#cockroach musings

[angryjewishcockroach]

I’m laughing so hard because like…what’s stopping anybody from buying a Pez dispenser…sticking the scroll where the candy’s supposed to go…supergluing some sort of a hook to it…and nailing that to your doorpost? 😂

(Available from Modern Tribe)

[yeonban]

I fear this is how it's going for anyone Tobias likes being around 💔

[gemkun]

anonymous said : didn’t you offer to squash aventurine? that doesn’t sound like it follows the hippocratic oath, doctor

      ⸻       ❝   it   appears   even   a   certain   level   of   intellect   is   required   to   comprehend   sarcasm.   ❞

[etcnnante]

feel my head splitting thinking about how my top three muses are either dead, most likely dead due to old age, or stuck in some weird limbo within a turtles body

[depressedquetzal]

shoutout to that one cockroach that repeatedly crossed the stage while we were dancing!

[asknoeloftheresistance]

"I hope you don't mind if I borrow these." Shino says lowly and ominously after having silently, and accidentally, sneaked up behind Sakura. It's just in his nature to be silent and unnoticeable, if Sakura jumps at that, it's not his problem.

By these, no explanations are needed, it's visible. Cockroaches are covering his hood and shoulders. "Because I don't think cockroaches belong in a hospital."

Despite being indeed immersed in her current medical files Sakura had this time managed to sense Shino's presence beforehand. Aside from it being a basic ninja skill,It had become an even more essential part of her training and thus she had gotten much better at it! No one wanted to be taken out while in the midst of performing emergency battlefield surgery after all! Which is why whenever she was working on anything medical ninjutsu related it had practically become second nature! Any other time off missions it might've not been the case But Right Now,...

"Please!" She practically begged him. In spite of Sakura's exact feelings as almost everyone else when it came to insects particularly of this variety, And her admittedly violent actions most of the time she did not enjoy killing things! Plus,It was a better solution than Shizune and the other nurses going around and spraying everything as usual,as the hospital was heavily sterilized as it is,as clearly evidenced by the constant smell. Not that it did very much good in this regard as it was a well known fact that cockroaches thrived in clean areas as much as dirty ones! If Sakura caught a single whiff of bug spray at this moment it would only just serve to make her task all the more exhausting!

[aparticularbandit]

hina dies because junko miscalculated.

that's what i'm learning from this chapter edit.

hina dies because junko miscalculated.

[braskide]

forget about other ship questions, the real one is: who takes the spider out / who is scared shitless and wants it dead

[dreaming-of-epiphanies]

𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓑𝓾𝓰

Description: Reader screams and Tom is instantly at her door to see what's wrong. Turns out it's a bug she needs him to kill. The problem? Tom discovers he is also afraid of this particular bug. (Reader x Tom, established relationship)

A/N: My roommates and I discovered a cockroach in our room yesterday so that inspired this. And no, we weren't able to catch it yet- it hid under our sink so now we're all afraid to go into the bathroom. Anyway, I kinda hate the title but I wanted to post this before going MIA for a couple days for finals (my first two exams are tomorrow; help). Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none.

--

The soft but insistent tap of rain against the window echoed through the room as Tom hunched over his desk, his quill moving at lightning speed. The dying candle sat near his parchment, creating a mosaic of flickering light across the paper. He was nearly finished with an essay he was writing about the Unforgivable Curses for Defence class, despite it being assigned earlier that day. He had gone to the library as soon as class let out, snagging a few books regarding the subject (it was easy to find them- he’d had the title memorised due to how many times he’d read them before) and locking himself in his dorm room to write the essay. 

Now, as his quill approached the end of the parchment with sure strokes, he leaned back in his chair, relaxed from the satisfying feeling of another essay well-written. He’d still have to spell check it, of course, and go back through it another day to add in any details he missed. Perhaps he could-

A scream interrupted his musings. It was high-pitched, full of sheer panic and unmistakably hers. Immediately, Tom was on his feet, his chair knocked back by the force in which he leapt up, though he didn’t even attempt to fix it as he yanked his door open, storming down the stairs and across the common room towards the girls’ dormitories. 

Anyone who saw him stalk with such a determined gait would not have clocked him as worried, but Tom’s mind was ablaze with terror. She had screamed. She never screamed- not like that- not unless something was wrong. Something is wrong, he thought to himself, dread seeping in, something is wrong and I’m not there. That thought made him pick up his pace, speed-walking to the stairs and practically hurrying up them. 

He arrived at her door and didn’t bother with the pretence of knocking before barging in, his eyes instantly zeroing in to find her. She was perched on her desk chair, clutching the wall beside her as she looked at the floor in fear. He felt his shoulder relax slightly- she was okay. Although she looked odd, she appeared unharmed. But the fear in her eyes made him tense up again. He would not let her be afraid, not if he had anything to say about it. Nothing would hurt her while he was with her. 

“What are you doing?” He asked sharply, voicing cutting through the air and her eyes whipped up to his. She gasped in relief, frantically gesturing for him to come over.

“Oh, thank Merlin you’re here!” She exclaimed as he stepped inside, letting the door close behind him. “I saw a trollcleg!”

Tom’s eyes narrowed slightly as he approached her. “You screamed because you saw a trollcleg?” Trollclegs were relatively harmless insects. Despite looking a bit creepy with their many legs and annoying buzzing when they flew, they were similar to cockroaches and nothing to be afraid of.

“It was huge!” She shook her head, eyes wide. “Practically the size of a Vampyr Mosp!”

“Why didn’t you kill it?”

She looked up at him sheepishly. “I’m afraid of them.” 

Tom sighed, though it was more fond than exasperated. “Come on,” he said, taking hold of her arm and placing a hand on her waist. “Let me help you down before you fall and I have to deal with you declaring a terrifying insect made you lose your balance.”

“Not until you get it!” She protested, gently pushing his arms away from her. Tom raised his eyebrows in mock irritation. 

“You want me to kill the trollcleg for you?” He asked, and she nodded enthusiastically. He let out another sigh, stepping away from her. “Fine.”

“Thank you!” She exclaimed, straightening up and nearly toppling over in her unsteady chair. Tom grabbed her arms again, steadying her so she didn’t fall. 

“I’ll do this if only to get you down from there faster.” He warned her, only releasing her arms when he was sure she had regained her balance. 

It didn’t take him long to locate the trollcleg. It was hovering near a pile of chocolate frog candy wrappers, buzzing happily around. But his eyes widened when he saw it. She was right, it really was massive. Despite himself, Tom felt a shiver run down his spine. He did not want to get any closer to that thing. 

“Did you find it?” She asked suddenly, and Tom nearly groaned in a mix of frustration and relief as the trollcleg heard her voice and buzzed away. At least he could put off getting nearer to it for a little while.

“We need to be quiet,” he chided her, and she put her hands up in a ‘surrender’ motion. 

Tom crept around the room, waiting for the trollcleg to reappear. It finally did, crawling on the floor next to her trunk. Tom slunk towards it, carefully lifting his foot to crush it with one swift stroke. But right as he was about to step on it, it lifted back up, buzzing directly towards his face. Tom recoiled, stumbling backwards with a very undignified shriek. 

“Get it; get it!” He heard her yelp, clapping her hands. 

“Don’t move on that chair, you’re going to fall!” He yelled, still slapping at the bug, which was fruitlessly trying to attack his face- it had no stinger so it really wasn’t threatening at all, just annoying.

“Damn you-” he managed to get out before knocking it to the floor again and quickly stomping on it. Only when he pulled his foot away and ensured that it was indeed dead did he hear her let out a disbelieving laugh. 

“Did you scream?” She asked, trying (and failing) to hide a smile as she got down from the chair and made her way over to him.

“No,” Tom said instantly, and her smile only grew, now looking more like a smirk. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you shriek like that before,” she teased, reaching up and fixing his hair for him, running her fingers through the soft waves. It had been mussed up as he tried to swat the bug away from his face. 

“I intended to keep it that way,” he told her. “And just to be clear, I killed the bug because I wanted you down from that chair as quickly as possible,” he added, looking down at her sternly. “Not because I also dislike trollclegs.”

She smiled slyly, nodding her head wisely. “Oh, of course. I won’t tell anyone it was you who made that last scream.” Tom glared at her for a moment before shaking his head. He couldn’t feign anger at her for too long. 

“Alright,” he murmured, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. 

“Besides, if anyone asks, I can just say you did it because you love me.” She quipped, and Tom rolled his eyes but stepped in closer. 

“Yes,” he said. “That too.” 

--

[snowfieldstories]

your husband's husband. (iii)

kim dokja x childhood friend!reader

warnings: brief strong language, damn horny adults -- humor

w.c: 1.1k

a.n: did i write this instead of working on my current drafts? yes. do i feel bad for ignoring said drafts? also, yes. do i feel awful for delaying your requests and my own fic agenda? absolutely, certifiably, yes. lmao. enjoy this mini as crumbs of apology

summary: you finally meet yoo joonghyuk. it goes...well enough?

<- a new kind of subject pt. ii ⏱ untitled pt. iv ->

twenty-eight

"We should probably start searching for an officiant so we can finally get married," you mused. It had already been years of engagement, after all.

You and Dokja were walking hand in hand down the street, enjoying a rare moment of peace and solitude, until a certain constellation message stopped you dead in your tracks.

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' confusedly asks if polygamy is legal in Korea.]

"...What?"

Dokja began scrambling at the formidable expression on your face. "No—What the hell? No!"

Your nose scrunched up. "Do you have another wife I don't know about?"

"No, I have no idea what she—!"

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' says that 'Kim Dokja' has a husband.]

The birds above were flabbergasted, the cockroaches below were astounded, and you were speechless. The air molecules even paused in stunned confusion.

"I. Do. NOT. Have a husband!" Dokja yelled frantically. "And I like women!" He pointed at you. "One woman! This woman!"

You crossed your arms. "You're protesting an awful lot."

"N—no, listen," said Dokja, and he whimpered your name in fright. "I really have no clue what she's talking about."

You opened your mouth to say something, perhaps to give him mercy, because you were only messing with him—

"Kim Dokja. Shut up."

A tall, striking man in black was striding towards you both, holding a sword in his hand. There was a furious expression on his face, and your lip curled in disgust as you noticed that fury was directed at your darling fiancé. "Your irritating voice can be heard down the street."

"And who the hell are you?" you said angrily. "I should kill you."

The man glared at you, and his knuckles clenched on the handle of his sword.

"Don't speak to him that way," you added for good measure.

The man's eyes narrowed dangerously, and Dokja rushed to shield you in his arms the moment the sword lifted.

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' declares that this is 'Kim Dokja's' husband!]

All of you froze.

"What."

It was the sword-man. He looked shocked, disbelieving that this message might be referring to himself.

"Ah," you poked your head around Dokja's stupefied form, "so now I really have to kill you."

But the man ignored you, and he trembled with rage as he shouted up at the sky, "I HAVE NO INTEREST IN MEN!"

The sky merely shrugged back at him.

"Dokja," you looked at him. "Who is this jerk-faced asshole?"

Dokja gulped at you with a conflicted expression.

"...Yoo Joonghyuk," he mumbled. Then he addressed the man loudly, "Yoo Joonghyuk, have you been telling people we're married? Lying is a sin, you know."

Yoo...Joonghyuk?!

Your mouth popped open with a gasp.

"Kim Dokja."

Yoo Joonghyuk's voice was low and threatening as he raised his sword, as if ready to run you both through at once. You tensed, prepared to defend your beloved with all your might both physically and verbally, when the regressor turned his attention back to you.

"Who is this?" Yoo Joonghyuk looked…uncomfortable. It seemed he was hellbent on avoiding the topic of being called your fiancé's husband.

You smirked.

"The other woman," you sang. "I came first, actually, but I don't mind sharing with my fiancé's husband! Especially since we didn't know about each other until now."

You batted your eyelashes at him, and his glower was heated enough to burn you to a crisp.

Then he gave a frustrated grunt and looked at Dokja. "She's just as annoying as you."

"Hey!" Dokja spat at Yoo Joonghyuk, before he turned to you, shaking your shoulders insistently. "Don't call yourself that. I'm marrying you, not him."

"It's okay to be with a man, Dokja," you said solemnly. "This is a progressive world; husbands can have husbands."

"Stop saying—every time you say that word I want to vomit."

"What, 'husband'?"

Dokja grimaced.

"What if I say you're my husband?" You leaned in, lips teasing the side of his jaw. He inhaled sharply and gripped your waist.

"That..." Dokja sighed when your lips brushed his skin. "That's...acceptable."

"Oh? Just 'acceptable'?"

You tried to pull away but Dokja drew you back tight against him. His breath was hot on your face. "It's preferred. Actually, how about you only call me that from now on?"

"Mmm," you hummed with a smile, moving closer.

A retching noise caused you both to look over.

Yoo Joonghyuk seemed on the verge of vomiting himself. He leveled you both with a ferocious glare. "Fucking disgusting."

You rolled your eyes. "You say that like you weren't married once, virgin."

"I am not a—!" His incensed tone choked, and he demanded, "How did you know I was married before?"

You pursed your lips, unsure of what information Dokja had let slip about the world and the novel already.

Yoo Joonghyuk looked between you and Dokja rapidly. "Are you also a prophet?"

You ignored Dokja's warning squeeze. "Yep!"

The horrified look in Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes intensified at your confirmation.

Then all the emotion drained from his face, and he turned away and faintly said, "There's two."

...Somehow, you were pretty sure he wasn't talking about prophets.

A tentative trio was formed as the three of you sat, waiting for your other companions to arrive at the meeting location. You leaned back against Dokja's chest as he held you.

Yoo Joonghyuk was pointedly looking away. There was a deep frown on his face, so you called out to him.

"You should smile more," you said after he met your gaze. "That angry expression makes you uglier."

Yoo Joonghyuk's expression only contorted further. Ah, but he is somewhat of a prideful and shallow guy, you noted as he worked his jaw and blinked quickly, a seeming attempt to smooth out the wrinkles.

Dokja groaned and tucked his face behind your neck. "He's going to murder you eventually," he despaired.

"That's why I'm going to kill his spirit first."

Dokja's arms squeezed against your stomach. You felt his lips press into your skin. "I have no doubt that you can."

"…Are you insulting me?"

It took a great many kisses (Yoo Joonghyuk's crotchety presence be damned) and groveling apologies until you "forgave" Kim Dokja. Of course, you had already forgiven him to begin with—

But you so dearly loved his kisses.

[yanderenightmare]

what possessed you to write that nasty gamer boyfriend fic, not being judgemental, just genuinely curious cuz I love that fic and it seemed so vivid with all the detailing, did anything inspire you?

♡ GAMER BOYFRIEND

Yeah! A couple things actually!

I'd been staying with my brother and his girlfriend for a while. And while my brother is nowhere near the guy in the fic, he is a gamer who games a lot while his girlfriend does the grocery shopping and makes all the food every single day. So, I guess the idea first started with me just thinking about what a hopeless wreck my brother would be if she decided to suddenly leave him.

But my brother isn't useless or incompetent or anything like that. Nor is he a slob. He's just very comfortable with letting his girlfriend make decisions, I think. So this isn't a diss to my brother! Though, maybe a little...

Anyway. While I was staying there, my brother was watching a lot of Asmongold. I don't know so much about him, but from what I gathered by staying at my brother's place, he's this streamer who plays video games and discusses different topics of interest. But, more importantly than that, what I really noticed is that the guy lives in a complete pigsty. Like, the stuff I was describing in the fic is literally how this guy lives, and he's completely at peace with it, too. Idk, it's the wildest thing. He was talking about how, a while back, he had this dead rat that he didn't bother tossing out and that when the sun rose in the morning and shone through the window, the dead rat would start cooking, and the smell of that would wake him up and let him know it was time for him to stream. He called it the dead rat alarm clock. Like, I'm not even making this up.

I'm not really dissing him, either, though. Like, to each their own. I just thought it was the wildest thing I'd heard in a while.

And we were watching other Asmongold-ish streamers who just have the wildest fucking lifestyles. Literally just living in trash with cockroaches roaming around. Idk. Stuff is wild. But it got me to realize that, yeah, some people really don't give a fuck about hygiene and tidiness whatsoever.

And then, funny enough, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her. And while we were dishing about how he wasn't good enough for her anyway and all that jazz, we were also digging up and talking trash about all her other previous boyfriends. And then she opened up about how one of them was a total fucking disaster. She'd been too ashamed to tell me this when they were together, but apparently, not only was he a hoarder, but she could tell he never ever cleaned his apartment because the bathroom had something she called "layers of sticky dust coating everything"

Like, it seems like such a common standard to have, but no, some people don't think cleaning is important at all. Or they just don't care enough to bother with it.

And, yeah, I suppose it just got me thinking about boys in general and how completely dirty their apartments are, with exceptions, obviously, and probably some girls included.

But yeah, the last guy I dated had constant shit stains in his toilet. And he had a pair of Lego flowers in there he was so proud of. And don't get me wrong, Lego flowers are cool, but they were always completely shrouded in dust, so you couldn't really enjoy them. And, you know, it's fine not to have everything spotless all the time. I'm not a neat freak myself, but I mean, if you're having visitors, the least thing you can do is make sure there isn't shit in the toilet. I don't know. That stuff is so wild to me.

But yeah, in the midst of all these musings and discussions, I got the idea to write that fic. I just really felt the need to make that character as he'd become so real to me all of a sudden.

[sparkflower-fields]

Starscream hated playing the long game. He was a mech who liked getting what he wanted, the second he wanted it. But nothing ever panned out so perfectly in his favor. This instance, was no different in his optics.

He turned his helm to the side, looking over his shoulder at Shockwave with annoyance as he threatened to leave and go into recharge. But his expression switched to faux playfulness as he turned back to the other and stepped into the scientist's view, insistingly pushing him back into his chair with an urging servo on Shockwave's pronounced chassis.

"I didn't know that was what you wanted. To have me sit here and be obedient for you, Shockwave." He had a smirk on his lips, knowing that was not how the other would have phrased it, but enjoying adding such implications to the line of thought. With an exaggerated sigh, plucking the cube from the third in command's servo, the seeker sat in Shockwave's lap, lounging across the other's thighs like it was his own personal throne. He hooked his knees over one arm rest, and rested his helm on the other, folding his wings down to better fit across the expanse of the other's lap and sipping the cube of energon that Shockwave had been nursing. Star crossed his legs and swayed a pede as he lounged in the 'mad doctor's' lap.

With a smug look on his face, Starscream hummed as the high grade pleasantly burned in his intake, savoring it even more that he greedily took it from the other.

"There, I'm sitting with you now. See? I can be a good mech." A closed mouth chuckle emanated from him, sounding a little too maniacal for someone who is practically throwing themselves at another.

Much to Starscream’s dismay, he witnessed nothing. He sat back in his seat with a petulant pout, sipping the high grade and looking to the side. The flier crossed his legs and impatiently swayed his pede, ruminating on the beginnings of another plot to achieve what he wanted.

“Poison would at least be entertaining.” He muttered under his breath, before sipping more. After a long moment of silence as Shockwave sequestered his attention towards the stars, Starscream stood from his seat and walked around the side of the other’s desk. The seeker loathed not being the center of attention. Especially when he was so obviously pining for it. He ghosted his sharpened servos over the surface of the desk, merely feeling its surface and not intending to gouge it.

He tossed back the rest of the cube, electing to chug the fuel instead of savoring it. The rush of the high grade through his fuel lines sent a pleasant buzz through his neural net, and elicited a familiar, welcome burn in his intake and tanks.

A drop of energon escaped his derma, dripping down the side of his face plate, over the edge of his jawline and racing down his neck cabling. Setting the now emptied cube aside, he wiped at the errant droplet.

“I’ve had stronger energon… but it tastes alright.” He smirked with a servo on his hip.

“If this is your idea of a good time, you are painfully boring.” He dismissively waved at Shockwave as he began to wander the other’s office, looking over the shelving, or any fixtures displayed.

[mad-hatter-memes]

FunkyFrogBait Starters

A collection of dialogue prompts from the videos by FunkyFrogBait. Feel free to edit quotes as necessary.

TW: Swearing, threats, and suggestive references

"My fellow Caucasians astound us with their ingenuity yet again..."

"This is just an evil, evil thing to do with pasta..."

"No spaghetti for you, sir."

"I could be doing any number of things with my life, but I've chosen to share this moment with you...Don't you feel so special?"

"This feels very forbidden..."

"I don't know what this is but it's not fettucine!"

"I just scalded myself! That was uncomfortable..."

"To be clear...I would not feed this to a dog..."

"This esophagus is rated E for everything!"

"Aren't I a lucky little boy? Only 40% of these are broken!"

"Is this a complaint that I'm hearing? Spitters are quitters, [Name]."

"It's just you and me, [Name]. So...who's gonna union with you?"

"If there is a god, he has abandoned us for celestial milk and cigarettes."

"That looks like something that would leak out of an infected wound!"

"This looks like porridge was spilled on the floor of a gym locker room and left to ferment for forty days and forty nights!"

"Trying to boil Pringles to make mashed potatoes is like trying to send her flowers after she's already taken the kids."

"Hahahaha, that's really cute, how about you go fuck yourself?!"

"Being a dad seems pretty fun; All you have to do is sometimes remember their names and forget to pick them up from soccer practice. "

"Now, now, don't be hysterical, dear. This is a nearly painless procedure...For me anyways!"

"I have not been allowed around a glue gun since...The incident..."

"The caveman method usually works in my experience."

"Aw babe, your texture makes me wanna barf."

"Now the nice thing about turkey bacon is that you can eat it raw! I think..."

"This says it serves twenty four people...They haven't met me."

"Hello, Mr. [Last Name]. I'm here to pick up your daughter."

"Please don't call the police...I know this a weird use of my free time but it's technically not illegal."

"I'm about to give myself an accidental haircut..."

"Can I just call up a priest and have him waterboard me...?"

"Whoookay...This makes me want to join a nunnery."

"Who up praying with they rosary right now?"

"STOP FINGERING EVERYTHING! I AM A CHILD OF GOD!"

"Girl, what foundation is that?! Not a pore in sight!"

"[Name], honey. You're already slaying, you don't need to slay innocent civilians."

"Where did they find this child? The Victorian Era?!"

"ASAB: Assigned Sidekick at Birth. How unfortunate..."

"Who is giving these children access to deadly weapons?! Hello?!"

"The kids like thirteen. Just throw a Roblox gift card as hard as you can and run in the opposite direction."

"[Character Name] is dead, [Muse Name]! And you're worried about the fidelity of this game to it's source material?!"

"Paint a picture for us, [Name]! Don't hold back!"

"I would've bully the fuck outta this kid. And I did musical theater!"

"Where are people getting all this Tannerite?! I want some!"

"Is the cockroach infestation required or optional?"

"I'm being manipulated by a gothic aesthetic and common sense!"

"Yikes! Don't show that to your grandma!"

"That's my heart after the hot girl in my Com Sci class tells me that our star signs are incompatible!"

"I really wouldn't talk how other people look if your eyebrows can't agree on what timezone they're in."

"Is god really rockin' with you? Sinner..."

"Let me eat my oreos in peace goddamnit!"

"I'M GONNA START POWERWASHING THE CEILING!"

"You know what crybaby fumblefingers? At this point you owe me money. Hand over twenty, pretty boy!

"Why is she beckoning me ominously...?"

"That's because you've been selected for ritual sacrifice, [Name]. You know how they are this time of the month..."

"Do you have family, [Name]? Anyone you'd be particularly devastated to lose in a violent and sudden way?"

"You know what, [Name]? I'd probably punch you over a Hot Wheels too!"

"I see god's law not as a restriction...but a challenge!"

"I am deeply dissatisfied with my life choices and I am NOT afraid to make that your problem at five o' clock in the morning!"

"I hope one of your family members is in a car accident this week!"

"It's fucking terrible and I'm overcome by a desire to kill James Corden for some reason!"

"I'm sorry...Do you think mother earth is just lactating blue raspberry surprise, bitch?!"

[zablife]

Focus

Johnny Davis x female reader

Johnny Davis Masterlist

Summary: When you joined Danny on his trip to Chicago to photograph the Vandals, you expected excitement and a bit of danger as part of the gig. You hadn't planned on falling in love with club president, Johnny Davis.

A/N: I combined requests from @saraliss who wanted a story about meeting Johnny and taking a ride with him and @greenparadiseperry who asked for reader with a secret crush on Johnny.

Warnings: age gap, language, brief mention of assault, angst

"How...how long I been what?" Corky asked over a sharp screeching noise.

"Sorry this shitty microphone. Let me adjust..." Danny mumbled. He tinkered with the settings on the tape recorder, oblivious to Corky's wandering gaze which quickly fell on you.

Perched in a chair opposite the two men, you steadied your camera on one knee as you waited for the right moment to capture a candid shot. One eye poised above the body of the camera, you returned Corky's curious stare, suddenly aware your subject was studying you.

He gave you a flirtatious grin and you took the opportunity to click the shutter, the sudden flash making him blink sharply. As he took a moment to rub his eyes, Zipco wandered toward the table with suspicion in his glaring eyes.

“What's she doin' here?" he ventured, jaw jutting out in obvious disapproval.

“Yeah, she gonna ask us a bunch of questions too?” Cockroach asked, though he seemed more receptive to the idea of a beautiful girl hanging around.

Danny shook his head as offered the Vandals the same reassurance he'd given Johnny when he asked permission to photograph the club. “She’s working on the book with me," he explained, packing up his gear for the day.

You followed his lead, reaching for your bag and nearly dropping it as he added, "Best damn photographer I know." The wave of self consciousness that hit you upon hearing his praise had you turning from the group instantly, a nervous pit in your stomach from the attention.

“Makin’ that pretty girl blush,” Johnny observed from his seat in a darkened corner, a smirk playing on his lips. 

Your eyes jumped to his, holding his gaze for a moment before Danny cleared his throat and resumed his proposal about following the club on their next run to Columbus.

However, Johnny was looking past him, thumb and forefinger passing over his bottom lip as his thoughts began to distract from Danny's words.

"You ride, darlin'?" Johnny asked suddenly.

"No," you admitted with a small shake of your head.

"Then how's she gonna come along?" he asked, turning back to Danny in confusion.

"I have a car," you explained.

"Won't see nothin' that way," Johnny mused with a small shake of his head. "No, I think somebody ought to teach you before we head out."

"You?" you blurted, cheeks feeling unusually warm as a nervous giggle passed your lips. It was a regrettable habit that had you covering your mouth the moment you'd spoken. However, Johnny seemed to find the suggestion irresistible.

"If you insist," he grinned proudly, kicking his chair out from under him.

"N-now?" you asked, eyes flicking back and forth between Johnny and the door.

"No better time to learn," he shrugged, tugging his jacket from the back of the chair.

And that's how you found yourself zipping along the highway, fingers laced tightly together over Johnny's abdomen, praying his thick leather jacket would absorb the impact of your heart hammering at his back.

That became the least of your worries as he dipped the bike around a sharp turn, causing you to gasp in his ear. The high pitched sound registered in his ear suggestively as your hands fisted into the soft cotton of his shirt and you felt the unmistakable clench of his stomach in response.

You had to admit that the heat radiating from his core only added to your lightheadedness, a surge of relief washing over you when he called over his shoulder, "We'll pull off here."

He'd taken the hint just in time, guiding the bike off the road and into a small park as you regained your breath. Though exhilarating, the ride had been more exhausting than you realized from the frightful way you'd been clenching your muscles along the drive.

You hadn't realized how tightly you'd been pressed into the bike, thighs slightly sore as you swung a leg down to the ground with Johnny's help. He gave you a wink and a knowing smile as he watched you gingerly pace toward an old oak.

"Wasn't that bad was it?" he asked jokingly, a hint of concern lingering at the edges in case he'd scared you worse than he thought.

"No, I-I liked it," you rushed to tell him, gaze lingering at his dusty gray irises. It shocked you how comfortable you felt around him so quickly, despite the reputation of the Vandals you'd built in your head. You certainly never expected them to be so friendly and welcoming. If you were the one conducting the interviews, you might ask him why, but you decided not to spoil the moment, content to merely observe your subject.

Taking up a seat next to you, Johnny pressed his back against the rough bark and dug into his pocket for his cigarettes. The sharp metallic click of his lighter was the only sound between you, save for the occasional passing car whooshing past, and you both took a moment to savor the breeze rustling the branches above.

Head tilted back, watching the speckled shadows crossing his vision, Johnny exhaled slow, even breaths. The lingering smoke swirled around him, closing him off to you momentarily and shrouding his whole personality in mystery once more.

"I'm going to get my camera," you finally announced, trotting off toward the bike.

"You take any of me, my ugly mug's gonna break it," he chuckled in playful warning, knowing full well you intended on capturing a few portraits. He couldn't say he minded being the sole focus of your attention though. It had been a long time since he'd had anyone look at him like that and mostly resigned himself to the fact that he was getting too old for such things. Hell, ever since Benny came around, he'd taken a permanent table at the back of the bar, knowing all the girls were there to dance and play pool with the blue eyed kid half his age.

Turning his head to watch you, Johnny squinted into the sun to drink you in properly. He hadn't been able to do that on the drive and now he was noticing just how young you were. He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, concentrating on the way your ass wiggled in your jeans, wondering how you'd feel under him. As he sat with a forgotten cigarette burning between his fingertips, he shook the notion from his head, feeling like a dirty old man.

Noting the sour look on his face when you returned, you asked, "You alright?"

He nodded slowly, dropping his head to stamp out the cigarette in the dirt. "Just thinkin."

As you adjusted the aperture on your camera, you couldn't help but wonder what suddenly had him so contemplative. "Penny for your thoughts," you offered with a nudge to his knee.

"Don't know if they're worth that much," he answered, the warmth returning to his deep voice. But Johnny knew exactly what he wanted to ask. It was a question that had lingered in his mind as he drove. If he was honest with himself it had been there since the day she arrived.

"You know, I was wonderin' why you're out here with Danny," he rushed out earnestly, voice a bit more demanding than he intended.

Your head shot up, curious if this were some sort of test. "Um...well...we know each other from school," you began, fidgeting with your camera strap as you explained what you were doing in his territory. "And when he said he was coming out here, I wanted to come too."

Johnny realized his chest was growing tight from the breath he'd been holding before he finally asked, "To be with him?"

"No, it's...it's not like that with me and Danny," you assured him with a giggle. The familiar nervousness crept back in as Johnny seemed to study you even more intently now. "I thought the book sounded interesting and I wanted my photographs to be part of it."

To your relief, his shoulders hunched in relaxation, a lazy grin on his face as he listened to you speak about your passion for documenting the lives of others. The wrinkles near his eyes lent a softness to his rough features which immediately put you at ease. "You don't think the guys mind me being around do you?"

"Nah," he swept your worry away with his large hand before adding a playful jest to hear your adorable laugh again. "'Cept maybe Zipco. Don't listen to him if he calls ya a goddamn pinko," he snickered.

You gasped at his suggestion in mock surprise, then chuckled heartily along with him. All real shock had been removed hearing he'd said the same to Danny so the idea no longer bothered you. "Suppose I've been called worse," you retorted.

Johnny's laugh boomed forth before he sighed contentedly and you took the opportunity to capture a candid shot, shutter clicking several times before setting it aside.

The crisp noise trapped him inside another unwelcome thought. You'd develop that film in your little dark room and scrutinize his every flaw under the harsh judgement of a red light. The wrinkles forming in the creases of his forehead and graying beard indicators of the hard years he'd lived. Would Danny be there at your shoulder pointing out the obvious age gap? Anyone giving you good advice would tell you to stay away from a man twice your age.

That brought him to another realization. "Your folks know you out here doin' this?" he asked, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

You cocked your head at him for a moment, thinking how much he sounded like the old women in your neighborhood back home when you stayed out too late playing in the street. The image made you bite your lip to keep from smirking as you answered, "I'm an adult, Mr. Davis. I don't have to tell them anything."

It was his turn to cock an eyebrow at you then, eyes twinkling. "Adults don't usually call other adults mister," he said wagging his finger at you. "How old are ya anyway?"

You had to laugh at his observation, the formality seeming overly cautious in retrospect. "I'm twenty, Johnny," you told him, voice steady and calm despite the churning you felt in your stomach when you attempted to look him dead in the eye.

He nodded in agreement. "I like the way you say that, darlin'." His smile was so full, teeth glimmering in the afternoon sunshine you couldn't help but reach for your camera once more to capture his expression. Though you couldn't deny the instinct was also born of your own awkward feelings to hide behind something, unsure how to take the nickname that rolled off his tongue like honey.

From then on you were his darlin', someone he protected fiercely on the road and at home. He was the first person to pluck you from a muddy track before a tire could graze your foot or warn you to keep a safe distance before a fight broke out. And though nothing amused you more than watching him turn from rebellious biker to cautious mother hen, you despaired at the notion that he didn't think you could handle yourself.

Of course the truth was much more complex to Johnny who voiced his unrequited feelings through these acts of service. He hoped you would eventually come to understand the hidden meaning, though so far it hadn't been clear.

"Let me go!" was a constant refrain in his ear as you struggled to get closer to the center of the action for your shot and he'd huff in stubborn reply, arm still firmly positioned at your waist.

But there was no one who supported you with greater enthusiasm. If people questioned why you were hanging around with a camera, Johnny had no problem telling them you were the best damn photographer in the country. It was an assertion which always made you blush because you didn't even have a degree yet. However, it was comforting to have someone who believed in you. It wasn't a luxury you were accustomed to, having paid your own way through school when your parents dismissed your dreams.

That's why his sudden absence came as a surprise the night you and Danny were interviewing new members at a house party on the outskirts of town. Despite the swarm of unfamiliar faces causing a commotion in the kitchen, which would usually put him on high alert, Johnny was nowhere to be found. As Kathy attempted to distract you from it all with a beer, Cockroach assured you he would find him, stumbling out the front door toward a fire that had been lit out front.

"Don't need Johnny to do my job," you muttered with a shake of your head. However, she'd already enlisted the help of the guys to keep you close by, no doubt on his orders.

"C'mon, just five minutes," Corky urged you, taking your hand and pulling you toward the lounge.

"Yeah, dance with us!" Wahoo called as he closed in on your left.

"Alright, that's enough," you finally told the guys after a few songs, palms pushing against their chests to find Danny. "Where did he go?"

"Think I saw him out back," Kathy mentioned as she snuggled close to Benny on the sofa. "Want me to go with ya?"

"No, it's okay," you rushed out, scurrying away before they could keep you from capturing the scene around you any longer. You were dying to get a few shots of the bonfire because the wildest things always happened there.

However, that would be the last coherent sentence you spoke. A large hand clamped around your mouth the moment you crossed to the back of the house.

You blinked up at the ceiling as you attempted to raise your head from the pillow, a wave of nausea returning as your head pounded inside your skull.

"Woah, now, darlin'," Johnny's steady voice cooed to you from somewhere nearby. The warm weight of his hand settled over your shoulder, pressing you back into the mattress and you tensed involuntarily. Withdrawing his hand, he inhaled a sharp breath at your reaction and the slight quiver nearly broke you in two as the memories of the night before flooded back to you.

"How you feelin'?" he managed after a long moment, eyes roving you with concern.

"I'm okay," you began, mouth nearly too dry to speak and a cut at your lip stinging with each syllable. "Thanks to Benny's fucking temper," you huffed out a laugh, ribs aching a little at the effort.

"Kid's gotta helluva right hook, don't he?" Johnny said proudly. However, the smile that graced his handsome face began fading as rapidly as it appeared, head hanging low as he admitted, "I got somethin' I wanna say and I don't want to you to misunderstand now."

You turned to watch him from where you lay, not quite comprehending where he was headed with this line of conversation.

Johnny still didn't meet your gaze, eyes wandering over the grease trapped beneath his fingernails as he rubbed his palms together slowly. It was almost too difficult to gather the courage to say what he needed to say now, but it had to be done.

"I talked to Danny last night. He agrees with me that you should go on home now..." He stopped to collect himself, tongue feeling thick in his mouth with the words that would send away the woman he was now deeply in love with.

You swallowed hard at his words, unable to believe his pronouncement. "Wh-what?"

"This whole things gotta stop...before you get hurt worse next time," he declared.

You shook your head against the pillow as you murmured, "One drunk guy..."

"No, I've been tellin' you this for a long time now," he persisted, biting down hard on his lower lip to keep it from quivering. He couldn't lose his nerve now.

Your hands fisted in the covers, anger seeping into your bones as you forced yourself to sit up despite the pain. "You don't get to tell me what to do, Johnny," you spat.

His eyes cut at you in a way you'd never seen, determination flashing like lighting. I do when it comes to your life. When I can't protect the only thing in the world that matters to me, he wanted to scream, but instead he found himself choosing words that would drive you away of your own accord, keep you safe in ways tender words never could. "You don't belong here and you know it," he growled.

The gruffness of his voice was foreign to you, a cold damper on the comfort his presence had provided up until now. You couldn't stop the tears as they welled in the corners of your eyes, hot and heavy as they began to spill over your lashes.

"Don't say things you don't mean," you warned him, voice cracking with a sob. "Are you serious?" The question hung in the air between you for what felt like an eternity as you held your breath, waiting for him to answer.

Without warning he stood, facing away from you so you couldn't see the hurt telegraphed straight from your features to his own. "Yes," he uttered the single syllable that would change your lives forever before walking out the door.

Read Part 2 here.

[gatoraid]

Feeling a perfectly normal amount of completely hinged emotions about the scene where Zhu visits Ouyang’s ger even though she has just barely recovered from having her hand cut off by him…..

"For a moment they just stood. The next, she was pinned against the tent wall with General Ouyang’s studded leather wristguard crushing her throat. She choked and kicked. Despite his small size, she might as well have tried to free herself from a statue’s grip. The scratchy tent fabric bowed outwards under their combined weight. He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Wasn’t losing one hand enough?” – “Take what you like,” she ground out. “It takes more than that to destroy me.” – He took the lip of her helmet and lifted her head up so they were eye to eye. Even in her pain she marveled at the dark sweep of his lashes, and the fine brushstroke of his brows. As if he had some idea of her thoughts, he mused, “Apparently being as ugly as a cockroach makes you as resilient as one, too. But there are certain things nobody comes back from. Shall we try them, one by one?”"

[semperamans]

currently thinkin' about how once you become part of the vandals you turn into everyone's girl :( like, yeah, you're dating benny but you're always sittin' on johnny's lap n'playin with his collar while he talks. then you've got cockroach who is constantly tryin' out different dad jokes on ya because you will giggle at everything :( cal is always layin' his head in your lap while you're sat at the picnic table durin' a run. he doesn't protest when you start threading his blonde locks through your fingers, braiding the greasy strands :( wahoo nuzzles his nose against the top of your goddamn head like a puppy each time he sees ya bc "always smell so nice." then there's corky who follows you around like a duckling n'zipco and sonny who appreciate that you listen to their stories. you're danny's muse; he's filled up countless rolls of film of just you and he's always takin' more. the wives n'girlfriends love you n'the guys can't live without you because my oh my you're just so special :'(