#changes in life

[remembertheplunge]

We are mellower, rustier. Our characters are fleshed out.

The following 9/19/1993 entry was written in the white spaces left on the journal page containing the 9/20/1990 entry.

I will include the content of the 9/20/1990 entry in the next e mail.

_____________________________________________________

September 19, 1993

3 years hath passed (since I wrote the 9/20/1990 entry).

We are mellower, rustier. Our characters are more fleshed out.

Since 9/20/1990, we have our first two women judges in Stanislaus County.

 I’ve come out as a gay man at work.

Aunt Ruth died as did Steve T.

I sold a house, incurred massive debt.

I met a guy at work, fell in love, professed it, was rejected and I accepted this, too.

I accepted more and more my OKness with being on my own.

I still have a tight relationship with Arturo.

I started lifting weights.

I sold and bought cars.

Witnessed Mom and Dad move through a law suit and cancer scares.

Watched my brother Dan’s back and to some extent his life degenerate.

Watched my sister Zoe sink seemingly endlessly in the slang heap of early public education teaching.

Watched her live with and then marry Randy E., apparently only half heatedly.

Watched Oakland burn and Santa Cruz resurrect.

Started counseling.

Modified and evolved journal writing.

Continued world exploration.

Began to see the immensity of my stresses: debt, gayness, health issues, Aids, and the law.

End of this part of the entry

Notes:

The first two women judges were Lynn Meredith, a commissioner and Laurie Begen, a judge.

Aunt Ruth was one of my mother’s older sisters. 

Steve T. was a high school friend who died of Aids.

Arturo was my Aids match, Arturo Fuentes

My parents were sued by a neighbor who, while taking care of their house while they were away, got drunk, tripod fell and got injured on their property. It ended in a jury trial in which the neighbor lost. 

Oakland had a major fire in October 1991. Santa Cruz was in part destroyed by an earthquake in October 1989.

I was concerned about Aids but never tested positive for HIV.

[drumlincountry]

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

[flogisto]

big fan of stories that, while undoubtedly being about the power of friendship, acknowledge that the power of incredible violence is just as important

the love was there. the love changed everything. the crowbar helped also

[vreemdkermithebatman]

has this been done yet

[beguilingcorpse]

i am glad queer representation has drastically improved in my lifetime. because now i can say that i dislike a gay book and not feel like i’m invalidating stonewall

[kipkiphoorayy]

alex hirsch truly is like. the guy ever. he created one of if not the most renowned and successful disney tva shows. he clowns on said network. he won his high school’s bird calling contest. he hates trump and is always advocating for people to vote. also prank calls republican/maga hotlines and was on the washington post for such. he voices half the cast of his own show and does a deranged mickey mouse voice he uses for like two separate shows. he owns a giant taxidermy buffalo. he and his sister were on an international improv team in high school. disney censored practically all queer themes in his show and now he has a nyt best seller (and created the website plus recent interviews ect ect) that imply there was something going on between that fuck ass triangle and ford. a straight man creating good old man yaoi. creates the craziest rabbit holes to send the fandom down probably primarily fueled by adhd and coffee. he probably has his flannel sewn to his body atp and has thousands of sticky hands on the wall in his house. i could go on but he’s just truly such a interesting guy

[trashcatgallade]

tbh i never really considered seals. until i finally saw one irl and was like omg. the creature

this is my artistic representation of what they looked like on the beach from where i was standing in the distance

it was the most magical day of my life

[steelbluehome]

I feel like I need to reiterate this, Americans, we do not EVER turn anyone in just for the reward money, because the reward money is a LIE!

There will be a reason they come up with for not giving it to you. Even Nancy, the snitch at McDonald's, who everyone in the world knows turned in Luigi Mangione, will not get a penny of the reward money. The reason she is getting is that she called 911 instead of the tip line.

But there are other reasons they give, like, the cops already had the info you gave them from "other sources". "Lots of other people" called in the same tip. The reward was "up to" the amount promised, so you're getting $1.50. You didn't do the proper paperwork before you gave the tip. And just about anything else you can think of.

They won't give any money out until the person is actually convicted, not just arrested. It could take years for a case to even get to court. If the suspect takes a plea deal, then did your info really lead to a "conviction"? Or by the time the suspect is convicted, suddenly the money is not there. Reward money? What reward money? It isn't like they have it sitting in a box waiting to hand it over to you after the conviction. No, after the conviction, now they need to try to find the amount they put up for the reward. And who's budget is that going to come out of? Who wants to put that money in your pocket instead of their own? Okay? Understand? Got it?

You never get the reward money!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[francisforever2014]

it actually really doesn’t matter at all and everything will be okay forever

[peppurthehotone]

Perhaps you feel this way today. Perhaps you need some comforting. Knowing that where you are today, won't be where you'll be ten years from now. Or, perhaps you feel as I do when I read it today. Like I am now the bee in the story.

[abisalli]

my life has changed

[ghosted-jazz]

Soldier, Poet, Kings

Bonus wallpaper version with just Joel:

[selfhealingmoments]

[wisedreamerreview]

Understanding Where Safety Lies

Oct.30-2013 “Lions, Tigers and Bears? Or a long walk on a dark dirt road…..   I was having so much fun that I completely lost track of the time. The fact that the security light had been on for a while never entered my young mind. I was fully enjoying the games we were playing and just not ready to go home. When the games finally came to an end and the neighbors I had been having so much fun…