#brain damage and trauma and also traumatic brain damage

[souji-upseta]

i rly need to use discord more but it's haaaarrrrrd and idk why (i know exactly why and it sucks but i wanna make that Why my fucking bitch)

this means that if u see this you are obligated to tell me to get my ass on discord and harrass me there incessantly (but gently, and without the demand of an expectation) to go fuckin talk to my friends who i love and who love me.

also add me on discord if u want. just dm me. always open if we're moots. if i don't wanna add you on discord or don't want to talk to you i'll just tell you lol.

i rly want to get over this and talk to my friends and be more social and get out of my "comfort" zone (scarequotes bc it's not comfortable here and in fact kinda sucks and reeks of FOMO)

help a bro out? 💪🏻

[arthropodboy]

Wow people really do be being biphobic in our lords year of 2025... I cannot imagine watching the western world fall to facism (while living in the western world) and still putting time and energy into creating division in the queer community. Like. Your human rights are in major peril. What the fuck are you talking about.

[eyebawll]

⦻ JEFFREY WOODS ⦻

⦻ interp and headcanons⦻

art by unpanzito here on tumblr — warning for mentions of abuse, mental illness, SH, obsession, and overall dark topics.

Because of how important Jeff's original story was (and still is) to me as a child, I have many things from the original creator's "canon". While his original story is being fleshed out with my personal ideas, I've mocked up what else I worked out for him. This is pretty long, and some grammar might be messy since I've been working on this all night and morning, and some things might be a bit redundant because my brain slipped a lot, but I hope y'all like my interp!!

PSYCHOLOGY

From the outside point of view, he could be seen as "edgy" or the classic "insane and unhinged"—although there is a perfectly logical and psychological reason as to why.

This is where the term "joker reject" comes into play. But he isn't a copycat or "rip off" of anything. He was just a boy (now man) full of anguish and trauma. His mind is a sheer maelstrom of chaos and pain.

His memory, while useful on occasion, is often full of re-runs of his past, his kills, or straight up blacked out. This affects his daily life, but unfortunately, it's a way for his damaged brain to protect itself—even if there isn't anything to protect itself from.

He never saw a professional, but if he were to see one, he would be diagnosed with the following:

Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA), Schizoaffective Disorder, C-PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), BPD, Erotomania, Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, and possibly Antisocial Personality Disorder.

PBA is the condition is a neurological disorder causing uncontrollable outbursts of laughing or crying unrelated to actual emotions, much like Arthur Fleck from the 2019 Joker.

He laughs, and sometimes cries, at random periods of time. In the middle of conversations (good or bad), while mouthing off to somebody, or even when he's just on his own. It often contradicts his own emotions, which is the entire point of the condition. It is often caused by chronic illnesses, but also traumatic brain injury—which is similar to his case.

His conditions are influenced by years of abuse (neglect, verbal, psychological, physical) and the untreated aftermath of such abuse. His full backstory is not fully fleshed out in my Slenderverse, not yet, but it does heavily involve the original theme of his story—although with harsher tones.

His severe mental decline is what led to his classic appearance now. He doesn't care about his own personal hygiene or how he appears to others. It's likely that the reason for his self-mutilation was because of a manic or dissociative episode. He became an image of his self hatred and rage and has lived in it ever since. This also includes the bleach.

The pain from the knife mutilating his face was nothing compared to the emotional and psychological distress he suffered. The taste of his own blood, the sharpness of the blade, the burn from the bleach—it all gave him a thrill.

“They love me. They just don’t know how to say it yet. But I can help them.”

His erotomania is another condition formed by his severe trauma, a defense mechanism twisted into delusion. When real affection was absent—when his touches were met with flinching, his words ignored, and his presence treated like a stain—his mind began to fill in the blanks. He started mistaking glances for desire, kindness for intimacy, and silence for hidden longing. To him, love isn’t a mutual experience. It’s a story he tells himself to survive.

And when that fantasy is threatened—when the person doesn’t “play along”—he doesn’t understand. He thinks they’re being manipulated, or scared, or punished by the world for loving him. So he acts. Possessively. Violently.

He believes obsession is love. That hurting someone else for them proves his devotion. That keeping them close—even if they scream—is mercy. Because he remembers what it felt like to be alone. And he swore he’d never go back there.

He's fascinated by death. Not just as a killer, but as an observer. Will sit by a corpse and talk to it. Will ask questions.

He mocks or intimidates people just to feel in control, especially those who remind him of authority figures, or bullies.

He lives compulsively, even when he doesn’t need to. It’s a defense. A game.

Alexithymia traits. He struggles to identify his own emotions, often expressing them as rage or laughter instead.

Auditory hallucinations. Not just voices, but noises. Static, dripping, heartbeats, or echoing footsteps.

Visual hallucinations. Faces in the mirror, eyes in the dark. Possibly tied to guilt or past victims.

Time distortion. Doesn’t always register days passing; he gets “stuck” in loops, especially after kills.

Somatic flashbacks. Physical responses (like nausea, chest tightness) triggered by smells, words, certain lighting.

Delusions of grandeur. Believes he’s a “chosen” figure, a monster with a divine or mythical purpose.

Body dysmorphia. Terrible dysmorphia. Sees himself as monstrous even in normal moments. May think his face is still burning.

Paranoia. This is already obvious, but it can be its own section as well. Thinks he’s being watched or followed, even by allies. Hates mirrors partly because of this.

HABITS

Growing up, there were strict lines Jeff wasn’t allowed to cross—whether by fear, by rules, or by emotional suffocation. He was told what to wear, what to listen to, how to act, and what kind of boy he should be. He wasn’t allowed to feel angry, only quiet. Not to cry. Not to talk back. He obeyed, until he couldn’t anymore.

Now everything he wasn’t allowed to do has become part of him—an act of rebellion and freedom.

He smokes like his lungs don’t matter. Sometimes cigarettes, sometimes weed—anything that dulls the noise or turns it into a slow static. He never used to inhale properly. Now he lets it burn.

He drinks until it stings his teeth and settles in his stomach like acid. He likes the feeling of spinning—it reminds him of losing control without the violence. He is a hardcore alcoholic because of this.

He blasts music—abrasive, bass-heavy, industrial or screeching metal. It’s noise that mirrors his insides. The lyrics don’t always make sense, but the rage does.

He breaks things for fun—mirrors, phones, whatever’s close. The crashing sound is almost comforting.

He watches violent horror movies obsessively. Not because he enjoys the gore—but because it feels familiar. The silence before the screams. The tension. Okay, maybe a little bit of gore.

Even the clothes he wears—bloodstained, scorched, too tight or too big—are a rejection of the boy he used to be. He's a mess on purpose. No one tells him what to be anymore.

He self-harms in multiple ways; carving symbols, biting his fingers, digging nails into skin. His pain is his power source.

Starves or binges randomly. Food control as self-punishment or reward. Often forgets to eat at all. He may have an eating disorder.

Lets grime build up. Refuses to shower unless it’s for symbolic reasons. Greasy hair, dirty hands, sweat-soaked clothes.

Destroys mirrors. He can’t stand his reflection. They’re either broken or turned to face the wall.

They said he was too sensitive. Too dramatic. Too broken.

So he became all of it, Loud and disgusting. Impossible to ignore.

Graffiti and vandalism. Leaves behind messages, symbols, his own name. Wants to be remembered and feared.

Sleeps in random places. Rooftops, train stations, abandoned houses, closets. Never the same place twice or for too long.

Walks barefoot in unsafe places. Glass, concrete, mud. Pain equals reality and control.

Watches disturbing content. Autopsies, crime scene footage, true crime interviews.

Studies old medical books or anatomy charts for fun or for precision. He likes knowing what everything does… and how to ruin it.

Keeps items that meant something once; a burned-out lighter, a charm bracelet, a cracked CD player. He can’t let go, even if he forgets why.

Talks to people who aren’t there; past victims, old versions of himself, imaginary lovers.

Acts out scenes he wishes happened; arguments, apologies, fantasies of someone choosing him. Over and over until it’s “right.”

Makes himself bleed on purpose during full moons, storms, or birthdays, personal holidays. Dates that meant something.

Whispers “go to sleep” to himself when he wants to disappear—not from others, but from himself.

Keeps trophies from victims, jewelry, phones, bloody photos, torn clothing. Sometimes he talks to them.

Writes obsessively in old notebooks, walls, or on his skin. Sometimes poetry, sometimes nonsense. Sometimes he writes love letters never sent.

Keeps fingernails uneven on purpose. One hand jagged, the other trimmed. For scratching vs. control.

Picks at scabs and scars. Compulsive, self-soothing. Doesn’t care if they bleed.

Eats raw things. Sometimes uncooked meat, sometimes just out of lack of care. It’s about texture and instinct.

Talks to knives. Names them. Ascribes personalities. The one he used “the first time” is the only one he won't let anyone else touch.

Sleeps with music playing. Usually violent or distorted. Silence is terrifying. He needs noise to feel real.

Steals clothes from his victims. Wears them over his own, sometimes sleeps in them.

Has a favorite victim type. Not by appearance, but by emotional pattern: kind, lonely, easily flustered.

Draws childish or surreal things. Stick figures, spirals, things with too many teeth. Sometimes cute animals crossed out violently.

Carries around odd tokens. Buttons, a cracked watch, a piece of stained lace. He doesn’t know why anymore.

Talks about himself in third person when dissociating.

Smiles at corpses, tries to force their mouths into smiles too, sometimes.

Breaks his own fingers during panic attacks—has to snap something.

Scratches walls while walking, especially in tight spaces.

Doesn’t like being touched on the neck, will react instantly and violently.

Has a favorite knife and a backup. The backup is duller on purpose.

Breath-holding when stressed; He’ll unconsciously hold his breath for too long. Has passed out before.

Chronic insomnia. Sleeps in 2-3 hour bursts if at all. Wakes up mid-scream or mid-laughter.

Uses broken glass as tools. Doesn’t always rely on knives. Glass, rusted metal, and even his own nails are tools.

Hoarding behavior. Keeps random trash with sentimental weight. Broken headphones. Gum wrappers. A single shoelace.

Blood letting “calendars”. Scratches tally marks in the wall or on himself to count something. Sometimes doesn’t remember what.

Animal mimicry; Growls. Snarls. Clicks his teeth. Especially when cornered or overstimulated.

Echolalia. Repeats the last word or phrase others say, mockingly or mechanically, like a broken tape recorder.

Burn fetishes. Lights fire just to watch it, sometimes burns his fingertips to feel something.

Writes coded messages, in spirals, backwards writing, or made-up alphabets. Claims it’s just “something pretty.”

Scent-based memory; Smells like bleach, rust, cigarettes. Associates smells with people or events. Uses that to “track” feelings.

Talks to corpses like they’re roommates. May leave them posed, put things near them, even apologize to them before sleeping nearby.

Jeff is, in clinical terms, a mission-oriented disorganized serial killer with strong psychosis and delusional fixations. He doesn’t just snap—he builds. He stalks, imagines, crumbles, and strikes. His kills aren’t random, but the reason why he kills can shift depending on his mental state that day.

Stalking habits: He doesn’t stalk in a traditional way. He lurks. Observes. Sometimes from outside a window, sometimes for weeks. He might leave cryptic things behind—dead animals, broken belongings, a stolen shirt returned with cuts in it. To him, it’s flirting.

Rituals before killing: Might clean a knife obsessively, recite phrases, smear something on himself (blood, ash, paint). It's compulsive and grounding.

After kills: May fall into a depressive or manic state, laugh uncontrollably, or whisper apologies. May not remember the kill. May treat the body like it’s still alive.

Treats each kill like a “love letter”; Often leaves behind messages, drawings, or carefully posed bodies.

Places fingers over victims’ mouths before killing. “Shhh. Don’t ruin the moment.”

Has to be seen by the victim before killing. Needs their recognition. Their fear.

Will sometimes spare people who “remind him” of someone lost. Not out of mercy. More like confusion.

Will speak to the victim as if they’re already dead during stalking. “You don’t even know you’re gone yet.”

Seeks out intimate spaces. Bedrooms, bathrooms. Places people are vulnerable. It’s a form of control.

Triggers (Things that may drive him to violence)

Mockery. Being laughed at, especially about his voice, appearance, or mental health.

Perceived betrayal. Someone lying, ghosting, or “leaving” him in any way.

Authority or control. Someone trying to dominate him or talk down to him.

Romantic rejection. Especially if erotomania is involved. Even just brushing him off gently can snap the wire.

Touch without consent. Unexpected or forceful touch can bring flashbacks and instant violence.

Seeing someone cry because of him. It enrages him, but also deeply confuses him.

Being ignored mid-sentence. Makes him spiral. “Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.”

Clean, well-lit rooms. Reminds him of hospitals or places where he was “fixed.” Hates them.

Hearing certain songs. Especially childhood ones. Will freeze or start panicking if one comes on.

People pretending not to be afraid. He knows when someone’s faking. He’ll punish them for it.

Voice + Speech Patterns

Raspy yet deep—possibly due to damage from bleach, smoke, and screaming.

His laugh cuts into conversations like a glitch—high-pitched, breathy, or gasping.

May talk to himself mid-conversation, like correcting his own thoughts.

Speaks in second-person sometimes ("You told me you'd stay...but you lied, didn’t you?")

Mumbles or hums under his breath when anxious.

When in a “killing state,” he becomes dramatic—mocking, sing-songy, calm in a way that should be comforting, but isn't. Other times he's just plain erratic and unpredictable.

Jumps timelines mid-sentence: “You said you wouldn’t—no. You’re not her. You’re not her but you’re wearing her eyes.”

Mixes reality and delusion seamlessly: “You looked at me the same way she did. You remember her, right? The woman in the red coat. You have to remember her.”

(There was no woman in a red coat. Or maybe there was.)

Sudden volume shifts—whispers a sentence, then yells a word, or vice versa. Completely unpredictable.

Rambles to himself when no one’s listening. Mostly muttered reflections, self-corrections, or dissociation-induced thoughts: “Don’t twitch. She twitched. That’s how I knew she was lying. Liars twitch.”

Repeats phrases until they lose meaning: “Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep—” (tone changes from soothing to aggressive to frantic.)

Uses sickly-sweet tones while threatening: “Awww, don’t cry now. We were just starting to have fun.”

“You’ll be alright. Just pretend it’s love.”

Imitates other people mockingly–especially therapists, police, family: “’He just needs help.’ Yeah? Funny how they never helped, just shoved pills in my mouth and called me better.”

Laughs inappropriately mid-sentence or during emotional dialogue: “I didn’t mean to—heh—but you should’ve seen her face.”

Talks to his “love interests” like they’re already together even if they’re strangers: “You don’t need to talk. I know what you’re trying to say. I always do.”

Uses possessive pet names no matter how long he’s known the person: “Sweetheart,” “doll,” “my little angel,” “mine.”

Talks about love like a threat.

Talks in second or third person when distressed: “Jeff doesn’t like this.” / “You’re fine. You’re okay. You’re not even real right now.”

Shifts between sounding adult and sounding like a kid – sometimes mid-thought: “I said don’t touch me—!…sorry. Sorry. That just...reminded me.”

Counts under his breath when overstimulated or trying not to kill: “One, two, three, four…breathe. Breathe. Smile.”

He also has a number of repetitive phrases.

“Go to sleep.” (Of course.)

“Don’t flinch.” (Usually said to others. He hates flinching—it’s rejection.)

“Smile wider. No, wider.” (Sometimes said in the mirror. Or to victims.)

“She saw me. She saw me.”

“What was her name again?” (Said with disturbing fondness. Probably about someone he probably killed.)

Hiccuping or stammering under stress, especially when confronted with authority or a love interest.

Misuses idioms or metaphors. Says them wrong and gets angry when corrected: “Curiosity didn’t kill the cat. I did.”

Deliberate misnaming. Calls people by the wrong name or a nickname to confuse or belittle them.

“Triggered scripts”: Has memorized lines he repeats during certain emotional states, as if reading from a script.

Shifts into childish speech under high stress. Uses baby talk or whiny tones that abruptly cut back into his normal voice.

Refers to his knife as “his voice”: “She talks louder than I ever could.” Might even say it “sings.”

Repetition of traumatic phrases: “Why’d you make me do it?” or “Am I still beautiful, mommy?" Common during breakdowns.

THE SLENDERMANSION

Jeff’s presence in the mansion is like having a stray dog with rabies. Slenderman may tolerate him—not because he’s loyal, but because he’s useful.

He sees Slender as a god or fucked up father figure he both resents and depends on.

May get jealous of other proxies or feel replaced easily.

Doesn’t like being referred to as a pet or proxy, even if he acts like one.

Wanders in and out of the mansion, sleeps in the basement or roof. Often found where no one else dares to be.

Has no official room. His presence is found through blood trails, cigarette burns, or distant laughter.

Yes, smile dog is a companion in this interp.

Unspoken truce with other proxies. He has codes with them. Small gestures mean “stay away” or “help.”

Keeps bones or bones fragments in his corner of the Mansion. He may even “name” them.

Feral behavior if cornered inside the mansion. Will lash out and act like an animal until left alone.

Genuinely afraid of Slenderman when he’s in a “bad mood”. Thinks he can “hear” his thoughts sometimes.

Tolerates Sally. Hates being reminded of what he used to be. Might act like a big brother one day and violently distant the next.

Fights with Masky often. Projects authority figures onto him. Believes he’s a “wannabe cop.”

Jeff wanders like a feral dog. Nobody really knows when he’s there or not unless he makes his presence known.

Eats food others brought in, even if it’s half-eaten or obviously not his. Drinks cold coffee left out too long. Sometimes leaves his own blood in mugs and laughs about it.

Occasionally sits at the kitchen table at 3AM, talking to no one. If you acknowledge him, he won’t respond. But he knows you saw him.

He hoards stolen things from others in the mansion—Clockwork’s hoodies string, Toby's goggles, BEN’s broken controller. Not out of malice. Just because.

He carves names into the walls—sometimes of people in the house, sometimes unknown ones. Crosses out the ones who “left.”

Has a hiding spot only Smile Dog knows. If anyone finds it, he destroys it and relocates.

Despite his instability, he occasionally “trains” younger proxies in brutal, unorthodox ways—he’ll throw them into fear scenarios just to “toughen them up.” It’s a twisted sense of mentorship.

Slenderman keeps him on a long leash, metaphorically. He doesn’t follow orders unless he feels like it, but when he does, it’s with disturbing overkill.

BEN and Jeff have a rivalry, like siblings forced to share a room. BEN trolls him, Jeff responds physically—ripping cords, smashing keyboards, etc. They don't hate each other, though.

Jeff is obsessed with Kate, but not in a healthy way. It's a mixture of fixation, possessiveness, projection, and twisted admiration, although the genuine craving for affection is there.

Calls her things like "ghost-girl", "chaser-baby", "my shadow twin"—weird pet names only he thinks are cute.

He follows her silently, watching her on hunts. Never interferes unless he thinks she’s in danger. Then he snaps.

Leaves little "gifts" in her room: wilted flowers, knives shaped like crescent moons, locks of his own hair, bloody notes that read “you’re the only one who understands.” and other corny shit.

Gets extremely jealous if Kate is seen talking to someone else too long. Especially if it’s Masky, Hoodie, or another male proxy.

Once flipped a table during dinner when Kate ignored him. Then calmly picked up the plates and placed them back down, still seething.

Tells people they’re “soul twins” because they both “chase what they’ll never catch.” Kate finds this annoying and disturbing.

Sometimes Kate humors him because she feels bad for him…other times, she threatens him outright.

He once carved her name into his arm in front of her. She didn’t speak to him for weeks afterward.

In his eyes, Kate is the only real person in the mansion. The rest are noise.

Sally is weirdly fond of him—thinks he’s funny like a scary cartoon. He plays along, softens slightly with her, but also says incredibly inappropriate things sometimes. (Not sexual, of course not, but things like “if I died, would you haunt me?”)

Clockwork hates him. Finds him unstable and dangerous. They've gotten into brutal fights that almost left one or both unconscious.

Toby is intimidated, but fascinated. Jeff sees Toby as a “baby rage-machine” and mocks him for his tics until he gets punched.

Eyeless Jack and Jeff have an agreement—Jack patches him up if he shuts up. Jeff doesn’t. Jack still patches him up, usually annoyed.

Slenderman occasionally “reins him in” telepathically, or sends proxies to drag him back when he’s gone rogue for too long.

His scent lingers in places he’s been—blood, smoke, rot. Proxies know not to enter rooms with that smell.

His “nest” is full of torn fabrics, bones, stolen pillows, and old Polaroids. There’s barely enough room for him to curl up inside it.

Sleeps in cold spots—the attic, crawlspaces, or with the windows wide open even in the dead of winter.

The basement walls have claw marks, some say they’re his, others say it’s something else he brought back with him.

He will occasionally talk to his reflection in a mirror, despite his hatred for it. He usually ends up punching it, though.

Refers to the Slender Mansion as “home” but never says it like it’s comforting. Says it like a threat.

Keeps chalk drawings under the staircase—outlines of bodies, smiley faces with fangs, Kate’s silhouette.

Sometimes dances alone in the hallway. No music. Just dancing to something in his head.

“Feeds” Smile Dog scraps of something that isn’t meat. No one asks.

Occasionally writes notes and tapes them to people’s doors, always in red pen. They say things like:

“I watched you last night. You flinch in your sleep.”

“You smell different today. New shampoo?”

“She’s not yours.”

More to be added! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I love my burnt sausage so much. <3

[luninewnk]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

‧₊˚ HELLO HELLO (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ . today i decided to post something different — safety things for your script !! i don't usually post about this, but i decided to post something new today. i strongly recommend add these to your script, especially if your dr involves violence or traumatic situations like mine. stay safe, babiesssss. anywayyyy, i took these from my TLOU script, so some things may be related to that dr — but u can remove or change them if your dr is different lol. xoxo. mwaaah.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ₊˚⊹ ᰔㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSAFETY. ㅤㅤ‹𝟹ㅤㅤ .ᐟ.ᐟ

٠࣪⭑ i can escape from traps or ambushes with ease;

٠࣪⭑ i am immune to poisons and toxins that could be harmful to others.

٠࣪⭑ i am immune to poisons, toxins, diseases, and any harmful substances.

٠࣪⭑ i know when someone is dangerous before even fully getting to know them.

٠࣪⭑ i have a sixth sense that helps me know when to trust someone.

٠࣪⭑ anyone who tries to harm me always fails no matter what.

٠࣪⭑ i am completely free from raped/sexually abused;

٠࣪⭑ any place i enter automatically becomes safe for me.

٠࣪⭑ i am always protected, no matter where i am.

٠࣪⭑ my body is as strong as i want it to be, even indestructible if i wish.

⟣ ┄─ if someone tries to poison my food/drink or put any harmful substance in it, my intuition will warn me. it will also tell me exactly who did it.

⟣ ┄─ my mind is strong, resilient, and balanced, ensuring i never suffer from trauma.

⟣ ┄─ i always feel calm, protected, and emotionally stable, no matter the circumstances.

⟣ ┄─ no event or experience in my dr can negatively impact my mental health.

⟣ ┄─ my brain has an automatic filter that blocks any memory or experience that could be negative for me.

⟣ ┄─ i cannot bring trauma, triggers, or any negative effects from my dr back to my cr.

⟣ ┄─ i am incapable of developing phobias, trauma, or insecurities.

⟣ ┄─ if I want, i can completely turn off my emotions in critical moments to act with coolness and strategy.

⟣ ┄─ i can always find hiding spots, no matter where i am (and i’m really good at hiding);

⟣ ┄─ even if my hair is "long," infected never manage to grab it. my hair is also free from getting stuck in anything while i'm running in an emergency/dangerous situation.

⟣ ┄─ i know how to differentiate between a person who is infected and one who is not.

⟣ ┄─ i can move silently without being detected by infected;

⟣ ┄─ i always find safe routes, even in dangerous areas.

⟣ ┄─ i can identify contaminated food or objects.

⟣ ┄─ i am completely free from developing any trauma or phobias, no matter what i experience.

⟣ ┄─ if i witness something disturbing, my mind processes it calmly without emotional harm.

⟣ ┄─ nothing bad can happen while i’m asleep or too exhausted to fight/stand (invasion of infected, enemies, etc.);

⟣ ┄─ if i go somewhere unfamiliar, my intuition always guides me to safety.

⟣ ┄─ i never get lost; i always know exactly where i am and how to get out of any situation.

⟣ ┄─ any environment i’m in is comfortable, safe, and pleasant for me.

⟣ ┄─ if i fall from great heights or get hit by something, i never get seriously injured.

⟣ ┄─ anyone trying to track or chase me will always fail without knowing why.

⟣ ┄─ no experience in my dr can cause me psychological or emotional damage.

⟣ ┄─ i have total control over my emotions and how i react in any situation.

⟣ ┄─ i decide what affects me emotionally and mentally, being able to ignore anything unpleasant.

⟣ ┄─ i am immune to mind control, manipulation, nightmares, and unwanted hallucinations.

⟣ ┄─ any physical damage i take will heal instantly without pain or scars if i want.

⟣ ┄─ if someone tries to attack me, my speed and reflexes allow me to dodge easily.

⟣ ┄─ if i'm in danger, my body and mind automatically react in the best way to protect me.

⟣ ┄─ my instincts alert me to any threats before they happen.

⟣ ┄─ i am completely immune to fear and panic, always staying calm and rational.

⟣ ┄─ i am incapable of feeling scared or disturbed by blood, death, or intense/disturbing scenes.

⟣ ┄─ no voices in my head or hallucinations can disturb or influence me.

⟣ ┄─ i can block or erase any memory i don’t want to keep.

⟣ ┄─ no infected can cause me terror or discomfort.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⟣┄─ i am immune to acquiring anxiety and severe depression;

⟣ ┄─ i am immune to becoming paraplegic or quadriplegic;

⟣ ┄─ i am immune to entering a coma or vegetative state;

⟣ ┄─ I am immune to losing my memory;

⟣ ┄─ I am immune to losing movement/speech;

⟣ ┄─ i am free from losing body parts (arms, legs, head, etc.);

⟣ ┄─ i am free from losing my senses;

⟣ ┄─ malicious comments about me do not affect my mental health and self-esteem;

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⟣ ┄─ i am free from being pulled into another reality by someone without my authorization;

⟣ ┄─ i am protected against evil and negative energies, entities;

⟣ ┄─ i will go back and forth between realities with total safety and protection;

[evellynssocbrainrot]

Out of sheer curiosity and because it never stops clawing at me, I went on the internet and did a Google search for haphephobia and SA trauma.

And. Well.

Clearly, Leigh did her research before writing Kaz and Inej. Because everything she did with the two in the books is extremely accurate, realistic, and aligned perfectly with the information.

Especially Kaz.

The info literally said that haphephobia is a scarily common fear of touch. The symptoms of this phobia are nausea, laboured breathing, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, pale or flushed skin, sweating, and fainting/losing consciousness. Some other stuff that haphephobia does to you is cause social isolation, relationship difficulties, and anxiety and depression. The info also said that to cure this phobia, support from family/friends is very crucial. Exposure therapy, relaxation techniques, and communication and boundary-setting skills are also important. It ALSO said that haphephobia is an involuntary fear response, not a choice. Overcoming it requires professional help, it cannot be easily overcome. It can expand to fear of all types of touches, not just human touches. And it can be treated with therapy and support, it's not untreatable. (Looking at you people who think Kaz and Inej can never kiss)

*Another SA trauma-related article said that PTSD does not make a person crazy damaged or broken. It simply means that their brain is coping with the trauma.*

This is why Kaz and Inej are two of the most realistic traumatized characters ever written. It's also why I get really pissed when people dismiss their trauma. Or say bullshit like, "Why can't he just get over it?"

The articles also made me cry a bit because, of course, I was thinking of Kaz and Inej while reading 😭

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I love the blog and everything you guys do. In my WIP, one of my characters experiences hearing loss in one ear thanks to a head injury. I was wondering how this might effect him going on and what are some difficulties he might face with this new situation.

Hello,

This is pretty broad, and I'm going to explain why

So, one thing you might want to consider is how small the auditory cortex is;

Most of it is actually inside of the brain- the red bit in the diagram, the secondary auditory cortex, is the only part of the auditory cortex on the surface of the brain. Here's a diagram of how deep the auditory cortex goes;

So, damaging that in the right way to cause permanent complete hearing loss would require a decently deep concussion, and that would probably also impact the surrounding temporal lobe unless the injury was sharp-force, penetrating trauma (a stab to the side of the head) rather than blunt-force and/or nonpenetrating trauma (a knock to the head that didn't cause laceration in his brain.) If the impact is deep enough to affect the red region, that's a severe traumatic brain injury and it can very easily be enough to kill him. For exactly how an injury to any part of the auditory cortex would impact hearing, I would need to refer you to the Wikipedia page, because you're getting into neuroscience.

Actually, considering where the auditory cortex is, right in the middle of the temporal, frontal, and parietal lobe, a blunt-force brain injury could lead to a complex traumatic brain injury, one that could very easily affect three of the four major lobes of the brain. Based on the surface size, depth, severity, and type of traumatic injury, there are hundreds of possible complications. I would recommend also looking into the areas that surround the auditory cortex and the symptoms caused by injuries to those areas, unless you're going to go with sharp-force penetrating trauma.

Deafness from brain injury is extremely rare due to how small the auditory cortex is and how little of it is on the surface of the brain. Unless you plan on having them stabbed in the side of the head and miraculously surviving with only damage to the auditory cortex, I'd advise going with an injury to the inner ear, such as a burst eardrum. or a bad injury to the hammer, anvil, stirrup, or cochlea.

Mod Aaron

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I know that you headcanon Sabo in the original OP universe to have schizophrenia, but does your sabo in the wittb au also have schizophrenia? If so, how does it affect his daily life?

Im not too big on the sabo schizophrenia headcanon, like beyond just a headcanon i sometimes think of i dont have a lot of ideas for it, but i dont think modern au Sabo would have it like canon universe Sabo does.

I think it would be spurred on in canon by brain damage from the blast from his childhood and also the insane amounts of trauma that he has went through since.

My modern au Sabo has had a traumatic injury to his head but it was more of a severe scrape and a concussion than canon’s Hit With A Fucking Cannon Ball Blast, know what i mean?

Sorry i just dont have many thoughts on it, and admittedly i dont know The Most about schizophrenia besides the baseline, but i do think he is a strong contender for Schizophrenia Representation In Media/Headcanons.

Thanks for the ask!

[lune-moon-nuit]

Someone commented, "How can people say their relationship is toxic? She literally saved his life," under someone's TikTok that highlighted how Mike was willing to sacrifice his own life to spare Dustin's baby teeth (and thus proving the lack of values ​​he has towards himself and his own life) and he would be dead if El wasn't there.

“But she saved him.” Yeah… and that’s exactly why it’s complicated — and why their relationship might not be as healthy as it seems.

Let’s talk about the psychological weight behind this kind of dynamic.

When someone literally saves your life — especially during a traumatic, high-stakes moment — it creates a powerful emotional imprint. The person you associate with relief, safety, and survival can easily become idealized in your mind. But here’s the thing: that’s not the same as love.

The savior complex / emotional debt syndrome

When one person saves another — especially in an extreme (traumatic or life-threatening) moment — it can create a deep emotional debt, where the saved person feels they owe something profound to their savior. This can evolve into a distorted emotional attachment, which is often perceived as love.

Emotional debt ≠ romantic connection

Mike may feel like he owes El everything because she saved him. That sense of emotional debt can evolve into what looks like devotion, loyalty, even “love” — but at its core, it’s about guilt and obligation, not emotional compatibility or genuine desire.

When someone stays in a relationship because they feel they “should,” not because they want to, it creates an imbalance. It’s not real intimacy — it’s emotional submission masked as love.

Gratitude/savior love syndrome

Though not a clinical term, in psychological or romantic literature, people sometimes talk about “savior love,” where the attraction doesn’t stem from real romantic desire, but from a mix of gratitude, admiration, emotional dependence, and relief. This type of feeling can be very intense — but also fleeting — because it’s rooted in a dramatic event rather than a truly built relationship.

The “Savior Complex” and distorted attachment

This is a textbook example of what psychology often refers to as emotional debt attachment or “savior love.” When a person is rescued in a moment of trauma, they might unconsciously attach themselves to their savior, mistaking relief and admiration for romantic love.

It can feel very intense — even destiny-like — but it often fades or becomes damaging once the adrenaline of survival fades and there’s no emotional foundation strong enough to carry the relationship.

Transference

This is an unconscious mechanism where someone projects intense emotions — often linked to important figures from their past (like parents) — onto another person. In this case, the girl who saves becomes an idealized figure, almost a symbolic “savior,” and the love felt isn’t always based on who she truly is, but on what she represents emotionally: safety, life, salvation.

Transference and idealization

Mike might be projecting deep emotional needs onto El — needs for protection, unconditional presence, and safety — especially if his space to explore those needs safely disappeared one day before meeting El. In psychology, this is called transference: when we assign symbolic meaning to someone based on what they represent to us emotionally, not who they really are.

In this case, El isn’t just a person. She’s the girl who saved his life. She’s “the one who pulled him out.” She's a "superhero". And when someone becomes a symbol, not a person, the relationship loses balance. She becomes untouchable, unquestionable — and that is not mutual love. That’s idolization wrapped in trauma.

Post-traumatic emotional confusion

When someone goes through a traumatic experience, the brain seeks symbols of safety to hold onto. The person who was present in the moment of greatest fear — and helped overcome it — can become unconsciously associated with feelings of love, simply because they were the source of relief.

Post-traumatic emotional confusion

Trauma warps emotional perception. When we’re vulnerable, the brain clings to anything that feels like safety. It makes sense that Mike might associate El with peace and survival — but that association doesn’t always translate into a sustainable, reciprocal relationship. It can create a bond rooted in fear, not in freedom.

So yes, she saved him. And that matters. But it’s also part of the problem.

Because "You saved me, so I have to love you" is not romantic — it’s tragic. It’s a trap. It’s the kind of belief that keeps people in relationships that look loyal on the outside but are emotionally repressive on the inside.

Mike deserves to choose love freely — not stay in a relationship because he feels indebted to someone who once saved him. And El, too, deserves someone who loves her for her, not for what she did for him.

Gratitude is not love. Debt is not devotion. And saving someone doesn’t mean they owe you their heart.

In summary: This is most likely a post-traumatic attachment, combined with emotional transference and a sense of emotional debt, all being misinterpreted as love. It’s not necessarily fake or illegitimate — but it’s often an idealized kind of love, born from survival rather than a deep, mutual emotional connection.

If you’re looking for simpler terms to describe it: “Rescue-based emotional attachment” or “post-traumatic gratitude love” can work — even if they’re not official clinical expressions, they’re still meaningful and accurate.

And yes, it can become a toxic relationship, or at the very least unhealthy, if one of them stays out of guilt, debt, or gratitude instead of sincere love or mutual desire.

Here’s why:

Emotional imbalance If he stays out of obligation (because she saved him), and she believes he truly loves her, then there’s a fundamental emotional lie at the core. There’s no balance: one gives out of love, the other out of duty. And even if the intention is good (not wanting to hurt her, wanting to repay what she did), it builds a relationship based on a false premise.

The fear of hurting or “betraying” her He may feel like he owes her his life, and therefore has no right to leave, even if he’s not happy or in love. This chronic guilt can lead to a form of emotional submission, which will make both of them miserable over time.

The myth of “I owe them everything” This is a common mental trap: believing that because someone saved you, you must stay loyal to them for life — even at the cost of your own freedom or inner truth. It becomes a form of perpetual emotional debt that prevents you from listening to what you really want.

Possible consequences:

He may repress his true feelings, or even fall into depression.

She may feel that something is wrong, even if he never says it.

The relationship can become suffocating, built on illusion, and eventually lead to resentment, frustration, or even repressed anger.

The factual and logical consequences I describe here include all the relationships based on this dynamic. But the fact is that every consequence cited here and highlighted is evident and present in season 4 (especially in their argument scenes) speak volumes.

It’s not necessarily toxic at the beginning, but it becomes toxic if it continues without honesty.

Being grateful is one thing. Sacrificing your truth in the name of that gratitude is another.

Conclusion :

Yes, El did save Mike’s life — and that’s incredibly important. But love born out of a life-saving moment doesn’t automatically make a relationship healthy. In fact, staying with someone because you feel emotionally indebted to them, rather than truly in love, can actually be a sign of an unhealthy or even toxic dynamic.

There’s a psychological phenomenon where intense gratitude, admiration, or even trauma-bonding gets confused with love. When someone saves your life — literally or emotionally — they can become symbolically larger than life to you. You feel like you owe them everything. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you're romantically compatible, or even emotionally fulfilled in the long run. It just means they became a figure of safety during a moment of terror or pain.

If Mike is with El partly because he feels like he has to be, because she saved him, then that’s not a free, mutual love. That’s emotional debt. That kind of imbalance can lead to deep internal conflict — guilt, suppression of real feelings, fear of hurting the other person — and that’s where toxicity begins to seep in, even if no one means harm.

Gratitude isn’t the same as love. And saving someone’s life doesn’t mean they owe you a relationship forever. If a relationship survives solely on the basis of a heroic act from the past — and not on genuine, reciprocal connection in the present — then it might not be as healthy as it looks from the outside.

[halhole]

the issue with having a psych degree is that now I'm thinking about Guy Gardner having chronic traumatic encephalopathy. We already know that he has brain damage for multiple reasons, and if we combine that with the possibility of head trauma due to abuse as a child and then. also all the head trauma from being a vigilante...man. He also fits a lot of the symptoms such as: impulsive behavior, aggression, emotional instability, and hell. I'll argue for problems planning and trouble thinking. It's not outside the realm of possibility.

[hannibals-grahamcracker]

Hannibal for the headcanons!

Omg Serri hiiiii!!

Okay so my headcanons for Hannibal:

A: realistic.

Hannibal doesn't particularly care about sex until he and Will are officially together. He's always used it as a manipulation tactic, a way for him to get ahead, and with the men he's been with in the past (because let's be realistic, that man couldn't give less of a fuck about his sexual partners' gender or sex), he's always taken the role of the top because it's the role others naturally assume for him, and what better way to get ahead and lower suspicion than by playing into the role someone already thinks you play? Will changes this, because Will is focused on both of their pleasure (most of the time—he does sometimes have a sadistic streak and we love him for it), he doesn't assume anything about Hannibal's sexual habits. Hannibal actually enjoys sex with Will; he doesn't have to play into a preconceived notion of how he's supposed to act and it's one of the areas of life in which he's learned to let go and give over his control to Will. The first time Will initiated anything sexual, Hannibal found it shockingly easy to let him have control. Turns out he quite likes being a bottom. Who knew? (All of us, we all knew.)

B: maybe not realistic but funny.

We know that Hannibal doesn't like Will's aftershave and thinks it's atrocious. My proposal to you is that he does like it (because it smells like Will and I'm delusional), and his little quip about Will wearing bad aftershave was to save face because he had a slip up and refuses to admit that smelling Will was weird. He needed an excuse and by god, that man commits to the bit. He is nothing if not dedicated.

C: heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends.

Hannibal obviously has deep-seated trauma regarding his sister and what happened to her, although he refuses to admit it. In the show, he says he ate her to forgive her. I headcanon that the reality of the situation is that they were held hostage by Soviet deserters (closer to his original backstory and also because his childhood would have been spent in Soviet occupied Lithuania), who starved both he and Mischa, then proceeded to take her from him, kill her, and eat her. He convinces himself that he made the choice to eat her instead of being delirious from hunger and illness and being forcibly fed her remains via soup. He knows this isn't true, but it's something he can't admit to himself, because that would mean that his entire philosophy on cannibalism as forgiveness and honor/love is flawed, and that he was at a point in his life not in control of the world around him. When he got away, he aimlessly wandered through the blizzard raging outside before being found and taken in, then rightfully returned to the custody of his uncle. As an adult, he learned to cope with his loss and his fear of harsh winters. Until the fall. Both he and Will obviously suffered damages in the fall; Hannibal suffers from a mild to moderate traumatic brain injury and has to learn to cope with this. He no longer has as much control over his mental barriers and therefore cannot reasonably keep certain doors closed in his mind palace. No matter how much he managed to convince himself otherwise before, he remembers what actually happened to him every time it snows more than a few inches. He insists that Will can't go out during snow storms, under the guise of it being unwise because they're on the run and if he gets stuck in the storm and someone recognizes him, they may as well be dead. The one time Will does leave, he returns home to find Hannibal nearly catatonic, unable to speak more than a few words in his native language. Will has obviously noticed changes in Hannibal's personality, especially his ability to hide his emotions, but he's so shaken by this that he refuses to leave Hannibal alone if it so much as flurries.

D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it.

Post-fall, Hannibal is basically a glorified housewife. He cooks, cleans, and looks pretty for Will, and it's his greatest pleasure in life. He buys anything Will wants, and does whatever is asked of him simply because he can.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 5

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.5

“Hey, stretch. You here to play doctor?”

“I’d just like to interview you. I’m not going to touch you if that's what you’re concerned about.”

“Why not?”

“...ANYhow, I have a few questions for you.”

“Yes, I'm single.”

“Not those kinds of questions. Can you tell me your full first name?”

“Can you give me yours first?”

“Fiddleford.”

“Stan.”

“Okay, Stan. Where are you from? And don’t you dare say from my dreams.”

“Well yeah, I’d say ‘from your dreams’, not mine. Other than that, probably some gutters or a ditch somewhere.”

“What do you mean?”

“As far as I remember, I’ve been out on the streets, or in prison. I think I had a car at some point? But I dunno what happened with that, it makes my head burn trying to think about it.”

“Do you have any family?”

“No.”

“Do you remember ever having a family?”

“I don’t remember having one, but I feel like I had one before.”

“What do you feel like happened to them?”

“They probably got tired of my BS and told me to take a hike. It’s how it always goes with me.”

“That’s a theory you’ve put together. I’m asking what you feel like happened.”

“Feel like I had a dad who was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me. I feel like I had a mom who was a liar - I probably got it from her. Maybe a sibling or two? But they don’t want me around.”

“And what do you think about Stanford?”

“You mean the guy who drugged me, kidnapped me, and is keeping me prisoner in his evil basement sub-lab in the middle of the woods? I gotta say, he makes an impression.”

“But does he seem familiar to you?”

“I don’t think I could forget someone like him” 

“Is it because of his six fingers?”

“It’s twelve , and no, that's pretty normal compared to all of his other weird crap. It’s because he’s fucking crazy , and convinced I’m some mystery twin of his. But let’s stop talking about him, and talk about you instead. Are you single? You doing anything later?”

“Stay on track, Stan. Let’s take a step back and go back to talking about you. Have you recently gotten into any accidents or sustained major injuries?”

“Define ‘major’.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Judging by your friend's reaction to the stab wounds when we met, I don’t think your definition of major injury is the same as mine.”

---

"What did you determine, Fiddleford?"

"It wasn't easy to glean things because he would not stop flirting with me - was he always this way?"

"He was a little girl-crazy when we were younger, I didn't know he liked men. But that doesn’t matter right now, what were your findings?"

"He has full cognitive function. And based on your scans he has no signs of brain damage - comparing images of his brain to yours, his genetically identical twin, there isn't any morphological difference. Based on my interview, it sounds like he's never sustained significant head trauma neither.”

"But..?"

"If he really does have amnesia, it wasn't caused by a head injury."

"What else could it be?"

"A few things - perhaps he took a drug or substance that warped his brain chemistry. Or- more likely in my opinion, based on his lifestyle and what little history he tells me, he might have undergone extreme distress that caused a mental breakdown."

"Mental trauma can cause someone to lose their memories?"

"Our memories can be a shield and a sword, Stanford. Even good memories that can comfort you through a difficult time, can also cause pain and frustration when compared to a bad predicament.

He must have gone through something so traumatic that the only way his mind could cope with the stress was to... forget things. This is a phenomenon known as repression . Most of the time, a person would repress the traumatic event itself, but it looks like he’s defied the statistics and forgotten everything else instead.”

“He can’t be… that traumatized, right? This is Stanley we’re talking about.”

“I don’t know what he was like before, but he’s got a mullet, Stanford. There ain’t no way he's in a good place mentally.”

"And how would repressing memories about our family- about me , possibly help him cope with trauma?"

"If I'm going to be frank with you, this is the first time in the years that I've known you that you even mentioned having a twin brother . You've talked about other family members before, such as your older brother Sherman, but never him.

If his mind had to prioritize which memories to keep, why would it keep memories of someone he isn't close to?"

"We are- well, we were close."

"Were is a strong word, Stanford. Survival focuses on the present, not the past.”

“... What can we do to get his memories back?”

“I’m not a therapist. But perhaps if you can get him out of the survival mindset, he’d be open to some introspection.”

“So we must disable his fight-flight-freeze response…”

“Stanford Pines, I will throw that damn tranquilizer gun down the bottomless pit if you don’t put it down. Ya'll really need to stop using the slippery slope of science without consideration for morality like it's a damn seesaw. There are other ways to get him out of fight-flight.”

“Such as?”

“I would suggest you make him feel like he’s in a safe space, but that might not work.”

“Why not? He’s perfectly safe here.”

“But does he know that? From his perspective, you’re a stranger who shot him with a tranq dart and imprisoned in your basement for scientific exploitation. And I’ll remind you, this is all without his consent. He is here against his will.”

“It’s for his own good.”

“According to you, someone he thinks he doesn’t know. This may be your twin, Stanford, but he doesn’t know that. You need to gain his trust; maybe he would have trusted you by default in the past, but that isn’t the case now.”

“I… I’m not sure how to do that, Fiddleford. At one point, we knew everything about each other. And now I barely know him, and he thinks I’m a stranger. I’m still angry at him, and still bitter about what he did before he left home, and I’m disappointed in the conman and convict he turned into… but I’m sad, because he's convinced he’s not my brother.”

“You ain’t exactly the same person you were even when we first met all them years ago. People change. How about you try talking to him?”

“Just talking to him?”

“This may be difficult for you in particular, but you should try talking to him like he’s a person; and not a science experiment, anomaly, or an equation you’re trying to solve… Hey, hey don’t be looking like the last pea at pea-time now. I believe in you, you got this.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford.”

*Ford goes back downstairs to the lab. Fiddleford waits for him to be out of earshot before speaking*

“Bless his heart. This is going to be a disaster.”

To be continued…

[secondarysefikura]

@caramelo-bin yes, yes I can.

I did briefly post about it here, but to go more in depth:

The logic behind it:

Although our taste buds are responsible for actually tasting different things, our brain does the heavy lifting of interpreting these tastes. Serious head trauma or traumatic brain injury can cause people to lose their sense of taste, smell, or both.

I think it goes without saying that Cloud experienced some serious brain damage post-Nibelhiem. Between being in a coma for a very long time (plus being dragged half way across the continent while in said coma!) and the mako exposure, it's something of a miracle that Cloud only seems to suffer from Sephiroth-induced migraines.

Even if we assume Cloud somehow avoided brain damage (which, how, lol), you can also lose your sense of taste if you receive damage to the nerves in your mouth. And considering Cloud spent years floating in a mako tank? Yeah, I refuse to believe he didn't suffer some form of nerve damage.

Thoughts on how Cloud handles it:

Since he can't taste anything, Cloud becomes quite picky about textures. If the texture is unpleasant, he's not going to have much interest in eating the food unless he's really hungry/has no other options. He especially avoids slimy foods, even if the food was once something he enjoyed. Without any taste to distract him from the texture, he finds more slimy foods overwhelming and often spits them up or refuses more than a single bite.

It does make things a bit awkward when Yuffie makes a traditional Wutaian meal and Cloud gags due to the texture of the fish. Even after explaining that it's nothing personal, he ends up having to give Yuffie several materia as an apology gift.

Cloud's lack of taste is definitely forgotten by the party on several occasions. Tifa is trying to get the spice blend just right in a new recipe he's working on and gives Cloud a spoonful, asking what he thinks. Cloud just shrugs and goes "tastes like nothing" before walking off. On one occasion, Barret accidently fills a jar of sugar with salt. Cloud puts the 'salt' in his coffee for several days before someone realizes.

Barret: How did you not notice you were putting salt in your coffee for nearly a week?

Cloud: It all tastes the same to me.

Barret: Right, right-wait. Why even put sugar in your coffee then?

Cloud: Obviously to improve the...taste...oh.

Barret: *pats Cloud on the back* it's alright man, sometimes I try to pick things up with my gun arm.

[zaunite-rioter]

Exactly one (1) person asked me about my headcanon that Jayce has brain damage so now it's everyone's problem

Jayce fell down that canyon at relatively high speeds and hit his head multiple times on the way down. Against solid rock. That's serious head trauma right there. Just like with his leg, he didn't get proper treatment following the accident (tho there isn't much that can be done in that situation anyway) so like. that man's head is FUCKED.

Adding to that physical trauma, the Arcane was inside of him, both through him touching the anomaly and from eating the infected lizards. The Arcane is a manipulative force - we see that in how it conjures Sky to help manipulate Viktor. People with traumatic brain injuries can be more susceptible to manipulation in some cases due to the way a TBI affects cognitive functioning. I believe that the Arcane would have worsened the head trauma he experienced to manipulate him more easily. With those two things combined, I think there's no way he escaped having a traumatic brain injury after his stint in the future.

I'm basing the symptoms I headcanon him having after an irl friend who suffered a TBI after being hit by a car and they have to do with memory retention and focus/attention span. My irl friend gets spacey quite often and struggles considerably with her memory, and I think that this kind of TBI would be really impactful to Jayce.

He's the golden boy. Sure, he's physically strong, but he was always an investment - something WORTH investing in - because of what his mind could do. And suddenly that's…a lot harder. He's still capable, don't get me wrong. He's absolutely still just as intelligent as he was before but a lot of the things he took for granted - being able to work for long periods of time, being able to recall information and formulae at all times, etc - are different now. They're considerably harder or even impossible at times. So he's not as confident in his abilities and more than that he's afraid - he hasn't had a good time to really think about how what happened in the Arcane affected him. He may not even understand what has caused this sudden (perceived) shortcomings.

As a literary device (can't turn the writer brain off oops; I know it sounds weird so for context I'm discussing it as a literary device in the same way that Jayce's leg getting injured was a literary parallel to Viktor), it's a way for me to do an in-depth character study on Jayce and also to better parallel Viktor's struggles.

In Zaun, one's physical strength is everything - it's largely a mining settlement after all. So Viktor being physically disabled is a massive issue. In Piltover however, the need for physical labor - especially for someone of Jayce's status - is greatly reduced. We are shown this in the show via Salo. While Piltover isn't exactly accessible by any means, Salo is given the help he needs and isn't kicked from his job (like Viktor would be for being disabled in the undercity.) Pilties don't need to be able to do physical labor - they have Zaunites to do it for them. For those in Piltover, it is the mind that is focused and relied on.

So, to me, making him use a "cane" for his brain is a more effective mirroring of Viktor having to use a cane for his body. That's not to say Jayce's physical disability isn't important!! Him becoming physically disabled as well is very important to his story. As a literary parallel, however, I feel a TBI is more fitting as a mirror of Viktor and is more representative of their differences and the struggle between Piltover and Zaun.

[void-star]

I'm starting to get the impression that people don't actually know what a trauma trigger is or how to identify them.

It is not feeling uncomfortable or disgusted with a concept or subject.

It is an activation of your sympathetic nervous system (activates fight or flight) over things your brain has associated strongly with a traumatic event.

The things your brain associates with the traumatic event don't always have to make sense: it can be as innocuous as a certain song/ringtone or notes from a cologne/perfume, or as direct and obvious as the sight of a weapon.

The important thing here is that it's a moderate to severe body experience in response to something that is not immediately dangerous to you and reminds you of a traumatic experience you have had in some way.

When you know and understand this, you can start to catch the physiological signs of the activation of your sympathetic nervous system. It's helpful to recognize both to calm your body down when you're not in immediate danger, and to recognize how this activation can affect other areas of your life.

I say that last part because it shuts down a lot of cognition, makes you stop thinking clearly, because it serves the purpose of trying to get you immediately out of danger.

My therapist still does a kind of explicit mirroring with me a lot, where rather than focusing on the thoughts and the fear that's on the surface, she brings my attention to my body: tightness in muscles, narrowing of vision, increased awareness of sounds/smells, constriction of the chest.

I bring this up because, first of all, it seems like some people use "trigger" to by synonymous with feeling uncomfortable or disgusted, to ride on your concern for their wellbeing in order to control your behavior. I don't like that.

Second of all, it also seems like other people are focusing on the occurrence of a trigger as a hallmark of something being harmful. Like once you're triggered, you're hurt and damaged yet again, and there's no coming back from that.

This is both untrue and disingenuous. I don't think it's particularly useful for trauma survivors. It's important to recognize that triggers are the residual effects of the things that harmed us that we couldn't do anything about. Triggers are manageable and they are not an indication that you're being harmed again. They are the body's memory of the harm, and its commitment to preventing you from being harmed again by latching onto a pattern it thinks will help you be safe if there's a next time.

You HAVE to learn to rationalize this if you want to feel safer, more comfortable, and in control of your world. You deserve that.

You don't deserve to sit inside of the intense fear and lack of understanding that comes with not investigating your own experience, or the way it can box you in to see danger and harm and abuse all around you.

And if you don't learn that, you're going to end up believing the only thing that can keep you safe is the elimination of everything that reminds you of what you went through... which is harmful to other people.

[dracaelus]

Do you ever just think about how in Batman The Knight, Bruce mentions they promised to not use guns and yet Bruce is the first one to shoot Luka to protect Khoa? Especially considering his small flashes whenever he had to use guns even at inhuman targets? And he still did it?

YES!!! Yes, I do!!!

I went through this specific issue recently and i have so many thoughts, I hope you don't mind me using your ask as an excuse to ramble :)

Bruce was having such a bad time in this issue it's not even funny. Luka just decided to kill the only constant figure in his life at this point, his partner, his bestie, his boy crush, his only companion, and just expected him to sit and watch while he shot him right in front of his eyes, like, bro, right in front of the traumatized by loved ones being shot in front of him boy??? WHY

And of course that happened after months of him relieving this particular trauma repeatedly on account of having to use guns and interact daily with a guy who, bc of his past career, he couldn't help but compare to his parents' murderer. Why not, after all. Just marinate him a bit before going for the kill.

Obviously, Bruce couldn't let Luka just kill Khoa, so he takes the gun, and he doesn't even kill Luka, but taking that shot was such a difficult thing to do in such a stressful situation in which he's clearly relieving his biggest trauma. And like, sure, he made his promise to Luka, but more than that, guns are forever associated with his parents death and their murderer. Bruce very much can't use guns on real people without shaking, trembling, throwing up, yk, feeling like he's putting himself in the shoes of joe chill and feeling so intensely guilty. It’s really his last resort - if it was Bruce’s life that Luka was threatening, he might even have let himself be killed in order to not have to use the gun.

However, since the universe is not over with him yet, and still has some ideas about how to make his day worse, it decides instead to force his hand by making Minhkhoa be the one being held at gunpoint. Thus, Bruce does take the shot anyway in the worst way possible and in the worst situation ever, and literally the only thing that could've been worse would be making him kill someone, so of course,

THEN

MINHKHOA TAKES THE GUN

AND SHOOTS LUKA RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM

MAKING SO THAT BRUCE'S SHOT REALLY RESULTED IN SOMEONE'S DEATH

ONCE AGAIN

RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS TRAUMATIZED EYES

and as if this wasn't enough

HE THEN POINTS THE GUN AT BRUCE

Honestly his biggest crime, I don't care about the murders and other felonies, this moment right here is the only thing he ever did wrong.

Like, can you imagine the level of brain damage bruce was receiving that day?

Khoa went from loved-one-about-to-be-killed to being the one walking on joe chill's shoes. His range, honestly. No wonder Bruce got so mad and then so heartbroken. Crying his eyes out, literally hugging himself. The saddest, most traumatized boy ever

Anyways, bruce still misses him, even after all khoa put him through. Or, as he says, he misses who he thought he was. After their first breakup khoa's image took a lot of damage - bruce really starts to wonder if khoa wasn't just a monster and he was the only one not seeing it. He thinks minhkhoa is sabotaging him, and that he might have killed alfred and his ex-girlfriend.

But of course nothing of this it's true and Khoa manages to undo some of the damage to bruce's opinion of him by trying to warn him about the guy actually sabotaging and trying to kill both of them (he also almost dies in the process, which i'm sure made him seem extra harmless and babygirly to bruce), so i guess that was enough to take away the thoughts of khoa being very likely to kill him one day.

He also offers a justification for the two murders he committed (Luka and master Ouahbi - honestly, what's the deal with all those criminals/ex criminals being both so good at diagnosing people with psychopathy and hating them so much????), and it was good enough for bruce, i guess? Tbh, he was mostly just trying to not think too deeply about it, 'cause he just wanted to have a little more time with him so badly. He would do so many things for khoa, and forgive him for so much stuff. HOW COULD KHOA FUMBLE HIM SO BADLY-

One thing I think about a lot is how in btk #7, bruce’s broken heart is addressed - he only references his trauma with his parents death in the issue, but the last issue ended with him saying his heart was broken bc of khoa so we can infer that he’s thinking about what happened between the two of them too. I find it interesting how this seems to be bruce’s way of dealing with khoa - he doesn't talk about him. Dick mentions it in Batman (2016) #104

And bruce never says a word about what happened between him and khoa to zatanna

I wonder if this is his way of keeping khoa with him. As he says, his heart never heals bc he doesn't let it - and so, he never talks about khoa, he only talks with zatanna about the loss of his parents, and he tells dick some of the bad khoa did to him, but doesn't delve into how important he was to him, or the good times they spent together, or how willing he was and still is to forgive him (tho he ends up showing him this part anyways when he goes to ghostmaker to ask him to coparent batman inc. with him when he first started it). He tells their story in a way that makes it seem like their separation didn't affect him negatively at all - dick only realizes bruce still misses him bc of his super powers of seeing right through bruce’s emotional barriers. But bruce keeps refusing to talk about khoa, or adress the ways in which he is still hurting, so he nevers gets better, and thus, khoa is still with him in a way, if only in wounds he left behind.

I also think bruce focuses a lot on everything bad khoa did to him and tries so hard to not even think about the good parts of their relationship bc the truth is, in his heart, the good outweighs the bad by a lot. Which is the reason why khoa barely has to do anything to win him back every time he comes back - bc despite everything, bruce has always been way too willing to forgive him for everything, and all he really has to do is to come back, and be willing to stay for a little while longer.

[qoldenskies]

Foaming at the mouth and begging for more wwww content

What is the brains and brawn duo like? Like from first meeting, getting to know each other, and the twins moving in

What is Splinter’s thoughts n the twins after finding out they’re alive and what is his relationship like with them like? Both individually and together.

Does Donnie crave parental approval still? Has anyone ever told him they’re proud of him? Can I squish his cheeks and bury him under 1000 weighted blankets?

donnie is draxum's.... favorite. if you want to call it that?

it's apparent draxum is kind of scared of him, though. he holds him to more restrictive standards, and he entrusts leo with a lot more responsibility. it's a big reason why donnie will come off more sheltered and naive-- leo's been going out and doing his own shit since he was a lot younger. a lot of donnie's freedoms are pretty recent, and even then they still keep shit from him, and he still knows better than to misbehave. the consequences are usually nastier, although leo gets a bigger helping of animosity from draxum on the daily. it's a big reason donnie seems so calm-- these are the ways he built up his walls. he's actually pretty shy and avoidant? if one of them needed to shout, leo would do it. leo has been raised to lead donnie from the start, although those expectations get worse and worse for him once draxum starts putting his plans into motion.

point is, this heavily influences both his dynamics with splinter and raph, who are both positive figures in his life... once he gets to know them, that is. splinter does not have much of an opinion on donnie and leo until they're right in front of him, because there is so much going on with the dark armor and some other things i cant talk about yet. for all intents and purposes... splinter's family is right here. he has to do what he can to protect them. they cant take in two other kids with how messed up their circumstances already are, never mind two kids that he's been told are hostile from raph. which is true for leo, i suppose.

but he's overjoyed to see them again. he's actually blocked out most of his memories of the whole experience because it was very traumatic, so he cant remember much other than the fact that he named them. he actually assumed they might have just died, and it hasn't really processed to him that they'd also count as infant children-- that's the only way he could really cope with it all, just to think of him as other turtles lost as collateral damage. he didn't have much time to linger with two children he already had to take care of.

donnie walks into his life first, haggard and harrowed for reasons i cant talk about yet. splinter tries to express to him that he's allowed to take up space, but donnie is almost perfect. better than raph and mikey have ever been. donnie tries to give him everything, he's polite, he's quiet, he's not clingy, he makes himself scarce when he doesn't think he's needed, although he's closer with mikey and eventually raph. splinter just assumes that's kind of his demeanor, that it's not all the fresh trauma speaking, because it's easy to glean that sometimes he will be completely straight-faced while having the time of his life...

and then leo enters the family.

if donnie is the perfect child, leo is the exact opposite. loud and annoying and destructive and violent and mean. leo is so intensely mean, ESPECIALLY to splinter. he's vicious and taunting and overprotective of donnie, to a concerning degree. he doesn't trust anyone and he doesn't talk about what he went through. they try and communicate with them and he essentially spits in their face. he's amicable with casey and kind of april, but raph mikey and splinter can all go choke and die for who he cares.

but what splinter learns through leo's appearance is that donnie is... different. leo takes donnie's polite, fawning behavior as something to challenge. he sees him suck up to splinter and gets ANGRY and standoffish, and it causes splinter to realize that both of them are scoping him out. leo is waiting for splinter to snap and hurt them. donnie thinks that everything will go right if they never step out of line. both of them argue constantly about each other's approach because they're both very protective of each other. and donnie's a troublemaker himself, and deep down leo is a sweetheart. splinter just hasn't been able to see this because both of them distrust him so much.

it makes him worry that draxum was a lot worse than he actually was from the start. the truth is, things are more complicated than that and they have some fresh new scars to explain their behavior. but up until the dark armor was complete, draxum did start to act increasingly worse, lashing out in fits of paranoia and having periods of mania (this is meant to mostly be a psychotic break due to several extreme stressors and a lack of sleep, btw).... this influences leo's behavior more than donnie's, but donnie has a reason to be wary and afraid. draxum betrays his trust and feelings of security in a really horrifying and monumental way.

both of them need parental approval, and both of them need to adjust to the completely different style of parenting that splinter presents and the more free lifestyle. but splinter notices how donnie lights up like a christmas tree when he tells him he's proud, and he notices the wary gleam of hope in leo's eyes when he's given the same approval and attention, no caveats or expectations.

they both end up a lot closer to raph, though. leo takes some time to get close to him, but they're inseparable when they actually bond and stop fighting all the time. they bother him like attention-starved cats. it's not a stretch to say they lowkey kind of imprinted on him-- they act like raph is their Person, although donnie confides in mikey and leo overall a lot more lol