#critters go to Walmart

[dark-cynder49]

Player Adoption AU

He takes the Critters to Walmart at 2am to avoid questions

[lizzy-luvbot]

when i saw on your blog that you write for emh i GASPED

n e ways can i request any HABIT x reader content ? idc what it is want HABIT

LMAO I LOVE HABIT SM IM ACTUALLY SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS

I’m gonna do relationship headcanons 😼 hope you like it😼

I feel like he’d definitely chase you around with a knife but like lovingly🥰 it’s just a fun little game… though it is sometimes hard to remember that it’s a game…

He’s also gives off the vibes of “wear what you want I can fight” yk?

He’s sassy to the point he’s almost just being mean?? But it’s ok yk he loves you and doesn’t mean it… most of the time…

I feel like he’s the type to run full speed at you and then when he’s like 2 feet away from you just abruptly stop.

Or like stomp his feet behind you likes he’s running after you but he’s really just running aggressively in place to scare the shit out of you

Holding your hand in public?? No he’s behind you holding the back of your neck pushing you in the direction he want to go in.

Carries like 5 pocket knives. I feel like he names the too but idk…

Does NOT feel embarrassment.

Has an attitude with EVERYONE AND ANYONE.

Has on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS picked you up by the knees(like bending down and wrapping his arms around them) and thrown you into the stacks of toilet paper at Walmart.

Banned from Walmart.

Y’all for sure make up VERY VERY wild pet names for each other, example: you call him: your little cotten candy critter muffin and he calls you: his big assed cuddle cake.

He’s not allowed to meet your parents.

When your sad he will definitely let you sit in his lap while he plays with your hair to make you feel better.

He can’t just hug you, he has to either squeeze the life out of your or squeeze the life out of you AND pick you up and twirl you around.

Y’all hold hands all the time(except when he’s behind you grabbing the back of your fucking neck.)

I feel like he would be a tip of the nose kisser, like imagine him just putting both of his hands on the side of your face and kissing your nose that’s so cute.

CUTE FANART IF HIM FOR READING THIS LMAO ITS NOT MINE ITS FROM antlergrave ON TWITTER😄 NOT EDITED I’m so lazy😀

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Round 1: The Quarterquarterquartersemifinals

@making-you-in-mc

“i run myis and it's fun having a bunch of creative friends in the Critter Making Collective. as a ghost of tournaments past, i send creatures upon ye.”

@walmart-the-official

(no propaganda submitted)

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel Incorrect Quotes Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Warning: Cursing

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out the Masterlist here. The reader will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel. Enjoy!

----------

*Archangel trying on a new outfit*

Crafty: Do you or do you not feel bonita?

Archangel:

Archangel: I feel bonita.

Crafty: Wonderful! Because you look bonita!

----------

Bobby: The reason why you hate physical contact even though you're extremely touch deprived is because it's been so long since you felt loving physical contact from another living being that your brain misperceives it as a threat.

Archangel:

Bobby:

Bobby: So Picky brought home this raspberry lemonade-

----------

*One of the many, MANY fights before the events of Fallen Angel*

Archangel: You'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Hoppy: Oh, you'd be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

----------

Archangel: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?

Hoppy: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

----------

Bobby: A party is a celebration of life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. (Y/n) has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Bubba: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don't want to be at?

Bobby: I knew you'd understand.

----------

Archangel: Still not over how yesterday when we landed, Hoppy said we arrived 50 minutes early because she took some "shortcuts."

Archangel: Excuse me, we were in space, what do you mean???

----------

Archangel: I desire moisture.

Picky: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

----------

Hoppy: (Y/n) is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.

Bubba: Okay, did you talk before they got upset?

Hoppy: ...yes?

Bubba: That's probably it.

----------

Some fan: I wanna be an archangel!

Archangel: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I'M DEAD INSIDE!

That same fan: Man, I want some of that in my life!

----------

Bubba: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll be crying all day.

----------

Archangel: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that people insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Picky: ... All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

----------

Archangel: What is love?

Dogday: An emotional minefield.

Bubba: A neurochemical reaciton.

Kickin: Baby don't hurt me.

----------

Bubba: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Hoppy: You left me, (Y/n), and Catnap in a Walmart parking lot at 2 AM a day ago.

Bubba: I did that on purpose, try again.

----------

Archangel: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

----------

Z: You're alive.

Archangel: No need to sound so disappointed.

----------

Dogday: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Archangel: I will politely decline.

----------

Archangel: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

----------

Picky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Archangel: I think you mean cards.

Crafty: She did not.

Picky, pulling out knives: I did not.

----------

Archangel: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Space Riders: Awwww.

Archangel: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Space Riders: Oh.

----------

Archangel: Who the fuck-

Dogday: Language!

Archangel: Whom the fuck-

Dogday: No.

++++++++++

Author's Note: Now that I made a lot of progress with my thesis paper, I'm going to focus on finishing Chapter 3. I don't have an exact date, but it is coming soon. Thank you for your understanding.

[rederiswrites]

Day so far:

Get up at 7, after roughly 4 hours of sleep (went to bed before midnight)

Spend fully half an hour failing to medicate my extremely paranoid cat

Drive said cat to vet, screaming all the way (the cat, that is. Mostly.), for $2k of dental work

Drive home, make coffee, catch up on social media, try again to explain to my libertarian friend on FB that it's not hyperbole when I say Trump is a fascist.

Talk to my friends on Discord, mostly about the ongoing destruction of my country

Print a dozen or so blog posts and articles about said ongoing destruction, until I get a stomach ache and have to take a break

Take out compost

Feed and water chickens

Collect eggs

Clean out litter boxes and fridge (and take out compost again)

Day still to go:

Kitchen totally unusable from dirty dish pile, absolutely must do dishes

Clean lampworking station and set it back up

Start trying to make glass "critters" for Saturday's blacksmithing event. It will likely take me several days to finalize designs I like, and it's already Tuesday.

Grocery store

Walmart (eugh) for drinks for Saturday's event

Driving practice for Phantom

Two hours Master Gardeners' class

Dinner, somehow

Current activity: get chewed on by criminal kitten

[theoriginalmarke]

WEDNESDAY WORD OF THE DAY

Shindig [shin-dig] noun: a large dance, party, or other celebration.

A hootenanny is generally less formal than a shindig. If you hire a nanny you probably won't be attending a hootenanny, and a hoedown is out of the question. A wingding is a distinct possibility though.

I haven't been to a shindig or a wingding in a couple of years, and it's been even longer for a hoedown or a hootenanny. My social life these days involves you guys, the critters, or talking to the neighbors over the fence.

Speaking of social life, we had to stop by Walmart the other day and there wasn't a single human operated cash register open. None, nada, zilch zero. I hate self-checkouts. They don't pay me to work there and I don't get a discount for ringing and bagging my own stuff. Even if I did work there I'd be on my break.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to write a thesis contrasting fete and fest.

I love you, baby. We'll have our own shindig later. RAWR!

Y'all have a gala day.

[angelicbite]

Bless the butches that go with every fuck ass idea their femme has 🤲🏻 wanted to go to Walmart late at night for snacks n saw calico critters n they were so patient as i kept changing my mind

[bluegekk0]

Do you have any recommendations for other Hollow Knight artists to follow? Some of the folks I knew of don't really do HK art anymore so I'd love to add some new ones!

hmmm let me see. there are a lot of artists i follow who to my knowledge still make hollow knight stuff (some more frequently than others), and if you want a more broad list, you could try browsing through my reblogs and looking at the timestamps of the original posts to see which ones were posted recently

but if i had to choose some off the top of my head... @duskydrawings is my mortal enemy (affectionate) and an amazing artist, she does some absolutely incredible art, as well as really funny doodles that brighten up my day every time. @hollowbananer and @hrng are my two other good friends who may not post very often, but still make have really cool and adorable stuff you may want to see. @ded-lime and their pk art is in big part responsible for my love for the character, and i could stare at the drawings all day, very inspiring stuff. @slimeel does some incredibly atmospheric art and i adore its style so much, top notch hollow related art if you're looking for that. @notthesaint makes really wonderful studio ghibli inspired drawings and a lot of nosk content, their passion for that weird critter is unmatched. @hornet-mylove draws some of the most aesthetically pleasing hornet (especially baby hornet) art i've seen, i really love their artstyle. some other artists that are worth checking out are @lizbot, @rizrice, @blindspothk, @fruitjellyforbugs and @poppy-purpura, they all have very unique styles that i enjoy a lot!

i really hope you all don't mind the tags. and any of you do that do, i'm sorry, feel free to gang up and beat my ass in the walmart dairy aisle hahaha

but jokes aside, go check out their stuff if you haven't yet, anon! there's some really amazing art you can find there, these wonderful artists deserve all the support in the world

[oftlunarialmoon]

How to Make DIY Doll Swimming Pool -2 Methods/Designs- One Holds Water!

Ciao lovelies! Today we're making swimming pools for mini dolls! I have two methods to show you today. One can actually hold water! The other is for toys that should not go in water, like Calico Critters.

WARNING- These DIY's use a Hot Glue Gun. Even low temp hot glue guns can get quite hot so please if you are younger, get adult supervision when making these crafts. 

What You'll Need for Both Methods:

You will need:

- Hot Glue Gun + Hot Glue

- Popsicle sticks in normal and jumbo size

-A disposable plastic container like a Num-Noms Dippers container

- Craft foam in various colors

- Small toys like Calico Critters and Monster High Minis to measure size

- Scissors (Not Pictured)

For this method you need Blue Craft Foam, and Popsicle sticks. 

Step One:

Start with a rectangle of Blue Craft foam. If you need to, cut it down to the size you would like. This size is the standard size in a multi-pack from Walmart.

Step Two:

Hot glue down a "frame" of Popsicle sticks around the perimeter of the blue foam. 

Step Three:

Keep stacking and gluing more Popsicle sticks around the border until it's tall enough to be a reasonable "pool" for your mini dolls.

This pool is best for mini dolls like Calico Critters, which shouldn't go in real water.

But if you do want real water in your pool for other mini dolls....

How to Make Mini Doll Pool Method 2- That can Hold Water

For this method you will need a disposable plastic container, craft foam, and Popsicle sticks.

Step One:

Cut out a ladder out of craft foam in your desired color.

Step Two:

Hot glue popsicle sticks to the sides of the ladder. 

Step Three:

Add your desired decorations to the pool. I added a "bat" bow made of craft foam. (PS- Want a Bat Bow tutorial? Leave a comment!)

And You're Done!

This pool can actually hold water! Perfect for your plastic mini dolls to cool off this summer!

What do you think of these DIY's? Will you be making either of these pool methods? Let me know in the comments!

[wizardpostingworld]

ALRIGHT I HAD A DREAM THAT WAS WEIRD AND CR RELATED, SO BUCKLE DOWN AND LETS GOOOOO (I forgot to post this for like two weeks guys it’s okay)

throwing it under the cut bc it might get long and I have like 4 drawings so WAHOO

Alright. So. The very start of the dream, I get an email that there’s another C3 Liveshow! (Not weird to understand how that got in my dreams, my c3 Liveshow poster is right next to my bed 💀) Im stoked asf, and it’s p close to me, so I ofc grab some tickets. Then, like two weeks before the show, it’s revealed that they’re choosing a single critter who bought tickets to be a guest star! Critroleblr starts freaking out and I’m like “lol no way imagine” and then I open my email and boom. This is an accurate representation of the email I get recruiting me to be a guest star.

So yeah I was like “let’s go I guess?” And I blinked and then I, Mr. Wizardpostingworld, ceased to exist, and I got FULLY replaced with the character I apparently created. I did a doodle of him because lowkey? Brain me cooked.

I (as Darcy) got transported into the world, and found out that if I, as a Vanguard agent, died in game, I would die in real life. This didn’t apply just to the cast - just me! As Darcy, I was a diehard ludinus stan. No clue why, all I remember is that I was one of his little minions who got sent to go try and cause problems for the Hells. We had some pvp combat in a strange, dusty dome with a grid floor that looking back totally looked like a battle map which is cool of my brain tbh

This did not go well. I lowkey got my ass beat and then Imogen dropped the bomb that secretly ludinus was planning to kill me himself and Darcy had a bit of a crashout to which the hells (specifically orym) were like “ok let’s just take this guy with us” and they did!

Darcy was very quickly renamed “Mr. D Man” by Chet, Orym, Laudna, and Dorian. He hated it. He was still trying to do the whole stoic evil villain thing despite speed running a domestication/redemption arc with the hells as they try to go get some weird cursed object.

eventually everyone was like “yo Darcy didn’t you say that’s a mask? Doesn’t look like one” and there was a hold up moment where Darcy actually straight up hit an enter character editor and turned into a human with a mask! Chat was not pleased and called him a Walmart Percy de Rolo and started a “we hate Darcy club” which I thought was comical. Peak cinema.

Darcy did get flirted with by Braius, attacked multiple times by Ash, and physically and metaphorically pushed around by Fearne. It was absolutely amazing and SUCH a strange dream! Hardly made an ounce of sense, but it was fun XD

I woke up confused out of my mind after that, but if you got this far, thanks for reading my yap <3 I fear Mr d man will appear in some of my cr fanworks. Beware.

[1razzle-dazzl3]

Sitcom critters incorrect quote (for context about the sitcom critters, go to my YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/@RazzleDazzle-fk1xq)

BubbaBubbaphant: I’m still kinda mad that Americans freak out about Canadians having bagged milk.

KickinChicken: Who the FUCK BAGS MILK?!

BubbaBubbaphant: Who the fuck brings guns to a local Walmart?

KickinChicken: … Fair enough.

[thelocalconstellation]

RAMBLE ABOUT D&D. DESPITE BEING THE PERSON WHO SPARKED THAT SHADOW ART WHENEVER I SEE IT I THINK OF MY FUCKED UP WARLOCK

okay so, guessing which of the 2 dnd related tags I've made in the last 2 hours, I'm going to assume this is related to Clown Of Madness? this gets long. I went on multiple tangents.

I'm gonna be real with you. Whenever I make a dnd character there's a 50/50 shot it's Actually A Character or it's a character I like that I've just poorly pasted into dnd. This was also the second ever time I've played dnd 5e. so I roll in with a walmart tim stoker (magnus archives) because I heard "evil circus?" and decided to be Funny. My fancy magic item was a camera that was haunted that would point out Incorrect things in reality. I think his name was Timothy Stonks.

I think we had like. Timothy Stonks. (half elf fighter-rogue), we had an automaton warlock named Auto, fucking feral little mouse barbarian critter, tabaxi rogue, and I don't remember what the last guy or two was. I liked this one a lot but I deadass do not remember much with clarity. I think Auto (played by my friend, who I shall refer to as Vinegar Packets, VP for short) was really neat and I loved that guy. One of the highlights I think, of that oneshot was Auto giving their patron the Fear status effect so we had an eldritch horror cowering in the back of the big top and a crack in reality forming on the floor. We also broke one of the DM's puzzles by smuggling the mouse in Auto's (affectionately dubbed) titty microwave along with one of the tabaxi's soulknife things. I think we did another thing or two which left two of us to cross a dubious bridge, that would support two players at any given moment. The circus oneshot was very fun though.

Right now, I'm loosely planning a campaign (personally dubbed In Stars And Dice for the fact that this started. started. as a very loose isat inspired oneshot. and then I got Funky with the worldbuilding. and everything spiralled wildly out of control.) which is gonna be Fun I think. I stole themes and tone of worldbuilding from isat but ngl. not much else. I'm also mangling the magic system of 5e because we. never paid much attention to material requirements. the only way to play the game wrong is if nobody is having fun.

The same DM for the circus oneshot, who I'm calling Veggitales, is currently running a kind of mini-campaign? It's estimated 9 sessions, I'm playing an Aasimar named Cordelia and By God the Guilt Complex in this one. Don't ask about why a paladin is in hell right now we're not worrying about glaring plot holes. I also think maybe somebody should have explained How Exactly paladins Become paladins usually to me because man I did NOT have a players handbook when I did this. I've been using wikidot this whole time.

We're also 2/3 completion in what started as a pirate Oneshot but has now turned into a threeshot, I swapped off a half assed character for session one to a character I actually love, she's a human mastermind rogue named Cynthia and the rage in this kid is like. her sole identifying trait. if she's not weirdly offstandish and ready to kill then she's been replaced. The pirate oneshot is also Great because that's the guy whose like. yeah. that's the usual DM. He's an enigma and he's great. He's keeping tabs on his boss's activity for weird shit so he can report him to the cops. He does boxing. he never checks the discord. I asked the guy's partner (also our friend, and the DM for the christmas crack oneshot) what he's even up to and I just hear "yeah he's been taking down a corrupt government in roblox for a little while" and I had to sit here like "He's Been Doing What Now" and I ask my older brother about this (because our usual DM started as my older brother's friend before he was rapidly introduced to my friend group, it's a bit of a story) and he was like "Yeah, you should ask him about it sometime it's kind of interesting!" and I'm like. What.

Anyways. Other stuff in the works is I've also been sitting on The Mystery Oneshot since fucking august because trying to get these hooligans Into My House for dnd is like herding cats, which is actually going to be very interesting once I can harass them into Giving Me Characters. I'm going to start showing up to houses with a nerf gun and holding people hostage. Veggitales is also working on a cyberpunk themed campaign, for which I have this half elf kid (he's 16) who is going to react like a startled animal if any of the party ever tries to show even a modicum of care for this guy. he's a warlock and the patron is Me, patron benefits include Whatever I can convince the DM to Let Me Do, I get to do. I can also provide information in the least helpful way possible, either by deciding the outcome of coin tosses/dice rolls in universe, or sending emoji strings. I cannot communicate using words I can only speak with emojis due to the chaos of How this guy became a warlock. Look. Magic is wifi and Orion dug too far into the internet trying to add fun emojis to his phone. he found god who went "👀👀👀 oh you're a silly little guy hold on come back I'm going to help you now :)" and won't stop texting him.

I'm also kind of working on a superhero campaign for if my online friends want to try doing dnd but that's more recent and I have no clear thoughts on What Exactly is happening yet. I'm goign to bully them into telling me what role they want first and then decide based on that how I'm going to drag them into cooperation

if you have any questions on anything mentioned above. please send another ask I will go into detail.

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, July 11th, 2024.

Were you upset when you found out certain things weren’t real? (santa, tooth fairy…) I don't even remember when/how I found out they weren't real, but no, I wasn't upset about it. It was just like, oh, okay.

Name something you’re proud of. Brag a little bit. The fact that I'm still alive and doing as well as I am. I don't really know how to brag about it because I'm nowhere near where I "should be" for someone my age. Like, on one hand, I'm incredibly proud of myself because I know what I went through and how much effort it took to get where I am now; but from the outside looking in, it's probably hard to understand or empathize with the full extent of it.

Where would you like to go right now? I don't want to go anywhere right this second, but I might be going to the Mountain Park next Wednesday.

Which store would you like to win $1000 for? I guess Walmart would be the most practical, since that's where we do our grocery shopping.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? Oatmeal with fruit, peanut butter, a bit of Carnation Instant Breakfast, and chocolate syrup.

Do you pay any attention to celebrity drama? Rarely.

Name a random fact. I just went to a random fact generator, and… "Prior to the year 1800, 43% of all people died before reaching the age of 5." Wow! That's depressing!

What’s been an embarrassing phase you went through? It wasn't a phase, but the worst parts of my mental illness. The shame and embarrassment (along with everything else I was facing) were absolutely crippling.

Would you ever move a far distance for a relationship? Probably not. Maybe I could build a new life in a new place, but I just can't imagine leaving everything behind for a relationship.

What’s the ugliest animal in your opinion? Those super deep underwater fish with the dangly light thing. <- Yeah. Most deepsea critters are pretty ugly.

What about cutest? Cats, leopard geckos, lady bugs…

Are you good at math? No.

What song describes your life currently? I can't think of anything.

What popular food do you dislike? Rolled sushi with the seaweed wrapping. I'm fine with raw fish, but I don't like the taste of seaweed.

How long could you be famous before you got “canceled”? Hmmm.

Is water wet? I mean…? Yeah…?

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I think I was around 17.

Are you in any pain currently? I'm not in pain exactly, but my neck/shoulders are kind of stiff.

What’s the closest object to you that is red? The cap to a migraine med bottle.

Do you have any cats? Three - Esther, Karenna, and Lacy.

Are you impulsive? Maybe sometimes, but I wouldn't really describe myself as impulsive anymore.

What 3 things do you think you’d need during a zombie apocalypse to survive? I guess a sturdy boat, along with plenty of food and water. Zombies can't swim…right…?

What’s the last meal you’ve had? Oh gosh, I ate a bunch of stuff at Golden Corral earlier. Salad, fried okra, hush puppies, rice, Bourbon Street chicken, a little bit of macaroni salad, broccoli…and then dessert…ice cream, a couple of mini churros, coconut cream cake, bread pudding, banana pudding…and I think that was it. Like I said in the previous survey, I really went to town. I don't think I'm gonna eat again for a year, lmao, it's time to hibernate.

Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No.

What’s a law you would create if possible? I don't think I would create any new laws.

Have you given any thought about what the Christian God looks like? Like, Jesus…? Or God-God…? Because idk if GOD looks like anything…nothing I could possibly comprehend, anyway. As for Jesus, well, I know there's a lot of controversy about that, but it just doesn't concern me seeing as I'm not Christian.

What’s your most used emojis? :') // ;D // :'( // D; etc.

What age would you choose to be forever if you had to choose? I guess this one, but I really don't want to live "forever."

How many slices of pizza can you eat in 1 sitting? I typically eat one, maybe two, but as for how many I could eat…idk. Maybe four or five, depending on how big they were and how hungry I was.

Do you prefer to fix things yourself or always call an expert? Depends on the thing.

[homeofhousechickens]

Oh and my caging for my serama flock is two deluxe wabitats which both have two add-on extensions. I brood young chickens in plastic bins (like the kind you can buy from walmart, target,ect) since they are easy to move and clean. After I'm done with a brood or about to hatch one out it's easy to soap up and scrub the whole thing, babies are also dustier and dropping feathers more often then adults so a bin helps contain some of the mess.

My leghorns have a critternation they can go into at night or when they need time without a diaper.

If I need to contain Beeper she can go into a bin or a small dog crate. I usually do not contain her but sometimes she needs diaper off time.

Here are the links

https://www.chewy.com/midwest-wabbitat-deluxe-rabbit-home/dp/131297

https://www.chewy.com/midwest-wabbitat-deluxe-rabbit-home/dp/131301

https://www.chewy.com/midwest-critter-nation-deluxe-small/dp/168680

what kind of cages and bedding/flooring do you use for your indoor chickens and why?

Horse stall pine pellets, why? Because they are moisture wicking and make cleaning up chicken poop a breeze. The birds also LOVE to dig around and bathe in it. Biggest issue though is how dusty it is so I'm willing to try other kinds of bedding. I have hemp bedding on the birds wishlist, it's a bit hard to source locally (if your one of my locals reading this feel free to tell me if you have found a good vendor) and it's expensive to ship unfortunately so I haven't tried it yet lol but I hear it's also a great indoor alternative since it's less dusty.

The pine pellet bedding is also very cheap it's only about five to six dollars depending on the location. It's very hard to beat that! I dislike shavings because they arent as moisture wicking and sometimes the smell is a bit to much for me. I'd rather have to deal with dust then little wood pieces everywhere.

I can't do paper based bedding at all because some of my birds think paper is the most delicious ambrosia.

[theoriginalmarke]

TIMID TUESDAY TALES

I had to people again yesterday but it wasn't too awful I reckon. The critters needed food and I needed a few things myself. Coffee, food, coffee, yada yada yada.

I still need coffee but I think I'm okay until I get back to Walmart in a week or two. They've got a new line called Better Goods that has a terrible name and labeling but appears to be competing with the Aldi and Trader Joe's stuff. The only thing I've tried so far is the Central American Blend coffee and I like it. I may have to look at their other Better Goods next time I go.

Each day I vacuum up enough dog fur to create a whole new dog. And then I sit down and there's more puffs of fur floating across the room like a tumbleweed. If I took Lulu to a groomer right now they would probably give up after a few hours.

The Floofer is probably sleeping in the bathroom sink right now. It's become one of her favorite spots lately.

This has been a post about nothing. Maybe I should change the title to something Seinfeld worthy. Man Hands, Master of my Domain, The Implant. Yada Yada Yada.

I love you, baby. You are really something special. MWAH!

Y'all have a great day.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Pascal characters' fave sex positions

It's probably been done before, but let's have fun. Doing (heh) the ones I've written.

Frankie. My boy wants eye contact. Would be into tantric sex, if he only knew what it was. Favourite position is lotus. You on top, but both of you doing the work. Slow and intimate, both hands free to roam and caress. Kissing, or foreheads together as you rock gently in rhythm. Plenty of opportunity to go harder, if need be. You gorgeous tits near his face. He's in heaven.

Javi P. From behind. Duh. He wants it hard and fast. Even when it's serious, and he's opened up to you, is devoted to you, and has started to heal from all the shit that happened in Colombia, he needs to lose himself in the grip of your cunt, the sweat running down his body, your wails of pleasure, the way your pretty ass bounces with each thrust. The messed up lad has some issues but knows what he likes, ok?

Ezra. Anything goes as long as your legs are on his shoulders and you're holding on to something for dear life.

Dieter. Amazon. Hoo boy does this babygirl love to be fucked by you in that position! Legs akimbo in the air, you bouncing on his dick like he's nothing but a sex toy to you. That's the good shit. He's gonna marry the fuck outta you.

Mando. One day he wants to be able to remove his helmet and have really intimate missionary sex with you, but he's not there yet, poor guy. Until then, the touch-starved little critter has to make do with the next best thing: your soft, round ass. God, it drives him wild to see that ass bounce. His favourite, therefore, is you reverse riding him. He mourns the fact that he can't gaze into your eyes and bask in the pleasure that he sees in them, but he is a patient man. He'll get there, eventually. For now, he enjoys the fuck out of your slow ride or energetic bouncing, your beautiful butt there for him to grab. Tin can man needs softness in his life, okay?

Marcus M. This is a man who will lie next to you and kiss and caress you for three hours straight before he slides into you and fucks you slowly on your side. It's not the most practical position but he wants both of you to be comfortably reclined, and in full body contact. At some point you're just sharing limbs and there is no telling where you end and he begins. It's really nice.

Joel. This middle-aged, broken piece of sweet, competent garbage fucks hard and fast because death lurks around every corner and this time could be his last. He'll dig so deep into you in missionary that you're sure he'll reemerge with gold or something. You always walk funny after. His knees always hurt. It's worth it.

Pero. He will have his dick sucked, thank you. The women he gets involved with are unsanitary and he doesn't need a new itch down there. Learn that the hard way. (Feral lil shit never stops to think about how often he washes his dick, though.) He will fuck a pair of nice big titties, too. No woman ever got knocked up from having her face painted white, if you catch my drift.

Dave. To suburban murder daddy it's not so much the position as it is the location. He loves danger, and lives for any kind of risky fornication he can think of: Walmart's parking lot, in the backseat with tinted windows, restaurant bathroom, his home office during a phone conference, the cinema, Thanksgiving dinner at his parents' house... you get it. He is the fingering king who can get you off with the crook of one of his fingers faster than any vibrator, before he presses you up against the wall or bends you over to fuck you fast and hard, before people start to wonder what's going on.

Oberyn. Hanging upside down in a trapeze or some shit. King is an athlete. Don't let the constant eating and lazy cat-in-a-sunny-spot manners fool you. He's just fuelling up.