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crispyjenkins · 11 months ago

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mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

#prequel trilogy #time travel au #obi wan kenobi #star wars #crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down #like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised #they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read #and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written #mandalorans #world building #vhonte tervho #will be pulling many characters from repcom obv #but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up #also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply #would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering #this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist #malcontent crow #still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned #several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against #it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore #at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore #does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? 👀 👀 does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts

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paesagex · 1 month ago

Text

AU idea: "Deepest empathy"

Tenko gets his chance at becoming a hero, but not the kind you’d expect.

I guess this would happen if Afo haf been killed while Nao was pregnant. *This was born out of the fact that I hated that Tenko’s original Quirk was float, because come on, give that poor child some personality that doesn’t involve Nana. And being all pure and perfect. Gross. Also, in case it doesn’t become obvious, I’m a sucker for the interpretation of the Shimura household being a microcosm of Hero Academia society.

Enjoy!

Tenko Shimura is a middle school kid who wants to be a hero, like many others. He is fifteen years old, and is soon to be enrolled in highschool. He wishes to go to UA, the top hero school of the country.

However, odds are against him. Not only does his father, Koutaro, hate heroes with a passion, but Tenko’s quirk seems to be absolutely unsuitable for his dream.

Tenko inherited a weaker version of his mother’s and grandparents’ Quirk, “deepest empathy”. While it allows the older carriers to not only be perceptive of a person’s suffering, but also to be a soothing presence, Tenko’s Quirk is exclusively passive. He can perceive, but not influence. The Quirk allows him to tell when a person is feeling certain things, but more often than not it is just a muddy vision, as emotions have a tendency to be complicated and nuanced. His “vision” improves if he spends a lot of time with the person whose feelings he’s perceiving.

So his Quirk is especially weak, unreliable and not suited for hero work, not in fighting nor saving. At five, he was still believed to be quirkless, until finally he’s taken to a specialist who runs a DNA test. Turns out, as we said before, that his quirk is just weak, so weak that the moment it manifested itself first went unnoticed.

Tenko has a large family. An older sister, Hana, who inherited “float”, their father’s Quirk, then there’s his mother and grandparents who live with them in a big, fancy house.

The Shimuras are rich, Koutaro is one of the founders of a company focused on the construction business, and this house is amongst their commissions.

Koutaro is a strict man, who got everything he owns with nobody’s help. As a child, he was abandoned by his mother, Nana Shimura, an almost unknown Hero who left to fight a mysterious Villain, just to never come back. From there on, Koutaro had been on his own, fighting to build himself the normal life his mother, for no specified reason, decided to deny him. And he managed. He now has a home, a loving family, and financial security. He’s safe.

Tenko and his father do not get along. Koutaro hates heroes, and of course doesn’t want his children to have anything to do with them. In that house, Koutaro’s main rule amongst many, “No Heroes”, dominated. Every time a hero appeared on the news, the channel was changed. No cartoons with heroes involved allowed. No toys, no cards, no clothes, nothing that involved heroes or would have profited to a stupid hero-merchandise company could enter that household.

As small children, both Tenko and Hana wanted to be heroes (like all children in this world, after all). Hana is older and was able to adapt, lying to her parents about her true inspirations and pretending to be the perfect child. Tenko, other than being younger, is more direct by nature. Unable to hide anything that he’s feeling, he’s an open book, and his struggle to hide his wish to be a Hero and help others puts him in trouble with his father often.

Koutaro is very strict with his rules, and punishes Tenko by throwing him into the backyard for hours at a time, sometimes without eating and until it is dark.

Tenko develops a mysterious rash around his eyes. The adults think it is an allergy, not understanding that the fact that the rash itches only at home is a sign of psychosomatic stress.

Tenko loves his family very much. He just wishes they took his side, for once.

One day, Hana, sneaking into her father’s study, found a picture of her grandma Nana in hero costume, and, ecstatic to have a hero in the family, tells Tenko. But Koutaro finds out about the picture, and triggered, furious, demands to know who dared to sneak into his study. Hana, scared, blames Tenko.

This is the one time Koutaro’s strictness arises to violence, where he slaps Tenko twice, hard enough to knock the five year old to the ground, while the rest of the family watches, unable to take a side.

To Tenko, this event is traumatic. From that day on, the faces of the rest of his family standing there and watching as his father hurts him will haunt him, and stay an unspoken resentment forever.

He promised himself he will never become like them. He’ll never ignore a person in need of help.

The other adults of the family confront Koutaro and make him promise to never hit the children again. But they keep following the rules, and they keep making sure the children respect their father’s will. It’s best for everyone this way.

Hana apologizes, but Tenko doesn’t speak to her for days.

He only forgives her when Hana, knowing by now the stakes, takes a risk. She goes into a second-hand shop and buys in secret a tiny All Might keychain with her savings, which then she gifts to Tenko with her name written on it. “This way, if dad finds out, he won’t hurt you!” She says. Tenko still keeps it, ruined and with the name all smudged. It is an irreplaceable treasure.

Back to the present. The story starts with the day Tenko’s perspective was changed forever, and he was forced to reflect on what his dream entails.

He’s going back home from school after he hung out with his friends. Tenko is pretty closed off, he doesn’t like most of the kids in his school. It is a prestigious middle school, and he finds the competitive and snobbish environment obnoxious. To his father’s displeasure, he’s not interested in making contacts, and mostly just hangs out with other outcasts with weird, or weak quirks, the ones who are usually left out. Both from his school and others. His quirk is very useful to find people like that, and Tenko uses it often.

Hana is the popular sibling. He's going to the same school she went to, and comparison between the two siblings comes in often. Hana was and still is popular and smart, while Tenko is often considered too blunt and brooding. He doesn’t know it, but he has his own charm with outcasts.

As he’s walking towards the metro, he’s caught in a Villain fight. Heroes are fighting, and a crowd gathers to watch in awe, as it often happens.

Tenko can’t believe he’s got the chance to watch this, he’d never be allowed with another member of his family that isn’t his sister around. And she’d still be uncomfortable.

However, this is where things change, because Tenko’s quirk senses something weird. The heroes keep screaming to the villain about justice and how they’ll stop him from terrorizing the city. Weirdly, though, none of the civilians around are scared. The area is surrounded by heroes who cooperate and are focused, and soon will overpower the Villain.

The villain, who has been caught going on a rampage using his quirk, is the only scared person around. And he’s terrified to death.

The man is a heteromorph and has a size enhancing Quirk, his eyes wide and crazed.

Tenko suddenly isn’t so happy anymore. The Villain is eventually captured, and Tenko watches him being taken away, the guy’s face expressionless, stunned by the amount of hits.

He thinks that the Villain looks like the loneliest person in the world.

Tenko goes home quietly not long after that, deep in thought. He had never seen a villain fight before, despite there being plenty of crazy fanboys on the internet that signal them like shows to watch.

He comes home too late, and misses dinner. His father is expecting him to talk. In his study.

Tenko’s and Koutaro’s relationship has just kept going downhill, and Tenko’s rash is still visible around his eyes, and, recently, his neck. To Tenko, Koutaro’s presence is like a dark cloud that poisons the house. Despite having everything he ever wanted, Koutaro isn’t happy. His abandonment issues never healed, and the rest of the family treat those negative feelings like they’re a bomb they must not disturb in any way.

There are four people with empathy Quirks in the house who perceive this dysfunction, and three of them are convinced that it’s best to pretend it’s not there. Not Tenko though.

Tenko is stubborn and wouldn’t be able to hide any of his emotions even if he wanted to. So he fights with Koutaro often.

Koutaro loves Tenko, like all parents do, but there are moments where he can’t help his wounds take the best of him. Therefore he ends up treating Tenko like a scapegoat to his unhappiness, as if his rebellious behavior was a cog not working in what would otherwise be a perfectly realized dream. A perfect family.

Koutaro wants to know who Tenko was with today, and why he’s late. Tenko tells him he was with his usual friends. Koutaro wants to know if he was hanging out with a homeless man Tenko knows, whom he doesn’t like. Tenko, still confused from what he saw today and having no desire to tell lies his father would definitely see through anyway, deviates the questions by asking him why he cares.

“Tenko, you know I don’t like him.”

“Yeah, well, he’s my friend, so I’m the one who’s supposed to like him.”

“Stop joking around Tenko, you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t father, what is the problem?”

“Quit the sarcasm. You shouldn’t hang out with certain people, he’s a grown man. God knows how he ended up there.”

“Jin is not going to hurt me.”

“You can’t know that!”

“Father, for real, I wasn’t even with him today, I don’t get what’s the big deal-”

Koutaro hits his hand against his desk, and Tenko jumps. “Because I care about you, and I care about the image you give of yourself, and of this family! Think, for once, of someone else that isn’t you, Tenko! What if he hurt you, did you think of how scared we’d be? And what if he commits some crime, and that affects your image? Or your sister’s? Have you thought about that? Your sister is going to be applying for university soon, she can’t have a single smudge on her record, and neither can you. You can’t ruin your future out of a stupid decision. You can’t go out with certain people, I forbid it.”

“But-”

“No but. Your family should always come first, Tenko. Always. Quit playing hero and grow up for once.”

They keep fighting, eventually Tenko snaps and tells him that his friend’s “bad influence” isn’t the reason he’s late, it’s because he stopped to watch a Hero fight. “There, you happy now?!”

Koutaro, furious, but cold, orders Tenko to go out. Tenko storms out and leaves, knowing fully well what those words mean. He passes through the living room, where the rest of the family watches him with resignation and sorry looks, his mother smiling encouragingly. Tenko exits in the backyard, their old dog, Mon, following him with habit, and slams the sliding door shut into the dark night, stomach still empty.

He sits on the porch, his back to the glass door. He can hear the evening progressing, the rest of the family watching TV, Koutaro joining them and chatting quietly, Hana’s chirp comments, his mother’s and grandparents’ gentle voices.

Mon’s head on his lap, he caresses the old dog’s fur absently, scratching his neck with his other hand. “Always stuck here, uh, Mon? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Tenko can, more or less, perceive animals’ feelings, even though in their case it is more like a vibe. Despite being weaker, it is a much cleaner feeling to perceive, and the dog’s serene vibes console Tenko’s frustrated heart.

Eventually, the rest of the family heads to bed. He can hear his mother asking quietly if she can let him in, but he hears his father refusing. He messed up big by telling him about the hero fight. Likely, as it had started to happen more often lately, Koutaro himself will come downstairs later in the night to allow his son in.

The night comes down, and Tenko warms his hands on Mon’s fluffy fur.

Eventually, he hears a soft thump, and he turns to see his older sister, now almost eighteen, landing elegantly from a jump out her bedroom window thanks to the help of “float”, carrying a sandwich and with a consoling smile on her face. Her long black hair is loose, shining to the moonlight.

“My god Tenko, you really suck at keeping secrets.”

“Shut up Hana.”

“Yeah yeah, eat, you must be starving. You should be grateful, I snatched this as soon as you two started shouting.”

Tenko eats ravenously, and Hana asks him about that fight he apparently saw.

Tenko suddenly looks thoughtful again, remembering the bad feeling he felt coming from the Villain. Where was he now? Likely in a prison, waiting to be convicted.

He shares his doubts with his sister, but she looks unimpressed.

“Tenko, of course that guy was scared, don’t think too much about it! You don’t know what he did, you should be happy they got him.” Hana pulls out a pack of cigarettes from her jeans pocket, another thing carefully hidden from everyone in the house but Tenko, and asks: “Was it a cool fight? What heroes have you seen?”

Hana looks enthusiastic as Tenko shares the details. By now, she had already given up her old dream, having decided to respect her father’s wishes and go to a normal, prestigious highschool. However, she still liked heroes. She was just good at hiding it.

“Look, Tenko, I found another one in the school library!” She pulls out her phone, and shows him a picture of an old newspaper. On it is a small article next to a picture, a beautiful, dark haired woman smiling radiantly in it, hero costume worn proudly. “When I found it I couldn’t believe it! Our grandma seemed to avoid the TV and the internet at all costs, but there are still some papers about her by the time of her debut!”

Tenko looks at the picture. Nana Shimura was still like an idol to Hana, while Tenko can’t help but tie her face to the memory of their father beating him, a long time ago. He still remembers Koutaro’s feelings in that moment. So confused, so many, and so… threatening.

However, he smiles at Hana. He can tell she’s sincerely happy to be discovering things about her. The woman was incredibly secretive for being a hero. She was older than All might though, from an era before heroes turned into celebrities. He looks at her cigarette.

“When will you let me try?”

“When you grow out of your diapers.”

“As if you weren’t younger than me when you started!”

“I was younger and smarter.”

“Hey!”

“Come on, Tenko, you know you can’t hide a thing. You’re too honest.”

“I’m not!”

“You are, and it’s not a bad thing. You’re…”

Hana looks at a loss of words for a moment. “What you did with dad earlier was stupid but… I must admit that you got some crazy guts.”

(Hana found out the day of the picture that she’s not as selfless as she’d like. She’s convinced herself that she’s better at lying than being herself in front of others, and so keeps preserving her image of perfection in front of her family and at school. However, she vowed the day she bought that keychain for Tenko, she promised herself that she’d protect him, at least, at all costs. His will, his impulsiveness. His honesty.)

She ruffles his hair. “Stay my stupid brave little brother forever, okay?”

Tenko pouts. Then asks “So you’ll never tell mom and dad that you smoke?”

“No way, not even when I’m older.” She smiles at him.

They hear steps from the stairs. Hana quickly gets up and flies up to her window, and Tenko is finally let in at 1 am in the morning.

He gets to bed still fully dressed, too tired to change. He stares at the ceiling for a while, until he pulls out something from under his mattress. A UA flyer bent and wrinkled from being hidden all the time and so often.

He looks at it absently.

“I want to be a hero who never looks away at someone’s pain…” He thinks to himself. The image of the Villain from today, his crazed, desperate eyes as he ran and used his quirk to hit and destroy anything he could, like a savage animal, and that terror as the heroes attacked him, came to mind.

“...But what does that mean?”

Tenko wakes up on Saturday feeling like shit, still dressed. It is way too early, the sun has just started to rise.

Slowly, he gets up, changes quietly, and gets out of the house.

He needs to clear his head, he barely slept thinking about what he saw yesterday. From the nice neighbourhood he lives in, he takes the less polished streets, until he reaches a small park filled with homeless people, looking for Jin.

Jin (Twice, even though Tenko doesn’t know that. He has no idea Jin is a Villain.) is there, warming up to the morning’s chill close to a firepit, his clones all around, busy putting away a tent.

When Jin sees him, he smiles welcomingly.

“Aren’t brats supposed to be home at this hour?”

“Welcome!” “Go away!”

As usual, the clones always give different opinions than the original Jin. Tenko is welcomed to sit next to the firepit.

“Are you guys leaving?”

“Yeah, we weren’t planning on staying long anyway. It was nice though, you’re good company.”

“Wasn’t I a brat just a moment ago?”

“Hah! Of course you are, but my standards for conversation are pretty low, I don’t know if you understand.” He says, pointing at his very annoyed copies. Jin’s copies were so weird to Tenko, somehow their auras all felt like Jin’s, yet they all had their own individual perspectives and reactions.

“However, what brings you here? I thought your old man didn’t like me. Did he throw you out the whole night?”

“Not yet. Where are you going next?”

“A man ought to have his secrets, kid.”

“Fine. I’ll miss you.”

“You knew me for about a month.”

“Yeah, and it was a nice month.”

Jin is quiet after that, busy eating from a can with a spoon. His expression is serious.

“Listen kid, you’re going to high school next year, right?”

“Yup. Why?”

“Any plans in particular?”

“... I was thinking about trying with UA.”

Jin rolls his eyes. “Of course you are. Kids are all the same.”

“Why do you ask?”

“...Shimura, why do you want to be a hero?”

“Huh?”

“Doesn’t that father of yours hate their guts?”

Tenko is quiet for a while. “...I don’t know. I just… I just really hate when people suffer and nobody does anything, you know? I wish I could make someone feel like their suffering matters.”

“...”

“...You know, I saw my first Villain yesterday.”

At that, Jin raises his eyes, eyebrows high. He gives Tenko a sardonic smile. “Really? Was it what you expected?”

“...No. It was so weird, you know? Everyone was staring like they were in a movie theater, cheering and all, it didn’t feel like there was any real danger. The heroes arrived so fast, guy was surrounded in a moment. I felt sad, he looked so… overpowered. Like he had no hope to begin with.”

Jin has an uncharacteristically serious expression. Suddenly, he speaks again. “In this world, only the righteous and well meaning have a right to be saved. You’re a good kid. I don’t know what your father’s deal is, also because he kind of sounds like an asshole, but I think he’s right. Trust me, with a dream like that, you’re no good in a hero school.”

“Why would you say that? You don’t think I could make it?”

“I don’t know if you could, but I know you won’t fulfill your wish that way.”

“...”

Jin laughs. “Look at me, talking all serious as if thinking was my strong suit! Eheh…”

“Do you think I’m being a hypocrite?” Tenko suddenly asks.

“Huh?”

“Do you think it’s hypocritical of me to want to be a hero if it’d make my dad suffer?”

“How would I know? Ask your mom.” He gets up. “Well. We ought to go. Glad I saw you one last time, kid. Now go home, wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”

Not knowing what to do, he does go to his mother. He doesn’t exactly tell her that his view of heroes is starting to change and he’s not sure he knows what his childhood dream entails anymore. But she gets him, more or less. She’s an empath too, she doesn’t need to know everything to know he’s struggling. Just being with her (he offers to help with chores to have an excuse to talk to her), comforts him. Not just because of her Quirk.

She, of course, thinks the problem is yesterday’s fight with Koutarou. So she kindly tells her son that maybe seeing things from another perspective may help get a better grasp at his own.

Tenko knows what she means, and scoffs. “He never tries to look at mine, why should I be the one who does?”

His mother ruffles his hair and smiles kindly.

“Your father loves you more than anything, Tenko. You’re more alike than you think. You didn’t inherit that stubborn head of yours from me!”

“Tenko, what I’m trying to say is not that you’ll change your mind… just that things might appear a little clearer if you give your father a chance.”

“Mh”

Nao gives his grumbling son a kiss on the head.

Tenko thinks about this. And when the school term finishes, he decides.

He’s going to try to challenge his views on Heroes by knowing his father better. So he accepts an internship at the family company for the summer (Koutaro’s been trying to convince him to come for years). Koutaro is happy that Tenko finally accepted his guidance.

The weeks of summer pass. Koutaro and Tenko end up spending pretty much every day together. Koutaro is not much of a chatterbox, but neither is Tenko, really. They spend their lunch breaks together. Koutaro hands Tenko the newspaper pages he’s done with while they eat.

For once, Koutaro is proud of him. Tenko can feel it irradiating from him. It’s nice. This is the calmest, most peaceful period of the Shimura household.

Spending so much time with Koutaro, Tenko does, in the end, develop a new understanding for his father. Tenko’s Quirk works so that the more he knows a person, the better he can read their feelings. Slowly, the ball of poison in his father’s heart starts to unravel, and Tenko understands the depth of his father’s fear of being alone. Tenko gets that. Yeah, it sucks when you feel like you’re alone. Father must have suffered so much when his mom abandoned him.

When he indulges in Hana’s recounting of her secret research on their grandma in her room, he’s left with a bad taste in his mouth.

He gains a new appreciation for his family, and by working with him at the company also of the sacrifices Koutaro made for them.

The itch though won’t go away. It burns back any time he feels like talking to his father about his dream, how it’s changing, about his thoughts, about how annoying and snobbish the sons of his colleagues are, every time he feels like he can’t explain to him why he likes his own friends better. Any time he feels like telling him the truth, but knows this peace they achieved doesn’t feel safe enough to do so.

Deep down, he doesn’t want to ruin this.

At night, Tenko keeps doing secret research on the system. He finds out that it pretty much self feeds the conflict between heroes and villains without really investing in preventing crime, or rehabilitation. Once you’re a Villain, you’re a Villain forever, and many just go back to do crime once their sentence is finished. Not that social stigma gave them much choice. He investigates propaganda and its mechanics, on the HPSC. He starts to gather all the articles he can find on Villains.

Koutaro eventually finds his material, UA flyer included, and accuses him of lying to him. Of “betrayal” if you will.

“I thought you were finally listening, I thought I finally got you to understand, and yet here you are-“

Tenko comes back home to find, horrified, all his stuff waiting for him on the dining room table, his father furious. The rest of the family has faces that vary from resignation to compassion for Tenko, to a little bit of fear.

“I am understanding dad, I really am- I know you suffered. I want to make you justice. I’m seeing you. Please, please, you have to trust me!”

Tenko decides he might as well come clean. He’s not lying. Maybe he can make him understand. He took the first step after all, right? He’s desperate to be understood.

“Let me be a hero. I’ll be better than them. I’ll make it better. I promise.”

Despite his newfound distaste for the system, Tenko still hasn’t given up on the world. He’s seen it, with his friends at school, sometimes all it takes is giving people a space where they can be themselves. Where they feel seen for who they are. He knows it now.

That’s the kind of Hero he wants to be.

For everyone. For his father too.

Koutaro doesn’t accept this, the fight escalates.

Koutaro eventually loses control and slaps Tenko again. Hard.

The kid hits his face against the edge of a table and his lip breaks, bleeding profusely. (like the scar he has in canon). It falls on his chin, stains his shirt and hands.

They are both stunned, and everything is silent.

Everyone in the house is watching.

The whole of the family, Hana included, is petrified by surprise and terror.

To Tenko’s Quirk, everything feels so confused, so overwhelming. His heart is like a lump in his chest, heavy and filled with everyone’s fear. His father’s anger. His own.

His own resentment. Nothing changed. Hana’s looking at him from the other side of the room, petrified, in tears. So do the others. His mom looks so sorry.

Tenko has had it.

He snaps. And it all finally comes in the open. Fuck compassion, fuck understanding, fuck living under rules that protect everyone but him.

He yells at Koutaro he’s nothing but a selfish man who pretends to be doing everything for them, when in reality all he does is protect himself. He says he wants what’s best for them, he wants them happy, well guess what, we’re all miserable, “and it’s your fault!”

Tenko turns to the rest of the family. They are silent. He turns back to his father, who’s speechless.

Koutaro breaks the silence, and tells him that if he doesn’t like his rules he’s free to go.

How funny. Like Tenko didn’t know that that would be the worst thing he could do to Koutaro.

Abandon him.

The rest of the family is still quiet. The lump in Tenko’s heart is growing heavier.

“Then I’ll go.”

And he starts walking.

As he’s about to cross the door, Koutaro seems to realize that he’s serious, and suddenly grabs him by the shoulder. It is a strong grip, and Tenko suddenly feels with his Quirk a deep, childish desperation that the man behind him refuses to voice. Coming straight from that poisonous stain in his heart.

He can’t stand being under that tempest anymore. He can’t stand having to bear its weight anymore.

He turns, and fully knowing what he’s doing, tells him that he hates him, and that he’d gladly be anywhere else than under the same roof as him.

Koutaro is deeply hurt and angry, so is Tenko. He’s let go and told not to come back.

The rest of the family finally acts and tries to stop them, but Tenko is already out. And doesn’t turn around.

From here on, Tenko is by himself on the streets. A school dropout, struggling to survive, feeling useless. He couldn’t save anyone. He was nothing but a hypocrite.

he had used his quirk to hurt someone, his own father. In his most vulnerable spot, nonetheless. He has hurt everyone. He won’t dare show his face back again.

It was him. It was always him.

The broken cog, his father was right. He’s the cause of all trouble. He was selfish and stupid.

How could he think himself so special he’d be the Hero who never ignores someone else’s pain, he couldn’t even respect his own father’s.

He won’t go back.

(Despite blaming himself, he still really wishes the rest of the family would have helped.)

*Of course his family is crushed, they try to get him back, they call the police and everything. Eventually they hear from Tenko who communicates to them that he has no intention of coming back. And that he’s sorry.

But if they won’t help him, then he has to find his own way. (He doesn’t tell them that he secretly feels they’d be better off without him. After all, the period of time where he stopped being himself was when the house’s aura was calmer. His itch was his own, always had been.)

During his years alone in the streets, he lets go of the ideal of the lone, inspiring hero he’s been taught in school.

He takes a good look at himself. At all the privileges he always had, safety, people who would protect him, status, and fully learns what life is like without these things. How hard it is to get support outside of family and connections.

A long time passes.

He slowly builds something for himself. He knows many villains and outcasts in his time as homeless, he makes friends who help him out.

He finds work in an illegal bar, gains enough money to manage to join a programming course. He gets his hands dirty, sometimes has to do things he’s not proud of to survive.

In his twenties, he gets back in contact with Hana, his mom and grandparents, but with his father things are still complicated. Koutaro won’t forgive him for leaving. Tenko isn’t proud of the intentions he did so either, but refuses to be the one who takes the first step again.

Maturing, he’s learned that having access to people’s most intimate feelings means nothing, in the end. It’s people’s trust, their desire to share with you, and the fact that people are willing to listen, that really shows change. That really helps. And to do that, people must feel like they’re all on the same level. Like they are respected and acknowledged. Like what they feel and say matters to the one they’re speaking with.

But that takes time. It can’t be done on the battlefield.

He has many contacts in the underworld, and works as a freelance journalist to share stories of isolation, discrimination, poverty that lead to villainy. He also takes programming commissions and such. Sometimes streams, cuz why not. It all helps gaining influence.

So he becomes the kind of hero he wants to be: not a fighter, not a saviour, just the kind of guy who speaks when he sees bullshit, who’s always there for you even at your lowest point, who won’t judge and will offer you company without invasive questions.

He’s not pure, his actions (the people he doesn’t report, or sometimes even hides) are not fully lawful, or absolutely right. But his work is meaningful, even if it means being hated by the public.

He’s starting to gain people’s attention due to his disrespectful attitude and characteristic dry sarcasm.

“Where there’s a rash, let them scratch”

#by the way the last quote comes from Dante's paradise #the original quote is something like dove c'è la rogna lascia che si grattino #it means that if people feel offended at what authors say #if it makes them itch #then maybe they're the ones with an ill skin #it's not the author's words that are wrong #and I when I read that I was like oh god if he ever became an activist #that would be such a tomura thing to say #he's such an asshole #by the way if any of the things you read here feel iffy and morally questionable they're meant that way #I wanted Tenko to have what Deku didn't (being allowed to be selfish and have ugly reactions sometimes)#His actions are not meant to be read as absolutely good and nice at all #and neither is his perspective on things #but honestly I'd relate more to a person like this than Deku #because Deku is a perfect angel who's never distasteful in any way and that's boring #while this version of Tenko is literally some rich kid having daddy issues #and is actually thinking hard about heroism and what place he wants to have in society #and the answers ends up being none #just so you know I did imagine that Tenko and Koutaro would kinda reconcile at some point #maybe at Hana's wedding and such #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #tomura shigaraki #bnha critical #mha critical #au idea #fanfic #shimura koutaro #shimura nana #shimura family

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