#applied to very few ppl

[britney-rosberg06]

it’s become increasingly clear to me that this site wouldn’t last two hours at a texas high school on mums and garters day

[daz4i]

listening to hsr theories is always like. this theorizer either knows hsr's lore but brings up details from judaism which aren't true, or this theorizer knows their jewish lore but forgot so much abt hsr's world that could debunk their theory. many such cases

[chrisrin]

Homestuck please Homestuck please Homestuck please HOMESTUCK PLEASE I BEGGG

hi mate newsflash, you can mute/block tags!

if you're uninterested in the mcyt/su/gemcyt stuff, feel free to mute those tags so you don't see it.

this is my blog, i do whatever the fuck i want and draw whatever i want. if you're not interested, you can unfollow! you're not entitled to anything!

[sanchoyo]

its been almost 2 weeks since my job has given me like. ANY work to do!! this is the longest stretch ive had with no work since starting with them like 2 years ago and they didnt respond to my email yet abt it that I sent a few days ago (: this is Fine! aaaa

[unproduciblesmackdown]

skinamarble hornets, i was like i hope my favorite skinamascene has been uplomarinked on youtube....reminds me of that season one marble hornets entry that's the First House Visit and how i saw it described somewhere as like "absolutely nothing happens, & it's terrifying" & it reminds me of the torment of watching as the series was released & Every Time something came out, no matter what happened in like setting, atmosphere, plot, scares, there'd be someone going "ugh another Nothing entry" over the most crucial &/or enjoyable shit so long as it didn't feature [& he's cookin hot dogs on the stove???] & didn't feature it like every other minute for good measure. as though a format that is predictable, like the promise of the same kind of scene in the same intervals of timing, would actually be scary or at all interesting. shoutout to these the entries, or even intervals of time within entries, where "absolutely nothing happens" and it's called suspense in knowing it Could, tension in an unsafe, uneasy, unsettling situation in the meantime, & then also potential followup recontextualization that only creates more tension for later similar material. ("absolutely nothing" happens (of course, actually, things happen, but) in the skinamarink scene save for the literal last few seconds when the "jumpscare" is a very brief change in audio & visuals which is neither actually that loud nor like showing anything scary(tm) (technically a la marble hornets i think people say you can like see an arm extend for a nanosecond but i never catch it if so lol) but rather hits at all because of 8 minutes of suspense & tension & Nothing Happening But It Could) (also bravely standing up like "it's fine that skinamarink has some jumpscares, including the obvious few even jumpier than this" like who cares if it's "easy" necessarily & also that Knowing such startlement can happen ramps up the tension even when it didn't, but it could've. like so)

[phagodyke]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[whalehouse1]

When you want to block a character’s tag but know you’ll end up filtering out like 95% of unrelated characters’ tags because they’re one of those that get tagged to have it seen more.

[giddyfatherchris]

📝 skz reaction - you fall asleep on their laps

pairing. ot8!skz x gn!reader (individually)

type. fluff fluff fluffff

warnings. gender neutral reader, curse words (thats how i show my enthusiasm okay)

a/n. as someone who falls asleep anywhere and loves to sleep with people around me, i need to have a nap on each of them thank you.

a/n 2. yes the members order is reversed… thats just how inspiration struck and i couldn’t be bothered to change it SUE ME🫥

(pictures are not mine. credit to the owner!)

(divider credit!)

jeongin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he would maybe be a lil annoyed at first thinking you're not moving because you want to annoy him. until he realizes that no no you're just extenuated and literally fell asleep on him which would suprise him sooo much. poor baby wouldn't know what to do with himself. he probably woudn't dare to move and would be tensed as all hell. although, slowly, he'd relax and grow into it. once he gets over his fear of waking you up he'd be so so smitten with you, cooing at how adorable you are, to the point where that actually woke you up

seungmin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he would def be annoyed, going as far as trying to make you move away or scold you to go to bed. it's not that he doesn't like it, but he's uncomfortable and can’t understand why you’d want to cuddle him. once he asked why you didn't sleep somewhere else and you explained there was something about him that made you feel safe and at peace, that annoyance and awkwardness *poof* disappeared. he would let you sleep with your head comfortably laying on his lap while he practices a few songs and hums you to sleep aka best thing EVER. once you're fast asleep he would ask for someone to bring you a blanket and proceed to give a death stare to anyone who might make too much noise (euhm euhm binnie).

felix ⊹ ࣪ ˖ when you pouted and asked him to sleep on his lap he didn't even think before answering yes. being very comfortable with physical touch, our lil aussie boy would not mind at all. except he would not be prepared for how ADORABLE you look when you sleep. he would definitely take a thousand pictures of you (which he keeps in a special album in his phone). he would love to play in your hair or lightly massage your shoulders. and after that first time, whenever he sees you yawn a little too much he'd motion for you to lay on his lap. he is not ashamed to say one of his favorite thing to do is gaming while you're dozing off on his lap.

han ⊹ ࣪ ˖ first time it happened he was soooo scared to wake you up and wouldn't move at all. but that stopped very quick lmao, he would love when you fall asleep on him, even though he's not the best for it because he keeps moving and wiggling around. loves loves loves skinship, so he would constantly play with your hair, your clothes or poke your cheeks while you're trying to fall asleep. the only way to make this really work for both of you would be for him to watch his favorites animes while you're sleeping with your head on his shoulder.

hyunjin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he says he's not a fan of physical touch, but that does not apply to the ppl he's close with. including you. when you fall alseep on his lap he's an absolute cuddle master. he would put his sweater on you when you shiver and coo whenever you make a little grumbling noise. he'd love to draw little sketches of you while you're asleep or take pictures, which most likely wake you up and make you move away and makes him whine like a baby. he's honestly kind of annoying to fall asleep on, but whenever you'd move away he would for sure bring you back on his lap with a promise to stop bothering you this time.

changbin ⊹ ࣪ ˖ despite the fact that he has the attention span of a squirrel and that he's one loud motherfucker, whenever you fall alseep on his lap he turns into a statue. this man will not move or say a thing. he'd love how innocent and relaxed you look when you're sleeping and would be ready to annihilate anyone who may interupt that. the boys would definitely try to taunt him with food to get him to move but he'd categorically refuse to bother your peaceful naps. when they inevitably bring that fact to your attention he'd become all shy and he mumble about how it's not his fault you look so precious when you sleep.

minho ⊹ ࣪ ˖ mister minho would act annoyed for half a second before he pulls you closer and play mindlessly with strands of your hair. there is legit no space between the two of you and that's how he likes it okay >:( he would give dirty looks to the boys whenever they tried taunting him about how soft he is with you. most of the time he falls alseep too, his hands resting on your hips while the boys take pictures of the pair of you. when they show them to you guys afterwards he says nothing but has a small shy smile and you can bet your ass he will have one of those pictures as his background.

bangchan ⊹ ࣪ ˖ he would fucking love when you fall asleep on his lap. it's no secret channie is one caring little fucker and he loves to care for/protect the people he loves. the first time you would settle your head on his lap to relax he'd try to play it cool as if it was no big deal, but when he'd realize you actually fell asleep his heart would be seconds away from fricking exploding. you'd look so cute and cozy and keep wiggling to be closer to him. it would definitly make his lil soft heart flutter and he would make funny faces, incapable of containing the effect you have on him (which the boys love to make fun of him for). after the first time, he'd declare himself your official nap spot and it would not be negotiable or else he’d pout and whine until you finally come to him.

[bunnwich]

Same anon about the Leona bf Hcs....I'm also curious, do you have any ICKS when it comes to how people portray Leona romantically? plspls, I wanna get controversial.

My Leona Boyfriend HC Icks

(This is subjective, but you asked! Idk why I wanted to answer this ask before your other one… I guess I felt some type of way. It's a bit more ranty/bitchy so be forewarned. I’ve been in the fandom since the ENG release, so I've seen a lot of stuff that personally icks me. Dw I’ll get to your other ask!!)

Btw, I know some ppl won't like some of these opinions, but it's just my personal preferences at the end of the day! Friendly reminder: I am not the authority on Leona Kingscholar nor do I claim to be!!!

STINKY (But not metaphorically)

Why? He is an athlete and a prince? All the athletes I know bathe MORE than other ppl bc they get sweaty.  Besides…we all have bad hygiene when we aren't doing well mentally? So, this HC at best is just gross, and at WORST is offensive.  Also, just a question for ppl who do STILL this: Why would you WANT him to stink??? I never understood this mindset, even if he WAS that lazy. I simply wouldn’t wanna HC that he stinks. I love myself. GFBHNJM (Idia seems to get this stinky boy treatment too WHYY??? Sorry, I choose to believe my man smells good.)

HERBIVORE. (The H-Word)

I think where people lose me fast in Leona fics is hitting me over the head with the word “herbivore.” Honestly…he doesn't use the word as much as people think?? And I don’t think he would call his S/O at all. I find it mean? Because of the Japanese context of this word, and just the literal meaning. I think of it as more akin to the word “whimp” or “weakling.” It's not…cute to me? He doesn’t even use it for the MC later in the game as much. So, unless you're a lion beastman or fellow carnivore, I’d expect prey nicknames. Kitten, mouse, bird, bunny, etc. He even likens the MC to a “kitten” in a few voicelines. Just makes more sense to me, idk. Think of the silly nicknames he has for the canon cast. That or you know…he’d just use your name.

BRUTE BOYFRIEND

He's rude, sure. But no…Leona is NOT beating anyone up for looking/flirting with you. Would he be annoyed, maybe even secretly furious? Sure. But, he's not a “brute strength" kinda guy who uses his fists. (It’s almost like it's his main battle line!) If someone truly hurt you or did something off-color, he’d probably send someone else to do the dirty work to intimidate or deal with them.  In a real fight, OFC he'd defend you, but fighting cause some guy winked at you? NO. I don’t personally believe so. He’s a grown man with high intelligence, so I think high school like beef would be a bit beneath him?? At least he'd have one of his goons go do it.

ALOOF BOYFRIEND

I think where a lot of ppl lose me is the “aloof/stoic” bf thing.  No doubt he would keep his distance at the first instance of catching feelings because he doesn't wanna be hurt. At first, he’s only batting at you to gauge how you feel for him. But if he becomes seriously interested, and then you begin dating, I just don’t believe he would care what other people think. Or try to downplay your relationship. He’d wait for you to make the first real move, sure…but YOU’D KNOW. I just think about how he acted toward Sally in the last Halloween event and how he was almost “uncharacteristically” sweet to her. I think because Leona isn't super close to anyone in NRC—beyond a few of his frosh or respect-based relationships (like he has with Vil), we don’t see this side of him often, and so it comes as a shock.  Without spoiling anything, let’s just say…he was VERY unbothered at everyone's reaction to his soft side. He was focused on Sally and being nice to her. And if we apply this to “bf status Leona,” I think he’d be too focused on YOU to worry about what other ppl think of him. I’ve been preaching for years that this part of him always existed, and that now he just chooses who sees it. He saves his softness for very specific people he deems worthy of his time. Period. You’ll have to play a bit of a game to get on his good side, but like the motto of Savanaclaw: PERSISTENTLY proving to Leona that you care for him despite his flaws, he’ll come around. And when you're together, well- (I'll save that for the other ask) Especially if you are in an established relationship. He clearly thinks the world of you. He doesn’t have many close relationships, so you think he’s wasting his time with someone he wouldn’t even bother to be nice to??? Besides, Leona later in the main story becomes quite self-aware of his inability to reach out to others, despite craving affection desperately. He knows it's his blind spot, SO he's putting effort into being a good bf to you!

HE'S 20 (45)

To further my above point, I think people forget he is a few years older than even the other 3 years, and…was raised by an old man? I think when ppl write him with low emotional maturity...it loses me. I get it, he's a brat. And often he CHOOSES to act like a petulant prince when it suits him. But, I think deep down esp in more serious situations, we’ve seen that he's wise, calm, and level-headed. Just some nuance, please.

“USING YOU AS A PILLOW”

Napping/cuddling together is no doubt one of the nicest things you can do with a partner. And I’ve even implemented this kinda thing in my writing. HOWEVER, there is a certain flavor of this I dislike. Esp when it’s “forced” on the reader/OC. Sometimes I find this is ALL ppl write about him in those HC posts, esp ones that aren’t Leona focused. That or “Leona dragging you off to be his pillow.”  (A bit of my life is taken every time I read this sentence now…) I know there are new folks coming into the fandom who may repeat old tropes, and that's fine! But, I STILL see this from people who have been here for yearssssssss. It's just cliche to me. I do believe he's a cuddly guy, EXTREMELY SO. It's just that specific phrase that icks me. Maybe it’s the implication that he does it against your will and is aggressive about it?? Just, no thanks.

"I CAN FIX HIM”

Okay maybe now we’re getting into the more controversial ones?? I think the idea of “tru wuv” fixing someone’s flaws is just unappealing as a concept to me and completely against what I think love is about. The “dragging him to class”, “making him dress up more,” or “forcing him to get along with his family” is not something I think he’d put up with. He’s grown, he's extremely stubborn, he knows he’s failing school. He doesn't need another person to nag him! Ruggie already does that! Plus, family relations are complicated. Idk…if someone I started dating tried to get me to talk with a family member who I felt genuinely hurt/neglected me, I’d be annoyed af??   I think he would find it all patronizing coming from a romantic partner. It's one thing if he chooses to be better himself or for his mental health to improve gradually, but forcing things on him and “nagging” him constantly about his behavior at school and at home is just what his family does so- He's flawed, VERY MUCH SO. But, I think when it comes to relationships…everyone has flaws they deal with easier in a partner than others. Like you can maybe deal better with someone being socially awkward, but can't stand your S/O having a messy room. Like if your “hard nos” are lazy people, your S/O dressing “sloppy,” or someone who can be petty and rude to others- Well, you get my point.  It's like....if you hate playing video games and wanna ship with Idia. My question is why?? I’m genuinely curious why you even like this character in the first place?? Hot take, (I guess) this is the reason I don't really ship LeoVil. It just rubs me the wrong way how it turns Leona into a “fix me” project thing. And not to mention how Vil talks to Leona canonically in a demeaning way. (I love you Vil, but you’re wrong.) Leona needs a kick in the ass for sure, all the twst boys do, but personally when a fic/ship leans too heavy on the dynamic of “I can fix/change him” it turns me off. As someone who's been in a long-term relationship… if your day-to-day lifestyles don’t align when living together…ya’ll are gonna be at each other's throats over the small stuff. That’s just how it works irl. And...I understand if everyone doesn't want to apply this logic to fictional ships.  I just personally am not fond of this dynamic. And with Leona being a beastman AND a POC, it often feels like a loaded trope to apply to him.

DISPOSABLE LION BOYFRIEND

Last one! (Maybe most controversial idk) I just think Leona is not good at being a romance rival, (assuming we're not talking about poly situation) despite him being competitive. While ofc I think it's possible for an MC or OC to have multiple crushes and things, I think Leona is someone who wouldn’t handle this well? Like, if Leona feels like he’s gotta compete for scraps of your attention, at a certain point...I'd think he’d just give up, or at least give you your space to come to him. He’s had to compete for attention his whole life, and I feel like he's too emotionally mature and ego-driven to put up with these kinds of games for too long? I DO think it's interesting to explore the dynamic of having multiple love interests!! I even do it for a lil drama! But…in gen I don’t prefer when it feels like Leona is just there to be the "the disposable love interest" considering all of his insecurities of being second. Honestly, in that case, I can see him giving an ultimatum? He's a grown man among...mostly teens, I PERSONALLY just can't see him being a love rival with a child. FGHJK

Anyways, I could go one. that's all I can think of for now!

AGAIN I WANNA STRESS THAT THESE ARE MY ICKS. And if you don’t agree or do any of these, that's okay! Everyone can play dolls how they choose, I’m not the HC or character police. ✌️✌️✌️

[drdemonprince]

(aromantic anon) i actually can relate to the "bestie who stops answering your calls as much when they have a boyfriend" too! which is also one of the reasons it took a while for me to start id'ing as aro. the difference for me is that it isnt a boyfriend/partner (although, i thought it was at first), i just really like making new friends, and often getting a new friend (or just, randomly with old friends) i get a sort of mini "honey moon phase", usually for abt a month-ish, where i get a little obsessed w that one friend and accidentally put my other friendships to the side. it got a lot easier to manage once i realized that it passes, and that it didnt mean i had to date the person, bcz if i did they almost certainly would've been disappointed when they become someone who i end up not actually wanting to spend any more time with than i do with my other friends. someone else described it as "having a person as a special interest", which i also relate to! i dont tend to call most of my interest special interests just bcz very few of them tend to last years, its just short bursts of obsessions. but the exact same thing happens when i get a new interest, or have random bouts of intensity with an older interest that usually also last abt a month where i just completely forget to socialize w anyone for a while bcz im too busy being obsessed with something. the new friend/new interest also often coincide, as ill get into a new interest or get re-into an old interest, and meet someone also into that and dont want to talk to anyone else or about anything else for that month, before i inevitably and often really suddenly move onto to something/someone else. feelings of infatuation/love and even arousal are very often built into how i feel about the person and the interest during this time, which is why it was pretty easy for me to mistake for romance bcz it took a while for me to realize that it would level out into regular friendship pretty much every single time, and i would suddenly feel upset and suffocated abt being in that position where this person wanted to continue spending the same amnt of time with me that we were spending before.

this is all super interesting! And it tracks with the thesis many ppl have that "favorite persons" in BPD/Autism/etc are really special interests applied to individuals. I think it's also an attachment-regulation thing, and a way of managing close relationships when those things are difficult for us, but like, yeah! it's neat!

[kkangje]

I see your silence — Bakugou x deaf!reader

SYNOPSIS ;

Bakugou Katsuki was - is, loud. His voice could be very well be distinguished in every corner he’s in. The only voice you could never miss, the only voice you’d never want to miss.

Seasons will change, leaves will fall — but the heart will wander, in every place until it settles rightfully. Lucky for him, his heart found spring in yours, as winter in his.

Pairing : Bakugou Katsuki xdeaf!reader

Status : ongoing — series — slow updates

Genre/warning : slowburn — (really slowburn like wtf) — a lot of cussing — reader has inferiority complex bcoz of her quirk — friends to best friends to close friends to kinda lovers — maybe an inaccurate depiction of deaf ppl? i tried my best but pls dont hesitate to correct me LOL — written on a whim.

You’ve seen more than you’ve heard.

You could have, should have, but you didn’t. Not when your quirk came with a huge catch. Barely being able to hear. A debt you’ve paid before you even knew what to pay — an eye for an eye.

But you’ve learned to be at peace with it. You had a quirk that could literally save people’s lives. You couldn’t be sad with it. Everyone — almost everyone expected you to go to Yūei. A powerful…helpful quirk along with above average grades? That would make-do as a typical middle ranged pro-no-show hero. You could almost hear (pun intended) how condescending Bakugou Katsuki’s tone was through your hearing aid.

Bakugou Katsuki was a weird one kid, a cocky, overly confident, bonafide blueprint of the symbol of peace. You knew all to well how loud he was based on the vibrations you’d get everytime he’d open his pipehole — and according to your friends, it was always about how he was the best candidate for the top spot.

Big shot, you supposed the first time you saw him. When highschool applications came in, nobody was shocked that he’d try to apply to Yūei aside from his minions. But to Izuku Midoriya? Yeah, consider that a comedic opportunity.

Izuku Midoriya was even worse than Katsuki Bakugou. A nitwit who dreamt too loud, too bright, you knew that he had no shot in the big league, he’d just end up disappointed. But of course, you’d never say that to him. Not when he was the only person to ever actually wanted to know about your quirk — beyond the fact that you couldn’t hear sounds, but see them.

When the teacher found out you were applying for another school besides Yūei, the classroom went silent. Your skin felt bare when you couldn’t feel the slight vibrations of their laughs and chatter, but you fiddled with your skin anyways.

“Really? I thought you’d do more than that.” The teacher sighed, and so did you. You oh so badly wanted to turn off your hearing aids, but that would be ignorant and probably a bit disrespectful.

“Ha?! Yūei would never accept her! Not like she’d be able to hear villains creeping up behind her pathetic self anyways!”

That was the last time you saw Bakugou.

You lined up for the train station, your hands practically freezing from the crisp of Japan’s weather. The neon-lit “delayed” plastered on the board taunted you, the train being late 20 minutes already. Apparently, a petty villain tried to push an old person off a moving train — stupid old woman, stupid villain.

You could feel the annoyed murmur of the people filling up the air. You sighed, knowing you’d get home later than usual. Among all the annoyed chatters from the crowd, one exasperated voice stood out. One that you knew too well.

“Might as well kill that damn geezer.”

There stood Bakugou Katsuki, in the flesh. His uniform — very clearly from Yūei was the first to catch your eyes. His maroon red scarf did a great job hiding his imminent frown, which seemed like a permanent scar on his face. His hair was the same, maybe a bit more lengthy than before but oh well, never was the type of person to stare too long at someone. He was a few feet besides you, a rush of people were walking to and from each point but it was hard to take your gaze off his golden hair.

Bakugou Katsuki could sense that someone was staring at him from top to bottom, he knew that same old feeling of someone gazing at him from pure admiration. So when he snapped his neck to your direction, no amount of skin-crippling explosion could ever prepare him for when he saw you.

You were definitely much more taller than before, hair was much more…longer or shorter? He wasn’t sure, you’d always had the same hairstyle back then. Your uniform looked typical, the earmuffs and jacket perfectly encasing your body. You’ve definitely changed, but your eyes still held the same look of curiosity and…something that he couldn’t pinpoint. He knew this feeling would come everytime someone scored two points higher than him, bested him in a game of Mario Kart, or even when he felt like he was always a step behind.

Envy? Was it? He didn’t even enough time before you approached him, staring at him from the side. “Nice to see you here too.” The first thing you mumbled.

His empty gape immediately transmuted into a frown. Ah, yes, there it is. You internally thought. “Its a train station dumbass. You’d see anyone here.” He mumbled, barely being audible enough for you to actually comprehend. But you still could read lips, and his expression was enough to tell you that he’d been waiting for the train as long as you have.

“I like your uniforms. Yūei has a nice sense of style.” He raised a brow at this, huffing and rolling his eyes. “Yeah.” His reply was short and stiff — expected of him. You knew what his weak point was, you bit your life to stifle a chuckle but from the way he looked at you, you knew that he saw through. “Hell you laughing at?!” His voice was loud enough to garner s fee attentions from the people around you, who rightfully so, stepped a few feet back from him.

“I heard Midoriya got into Yūei. Same course as you too.”

His expression faltered from a frown, to a face that could have been mistaken as a raging bull. Bingo. You were just as shocked as your neighborhood was when you found out through social media that he got into Yūei. Bakugou’s angry reaction picture definitely caught you off guard, never knew he was that petty. When Bakugou gave no response, you knew you had to probe further in. “Man, if he got in, does that mean he actually has a chance to beat you?”

He went red.

“HE HAS NO CHANCE! You actually think he could EVER stand in the same league as me? NO WAY! Get your pebbles out of your brain before I actually bash your head and do it myself!” You could feel the volume of his voice tickle at the nape of your neck, alongside the steam that might as well have been coming out of his ears. Your body shook from your extreme efforts to keep your laugh in, despite knowing that the people in the station definitely kept their distance from the two of you now.

“You’re so easy to set off, Bakugou.”

“Shut your damn mouth.” He threatened, but the threat felt light and almost like a taunt. “Talk to me after you actually got into a decent school.” He barked, supposedly a light jab — but you couldn’t feel but take it a bit too personal. Yūei was the dream, it was supposed to be your alma mater, the color and title on your diploma. You knew that with your quirk, it would be easy to make it to the top, to be like Icarus — except you wouldn’t fall, you’d shine with the sun. But you didn’t.

It felt wrong, so so so wrong that you were only deemed powerful because of what you lacked in. Your hearing being impaired, and your quirk felt like a consolation price. Almost like a blue ribbon, except that blue ribbon was a title for how most people treated you. You didn’t feel deserving of being an actual student of Yūei, you didn’t belong with people who could actual deal with citizens. You didn’t belong with people whom their strengths made them who they were, in contrast to you who was only known for being deaf.

Guilt nibbled down at your heart everytime someone would tell you that you’d make a great hero. Almost like they had to say it because…what else would you be? A crippled who’s going to be babied by everyone? You’d rather kill yourself. When you applied for Ketsubutsu Academy, the congratulations on the screen felt like an assurance. You wouldn’t be able to reach the top, but at least you could still be considered worthy enough to attend a school secondary only to Yūei. That was fine with you, it was fine.

Almost fine, that it didn’t settle right with Bakugou. With a quirk that could help millions of people, why wouldn’t you have applied at Yūei? He’d never admit it, but he couldn’t deny that you’d be a perfect fit in class 1-A. Even as a professional asshole — he knew that telling you that your potential was wasted was a bit harsh.

Your silence seemed like his joke actually went a bit too far, but he’d never try to fix that. I mean — was he wrong? You shook your head, biting at the insides of your cheek. “Don’t act so high and mighty because Yūei accepted you. Remember, that quirkless mutt is in the same classroom as you.” Your tone was laced with venom, which almost made it feel like you were somewhat being serious. Your eyes squinted at him for a second, before turning back to stare at the scene in front of you.

“He’s not quirkless.”

Your eyes widened by a fraction, brows lightly lifting before settling down. “What?” You incredulously laughed. “No way, forreal?”

“Ugh, do I have to repeat myself over and over again?! Being deaf doesn’t make you useless.”

You giggled, in which he couldn’t help but notice how your laugh seemed to scratch his brain in the right way. “Dude, shut up! No way he actually hid his quirk for years because of your loud ass.” You sneered at him, finding absolute entertainment with how he reacted. “I mean, can you even — how?!”

“SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH YOU EXTRA!” He held his hand out to you, noticing how he curled it so that he would seem like he was willing to strangle you. You continued to cackle, finding absolute fun in Midoriya’s current situation. “Man, I wish I could’ve seen your face! I-I mean, you’ve been friends with him for half of your damn life!” You chuckled in between, before composing yourself and coughing to let out the last few laughs. “How did you NOT know?”

“Shut. Your. Damn. Mouth. I’ll strangle the fuck out of you.” His tone was dangerously low, his eyes burning of pure fury and hatred. “I wish you were in Yūei. Just so I’d have an actual field day beating you into a pulp.” His threat meant to harm, almost for the comedic purpose and to actually keep the conversation going, but he kept bringing Yūei and you…up. It was almost as if he was trying to milk an answer out of you without seeming too invested. Maybe, or you’d become way more of an assumer than before. “Too bad, live with it.” You leaned your head closer to his, jabbing him at the sides with your elbow, retorting back, and silence followed in after that.

Rightfully so, the extreme quivering of the ground and the sound waves became overwhelming, a sign that the train had finally arrived. You whistled lowly, the train making a slow stop in front of you. “Well, theres our train. Let’s go?” You offered up, finally looking at him. “That’s YOUR train. Don’t get our address mixed up. That’s insulting.” He grumbled, his hands unconscious running through his hair. You shrugged, walking towards the train. He watched you walk, until you made an abrupt stop.

“You look … so much better in your winter uniform, by the way.” And with that, you immediately ran for the gates before it timely closed.

He could feel the burn creeping up at his neck, doing a better job than his scarf on heating him up. “The hell…?” He couldn’t miss how your eyes seemed to glisten more than usual before, how you talked more than usual, and treated him like an actual person — and not a ticking time bomb. (even if he was.) He felt his palms go sweaty, at the thought that you actually found him “attractive”, whatever “looking better” meant.

And yeah, while he would never admit that he did find you attractive in a way — a way where the longer he stared, your beauty became more appalling, or when you spoke with utmost articulation — where he actually felt like he was having a normal conversation with a friend.

Were you guys even friends?

And yeah, you’d never actually admit you found him quite cute, like a really really feral chihuahua — adorable but dangerous. You smiled in your seat, squeezing your backpack a little bit tighter at the thought. You’d never admit to him how you felt your heart melt a little when he actually treated you like an actual person — not a fragile mosaic glass who could break just by being stared at. It was the first time someone actually insulted you, not to be mean but because that was how they acted — because you were treated like someone.

Even as the scenery changed, your smile never faltered. Deep inside, you were slightly hoping that you’d see him again in the same station.

And even if he was denying it, he was hoping he’d see you again soon.

Even if it meant delaying the train by a few minutes or more.

@ 2025 kkangje ; the characters I write for are NOT mine. Refrain from stealing my work.

[sweetlittlefawntears]

soft puppy ♱

au : sent to me by a lovely request ,, basically ellie is oblivious to ur crush on her so she flirts w other ppl cuz she doesn’t think u like her n then … u get the gist but read n find out hehe …

cw : fem reader x ellie williams , ellie is a smoker , fingering , reader is described as having long hair , international lowercase ! there is smut in this one !! smut w a plot ! also pet names ! not proofread sorry forgive me .

wc : 2.7k ♡

౨ৎ you worked at a small local coffee shop, with around three other workers who you periodically saw throughout the week. you didn’t care much for working, but you did like the pay. you were also grateful that since it was a small local shop, you didn’t have a uniform.

౨ৎ you never took much mind about your coworkers, they were a distraction, and besides, you were too busy with your mind on school and other silly things. that was, until you saw her.

౨ৎ she had short auburn hair, that she ruffled out of the way of her face as she used her slender fingers to tie half of it up into a ponytail. she had a slender but muscular figure, and lots and lots of tattoos. did i mention the most dreamy emerald eyes ever? you were totally, unbelievably in love with this woman.

౨ৎ when she came over to you and told you she’d be working in the coffee shop, you almost passed out. you were so happy that you could barely mutter an “okay” before you turned around and busied yourself with making a coffee for some woman at the front.

౨ৎ during your break, you went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and fix your hair. you started at your cute striped blue and white sweater and denim shorts, both of which you had thrifted and were actually quite proud of. the coffee shop got super cold really easily, so you were still a bit chilly as you turned the shiny tap on the sink to wash your hands.

౨ৎ you looked down at your shoes and socks. some old white shoes with white frilly socks. you looked back up at the mirror before applying some chapstick, and then someone walked in. it was her! the girl from before.

౨ৎ “hey, sorry. don’t mean to interrupt.” she says as she washes her hands in the sink. “uh. no problem.” you say, as you grab your bag and walk out of the restroom.

౨ৎ a few weeks had passed since that moment. you always watched ellie from afar, but whenever she came close it was like you were a babbling incoherent ball of nerves. it was so horrible, because you had never felt this way with a crush you had ever had before her.

౨ৎ you tried your best to stay calm, but unfortunately for you, you couldn’t talk to the girl without blushing profusely at her stupid three word sentences. you knew it was dumb, really, how childish you were acting. “god, why am i being so crazy? just talk to her!” you told yourself mentally.

౨ৎ you looked around for ellie, who you unfortunately spotted right next to a who you recognized. she was an extremely attractive girl named dina who you had worked with for a few months before ellie showed up. ellie was clearly having a very in depth conversation with her , as she was chatting animatedly to dina. you saw them and it made your heart ache, as you wished you could talk that easily to ellie.

౨ৎ ellie leaned in towards dina to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear, and you felt your heart sink even more. “seriously, her?” you thought to yourself. sure, dina was pretty, but she could also be bitchy at point. you should know , you worked with her for almost a year. you tried to brush it off, but no matter how much you wanted, whenever ellie and dina talked it made you angry beyond belief. it was like nails on a chalkboard every time you overheard them talking.

౨ৎ you decide that it’s time to start getting close to ellie. you don’t want her to go off to some other girl without you ever even getting to meet her or see what goes on in that inevitably beautiful little mind of hers.

౨ৎ one night, after you and ellie are giving the task of closing up, you decide to make your move. you approach ellie as you and her walk out, and mutter a small “so, we haven’t really talked much even though we’ve been working together pretty long… seems about time we get to know each other, right?” you were so surprised how easily the words came off your tongue after about a month of just stuttering at her. you hear the words roll off your tongue like a stranger.

౨ৎ “hey, yeah. i’d love that.” ellie says as she pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. she lights the cigarette and puts it up to her mouth, taking a long inhale and exhaling the smoke, which floats away all pretty and swirly in the breeze. “sorry, did you want some?” ellie says , looking at you with that piercing gaze.

౨ৎ “oh, um, sure.” you weren’t a smoker by any means, but you weren’t exactly thinking in the situation. you inhaled the cigarette before exhaling and then coughing a bit. “god, that is nasty. how do you smoke that crap?” you say aloud before realizing . “haha, you know, i’m not sure. i just kinda… like it i guess.” she says as she exhales more gray whirls of smoke.

౨ৎ you couldn’t believe it. here you were, having an actual fucking conversation with this girl ellie .ellie williams. ellie sofuckinghot williams. you looked up at her . “so…i know we don’t know each other that well, but would you like to maybe go out sometime?” you say, smiling. again was that sensation that it wasn’t you talking. who was this new personality that inhabited your soul?

౨ৎ “oh, yeah! sure.” ellie says. she starts to walk to her car. “as friends, right? see you!” she says before hopping into her car, slamming the door and driving off. you stand there, mouth agape. what the fuck? that could not have been clearer that was a date. you stand there in disbelief before walking to your car and getting in. you mentally hit yourself in the head over and over. “cmon , seriously ellie? is she slow or something?” you think to yourself maybe she already has a girlfriend, but something told you she did not.

౨ৎ meanwhile, ellie mulls over the conversation in her bedroom, while polishing her guitar. “she didn’t mean like, a date right? no way. she couldn’t have…” she thinks to herself. “it’s better this way, that way i don’t actually think she likes me and make a fool out of myself. seriously…there’s no way that was a date right? i mean…just as friends…” she talks aloud to herself as her voice trails off. she sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose. “fuck…” she says aloud.

౨ৎ that night, for both of you, is filled with sighs from ellie and sobs from you into your pillow. goddamnit, if only the two of you could see!

౨ৎ the next day at work was a friday, and you decided to come in late. when you walk in, you see ellie. “fuck me.” you think to yourself. “of course she’s fucking here.” you work around her all day, not wanting to say another word to her.

౨ৎ ellie is completely oblivious to your upset feelings, and still thinks that there was no way a girl like you could want to ask a girl like her out on a date. there was just no way. she told herself that over and over throughout the entire day.

౨ৎ friday evening, you approach ellie, ready to give her a piece of your mind. “ellie, be truthful with me here. i don’t want to go out as just friends, so if that’s what you want, tell me. because i’m not looking at you as just a friend material.” ellie is shocked, in disbelief. “fuck, it was a date ?” she thinks to herself. “i- i just- it’s complicated a bit-” she stutters to you. “fine, ellie. i don’t have it in me to be rejected by you tonight. see you monday, i guess .” you start to walk away before you hear her voice call “wait!” you turn around as she says “come back, please..” you oblige, wanting to see what this will turn into.

౨ৎ she looks down at her beaten up converse. “how was i supposed to know that you like me…?” she says, still not able to meet your eyes. she wanted to blame you for this, because if she admitted to not knowing, it made her look like an idiot. “excuse me?” you say. “it was completely and blatantly obvious i had a crush on you. are you kidding me?” you say back. “okay, okay, listen. im sorry. just…can you please forgive me? i do like you. i want to get to know you better.” you blush as you look down at your hands . “yeah…i can.” you say. “let me take you home, please?” ellie says as she gestures to her car. this isn’t exactly how you’d imagined or even planned getting with ellie, but you wanted to see where this would go.

౨ৎ she holds the door open to the passenger seat for you and then gets in to drive you home. except, she definitely does not have any plan to take you back to your house. instead, she takes you back to her apartment. “do you maybe wanna… come in and hang out?” she rubs the back of her neck nervously. “yes…i do.” you say.

౨ৎ once you two are in her apartment, you look around at how she decorated the place. it’s very cozy, with posters and pictures all over the walls. it’s a new place, which looks very modern and nice. you feel safe there.

౨ৎ ellie puts a hand on the back of your neck before placing another one on the small of your back. “cmere, lemme kiss you?” before you could even respond, you find yourself in a passionate kiss as you grab the back of ellie’s neck, pulling her closer towards you. “needy already? alright, i can work with that.” she says, smiling at you.

౨ৎ soon you find yourself and ellie on the couch, with her on top of you, hands by each side of your head. ellie starts to slowly unbutton your shorts as you cup the side of her face, still leaning in towards the kiss. ellie slowly pulls the zipper from your shorts down. she looks at your underwear, white with hearts. if you had known that you would be doing this tonight, you would’ve worn something better. “cute…” she smiles to herself as she mutters under her breath. she slides your shorts down, still pursuing your lips in the steamy kiss.

౨ৎ her hands stroke down your abdomen as they end up at the waist of your underwear. “can i?” ellie asks, looking at you. “yes, please, do.” you say as you exhale heavily. ellie pulls your underwear and shorts down, tossing them to the side to worry about later. she looks down at you. “you’re really pretty, bun. you know that?” she says as she pulls you up a bit, changing positions so you are laying with your back to her chest as she places one firm hand on your waist.

౨ৎ her hand trails down, finding it’s way in between your legs. you feel her finger slide along your slick, before finding its way to the small bundle of nerves. she would never neglect your pearl. she traces small circles along the sensitive bud as she whispers into your ear . “shh, i got you. just relax.” she moves her finger slowly, and gently, which drives you insane. you let out small whimpers as she continues.

౨ৎ you softly grab her forearm as she moves her fingers further down. she quickly moves a finger inside you, feeling your gummy walls tighten beneath her. “ellieeee…” you moan out. “it’s okay, just tell me if it’s too much and i’ll stop.” she whispers into your ear. She moves her finger, hitting that spot in the back of you that made you moan out. without any warning she slides another finger inside you. she softly moves her fingers in and out, giving you just enough pressure and friction to feel amazing.

౨ৎ you whine softly as she continues to pound into you, going faster and rougher. she wanted to hear you beg and scream for it, but she didn’t know how much you could take . “cmon bun, lemme hear you.” she says as she moves her fingers outside of you again to tease your puffy clit. “ellie…please don’t stop.” you whimper, unable to say more. “that the best you got?” she says as she keeps trailing circles around your small bud. “thought i told you i wanted to hear you beg for it” you mutter something along the lines of begging, and that seemed to be good enough for ellie.

౨ৎ she moves her two fingers back inside you. she moves them into you for a few minutes while softly muttering praises into your ear . “you can cum whenever you want, pup .” she says, reaching up under your shirt to palm at your tit. you didn’t need her to say that twice, as it took only a few more seconds for you to finish all over her fingers.

౨ৎ she moves her fingers slowly as you cover her hand in milky white, she doesn’t waste a second bringing her fingers up to her mouth so she can taste you. she whispers in your ear. “you were so good for me…” she grabs your own panties from the couch and slides them back on you, muttering apologies as you winced from still being sensitive. “do you want to spend the night here?” she whispers softly to you. “yes…” you trail off.

౨ৎ she helps you get into bed, bringing you some water and then giving you one of her band tees to sleep in. You feel her come up behind you in her bed, wrapping her arms around your waist. she kisses the back of your neck before saying, “i hope we can do this again.” you mutter something like a goodnight to her, and then you’re out. It had been such a long day that you didn’t have any energy left in you.

౨ৎ the next day you wake up to ellie still sleeping next to you. “so, what are we gonna do today?” you ask her. “she gets up and smiles at you. “whatever you want, pretty girl.”

♡ OKAYYY that’s it for this fic i’m sorry it was better in my head n tbh like … this fic is lowkey really fucking bad um ,, i feel like i didn’t do as good of a job writing the smut as i wanted hopefully u guys like it ahahahahshsh ,,, i have some more ideas i think u guys will like better but i’m rushed to put out smut on this account to keep it growing ,, okay that’s it i love you all ! ♡

[femmehaljordan]

different anon - ive also seen that a lot of asian tim ppl m tend to also headcanon jason (big bad jason who is poor and violent etc etc) as latino.............. like buddy, got anything u'd like to share w the class? and of course damian is also the villain. if stephanie even appears (probably not) she's usually evil too because how daaare she treat timmy that way

!!!! Yeah!!!

And the thing is I have seen Latino Jason done well! And I know it’s popular with some Latino fans! You know who’s headcanoned as an ethnicity where it’s not popular with people who ARE that ethnicity? Fucking Tim Drake.

But yeah, they’re not hcing Jason as Latino for anything other than stereotypes. And like as much as I consume and enjoy Latino Jason, I do always go into a fic including it with an eyebrow raised ESPECIALLY WHEN TIM IS THERE.

AOUGHHHHH DAMIAN AND STEPH.

Damian is always sooooo awful to poor little Timmy. I’m sorry that is a traumatized ten year old who is learning that everything he was taught is inapplicable to where he is now living. I said this a bit ago in response to an anti Jason post but it absolutely applies here too. LASHING OUT IS A VERY COMMON TRAUMA RESPONSE. And they act like Tim didn’t fight back??? That bitch gave as good as he got I fear. And he never really seriously tried to kill him. It got physical a few times sure, but it was mostly just insults. I’m more concerned about the 10-year-old in a strange new country than the 17-year-old that thinks he’s the shit bffr.

As for Steph, yeah she’s either not there, a villain, or his dumb blonde best friend. Anytime Steph insults Damian seriously in one of those fics an angel loses its wings. That’s her little brother. I beg these people to pick up a comic from that era other than Red Robin. Flanderized, waffle obsessed, dumb blonde Steph is my enemy.

As awful as it is, are we really surprised? Tim stans being racist and sexist? I’m shocked. 

[bluescreenvirus]

chaos' apology for + addressment of everything.

i am posting this for him as he is not logged in anymore and does not wish to, but this is directly copy and pasted from him. i will be posting other VERY important statements and information to help clear a few things up, especially regarding the misinfo involving sugarydeceit. i've already cleared some of that up privately, but i want it to be public info so ppl can feel secure. it may take longer than others to post due to being busy, but please keep an eye out if you could:

...

"first and foremost: i am sorry. i'm going to get into specifics but i want to preface with a blanket "i'm sorry" first.

to start, i'm sorry to ridley and friends and the ventblogs for not handling things better. i've been doing... bad, to put it lightly, ever since the document dropped. i've been unpacking nearly 8 years of constant abuse every day, and i've started taking it out on others. i have noticeably gotten worse than i used to be. which is an unfortunate part of healing. and i regret forcing the resulting harshness of my pain onto others, especially some minors. it wasn't your guys' fault for the things that happened to me, you shouldn't have been subjected to my ire. it was wrong. so again i am sincerely sorry for that.

and no, forgiveness is not my goal, i don't want anyone to demand i be forgiven or for anyone to feel obligated to forgive me. i don't have any problem getting mad at people who think it's okay to harass other people in my honor- it's not okay. it's never okay. and i'm really sorry that people did that. i'm not sure exactly what was sent to people originally, it's really hard for me to see/find things with how many people have me blocked, so i'm sorry if that apology feels too vague. but i am specifically sorry that people tried to blame ridley for me wanting to kms. it... was because of that situation, yes, but i don't want to put that on a kid, and no one else should either. especially if you're not me. why are you accusing anyone if you're not me. it's not your place. stop it.

i'm also sorry for the situation that sparked all of this. i really did believe that the ventblogs had a major problem with acting impulsively and making situations worse than they needed to be, however, i did not express that opinion in a nice way. and in the process i made people feel like i didn't care about the hate/harassment they had recieved. so i'm sincerely sorry for that, too.

i'm also sorry for bringing up kitty genovese. it was NEVER my intention to trivialize a rape+murder, i had hoped that would be obvious, but i saw that it wasn't and became angrier instead of calmly explaining what i meant. i only referenced kitty genovese in regards to the bystander effect- i know many in this fandom are young, so it's possible people googled her and saw a rape+murder case and took what i said very wrong. which i understand. if you don't know, kitty genovese is the main example used in every study of something called "the bystander effect", that's why i brought up the case. i felt the bystander effect applied to what i was experiencing. but it would've been better to just say the bystander effect, rather than assume everyone knew who kitty genovese was and the studies that stemmed from her case. i'm sorry again for all of that.

now i just. want to try and explain some things, if i may? i know people don't particularly want to listen to me anymore, so if you want to just stop reading at the apology, feel free. that's why i've separated the two. if you do choose to stop reading what i have to say here, i wish you well.

it was never ever my intention to make ridley feel attacked/endangered by me. i was just really, really scared, when i saw that ridley was sharing sugarydeceits/sweetfuls/lopsys lies about me, and people were believing them.

sugarydeceit has been harassing my partner and i for months- over half a year, actually, and has a history of doxxing people and sharing their names publicly. it even took one of the people to court, lio convoy, who i don't like as a person obviously, but sugarydeceit did take him to court. you can even find the recording of it on youtube. sugarydeceit has threatened to do the same thing with me many times. i've been careful to hide my personal information but even then it's not a guarantee of my safety. so i freaked out, and tunnel-visioned, because i need to keep myself and my partner safe from sugarydeceit. and any support it gets emboldens it to send us threats of death, harm, and other horrible things. i already woke up to some anons from it today because of all of this. [pictured below] having support has made it brave again when i had just finally gotten it to back off again a few days ago because it was stupid enough to insult sugar's grief about his dying great grandfather.—

[anon hate as a result of the mention of sugary deceit pictured above, one even targeting chaos abuse from KC by saying "go cuddle your little sis." not blaming anyone of course, this is only the fault of those who sent these anons.]

—that's why i wanted the posts taken down, on top of the fact that the information was untrue/exaggerated, which i'm sure sugar addressed in this post already. the posts put me and sugar in danger, the posts got us harassed- like i knew they would. i felt powerless and miserable and i didn't know what to do anymore. i really was making plans on how to kill myself because i thought it was over for me. i wasn't going to survive if the whole fandom began supporting my stalker, so i was in... survival mode, i guess. in that moment i wished i was back in the zcp. and i still kind of feel like that. it was abuse, but at least i didn't know that it was. it was a comfortable kind of misery. maybe that's just some weird kind of stockholm syndrome, i don't know.

i never want to come back to this fandom. it's absolutely mortifying to have my 'friends' all outcast and hate me for nearly 8 years, only to find a place i thought was safe, and then have the same exact thing happen. i haven't felt safe here ever since i was harassed for saying i didn't have enough information to pick sides in the maxim vs ridley situation, and then maxim himself was horrible to me in a way i can't address publicly right now, and then all of this. just being here scares me. all of anticare scares me. that's why i told people to not interact or use my ocs anymore. i was scared and just wanted to be left alone. it wasn't a personal attack against anyone, or me trying to invalidate previous support, i just had too many bad experiences that traumatized me and triggered me. i'm never even going to be able to release my own statement about my abuse because i'm terrified of the fandom picking it apart to try and invalidate me, or using the personal nature of the content to send me crueler targetted harassment, or just not caring.

i do have some involvement in the doc. i provided them with a fair amount of information considering my past proximity to kc, and i was able to confirm/deny things they were unsure about. i was going to have a section about my abuse, but i pulled out of adding it. so please don't discredit the entire doc just because you hate me. there are real predators, and real extremely damning pieces of evidence, addressed within it. and some other victims still made the choice to include their stories. so if you care about the other victims you'll spread it and support it. please.

the only further 'involvement' i'm probably ever going to have is boosting the doc when it comes out and answering any questions about it though i doubt i'll get any and i don't think i want to put them in the tag if i do answer any. if anything questions should be directed toward the doc blog and if they need an answer from me they'll ask me and parrot what i say.

the support was nice while it lasted and i appreciate it. but i can't be here anymore. and i would appreciate it if people just stopped talking about me so i don't have to be terrified of being put in danger when i can't defend myself. but i can't demand anything. i just hope someone will listen.

and i have changed my mind to agree with aobasgirlfriend, another victim, who iirc felt as though this comic shouldn't have a fandom anymore. i understand that point of view now. i don't think it should have a fandom anymore either. too many people were hurt using it, me included. i think everyone left should move on and let it die. there's nothing good that will come from staying. nothing at all.

if there's anything i've forgotten to address or apologize for, you can send it to bluescreenvirus because i'm logging out for an undetermined amount of time.

goodbye." — chaosblasts

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, replacing my pinned post with latest update to our status quo....it might seem like things are never moving forward with us (certainly feels that way) but we're in a much better place than a year ago! We have secure, stable housing for the foreseeable longterm future, my ID situation is finished and dealt with, I have a steady, regular paycheck again, and basic health insurance FTW.

My current focus is paying off medical debt/rebuilding credit tanked when I spent every cent and bit of credit I had dealing with my jaw surgery and being unhoused for several years. I still have, well, no teeth, lmao, which is something I'd really like to fix because optimally I've still got a good chance at another forty years left in me and I would like to not spend all that time with ill-fitting dentures. I've never been able to not be aware of the taste of any of the different denture gums/sealants I've tried and its not super fun walking around tasting a constant awareness of that time you were gay-bashed and it blew up your life and led to longterm health complications fifteen years later that blew up your life a second time, even more thoroughly loooool. Why do I add lol there? Its not funny. Whimsy I guess. Idk I dont really get me.

POINT IS. Even if I eventually secure some better dental insurance down the road, there's no way I'm affording teeth implants without decent credit cards or loans in the future. And since jaw bone deteriorates when a tooth is absent and I have quite literally no teeth, the years since my jaw surgery mean I need mega bone grafts in my jaw before I can even think about implants, and the longer it takes to get there, the worse (and more expensive, and thus more unlikely to actually happen) it becomes.

So, as anyone who's lived below the poverty line knows, the only way to make goals like that happen is to prioritize them with every paycheck. So things like food, medication, etc, all come AFTER putting money towards "the big things," with whatever's left over. Which leaves basically zero buffer for anything else, especially the unexpected. I haven't bought a new item of clothing in over four years, etc. A few days ago we wasted a whole day just trying to find an extra freelance job online so we could get five bucks for a box of band-aids. Stuff like that.

Which is to say, five bucks here and there from people who enjoy my content when I actually AM around and would like me to be more often is hugely appreciated and makes a BIG difference, because it helps with all that "extra." For example, even just an extra $40 in a month can keep us fed for a week without having to dip into a paycheck and take money away from The Big Goals. $30 is enough to pay for my most important medication for the month. It takes me two train transfers and a bus to get to work and then the same back, but public transpo caps daily fares at $5.25, so even just an extra $21 takes care of getting me to and from work for a whole week.

A single $3 ko-fi or $5 donation might not sound like a lot to most ppl but for us it adds up quickly and just a handful of those can mean the difference between getting to apply a whole paycheck to where we NEED it to go vs it quickly getting whittled down to nothing and we end up right where we started.....or usually worse off, bc those unexpected expenses like boxes of band-aids or some Advil or little things like that add up quick too and we often start off the next month knowing we have to devote a whole paycheck to everything we couldn't get last month and we're a week in before we're even back at zero and able to start putting money back towards the Big Goals.

So if you ever see this post and think eh, what difference could $2 or $3 bucks make, please just know its VERY appreciated and makes a very big difference indeed. Sometimes an extra $3 means being able to spend a whole day off work ACTUALLY off of work instead of spending ten hours hustling to try and find and secure an extra freelance gig when literally the only thing we needed that day was an extra $3 for a box of pasta and some sauce.

My ko-fi link is here and paypal is here, and as always, anything and everything is really appreciated, even just reading this through and considering it, lol. Thanks guys!!

[thatneoncrisis]

god one thing I just didn’t understand. There’s like a THING in the text where you can assume people from certain houses have certain eye color or hair colors but somehow this doesn’t apply to race? Like this comes up a few times when it comes to describing harrow and Ortus as having the true dreaburgh black eyes and black hair but like does this preclude race or skin color or what?? Like Gideons Māori, the text makes a passing reference to her and harrows skin tone being similar, but she’s not supposed to ‘look ninth’ because her red hair is fantastically colorful and this inspires Silas to ask if she’s secretly third (WHAT does this imply. Redheads and blondes from the third? The third house is just white people house?). Like I think it’s hinting at some fantasy / sci-fi thing of people having bizarre hair and eye color (which they do cause Gideons hair is abnormal compared to other redheads like Gideon the first who is ostensibly a Polynesian man and the little kids in Nona who r white) but like it’s frustrating that it like sidesteps race I don’t get it. Also like tazmuir’s blogpost about ppl races and including stuff like harrow and gids and Camilla’s potentially being mixed race like what does this mean and why doesn’t this apply to other house heirs and necros does this mean there are certain houses with certain races like the fourth house having Chinese ppl like you said? Anyways. Thanks for bringing this up as always I didn’t rlly like the lukewarm and potentially obnoxious way this fandom dealt with race b4 and I still don’t after Nona

gonna go through this point by point under the cut bc i just kind of yap for a while all of this is pontification and me barehanded wrestling with watson and doyle

harrow makes a point of mentioning that ortus' eyes ARENT a true black. obviously on the mithereaum shes just looking at her own eyes and assumes theyre ortus' bc frankly its not like she spent a lot of time looking at the man with any actual scrutiny, but there are these two quotes

He had classical Ninth eyes: a tintless shade very close to true black, sharply ringed around the iris, very like her own

They were not true black, as she had usually thought: in the shadow she could finally see a deep earthy undertone, like the ploughed-up additive ground in the planter fields.

im gonna be a little mean here but taz really just loves going on about eye color to just fill space times. its not ALWAYS irrelevant but this is the exact same information given to us twice. almost black but not quite, and we know that harrows are just straight up black they say it a million times. we know that this isnt really Possible, basically everyone who says they have black eyes just have really deep brown eyes (like ortus) theres always SOME sort of shift in hue thatll give you brown in the mix, but the third is walking around with purple so real biology is right out the window

anyway i just said a lot of words to get to the point that ortus IS mixed. his mother is from the 8th, if we assume each house has a racial majority due to their seclusion, shes probably white. additionally, we have no word on what the other penitents of the ninth actually look like. we know harrow and gideon are "mixed" maori; we know johns maori, we assume wake is due to context with her name and facial features, its Presumed the reverend parents are maori, if one of them isnt the likely canidate is pelleamena BUT. we must remember

[Harrowhark] was named for her father , who was named for his mother , who was named for some unsmiling extramural penitent sworn into the silent marriage bed of the Locked Tomb. This had been common. Drearburh had never practiced Resurrection purity .

her unknown great grandparent Also was not born ninth. no clue where or what that means but at this point were getting into borderline blood quantum territory. the original point i was getting at is that the ninth often takes in pilgrims aka people from other houses aka making the gene pool more diverse. we have no clue what the ratio of pakeha to maori to anyone outside those two narrow categories are on a planet of like. what. 400 people. are there any black people on the ninth. are there any black people in that entire empire tamysn <--- i i genuinely dont care if black people are in these books i actually think judith or g1deons treatment is way worse if they had been black but its morbidly funny to me. john you did what 400 years of fucking with africa couldnt what the hell dude

gideon not Looking Ninth is always chalked up to her eyes and hair like you said. let us imagine a community comprised entirely of darkskinned black people. if they took in a baby, and that baby was inexplicably blond and blue eyed, while still being a darkskinned black baby, it would be Odd. however, due to the multiethinic nature of the ninth (much like the sixth, they can only go so long without taking in newbies before it gets incestuous lets be real), i am willing to believe that race/skintone isnt a factor for THEM specifically due to the ingrained culture. you just assume that anyone who looks different does not have bones on the ninth. so to speak. my shitty little metaphor about them not having ancestry there. so like, aiglemene could be fully white and it wouldnt be a problem.

now with gideon, as weve established the issue is with her eyes and hair. i will give them the eyes- while strange colors seem to be the norm, gold is just fucking unheard of. gold is what unquestionably proves her connection to alecto and alectos lyctoral connection to john. something being incredibly rare does not make it impossible, but this is just kind of batshit IF you have the context to appreciate why, which the lyctors do. harrow and her ilk do not. the bodys eyes were closed when she say it for the first time, and in htn she says this

He could not possibly know that in your youth her eyes had often been black, like yours were, but that ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow , as amber as the inside of an egg.

it is, frankly, unclear if her thinking the body had black eyes up until she became a lyctor is actually true or another rewrite- the body isnt JUST a halluciation, alecto is literally haunting her ass, o clue how gideons presence affects its physical manifestation BUT. lets all jsut say that until that point there is no way harrow could have pegged a conection between the body and gideon. to her gideons eyes are Weird but not like, an actual connection to literal divinity. as for gideons hair everyone is mad that she just doesnt shave it and thinks it looks stupid. it Is a weird ass shade of red (what do you MEAN a true red with no orange tamsyn what the fuck are you even SAYING) but gideon is just. weirdly saturated. everyone on the ninth is old and dusty and washed out, even if gideon and harrow are both brown harrow is still clearly. well to put it bluntly shes ashy as fuck.

i kind of hate that line in ntn about them being similar shades of brown. they straight the fuck up are not and i need the book to stop lying to me. you SAID gideon is darker, shes visibly darker on the cover

this is NOT. a lighting thing. and nona has been having harrows body out in broad daylight for months if anything this is the darkest harrows been in her life. gideon is darker these shades of brown are not the same and if you wanted that to be the case you should have communicated it better. and in what WAY is gideon lighter or is harrow darker than the covers imply. dont look at me

uuh im gonna be straight up the way taz describes people gives just. little regard to how thier race might influence how they look. what they LOOK like not just the impression we get from them. youll get lines about alectos "sweet dead face"

she knows if a character is like. brown and it begins and ends there. we know g1deon is Brown and has a creepy fucked up rawhide body hes like a walking flayed man. and we know hes darkskinned she sure mentions that alot. and thats it. we dont know what his face Looks like its just like. vibes. we know its serious and it gives an impression. we know harrow has a sharp pointed face with a shape thats closer to a triangular heart than an oval or diamond with a high brow. a "slanted a vicious little mouth" and a pointy nose. "Point chinned, narrow-jawed, ferrety person, with high hard cheekbones and a tall forehead. There was a little divot in her top lip at the philtrum, which gave a bowlike aspect to her otherwise hard and fearless mouth" we understand the actual individual elements of her face

and here comes my concession that this is unbalanced- not only is the one of the principle characters, one of the OTHER principle characters wants to fuck her so bad it makes her look stupid, so she is jsut canonically staring at harrow all the time and notices more things. even with someone like corona while there is an emphasis on her looks we dont get like. nose shape. any sort of physical arrangement of features its again just eye color and vibes. we know shes pretty but not what she LOOKS like. hell were still in debate on if shes fat or just like, kind of chubby/curvy. nona calls her big but the text has zero issue just telling you that, say, ortus is fat. but nobody wants to fuck ortus so its all. yknow. overall its a stylistic choice to eschew details for more like. more gothic sensibilities. but that leads us to

-that goddamn blog post

"of middle eastern extraction" haunts me. what on EARTH could that mean. what are they coptic? persian? kurdish? turkish? hell are they jewish? are they mixed? what does that MEAN. the book loves mentioning cams dead eyes and fuck ass bob but did we all just hallucinate her having a hooked nose. i mean i love it the nose suits her it looks good but i think we all straight up made that up. why is the sixth just inexplicably middle eastern. why was there no little footnote the way isaac got about being nz chinese- is he just kiwi or is he like mixed pasifika/chinese or pakeha/chinese or all three even? are pal and cam just like, culturally nz with zero relation from their ancestors? im vexed. and the fourth just being chinese is like. sure ok whatever. and then you remember that jeannemary is maori.

im jsut FASCINATED. its not that i dont think regions cant have ethnic diversity i dont care if Some people are white and some are samoan blah blah ect but i do want to know. how we got here. especially after 10000 years. it would have been so EASY for her to just say shit like "oh the third predominantly has people of northern european ancestry so theyre fairly lightskinned and taller than the average house citizen and tend to skew towards having x features (roman noses/hooded eyes/freckles, these are all just loose examples)" that like. satisfies the physical curiosity while leaving room for exceptions (babs is relatively short to aid him with using the rapier, and i assume not EVERYONE on the third is a freaky white guy).

i just think considering these elements as a living part of the world building rather than a set of half remembered traits could do a lot for immersion and just like, general thought put into it. it IS weird that harrow and gid are pegged as mixed like arent they all mixed at this point. youre telling me the majority of abigails lineage was pakeha. is that due to the population on the fifth? same question to magnus like what does it MEAN. its a very interesting question that was just never meant to be asked