#are your boundaries really being ignored or are you just not being catered to in a totally benign way

[macchiatosdumptruck]

i am reminded of the time i was told "boundaries are something you make in response to other people's actions that upset you. it is not expectations you can place on other people to control their actions. "

[shibaincubus]

How to stop being a doormat.-

-> . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [By a healed people pleaser] ࿐ྂ

Being nice to others is not a bad trait, but becoming THE NICE GIRL is.

Excessive people pleasing brings you nowhere and makes you vulnerable to becoming a doormat, disrespect, and sacrificing yourself.

People pleasing isn’t just about being nice to everyone all the time; it actually messes with your head and how you think about yourself deep down. 

We can look at people pleasing from an conscious and subconscious side.

Conscious People pleasing

This is what we typically associate with people pleasing:

You can't say no: Every request feels like an obligation.

You prioritize others over yourself: Your needs take a backseat.

You apologize for everything: Even when it’s unnecessary.

You avoid conflicts: Peace at any cost, right?

You make yourself small: Shrinking your presence to fit in.

Subconscious people pleasing

This is the impact people pleasing has on your mindset and behaviours

While breaking people pleasing one should focus here more

Servant mindset -> catering to others drains your energy.

Emulating others ->  You lose sight of who you truly are.

Seeking validation: "I need to be ... to get validation 'love' from others

Ignoring your feelings: Suppressing your emotions to keep the peace.

Feeling judged: Worrying about what others think of you.

Anxiousness about acceptance: "Do they really like me?"

The Why of People pleasing

The first step in breaking free is understanding why you engage in people pleasing.

Here are some common reasons:

You might be people pleasing because of...

Anxiety: fear of disappointing others or rejection

Low self esteem: "pleasing others is the only way to get acceptance and love"

Past trauma: can link others' needs to safety and affection

Cultural or family expectations: Pressure from those around you.

Perfectionism:  The need to be flawless in the eyes of others.

Insecurity: Doubting your own worthiness.

Avoidance of Conflict: Preferring peace over confrontation.

To get the exact cause you should also utilise journaling.

Use 15 min. for three or more of these journaling prompts each

Does People pleasing really help me? How do I feel when I please people? Happy or drained?

Do I get something back by pleasing people. Is it one sided?

What is my earliest memory of people pleasing? Why did I decide to please people at that time?

How do I perceive the people that I please in reality? Do I even like them.

What is the thing I really want in this situation that I might feel too scared, vulnerable, or ashamed to ask for?

What is one thing that I'm scared people will think of me, and how is this actually true and useful for me?

What do I want to change about my people pleasing habit

This reflection makes it clear why we do it and what caused people pleasing to be ingrained in us in the first place.

Recovering from People pleasing

Start small.-

Begin by setting boundaries in low stakes situations

declining invitations to events etc.

declining requests that you don't have time or desire to do

Gradually work yourself up to more significant situations practicing assertiveness along the way.

Learn to tolerate discomfort

Recognise that asserting yourself and setting boundaries may initially feel uncomfortable or cause anxiety

Embrace the discomfort as a sign of growth and remind yourself that it's necessary to prioritize your own well being.

Strengthen your sense of self

When we are people pleasing we are placing our self worth on another person

With journaling, self care, setting personal goals and new hobbies, you can construct and identity independent of others opinions.

The Intention Interrogation

Ask yourself a specific question before agreeing to a request:

"Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because I'm afraid of potential consequences?" 

This can delay automatic people pleasing reflexes

Cut toxic people off

If someone is using you for their gain, it’s time to create distance.

Limit your availability and emotional investment

Create space between yourself and toxic relationships

And Trust your instincts

The 24-Hour Rule

Make it a commitment to not immediately respond to requests.

Give yourself a full day and then decide if you actually want to do this.

Get therapy

If people pleasing has a deep impact socially or otherwise on you consider therapy

It's really helpful against people pleasing if nothing else helps

That's it lovelies

People pleasing is a destructive social mechanism of ours that we developed in young years.

Unfolding these behaviours and taking a stance against pleasing others frees ourself for positive change and levelling ourselves up

[kiame-sama]

(I'm about to write an essay, please feel free to ignore it)

Just binged your 'humans are extinct' TWST AU and. Wow. Where do I start? I've never seen something like this so fleshed out on this site? I've never seen such a long, serious series that treats all the characters with proper respect and stays pretty faithful to their canon personality and actions/reactions given what's been changed? I've never read long series on this site with the whole cast that has pretty much been fair with 'screen time' for each individual member? I've rarely seen something well though out and interconnecting with some seemingly trivial tidbits that turn into important details later on?

I absolutely adore what you wrote. I'm thankful you deigned to write down and share the story running through your brain for others to enjoy. The characters feel real and thee dimensional. The narrative is cohesive. The new additions don't feel out of place. The works.

Starting off with our MC. Poor girl! She's doing a lot better than I would have if I was in her place. Having to juggle almost 30 boys vying for her hand, plus a new adoptive child, plus poachers, PLUS being in an entirely new world where there's magic and she's the only human left with meltdowns happening almost every week and still staying (at least partially) sane and on goal? She has my respect. I love how she's not "a strong woman who don't need no man," nor is she "the poor damsel in distress who can't do anything on her own." She's in a bad situation: basically a sitting duck without the protection of the boys at NRC, and yeah, near the beginning, she kind of got dragged around like a doll. That makes sense though, and as she started getting familiar with the new world and her new guardians, she also started setting boundaries and enforcing them.

She won't let the boys walk all over her, but she's also generally respectful, kind, and pleasant to them as well. She's under no illusions and knows that even though they've got an unhealthy attachment to her, she still needs them to keep her safe. Beyond that though, even before she started absorbing blot and seeing memories, she was sensitive and able to see beyond their surface level flaws. I don't think she ever really thought Leona was a bad guy, even noting the dissonance between his threatening words and (sad? Resigned?) expression when first meeting him. She was willing to feed Ruggie regularly after finding out he was basically starving. She let Cater stay at Ramshackle and fought for him to get him back into the dorms at Heartslabyul even though she was still (rightfully) furious at him for basically putting her in potential danger for the rest of her stay in Twisted Wonderland because she felt his punishment was too severe given his crime.

That being said she also isn't one of those protagonists who forgive and forget all wrongs which is appreciated. She doesn't forgive murder attempts with a "Tee-hee it's alright anyone can change!" mentality. She also doesn't care much about those outside NRC if they don't first give her a reason to care about them. It makes her feel human.

I appreciate the way you wrote the conflicts as well. Most individuals here aren't one dimensional villains. They have reasons for doing what they do besides being a mustache twirling caricature written just to make MC suffer. Does it justify their actions? Ha! No. MC realizes this too, which I appreciate. If the current problem-child is a student, MC is good at helping them fix/find the root of their problem while still making sure they know their actions were out of line.

Moving on to the boys and the staff. Love them and their characterization. They're not perfect. They make mistakes. They're trying to get better. Character arcs and evolution. We love to see it. I mean this in the best way possible, but sometimes I read what a boy says or is about to do and just go "Bro .... Seriously?!" It's totally in line with their normal characterization, and the addictiveness of the human helps explain why they're going to certain extremes, but man, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

I like how you basically inverted the typical "who's safest to be around" scale due to the yandere instincts. Those who were already dangerous know how to keep those dark tendencies in check while those who weren't are now getting hit full force and don't know how to cope. It changes up the typical day to day cast so other characters get more of a chance to shine than the typical ones.

I feel like most boys so far have gotten a fair amount of time in the spotlight. The ones we've heard the least from are the Octavinelle and Scarabia boys as well as Epel. It makes sense for the Octavinelle and Scarabia boys since they haven't really had their mini arcs yet (and we've seen some of the Octa boys in action when it came to the Spelldrive incident + The first poachers incident). Epel also makes sense because Vil had his little episode outside of Pomefiore guarding hours ... But I hope to see him a little more in the future. No rush though!

I already have the adoption papers ready for Crewel and Trein. Vargas and Sam have cool uncle/older brother privilege. Crowley.... Exists.... Glad to see he's actually trying though. Papa Hades is a cool addition. He seems like a guy we could call at four in the morning to vent about our worries to without fear of judgement or our words reaching unintended ears. Mr. Bounty hunter is cool too, but I'm still on the fence about making him official family.

Malleus. I have so many thoughts about Malleus. Not many of them are nice. I like how you characterized him and I think it makes sense. Honestly his behavior seems at least somewhat in line with normal Malleus.... Just cranked up to eleven. That being said, I am about ready to smack him upside the head. I understand where he's coming from, I really do! But he's going about it wrong and his possessive behavior is really making me not like him. I'm glad he at least cares enough about MC that he's not going to marry/mate with her against her will, but also even what we've negotiated with him isn't enough. I personally would be so annoyed that we're basically his emotional support human. Like, Buddy. I don't want to be in close contact with you 24/7 or have to make deals to see you every other day so you don't get huffy and cause a storm. Please. Also the whole, "I'm gonna extend your life to match mine without telling you so we can be together forever" business? Yeah no, huge breach of trust. If I didn't know he'd likely overblot and kill me in a crime of passion, I'd ban him from seeing me for a year for that.

The Undying Ursas! There's still quite a bit we don't know about them, but they feel like an overarching plot detail that ties the story together nicely that's starting to get more notice that we're starting to settle into this world. Perhaps they'll have a key to help us get home?

Grim. I think your Grim is the least annoying version I've seen this far. Childish? Yes. But reading about him here doesn't make me want to bash my head into a wall and I've actually grown somewhat attached to the furball. I appreciate the bond MC has with him, and it's honestly quite sweet watching the two interact.

Small-ish head canon: I've noticed that Rielle got turned from an RSA student into Ariel just being a dude and I had an idea regarding him. What if Rielle was still an RSA student, but the twin/cousin to our prince Mahi-Mahi (hopefully soon to be sashimi) Erikir. He's interested in archeology/maritime and very introverted. He's been spoiled sweet (like Charlotte La Bouff from the Princess and the Frog) and is happy to please. Unlike Floyd and Jade who present outwardly as good twin and evil twin (secretly they're both 'evil') these two both present as 'good twins' but it's only true for Rielle. Outwardly, the two are nice to each other, but Eirkir secretly thinks Rielle is a pushover and weak minded. Erikir kept him away from the human by presenting the opportunity to guard the human as a burden, and offering to put in a word to let Rielle go out on a field trip to an excavation site during the Spelldrive tournament because Rielle isn't really that much of a sports guy. Maybe the two look alike, or maybe Rielle looks more like Prince Erik in a bit of dramatic irony. Regardless, there is a family resemblance in the way that those not close to them may get the two mixed up... It would be rather unfortunate if the human saw him and mistook him for Erikir.

Personalizing the story: It would be over so quick for me probably. I'd see the polite, (seemingly) mild-mannered Moray with his mushrooms on day two and fall head over heels. I'm unfortunately bad at hiding things and blunt as can be, so Malleus would probably go bonkers and kill me (and him) in a crime of passion. I don't think that a week one Malleus would be okay with, "I want to date this guy and probably eventually marry him though I'm fine with being your possession/family or whatever. Also I'm not interested in dating/marrying anyone else." I feel as though if you managed to survive to the end of the story, you'd get a fairytale ending... The issue is getting there.

Overall: Amazing. Love your work. Keep it up (no rush though). I will feast on whatever you write regarding this AU like Ruggie. Compliments to the Chef.

Genuinely, though, I DEEPLY appreciate the essay level of praise, it does mean a lot to me. I have quite the intense Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, so praise makes my nervous little heart full and happy. I am glad you are enjoying it, and I hope I don't disappoint!

On the topic of Rielle, when I first started writing the HAE AU, the only RSA students I knew of were Neige, Neige's seven Fae friends, Ambrose, and Che'nya. I made Erikír before I knew Rielle was a thing. But I like that idea of Rielle being Erikír's twin (the actual good twin). I already have Erikír's punishment planned out, but I can absolutely work in Rielle being genuinely good when the story eventually gets to Erikír's trial.

[ilikekidsshows]

The thing with the main characters of the show miraculous ladybug and their negatives is that I can get why Adrien acts the way he acts at times, like lashing out, being a bit gullible, and being a bit impulsive, it’s because of how he was raised and who he was raised by. But I can’t get behind Marinette and her negatives, being obsessive, a bit stalker-ish, and willing to go out of her way to get anything, she doesn’t really have any home issues and doesn’t have bad parents.

No, her having PTSD doesn’t excuse how she acts.

I may be harsh about how I view things but I can’t help how I think -🍀🪵

---

Another angle: even if the writers managed to write the perfect explanation for Marinette’s behavior that covers all the aggravating stuff she pulls repeatedly, that still wouldn’t excuse her. I think the issue between Adrien and Marinette’s behavior is how excusable it is, but not from the angle of how understandable it is. Excusing someone’s behavior most commonly takes the form of accepting it. We say “excuse me” when we do something while acknowledging the other person would be put off by it. “Excuse me”, is basically “please accept this” or “please don’t be offended.”

Adrien’s behavior is, indeed, more excusable. It is far easier to overlook and accept someone being curt with you for a bit before they get a grip on their feelings and falling for manipulations. I sure as hell don’t tone police my friends or hold it against them when I need to clarify something for them and they’re the same way to me. Being friends with human beings means that they won’t always talk or act like characters from a cartoon suited for 5-year-olds, they’ll have off days when they can’t manage to be bright and cheerful for you even as they make it clear they enjoy your company.

If you were friends with Marinette, you’d have to accept her always being one minor problem away from turning your day into a “manage Marinette’s crisis” situation, getting thrown under the bus, sometimes in publicly humiliating ways, so that she can spend time around her crush and her forgetting any and all plans you’ve made to spend time together. You’ll have to accept her almost never acting like she actually enjoys your company.

The thing about Marinette’s behavior is that, the instant you look at almost any of her interactions with others from that other person’s perspective, it becomes apparent just how exhausting being friends with her would be. Even total strangers have to ignore any of their personal boundaries and need for accommodation in order to cater to her needs and accommodate her having a mental crisis at them because they didn’t instantly kiss her ass when they met and now she’s having a self-esteem crisis and taking it out on them (purposefully or not).

Adrien’s behavior is more excusable than Marinette’s, not because he has the right backstory, but, because he, frankly, isn’t half as exhausting to deal with as Marinette. Adrien's flaws mostly cause himself problems instead of others. Marinette, on the other hand, is constantly being exhausting over the pettiest, most meaningless stuff, and fully expects you to shower her in support and praise or else she’s an undeserving wretch, and that's when her flaws aren't causing others direct problems.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

For some time I thought about if I should post anything, but I decided to do so in case anyone else needs it (because I have been a tiny bit burnt out for the past year or so):

Your hobbies are supposed to bring you joy. Don't let it become a job; a "responsibility". You don't have to be "on" every day

Chances are that there will be someone who keeps bugging you even after politely telling them that you're not interested or that "you might consider it" or something along those lines. (This is how I ended up doing some role-playing for a fandom I was not interested in, in my dms) Some people will keep expecting things from you, while ignoring your boundaries. Don't let them (aka block; they might call you "mean" or "rude", but you're not)

You can't cater to everyone, so it's better to have your group of friends, along with some friendly acquaintances with whom you can make the best of your fandom experience

A block isn't a reflection of morality or "badness", especially on algorithm based mediums or Discord (tip: if you're in a larger public server with someone who overwhelms you or annoys you, blocking them will hide their messages from you. It's like being able to be in the same club house without forcing yourself to engage with someone) Yes on Tumblr you can always unfollow, but you can still see their posts in the tags. Cater to your experience. A block isn't a big deal (I know I have been blocked by people who don't like seeing reader insert fics in their feed/tags, and that is completely fine. And I have probably been blocked for other reasons as well. It's not a big deal)

Promote things you want to see, create things you want to see, and enjoy the process

Publishing that Work/Art/Fic is scary, but that is the only way to get it out there (and if you're worried about "not being 'good enough'" whatever that might mean, remember that you have to start somewhere. I started with sentences that were all over the place, and just last year got a comment about having good grammar; after 3-4 years of writing in a foreign language)

Be cringe. Be free. Do things you enjoy! Pet a dog, go for a walk, draw that oc or blorbo or both or daydream about them. The world is bleak rn, but you have to try and find enjoyment from little things. You can't give from an empty basket, so if you're spent all the time, being there for those you care about becomes impossible somewhere down the line. "You have to take care of yourself, in order to care for others." Stop to breathe

More often than not, you just existing and enjoying life brings a kind of stability and enjoyment to others. I think about this one time in high school chemistry class, where I was knitting (yes Chemistry, don't ask), and this one girl came up to me afterwards and said something along the lines of "I was feeling a lot of anxiety in class, and then I saw you knitting, and I went 'okay, [she]'s knitting, it's going to be okay'". I still to this day don't really know why that was, but it did tell me a thing: people around you, especially those who seek you out, follow you on social media, ask you out just to hang, they like having you around. And to these people, you existing as you are, including taking a step back when you need it, you are valuable as you are

[rosemaryentombed]

my favorite thing about about the 90's young justice solos is that they catered towards three distinct audiences, and yet after all these years, the one that would have been LEAST likely to be projected into nowadays is now the MOST woobified out of the three.

tim: a story for white kids, by a white guy who hates poor people, and didn't really take itself OUT of that white-male-projective-state even after all these years. bonus note, now the gays can project into tim cuz timbo's finally out the closet, and chuck dixon wants to kill himself over it, but it's ok bc we like tim even tho we don't like chuck.

bart: a story initially about a time-displaced refugee whose narrative heavily mirrored a refugee's forced assimilation into a new culture WHILE also appealing to the adhd/autism crowd, which the writer was absolutely OK with because bart's story can be accepted by BOTH the refugee narrative enjoyers and the adhd/autism crowds without impinging on his narrative poignancy, plus mark waid actually loved bart and he loves that WE love bart. inshallah he will write his boy again.

kon: a story about teenagers who are being neglected, and so he's acting out every which way and partying it up because he was meant to appeal to the 90's teenage rage and show how easy it is for kids to get caught up with predators like knockout and tana because of the lack of structure and discipline in their lives, but when geoff decided to ignore nearly ten years of creator-run canon, we had to deal with his timkonnie dreams, and now geoff's leaving, so now we gotta deal with the yja nonsense and some lady's self-insert dreams going into a character whose writer is not only still alive, but actively on the bi!kon train but from the 90's crackhead era perspective. and HE'S the one most woobified.

it's absolutely facinating cuz you'd think kon would be the most hated out of the three bc of his issues with consent and the unhealthy ways he frames relationships, but instead it's BART who people hate the most! bart's being infantalized and discounted and used at a third-man-ship-prop, while tim's being rewarded for being an emotionally strugglesome white man who just came out of the closet, and it's not nearly as bad as how bart's getting his ass beat in the fandumb, but poor tim can't even date his high school homie in peace without someone crying about how he 'deserved' kon instead.

to think that the character with that many issues would be the MOST woobified character in the yj cast is insane, bc what are you even woobifying? his depersonalization? his lack of boundaries with women? his inability to read a room? the fact that nobody loves nor cares about him enough to protect him from the horrors of the world? the fact that he was a stellar example of a CSA survivor who didn't even KNOW he was a victim of CSA, and thus wasn't really able to understand the ramifications of his inappropriate behavior until years later when he forced himself into a masculine fold so he didn't fall into the trap of being like 'the old him' again?

kon's story was a story of self-hatred come to life in the most fantastical ways. he thinks it's ok to publicly date a grown woman other people are judging for dating a dumbass minor. he didn't know what a mother's love was, and had to witness it first hand with nanaue's mother. he thinks an emotionally unavailable and distant clone handler is his dad bc he doesn't KNOW anyone else who can fit into that mold. he thinks roxy's his sister but still has no problem sexualizing her in his head bc he thinks it's ok to find your older sister hot.

kon was the DEFINITION of the kids are not alright, nope, not at all, hell to the fuck no. geoff was the single biggest driver in stripping all the nuance from his character post-graduation day, but he not even here no more... what's the excuse in continuing to strip away at what makes kon, kon? i know dc's afraid to admit lois and clark looked the other way when a teenaged clone was dating an adult woman, but you woulda thought he woulda been a turnoff to the fandumb as well. he aint tho, so he suffers for it accordingly.

i can only hope karl kesel lands another contract after these new movies flop, so we can finally get a REAL follow-up to the 1994 solo. you could never make me hate that man's insane writing. justice for 1994 kon. if dc still had good writers, we coulda had a multi-year healing arc exposing how horrifying superheroing really is for people, and why clones deserve something to the equivalent of human rights. instead, he's doin fuckall and kissin m'gann. no shade to m'gann, she absolutely deserves more than the current caricature.

[titus-androgynous-87]

I am baffled that this fucking crusty ass rat lookin white boy named fucking WILDER isn’t the worst one on Couple to Throuple

I hated him the moment I laid eyes on him. I hated his fucking rat face. I hated his bottle blonde mullet. I hated his crusty mustache. And when his partner Corey started talking about him having crossed boundaries before, I -really- hated him

I’m only on episode 6 or 7 I think, and he has actually surprised me. He and their additional partner, Denyse, have been really good about taking things at Corey’s pace. And making sure to reassure Corey that going slow and setting boundaries isn’t ruining their dynamic

Wilder actually said, out loud “You not voicing your concerns WILL ruin the night, because then you’ll be uncomfortable and we won’t know. That’s how boundaries get crossed”

Wilder and Corey are also the only couple who have stuck with the same partner through the entire process. All the other couples have swapped at least once. Which is fine, and the point of the show. But it feels really superficial and gross when the couples talk about their temporary partners like they are objects for their pleasure and convenience.

Wilder and Corey at least seem to understand that polyamory goes beyond the physical. Though I do giggle because it seems like Denyse is way more into Corey than Wilder. And Corey is way more into Denyse. And Wilder seems content being their third wheel

Real “this is my girlfriend, Corey, and her girlfriend, Denyse” energy. But they seem to understand that polyamorous relationships, especially closed triads like this, don’t have to be 100% equitable all the time. People are naturally going to have deeper connections with some folks and not others. Doesn’t mean they don’t all care for one another. Nobody can post anything on SM until after the reunion, which is understandable. But I’d be interested to know if they’re still a triad (closed or open) or if they’ve all gone their separate ways

I’m really just here for Maximo and Ash at this point, because they’re the queer energy this show needs. And you could instantly see how relaxed the singles were around both of them

Both are non-binary, pan, and have experience with polyamory, though individually and not as a couple (which is how I think this show should have been structured to begin with)

They’re messy and silly and a touch toxic, but who isn’t on this show?

The ones I -really- fucking despise are the swinger couple looking to just have threesomes

Fucking humiliating their additional partners for not wanting to immediately get physically intimate, let alone fuck, within the first hour of meeting. Treating additional partners like playthings to be shelved when they’re bored and picked back up at their convenience. Mocking additional partners for setting boundaries and voicing concerns. Mocking additional partners for having feelings and thoughts and hopes and dreams. The, frankly, disgusting dynamic of centering Dylan as the UltraSigmaAlphaBro with two women hanging off him. I hope his dick falls off from all the steroids. And his wife Lauren is no better

They never should have been cast

Ashmal and Rehman are MESSY. And totally using their partner Johnathan to triangulate their pre-existing issues. These two need locked in a room until they actually discuss their issues

Ashmal has never taken Rehman to meet his family. Hasn’t spoken with his family about Rehman, nothing. And they keep bringing thirds in to ignore the real problems

Messy, under the covers handjobs don’t solve rifts in your relationship, yall. A two legged table cannot stand

And I have no fucking clue why Brittne and Sean are here. They don’t seem into each other, let alone an additional partner. They’re constantly running away from criticisms and difficult discussions. They ignore their partners and shut down their concerns. Brittne made it absolutely clear she is to be the queen bee of the group, to be catered to

Which isn’t how a healthy duo works. Let alone a triad

Idk this show has a LOT of flaws. But if they do a second season, I think the singles should have all the agency and focus, not the couples. Gimme a group of like 15 poly/pan/fluid folks and let me watch them form their own polycules

Because if I have to listen to another straight man giggle about threesomes, I’m gonna go into my back yard and eat dirt until the rage stops

I really wish Becca, one of the more prominent singles, had warned the rest of the group about Dylan and Lauren just looking to be swingers. That would have added so much more interest for me

Like how are the singles going to approach them about their toxic and gross behavior? Will the couple grow and learn and change when confronted with this? (No but we’d have fun watching them flounder and cry that no one wants to fuck them, let alone go home with them)

[antiendovents]

Seeing endos and pro endos complain about going into the did tag and seeing anti endo. Like. Here's an easy solution. Block them and block anti endo tags.

I got sick of pro endo and endo stuff and did the same. Boom, cater your online space to you. Don't wanna see syscourse? Block the tags. If the person doesn't tag properly or cross tags then block them specifically. My mental health has been a LOT BETTER since doing this with endos and pro endo posts. I have a lot of endos blocked and see far less about them. I have tags blocked so I can just ignore posts about em.

If you're that annoyed about anti endos then you can just block them. The fact that endos and pro endos don't seem to get this is so infuriating and esp since it leads to them feeling justified to harass us. Most anti endos even use those tags so they know to not interact and to avoid them even with unrelated posts. Cause of ✨boundaries.✨

Like they CAN do something about it. Blocking tags and blocking accounts that you don't wanna see are fine. Someone doesn't want you interacting with them, but you see a lot of their posts? Either avoid them or you can ✨block.✨

Just really frustrated seeing this be a big problem on the endo side. In a lot of discourse too honestly. Just Tumblr discourse does not care about blocking and catering an online space. And it is fully so much better if you do just that.

REAL. like why are you complaining about us being in OUR tags!? Even if you feel uneasy seeing "bigots" in the DID tags then block anti endo tags?? Or even just anti endo blogs?? It's not that hard to avoid people. Especially on the internet. You don't have to harass every anti endo you see... /Nay

Just use the block button guys, please

[fluffomatic]

Can we advocate for the safe adults who don’t want minors interacting with them but the minors keep pushing because they’re expecting us to cater to their mommy issues, daddy issues, or be their therapist?

The situation is awful. And so are those people.

But while those minors are not obligated to forgive those who hurt them, us safe adults are also not obligated to be their friends.

It’s so annoying as a fellow big sfw creator to have a bunch of them clamoring for my attention and being like oh :’( you’re ignoring me! No shit. Of course I’m ignoring you. I don’t want to be your friend. I post stuff, talk to my other ADULT friends, and leave. You’re welcome to enjoy my stuff bc it’s sfw but I am not here for you.

Ugh.

Just crying out for my voice to be heard because no one ever thinks about what we go through on the daily.

Absolutely. As adults, we have every right to not want to have friendships with these people. But maybe there are kinder ways to say things. As you said, these are kids, kids with issues possibly, and blaming them for wanting to befriend a creator feels a bit wrong. I suggest doing your best to set boundaries. If you don't want to talk to someone because of their age, let them know. Most people will be understanding. You have no obligation to talk to someone just because they interact with your content. But at the least, be respectful. Look, I wouldn't be where I am now if not for my followers. I would most literally be nothing. But I don't really talk to any of them because I don't have to. If people push my boundaries, I block em, end of story. Each party has responsibility here. The adults and the minors. It may be annoying, but remember that the reason is because they care for you and your content. Set your boundaries and show respect, and you'll get respect back. And if you don't, those people can be removed from your space

[fedorahead]

it's interesting how people are comfortable saying someone is "using autism as an excuse" for being socially inappropriate or not comprehending a boundary, it's a disabling disability for a reason. the phrase "socially retarded" was literally coined to refer to us. there's this expectation that once something is explained to us, we should be able to abide by it. have you ever considered that autism is not the same as ignorance? that we behave the way we do, insist on the things we do, because our brains literally work differently? and the thing is, they work *very* differently, in a way people don't understand. even between two autists, both will have glaring deficits the other won't be able to comprehend, because we're more different than each other than any two allistics are from each other. so the whole "look, i'm autistic and even i wouldn't xyz" is a complete narcissistic farce (something some of us also have tendencies towards, actually)

when i need to understand something, it's not that i need an explanation that someone else considers adequate. it's that there is a barrier in my brain with a very specific mechanism that will unlock it. and that mechanism isn't something someone else will be able to guess, because there is no way for me to explain what i need to unlock it; if i could explain that, i wouldn't need to unlock it in the first place because i'd already have the key. and all the getting frustrated or judgmental you can throw at me won't be the thing that clicks for my comprehension.

autism is not ignorance Autism is Not Ignorance AUTISM IS NOT IGNORANCE

holding us to neurotypical standards because you're able to be held to that standard is absolute horseshit. it's really great that plenty of autists are able to mask well enough to fit in to society so that you can be comfortable; up until the point that their autism becomes visible and you think they've betrayed you rather than realizing that the rest of your experiences you've had with them have been specifically catered to making you comfortable because they know you'll respond in a volatile way if they don't expend all their mental energy on sucking your ego's dick every time you interact. not all of us can or are willing to do that. many of us have been forced to do that, and the more we start accepting ourselves, the more people we're going to piss off because they didn't know we were capable of causing ego wounds and they don't think they're so sensitive in that regard. and no, i'm not talking about the nebulous "other people", i'm saying that you, you specifically, will experience this. where an autist who has a mask specially curated for you because you're someone who sets off their alarm bells of "not safe" isn't able to keep it up, and you will prove them right. you need to learn how to accept this instead of pretending that it's other people who are so hateful and awful and you're somehow better than everyone else and so much more understanding, and if we just behaved a little better, you wouldn't have to try to protect us from everyone else's judgments by criticizing us because you're our dearest hero who is here to enlighten us about what we are and aren't capable of and how we should and shouldn't behave and how our "true selves" are just peachy, really. sweaty, you haven't met the "true self" of another person in your entire life.

no.

you.

don't foist this off on some strawman in your mind. i'm talking to your ass specifically.

sit with it.

[mjackdaw]

my mom sent me this article and I just finished reading it and listen I’m not saying this is the most refined or profound thought ever but I feel like the problem at the center of this with parents who are equating teaching their children to share with teaching them to have their boundaries ignored is that they’re completely failing to recognize that the thing in question is often a shared resource rather than a private possession - like their examples are a public park slide or toys in a classroom

your kid is not going become a “pushover” or allow their boundaries to be broken into later years if you teach them about the concept of shared resources

my initial response with these kind of things is very often “people pissing on “gentle parenting” are often just holding on to outdated ideas of what parenting looks like in the same way that everyone from a given generation will think the next generations parents are too soft” but in this case the habits being ascribed to the “gentle parenting” side are maybe, bad

I don’t really know and I’m not presuming to have particularly interesting thoughts on this but it’s been a minute since I got to read a thing and have a thought on it to share with other people since I so rarely have a Response to a thing

[g-hua]

"Why are you being so curt to me? You said it was okay to talk to you!"

I told you that I have times during the day (early morning) where I am still not really in the mood to socialise due to my own problems. I tried to phrase this the best I could so that you'd understand. I warned you of this because I didn't want to come off as rude or irritated at you. I told you that the exception would be if you really needed someone to talk to about a serious issue or were in need to vent.

I also told you that if I was having a day where I felt overwhelmed and couldn't hold a conversation, I'd tell you.

You have been coming up to me every morning as soon as I arrive to try and rope me into small talk where you constantly repeat things you've already told me quite a few times and don't let me speak. You keep making covert attempts to use me for your own benefit because you can't entertain yourself. You constantly bring up how "I don't like" this or that thing as if it is something that bothers you when it has nothing to do with you, and often you will do it while or after doing the thing you say "I don't like".

This isn't a preference. I'm AuDHD, late diagnosed, and still trying to figure out how my brain works after decades of neglect and trauma to add to that. What I managed to figure out so far is that I need time to adjust in the mornings or my fight or flight kicks in. I'm not being petulant. My brain doesn't work like your brain. We all have our issues here, and you having your own issues doesn't give you the right to try and make others ignore theirs to cater to you.

I'm being curt because you are constantly disrespecting my boundaries that I've told you about more than once. Considering what you're doing, I'm being very courteous.

Not to mention... Other things I let slide for the sake of not losing my spot here.

I'm very white passing, like, Markiplier levels of white passing. You only notice it if I say something about it. My first name comes from my white heritage and my last name from my foster parents, which makes it even less obvious.

No one has picked up so far that I know a little too much about Chinese culture for a white person. Including how to pronounce words they don't. People here aren't very perceptive.

It isn't the first time that they've said really insensitive things, like implying that it's fine to rip off Chinese shop owners or using this countries equivalent of the word "chink".

To make it even worse, they say this after talking about how they got a headache and the owner of a Chinese shop they were in let them borrow their qing liang you (basically tiger balm). They got upset when this owner told them that they couldn't sell them qing liang you, and they bought this for themselves for personal use.

I tried to be nice and explain to them that I could help, that I knew from their description the brand and that if they could talk to friends and see if they knew anyone at the docs where the cargo containers are docked. They could probably drop by the section where Chinese shops pick up their products and ask if they'd sell them some qing liang you because they're the ones that bring it over for immigrants.

I even taught them how to pronounce qing liang you. I wrote it on a paper in both Mandarin, Latin alphabet, and the translation (all-purpose balm). I added the specific brand they borrowed too.

They were still upset that someone couldn't just magic up some qing liang you for them. And then.

"Chinks are so stingy"

...

Okay, fuck you too.

[starstruck-sillies]

Truthfully, it being a CDD system doing it really doesn't make it any better

(using a more general "you" in this post, not talking about you in particular, moreso the pro endos supporting this)

It's still breaking boundaries regardless, which is my primary issue with it. It's still shitty to copy someone's post, word for word, without their permission or knowledge. Even if it's targeted towards pro endos with CDDs, the idea of them trying to be ""inclusive"" doesn't matter if you're just blatantly ignoring DNIs.

Pro endos with CDDs absolutely do deserve representation, and they have every right to talk about their experiences, but you don't have to copy someone else entirely to do so. You can make a post of your own on the exact same topic, that even sounds similar, hell, you can vaguepost all you want. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you aren't going into anti endo spaces just to snatch their posts for no other reason than to post them somewhere else with different tags.

A lot of the posts cater to endos, and even if they don't, it's still a horrible way to go about things. I feel as though a lot of the ones supporting these accounts wouldn't have liked it when that one account doing the exact same thing, just taking pro endo posts and making them anti endo, appeared. I know *we* hated it for the same reason we hate these accounts.

If you're going to do something like this, at the very least ask permission before doing it? I know the reason they don't, because they'd rarely ever get anyone saying yes, but that's all the more reason not to do it.

You can support pro endos with CDDs without making anti endos worried about posting in their own spaces. You can talk about these things, and make people feel seen, heard, and understood, without making pro endos out to be people who talk over anti endos and invade anti endo spaces.

It's still important to respect the boundaries of the other side, even if you don't like them, and intentionally disrespecting those very simple, small boundaries is a surefire way of making them lose any trust that you'll respect other boundaries. Regardless of if it's an endo, or a pro endo with a CDD, it's still something that's sure to make antis hate (pro) endos even more, because it tells us that you only listen when we agree with you, and that you'll only respect our boundaries when it's convenient.

-Milkyway

What post was stolen? I'm confused

Basically there's a couple of accounts made by (pro) endos that's literally just them copy and pasting anti endo posts, just to edit them slightly then post in endo tags, if they even edit them at all. Just straight up taking posts without permission and warning for the sole purpose of making them ""inclusive"".

Basically they think we're all asshole bigots who don't deserve to have our boundaries respected. Afaik, they haven't snatched any of our posts, but they've definitely done it to several of our mutuals. There's never any credit, never permission, nothing, they just take the posts word for word, change the tags and maybe the wording a little, then act like they're being inclusive when they're just making CDD experiences about endos.

I know to some people, it may seem like we're overreacting, but I need yall to understand;

They are blatantly, deliberately, and intentionally ignoring boundaries, talking over CDD systems, and invading our spaces by doing this. They are taking posts about OUR EXPERIENCES, and making it about endos without our permission or knowledge. When you hear "endos are making our disorder about them", this is what we mean by that. THAT'S FUCKING ABLEIST.

If you can't respect a boundary as small as "don't copy my posts to put in endo tags", there's no reason for us to believe you will respect any other boundary we set. The message this kind of thing sends, is that we don't deserve to have our boundaries respected and that we don't deserve to have separate spaces away from endos.

-Milkyway

[holdontwstistakingovermymind]

General Yandere!Dorms with Polyam!MC PT 1

I might go more in depth is asked but for now I'm just covering the very basics of how the dorms interact with each other and yandere Mc. Please send in requests if you would like specific yandere reactions! This was very, very long, so I decided to split it in two.

ALSO! THIS IS YANDERE! NOT LOVE!

Heartslabyul

Very controlling, but not incredibly restricting.

There's this understanding amongst the dorm that despite how they may feel, they aren't going to catch your heart by being incredibly possessive.

(^If that worked Diasomnia and Savanaclaw would surely be the only two in the running)

Instead, they recognize they have to get your guard to drop a bit. To make you feel comfortable, and slowly introduce you into what will eventually be your life.

The only problem is no one in Heartslabyul ever stays to script, thus giving you plenty opportunity to see the red flags waving in the air.

However, if you don't catch on quick enough, you're bound to experience plenty of exclusive Heartslabyul traits.

To start off, Ace and Deuce are constantly trying to paint themselves as your innocent first year friends that really have nothing to do with Riddle, Trey, and Cater's weird behavior.

Cater acts like a creep online, and would definitely ally with other dorms if he knew it would guarantee himself access to you.

Trey and Riddle are (thankfully) able to stop the three from destroying all the progress they've made towards being the dorm you call home, but Riddle slips up a lot with you, thus often looking like a hypocrite to the others.

^It's not so much that he feels entitled to you, he just has standards for how you should behave. One may even call them rules but Riddle would most likely be appalled at the subtle accusation.

Tbh Trey is the only thing holding this dorm together half the time.

He's such a good manipulator. Honestly if Azul knew of this before hand, he might have recruited him.

(^^something about being a caring older brother gives him the appearance of someone who wants the best for you and knows how to get that. Only one of these things are true)

They hardly ever work together.

But whenever they do, it's usually out of spite, and that's something to be afraid of.

At least when you give them your full attention, they act normal.

Movie nights actually feel like you aren't being held captive by five magical men!

Trey usually makes you eat all your meals under watch before handing you off to someone else. He's incredibly worried you're going to starve if you don't eat one meal.

Sometimes Riddle embodies the essence of his mother when handling you. It's perhaps one of the more terrifying aspects of being tied to the group, but thankfully has no real physical impact. Just a mental one.

Thankfully nothing ever gets too out of hand. It's just scary as hell. Especially when you can see the blot building in his eyes.

Savanaclaw

Not easy to escape from, but very easy to trick.

You simply just have to embrace the idea that they expect you to act like prey.

Yes, it's rather demeaning. Especially considering the fact that Leona often insists on calling you that when he wants to be particularly hurtful.

Ignore him for as long as you possibly can. Eventually he'll piss of Jack and those two will distract each other long enough for you to do something that doesn't involve the three beastmen.

Of course, if you don't use these times to plan an escape that takes advantage of the three's more base instincts, you're basically setting yourself up for a nightmare

(It doesn't last forever. Don't be too down... or too excited. Unfortunately there's a few other dorm's that are seeking out your company and aren't really willing to negotiate. Not yet at least)

Ruggie is perhaps the least harmful. He follows more then he leads, which means when you're alone you can pretty much get him to do almost anything for your affection.

Jack is similar in a sense, but he tends to have much more boundaries and plenty of them are exclusive to his authority as well. Leona won't really care about your eating habits or physical fitness like Jack will. The lion just expects you to keep up, whilst the wolf will more then likely ride your ass if you don't take every measure possible to be healthy.

Ruggie does his best to help you out either way.

Dumbasses don't let you rest when they want to do their athlete thing. You either must be playing or cheering them on. Otherwise everyone is going to be pissed and then you're never going to hear the end of it.

Leona does like a challenge though so remember that every time you put up a fight or disobey house rules.

Bruises are common in this dorm due to all the rough housing and general lack of care. Jack is appalled whenever you get anything larger than a dime and has threatened to take you to another dorm before.

That did not end well.

Probably the dorm that has to deal with the most shit from other dorms.

(^Diasomnia are harsh to mostly everyone, but are specifically unforgiving of Savanaclaw. On top of this, many others tend to have a problem with Leona's often neglectful attitude.)

The trio is usually able to tell before something happens though. Ruggie especially is extra sensitive to foreign magic.

This probably has something to do with his signature spell, but who knows. It's a useful skill to have, especially when you're the current keeper of the prize.

Octavinelle

It's complicated.

Nothing with these three is ever easy though, right?

More than likely they're able to get their hands on you in the most pleasant way possible. Perhaps via a contract, perhaps not.

Either way they get you to come to them.

Floyd doesn't like it. Not really. He likes rushing at problems head on, his version of the perfect romance being more akin to Kalim's ideals then Azul's.

He goes along with it despite what he wants, because even if he'd rather just pick you up and run, everyone knows that does not work out well.

Besides, Azul's plan is (somewhat) competent.

All they have to do is make themselves the best option. Then you'll have nowhere else to go, but honestly, why would you want to go anywhere else to begin with?

Yeah, Floyd is a little rambunctious, Jade sometimes gets a bit too rough, and Azul has his own list of issues, but at least you're allowed to leave, right?

It's just strongly discouraged. Afterall, they can't protect you out there.

Jade is the best at using your worries against you.

Due to Azul's past as a well-known manipulator and Floyd's over-eager nature, Jade is usually the only one with a clean enough record to have any sort of leverage, and boy does he use it.

Reminds you all the time of the good things you have in their dorm. All the privileges, and freedom. Sure, you aren't allowed in the lounge, but that's because they are trying to avoid lawsuits. And yeah, Jade doesn't like you interacting with other students in the dorm, but they could be working for someone else anyways. It's be stupid to talk to them.

Don't worry if you make a mistake with the latter, Jade and Floyd will make sure it doesn't happen again. They won't hurt you of course! It's much easier to just squash the problem at its core.

Thankfully you won't know anything about that. They'll make sure you're too busy with other frivolous things to really get into trouble.

Azul absolutely encourages you to take up hobbies/continue school work. Not only does he love the thought of helping you improve, but he also thinks that a busy mind stops a wandering mind.

Floyd and occasionally Jade still like to annoy you despite the dorm leader's beliefs. It's playful, of course, but nothing is more infuriating than getting focused on something and having the tweels rip you away from it.

If anything was ever going to happen with all the dorms coming together in some sort of an agreement, Octavinelle will most likely be at the center of everything. Surprisingly they're very fair to the other dorms. This is mostly because they recognize what the others can bring to the table, and by that point they've most likely already secured themselves as your safe haven. No real competition left when you always strive for the best.

Scarabia

These two have incredibly different methods of managing a darling.

Kalim is incredibly delusional. Perhaps one of the most delusional out of the long list of males enrolled at the school.

(But Malleus might take the cake there. With that being said, he's got three other people supporting his beliefs. If he was alone, or paired with someone like Jamil, his view of your romance wouldn't be all storybook. Kalim isn't like that.)

Jamil is completely self-aware. It's actually scary how he seems to recognize just how bad things are, and doesn't care.

He tends to shield this all from Kalim though. It's better if he remains as unaware of your true feelings as possible. Jamil would rather not deal with the mes that will follow if he does.

Despite this flaw, you should be incredibly thankful for Jamil. If not for him, Kalim might have accidentally killed you.

He gets over excited, and tends to ignore the more dangerous aspects of things, often underestimating the possible dangers to follow.

(Bad things happen but they don't happen to you, apparently. Not until they do and Kalim is crying a threats from other dorms are being thrown around)

Kalim doesn't put any restrictions on your coming and going. He believes you're there willingly, but Jamil knows better. Those pretty golden anklets Kalim gave you are now physically keeping you from leaving the dorm. He's absolutely ecstatic that you wear them, but he's unaware that you can't take them off.

At least there's good food and plenty of things to keep you entertained. Just don't get too attached to one thing. Kalim gets bored easy.

Probably one of the few dorms to share a room with you and not give you your own. Most likely because there is only two of them.

(Then again, Idia gave you your own room, so perhaps it really depends on the person.)

Jamil and Kalim do butt heads a little from time to time. It's always a great time to rest because they're being too passive aggressive to really care what you do.

Take the opportunity to sleep. Kalim will need your attention and Jamil will desire your affection soon enough.

[animeyanderelover]

Could you maybe do the letters L,T,N,A with kaneki? This is my first time asking another blog I hope I didn’t do it incorrectly 😅 also I love your writing❤️

I already did the letters L and T for him so I obviously didn't do them in here.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, clinginess, mental breakdown, abduction, death

Yandere Alphabet

Affection-How and how often do they show affection?

🔲It depends on how far in the relationship he is with his darling. There is no denial that Kaneki is dependent on affections from his darling, it soothes his low self-esteem a bit and is genuinely one of the few things that still make him happy. On the other hand he doesn't want to force his s/o and disgust them even more so initially he really puts effort into stuffing his needs down and only focusing on your own needs. It's at first mainly words of adoration and love and acts of service. He compliments you on even the small things he finds precious and is usually the one to cook you your favorite meals or get you a new book or something you want to have.

🔲​He has his outbursts when everything becomes too much but he wants to earn your love and the moment you do start to accept him and show signs of returning his feelings, he dares to ask if he can hold your hand or cuddle with you to test his boundaries. If you don't seem to mind he starts increasing his affection to the physical aspect and let me tell you, Kaneki is a clingy and touch-starved person. He wants to hold hands with you, loves to pepper your face with chaste kisses and adores cuddling and spending long hours in the morning in bed when he has the time. He's a sucker if you give him any sort of affection as well, especially if it has something to do with touching since physical affection is the most reassuring for him.

Nightmare-What would be the worst experience for their darling? Would they break?

🔲​It isn't even the whole kidnapping or the aspect of being isolated that is the worst experience you could have with Kaneki. No, the worst experience is without a doubt the moment he snaps and turns into a madman. It comes usually when you escape, get hurt by someone, are attacked or ignore him. He is vulnerable but swallows his feelings down most of the time when it comes to giving you time to adjust. When he snaps though, he's begging, going down on his knees, crying with this mental glint in his eyes and is even ready to tie you up if you try to get away since his paranoia reaches it's peak. It's a hundred times worse though if someone hurts you because Kaneki is in a frenzy as soon as he sees your wounds and/or the culprit who is responsible. Violent and bloody doesn't even capture the scene you're exposed too as Kaneki attacks beyond viciously and deforms and tears them apart with indescribable fury on his face.

🔲​It is never his intention to traumatize his s/o, Kaneki actually is someone to attend to his darling's every need after all. He doesn't want his darling to break yet when he loses it he needs a while to snap out of it since he literally can't control his emotions and just acts on raw instinct. I'd say it depends on how well his s/o can cope with this all. Kaneki is a worshipper and caters to your well-being, he is no sadist so he never toys with you or hurts you for fun. Most of the time he keeps you out of his world so you don't have to see anything which could break you and if he breaks then it is just very unfortunate since such an experience sticks with a person. If he does notice that you seem to lose yourself though, he will try to help you somehow which is, admittedly, not something every Yandere would do as quick as he does, some wouldn't even help at all since they prefer a broken darling.

[bluiela]

"The valid point being “well someone shouldn’t have fun if they aren’t willing to rework their boundaries so I can feel included”.

This point becomes invalid when you are hosting an event for an entire fandom, either you include the entire fandom or just clearly state who it is for, "For all elain fans" ?! well except the ones i don't like, choose one

"It’s very interesting how you’re talking about not shaming anyone for their likes when again, we all witnessed a 48 hour tantrum of y’all shaming one account for their likes. For the boundaries they put in place. For how they choose to handle a week created by them. You really want to talk to me about fandom etiquette? Really?"

So you agree you shaming people for their likes/dislikes??

How is asking = shaming? I'm asking why aren't all and everything triggering not being removed but only one thing, why are all other triggers not valid for them?

Why are the hosting an event for the entire fandom when they can't include all fandom, why can't they or you answer this and divert it by saying " you guys are shaming and bullying us pls your bad"

Fandom etiquette is if you're hosting an event for an entire fandom include entire fandom, don't shame people for their likes, gaslight people into thinking they're bad for shipping fictional characters, no one but you is responsible for your triggers, if you can't do it then atleast properly cite the rules, that this is not for all elain fans

"

Isn’t the first rule of fandoms is to ignore what doesn’t suit you? To perfect the art of minding your own damn business? Isn’t that exactly what the creator intended to do? Not acknowledge anything that they didn’t like and isn’t that why y’all are so upset? You’re talking about exercising fandom etiquette when that account has shown more grace towards you people than you deserve (more grace than I would have shown you) over the last couple of days.

And you’re still relentlessly attacking them. You don’t care about fandom etiquette, you can’t about acting like a shitty and entitled person and never being called out for it. You care about pushing people’s boundaries until they eventually agree to what you want even if it makes them uncomfortable. And that’s why you’re so mad at the runner of Elain’s week. Because they told you No and you’re a child who isn’t used to hearing that word. "

Fandom etiquette is to block and ignore stuff you don't like but as an admin of an entire event you are taking a responsibility of hosting an event, writing proper rules, making proper rules, they are not just a random account who can ban ships they don't like they chose to take the resposibilty to host for the entire fandom or that is they say but then they remove a part of the fandom?

I have not attacked them, if you have proof then only speak i only ask them, why are they only considering physical abuse and helping with triggers releating to that why not SA, NSFW, Multilation, Verbal abuse, Victim Blaming?? Are these triggers not valid for them why are they only catering to one trigger??

No one is making them uncomfortable they as an adult chose to a part of the fandom and host and event, that is different from being a rando in the fandom,

I'm not mad, i'm just saying why are they only saying NO to physical absue What about saying NO to other triggers?

I and other have shown you more grace than u deserve considering the vile thing you have posted shaming other

"Your boundaries are your boundaries. If the admin is fine with characters like Rhys, Feyre, Nesta, or Eris then that’s their boundary. What someone considers unforgivable and what you consider unforgivable are not the same thing and never will be. They are choosing to run this week how they see fit and that’s the only thing that matters. If you don’t like it then don’t participate. If you feel like Feyre, Nesta, Eris, or Rhys shouldn’t be included in character weeks if Tamlin isn’t them run your own week. The energy y’all are putting into these essays could be used to make yourself happy and host your own character weeks. But no you just want to complain about a boundary that’s unshakable.

My point that the “admin said it follow it” is the only point I need since they are the one running the week. What’s going to be posted on their account is up to them. The admin said it and you have to follow it if you want your art to be showcased with everyone else’s.

As I stated you’re not important enough to change anything. Get over it. "

So basically what you mean is they are setting boundaries because they are triggered by it and i should respect it no matter what, and as an admin they should blatantly ignore other's boundaries and triggers and cater and show favoritism to only one group and we shouldn't speak up about it and if we do the according to you it is temper tantrums,

According to you people who are triggered by SA, Verbal abuse, mutilation, victim blaming, should suck and keep quite when people are taking measures against Triggers regarding DV,

Why are so invalidating and downplaying others triggers??

Respectfully go touch grass and learn some manners

Guys i think i found out the troll,

The language, the tone, it perfectly matches up with the troll,

I think this could be the e/riel troll or one of their friends