#batman: wait a minute...

[dandeliont3aandsageleaves]

You know that thing with parents where everything is fine until their kid is suddenly quiet?

Do you think whenever the comms go silent Batman breaks out into a cold sweat and demands a status update?

[prlssprfctn]

On Bruce's birthday, Jason gifts him a self-made intellectual game in a "resolve this case" style that contains a secret prize. And Bruce? Bruce loves it. He always likes resolving mysteries (you have no idea how many times he reread Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christi) and it is finally so refreshing to work on something... fun and not threatening others' lives! And there will be another prize as a reward? That's great! Brilliant, even.

The problem? Bruce absolutely overthinks the whole thing and instead of finding an obvious answer, he starts plotting insane theories and spiralling in the rabbit hole.

Jason, slightly anxious but hopeful: So, had you resolved it? Did you find what was the victim's last words? Bruce, running on 55 cups of coffee, with a mischievous glint in his eyes: Oh, Jaylad, don't even start. I am thinking between the theory regarding Russian spies and involvement of Epstein. Jason, double-checking his father's state, with smile switching on growl: What.

Bruce is so entertained and sucked into the drama of the fake case that he doesn't even realise that Jason is awfully close to throwing the whole tantrum. Because he didn't just put all his heart into this stupid surprise answer for Bruce to went in a complete opposite direction???

Dick, amused: He is so distracted that he refused going patrolling today and sent us. I can't. This is hilarious. Jason, kicking rocks in frustration: I might as well kill Joker while he is at it. He probably won't even notice. Damian: So, Todd, what is the secret surprise that you are so... hysterical? Jason: Nothing! It is nothing! I don't care! Tim, who looked at the case once and figured the answer out instantly: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.

Jason, a one week after, sitting on the tea ceremony with Alfred: Let me guess, old man is still hadn't figured out the mystery behind the case? Alfred: I am afraid he went... slightly aboard with the capacity of his imagination, master Jason. Now, if you allow me to ask... What was the surprise hidden in the victim's last words? Jason, sniffling: It was supposed to be "I love you, Dad. Can I return home?" Alfred: Alfred: You want to say that I could have my grandson back home a week ago, and we could already arrange and decorate you a new room, and have you over on every dinner, if your father wasn't this... complicated? Jason: Uh, I guess? Jason: Also, why did you just call him my father and not master Bruce... Alfred, standing up to take a riffle: Right now he is not my master. Just your father. Jason: Uh, Alfie????

[reyislikesotired]

grayson, ready to go in guns blazing: mama didn't raise no bitch

duke, trying to descale the situation: no no mama raised a bitch, we're going

tim, tired and wanting to get it over with: mama didn't raise no one actually, mom was absent

[imheretoreadafic]

Gordon, in a super epic voice: "Do you think the streets will ever be clean, Batman?" *turns around*

23 year old Batman, who tried to do his disappearing act, but his cape got stuck in the window he came in: *Eyes wide and what little can be seen of his face bright red*

Gordon in a soft dad voice: "Oh, did you get stuck, Batman?"

Batman: *sad nod and grunt*

Gordon helping him get his cape unstuck: "It's alright, son, mistakes happen. I'll turn around, and you can try again - how does that sound?"

Batman, who is very obviously three seconds away from a breakdown: "Thank you..."

[sisaloofafump]

An encounter during their training days…

Style study of Superman: The Odyssey (1999) which has one single panel of Clark walking past Bruce in Bhutran. Original art by Graham Nolan (pencils & inks) and Noelle Giddings & Digital Chameleon (colours):

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[outtamynoggin]

Bruce Wayne: Attention Thief

Tim: You know.. the more I think about it, the more unreasonable this is.

Jason: What?

Tim: I keep thinking about how reliant Bruce is on Dick and how Dick always replies in kind.

Jason: So what? Roses are red, violets are blue, get to the part where you say something new.

Tim: No, but I found Dick FIRST. I was the one who admired him. I was the one chasing him through newspapers, TV clips, and across Gotham’s rooftops. I was the one who met him first when Bruce was off brooding somewhere else! I was and AM the one who hangs out with him!

Jason: ...You're... starting to sound a little jealous.

Tim: I sound like someone who put in all the effort and should be reaping the rewards! By all logic, he should be dependent on me!

Jason: Tim. Buddy. You’re trying to out-obsess Bruce Wayne. Do you hear yourself? You’re one overly dramatic monologue away from becoming the next big villain if you continue.

Tim: *offended*

Jason: *shrugging*

Tim: ...You would know.

[meltedcheesetoast]

I like being on vacation IM FREE

[welcometothedaddyissuescult]

quite honestly if bruce doesn’t want to kill the joker, the best way for him to deal with him and ensure he never hurts anyone ever again is to build an underground one room bunker that’s soundproof and made of lead in the middle of the sahara or the amazon, drop his ass inside with like 100ish years worth of supplies, weld the door shut, and then walk away. he never tells anyone what he’s done and he never writes it down anywhere. that information lives only in his head because he knows no one will ever be able to torture that information out of him. i think the only person he might have to give a vague heads up to is superman. because if clark sees a underground bunker made of lead he’s definitely checking it out. so, i think bruce would just be like

bruce: hey, clark, just so you know there is an underground bunker in the middle of the amazon and it’s made of lead and it contains the most dangerous thing on the planet. it must never be opened.

and because it’s clark, he would be like: do you know what exactly is inside it?

bruce: yes.

clark: and to keep the world safe, i just have to do nothing and ignore it?

bruce: yes.

clark: okay.

eventually everyone would forget about the joker and on his deathbed, he’d tell dick about the bunker and dick would tell jason. together dick and jason would go and pry it open and just see a very old joker laying in his bed still laughing and without blinking jason would just shoot him in the head, they would reseal the bunker, leave, and never discuss it again.

but that will never happen because of bruce’s dogmatic and immovable morality. he will always catch the joker, he will always give him a trial, and he will always send him back to arkham. but if i got control of dc comics i would make him do this.

[mikakuna]

thoughts about time travel shenanigans where robin jason and bruce are thrust into the future and find themselves on a rooftop during a stormy night? because listen.

they both find themselves on this random rooftop in gotham, but they're not alone because right in front of them is batman of this year and a man wearing a red helmet. this wouldn't have raised much of a concern-- they probably could've just asked the future bruce what happened and how to get home-- except this batman is more violent than jay or bruce anticipated. they watch, stunned, as this batman repeatedly rains his heavy fist down on the other man's face, chest, ribs, and wherever else he can reach.

they watch as the man with the red helmet struggles weakly, consciousness slowly leaving him, before they catch sight of his face in the crack of his hood. both jay and bruce realize at the same time who it is-- that this is future jason despite the hard lines and large ragged body so different from jay's own.

the realization hits right there-- that bruce is beating down on jason more violently than batman has handled any villain.

the bruce of the past feels it before he sees it-- his jay flinching away from him and his tiny hand ripping away from his cape in fear. bruce looks down at his son, his child, and sees the absolute terror in his eyes. after all, why wouldn't jay be so upset? didn't bruce promise never to lay a hand on him like so many adults in his young life already have? didn't bruce swear, crouched down in front of his little boy and gently holding his hands, that he would keep him safe now?

and yet as they stare at each other with horror-filled eyes, the jason of this time finally loses consciousness as his bruce drags him away by the cracks of his helmet, bloody knuckles pressed over his swollen eyelids.

bruce distantly remembers the way jay had shyly called him dad just two days ago. now, he stares as his sweet boy takes a trembling step back, tears threatening to spill down his wide eyes. bruce doesn't think he's hated himself more.

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Every member of the batfamily smokes like a chimney and they all pretend they Do Not except for Jason who knows they all smoke

[nixotinix]

wow i sure was in that rogues zine wasn't i

wowee look at my pieces there they are they're right there

[greenfrogartist]

Fanart for @the-stove-is-divorced fanfic called kintsugi on ao3! An amazing character study of Batman and what makes him himself, def recommend reading

[bowditch]

what he says:

what he means:

[labyrinth-guardian]

Im watching batman 2004. and. I'm sorry but was no one gonna tell me that

The penguin is voiced by Tom Kenny, aka SPONGEBOB?!

The Riddler. THE RIDDLER. Is played by none other than Robert Englund. FREDDY KRUEGER. AND IT FITS PERFECTLY.

John Dimaggio does Rhino and Mugsy... Bender takes a break from package delivery to go do some much needed crime

ADDITIONALLY. Wesker and Scarface are played by Dan Castellaneta. HOMER SIMPSON?! Apparently the whole Scarface gang is from Matt Groening shows

Oh the joy when I first heard the mayors voice... ITS ADAM WEST. The og batman

[rob1ns]

Reese gets a front row seat to Jason's last straw