#correct***

[enbyfication]

me: tell me how badly you need to cum babe

my Stoicist bf: The pleasures of the flesh are fleeting. To waste time and energy trying to achieve a short-lived release is to demean oneself in spirit and mind.

me, who's really into edging: fuck god yes just like that keep going baby

[cunning-and-cool]

idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me

[raptorials]

Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

[helenvaughans]

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[boss-of-armadildos]

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

amateur detective who solves crimes out of curiosity and then just. doesn't bother to tell anyone the identity of the perpetrator

[seaglassdinosaur]

The doubling of tribute numbers. The miscarried Abernathy twins. The Donner sisters who Haymitch carries a fascination for as consequence. Louella being replaced by Lou Lou, a name that only mimics the first half of her name, and a girl who matches her in appearance only. Tam Amber’s set of pins, one dropped down a well, the other discarded. The two versions of the games: the one that Haymitch remembers and the edited, falsified version of them without the real content. The two bags of gumdrops. The fraternal affection he feels for Louella and Lou Lou, the artificial twins, and Maysilee’s offer to be his sister—the second one she gives in the book. A bond with a real twin, both pairs healing the sisters he never did know. The split between what is natural and what is manufactured or forged, bonds that that grow on their own, or are forced into existance. And if the distinction makes any difference to the person it impacts.

[irlpinkiepie]

psa for usamericans

if you live in any of the states below: the tax filing resource you should be looking for is IRS Direct File; you can file federal taxes directly on the IRS' website, they have a free support helpline if you're stuck, they'll also redirect you to a free preparer for state taxes, and it should work with most tax situations

if you live in any other state (or aren't eligible for Direct File) and your total income for the year was $84,000 or less, you're eligible for IRS Free File; this only covers federal taxes, and works through external providers, but will guarantee that you can use their tax preparation services for free

if you are eligible for Direct File, though, you should use it! obviously very few things about the current political situation are certain right now, but it is a genuinely good and revolutionary way to handle tax paperwork and it's a lot more likely to stick around and expand into more states if more people actually know how to access it and end up using it

[secondbeatsongs]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[grim-echoes]

you have burn in, old man. admit it

[catwouthats]

THEY MAKE ME INSANE

Proof below:

Also, I’m fucking crying, I think his arm is like that bc he fell asleep holding the photo.

EDIT: more proof:

[nyaa]

[salamispots]

it got turned into a 17" x14" pillow instead haha