#cs space event
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2016 Space Event Yellow Alien Cat Stim Board because I was gifted one a few days ago and I am rotating it in my head (ty again g4rf13ld)
X/X/X//X/X/X//X/X/X
#chicken smoothie#cs cat#stimboard#stim#glitter#yellow#green#ginger cat#stars#cs space event#space event is my fav event ever btwww
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endless. a sukuna drabble.
✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭¿¡
potential warnings: mind-break/fuck, vague bullshit smut prompt w the smallest amount of plot, male reader, dom reader, ig can be read like a strap if ur really creative. if you really really squint, not edited cs idk, kinda confusing around some parts but i think pretty interesting, (allusion to) marathon sex, religious themes, and irreverence for christianity (making a mockery of it) only a little, also extremely ambiguous and up to reader’s imagination.
also, idk if its clear but you and sukuna, in this, have been going at it for like 12 hours before the events below.
if anybody likes this lmk cs why not.
this is literally just a sukuna dedication post and completely self insert.
✭
“h—hhah!”
the first sound you’d pulled from him.
he bit his forearm, pressing his sweat-laced skin further into his mouth with his free hand to surpress the whimpers growing within his throat.
he bowed his head into the edge of your desk, extending one arm to grip the sheets of loose bible pages ahead of him; the other still choking back his pleasure.
you blinked lazily, angling your hips to jab at the side of his insides, purposefully coming short with your strokes to avoid ramming into his prostate.
he, almost as desperate as he is murderous, pushed himself into your strokes; arching his back into the cold wood that rubbed a soothing coolness into the skin of his upperbody.
“fff—uhg!! nngh... oh, my god.”
the first sentence he’d pulled from you.
you were fully inside him. inside the king of curses. inside ryomen sukuna, and he was enjoying it.
you panted, overstimulation crawling up and across your back as shivers. his muscles both constrict and pull your dick from tip to base, igniting sparks of endless excitement crackling through your bloodstream.
you were so deep.
you knew that.
he knew that.
everyone knew that.
but, he was endless.
endlessly dragging you closer, endlessly caressing you through the erotic convergence of yourselves. you were endlessly connected to him at your base. he was endlessly warm. he was endlessly constricting. endlessly pulling. endlessly endless.
“oh, my god.”
the second sentence from you.
only three words.
the three words that separated you enough from him to keep your composuer.
“oh, god. oh, god. i c— i can’t…” you gulped, leaning forward to stabilize yourself on the sides of your desk, feeling the beads of your rosary roll forward on your neck.
you watched as the cross— a symbol of your devotion and unwavering faith to the divine— swung, teetering between the two of you. a preist and the king of deception and mischief. it teetered between the balance of power, swinging between the holy and the unholy. “god, help me.” your eyes were filled with images of hellfire and brimstone. you knew you weren’t going to win.
not today
or anyday, actually.
you heard a stiff chuckle beneath the cross.
“god?” his voice was low, but it echoed around your head, bouncing between and through the fold of your brain and subconscious mind. it was hoarse but so smooth it’d put the finest whiskey to shame. it was so, so fucking sexy. “you think god is here?”
his voice swam between tones— first sounding incredious but quickly sifting into a honey sweet, sickly arrogance. “god forsake you the moment you purified my chambers.”
laughter followed. deep, malevolent, and prideful; boisterously bouncing between the space you shared with the devil, and, no longer your lord.
you wanted to expel him. call upon god to cast him elsewhere while you purified yourself.
but, as he laughed, the bulb of your dick sunk furthermore into his… flesh.
he felt so good. so, so, so good.
how would you be saved from something you’d kill for?
you rolled your hips, head empty and light—numb with pleasure. “i’m gonna—”
“no you’re not.”
your eyes, though fuzzy and unfocused, drifted over sukuna’s form—watching as he gripped the edges of your desk and pushed his hips closed to your chest, arching his back— pushing his spine uncomfortably close to the ancient, wooden desk upholding the two of you.
endless.
he was endless.
your eyes rolled into your skull, entirely.
“oh god…”
“are you addressing me?” you couldn’t be sure, but you knew sukuna was smirking. you could hear it in his tone, in his movements, in his walls, in every inch of you that he forced further into himself, and in the orgasm he’d been building within you.
“c—christ compels you…”
he cackled, and once again you felt the vibrations stretch through and over your base. “you don’t though, do ya?” he shifted his hips, dragging your head, and entire dick through his … satin, velvet lined organs, tapping, and being pushed pleasurably into each side.
“mmng! s’kuna, please…” you were on the verge of insanity. your mind was so full of energy it couldnt focus. not on anything but the buzzing, exploding, shooting, starlight of pleasure running around your head in halos. “please let me—“
his hips cut you off.
“ffgk—ff—fuck!”
he began moving once again, slowly. it was a leisurely pace, each time he came up, your dick disconnected from him with a slight “pop” before being enclosed and hugged fully once more. over and, over, and over. it was creating a maelstorm of titillation in your mind.
everything was fuzzy. you couldn’t finish. you couldn’t oppose sukuna’s actions. you were bound. forced to be a sex toy until your curse was lifted, and you would finally be granted relief. you would be sanctioned, free to come inside of him, as deep as he could take it.
an endless orgasm.
but he had to come first.
“are you even trying anymore?” he tsked, humor lining his every motion, and expression. “i’m disappointed father.”
his thighs—plump, supple, and full of color—snapped to your base, quicker and harder than before.
then again, faster.
and again.
again.
faster.
and faster.
and faster, and faster, and faster—
your mind went blank.
you couldn’t see.
you could only feel a pressure.
two actually.
in your stomach, a deep pressure than made your head spin when you tried to focus on it.
the second was below. spanning the entire length of your dick.
it was constant.
warm.
deep.
stretching out in both directions.
going on forever.
endlessly.
you swallowed shallowly, blinking softly as light flooded the entire surface of your vision. long tendrils of shadows stretched and weaved through the light, moving in a constant up and down motion, extremely quickly, and smooth.
you blink rapidly, unable to feel your hands.
then it hit you.
all at once.
the overwhelming urge to scream— a burning in your muscles and static that paralyzed you to…
your desk.
under sukuna.
still bouncing on your dick.
he hadn’t even noticed you’d passed out. or he did and didn’t care. you were on your back, half limp on your desk and trapped between sukuna— on the tips of his toe, slamming himself down your center, and dragging your mind, life, pleasure, soul and devotion upwards, over and over again, never stopping.
never ending.
endlessly.
forever.
just like you asked.
#spilled thoughts#male reader#top male reader#dom male reader#sub character#sub sukuna#a string of thoughts#jjk x reader#jjk x male reader#jujutsu kaisen#gay#mlm
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wildfire (cs) | eighteen. (final)

—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 4.7k
—chapter content/warnings: very light cussing, mature language, first bit is a dream oc had in the morning, the lovebirds are overseas celebrating a lot of VERY important things, yes he does!! just yes 🤭😗, a pretty intimate & sweet shower together but nothing too crazy, lots of kisses and sweet moments per usual!!

—a/n: and.. that's a wrap, loves! i figured i'd end this on a sweet, cute note just cause it made more sense to me. thank you so, so much for your love on this series. it was a fun & wild ride, & i'll truly miss 'em! gonna take a little breather, but once i'm able to catch my breath, i'll be back with more hwa, joong, and yuyu content. maybe some drabbles for our wildfire lovebirds if life lets me. lol stay tuned 💕

—THIS MORNING'S DREAM
The redwoods.
You find yourself staring out into the redwoods. In a room. No one but yourself in the quiet space.
You don't exactly know where you're at, the place doesn't seem entirely familiar; but, everything about it is beautiful. There's beautiful, tall trees ahead, some bent in a peculiar form, but they do well for the setting. Beyond it is an amazing view of the lush, green hills and a small town below. The sun isn't shining bright, and there are some clouds lingering— but the weather feels perfect. It's not too cold, not too hot. There are a million bright string lights hanging above, along with white drapes. There are all sorts and sizes of candles lining the rows of chairs, split in the middle with plants and baby pink, white, cream colored rose petals colorfully painting the aisle. The chairs are a dark wood, with white backs and cushions.
"Are you ready, pretty girl?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when your mom shuts the door behind her and comes close. She's wearing the most elegant one shoulder dress that falls to her feet, hair pulled back in a tight, low bun. She's got gold jewelry on her hands, wrist. Her nails a beautiful french-tip, red lipstick painting her lips. Makeup natural. All to match her white dress.
"Yeah, I think so." You respond softly, hands smoothing out the material beneath you. It's a lace corset top that falls off your shoulders and into long-sleeves. The bottom of your dress is a silk, milky white. The dress hugs your form perfectly. Curves and all. Makeup also beautifully done, yet natural.
Just enough.
"You look so, so beautiful, hunbun. Just so gorgeous, I can't believe today is the day already." Your mom covers her mouth with her hand, looking up to prevent the tears from flowing. "God, my makeup." You laugh.
"Stop, you're gonna make me cry." You also look up and fan at your face, doing a good job of holding it in. Keeping it together. "Okay, let's go before this gets too much for the both of us." She laughs and you link arms together, walking out of the room after she gives you a quick cheek-to-cheek kiss. She walks you towards the main doors before giving the coordinator at the door a curt nod. She does one last look over, smoothing down your dress before the doors fly open and the entire group is looking at you.
Waiting for you to walk down the aisle.
Because at the end, San is waiting there.
With your bridesmaids, his groomsmen.
As you and your mom slowly walk down the aisle and make eye contact with the crowd around you, San begins to cry, his cheeks a rosy tint. He has to look down and try to gather himself, but he can't. He simply can't.
You are literally his dream girl, and you're walking down the aisle to marry him.
"I love you." Your mom quickly whispers as she presses her cheek to yours again before handing you off to San, also giving him a cheek kiss.
"Baby." San whispers as he grabs your hand, his eyes still teary, but full of so much love, adoration and happiness.
"Hi." You giggle, no longer being able to hold back the tears you've been trying to hold onto.
"You're so beautiful. I love you." He mouths out just as the presider begins.
—END OF DREAM
"Ready, baby?" You snap out of your thoughts, realizing you were just about to dab on more lip gloss and put on some earrings before you got sidetracked and started to revisit your dream from this morning. San stands there, tying his tie while eyeing you up and down. "Good lord. That dress looks so good on you." His eyes trail down the simple, but elegant and beautiful long, black dress.
"Sannie." You laugh, finally gliding the wand over your lips before pressing them together and spreading it evenly. "Promise I'm ready now."
"We have a few minutes to spare." San shuts the bathroom door behind him, sporting a smart ass smirk.
"Weren't you just asking me if I was ready? Besides, we don't actually have a few minutes to spare—" San whines.
"Don't be like that."
"Choi San." You giggle when San rests his hands on your hips, pressing light kisses against your jaw and neck. "Stop it, we should go get your mom. She's probably wondering where we're at."
"No, she's not—" At this point, San's phone vibrates, signaling a text from his mom. "Yes, she is." He retracts and sighs, making you laugh.
"Let's go." You tap his chest, gently kissing him on the lips before wiping off the sparkly lipgloss that's lightly coating the surface of his pink, plump lips.
"By the way, what were you thinking about in there?"
"How'd you know?"
"I don't think it takes you that long to put on lip gloss." You laugh.
"I had a dream."
"Yeah? Wanna tell me about it?" You think for a second, shaking your head.
"Later." He nods. San throws on his blazer before slipping his hand into yours. Heading out of your hotel suite, you and San walk down the hall to meet his mom in a separate room that was booked by the foundation's hosts.
Today, San would be receiving another big award in Paris, probably one of the biggest in recent times— one that was enough for hosts to cover the business class flights for the three of you, and the suites for you, San and his mom. Ground transportation covered. Meals.
Everything you could think of to make this time special for all of you, but especially San.
The award ceremony would be held in about two hours in the Grand Ballroom downstairs, with San having to take photos and do a press interview beforehand. You couldn't be any more proud, and there are no words to capture how you feel about all of San's many achievements and milestones within the year and a half.
You squeeze his hand as he knocks on his mom's room door, greeting her with a big smile when she swings the door open and reveals her beautiful black, rhinestone dress. She has a shawl over her shoulders, hair combed neatly and left down. Clutch bag in hand.
"My San." She says, cupping his cheek and pressing a small kiss to the surface before moving past him to greet you. "Oh, sweetheart. You look so beautiful." She pulls you in for a hug and a kiss to the cheek as well.
"So do you, mom." You respond, squeezing her hand.
"We've got a big night in front of us." She smirks at San before leading the way to the elevators around the corner.
"Yup." San pops the 'p' at the end, shifting his weight from one foot to another.
"Nervous?" You squeeze his bicep and he shakes his head.
"No." He jokes and gives you a look before sighing and admitting defeat. "Yeah. Yeah I am."
"You'll do amazing, hun. You've gone through your speech a few times already, just let it flow naturally, okay?" His mom chimes in and reassures him. "It'll all go smoothly."
"Thank you, mom."
"Love you, my boy. Very proud of you."
"Love you, too." He gives her a toothless smile before looking down at you and pressing his lips to your forehead. "Really appreciate you guys being here with me."
"Course, love." You answer just as you step out of the elevator. The group walks next into the room adjacent to the Grand Ballroom, where San would be taking photos and doing his press interview. He's immediately greeted by members of the hosting foundation, San introducing you and his mother right away. They quickly touch him up with very light stage makeup before taking him to the backdrop area. He takes a few shots on his own with the award before the foundation leadership team surrounds him in the next few photos. They call for you to step in, then his mom, followed by the three of you all together. When it's time for San to do his press interview with the group, you and his mom sit off to the side— listening intently. He talks about his childhood, still recognizing and praising his dad for being his role model throughout his life despite him not physically being here to support his own son.
It's a shame San's dad chose not to come.
You know San would've really appreciated it, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with him. Ever. He is the way that he is, and there's no changing that.
And even with bright eyes and a big smile, San continues to talk about him and how it shaped his career, his perspective on things. You can tell it hurts him, and you can tell it hurts his mom, too. But, he carries on with the same grace that he always has, laughing and continuing to lift spirits of everyone in the room even though it's killing him inside to know he can't have his father close like he wants to. You slide your hand into San's mom's hand when you find her tearing up, rubbing her knuckles as a way to soothe her. She smiles and quickly rests her head on your shoulder before patting her eyes dry. San talks about his mom and how important his relationship with her is, how she's always been there to support him since day one— pushing him to be his very best and to never quit when times got rough. He highlights the importance of his mother's love, stating that the grace and patience he's learned over the years has been because of her.
Then, he talks about you.
His eyes find yours before he chuckles a bit, his cheeks turning red again at the interviewer asking him to dive a little deeper into the relationship he has with you and how it has support him.
"I—I honestly don't know where to start. Y/N has been a driving force for me. I can't even tell you how selfless she is, and how she always supports me throughout everything. All my good and bad days, she remains unchanging. She loves me for who I am, and she always reminds me that if there's a will, there's a way." He looks at you again before smiling at the interviewer.
"You're blushing." The interviewer teases, making everyone giggle and laugh, even his mom next to you. You know everyone is aware of the bit of your history, being his student at one point. But no one really bats an eye anymore after time has passed and the distance has only made you and San stronger in your areas, fields. Sure, there's still a few that raise a brow and tease at it. A very small number that physically look at you two in disgust or think it's still some power play or imbalance at hand; but, to each their own. Because if time hadn't passed and showed you exactly who San was and what you meant in this relationship, then maybe. Maybe you would still would've been scared, iffy, about the whole thing even being at different campuses under different niches.
But, San hadn't changed, and so hasn't his love.
There was no reason to place any doubt on him, on this.
On yourself.
You've just learned to shut out the noise— the extra noise that felt like they had reasons to be in your business, to tell you how to act, move.
You just didn't have the time or energy anymore. You were focused on what really mattered:
Your mom, your friends, your work, San.
"It sounds really cliché, but she completes me. She really is my person and a blessing. Everything I do, I do with my parents and Y/N in mind because I want to make them proud and I want them to know that I am trying to do some good in this world. I'm thinking about them and everyone, and I'm thinking about how this could affect things in the future. I am trying to do some good and I want to take care of people. Just like I want to take care of my parents, of Y/N. I hope they know that. I hope they know I'm trying to do what I can to improve science and research." You nod in agreement, somehow a way to show San that yes, you all know. You are aware of how hardworking he is and how he continues to be, despite all the trials and tribulations he has already encountered.
Suddenly, you remember your dream.
The dream had been in the back of your head for awhile, but you figured you should wait until the right time to bring it up to San. You know he wouldn't mind, and he'd love to hear all about it. You just didn't wanna take away from tonight, especially with it being an important night for him.
But, he's all you can think of.
Him, at the end of that aisle.
A dream.
That, maybe one day, can come to fruition.
The rest of the interview goes smoothly, the entire photo and interview segment wrapping up within an hour and a half or so. The three of you gather outside of the Grand Ballroom to mingle with other highly known professors, Nobel laureates and big figures within the foundation and the neuroscience/bioengineering world. San keeps you close, while his mother talks to a few people on her own— mutually knowing each other due to her husband. A few people actually acknowledge you for the work you're doing in Professor Qi's lab, and it feels nice to be acknowledged for who you are and the work you put in. But, you put a halt to those conversations quick, making sure to keep the spotlight on San tonight [even though you know he doesn't mind it one bit].
Soon, everyone is being ushered into the room, and the ceremony kicks off promptly on the hour. It begins with the foundation's president welcoming everyone to the ceremony, followed by his speech. There's four people they are honoring tonight, with San being the last person on the list to receive his award and give his speech. Along with awards in their distinct fields/categories, they've been awarded an additional cash prize, along with additional funding support for the research projects. San is the youngest professor in the room, an assistant professor at that, and it makes you immensely proud to be here with him.
To witness this evening, to witness everyone congratulate San on his achievements and tell him how amazing he has been doing on this long, tumultuous road.
When it's time for San to deliver his acceptance speech, he does his due diligence of thanking everyone in the room, his parents and you, before diving into the nitty gritty of his career, his work and where this will take him in the near future. They're strict about their 3-min cutoff, which surprisingly goes by fast for San when he's talking about his work— a hand signaling for him to start wrapping up at the tail end with his last words.
"So, with all that being said, I'm grateful to my students and postdoctoral fellows in these past years. It hasn't been long, but we have a long way to go together. They have continued to amaze me with their brilliance and their courageousness— trying everything and anything, even when pieces of the puzzle don't seem like they'll fit. But, they try, and they try. Until, it finally works. They find the right pieces to fit. And I think this is why we're all here tonight." He pauses before scanning the crowd. "Because we all have a bit of that courage. And that courage to advance science and truth has never been more important than it is now." He pauses. "Thank you." San comes to the center of the stage, doing a deep and long bow in appreciation before heading back down to your table.
"Great job, San." His mom whispers and squeezes his arm as he takes his place in between you two.
"That was perfect, Sannie." You look at him and he smiles.
"Yeah? Kinda winged it on the plane." You laugh.
"So, that's what you were doing while I was asleep."
"Yesma'am." You giggle, giving him a kiss to the cheek. The dinner portion starts, along with orders for cocktails and dessert. The foundation has a few video presentations to show the crowd what the funding has supported and how research in these areas have advanced over time. It's a very beautiful evening, and you loved watching the videos over dinner. There's even videos to commemorate the winners— and now, it's suddenly making sense why San was sending all those photos in a hurry during the week. You laugh, almost at tears, seeing San's childhood photos and videos.
It was a nice way to top off the ceremony.
After more casual photo sessions and a bit more mingling post-dinner and cocktails, you, San and his mother find yourselves heading back up to the rooms.
"I'm exhausted. I think the jet lag is hitting me right before we leave." She laughs and gives you two a quick kiss on the cheek and hug. "I'll see you both tomorrow for breakfast?"
"Sounds good. Goodnight, mom." San does a little nod before the both of you wave her off and finally head to your suite.
But, you lead the way and San trails behind.
Because now, he's more nervous than he's ever been. He's more nervous than he was prepping for the entire award ceremony. It's time for San to bring his plan to life, something he had been planning for months on end.
Just to get it all right.
For you. As you deserve.
And although he's gonna pop the question tonight, he's gonna promise you that you can take your time. That none of this has to happen quickly, that the both of you will get married and throw the wedding when the time feels appropriate, right.
Perfect.
You step into the suite and set your purse and coat down, but before you can do anything else to get more comfortable, San steps in front of you.
"I.. wanna take you somewhere. Is that okay?"
"Course, love. I'm down for adventures." You chuckle. "You aren't tired?" San shakes his head while undoing his tie, releasing the first button from his dress shirt.
"No."
"Should I change?" You look at him up and down and he shakes his head.
"No. It'll be quick. I just wanna get some air and take in Paris before we leave early in the morning. Grab your coat though, angel."
"Okay." You take your coat again just like San advises, also grabbing your purse before following him out of the room. The both of you head down to the lobby, your man heading straight for the front desk while letting go of your hand. He leans over to tell the associate behind the counter something, the man smiling and nodding in response.
"Okay, the car is out front to take us to the place."
"Where are we going exactly?"
"You'll see." He smiles, pressing a kiss to your temple.
"What'd you tell the front desk, Sannie?"
"Nothing, just wanted to check on something about our room."
"Hm, everything okay?"
"Yeah, perfect." Is all he says before swinging the back door open of the black sedan waiting at the front of the hotel. He lets you in first, giving you time to slide in and get comfortable before he situates himself.
"To the Eiffel?" The driver asks, eyes peering at San through the rearview mirror.
"Yes, please."
"Eiffel Tower? I didn't think we'd have time."
"We can always make time, baby." He laughs. "I get it, though. Every time I've flown to Paris for work, I barely have a moment to soak it in. This will is much needed."
"A perfect way to end our quick, but eventful and amazing trip." You smile and hold his hand.
"Yup." He brushes his lips against your knuckles before placing a kiss to them. The ride is quiet— mainly because San is nervous, mainly because you're trying to take in everything that passes you by in this car ride over. San is acting a little weird and he's checking his phone with his free hand here and there, but you don't question it much. You blame it on the exhaustion or jet lag, nerves finally settling since the ceremony has finished.
The ride is soothing for you. Things don't seem to matter much in this moment.
And even though you find yourself feeling a little tired, you can't wait to get some air with San at the Eiffel Tower. Another dream of yours that you had been wanting to cross off on your bucket list.
You are now, with the love of your life.
When the car drops you off at a good spot, the night air is chilly, but the coat is enough to keep you warm. San smiles as he holds your hand tightly, his dimples on full show as he finds a good spot near the tower for you to take pictures and enjoy the view.
"It's beautiful in person, San. So, so beautiful." You look up, staring at the tower lighting up in its pure beauty.
"Isn't it, sweetheart?" He comes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist before kissing the back of your head. "Glad I'm here with you."
"Thank you for taking me along."
"You know I wouldn't step foot on the plane with you." You laugh, but it fades when he suddenly removes his hold from around you and steps back. "Sorry, love. Mom is calling. Let me make sure she's okay." You look at him and nod, turning back towards the tower to take more photos to send to your mom. She hasn't answered to your last set of photos from the ceremony and it makes you wonder if she's super busy at work—
"Sorry."
"That's okay. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah." He says softly. "Perfectly fine." He pulls you flush to his body, keeping you close. Warm. "Baby." San looks at you under the starlit sky, brushing your hair back gently. He replays every single moment he's shared with you like a film strip in his head— from the moment you first met, that kiss at the view, the first date. The crazy ups and downs, the break apart.
All the firsts he experienced with you, just to head towards the lasts.
"Yeah, San?" He continues to stare, smiling softly at you. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" You cock your head to the side, furrowing your brows when San lets out a shaky breath.
"I just love you. So, so much."
"I love you, too." You giggle. But, San's expression doesn't change, and something shifts in the air. He steps back a bit, pulling something out of his pocket. "San?" You gasp and almost stumble back on your feet in surprise. He gets down on one knee, popping open the box. The people nearby cover their mouths or smile in anticipation, a common theme to happen at the tower. But, it's a beautiful, beautiful sight.
Love.
"S-San, what is—"
"Will you marry me?" You cover your mouth in surprise, tears already streaking down your cheeks. You nod eagerly, barely able to make out the 'yes' that escapes your lips. You cry as San slips the ring onto your finger, swinging you around in his arms before gently planting your feet back down onto the ground and keeping his arms around your waist. The claps and sweet cheers from the small crowd around you continue while San cups your cheeks and kisses you sweetly, deeply. The kiss goes on for awhile, making you grip San's shirt on the side.
"Congratulations!" San's mom comes into view with a bouquet, making you both finally pull away. You also notice the ceremony's photographer off to the side taking photos, wondering how San [or his mom] pulled this off. Your eyes widen in surprise, laughing as you hug your newfound fiancé and take in the moment.
You were definitely not ready for the next surprise to come, though.
"Mom?!" Your mom pops in out of nowhere with your friends on a Facetime call.
"Yes, honey!" She laughs while teary-eyed. "I bring your friends, too!" She points at the phone.
"Congrats!" You hear in the many different voices of your friends, your mom crying and laughing at the same time.
"So glad I was here for all of that."
"Mom?" You ask again in disbelief. "Guys?!" You look at the phone screen. San is watching with his mom, enjoying the way everything is unfolding.
"Sorry we couldn't be there." Jiung says. "Congrats, San and Y/N! We love you! Go enjoy yourself, we'll see you when you get back!" You nod, quickly waving goodbye to your friends before returning your attention to your mom.
"Mom, how did you even—?" You cry, and you cry, and you cry. "Mom." You don't even talk and finish your sentence, hugging your mom tightly as she continues to congratulate you and tell you how proud of you she is. How she can't wait to see you and San get married in the coming years. How everything has just fallen into place perfectly.
"San. San asked me to come as soon as the ceremony agenda was finalized and he planned everything out." Your mom wipes your tears away and smiles. "Oh, my pretty girl. Look at you. You're gonna get married!"
"I know." You laugh. "It's crazy!" You hug her again.
"By the way, we're actually not leaving for a few more days. I wanted all of us to at least be able to enjoy this time together. Let you ladies shop and enjoy Paris, too."
"San." You whine a bit and gently pinch him, still in disbelief about everything.
"Ow—yeah, baby?"
"You're the best." He laughs, walking alongside of you, your mom and his mom— arm strung around your shoulder.
"I try."
"Best Paris trip, hands down."
"Yeah, I can agree to that." San agrees.
"Me too." Your mom says, making you all laugh. You all walk to a gelato shop right across the street, indulging in the best of the best before heading back to the hotel to get comfortable after a long day. You learn your mom had arrived late last night, her hotel room only a couple of floors down from yours.
She was here the entire time and you had no idea.
They all had hid everything so perfectly, and you didn't suspect a thing. Even when San was acting a little skittish in the car. The ceremony was surely a good way to cover that all up and keep it hidden in the dark. You loved the surprise.
When you say goodnight to your mom and your soon-to-be mother-in-law, you and San finally head back to the room and get comfortable. The staff drew a heart with rose petals on the sheets, a bottle of the finest champage and a box of chocolate covered strawberries sitting in the middle with a 'Congratulations' card. You snap photos for the memories before slipping the champagne and strawberries into the fridge to indulge in tomorrow. Then, you both step into a long, piping hot shower— San's hands massaging and caressing away at your body. Everything about the shower is intimate; slow kisses, slow movements. Hands laced tightly, bodies pressed tightly together. Tongues exploring and dancing around each other's mouths. Nothing more, nothing less.
Just taking each other in as is during this moment.
After a good 30 minutes in the shower, San helps dry you off before focusing on himself. You finish up your nightly routine before slipping into one of San's shirts and getting into bed. San shuts off all the lights in the suite, pulling the sheer curtains across the balcony door so you can still see the city lights and the moon coming in. He settles in next to you and instantly pulls you onto his chest, letting out a big sigh of relief when you both get comfortable.
"Mission accomplished today."
"You must feel relieved."
"Very fucking relieved." You snort.
"Congrats again, babe. You deserved all of the praise today."
"Congrats to you too, angel." You smile, resting on his chest for a bit. The both of you lay in silence, listening to the hustle and bustle of the city beneath you.
"My dream this morning." You break the silence and say softly while laying on his chest, tracing faint shapes on his skin.
"Hm, oh yeah." He hums. "Ready to tell me?"
"I had a dream about our wedding." You look at him, still teary-eyed from the whole encounter. "It was beautiful." You begin to tell him about the details, recounting the decorations, the setting, the flowers. Everything.
Laying out the image you had exactly in your head.
How you cried, how San cried.
"Oh, I know I'm gonna cry seeing you walk down that aisle. No doubt." You laugh.
"Yeah, I will, too." San chuckles.
"I'll make sure to give you all of that and more, how about that?" He caresses your cheek with the softest smile.
"Only if you want it, too."
"Course I do, it sounds perfect for us."
"Yeah?" You look up at him and he nods.
"100%." He kisses your forehead. "I love you, Y/N. More than anything."
"I love you too, San."
"Can't wait to do life with you."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated @randajjjad
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#choi san#ateez#san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop smut#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez angst#hwaslayer: wildfire
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Re: The Spaces Inbetween - Part 2
I had a discussion w/ an Anon in Discord today about how L has likely been there bts w/ N at most events and how little he's been around A. In Round 1, he had to drag A along for a few weeks, but thankfully friends were around and def. separate rooms. Round 2 has been even less w/ a few hours a night for several events and then back to N & baby Newts.
As I always say, it's the spaces inbetween - what you DON'T SEE - that matters.
Starting in August, after Round 1 was over, we can see how JD helped as a decoy for L, as did Temu Luke & others. Back rooms/ entrances (as Tom Holland has mentioned are available to celebs) and industry events where L could blend in helped, I'm sure. Nobody would much pay attn. to L when Rihanna is on the red carpet... 🫣
Here's a breakdown of the possibilities:
• End of August - Malta, JD as decoy 🇲🇹
• Sept. 15 - Emmys in LA, JVN as decoy (L starring as The Wordle) 🖊
• Sept. 20- Gucci show in Milan, Temu Luke as decoy, HD also there 😎
• Sept. 21 - Chappell Roan Concert, N's friend group there, incl. JD; not one fan video taken, just JD being a pretty princess 🤠
• Oct. 1 - Glamour Awards, N walked the red carpet w/ SA; not sure they were hiding this one w/ L's hands in the pic. of N getting ready 📱🤏
• Oct. 4 -11- NYC trip, JD as decoy (I will die on the Long Legs T-shirt decoy hill! Lol)👕
• Nov. 5 - Harper's Bazaar Awards, JR as decoy, GR also there (L could've skipped this one, prepping for and/ or already in Rome for WM 👽 + paps were getting loud)
• Nov. 18- Wicked premiere? 🧙♀️ Possible L & N went, although we saw none of the Bridgy cast. Decoy pic w/ N, JD, ERK, Camilla.
• Nov. 21 - Tasaki jewerly event w/ YH (L could've skipped this one, for the girlies) 💍
• Dec. 2 - BFAs, Temu Luke as decoy (L had gone the year prior) 💃
• Dec. 3- Will & Harper screening, not much from this event (L could've been there w/ N as it was a special screening), Dir. GG also there.
• Dec. 5- KS event, L would've had to stay bts, as too many public pics/ vids; owner of their gym & his gf were there. 💪
• Dec. 10 -Queer screening, JD as a decoy (if L back from Rome; ofc, JD also had invested interest in the film 🌈).
• Dec. 12/13 - Graham Norton (yes, L could've been backstage - we'd never know! 🏍)
• Jan. 8 - William Tell premiere, JD as decoy (+ N there to support him; CS is the lead/ his wife was L's costar in TSOT so possible the spouses were there & kept a low profile) 👫👫
• Jan. 13 - Big Boys 3 premiere, JD as decoy (was it not L sitting next to N, and his sis Lauren at the after party? I say yes 😉)
• Jan. 27 - Dior show at PFW. Temu Luke as decoy, Clodagh, HB also there (Note: I apologize to Dylan... he's not just Temu Luke, he's handsome in his own right🧍♂️)
• February... well, we know the 2nd round of obligations started and they've done the best they can. Thank God for the SAGs!!! ♡♡♡








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Tips for writing dream sequences (from someone who has really vivid, weird dreams on a frequent basis)
My biggest pet peeve with fictional dream sequences is that they make too much sense!! They're too relevant! There's not enough random crazy stuff! That's not always unrealistic per se, but you are missing out on some of the fun ways you can reveal information about your character's mindset, fears, struggles, and future.
Most of my dreams have a goal or objective driving the plot, and it's usually urgent. Ex. "escape the huge storm on the horizon", "find a place to sleep for the night in an unfamiliar town", "find a bathroom". This is especially true of stress dreams.
Everything going on in the dream makes perfect sense to you during the dream. It doesn't feel like reality per se, but you think it is. You're living in a house full of vampires that could eat you at any moment? Seems legit.
Emotions and situations from the dreamer's life can/will find their way into dreams, with varying levels of subtlety. The dream could be about the stressful event itself, or it could be some sort of exaggerated metaphor. Ex. I was worried about whether I was a competent CS major while I was still trying to find a summer job/internship, and I was worried about what my professors must think of me. Such a good student on paper, still without summer plans. I dreamed that I ran into my professors all having lunch together at a restaurant (during a dream with a completely different storyline), and I was wearing my pajamas. They judged me.
Certain things are very hard to do in dreams. This could vary from person to person. For me, it's always driving (the brakes never work right), flying (I can't stay off the ground for very long), and running (it's like trying to run through waist-deep water).
People with PTSD may dream about the traumatic event happening differently than it actually happened. (Take this one with a grain of salt - I don't suffer from PTSD, I just research it sometimes so my blorbos can suffer accurately).
You can have a string of loosely connected or disconnected dream sequences back to back, each with an entirely different plot, setting, etc.
People can have reoccurring themes or plotlines in their dreams, which are often connected to their lives/psyche somehow. I frequently dream about running away from tornadoes and being in situations where there's some catastrophe coming but I'm the only one who understands that there's a problem and nobody will listen to me.
It's common for me to have a dream setting that I KNOW is someplace I'm familiar with, but it doesn't actually look like that place at all. Ex. "I dreamed that we were at my house, but it didn't look like my house..."
Dreams can end in cliffhangers. Sometimes I wake up right before I'm about to eat something delicious.
Sometimes people have dreams about doing things that they would never, ever do in real life, and they wake up feeling disgusted. This is Not a manifestation of their secret desires (*glares at Freud*).
Images are the most memorable parts of dreams. I forget the specific plot points, but I can still picture dozens of liminal spaces my brain has created, even years after I dreamed about it.
Dreams will fade from memory very quickly unless the dream had a strong impression on you, you write details about it down or you tell someone about it before you forget.
If you realize you're dreaming during your dream, sometimes you can control the dream going forward. This is called lucid dreaming. I've done it accidentally a couple times, and it's really hard to "hold on" to the dream and control it. I usually wake up soon after starting. With practice, you can get better at it.
Sometimes a normal/good dream can turn into a nightmare, and vice versa. Most of my dreams aren't really good or bad, they're something in between.
Your subconscious brain is CRAZY intuitive. We can argue over the existence of prophetic dreams (I've heard so many crazy stories), but at the end of the day, your subconscious brain knows things that you don't consciously know. If your character is in love with someone, their subconscious brain will know even if the character doesn't. Relationship problems? Deepest darkest fears and insecurities? Your brain knows. A dream predicted the downfall of my first relationship eight months before it happened, down to the reason why we failed. You can absolutely foreshadow this way. A character might subconsciously know what the consequences of their or other people's actions will be, understand things about the situation they're in, know things about the people they're interacting with, and more, despite their conscious realizations.
There are plenty of ways to make a dream sequence relevant to your story, but don't forget to add in some fun, random details. Character A is secretly in love with Character B? Have Character A dream about Character B confessing feelings to them while in a Vine Nostalgia themed restaurant over a plate of mac-n-cheese. The details are the fun part, and you can get as weird as you want. I once ran into my aunt in a dream, and she was wearing a backpack with a bunch of (fake?) hands sticking out of it, making a fan that rose above her back behind her head like some sort of peacock feather costume piece. I was so freaked out that I woke up. I dare you to get weirder than that.
Not everyone's brain works the same way. I have vivid, random, detailed, memorable dreams on a frequent basis. When I describe them to people they often ask "what were you on?". My roommate only remembers her dreams when they're nightmares. I have some friends who say they don't dream. Other friends have really boring, mundane dreams about their normal lives. Some people have weird dreams but only once in a blue moon. It's a good idea to decide off the bat what kinds of dreams your character has, and how often they remember them.
That's it for now, but I might make a part two if I think of more things to add. Feel free to reblog with your own personal dream expertise!
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X-Men #11 Review
To be honest, this one was underwhelming. There's always something worthy of commentary, it just feels like not much happens and it doesn't quite feel like a full issue - perhaps because it bucks the Marvel formula of the three Cs - conflict, choice, and conclusion.
Stuff certainly happens but nothing that couldn't be summed up in a few sentences at the start of next issue. The last three issues have all had high stakes, for better or worse, and without room to breathe tension burns out.

The Raid on Graymalkin is over but not much has changed, Agent Fucko and the O*N*E have stood down, and everyone is moving on. I didn't expect to see a discussion about recent events but I really want one. Serious shit has gone down very recently and all these people should have opinions on that. The X-Men are used to constant drama but still ... it feels like those events didn't matter and the characters feel thinner for it. It's said that the O*N*E visit was 'earlier' yet Beast is standing and relaxed despite being beaten badly. Maybe Xorn is that good a healer.
After a cold open on some kind of space bullshit crashing nearby, we cut to Beast and Jen Starkey running some tests on her mutation. They're on an awkward first name basis after she reminds him but they're getting along well enough. Hank theorises that she's a metamorph of some kind and tests that hypothesis. Flying seems like a risky place to start but I'm not a scientist. Fortunately he's right and she's not a reality warper or something - she grows wings and assumes avian features. Cool. We move on from them as the plot is happening to other people. Nice to see you both, say hi to Magneto for me.

Whatever crashed is making a beeline for Merle, and Scott feels the O*N*E visit has already disrupted the town enough for one day. If it wasn't coming for them he says it would be none of their business, which is understandable. The X-Men have so many red alert crises and threats coming for them that they couldn't operate as traditional superheroes even if they wanted to. I think that might be this book's identity - Cyclops and friends playing whack-a-mole with endless mutant problems. Although, in other books they're expanding the scope. They're fighting one of Cyttorak's kids right now in Amazing Spider-Man, they've agreed to be on call to the Avengers and have an alliance of sorts; though when all the heroes gather for One World Under DOOM the only mutant present is Storm. Maybe they're in space due to this issue, but the degree of connectivity feels inconsistent. That's often been a thing with X-books, except it's been explicitly set up in Avengers so I don't know what to think.
The banter is cute and the ad hoc points system adorable, but it's mood whiplash considering there's been no time skip since the last 3 intense issues. Maybe I'm nitpicking. I've certainly been known to. People who aren't able to decompress after high stress situations often turn to humour to cope. Something I find myself saying with this book a lot is 'I guess we'll see if it's followed up on.' Given the amount of dangling plot threads and character beats I can't help but feel that the book doesn't deserve that grace. I'll come back to that.

Moving on, Scott needs to be captured by alien bounty hunters and this is how it happens. The visitor from space is Scott's deadbeat dad, Corsair. He's here to warn him that he's got a huge battalion after him, but he really doesn't prioritise it. They greet warmly but Scott is suspicious of his motives, an attitude he had in Phoenix but one that's at odds with other recent history. Whatever - Corsair sucks and he deserves to get called out.

Haha! Krakoa callbacks have been pretty inconsistent, but this is definitely a fun one to dredge up. The Starjammers did abandon the New Mutants to Shi'Ar prison for petty reasons and Magik remembers. She interrupts Scott's interrogation and punches the old geezer in the face. Good for her. Space jail sucks and that's dry snitching.
It's interrupted by Beast detecting even more space bullshit with his instruments. A space whale carrying a whole bunch of aliens is rolling up. So that's what the situation is, thanks Corsair.

'For you. They're here for you.' Not hard.
Err, you didn't really say that, Corsair. Sure, you used that word, but there was no sense of urgency when you could have just said 'aliens are coming to get you, Scott Summers, very soon. It's an emergency.' Even after getting angry he talks about himself and deflects. Just fucking tell them what's happening dude. 'They' is vague and you basically wasted your time. He's not even finished blundering.

The X-Men leap into action with Scott assuming the bounty hunters are here for Corsair - a VERY reasonable assumption. That they're actually here for Scott is very strange. I think Scott taking the situation at face value would be correct 99% of the time - Corsair is a dodgy space pirate who's always being chased by bounty hunters whereas Scott is a Shi'Ar ally and on decent terms with the Kree-Skrull empire. As Corsair admits, he has a 2.5 million credit bounty on his head. No idea what the exchange rate is but it sounds like a lot. I wonder if they're still using Mysterium as a currency and store of value.
There's been some big changes in galactic politics recently in response to Jean and Phoenix cruising around. Gladiator freaked out about it and long story short the Galactic Council put Thanos in charge. They shouldn't be able to do that but mind control is probably involved. Hulkling, Wiccan, or Xandra have been strangely absent. Anyway, failing to get across that they're after Scott is such a blunder I have to wonder if it's not a betrayal. Corsair is an idiot, but that makes this an idiot plot. His and Scott's argument ends up being a pointless waste of time - just taking up page space.

Temper scorches the poor whale, lucky it's lobotomized. The X-Men come through a portal onto the whale ship and raise hell. It's always nice to see how effectively the team work together, though we've just had an event full of pointless violence. Scott thinks he's rescuing his dad but he's really charging into a trap. Corsair eventually convinces Quentin to let him into the telepathic group chat and HE STILL YAPS ABOUT IRRELEVANT INFORMATION. Fuck, just tell him they're here for him; Scott doesn't need to know about the economics of interstellar travel right now.

'I came to warn you, son. I'll do so after including as much extraneous information as possible.' Corsair manages to spit it out only after Scott has already realised something is up. The bounty hunters are wearing Ruby Quartz armor (which is pretty cool) and they've got Cyclops surrounded. Seems like Magik could get him out of there pretty easily, or Scott could blow a hole in the floor. Juggernaut, famously, can't be stopped - surely he can take out these chumps.
Only now do we get 'they're after you.' Three words that he could have said at any time, or even thought it at either of the two telepaths present. He even has a ship-to-speeder communicator that he could have used to get to the point. It's necessary to have characters make mistakes and have errors in communication. It's a reliable and relatable source of drama. Filling half the issue with Corsair dropping out of the sky and saying plenty of words that don't advance the plot or characters in a believable way feels like pointless filler. Corsair has had more dialogue than Glob, Xorn, and Ben Liu - all ongoing characters - and all of it served no purpose. You could remove him from this issue without affecting anything. As I said in the intro, stuff happens, but nothing that couldn't be summed up in a few sentences for the next issue.

Now that Corsair has said what he came to say he's wallpaper. Good. Idie and Quentin are looking to support their teammates when fucking Alpha Flight arrive to help (I think?) A Beaubier-less Alpha Flight is not particularly interesting to me, but I like most of them. They all got imprisoned by ORCHIS during Fall of X for supporting mutants. Definitely cool behaviour, and Puck is generally rad (not sure if he's here) but I there's one member who can go fuck himself.

James MacDonald Hudson is the worst. He's ostensibly a hero but he does a lot of reactionary bootlicking. He briefly joined ORCHIS out of fear of mutants but got cold feet when Australia was nearly destroyed. I'll rant about him another time, but woo - Alpha Flight are here to support the X-Men. Maybe the space bullshit will only take up one more issue. It ends there, so we'll find out next time.
Around issue #5 of this run I stated that I was starting to notice the narrative formula. Each issue will focus on a handful of characters while introducing some new crisis, the rest of the team will get a few panels at best, there'll be some action squeezed in somewhere and then it'll end on a cliffhanger. The cumulative effect is that the plot is glacially slow, the characters have one or two defining traits/issues, and most plot points dangle as crisis after crisis gets piled on.
Even the plot points that have been revisited haven't been resolved in any way, like Graymalkin or the ongoing O*N*E cold war. Here's a list of the dangling plot threads and character beats I could think of without rereading.
- 3K and the adult mutants
- Cassandra Nova
- R-LDS
- The Upstarts
- Graymalkin prison
- The O*N*E
- Scott's anxiety attack
- Piper Cobb
- Magik's chess game
- Idie's problems with authority and teamwork
- Magneto. Just Magneto. He's there but has little to say
- The Phoenix
- Beef with Rogue
- King Bedlam's price
Any one of these things would usually be a priority to deal with or at least discuss. I feel like it devalues their importance to just introduce a new problem almost every issue and it makes it harder to get invested in events as they unfold. This issue, for instance - I suspect it'll be resolved next issue and not spoken about again. Or, it will be a drawn out space adventure like the old days and all the Earthly problems will be put on the backburner. Either way it's a problem caused by frontloading all these crises and continually stacking them on top of one another.
There are moments of solid execution and meaningful character work, but when everything is a crisis nothing is. X-Men #11 looks pretty good, as usual, but it's entirely skippable. If you are a big Corsair fan and want 10 pages of him failing a simple task then this book is for you, but if not you can get everything you need from the intro blurb next issue.
#x men#x comics#cyclops#jed mackay#ryan stegman#idie okonkwo#quentin quire#juggernaut#beast#jennifer starkey#marvel#comics#magneto#alpha flight#from the ashes#corsair#badoon#skrulls#magik
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I have read everyone's ASKs and Yes! The entire premise of Caleb’s new Event is just a repurposed rip-off from the Lightseeker Myth.
The premise of traveling and exploring different planets as well as discovering a small planet with life..with nothing but flowers blooming on it (LITERALLY ULURU)
And yes, there's several more discrepancies like the obvious fact that the thematic colors of the event DO NOT match the deep blue and orange tones associated with Caleb (which btw are still being used in the official posts for Caleb's new myth but not the event).
Plus the fact that the planets are surrounded by flowers that literally resemble Forget-me-nots and look nothing like Caleb's official flowers.
Xavier and Caleb sharing the space and sci-fi themes is NOT an issue but when you look at all these factors of planets, colors, travel, even certain rephrased dialogues,..then it becomes very obvious what PG did. And it will happen to every LIs at some point unless we complain collectively and stop them now.
Lastly, I've been very active and vocal about it on my twitter account @tailor-0f-chaos so check that out for more active updates.
Majority of CN Xavier wives and Global Xav Wives have complained to CS with their complaints being ignored and a new merch line being thrown at us to distract us.
A well-known leaker even confirmed that it was a scrapped event for Xavier that has been repurposed due to time constraints put on the creative team.
Currently, some Caleb stans who took this as an offense upon themselves and Caleb (instead of understanding that this is about PG's lack of integrity), attacked the VIP CS in CN to stop this from spreading further.
As such, someone from VIP CS said that the Xavier stans claims are "false" and THREATENED if we talk about this further but gave no concrete proof to support their claims.
So tell me? If someone is running a business by selling false products, and you confront them about it, will they outright tell you that their products are fake? NO.
This is exactly what PG is doing.
You can keep denying and doubling down but it won't change what's obviously evident to everyone.
#xavier#caleb#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace#lads caleb#lads xavier
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2024 Book Review
In 2024 I read 80 books (including my current read); sort of average for me. My challenge this year was to 1. read the Vorkosigan saga, and 2. To read no (or very few) US authors besides Bujold, and I succeeded in both. The word I'd use to describe many of the books mentioned below is unusual. It wasn't intentional but a lot of these reads were weird (complimentary). I also reread a lot of books, such as CaPri (again!), Dark Rise/Heir, the first two novels of Lymond Chronicles and a great deal of KJ Charles romances.
The Vorkosigan Saga
A sci-fi space opera series of 16 novels plus several novellas, published from the 90s onwards. I read all of them, except one novella. Go me! It's a fantastic series and its reputation is well deserved. Some books were more exciting or to my taste than others, naturally, but they were all easy to read, well paced and well characterised. The stretch of books from Brothers in Arms to Civil Campaign was my fave. I tore through those novels in a few weeks. Mirror Dance, Memory and A Civil Campaign are some of my fave reads of the year.
9 other books that stood out
Vita Nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko. JFC. What a novel. What a mindfuck. I didn't know what was happening most of the time but it sure was compelling. The story was weird as fuck, incomprehensible at times, with trippy magic, full of body horror and a menacing mood and dark academia vibes, and it was unlike anything I've read. It's a fantasy but not a typical one; it resists defining and needs to be experienced.
The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera. The second most exciting book of the year. An unusual, mesmerising fantasy with incredible worldbuilding and lush prose.
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Finally read this celebrated novel and it was nothing like I'd expected. Though, idk what I expected. Definitely a book that stays with you. I'm sure a lot of the references to the time period flew over my head. One to reread.
Faithful Place and The Secret Place by Tana French. Grouping these together as they feature the same characters. Tana French is a huge favourite of mine and I can't imagine reading a novel of hers that doesn't end on my fave-books-of-the-year list. Gorgeous prose and a deep dive into characters make her books less than typical murder mysteries.
Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski. An atmospheric, mesmerising read about young queer love, with beautiful, lyrical prose and a hefty dose of history. I loved the portrait of Poland in the 70s-80s.
The Will of the Many by James Islington. A fantasy novel I devoured within days. Some of its elements are very traditional fantasy (secret identity of main character, tough academy to attend, end of graduation big event to complete, Roman inspired architecture and names) but the worldbuilding with the Will as a measure of power and the Pyramids is unique and fascinating. This is a hefty 600+ page novel, but easy to read and briskly paced. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
The Vegetarian by Han Kang. A Kafkaesque novel, layered and deep, with an ambiguous ending. The kind of work that leaves one unsure, full of questions and barely-glimpsed thoughts like silent things swimming in dark water. I'm keen to read more from this author.
Dark Heir by CS Pacat. Last but not least is the sequel to Dark Rise. I enjoyed it a lot more than the first novel; and in fact, I immediately went back and reread Dark Rise and enjoyed that one more the second time round--and then I read Dark Heir again, just days after my first read. To say I'm gagging for the third novel is an understatement. This one got under my skin, guys.
KJC Sad War Boys reread
On a discord I used to belong to, some fans took all the characters KJC has created that used to be soldiers and ranked from least sad to most sad. I thought that was a perfect idea for a reread, and so I started with the Henchmen of Zenda (what a fun novel! And Jasper isn't much cut up about his army service) and moved on accordingly towards the one with the saddest war boy, which is also, as it happens, possibly my fave KJC romance.
Other Notable Reading Accomplishments
Finished The Witcher series! Hooray!
Finally read Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series, which I'd bought many years before. I can't say I loved the 3 main novels (though the worldbuilding was interesting) but I did enjoy the two novellas featuring a fab new ship: Stab Husband and Dragon Husband. I love these two so much. (The novellas are: Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders, and Of Charms, Ghosts and Grievances)
Read THREE new KJ Charles novels. We've been blessed this year.
I read 6 novels by Keigo Higashino, who writes murder mysteries unlike any I've read. Superbly plotted and always unusually structured.
Finally got around to reading my pal's (and former drarry author) YA novel, Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues, which was as delightful as I'd expected.
Some stats
I might have read 80 novels but not by 80 authors. I went over my spreadsheet and saw a lot of the same names popping up. I thought I'd make a count, so here goes: I read 19 books (novels and novellas) by Lois McMaster Bujold, 15 books by KJ Charles (mostly rereads), 6 by Keigo Higashino, 5 by Aliette de Bodard (plus a short story), and 5 by CS Pacat.
Onwards to 2025!
Previous years:
2015 2016 2019
first half of 2020 top 5 books of 2020
2021 2022 2023
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kings rising highlights & annotations
chapter 10
indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!
also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!
i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.
this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.
The events of last night, endlessly complicated in the candlelit privacy of Laurent’s bedchamber, had resolved into a single, blissful fact this morning. Laurent missed him.
<3
He felt a flutter of illicit joy when he thought of it. He remembered Laurent gazing up at him. You keep overturning all my plans. Laurent was going to be furious when he arrived at the morning meeting.
he’s going to be in such a bad mood <3 i love their love
‘You’re in a good mood,’ Nikandros said, as he came into the hall. Damen clapped him on the shoulder, and took up his place at the long table. ‘We’re going to take Karthas,’ said Damen.
“also my divorce husband likes me again”
Straton arrived with Philoctus, arranging their skirts as they sat. Makedon was already present, along with Enguerran. Vannes arrived and took her seat, arranging her skirts similarly
i like how skirts are contextualized as authoritative here, and the female character who you’d expect based on traditional stereotypes to be the only one in the skirt, and whose dress skirt is nothing like the akielon battle skirts, is still seamlessly grouped in with the men
Laurent entered, an edge to his grace, like a leopard with a headache, around whom one must tread very, very carefully. ‘Good morning,’ said Damen. ‘Good morning,’ said Laurent. This was said after an infinitesimal pause, as if maybe for once in his life the leopard wasn’t quite certain what to do. Laurent sat on the throne-like seat of oak beside Damen, and kept his eyes carefully on the space in front of him.
screaming they’re so ridiculous. laurent is so out of his element with no idea what happened
‘Laurent!’ said Makedon, greeting Laurent warmly. ‘I am glad to take up your invitation to hunt with you in Acquitart when this campaign is over.’ He clapped Laurent on the shoulder. Laurent said, ‘My invitation.’ Damen wondered whether he had ever been clapped on the shoulder in his life.
laurent let his self-sim go on full autonomy for a night and is discovering that he’s now best friends with makedon
This provoked a wave of soldierly camaraderie. Laurent did not typically engage in soldierly camaraderie, and did not know what to do.
fucking nerd
‘You’ve sent riders to announce your plans?’ said Laurent. ‘This is the Akielon way,’ said Makedon, as he might to a favoured nephew a bit slow at learning. ‘An honourable victory will impress the kyroi and gain the favour that we need at the Kingsmeet.’ ‘I see, thank you,’ said Laurent.
laurent thinks war is brutal and fucked up and doesn’t approve of the “decency” of akielon customs. also he’s a passive aggressive bitch
Makedon was explaining the virtues of iron tea to Laurent, and when Laurent massaged his own temple with finely bred fingers, Makedon remarked, rising, ‘You should have your slave fetch you some.’ ‘Fetch me some,’ Laurent said. Damen rose. And stopped. Laurent had gone very still. Damen stood there, awkwardly. He could think of no other reason why he had stood up.
GUYS.
He looked up and his eyes met those of Nikandros, who was staring at him. Nikandros was with a small group to one side of the table, the last of the men in the hall. He was the only one to have seen and heard. Damen just stood there.
this would be an hr complaint if anyone else noticed, but only nik saw so private twitter vent #12 it is
The acidulous blue of Laurent’s gaze on him had nothing to do with the meeting. ‘Nothing happened,’ said Damen. ‘Something happened,’ said Laurent.
honestly i think part of laurent would have preferred if they fucked to just being vulnerable and affectionate and damen being decent
‘You were drunk,’ said Damen. ‘I took you back to your rooms. You asked me to attend you.’ ‘What else?’ said Laurent. ‘I did attend you,’ said Damen. ‘What else?’ said Laurent. He had thought having the upper hand over a hungover Laurent would be a rather enjoyable experience, except that Laurent was beginning to look like he was going to vomit. And not from the hangover. ‘Oh, stand down. You were too drunk to know your own name, let alone who you were with or what you were doing. Do you really think I’d take advantage of you in that condition?’ Laurent was staring at him. ‘No,’ he said awkwardly, as if, only now giving the question his full attention, he was coming to realise the answer. ‘I don’t think you would.’ His face was still white, his body in tension. Damen waited.
<3 i don’t have too much heavy analysis because this is so much payoff to previous analysis. laurent trauma intimacy issues, damen’s never-ending decency that laurent does not expect, damen being delighted/amused by laurent allowing himself to be vulnerable but also sensitive to the discomfort of that vulnerability
‘Did I,’ Laurent said. It took him a long time to push the words out. ‘Say anything.’ Laurent held himself taut, as if for flight. He lifted his eyes to meet Damen’s. ‘You said you missed me,’ said Damen. Laurent flushed, hard, the change in colour startling. ‘I see. Thank you for—’ He could see Laurent taste the edges of the statement. ‘—resisting my advances.’ In the silence, he could hear voices beyond the door that had nothing to do with the two of them, or the honesty of the moment that almost hurt, as if they stood again in Laurent’s chambers by the bed. ‘I miss you too,’ he said. ‘I’m jealous of Isander.’ ‘Isander’s a slave.’ ‘I was a slave.’ The moment ached. Laurent met his gaze, his eyes too clear. ‘You were never a slave, Damianos. You were born to rule, as I was.’
we are so fucking back. sooo bittersweet, with this little shutdown of “we can’t have each other and we never really could have” a kingdom or this etc, they’ll figure it out soon we are in the home stretch
It was a beautiful fort. He saw that, the ghost of its Veretian grace; of what it had been; of what it could be again, perhaps. For his part, this was farewell. He wouldn’t return here, or if he did, as a visiting King, it would be different, restored as it should be to Veretian hands. Marlas, so hard-won, he would simply give back.
or you could both be kings together. just a suggestion.
That was strange to think. Once a symbol of Akielon victory, it seemed now a symbol of all that had changed in him, the way that when he looked now, he saw with new eyes.
:)
Damen looked back at Genevot. Genevot was trembling. She wasn’t scared. She was furious. She was furious at him, at his presence here. ‘It wasn’t fair what happened to your village,’ Damen said to her. ‘No fight is fair. Someone’s always stronger. But I’ll give you justice. That I swear.’ ‘I wish Akielons had never come to Delfeur,’ said the girl. ‘I wish someone had been stronger than you.’ She turned her back on him after she said it. It was an act of bravery, a girl in front of a king. Then she went and picked up a coin from the floor. ‘It’s all right, Genevot,’ said the girl. ‘Look, I’ll teach you a trick. Watch my hand.’
she is/was laurent. laurent is/was her. so many poignant references to damen and laurent's "discussion" during the marlas rematch. this is a perfect moment, and the coin trick recognition is just the cherry on top
Damen’s skin prickled as he recognised it, the echo of another presence, the achingly familiar self-possession that the girl mimicked as she closed her hand over the coin, holding her fist out in front of her. He knew who had been here before him, who had sat with her, taught her. He had seen this trick before. And though her eight-year-old sleight of hand was a little clumsy, she managed to push the coin into her sleeve, so that when she opened her hand again, it was empty.
laurent’s resilience becomes vere’s resilience becomes becomes damen’s resilience. and damen had a large part in creating the circumstances that required laurent to become so resilient, which is a fascinating cycle. i don’t know if damen regrets what happened with auguste yet on a purely idealistic level (as opposed to feeling bad for laurent), or if he ever fully will, because his perception of akielon “decency” in war is still slowly evolving.
i’m guessing that the final straws for damen will be the realizations about the regent and kastor, and only then will he fully Get that it is all fucked, war can't be civil, and there could have been peace instead this entire time. there is no divine right of the “strongest” people simply deserving dominion over others, and the best way one can use authority is to show compassion to enemies and allies alike. it’s not just that the strong shouldn’t hurt the weak—they shouldn’t hurt the strong either, ideally. and while that can sometimes be unavoidable, it’s important to build a world where peace is the goal. which he can laurent can both do, together :)
He saw Laurent, also mounted, a frowning spicule with blond hair. Rigidly upright in the saddle, his polished armour gleamed, his eyes impersonal with command. With the head that Laurent had from griva, it was probably a good thing that he would soon be killing people.
‘You’ve been listening to slave gossip.’ ‘You spent the night in the Prince of Vere’s rooms.’ ‘I spent ten minutes in his rooms. If you think I fucked him in that time you underrate me.’
nik please we are at war
‘I see. You’re warning me again not to bed him?’ ‘No,’ said Nikandros. ‘I know you’re going to bed him. I’m saying that when he lets you, think about what he wants.’
nikandros you have no idea what the fuck is going on between those two, mind your business
She was beautiful. As ever with her, it was something you noticed initially and then forcefully discarded because it was the least dangerous aspect of her. It was her mind, deliberate, calculating, that was the threat, regarding him from behind a pair of cool blue eyes.
mhm yeah that sounds familiar
He made himself look at her. He made himself remember every part of her, the way she had smiled, the slow approach of her sandalled feet as he had hung in chains, the touch of her elegant fingers against his bruised face. Then he turned to the low-level foot soldier to his right, delegating a trivial task that was beneath him, and now meant nothing. ‘Take her away,’ he said. ‘We have the fort.’
okay very specific here but you know how in like 2000s and 2010s reality tv, finalists in competitions would have like "family/home visits" towards the end of the season, and you always got a ton of implied context about how they've become who they are on the show? the middle of king's rising kind of feels like that. like we met damen's bestie, and now we're meeting his ex. we get to basically see his hometown. i won't say the slight tone shift is bad, and there are definitely still intense moments (especially what we're building up to), but it's still just a... slightly odd feeling. does anyone else feel that way?
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A Fortunate Failure
A CS Modern AU One-shot for CS Spooky Season/Autumnal Bingo

Here is my second offering for the Bingo boards created by @hollyethecurious. This one is based on the prompt 'getting lost in a corn maze'. Now I can cross off two spaces on my card.

Special thanks to @hookedmom for her beta expertise.
Summary: At Mary Margaret and David’s annual ‘All Things Autumn’ party, Emma and Killian hope to win the competition championship again. The final event to determine the winning team is escaping the cornfield maze the fastest, but when the two friends get hopelessly lost, they discover that losing might actually lead to the best prize of all.
Rating: T
Words: 3553
Can also be found on Ao3 and ffn
*********
Killian Jones finishes buttoning his shirt and checks his reflection in the mirror. Plaid flannel really isn’t his thing, but he’s trying to get into the spirit of the evening. Besides, when Emma Swan extends an invitation and tells him to wear plaid flannel, he will do it.
He will do just about anything for Emma Swan…except admit his feelings to her.
“Coward,” he whispers to his reflection. “If you don’t tell her pretty soon, she’s going to find someone else to date.” He doesn’t know if he could stand watching her with another guy like he had to when she dated that idiot Neal. Then he had to do it again when she went out with Walsh a few times, before she found out he was an egotistical liar.
Grabbing his black leather jacket from the hook on the back of his bedroom door, he double checks that his keys are in the pocket, then walks out the door and jogs to his car. He told Emma he would meet her at David and Mary Margaret’s farm at three o’clock and he doesn’t want to be late. That would be, in his brother Liam’s words, bad form.
As he drives, he hums along to the songs from his playlist. He chose every song on it because they remind him of Emma. Bloody hell, he has it so bad for her!
When he reaches the farm, he parks beside Emma’s yellow Volkswagen bug and sees that she’s still sitting behind the wheel, looking at her phone. She doesn’t seem to notice that he’s there as he gets out of his car and closes the door. He moves around the back of his car and taps on her window, causing her to startle and look up at him with wide eyes.
Killian could drown in the deep pools of Emma’s gorgeous green eyes.
*********
Emma could drown in the deep pools of Killian’s gorgeous blue eyes.
She’s frankly just so sick and tired of hiding her feelings for him. Her brother urged his friend Killian to move to Storybrooke three years ago when he was getting over a bad breakup. At that time, David told her the Brit needed friends, so that’s what she became. Now, she’s stuck in ‘friend’ mode, but oh, how she wishes she could move into the ‘girlfriend’ category.
At one point, she thought she could get over her feelings for him by dating other guys, but that turned out to be a terrible idea. Neal was a complete imbecile who thought women were inferior beings, and Walsh was an arrogant jerk. She sometimes wonders if she chose to date those two because in the back of her mind she knew that nothing would ever develop with either of them.
Killian Jones is the only man she wants to date, but he has no interest in being in a romantic relationship with her. So she settles for being his friend, because that way, at least she gets to spend plenty of time with him.
Tonight is Mary Margaret and David’s ‘All Things Autumn’ party. It’s highly anticipated by everyone in town and is one of Emma’s favorite nights of the year. For the first few years of the annual event, she sat back and watched as couples competed with each other in numerous events - cornhole, a scavenger hunt, as well as piggyback, wheelbarrow and burlap sack racing. Mary Margaret always tried to get her involved, but Emma was perfectly happy watching, laughing, and keeping score.
Once Killian moved into town, they decided to team up. Emma is even happier to finally be participating. It doesn’t hurt that most of the competitions require physical contact. She also enjoys sitting beside him during the hayride and around the bonfire at the end of the evening.
The best part, in her opinion, is trying to get through the cornfield maze the fastest. The first year she and Killian participated together, they were the winning team. He was so excited, he wrapped her up in a hug and spun her around until they were both dizzy. It was the best feeling in the world.
Now, as he stands outside her car, looking at her with those blue, blue eyes, she’s more than ready to have that feeling again.
*********
“Are you ready, Swan?” Killian asks, stepping back so she can open her car door.
She climbs out and stands in front of him, sliding her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. “I was just studying a diagram of the cornfield maze. I think I’ll be able to mauever us through it in record time.”
“Is that so?” he questions with a teasing grin. “Could you be seeking revenge for last year when Ruby and Victor beat us by fifteen minutes?”
“I still think Mary Margaret led Ruby through the maze before the party that night. There’s no way they could have gotten out that fast,” Emma grouses.
The two of them start walking toward the huge red barn, which is the hub of the autumn-themed festivities. “Why would your sister-in-law show favoritism to Ruby?”
“Because Ruby is her best friend and can talk Mary Margaret into anything. Plus, she knows I wouldn’t cheat.”
“And studying the diagram beforehand isn’t cheating?” Killian asks cheekily.
She gives him a side-eye glare. “That’s called preparation.”
“Is it, indeed?”
“You should be happy your partner prepared so well.”
I’m just happy to be your partner, Killian thinks. Out loud, he says, “You’re the most competitive person I’ve ever met, Swan.”
“If you’re gonna keep making remarks like that, I might have to find a different partner.”
“I meant it as a compliment.”
She rolls her eyes at him, making him grin again. They walk into the barn, where their senses are immediately inundated with the sight of fall decorations, smells from the abundance of food laid out on long tables, and sounds from spooky music coming through speakers and the large crowd already gathered.
Mary Margaret spots them immediately and grabs David’s hand before she heads their way. “Emma! Killian!” she greets exuberantly. “I was afraid you were going to miss the scavenger hunt!”
“I thought it didn’t start until three-thirty,” Emma says. “It’s only three o’clock right now.”
“You have to have something to eat first. Oh, you should try David’s chili! He added a secret ingredient this year.”
“Please don’t tell me it’s nutmeg,” Emma teases. “It might work in his pancakes, but I really don’t think it will work in chili.”
David chuckles. “It’s not nutmeg, and it’s not really that secret. I just used some of the jalapenos Mary Margaret grew in the garden last summer. We canned several jars of them.”
“He dices them up to put in the chili,” Mary Margaret gushes, gazing at David like he discovered a way to live on Mars. “Isn’t that clever?”
“Very clever, Mate,” Killian says quickly, giving a small tug on Emma’s sleeve. He’s pretty sure she is just about to make a sarcastic remark about Mary Margaret’s over-the-top adoration of her husband. Emma looks at him with a smirk and he’s convinced he was correct.
“Well, get yourselves something to eat,” David says. “We have some last minute things to take care of before the games begin.”
“One of them better not be showing Ruby through the corn maze,” Emma grumbles, as the couple walks away.
Killian laughs. “Perhaps we should aspire to keep Ruby within our sight at all times. Will that set your mind at ease, Swan?”
“No, because then we have to look at her hanging all over her new boyfriend, Jefferson. Victor was no catch, but at least he was only about a five on the weirdness scale. This guy is at least a thirteen.”
Killian’s grin couldn’t be much bigger as they head to the tables to load their plates. He’s looking forward to having a fun-filled evening with all of his friends. And with the woman he loves.
Someday soon, he’s going to have to tell her how he feels.
*********
Someday soon, she’s going to have to tell him how she feels.
Seriously, she doesn’t think she’s going to be able to keep pretending much longer, especially when he keeps giving her that heart-stopping smile. Plus, he keeps touching her; just little touches that send shivers up her spine. His palm on the small of her back, a brush of his hand down her arm, fingers combing snarls from her hair, sitting close enough for their thighs to touch.
It’s going to drive her crazy, but she never wants him to stop.
“Swan?”
“Hmm?” she hums.
“Is there something wrong with the food? You’ve hardly eaten a bite.”
She looks down at her plate, her fork hovering over it. He’s right - she hasn’t eaten anything. She has gotten too caught up in her thoughts.
“No, I was just…thinking about the scavenger hunt, I guess.” She scoops up some macaroni and cheese and sticks it in her mouth. After chewing and swallowing, she adds, “I stuck everything I thought could possibly be on the list in my bug today. I swear, if Mary Margaret has tampons on the list again, I’m going to strangle her. That was so embarrassing last year! Especially when Ruby asked if a used one counted.”
Killian nearly chokes on the drink of water he had taken. “I’m sure Mary Margaret won’t make that mistake again,” he says after clearing his throat. “She turned beet red when Ruby asked that question.”
Once everyone is finished eating, the list of items to find is passed out and the hunt begins. There is nothing embarrassing on it this time and Emma is elated that she, in fact, does have a few of the items in her car. She deflates when Belle and Will turn in their completed list just as she and Killian locate the final thing they need, but gets over it quickly when she sees how happy the other couple is to receive the prize of two movie passes.
“Second place isn’t shabby, Swan,” Killian says. “It still earns us two points toward the overall championship.”
They rack up more points by coming in third in cornhole, first in the piggyback race, and second in the wheelbarrow race. They fail to place in the burlap sack race when they get their feet tangled together inside the sack and fall, then are disqualified for trying to roll across the finish line. Emma doesn’t care. She is laughing so hard while laying on top of Killian, who also has tears of laughter running from the corners of his eyes.
Before the final competitive event of the night, everyone loads up on David’s flatbed wagon, lined with bales of straw, then he tows them around the farm. Mary Margaret joins him in the cab of the tractor and turns so she can see her friends enjoying themselves, telling jokes and stories, laughing and cuddling together.
Emma scoots as close as she can to Killian and is thrilled when he drops his arm across her shoulders. She tentatively rests her forearm on his thigh and relaxes when he doesn’t pull away. They remain that way for the rest of the ride.
Emma is content taking in the autumn colors of the leaves lit by the waning rays of sunlight. When one particular maple tree catches her attention - so bright with red and orange leaves, it looks like it’s on fire - she turns to see if Killian is looking at it, too.
He isn’t. His eyes are on her, a soft smile on his lips. She has the distinct feeling he’s been looking at her for a while, instead of enjoying the scenery. “Aren’t the trees beautiful?” she asks.
“Aye, lovely,” he agrees, though he never takes his eyes off of her.
“I love the way the sun makes the colors so vivid. Orange, red…”
“Gold,” he adds, as she feels him sifting strands of her hair through his fingers.
“Killian,” she says with mock exasperation. “You’re not even looking at the trees.”
He blinks rapidly, then pulls his eyes away to look around. Clearing his throat, he says, “Mary Margaret and David are very fortunate to own such a beautiful farm.”
“Yeah, they are. David always wanted to live on a farm when we were growing up.”
They make small talk until the hayride is over. When they disembark, Killian offers her his hand to help her step down, but once her feet are on the ground, he doesn’t let go. She feels his thumb slowly stroking over the back of her hand, sending tingles across her skin.
He’s never held her hand like that before and she feels a sudden rush of hope that maybe he does think of her as more than a friend.
*********
Emma doesn’t pull her hand away from him and he feels a sudden rush of hope that maybe she does think of him as more than a friend.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her during the hayride. The way her golden hair glowed in the light of the sunset was mesmerizing. When she called him out for not noticing the colors of the trees, it was all he could do to focus his attention on them. Their beauty couldn’t compare with hers.
His hope is also fueled by the way she sat so close to him and seemed to enjoy having his arm wrapped around her shoulders. It felt very nice, very natural. It felt like something he would like to do on a regular basis.
As he stands in front of her, he has the overwhelming urge to admit how he feels, but knows it isn’t the right time or place. When that will be, he has no idea. He just knows he is sick and tired of hiding his feelings for her.
His turbulent thoughts are interrupted by David loudly announcing, “There’s only one competition left to determine the winning team. Grab your partner and come get your flashlights for the cornfield maze!”
“Let’s go,” Emma says, tugging on his hand. “It’s time for us to nail down the championship!”
Killian willingly follows behind her, chuckling at her enthusiasm and determination. He’s happy because in this competition, she is a force to be reckoned with and he’s her partner.
Emma grabs a flashlight out of the basket Mary Margaret is carrying and tests it to make sure it works. Then she takes Killian’s hand again and marches them over to the entrance of the cornfield maze. While most of the couples are milling around and chatting, she edges them to the front of the pack so they’ll be one of the first ones to enter the maze.
When David blows the air horn signaling the start, Emma takes off running with Killian on her heels. Everyone is bunched up until they get to the first division in the path. Most of the group, including Emma and Killian, go to the left, while a few couples split off to the right.
At every intersection, the crowd gets slimmer as they make their choice of direction. Before long, the only ones still going down the same path as Emma and Killian are Ruby and Jefferson. Killian shakes his head fondly as he watches the two women elbowing each other, trying to gain an advantage.
Emma looks back at him and he gives her a thumbs up, his heart swelling at the smile she gives him in return.
*********
Emma sees Killian give her a thumbs up and her heart swells, causing her to give him a smile in return, even though they’re in the middle of a fierce competition.
The further they go into the maze, the darker it becomes since the tall corn stalks block out most of the moonlight. The circle of light their flashlight throws off isn’t enough to illuminate more than about a four foot diameter in front of them, which is a little disconcerting.
When they reach another fork in the path, she exchanges a challenging look with Ruby, then grabs Killian’s hand and heads in the opposite direction as the other couple.
“Are you quite sure this is the way to go?” Killian asks.
“When I looked at the diagram, I counted the number of right and left turns. I’m pretty sure this one was supposed to be to the left.”
“I trust your judgment, Swan.”
They walk on for several minutes, making a few more turns. Their pace gradually slows and finally comes to a stop.
“Is something wrong?” Killian asks.
Emma stands stock still, turning her head back and forth. “Do you hear anyone else?”
He cocks his head and listens intently. Then he shakes his head. “I don’t hear anything.”
“That means either we’re way ahead of everyone else or…”
“Or we’re lost?”
She turns to face him. “Yeah. I think we should have turned the same way as Ruby and Jeff back there.”
“We can head back…” he begins.
“No, let’s just keep going. There’s probably more than one way out of here.”
They continue on in silence, except for the crunch of the flattened corn stalks under their feet. At every intersection, they discuss which direction to go. After another ten minutes, Emma comes to a stop. “I think we’re hopelessly lost. I’m sorry, Killian.”
“There’s no reason to be sorry, Emma.”
“I was so sure I could lead us out of this maze before anyone else, but I failed.”
He steps in front of her, his face nearly obscured by shadows. “The night isn’t over yet.”
“Do you really think we can still win?”
He moves a little closer and she tilts the flashlight up so she can see his face more clearly. He is looking at her fixedly, an ambiguous look on his face.
“There’s more than one way to win tonight,” he says quietly.
“Do you have a way to fly out of here or something?”
He chuckles. “No, nothing like that.”
“How can we win, then?”
He takes another step forward and reaches up to cup her face in his hands. She draws in a quick breath, a hopeful thought entering her mind.
Is he going to kiss her?
*********
He’s going to kiss her.
He looks deeply into her eyes, hoping to see acceptance. Even in the dim light, he finds it. She wants this, too.
Leaning in, he tentatively touches his lips to hers once, twice. When he pulls back slightly, she follows him, her lips chasing his. He takes advantage of the opportunity and draws her into her arms to kiss her again. This time, the tentativeness is gone, replaced by eagerness and passion.
Gods, how he’s longed for this day, imagined it so often. And now he knows - reality is so much better. Her lips are pliant, soft and sweet.
He hears her whisper something and murmurs, “What did you say, Love?”
She rests her forehead against his, her breath ghosting over his lips. “It’s about time.”
He pulls away a little, blinking in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?”
“If it’s half as long as I’ve wanted to kiss you, it’s a very long time.”
She gives him that heart-melting smile he loves so much. The one she seems to only give to him. “Do you remember the first year we won the cornfield maze and you picked me up and spun me around?”
“Aye.”
“When you set me down and looked at me, for a second I thought you were going to kiss me. Ever since then, I wished you would.”
His brows shoot up. “That long ago?”
“How long has it been for you?” she asks.
“From the moment I met you.”
Now her brows climb up her forehead. “Seriously? I thought you were getting over a breakup and was only looking to make new friends.”
“I did want to make new friends and wasn’t looking for anyone to date but you…there was just something there…a spark between us. At least, on my part.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m a bloody fool and a coward. Even when I saw you going out with those two wankers, I couldn’t work up the nerve to tell you how I felt. I guess I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same and it would make things awkward between us.”
“I was an idiot to go out with them. I thought if I found someone else, I could get over my feelings for you. It didn’t work.”
“I’m very happy it didn’t.”
“So…what do we do now?” she asks.
“Well,” Killian smirks, swaying her back and forth in his arms, “now I suppose we should find our way out of this bloody maze.”
She wraps her arms more tightly around his neck to pull him closer. “We don’t need to be in any hurry.”
His eyes grow comically wide. “Who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan?”
She playfully slaps the back of his head. “Shut up and kiss me, Jones.”
He happily does as told.
Ruby and Jefferson end up winning the team competition, but Emma and Killian win each other. That is, by far, the sweetest prize of all.
*********
Thank you for reading! Be sure to check out all of the great stories and art in the CSSpookyAutumnalBingo2024 collection on Ao3.
Tagging:
@qualitycoffeethings @grimmswan @cs-rylie @wyntereyez @kmomof4
@hookedmom @ultraluckycatnd @paradiselady19 @xarandomdreamx @motherkatereloyshipper
@lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart @vampcoffeegyrl23 @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic
@eleveneitherway @elfiola @kday426 @julieenchanted-swans @gingerchangeling
@andiirivera @djlbg @jonesfandomfanatic @snowbellewells @anmylica
@booksteaandtoomuchtv @cocohook38 @ilovemesomekillianjones @zaharadessert @lyssapup27
@undercaffinatednightmare @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @xsajx @jackieorioncat
@teamhook @soniccat @jarienn972 @softkilly @kymbersmith-90
@apiratewhopines @hollyethecurious @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate
@caught-in-the-filter @stahlop @veryverynotgoodwrites @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite
@whimsicallyenchantedrose @earanemith @superchocovian @idristardis @captainswan-kellie
@beckettj @killihan-jones
#a fortunate failure#jrob64#spooky/autumnal bingo#cs modern au#friends to lovers#mutual pining#csff#captain swan fanfiction#cs one-shot
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Rocky Horror Halloween CS Spooky Season/ Autumnal Bingo

Here is my second offering for the CS Spooky Season/ Autumnal Bingo Challenge!!! And yes, I'm x-ing out 2 squares on my card with this one, Rocky Horror and Couples Costumes.
Many thanks to @hollyethecurious for coming up with the idea and making the bingo cards, and for settling the grammar argument between me and my beta @jrob64 , even if I lost said argument. Joni also deserves my humble thanks for betaing a fic centered around a movie she's never seen. Thank you both so much ladies!!! Love you both bunches!!!
As you can see above, I now have artwork to add to the fic thanks to the talents of @motherkatereloyshipper !!! I hesitated to ask her for this manip of Snowing to put in the picset because honestly, I thought it would look very weird, but she did it and it looks SO GREAT!!! So please join me in giving her all the love!!!
Summary: Emma and her boyfriend Killian are dragged by their friends to their college's Halloween tradition, a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Rating: T
On ao3 if you prefer.
Words: Approx 1000
Tags: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Halloween Fic, Spooky Season Bingo
Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.
@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615
@donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings
@booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @djlbg
@lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic @anmylica
@laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling @caught-in-the-filter
@ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie
@soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @thisonesatellite
@jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones @mie779
@kymbersmith-90 @suwya @veryverynotgoodwrites @myfearless-love
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
Prompt: Rocky Horror/Couples Costumes
“I cannot believe I let you talk me, us, into this,” Emma grumbled.
“Oh, come on, Emma,” Ruby cajoled, holding on to her boyfriend Victor’s arm as they navigated themselves through the field just outside of their small town. It was littered with blankets and lawn chairs for the Halloween screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
While the families of Storybrooke were trick or treating around the neighborhoods and small businesses of downtown, the small private college sponsored their own Halloween event more suited to the young people who lived at the campus.
“It’ll be fun,” Ruby continued. “Killian has never heard of Rocky Horror, so as his girlfriend, it’s your duty to educate him about it!”
“How can I educate him when I’ve never seen it?” she asked indignantly.
“Exactly,” Ruby answered.
“I’ve got much better things to do with my time than to sit through this completely nonsensical excuse of a Halloween film,” Emma groused.
“As long as I’m spending the evening with you, lass, I’m content,” Killian whispered in her ear, waggling his eyebrows and making her giggle.
“I’ve heard things about this movie over the years,” she replied lowly, so Ruby and the others wouldn’t overhear. “And it’s… somethin’...” The equal parts chagrined and dubious look on her face made Killian wonder exactly what she’d gotten them into.
The group finally found an open space in the field, big enough for their blanket and all the lawn chairs they’d brought with them. They got settled and had just pulled out the dinner provided for them by Ruby’s grandmother, when the MC of the evening got up on the stage.
“Welcome to Storybrooke University’s annual Halloween showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show!” Regina Mills, the president of the Student Government Association announced. While Regina was a great leader of the SGA, a good actress she was not, and Emma had trouble containing her smirk at the obvious distaste her friend had for the yearly event that she had no choice but to continue.
“There are a few ground rules that you should know about,” she continued, as several members of the audience booed, Ruby included. Regina shot their friend an annoyed glare, and then continued with her spiel. “We at the SGA and the faculty of Storybrooke U encourage everyone to have a good time tonight, singing and dancing to the songs and enjoying whatever refreshments you’ve brought for the show. However, if anyone gets too loud and disruptive during the showing, you will be asked to leave. If any couples get too hot and heavy during certain scenes, disturbing the people around you, you’ll be asked to take it inside.”
That brought a round of hoots and hollers from the audience and made Emma wonder if she and her sexy boyfriend might be able to exploit that rule to get out of sitting through the whole movie. The smirk and raised eyebrow on Killian’s face told her that he knew what she was thinking and was wholly in agreement.
“Karaoke mics are over here to my right,” Regina continued, “but to participate on stage, you must be in costume. At the end of the show, costumes and karaoke performances will be judged, with the winner - or winners, in the case of couples - receiving this magnificent trophy, as well as getting free admission to the football game Saturday and $100 in free concessions.”
Cheers broke out from the crowd around them, with Ruby declaring that David and Mary Margaret, dressed up as Brad and Janet, were sure to win. Their costumes were exact replicas of the characters - all the way to Brad’s glasses and plaid bow tie, and Janet’s white hat on top of her red, shoulder length curly hair. Plus, they’d been practicing “Dammit, Janet” for weeks. Ruby and Victor were also dressed up, but Ruby went for a sexy Janet costume while Victor was dressed up as Rocky.
“Everyone enjoy the show!”
Regina finally left the stage and joined their group, cuddling up with her boyfriend Robin next to Emma and Killian. As the movie got started, their group dug into their meals, while David and Mary Margaret hurried to the stage for their song. Emma was thoroughly impressed with how into it they both got. They cavorted across the stage, copying the blocking on the screen and when David got down on one knee, his voice going up into falsetto, Emma and Killian both howled with laughter.
When it was time for the “Time Warp”, their friends coaxed Regina, Emma, and Killian to participate, and once it was over, Emma had to admit, it was rather fun. Ruby and Victor got on stage for “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me” and Emma snuck a glance at Killian to see him looking at her instead of what their friends were getting up to on the stage. Thankfully, the song was over before Regina had to go up there and get them to stop.
Once the movie was over, and the judging was complete, Emma had to admit to having fun at the seasonal event.
“See?” Ruby asked, elbowing her in the side as they packed up. “I told you you’d have fun.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Emma conceded. “But I stand by my statement at the beginning that this was a stupid Halloween movie.”
“Next year,” David began, holding up the trophy he and Mary Margaret won.
“Next year,” Emma interrupted, “Killian and I will do our own thing.”
“And so will Robin and I,” Regina agreed.
“Since you made it all the way through the movie,” Ruby replied, “we’ll grant you clemency next year.”
Killian rolled his eyes at Ruby’s concession. “Your mercy is appreciated, lass.”
He turned to Emma and waggled his eyebrows. “The night is still young, Swan. What say you come back to my place for a nightcap? The movie gave me a few ideas.”
A grin spread across her lips as she grabbed his collar and pulled him to her for a passionate kiss. The whoops and hollers from their friends were hardly noticeable with their heavy, panting breaths when they finally separated.
“Lead the way, Jones,” she whispered.
“As you wish.”
~*~*~
Thank you for reading and sharing! I'd love to hear what you think!! Only one more fic for a bingo, and it'll be very short and sweet, so keep an eye out for it later tonight!!

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"i think it's because it affected accessibility !! a lot of people on cs use it as a safe space, meaning many may have disabilities making it harder to read or understand things. adding pranks that actively change the forums make things less accessible for these people. i understand that it's sad, but it's a big positive for a lot of us on the site" "as an artist, the idea of putting a lot of work into a prank that will only last for 24 hours, between several much more substantial site events, does not spark joy." Okay. Flight Rising stays winning. When the site owners and staff actually enjoy their own site it shows. They put the work in for a toggle over there for their April Fool's pranks so there's no worry about accessibility. Players can easily turn it off if it negatively affects them. This year they put in a little animated glitch dragon that pops up randomly, changed the banner, and wrote nearly a hundred silly dialogue boxes that can show up on every page load. All for only one day.
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Kai no Kiseki - English Summary - Act 2 Rean Route 2
Table of Contents
Grim Garten: Door 4
(Taken Place after Kevin 1 but before Van 2 / Rean 2 / Kevin 2 )
Renne joins the party hearing about what Novartis has been up to. Upon reaching the end of Door 4, the group is surprised to find Jorda and Lucrezia. Jorda says she’s obligated to be here as a member of the Society. Renne and Lucrezia talk saying that they were just ran into each other a bit ago.
Jorda says just because Van helped the day before with 4SPGs doesn’t mean she’ll hold back. Swin tries to ask her about her brother, but Jorda gets annoyed saying it’s none of their business and now she needs to destress. Before the fight begins, Lucrezia asks about Sharon having heard things about her and Rean's relationship, causing confusion amongst all the girls from the CS games.
Towa gets flustered and annoyed, asking for more details. Fie wants to know more, Altina says good grief. Crow says it's probably his influence on Rean. Rean tells everyone that it’s a misunderstanding!!! Aaron asks if Rean is some kind of seducer of women and Renne responds to Aaron saying, looks like it, but he is unaware of it himself. Kevin disappointingly says to Rean to not be worse than Lloyd. Rean tells everyone it’s a mistake!!
Van will also say something but everyone in his group says he's not one to be giving criticism right now. After defeating Lucrezia and and Jorda, they say their job is done and leave.
---
In the Sanctuary, Kevin talks to Towa and Elaine, having heard that they both met Hamilton, and hopes he can meet her too while also talking to himself. Elaine looks confused.
Aaron, Crow, and Bergard talk about the ETWS Orbal bikes that they brought into the Sanctuary. Bergard is surprised that despite Crow and him having the same orbal bike, their customization makes it unique to themselves and the group thinks they should all go an orbal bike tour together after this is all over.
Talking to Van, Judith, Feri, and Rufus. Van talks about how Rufus can use their 4SPG system, but don’t get in his way, and also don’t make him look bad. Feri mentions that during the events of Hajimari, he was actually on the wanted list by the Kruga Tribe. Judith finds it interesting to be talking to a governor who is supposed to be dead. Van also finds it funny and says you know, working together with a former dead governor is very Spriggan of him.
In the Hot Spring area, Agnes, Renne, and Nadia and Swin are in their swimsuit. Nadia will call it a date between her and Swin. Agnes will say it feels weird to be wearing a swimsuit in VR, but Renne says it's fine and that they should take a break and play some volleyball.
Talking to Quatre, Lapis, Altina, and Risette, Quatre will find it weird that Swin is avoiding him and wonders what it could be and if it's his imagination. Lapis will say that she shouldn't say anything to Quatre regarding Hamilton.
---
Rean Act 2
The group visits the Motor Pavilion, where Gotti announces a collaboration between his movie and the energy drink, Maximum Energy. The promoter is Rion in a suit, accompanied by Celis in a recolored version of the Z1 DLC race queen outfits. Celis is visibly embarrassed and wants to die but has to put up with it. Altina finds the suit too revealing, while Crow praises Gotti's work. Fie, familiar with the two Gralsritters, wonders what they're up to.
Elsewhere, they run into Mint, Esmeray, and Lila having a conversation. Mint suggests that after everything is over, Esmeray could visit the Empire or Liberl for a drink. When Rean joins them, Lila reintroduces herself as the ZCF liaison on behalf of Liberl and shares that she’s involved in the space program, exchanging information with Mint and Esmeray.
At the Old Town Inn (Quarry), the group encounters Commander General Harling and Emilia. Emilia offers to treat them after her public display of affection with Rean and Crow.
During the conversation, Harling shares that he never wanted Emilia to join the military, but she did anyway, eventually rising to become an ace pilot before being injured and discharged during the Great War. Crow asks about her future plans, and Emilia responds that she has some, pending military approval. Harling jokes that she should take it up with the Military Affairs, not him. The group observes the strong bond between the Harlings as father and daughter.
Harling hints this might be the last time he sees Emilia, depending on future events. When asked about this, Emilia mentions that the space launch is challenging and likens it to an "S difficulty" similar to her Orbal Bike racing. She also knows a surprising amount about Crow’s role as a “free contractor” in the Free Cities, hinting that he’s more like a Spriggan than a Bracer.
Crow is impressed and asks if Harling also knows about his past. Harling responds that his issues are with the Empire, not Calvard. Rean asks about the chances of the rocket launch’s success, and Emilia tells him not to worry; she’s got it covered because Rean made this all possible with the possibility he's given them (CS4). The group is left speechless as the conversation ends because of how cryptic it sounds.
Speaking to Emilia afterward reveals that Shizuna might have taught Emilia how to pilot her Excalibur AF, which explains why Rean had trouble fighting her, though Emilia doesn’t directly confirm this.
Talking to Emilia a SECOND time (because seriously who does that?), Emilia will ask out Crow saying they should team up after she retires, and thinks that a Courier and a Freelance (Free Contractor) has a nice ring to it, and that Crow is into older women so therefore she fits the bill. Crow takes her up on it, leaving Towa flabbergasted.
At the Basel Institute of Science, Professor Cronkite is seen giving the updated information to Kincaid. When the group stop by, Cronkite mentions returning to the Zeku Base, and Kincaid says he’s staying in Basel for a little bit longer to investigate a matter.
Talking to Kincaid will reveal that he knows that the group intends to go to the Observatory, so they should just take it easy and also remember that they’re invited to the Capital to see the launch.
Talking to Cronkite afterward will have him tell the group that their operational data will be crucial to helping the Excalibur succeed in the Startaker Project.
----
4SPG: Red Star Orbal Bike Issues
A man named Tao Min requests help from the 4SPG, specifically Rean and his group, knowing they have experience with Orbal Bikes. He reports issues with the new Red Star Orbal Bike demo. Rean and Crow take the bike out for a test drive with Crow’s ETWS as backup. After failing to find the problem initially, they run into Emilia on her own Orbal Bike, and the three decide to race. When Rean tries to match Emilia’s speed, the Red Star suddenly stops. Emilia deduces it’s a safety limiter triggered by overly cautious settings that cause the bike to shut down with minimal strain.
Armed with this knowledge, Rean and Crow return to Tao Min and question Honley, the mechanic, about the tampering. Honley admits he did it because he couldn’t accept the company’s new direction, which prioritizes speed and acrobatics over safety. Tao Min is forced to report Honley but asks Rean and the group for advice.
Honley turns himself in.
Cover it up.
Choosing the second option has Crow propose framing the incident as a field test gone wrong, allowing Honley to keep his job.
---
4SPG: CEO Tausend
Tausend is facing rumors, and a company employee asks Rean to investigate an incriminating photo. The rumors suggest Tausend has ties with the mafia after being photographed with a shady figure. Altina points out that the photo must have been taken by someone with insider knowledge, narrowing down the suspects.
Another employee reveals audio leaks of Tausend, which include suspicious conversations and possible sexual harassment. Altina believes the recording has been edited due to its choppy quality. The third rumor involves Tausend entering a hotel with a woman.
Rean, skeptical of these rumors, asks Towa to contact Tausend directly. They find Tausend at the Basel Institute of Science, talking with Giscard and Prince Sherid. Tausend explains that Professor Hamilton advocated for his return, and he’s trying to live up to her expectations without repeating past mistakes. When Rean questions Tausend privately about the rumors, Tausend clarifies the situation. The woman outside the hotel was a job applicant, and the hotel in the background was a coincidence. The "mafia man" was actually a trading company representative who wore sunglasses due to sun sensitivity. The third audio recording was a conversation with Secretary Cohen, who started the 4SPG.
Confronting Cohen reveals that he believed the previous director, not Tausend, should have remained in charge. Cohen doesn’t trust Tausend with the company’s future. Tausend gives a speech about learning from his mistakes and asks Rean how he would handle the situation, noting that Arkride used to offer advice. Choosing the second option leads Tausend to include the previous director on the board committee.
---
Connect Event: Towa
Towa leads a remote class, with Rean assisting as part of the Thors curriculum. She teaches astronomy, sparking the students' curiosity about her club. Rean attempts to help answer the students’ questions, but the connection drops. Towa quickly fixes the issue, discovering that over 200 people had joined the session to see her and Rean. The female teachers jokingly ask if Towa and Rean are staying in the same hotel room, hinting at a romantic relationship. The male students call it "office love" and express jealousy. Rean shuts them down by threatening to increase their workload if they don’t stay on topic.
After the session, Rean and Towa talk about how remote classes present unique challenges. Rean asks why she wants to visit the Observatory, and Towa explains that stargazing has changed with technological advancements. She also wants to learn more about her grandfather, a pioneer in astrology.
---
Connect Event: Crow
Rean and Crow grab drinks and talk about Crow’s new life as a Free Contractor. Crow explains that he handles tasks the private sector isn’t equipped to manage, which makes Rean think of him as an “Underground Solver” (Spriggan’s technical kanji). The conversation shifts to Rean’s life as an instructor. Rean admits he’s been juggling responsibilities between the branch and main campus, relying on Kurt, Ash, and other Class VII members for support. Crow suggests organizing a “guy’s hangout” and inviting some girls, but Rean sighs at the idea.
Crow suddenly remembers he was supposed to be sports betting, and jokingly suggests they visit a casino or night club in Edith. Rean questions the appropriateness of such activities during a business trip, but Crow insists. As Crow plots to trick Towa, the girls suddenly appear, much like a dramatic movie entrance. Crow asks for permission to visit the night club, offering the prospect of males dancing at the pole to entice them. The girls decline, planning to pick them up later for the Observatory visit.
Connect Event: Altina and Fie
Rean, Fie, and Altina stop by Professor Hamilton’s house, curious about the Engadin Cake they received earlier that morning and eager to learn how to make it so they can share it with their friends back in the Empire. Altina takes charge of whisking the dough, but when Esmeray suggests that thinking of the person who will eat the cake makes it taste better, Altina is puzzled, finding the sentiment illogical.
Moving on to the next step, they prepare the cream, which Esmeray explains is made from the milk of cows raised in the highlands surrounding Basel. After baking the cake, they sit down to enjoy it, and Altina comments that with each bite, she feels as if her heart warms a little more. Grateful, the group thanks Esmeray for teaching them the recipe. Altina mentions that Millium will love the cake, while Fie adds that Laura, Emma, and Alisa would also appreciate it.
Afterward, the group outside of Hamilton's house say that they should all reunite with their friends back in the Empire.
----
At the Observatory, they run into Mint again. Upon entering, they are greeted with the high-functioning telescope Aqueos II. Near the PC is the manual and notes left behind by Professor Hamilton for Towa regarding her grandfather’s research. Mint cheekily gets first dibs on looking through the telescope, but Altina acts like a child and demands that since she’s younger, she should get to see first. She runs up the stairs while Rean remarks that Altina is still a kid in many ways. Crow thinks that’s fine, considering her Black Rabbit days.
Once upstairs, Mint demands that “Al-chi” give back the telescope. Altina, ignoring the nickname, says she has no idea who Mint is talking about. The group then asks Rean to look into the telescope, telling him it’s an unbelievable sight.
Excited, he tries, but instead of the beautiful starry sky, his vision is filled with a black void that glitches out. Rean, confused, says he can’t see anything. Mint takes another look, thinking Rean is messing with them, but when he tries again, he sees something in the distance. Crow also looks into the telescope but sees nothing, both of them catching quick glimpses of the CS4 Normal Ending stock photos.
The group is called by Rion and Celis, who hide their identities, but request a meeting with Rean about the sky. They tell him to meet up, limited by circumstances.
--
In free-roaming mode, depending on the party's main character, Fie and Altina can see the stars, but Crow and Rean cannot.
--
At the Church, Rion introduces himself, explaining that they don’t have access to the University due to clearance issues. Fie calls it nonsense, saying something so trivial wouldn’t stop them from trespassing. Rion and Celis then introduce themselves, mentioning they helped with the Babel Incident, although offscreen. Rean, familiar with their feats, refers to them as the Scarlet Blaze and Frozen Flame.
Celis cringes at Rean for actually saying it. Fie teases Celis, saying her Z1 outfit is a good change of pace, while Crow compliments the way the way the leotard is cut accentuates her hips and waist. Celis gets flustered.
Back to the matter at hand, Rion explains that the Gralsritter and other Church sects merged after the Pope (who turns out to be female this entire time, WHAT) introduced a significant figure in April: Nina. This individual has the highest authority, shocking everyone with what she had to say. The group realizes this is all related to the space program.
The group realize that this must all be related to the space program. The groups join together to go back to the observatory. At the observatory, Mint instantly recognized as the erotic campaign girl and Rion as the promoter. Celis gets flustered saying she’s not erotic and also how does Mint even know that.
The group discusses why Rean and Crow see only a hollow void while the others see stars, leading them to question what powers the telescope: the Aurora. Though it doesn’t make sense there’s already an Aurora that exists so this must be a different one. And also, since all imagery is processed by that computational unit, the discrepancy doesn’t make sense for why Rean and Crow sees something different. Mint mentions that the entrance to the underground power source is hidden in the walls, but she can’t figure out which one, to everyone's annoyance after her initial smart-sounding deduction.
After solving the puzzle, the group enters a long hallway not documented in the Institute’s schematics. It leads to a creepy workshop ruin, where Central Eastern and Medieval technology are combined and guarded by Demi Grendel Weisses. After defeating them, the group finds the White Genesis from Act 1, powered by Kevin 1. They also find a Hollow Core AI called EOS, which has more human-like responses than other Hollow Cores. However, EOS cannot provide answers about its creation or purpose. The terminal, Aurora-Alba, is a duplicate of another Aurora, and both EOS and Aurora were installed on September 1st, 1206. Altina is suspicious of how a Hollow Core AI can interact with Alba, as the Xipha standard wasn’t a thing back then.
The group asks EOS how long it and its predecessors, the Kappels, have been operational, and the answer surprises them: since Septian Year 1189, meaning it’s been in operation for 20 years, just like Tharbad. EOS refuses to answer any more questions. Rean then asks it to hypothesize what he and Crow saw in the skies that the others did not. Everyone finds it clever that Rean is trying to bypass the security protocols. EOS replies with three possibilities:
They are giving it false information.
The system line was hacked, showing a different image when Rean and Crow looked.
It’s possible that only Rean and Crow are capable of seeing the truth, while everyone else sees something else.
While the group finds the third possibility absurd, Rean and Crow give it some thought. Rean and Crow explain to Mint, who wasn’t around during the Babel Tower events, that there was a resonance with an entity "calculated" and "simulated" from another possible ending (CS4 Normal Ending).
Towa realizes it might be similar to the constant loops in Kuro 2. Crow suggests that this "ending" might not have been a dream but something that truly happened.
(This is huge because in story, it was kind of always written as a calculation, but now it’s framed as another timeline.)
Fie then explains that the Eighth Genesis can discard unwanted results, saving those into the final observational results, and Elaine had heard about it from Dingo.
Rean adds that Lloyd experienced something similar and wonders if all these resets are part of the same phenomenon. He recalls that in this other “ending,” it was him, Millium, and Crow.
As Crow tries to explain what they saw, Shizuna interrupts, appearing alongside Kincaid and Ashladd. Crow asks if Shizuna is the secret Senior Sis Disciple Rean had mentioned, but Rean clarifies he might be Yun Ka-Fai’s hidden disciple. Shizuna corrects him, stating she’s the true secret disciple and hasn’t seen Rean in nearly a year and a half.
Ashladd introduces himself, saying it’s a pleasure to meet the Thors group and pointing out that they've been misled by troublesome individuals, referring to Celis and Rion. Kincaid attempts to detain Rean and the others for snooping, but Fie argues they have permission from Hamilton to use the Observatory, making Kincaid the trespasser. Kincaid doesn’t deny it, but he threatens to cancel their plans to go to the Capital and relocate them far away. Crow and Altina ask EOS to gather all data related to the third possibility and save it to the connected device. Rean and Shizuna engage in battle to buy time.
During the fight, Shizuna will mention to have a continuation of the fight they had on the road to Kunlun with Rean.
After the fight, Shizuna notes that she’s taken the beating quite well and has absorbed everyone’s feelings into her flesh and blood.
Rean wonders how is it possible that she lacks that drive, but her and her sword have reached to such heights and wonders what in the hell did Yun Ka-Fai teach her. She says it’s nothing special, just to help aid the world from being destroyed.
Shizuna also explains that Chitose, originally the Dark Blade Nayuta, has been passed down through generations. She challenges Rean, telling him to overcome her and forge a new tachi. Her blade activates, and she declares that the “crow’s cries” (Akegarasu, her sword's current name) of her tachi has awakened. Though it’s two days early, she invites Rean to fight with all they’ve got.
Just as Rean and Shizuna are about to clash again, EOS interrupts, announcing the file saving is complete. They grab the laptop. Realizing his mistake, Kincaid calls for reinforcements, as do Ashladd and Kurogane. EOS then reveals that the White Genesis is actually an "Alter Core," though details are prohibited. It also explains that the stars in the sky are a lie, unable to calculate beyond the "canopy." Everyone is shocked by this revelation, especially Ashladd, who is saddened by the "deception" that has been in place all this time. Rean concludes that this must be what the “other us” saw.
Towa also realized that the Zeku Space Base must be based off the word 是空 (Zekuu - Absolute Void)
Kincaid declares that Rean and the others are now maximum threats for discovering such valuable information. Mint uses her Septian Gems, given to her offscreen by Prince Sherid, to summon him as a distraction. Sherid cancels his attendance at the capital for the rocket launch, offering the group an escape by telling Rean and Crow to call upon their Tyrfing X and S, which are connected via the Septium Veins.
As Rean escapes, Shizuna relays a message from Yun Ka-Fai, telling Rean that he’ll be waiting for him at the Land of Kaiten.
Aboard the Haurvatat, the group is reunited with Gotti and Lila, who are also tied into the conspiracy. Celis is annoyed that Gotti is now on their side.
Back at the Workshop Ruins, Ashladd acknowledges that though they failed to capture Celis and Rion, their mission remains unchanged. They plan to rendezvous with the Fifth (Kevin) regarding their target. Kincaid orders an APB for Latoya Hamilton, stating her crimes are far greater, as she is suspected of deceiving the entire world with the device connected to the Aurora Alba.
----
Author Notes:
So far we know that Hamilton has been planning something for nearly 20 years.
Using One Alter Core to revive Tharbad from collapse by giving it water and affecting causality.
And now, it's been revealed that she's used an Alter Core with the Aurora Alba to effectively create an illusion of a fake sky filled with stars.
Also... this void was actually mentioned in Reverie!
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wildfire (cs) | fifteen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 6.6k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, changes are happening??, namjoon again to the rescue, a bit of distant san 😔, a bit of yearning san ❤️🩹, alcohol consumption & intoxication, a very small kiss that was accidental and meant absolutely nothing, these two just 😞 over each other, some crying

—on rotation: next to you - bryson tiller | i'll be alright (tonight) - mura masa

Two months have passed, closer to 3, and you've been busy working your ass off in Namjoon's lab. You've brainstormed and came up with a project that Namjoon approved, giving you all the resources and space you needed to get started. You've also been working alongside a few people in the lab since their project was relatable to yours, finding guidance and a little bit of training and support to carry your project forward. It's been busy, and it's been a good busy.
It's been good enough to keep your mind off of San.
For the most part.
You could only avoid him so many times, and it's not like the ache you felt deep in your chest, your stomach, went away. It still lingers, and it still hits you from time to time.
And it doesn't make it any easier when you get reminders.
Like meeting San's eyes across campus— only for him to break loose and shift his attention elsewhere.
The shift is a harsh, cold reminder that this may actually be over for good.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey." Sunwoo says, gently nudging you. "You okay? Haven't seen you in awhile?" You nod, half smiling before looking down at your laptop.
"Was busy." You chuckle a bit. "Was working on the fine details of my rotation presentation, along with all the data analysis we worked on." You give him a small smile. "I came to clean out the last bits of my stuff."
"It'll all blow over." He says with a reassuring smile. "For the record, I don't think it really matters but I know Professor Kim is just trying to keep everything together before it all blows up again."
"Guessing the whole world knows now?" He shrugs.
"Maybe, maybe not. I haven't heard much lately, but you know me, I don't like to meddle in things like that in general. I keep outta that shit."
"People must think greatly of me." He chuckles.
"It doesn't matter what they think. In any case, you are a good person, you're super sweet and super smart. If they choose to fix on that, that's their issue."
"Thanks, Sunwoo." You look at him. "I'm sorry I won't be able to help you after this."
"That's okay. We'll still hang out and I'm sure we'll cross paths more before I finish up here. Plus, I love Professor Choi but having Professor Kim take you under his wing is fucking sick." You laugh, playfully shoving him.
"I don't know where this will take me, but I hope it works out."
"Are you two.. still a thing? Secret's safe with me. For real."
"I know. But, no."
"I don't know the ins and outs of what happened between you and Professor Choi, but I'm sure he did it for good reason. To also protect you."
"Yeah, maybe. Who knows anymore." You sigh. "Anyway. Gotta head out to do my rotation presentation."
"Goodluck. It'll be all good." Sunwoo gives you a small smile. "Text or call me? Let's get lunch on a weekly basis or something to catch up."
"Yeah, I will. Thanks for everything, Sunwoo."
"Nah, thank you. You really helped my ass out." You laugh and playfully ruffle his hair.
"I'll see you around." You gather your things and let out a shaky sigh as you head out. You're hauling your main bag, and another tote bag that has the rest of your things from your desk. You head over to the small auditorium that Namjoon booked for your rotation presentation, giving yourself some wiggle room to set up and get situated before the three would arrive.
Too bad someone else also had the same plan.
You waltz into the room and head straight for the podium, setting your things down onto a chair in the front row. You grab your laptop and settle at the front, eyes shooting up at the door when you hear footsteps approach the entrance.
And of course it would be San.
He slowly trails in with Namjoon next to him; except, Namjoon turns to speak with a student that stopped him right by the entrance. San is in his black dress pants, white shirt and a black leather jacket. His boots are leaving sounds with every step he takes, watch gleaming on his wrist. He meets your eyes and you instantly freeze— shifting your attention back to your laptop because you don't know what the hell else to do. He doesn't say anything as he heads down the aisle and to the front row, his greeting almost sounding dull.
Forced, even.
"Y/N."
"Professor Choi." The awkwardness and the tension fills the room, and you can't help but notice how awfully clammy your hands are getting. How nervous you feel yourself getting. "How are you?"
"Good." Is all he says before plopping into seat in front while you continue to work with the AV system to get your presentation up on the screen.
"That's good." You reply without looking at him. He feels cold and so standoff-ish— it's hard to tell if he's doing this because he has to or because he actually means it. Was he really done with you? "Hope the presentation's okay." You mumble lightly. San catches on, but he continues to scroll through his phone to distract himself until Namjoon finally walks in.
"Sure you'll be fine." And it sucks. Maybe he does mean it. He doesn't say anything else, and he doesn't reassure you the way he usually does. For San, it's a front. He has to distance himself or else he'll cave. For you, it hurts nonetheless.
"Sorry! Got caught up. The dean's on his way." Namjoon pops in and sits next to San in the front row. "All good, Y/N? Do you need help with setting anything else up?"
"No, I think I got it. Thank you." You smile at him and he nods.
"Course."
"Alright, let's get this going. Sorry for the small wait." The dean comes in last, taking a seat by the two. "Hi Y/N, hope you're doing okay."
"Think so." You chuckle a bit. "Well, I'll get started if there aren't any objections?" They shake their heads. "Great." You nervously respond while Namjoon and the dean give you a small smile.
San doesn't even maintain eye contact with you.
But, it's only because it's the hardest thing to suppress his feelings for you whenever you're in front of him and he can't exactly have you like he used to.
—END
"Yo!" Jiung waves, shifting your attention towards him across the lawn. You give him a small smile, stopping in your motions to wait for him to cross over. To your left is San, patiently waiting for Zara to walk over to him. You can't help but watch; the two only a couple of feet away, their voices slightly echoing around the courtyard.
His hand hovering the small of her back as they enter the Harvey Building together.
To this day, you can still feel your heart physically drop to your gut. You're not sure when it'll pass, but you hope it's soon. You're so tired of feeling this way.
So, so tired.
"Hey." You give Jiung a tiny smile as you hug your books against your chest.
"Whattup?" It took awhile for you and Jiung to get back to normal. You always knew you would, but you needed a little more time to understand his side of things. For awhile, you were angry and hurt. All you could see was red. All you could see was Jiung openly going behind your back to talk to Professor Kim about something he didn't know anything about.
You saw the surface level.
But, as time went on, and as your hurt continued to settle into something you just needed to accept, you understood Jiung a little more. You knew he had always cared about you and you knew he was always protective of you. You knew there wasn't any ill intention behind his actions. And when you two finally came together to talk about it more maturely, you've seen that Jiung had been more understanding of your side, too. He apologized for having gotten in the middle, but he did everything out of care for you and protection. It's clearer now that the relationship you had with San wasn't just any relationship— he saw you cry, and cry, and cry. Wondering where you went wrong or what you could've done to be more careful, to prevent this from happening. He saw the look in your eyes, the way your body physically called and yearned for San's touch and love; he knew this wasn't any of those cases of power imbalance or a one-sided relationship. He felt stupid having needed time to marinate on the whole thing when he should've known you better. But, he could truly say he acted in fear and felt better to err on the side of caution.
He just wished it didn't have to end like this; with you, sad and alone. Feeling like all of it was just too good to be true, a fleeting moment.
A quick chapter in your book.
He gets that now.
When he sees San walking around, he almost feels the same energy, aura, that he feels when he sees you. It's just too bad he can't help. Even if he did, he finds it better to no longer meddle.
Maybe it'll bring you two back together again. When the time is right.
"Nothing. I just need to get some stuff together before I meet with Professor Kim in a bit."
"Nervous?"
"No, not really." You shake your head. "Things have been going well for the most part, minus little hiccups. He wanted to talk about other programs and opportunities he found fitting for me."
"Huh." Jiung cocks a brow up. "More collaborations he wants you involved in, I'm assuming." You shrug.
"If it is, I'm for it. Just hope it doesn't take up my entire schedule completely." You chuckle.
"It'll be good either way!"
"Yeah, I know. It's been good. I have no complaints." You shiver from the breeze that's picking up, digging your face deeper into the scarf you have on.
"Did you hear? There's supposed to be a random storm coming soon. Spring weather, amirite?"
"I heard."
"Are you gonna head home? You should try and head home if you can. Who knows what it'll bring here."
"I don't know. I do need to catch up on some data analysis or else I'll be behind." You pause. "Dunno if I trust myself to work productively at home. We have backup generators, right?"
"I mean, yeah. But, what if it goes out? Then, what?"
"Yeah, I don't know. Let's hope that's not one of these cases." You stop in front of the Panama Building and turn to Jiung.
"Lunch later?" You nod.
"Might be a little late. I'll text you when I'm wrapping up?"
"Sounds good. We'll wait for you."
"See you later." You wave before heading inside the building, shimmying off the cold once you step inside and try to warm yourself up. You head down to the lab, setting your things down on your desk before immediately getting started on your work for the day. You try to pace yourself and plan out your tasks well so that you're able to step out for your meeting with Professor Kim and grab lunch with your friends in a few hours.
It's busy, and time flies. Busy is good. At least your mind is occupied with other pressing matters.
Time slips by so quickly you're almost running late to your meeting with Professor Kim. You put a pause in your current run for behavior, grabbing your laptop and a notebook before darting up to Professor Kim's office. You power-walk down the familiar hallway before finally reaching his open door, finding him occupied at his desk.
"Hey!" Namjoon smiles when you walk into his office and plop down in the chair. "Give me a second, just finishing up this email."
"All good." You chuckle. "Sorry I'm a few minutes late. Was running behavior."
"No worries, I figured. Get comfortable." You plop onto the seat in front of his desk, watching as his fingers move swiftly on the keyboard before he navigates to the mouse and clears his throat. "Okay! All good." He laughs a bit. "How's it going?"
"Good! Pretty busy per usual."
"Good busy, I suppose?"
"Yes, good busy. It's been productive. Days are going by quick. I've got some really promising data for this cohort and I think you might be happy with it."
"I'm happy with any progress." You laugh. "That sounds great! Any other ideas? Any other plans at the moment?"
"Well, I'm not sure yet. As long as I'm on the right path, I think there are other avenues I can explore if the results continue to trend upwards."
"Then, let's explore when we get there. I know you'll continue to do great work, and the results look promising. It all looks promising."
"Thank you, Professor Kim."
"There is something else I wanted to talk to you about." You cock a brow up and tilt your head to the side.
"Sure. I'm all ears."
"Professor Qi from the Mirae Biomedical Institute contacted me the other day. She was really impressed by your symposium presentation and the work you've done in Professor Choi's lab and mine. She thinks you'd be a great asset in their program, especially since she's starting a new clinical research study that I also agree you'd contribute well to. It's a study examining neural activity and behavioral patterns in individuals with conditions like bipolar disorder, anxiety, and OCD, etc. You get the gist. A lot of your work is relatable and can be used to push this study forward."
"Oh my god, wow." You respond in disbelief, shock, even. You didn't think anyone was really paying attention to your work like that, especially with what has happened. You kinda felt like a lost cause even though nothing entirely catastrophic has happened. "I was not expecting that."
"Why not?" Namjoon laughs. "You deserve the credit. What do you think about it?"
"I'm really honored, truly. I think it's a great opportunity."
"It is. Not a lot of people get recruited this way, especially with a research assistant position included in the package." You nod silently, still trying to take it in. "Now, if you do want to move forward, it does mean we'll have to get your transfer application in ASAP. They do offer housing assistance should you need it, and they're willing to help cover any other expenses until you settle."
"Right, transferring." You look down at your palms. Truthfully, Mirae wasn't that far from here; it'd be about 2 hours out, but you could easily get there by a drive down the less busier highway or the bullet train.
You'd have to make that effort to see your friends, meet halfway.
San comes into your head.
"I know it's a bit scary, you've already gotten accustomed to things here even if it's just been your first year. But, luckily, it's not that far away and you can always meet your friends halfway. The train can connect you to campus and back." He tries to reassure you because he really wants you to take this. Of course, he can't force you, but he knows this would be beneficial to your growth.
"Yeah, I know. It's not that bad."
"It's not. Plus, you guys all drive, right?" You nod.
"When do I have to get my transfer application in?" Namjoon pulls up the information on his desktop and lets out a small sigh.
"In two weeks. We can get that done. I can write up a letter of recommendation for you and have Professors Choi and Bahng do one each." He looks at you. "Do you feel comfortable asking Professor Jeong for one since you TA'd for him? It's not entirely necessary, but wanted to see how you felt."
"Um, to be honest, not really." He nods.
"That's fine. We don't need it. Us three should be more than enough." He gives you a tiny smile. "Think you can get a personal statement and everything else together by then?"
"Yeah, I think so. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle."
"I can help with official transcripts, too."
"That sounds great." Your expression is blank and Namjoon tilts his head to try and get a read from you.
"Why the face?"
"I truthfully didn't think I was qualified or that anyone was really paying attention." Namjoon chuckles a bit.
"Listen, your grades are fantastic. The work you do is incredible. I fully think you are capable of handling all the ins and outs of this transfer and transitioning over." Namjoon smiles. "The program isn't too different from ours, but it will definitely offer you a lot of different options and pathways with the clinical study picking up."
"It's alot, and I'm grateful you believe in me. I just don't know if I can handle it. The changes."
"Don't second-guess yourself, okay? You are more than capable. It won't be much different from what you're already doing. Just a 'lil more umph. More seasoning, if you will."
"You think so?" He nods.
"You'll still focus on research, but you'll be split between classes and eventually, the hospital. Unfortunately, that does probably mean there is some weekend work in store for you." You let out a breath, eyes still on Professor Kim. He lets out another laugh [of endearment] and nods, clasping his hands together. "I know that look. I've been there before, but trust me. You'll do amazing, and you'll excel, no doubt. You shouldn't restrict yourself just because you assume you won't do well. Your work and ethic has proved otherwise."
"Thank you, Professor Kim. I think I do wanna move forward with this."
"Cool, then we can work together and get you set up. I'll loop you into an email with her so we can all chat and finalize this. Hopefully before the week ends." You nod.
"And I mean it, by the way." You pause. "Thank you for everything. For supporting me and pushing me forward regardless of everything that's happened."
"You're welcome. I would never let that define you." You give him a small smile, fiddling with your laptop sleeve— dying to ask him about the one person that has been occupying your mind the most. "You okay otherwise?"
"Yeah, I think so. Just thought about some things, but nothing important."
"He's doing okay." Namjoon gives you a tiny smile.
"I— huh? How'd you know I was—"
"Because I just do. He asks about you, too."
"Oh." Is all you say, swallowing the thick lump forming in your throat. "Well, I'm glad he's okay."
"Him and Professor Choi #2 received approval for their joint program, so they'll be getting the real estate they wanted in the new building."
"That's amazing. I'm glad it all worked out." Namjoon nods.
"Anything else I can do for you in the meantime?"
"No, that's it. For now. I'm sure more things will come up when we meet next."
"Sounds good. Well, you let me know if anything comes up or if I can do anything else for you."
"Thanks, Professor Kim." You give him one last smile before grabbing your things and heading out the door.
And the rest of your day is pretty eventful, but not as eventful as San's turns out to be.
While you busy yourself with your new classes, lab work and hanging out with your friends, San is having to force himself to go out with his own group. For awhile, he kinda sulked. Stayed home, did his own thing. Kept quiet. But, it got old to Jongho [and the rest of them] quick— hence, now he's being forced to leave the comfort of his home.
He guesses he could use the fresh air, the night out. It is Mingi's birthday, so he doesn't think he could've said no otherwise.
"Ayo!" Jongho calls out as he enters San's house, twirling the key around his finger as he waits for San's response.
"I told you I'd be fine driving." San slowly comes down his steps, dressed in a simple tee, jeans and a bomber jacket.
"Okay, miss attitude." Jongho laughs. "I'm trying to make it easier so you don't have to worry about parking and what not." San sighs.
"Thanks." He shrugs. "Do I look okay? Not that it matters."
"Can you at least try to be somewhat happy? Especially when we see Mingi later?"
"I'm sorry, I really am trying. Just kinda hard to."
"I know, and I truly think you could use this night to get your mind off of things. It's been some time, give yourself a little break." Jongho nudges him.
"Yeah, yeah. You're right." San gives him a small smile.
"Things will get better, but you gotta stop sulking about it or else you'll just keep enforcing this negativity to come for you."
"Wow, that's the deepest shit I've ever heard from you."
"And it won't come again, so fucking take it or leave it." San laughs a bit and shakes his head.
"Can we go? Before I change my mind and tell Mingi I'm sick or something."
"Hell no." Jongho starts power-walking to his car, making San take his time as he checks around the living room and kitchen once more before locking up and slipping into the passenger's seat. San slouches in his seat while Jongho drives off towards the busy downtown area, scrolling through the new group chat created for Mingi's birthday to catch up.
"They're all there already."
"Yeah, well. They wanted a head start."
"I thought Zara wasn't coming."
"She wasn't, but I think her initial plans ended up getting canceled."
"I see." San sighs and rests his head back against the head rest. The bar is ways away from campus, thankfully. It's a new bar that just opened a month ago, and Mingi's birthday was the perfect excuse for everyone to get together for a night and relieve some stress. When Jongho arrives at their destination, he's having to park down the block due to how crazy busy the area is tonight. It's a chilly night, and San has to tuck his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket to try and keep himself warm on the walk. When they enter, they see familiar faces near the back wall of the bar, Mingi's loud voice radiating towards the entrance.
"My fucking boys!" He says, already intoxicated. He pulls San and Jongho into a hug before the two start greeting the group properly.
"Hey. I didn't think you were coming." San says, pulling Zara into a hug. She's got on a jeans, high heeled boots and an off-the shoulder sweater on. She's got a bit more makeup on tonight— she's gone for the natural blush kinda look. San is not gonna lie, she looks good.
But, she will never be you.
"Yeah, plans got canceled and I was already dressed so, figured I'd make use of the outfit somehow." San chuckles a bit.
"Glad you were able to." He gives her a small smile before greeting the rest of the crew that was there, including Namjoon.
The night starts off pretty chill for San. He's taken a few shots to try and keep up with Mingi, no longer wanting to hear him complain about how no one wanted to take shots for his birthday. After the third, he tries to slow it down and cashes in for a small can of beer while Mingi continues on with spreading the love throughout the group by passing out more shots. The music is right up everyone's ally, making most of their group bounce along to the beats and sing along loudly. San's got himself next to Zara at the booth— both of them sipping on their poison for the rest of the night.
"So, San." She turns to him, her chin resting on the palm of her hand. "How's everything going?" San looks at her and despite the blush she's wearing, he can tell her cheeks are naturally flushing red at the question, at being tipsy. At the fact that she has him alone.
Because you aren't around.
"Good. Super busy, but good." San is pretty drunk, not gonna lie. He doesn't normally drink like this, but he figured he'd just enjoy himself while around his bestfriends. The beer obviously isn't helping his case, but he believes he'll be fine. He doesn't think anything will come out of this anyway. "Heard you've secured some new funding and you've got three more grad students."
"I did, yeah."
"Congrats." San smiles at her before gently tapping his beer can against her cocktail glass.
"What's new with you? We haven't been able to catch up for a bit."
"Yeah, sorry. It's just— it's been a rollercoaster."
"I bet." Zara sips on her drink. There's a slight pause before she's tracing the rim of her glass, then speaking up again. "I'm sorry about everything that's happened." San looks at her. They're sitting in close proximity; enough for San to feel her arm rub against him whenever she moves, her body heat.
"You don't have to be sorry for anything." He gives her a small smile. "It is what it is. Things are pretty stable now."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"So, are you not seeing her anymore?" San takes a big gulp of his beer while keeping his eyes trained on the crowd in front of him. Her.
You always come back in the picture.
"No."
"I'm sorry."
"All good. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." Zara looks up at him and they meet eyes for a moment. To her, the tension feels thick. But to San, he's just going with the motions. He's drunk, she's pretty, he's chillin'. Nothing more to it. But, she looks at him in a certain way and it has him slightly furrowing his brows when he tilts his head to look at her a little more, a little deeper.
"I'm sure it hasn't been easy." Her eyes are moving down to his nose, to his lips. San is following her gaze and he knows all too well where this could lead. He should've known to break contact, but before he could even think about it, Zara is the first to lean in and make her move— lips pressing against San's that he's instantly in shock and can't process right away.
But, what he does know is that this doesn't feel right, and his body is already rejecting the action because it isn't you.
"Zara—" San gently pushes Zara back with a frown on his face. "Zara, I can't. I— this can't happen. I'm sorry if I ever misled you, but—"
"Oh." She almost looks confused. "No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, how embarrassing." She shies away. "I should've known."
"I'm sorry—" He tries to repeat again, but she's shaking her head and walking off towards the bathroom. "Fuck." He runs his hand through his hair, letting out a heavy sigh. He feels terrible that it happened. One, it shouldn't have happened. Two, he didn't mean to hurt his friend.
Three, it wasn't you.
It sounds so fucked up, but even after all of that, his mind still takes him to you and he can't help but drunkly panic as if you were around to see it. It should've never happened, it should've never happened.
He didn't want that to happen.
They had been hanging out for awhile, but the last thing he wanted was to lead her on unintentionally. And he doesn't think he did, knowing she had feelings for him from the get-go. He was there for her and enjoyed her company, but kept enough distance to make sure it didn't cross any boundaries.
He didn't want that to happen.
He pushes his way through the crowd and finds his way outside, letting the cool air hit his skin. If he hadn't made his way out of the bar, he might've [quite frankly] yacked from the slight nausea and anxiety he's feeling. He pulls his phone out of his back pocket, quickly scrolling through his call log to find your name.
You don't answer when he calls.
So, he texts.
san: i'm sorry
san: i miss you so badly
san: i miss us
san: zara kissed me and you're probably gonna hate me for it
san: i'm so sorry baby, pls come back to me i miss you. i don't fucking care anymore, i just need you.
you: san stop
you: get home safely okay?
san: no i want you with me though
you: san, please stop making this harder than it already is.
And then he calls again. Because for some reason, he feels like you already hate him and want nothing to do with him over a dumb 'lil mistake that he had no intention of making.
He calls again.
And again. Even when he's got his back pressed against the wall, crouching near the ground until he can hear your voice clearly on the other line. Zara steps out to get a breather, but she sees that he's already on the phone and it must be with you. She doesn't know why she expected anything out of that stupid, silly little kiss.
He was always gonna run back to you.
It was always gonna be you.
You finally answer, but it's because you think something's wrong and you don't want anything to happen to San.
You don't even know if you can stomach hearing him right now.
"Baby." He drunkly murmurs on the phone and it causes you to swallow the lump forming in your throat— shut your eyes to prevent any more tears from falling. "Sweetheart, you there?"
"San, stop this. That's all I'm asking from you." You shakily respond.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? You shouldn't be calling ne as if things are okay."
"But, they can be, angel. We can make it okay again."
"Please don't call me that." You barely say above a whisper, tears sting your eyes, throat aching. "If you need a ride, I can call you a cab."
"No. Mm'fine. I just wanted to hear your voice because I miss you so damn much."
"You're making this way too hard. Please just go home and get sleep, okay?"
"You're gonna hate me more than you already do."
"I don't hate you. But, whatever your business is with her, is your business with her. None of this pertains to me."
"I don't have business with her. I want you. I just want you. It's always you." You purse your lips tightly when you remember his text— of course Zara would take the opportunity, and now he's confessing his love to you.
All of this was so fucked up.
"I love you."
"San."
"You don't feel the same anymore?" You feel the burn in your throat when you take a moment to pause.
"Can you just put Jongho on the phone, please?"
"Why?" He whines.
"Because I need to make sure you get home safely." He clicks his teeth.
"Fine." He whines some more before he's calling out to Jongho and telling him his girl would like to have a word. "Think my girl is mad. C-can you tell her we can work this out? I-I don't want her mad anymore." In which Jongho follows with a quick 'yeah, ok' before snatching up his phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi. I'm sorry to trouble you with this, but can you please make sure he gets home in one piece? I think it's best he stops calling me, too."
"Of course. I'll stay with him."
"Thank you, Professor—"
"Jongho."
"Thank you, Jongho." You hang up the call and instantly toss your phone to the side before your tears start overflowing. You let the sheets swallow you whole before you cry.
And you just.. cry.
Until you tire yourself and fall asleep, even though you tried to stay up to make sure nothing else came in from San.
Nothing does, anyway.
Jongho throws San into the car and tells him to chill while he says his final goodbyes to everyone. Mingi, Yeosang and the rest of the group are laughing it off, assuming San is just drunk and slumped for the night. And he kinda is, but he's sad. He's completely heartbroken. He doesn't wanna be alone for the night, and Jongho says he'll take the guest room so he doesn't have to wallow in his drunkenness alone.
Yet, he still feels like he is.
When he gets home, he lazily kicks off his shoes and runs a quick shower. The world is still spinning more than he'd like, so he downs a whole water bottle before finishing up his routine and slipping under the sheets. Jongho has left him to his peace, also getting ready for bed in the guest bathroom and bedroom.
San can barely get comfortable because he can't even close his eyes and feel still for a second. He lies on his tummy, sprawled out across his bed since there's no use in leaving space for two.
He wishes he could.
Your side remains empty.
"You good?" Jongho pokes his head in to see a shirtless San facing the opposite way.
"Mhm." He mumbles. "Thanks."
"Yeah. Well, you know where to find me if you need anything." San stays silent, making Jongho shut his door gently before retreating to the bedroom.
San does know what he needs, though.
It's unfortunate your side remains empty.

Monday comes, and San is hoping he doesn't run into you.
He's hoping he doesn't run into you because he's not sure how to explain himself, and it's not like he can, anyway. But, it'll also make everything real for him— too real for his liking.
It'll be too real that he drunk texted you and called you, confessing his love after an incident that should've never happened in the first place.
It'll be too real that you aren't his.
It'll be too real that you never came to be by his side and that your side of the bed remains empty.
San sighs to himself as he quickly rushes into the Harvey Building, hurrying down to the basement and unlocking his office door. He sets his bags down and plops onto his chair, getting settled for the day. He couldn't sleep last night, so he decided to get up before the sun rose to workout in the faculty gym. He might've pushed himself a little harder than usual, his arms already feeling the soreness from the upper body workout he did. He'll be extra tired today, but at least his day will fly by with the shit he has to do.
He just hopes he doesn't run into you.
Because somehow, when he sees you, time stops and he feels frozen.
He lets out a sigh and starts working on a few progress reports that are literally due tomorrow. He's gotten through most of it and thankfully, just needs to add a few more details before sending it off. He also just got word that he won an award, and the foundation has been asking for a bunch of material to get ready for the award ceremony in a few months.
He hopes he can still share that news with you at some point.
Until then, he'll gather some childhood and school photos, candids he has from being in the classroom and doing lectures, other award photos; you know the deal. He's gotta write an acceptance speech that's 500-600 words and lasts about 2-3 minutes, plus answer a bunch of questions on a sheet they sent him.
It takes up a good chunk of his early morning that he's grabbing coffee right before his meeting with Namjoon and Jongho about the new program and real estate. He mutters a quick 'oh shit' to himself when he looks down at his watch, wrapping up his last thoughts before switching his desktop computer to sleep mode and gathering his phone and badge. When he slips out of his office, he finds the basement office more packed than usual. Lots of his lab members are meeting with people from other labs to collaborate or get guidance on a project. Sunwoo is busying himself with the data on his computer, working on his next data presentation for the lab meeting next week. He's noticed that him and Belle don't talk anymore, and he wonders why; he has an inkling it has to do with you, but he won't pry unless he hears about it somehow.
They all toss their 'hello's' his way while he rushes out to grab his coffee before making his way to the electrical engineering building.
Luckily, the walk is quiet.
San sips on his coffee and makes his way into a room that Jongho booked for their meeting. He's not here yet, but Namjoon isn't either, so San sits at the table by himself— mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He hasn't deleted your text thread [call him crazy], and he still has all your photos in his album. He hasn't changed the 'Baby 💕' listed as your contact name, he hasn't changed his home wallpaper that consists of a shot from behind you looking out at the beach view.
It's all equally tearing him apart and getting him by at the same time.
He can't seem to get his mind off of you and it makes him think that the universe is playing some kind of sick, twisted game with him.
Or, maybe it's a sign that he just has to accept his feelings for you. That you were always gonna be the one for him no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it couldn't work—
"Ayo." Namjoon pulls him out of his thoughts when he walks in and plops down on a seat next to him.
"Sup."
"I see Jongho's running a bit late." San checks his texts to see the unread 'running a few mins late - be there soon' text from the man himself.
"Yeah. I almost forgot myself. Was too busy getting the award materials together." Namjoon smiles.
"That's a big one. Definitely deserved."
"Thanks, boss."
"How's everything else?"
"Good, I guess." But Namjoon can see it's deeper than that, and San isn't all that great at hiding his true feelings.
"You guess?"
"Yeah, why?" He looks at Namjoon.
"She's doing great."
"Is she?"
"Yeah, really."
"That's good to hear."
"Qi Jaemi from Mirae reached out and is recruiting Y/N into their program. She started a clinical study not too long ago that's moving fast, and the work that Y/N has done in our labs is incredibly beneficial and relates well to what she's focused on. She offered to support her and give her a research assistant position while she's studying for extra financial support." Namjoon meets San's eyes. "I think she'd flourish and do amazing in it. Can't let her talents go to waste."
"I agree." San shifts in his seat. "So, she'll be transferring?"
"Yeah, sounds like. It's promising and I told her she has my support. I think she's gonna take it and not backtrack."
"T-that's great. I hope she does." San says.
"I'll need your help with writing a rec letter for her transfer application. If that's okay."
"Yeah, of course. Anything." He is truly happy for you and thinks it's the best move, especially for a very well known professor like Professor Qi. After everything, he's glad your work is still being recognized and that you're opening new doors to different opportunities.
He hopes you do move forward with it.
Selfishly enough, he hopes you take it and this will eventually lead you two back together. To a time where you don't have to hide your relationship and be loved undercover.
To a time where you two could just be happy without any outside noise.
"You miss her?"
"I do." San barely responds. "I really do, and I don't know how I'm supposed to get past this. I tried, Joon. I can't let her go." He sighs.
"Listen, I can't tell you what to do anymore. My job doesn't include policing you down to the T. Things have settled and brushed over, but it doesn't mean the dean isn't watching you or her. Luckily, if she takes this, it won't be as big of a deal as it is now while she's a student here. He'd still wanna make sure you aren't getting distracted, though."
"Okay.. but that's great, right? Things have settled for the both of us." Namjoon sighs. "If she takes the opportunity, it changes everything."
"Yes, which is why.. whatever you do, please just remember not to mess this up for her or you. The both of you are on great paths right now."
"It was never my intention to do so in the first place. I wanna add value to her life, not take away from it."
"So, what are you trying to say?"
"I love her."

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated @randajjjad
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#choi san#ateez#san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop smut#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san smut#san fluff#choi san angst#choi san smut#choi san fluff#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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Please welcome the multi-talented @spartanguard to CSSNS24!
Your Tumblr and any other applicable names
SpartanGuard
How long have you been in the CS/OUAT fandom?
I watched the show from Day 1 until the very final episode; became active in the fandom during 4A, so coming up on 10 years!
When did you start shipping Captain Swan?
Actively after the first date; low-key in 3x14—"If it can be broken, that means it still works." SWOON. (You speak for all of us, Kaitlyn!)
What drew you to this event?
I love Captain Swan and I love fantasy!
What inspired your topic?
I really enjoyed the movie Jungle Cruise and there were a few aspects of Frank's character that really reminded of Killian (not saying what as I don't want to spoil the movie), so the wheels have been turning on how to adapt it into an AU for a while. But I knew it wouldn't have quite the same meaning with the OUAT characters if we just dropped them into what's essentially a historical fantasy in our world, so twisting it into something that fits into the Enchanted Forest (and associated realms) has been fun.
If you would like to share a snippet/sneak peek/summary of your fic or artwork, please use the space below.
Inspired by the movie Jungle Cruise, but set in the world of OUAT; Princess Emma is searching for a cure to help her kingdom's war effort—but so is the leader of her enemy kingdom. Alongside her sister, Snow, she seeks out a guide to Neverland, where the mythical cure supposedly hides, and finds Captain Killian Jones, who is less than eager to help. Adventure, danger, and romance follow!
For our artists: What kind of art do you like to do? Picsets, painting, digital, etc? Feel free to give as much info as you like.
Mostly manips, but the occasional picset if everything I want to convey outstrips my photoshop abilities.
For our betas: Who/what have you beta'd before, or is this your first time? Feel free to give as much info as you like.
I've been beta'ing almost as long as I've been writing fic, and my day job is as an editor. (Fic is much more exciting than the things I edit at work, though!)
What are you looking forward to most about participating in this event?
Seeing all the fun stories and adventures we get taken on!
We are beyond excited to see Kaitlyn's story drop on 8/14/24! She's also going to be an artist and beta, so she's going to be super busy for CSSNS24!
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I know that I’m one of the more outspoken anti-cs on this site. So this feels weird to say.
But… a part of me does understand why minors join the pro-c movement.
So much of society is… aggressively puritan when it comes to minors. You can see it here on tumblr, with people putting #minors dni tags on posts with completely SFW mention of the existence of genitalia. You can see it on other sites, where people will tell anyone under 18 to avoid them and their account. Not just the explicitly mature/sexual stuff, everything. You can see it in real life, when someone zips a jacket up over their shirt. Because the shirt says “f*ck” (censored on the shirt, I didn’t add an asterisk), and what if a child sees?
It’s like, what do you want? Do you want anyone under chrono 18 to not know what a dick is? Do you want them to have my childhood? I was chrono 10 when I learned that penises existed, that some people had them, and that they were used for sex. I was chrono 10 when I learned that sex existed, and that that was how babies were born (it’s apparently not magic, I guess). I do not feel protected or kept innocent. I feel… if I had ever been sexually assaulted, I would not have been able to tell anyone. Because I would have had no words to describe what happened. I wouldn’t have known the words for the event itself, I wouldn’t have known the words for any body parts involved, you get the idea. Is this what some people on tumblr want for kids?
I see what pulls chrono minors to pro-c spaces. Because anywhere else, they’re treated as fragile pure beings in need of shielding from any “mature” topics at all. People don’t understand why having no boundaries at all between chrono minors and chrono adults is bad because all the boundaries they’ve ever known have only hurt them. Why can’t I have sex with 40-year olds? Sure, people say it’s dangerous. But people also say it’s dangerous if I watch a movie they haven’t personally vetted and approved beforehand. Because what if they say a bad word? Hearing someone cursing is a danger to me, society says. So why should I trust them on this issue?
There is no dedicated space for the middle ground. Or… nothing as big as pro-c spaces. And that’s really a shame.
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