#anywho. send post

[mars-ipan]

thinking abt ocd komaeda. gonna put my thoughts under the cut 👍 some spoilers so beware

i recently saw a post (don’t remember who by, very sorry v_v) saying that while the headcanon that komaeda has ocd makes sense at a glance, it doesn’t really “work” because ocd relies on irrational fears, and for komaeda the fear that something horrible is going to happen is very very founded due to his luck. and like. hard agree on the “komaeda’s fears are rational in his situation,” but i don’t think this makes it impossible for him to have ocd. (NOTE: i have nothing against the mentioned post or the person who made it, it’s genuinely a very good point. zero hard feelings <3)

for komaeda, i don’t think the irrationality lies in the fact that he is afraid. it makes complete sense for him to be afraid. instead, the irrationality lies in the thought that there’s anything he can do to prevent future disasters. because of his luck cycle, it’s pretty understandable that komaeda would obsess over whatever the next bout of “bad luck” may be, but at the end of the day he isn’t in control of his luck cycle.

of course, the idea that horrible things are going to happen to him and the people he loves and there’s nothing he can do about it is… well, hopeless, to put it mildly, so i find it very likely that komaeda, on some level, chooses to place responsibility onto himself to make it easier to cope with. it’s sort of a survivor’s guilt thing— if bad things happen because he fails to stop them, then that means he can fix it. he’s able to stop them, he just has to do it right. THIS is where the obsessive-compulsive behavior comes in.

whenever something goes wrong around komaeda, he immediately blames himself. he apologizes over and over, insisting that Everything Is His Fault even if there’s no direct link between him and the scenario. interestingly enough, his distress seems amplified in mundane situations, rather than extreme ones. there’s several possible reasons for this, and it’s likely that multiple are true, but i think small mishaps freak him out more in part because they make him feel helpless. if he can’t stop something this simple from happening, how will he ever stop the really dangerous events?

komaeda’s fear manifests in several anxiety symptoms. avoidance, panic attacks, rumination, intrusive thoughts (<- big OCD symptom) and the like. i don’t think it’d at all be an exaggeration to include compulsive behavior in this list. of course, we start to leave the realm of analysis and enter the world of headcanon with this, but komaeda responding to his stressors with compulsions makes a lot of sense to me. they’re a way for him to feel like he’s in control, at least a little. i like to imagine the laughing he often does in times of distress is compulsive— he Has to laugh, otherwise he’ll be scared Forever, and everyone will hate him, he Needs to laugh, to try to lighten the mood, etc etc. i could see him compulsively self-isolating, too. it wouldn’t surprise me if he limited the time he spends around others to a certain number of minutes, or something along those lines. there’s lots of little things he does in canon that could easily be interpreted as compulsions, and it isn’t hard to start adding your own to the mix, either.

i think you could also make a pretty strong argument for komaeda experiencing some form of moral OCD as well. he clearly views himself as inherently lesser in every way, including his thought process. he regularly dismisses his own thoughts because he sees them as worthless. i think it would make a lot of sense if he struggles with intrusive thoughts and views them as "proof" of this concept. not to mention, every time komaeda is in a tense environment, he assumes it is his fault. "did i say something wrong again?" is one of his go-to phrases. of course, this is due in part to his social struggles tied to his FTD-- his frontal lobe is deteriorating, so his impulse control and inhibitions are lowered. it makes sense that someone aware of this would be worried about saying the wrong thing. but komaeda is ALWAYS worried about saying the wrong thing, to the point of assuming it is always his fault if a social situation turns awkward, even if he wasn't to blame. it's easy to imagine this fear reaching the level of obsession-- there's always the risk of saying something Wrong, something Bad, and once he does everyone will hate him, because they'll know that he is Wrong, he is Bad, and nobody will ever love or accept him because He Won't Deserve It. the compulsions he relies on to cope with this obsessive fear are laced all throughout his speech patterns. it's his constant, unrelenting negative self-talk, downplaying of his strengths, and immediate dismissal of his own ideas. if he presents himself as Wrong and Bad, then the people around him won't forget it, and they won't be as upset with him for being Wrong and Bad because it's what they expect. of course, komaeda does generally try to get along with his classmates, especially in the prologue/chapter 1, but even then he speaks poorly of himself and downplays himself. i imagine he's more intense about it post-chapter 1 because of how people responded to him. his initial disclaimers Weren't Enough, so now he Has to add More so that people Know, because if they don't Know they might Like him and then they'll Stay and get Hurt and it'll be His Fault, and if he doesn't at least warn people that he is Wrong and Bad then he'll be even worse.

plus, of course, there's the hypothesis that FTD and OCD are actually connected. compulsive behavior shows up as an early symptom of behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia (the variant that i most strongly associate with him due to his several behavioral symptoms and struggles), and while it's not yet clear if this is related to OCD or an impulse-control disorder, i think when combined with komaeda's prevalent and unrelenting anxiety he could definitely hit the diagnostic markers. personally, i tend to imagine he began experiencing OCD symptoms at a young age due to his trauma, but this potential connection could be considered the "cause" of his OCD symptoms or an amplifier of a pre-existing disorder. maybe he was predisposed and the FTD triggered it! who's to say? it's hard to know for sure because we don't see much of komaeda's childhood beyond stories he tells, so we don't know how long he's been this way.

at the end of the day, komaeda doesn't canonically have OCD, so there will be no definitive "proof" of it. plus, i'm of the belief that headcanons don't always need to 100% line up with canon. rule of fun. not to mention, psychiatry is not an objective science at all, and is more about using words to identify groups of symptoms/perceptions. a diagnosis is not a concrete thing. ALL THAT SAID, i like looking into why i have certain opinions and komaeda having/not having ocd is a particularly fun one to explore. i'd like to remind everyone that this is a lighthearted post and i am not trying to say that anyone HAS to have this headcanon, nor do i want to encourage anyone to be negative to those who don't. i just like having these discussions :) ok that's all peace and love on planet komaeda

[radiance1]

Vlad opens up a bottle of wine, filling one glass and handing it to John Constantine "Do you know why I called you here today, Mr. Constantine?"

John takes the glass, eyeing the very expensive wine that he's wanted to try but couldn't get his hand on before today. "Because I accidently send you a booty call, perhaps? Or because I stole one of your company's magical items." Constantine shrugged and took a sip. "Either or, really."

Vlad brought his glass up to his lips, before pausing. "Accidently?"

Constantine blinks, then took another sip before shrugging. "I mean, it doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be."

Vlad resumes taking a sip, swallowed and placed down his glass. "I will admit, I was not expecting you to admit to stealing from me, but I am willing to... overlook, said slight against me."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

Vlad smiled.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

[liz-graham-whitly-gutterson]

https://ko-fi.com/lizgg

Gacha OCs and Character Creation commission is here!

I post on YT regular with the name Liz_GG( username is the same as this one just without the Whitly)

Here are a few of my current ones- pls see YouTube for awesome videos to Saint Bernard for kunikida, let it lie for player and Carmen Sandeigo, and way more!

[folklorebyswift]

wait so helena’s been cheating on javier for weeks and mr side piece is being messy as hell posting the proof? this is like the best day of my life

[destinedofficial]

new aa au by me just dropped, Gamblerette AU!!! :3

(for all dem krisnix and toxic yaoi lovers out there, sorry if text is hard to read)

[wrylu]

boy look at this tweet boy I don't know if Twitters back yet so I'm sending it via asks instead of @'ing you

https://x.com/0rthoptera/status/1925595299323498681

MOTHS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These made me really happy thank you .... Moths are so belvoed to me !!! Little cuties!!!!!

[badkarma1998]

The thing about the hyperfixation, is that you will have the thought "hey I'd better stop talking about this before it gets annoying" and then immediately someone will mention the hyperfixation and you will need to talk about it

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

All the stock images of the 10th Doctor are. Silly. Like geniune white-backdrop, doing some random pose or expression stock images. Like not "this is the picture png stock image that gets slapped on his wiki and other places" but like the if you Google "stock images of people" it's just that. Except him.

[memchiix]

Welp

He’s like completely taken over my brain

Im losing it

[aheathen-conceivably]

not an ask! just wanted to say that your story is lovely and one of the most beautifully captured and told i have ever seen! the way you depict and write your characters just brings them to life and i can't wait to see each and every post that comes from you <3

Just, ahem, excuse me while I crumple into a tiny little ball and cry in happiness…

This ~especially~ hits because your Hayes were one of the stories that inspired me to start this lil blog way back when I did so I am just 😩

But whew, all my tears dried (maybe? not really…) thank you so very much. I sometimes think maybe I’ve gone a touch too far in turning everyone into an emotional wreck but hey, look at me, what would you expect? 😅

[ljubimaya]

Not me sending Mimi eight screenshots of my unfinished draft before going to bed - as per usual

[mirai-desu]

sometimes I need to remind myself that the best place to be mentally ill about a fictional character is right here on the hellsite for the people who are mentally ill about the fictional characters

[fabdante]

For the Spotify wrapped 1-100 ask: 2, 8, 39, 44, 99! :D

spotify wrapped is HERE! send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist

2) Sleep Patterns by Merchant Ships! Congratulations you won!

8) Earth Death by Baths (this is an EXCELLENT vergil song)

39) Flashlight by the Front Bottoms

44) Maps by the Front Bottoms

99) The Ex by Billy Talent (sasha and august type of song)

[duskandcloudy]

☁ about ☁

✦ Dusky | bodily early 20s, filipino | they/it ✦ collectively AuDHD nonbinary, loveless aro, ace, and apl-spec <2

this blog is mainly managed by Ascel (it/xey/ve) !

o/ ! hi hello, welcome howdy !!

We're a pdid system going by Dusk&Cloudy (⚫☁ ) - although we're also cool with being referred to as just Dusky ! :)

mainly making this blog to get more comfortable with and casually explore our own experiences as a pdid system- and maybe find more folks to relate to !

will be switching loosely and inconsistently between we/I pronouns, and most posts written will likely include Ascel or [o]- who are frequent co-hosts.

those who choose to use sign-offs will be marked with either an emote or by name, and will be tagged/added to this post when necessary o7

all posts made- including asks, will be tagged with #⚫☁ post !

[ Blog Notifications Dashboard ]

!! check out our cool system mutuals ! -> @/the-council-system-did <2

~ ☁ ~

PDID Resources / Cool Blogs

@/pdid-culture-is

@/pdid-positivity

@/pdid-safe-space

Partial DID Carrd

Fact Sheet IV: What are the Dissociative Disorders?

Partial DID Infographic

TraumaDissociation

ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics

Differences between Partial DID and OSDD

all systems, plurals, multiples etc are welcome here- especially those who do not participate in active harassment towards others or spread misinformation :)

we wish for this blog to be a safe space for interaction, and hope to help promote recovery resources alongside researched education.

[dullahandyke]

they put bugs in him

____

Cheers polly you're a real one <3 anyway initially when I started my bugs in him, it was because the line was humorous. I found it funny, and thus I shared it. Then, I no longer found it funny, but instead appreciated the cadence of the piece; the short snippet of music rising and falling, the pauses between words, the abrupt end. It was melodic to me. Now, it has ascended beyond even that. The bugs in him has lost its meaning, and is instead simply a fixture of my life. It's a home, it's nostalgic, it's comforting to swipe to quick reblog on mobile. Your honour I was simply stimming. So happy that u guys can share in the joy with me x

[ID: two asks in my inbox. The first, from @effervescentleaf, reads, "Hiii my dear friend Eimear I love you <3 If a pipe bomb comes in the post it wasn't me." The second, from @johngreenleafwhitter, reads, "Please stop the They Put Bugs In Him... I beg... /LH."]

[altruistic-meme]

WIP FILE GAME

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.

nobody tagged me in this but with the large influx of capri fics in my head i want to do it anyway :) for the sake of my sanity, im only naming the wips that I haven't started posting yet

Erik re-lives AU (young royals)

i see you, you see me (young royals)

Sunset Dreams and Sunrise Desires (young royals)

dare(d) to do it (young royals)

not supposed to know (young royals)

yr fic oops (young royals)

Go Low (all for the game)

laurent stabs damen (captive prince)

even under ashes (i've got glory) "a different brother falls at Marlas" inspired (captive prince)

Carpe Noctem (captive prince)

Time Travel AU (captive prince)

based on "monster" by ahawn mendes and justin beiber

"women be fantasizing about waltzing in an ancient castle under the starlight" fuck yeah i do (captive prince)

Disappearing :D (captive prince)

i also have no chance of tagging 14 people and also i need to go to sleep so i am going to leave this as an open tag <3 do it!! it's kinda fun just to see what wips you have!!!