#btw this is like discourse from five years ago

[fiendfifofum]

This is a man who thinks that people who say 'thoughts and prayers' genuinely think they're trying their best.

Moffat getting more and more angry as he gets older and I'm loving it.

[kinardsevan]

I think a big part of why Ryan feels comfortable enough to say the things that he does is that he knows he won't be punished for him. He won't be fired by Tim, a certain group of fans will always defend him. or ignore the things he says. Like if people aren't ignoring that he said slurs, they're defending it, saying it was years ago and he was sticking up for his wife. And just seem to outright ignore the comments about women.

and this is the issue that allows the discourse to grow. Look, I know that at the end of the day, the same way we all love the colloquialism "far above my paygrade" that these fuckers probably figure the discourse caused is probably too far below their paygrade on it's on them to figure out how to create any kind of solution or speak up in any way to help quell it because, at the end of the day, they're "just working". it's "just a show".

except htat it's not. because we have people on one side doing SO MUCH to try and create a good footprint (for the most part. I will acknowledge that there have been fans called out--rightfully so, too--for choosing to take the low road and use slurs just as the other side has... while that ~spoken for~ other side continue to spew vitriol, hate, and honestly straight-up abuse and slander in some cases. I'm not really one to get on tumblr often and engage in the discourse of "Tommy's viewed as this while Eddie does that"...

EXCEPT. Lou shot the character of Tommy in season 2 with VERY little knowledge. By that logic, he went into season 7 with the same mindset. Tommy, in both of those situations, was not intended to become what he has (at least initially, in terms of s7). He showed up, hit his marks, made his money. Good on him for it, too. And to that end, you have fucking TM & Co. stating the fact that while we don't have Tommy Begins, we also kind-of do because we get to see his growth over time. Further, if we ultimately end up getting him into season 9, 10, etc., I'd like to think that at SOME point, they're going to have to give us more backstory on his life. What drove him to be as clammed up around Gerrard as he was. Did he genuinely not like Hen and Chimney (I doubt that) or was fear a driving factor? Had they actually lost a probie before Chimney? What was it like, going into the army and seeing all of that death, and then being a firefighter? (my headcanon on that, btw, is that Tommy did LAFD at 18, enlisted after losing someone sometime after Chimney Begins, but was out and back with the LAFD by the time Hen Begins airs in 2011.) Especially having to do it under Gerrard? And then, we get Tommy back, five years on from those episodes (and chronologically, roughly 20 years out from the first problematic behavior, and fifteen from the second). We also know that for Bobby Begins Again in 2017, he's GOOD with Chimney and Hen. They built a strong bond with him and Sal, and life was good for all of them together. So we're going to sit back and hold hate against a character for choices he made in his early 20s? This is the same issue with those who want to call Lou out for stuff he posted on Insta 10/15+ years ago. I am not at all sitting here and dismissing the behavior, but I apply Gabriel Iglasias' logic to it: it's not acceptable now, but it was viewed as acceptable at the time.

Here's the difference: Ryan's behavior was not and IS NOT viewed as acceptable now. His slurs in the late 2010's were ALREADY problematic. As someone who was around for the aughts, 2010s and beyond, using that vernacular outside of that particular culture has not being viewed as acceptable for quite some time. I don't care WHO he was defending. If he really needs to sink as low as using the N word, it's pathetic. There are plenty of other curse words you can use in a fit of anger that isn't going to invoke an entire race of people in a poor way. the misogyny issues aren't any better, and if anything, they continue to build on the issues happening in the US government at this very moment. I've had a number of conversations with my bestie about the fact that we haven't seen anyone from the 9-1-1 cast speak out about the protests happening at the moment and it's like...

Ok. >Oliver probably can't. We assume he's here on a visa, there are likely contractual issues to speaking up, etc. Also, while he makes a decent amount of money on the show, with the cost of living in LA and everything/one else he has to pay, I don't imagine he's living the high life. (also cameras and film are expensive AF). >This doesn't necessarily impact anyone else as much. I'm okay with letting Lou off the hook, because he's not a main cast member and there's definitely a small to moderately sized impression in the fandom that he's among the alphabet mafia. Not wanting to draw that attention back to himself is understandable. Referring back to how expensive it is to live in LA, and him not being a main on 911, let me remind yall of something.

in 2024, I did a post about how people were complaining about him with his cameos and their cost, etc. I mentioned that during the strike an actress (whose name evades me atm, but I can see her face in my head and I want to say that it's Michelle Hurd, but I could be wrong.) Whoever it was though that was in the video (which was from SAG), talked about your average working actor and explained THIS: >the average working actor that is NOT a main on a primetime show average somewhere between like 6-7k per episode (roughly, my memory isn't super clear on the number, but I'll explain why that doesn't matter in a second). To that end, most working actors that we think of who do guest spots usually do 2-4 spots a season, but usually around 3. Now, they don't get to TAKE HOME that money. Out of that money comes their dues, the cost to their agent, the cost to their publicist, living expenses, and so forth. Further, just to QUALIFY for SAGs health insurance, you needed to clear more than 24k+ a year as a working actor (again, I don't have the specific number). So... 7x3=21. Then you take out taxes, and then you start nickel and diming that shit. While we can assume Lou was/is definitely making more than he was, and that he probably was doing better after being bumped from guest to recurring along with his spot as Rocker, homeboy probably isn't clearing anywhere near what his costars are who are mains on their respective shows.

Beyond that, we have others who I can still give the benefit of the doubt. Aisha, if I remember correctly, has immigrants in her family. I imagine Kenny does too. But why am I willing to give them a pass and not Ryan? (Because they're not out here touting conservative barefoot and pregnant culture bullshit into the ether).

The people I severely struggle to give a pass on this TRULY, is Peter and Angela. Based on my google search THIS WEEK, in 2023, Angela was making 450k per episode. Assuming she clears 500k now.... homegirl doesn't need to listen to any contractual obligations on what she can/cannot speak about. she's doing just fine with or without 911. I'd even make that argument for JLH, who has spent YEARS being a main on one show or another. Her last two shows, she was top billing. THESE are the people who need to be speaking up/out. It's utterly baffling that a show with a cast that is black/white/asian/hispanic/italian hasn't said ONE WORD about what's happening at the moment.

I realize this completely devolved from my original point, but it's also stuff that needs to be said, because at the end of the day, if someone would pick up the reigns and speak on THOSE things, then maybe someone would open their mouths about the things Ryan is putting out into the ether. I truly cannot fathom how this man has put his rhetoric out into the world more and more increasingly in the past few years, and continues to go unchecked.

anyway.

[tortured-demigods-department]

an unhinged (and unofficial) dissertation on the pjo fandom

so i don't usually post anything that isn't my-works-related, but i had a...mildly heated discussion with a fellow film student tonight about the pjo show and it's got me thinking. bear with me, we'll be here awhile.

as we all know, the first season of pjo has ended. i've stayed relatively OFF tumblr and other social media during this time, but i know there are a lot of OG fans who are (in their words) "massively disappointed" in the show. most of the complaints i've heard have been during in person conversations though, so this post is mostly going to be referencing real complaints i've heard.

i've been a part of this fandom since i was thirteen. that's nearly eight fucking years of my life that i've devoted to the pjo universe. i have written and consumed YEARS' worth of fanfiction, i have read and reread every book so many times i can quote them forwards and backwards, and i went to the bookstore every single year on the new books' release dates to pick up my copies in-person. this fandom, these characters and this world have brought so much joy to my life, and i don't think i could ever fully articulate that in words. when i think of this series, i genuinely feel nothing but happiness.

but a few years ago—around the time i started college—i started distancing myself from the fandom for one glaring reason. this fandom can be such an...angry place? like, genuinely, i don't know how far it goes back—maybe all the way to the release of HoA, honestly—but i wasn't here pre-HoA, so all i know is that i very much remember how much people hated ToA when it came out.

here i was, having the TIME of my life with apollo and his silly little haikus, and people are going to war over how the series' writing quality has gone to shit and how everything was better before, blah, blah, blah. IN SPITE of everything that series gave us—discussion of the repercussions of child abuse and ptsd, representation of lgbtqa+ characters, and deep psychological messages that really teach young readers, i think, how to better understand themselves and their emotions and deal with them in healthy ways. and it just wasn't fun to be in a fandom where, as soon as you go "hey, did you read the new book?" they scoff and roll their eyes and only want to talk about how terrible it is. (i also missed all the discourse on the sun and the star when it came out—PHENOMENAL read, btw—but i've read some things that lead me to believe that it wasn't well received either, in spite of how lovely it was.)

so...it's dramatic to say i "left" the fandom, but i certainly withdrew from it. deleted my pjo ao3 and tumblr, started over with a different fandom. but the love has always been there, and the show starting really helped spark it fully back to life.

but now, the same thing is happening again, i'm noticing. remember back in the day, when we only had the shitty fucking movies, and we were like "man, ANYTHING would be better than this garbage. literally just give us actors who are the right age and we'll be happy." well, now we have PHENOMENAL kid actors who genuinely are having a good time playing our beloved characters, and instead of supporting them, we're STILL complaining about them not being "portrayed correctly"?

i've talked to so many people who complain that percy is "too smart," which is kind of a bullshit insult to percy's canon character. in the books (at least the first five) we're seeing things ONLY from percy's pov. he's a kid who's struggled with learning disabilities and been told he's an idiot all his life by everyone except his mom—but as others have pointed out way more eloquently than i could, percy is a very intelligent and powerful individual while maintaining his goofy fun personality, which is WHY so many people love him so much. he's complex, and i think they managed to capture that really well in the show even amidst all the changes.

don't get me started on the fucking racism towards leah sava jeffries—i'm honest to gods ashamed that there are racists who call themselves pjo fans. she is so talented, and everything we ever could have hoped for in an on-screen annabeth. ALL of the kids are—there's literally no argument to be had there.

and then, if people aren't complaining about the casting, it's the series' writing. or there's too much exposition. rick is changing too many things. the directors don't know what they're doing. it's not a TRUE book adaptation. (someone said that to me, and i genuinely laughed because i thought they were joking. when the MOVIES exist, they wanted to make that comment about the show.)

are there some things i would change about the show, given the opportunity? god, yes. the set design for the underworld was horrendous. (in my opinion, of course.) but here's the thing. i have spent eight years of my life waiting for this show to happen, and in that time, i've learned a lot about how much goes into successfully producing such a complex series. how much money and time is spent, and how many people have to be on board to make it happen. it's genuinely kind of miraculous that we're even getting this show at all, considering all the ways it could have failed before it even made it out of pre-production.

and i think we, as fans, sometimes forget that we aren't owed this. we don't own the percy jackson franchise. it makes me so sick and tired when authors or artists in any capacity feel like they have to cater their works to the masses, because they know they'll get thrown into the fucking fire if they don't. rick and becky riordan didn't have to got to the trouble of producing this show for us. they chose to—everyone involved chose to—because they wanted to make something fun and enjoyable not only for the fans, but everyone who chose to be a part of it.

do you know how insane it is that, when you read pretty much any interview of pjo bts, everyone talks about how fun the production was? i've been on film sets. they can be ABSOLUTELY miserable when they're not done right. but eight months into production, the kids were still laughing and having a good time, everyone's still giving 100%, they're excited, it's fun. walker was willing to go into a diving tank for a full fucking day in order to get one scene—i know i would never have that kind of dedication, and i bet 99% of you wouldn't either.

i know this has gotten really long-winded, but i've said all of that to say that...i'm kind of tired of fans trying to bring down the show, and more than that, trying to bring down each other for having a good time. as i've said before (many times, i'm sure), i waited eight years for this, and i have had SUCH a fun time watching it. assuming we get a season 2 renewal, there are going to be even more new fans coming in than we've already gotten from season 1, and i want this fandom to be a fun and positive place for them. for all of us. we don't have to miserable and angry all time. we can critique the show, sure—it's not perfect, and it was never going to be—but we have to remember that television is an art form, and that art is subjective even when it involves our favorite characters. and we can accept that and still have a good time, because it's just more fun to have fun, you know?

this fandom has always had so much potential to be the BIGGEST, most supportive and kind and loving fandom. with how much representation this series has, with how much content we've been given, with the SHEER massive number of us...i've always thought we could be a really, really great community. maybe it's impossible to hope that we could be the best fandom on earth, but if nothing else...could we all try to just be a little bit kinder? genuinely, as cheesy as it may sound...it's just nicer when we're nice to each other. and when there's so many real things in the world to be mad about...i would much rather this be a place where we can come to at the end of a long day and just...feel at home. personally, i just think that would be really, really nice.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[effei-s]

your fave is a rapist, deal with it (part 1).

I wanted to talk about the way mafi handles sensitive topics (sexual assault and violence against women in general) for a very long time. But I had some doubts about it. Do I really need to do this? Is this even be useful or would I just waste my time shouting into the void? Because I tried to start this conversation on twitter about a year ago and… it didn’t go well. So I decided to focus on something more positive, like shitposting and writing fanfiction and creating headcanons and blah-blah-blah. But today all hell broke lose and I saw 20 threads on twitter explaining how sexual assault was actually juliette’s fault. Treads and tweets that were getting 500+ likes each and god knows how many comments under them agreeing with this line of thinking.

And as a cherry on top: the girl who tweeted the original tweet (when she apparently said that it was a sexual assault) got bullied by the fandom so bad, she needed to go private.

So let’s reread THAT scene in shatter me, and parts of destroy me and unravel me that touch this topic, to see who’s right. Maybe this girl was actually wrong and maybe she just misjudged the whole situation and she deserved to be bullied for spreading this awful misinformation about our king AARON aka the man who invented feminism itself WARNER (minor spoilers: she wasn’t and she didn’t).

  We need a little bit of context here. The books are old. They were written in 2011. It was the golden time of Gossip girl and Vampire diaries. Chuck Bass and Damon Salvatore were walking around assaulting women left and right and everyone loved them (off the topic, but i’m 99% sure that Chuck was a blueprint for Warner, there’s way too many similarities between them). In 2011 it was NORMAL and even considered sexy (trust me, I was one of those people, those were dark times). So it’s not surprising that there is a sexual assault scene in book, it’s surprising that in 2021, when everyone is a feminist, after the metoo movement, when there’s so much info about all kinds of abuse and red flags and there are stories of survivors, we still blame women for bad thing that happened to them.

There’s gonna be quotes (a shittone of quotes) because that’s who I am, and because you can’t really argue with the source material???? Everything is there, on the surface. All you have to do is READ.

To give you a type of discourse around this:

(it’s a google translate but it’ll do, and i’m not gonna show any un, because that’s what stupid bitches, who bully other people because of the book character, do)

The main point, the main argument, is that Warner has a super power and he feels EVERYTHING JULIETTE FEELS! So he would never hurt her.

Let’s see what she feels:

(btw, it’s chapter 39, shatter me)  

Warner drops his hand. His glassy green eyes are so delighted I’m petrified.

Warner backs me into a corner and I realize I’ve never been so defenseless in my life. Never so vulnerable.

“We can really be together,” he says to me, undeterred by my silence. He pulls me close, too close. I’m frozen in five hundred layers of fear. Stunned in grief, in disbelief.

My brain is on fire, ready to explode from the impossibility of this moment. I feel like I’m watching it happen, detached from my own body, incapable of intervening.

Yes, she definitely want to have sex with him! She’s incredibly aroused by him.

“I want you to choose me,” he says. “I want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want this—”

Oh, look, he KNOWS she doesn’t want him. And he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it.

“You’re only afraid of what you’re capable of. Admit it. We’re perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. You’re . . . attracted to me.”

Do I even need to comment this shit?

JULIETTE TELLS HIM NO. WARNER STILL DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK.

So she tries to communicate non-verbal:

I try to swing my fist but he catches my arms. Pins them to my sides. Presses me up against the wall.

Because that what you do when someone want to have sex with you. You force them to stay.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Juliette. You’re going to come back with me whether you like it or not.”

HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HER CONSENT, exhibit number 3.

“But you can choose to want it. You can choose to enjoy it—”  

I really don’t know what can scream RAPIST louder than this. You can choose…

Like… he knows. He. Knows.

“I will never,” I breathe, broken. “You’re sick—you’re a sick, twisted monster—”

“That’s not the right answer,” he says, and seems genuinely disappointed.

(I have to confess, I haven’t read this book in a long time, I forget how awful this scene really was. how the fuck someone can see consent HERE???? you need to check your eyes, people. And maybe buy yourself a new brain with working “critical thinking” function)

His nose brushes the nape of my neck and I stifle a horrified shiver that he misunderstands. His lips touch my skin and I actually whimper.

I feel a thrill of hope. A thrill of horror. Brace myself for what I need to do.

SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO HAVE SEX! CAN’T YOU SEE IT?

I swallow the vomit threatening to give me away.

“I’ll be good to you,” he whispers. “I’ll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.”  

Ew, gross.He’s fucking creppy. 

I’m so stunned, so horrified, so cocooned in insanity I forget myself. I stand there frozen, disgusted. My hands slip from his chest. I nearly shove him off of me. But Warner will not be discouraged.

Warner. Feels. Everything. She. Feels.

So there’s three options:

he’s a rapist who doesn’t give a fuck about her consent:

he’s a stupid rapist who thinks that wanting to vomit and being ashamed and terrified is part of a foreplay;

he’s never being with the woman before, so he can’t recognize VERY OBVIOUS signs that she doesn’t want to have sex due to his inexperience, and it still makes him a rapist.

No matter how you put it, the result is always the same: this scene is an attempted rape, and if you say that Juliette is at fault because she had to pretend to like it, you’re a rapist apologist.

(I covered destroy me and unravel me in part two and three because it’s getting way too long)

[thatpinkbetch]

Hi! Im new to mha and got into it mostly from tiktok. And before i knew anything abt the series they made it seem like bkdk/ shipping was very controversial? And then i started watching the series and immediately saw why the bkdk ship is so popular. From what i saw on there, some mha ships are v creepy, (adult/minor) tho its definitely the minority bc i got on here to browse tags and accounts & its all nice! Tiktok makes it seem like shipping bkdk/ mha ships are weird. I love ur blog btw!

Hi! Oh my goodness I'm so glad you joined and you seem to be having a good time!! I'm also really glad that you were able to see right through those early biases!! You've got a good head on your shoulders 😊😊😊

Yeah, there are plenty of people that seem stuck on Bakugou's line from the first episode/chapter, but it takes ignoring quite a bit of canon and some misinterpretation to still think of him as just a bully by the time you've caught up. A lot of people who hate Bakugou and Midoriya's relationship seem to like to simplify it, along with...everything, really. For bkdk shippers, the complexity is really one of our favorite parts! I found it so fun to experience the journey of going from hating Bakugou and not wanting them near each other, to loving Bakugou, and then wanting them to be friends, and then seeing them as soulmates - platonic or romantic! Watching Bakugou change, coming upon multiple realizations over time as I watched Midoriya and figured out how they truly felt about each other...their relationship is so well written!! I really think Horikoshi is a genius, because i went on my own journey watching theirs ☺☺☺

I've been into bnha for 2 years now and I've had a bkdk side blog for a year and a half, and I do think shipping bkdk used to be much more controversial, and we used to receive quite a bit of backlash, but with the past 90 or so manga chapters many manga readers have been forced to see what these two mean to each other. I genuinely can't wait for season five to happen because then the anime watchers will get to experience it too!! (Season 5 will definitely be game changing I promise 😁😁😁). I've said it before and I'll say it again, but bakudeku shippers are in it for the long run!!! It's all about the slow burn! But that's what makes it so beautiful, is the time and effort put into it, from both Horikoshi and the boys themselves.

Abxkfnskxjoaod I'm sorry this ended up becoming a small love letter to Bakudeku sndkgjekfjsk 💖💖💖

There are...definitely spaces in this fandom I try to avoid, though that can definitely be said about any fandom! But yes, I have blocked a couple people over adult/minor ships, but you're right, it does seem to be a minority! I did make a post a while ago but to anybody still reading, let this be a reminder that i don't support adult/minor ships or shipping or anyone who supports that. No discourse, just block me.

But yeah tumblr is all about who you choose to follow, and if you find the right people, the experience can be incredible!!! I've met some amazing people in this fandom, and I've found bkdks to be some of the most supportive and loving people! Like I said, bkdks are in it for the long run. They love depth and complexity and growth!! I'm so happy you've been able to prove Tiktok wrong! 😁😁 it's always important to be wary of people who criticize "obsessive" fandoms and people who enjoy queer ships/content as simply fetishizing, because they're often ridiculing neurodivergent people for their hyperfixations and actual queer people who just want to see themselves in the media they consume 😞

Tumblr gets a lot of flack from other social media sites but those sites have their own problems that they seem to ignore and instead call us weirdos 🤔 there are problems here, but i feel the insinuation that a lot of the shipping is adult/minor is an easy jab to delegitimize us, because the show is about students going to school! So it's very easy to believe that a lot of the shipping might be like that, when in actuality, the biggest ships are of the same age! I said I've blocked some people over adult/minor ships, but really it's only been maybe 3 people max? I just think it's so awesome that you were able to take those preconceived notions, check them out for yourself, and dismiss them as invalid! It's a very important trait to have, and not many people online exercise that ability!!

Abxivnskfnekcks oh gosh this went on so long!!! You inspired me 💖💖💖 thank you so much for sending this ask!!! It made me so happy to read 😭😭😭 again I'm really glad you've been having a good time and that you like my blog 🥺🥺 I hope you like to stick around and interact, because you sound really cool and smart!!! Have a lovely day/night/life!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[churchkey]

2020 Writing Wrapped

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @anthrobrat and one of my resolutions is to do the stuff people tag me for (and also, Laura is just wonderful and I’m lucky that she’s my friend) so I’ll give this a twirl. 

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8(ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work.

I don’t know if I can make it to eight but we’ll see. Here’s a fun story - I used to be in this fandom back when we just shared stuff in a super-secret private community on LJ because many of the IRL guys were still alive and we were horrified of people finding out about us. But that was like 15 years ago and a lot has changed so here I am back on my bullshit and really so grateful that this fandom is still around because my love for this series and the very beautiful actors responsible for the fictionalized versions of the IRL guys and their crazy passionate ships who live rent-free in my soul has not dimmed a bit. So THANK YOU for being here and reading my stories inspiring me with YOUR stories and headcannons and being my friends. 

So here we go. All of these are Winnix, btw. Someday I’ll learn to write for another ship. 

Total (posted) Word Count: 119,294

1. A Spell of Riot (E) This is hands-down, no question, the fic I am most proud of having finished, not just this year but in all of my fandom career. I got the idea to write it from a kiss prompt last summer, just a light little thing about Dick saying goodbye to Lew as he drops him off for alcohol treatment. I never dreamed it would turn into 62k of something into which I ended up pouring three months of love and stress and tears and fairly painstaking research. The feedback I’ve gotten from you about this has been so incredibly humbling and I truly believe I’ve become a more compassionate person from this experience. You just never know what invisible battles people are fighting. I feel lucky to have had this opportunity to tell this part of their story.

2. It Is My Heart That’s Late (E) This was the first thing I ever wrote for the LLSS prompt meme, so it was kind of the first step I took toward actually being a part of the community rather than just going about my work in silence and isolation (which, tbh, I still do... I’m just that kind of writer, but I’m trying to get better about connecting with other creators). For this one I got to flex my description muscles, which was probably the biggest challenge of this story. I wanted to make readers feel immersed in the whole sensual world of Iowa in the summertime, as well as the inner nostalgic world of lovers coming back together after five years. It was also the first time I wrote an OC and had a lot of fun channeling what I think my mom/aunts would have been like at that age (as the whole thing was based on what she’s told me about growing up in that place at that time... Dick as the hired man is based on her family’s hired man, Tommy, who lived in a little cottage on their back 40. Sorry that’s probably more than you want to know.) ANYWAY. I was really happy with the subtlety (I think) I was able to bring out in the way their love has changed over the time they’ve been apart. And I got Dick’s ass to Chicago, finally!

3. Roger Wilco (E) I like this one because I think it’s the ultimate Porn with Feelings, even though when I started I tried to just make it straight-up porn. But I’m a sucker for them being completely smitten with each other, and those feelings sort of bleeding into everything they do/say/think/feel. I also think it’s pretty hot, if I do say so myself. Describing Dick pleasuring himself is like... maybe my favorite thing to write about with him, sex-wise. 

4. Things He Cannot Lose (T) The very first story I posted when I came back to the BoB fandom was Long Ago and Far Away, but that was a collection of ficlets I’d written many years ago. This one was the first new thing I’d written in many many years and it felt so freaking good to be writing again, and being in these guys’ heads again, and trying to do justice to the pining and brooding and angsting and loving. It was also the first peek of erection-probs Lew, which you all know by now is a thing I love to work in whenever I can. Sweet, drunk, lovelorn mess that he is, bless his soul. 

5. Free Kittens (T) It’s so silly but I’m proud of this one because I feel like I can’t write fluff and, aside from some of Dick’s decidedly non-fluffy attitudes toward the barn kittens, I think I managed to make it pure, uncomplicated domestic fluff. I hope so, anyway. I also freed myself of my narrative structure of staying in one character’s POV for an entire scene, trying instead to do a little more free indirect discourse and float back and forth between them. So even though it’s silly AF, this one has poked its sharp little claws into my heart. 

And I’m awful at the tagging thing and feel like I'm just annoying people by tagging them and also that they’ve already been tagged a million times but here we go @speirtongirl and @rillalala

[daesungindistress]

Hey maybe your recent anon thought hourlydae is ot4 because they weren't following hourlysr? hourlyot4 accs are only following each other i think. i saw someone comment about it on twt weeks ago

Yeah you’re like the fourth person to tell me this... thanks. I’m not fully integrated with stan Twitter culture and so tend to forget how obsessively the OT5 crowd there monitors the activity of accounts they dislike (a big contributor to that cult mentality of theirs btw). And now hourlyseunghyun and hourlygdragon have been mysteriously reported and suspended (or in the case of hourlygd, restricted), just days after this discourse started here. You can’t tell me that’s coincidence. Though from what y’all have shared with me, it sounds like OT5 fans have been fostering -- no, fanning these suspicions among themselves for weeks.

Ah, yes. Bitter OT5s proving once again that they're the real antis by succumbing to senseless paranoia and attacking harmless accounts that do nothing but share pics of the BB members without comment. BIGBANG's biggest enemies hard at work making the "none" part of "five or none" a reality. Solidarity! 🙄

You know, I’ve been saying since the beginning that this fixation with following/followers is pointless. Now these people are ganging up on accounts for not following accounts they’ve decided they should be following? In that case, who’s gonna tell these OT5 crazies that GD doesn’t follow SR on Twitter anymore? They gonna report him too? (I’d bet money that a bunch of them already have; they’ve been turning on the members one by one for various perceived “offenses” since last year.)

Anyway, all this unnecessary drama just adds another point in Tumblr’s favor as a safe (well, safer) platform for fandom: here following activity is private. Unless the owner of an account wants to make that info known it’s no one’s business who people follow or why. All it does is fuel speculation, encourage stalking behavior, and enable targeted harassment.

[iamanartichoke]

This is neither eloquent nor organized. I’m very frustrated and I just need to get things off my chest. 

Please do not reblog this post. 

Cut for anti-Ragnarok discourse, pro-Ragnarok discourse, the Ragnarok discourse war, mention of Thorki, and general venting. 

I’m not using tags bc I don’t want this post to show up in them. Very sorry and if any of these things is one of your blacklists, please keep scrolling.

Yesterday, I read a fic.

I was wandering through some of the Thorki content on twitter, and followed a link to one of the big bang fics, bc it was a human AU and das my jam.

I didn’t recognize the author’s name. The fic was extremely well-written, though: lots of feels, beautiful narration, a sweet ending balanced with a lot of sadness. It was one of those fics that gave me a lump in my throat.

I was only going to leave kudos, but then I figured I’d take the extra five seconds and leave a comment, bc we all know how much authors like comments. I mean, I’d rather someone leave a comment than kudos, especially if the fic really affected them.I get it and I gotchu, fam. 

Anyway, so I left a comment and proceeded to click on the author’s profile to see what else they’ve written. As you do.

I recognized their AO3 icon, even though I didn’t recognize the name. I’d seen them around on some Ragnarok wank on tumblr. I went to double-check, and it was the same user, and also they’d blocked me.

I do not know this person. I have never spoken to this person. Yet they’ve gone out of their way to block me, most likely bc I associate with the anti-Ragnarok crowd. This happens to me a lot. I’ve even had a couple of former mutuals unfollow and block me (without saying anything to me) and those felt like punches to the gut.

I understand not wanting to see content that you don’t like or that upsets you. Everyone has the right to block whomever they wish. But I can’t deny that getting blocked like that – by someone I don’t know, let alone interact with – fucking hurts. I know it’s not that deep but I can admit it. It’s a shitty feeling and it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s not really about this particular person at all, although it’s a shame bc they’re a good writer I probably would have followed otherwise. But this entire anti/pro Ragnarok war has gone so far and it’s exhausting. I stayed pretty neutral for as long as I could. 

And here’s the thing. My observations, both from being neutral and also being someone who, despite often being quietly blocked, tends to fly under the radar are this:

The majority of the negativity comes from the pro side.

Look, I side with and agree with the anti side on this one. I can admit, however, that sometimes it gets tiresome to see posts get turned into Ragnarok criticism or tiresome to see more posts on my dash about this that or another thing that sucks about Ragnarok and why. It, like anything, can be tiring.

But I also see that the anti side largely does its best to keep to itself. The pro side complained about the Ragnarok tags, so the anti side made an anti tag, and the pros still come into it to complain. The anti side will post their discussions and criticisms and they largely just circulate within the same group of people. The discussions are almost always criticisms on the source material (ie, the film) and not about anyone who enjoys it.

Now, maybe I don’t see everything. Though I don’t think I’m biased just bc I agree with the anti side – in fact, it was these attributes that made me take a closer look at what they were saying bc maybe they had a point after all. I don’t follow every anti Ragnarok user, but I do follow a lot. I can’t say personal attacks and whatever never happen - but, I hardly ever see them.

That’s not the case with the pro side. I don’t think I follow many from that side, but I see so much negativity from them. It’s like this kind of underhanded negativity that I’m not quite sure how to explain. It’s tonal negativity. 

I mean, sometimes it’s blatant. Name-calling (Loki stans, lackeys, pathetic, delusional, and racist come to mind) is an example. But more than that, there’s this collective tone among the pro side that smacks of condescension and I can’t stand it.

They make fun of the “dissertations” that have been written.

They always include an “lol” or laugh emoji or something to express that they’re not the ones taking this seriously.

They fall back on saying they don’t care about a two-year-old movie.

They’re laughing and making fun and at the same time acting like they’re so above it all.

They want us to just shut up already.

What it comes down to is this: it’s not just a matter of being able to agree to disagree because the pro side actively acts offended that the antis are even having these critical discussions, even if the antis have gone out of their way to not involve the rest of the fandom at all.

(Again, this is not every pro person, but the majority. Tone does matter online, and the overall tone of the pro side is not positive. I say this from a mostly neutral place.)

And here’s a thing about “oh my god, it came out two years ago, get over it!” Yeah, it came out two years ago. So fucking what? You guys are still engaging with it, via fics and headcanons and art. How old the movie is doesn’t matter when you’re having fun with it, but when someone wants to engage with it in a (valid) critical way that you don’t like? No. That’s unacceptable. That’s pathetic. That’s being a lackey. Get over it.

Even writing this, I know that things are much worse for others than they are for me. I get stealth blocked; others are called out by name in public posts, receive anon hate, and are actively targeted.

It’s just, this shit is so fucking toxic to this fandom and it honestly needs to stop. Both sides need to not only stop engaging one another, but also stop acknowledging one another. We get it: you either like the movie or you don’t.

Let people do their own thing. Don’t be fucking obnoxious. If you disagree and genuinely want to talk about it, then try to remember there’s a person on the other side of the screen and be civil. If you disagree and don’t want to talk about it, then just fucking don’t.

If you see a post you disagree with, scroll past. And, yes, block the person if you need to (and sometimes it might be me that needs blocking and I recognize my hurt feelings are my own personal problem, not whoever else’s).

There are a lot of movies in the MCU that are not perfect. (Btw, it baffles me a little to get hated on for my stance on Ragnarok, when I am so much more vocal [and emotionally invested] in hating the Russos and IW/Endgame – but, whatever.) There are a lot of interpretations of characters that are different. There are a lot of people who project their own identity or issues or whatever onto any particular character that resonates (and that’s okay!) and there are a lot of people who don’t project but still identify with a particular character (and that’s okay, too).

Stop judging whether someone is a “real” fan of a character/franchise or not. Just because someone isn’t engaging with the source material in the way you are, and just because they don’t see it in the same way that you do, does not make them wrong. (Yes, this applies to the pro side, too. None of them are wrong or less valid for enjoying and even stanning the movie.) It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else here. 

Acting otherwise is honestly going to kill this fandom. Because it bleeds over. Fics will have less readers, bc they don’t want to interact with something posted by someone they dislike (or who blocked them). There’s less sharing of things like art and headcanons and content. People unfollow and block each other, people are having to watch what they say, people are losing friends (and potential friends) bc they may be a great person but they don’t agree with you about fucking Ragnarok.

I came to tumblr bc it was the only place where not only could I find other people who loved Loki as much as I did, but it was the only place where I could express that. Express it in fic, in headcanons, in meta. Being creative and starting dialogues and just interacting. I wish we could get that vibe back.

I wish none of this bothered me so much.

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!

[jewelsofwisdom]

Third Conditionals or The Power of Sunflowers

They call it the Third Conditional.

In an effort to simply all the permutations of calendar times and verbal tenses that buzz around in the head of poor, confused speakers of English as a second language whenever the word “if” inserts any uncertainty into discourse, some unknown grammar whiz invented a model. And they numbered these things they call “If Clauses” or “Conditionals”.

Conditional 1 deals with real, future conditions. Example:  If the King is murdered, the monarchy will fall. If the monarchy falls, we will want to rename the streets that are named after minor aristocratic figures. If we run out of republican heroes (I mean, after all you can’t name parks after the two crazy men who not only killed the King and his 20 year old son but just barely missed killed the 19 year old as well), we might have to raise up some rags to riches success story and slap his name onto something. So was born the Parque Silva Porto. But I get ahead of myself.

Image: Amadeu Escórcio

The Second Conditional is the easiest to understand the need for. It’s the Big Lottery Win Conditional. Present situations that are impossible:  I were a boy, I would(n’t)… or highly unexpected future ones: If I became a boy, I would(n’t)… Oh wow.  The Transgendered Age has served me up fitting examples.  

This is all just to say, though, that there is then a Conditional III. It takes an erstwhile event, imagines changing the past and then thinks of all the possible (or just one if you’re not greedy) alternate consequences. If Donald Trump had not won, I would(n’t)…Oh...More correct and still grammatically, I might have moved back to the U.S. . I mean, I really, really liked Big Stone Gap when I was there last year.

But I’m here, and here is Lisbon, Portugal, BTW. And for some reason I wanted to tell you about my day.  (We’ll get back to the grammatical part later.)

I woke up under a black cloud today. Literally (unusual July weather) and, most importantly, emotionally. Children happily ensconced with their dad for the week-end. Love interests tottering towards disinterest. Friends too busy, or too busy.

My plan for the day, a run followed by finishing off that short story seemed unfeasible. Stupidly I went to check the weather on the iMac and Facebook popped up. Bad words! Last thing I wanted to see was the smiling faces of friends from long ago and far away!

I banged the machine shut and took my loneliness for a walk. Not a bike ride, nor a run. The millstone was much too heavy for that kind of energy. My loneliness preferred to walk. I thought to seek out streets around my apartment that hadn’t met my feet yet. But I also wanted to do a few hills, so I pointed us to the highest ones around, those at the Parque Silva Porto, otherwise known as the Benfica Wood.

My sadness, or an excess of familiarity with the spot, took me straight past the gorgeous wrought iron gates and the 1915 tile work.

Instead, I climbed as quickly as I managed the steep, wooded hill that was donated to the city in 1911, on the condition it would be made into a park. My only stop was to gather eucalyptus leaves, stunned as I was by the beauty of their decay.

My thoughts, though, were on those conditionals. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will tell you they were Thirds:  If I hadn’t fallen in love with Brazil…If things had worked out there… If I hadn’t returned home…If I hadn’t met a Portuguese man back home…If I had finished my PhD…If I had worked at a different school…If I hadn’t gone freelance…

In short, today I gave in to the rare opportunity to rue – not so much the choices I’ve made, but the empty spaces they’ve carved into myself, my heart, my wallet.  

António Carvalho da Silva had been born in a poor section of the city of Porto. Then he, like me, left his home city at an early age. Two years in Paris studying painting, another one in Italy, a few traveling and it was 1879 when he was invited to teach in Lisbon. It was in the capital that he had one of his first paintings bought by the King, made a name for himself, and brought naturalism to Portugal. Then, despite his shy ways, he became a permanent member of the salon the Grupo do Leão named for the beer hall where they met. Silva is the morose figure at the center, surrounded by some of the most famous intellectuals of the day, including painters and poets, cartoonists and ceramicists.

Image: Colombano Bordalo Pinheiro

It was in Lisbon that the painter was tenured to teach landscape painting, that he married, fathered 7 children and then died in 1893 at the age of 43.  We have a clue to at least one of his Third Conditionals. He never went back home to live, yet he incorporated the city’s name into his own and signed his paintings António Silva Porto.

So, how did a painter’s name come to grace a park? I’ve found no connection between him and Benfica. An accident of history, perhaps?

Cue entrance of another Third Conditional.

Changes in regime in Portugal have often led to changes in the names of streets and monuments. That includes parks. Following the Portuguese regicide (1908), when the Republican Revolution (1910) did away with the Monarchy, the place naming authorities had to come up with new, republican heroes. All those friends at the Grupo de Leão had been rabid Republicans. And Mr. Silva was as far from aristocracy as you could get. His mother had been a lace maker, his father a tinker.  So, in 1918, the Park was named for Silva Porto.

Today, my search for novelty led me to exit the top gate of the park, into the Bairro de Cima of Santa Cruz. The Estado Novo, as Salazar’s fascist dictatorship was known, left 1950’s townhouses originally built as social housing. They are now gentrifying into posh dwellings.

Image: Manuel Correia

I wandered into the next town, Amadora and only stopped when I arrived at the train line. Next I circled around the Fófó (Clube Futebol de Benfica, not to be confused with world famous SLB).

Then I turned my meander towards home. Before I even saw it, the hawking of the bookseller announced I was approaching the Benfica Market. The exercise and the exercise of my tears having lightened my spirits, I stopped to check the price of the sunflowers. Too expensive. If I’d bought them, my wallet would have been left empty.

Image: Camara Municipal de Lisboa

Instead I headed directly across the massive circle of reinforced concrete, one of the last local buildings of the Estado Novo.  A slight veer to the right and I left the cacophony of fishmongers, fruit and vegetable sellers, and butchers behind. Outside I found another, more affordable florist. Instead of 5€ for one blossom I got a bunch for 2.50€.  Five magnificent bursts of yellow filled my heart and my arms for the climb back home.

In case the picture doesn’t do justice to the flowers, let me tell you I was stopped twice on my way back uphill, by perfect strangers, to admire the exuberance of the blooms. I laughed at myself and wondered if those ladies assumed I was perfectly happy, as I had done that morning about my Facebook friends of long ago and far away.

I got home, put my flowers in water and mused:  If I had remembered to give some given one of those blossoms away, I might’ve made a new friend. I might have forged some powerful alternative consequences.

On the other hand, here’s what I could have done, if I hadn’t chosen to idle around so close to home:

Image: António Silva Porto

[durararas]

THIS POST WILL BE UPDATED

If some of you have seen a previous post where I mentioned some screenplay ideas that I had and I thank those that responded really positively! So if you don’t know, I want to go into my masters into screenwriting. In comparison with the music training I have, I have almost no official screenwriting training (besides a couple of classes). I know one of the best ways to get better at writing in general is to ask people to read your script. However, since I know everyone is busy (and I’m really bad at asking people because I’m an anxious piece of shit)  I know not everyone is up for this. However, it would help a lot if a couple of people would read it over and tell me if you would watch this on your TV or in the theaters. You don’t have to edit my writing skills (which is much appreciated though!) you just need to tell me if you would watch it or not. And if you would not, what would you do to make it better?

I know I could ask friends, which I will, but one of the best advice I’ve ever heard is ask the general public, people you don’t know very well, and see what they think. So that’s where you come in. I know everyone has different taste in movies and TV so I don’t expect everyone to read everything I have to offer. 

Anyway, if you are interested, either comment here or message me and when the script is done I can send you the draft and you can read it over. So here are the scripts I am working on/would like to finish eventually. (and please signal boost this if you can. you may not be interested but someone out there might!) 

Title: Flowerboy/Format: Short film/Genre: Fantasy, psychological, drama, tragedy/Synopsis: A boy witnesses a tragic death of his brother and will do anything to prevent that from happening, even time traveling. As he spends his whole life traveling back in time to save his brother, flowers start to grow on his body…./Extra notes: One of the main characters is transgender, I envisioned this as a prologue to another main story idea I had where it would be in the POV of the brother that died, I listened to BTS’s Spring Day and I Need U while coming up with this story

Title: King Ferdinand/Format: Feature film/Genre: Coming of age, high school, psychological, horror, thriller/Synopsis: Shy and bookish Ferdinand is a new kid at a high school after being in the hospital for almost a year. He looks forward to his new life at his new high school, but everyone seems to treat him as if he doesn’t exist, even the teachers and staff. He tries to find answers when he learns of the school’s horrible tragedy a year ago…/Extra notes: I wrote this script in high school and will be in the process of being edited and rewritten, the story is set in the 90s

Title: Zoey/Format: Feature film/Genre: Coming of age, drama, music/Synopsis: Two music college freshmen named Zoey end up being roommates. Their names may be the same but they are drastically different. One is an aspiring jazz drummer who wants to prove to her family that she can do more than just tabla drumming (Classical Indian drumming) and the other is a young violin virtuoso who has to deal with the pressure of fame and her relationship with her girlfriend. The movie deals with the two girls’ different but similar lives as well as supporting each other. 

Title: For the Dogs (working title)/Format: TV pilot/Genre: Action, adventure, dystopian/Synopsis: In the future, the world is unsafe to live in due to the acid rain and the “zombie” dogs that roam the earth leaving the entire world into an apocalyptic waste land and civilizations begin to thrive underground. The government uses this world’s advantage to throw their prisoners to the surface to see if they can survive for 30 days for redemption. The main story follows a sweet farm boy named Sky who is wrongly accused for a murder. His world is turned around when he has to face this horrible survival game… Extra notes: honest to god was inspired by togainu no chi 

Title: What’s Riot?! (working title)/Format: TV pilot/Genre: Action, adventure, psychological, comedy-drama, crime, mystery, thriller/Synopsis: A young man wakes up with no memory in an abandoned drug store. The only clue he has is a phone (that may or may not be his) with a social media app that lets people talk about the latest news and chat with each other. He uses the chatroom and its inhabitants to help him figure out his identity. He also learns about the weird users behind the app, an infamous gang that wants to erase themselves from existence, a drug that lets people become a different person (literally??), and a murder where no one can find the body anymore. Extra notes: this story is like my baby I had this idea since i was 13, yes it is very durarara inspired, it was going to be set in Japan but then I realized that it would be impossible right now for the current American film company to make this happen so I changed the setting to a fictional LA town and the characters are now all lots of POC

Title: A City with No People/Format: TV pilot (animated)/Genre: Action, science fiction, comedy-drama/Synopsis: Six kids wake up in a video game inspired city where they realize there is no people except for themselves. They try to solve the city’s puzzles (like a video game) to figure out where they come from and how to get out of it. Most of the time, they just like collecting coins and getting a bunch of shiny stuff/Extra notes: this could be a video game too and I’d love to write for video games

Title: Untitled boyband movie/Format: Feature film (animated)/Genre: Music, drama, found footage, mockumentary/Synopsis: Five regular teenage boys are discovered through YouTube and are made into the most popular boyband in the world. The movie will follow the boys’ journey through their social media like Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube vlogs and interviews made by corporate companies. Some of their more personal footage show their raw emotions behind the whole stress and process of being a famous pop star. All of this fame and pleasing the fans... are they who they are anymore? /Extra notes: There’s so many stories behind how these famous pop stars were keeping their “goody” image and then destroyed themselves as fame goes on (Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, etc) and I really enjoy watching all these vlogs these kpop stars do and wonder if they really are sincere and happy with their lives even though there’s always news discourse saying the fans won’t leave them alone. Also the documentary on Nu’est made me cry

Title: Shattered Looking Glass (working title)/Format: TV pilot or film /Genre: Dark fantasy, horror, fairy-tale, action/Synopsis: The legend goes that dark demons were jealous of the Fairy Royal family ruling over a prosperous kingdom.These same demons had tried to create a mirror for their beloved Fairy King to look into the mirror to see their true self; little did the king know that the mirror posses a “poison” that whoever looks in it sees their worst and becomes their worst selves. The plan was going well until the demons dropped the large mirror and shattered into tiny pieces. These pieces have blown over the kingdom over time and lodge into even the innocent’s heart or eyes, thus only making them see evil. Feared that the Fairy Royal family would find out, the demons took the next heir and kept her in a glass coffin for 100 years. The story follows a gifted mercanary named Wendy who is finally approached by her superior to save the kingdom and find the next Fairy Queen Alice.  /Extra notes: Had this idea for a long time too, I think writing dark fantasy stuff is pretty cool. Btw the mirror idea is something that Frozen could have done!! But nope, too dark for kids.

[itsjayyyy]

September 20, 2018 4:38 pm

wow I’m burning through my time limit of 2 hours of social media pretty fast. I’m not gonna have anything to do tonight lmfao. 

This morning when I got on campus, I noticed the trike wasn’t parked in the usual spot, but I figured that was due to the fact that a green kawasaki was already parked in it, but when I parked I looked to the other motorcycle bay, and it was empty. So now I know: the trike isn’t on campus before 8:30. Waking up at 6 isn’t so bad, as I said. Plus, this morning I had so much time to study, which is good because last night I totally didn’t finish economics. I made my tiny notecard, and surprisingly didn’t even come close to filling it with text because this unit actually had very little content that was complex enough to need notes. Government got out about 15 minutes early. Our prompt for today was “what do you think the next (28th) amendment to the constitution should be?” Some girl said “popular vote on if we go to war, and everyone that says yes must enlist” like yea I saw that tumblr post too. Everyone in the class thought she was so unique and thought provoking (btw I think that idea is trash (for its own value, not just because it came from tumblr)). I said repeal the electoral college and make the president just a popular vote, since it has the highest turnout and the most demographically represented, it represents the country better. While in class though, I thought of an alternative: decriminalization of all drugs, like portugual did. that way drug users will be more inclined to get help, since they won’t be scared of prison. The only people who would still get prosecuted would be drug dealers.

After that, I took my economics exam in the testing room. I had to put my stuff in a locker, but the lockers were 50 cents to use. And it’s not like the lockers in korea where you put in a 100 won coin and when you leave you get your coin back, you legit just pay here. I didn’t even have coins on me, but it looked like a lot of students were just putting their stuff in lockers, not locking it, and it was an honor code kind of thing where we all agreed that we were broke college students and it’s not nice to steal. So I chose the locker in the very back corner, dumped everything in, and took my test. I was sad bc after, they took my tiny notecard :c I really wanted to keep it to study. I was done with the test in 20 minutes, when the time limit was 80. I think I did pretty well. Then I headed to the library, took my sociology test online here, got a 100 (it told me my score immediately after). and i’ve been sitting here since. I wrote down all of my homework in order of when it’s due, and my work schedule (ugh!!!! so many hhn shifts at usf!!!! UGH!!!!!!!), and decided that for the rest of today, plus all of tomorrow, plus (seemingly) all of saturday (remember how I said the usf manager kept trying to push me to take shifts and was emphasizing “friday and saturday youre free!!!” and i kept saying “four exams!!!” and they were like “oh at least take saturday for now and call me to let me know if you’re free friday too!” and i was like “totally!!” but never called bc FUCK THAT well anyways she never put in the saturday shift and I figure what she’s doing is waiting for me to call and be like “wheres the saturday shift” and then she gonna hit me with that “what about friday” and i’m not fucking with that I guess I’ll just not work saturday either lmao) I’m going to try to do all of my homework for the next week since next week I’m gonna be so bogged down with work. 

So the first homework was two things for comp. One was where we briefly summarize who we’re going to interview for the writer profile, and then list our interview questions. That seemed a little thought intensive, especially since I just finished two exams. So I checked the second one, which was a discussion board (we have one every week), and the topic this week was “tell us about your writer’s discourses, and give a sample of their writing and analyze it through a rhetorical lens.” there’s really no way around this topic huh. I dunno, I just feel like it’d be a little weird to be like “hey spencer! I haven’t spoken to you, like, ever (not counting the times I’d say hi when you hung out with my sister over a decade ago), but can I interview you for my english class?”

For now, I figured I’d work on my interview questions. I left my stuff at my seat, went back to the bottom floor to buy a cup of tea, and now I’m back, listening to his albums. I bought his first one, which was posted last year in may, which was pre-t and his voice was still high and feminine. But now I’m listening to his second album of short (about 1 minute each) songs, and I have a lump in my throat. This album came out about 2 months after he started t, and you can tell in some of his songs. Like, his voice takes a nosedive. Not like super deep r&b singer deep, but it’s definitely “late teenage boy” deep. And it’s just not fair. It’s not fair how he, despite not having his parents support, gets to transition and live his best life as a guy. And he can pass. But since I’m five feet tall I have to stay a girl. I don’t care what anyone on tumblr tries to say about “height is toxic masculinity” because I know the real world (and myself) wouldn’t take me seriously as a guy looking like this. It would make me feel even worse if I had to see myself as a 5 foot tall guy than to see myself as a girl. Frankly, I can live with being a girl, it’s just so much harder to bear when I have to see other trans guys having fun transitioning.

[janiedean]

In reponse to the other anon regarding Africans and black identity: the black Africans you know are coons or are putting up a front in the presence of white folks. Sorry not sorry, someone has to spread some truths.

anon, I just. I read this ask four hours ago. I’m staring at it now and I honestly cannot even imagine how to convey the disgust I’m feeling. like it’s making me sick just to look at it. idk. I honestly hope I never run into anyone like you irl. anyway.

you freaking fucking condescending asshole who has no idea what they’re talking about, I work with refugees. I’ve spent like one year talking regularly to people who risked their fucking life to get here in 75% of the cases (last year about 90%) including fucking underage kids, but obviously you don’t care about that, do you? three of the people I’m doing a theater lab with are living in a freaking refugee center, ALL OF THEM OUTSIDE ROME so in order to come to school they have to take one bus and one train every other morning. a lot of the people I worked with last year came from some small town one hour and a half out of the city and school started at 9 AM which meant they had to get up at like fucking six AM to get there. some of them were torture victims. some of them were abuse victims of every kind you can think of. most of them have to talk about that shit to lawyers in order to get a permit of stay or refugee status. but hey, that’s posing to you, is it?

some of these people can speak six fucking languages. *I*, as in the idiot who has to teach them stuff, can speak two currently, read one in a more or less average way and another one very badly. some of them have fucking degrees. and they come to some school where you teach basic italian for free. those people have a rich culture and they are fucking people who couldn’t give two fucks about my skin color or theirs differently from y’all apparently. what even should they have to pose for? what should they have to fake? living abroad? being separated from their families? having suffered more than you or I can even basically imagine? missing their homeland? jesus christ there was some guy a while ago, I was trying to teach people how to talk about the weather, I asked them about the weather in his country and he waxed poetical about how much he missed it and it’s amazing sun and the likes for five minutes, what the fuck do i tell him? you’re a poser because then you could just go back when obviously he needs to be here for other reasons? I just - posers. the fuck. they pose so they appear less privileged than they actually are? rich. THEY LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT’S NOT THEIRS WHEN IN MOST OF THE CASES THEY DIDN’T EVEN CHOOSE TO BE AND COULDN’T THANKS TO THE DUBLIN TREATY IN AN HISTORICAL MOMENT WHEN XENOPHOBIA AND RACISM ARE AT THEIR HIGHEST AND THEY’RE POSERS? christ, I’m - I can’t even.

I can tell you that whenever we have cultural exchanges and when we had the end of the year school party people were happy to talk about things, to dance with also HORRIBLE WHITE PEOPLE (if it makes me less problematic I didn’t, even if they asked me to, but hey, it was posing! and I didn’t just bc I’m self-conscious about dancing but whatever) and to sing songs from their countries but hey it was all posing to make us feel better? what they should be faking? 

also, razza di stronzo/a senza un cazzo di concetto di cosa è il classismo o UN CAZZO DI NIENTE, BLACK IDENTITY MAYBE EXISTS JUST IN THE FUCKING US OF A. BLACK IDENTITY IS A CONCEPT THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHEN TALKING ABOUT AFRICA BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, AFRICA IS MADE UP BY A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES WHICH ARE ALL WILDLY DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. SOMEONE FROM GHANA DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME CULTURE AS SOMEONE FROM SENEGAL AS SOMEONE FROM MAURITANIA AS SOMEONE FROM LIBYA AS SOMEONE FROM MOROCCO AS SOMEONE FROM NIGERIA AND NONE OF THOSE COUNTRIES HAVE THE SAME CONCEPT OF BLACK IDENTITY AS THE US NOR THEIR *BLACK CULTURE* IS THE SAME AS AMERICAN BLACK CULTURE* AND IF YOU ONLY HAD A CLUE THAT THE WORLD DOESN’T STOP OUTSIDE THE BORDERS OF THE US MAYBE YOU’D MANAGE TO GRASP THAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU’RE SO - SO - I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WORDS I SHOULD USE BUT THEY’RE NOTHING GOOD.

newsflash to you: most of those people, as stated, cannot give two single fucks about skin color. I have classes from all ethnicities and nations and I’ve never seen anyone white (I also have russians or chinese/asians or EEs btw) give a fuck about sitting with someone black or asian or whatever the hell else and I’m fairly sure that even if they’re a lot less fucking privileged than you, me, most people living in a first world country WITHOUT BEING A REFUGEE AND THE LIES AND WHATNOT, they’re nowhere near as full of hate or pettiness or ignorance as you. or of whoever voted for trump since whenever he’s mentioned in class everyone goes like ‘ah yeah the dictator?’. well, someone’s ahead of half of the people who thought he and hillary were the same thing. idek. sure as fuck they have a better grasp of english grammar than half of the people I read making Informed Discourse on tumblr, and it’s not even their mother tongue 99% of the time. of course, there’s also assholes, but assholes are everywhere. my country, yours, theirs, whatever. doesn’t make them fucking posers.  

‘someone has to spread some truths’ okay. sure. I’d still like to know which ones they are but honestly, don’t even tell me because you honestly disgust me and I don’t want your racist ass around here. get. out. and just because you deserve it: maporcamiserialadra io la gente come te non la posso reggere, non la potevo reggere quando li avevo in classe alle elementari, non la posso reggere ora, mi fa letteralmente schifo e saichetedico ma mannaggia a li mortacci tua, e non posso manco dare il beneficio del dubbio ai tuoi cazzo di parenti perché uno/a che spara una cazzata del genere qualcuno ad essere così meschino, poraccio e insopportabile deve averglielo insegnato. va a farti fottere e fammi il piacere di levarti dal cazzo tipo adesso perché la gente come te è il motivo per cui il razzismo esiste e me fa veni da vomità, porcaputtanaeva. mi fai veramente ribrezzo.