#bruce wayne is a nerd

[panikara]

Bruce Wayne is a Titanic nerd. he got hyperfixated with her in childhood and still sometimes reads articles and watches documentaries

because Bruce is all about contingency plans. and the Titanic was called the unsinkable ship for a reason. she had more lifeboats than average, could stay afloat even with breaches and with up to four flooded decks. she was one of the most secure ships at the time

and she still sank during her debut trip

and Bruce is obsessed with it. he read tons of articles about the Titanic and noted every single thing gone wrong in his teenage years. and now, being Batman, he adds one or two more contingency plans than needed to the missions, because he always remembers that more than average might not be enough

[angelbelles]

reading the detective comics for the first time and starting with when they introduced robin (#38) and he’s just fucking up all zuccos shit

store clerk: but what’ll i tell zuccos men?!

this stupid dweeb: just say… THE BATMAN!

is he fuckin serious???

[myeyebagsaredesigner]

I need a situation where one of the younger batkids are in an argument with Jason, and bring up the fact that he "wasn't a good kid"

Damian: "Tch. Todd, you are just angry because you were too busy rebelling to get father's attention."

Jason:

Dick: "..What?"

Damian: "Your degenerative behavior as a child is the whole reason father does not respect you now."

Bruce: "Damian, Jason was a saint."

Damian: "What?"

Dick: "Jason had a self imposed bed time."

Bruce: "He had a weird obsession with homework.."

Dick: "Once, I tried to sneak him out, and he cried."

Bruce: "I once implied that he could sneak out, and he cried."

Damian:

Jason: "Dami, B and I don't get along because of our terrible morals."

Bruce: "Well, I wouldn't say that-"

Jason: "He hates me because we both have extremely fucked up versions of justice that we don't agree on-"

Bruce: "Now, I never said-"

Jason: "I was a child and he hated me. He hates children-"

Bruce: "God damnit, Jason-"

Damian:

Damian: "My whole perspective has been altered."

[timdrakealways17]

Damian and Tim bond by Tim taking a photo then Damian painting/drawing it.

—-

Tim: I got this photo of the sunset with snow

Damian: printed?

Tim: yep, no blur

Damian: leave it on my desk.

Tim: *places photo on desk and leaves*

—-

A few days later

Tim:*sitting on bed in room*

Damian: *comes in and without a word places a painting of the photo onto Tim’s bed and then leaves*

Tim: *silently takes it and hides it away*

Bruce, walking in: hey just wanted to-

Tim: oh hi

Bruce: what was that?

Tim: nothing, just Damian

—-

Bruce: Dick, Tim and Damian never speak. I’m worried they aren’t getting along again

Dick: Their brothers their bound to have disagreements

Bruce: no… I keep seeing them leave things for each other. It could be death threats but by the time I go to check they are gone

Dick: oh… I could ask Damian

Bruce: please

—-

Damian and Tim go sightseeing btw

[brucie-baby]

personally my favourite origin of the name 'batmobile' and such is that dick thought bats were a lame animal to base a whole persona off, so bruce suddenly started naming everything bat-whatever. batcave. batcomputer. batarangs. because yes it annoyed dick, but bruce could see his mouth twitching like it was fighting a smile it hadn't worn in a while. so bruce dug in more. everything he owned was bat-whatever. batshower. batfork. batteries. and eventually dick joins in. bruce's room is the batbedroom. alfred is the batbutler. and then what started as a stupid inside joke suddenly becomes real when bruce accidentally calls the car 'the batmobile' in front of the league but he can't admit it was a slip of the tongue so he stands his ground.

[frownyalfred]

Wally: “Wow you have Batman AND Superman as your dads? It must be so much fun hanging out with them as civilians!”

—

*cut to a rare non-patrol night at the Manor*

*Bruce is wearing glasses, an old Gotham Knights sweatshirt, Clark’s sweatpants, and is reading the Wall Street Journal from an iPad; his feet are tucked under Clark’s legs*

*Clark is wearing Bruce’s hoodie, pajama pants his Ma made him a decade ago, and is ALSO reading from an iPad; every now and then he looks up to try and solve Bruce’s crossword (abandoned in the other room after breakfast) before returning to his article*

—

Dick: “Yeah….they’re super fun…you guys are really missing out!”

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[mylifeingotham]

[celaenaeiln]

Small scenario ask:

A kid version of Robin!Dick gets teleported into the present day of the DCU, in particular during one of those times that Batfamily are split up and at each other’s throats with only Tim(my) and Alfred sort of trying to keep the peace.

They don’t know he’s present until he jumps in from out of nowhere to help the Batfamily take on a Scarecrow attack.

How would they react to this tiny version of Dick and his more chipper and lively attitude especially once he starts asking Batman if these other guys around them are their allies or something?

OMG I AM SO EXCITEEDD!!

THE FUNNY THING IS IVE ACTUALLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOPIC SEPARATELY IN MY HEAD!!

Not this exact scenario but just like how much Dick has changed over the years.

This is SUCH a good fanfic idea!!!

Okay so Dick would jumps into the future where the whole family is fighting and all of a sudden, a brightly colored boy just "POP"'s into the dark batcave.

Everyone at that point had been growling and snarling and screaming at each other over ethics and morals and course of action for a case that devolved into tearing at family lines and loyalties.

The tensions are high and no one is on anyone's side because as united as the batfamily is, they are just as divided.

They're seconds from coming to blows when - pop (goes the weasel. lol jk) - a 3 foot 2'' boy in the most canary yellow cape, scarlet vest, and emerald green scaled shorts blinks into existence.

The batfamily immediately goes for their weapons at the sound and most barely refrain from throwing them at the sight of a boy but some weapons slip out people's hands too fast for them stop.

They watch with their hearts in their throats and move as one to prevent it, their minds barely registering the sight in front of them, the only thought in their heads is - STOP! As if mere words could halt assailing weapons hurtling at breakneck speeds towards the child.

They've barely started moving when the small child - he couldn't have been taller than Batman's hip at the height he was - suddenly bounced on his right foot and used the moment to twirl horizontally in the air. The brilliant yellow cape swirled around his body as he turned, almost acting like a cocoon. The batarang sailed underneath their twirling body while two knives sliced the air harmlessly above him, all three weapons embedding themselves soundlessly into the cave walls behind him.

The batfamily makes an aborted move forward, halting in their tracks as the imminent danger passed and the walking traffic light of a child uses their split-second of decision to stop to take the time to gracefully land on his toes before flipping far out of reach. His back arched back into a perfect elegant little backflips which absolutely should not be possible or done so smoothly for a boy as young as he, but the kid manages anyway to land perched on a railing from the upper batcave level, looking down at them from his spot.

Duke glanced around to see if the rest of them had seen the same thing he did. Clearly not because Bruce, Tim, and Alfred looked like they'd seen a ghost. Jason and Damian looked grudgingly impressed. Steph looked openly impressed.

"So, we’ve got surprise visitors, huh? Gee, swell! You folks friends of B? Wait a sec-that can’t be right. B doesn’t have any friends except for me!" The kid chirped - and Duke swore, honest to god, chirped - with a cheeky grin, hands on his hips like he'd just cracked the world's funniest joke.

Duke just stood there, mouth slightly open, like his soul had momentarily left his body. The kid’s mask squinted as if narrowing his eyes at Bruce.

Duke blinked hard. Am I hallucinating? Did I eat bad takeout? He thought.

Bruce, meanwhile, stood frozen, looking like he was wondering where in his life he went wrong.

“Gee whiz, mister, I don’t mean to jump to conclusions or nothin’, but it’s kinda bad manners to go borrowin’ somebody else’s clothes without asking first!” He gave Bruce an exaggerated once-over, the grin on his face making it clear he wasn’t intimidated in the least. “I mean, that cape looks swell and all, but it isn't exactly screaming ‘your size,’ ya know?”

He tilted his head and piped up, “A friend of Catwoman’s?” His voice was light, full of curiosity and mischief.

Jason suddenly snorted. "A friend of Catwoman's, alright."

Cass gently smiled. Duke suspected she had known from the beginning who he was and thus had not moved a muscle during the chaos. Duke couldn’t shake the feeling it wasn’t because of uncertainty. Nope, Cass had known. She always knew.

He sighed internally. Why was he always the last to catch on to these Batfamily mysteries? On the other hand, maybe he should be grateful. He was still wiping off the remaining sludge off his suit from the last batfamily mayhap.

"Dick?" Bruce’s voice was raw, breaking apart as if it couldn’t decide whether to hope or mourn. It was the sound of disbelief and desperate longing, the kind of ache you didn’t just hear—you felt it. Duke’s chest tightened, a lump forming in his throat. He couldn’t imagine what it must mean to Bruce, but the pain was so thick it was almost unbearable.

"Who are you, mister?" Dick - holy fuck that was Dick. Wait- Duke whipped his head around. Where was their Dick?!

Tim was looking a little peaky in Duke's opinion and that was saying something since the other guy always looked pale.

Bruce raised a shaking hand to his cowl, dragging it down the back of his head almost looking like he wanted to do anything but. "Bruce. It's me, Bruce."

"I know you're a guy who looks like Bruce, but you're not my Bruce."

If his kids' previous deaths hadn't killed Bruce, then that one single sentence did, Duke thought, watching the man.

He saw a flicker of something break inside Bruce. The hardened mask Bruce wore cracked, revealing the raw, vulnerable man beneath. It was like hearing the one thing he feared most—that he wasn’t enough for them—and the way it pierced him was brutal. The light left Bruce's eyes for a moment, and Duke could almost feel the weight of that rejection.

It probably hurts to hear it from an 8 year old version of a person that adored you. Duke realized sadly. He wasn't there for Dick's childhood with the man - none of them were - but he was sure it wasn't called the Golden Ages by everyone for show by all those who had known them then.

"Wait, Alfred?" Dick asked, boring holes into the elderly butler.

So, he recognizes the same Alfred but not Bruce? Duke fought back a hysterical laugh. That's gotta sting. Sorry, man. Duke sent a silent prayer to the man who looked like he didn't know if he was going to start sobbing or glaring daggers.

Alfred cleared his throat, rather wetly in Duke's opinion. "Yes, son." He said and smiled warmly.

The boy gave a hoot of laughter that sent the bats in a flurry as he threw himself off the railing. Steph and Jason scrambled to catch him but mini-Dick (Duke was still half-panicking over where big-Dick went. Big-Dick. Haha) hopped onto Jason's shoulder used Stephanie's back as a personalized springboard and landed happily in Alfred's arms.

He hugged the man's neck like it was a plush toy and Alfred tightly held the boy with one arm under his thighs and the other around his waist.

Duke noted with no small amount of surprise that Dick perceptively didn't point of Alfred's suspiciously wet eyes and near-silent sniffling. It was damn loud for the cave though.

"Hey, did you whip up some cookies? I gotta say, that casserole’s a real knock-out, and your filet mignon? Spot on! Say, after we chow down, how about a rousing game of badminton? I’m on fire today! Let’s shake a leg, have some fun, and see who’s got the best swing!"

"Of course, Master Dick." Alfred said and the two continued conversing as Alfred carried the boy up the stairs of the batcave.

"Say, did you get to the next chapter of Lady in the Lake? I gotta tell ya, there's something fishy goin' on there, like a real gumshoe mystery. I can smell a twist coming a mile away, like a crook with a bad alibi! Whaddya think? There’s more to this dame than meets the eye, I betcha!"

Dick's voice faded as the rest of them dumbfoundedly realized they needed to follow after the two of them. Except for Cass, of course, who was already tugging a stiff Stephanie along.

Duke couldn’t help notice Tim. The guy was practically glowing in the corner like he was about to faint, his face flush with excitement. Duke knew all about Tim’s obsession with Grayson—Steph had spilled enough gossip to fill a novel. Tim had ranted about Dick for years, quoting everything from his acrobatics to his smile. But now, seeing the younger version of Grayson in front of him? Tim was this close to passing out. His eyes were practically sparkles. If there were stars in the Batcave, they were all shining in Tim’s eyes.

“Tim, dude, you alright?” Duke teased, but Tim couldn’t even form words. He just gave a thumbs-up so exaggerated it might as well have come with a marching band soundtrack.

Duke couldn’t shake the feeling that Damian was acting a little… off. The usually fierce, unflappable kid was clearly trying to maintain his tough exterior, but Duke could see the subtle signs. The way Damian’s eyes flicked over to Dick with just a hint of nervousness, his stance rigid, like he was bracing for something, but not quite sure what.

"Is it just me, or is Dick an absurdly happy kid?" Duke suddenly spoke, thinking about Dick's demeanor. The older Dick Grayson was so strict and while he joked, there wasn't a free-hearted levity in him that his child version carried.

The kid had been practically shining, bouncing around the Batcave as if it were his personal playground. This was the same kid who had grown into the stoic, responsible, and sometimes brooding Nightwing. The difference was like night and day. Duke could see the weight of the years had changed him, and as he watched this boy, full of energy and warmth, he realized just how much had been lost. This wasn't the Dick they all knew. This was a Dick that had never seen the kind of pain that had hardened him into the man they looked up to.

It was a version of Dick they would never witness - laughing so freely, so full of life - one that was locked away in Bruce's heart, his memories paying tribute to their god-like figure he'd embellished of their brother.

It was a homage Bruce had unknowingly clung to and fed into, and a part of Duke wondered how much of this Dick, too, had buried inside himself.

Duke felt an ache in his bones, realizing just how much was buried under the weight of Dick’s current life. The boy before him was a ghost of the past that no one would ever get back.

Jason groaned. "One depressing revelation at a time, Duke." He stomped his way up the stairs followed by near swooning Tim, and an anxious Damian.

Bruce hadn't moved an inch. It was as if the air around him had thickened, suffocating both of them with tension. Bruce, usually so composed, was now locked in a frozen tableau of silent agony. His face was unreadable, but his eyes - Duke could see them - betrayed a terrible storm. Guilt, loss, and a deep, unspoken grief. The kind of grief that didn’t make noise but settled in your bones and dragged you under.

But Duke was The Signal. He was the Light, that's what his emblem meant. While Bruce was drowning in his own anguish, Duke could not afford to drown with him. So he patted the man on the back and followed his brothers up the stairs, readying himself for more horrifying realizations about the loss of innocence and joy from their favorite brother.

[natelm2nd]

"how do people not associate clark kent with superman or bruce wayne with batman?"? Every time I see Brian Murphy without glasses and with long hair I do not immediately connect that he's the same guy as short haired glasses murph. If this man ever grows a beard its over for us all.

[holy-obsession-batman]

The only mirror!Tim I accept

Alternate universe!Villain!Tim is a twisted version of Batman, bla bla bla.

Give me a Tim who became the Riddler's sidekick instead of Batman's. Give me a dramatic, theatrical, mischievous trickster of an autistic little shit who is also painfully earnest -- he want the attention! the recognition! he wants the praise! look at me Mom I'm smart!

(Eddie and him bond over Mommy issues)

He's rocking his bowler hat and domino mask, too -- Batman and Robin 100% busted his identity as Tim Drake but he uno-reversed that so they can't bust his identity nor arrest him lest he outs them.

Origin story: since his trip to the circus as a toddler, Tim Drake was traumatized into morality by Dick Grayson/Robin hero worship. Except Robin changed, and now he feels personally vindicated and outraged:

Behold the Sphinx! (cuz it matches the Riddler's thematic and also Tim is a nerd with archaeologist parents)

However he never ever explains what his problem is because he is a little shit like that, just screeches and pettily fixates on Robin with extreme prejudice. But whenever Nightwing is in town he starts swooning -- the first time Tim was like no no no, I won't cause trouble for Nightwing sir your costume is so cool, and then Nightwing dramatically joked that he felt left out (he didn't. This was a QUIP. Nightwing is hypercompetent, as serious as Bruce when it comes to crimefighting, and seriously overworked. HE DIDN'T WANT MORE ROGUE ACTIVITY, HE GETS VERY LITTLE SLEEP AS IT IS-).

Badly-socialized little fanboy Tim 'your parent's death was the worst day of my life' Drake PANIKS, and from then on always earnestly does his best, most over the top schemes specially for Nightwing. Dick is in despair, and Jason is never gonna let him live it down.

So the Sphinx is Robin II's personal nemesis. Which turns into fremesis -- grudging respect, a sorta sense of kinship, since they are nearly the same age (Jason is 2 ys older), both sidekicks and know about each other's two identities. Also nothing says bromance like daily nightly trying to beat up each other with unholy screeches. Very cathartic.

(even if it's not like, literal beating up, cuz Tim is not a fighter; it's more: Tim tries to impale, strangle, drown, burn etc Jason via traps and puzzles and then when Jason finally gets to the end of the traps and to Timmy, he grabs him by the collar and try to shake the crazy out of him while Timmy trashes and scratch like a cat.)

(Oh! maybe Selina taught him some tricks at one point, maybe claimed him as her sidekick while Eddie was in Arkham -- because the Sphinx is part cat right, and Selina finds this feral baby hilarious)

and then when Jason runs away from Wayne Manor to find his birth mother, instead of going to Ethiopia alone, he knocks on the Drakes' door, and then

EDIT: I made a poll for Tim's alias, there are two options

(Masterpost)

[anonyunknownonearth]

Jason is the type of nerd to know all the actual meanings and layered intentions behind book quotes, references, famous quotes, lit quotes, philosophical quotes, but still make jokes & quips about their literal meanings in daily life. But can anyone else do it? Oh HELL no! For How could someone be so shallow, uneducated, dumb, and illiterate regarding old classics?

Behold an Example below:-

All bets are off if anyone else even tries, and Jason calls in backup if needed. The backup is slightly more terrifying than Jason himself on a normal day, but in this situation? She’s just a confirmation of the offenders demolition. No kidding, it’s Barbara effing Gordon

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Please picture with me an au where clark and bruce go to high school together and clark is the golden retriever jock and bruce is the wet cat goth and they are inexplicably best friends and bruce can occasionally be seen grumpily sitting in the bleachers with as little skin showing as possible, squinting in the bright sunlight to watch clark's football practice

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Jason: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!

Bruce: At least TRY to sound sophisticated, when you threaten someone.

Jason: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Bruce: Somehow, that was WORSE.

[kikispool]

i love damian so much, he’s actually my son. every time i look at him i get the urge to protect him and love him unconditionally, he’s such a baby and it makes me cry i love you damian wayne you are my son 🙁

[confessedlyfannish]

DC x DP Writing Prompt 4?? 45?? 2,321?? HUT!!!

"So you eat ectoplasm," Flash says hands clasped and index fingers pressed against his mouth.

"Ayup," Phantom says, punctuating with an obnoxious slurp of his goopy ectoplasm. "Does a not body good."

"But the place you come from is made of ectoplasm."

"Ayup."

"So you are literally eating the fabric of your universe?" Flash says, voice rising in pitch.

"No, the fabric of the Infinite Realms is space-time, same as Earth, well not the same," Phantom says, scrunching up his nose. "Earth is more cotton, The Zone is kinda stretchy...huh, like spandex. Neat!"

"But you're eating up the matter that makes you you--" Flash says, hands waving.

"Dude, everything you are was once a star," Phantom says, waving a hand at all of him. "Every last bit of you and everything around you. Star. Now replace it with ectoplasm, and we just cut out all the middlemen."

Flash watches him guzzle up the last bit looking faintly green himself. "That still kind of sounds like a justification for cannibalism."

"I promise to never eat you," Phantom says with uncomfortable emphasis, suddenly solemn. He stares at Flash without blinking until Flash, deeply unnerved, backs out of the room.

"Not funny," Batman says, flipping a page in his newspaper. "He was supposed to be on Watch Duty."

"Now Batman," Phantom drapes his tail across the man's shoulders and lets his fangs elongate and multiply.

"W̵̢̛͓͉̼͔͉͖̖̥͍̪̲̥̯̞̝͎͔̩̹̙͌̽̐͜ͅh̵̨̠̳̖͔̬̭̟̗̠̹͕̟̮̬͓̺͙̊͛͒ͅo̶̧̢̡̨̨̦͚̼̞̫͈͚̤̜͉̰̱̭͙̣̼͙̱͚͓͐͌̒̋̇ͅ ̵̡̡̰͙̠̦͙̼̘̪͈̻̟̙̳͚̤̮̖̱̎̐̀̇̾͛͊͛͊̈̋̈̋̿̍͑̔̏̎͑̒͗̚͘͝͠͝ͅs̵̡̹̣̗̼̙͓͖͉̒̃͋̂̄̄̈́͋̾̈́̀̎̉̓̒̇͐̎͊̚͝͝a̵̡̧͔͍͍͙͔͖̮̦͚͍̖̲͖͖̻̍͊͆̊̿́̿̅́̈͠͠͠i̴͙͙̾̌͊̓̂̌̒͒d̶̨͚̳̟̲̻̤͇͖̞͙̹̯͙̟͓͙͇͖̺̺̎͊͐̏͌̌̅̄́̏̽̓̃͂̓͜͜͝ͅͅ ̵̧̢͎͔̜̮̼̻̫̗̼͙͍͔̺͎͐̍̈́͜͜͜I̵̢̢̛̙̤̳͈̮̜̩͇͕̠̻̫̳̟̤̭͙͖̓̾̓̇̈́̂͒͂͌̍̎̅̑̇̔̇́͌͜͝ ̵̛̣̮̩̩̞̯̻̱̻̳͍̞͙̗̤̗̥͔̭̥͒͒̌͗̿͐̓̇̈̔̌͒̋̑̽̇͜͝ͅẁ̷̧̮̳̗̗͍̠̦̃a̸̡̧̛̛̺͈͍̟̣̫̺̟̗̥̲̻̥͔͔̲̱̣̩̠̖̰̿̋̄͆̀͋́̐̈́́̈́͌͆̅͂́̈́̓͗́̇ş̵̨̨̨̛̛͔̦͚̦̝̺̯̗͓̼̟͙̼̩̣̺̠̭̘͂̏̓̋̓̋̇̏͊̃͊͊͋̊̑̀͌̂͋͐͘̚͜͝ ̶̢̧͍͓̹̘͍̱̬̜̙̮̖̒̃͊̀̀̓̈́̆̀͐̇̿̀̇̿̆̔̂̈́͘͠ͅͅj̵̯̱̇̈́̌̈͌͆̋̑̇̋̎̐̈̇̓͘͘̚͝o̷̢̙͎̹̰̟̳̼̠̖͉̦̘̺̙͑͂͑̌̉͗̑͑̉͌͜͜͠͝͠ͅk̶̡͇̈́͋̈̈́̐̀̂̈́̽̾͌̂̾̊̑͘͠ḯ̸̢̢̢̞̱̦͙͖̱̙͕̞̮̫̱̣̤̥͍͍̫̗͔͙̞̘̓̂̄͂̿̉͒̈̍̅̍̅̍̏̋̕͘͝͠͝ͅņ̴̛͉̲̮̫̩̙̠̯̤͚̠̥̳͈̝͇́̂͑g̶̛͎̻̟͍̯̪̺̬͍̲̱͇̪̩̰͆̓͊̃̅͗̆̈́̊̈́͘?"

Batman lifts his head from the newspaper silently.

"Ugh, fine!" Phantom says, throwing his hands up. "I'll take next watch."

"Hn."