#convo: jason

[jennrypan]

Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..

Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.

Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!

Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.

Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO

Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!

Dick: LET IT GO!

Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!

Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!

Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.

Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!

Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.

Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.

Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.

Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!

Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!

Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?

Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.

[prlssprfctn]

Jason, dramatically exhausted: ...And that's exactly why Dick is my favourite

Damian, rolling his eyes: Well, whatever *leaves*

Tim, sitting next to Jason: Really? I had never heard before that Dick is your favourite—

Jason: Lmao, I am lying. You are

Tim: Aw-w, thanks— Wait. How do I know you are not lying to me now?

Jason: See? You keep asking real questions. Obviously, that's why you are my favourite

Jason and Tim: *high-fiving each other*

Damian, returning: So, I called Father...

Jason and Tim: *collective groan*

[ofswordsandpens]

percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?

jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots

[starspilli]

it’s a learning curve

[arrowheadedbitch]

Tim: Oh yeah? Name one friend you have that wasn't Dick's first.

Jason: Bizzarro!

Tim: I said friend, not fuck buddy.

Jason: Fuck you!!

Tim: I bet those were the last words your mother said to you.

[theaceofarrows]

Family interview

Jason: [gesturing to Vickie Vale talking to "Brucie Wayne] Ugh, does she have an off switch?

Damian: [subtly holds up knife]

Jason: No. I'm in civies so I'll have to deal with GCPD charges for that shit

Damian: [puts down knife]

Jason and Damian: [Both sigh longingly]

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

batfamily as conversations i’ve had with my male coworkers part i forgot

steph: i’ve had this headache for days now it’s pissing me off

damian: maybe you need a lobotomy

steph: ur so right

duke: you could just get the strongest man in the world

tim: yeah me

babs:

duke:

jason:

tim: anyways

roy: was that your dad?

jason: yeah..? why

kori: his beard is luscious

jason: omg

roy hiding his beard: i feel like i need to hide my face

kori: you?? what about me??

jason: he’s growing it out purposefully

roy: he looks majestic like a wise wizard

cass goes to answer the phone

bruce: don’t answer the phone

cass: why is it because i have bad customer service?

bruce: yes.

cass: aw fuck 😬

jason: *uses tape dispenser*

damian: why is it so loud

jason: it’s ancient

damian: very old

jason: it’s as old as alfred

damian: omg

babs: dick why do you have spiderweb on ur pants

dick: idk *removes web and places it on jason*

jason: ew no! wait this isn’t spider web it’s thread

babs: no it’s not look at his pants it’s got all web stuff on it

jason: i’m not looking at another mans ass

babs: it’s not his ass it’s his hip

jason: and what’s beside that?

steph: did one of you piss in the girls bathroom?

jason and duke: what??

tim: why?

steph: cus the toilet seat was up

tim: oh yeah my bad

steph: you had me gaslighting myself like did i leave the seat up??

tim: yeah it was you

[quotidian-oblivion]

It's funny how easy it is to push Dick away as a happy-go-lucky sunshine and rainbows and unicorns man when he's really the angriest member of the whole Batfam.

Like, it took Jason 15 years and a reasonable cause.

Dickie was ready to murder a bitch at 8.

This boy arrived at the manor with nothing but a simple suitcase, a toy elephant, sass, and 500 pounds of spiteful anger.

And the only thing that's changed now is the suitcase.

@sardonic-sprite

[eiraeths]

jason: some people need to be told to shut the fuck up more

tim: you can’t talk

jason: what? no. not me. i’m a gift from god and my words should be taken as gospel

tim: every time you speak it’s like a war drum except the omen is one of annoyance. [bad mimic of jason’s voice] oh look at me i’m the great red hood, everyone has to deal with me because i’ve decided to inflict myself on the public today

jason: i could be a cult leader, you got no idea what you’re talking about. people love to listen to me talk

tim: your cult would end in a mass suicide

jason: and?

[frownyalfred]

Red hood: *cutting off heads and shooting people*

Dragon!Bruce: Minemimeminemineminemine (finding nemo seagull style)

The idea of Bruce being opposed to Red Hood but his dragon being unironically proud of his son’s bloodthirstiness and confidence is SO funny to me. The poor man is walking around like “Jason….dont…” meanwhile the dragon inside of his head is like “YES!!!”

[ashoss]

hello! i love the way you draw the batfam!! i just want to give your jason a little smooch!! <3 could i request tim and jason hanging out and getting boba? either as civilians or as their vigilante identities, whichever is fine!

ahh thank you !! here they are :)

and consider him smooched :D

[prlssprfctn]

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Jazz Fenton, after years of fixing her brother’s injuries, becomes a Doctor with an inclination towards behavioral health and psychology- In order to make the difference she wants to see in the world she joins Dr. Leslie Thompkin’s practice. 

Jazz Fenton, M.D. has spent years of her life doing research, doing the hard work and the emotional labor, and finally, finally, she’s joining a practice she can feel 100% confident in. She’s goddamn good doctor and she wants to make the biggest impact that she can. 

Dr. Thompkins (who insists that she call her Leslie as they’re colleagues now), is a kind woman, sharp as a tack and keeps her practice open at odd hours to help the most unfortunate. It took some time for them to bond and trust to be built, but now Jazz is being allotted a few night shifts here and there. 

It’s incredible. Jazz gets to spend time with the kids who come in and really talk to them (in addition to getting them antibiotics, heating pads and pokemon themed bandaids) to help equip them with a few coping skills. Her passion for psychology never disappeared after all, but the expansive knowledge of how to heal the human body has made her find a sense of fulfillment like no other.

Having proven herself and worn Leslie down, Jazz now takes up about 1/3 of all the night shifts in the month. She’s hoping to get to 50/50 by the end of the year but she’s content with what she has. Danny keeps odd hours anyway so calling him after work on her walk home can happen any time of day and he will always answer enthusiastically. 

It’s a particularly busy night before he comes in. The Red Hood. 

He was known for being an ally to Leslie, despite being on contentious terms with the Bats, but Jazz had never asked directly. Never one to turn away a patient with bullet hole wounds, she hops into action to get his wounds cleaned, sewed up and gauze wrapped. She’s handing him a sheet (an Infographic! Dani made it with her! Graphic design is her passion!) on how to care for his wounds when he first seems to recognize that she’s not Leslie. 

“No, Of course not. I’m Dr. Fenton. I can’t blame you for not remembering but I did introduce myself as you bled in the entry way. You’re Red Hood, right?” 

“Hm. Didn’t realize the practice was expanding. Where can I find-” He grumbles before pushing her hand aside from where she had still been supporting his shoulder.

“Hold on there, mister. You’re going home, you’re following this infographic and you’re going to get some sleep.” 

“Lady you don’t know-” His voice modulated ton came across antagonistically. As if he was trying to intimidate her. Ha, Jazz rolls her eyes at the inclination.

“Who I’m talking to? Who I’m dealing with? You’re hilarious. I can eat you vigilante’s hero complexes for breakfast. Tell me who I’m calling to pick you up and then you can say thank you.” Jazz snaps at him. It really had been a long night but his whole dialogue thus far is making her a bit batty. 

“Oh really Doc? You know Leslie’s tough shit, and from what I can tell you’ve got nothing on her-” 

“Trying to make me feel insufficient when I just saved your life? That’s cute. I’m sure a lifetime of abandonment by both of your parental figures gave you that. I’m also sure that you inherited this desire to prove you’re not going to be dependent on anyone who wants to help from whoever got you dressing up in tights to fight crime in the first place. Again, I’d love to talk at length about how predictable you-” 

“Bwah- wait- I’m Predictable? You’re probably some nepobaby who had parents who told her she could have the world-” But Jazz cuts him off with hysterical laughter- he couldn’t be further from the truth. Her parents loved her, but nepotism? With what, the ghosts? If anything she got that from Danny, but he doesn’t need to know about her ghostly titles. 

“You’re just some guy who came back from the dead and made his trauma everyone else’s issue. So shut it. And tell me how I’m getting you home from this clinic.” She seethes though her voice stays devastatingly level with each word. 

Speechless for a moment, he eventually relents to Jazz that he’s already called for help on the comms but it will be hours before they can come for a pick up. The sun had already come up and the night had been over for most of them before Hood had walked into trouble. She groans and the realizes the time for herself and the empty clinic around them.

“Fine. My shift just ended anyway. I’ll get you home in one piece and I swear to all the ancients that you’d better follow the directions on the infographic.” 

And that’s how Jazz ended up calling her brother while supporting the weight of a grown ass man (who no longer wanted to talk to her) on her walk home. 

The next time Red Hood appears in her clinic, he’s brought a dozen roses in addition to the cut on his neck that definitely needs to be pressurized like ASAP. Did he stop for the flowers on his way to the clinic? He’s going to pass out from blood loss! She doesn’t even like roses!

[batfamgalore]

Jason: Oh my god, can I kill him!

Dick: No.

Jason: Can I at least slash his tires?

Dick: Okay.

[jasontoddsno1simp]

I am so thoroughly uninterested in exploring Jason ~killing the wrong person~ discourse. I have never seen discourse about non-lethal heroes or vigilantes apprehending - beating the shit out of - the wrong person, so why does it all of a sudden matter when lethal heroes and vigilantes are in the mix?!

If you aren’t also willing to explore the Bats being the shit out of and throwing the wrong person in jail, then fuck off. Drawing the line at killing someone when aggravated assault, breaking and entering, privacy violations so severe it would make a CIA agent blush, interrogating people under duress, making a mockery of due process*, et al is still on the table is silly.

The Bats are silly and so are you goobers for buying into their bullshit.

*I rly hope I don't need to explain to you all that ILLEGAL VIGILANTES (because, in case we forgot, vigilantism is ILLEGAL) operating as an unregulated arm of the criminal justice system violates due process (the shit Batman is always going on and on about). If I have to do that, I'm walking to the nearest lake, covering myself with animal blood, and waiting for Killer Croc to come eat me.