins to feel too much.

He nods, humming softly, “So, you’ve never took a shower with Luke before?”

“I have, of course. But it’s always involved sex. It’s never washing each other's bodies and not even kissing. You touched my ass only to wipe the soap off it.” You say humorously.

Joel laughs, “What, did you want me to leave it there?”

Your eyes roll and you shake your head. “That’s not the point. Why is it so easy with you?”

Joel’s eyes soften and he shakes his head himself. He looks at you in your body, clad with his white fruit-of-the-loom t-shirt and faded red boxers and he shrugs. “Don’t know, darlin’. I really don’t.” He leans in as he sees your shoulders fall and he brushes some of your damp hair behind your ear. “Not everything needs to make sense. Or needs to be made sense of. Sometimes it’s just how it is.”

He leans in and presses a chaste kiss under your ear and two more along your jaw. Your eyes close as you breathe out, savoring his touch. His lips trail down to your chin and along your neck before pecking their way back up. Before his lips can meet yours, you speak. “Are we bad people?”

“No.” he says, no hesitation in his voice as he kisses the corner of your mouth.

“But Joel-”

“But nothin’,” Joel says pulling back slightly, “You are not a bad person for not being in love with your husband. He’s… He doesn’t treat you well, baby girl. There’s been so many nights I’ve heard him hollerin’ about things to you from all the way down the hill. He’s distant, he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve, and he’s a fuckin’ child in a man's body. You hear me?” He huffs, sitting back up and running a hand through his hair. He looks back down to you, your gaze still anywhere but him.

It’s silent for a while, this time less comfortable. Joel breathes in, his chest tightening with nerves. “Leave him.” He speaks. Your eyes widen and you stare at him for a long time, mouth open in shock. Leave him? What?

“Joel, you don’t know what you’re asking.” You say, he scoffs.

“Yes, I do. Leave Luke.” He rebuts.

“And what? Be with you?”

“Yes. Would that be so bad?”

Your eyes widen again, and tears brim your lash line, “No. It wouldn’t be.”

Joel’s lips form a thin line, “Then leave him.”

You sigh, your eyes closing. You can’t leave Luke. Where would you go? You have nothing without him. You don’t have a job, you don’t have a car, you’re in the middle of nowhere. Luke wouldn’t sign the divorce papers too, you’re sure of it. He’d throw a fit and then convince you to stay and you’d give in, living out the rest of your days unhappy with a man you can’t stand.

You stand up, a single tear rolling down your cheek. Joel panics and grabs your hand, holding you from going anywhere. His chest tightens and his eyes widen. You can’t go. Not yet anyways. He just got you.

“Baby, please… Please. Stay with me. Just for now.” The desperation in his voice is palpable and you falter immediately.

“I wasn’t going to leave, I just… I needed to do something. I’m anxious.” You say, your body twisting to face him.

Joel stares at you, his grip on your hand unrelenting. The way your eyebrows are tense in the middle has him anxious too. He pulls you to him with this gentleness that makes your body cave. You find yourself on his lap, hands on his chest as he holds you to him. Your eyes linger on your hands and then the expanse of his torso. He doesn’t have a shirt on, and you hate how distracting it is. How wonderful the hair that litters his skin feels against your palms. The swell of his pecks and how soft yet firm they are. His heartbeat in his chest that’s going two hundred miles per hour and how you find yours to be matching.

Joel brings one of his hands up to your head, moving the hair from your face.

“Look at me,” He breathes. His tone is light and almost like a whisper, “Please, my pretty girl.”

“Your pretty girl?” You ask, gaze meeting his. The corners of his eyes crinkle slightly as he grins.

“Yes. I don’t care what you say, darlin’. I don’t care if you leave Luke or stay with him. You’re mine and I… I reckon you’ve been mine for a long time now.”

Your eyes close and you nod, leaning your head on Joel’s shoulder. He’s right. It’s been a few months of you and Joel getting to know each other better but every day you find yourself slipping more. It was only a matter of time before this happened. Before both of you fell completely.

It was crazy to you. Yeah, you felt guilty for it in the beginning. Guilty for the way you’d go to bed and dream of how you’d get to see Joel the next morning. Guilty for the way you’d wake up early and make coffee for another man while your husband slept peacefully, oblivious to your feelings. Only kind of guilty for the times Joel would be busy, and you couldn’t bother him. So, you’d slip into your bedroom and touch yourself to the memories of his voice and laugh and the way he looked at you; the way he’d hug you before heading out to do his duties. But never guilty for how intoxicating you found him to be. How addicted you found yourself to be.

“Yeah… I think so too. Guess you’ve been mine for a while too?” You ask, your nose prodding his collarbone softly. He smiles, his hand on your waist trailing to your ass and squeezing it slightly, pulling you closer.

“Been yours longer than you been mine, that’s for sure. I wanted you that first night you guys got here. Looked so fuckin’ pretty.” He mumbles, turning his head into your hair. He could live here like this forever and be happy. He’d never asked for anything, never want for nothing. Just being with you here on this farm. He was convinced that’s what heaven looked like.

“Joel…” You whimper at his words, one of your hands trails up to his neck as your lips find it too. You press them against his skin, eliciting a hiss from him. His hand grips your ass harder, spreading your cheeks slightly.

“Yeah, baby girl? Feelin’ needy?” He asks, burying his face into the side of your head. You open your mouth, tongue snaking out to taste him. You want to mark him, have him wear your sigil around the farm. Not like anyone would see. Luke probably wouldn’t even notice.

Your lips plant themselves around his skin, sucking slightly and nipping at it. Joel’s breath catches in his throat, and he stutters, “Jesus fuck- darlin'. What do you think you’re doin’?” he asks, eyes shut as he leans his head back, granting you better access.

You hum, continuing your assault against his neck. Below you, Joel’s cock grows, poking against your thigh. You place open-mouthed kisses, and little love bites up to his jaw before pulling back to look at your work. You grin, eyeing all the small red marks beginning to darken. Joel shakes his head smiling, dilated eyes locked on yours. “Better hope your no-good husband don’t see these.”

You smile back, “He won’t. He’s too fucking oblivious. He doesn’t even know his wife is in their bed touchin’ herself to another man every night.”

This knocks the wind out of Joel’s lungs completely, his eyes widen, and you think he might actually black out for a second. You steady him with a small grin, shaking his head a little. “You okay?”

It takes Joel another couple seconds to respond, blinking back his glazed over eyes, “Oblivious to what, darlin’? To his wife doin’… what?”

You laugh, leaning down to peck the tip of Joel’s nose, “You heard me, Miller.”

“I don’t think I did, pretty girl. Think you should say it again so I can make sure I heard correctly.” He says, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you flush against his erection. Your walls part, feeling the hardened length against your core through his boxers.

You can’t think straight as the sensation of Joel gently rocking his hips upward sends you feral. Your grip on him tightens, “I-I said… Luke is too fucking oblivious to the fact that I’m touching myself to the thought of you every night. I make myself come every night to the thought of you and what it would be like for you to fuck me. How it would be to have your cock stuffed inside me. That clear enough for you?”

Joel huffs, his cock twitching against your heat, “Clear as crystal, baby girl.” His lips connect to yours and it takes your breath away. You’ve said it before, but Joel is just so intense. His kiss is powerful and full of force and it’s utterly intoxicating. You don’t want it to end, but Joel pulls back.

“Wanna know somethin’?” He asks. You nod. “You know how many times I’ve touched myself in the last few months to you?”

Your eyes widen as you bite back a smirk, deciding to relax more into his touch. You place your weight on his lap, his cock bumping your folds in a way that makes him groan. “Yeah? You been touching yourself to me too, Joel?”

“Yeah. Touched myself that first night you came here. When I say you looked so fuckin’ pretty cryin’ like that… I meant it. You went back up the hill and I sat right there in my chair. Couldn’t get out of my jeans fuckin’ fast enough. You got no idea the effect you have on me, do you?” Joel says, nuzzling his nose against yours pecking your lips in sequence a couple times.

You feel drunk. That’s the best way you could put it. You felt drunk on Joel’s needy hands and sinful words, and you’d be damned if you didn’t keep on drinking.

You gulp, “Why don’t… why don’t you show me just how much I affect you then.”

Joel looks into your eyes, looking for any reservations but he sees none. He feels a lump in his throat form, and he really doesn’t want this to end. A part of him wishes Luke would just not come back. That’d he stay far away and leave this farm and you to him. He takes care of both better than anyone else could, especially that poor excuse of a man. Joel wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he wouldn’t mind if Luke just up and died. That way he could never interfere again. As far as Joel was concerned the farm was his, and so were you. It made sense to him. Just as the sun comes up in the morning and sets at night. You were Joel’s and he was yours.

“Show you? Want me to show you how much I want you? How much I fuckin’ need you, sweet girl?” He asks, voice dripping with lust. You nod, words failing you. Seemed to be a common theme around him.

Joel smiles, “Okay, my baby. My pretty girl. You’re mine, aren’t you, darlin’?”

You shudder out a breath, his possessive words going straight to your core, “Joel, yes. I’m yours.”

Joels grip tightens and has you grind down against his cock that’s so painfully hard, “Only mine? No one else?”

You moan, a real moan and it has Joel reeling. “Only fucking yours. Please, Joel… I need you.”

“That’s all you had to say.” He says as he stands up, pushing you off his lap. You shiver from the lack of heat, but he turns to you and nods to the bed, “up against the headboard.”

You listen immediately, nearly stumbling to get on to the bed. Joel follows you, settling in next to you. He covers your bodies with the comforter, and your eyebrows knit together. You watch him fluff up his pillow and then lay against it, sighing as he closes his eyes. What?

“Uh, Joel? What… Are you doing?” You ask.

“Hm? Takin’ a nap. I’ve been up since four in the morning, darlin’. Ol’ Joel’s tired.” He says, eyes closing again.

You laugh, “What? But what about-”

“In a couple hours, we’ll get up. I'll check on Estrella, come back here, and I’ll make you dinner. Then after it’s all said and done, I’ll fuck you. Real good too.”

Your breath catches and you nod, “Okay.”

Joel extends his arm to you, and you lean into him. You place your head on his chest, his arm wrapping around you and holding you to him tightly. He didn’t want you to go anywhere. You weren’t going to.

It was crazy to you how quickly you fell asleep. As soon as Joel started to rub the skin on your forearm and his breathing began to even out, you were knocked. It was a quick nap, probably only an hour instead of the couple he promised. But you didn’t mind. Just meant you were closer to him fucking you.

Joel wakes up first, breathing out heavily as he moves from under you, trying so very carefully not to wake you up. But as soon as you felt the lack of body heat, you were wide awake.

“Where are you going?” You mumble, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Joel smiles, slipping on his jeans and a shirt.

“Goin’ to check on Estrella. She should be havin’ that calf any moment at this point.” He leans down and kisses your temple and then your cheek and then your lips. You exhale, loving the affection. You kiss him back, humming against him.

“Let me go with you.” Your words are quiet as you feel yourself fighting sleep, your body slumping into Joel’s bed. You couldn’t help it. You were surrounded by his scent and the lingering warmth from his side of the bed. It was all so nice. So Joel.

He chuckles, “Nah, baby girl. Get some more rest. I’ll be back in a bit, okay? My pretty girl needs her beauty sleep.”

You feel your lips quirk up softly, yawning a quick ‘okay’ before nodding back off.

It’s another few hours before your body decides it’s time to get up. As you sit up in Joel’s bed, noticing the sun going down, you hear pots and pans clanging around in the kitchen. You decide to try and gather your bearings and go check it out. The walk down his hallway is short, but you can hear him mumbling something to himself and it has you smiling. Joel is placing a pan onto the stove when he sees you from the corner of his eye. He smiles, “Mornin’, darlin. Bout time you woke up.”

You yawn, stretching slightly, “I know. I’ve been sleeping all day. I have no clue why I’m so exhausted.” You make your way over to Joel who’s lighting the burner on the stove. You wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into him, still feeling the lingering effects of your long nap. Joel chuckles, kissing the top of your head.

“Still sleepy, baby? I guess that’s what good orgasms do to ya, huh?” He teases you. You can feel your face flush as your mind travels back to your time with Joel in the barn and you smirk.

“Guess so. Wouldn’t know. Never had one until then.” You say as Joel moves from you to the fridge, inspecting it for ingredients.

“That so? Well… Looks like I’m gonna have to keep ‘em coming.” He smirks. His eyes scan the content of the fridge and there really isn’t much. He clears his throat. “So, I know I promised you dinner. But I haven’t been able to head up to the market for a bit. I could probably throw together some omelets. Cheese and… bacon? Everythin’ else is in the freezer. It’d take too long to dethaw at this point.” Joel speaks, picking up a paper sack of what he thinks is the bacon.

You watch him raid his fridge and then you clear your throat as the lightbulb in your head goes off. “That doesn’t sound too bad. But think I have a better idea.”

Joel looks over to you, shutting the fridge before crossing his arms, “Oh yeah? What do ya got in mind?”

“I went up to Leo’s market the other day. They were having a special. Buy two get one free. So, I got a pack of almonds cause they’re my favorite. I got a pack of macadamia nuts for cookies and a pack of pecans for your pie. The one you requested forever ago.”

Joel’s eyes widen and his face breaks out into a grin, “Dessert for dinner, huh?”

You shrug, “I think it’s a good time to make it. You can help me. Ever made a pie before?”

He shakes his head, “Can’t say I have, sugar. But I think I have the perfect person to teach me.”

You roll your eyes playfully, before heading towards the front door and slipping your boots on. Joel follows you.

“I’ll be right back. Just gonna go up to the house and grab the stuff.”

He nods, offering help but you tell him you’ll be fine. You head up the hill and in through the back door of the main house before scouring the kitchen for all the ingredients. It’s smells like Luke in here and it makes you queasy. You pause to take a breath. You’d really forgotten about your husband just like that. Like he was so easy to forget despite being married to him for a couple years now. You rest your palms against the counter and clear your throat as your mind just as easily drifts back to thoughts of Joel. How he’s waiting for you just down the hill. How he looks at you and how you feel around him. How he makes you feel. Happy. Safe. Satisfied. Loved. And once again, Luke is gone from your mind.

You step back from the counter and move around the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag and packing it with flour, sugar, corn syrup, cream, butter, and vanilla.

Soon enough, you’re back in the kitchen with Joel, laying out all the ingredients and getting to work. You start on the crust, combining the flour and butter into a crumbly dough and then let it rest for a bit in the fridge while you start on the filling. Joel helps you measure out the sugar, cream, and corn syrup while you crack the eggs into the bowl. You work together seamlessly, and he follows your instructions to a T. You bite your lip in concentration as you mix the pecans into the filling, folding them in delicately.

Joel watches in admiration, his eyes grazing over your face and then your body which is covered with his clothing. His. It makes his chest swell with affection and he can’t help himself from leaning over and kissing you.

The kiss takes you by surprise, but you return it immediately. You hum against his lips and place your hand on his cheek. His lips move with yours for a moment and he pulls away first, leaving you in a daze. “So fuckin’ pretty.” He hushes; his eyes still closed. You lean in and press another kiss to his bottom lip and he smiles.

“Okay, let’s finish this damn pie.” You speak. Your body feels light and fluttery almost. It’s like you don’t know how to handle all of this. All of this affection. It’s like it’s too much. But also not enough.

Joel nods, getting up to get the pie dough from the fridge. He watches you roll the crust out, cutting it to fit the pie tin, and then pour the filling into it. He watches you make a little heart made out of pecans on the top before popping it into the oven and it’s all so wonderful to him.

Joel’s never really minded being alone. He stayed busy. He had so much to do on the farm every day he really didn’t have time to think that maybe life would be better spending it with someone else. He had the animals, and at one point he had Karla. Sure, he still had those nights from time to time where he craved the heat from another body in his bed. Or maybe when his fist just wasn’t enough and he needed that slick, wet heat his hand couldn’t offer him.

But now, as he watches you move around his kitchen, baking him his favorite pie, doing the dishes, he can’t imagine it any other way. He knows he’s in too deep. You’re a married woman and he knows that, it’s just he’s fought his feelings for a long time and now? He doesn’t give a damn. He wants you. He’s convinced he needs you. If you were to leave him to go back to that piece of shit husband, he doesn’t know what it’d do to him.

Joel stands from the small dining table in the kitchen and makes his way to you. You’re stood at his sink, scrubbing at the dishes you used for the pie. He comes up from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. Your heart races at the action and you breathe out a small, “Hi.”

“Hi.” He says back simply, his eyes closing.

You peek at him from the corner of your eye and smile, “Feeling sleepy?”

He nods, “‘Lil bit. Was stressin’ over Estrella but she finally got that calf out. Both of ‘em are resting now.” Joel presses tiny kisses against your neck, and you sigh, savoring them.

“That’s good they’re both okay. I want to see the baby.” You say, turning off the water and turning in his arms to face him.

“You can. We can go see ‘em tomorrow morning. That sound okay to you?”

You shake your head yes, looking into Joel’s eyes, “Sounds fine to me.”

The smell of fresh baked pecan pie wafts through the kitchen and your eyes light up. “I think the pies done. Shall we take a look?” You ask.

“We shall.” Joel counters with his country twang and you giggle.

He opens the oven and you slip on the mitt before pulling the pie out and setting it on top of the stove. “Now we have to let it cool.”

Joel sighs impatiently, “Let it cool? We can’t cut into it now?”

“No, I mean, unless you want hot pecan sugar soup. It has to firm up!” You say, turning the oven off.

Joel groans playfully and you shake your head, “You can wait twenty more minutes, okay?”

He rolls his eyes but nods, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ve been waitin’ months anyways so what’s another twenty minutes?”

“Exactly.”

Joel moves to the sink to finish up washing the dishes while you poke and prod at the pie making sure it firms up okay. And after cleaning the kitchen, putting away the ingredients into Joel’s cabinets, and a little make out session, twenty minutes have already passed.

You pull back from Joel, his lips following yours as he isn’t quite ready to stop yet. You hush against his mouth, “Joel… you know what time it is?”

“Hmm, time for me to keep kissin’ you?” He asks, pressing his lips to yours again.

You hum, pushing him back, “Pie time.”

Joel’s eyebrows raise, “‘Fuckin’ finally.”

The two of you gather around the stove as you stick your knife into the pie and cut it into 8 big, individual slices. You take Joel’s plate and serve him first then dish up yours as well. Once back at the table you wait for him to take a bite, anticipating his reaction as nerves settle in your tummy. It’s his favorite pie so this is a big deal.

Joel sticks his fork into his slice and then into his mouth. You watch him closely as he chews a few times, anxiety creeping from your tummy to your neck. But then, his eyes close and you swear you hear him moan.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ.” He utters, his mouth still full of the pie.

Your eyes light up and you smile, “Is it good?”

Joel looks at you from the corner of his eyes and then back down to his plate, immediately shoving another bite into his mouth. He doesn’t say anything. Even when his first slice is gone and even when he finishes another one. He goes for a third and you stop him, grabbing his wrist gently.

“Joel, baby… calm down. Your pie isn’t going anywhere.” You laugh.

Joel clears his throat, a hint of red on his cheeks, “I know, darlin’. But you think that cherry pie’a yours was good? This could win contests.”

Your eyes roll and you shake your head, “You’re just saying that. You always hype my food up. It can’t all be good!

Joel looks at you incredulously, “It can’t all be good? Are you kiddin’ me? You haven’t made a bad thing yet. But this? I might need one a week. Maybe two.”

You laugh, finally taking a bite of your own slice. You were too entranced by his display of gluttony to even try it yet. But fuck, once you had a taste, you knew he was right. Your eyes fluttered shut as you savored the nuttiness from the pecans and the caramelized sugar, “Okay, you’re right. This is better than the cherry pie.”

“Pecan is always better than cherry. But you know what would taste even better?” He asks.

Your eyebrows knit together as you take another bite of pie and look at Joel, “Hmm?”

“You.”

You choke on your bite of food and look up at him, smiling as a blush creeps onto your cheeks. Joel smirks, pushing his plate aside and leaning over the table to look at you. You lock eyes for a moment, unspoken longing simmering between the both of you and without words, you both stand up. Joel grabs your hand again and pulls you back down the hallway to his room. That nervous feeling settles in the pit of your stomach again, but you push it away. Images of Luke flash in your mind from before; when he loved you. When you loved him. It was almost annoying at this point. Why did you keep thinking of him? It’d been weeks if not months you had any sort of romantic feeling for him and while you supposed some guilt still did linger, you absolutely didn’t mind the way your body thrummed with desire for Joel.

Joel doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. It’s not like anyone’s gonna hear anything or walk in on you, which at this point, you didn’t really care if they did. After this day of touches and kisses and teasing, you needed all of him.

Your body shook with nerves and adrenaline as you stepped in to Joel’s room with him. It was really going to happen. You were going to fuck this man you’d be pining for for months. Joel on the other hand, was calm and collected. He walked over to his bed, peeling back the covers before stripping himself of his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans. As he pulled the zipper down, he looked up to you, a soft smile on his lips.

“Gonna get in bed?” He asks, nonchalantly as all hell.

You twiddle your fingers as you sway from one foot to another, “I dunno. Do you want me to?”

Joel looks at you and rolls his eyes, “Darlin’…” he begins, but you cut him off.

“You gonna fuck me?”

Joel’s smile drops ever so slightly, thinking of what to say next. But it comes back as quickly as it disappears. “Gonna be disappointed if I don’t?”

You bite your lip and shrug slightly. Joel laughs, “I’ll take that as a yes then. Come ‘ere. It’s been too long since I’ve touched you.”

“You were holding my hand like maybe 2 minutes ago.” You grin softly, climbing into bed with him. His arms wrap around you, pulling you on top of him. He grunts in satisfaction as your body weight settles on his lower tummy, hands planted firmly at your hips. His thumbs rub tiny circles into your skin as he pushes your shirt over your head, exposing your bare breasts to the cold air in the room. Your nipples harden instantly and your lips part, a short puff of air escaping them. Joel’s eyes dilate as he rakes them over your skin, his hands inching up your torso until they meet the swell of your breasts.

“So fuckin’ pretty… can’t believe you want me.” He mumbles.

You scoff, a smile on your face, “What do you mean by that?”

Joels thumbs pad over your hardened nipple, causing your cunt to throb. Your hands plant themselves against Joel’s chest, your fingertips weaving between the hair that litters it.

“What I mean is… I’m old enough to be your daddy, but maybe you’re into that. Maybe you like the idea of being with an old fucker like me.”

Your eyes roll, “Yeah, that must be it. I have an old man fetish.” You shake your head and laugh, a smile on his lips as well, “But no, Joel. I think it’s actually the fact that I think you’re amazing. You are so sweet, and kind and I don’t think you realize that. I think you have this idea of yourself that you’re this rough around the edges, loner type but you aren’t. I’ve never had someone be so gentle with me. It makes perfect sense as to why I’ve fallen so hard for you.”

Joel’s fingers stop as he stares at you for a long while. Suddenly, he sits up, holding your body close to him. His arms wrap around your frame, pulling you flush against his chest as his eyes don’t leave yours. “Please… be with me.” He speaks, throat bobbing as he swallows thickly.

Your heart stills, “I am, Joel. I’m with you right now.”

“No, you know what I mean.” And you do. You absolutely know what he means. He wants you to leave Luke and be his. You want to. So desperately.

“Joel-”

“No, don’t give me that. You don’t love Luke. He doesn’t treat you well. Don’t you think being with me would be better?” He asks, his voice quiet, like he’s nervous.

“It would. It would be so much better, Joel-”

“Then leave him and be with me-” He interrupts.

“Please don’t interrupt me. I deal with enough of that from my husband.” You say in frustration, trying to pull back from him but he doesn’t let you go.

“Don’t pull away from me. You don’t have to be defensive with me. I’m sorry I interrupted you. I won’t do it again, I just… I want you, in every capacity. I want to wake up next to you, have you make me coffee every mornin’ just like you do now. I want to listen to my records with you and have you show me that Gilman Girls show you talk about all the time.” He says and you laugh softly.

“Gilmore Girls, Joel.”

“Yeah, that one. I want to have dinner with you and do the dishes together, then climb into bed so I can hold you, kiss you… so I can make love to you, and we don’t have to worry about anythin’ else. Just us.”

Your heart races and you feel tears spring to your eyes, the longing he feels for you blooming in your chest tenfold. Joel is infinitely better than Luke. In every way. He’s attentive and thoughtful and so kind it makes you lightheaded. Life here on the farm with Joel might not be so bad. You actually might enjoy it. You know you would. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind. But would you be willing to give up everything for him? You sigh, and without another beat; you speak.

“Okay.” You say, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Okay. I’ll leave Luke.”

Joel’s eyes widen and his shoulders rise and fall with the deep breaths he forces himself to take, “My sweet girl… you will?”

You nod, “Yes. I want all of that with you. I want to wake up at 5am and help you with the chickens and tend to Estrella and her calf. I want to make you treats and fatten you up with them,” Joel smiles and you do too, “I want to lay in bed with you and talk about nonsense and touch you and love you and be with you. I want to be yours, Joel. Not Luke’s. Yours.”

Joel can hear the blood rushing in his ears and he feels like he might actually combust on the spot. His heart races and he closes in on you. “Then that’s what’s gonna happen, darlin’. Just us. Just you. Just me.” Joel hushes, his lips pressing against yours.

You move with him and somehow end up with your back pressed against his plush mattress. Joel begins to remove the boxers he’d given you to wear earlier as you reach for the his jeans, pushing them down his hips fully.

“I want you.” You mumble against his lips.

“You have me, my girl.” He whispers back.

Once out of his jeans, Joel shimmies out of his boxers, leaving you both lying there naked. It’s scary how real it is. Joel is going to fuck you. You’re married and you don’t care. In your mind, your relationship with Luke has been dead for a long time. You don’t have an ounce of emotion in your body for him anymore and with ease, you forget about him once again.

Your attention switches back to Joel so naturally; so fluidly. His cock presses its head against your thigh. He’s so painfully hard you have no idea how he’s restraining himself.

“Need to be inside you, baby… but fuck, I wanna take my time with you.” He utters, his tone dripping with lust. His lips trail from yours to your jaw to your neck, not caring if he leaves marks or not. You’re leaving Luke. You’re his and he’s going to let the world know.

He moves further down, his tongue snaking in between the valley of your breasts and lower to your navel. He sucks at the skin on your tummy, marking you there as well. Another annoying blip of Luke flashes through your mind and how if he saw these marks on your body, it’d be over. It’s over anyways. Those thoughts go as quickly as they came when you realize Joel has buried his nose in the small tufts of hair that litters your skin down there. He’s like a mad man at work, huffing his way down to your folds and breathing in.

“Good God, sweet girl. Need’a taste so bad. Smell so fuckin’ divine I could lose it right now.” He speaks as his nose prods against your opening, his rough fingers meeting your walls to spread them open. His tongue dips in, licking against the swollen bud and it has you seeing stars. Your fingers lace into his hair as you keen into his ministrations, angling your hips up to his mouth.

His name litters the air as it stumbles out of your mouth over and over, like a mantra. Your whimpers of pleasure urges Joel to get more into it, sucking and flicking his tongue against your clit. His finger trails down, slipping into your soaked cunt as he begins to pump two of them in and out slowly.

“So fuckin’ wet, baby… taste like heaven.” He mumbles, his lips wrapping right back around your bud. Your brows tense as Joel curls his finger, hitting the soft spot in your pussy. Your fingers pull his hair tighter, your mouth opening as you moan silently, your orgasm embarrassingly close. He was so fucking good at this.

“Joel… fuck-Joel.”

“I know, baby, I know. I can feel you clenching around my fingers baby girl, go on and let go for me.” He hushes out, his warm breath only adding fuel to the fire. Joel’s expert tongue swirls and presses like he’s dotting his I’s and crossing his T’s and after a few more strokes of his fingers, you can’t hold back anymore.

“Fuck, I’m coming, Jo- Fuck!” You hiss through your teeth as your hands release the grip on his head and find solace on his bed sheets. Wave after wave hits you and you feel like you can’t even breathe. You try and it’s like it’s stuck in your chest. Joel doesn’t back down either, his tongue, lips and fingers all working away like he’s possessed. He’s addicted to your taste, and he’ll never give it up.

Your body begins to recoil away with overstimulation and once you whimper his name, he comes to. His head peeks up from between your legs and he smiles, his beard damp and cheeks glistening with your slick. It makes your heart skip a beat. He leans his head to your thigh and kisses it, breathing heavily himself.

Joel makes his way up your body, letting his weight down on top of you and it feels like bliss. Your arms instinctively wrap around his neck as you pull him to you. Your lips meet his as he lets your taste yourself on him, his tongue tangling with yours like it was with your clit only moments ago. He’s still hard, probably even more so as you feel it press into your still-sensitive core. His tip begins to slide between your folds, and you spread your legs wider. Joel smiles into the kiss before pulling back.

“Ready for me, baby?” He asks with such softness you can’t believe how lucky you are to be here with him right now. You nod, your eyes opening to meet his. You want to watch him as he enters you.

His gaze is tender and full of what you think could be love. You didn’t want to jump the gun and say that it was, but… if he said it to you, you might just say it back. His hand caresses your cheek as he watches you intently, like he’s dazed. You turn your head into his palm, kissing the rough skin. No words are said, and none need to be. Joel lets out a deep breath as his hand tucks some of your hair behind your ear before trailing it down to your leg and guiding it to wrap around his. His cock slips into you ever so slightly and your breath hitches.

“Please, Joel… I need you… need more.” You speak; your voice hoarse. Joel smiles, leaning down and pecking your lips once more. He nods, words failing to find him now. He looks back into your eyes and pushes his hips forward. His cock sinks into you so deliciously it has you stunned. The way the girth stretches you out feels like you were made to take it. You were made for Joel; you were sure of it.

Joel, on the other hand, was a mess. When this whole thing started, he was so calm, like he’d planned this forever. Maybe he had. He didn’t dare close his eyes, not wanting to miss a second of this as he pushed in further. Soft grunts escape him as he bottoms out and then holds it there, letting the both of you adjust.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice shaky.

You nod, “I’m perfect.”

He nods back, pulling his hips back all the way before pushing them back in. He begins to find a steady rhythm, rocking against your body and that’s when you allow your eyes to close. One of his hands meets the pillow next to your head and he moves quicker. Grunts and moans slip from him which surprise you; you didn’t expect him to be so vocal. You’re right behind him though, his name being moaned into the ether as yours drips from his mouth. He’s already close, you can tell. But he’s trying to hold on as long as he can. He wants to savor this. He’s scared he won’t get this opportunity again.

Joel pulls his cock out of you, his chest rising and falling as he steadies himself. You look up to him, confused as to why he’s stopped. Maybe he’s regretting it. Maybe he feels guilty for it all. You sit up on your elbows, eyebrows knit tight.

“Joel, everything okay?”

He wipes his face and nods, “Yeah, baby… on your knees for me.”

Your eyes widen and you immediately turn around, gathering yourself on to your hands and knees to which Joel groans. He grabs your hips, pulling you against him and you feel his hard cock rut into your behind slightly. Joel brings a hand down to your ass, the smack echoing in the dimly lit room as you hum in delight.

“Gonna fuck you good, sweet girl. ‘Member I promised that?” He says, guiding his cock back into your slick. You breathe out, arms faltering slightly as you try and hold yourself up for him.

Joel smacks your ass again, “I said, remember? Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, I remember.” You hiss, your pussy gripping around his length like a vice.

“Fuck- r-remember what? What did I tell you I was gonna do?” Another smack, your cheeks branded with his handprint.

“Ah, Joel-fuck! You-you said you were going to fuck me good. Please… do it. Fuck me.” You beg, your tone dripping with desperation. Joel smiles and kneads the skin he’d been rough with as he begins to pump in and out again.

“Good girl.”

He grabs your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he moves. He pumps into you over and over and you can’t think straight. Your arms give out not even two minutes into it and your head buries itself in his pillows. Joel doesn’t care; he just grips you tighter to make sure you don’t get too far away.

“That’s it, you’re takin’ it so fuckin’ good, baby. So good. So… mine. All mine, right?” He moans, his voice rough.

You don’t respond, too busy focusing on his cock that stretches your pussy out. Focused on the way he seems to hit that one spot in your cunt over and over. He takes his hand to your ass again, this time smacking it but grabbing a fist full afterwards.

“I said, right?”

“Yes, Joel, all yours! Only fucking yours.”

It’s like music to Joel’s ears as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulling your back against his torso. His hips never stop, even as you both adjust to the new position, his left hand reaching up to your breast to squeeze and his right flying down to your clit, rubbing quick circles. He wants you to come with him and he’s ridiculously close, but so were you.

“Shit, baby,” He heaves, “‘M gonna cum, gonna fill you up. That okay?” He asks through his rough grunting.

You nod immediately, not minding any implications, “Fuck, yes, Joel. Please. Please fuckin’ finish inside me.” Your orgasm teeters the edge as his fingers and cock assault your core, seconds from overflowing.

Hearing you beg Joel to finish inside you is all he needed to let go. Both of you cry out in pleasure as you feel Joel’s hot seed coat your walls. He fucks it further into you, no sign of him pulling out, but you didn’t want him to. Your body ignites as your own orgasm hits, your pussy clenching around Joel’s cock, milking him dry. You’ve never felt this sort of electric current spread through your veins, this liquid fire working its way to every point of your body and it’s just too much.

Finally, after a few more moments of Joel thrusting; his hand on your clit seizes its movements and he pulls out. Your head falls back on to his shoulder as you try to catch your breath, body completely spent. You feel his touch graze over you skin as he trails them up to your breasts and back down your tummy, like he’s trying to map every inch of your body to his memory. He’s so scared he’s going to lose you, and you can tell. His lips ghost over your neck and shoulders and back, while his hands palm at your skin.

“Joel, settle down.” You giggle; your eyes still closed in euphoria.

He sighs, “Sorry, Darlin’. I’m just… I’m just feelin’ you is all.”

“I know you are and that’s okay. But we’re going to do this again, you know? Again, and again, and again.” You say with a smile as you turn to face him again. You can feel his seed begin to leak out of you and you clench, wanting to keep it inside.

“You sure?” Joel asks, his body hovering yours as you lay on your back.

You nod; eyes heavy with exhaustion even if you’d napped most of the day. Joel relaxes slightly, easing his body down to lay on yours and it has you reeling.

“I love this feeling. You on me. Us. All of it.” Your words come out in a mumble and Joel smiles, kissing your chin and then your cheeks.

“I know. Me too.” He hums, his lips lingering over your skin as he ghosts more kisses across your face. He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. “So, how are we…? How are you… ya know, gonna tell Luke?”

You pause for a long time. Each second that passes has Joel’s heart racing quicker and harder. What if you’d changed your mind?

Another pause and a breath; you speak. “I… don’t know.”

Joel doesn’t move. He just lays there on top of you and lets you think a while. “How do I tell my husband I want a divorce?”

“You go up to him and say ‘Luke. I want a divorce.’” Joel says plainly and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Is it really that simple?” You ask, your eyes meeting his.

He pauses this time, his eyes dilating as he gazes upon your face. “No. It isn’t.”

You nod, eyelids closing. “I know.”

“But we’ll figure it out. Okay? No way in hell am I ever lettin’ you go now. I’ll fight Luke for you.” He speaks. You laugh again but you know he’s serious. He would fight Luke. He’d win too.

“That won’t be necessary… but I’d fight him too.” This time Joel laughs and leans down, nuzzling his head into your neck and wrapping his arms around your frame. You’ve never felt so safe. So loved.

You don’t know when you fall asleep, but it happens. Your body melds into Joel’s and the both of you lull into a deep sleep. You don’t wake up until late morning the next day. Joel’s already out of bed, probably somewhere on the farm doing his duties. You sit up, the blankets pooling around your waist when you look over to the clock on Joel’s bedside table. It’s a quarter passed 10 already. You decide to get up, getting dressed in Joel’s shirt from yesterday and a pair of his sweats. You see an old sweater in his drawers too and you figured you’d help yourself. It is getting chilly outside after all. Plus, you had the inkling Joel was the type to like you in his clothes anyways.

After slipping on your shoes, you decided to head to the barn. He was more than likely there, considering Estrella was in active labor yesterday. The cold air nipped your nose as you hugged yourself, crossing the yard to the barn. It was open, the overhead light flipped on. You could hear humming from Joel in the distance and you smiled.

It was warmer in the barn. Joel turned the space heater on for the calf and for the mama.

“Joel?” You called out, waiting for his response.

He peeks his head around the corner, his eyes wide as he smiles to you. He steps from behind the wall, wiping his hands on a rag that he slings over his shoulder. Heat pools in your tummy as he approaches you, the simple gesture turning you on.

“Hi, darlin’. Everything okay?” He asks. You nod. “Sleep okay?”

You nod again. “Best sleep I think I’ve ever had. I was so warm and cozy.”

Joel smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Yeah? Me too. And to think… we’re gonna be sleepin’ like that from here on out, huh?”

You feel your stomach coil in a way that makes you nervous. It’s excitement, but it’s nerve-wracking. You’re really going to have to tell Luke it’s over. Your mind swims with different ideas of ways to break it to him. Maybe you could tell him you’re actually not interested in men anymore. Yeah, that could work. The good ol’ lesbian switcheroo. Or maybe you could tell him you’re dying. You could fake your death and just never have to confront what’s really going on. You could never tell him you’re in love with another man. With someone he’s known since he was a child. You sigh as you realize you just need to tell him you’re unhappy. That you don’t want this anymore… that you don’t want him. Maybe you could even leave Joel out of it. Just tell him you’re done, that you want to go back to the city. Luke would. He wouldn’t stay here. That way you could sneak back and live with Joel. But that was a longshot.

Joel notices your silence and he nudges you slightly, “Baby? Everythin’ okay in that pretty lil’ head of yours?”

Your eyes snap up to Joels, slightly widened but you nod.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m okay. Just thinking of what I should tell Luke.”

Joel nods, opening his mouth to say something when the devil himself appears.

“Tell Luke what?” Luke speaks, smiling at you and Joel as he steps into the barn. He must have seen you come inside it.

Your heart stills and you feel it drop to your ass as you whip around, eyes meeting his. Joel’s hands drop from your waist, and you can’t even think straight. Your heart pounds so hard you feel like you’re rocking on a boat during a thunderstorm, the waves threatening to consume you.

Luke begins to notice that Joel’s hands were on you, once gripped tightly around the sides of your body, now limp at his sides. Twitching. Like they’re aching to hold you again. He notices the clothes you adorn. They’re not yours and they’re definitely not his. Luke’s stomach drops and his smile falls, his own heart racing. Luke might be oblivious to some things, but he’s not an idiot, and he quickly pieces together what’s happening. And then he sees the marks on Joel’s neck. And then on yours.

“What. The. Fuck?” He hisses. His face begins to burn red and he sees it too.

“Luke, please. Let me explain-” You begin, your voice panicked and desperate.

“Oh, no. You don’t need to explain. I know exactly what is going on here… and you know what? I just knew this was going to happen. I knew it. I had this feeling and look! I’m right!”

Your brows knit together and you cross your arms. “Luke, what?”

Luke scoffs, “Babe… you don’t think I haven’t noticed you getting up at five… six in the morning to make Joel coffee? Or the way you’d bounce over to the guest house, the brightest smile on your face like you were going to see the love of your life? You’ve never smiled like that with me! If you don’t think I’ve noticed that then you must be dumber than I thought you were. So fucking dumb.”

Your heart breaks at his words. You know he’s just trying to hurt you, but man does it fucking suck. You loved him wholeheartedly at one point and now you just don’t know him. You haven’t for months. Probably even before you got to the farm. Tears well up in your eyes as you go to say something but get cut off.

“Listen here, you little shit. You will not talk to her like that any longer. Do you hear me?” Joel seethes, but Luke isn’t going to back down.

He laughs, “Upset ‘cause I called her dumb? She just threw everything away for you! You, Joel. 50 years old and what to show for yourself? Living on a dead woman’s farm? No family, no kids. You just had to steal someone else’s wife, huh? You know what? You can have her. She’s a fucking whore anyways!”

“Luke, stop.” You say, your voice wavering as you try and find it, your heart shattering at his words.

“You little fucker. You can say all the shit you want to, Luke,” Joel begins, “But in the end, it was me who fucked your wife, wasn’t it? She had to turn to me ‘cause it was you who couldn’t take care of her.”

You look at Joel with wide eyes at his crude words and you scoff, looking back and forth as the two of them begin to argue. They raise their voices, stepping closer to one another and it just becomes too much. You break.

“Stop! The both of you! Fucking stop!” You yell, your eyes filling with tears. They spill wildly and you don’t even try and wipe them away. Luke looks at you in annoyance and as soon as Joel’s eyes meet yours, he’s nervous. He’s realized what he’s said in anger and he hates to see you cry. He hates that he’s part of the reason you are. Joel tries to reach out to you, uttering a ‘baby’ and you push him back.

“No. Just… stop.” You sob. Your voice is small and nervous, but you knew whatever the outcome of this was, it’d end in disaster. It’d end in heartbreak.

“Luke,” You begin, “I was so in love with you, I mean, fuck. I married you. I moved seven hours out of the city to live in the fucking countryside with you! And not once, did you take my feelings into consideration. The more I think about it; I don’t think you ever did. It was all about you. You’ve been horrible to me the last however long we’ve been here-”

“I haven’t been horrible to you-”

“Let me speak!” You yell back, your fists tightening into little balls. Luke rolls his eyes but shuts up. Joel’s eyes flicker down to your fists, and he physically holds himself back from reaching for them. From reaching for you. He so desperately wants you in his arms, telling you it’ll be okay, that’s he’s sorry, but he knows he can’t. You wouldn’t let him.

“You have been horrible. Not speaking to me or berating me when you do. Pushing me for sex when I didn’t want it. Calling me names and meaning them. ‘Whore’? Really, Luke? The venom you have in your voice when you talk to me… you can’t deny any of that.”

Luke stays silent because he knows you’re right. He can’t look at you anymore and turns his head, his eyes closing as his shoulders slump.

“And you,” You speak, turning to Joel, “What the fuck was that? Boasting like I’m some… trophy? Like I’m-”

“I cheated on you too.” Luke says. Your eyes widen and both you and Joel turn to him. “I am cheating on you. With uh, Caroline.” He says, mentioning his coworker. She was a couple years younger than you and Luke. Newer to the company. You’re pretty sure Luke mentioned he was training her when she was hired about a year ago.

You can’t say you’re shocked. You can’t really say anything as there isn’t much for you to say.

“So, we’re both not innocent then, huh?” You speak. Your voice is serious and final, “Let’s get divorced. We should end this.”

Luke scoffs, crossing his arms. His face begins to falter. He knows you’re right. This should end. He wants to be bitter and petty and hurt you more, but he knows he’s hurt you enough. At one point, he cared about you too. You were the light of his life and then things changed. Work got stressful, Karla died, and his family pressured him to take the farm. He didn’t want to. He has no clue how to take care of a farm, clearly. He had no clue how to take care of you. And to him, it seemed like Joel did.

“Let’s talk about this inside.” He sighs.

A couple hours later you find yourself walking out the back door of the farmhouse and down the hill to Joel’s guest house. Your cheeks are tear stained, and nose is tinged red from crying. No shoes on. The familiar ache of the cold gravel against the heels of your feet almost comforting you.

Once on the rickety porch you’d stepped on to hundreds of times before, you approached the door, rapping on it lightly. Joel only took a few moments to answer it.

“Hi.” You said as you watched him. He looked nervous, cheeks pink with anxiety. Or maybe he’d been crying too. You didn’t know.

“Can I come in?” You asked. He nodded immediately, stepping aside. He didn’t speak though. Maybe he was too nervous to. Too scared. He was terrified this was it.

You made your way to the plaid couch you’d grown to love so much, settling against the soft cushions and breathing out. Joel lingered, standing by the door. He was unsure of what he should do next. Should he sit down? Should he reach out to you? Comfort you? Should he just get the fuck off this farm and never look back? No, he wouldn’t do that. He needed you too badly.

Your reddened, watery eyes looked up to Joel causing his breath to stutter. The anxiety bubbled up from his chest to his throat and he clears it, watching for your next move. You sniffle, rubbing your eyes before holding your arms out to Joel. You needed to be held. He moved to you in lightning speed, scooping you up into his arms and cradling you delicately. Joel settles on to the couch with you in his grasp. He presses small kisses against your temples, scalp and forehead, his heart racing a mile a minute.

“I’m here, baby. Not goin’ nowhere. Not ever. You have me.” He speaks. His words are desperate and needy, like he needs to ingrain it into your mind that he’s yours. Because he is.

Joel holds you for a long time. He’s not sure how long, but it had to be at least an hour or so. His hands rub up and down your back, tracing the curve of your waist and spine. He wants to comfort you, just like you being here comforts him.

It’s a little longer before you speak. You sniffle and pull back slightly, looking up to him. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

His heart races again, “Sorry? What’re you sorry for, darlin’?”

“For everything.” You squeek, your voice cracking. “For getting you into this mess.”

He sighs, “Baby… that’s not somethin’ you need to be sorry for. I wanted you just as bad as you wanted me. Even more so.”

You look away and blink, shrugging. “I just… I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say.”

“That’s alright. You don’t gotta know what to say. Just let me hold you, okay? Whatever happens, we’ll get through it. You and I.” He says, burying his head against the top of yours, breathing in the lingering tea tree scent from his shampoo. His eyes close, heart hammering in his chest which you can hear. The corners of your lips turn upwards, tears springing to your eyes.

“Are you nervous, Joel?”

He pauses a moment before nodding. “Lil’ bit. Just scared you’re gonna go away or somethin’.”

You pause this time, your mind drifting back to your conversation with Luke inside.

“So, sleeping with Joel, huh?” Luke says. You roll your eyes as you sit on the velvet green couch in the living room. He sits on the opposite side of it.

“Sleeping with Caroline, huh?” You retort and he blows a raspberry. There’s a long silence before anyone decides to speak. Tears prick your eyes, and you feel yourself just wanting to run to Joel. He’d make everything feel okay again. You wipe your eyes and Luke sighs.

“I don’t know why you’re crying. This has been coming for a long time. You’re so fucking sensitive.” He says, his tone quiet. He’s annoyed.

“I know. It still hurts though. Sorry for being sensitive, I guess.”

Another long silence, either of you not knowing what to say. He decides to finally look at you, his eyes gazing over your features, appreciating the way your eyelashes curl and then way your eyes glisten, still so full of life and love despite what’s going on. The last time he’s going to do that.

Luke sighs. His next words almost shock you.

“I’m sorry. You know that right?” He speaks. Your eyebrows knit and you look at him, more tears falling.

“Are you?”

He pauses again. “Yes. I didn’t mean to turn into such an asshole. I didn’t mean to make you run into the arms of someone who could treat you better. I just… stopped caring. It’s not okay. I’m sorry.” Luke taking accountability? This was new.

You shrug, wiping your tears away. You were so tired of crying.

“Well, I appreciate that, Luke. It sucks it turned out like this. That we… Turned out like this.”

“So, what should we do? What… do you want to do?” Luke asks. He’s calm. Sad, but he’s calm. No more venom. He’s ready for this to be over, and frankly, so you were you.

“I think a divorce would be best. There’s no love here. Not how it used to be anyways.” Which was true. You’d always have a love for Luke even if you weren’t in love with him.

He nods, wiping his nose. He wasn’t a crier, but this was hard for him too. You didn’t think it would be, but he was always surprising you.

“Okay. What about… the farm? I’m not staying here anymore, my family will have to decide what happen-”

“Joel should have it.” You say, interrupting him. “He’s been here 25 years. He can take care of it better than anyone in your family would. Hell, Karla couldn’t even take care of it. That’s why she hired him.”

He scoffs, “Oh, so you want Joel to get the farm so you can stay and live out your weird farm fantasy with him?” Luke spits, that venom seeping back into his words. He was always going to be like that.

You sigh, closing your eyes. “No. That’s not it at all. I don’t even know what’s happening with Joel and I, Luke. I don’t know where I’m going after this. But let’s face it… Karla would want him to have it.”

Luke huffs and stands up, pacing the room as he thinks. It’s another few moments before he says anything. He turns towards you, his eyes sad but he gives you a curt nod. His shoulders fall in defeat. He didn’t want to fight anymore. “You’re right. Joel should have it. Even if you decide to stay here with him. Which is insane to me… you didn’t even want to come here in the first place.”

You nod softly, remembering those months ago when Luke told you you’d be moving here. How much you hated it. How you’d stay up at night and have panic attacks at the idea of leaving the city. Now look at you. You couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

“I’ll tell my family. No one else really wanted it anyways. Not even Nick. So, it’s Joel’s… and… yours?” He asks cautiously.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Luke. I already told you that. We’ll… see.”

He nods again, his shoulders slumping further as he exhales a breath he wasn’t aware that he was even holding. You stand, knees a little wobbly from the adrenaline finally settling in your body.

“So, this is it then?” Luke says, biting down on his bottom lip. You nod.

“Yeah. It is.”

He looks away from you, looking anywhere besides where you stood. He knows he screwed up and he feels bad, yet a part of him feels free. He decides to step forward, awkwardly opening his arms to you and you hesitate, but you take it. The both of you have a final embrace. It’s empty. He just feels like another body against yours. There’s no emotion, but somehow, it’s the closure you needed.

“So, I’ll see ya?” Luke says, inhaling the scent of you one last time. He nearly scowls. Tea tree. He hated tea tree.

“Yeah, maybe not.” You laughed, tears spilling from your eyes. You wipe them away and he smiles, laughing too.

“Are you nervous, Joel?”

He pauses a moment before nodding. “Lil’ bit. Just scared you’re going to go away or somethin’.”

You pause, slightly unsure of what to say. It makes him more nervous.

“Do you want me to?” You finally ask Joel. He pushes you back, looking into your eyes.

“Do I want you to leave?” He asks. He looks like you’ve asked the silliest question in the world, but you nod anyways. He doesn’t speak for a moment, trying to find the right words to say.

“If you decide to leave, there’s nothing I can do about that… but I think it’d just down right kill me.”

His words make your heart leap, and you close your eyes, not wanting anymore tears to spill. You lean forward, burying your face in Joel’s chest. His fingers lace through your hair, his whole being trying to convey the fact that he wants you to stay right here with him.

“Then I’ll stay.” You mumble into the fabric of his sweater, but he doesn’t quite hear you.

“Hmm?”

You peer up to him, your lashes damp as your glossy eyes look into his dark, anxious ones. It takes his breath away.

“I said I will stay. Here with you.”

Joel’s heart stops as he finally hears you and all he can do is close his eyes and pull you back into him. He holds you there against him, not daring to move, not daring to let go. And you stay. You don’t wiggle, you don’t move, you sit there breathing him in deeply. The comfort this man gave you was insane. You could live here in his arms, on this farm, hours from a real town or city and you would be happy. You’d have him and he’d have you.

Images of your life on the farm with Joel flash through your mind and it has you reeling. Winter on the farm and being bundled up with him in bed, trying to stay warm with the space heater since the main house has a mean draft. Maybe you could convince him to get matching pajamas with you. Christmas ones with trees and stars on it.

You imagine helping Joel with Estrella and her baby in the spring. He could teach you how to tend to the chickens and horses so you could help fetch the eggs without getting pecked and even brush the horse's manes, giving them a braid or two. Joel’s been talking about starting a garden. It’d be the perfect time to get cucumbers planted, and tomatoes even.

Maybe in the summertime, you and Joel could lay a blanket on the hill in the backyard and watch the clouds pass by and as the day turned to night, you could count the stars in the sky with him. Maybe he’d lean over and kiss you, his hand trailing from your jaw to your neck to your waist. He’d take you on that blanket, under the moon, making love to the only woman he’d ever wanted in his life to stay with him for good.

And maybe that fall, you’d run into the stables, tears streaming down your cheeks as you gripped the little stick in your hand. Joel would look at you with concern, his brows knitted together tightly before looking down to what was gripped in your palm. He’d rush over to you, asking what it said, and you’d smile, nodding your head.

“Thank you.” He speaks. It’d been God knows how long since someone had said something, but you didn’t mind. The silence was comfortable with him. You look up to him again, the side of your cheek smooshed against his peck, and he smiles.

“Thank you? For what?” You ask. Joel’s hands caress the side of your cheek that’s not pressed against his chest, and he hums.

“For stayin’. Lord nows why you’d stay, but I’m glad. Real glad, my sweet girl.”

“Yeah, well… this place has grown on me. Who would have thought?” You say, smiling softly. Joel smiles too.

“Yeah, just the charm of the farm, huh, sugar? Nothing else?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hmm… nope. I just really like Estrella. And her new baby is really cute too.”

Joel’s eyes roll but then he leans down and pecks your lips in a sequence. He presses his lips against yours over and over and you think to yourself there’s no way you could ever get sick of this.

He pulls back and wipes the hair out of your face, “Just so God damn pretty, baby girl. Can’t believe I’ll get to look at you every day. Get to touch you and kiss you.” Joel speaks and he’s really just talking to himself. He’s trying to convince himself this is really happening. You sit up, placing your legs on either side of Joel as you straddle him. His eyes flash with desire and it goes straight to his groin. You can feel it as his length pokes against your core but he doesn’t try anything. He just looks at you.

“Sorry, darlin’. Don’t gotta do nothin’ about it, just happens when I’m around you.”

You shake your head, corners of your mouth flitting upwards. “It’s okay, Joel. I don’t mind it. I kinda love that I can turn you on so easily.”

Joel smirks, “’Kinda’ love it? What do you think cause I’m damn near geriatric I shouldn’t be able to get it up anymore?”

“Oh my god. That’s not what I’m saying.” You say as your face burns, and you roll your eyes.

He laughs, “I know, baby. I just like givin’ you a hard time.”

“Hmm… well, I know something else that's hard you can give to me.” You smirk. You’re kidding and he knows it but it still turns him on even further. His grip on your waist tightens before trailing it down to your ass and pulling you against him. You feel that familiar ache in between your legs as his tip teases you through your pants. You shake your head.

“Joel…” You say warningly.

“I know, I know. It’s not really a sexy time right now, is it?”

You nod, “Not really… maybe later though? Luke’s packing right now. He said he’ll be gone by tomorrow morning. Could I sleep here with you tonight?”

Joel’s heart skips a beat, “I wouldn’t think you’d be anywhere else.”

Silence falls between the two of you as Joel takes your hands into his. His fingers pad over your delicate skin, tracing up the length of them and over the chipped polish on your nails. He laces his with yours and looks into your eyes. Joel feels his heart thump against his chest, an overwhelming sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He’s going to say it. He’s never said it in his entire life to anyone. But he knows he feels it with you. It might be too soon, but in this moment he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know if you feel it too, but he thinks so. Joel’s nervous, and when he opens his mouth to speak, you stop him.

“I know.” You breathe, gripping on to his fingers tightly. Your voice waivers. “You don’t have to say it. I… I know.” And you do. You know exactly what he’s going to say and yes, of course you want to hear it. You feel it too. But you’re not ready. Not yet.

“I feel the same way.” You hush, bringing his knuckles up to your lips and pressing small kisses against them.

Joel’s eyes get blurry, and he nods, huffing slightly. He leans in and kisses you and you kiss him back. It’s simple, but passionate. You can feel the emotion he radiates for you and you hope he can feel it right back.

“I want to say it though, baby girl. You mean so much to me. Greatest fuckin’ thing to ever happen to me if I'm quite honest. Despite some trouble here and there.” He hums, lips pressing to your cheek and jaw. Your eyes close as you savor his touches, and you hum back.

“Me too. Maybe that’s crazy to say but I’ve never had anyone care for me the way you do, Joel. So, trust me. I feel the exact same way about you. Let’s just wait a little longer to say it. I mean I just found out I’m getting a divorce.”

Joel pulls back and looks into your eyes. They hold stars and galaxies and Joel is convinced that he could look into them forever. One look from you and he’d know everything would work out. You were his home, not this farm. And when he thought about it, it was well worth the wait for him to find you. He’d spend another 50 years alone if that meant he could spend eternity with you when it was all said and done.

The both of you knew there was still a lot to work out, but whatever happened, it’d be you two. That was all you really needed.

“I think… we should go into the kitchen and tear up the rest of that pecan pie. Whaddya think?” Joel smiles, pulling you with him as he gets up from the couch. His arms wrap around your waist as yours wrap around his neck and you smile, nodding to him.

“Sounds good to me. I could go for a lil’ something sweet right now.”

Thank you for reading this. As always, likes and reblogs are appreciated and if you enjoyed reading it, let me know! ♥️

[sastielsfandom]

Happy pride month. I don't get to celebrate much because I'm currently homeless with my family. Two of my sisters, my mom, her mom, and I are all just trying to make it by. We've all been in abusive situations recently and are trying to escape these cycles of abuse. I swear I'm on here constantly begging for help to keep us afloat as we're being tugged down. We deal with so much bullshit on a day to day basis if I didn't live it, I wouldn't believe it. We have people stalking us, stealing from us, trying to take advantage of my sisters car. All we want to do is have a roof over our heads, piece our family back together, and never be bothered by our abusers ever again. One was in jail but is getting out this month. The other is supposed to be going to jail but is evading the police and hiding my other sister. She is disabled and non-verbal, and is being physically and emotionally abused. It is torture knowing that no one is protecting her but everyone is protecting her abuser. We're drowning over here just trying to get on steady ground once again. Tonight we have nowhere to sleep and will probably run out of gas. We're running low on sleep because every night we're unsure where the hell we're going to sleep. This heat is killing us. And every step we take forward, we're knocked ten feet back. This isn't a battle we can afford to lose but we are. We just need help. If you can spare a dollar or two, maybe even five, it makes a difference. A dollar can be the difference between shelter, having money for food, or making sure we don't run out of gas on the side of the road. I'm putting a large amount down, because it's how much we do need to just keep going. I don't expect anyone to give us the full amount. Not with this economy. But if you have a dollar you can throw our way, and you do. Well, that'll mean the world to us. This is so long, and probably repetitive but I am exhausted and just trying to make it to the next day. So apologies for anything that doesn't make sense. Below is where you can help send us money. I appreciate you just sharing this if you have nothing to offer. It means a lot getting this out there.

0/$5,000

Paypal

Venmo

Cashapp

Kofi

I appreciate any help, from small to large donations, reblogs and shares. It all makes a difference even if you don't believe it does.

[naeirichill]

dumb things svt does during sex

s.coups (seungcheol) this strong mf always tries to fold you like a pretzel when you’re not flexible AT ALL. he’s done it so much, once he accidentally dislocated your hip, taking the phrase, “i’m gonna make sure you can’t walk for a week” to a whole new level.

jeonghan he doesn’t have many kinks, or any really. so when he unexpectedly wanted you to wear a blindfold, you were surprised. well, come to find out, he only wanted you to wear it so that you couldn’t see him sleeping and he’d have an excuse not to move.

joshua thought it’d be fun to have sex on the balcony, UNTIL A BUG LANDED ON YOUR SHOULDER. he screamed and dropped your legs before running back inside, slamming the door shut. you were left butterball ass naked outside.

jun when junhui started going down on you, you began squirming and wincing. he asked what was wrong and you told him that your vag was burning, not knowing that he had eaten something spicy beforehand.

hoshi for some reason, soonyoung always tries to hold in his moans. like...he thinks they’re embarrassing. maybe because most of the time he’s growling- but it’s nowhere near as embarrassing as shouting “hORANGHAEEEEEE” right as he cums.

wonwoo he gets serious and always uses technical terms. you try not to, but when he said “fuck y/n, you’re so lubricated” you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

woozi he'd always beg you to let him bring food into the bedroom. the one time you did, he got hungry in the middle of missionary and left you on the bed pussy ass naked.

dk (dokyeom) asked you to sit on his face and almost died because he wouldn’t tap out to come up for air while he was eating you out. you didn’t notice until he was gasping against your center.

mingyu he dropped the damn soap while y’all were having sex in the shower. and you already know what happened. y’all were slipping and sliding all over the place and gyu’s big clumsy ass fell out the tub and took the shower curtain with him.

the8 (minghao) hao cannot fuck you on his bed. he’ll do it on the floor, on the couch, or on the kitchen counter, but NOT his bed. he claims it’s because he used to put kermit the frog on the same pillow your face is buried in and it just doesn’t ‘feel right.’ okay hao

seungkwan boo always tries to make you queef. yes, you read that correctly. he thinks it’s hilarious when you have vag gas and will not stop until you yell at him.

vernon try to keep your sanity when having sex with this man. sometimes he does not give you ANY reaction. he just lies there and looks bored. it got to a point where you asked if he’d rather be doing something else. and he straight up says “yeah. i’m tryna read webtoons.”

dino you’re trying to ride him and all of a sudden he wanna crack jokes. deadass stares at you, hands cupping your titties, “what type of bees make milk?” LIKE- CHAN PLEASE NOT NOW. it’s boobees btw..

[french-vanilla-in-the-clouds]

𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ His energy is golden for the first few hours. He’s singing along to Sabbath, joking with Sam, and handing you gas station gummy worms on route to the next exorcism.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ He loves a self-serve car wash. The second he spots one, he veers in like it’s obligatory. “I’ll handle the exterior. Think you can do the dashboard?”

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ He has opinions about road snacks. Trail mix is “rabbit food.” Jerky is “essential protein.” Beers in the cooler, always.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ Sometimes he talks to stay awake. Tells you old stories from hunts he thinks you haven’t heard. Gets nostalgic about old diners and older friends. His voice gets real soft near midnight.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ He loves those corny tourist attractions in the middle of rural nowhere. Guaranteed he'll stop for the biggest rubber band ball in the Midwest

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ Sam tries to navigate but ultimately, it's Dean who makes executive decisions on the road. Sometimes you'll drive aimlessly but that's okay because, "we're not lost. We're just spicing up the route."

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ “I’m serious, this is the best gas station pie in the country,” he swears for the fourth state in a row. He always makes you take the first bite.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ You hit a thunderstorm in Kansas once. Dean gripped the wheel tight, shoulders tense, eyes locked on the slick road ahead. Baby was home base, and keeping you and Sam safe always came first. Hydroplaning? Never heard of it.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ When he’s tired, his hand finds yours, thumb rubbing over your knuckles. One hand is plenty for steering, he insists.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★ He’ll drive for fourteen hours straight if you let him. But when he glances in the rearview and sees you dozing off, he'll lower volume on the music and call it a night, determined to get you a proper bed.

────────⊳⋆⊲────────

Okay, so you got a car? Yeah, I'm impressed.

[8thhousekat]

🩷Moon sign observations🩷

Aries moons: I’ve noticed that a lot of Aries moon people tend to have a certain interest that they are very very passionate about🙏 they also are very protective over their loved ones if you think no one has your back that one Aries moon family member or friend does they also may be addicted to drama❤️❤️

Taurus moons: the most loyal and caring people I’ve ever met they always find a way to make you comfortable in the most uncomfortable situations haha they also can get irritable when they are hungry or when they are stressed they may over indulge in food or things that may be comforting to them.

Gemini moons: a lot of them tend to always need to be doing something to keep them from overthinking and spiraling. They always know everything about everyone even people that are just acquaintances. They overindulge in media haha and they might have multiple things they are interested in or were at one point and it is the most random hobby ever they also may struggle with being anxious or having a lot of anxiety due to always asking why or making hypothetical situations in their head(this is my moon sign😭)

Cancer moons: they are always so caring they might accidentally parent their friends and family but it’s because they care about them so much. I’ve noticed that a lot of cancer moons that I’ve met are old souls they could appreciate antiques and older music🙏they are very practical at times and they always seem to know the right thing to say when you are upset

Leo moons: Leo moons just light up rooms when they smile their humor is immaculate. They also might have a tendency to hold grudges on certain people. A lot of Leo moons I’ve met have a very chill demeanor but once they get comfortable they really show their personality❤️ they are surprisingly stubborn too and have leader characteristics people just listen to them

Virgo moons: they are so anxious :( but very stable a lot of them might get stomach issues due to anxiety they also could stress clean😭 they get stressed out in unclean environments. Also might have a tendency to want to fix people or give solutions when someone is upset (this isn’t because they don’t care it’s because they want to help) virgo moons tend to be stuck in-between their head and their heart they also have very beautiful skin they take very good care of themselves and others.

Libra moons: you guys are so diplomatic and conflict adverse at the same time haha I’ve never met a libra moon who didn’t want to keep the peace. They are so sweet and they always seem to know what to say to make people feel better. They also might get stuck in situations due to getting attached easily. Libra moons also might have a hard time being alone because they just want to be loved😔 I love you guys sm

Scorpio moons: you guys are detectives on a monocular level you always seem to know how to get things out of people a lot of my friends are Scorpio moons and their dark humor is so fucking funny. They also are emotional even if they try to hide it they have huge hearts and care about their people. They love horror movies/games and When they are mad they might struggle with revenge fantasies and explosive anger. Very secretive about non important things like their playlists or their favorite food but non the less they are extremely loyal people so don’t hurt them or you will never get back in.

Sagittarius moons: they have so much energy and knowledge they are little adventurers they always have some funny story to pull out of nowhere you know when a Sagittarius moon loves you is when they take you on their little trips even to the gas station haha they love to express themselves through their style and they are so accepting. A lot of Sagittarius moons teach themselves about things they absorb information very quickly and could easily understand how things work

Capricorn moons: they are very hard working and prone to burn out very loyal they might have a tendency to be pessimistic and go through depressive episodes:( they all need hugs haha some of them might be a bit grouchy at times and get frustrated when there’s lack of effort from the people they love. They really like food that reminds them of home. The cap moons that I know are very good at saving their money. But when they are stressed they over spend. Kids also really like them for some reason haha same with cancer moons

Aquarius moons: these people aren’t afraid to be themselves they are they are very much you see is what you get type energy. they are logical and intelligent but they also are very goofy at times they might have a hard time making friends due to fear of letting people in but once they let you in they are amazing friends and people to be around. They also could have a hard time with being emotional around others can be stoic at times.

Pisces moons: they are so sweet and delusional haha pisces moons love romance and daydream a lot they also could have very vivid dreams. They are kind and caring and also have a savior complex like Virgo moons😭 a lot of Pisces moons I know have this ability to get people to open up to them they can be too trusting. Some of them might say white lies 😭😭 but at the end of the day they just want to be accepted the same way that they accept others

these are just my observations on the moon signs if they aren’t accurate to you then that’s okay🩷🩷 Thank you for reading 🩷🩷 if you would like a free natal chart reading just comment

[raydiant-moon]

Night 1

Animatronic Satoru x fem!reader x animatronic Suguru

MDNI

Summary: You needed a job terribly bad, and when you found out your local pizza place was hiring, you just had to jump onto the opportunity. What you didn't expect was babysitting, and not just any regular babysitting, but watching animatronics. Two handsomely made animatronics. Why was it babysitting? Well, they moved, and they were after none other than their beautiful night guard.

Cw: swearing

Divider credits: @strangergraphics and @cursed-carmine

The bills piling on your coffee table looked like mountains. Car payment, one month behind. Rent and utilities, two months behind. Hell, you were barely affording food at this point. It wasn't cheap or easy, no, it was expensive and hard. You told your landlord that it would only be a few more weeks. You couldn't call your parents either, they told you as soon as you moved out, you were on your own.

The drip of the faucet in the bathroom was like a metronome to the silent building. Usually, it was creaking in protest to any step taken. The paint was cracked, and the lights flickered like some old gas station lights. The kind of gas stations that had been there for decades and sat in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, those gas stations. It wasn't beautiful, but it was inexpensive, and it was home.

You looked over to the digital clock sitting next to your bed. Yes, the poor apartment was only a studio apartment. The bed next to the kitchen, the renovators, kind enough to make the bathroom, its own room. The time on the clock read 8:00 A.M. you sighed, getting up and getting on yesterday's clothes. They didn't reak thank the heavens. It was another day, another few job interviews to go to.

Grabbing your car keys and walk outside your car. Your cute little 1989 Mazda Miata. You had gotten it back in high school simply for the headlights, but now you've come to love every little aspect of the cute little thing. Turning over the key, you look to the gas gauge and groan. Putting your forehead on the steering wheel as if it will end your suffering. It was almost empty. Only 100 miles to empty at most. And your first interview was at least 15 miles away. Then the next was 20 from that interview.

It was going to be a long day.

You make it to the first interview and rehearse all your answers and even a few questions you can ask them. To make it seem like you're really interested, not that you wanted to ask questions.

You didn't meet the criteria. They said they were looking for someone with more ambition. When really you couldn't be ambitious enough for a fucking job. To top it all off your other to interviews for the day called and canceled, saying they already found a fill for the position. As you're driving home, the tire popped on your Miata. Thank the Lord for the spare you had. With tears filling your eyes, you pull into the parking lot of the town favorite pizzeria. That's when you noticed the sign, help wanted.

On top of that, they had open interviews from 8 am to 3 pm. You fish out your phone unceremoniously and quickly check for the time. It was 1:30. You had time! You'd change your tire later.

You run into the pizzeria and see a few kids running around, some with little souvenirs, others with a slice of pizza, and some just sat and watched the front. Which made your eyes follow, there were two performers, both singing, but not just any kind of performers, they were animatronics. One with bright blue eyes and a smile wider than anyone you've ever seen. The other had violet eyes, ones that seemed to look through the crowd. It almost seemed unsettling, but you quickly shook the thought away and went up to the front desk.

"Welcome to Jujutsu Pizzeria, how can I help?"

The woman at the counter looked exhausted. She also smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, looking down to the lopsided name tag that read Shoko and the faintly stained shirt you gave her a small smile.

"Hi... um Shoko, I'm looking to interview for the position you guys need help filling?"

You said it almost like a question, like you weren't even sure why you were interviewing for the position yourself, but shoko just gave you a questioning look before motioning you to follow her to the back office.

"You'll be interviewed by the boss, masamichi Yaga. Don't be put off by his appearance. He's just like that sometimes."

You just nod along to what Shoko says, and before you know it, you're sitting in a small office with doors on either side of you. A little fan blows air in your direction, and there are two doors on opposite sides of the room, each with a button to open and shut them. It was so weird to have such high security doors in such a building as this.

"You ever done night shifts before?"

He starts off.

"Yes, sir. I used to work at the burger joint down the street, I worked the graveyard shifts and didn't leave until about 8 in the morning."

He nodded along with you and kept eyeing you, almost like he was assessing by appearance if you were worthy for the job. It made you shift uncomfortably, but before you knew it you were done with the questions.

"I'll give you marks for a remarkable interview, but a resume would be nice for future reference."

You immediately bit your lip and listened. Shit, you weren't getting this job either, were you? That's when you felt a shirt fall into your lap, the same shirt that woman shoko was wearing, but then a flashlight, a pair of keys, and an instruction manual fell into your lap.

"I expect you here by midnight sharp. You can be early, but don't overdo it. Your shift ends at 6 am. Just make sure the place stays... clean."

You nod and feel a sort of chill run down your spine before you agree. Sign a few papers without looking over them because you'd be crazy to pass up on this job due to a few bad things. So you'd be ready and here on time no matter what.

You make it out to your car with a bright smile and a jump to your step. How bad could this possibly be?

Oh, right, you had a flat tire.

After fixing your tire and treating yourself to a better meal, you make your way to the job. It was about 11:45. 15 minutes to midnight, would you clock in early? No, but you might as well get a taste for how big the place was.

You pull out the keys and unlock the doors. Walking in, you notice it's unusually cold for a night mid-July. Usually, people had ac blasting, and they still sweat, but here it was almost frigid. You just chalked it up to the buildings ac. You locked the front doors behind you and made your way through the building.

You pass the main section with no thoughts and immediately head for the kitchen. You look around and notice some of the flour specks in the wood table. A small smile on your face, but then you see the freezer door open. Weird.

You quickly look around, flashlight in hand, and your heart beating out of your chest. You jump in front of the door, aiming the flashlight there at the darkness, a fist raised ready to hit, but there was nothing. You let out a sigh of relief as you quickly close the door.

"Someone must have left it open."

You say with a small laugh, and you walk out to the main area, getting ready to head back to the office. That's when you look to the stage. The two plaques you hadn't seen earlier labeling the now powered down animatronics. Gojo and Geto. You smile at the names. They look so innocent.

Walking up to the stage to look at the two men - robots, you notice that gojo is no longer smiling and geto's purple eyes are completely shut. Must have happened when they got powered down. You reach up to touch one of them just for a fleeting moment you feel compelled too.

That's when you hear the phone ringing in the office. Your heart jumps out of your throat as you let out a scream at the sudden noise. You immediately run to the office and calm yourself before picking up the phone. We'll, it wasn't really a phone call, more a message.

"Uh, hello? This is the old night guard. I thought I'd record a message for ya for your first night. Help ease ya into the process."

You listen intently, and as the clock ticks listening to his message, you get more and more scared. Something about the animatronics moving, the fact that it happens even after they are shut down. The next thing that struck you was irritated. The old employee said they were irritated, that they don't see you as... human. Your eyes widen as you immediately go back to the desk and look at the cameras right to the stage. Gojo and Geto, still where you saw them last.

You laugh and put your hands in your head. This old night guard had some sick sense of humor. The last thing you hear the man in the message say is to only close the doors when absolutely necessary. You have to conserve power. You sigh and sit down at the desk, laughing to yourself slightly and trying to get rid of the feelings of dread.

You spent the first hour reading through the manual. Check cameras, watch animatronics, keep office clean, blah blah blah. Shit, what if you needed to use the bathroom? We'll, you guessed you better go before your shift started and to not drink any water.

That's when you heard it. The sound of something dragging. You look up to the cameras, and then you see it. Gojo had moved down the stairs of the stage and was now looking at the camera with that smile.

Your blood had run cold. Geto was looking at the camera, too. He was still on stage, but those purple eyes were staring through your damn soul. You felt your eyes tear up. You needed to leave, to run, but where the hell did you leave the building keys?!

That's when the footsteps came walking down the hallway. You squealed and went and closed the door immediately. Flicking on the light outside, you saw Gojo and those blue eyes. Backing up from the window, you could still see those blue eyes. And a tap tap tap against the glass.

You screamed and heard a voice behind you at the other door.

"Now, now. There's no need to be so loud. Satoru just thought he'd welcome you, is that anyway you thank him?"

You flip around upon hearing the robotic voice and almost freeze. The tower of a robot the Geto was to you made you stop. He just crooked a smile at you before you finally moved and closed the door.

You heard Geto laughing outside the door. They were harassing you. They knew you were scared. If your screams hadn't already given that away. You looked up to your computer screen and saw the battery percent was at half.

Shit

You quickly moved and opened the other door, noticing that Gojo wasn't there anymore. Thankfully, Geto wasn't outside the other, so you opened it. You grabbed your bag, but you still couldn't find the building keys.

That's when you went to the cameras quickly. A pit crawling into your stomach. There, on the kitchen counter, the few golden keys like a mockery, like a punch to the gut, laughing at you for your forgetfulness.

Then you heard the humming. It sounded sickeningly fabricated. It was the robots, the animatronics, they were coming back. You saw geto first at the same door as last time. This time, with a smile wider than Gojo's

You wanted to go to the door to close it, but he was already crossing the threshold of the office. No, no, no.

"Oh, come on. Be a brave girl. Come over here and push me out, do something. At least act like you don't want this."

"I don't!"

You yell quickly and pick that damn cupcake off of the shelf. You kick your chair towards Geto, knocking him back, then throwing the cupcake at the button, closing the door.

"Yes!"

Yelling out a shout of joy, you looked at the clock. It was 5:45. How had that much time passed in that window of horrific events. You wouldn't complain, though.

15 minutes.

For that time, you thought you'd just keep the doors closed. No harm, no foul, you could last. Until you didn't. You heard the power go out, and the doors go up. You felt fear up your spine.

"Oh, Suguru, looks like we may get to have some fun tonight after all."

"Come now, Satoru, we both know you'll be the one mainly having fun. You only left the last one to me because you got bored."

They were talking, talking about your impending doom, and you couldn't do anything because they were coming from both sides. You were sweating as you heard them coming a few tears slipping down your face. This was bad, really bad.

5:58.

"Please, please let me make it to six am. Please."

Whispering please to the universe didn't seem to be working because they were still coming. Then you saw them, eyes glowing in the dark and smiles with the intent to kill.

"Gotcha!"

Gojo's long robotic arms wrapped around your waist as you screamed and flailed.

"No, no!"

You hit at his arms, trying to pry them off. You were breathing hard fighting, but getting no where.

5:59

"Awh she's crying, God I love it when they cry."

Gojo said softly with a head on your shoulder. Geto slowly approached with... was that a suit? You thrashed a bit more, and as the mask just about went over your head, the bells chimed.

6 am.

"Damm, so close, well we have to play by the rules now, don't we, Suguru?"

Geto scoffed and rolled his eyes unceremoniously out of character. They left just as soon as they showed up. You grabbed your bag and ran to the kitchen, grabbing the building keys.

You swore you saw Gojo wink at you as you booked it out of that place faster than a bat out of hell.

How were you supposed to survive five nights?

Authors note: Good riddance that was long, but so worth it! I'm thinking about making this a series. Let me know if you'd like that. Also, comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist! Lemme know what yall think!

Taglist: @caffine-exe

[fallenprophets]

◦⭐︎・love lost

Ekko x reader

Summary: once a Firelight and Ekko's partner, you are now a mercenary, dragging yourself through jobs to make enough money to pay for food. After one too many drinks, you take a job you can't handle, and get hurt. It's no shocker who comes to your rescue.

Set at undefined time, no use of Y/N, gender neutral reader

Warnings: gore (not too bad but be mindful), swearing, mentions of death/welcoming death. 3.2 K words (oops), not proofread as always

A/N: icl guys this is one of the longer fics I've written, and definitely the angstiest one. Again, for my best friend, @sahxrii (go check out her recs, they're SO good) who I do everything for, lets be honest.

You have always prided yourself for knowing your limits; stopping when you need to stop, being reasonable about your own abilities. This has kept you out of quite a lot of trouble- avoiding fights you could not have won, not provoking people who were clearly able to whoop your ass. 

This, however, is very different, and not a common occurrence. 

First of all, you might be a little drunk- you’ve just had to numb the sting of your day with a drink, just a small one, in a tiny grimy bar run by a tall man with bright orange skin. Second of all, you’re running on two hours of sleep and painkillers (the painkillers are slowly wearing off, to make matters worse). 

And lastly, you’re in a really bad fucking mood. 

So, when your handler slides you a note with a name and address written in ugly red letters, you think fuck it, and take the job. You should’ve known this was stupid- you should’ve done what the sober, not exhausted version of yourself would have done. But instead, you accept with a bleary nod, because, to be frank, all you want at that moment is to break something. 

So you take the note, drain your drink, and leave the bar, shrugging on your worn coat. Adrenaline is already starting to buzz beneath your skin, your knuckles tingling softly in anticipation. You had never been this excited about violence when you were younger- in fact, people might have described you as gentle, even. But now, with all the things you have witnessed, all the people you’ve lost, hitting people brought a kind of release you could find nowhere else. 

Besides, there’s no one who remembers you as that gentle person left, anyway, so who are you disappointing? Yourself? You chuckle drily into the cold air, thick with gas. 

You stop in front of the building, your hands tucked into your pockets. It is big, red, and ugly (like the ink the name had been written in, you thought), bright colourful light shining from the broken windows. A Zaunite haunt, typical for a wannabe drug lord- the kind of man you were often hired to beat up or kill. You kick into the dirt at your feet, take a deep breath. You have hardly sobered up on the walk here, so your vision is still somewhat blurry, everything swimming around you like you’re underwater. 

Broken memories of swimming in an underground lake with him flitter through your mind, and you dismiss them, muttering a curse between your teeth. You roll your shoulders and make your way inside, striding in like you own the goddamn place. 

“You can’t be here,” a goon dressed all in black calls from the top of badly painted stairs. You look at him, an ugly grin splitting your face. 

“Kick me out, then,” you say, your heart already beginning to beat a little faster. 

Before you know, goons are coming at you from the sides, cracking their knuckles. The twat at the top of the stairs sneers down at you, his teeth oily and black. 

“You don’t wanna do this,” a woman on your left growls. She’s twice as big as you, her arms covered in bright red, winding tattoos. 

“I think I do,” you answer, raising your hands, which are already curled into fists. 

She lunges first, and you catch her with a right hook in the jaw. She hardly falters, but you drive your knee into her stomach. Now, she stumbles, and you leap up, narrowly avoiding an attack from another goon. You grab goon number one- the woman- and smash your forehead into her face. Her nose explodes, red and white flying all over you as she falls backwards. You spin and grab the nearest object- a stool- and bring it smack into the second goon’s middle. He collapses, and you walk over to him, drop the stool on his head. He stops moving. 

You turn to the giant of a woman, who is standing and looking at you with pure, unadulterated hatred. Her face is broken into bits, blood and spit dribbling down her chin. “Come on, then,” you say, cracking your already sore knuckles. 

She throws herself at you, twice as angry as before. You dodge, but she catches you in the shoulder. Excruciating pain shoots through you, and you realise too late that she has wicked little claw-like contraptions on her fingers. She comes at you again, slashing wildly. You jump out of the way, once again catching a claw in the face. It slices open your left cheek; pain explodes all through the area, but you grin. A challenge- you’ve always liked that. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, a child’s voice screams at you to stop, to leave, to give up. The goon from the top of the stairs is gone. You falter when you notice this- he must be warning his boss, who is your target. You double your efforts, lunging at the woman. You manage to punch her in the stomach, but your second hit, aimed at her throat, is knocked out of the way as she drives her claws into your wrist. You scream, not really in pain but in sheer shock at the sharp metal slivers protruding from your skin. 

“Should’ve left,” she sneers into your face. You spit into the bloody mess that was her nose and wrench your arm back, kicking her, hard, in the sternum. She stumbled backwards and you pull your weapon- a machete, sheathed against your back- out, spinning it around. She assesses you for a moment, with what you realise now are robotic eyes. 

Oh. 

Oh, fuck. 

You are not fighting a person, you’re fighting a robot. Or something that’s half half- the blood spilling from her face gives you the idea that she might be made of flesh and bones, but those eyes- you’ve seen them before. She’s assessing your fight patterns, and she’s going to win. 

You duck out of the way of another attack, but she manages to graze your neck with her claws. You slash wildly with your machete, to no avail- she avoids each blow easily, and the ones that do hit, she ignores happily. 

Finally, one of your attacks hits- you aim the blow upwards, and the machete carves straight through her face. Blood, huge quantities of the stuff, gushes all over you, bone shattering under the power of your blow. You yank the machete out, momentarily stunned as she stumbles to her knees, eyes fizzing out. 

“Fuck,” you pant, stumbling backwards, “fuck you.” 

Your victory is short lived. More goons are coming down the stairs, armed to the teeth. You raise your weapon, ready to fight them all if it kills you, when you feel something strange. Your shirt has been sliced open- cold hair breezes around your stomach. You look down, and are somewhat horrified to find blood; your own blood. 

All at once, you feel nausea hit. You stumble to your knees, gasping for air. She got you- you feel the pain shooting through now. She managed to sink her dirty claws into your stomach as if you were made of mist and gas. 

Everything flickers in front of you as the last few days finally hit. You’re in so much pain, it’s almost incredible- had you been an author, you would have liked to write about this one day. It’s like your insides have been ripped out (they kind of have, you suppose) and set on fire, stomped on, pissed on- you almost laugh at the thought as your head hits the ground. 

You can’t remember when you fell. 

Your vision goes dark, flickering in and out. You see the goons approach you, pick you up unceremoniously. You are outside your body, floating somewhere beyond, watching through your eyes as they drag you outside. It is raining- you wish you could feel the raindrops on your face, one last time. 

You laughed, holding out a hand. It had been a while since you had experienced rain- in the Firelights hideout, you are protected by the huge leaves of the tree; and the Firelights hideout has everything (and everyone) you could wish for, so why would you ever go outside? 

But, after hearing you sigh softly and murmur something about the only thing you miss about your old home being the rain, Ekko made it his mission to bring it back. As soon as it rained again, he took you by the arm, promising a wonderful surprise. He offered to blindfold you, but you kindly refused when you saw that he intended to take you up the tree. You had climbed together, him guiding you gently upwards; and as you’d ascended, you had heard a beautiful, soft patter; a sound that made your heart beat speed up and your throat close. Finally, you had reached the top, and he had lifted the leaves to reveal a little area above the canopy, partly shielded from the rain with a makeshift structure made of leaves and cloth. 

Now, you sat in this structure, your side flush against his, a hand held out to the pouring rain.  

“Do you like it?” He asked softly, looking at you. 

“Do I like it?” You cried, almost incredulous. “Yes, Ekko, I love it!” You turned to him, grinning so widely it almost hurt. “Thank you,” you added after a moment. “Thank you so much, Ekko.” He smiled too, and you took his face in your hands and kissed him, and Gods knew you’d never been happier. 

You’re lying in an alleyway. It’s like you can physically feel the blood leaking from you, your life draining from the gash in your stomach and the holes in your arm. The goons have left, convinced you are dead- why didn’t they check your pulse, stupid bastards? 

It has stopped raining, but you’re soaked to the bone, lying there in the dark. Someone has stolen your jacket and your machete. 

You groaned as you lifted the jacket up to the light. A bright fabric, the colour of the sunset, now stained with dark greenish grey goo. You should have known that wearing your favourite jacket down into the mines was a stupid idea, but you’d done it anyway. 

“Stupid,” you mumbled to yourself, dropping the jacket into a heap on the floor. You wondered briefly if it was salvageable, but deep down knew it wasn’t. You’d have to find a new one, which would be nowhere near as nice. 

Someone knocked on your door, and a soft voice spoke your name. 

“Come in,” you called, still staring sadly at your jacket. 

Ekko stepped inside, his presence like warm sunlight. Despite the grief caused by the ruined jacket, you smile, turning to him instantly relaxing as he wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I hear your jacket got ruined,” he said softly. 

“Yeah,” you muttered in response. “Upsetting.” He laughed. “I have something for you.” You pulled away, moving your hands to his biceps and looking at him. “What, Ekko?” You already knew what he was going to show you, but it warmed your heart all the same. 

“It’s not exactly the same colour,” he said apologetically, “but-“ 

You put a hand over his mouth, beaming. “I don’t care,” you said. 

He smiled back at you, releasing you to pull something out of his bag. It was neatly folded, but he held it out to you. You shook it out, and found a jacket, almost identical to the one that you had just ruined; it was a slightly lighter shade of orange, and the pattern on the back was a tree instead of the flowers you’d had on your last one. 

“You’re insane,” you said, in awe. You put the jacket on- it was a little too big, but who gave a shit? It was your jacket, gifted to you by your boy. 

You blink back into consciousness, and almost screamed. The pain coursing through you is like nothing you’d ever imagined; like being electrocuted and burned and drowned all at the same time. Despite the gaping hole in you, you want to curl up, to shield yourself from the wet and cold and pain. 

“Please,” you whimper into the ground, “please, no.” 

It’s not that you don’t want to die. In fact, you welcome death- you see it as a release more than anything else, from the bullshit life you lead. But dying here, like this- 

You start to cry, and you gag and retch as tears spill mercilessly. 

You are about to give in- you have given in- when a bright light seems to fill your vision. It is green and orange and yellow and pink and warm and fills everything around you. For a moment you think you’ve died, and this is some kind deity welcoming you into the next life, whispering I forgive you don’t worry as it carries you away. But no, the truth is much harsher than that. 

A face hovers into your field of vision, and warm hands tug your shirt upwards. You want to protest, but your throat is dry from all the retching and sobbing you’ve been doing. A cloth presses down into the wound in your stomach and you howl, eyes rolling back in your head as the pain grabs you by the throat and fucking throttles you. 

“Stop,” you manage to whimper. “Why- why are you doing this?” Your voice is hoarse, you’re crying again as you try to shut out the pain. 

You hear shouting- words like help and home and quick- and black out again. 

When you come to, you are no longer lying wet and dying in an alleyway miles from home (where even is home anymore? It’s just you, and that orange jacket, which you don’t even have anymore). 

Your surroundings slowly swim into focus (swimming, your brain sings, swimming in an underwater cave, hands on your waist, kisses all over). You are lying down, mercifully dry and warm. Pain pumps through you in waves, mostly coming from your wrist and your stomach. You wonder, again, if this is some afterlife- if so, it is far less cruel than your parents described. 

But then, you turn your head, and pain sears through you. 

But that is not what makes you cry. 

He lifts his head instantly as he hears your quiet sobs, and he’s at your side, a hand carefully gripping yours (he’s avoiding the bloody bandage wrapped around your wrist, you realise), the other gently brushing soft fingers over your bruised face. “It’s okay,” he says, even though you think he doesn’t mean it. It’s not okay- you ran away, got yourself beat up, almost killed, and he’s had to rescue you. Of course it’s not okay.

“Ekko,” you whimper. 

“It’s okay,” he repeats, stroking your hair away from his face. Instinctively, you curl away, wanting to hide your injury from him. He shakes his head, his eyes brimming with tears (or maybe you’re delusional, because who would cry over you?) 

“I-“ Your words are lost in a pathetic sob, and you turn your face away from him. 

“Don’t,” he says. A pause. “How are you feeling?” 

You croak out what should’ve been fuck but instead comes out as a bad imitation . You would’ve laughed, in any other situation. 

“What happened?” His voice is so soft, so kind, it makes you want to rip your eyeballs out and stuff them into your ears. 

You shake your head. You don’t want him to know what you’ve been up to since you left the Firelights. 

He lets go of your hand, and for a moment you think he’s leaving you. It wouldn’t surprise you, to be honest. But no, he doesn’t leave you. Instead, he leans over, inspects the bandages wrapped around your midsection. Your mind instantly flashes to him prodding it, digging his fingers into your wound and calling you names. You wouldn’t blame him. 

“You’re an idiot,” he says finally, still glaring at your bandaged stomach. 

“Excuse me?” That is the first full statement you manage to force past your shredded throat. 

“You’re an idiot,” he repeats with just as much gusto. “I mean, how could you just go and do this?” He gestures at your injuries. 

“I didn’t-“ 

“What, think? Yeah, I can tell.” His face is partly obscured, so you can’t tell what face he’s making. 

“I-“ 

“You’re so stupid. I mean, did you really think you could survive taking on all of the goons in that building?” He snorts to himself. “At least tell me the pay was worth it.” 

You’re somewhat incredulous. All the time you’ve known Ekko, he’s never been this outright mean to you. 

“What-“ you sputter, unable to find the words. 

“Did you not think for a moment that you might get killed?” He puts extra emphasis on the word killed, and it’s like a punch in the gut. When he turns his gaze onto you, you think you’d prefer to have the goons rip you apart than see him look at you like this ever again. 

“I’m sorry,” you manage to say through a fresh tightening in your throat. Your eyes sting and you’re about to turn away when you see his expression. 

He’s smiling. 

“What?” You almost choke out. “What is it?” 

His smile is the softest thing you’ve ever seen. It’s the sunlight, shining through the leaves of the tree; it’s the rain gently pattering on the roof of your childhood home. It’s the smell of old books and wood. 

It’s so painfully home. 

Your eyes sting, and you turn your face away from him, swallowing the bile rising in your throat. He still smiles at you like that, after everything you’ve done. 

He takes your hand again, his other beginning to gently trace patterns on the bandage on your stomach. It’s such a soft, kind gesture. He used to do that, you remember with a pang, when you two would lie in bed together: draw little patterns on your back with his fingers, when he thought you were asleep. 

“It’s okay,” he says, and for the first time, you wholeheartedly believe him. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, because those are the only words your throat will allow out. “I am.” 

“I know,” he murmurs. He hesitates, then leans forwards, kissing your forehead gently. “Just…” he trails off, his gaze now focused back on your bruised face. “Don’t do that again.” 

You promise him. Not with words, but with the feeling in your chest, the loosening of your lungs and throat as you watch him watch you. You promise him with the way your knuckles have stopped aching for more skin to break, with the way your eyes water again. 

You promise him with all that you have, because that is the least you can do for him. 

“I love you,” you mumble, almost sheepishly. 

“I love you too,” he answers; there is no hesitation, no layered but only if… behind the words. He says it back with the same confidence he gives orders, the words more of a declaration than softly spoken pretty things. 

“I’m sorry,” you add, after a few moments of just watching him breathe. 

“I love you,” is his answer. 

You shut your eyes, and he squeezes your hand. 

[wonderjanga]

regarding the post where every lantern corps wants billy as a member. What if billy vibes with dexstarr and the JL is super nervous hes gonna take a red lantern ring but hes just petting a kitty

Billy was going about his business as usual. As of now, he was bored, and he was sitting on the curb in front of his apartment complex watching two crackheads duke it out on the other side of the street. Miss Bambi was next to him smoking a cigarette and also watching. Suddenly, a strangely blue cat came out of nowhere.

Billy and Ms. Bambi: *watch the cat trot over*

Dexstarr: *meows and a red ring floats over to Billy*

Billy: “Oh, thank you, kitty!” *just shoves it in his pocket and just picks up Dexstarr and starts petting him*

Ms. Bambi: “Careful, bud. Try not to get scratched or bitten. Who knows what it could have.” *thinks this is just adorable*

Dexstarr: *stiff in Billy’s hold and letting himself be pet, honestly expecting the boy to have at least a little anger or sadness or at least something*

Billy: “I’ll go see the nice doctor guy and see if we can see why you’re blue, kitty. Then, I’ll get some money so we can get you some food!”

Dexstarr: *confused by the very sudden adoption*

Billy learned that Dexstarr was a pretty angry kitty. It scratches Billy sometimes and scratches other people a lot of times. Billy takes pride in the fact he gets scratched slightly less than other people. As for the ring the kitty gave him? He still hasn’t worn it yet. He’d moved it into his pocket dimension after it fell out of his pocket and he nearly left it in a gas station. It was probably safer there. Anyways, he’d honestly forgotten about it until one day he and Dexstarr were lounging on a roof in Fawcett. Billy then felt a small buzz from his pocket dimension, signally he got a notification from his comm. So he transformed, rightfully spooking the kitty.

Marvel: “Dex?” *trying to sound placating*

Dexstarr: *pulls out a bunch of energy constructs so he can attack Marvel*

Marvel: *dodging any attacks* “Dex! It’s me! Billy!”

The cat obviously didn’t listen seeing as that was a grown man, not the ten year old boy it’d been hanging out with for the past couple weeks.

Marvel: “Kitty, I have proof! Look!” *pulls out the ring from his pocket dimension* “Remember how you gave this to me?”

It took some more convincing despite the fact he had the ring. Thankfully, Dexstarr calmed down enough for it to allow Marvel to scratch under its chin just the way Billy knew it liked. Marvel put the ring back into the pocket dimension and sat down so he could keep scratching under its chin. He was finally able to look at the comm. Something about a meeting. Billy didn’t really want to leave Dexstarr alone, not to mention he wanted to familiarize the kitty with his Marvel form. So, he took it to the Watchtower.

He saw Hal when going to the meeting room.

Marvel: “Hey, Hal! Meet my cat, Dex!” *holds Dex up for Hal to see*

GL: *stares for a solid minute* “Is that Dexstarr?”

Marvel: “No, his name is Dexter.”

GL: “Uhm…” *looks over Dexstarr* “Nah… I’m pretty sure that’s Dexstarr.”

Marvel: “Nuh uh.”

GL: “Uh yuh huh. That’s a Red Lantern.”

Marvel: “Nah, he just looks like that.”

GL: “I- wha-” *takes a deep breath* “Cap, give me the cat.”

Marvel: “What? No, he’s my cat!” *holds Dexstarr up because he’s way taller than Hal*

GL: “Dude, no he isn’t!” *tries to reach before just flying to try and grab him*

They spent a solid five minutes of Marvel moving Dexstarr away from Hal while the Green Lantern tried to get the cat. Eventually, they got into what was basically a tug of war with the cat.

Marvel: “Defend yourself Dexstarr!”

Dexstarr: *vomits blood-plasma-acid on the floor*

Marvel: “Yeah!”

Dexstarr: *makes some super dangerous constructs with his ring to kill Hal*

Marvel: “NO!”

It took a lot to convince Dexstarr to not attack. Soon after that realization, they both also realized they were extremely late to the meeting. They both went in and sat down. The entire meeting consisted of Hal side eying him from where he sat next to Billy. He even did the ‘I got my eye on you’ sign. Billy didn’t even bother to be subtle with the way he stared back. His head was directly looking towards him as he rubbed under Dexstarr’s chin. Meanwhile, Flash, who sits on the other side of Marvel, is looking at the blue cat in Marvel’s lap in confusion. And Supes can smell a cat somewhere and he’s also confused.

Later after this, Hal gathered the other Green Lanterns and went to go confront him.

Marvel: *turns around in his chair, petting Dexter like the Godfather* “What can I help you gentlemen with.” *has the Red Lantern ring Dexstarr gave him on the hand petting the cat*

Billy doesn’t know why he was being so dramatic right now, but what he does know is that this ring doesn’t really do anything. Sure, he feels a little bit more irritable, but oh well. To be honest, he just feels like Billy. As for the blood thing and replacing of the heart, Billy is pretty sure Marvel doesn’t have either of those things. He’s just magic.

All three GL’s: *dramatic gasps when they see the ring*

Guy Gardner: “Hand over the cat, Cheese. He’s super dangerous.”

Marvel: *shrugs* “It was probably self defense.”

John Stewart: “That might be true, but that doesn’t change the fact.”

Marvel: “So? You think I’ll just hand over my son like that?”

Guy: “Your son?”

Marvel: “He’s practically my son.”

Hal: *shares a look with Guy and John* “…Right. Listen. Captain, if you don’t hand him over, we’ll have to take him by force.”

Marvel: *sounds distinctly colder than any of them had ever heard* “Do you really think you three could beat me?”

That’s how Marvel ended up getting 21 v 1’d and somehow ended up winning. As for where the other 19 people came from. They called in reinforcements from nearby sectors. Thats how badly they were getting beaten.

Moral of the story, bro really likes his cat-son. Ha. Catson. Billy Batson and Dexstarr Catson.

Marvel also holds Dex just like this because I say so.

[eclairemaire]

the sound of music pt. 2

masterlist | playlist | part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

Pairing: Lewis Pullman x Reader Category: Fluff Summary: Stranded in a 24-hour diner in the middle of nowhere, you make an unlikely companion as you bond over the sound of music. Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: Swearing, fast-burn??? (idk), No mention of Y/N, Reader is a little slow on the uptake, Self-degrading, saying the Lord's name in vain(for religious people). Notes: This is part 2 of this series. I hope everyone enjoys. Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction; all characters are just that, characters, and have no ties to their real-life counterparts.

Lewis still had hold of your hand as he pushed out the door of the diner into the pouring rain and toward his truck, completely ignoring your outburst. Once you were both settled in the vehicle, him in the driver's seat and you in the passenger seat, you turned to face him, a grave expression on your face, as you took in his facial features more acutely. He was attractive, but you knew that already, his eyes that dark, stormy blue. After staring at his face for so long, he started to flush and look sheepish, and that's when you started to recognise him for seemingly the first time since you met him earlier in the day. 

Lewis watched as astonishment and realisation started to fill your expression, until you were openly gaping at him. “Holy shit,” it was a whisper, hardly sounded like you meant to say it at all and then louder “Holy shit, sweet baby jesus…” Your swearing continued for a solid two minutes, your head was in your hands as your elbows rested on your knees, and you looked like you were contemplating your whole existence. 

Lewis was very amused, watching you have a slight existential crisis in the passenger seat of his Tacoma. After a minute of watching you contemplate, he put his key in the ignition and started the car, before putting in an address into the navigation. “Buckle up,” he muttered as he started to put on his seatbelt.

The rumble of the engine and his speaking seemed to break you out of your downward spiral. “Oh my fucking lord, I’m living every sixteen year olds dream right now,” your voice was a murmur as you went through the motions of buckling up and plugging in your phone to charge. “It makes so much sense why that waitress was flirting with you.” He laughed, the one where he sounded like he was in pain, as he started to reverse out of his parking spot before turning onto the road.

“Thank you, by the way, for asking me what song you should turn on. Saved me the trouble of telling her I wasn’t interested,” he spoke, eyes now focused on the road.

“Oh, you’re welcome, you seemed uncomfortable, just thought you could use an out of the conversation, she clearly couldn’t take a hint,” you reply as you go to grab a book out of your bag to read while he drives. 

The conversations dwindled from there; it wasn’t quite silence, the navigation gave directions here and there, and there was some quiet contemporary music playing in the background. It was far from awkward; you were both content to share the space as you both embarked on a journey.

At some point, you had fallen asleep, and you were woken up by Lewis, who had stopped at a gas station to refill the tank and get some food. 

“Hey, sleepy head,” He smiled at you as you opened your eyes. It was bright now, but the sun wasn’t high in the sky yet, meaning it was still before noon. “Thought you might want to get something to eat and to maybe use the restroom before we continue on.”

“Well, aren’t you a gentleman?” You let out a quiet yawn as you stretched your arms above your head. You get out of the car to take care of business and to grab some food. Looking at the sign, you saw he had stopped at a 7/11, it looked to be one of the less-shitty ones that you had seen throughout your time hitchhiking. 

After using the restroom and refilling your water bottle and grabbing some of the shitty gas station food you walk back over to the truck. Lewis had just finished pumping the gas when you walked up. “You need me to drive the next leg?” You ask as he turns to look at you before wiping his hands on his pants. “No offence, but you look dead on your feet.”

“Do you even know how to drive?” His voice had a teasing lilt to it as he watched your expression change from a smile to affronted.

“I’ll have you know I’ve been driving since I could sit in a go-kart.” You put your finger to his chest in an accusing manner before pushing slightly, and he rocked back onto his heels as he raised his hands in surrender.

“Ok, ok, I believe you.” He digs the keys out of his pocket to hand them to you, “I’ll be back in just a moment.” With that, he heads toward the entrance of the gas station, and you go around to the driver's seat. When you get in, you put the key in the ignition and adjust the seat to your height. You put on a ball cap, from inside his truck, not really paying attention to which one. So you don't have to deal with your hair. You connect to the truck's Bluetooth and turn on ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ by Frank Sinatra and Antônio Carlos Jobim. You’re singing along when Lewis opens the passenger door. 

“Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking And when she passes, each one she passes goes "aah" When she walks, she's like a samba That swings so cool and sways so gentle that When she passes, each one she passes goes "ooh" Ooh, but I watch her so sadly How can I tell her I love her? Yes I would give my heart gladly But each day, when she walks to the sea She looks straight ahead, not at me”

You smile at him and pause the music, and look towards him as he settles into the passenger seat. He turns to look at you after finally settling, and he sees the hat that you're wearing and cracks a large grin. 

“Are you wearing my hat?” he asks.

“I mean, I just grabbed one from in here,” you gesture to the interior of the truck. “I assume it's your hat. I didn’t want to get mine from my bag.” You say as you take the hat off to look at it. It was one of his Mack truck hats that had a bulldog on it, you smile to yourself before putting it back on your head, and giving him a smirk and a wink before you turn the music back on and pull out of the gas station lot. 

You continue to sing softly under your breath as you drive. After maybe 30 minutes of doing whatever on his phone, Lewis falls asleep.

It isn’t until a few hours later that he wakes up, you don’t notice whats so ever, still singing under your breath as you tap along to the beat of the song playing. That’s when he noticed the song playing for the first time, ‘A Dog’s Adventure’.

“Dance, feels like another life Go through days to see only black and white Take me to gold trees out the windows Like me 'cause I like you Let's watch water turn blue We're just dogs out in the street, ooh”

He couldn’t help but admire you in all your chaotic beauty. You still wore his hat, covering your sleep-mussed hair, and at some point during his nap found a pair of his golf oakley’s that looked a touch too big for your face. You were still in the clothes you were wearing at the diner, but you had shed a layer or two since then, now just in a faded t-shirt covered in oil stains and a pair of jeans that had loads of paint stains on them and cowboy boots. The light from the afternoon sun was hitting your face in a way that made your skin glow, and reflected in your eyes that he could faintly see them through the sunglasses.

When you finally noticed he was awake, it was just after the song had ended, you sent a beaming smile in his direction, and reached out to pause the next song before it even really started.

“Hey, how was your nap?” You grab a water bottle out of one of the cup holders and hold it towards him. “You were sleeping like a log, tried to wake you up earlier when I stopped to refill the tank, you didn’t so much as move a muscle.” He took the water bottle from you, and you moved your hand back to resting on the bottom of the steering wheel.

“What song were you listing to just a moment ago?” He asked acting oblivious as he took a swig from the bottle.

“Oh, did you enjoy it? It’s called ‘A Dog’s Adventure’, it’s by an indie band called Atta Boy. I’m going to one of their shows in September.” You reply, completely oblivious to his scheming as he hides a smirk behind another swig of his water bottle.

“They haven’t released much music, but I think the quality of their music makes up for it.” You say with a smile, the compliment so genuine, he almost didn’t have the heart to break the news to you.

“Do you know who wrote the song?” He was trying so hard to suppress his smile. You looked over at him with a look that said ‘Of course I do’.

“Yeah, their drummer wrote it while they were still in high school.” He was impressed but also so confounded by you, still not putting the pieces together. “Ya’ know his name's Lewis, too. I never really bothered learning their last names. He was a cute kid. I found the video online, back when I still lived with my parents. Glasses, a little bit of baby fat in his cheeks.” 

Lewis couldn’t believe what he was hearing, you still didn’t realise that he was the very quote unquote kid you were describing.

“Sweetheart…” He said with an exasperated sigh.

“Huh? What? Why are you calling me Sweetheart all a sudden?” You gave him a glance, your eyes held confusion as you looked towards him. He gave you a look. “No. Don’t you dare!” You jab a finger towards him. “I am driving. Do not give me that look. I don’t think I can handle you dropping a bomb like that while I’m driving. We’re putting a pin in this, and we can continue at the next stop.” Your words were final, and you punctuated the end of the conversation by turning the music back on and turning up the volume. ‘Linger’ by The Cranberries is now playing through the truck's speakers.

An hour later, you pull into a parking spot at a rest stop. You roll the windows down slightly before turning off the truck and taking the keys out of the ignition, and stuffing them into your pocket.

Turning to Lewis, you look at him as you take his sunglasses off your face to rest them on the bill of the hat you wore. You cross your arms over your chest as he also turns to face you, resting his arms on the center console, looking very amused. 

During the hour after he woke up and you arriving at the rest stop two more songs by Atta Boy had cycled through your playlist and each time he’d get a smug expression on his face, that slightly made you want to smack him on the shoulder. 

You gather all your mental strength as you prepare yourself for the question you’re about to ask him. “Are you the drummer for the band Atta Boy?” He nods his head, a grin starting to stretch across his face. “And you're also the same guy who played Bob in Top Gun?” He nodded again, his grin now like a cheshire cat, as a mortified expression overcame your face. 

“I’m such a fucking idiot, how the hell did I not recognise you?” Your voice started soft. “I mean come on your fucking GORGEOUS! What the fuck is wrong with me?” Your voice grew louder the longer you questioned the usefulness of your brain.

“It was quite endearing hearing your unfiltered opinion about my band, and you not knowing who I was when we met,” Lewis interjected. You looked at him with a look of renewed embarrassment.

“I talked about how cute you looked as a high schooler. I said that to your face. I never thought I’d actually meet you. Lord knows I’m just as delusional as the next person. But hell, I somehow ended up in your car." You pause, "Oh my god, I’ve been driving you around for the past seven hours. I need a walk.” With that being the end of your rant you grabbed his keys out of your pocket set them on the center console near where he was resting his arms and then proceeded to what could only be hurling yourself out of the truck like your ass was on fire.

Lewis just looked from where you were once sitting to where you were now pacing around the rest stop through the windshield. Deciding it was probably better to let you figure out your feelings, he went through the motions of a rest stop break, restroom, brief walk, snack, and getting water. You were still pacing when he got back to the truck, but you now had your phone held up to your ear and seemed to be talking to someone on the phone, your other hand was making dramatic motions as you wore a hole into the ground from your pacing.

Getting his own phone out he called Danny, it rang once before he picked up. “Hey man what’s up?” Danny asked through the line.

“I might have made a spontaneous decision that may affect me for the rest of my life.” Lewis said his voice not hiding his amusement.

“What did you get a tattoo or something on your drive back to Cali?” He could hear the smile in Danny’s voice.

“Or Something…” Lewis trailed off as he looked at you still on the phone, your expression exasperated, you still had his hat and sunglasses on, the sunglasses were sliding down the bridge of your nose slightly, and you had since turned the cap backwards.

“Whoa, what did you do? You didn’t like shave your head right, like Sebastian, your designer would be so pissed if you did that, hell I’d be mad if you did that, your hair is amazing man.”

“I met someone.” Lewis said his voice fond.

“You met someone… Is this like a ‘Lewis Pullman Movie Star’ met someone, or a Lewis ‘Let me be’ met someone?” Danny asked, his voice was inquisitive and slightly cautious.

“Both, you’ll get to meet ‘em when you visit next month. Hopefully,” he tacked on at the end as he watched you put your phone into your pocket and plop yourself onto the ground a moment later.

“Meet them? Are you taking them home like they’re a stray?” Danny asked voice incredulous. “Did you pick someone up off the street?”

Lewis seemed to finally start feeling sheepish, “Maybe?”

“Maybe what do you mean ‘Maybe?’ What does that mean? Did you really pick someone off the side of a street and decide they needed to come with you? I know you have a heart of gold, but they could be a serial killer!” Danny seemed extremely concerned now.

“They’re not gonna kill me,” Lewis said when he saw you start approaching the truck again. “Anyway, I gotta go talk later. Bye.” And with that, he ended the call just as you got into the passenger seat.

masterlist | playlist | part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

Taglist: @smoothdogsgirl @bmyva1entine @daisydark @sadpetalsstuff @xblueriddlex @louloulemons-posts@alloboinga84@articel1967@dazed-and-confused101 @wutheringheightstillpendalhill

[sufrimientilia]

characters on the run

always so tired. driving for hours and hours in whatever shitty beater they find or steal, downing caffeine and too many five-hour energy shots pickpocketed from some gas station

sleeping cramped up in some bus or train seat, slumped over in a transit terminal, hoodie pulled up tight in the hopes of not being recognized

nodding off but jerking awake every single time, exhausted but hardwired to be paranoid even with caretaker's gentle touch and quiet reassurances trying to get them to rest

so much time spent running or fighting they eventually just crash. stoic characters slumped and snoozing, trying to keep watch and instead getting some much needed rest

lurching awake in a cold sweat, gasping and trembling, bandages wrapped tight up and down their torso

"we're safe here. i promise."

"it's okay-- it was just a dream, i didn't hear anything..."

shot or stabbed while trying to lose a chase. limping through crowds, desperately acting causal, traces of blood left on everything they touch

collapsing and drawing a scene, strangers asking questions and touching all over. having to slip away from concerned bystanders before actual help (or trouble) arrives

washing off in some shitty public bathroom and leaving behind a horror show of bloodied paper towels and smeared fingers all over porcelain, too out of it and in a rush to actually bother cleaning up

character bleeding out and semiconscious and caretaker doesn't know what to do, has nowhere to go. desperately trying to drag them along as the threat gets closer and closer, or hiding and waiting and begging for them to wake up

when it's too dangerous to go to a hospital. makeshift first aid in the back of some car, breaking into a vet clinic after hours, slumped over in a dank alleyway or dirty bathroom. shaking fingers and dim lighting and nowhere comfortable to recover

all of the places to lie low are sketchy as hell. trap houses, back rooms, dive bars, strip clubs, late night joints where passing acquaintances are somehow okay with shady strangers crashing on their couch. always surrounded by a bad crowd and caught up in seedy shit

wearing the same clothes which get increasingly fucked up. fabric lost to makeshift bandages or tourniquets, blood stains and sweat, the same hoodie passed between characters getting worn and sentimental

long sleeves, oversized clothes, shitty makeup, hoods and sunglasses and hats, anything to hide their identity and all of the bruises and cuts

barely any money to their name. having to choose between filling up on gas or eating, counting remnants of change, stealing food or dine and dashing out of necessity. barely scrapping by and working any job on the low, just oh so easy to take advantage of

getting sick, but it's not like they get a break from running. feverishly wandering around, catching concerned looks from strangers, never getting the chance to rest properly so they just get worse and worse

getting so desperate they eventually call for help. trembling and hunched over in a phone booth, nervously knocking on caretaker's door, so rundown and pitiful of course they wouldn't be turned away, where the fuck have they been?

[studiogrimm810]

Spring Cleaning

pairings/characters: (established) dean winchester x plus size!afab!you, sam is barely there

summary: a tiring day of helping dean clean up the impala has left you exhausted, sensitive, and self-critical. especially after finding something from dean’s bachelor days

warnings: sexual suggestions, mentions of porn, self-image issues, paranoia from past relationships, past enemies-to-lovers vibes

word count: 3,293

A/N: this was (kinda) a request!! based on the comments of a sam fic i posted a but ago from @aryaharmon and @bejeweledinterludes , i hope you enjoy this one <3

———————

Spring cleaning. Something that Dean never took into account until you mentioned it and damn did Baby need it. Dean is a man who prides himself on his car, he makes sure to keep her in mint condition on the outside and the inside. Well, by the inside he means the engine. The back seat, however, stays a cluttered mess of a tipped over trash can- Sam’s attempt at getting Dean to keep things tidy- some old newspapers, plastic bags from gas station stops, and too many receipts.

At least Dean is picky about food in the car, his issue is mainly simple discarded dry goods.

Now, ever since you’ve made a habit of hunting with the boys and leaving your car behind, you’ve been on him about cleaning it up so it isn't so crowded. Well today’s the day.

It’s a wonderfully sunny, but not too hot, day. Birds are chirping, wind is rustling through trees, and milky clouds puff through the sky for occasional shade. The perfect day for outdoor labor.

Dean pulled the car out of the garage of the bunker, wanting to also give Baby a good wash and wax.

“It’s a damn fine day,” Dean squints out at the sky, shading his eyes from the sun. He leans back into the car and gets a pair of sunglasses, slipping them on and looking around the area.

“Perfect,” you say, throwing your hair up into a ponytail. “Get motivated, cause Baby here’s gonna get a spa day.”

Dean smirks at you, watching as you pull back your hair and adjust your sports bra. He was very fond of the outfits you would favorite on a warm, stay-at-home day because lately it's been a tight-fitting sports bra and loose shorts that ride high on your waist and frame your ass into a perfect heart.

If you’re being honest, you just feel lucky enough to not worry about any derogatory comments from a man you’re dating like you’ve been used to in the past. You’re a quite confident woman and you like to be comfortable even at the expense of your own modesty, but sometimes so much exposed skin can bother you. Especially when you start to sweat.

“Let’s get some music goin’!” Dean pumps, grabbing a radio from inside the garage and positioning it so that the speakers flow towards the car.

“You actually gonna let me play something other than the hair rock or death metal or whatever it is you love?” You ask with a thoughtless head tilt and your hands on your hips. You like winding him up about his music.

“I’m not even gonna explain how wrong you are,” Dean rolls his eyes, pressing some buttons on the stereo and it soon blasts some familiar tracks.

“Oh, right. I forgot, you prefer the term ‘divorced dad rock’,” you nod with an understanding smile and he looks back up at you with a serious face that makes you cackle. He starts to walk towards you and you hold out your hands. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry,” you defend in a surprised shriek between giggles, “just don’t come any closer.”

His lips twitch in a betraying smile as he continues forward, lifting you up and starting to lecture you on the proper and preferred terminology that you’ll never remember. He places you on the hood of the Impala, keeping your legs locked around his waist so you have nowhere to go.

“And then, in the 80s-.”

“Dean!” You interrupt, slapping his chest, “put me down.” Your laughter ripples away softly, stomach sore and cheeks stiff from smiling. He throws his head back with a groan, like a child, and mutters a pouty ‘fine’ before kissing your nose and letting you have your ability to walk back.

You straighten up your clothes, shorts having bundled up from the positions you were lifted in, and Dean gives you a knowing wink.

Music plays and conversation flows. At one point, Sam comes out with a couple of beers and offers his help but Dean waves him off and just requests that Sam handles something for lunch.

After Sam retreated back inside, you slid on the floor of the back seat to pull any lost items from under the front bench. It was a majority of discarded empty gum wrappers, straw wrappers, and a few pens Sam must’ve lost. But there was one larger piece of… something reflective. You strain to reach it from under the driver's side and upon contact, you can tell it’s a magazine. You pull it out, ready to toss the item in the trash but once you catch a glimpse of the cover, your face pales in embarrassment.

Embarrassment? Really?

That reaction didn’t make sense to you at all but it was absolutely what you were feeling as you looked at the crinkled cover of ‘Busty Asian Beauties’.

You know Dean, you have for a while, and you know that this is his go-to skin mag- hell, you’ve heard him and Charlie boast once or twice about some of the women in this thing- but you couldn’t grasp why it was embarrassing to see. You cleared your throat and climbed out of the Impala.

“Lose somethin’?” You ask, squinting from the sun and tossing Dean the magazine. He catches it and looks it over with a raised brow, moving up his sunglasses to his head. You anxiously wait for his reaction, trying to anticipate if your misunderstood embarrassment will evolve to anger or insecurity. Then he tosses it in the trash with a disinterested shrug, sauntering over to you and wetting his lip.

“Not even a little bit, baby, I got all I need right here,” he looks at your lip and pulls you in by your hips to kiss you gingerly, his thumb caressing your bare abdomen.

Okay, totally not what you had expected. Dean had been flirtatious with you since you two met and you honestly used to somewhat despise him for it. You saw him as a womanizer who would drool over anyone kind enough to show him some skin. You knew the kind of guy he could be and that was honestly the main reason you brushed off his advances for so long, you seriously thought he just flirted with everyone. But you took a chance on him and have been cautious ever since, keeping an eye out for a moment like what could have just been.

But instead he skimmed over the cover like it was a shoe with gum stuck to it and threw it away.

You smile into the kiss, a small but loaded smile that is more relief than anything. The embarrassment starts to fizzle away as he pulls away.

“Now let's get the hose,” he says with a devious glint.

Dean has an abundant array of products in the garage to freshen up Baby with- and he has the nerve to diss Sam for his conditioner- that you don’t really know what to grab. So you just go based on color. A red here, purple spray there, oh, and a cool-looking neon green that’s really syrupy.

By the look on Dean’s face once you return, you’d reckon you just slashed all of Baby’s tires and carved a slur in her hood.

“What?” You ask, already ruffled by his dramatic attitude at the products in your hands.

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head and walks with purpose to snatch the items back and go to collect the right assortment.

You stifle a laugh as he grumbles something about ‘not teaching you good enough’ and how he has to change that.

He returns with a completely different set of products but you see that he’s kept the green so you lose the attitude a tad.

“These are for the summer. The heat, rain, humidity. The shit you brought over was basically redundant chemicals that will speed up the rusting process,” he looks up at you with raised brows to make sure you’re taking him seriously. You pinch your lips together to not laugh and even frown a bit to help prevent the humor tickling your muscles into a smirk.

“We start with this,” he places some hot pink bottle that looks good enough to drink in front of you that reads ‘Classic Suds’. He then hands you a bucket and a rag. “Let’s get to it.”

Dean instructs how much soap to fill and how to suds it up with the hose. He even hands you a ‘special tool’ that's just a fancier sponge for the tires and only the tires. You have to repeat it to him three times before he can trust you won't use it on the paint.

More music is played and then lunch is eaten and soon enough it’s time to wash away the suds that Dean wanted to sit while the trio ate.

Sam retreated back inside to take care of some other chores and Dean hosed Baby down. You made the unfortunate decision to stand in Dean’s line of sight because before you can even register his pause, you’re doused in warm water that sprays over you effortlessly like a handheld sink faucet.

“Hey!” You scream, trying to stop the water with your hands but you’re already beyond soaked.

Dean laughs, but tries to play it off, “ya just looked like you needed a refresh,” he shrugs with wide eyes like ‘what else could I have possibly done?’.

“You dick,” you laugh in pure shock and a little anger. You dart at him and he dashes away, spraying you to try and get you to stop. You don’t let up, and you’re half tempted to dump the bucket of soap and grime on him but you know he’ll then just try to hug you with it.

The chase halts as both of you are on complete opposite sides of the Impala. You’re both panting and staring right at each other.

“Dean, I swear to god,” you huff, wiping some soaked strands of hair away from your forehead. You feel like a wet cat, all raggedy and gross, and you’re now aware of how little your clothes do for you as the fabric of your shorts cling to your hips and your sports bra has been turned sheer from the water.

“What?”

You don’t know.

You’re just flustered now and cold and want to dunk him in an ice bath as a repercussion. You sigh in frustration, looking down and seeing the ‘special’ sponge from earlier. You scoff, picking it up and showing him. His face falls and he points at you.

“Put that down! She has no part in this,” Dean warns.

“Your turn,” you shrug, “take it off,” you tick your head to his flannel and jeans. He glares at you. “I’m half naked and soaked, it’s your turn.”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” he says with a playful wink, turning your comment dirtier than you intended. You scoff with a smile you can’t stop from forming, you try to move your tongue along the inside of your cheek to prevent it, but it's no use. You bring the sponge closer to Baby. “Okay! Jesus, fine,” he rolls his eyes, unbuttoning his flannel and ripping off his jeans next. While he stripped, you walked over slowly and snatched the hose just in time for him to be to late to grab it back.

“Redemption, Winchester,” you say before blasting him with water like he did you. He initially flinches at the brust right at his face but inevitably just stands and takes it, opening his eyes once the stream stops. He deadpans at you, spitting out some water off to the side and then back at you.

“Happy?” He asks. Despite his resting bitchface of annoyance, he does really hope you are.

“Very,” you nod with a happy smile.

———

Baby sits pretty and shiny in her designated spot in the garage while Dean puts everything away and you let the sun dry up the last bit of your clothes.

It’s warm as the sun's rays kiss your skin while you bask in a reclined patio chair. Dean comes back but you don’t open your eyes yet.

“You’re gonna get a weird tanline if you don’t take those off,” he refers to the sunglasses of his you stole.

“Just a few more minutes,” you sigh, enjoying every ounce of Vitamin D your skin can soak up.

“Right, well, I’m gonna take a shower. Don’t get burnt to a crisp,” he leans over to kiss your forehead before walking back through the garage. You sneak a peek at the way his damp boxers hug his ass mighty fine.

Long enough time passes and you know you’ll either have to flip over for an even tan or head inside soon and get cleaned up. You settle for the latter, knowing you’ll most likely fall asleep out here if you relax too much more.

Inside of the bunker is a dark contrast due to the transition from being outside most of the day, but your vision fades back soon enough. You hear Sam and Dean talking in the library, but you head straight to yours and Dean’s shared room. You haven’t ‘officially’ moved in exactly but, due to the hunting lifestyle, you were technically homeless, so you let Dean’s offer to share a room speak for itself.

You grab your bag with simple necessities from a chair in the room and go to the bathroom, setting the bag on the counter and looking at your reflection.

Good lord.

Your hair is a frizzy mess, ponytail retightened so many times causing little bubbles along your scalp. You cringe. Your skin is flushed from the sun and work out of the task of the day and your bra has shifted on your torso. You look a mess.

Embarrassment. It’s coming back and you hate it. You don’t understand it, but the thought of Dean seeing you like this makes you wanna hide and cry and you can’t believe you’ve just gone all day like this.

It makes no sense. Any man you've been with before who’s even had something to say about your appearance, you've just told them to hit the road and turned on your heel, but the fear you feel of Dean finding something physically wrong with you makes you sick.

Scared. It makes you scared. Like you’re scared to lose him.

Embarrassed that you don’t look like the women he’s lusted after all his life and scared that he’ll realize that and you’ll lose him just like you've lost every other man you’ve dated.

You sigh, almost groan, at the churn of emotions in your chest but you try to shove it away and focus on a shower. Maybe if you look nicer you’ll feel better- you’ll get your confidence back.

But the universe hates you today so instead Dean enters the room and sees you in the bathroom.

“Hey, you’re alive,” he teases, walking over to hold you but you pretend not to see him reach for you and side-step to look through your bag. His face falls a bit out of confusion but he doesn't comment. “I think I’m in need of another shower, might have to join ya,” he winks but you don’t look up as you pull out some needed items.

“That’s okay, I’ll just be quick,” you brush off, taking down your hair and brushing it out, still avoiding his gaze.

He’s quiet and shuffles around a bit.

“Hey,” his hand reaches out to stop you brushing. “What’s wrong?” He asks, completely confused but concerned with your tone switch. He had one of the most fun days of his life but you’re not reflective of that earlier joy at all.

“Just tired. The sun drained me,” you finally meet his eyes and attempt a smile but he gives you a look that tells you he knows you’re just bullshitting him.

You’re stubborn and stay quiet.

“Is it the magazine?” He asks with a slight wince. “Cause I promise that’s old, I mean that was early edition old,” he defends but then realizes knowing the specifics of the magazine from just a glance isn’t helping his case. “I swear, sweetheart, you’re more than all I need,” he says with a slight head shake like he’s completely lovesick and trying to portray such.

You still stay quiet, looking off to the side and catching a glimpse of your unflattering and slouched posture in the mirror. You sigh and screw your eyes shut, turning away and leaning against the counter.

“Baby,” he beckons, coming to stand in front of you and push some messy hair back, “talk to me.”

Tears sting your eyes and your heart is racing, this fucking sucks.

“I’m just a mess,” you almost whisper from emotional exhaustion. Today really has drained you, that wasn’t a lie. Dean can tell you’re speaking as the words come so he doesn’t interrupt, he just wipes away a tear as it falls and tries to ignore the voice in his head telling him that this is his fault.

“My hair is everywhere, my clothes are all bundled up and I’m sweaty and just feel gross,” you sigh, dropping your head into your hands. “It’s just hard being reminded how not your type I am.”

He stiffens a bit and his hold even slacks. You feel absolutely ridiculous. If it wasn’t your looks that was gonna make him run, then it would surely be your whining about them.

“Who said you aren’t my type?” He asks, peeved that someone actually had told you that. His hands rest on your shoulders as he waits.

“No one,” you mumbled. Embarrassed.

That makes him feel even worse- that you had just assumed what you said was true. What had he done to lead you to that conclusion?

“Look at me,” he requests, keeping his hands where they are. When you fall mute, he gently grabs your wrists and waits for you to lift up and look at him. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” He asks but you just look off to the side.

He sighs softly and spins you around to face the mirror.

“I see…” he runs his hands over your waist until they rest right on your tummy. “Messy hair and flushed cheeks that remind me of how good you let me please you, and beautiful hips that can’t even be properly contained by some simple shorts,” he reaches back and grabs your ass gently with a smirk, pressing you into the counter just a bit.

He kisses your neck and looks back ahead, “I see comfortable worn clothes that make you look at home- happy and safe,” he enunciates with a serious and vulnerable look.

“I see a woman who is confident in her own skin and knows how good she really looks even if she doesn’t always feel it.” He hugs you from behind fully, kissing your temple, “I see a woman who just spent a perfectly good day with me to help me clean out my car and is beat because the sun has drained her. And most importantly, I see a woman who needs to be taken care of,” he whispers the last sentence in your ear, kissing quietly and reaching to lift your bra off over your shoulders. Then he turns you back around, kneeling in front of you as he slips down your shorts.

His hands go to grab the meat of your thighs and he looks up at you- vulnerable and yearning, like he’s just begging you to give him the ‘okay’ to touch you how he needs to.

“I see goddamn perfection.”

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

>tags: @blossomingorchids @areswasneverhere @bejeweledinterludes @funkenniffler

[ellswritings]

Shake It For Me

Cody Rhodes x Reader

TW: Country music (ik ik, I’m sorry. It’s cute tho I promise), cursing, men who can’t take no for an answer, Cody being possessive/protective, foul language, some spiciness (2/10), neck kissing, I think that’s it…

Tags: @reebs-luvs-rhodes-and-wrestling

═══════•°• ⚠ •°•═══════

Nashville Tennessee.

One of Y/N’s favorite places to be. Whenever she saw that they would be putting on a show in Music City, she couldn’t help but smile. It was one of the only other places she would consider living in besides her hometown. The people are amazing, the food is phenomenal, the sights are beautiful, and even though she would never admit it out loud, country music is her guilty pleasure.

When the plane landed earlier that day, she was practically buzzing with excitement. Everyone in the locker room watched her with amusement as she went through the entire day with a huge smile on her face. Her energy was so contagious that she managed to convince even the people who usually don’t like going out after shows to go out with them to the bar.

Cody watched his best friend with nothing but adoration and enthusiasm. He loves seeing her like this, so in her element. He spent the entire day before the show with her, allowing her to drag him to all of her favorite places. Broadway Street, her favorite hole-in-the-wall barbecue joint, the boot shop she always stopped at even though she already had a closet full of cowboy boots. They decided to sight see while they could since they had to spend the entirety of their Friday at the arena for SmackDown.

It was already pretty late after the show ended and the talent was released, but she was determined to go out to the bar. She had her outfit for the night packed in her gym bag and everything. A sparkly red top, cut off shorts, and a nice pair of brown cowboy boots. She looked like a native to the city. Even with exhaustion swirling around inside them, simply seeing the bright smile on her face was enough to get everyone to the bar she had found.

It was one of the most lovely honky tonk bars in Nashville. People were eating, talking, dancing, and drinking. It carried a wholesome feeling where tourists and locals could come together just to enjoy their evening. It was a safe place where everyone could soak in the neon lights and whiskey-heavy air.

And Y/N was absolutely thriving.

Cody, on the other hand, was just along for the ride.

It's not that he didn’t want to be there. He always went out with Y/N after shows when she wanted to go. Sometimes they would simply go back to their shared hotel room and watch a movie, or they’d do a little snack run to a local gas station and sit up talking, it all just depended. But the two of them always ended up sharing a hotel room whenever going anywhere, so they usually drove and stuck together when going out.

He had a beer in his grip, the condensation of the glass hitting the soft skin of his hand due to the humidity in the air. His drink was mostly untouched, only a sip here and there. They planned on calling an uber when it came time to leave, but something inside of him told him not to drink. He leaned against the bar nodding along to whatever Josh and Jon were saying to one another. He wishes he could say he was paying attention, but truthfully, he wasn’t. His eyes kept flickering to Y/N.

She managed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. From conversations and laughing with Rebecca (Becky Lynch), to taking tequila shots with Bianca and Trinity, and even dancing to the beat while she talked animatedly to Kevin and Rami. She fit right into the lively scene, looked like she was exactly where she belonged standing under the flashing lights.

Cody always knew she loved nights out like this. Where it was everyone just enjoying their time, not worried about catching an early flight or interviews. She said it felt like a family outing, and with all of them being on the road so much and being away from home, it was nice to have a makeshift family here.

There was just something different about seeing her here though. Seeing her in her true element, completely in her zone, having all the fun in the world. It was nice seeing her so carefree. Y/N has a tendency of carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She takes on her own burdens along with everyone else’s, because that’s just who she is. She loves everyone and would do anything to help.

That’s what drew him to her in the first place. They’ve been friends since his ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes phase. Even when he left WWE, she was the one person who consistently kept in touch with him, who went out of her way to visit him in Atlanta, who came to see his shows when he was in AEW, who never missed a birthday or important milestone in his life. She even threw him a huge welcome back party when he returned to WWE. Y/N stood by his side always. She truly was his best and closest friend.

“You know… you got a bit of a staring problem.”

Cody blinked, turning his head over to Colby who took the empty seat next to Josh and Jon. The twins snicker at the man’s joke causing Cody to roll his eyes playfully. The knowing smirk on his three friends' faces makes him sigh, pushing his beer further away from him.

“I do not,” he denies smoothly, keeping his face stoic. He tries to cover up his reaction by retaining an unbothered tone, but glass is harder to see through.

“Uh-huh,” Colby nods mockingly, taking a sip of his own drink. “Anyone who’s glanced your way knows those baby blues have been on her since we got here.”

“He’s got a point,” Jon jumps in with a menacing grin. “You like lookin’ at her so much, why don’t you just… I don’t know– hang out with her?” He quips sassily.

“I am hanging out with her,” Cody tells them. “She’s just having fun with other people too. I don’t need to suffocate her all the time.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Josh chuckles. “Don’t y’all practically live together? Stayin’ in the same hotel rooms n’ shit. Woulda thought you’d be attached at the hip tonight. ‘Specially after her win against Natalya.”

“I’m just letting her enjoy her night,” Cody tries to laugh it off. “Damn. It’s almost like you want me to be following her around.”

“It is entertaining watching you trail her like a puppy dog,” Colby laughs obnoxiously, Cody lightly smacking his arm.

“I don’t follow her around.”

“Sure, man,” Colby pats his back, getting up to go bother his wife. “Keep tellin’ yourself that.”

Cody ignores him, but he does force himself to look away from Y/N. It makes him uneasy taking his eyes off of her. Despite Y/N knowing Nashville like the back of her hand, neither of them are from here. It’s a city filled with strange people that they don’t know. Anything could happen and it makes him shift uncomfortably. It takes about five minutes before he finally caves and turns back around to find her.

That’s when the music shifts.

It’s a newer song that she showed him in the car a few months ago. “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” by Shaboozey. He remembers her mentioning there was a line dance that accompanied the tune, but they never had enough time for her to teach it to him.

He watches as Y/N’s face lights up. She excitedly shakes Bianca’s arm, a small squeal escaping her lips. “C’mon, I know this one!” She exclaims, trying ot pull the EST onto the dance floor.

Biance laughs but shakes her head, “You pick the one damn dance I don’t know.”

“I can show it to you,” Y/N pleads. “Please, please, please, please…” she folds her hands together beggingly.

“Just go do it,” Bianca encourages her. “I’ll join you on the next one.”

This 9 to 5 ain’t working

So why the hell do I work so hard

Y/N huffs with a small pout but nonetheless runs out to the dance floor. She hops in the front of the line, quickly picking up where everyone else is already at. Cody barely noticed that she had gone, he knew it was only a matter of time before she ended up on the dance floor. It’s her thing. But just because he wasn’t looking at her, doesn’t mean everyone else wasn’t.

A low whistle is heard from Austin Theory as Grayson Waller’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Damn…” Theory sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. “Look at her!” He claps loudly. “Go L/N, go!”

“Man, I didn’t even know Y/N had that in her,” Grayson adds.

Cody frowns, his grip on his beer tightening. He knows their comments don’t mean anything, but it annoys him sufficiently hearing anyone comment on his best friend. “Had what in her?” He asks with a small sigh.

“Dude,” Austin snorts, gesturing over to the front of the bar, “Just look.”

So, he did.

He turns, glancing back to where he was just looking. She had just gotten in line for the dance, but when his eyes find her again– fuck. He wasn’t at all prepared to see what he does when he sees her dancing form.

One, here comes the two to the three to the four

Tell 'em bring another out, we need plenty more

Two steppin' on the table, she don't need a dancefloor

Oh my, good Lord

People were lining up all around her. It’s not hard to see that she became the center of attention in a very short amount of time. Her movements are so fluid, like she’s secretly been a professional dancer this entire time rather than a wrestler. Her feet move perfectly in time with the beat, her hips matching the upbeat rhythm. It sends Cody’s mind spinning as he tries to keep up with her movements, but it’s almost impossible. All he sees is a blur of sparkling red and the clack of her heeled boots.

Every step she takes, every spin, every heel touch is deliberate. She knows the hold she has on the entire bar. Everyone is either watching her to pick up on the steps or simply just to stare. Her movements are completely effortless yet… dangerous.

Someone pour me up a double shot of whiskey

They know me and Jack Daniels got a history

There's a party downtown near Fifth Street

Everybody at the bar gettin' tipsy

Everybody at the bar gettin' tipsy

Everybody at the bar gettin' tipsy

She adds one extra step that clearly wasn’t originally in the choreography. She spins, dropping low to the ground which makes something catch in the American Nightmare’s throat. He clenches his beer even more than he was before. Because– holy shit.

He’d never seen her in this light before.

He always knew she was beautiful. Just because he’s her best friend doesn’t mean he’s blind. He’s aware of how easily she could turn heads. Her mere presence gains attention no matter where she goes. But this? This is something else. Something that made his stomach tighten in a way he wasn’t sure he wanted to acknowledge.

But his trance is quickly broken when he notices a guy slowly finding his way towards Y/N. Cody’s icy stare locks onto the approaching threat. The stranger clearly thinks he’s slick, that no one can see what he’s doing, but Cody did. He saw his intentions from clear across the bar. He tries to fit in with the large crowd, dancing his way towards the front unil he finally reaches his destination.

Y/N.

Cody stiffens as he watches he man lean forward, whispering something into Y/N’s ear. She laughs at whatever it was– not the kind of laugh she gives Cody whenever he tells her a joke, but a polite, dismissive one. One that should have communicated she didn’t want to have a conversation.

“I haven’t seen you around here before.”

Y/N fights the urge to roll her eyes. This is the exact reason why she wanted Bianca to come out onto the floor with her. It’s easier to get rid of over zealous guys when she has back up. She doesn’t usually like to cause confrontation, especially on the night’s where she gets to go out, but she’s not afraid of it. She just really didn’t want to engage or cause a scene if she she could avoid it. She doesn’t have to ruin his night, and he doesn’t have to ruin hers. Hopefully he knows how to take a hint.

“Yeah, I’m in town visiting for the weekend,” she replies in a clipped tone. “So, if you’ll excuse me.”

She tries to dance away from him, but he doesn’t back down. Y/N can already feel the upcoming conversation and she knows the stranger isn’t going to take her bruising his ego very lightly. She ried to make a graceful escape, but he clearly couldn’t take that for an answer.

“Visitng, huh?” He licks his bottom lip, his movements sloppy in comparison to hers. “What for?”

“Work.” Once again her answer is cut and dry, not revealing too much about herself, showing she has no interest in continuing the conversation.

“Well, what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you do for work?” He inches closer to her, his head dipping down closer to her neck. She can smell the cheap bourbon on his breath and it makes her eye twitch. She tries to take a blatant step forward to get out of the situation. At this point she just wants off the dance floor even though the song isn’t over yet. “Oh c’mon darlin’, where you goin’?” He moves to try and grab her waist. “I’m just tryin’ to get to know you.”

Y/N grabs his wrist, not tight enough to hurt him, but firm enough to get her message across. “Don’t touch me,” she says stiffly. “Find someone else to bother.”

If she wanted to, she could lay him out across the bar floor in a second. She’s taken down women who are bigger than him, but again, she doesn’t feel the need to cause a scene and get herself kicked out of the bar. Especially when it was her idea to go out. She doesn’t want to ruin her friends’ night over some guy who can’t keep his hands to himself.

“You really gonna be like that?” He deepens his voice to try and make himself sound more intimidating. He shrugs, “That’s all right. I don’t mind a little game of cat n’ mouse.”

Y/N sighs. It’s almost like he begins to move in slow motion. She can see his hands are now trying to skim far too low for comfort. She braces herself to get kicked out of the bar for breaking the guy's nose when suddenly a familiar arm coils itself around her waist, pulling her into his chest. In an instant her senses are flooded with the familiar addictive mix of woodsy cologne, clean aftershave, and a hint of warm leather.

Cody.

He lowers his head, his lips ghosting across her neck as he glares daggers into the man in front of them. He places chaste kisses along her skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. It’s a clear claim of what’s his. A silent warning.

The strange man looks startled by Cody’s appearance. Y/N has to admit that she’s a bit surprised herself. One minute he was lounging at the bar with the guys and the next he’s behind her, his hands griping her hips like a vice. Not that she could dwell on it for long as her mind is fogged by his intoxicating presence. She finds herself leaning into his touch, her head falling against his chest. Normally, she would be more considerate, not being so touchy with her best friend, but there’s something about the possessiveness in his stance that makes her forget he’s her best friend in the first place.

The man blinks, clearly thrown by the way Y/N immediately reacted to Cody, “Uh–”

“She’s not interested,” Cody said flatly. His voice was calm. Too calm.

He scoffs, probably feeling emasculated by the way Cody doubles his size just in muscle. “I don’t see her complainin’ about me being here.”

Cody’s grip on her tightens, “That’s because she doesn’t have to.”

The guy looks like he’s about to say something again, but he’s startled by Y/N suddenly letting out a breahy moan. That’s when he notices Cody full on nipping at Y/N’s neck, leaving marks over her soft skin. Y/N is so lost in the feeling of Cody Rhodes that she doesn’t even realize the guy had left. He had muttered something under his breath that neither of them caught before finally taking off.

Y/N giggles, “He’s gone…” she says teasingly. “You can stop that now.” Not that puts forth any effort to move away from him.

Cody barely looks up, keeping her flush against him, “Y’know… I think I’m good where I’m at,” he mumbles.

Y/N smiles, turning in his arms in order to face him. She loops her arms around his neck, amusement dancing in her eyes. “So, what? You just decided to mosey on over here and stake your claim?” She pokes fun at his show of possessiveness.

Cody smirks, enjoying the new view of her face, “Just figured you could use a better dance partner.”

Her eyes light up, “Oh?” She grins, her fingers lacing through his bright blonde locks. “And you think you’re up for that?”

Cody admires the way the light dances on her face for a moment before smiling softly, “Why don’t you teach me?”

The flirty tension disappears for a moment and all she feels is pure love for the man in front of her. Her face is overtaken with excitement as she grabs his hands and places them exactly where she wants them.

“You ever tried swing dancing before?” She asks him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

He raises an eyebrow, “No… But I’ve heard of it.”

“Well, saddle up cowboy,” she says in the worst southern accent he’s ever heard. “ ‘Cause I’m about to take your ass for a ride.”

“Country Girl (Shake It For Me)” blasts through the bar as Y/N begins the dance. Other people are participating in the designated line dance for the song which looks about just as complicated as what Y/N was trying to show him.

“Normally the guy leads, but since you’re a newbie, I’ll take the reins,” she says with a cocky smirk that makes Cody roll his eyes. “Just don’t fight me, okay? I’ll give you a little nudge every time I want you to move. Just follow my lead.”

Got a little boom in my big truck

Gonna open up the doors and turn it up

Gonna stomp my boots in the Georgia mud

Gonna watch you make me fall in love

Get up on the hood of my daddy's tractor

Up on the tool box, it don't matter

Down on the tailgate

Girl I can't wait

To watch you do your thing

Cody is slightly taken aback by how quick paced the dance moves. He watches in awe as Y/N leads him through the dance, but somehow makes it seem like it’s him doing all the work. She spins herself outwards before flinging herself back into him, hooking her leg around his to slide down. He squats down slightly with her, following along closely.

Y/N grins, “Look at you, cassanova,” she says teasingly. “You’re a natural.”

“I’ve got a good teacher,” he fires back, his tone gravelly and his eyes solely focused on her.

Shake it for the young bucks sittin' in the honky-tonks

For the rednecks rockin' 'til the break of dawn

The DJ spinnin' that country song

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon

Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees

Shake it for the catfish swimmin' down deep in the creek

For the crickets and the critters and the squirrels

Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl

Y/N lets out a small yelp as Cody spins her rapidly under his arm before dipping her in time with the beat drop. She raises her eyebrows as he pulls her back up, suddenly taking control from her as they keep dancing. She nods her head, “Not bad…” she teases. “But don’t get too cocky.”

Cody hums, his grip tightening just enough to send a shiver up her spine. Without warning, he practically threw her outwards before pulling her back in, having her jump in the air and into his arms. Her legs are tucked under his bicep as he uses the momentum to rock forward before launching her back out onto the floor. Y/N feels the breath leave her lungs, not knowing how he picked up on such an advanced move so fast. She exhales shakily as they continue to dance.

“Show off,” she breathes out, her chest rising and falling as she tries to steady herself.

He chuckles, his face mere inches from hers. “You walked right into that one.”

“I’m starting to think maybe you have done this before,” Y/N raises a suspicious brow.

“And why would I lie to you?” Cody asks her with a small smile.

“So I would be more impressed when you pulled something like that,” She titles her head, once again spinning under his arm.

Now dance, like a dandelion

In the wind on the hill underneath the pines

Yeah, move like the river flows

Feel the kick drum down deep in your toes

All I wanna do is get to holdin' you

And get to knowin' you

And get to showin' you

And get to lovin' you

'Fore the night is through

Baby, you know what to do

“Ever think maybe I’m just a fast learner?” He counters with his signature half-smile.

“Hmm,” Y/N looks him up and down, still not convinced in he sliightest. “You may pick certain things up quickly, Rhodes, but that foot work tells me you have some experience.” She nods towards his boot-clad feet that are moving far too smoothly for it to be his first time.

He sighs dramatically, his smile growing. “All right, all right…” his sparkling orbs meet hers. “You caught me.”

Y/N scoffs loudly as he dips her and swings her body up. She squeezes his hand as a way to scold him, “Why didn’t you just tell me you knew how to swing?”

Cody’s eyes soften as he looks at her. The way her eyes glimmer under the light of the bar. The way her posture is more relaxed than usual due to the small amounts of alcohol circulating through her system. She looks free, comfortable even. Seeing her here compared to at work, it’s nice. Watching her be able to let go.

“...Maybe I did just want to impress you,” he admits quietly.

Y/N’s heart flutters at the confession. She shoots him a dopey smile of her own, her hand moving before her brain can register. She cups the side of his face as they continue dancing to the beat of the next song that starts to play. “You always impress me, Rhodes…” she says tenderly. “You don’t even have to try. You’ve been impressing me since your ‘Dashing’ days.”

Cody laughs, his chest rumbling with the melody of his own voice. Y/N’s always loved the sound of his laugh. It’s more satisfying to hear than the music blasting through the speakers around them. “You mean that?”

“Of course,” Y/N laughs like it’s the most incredulous thing she’s ever been asked. “You’re always finding new ways to keep me on my toes.”

He leans into her touch, her hand never leaving his face. His fingers trace small circles onto the small amount of exposed skin between her top and shorts. He’s never felt more comfortable in his life. The way their bodies move perfectly in sync, the trail of chills he leaves whenever he moves his hands to a different location. The way his own heart rate speeds up when she lightly fiddles with the ends of his hair.

At this point, they both knew what they did to each other.

And it was about time they both stopped acting like it didn’t affect them.

This wouldn’t be the first time one of them got a little too possessive over the other. Y/N would never admit to it, but she’s interjected herself into many conversations Cody has had with other females who got a little too close for comfort. Cody did the same. He remembered a specific moment when Damian Priest tried his hand at flirting with her, and all Cody remembers was seeing red before he was suddenly pulling Y/N away with some fake emergency he came up with.

They both chalked it up to friendly behavior, using the excuse that no one was good enough for the other. And they did truly believe that, but not for unselfish reasons. It’s because they believed the only person meant for the other was each other.

“Y’know, you say that, but then you’re the one out here pulling out crazy dance moves that I didn’t even know you could do,” he whispers in her ear as she spins around. Her back is now flushly pressed against his chest. His breath hitches when she rolls her hips at just the right time with the perfect amount of pressure. “I mean… why did you never tell me you could move like this?”

Y/N leans her head to look back up at him, looping her hands around his neck. “You never asked.”

Cody leans down to whisper in her ear, his smile growing when she pushes herself impossibly closer to him. “You’ll have to show me what else you’re hiding when we get back to the hotel…”

“You askin’ for private dance lessons, Rhodes?” Y/N grins teasingly.

“Obviously,” Cody scoffs out even though both of them know that is nowhere near what he meant. “I might have some basic swing experience, but I’ve clearly got some catching up to do if I’m gonna be your new dance partner.”

“That’s a big commitment…” Y/N warns. Cody is now suddenly aware of how close her face is to his. Her lips are ghosting his, the smell of tequila and minty gum infiltrating his senses. “You sure you’re up for the challenge?”

“As long as you’re willing to keep me around,” he replies, somehow managing to inch closer to her, noses brushing against each other.

“I’ve managed to keep you on a leash for this long,” she smiles. “I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon...”

And with that, she closes the gap between them, her lips colliding with his. The kiss is tender and full of yearning. After years of unspoken tensions and pretending to be just friends, it has to be the most satisfying thing in the world to feel one another in this capacity. Y/N shifts, turning around to fully face him, lips only separating for a split second before she’s back on him.

The entire bar around them fades as Cody wraps his arms around her waist. He pulls her into him, embracing her in the way he’s always wanted to. Words couldn’t convey everything that this kiss does. They know exactly what the other is thinking, what they want to say, simply by the way their mouths move in sync.

Y/N smiles against his lips, her own giddiness getting the best of her. Cody pulls back slightly, pressing his forehead to hers, “What are you smiling like that for, huh?”

Y/N rolls her eyes and tries to push him away but he doesn’t let her move even a centimeter further. “Nuh uh,” he teases. “Who’s got you smiling like that?”

Y/N huffs, not wanting to give him the satisfaction just yet, “You already know why, asshole.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I wanna hear you say it,” he raises an expectant eyebrow. “So I’ll ask again…” he leans forward, “why are you smiling?”

She’s never been able to fight the influence his perfectly blue eyes have on her. Any time he flashed those icy irises in her direction, she knew she was a goner. Reluctantly, she sighs, “Because of you…”

His cocky smirk returns, “Yeah? Because of me?”

Y/N wants to wipe the smugness of his face, but she can’t help finding it endearing, “Yes. Because of you.”

“Well, shit…” he smiles goofily. “If I would’ve known I could make you smile like that I would’ve kissed you sooner.”

“Oh shut up,” she scoffs out a laugh before grabbing his collar and pulling him into once more, connecting her lips with his again.

Now this time both of them are smiling and anyone looking at them knows those dopey smiles aren’t fading anytime soon. The line of friendship that was once between them has been completely obliterated. There was no going back from this.

And it’s clear, neither of them wanted to.