#and unhinged is 100% something
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ansonmountdaily · 11 months ago
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Anson Mount as Vulcan!Pike
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds showrunners/executive producers Akiva Goldsman and Henry Alonso Myers, with cast members Rebecca Romijn and Ethan Peck, talk about Anson Mount's hair in the Season 3 preview clip released at San Diego Comic-Con International, July 27 2024.
Source: Variety interview clip, episode preview clip
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moeblob · 9 months ago
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I love them! So much!
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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Alright.
.
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bugwolfsstuff · 1 month ago
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We should all make Hades a lil bit unhinged about his kids
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gauntletgirlie · 8 months ago
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I am utterly miffed we never got a scene of Adar covered in mud and blood (especially whilst looking up) in Season 2, because hello???
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IT ELEVATES THE HOTNESS 1000-FOLD.
These particular beings aren't my usual type (though Gil-Galad is 100% growing on me 👀shhhhh) but damn if they don’t look super jump-able when all dirtied and wounded.
Bonus - the character that made me realise I was into muddied, bloodied men as a teen:
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nyxofdemons · 1 year ago
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literally had imaginary scenes from ghostfuckers appear in my summer heat-induced fever dreams earlier today like a prophet receiving visions from an unhinged god so i just sketched this as quick as i could . bear witness
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quincyhorst · 2 years ago
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Headcanon Potpurri, Red Matador: THE JOCKS + Fermin
A.k.a most normal Monster Energy consumers 🙄
I just realized, but by posting this, both of the main "HC series" on this blog so far (This one and Gareth's story) are just one post away to be finished. Pretty perfect coincidence, given WWC Spain vs England is tomorrow. Maybe the result will determine whose series ends first 👀
Anyways... I'll confess right away and say that these 4 consumed my brain the most out of the team; so they get the most HCs from me. Get ready. This will be fun.
First off, JOCK JUMPSCARE 😱
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Ignore Toni, he's actually chill
Ok, now onto the actual headcanons:
Querardo is from Navarre (Around Tudela), and so does Samuel (His dub profile confirms he's from Pamplona/Iruña). They actually met thanks to their respective fathers, both with a close bond. In fact, Samu's father was the assistant (named "mozo de espadas" in the bullfighting world) of Querardo's father for a while, at least until they parted ways and found their respective wives. Pretty much every July, in time for the San Fermín festival, the Naval and the Mayo reunite and celebrate together.
They might not share schools, but Querardo and Samuel have a very close friendship and they enjoy every meeting as best they can. They also played together for the Spanish Community Cup, in which they were the key players that led Navarre to the trophy.
Like mentioned before, Querardo's father is a famous matador from Seville, but his mother is just another worker at the farm her family owns. Having a cozy home inbetween the wilderness, she at least had a place to raise her son at. And yes, Querardo was pretty much raised alongside mother nature :')
Samuel's parents have pretty normal lives, and I guess their son too. However, upon some years ago, his father had an almost fatal injury that left him incapacitated, only being able to move in a wheelchair. Said injury's origin is attributed to a running of the bulls, a simple incident. Or so it seems.
Meanwhile, as for Davi... His fathers are huge fans of soccer like him, but messier. His father is a Barcelona Orb fan, his mother a Gran Madrid fan. They act surprisingly peaceful when a VS happens, BUT their discussions get heated whenever they talk about what team will their son join in the future. They are perhaps TOO supportive for his own good.
...Truth is, Davi just wants to keep his options open, man. Hell, he isn't even of a particular team. He likes all teams, and all he wants is to support local talent no matter the colors. As long as it is from ESPAÑITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
...Yeah, Davi is very passionate about spanish soccer as a whole. VERY. And inspired by his japanese profile, he is very openly competitive with the other countries. I don't think he's either a good winner or loser unfortunately
He's from Madrid, so his bond isn't as deep as Samuel + Querardo's at first glance. However even before the FFI started, Davi bonded well with the field forward and so with the captain, to the point he was quickly integrated into the group when Redomata was formed.
Alternatively it would be cute if he met them from before BUUUUUT. Not sure yet.
However like on previous potpurri, him belonging there doesn't stop him with intereacting with others; in fact he's quite more sociable than the other SS Trio members (That's saying a lot).
Davi gets the best with the midfielders, mainly because of Joan and his easy-going atitude. Pedro and Igor are quite stupid at times but the forward doesn't like being rude with them, given they remind him of his little sister. And Mikel, uh...
Yeah, it's time to talk about something I owed here. Unfortunately as the FFI progresses, Davi starts to notice that despite being a main field player, unfortunately his skill level wasn't the best, or at least nor the required one for the exigences of RM's rivals. With each match, Davi started to be more and more exigent with himself, wishing to be at other's levels. But the fact that barely anything came from this left him pretty resentful. And for a while, that resentment manifested in envy on those who were better than him. Mikel being one of those, unfortunately. So, he became pretty competitive with his teammates as well, but to such an extent it was getting quite frustrating for them too. And yes, this also added to the SS rivarly with Los Bellos. Oops.
...At least Brockenborg was the perfect slap in the face for him, making him accept his imperfections and seek a better future instead.
Being fair the whole trio went throught the most during the whole tournament, and with a reason (?)
And now, about the final member... Fermín is Querardo's cousin, the keeper's father being the younger brother of Victória Gartzia. When their child was born, he insisted to do all the required paperwork to make Fer carry his mother's surname first. And with a reason, she's literally a worldwide karate star.
Unfortunately, the relationship between cousins isn't the best, since since childhood Querardo would always pick on Fer by his huge appearance, and things got slightly worse by him choosing to style himself after a bull. Yeah, the matador jokes are endless when these two are together.
Fer has tried all he could to ignore that, but there's some truth hidden to it: Unlike a huge chunk of his family, he's actually VERY uncomfortable with bullfighting. But he feels often nervous of speaking out in front of his fanatic father, his equally as passionate uncle, AND his matador-on-training cousin. Yes, he is taller and even looks as old as any of the adults, but at the end of the day Fermín is still a 15 year old teen. And a pretty misunderstood one.
This is why when the FFI happened, Fer's spot on Querardo's circle was replaced by Davi soon enough. With him joining on the middle of the FFI he's often pursued by this group, but he'd rather keep his distance for now. Then again, out of the three he only has a good relationship with Samuel. They respect -and understand- each other.
Fer is still unsure how to feel about his other teammates, but he's glad the defenders seem to care about him. Rafael in particular wants him to join in their group the same way he does with Juan. Plus... They are technically the only RM players who do interact outside of a hissatsu, y'know...
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His most peculiar relationship is with... Laudelino however, since for some reason he calls him his "Sancho Panza" and wants to bring him to his adventures. Fer does NOT share his way of thinking at all, so its messy.
Overall, maybe Liocott is the perfect spot for both cousins to talk out things better... Maybe. If they don't try to kill each other during the tournament, first of all (?
If you came to the end, thank you, here's a meme for you <3
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jamiebluewind · 2 years ago
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Oh no, I'm old
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windyengel · 25 days ago
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DC X DP Prompt I might write
Tim: Is it weird if I want to date the ghost who raised me when I was a toddler?
Dick: Tim, what—
Tim: Because technically, he was seventeen when he babysat me, and he hasn’t aged since dying. So really, it’s like I’m dating a preserved vintage babysitter.
Dick: That’s... somehow worse.
Tim: I’m just saying, it worked in Twilight.
Dick: What part of this is like Twilight?!
Tim: Edward was 100-something and still dated a high schooler.
Dick: Edward was also a stalker with boundary issues!
Tim: And a vegetarian! So where’s the justice for my hot ghost man?
Dick: This feels less like a romantic dilemma and more like a supernatural HR violation.
Tim: Why is it fine for vampires but ghosts cross a line? Sounds a little speciest.
Dick: Sounds like you need therapy.
Tim: Already in it. Dr. Quinzel says I repress emotions. So I’m trying something new: unfiltered ghost thirst.
Dick: You’re unhinged.
Tim: I’m in love. And possibly haunted. But mostly in love.
Dick: Do not put that in your vows.
Tim: Too late. I've already titled our wedding playlist: Dead Tired: A Love Story.
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cynicalmusings · 1 month ago
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i’ve been thinking about this ask again, actually, and here are a couple more thoughts to add:
i’m not sure whether i would do this or not, but it would definitely be interesting (+ more heartbreaking) if the reader has experienced a similar betrayal of trust before from a close friend in the past (maybe before coming to the grove?), but after which they still refused to let go of their willing, trusting nature, because they’re not going to sacrifice the opportunity to engage with other people simply because of the chance that some of those people are cruel. however, this event did affect them deeply, and it was more like a conscious, deliberate effort to keep being so open rather than an easy bounce-back… and then it happens again. ouch.
i actually really like what this plot development would do for anaxa and reader’s relationship — because as much as i love them right now, they do feel a bit stagnant, as in neither of them are pushed to develop what they have, and the result is stasis: they’re just so accustomed to things being the way they are—bumping into each other in the grove, chatting over lunch, sharing insights and quips—that they’ve both taken what they have for granted. anaxa has done this more than the reader, however — this is because the reader is generally more aware that something might happen to him, due to his recklessness and willingness to sacrifice himself for his research (experimenting on himself), whereas the reader isn’t a person who ever really puts themselves in the way of physical harm, so anaxa has never really had to consider that he might lose them before they lose him until it actually happens.
i definitely think there’s an interesting selfish element to what anaxa is taking for granted, too; he has a kind of assumption which is ‘i don’t have to worry about losing them, because i’d make sure something happens to me first’. in some ways, his alchemical recklessness is a safety measure to protect himself from emotional harm by putting himself in jeopardy before it can happen to them. he’d rather not have to bear the potential pain of losing them, so what does he do instead? instead of working through his emotions, why, make sure they’re the one who loses him first, of course! — and then this comfortable protection gets totally upended when something does happen, and it happens to the reader, not to him. as a result, he’s finally forced to confront the reality of his feelings for them in their absence, and when he does, the depth of those feelings completely catches him off-guard. and it’s this proper recognition of what they mean to him which at last spurs their previous comfortable-but-low-stakes-and-low-investment relationship into something that, if it is to continue, must become more serious and genuinely meaningful.
(like i said, the reader also has to do some of this emotional work and reflection; but i do think it generally comes easier to them. one, because they’re on the whole very honest with themselves about their emotions, and two, like i mentioned before, they’ve been taking anaxa somewhat less for granted because it’s hard not to be aware of the fact that they may lose him one day when he’s literally sticking tubes in himself and happily cutting off body parts.)
Thank you for responding so quickly! So, what if Socrates!reader got so speechless was because someone brought up something deeply unsettling/even traumatic as a way to gain the upperhand in a debate, I imagine anaxa would react pretty badly lol
i spent an incredibly long time thinking about this ask… and the answer is pretty darn long, too. for those interested, below is first an explanation of my thought process about how to get the reader speechless and traumatised, and then how i think it might actually happen:
My thought process: 
My first thought to answering this question was, how do you go about hurting somebody? Initially, what came to mind was by getting at something they’re trying to hide — generally speaking, the more you hide, the more you’re vulnerable when it’s exposed (think of, like, Blanche from Streetcar, if you’ve read/ seen the play)
Now, this approach was hard because reader doesn’t really attempt to hide things; they’re very open about their thoughts, experiences, etc, so any ‘exposure’ of some potentially harmful thing they’re trying to hide won’t work because they’ll most likely have been upfront about it from the get go, or at least not afraid to admit to it when the information came out
The reader is also very unruffled as an individual — you can try to get at them with insults or even bringing up a painful memory, but it’s like water sliding off a duck (yes, that is a reference). What I mean is that they’re also very good at bounding back/ moving past emotionally taxing events, so going back and pointing out any potentially traumatic memory won’t do much; again, even if they are still affected by the event (I’m definitely not saying here that they’re impervious to painful events; that’s definitely not the case), they’ve made at least enough peace with it for it not to bother them too much
So, when that approach failed, I thought — another way to get at it is to get at something they care about
After a while, I came to the conclusion that they value authenticity very deeply (possibly without realising it, because it comes so naturally to them that they mistakenly tend to assume it applies to others as well) both within intellectual discourse but also within people; authenticity above all else 
If you’re an awful person but open about it, they’ll still treat you with courtesy when speaking with you; they’d much prefer that honesty to somebody who isn’t as bad, but pretends to be much nicer than they are while being a snake once their back is turned 
Whereas arguments are very clear — their conclusions, reasoning, motives can’t lie or be deceptive in the same way a person can, even if the argument can be fallacious or flawed 
Unfortunately for the reader, they’re brilliant when it comes to logic and argumentation, but not so much when it comes to the real actions and motivations of real people, which are not always so clear-cut and can’t be taken away in the same way an argument is; they’d never really suspect, for example, that they’re being deceived or manipulated in a conversation 
THIS aspect of them — their well-intentioned, willing nature to engage with other people and their assumption that people will be as open as they are when talking — is where they're most vulnerable. So this is where we attack :D
ALSO. Because they deeply care about their pursuit of knowledge and the sharing of learning with others, I do think they’d be deeply affected if somebody was hurt/ endangered/ something bad happened to them because of something they said; e.g. imagine a group of bright-eyed young students who really look up to them and love talking with them getting killed in the black tide or some other situation because they went off to pursue some hypothesis the reader suggested may be true;
Reader still has the clarity of mind to appreciate that it’s not their complete fault — they couldn’t have known this would happen — but they would still take the responsibility very seriously on themselves for leading these innocent, curious people astray 
ALSO. If something of this sort did happen, it would be very good grounds to use for those who want reader gone (be that imprisoned or put to death) 
So. Now that we’ve got all that sorted, here’s how you actually go about traumatising them. 
(This next scenario might require a bit of suspension of disbelief, but I think it’d be a very effective way of leaving them speechless and traumatised:)
Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you have a small group within the Grove who hate — HATE, loathe with every essence of their being — the reader. Like, they’re vindictive, and hateful, and horrible, no morals, and want little more than to see reader’s life crash and burn, and so they go about instrumenting a plan to do just this 
They’d approach the reader with faux friendliness and eagerness to converse with them (essentially taking advantage of their relative inability to suspect anything is off) — and the reader, ever willing to talk to anybody who’s interested (in fact, particularly willing in this instance, because usually it’s them initiating the discussion; so if somebody ELSE starts the discussion? They’ll be super pleased), will gladly entertain them 
Over time — depending on how horrible these haters are, a few weeks, months, maybe even years (although that feels like a stretch) — the reader begins to form what they believe is a genuine, deep connection with these people, who have a similar eagerness to learn and uncover knowledge as they do, and they start trusting them as close friends (little do they know, it’s all pretence)
Then, finally, the haters decide to make their move and expose the game, probably publicly, to take them down — e.g., one day their steer the conversation in such a way that they almost… trap the reader, somehow? Like, they can’t get out of it (not sure exactly how they’d manage or the specifics of the conversation/ trap, but let’s assume they succeed); and then reveal that they never cared for the discussions or any of it 
And while reader is reeling from the betrayal, bring up the fact that that earlier group of students wound up dead/ whatever because of them (this info was probably kept relatively private at the time as not to cause panic among the students, and if it’s linked to the black tide, no doubt it was worrying and required further investigation and care beyond just what happened to the students — although these haters would leave out those details), using this and their general (mis)conduct as reason to get them at least thrown out and locked up, if not sentenced to drinking hemlock 
Reader, although shocked and hurt, wouldn’t defend themselves against these charges; there’s no doubt they could — they certainly have the ability to, and probably sufficient evidence too — but they take their responsibilities seriously, particularly when it comes to the ideas they share with others 
So, even though they know it’s not entirely their fault what happened, they’d accept the sentence and whatever people decide to do with them without struggling or kicking up a fuss: if this is the way it must be, they’ll go quietly, without potentially drawing anybody else into harm’s way.
And Anaxa… he would be FURIOUS. Actually fuming. I don’t think anyone would have ever seen him as uncollected and genuinely angry as that before, and probably ever again. There’d be rumours and gossip still spreading about what it was like two decades later. In any case, his conduct would be… very uncharacteristic for him, for a few reasons:
(1) The fact that this happened right under his nose by students audacious enough to pull it off, and he didn’t catch on or prevent it (even better/ worse if they’re HIS students) 
(2) The fact of the matter itself; that an injustice (personal, legal and intellectual all at once) has been done to somebody undeserving of it (no doubt the reader would press him on what precisely he meant by that, but unfortunately, they’re not here to raise the point…)
(3) Finally, the fact that it happened to the reader makes all of the above even worse, because now it’s personal. I actually think this would be a kind of wake-up moment where Anaxa realises just how much they mean to him/ how much he actually cares about them in their absence 
In the moment as it all unfolded, he wouldn’t have enough evidence to get them out of it, although he’d certainly try his best to make a case for their innocence; because let’s be honest here, is this unequal system (whatever system it is… I’m imagining some democratic voting thing similar to what they have in Okhema but related specifically to affairs of the Grove, with some connections to Okhema for bigger problems — e.g. giving them a death sentence) really going to take the objection of Anaxa, who although being a professor, is known as a blasphemer and has public opinion stacked against him? 
(I also think that, while making his case, he’d still be relatively level-headed, although increasingly less so and you could definitely tell there was something boiling up under the surface; after the crowds and the reader were gone, that’s when he’d go a bit crazy.)
He’d spend the next few days furiously putting together a case for your immediate release and compensation; and in the case that didn’t work, he’d start plotting an alternative plan to get you out of your situation — whether that be bribery, a prison breakage with the help of some of your other supporters, or something else, he’d stop at near nothing until you were back safely and unharmed (and preferably by his side, too). We know Anaxa is the type to go the full length when he’s dedicated to something — he’s sacrificed his body time and time again in his pursuit for truth — and he’d sure as hell sacrifice some more to make sure you get out of this. 
(Realised that I started using ‘you’ as opposed to ‘they’ to refer to the reader near the end… oop.) 
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muntitled · 1 year ago
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Poor thing ♡
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Jake Sim x Fem!Reader
Summary: sleepy gf ♡ horny bf
♡ Warnings: Language, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Smut +18 (Minors DNI) dumbification dollification, Slight ddlg, Brief Daddy Kink, Somnophilia, which means dub/con, Breeding Kink, Domestic Kink, Corruption Kink, Unedited, Mentions of Bondage
This might be tmi but I got turned on writing this and that's probably because I didn't realise how much I love this man. It's so bad girl, pray for me
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You'd spoken about kink since the peroration of your relationship. It had been something you'd both decided was very important.
Although Jake admits he only thought kink was a few whips and rope, you assured him it was indeed a whole other world.
“What about somno?,” you'd asked him, while you both sat lazily on the comfort of your living room floor, soaking in the idle 808 beats of some Metro Boomin track while you both had a notebook out in front of you.
Although Jake craved for nothing more than to close the large distance between the two of you while you jotted down your sexual boundaries, even if it was just a hand placed on your thigh, he stopped himself.
He knew that distance was necessary when discussing sexual do’s and don'ts.
There couldn't be any sort of touching involved while you both fleshed out and divulged what would and would not be allowed within the sexual confines of your relationship.
All this talk about sex, however, had regressed his adult brain back into adolescence and he nursed an annoying boner the more you spoke.
“What's that?” He asked with his head tilted unconsciously. All you could do was chuckle softly as you eyed your boyfriend sitting on the floor adjacent to you. Your legs were splayed out and running parallel to his but still evaded the possibility of touch. You did not only find it adorable to witness just how much your boyfriend was trying to behave for you, you also found it so incredibly attractive.
“C'mon,” you had said as you shyly spun your finger on the rim of your glass containing a mild coke zero (no intoxication when discussing boundaries. Another infuriating rule, Jake found). “I do not have to explain to you what somno is,”
Jake only shrugged as he eyed you from across the small room. His back leaning against the couch was tense as he said, “afraid you do, babe,”
It was the way he was looking at you, with his eyes carelessly conveying just how turned on he'd managed to get during this short time of abstinence.
Your eyes never leave him when you talk. Hoping to convey your own need as you said “You can google it, Jake.”
“I can,” he nodded almost immediately, “Course I can, but I don't want to.”
What he didn't say is that he much rather preferred it when you used your words to divulge your knowledge on every filthy little detail about a particular kink. It turned him on to know what slept inside your mind and it made him uncharacteristically unhinged with lust when such dirty words left an unusually dignified mouth.
Corruption Kink. You had given him that diagnosis sometime throughout the evening.
“Jake,” you shake your head again, feeling the heat seep into the worn fabric of Jake's old Tupac shirt. It was probably unwise to be dressed in nothing but his oversized graphic tee and you're only made aware of this dire mistake right now. “You know.”
“No, actually, I don't.” He breaches the rules. Fuck the rules. And he lets his hand reach to tentatively rub at your cute little toe before returning his hand to his notebook.
“Tell me what somno is-”
“Sleep play.” You eventually shoved the words out of your mouth like unwanted visitors.
The second they registered in Jake's head he was sitting just a little straighter.
“Jesus…” Is all he said as he downed the rest of the 100% orange juice which he had really wished was 60% straight fucking vodka.
“Y-Yeah, but we don't really have to go into this one. I could just write it down in the ‘not interested’ list and we can just move on-” at the sight of you bending your head to furiously scribble inside the notebook containing the safety guidelines of your sex life, Jake reached out once again until his hand was perfectly encapsulating your entire foot.
“Nah, hold on.” He said, with a hint of a smile and nothing but sheer intrigue swimming in his eyes, “don't get rid of it yet.” He said. “Let's talk about it.” The devil shrugged. “Give it a fair chance.”
And although the evening had ended with Jake ravishing you on the living room floor -you were folded in half as he ate you out with the fervour of a starved man- Jake Sim did not incorporate any of the kink you two had just spoken about into the act.
In fact, all of your sexual escapades have been fairly vanilla with added hints of praise and degradation here and there before this very night.
Let it be clear that Jake Sim did not expect sex on this particular Thursday evening.
He had been having a particularly cursed day with nothing at all going right for him except the prospect of seeing you after dance practice. The possibility of you cradling him against the plushness of your breasts while you sang to him with your fingers running through his hair kept him afloat until he let himself into your apartment by the end of the day.
“Yo? ‘anyone home?”
Instead of finding you tapping away at your laptop or consuming a starkly provocative HBO original, Jake found you asleep, in your room. Fairy lights on while the sound of crashing waves bled through your phone speaker.
Before he got horny, let the record reflect that Jake was perfectly content with climbing into bed with you and dozing off himself. But he couldn't help how his body responded to the softness of your curves pressing into his side the moment he lowered himself onto your bed and into your warm pink quilts. He should be closing his eyes, dozing off alongside you but the longer he stares at the miniscule details of your face, the more his stomach tightens and warms.
Perhaps, venturing into more sinister territory, Jake's eyes skate down to your slightly open mouth and then- down to your frame nestled under his armpit, where you lay in a foetal position with your stuffed animal held in an almost primal grip.
It is then that the first beginning of guilt seeps into his lower stomach, feeling that he doesn't really wish to dissect, especially given your very persuasive reassurances that “kink should never feel icky if it's consensual.”
And you gave him your consent.
Jake still remembers your slightly laboured breathing when you admitted to being turned on by the idea of somnophilia.
The smile on Jake's face as he bends down to nestle his face in your headwrap is placid, like calm still waters on a Sunday afternoon. Doing a very good job at hiding the tempest within.
You stir in your sleep and Jake swallows thickly. With his lips still pressed against your head, he stares into space with a vague look of worry and discontent. He knows, logically, that he should not feel bad for what he's about to do. It was only human, after all, to feel sexual desire for your partner. What did not feel normal, however, is how he managed to grow impossibly hard in his sweatpants, and all you've done was sleep, you poor thing.
This time when you shift again, it's to hike your leg up further along his torso, and unbeknownst to you, a broken moan seeps out of Jake's mouth because your leg is now brushing right up against his tense and hardened cock. Jake attempts to regulate his breathing through his nose (in and out, in and out) but his brain loses sight of how unethical this all is under the realisation of just how warm you are underneath him. The arm he had wrapped around your frame flexes as he brings his hand up to the curve of your voluptuous hips. It's then when he thinks about them… you having his kids, and suddenly, he's manoeuvring you even closer into his arms.
“Jakey? Baby, you home?”
Home.
It felt so domestic and it didn't help the heat seeping out of Jake's tense body.
Your groans perpetuate through the confines of the bedroom. You're slowly waking from one of those ghastly kinds of naps. The kind of nap that existed outside space and time and everything else in the known universe. The kind of nap that had you groggily opening your eyes crowded with crust as you try to make sense of your surroundings.
His voice is raspy as he whispers back, “I’m home, Bunny,” Everything in the universe begins to right itself when Jake presses a warm, slightly sloppy kiss to the top of your head and you can feel yourself coming to grips with your surroundings. A warm sigh leaves your mouth and you melt into the sensuality of Jake's second kiss which he displays across the side of your face, moving lower and lower and hiking up your leg still splayed over his lap.
Jake's eyes are closed, brows furrowed and his kiss is lingering. His lips never stray from your skin and you can feel your limp, half asleep body being pressed in further against his warmth. You're suddenly becoming all too aware of your core pressed against Jake's hips at this angle; you and your boyfriend's limbs are practically intertwined.
His warmth is all encompassing.
“Ja-What…” a sleepy little yawn squeaks out of your throat and you unconsciously bring a limp hand up to wipe away all the sleep.
Jake watches you with grave, grave admiration. The kind of feeling that squeezes at his heart and, perhaps more shamefully, his cock. “What time is it?”
“Not important, Bunny,” he kisses you again. Heaven's he was brimming with kisses for you. They felt like a lullaby, coaxing you back to bed. “Just go back to bed,”
Those particular words have you blinking up at your boyfriend who begins to come into focus under the hazy orange glow of the fairy lights. Your body stretches ever so slightly as you crane your head up to meet his half lidded eyes.
“What time is it-” you begin to answer again, but Jake stops you once again.
“You don't need to worry your pretty brain about stuff like that,” he nudges his chin towards you as if beckoning to play along with this scene he's orchestrated for the two of you. Despite feeling your heart strings tugging at the idea of playing along, you're still very much plagued by rationality.
“Jake- Baby, you have practice tomorrow. I don't think you can sleep over-”
“But pretty girls don't think,” he nestles his head into the crook of your shoulders and he squeezes. Once again, begging you to play along, “You never have to think when you have me.”
You could feel the better part of you being dragged into the safe, plush wonderland of your subspace, just from his words alone. When Jake doesn't get a response he pulls back to make eye contact with you once more, Sickeningly satisfied to see the fog beginning to fill your pupils.
“But, Jakey-” he has you. He knows he has you.
“You still sound so sleepy, Baby,” he whispers, and you're quite shocked to find yourself being lifted off the bed, “You want Jakey to help take the sleepiness away, don't you?”
Another kink you two had discussed ad nauseum but had failed to ever orchestrate in real time. It happened flawlessly between you both. A torrid yet natural dance. Ddlg, you called it.
Jake is still lying supine on the bed as he manoeuvres you to straddle his legs. Your hands anchor yourself by the rough skin of his torso through his pitch black shirt while his hands find home on your thigh, “I need you to help me out and then you won't be sleepy anymore, yeah?” The smile he gives you is enough to get any person to bend to his every will and so you find yourself nodding dumbly, with your eyes still half lidded, and a part of your brain experiencing a sleeplike calmness. “Jakey needs you to be good for him, okay?” You swallow thickly and yelp when Jake lifts his hips, subsequently lifting you as if you weighed nothing at all. His eyes are pained when he uncovers his hard, leaking dick from his sweatpants. You're not sure if it's the sleepiness still raining heavily on you but you're suddenly plagued by the need to enclose his cock in your hand.
So that's what you do
With your limbs operating on autopilot, your hand falls lazily over his cock while you tiredly rub your left eye with your other hand.
“F-Fuck, Bunny- What're you doing?” Jake looks up at you with wild, pained eyes and you peer down at him with a tilted head. Ever so clueless. Ever so beautiful, “I wanna help,” You whisper and his cock immediately twitches in your hand, “I wanna help,” You mumble as you lower your front against his, nuzzling into his neck while you sleepily begin to pump his cock.
Your chin hangs over his shoulder as your eyes flutter shut, all the while, Jake bites his bottom lip until he's on the verge of breaking skin.
“You're trying to off me, you know that?” Jake whispers into your ear as the warmth of your palm struggles to keep him thinking rationally. Unable to stop himself from lifting his hips slightly to grind against your hand, Jake hopes for more friction, more fucking pressure, but it never comes. Not when you've basically passed out on top of him.
“F-Fuck me,” Jake whispers as he lift his hands to lightlyoaw at your hips. “You're making me fucking insane, you know that?” Jake's voice is coated with singsong need as he shuffles you lower on his torso until your hips meet his. “You said this is okay, didn't you baby?” The only answer he gets in return is a few lightly snores as he lifts you up, having you hover djrectly over his aching cock, twitching to be inside you.
For a while Jake is perfectly content with humping lazily against your pyjama pants as you shuffle intermittently.
His hands rub over your back, feeling your chest pressed against his before drifting his hand down to the curve of your ass and the thin pyjama shorts hugging your hips.
He immediately decides he can't do it.
“Daddy needs to be inside you, Bunny.” Your breasts push against him as he reaches down to swipe your pyjama pants and your oantjes to the side, “Your hands and mouth…They just won't do, baby. I need to fuck you, d'you understand?” he asks with so much concern and so much consideration it would have your heart clenching in its cage if you were conscious.
Jake's breath is caught in his throat as the head of his cock prods at your tight opening. As he tries to guide his cock in, you shift a little over him, causing him to pat lovingly at your back, coaxing you to sleep as he forced his cock into your cunt. Instead of swallowing him like you usually did, your cunt is vehemently trying to push out the intrusion, which only succeeds in turning him on more.
Jake buries his head into the crook of your neck, sniffing in your scent as he pushes himself in despite the tight fit.
“You're gonna make me cum so quick, Princess,” he whispers into your hair.
You barely made it 10 pumps before your shuffling above him with your cunt was split into two.
He wanted to use you, he needed to make you his dumb, unresponsive toy and Jake shivers as a bead of precum streams down the side of his cock.
“You're doing so good for me,” his hips lift as his hand on your ass presses down, forcing you to meet his steadily growing thrusts“You don't wanna disappoint me, do you?” he asks your cute, sleeping form. As if in response to his words, your body subconsciously reacts and your cunt tightens around his cock, immediately sending Jake into a bitter delirium.
Soon, his head is thrown back into the pillows and both his hands are firmly on your ass as he begins to fuck up into you with less care. “F-Fuck Princess, I think I could cum like this,”
You're shuffling again. Threatening to wake up. It only has Jake fucking you harder, bringing him closer to the edge.
“F-Fuck-this fucking pussy-” You were being split in two. You on top of him somehow felt like he was going deeper than how he usually went. “Oh God, you're so warm, Bunny,” He exclaims, looking up at the ceiling with his own pained expression, completely and utterly trapped in his dom space as he begins to move you up and down on his cock.
Your limp body followed, unable to conjure up the strength of your own movements. He had all the control over all your movements, kinda like-
“Y-You're my toy, aren't you, Bunny?” Jake is so completely fargone as he watches your ass bounce with each of his rabid thrusts, completely uncaring over whether you're awake or not. “Fuck, you’re my fucking toy,” Jake's a blubbering mess and it only makes you wetter as you slowly blink open your eyes, in the very middle of one of your most prized fantasy’s. Your cunt squeezes around his cock. Your heart hammering in your chest. Your orgasm crests along with his.
You had never thought you'd ever know what a sleepy orgasm would feel like but somehow you knew it would ram through you with way too much intensity.
“You like me deep inside, yeah? You like being split open while you sleep, Bunny? Hm? You're so fucking perfect you know that? So fucking pretty- J need you to have my babies, yeah?” The more he talks, the more it's difficult to pretend to stay asleep. A groggy and tired moan slips out of your mouth while your arousal slips out of your leaking cunt. “You'd like that, wouldn't you? Us having babies.”
Jake's hips stutter against yours. His jaw is locked tight as you clench around him, “F-Fuck you would like that-” It is then that you're starkly aware of the hidden narcissism that this kink bred. Here he was, using you to get off with only himself as the audience. Jake was guiding himself to orgasm with his own dirty words as if he were God and somehow that thought succeeds in bringing you to orgasm.
“Oh God, Jake-”
“You need me to get you pregnant, don't you?” Your head nods almost unconsciously, without the permission of your rational brain and Jake speeds up his fucking into you, as orchestrating a new form of movement. He was always leading you, even when it came to his pleasure.
“Just like that, Bunny,” he always praised you without a second thought…
Jake is working himself to orgasm with short, shallow breaths. His hips lift to thrust into your dripping cunt and in his mind he's about to come to the fact that you really are his toy.
“Fuck, you're gonna make me cum,” he whispers into the side of your head, “Your leaky fucking pussy's going to make me cum, Bunny-”
His orgasm triggers another one of your own and both your legs spasm, locking around him as Jake releases his cum deep inside you. His hand clenched down on your hips, forcing you to take in every single drop until it's forcing itself out of your dripping cunt, trailing down your thigh. After riding the high of his orgasm, Jake looks bright eyed again, like he's gotten rid of something very dark and very oppressive until the sunny Jake Sim was back.
“So good,” he smiles down at you, “You always do so well for me”
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mcyt-builds-contest · 10 months ago
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Pandora"s Vault:
Contained : Dream, Tommyinnit, Ranboo, Technoblade, Connoreatpants
Series : DSMP
Propaganda : its so big. Its so so big. Look at a map of the dsmp. Its just a black void bigger than l'manburg was. You look at it and you just know it's something terrible. the obsidian walls, lava, the iron. It's just there. In the middle of the ocean. It does not fit in and its scary. the AMOUNT of redstone and functions it go is AMAZING. the only way to enter is through a portal that then leads u to the nether and has to be manually activated again by the warden. So to enter you literally NEED the wardens permission. All the bridges and all the door. It's so fucking cool man what can I say. The amount of security. the lore that happened inside pandora as well. Pandoras arc was the best arc of the whole of dream smp and I stand by that. There is so so much to unpack. Sam and Dream could have just built some shitty obsidian box and called it a prison, but no they made PANDORAS VAULT
The Ghost's Vault:
Contained : VikingPilot's Prized possesions
Series : Dominion SMP
Propaganda : Perhaps the only self-titled Vault to actually be one, the Ghost's Vault, built by VikingPilot, is two things -- a consolidation of wealth, and a display of power. Built at a time on Dominion where every single diamond had to be handed over to the Queen every two weeks, the Vault is made in total opposition to that policy as an extremely intimidating secret stash. All 10 sets of Netherite armor are enchanted and labeled. It's built with soulfire lanterns under the center carpet runner for the sole purpose of unnerving the local piglin. He's taken people here twice onscreen, and both times it was to cash in a no-conditions-set IOU with that other person in order to make sure things work out exactly the way they need to. It also contains two very important books! Viking's "To Do" list is very simple -- Run Dominion. However, the other one -- the Book -- is quite possibly the single most dangerous thing in Viking's possession. He's not sure what's in it, other than that it contains rituals of unimaginable power and that if he opens it again, he will crack in half. Oh, and the Ghost's Vault is also the location for the world's most unhinged 12-minute 100% improv monologue to ever exist.
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itoshiierae · 1 month ago
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tokyo rev boys as cliché relationship tropes 𝜗𝜚
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
ᡣ𐭩 ft: manjiro sano (mikey), ken ryuguji (draken), sanzu haruchiyo, chifuyu matsuno, baji keisuke
ᡣ𐭩 notes: did this for the bllk boys so i obviously had to do it for the TR boys too 🤪💕 ahhh mikey makes me soft in ways that feel illegal. draken makes me want to cook for him and feel safe in his arms. chifuyu is literally already your boyfriend, just kiss him already. sanzu is an unhinged menace and i am fully in love. and baji???? ohhh he would fight your ex and hold your hand at 3am while pretending he’s not blushing 😩
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!
✧ MANJIRO SANO ✧ — “THE GOLDEN BOY WHO ACCIDENTALLY FALLS FOR YOU”
he’s the one everyone expects to be untouchable — he’s the golden boy, after all. but then there’s you, and something in him softens. he doesn’t confess. he just starts showing up. he’ll wait for you outside school on his CB250T, saves the extra dorayaki just for you, sits beside you during sunsets in quiet, comfortable silence. everyone’s shocked — “mikey? with someone???” he falls first, wayyyy harder than he admits. he’ll not say “i love you” (at least not yet) but he’ll mutter “don’t leave me” like it’s second nature.
✧ KEN RYUGUJI ✧ — “THE GRUMPY PROTECTOR WHO’S SOFT ONLY FOR YOU”
he’s tall, scary & unbothered — well that’s what everyone thinks… until he’s patching up your scraped knee and asks “you okay?”. acts like he doesn’t care but he’s literally the first to notice when you’re not feeling well. he’s the type to lift you with one arm and then goes “tch. don’t get used to it.” absolutely ruins anyone who tries to hurt you emotionally or physically & will probably never say “i love you” directly, but will say “you’re mine,” like it’s a fact carved into stone.
✧ SANZU HARUCHIYO ✧ — “THE UNHINGED LOVERBOY WHO WOULD BURN THE WORLD FOR YOU”
oh you already know that he’s wayyyy more unhinged than the rest. everyone tells you to stay away from him. he’s dangerous, violent & unpredictable. and he is — to everyone except you. when you’re around, he’s still chaotic but there’s a slight restraint. gets jealous at the thought of you smiling at someone else. “you’re the only thing keeping me from going completely off the rails.” he’s 100% the type who would say “i love you” in the middle of a murder confession. “i did it for you, baby. always for you.”
✧ CHIFUYU MATSUNO ✧ — “THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BESTFRIEND TURNED LOVER”
your best friend who’s been in love with you for YEARS. he knows your coffee order, remembers all your little quirks, and glares at anyone who flirts with you. he’ll deny he’s jealous with a quick, “i just don’t like his vibe.” he ends up confessing by accident while half-asleep whispering, “i wish you were mine.” he’s loyal to a fault & literally your ride or die. and when you finally get together??? he’s the most thoughtful boyfriend ever. he brings your favorite snacks, leaves handwritten notes on your locker, reminds you to eat, to rest, to take care of yourself — because he always has. even before you knew he was yours.
✧ BAJI KEISUKE ✧ — “THE GUARD DOG WHO BITES EVERYONE BUT YOU”
the untamed boy who learns gentleness through you. he turns into a blushing menace whenever you compliment him. “i’m not soft. now don’t look at me like that!” (he is.) but if someone even thinks about hurting you? he would burn down the city without a second thought. he secretly keeps band-aids in his pocket just for you. says it’s ‘for emergencies’ but you’ve never seen him use them on anyone else. acts like he’s not into romance, but the moment you cry??? he’s holding you tighter than anyone else ever could.
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© itoshiierae 2025 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ please do not modify or repost my content onto any other platforms.
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jungkoode · 2 months ago
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𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 21
˗ˏˋ birthday shots ˎˊ˗
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"Jungkook’s friends, Jungkook’s birthday party… It’s all honestly not what you expected. But then again, Jungkook keeps twisting your expectations of him, once and once again."
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next | index
⋆。°✩ chapter details ✩°。⋆
word count: 8,4k
content: jungkook having friends, feeling out of place, pretty girls, judgemental people, tae/hobi/jk protecting the peace, shared secrets, nicknames gaining an intimate layer, stubbornness with spicy food, drinking, doing shots and jungkook being both attentive and protective.
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✧ author's note ✧
Aaaand we’re finally here. The party. The build-up. The chaos potential. The birthday. After 20 chapters of yearning, character dissection, awkward eye contact, and conversations that say everything and nothing at the same time… we are officially entering the next arc: actual real-world social interaction. Which, if you’ve been paying attention, is every character’s personal hell. Including mine.
First of all—yes, this is Jungkook’s party chapter. Yes, it’s a pivotal one. Yes, I was pacing around my flat in a hoodie muttering “okay but what would he wear” like a deranged method actor trying to get into character. And yes, there are about 15 new people here. But please don’t panic. You don’t need to memorize them all. This isn’t a fantasy war council. You’re not about to be quizzed on the name of Jungkook’s friend’s cousin’s dog. They’re not here to steal the plot—they’re here to color it.
Jungkook’s different social groups, clashing and blending like some unhinged Venn diagram of his life. They each say something about him and the many versions of himself he keeps—because, as always, this isn’t about the party. It’s about him and her, and us, and the very inconvenient reality of human attachment.
Now. Tessa (and yes, Toasty, when you read this… the name comes 100% from you hahaha).
Yup. That girl from the library. She’s here. She’s breathing. She’s talking. And she’s not a villain.
I know, I know, fanfiction is riddled with the evil-rival-love-interest trope. The girl who eyes you up and down with thinly veiled contempt. The passive aggressive bitch who “just happens” to sit on his lap or call him baby in front of you. The girl whose entire personality is “threat to the main couple.” And listen—I could never.
Tessa isn’t like that. Because most people aren’t like that. Attraction doesn’t automatically equal competition, and not every woman who talks to a man you like is an enemy. That’s such a tired, flat, boring cliche. I’m not writing this story to project misogynistic tropes onto women so we can feel smug about someone else being “the wrong one.” I don’t want you to root against her. I don’t want you to root against anyone, really. Maybe Mia, but that’s what she’s for. She’s your pressure valve. You need someone to hate. That’s what makes the rest bearable.
Tessa’s presence is not a betrayal. It’s just reality. Jungkook is allowed to be liked. He’s allowed to explore. And so is Nix. She’s not some pushover sainted martyr of “true love.” She’s a girl. She’s confused. She’s a little guarded. She’s still trying to understand herself.
There’s no jealousy because there is no claim. There’s no relationship, no commitment, no confessions, no secret “we’re basically already in love” subtext. There’s just this slow, painful, glacial slide into a kind of closeness that might one day become something else—but hasn’t. Not even close. This chapter is about a possible beginning of something resembling tentative friendship. We are barely out of enemies-to-mildly-tolerating-each-other zone. We are in the “do I text you or is that weird” era.
Don’t rush it. Don’t expect it. That’s not the story I’m telling.
Nix being unbothered isn’t character growth. It’s just honesty. It’s consistency. I’ve spent 20 chapters building a girl who’s emotionally guarded, private, and painfully aware of the dynamics she allows herself to engage in. She’s not “cool with it” to be cool—she’s just not invested like that yet. And that matters. We’re not jumping stages for drama. We’re walking, slowly, through the psychology of two people who don’t even know what they want. Let them be confused. Let them be messy. Let them take their time.
I’m writing slow burn with psychological realism at its core, and that means actions have context. If you came here expecting love confessions and possessive meltdowns and “he’s mine stay away” drama… wrong story, babes. I want you uncomfortable. I want you squinting at every interaction wondering if it means something. I want you to question how affection develops, really. Slowly. Subtly. Almost invisibly, until it’s all you can think about.
The story isn’t about dramatic betrayals or Big Plot Twists. It’s about tension. About two people orbiting each other in their own broken, stumbling ways. It’s about glances that last too long and words that don’t come out right and the way your heart knows something long before your brain does. It’s about patterns, and Jungkook’s are catching up to him.
You don’t need to like everyone. But you should understand them. And that’s what I’m asking of you here. Because these characters aren’t plot devices—they’re real to me. They’re studies. They’re messy. And god, I love them for it.
So yeah. Welcome to the party. The masks are on, the music’s loud, and no one knows how to behave when they’re being watched. Especially him.
Enjoy. Suffer. Stare at the page like you’re decoding a sacred text. That’s the vibe.
And as always…
You’re here to suffer. I’m here to deliver.
You’re welcome.
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⋆。°✩ read on✩°。⋆
ao3
wattpad
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You never realized a person could contain so many versions of themselves until you saw Jungkook surrounded by his friends.
"SURPRISE!"
The word explodes through the small ramen shop, followed by cheers and laughter as Jungkook freezes beside you. 
His fingers quickly pocket his phone, eyes widening with a genuine shock that transforms his entire face. 
Gone is the perpetually amused, slightly condescending roommate you've come to know. In his place stands someone younger, almost innocent—lips parting in stunned delight, eyes crinkling at the corners.
It's fucking weird is what it is.
"Holy shit," he breathes, a laugh bursting from him as Taehyung launches himself across the restaurant, wrapping Jungkook in a hug that nearly knocks him over. "What the fuck?"
Hobi follows immediately, bouncing on his feet like an overgrown puppy before throwing his arms around both of them, turning the duo into a chaotic tangle of limbs and laughter. 
Even Yoongi gets up, offering a slow clap before joining with a more restrained but no less genuine embrace—the kind with back pats that guys do when they want to prove they have exactly two emotions: hungry and sports.
You hang back, suddenly aware of how many strangers are packed into this place. 
The restaurant is full of people—at least a dozen beyond the ones you recognize—all focused on Jungkook with varying degrees of excitement. Some are already raising drinks in toast, others taking photos, a couple shouting things you can't quite make out over the general chaos.
"P-Kill! Happy birthday, man!"
"Proofs! You made it!"
"Proofy, get over here!"
What the actual fuck are these names? 
You frown, trying to connect these bizarre nicknames to the Jungkook you know—the one who leaves his dirty dishes in the sink and plays his music too loud and once tried to convince you that Kraft mac and cheese was "technically gourmet."
None of this computes.
Jungkook catches your confusion as he disentangles himself from his friends, eyes flicking toward you with that familiar half-smile that somehow feels like a private joke.
"Hey," he says, suddenly at your side again. His hand brushes your elbow briefly—not grabbing, just a light touch that seems oddly grounding in this chaos. "These are my friends. Guys, this is my roommate."
He says your name easily, no ‘Phoenix’ or ‘Nix’ in sight, and it's weirdly jarring—like hearing a song you know played in the wrong key. 
Not technically wrong, just... off.
The next few minutes are a blur of names and faces, most immediately forgotten as you try to keep track of who's who in this bizarre alternative universe where Jungkook is apparently the center of a large social circle. There's a group of guys—gamers, apparently—who keep calling him those weird nicknames.
"These three idiots," Jungkook explains, gesturing toward a trio of guys who look like they haven't seen sunlight in months, "are my Steam friends. My username is ProofedToKill, so that's where all the dumb nicknames come from."
Of course, that tracks. He's always yelling at the TV when he plays Call of Duty in the living room. You've had multiple arguments about it, usually ending with him putting on headphones and you turning up your music out of spite.
"Don't start," he warns, but there's no real edge to it. "I've already heard all your anti-shooters propaganda."
"It's not propaganda if it's true."
He rolls his eyes but doesn't take the bait, already being pulled toward another group by Taehyung. 
"Come on, there are more people you should meet."
You follow, because what else are you going to do? Stand alone by the door like some kind of abandoned pet? 
Besides, you're curious now. Curious about these other fragments of Jungkook's life that you've never been privy to before.
The space is packed, noisy in that way that forces everyone to talk slightly too loud. Sensory overload city. People keep touching Jungkook—hugs, shoulder claps, high fives—and he's letting them, which might be the weirdest part of all this. 
Since when does he like being touched by people who aren't naked?
"Jungkook!" a female voice exclaims, cutting through the noise. A tall girl with auburn hair moves toward him with the confident grace of someone who's never tripped over her own feet in public. "Happy birthday!"
She wraps him in a hug that makes you realize just how tall she is—like, almost his height tall—and beside her, another girl—smaller, with short black hair and glasses—offers a more reserved greeting.
"Hey Tessa, hey Diana," Jungkook says, looking genuinely pleased to see them. "Didn't think you'd be here!"
Tessa. 
The library girl. The one he was doing that group project thing with.  The one who kept laughing too loud whenever Jungkook said something that probably wasn't even that funny.
"Taehyung invited us," she explains, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hope that's okay."
"Of course it's okay," Jungkook says, and you hate how sincere he sounds. 
Where's the sarcastic asshole you live with? Who is this pod person?
"We brought you something," Diana says, holding out a small bag. "Just a little thing."
Jungkook accepts it with a thanks that sounds almost shy, and what the fuck? Since when is he shy about anything?
"Oh, this is my roommate," he adds, suddenly remembering your existence. 
He says your name again, and you force a smile because what else can you do in this bizarre social ritual?
"Nice to meet you," Tessa says with a warmth that feels genuine, which is almost worse than if she'd been fake. At least fake would make sense. "Jungkook's mentioned you before. You're in English Lit, right?"
He's talked about you? To her? 
What the fuck has he said?
"Yeah," you manage, because apparently your vocabulary has been reduced to monosyllables in the face of all this unexpected social interaction. "English major."
"That's amazing," she says, and she actually seems to mean it. "I'm in Film too, but I've always loved literature. What's your focus?"
Before you can answer—thank god, because you haven't prepared a thesis statement on your academic interests for a birthday party—Hobi appears with a tray of shots, announcing that it's time for the birthday boy to start celebrating properly.
So, of course, the whole crowd moves towards him, shots being thrown back easily. You find yourself suddenly on the outside of it, still standing with Tessa and Diana but no longer the focus of their attention.
It's a relief, honestly. 
You've never been good at this kind of thing—large groups, small talk, unfamiliar social dynamics. 
It's like being dropped into a play where everyone else knows the script and you're just… improvising. Kinda hoping you don't accidentally say the wrong line and reveal yourself as the impostor.
Your eyes wander around the restaurant, taking in the details you missed—it’s actually a cozy place, warm wood and soft lighting, with private booths along one wall and a long table down the center where most of Jungkook's friends have gathered. 
You can smell the sizzling of pans working through different ingredients—garlic, onion, ginger… But your eyes end up on Jungkook anyway.
He swallows down a shot, grimacing at the burn. 
Someone passes him another. 
Someone else claps him on the back. 
He's at the center of all this attention and he's... thriving in it. Laughing, talking.
It’s strange, seeing him like this. So carefree, so loud (although he’s always loud but this is a different kind of loud?)—so in his… element. 
You can’t help but feel out of place.
Because, truly. Do you even fit in here? Are you an element? Part of his element? Or whatever this is? 
This morning you were agonizing over whether you could be friends with the guy you've been fucking. 
Now you're standing in a room full of people who already are his friends, who've known him much longer than you have, who see a completely different side of him than the one you get.
It's... a lot.
You pull out your phone, needing something to do with your hands, but the screen stays dark. Okay. Dead. Fantastic.
"You okay?"
The voice at your elbow makes you jump. 
It's Jungkook, somehow back at your side despite the crowd still demanding his attention.
"Fine," you say automatically. "Just... observing."
His eyes scan your face, more perceptive than you'd like. "You look like you'd rather be literally anywhere else."
"Not true. I can think of at least three places that would be worse." You tick them off on your fingers. "The DMV. An insurance seminar. Dinner with my parents."
That gets a laugh out of him—a real one, one you seem to be getting out of him more and more often. 
“Fair enough. Come on, let me get you a drink. It'll help with..." 
He pauses, purses his lips as he tilts his head at you.
"With what, exactly?"
"The whole 'I'd rather eat glass than make small talk with strangers' vibe you're giving off."
"I'm not—" you start to protest, but he's already pulling you toward the bar, his hand warm against your lower back.
"It's fine, Phee," he says, the familiar nickname slipping out naturally now that you're momentarily separated from the crowd. "Not everyone's into the whole big social scene. You don't have to pretend."
You want to argue on principle—deny that he knows you that well, that he can read your discomfort so easily—but it would be pointless. 
He's right. 
You do hate this. 
And the fact that he noticed, that he came back to check on you instead of just leaving you to flounder on your own...
It's annoying. Or it should be. 
Instead, it feels weirdly considerate.
"I don't need a babysitter," you mutter as he flags down the bartender. "Go enjoy your party. I'm perfectly capable of standing in a corner judging people on my own."
"Maybe I'm enjoying my party more over here." 
He orders something you don't catch, then turns back to you with that half-smile that's somehow more familiar than the broad grin he's been flashing at everyone else.
“Besides, if I leave you alone too long, you might decide to ditch, and then who would I blame when I need an excuse to escape Hobi's karaoke demands?"
"Yoongi seems like a good scapegoat."
"Nah, Yoongi secretly loves karaoke. Just pretends to hate it so people will beg him. It's weird."
The bartender slides two glasses toward Jungkook—whiskey is one, by the look of it. 
The other one is… 
Vodka cranberry.
He remembers?
You lick your lips. Nervous suddenly. Maybe. Or not really. Just uncomfortable, because here it is again. Jungkook being attentive, doing these stupid kind things that completely shatter the reputation you have built for him in your head. 
"You really don't have to babysit me," you say again, but you take the drink anyway. "I'm fine."
His eyes search yours, more serious than usual. "I know you're fine. Maybe I just want to hang out with you."
Something shifts in your chest—a small, uncomfortable flutter. 
“Why? You have a dozen other people here who actually like you."
"Ouch." He presses a hand to his heart, mock wounded. "And here I thought we were making progress on the whole friendship thing."
"The jury's still out on that one."
"Uh-huh." He takes a sip of his whiskey, eyes never leaving yours. "Well, consider this evidence for the 'pro' column: I noticed you were uncomfortable and came to rescue you instead of letting you suffer in silence."
"Maybe I prefer suffering in silence."
"No one prefers suffering in silence, Nix. Some people just don't think they deserve better."
The way he says it makes something twirl uncomfortable inside your chest.
You take a large drink instead of responding, welcoming the burn as it slides down your throat.
“Make sure to finish that quickly. Get ready for the party games.”
"There are going to be party games?"
"That’s only the beginning."
"So," you say, swaying your glass slightly, watching the burgundy liquid catch the light, "ProofedToKill, huh? Didn't know I was living with such a badass."
"No? I thought you knew how badass I am.”
“You’re bad, and an ass. That doesn’t make you a badass. Different word.”
He laughs, low and warm, and you can’t help the smile that forms on your lips without conscious input.
"You know what it actually means?" he asks, leaning back against the wall. 
You raise an eyebrow. "That you're secretly a hitman with terrible grammar?"
"Hilarious." He rolls his eyes, but there's no real irritation behind it. "It's a baking term, actually."
"A what now?"
"Baking. You know, that thing people do with flour and heat instead of burning the place down.”
“If you bring up the candle incident one more time—”
He makes a zipping motion over his mouth, and your lips twitch with the effort of chuckling. 
“Wait, are you seriously telling me your super tough gamer name is about... baking?"
He sighs, looking down at his glass. "When you're making bread—sourdough specifically—there's this stage called 'proofing.’ It's when the dough rises, develops flavor. If you overproof it, it collapses. If you underproof, it's dense. But if you get it just right..."
"You've... proofed to kill?" you finish, unable to keep the disbelief from your voice.
"Exactly." He grins, clearly pleased that you've made the connection. "Perfect proofing. Killer bread. It's a whole thing."
You stare at him, genuinely speechless for perhaps the first time since you've known him. 
This man—this infuriating, cocky roommate who struts around like he owns every room he enters—has a gamer tag based on fucking bread-making. 
And he's admitting it. 
Voluntarily. 
"So let me get this straight," you say slowly. "Your badass online persona, the one all your friends call you by, is actually a baking pun?"
"In my defense, it's a really good pun. And most people assume it's about, you know, being good at shooting things. Which I also am." He shrugs, cockiness slipping back into place.
“You’re so weird,” you mutter, but you know he doesn’t take it seriously.
"Been doing it since college. The whole sourdough thing at midnight." He confesses, glancing around briefly, like he's checking to make sure no one else is listening, then lowers his voice. "My mom taught me. She had this whole recipe she'd developed over years, this perfect sourdough method. Made the best bread you've ever tasted."
Again that softness, almost reverence when he speaks about his mom. 
It always catches you off guard. You've never heard him talk like this before. Never heard him talk about his family at all, really.
"After she..." he continues, then stops himself, shaking his head slightly. "Anyway. I keep trying to recreate it. Haven't quite nailed it yet."
Neither of you speak for a couple of beats. His gaze is still fixed on his drink, and then he takes a sip, like his mind is somewhere else completely.
“Is that why you stress-bake at 3 AM? Trying to get the proof right?"
His eyes meet yours, surprised.
Maybe a little grateful for the redirect. 
“You’ve noticed?”
“I mean, I just went to the bathroom one night and saw you fighting the dough, so…”
He chuckles, gaze back on his glass. “Yeah. It's... meditative, I guess. Helps me think."
"Weird way to think, but okay."
"Says the person who reads the same depressing Kafka story fourteen times and calls it 'processing.'"
"It's a good story."
"It's about a guy turning into a giant bug."
"And it speaks to the alienation inherent in modern existence. Your point?"
He laughs again, shaking his head. "God, you're such a fucking English major."
"And you're a secret bread nerd. We all have our crosses to bear."
His smile shifts into something different—softer around the edges, almost vulnerable. "Don't tell anyone, okay? About the username thing. I have a reputation to maintain."
"What, you mean your friends don't know your tough gamer handle is actually about your sourdough obsession?"
"Only Yoongi knows. And now you." He drums his fingers on the glass once, twice. "That's enough oversharing on my part for the day, I think. Sooner or later it's going to have to be your turn, you know, Pyx?"
Great. A new variation of your nickname. Does he ever stop coming up with them?
"My turn for what?"
"Sharing something real." His eyes hold yours, steady. "Friendship goes both ways, Nix."
You scoff, ignoring the way your heart rate picks up slightly. "I share things."
"Like what? Your coffee order doesn't count."
"I told you about the IUD."
"That's medical, not personal."
"It's literally inside my body. How much more personal can it get?"
He sighs, but he makes it dramatic this time. "You know what I mean. Something that matters to you. Something real."
You do know. That's the problem. He's asking for exactly the kind of vulnerability you've spent years carefully avoiding. The kind that gives people ammunition, that creates expectations, that leads to disappointment when you inevitably fail to meet them.
But he just told you about his mom. About bread and baking and usernames that mean more than they appear to. He offered something real—small, maybe, but genuine.
And isn't that what this whole friendship experiment is supposed to be about?
You open your mouth, not entirely sure what's going to come out, when a crash from across the restaurant saves you. Hobi has somehow managed to knock over an entire tray of drinks, and the resulting chaos immediately draws everyone's attention, including Jungkook's.
"Shit," he mutters, already half-moving. "I should go help before he makes it worse."
"Go," you nod, equal parts relieved and strangely disappointed. "Your public needs you."
He hesitates, eyes still on yours. "We're not done with this conversation."
"Pretty sure we are."
"Pretty sure we're just getting started." He stands fully, but doesn't leave immediately. "Come join, okay? Whenever you’re ready.”
You watch him weave through the crowd toward the spill, already calling out something to Hobi that makes the other man laugh despite the mess. It's strange, seeing him like this—in his element, surrounded by people who know him in ways you don't.
ProofedToKill. A baking pun turned gamer tag. A piece of his mother he carries with him, encrypted in plain sight.
You take another sip of your vodka cranberry, wondering what else about Jungkook you've been missing all this time.
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Eleven people crammed around a table is basically psychological warfare in restaurant form.
You're somehow stuck directly across from Jungkook, because apparently the universe has a shitty sense of humor. 
Next to him, Tessa has claimed her territory, her long legs perfectly positioned under the table while yours are already cramping from the weird angle. Of course.
At least you've got Yoongi on your left—a silent, grounding presence in the chaos. When you'd awkwardly hovered near his chair, he'd just grunted and shifted slightly to make room. 
In Yoongi-speak, that's practically a formal invitation with calligraphy and shit.
Diana sits on your other side, petite and prim, her small hands already arranging her napkin with quick movements. She keeps glancing at Tessa across the table with an expression you can't quite decipher—somewhere between admiration and mild disapproval.
The menu in Yoongi's hands looks worn and slightly sticky, but your stomach is basically staging a revolt after hours of nothing but ibuprofen and vodka. You lean over, scanning the options without asking permission because fuck it, you're hungry.
The spicy ramen section catches your eye immediately. 
Your stomach gives another impatient growl.
"I want those," you announce, pointing at the spiciest option on the menu.
Yoongi barely blinks. "Cool. I didn't ask."
You roll your eyes and lean back in your chair because, okay, whatever. Rude ass. Though honestly, there's something almost refreshing about his complete lack of social polish. 
At least you always know where you stand with him, which is approximately nowhere.
A movement across the table draws your attention. 
Jungkook's eyes have lifted from his own menu, catching yours with an intensity that feels weirdly intimate in the crowded space. His gaze flickers down again almost immediately, but not before you notice the corner of his mouth tilting upward.
What's he laughing about? Stupid. He's stupid.
"I kinda wanted the spicy ones too," he says, looking up again. "Maybe we can share?"
You squint at him suspiciously. "Huh? No. I want the bowl entirely for me."
Diana makes a soft sound beside you—half laugh, half disbelief. 
“I can't believe you can eat all that."
The words hang there for a moment while your brain processes the judgment packaged in her innocent-sounding comment. 
Did she just really—
"C'mon Diana," Tessa cuts in swiftly, laugh warm and genuine, "not everyone has a small stomach like you."
Diana scowls, her delicate features pinching together. "I just think that's a lot to eat."
"Bro, I could eat two bowls in one sitting," Jungkook says.
"Make that three," Taehyung adds from Jungkook's other side. "You're a fucking goblin, Kooks."
"Three? Amateur," one of the gamer guys—Steve? Sean?—chimes in from the end of the table. "Remember that time after the tournament when you ate four bowls of ramen and then threw up in my car?"
"That was food poisoning," Jungkook protests. "Totally different situation."
"Your face was poisoned."
"What does that even mean?"
"Your face... poisoned... my eyes," the guy finishes lamely, clearly losing his train of thought.
"Ten points from Slytherin for that weak-ass comeback," Hobi declares, raising his beer like a wizard's wand. "Jungkook requires better trash talk in his honor."
"Oh shit, we're using Hogwarts points now?" another one asks. "When did we switch systems?"
"Since I just decided, and I'm the dungeon master."
"That's D&D, you uncultured swine," Taehyung sighs, long-suffering. "Completely different franchise."
"Whatever, they're all just wizard nerds," Hobi says with a dismissive wave.
"That's wizard king to you, peasant," Jungkook corrects, puffing out his chest.
“Do you all... actually play these games?" Diana asks, voice faintly disdainful.
"Only when we're not busy with our super cool and important adult lives," Taehyung says, deadpan.
"I just don't get the appeal," she sniffs. "Sitting inside all day, staring at screens—"
"Yo," Hobi cuts in smoothly, somehow managing to sound both friendly and firm at the same time, "different strokes for different folks. Some people climb mountains, some people slay digital dragons. Both valid." 
Diana shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. "I guess."
"Besides," you find yourself saying, "it's literally his birthday. Maybe, I don't know, let him enjoy things without the judgment?"
The words come out sharper than intended, surprising even you. 
Since when do you jump to Jungkook's defense? Since when do you care if someone judges his nerdy gaming habits?
Jungkook looks equally surprised, eyebrows raised slightly as he studies your face. Then his expression shifts into something softer, almost appreciative.
"Exactly. Today's about celebrating you," Tessa adds, turning to Jungkook with a warm smile. "And apparently your inhuman ability to consume ramen."
"It's my superpower," he says solemnly. "With great appetite comes great indigestion."
A ripple of laughter moves around the table, breaking the awkward moment. Diana still looks sulky, but at least she's dropped the subject.
The waiter appears then, ready to take orders, and the conversation splinters as everyone tries to decide what they want.
"You really getting the level five spicy?" Yoongi asks quietly while the others debate.
"Yeah. Why, think I can't handle it?"
He snorts. "Just checking if I need to order extra water for when you inevitably start crying."
"I do not cry from spicy food."
"Everyone cries from spicy food if it's actually spicy."
"Well, we'll see, won't we?"
He shrugs, a barely perceptible movement of one shoulder. "Your funeral."
"Comforting as always, Yoon."
The ghost of a smile flits across his face before he returns to his default expression of mild disinterest.
Across the table, Jungkook is in the middle of a heated debate with Taehyung about... something involving a game you've never heard of. His hands move animatedly as he talks, face lit with genuine enthusiasm. One of his friends keeps trying to interject, but Jungkook and Taehyung are in their own world, talking over each other and somehow still understanding perfectly.
He looks so unguarded.
So... normal. Like any other twenty-something guy arguing about video games with his friends.
Not that you care. It's just an observation.
"So you're Jungkook's roommate," Diana says, drawing your attention back to her. Her tone suggests this is somehow both surprising and slightly concerning.
"Yep." You keep it brief, hoping she'll take the hint and drop whatever line of questioning is forming behind those judgmental eyes.
No such luck.
"And how did that happen exactly? Through the university housing board?"
"Craigslist, actually."
Her eyebrows shoot up like you've just admitted to finding the apartment through a demonic summoning ritual. 
“Oh! Isn't that... dangerous?"
"Not really. The apartment was already Yoongi and Jungkook's. I just answered the ad for the third room."
"Still," she persists, "moving in with two guys you don't know. That's brave."
The way she says ‘brave’ makes it clear she means ‘stupid,’ but you're not in the mood to defend your housing choices to someone who probably thinks spicy ramen is too adventurous.
"Not really. Yoongi's background check was pretty thorough," you deadpan. "Only had to provide three references, a blood sample, and my complete genetic history."
Diana blinks, clearly unsure if you're joking.
"It's true," Yoongi confirms without looking up from his phone. "Her midichlorian count was acceptable."
"What’s… midichlorian?" Diana asks uncertainly.
"It’s a real scientific test," you say, keeping your expression perfectly serious. "Very exclusive."
She frowns, increasingly confused, and you feel a small, petty satisfaction at her discomfort.
"They're fucking with you," Taehyung calls from across the table, apparently tuned into your conversation despite seemingly being absorbed in his argument with Jungkook. "It's a Star Wars reference."
"Oh." Diana forces a laugh that doesn't reach her eyes. "Right."
"Ignore them," Tessa says kindly. "They operate on their own wavelength sometimes."
"Especially these two," Hobi adds, gesturing between Taehyung and Jungkook. "Like an old married couple, but with more shouting and fewer financial benefits."
"What do you mean fewer financial benefits?" Jungkook protests. "I've been carrying his broke ass in-game economy for years."
"That gold farm was my idea!"
"Your idea crashed the server and got us banned for a week!"
"Details," Taehyung waves dismissively. "The point is, I'm the brains of this operation."
"And I'm the beauty," Jungkook fires back, striking a pose that makes Hobi snort water through his nose.
It's all so... easy. The banter, the inside jokes, the casual way they navigate each other's personalities. They've clearly had years to develop this rhythm, to learn each other's edges and how to fit together despite them—or maybe because of them.
Something twists in your chest, sharp and unexpected. You busy yourself with your water glass, suddenly very interested in the condensation gathering along its sides.
The waiter returns with drinks, setting them around the table. You're grateful for the distraction, for something to do with your hands besides fidget awkwardly.
"Alright," Hobi declares once everyone has a drink, lifting his glass. "To the birthday boy! May your K/D ratio remain impressive and your hairline unreceded."
"Here's to another year of Jungkook being Jungkook," Taehyung adds, raising his own glass. "God help us all."
"To Kooks," Tessa says, her voice softer but no less sincere. "Happy birthday."
Glasses clink around the table, a chorus of echoed sentiments following. You lift your glass automatically, catching Jungkook's eye as you do. He's watching you, before he smiles—small and surprisingly genuine.
"Thanks for getting me here," he says quietly, just for you.
"Don't mention it," you reply, equally quiet. "Seriously. Don't. I'll deny everything."
His smile widens, and for a moment, it feels like you're back in that booth from earlier—just the two of you, everyone else fading to background noise.
Then Taehyung jostles his arm, demanding his opinion on something, and the moment breaks. 
You take a sip of your drink, trying to ignore the strange feeling that's settled in your chest.
It's probably just hunger. Or the vodka from earlier. 
Or the fact that you've been in this loud, crowded restaurant for what feels like hours now, surrounded by people you barely know, playing a role you're not quite sure how to perform.
Yeah. That's definitely it.
The server arrives with a ridiculous number of bowls balanced along his arms like some kind of food-based Cirque du Soleil performer. Steam rises from each one, carrying scents that make your stomach growl with embarrassing volume.
A massive, angry-looking bowl lands in front of you, the broth practically glowing red. It looks like someone liquefied the sun and threw in some noodles as an afterthought.
Perfect.
Two bowls slide in front of Jungkook—your spicy demon soup's twin and something much more reasonable looking, probably miso based on the color.
"Hungry much?" you ask, eyeing his double order.
"Growing boy," he shrugs, already reaching for chopsticks.
Taehyung, meanwhile, receives... a plate of curry rice? 
"Seriously?" You can't help the judgment that leaks into your voice. "We're at a ramen place and you ordered curry?"
He shoots you a look that could curdle milk. "Some of us have taste beyond 'hot noodle soup.'"
"Some of us aren't afraid of flavor, dickasso."
"Bold words from someone currently holding weapons-grade capsaicin," he fires back, gesturing at your bowl. "Does your taste even function, or did you burn it all away with your sad little Hot Pockets diet?"
"At least I'm not too precious to eat what the restaurant specializes in."
“This is objectively superior."
"Only if your objective is being a pretentious dick."
"I prefer 'discerning connoisseur.'"
"You would."
You hate that banter with Taehyung is starting to become more and more comfortable. Like verbal sparring with someone who actually knows how to return a serve, instead of just standing there getting hit in the face with the ball. 
Not that you like him or anything. His whole vibe—artsy, too cool for school, judgmental as fuck—is objectively annoying.
But maybe also a little entertaining. 
In small doses. 
Very small.
Across the table, Hobi watches this exchange with undisguised amusement, head swiveling between you. 
"I feel like I'm witnessing the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he says, grinning widely. "Or a homicide. Hard to tell."
"Definitely homicide," Taehyung and you say in unison, then glare at each other for the coordination.
You turn your attention back to your ramen, inhaling the spicy steam before digging in. The first bite hits like a kick to the teeth—pain followed immediately by pleasure. 
It's fucking delicious despite feeling like you just licked the surface of the sun.
"Good?" Yoongi asks, watching your face with what might be the ghost of amusement.
"Incredible," you manage, already reaching for more.
Across the table, Jungkook dives into his own spicy bowl with enthusiasm, slurping noodles with zero concern for how it looks. A drop of broth escapes, clinging to his lower lip.
You're about to say something—point it out, make fun of his complete lack of eating etiquette, something—when Tessa reaches out, casual as anything, and swipes her thumb across his lip.
"Messy," she says, the word warm with affection.
He tilts his head toward her, smiling in a way that can only be described as flirtatious. 
“That's my brand."
You purse your lips, returning your attention to your own food. 
Whatever. Let him preen over a pretty girl paying attention to him. His loser ass probably never gets that chance.
Although... that's a lie and you know it. 
The guy is annoyingly good-looking and he knows it. He's probably used to girls fawning over him, cleaning his face like he's a toddler who can't be trusted with utensils.
"Whatcha looking at, Phee—" He cuts himself off abruptly, eyes widening slightly. "—asantly surprised by how spicy that ramen is? Your face is getting red."
Smooth recovery. Not.
"Just thinking about how long it's been since I've had decent ramen."
You grab your water glass, suddenly very aware of the burning sensation spreading across your tongue. 
It's fine. Totally manageable. Nothing to worry about.
"Knew it," Yoongi mutters beside you.
You set the glass down with more force than necessary. "It's not spicy."
"Uh-huh." He doesn't even bother looking up from his own bowl. "That's why your face is the same color as the broth."
"It's warm in here."
"Sure it is."
"I can handle spice."
"Never said you couldn't."
"You implied it."
He finally glances at you, expression as bored as ever. "I implied you're a liar, not a spice lightweight."
"I'm not—" Another wave of heat crashes through your mouth, cutting off your protest. "Fine. It's a little spicy."
The corner of his mouth twitches in what might be a smile on anyone else. "A little."
"Shut up and eat your boring miso."
Amazingly, he actually laughs—a short, quiet sound that's there and gone so quickly you almost think you imagined it. 
But no, that was definitely a laugh. From Yoongi. Directed at something you said.
Huh.
You return to your ramen, determined to finish it despite the way your sinuses are starting to protest. 
It's a matter of pride now. You said you could handle it, so you'll handle it, even if it kills you.
Which it might. But what a way to go.
You glance up, seeing how Jungkook and Tessa have their heads tilted toward each other, engaged in what looks like a very amusing conversation based on her laugh. She keeps touching his arm, casual little points of contact that seem to arrive at perfectly timed intervals.
She's good at this, you'll give her that. The whole flirting thing. Not too obvious, not too reserved. Just the right amount of interest without seeming desperate.
Huh. He might get laid tonight then. Not by you. 
Good for him. 
"You're staring again," Taehyung says, his voice pitched low enough that only you can hear. "Plotting his murder or just generally disapproving of his existence?"
"Just wondering how someone with the personality of a half-deflated balloon animal manages to function in society," you reply smoothly.
"Years of practice and an excellent support system." He gestures between himself and Hobi, who's busy trying to convince one of the gamer guys that yes, there is in fact sake in the sake bomb he just drank. "We've been managing his personality disorder since freshman year."
"Sounds exhausting."
"It is." His eyes drift to where Jungkook is now showing Tessa something on his phone, both of them laughing. "But he has his moments."
You turn your attention back to your food. Halfway through, you make the tactical error of taking a large bite just as Hobi says something particularly funny, causing you to inhale sharply—and sending a piece of chili directly into your windpipe.
Coughing. So much coughing. 
Your eyes water immediately, turning the table into a blurry mess of colors and shapes as you desperately reach for your water again.
"Easy there," Yoongi says, actually sounding a little concerned as he pushes your glass closer. "Small sips."
You manage to get the water down between coughs, the cool liquid offering minimal relief to your burning throat.
"You okay?" Jungkook asks, leaning across the table with a frown.
Great. Now everyone's looking at you. Perfect. Just what you wanted. All the attention.
"Fine," you rasp, waving a hand dismissively. "Went down the wrong pipe."
"Maybe you should try something less lethal," Diana suggests, eyeing your bowl with thinly veiled judgment. "Like the mild shoyu."
"I'm good with my life choices, thanks."
"Not all of them, I hope," Taehyung mutters, just loud enough for you to hear.
You kick him under the table, aiming for his shin but probably hitting the table leg instead based on his lack of reaction.
"If you die from ramen, I'm not cleaning out your room," Yoongi says matter-of-factly.
"Noted. I'll make sure to haunt you specifically."
"Bold of you to assume I'd notice the difference."
"What, between me alive and me as a ghost?"
"You already have a resting bitch face and make weird noises at night. How would I tell?"
You choke again, this time on your own surprise. 
"I do not make weird noises at night!"
"The walls are thin."
Heat creeps up your neck, and it has nothing to do with the spice level of your food. 
“I don't—that's not—"
"Relax. I meant the way you talk in your sleep."
Oh. That's... marginally less mortifying.
"I talk in my sleep?"
"Constantly."
"About what?"
He shrugs. "Mostly nonsense. Something about pencils last night. Very intense opinions on pencils."
"I don't have opinions about pencils," you protest. "Intense or otherwise."
"Tell that to your subconscious."
The conversation shifts as one of the gamers—Ryan? you think?—slams his empty sake cup on the table with more force than necessary.
"Yo!" he announces, loud enough to get everyone's attention. "We should do shots. Birthday shots for the birthday boy!"
A chorus of approval goes up around the table. Even Diana looks on board with this plan, probably because alcohol is the one thing that might loosen up whatever's holding her personality together.
"The birthday boy needs birthday shots," Hobi agrees, already signaling the waiter.
Taehyung groans. "Please tell me we're not doing that ridiculous 'one shot for each year' tradition. I'm not carrying his drunk ass home again."
"That was one time," Jungkook protests.
"One time too many. You kept trying to pet dogs that weren't there."
"I was seeing through the space-time continuum to where dogs would eventually be."
"You threw up in my shower."
"I cleaned it!"
"With my loofah!"
"I replaced it!"
"After I used it!"
You watch this exchange with growing amusement, the rapid-fire back-and-forth almost dizzying in its intensity. It's clear this is a well-worn argument, trotted out for entertainment value rather than actual grievance.
"Fine," Taehyung concedes dramatically. "Birthday shots. But I'm not responsible for any hallucinated canines or bathroom incidents."
"Deal," Jungkook grins, then turns to Tessa. "You in?"
She laughs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I should probably pace myself. Early class tomorrow."
"Responsible," he nods, mock serious. "I respect that."
"Unlike some people," Taehyung mutters, glancing pointedly at Jungkook.
"It's my birthday. I'm legally exempt from responsibility for twenty-four hours."
"That's not a law."
"It's the law of birthdays, Tae. Everyone knows this."
Ryan—definitely Ryan—flags down the server successfully this time, ordering a round of shots for the table. 
“Even for the responsible ones," he insists when Tessa tries to decline. "Just one. For Proofs."
She relents with a smile, rolling her stupid pretty eyes. 
"You too, Miss Spicy Ramen," Ryan says, nodding toward you. "Unless you can't handle your liquor either."
Is that a challenge? It sounds like a challenge.
"I can handle my liquor just fine," you say.
“Debatable,” Jungkook mutters, the menace.
"Oh, fighting words," Hobi laughs, clapping his hands together. "I sense a story here."
"There's no story," Jungkook says quickly.
"I think we've found the first drinking game of the night," Hobi declares. "Most embarrassing Jungkook stories. Winner gets... I don't know, bragging rights and my eternal respect."
"That's not fair," Jungkook protests. "I'm the birthday boy. I should be exempt from humiliation."
"Birthday boy gets birthday roast," Taehyung counters. 
Even Yoongi cracks a smile at that, which might be the most shocking development of the evening so far.
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Five shots in and the room has developed that particular tilt that makes everything both sharper and blurrier at the same time.
"Next round!" Seth announces, grinning as he surveys the damage he's caused. 
Seth, as you've learned through increasingly slurred introductions, is one of Jungkook's film school friends—tall, blonde, and way too enthusiastic about drinking games for someone his size. 
"Embarrassing stories! Laugh and you drink!"
Groans mixed with cheers ripple around the table, which has somehow gotten messier and louder with each passing shot. Empty glasses create a small army between plates. Someone knocked over the soy sauce earlier, and no one's bothered to clean it up.
"Oh, oh, OH!" Taehyung practically bounces in his seat, raising his hand like an overeager student. "I have one."
"This'll be good," Yoongi mutters beside you, the most he's spoken in twenty minutes.
Taehyung clears his throat dramatically. "Picture this: Eighth grade. School talent show."
"No," Jungkook groans, head dropping into his hands. "Not that one."
"Yes, that one." Taehyung's grin is borderline evil. "Our boy Kooks here decides he's going to impress Minah Park with a dance routine."
"I'm begging you," Jungkook says, voice muffled through his fingers.
"To what song, you ask?" Taehyung continues, undeterred. "None other than 'Milkshake' by Kelis."
Ryan lets out a bark of laughter, immediately reaching for his shot.
"Oh my god," Diana whispers, eyes wide.
"Did he know what the song was about?" Tessa asks, already giggling.
"That's the best part," Taehyung says, pausing for dramatic effect. "He thought it was literally about making good milkshakes. His mom helped him with the routine."
The table erupts. Even Yoongi snorts, reaching for his shot glass with resigned dignity. You're trying—genuinely trying—to hold it in, pressing your lips together, but then you make the mistake of looking at Jungkook's mortified expression and it's over. Laughter spills out, and you grab your shot, tossing it back with a wince.
"His mom found out what it meant halfway through the performance," Taehyung continues, wiping tears from his eyes. "Her face—I wish smartphones existed back then."
"I hate you," Jungkook mutters, but there's no heat behind it. "So much."
"Did Minah like it at least?" Hobi asks, still chuckling.
"She transferred schools the next week," Taehyung says solemnly. "Unrelated reasons, allegedly."
Another round of laughter, another round of shots.
"My turn," Hobi declares once the chaos subsides. "Let me tell you about the first time I met this guy."
"Which version are you telling?" Jungkook asks warily.
"The true one," Hobi says with a wink. "Picture it: 2021. Dance studio on 8th. This scrawny kid walks in, says he needs to film a project for his class."
"I wasn't scrawny," Jungkook protests.
"You were a twig with hair," Hobi dismisses. "Anyway, he sets up his equipment, very professional, very serious. Then my advanced hip-hop class starts, and halfway through, he abandons his camera to try and join in."
"Oh no," Tessa whispers, delighted.
"Oh yes," Hobi confirms. "He jumps in, full confidence, absolutely sure he can keep up. Two eight-counts later, he slips, takes out my star student, and they both crash into the mirror."
"It didn't break!" Jungkook interjects.
"It cracked," Hobi corrects. "Still there. I call it the Jungkook Memorial Spiderweb."
You laugh despite yourself, drinking quickly to hide your smile when Jungkook shoots you a betrayed look.
"What about you, Yoongi?" Seth asks, refilling glasses with alarming efficiency. "How'd you meet the birthday boy?"
Yoongi regards the question like it's asked him to explain quantum physics. 
“Music production seminar. He needed help with a film score." He shrugs. "He wasn't completely terrible."
"From Yoongi, that's basically a marriage proposal," Hobi stage-whispers.
"Wow, such a beautiful story," you deadpan. "So moving. So detailed."
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Not all of us need a thousand words to make a point."
"Clearly." You snort, then immediately regret it when the room spins slightly. 
"What about you, new girl?" Seth asks, suddenly focused on you with an intensity that feels both flattering and vaguely predatory. "Got any good Jungkook stories from the roommate archives?"
All eyes turn to you, expectant. 
You scramble for something suitably embarrassing but not too revealing.
“Oh, I’ve got plenty,” you say, the alcohol making you bolder than usual. “But I have to live with him, so I’m weighing the entertainment value against the revenge factor.”
“Coward,” Taehyung coughs into his hand.
"Yeah, tell us the real dirt," Seth presses, leaning forward with a grin that suggests he's hoping for something scandalous.
You narrow your eyes, suddenly protective of the weird dynamic you share with Jungkook. These people don't get to know about the late-night arguments over the TV volume, or the silent coffee maker standoffs, or the way he sometimes hums in the shower when he thinks no one can hear.
"Sorry to disappoint," you say with exaggerated sweetness, "but I value my security deposit too much to reveal his darkest secrets."
"Cop-out," Seth accuses, but he's smiling.
"Another round!" Ryan announces, refilling shot glasses with something that smells vaguely like cinnamon and regret. "Tessa, you laughed at the dance story, you owe one."
“I didn’t!” she protests, but she’s fighting a smile now. “I was just… appreciating the story.”
“Liar! Your lips twitched. That’s a drink.”
She shakes her head, still smiling. “No way. I have that early class, remember?”
Before Ryan can argue further, Jungkook smoothly grabs her shot and downs it in one fluid motion. 
“Problem solved,” he says, setting the empty glass back on the table with a decisive clink.
Something about the gesture—casual, protective, maybe a little possessive—makes your stomach twist in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol or spicy ramen. 
Seth slides another shot toward you. “Here, you need a refill.”
You stare at it, trying to do math through the fuzzy haze of alcohol. 
How many shots have you had? Four? Five? You've lost count, which is probably not a great sign.
But everyone’s looking at you, waiting, and you’ve never been good at backing down from a challenge—especially when you’re already tipsy and your judgment is shot to hell.
You reach for the shot, hesitating only slightly. It burns going down, making you cough and sputter in a way that is definitely not attractive, but whatever. You can handle it.
Probably.
“Another round!” Seth calls. “Funniest pet stories. Go.”
And so the new game continues, stories flying around the table with increasing volume and decreasing coherence.
You lose track of who’s talking, everything blurring into laughter and voices and the clinking of glasses.
“Oh, and remember when Jungkook tried to sneak into that bar with his cousin’s ID?” someone is saying—maybe Ryan? The faces at the end of the table are swimming a bit. “The bouncer took one look at the picture and said, ‘This says you’re 5’4” and Filipino.’”
More laughter, more shots. The room spins again when you tilt your head back to drink.
“Another one for you,” Seth says, sliding a fresh shot in front of you after you laugh at something Hobi said. His hand lingers near yours on the table, fingers almost but not quite touching. “Don’t tell me you’re backing down so soon?"
The challenge in his tone hits some stupid part of your brain—the part that's been responsible for most of your worst decisions. 
So of course you grab the shot.
"Just getting started," you declare, tossing it back with more confidence than coordination. 
Seth grins, clearly pleased by your response. "I like you. You're fun."
"I'm a goddamn delight," you agree solemnly, which makes Taehyung snort into his drink.
The next round comes with someone telling a tale about Jungkook getting locked out of his dorm freshman year wearing only a towel. Hobi recounts the time Jungkook tried to learn breakdancing and sprained both wrists. Jungkook retaliates with something about Taehyung and body paint that has everyone howling and reaching for their drinks.
You keep pace, determined not to be the one who can't hang, even as the room develops an interesting spin and your tongue feels increasingly disconnected from your brain.
"Another one!" Seth declares, sliding a fresh shot in front of you.
You stare at it, hiccupping slightly. The thought of one more makes your stomach perform an acrobatic maneuver. 
"I don't know..."
"Come on," he urges, eyes bright with that specific drunk intensity people get when they're determined to make everyone else as wasted as they are. "Don't quit now."
You hiccup slightly, staring at the shot with growing uncertainty. 
Your stomach churns in warning.
But your pride is a stubborn, stupid stupid thing.
Before you can decide, Jungkook’s arm shoots across the table, grabbing the shot and downing it in one quick movement. His eyes find Seth’s, narrowed and unmistakably warning.
“I think she’s good,” he says, voice deceptively casual.
Seth raises his hands in mock surrender. “Just keeping the game going, man.”
You stare at Jungkook, confused by the intervention. He catches your look and shrugs, a simple ‘what?’ in his expression that somehow makes you frown harder.
The game shifts again, someone suggesting “Never Have I Ever” as a change of pace. Your brain struggles to keep up with the new rules, everything moving a little too fast, a little too loud.
“Never have I ever…” Seth taps his chin thoughtfully, eyes finding yours again. “Been skinny dipping.”
You groan internally. Of course he’d pick something designed to make people admit to being naked. Typical.
Those who have done it drink, including Jungkook, which makes Tessa raise her eyebrows in a way that seems both surprised and intrigued. 
You remain still, glass untouched, which somehow feels like a victory.
The questions continue around the table, growing progressively more suggestive as everyone’s inhibitions lower. 
A fresh shot appears in front of you, courtesy of Ryan, who’s moved on from the game and is now just passing out alcohol indiscriminately.
“Drink up!” he declares. “We’re celebrating!”
You stare at the shot, swaying slightly in your seat. The room feels too hot, too crowded, too everything. Your brain is sending out warning signals, but they’re muffled under layers of alcohol and stubbornness.
Jungkook is watching you, expression unreadable but lips pressed together in what might be concern. 
He knows you shouldn’t drink that. 
You know you shouldn’t drink that. 
But admitting it feels like losing somehow.
So you reach for the glass. Fingers clumsy.
Suddenly it’s gone—snatched away by a hand behind you.
“She doesn’t want any more, broski.”
You whip around so fast the room spins alarmingly, but there’s no mistaking that voice, that attitude, that general aura of ‘fuck around and find out.’
Yeji throws back the shot with 0 problem, slamming the empty glass on the table with a decisive clink. 
Behind her, Irya and Jimin hover like backup, taking in the scene with varying levels of amusement.
“Surprise.” Yeji grins, sharp and protective. “Happy birthday, dickhead,” she adds, nodding at Jungkook. “Mind if we crash the party?”
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goal: 600 notes
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629 notes · View notes
menop033 · 4 months ago
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My favorite crimes Barbara Gordon has committed
Full disclosure, I am considering only New Earth Babs because the other versions are simply inferior. I will ignore the typical masked adventurer crimes she did as Batgirl, like assault, breaking and entering, trespassing, obstructing justice and vigilantism. I will also not really consider the very classic Oracle shenanigans like hacking, accessing some databases she probably shouldn't, stealing from rich criminals to fund her own (kinda criminal) operation, invading privacy and literally doing illegal spy work with Birds of Prey. Because those are boring and I want something that's not just another Tuesday. So, in no particular order:
Changing the light on traffic lights
Stupid and small but I love it. Very iconic and very Barbara-like.
+Extra Helena who has very logical and understandable qualms about Oracle's power and influence
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[Birds of Prey (1999) #58]
Blackmailing Catwoman into returning stolen paintings
And threatening to send her money to charities. Catwoman begrudgingly obliged.
I am not too sure about what happened leading to that moment. That comic didn't have a particularly strong story. I think Selina stole them while Barbara was still Batgirl?
Either way, the ending is pretty memorable for me. Ultimate irony - threatening her into returning stolen goods by stealing funds from her.
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[Birds of Prey: Catwoman/Oracle]
Making a deal with Gotham City's emergency services
and then using the tech she implemented to override the control of the vehicles when needed. Or, when she wants to. This one instance was because Steph just got shot in the head and didn't really want to end up in an ER where her mother worked, exposing her (third) secret identity. It worked out so yay?
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[Batgirl (2009) #6]
Sort of kidnapping Wendy Harris
To be fair, she did it because Calculator, Oracle's arch nemesis and Wendy's father, was endangering her and she did it to protect her but a little more explanation couldn't hurt. But that wouldn't be Barbara without her genial tendency to keep everyone but herself in the dark. I guess she really did keep Wendy in the dark. In the basement.
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[Batgirl (2009) #11]
Political corruption
We never get to learn what exactly she did. She just said that many leaders owe her their positions. it sure as hell doesn't sound legal. World-wide corruption? Why not. Entirely too much power for one person to hold. 10/10
Also, I bet you that those power grids aren't exactly controlled legally.
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[Birds of Prey (1999) #103]
Blowing up a government facility and getting rid of some evidence
Well, Cass decided to break into a government facility and free a terrorist to prove a point that everyone can change. And in doing so she left them some photo, video and DNA evidence.
Oracle therefore later sent her back there to destroy it, blowing the building up in the process. Oh and she also presumably helped the guy get fake documents but that's not 100% confirmed (Cass said that it's from her friends as she gave them to him).
She really cares about her not-quite-daughter <3
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[Batgirl (2000) #17]
Her father/uncle (the Gordon family was kind of a mess after Crisis) might be the commissioner of Gotham but she clearly doesn't respect the law in the slightest. They love eachother, of course, they just don't share the same views on the law.
I simply enjoy how unhinged her methods sometimes usually are and we need to recognise that. Also, while we are at it, get rid of Prime Earth Barbara's characterisation and bring back the competent and sarcastic control-freak.
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goatgoesmbe · 4 months ago
Note
bestie you UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT
nah cause Price will 100% hold them there for as long as possible, like just vibing as if all of the unhinged comments reader is saying aren't passing through him at all
the 141 os genuinely panicked at one point when reader makes an extremely bold move right behind him, or something cheeky like taking something from the floor but not without making her ass as visible as possible
and then Price giving her condoms, i can't that'd be hilarious, their hearts stop for a moment until Price is just like "i'd feel way too old if you have kids now"
from the blurb dbf!141
Price watched as you very purposefully grind your ass against Simon's crotch with the excuse of reaching for some sauce at the other side of the table-- but instead of walking around, you scooted in front of him and bent over the table
And he could laugh from the look on Johnny's face, anxiety mixed with lust, like he was thinking about how to stop this from getting out of hand but also wanted to be in Simon's place at the same time. Blue eyes glancing at Kyle like he was silently saying "You seeing this?"
Kyle only raised an eyebrow in response, the corner of his lips twitched before he slowly made his way over to your side who was still teasing Simon. He was like Johnny at first, trying to be rational and ignored your advances, but his patience was beginning to fray at the edges
And so, under the table his hand went up your skirt, leaving a burning trail on your skin as he teased up and up before resting on your inner thigh.
You didn't mind it at all of course, if anything, you had to bite down your lip to prevent yourself from smiling giddily as Simon's rougher hands gripped your hips to keep you still as Kyle continued his ministration
Johnny's face was red at this point, he wanted to join in so bad but- Price was literally standing right there, and how could the older man not notice?!
Except, he did in fact, notice
"Here" His captain's gruff voice snapped him out of his thought, and he looked down to see a small gadget, a remote
Johnny gulped, of course you had a little toy in you all this time, you minx
"Don't just stand there, go ahead" Price added as he tossed the remote at the Scot before pulling out his cigar like he didn't just give them a green light to have fun with his step-daughter
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