#dc: oliver

[brucedefender4eva]

Batman: I have decided I will reveal my identity to one person

Justice League: !!!!

Batman: *walks over to Green Arrow*

Green Arrow: Wait wha-

*Hot steamy make-out session right in front of the League. Jaws are dropped, Superman’s eyes are red, there’s tongue*

Green Arrow: … huh

Batman: *raises an eyebrow* Do you understand?

Green Arrow: *now completely aware that Batman is Bruce Wayne due to how many make-outs the two of them have had over the years* Surprisingly yes

Justice League: ?!?!?!

Batman: That’s all *sweeps out of the room with a dramatic flare of his cape*

[non-binary-lil-star]

Batman: * enters the room with a bunch of children following behind *

JLA: ???

Green Lantern: Huh

Green Arrow: Batman, who the fuck are these kids?

Batman: Language

Batman: These are my children. Agent A is sick so I had to bring then in

Wonder Woman: I am not acquainted with the hero know as 'agent a'

Aquaman: As long as they don't cause trouble I don't see the issue

Flash: ???

Flash: You don't see the issue? Batman didn't have any kids until not that long ago where did they COME FROM???

Batman: ...

Batman: Oldest one i found in the circus

Batman: Second eldest was born from the shadows

Green Arrow: Wha-

Batman: Third one, i found in the trash

Batman: Fourth one followed me home after I forgot the door open

Batman: And my youngest my ex mailed to me

Aquaman: Mailed??

Batman: I tried to return him but the post office guy said neither Heaven nor Hell wanted him

Batman: Or anyone in Gotham, for that matter

JLA: ...

Flash: ...

Flash: ... sorry I asked

[iamthemess]

JL finding out bat secrets, but it's in the most simple ways.

Barry: how old do you think Robin is?

Oliver: you met him last week, he's like 12

Barry: yeah but like, he was 14-ish when we started the justice league

Hal: maybe he's an immortal vampire like batman

Nightwing: that's ridiculous

Hal: we have aliens and gods on this team. Why not vampires?!

Wally: can't be immortal if he was 14 then but 12 now

Barry: I've cracked it, there's more than one

Oliver: Your genius amazes and astounds

Barry: So the first Robin should be like 30 by now

Dick: WHAT

Dick: 30! IM 26

Dick now in crisis: I AM NOT THAT OLD YET

Barry: Hold on, wha-

*Wally silently laughing at Dick despite them being almost the same age*

Oliver: Were you Robin?!?!?!

Dick: I can't believe this betrayal! It's called mid 20's and you're no longer invited to Christmas Ollie!

Oliver: I was invited to your Christmas!?!

Wally: Well, not anymore you're not

Hal: Can I come?

Dick: that's up to Batman

Hal:...

Dick: Coward, this is why you aren't invited to family Christmas

Barry: YOURE RELATED TO BATMAN?!

Oliver: I WAS INVITED TO BATMANS FAMILY CHRISTMAS?!?!?!

[frownyalfred]

reactions to Batman coming up to the Watchtower for a JL meeting without his cowl just wearing a domino mask, in order of hilarity:

oh no he’s hot (Clark)

he’s older than I thought he was (Diana)

he’s younger than I thought he was (Hal)

he has hair??? (Barry)

why do I recognize that scar above his left eyebrow? (both Dinah and Ollie, simultaneously)

good lord how is he so hot (still Clark)

[varpusvaras]

My favorite fic trope is the "JLA meets the batfam because they arrested Jason as he was undercover and now the family is coming to pick him up" one, but imagine. Jason gets arrested by the JLA while undercover, and is brought in for questioning, but before any of the batfam members even notice that he is gone, Green Arrow walks into the interrogation room.

"It's okay, Superman, you can let him go."

"Green Arrow, Red Hood is a wanted criminal on the JLA:s most wanted list-"

"What? No, no he isn't, that's just Jason."

Superman stares. Jason stares too.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, that's just Jason, my son-in-law. You can let him go."

"...your son-in-law is the Red Hood?"

"No? Jason's not the Red Hood, he is just dressed as the Red Hood. He's in a mercenary group with my son, he does that. It's pretty easy to dress up as someone who doesn't show their face for a job. Jason's no Red Hood, let me tell you that. Or I guess I don't have to tell you that, since you've already arrested him."

Jason's not really sure if he wants to murder Oliver or not.

Superman stares. Oliver raises a brow.

"So? Can I have him back, please, we have a family dinner today and we're already a bit late."

"...sure."

Jason gets let out. Oliver throws an arm around his shoulders as they walk towards the zeta tubes.

"I hate you, Queen."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

JLA does leave Jason alone after that, though, because every time they see him outside of Gotham, they just go "oh that's just Jason dressed up as the Red Hood again, move on" and Jason doesn't know if he should be annoyed or not. It does make his work easier, but at the same time, it somehow feels like an insult.

[jetslay]

DC Super-Heroes by Emmanuel Gervasoni.

[goodknifeboy]

I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:

In the JL interrogation room:

Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?

Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?

Justice league looking skeptical?

Red Hood: You can even monitor it.

Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.

Hands Hood a phone

Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?

Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?

Red Hood: You'll see.

Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.

Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?

Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!

Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?

Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.

Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.

Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?

Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.

Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.

Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?

Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?

Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.

Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.

[daemonmage]

Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman your identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

[a-reyy]

I think we all headcanon Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen going to boarding school together but what if Lex Luthor went there as well…and they were friends. Like bestfriends. The kind of friend you talk to even after you graduate.

The JL undercover at one of lex’s galas to get some info on an evil plan he’s been cooking up:

Clark: can somebody cause a distraction while I go get the files?

Bruce:…..Oliver?

Oliver: no

Bruce: please?

Oliver: *sigh* fine.

Bruce: yes!!

Clark:…what’s happening?

Bruce with Ollie walking up to lex: if it isn’t my favorite ginger!!

Oliver: you can’t say that Bruce. He’s not a ginger anymore, he’s bald.

Lex visibly done with their bs: at least I assume it. What are you whores up to nowadays, adopting 10 kids per week?

Oliver pointing at Bruce: that’s him, not me.

Bruce: at least I don’t make one, on purpose might I add, and then proceed to ignore his existence.

Lex: you got me there Brucie. But I still can’t believe only one of your kids is biologically yours considering how big of a slut you are.

Bruce: it’s not that bad.

Oliver: you literally slept with Superman.

Lex who did not know that:…you slept with Superman…and didn’t invite me!?

Bruce: what

Oliver: what

Clark over comms: what

[sagsunandmoon]

sometimes i think about how in batman arkham knight, when he walks through the gcpd every metal detector goes off. it inspired me to think about just how many metal weapons the bat carries on him at all times, enjoy this:

The JLA on an off world mission, negotiating with an Alien species:

Unknown Leader: “Yes, I’m afraid this meeting is under a no weapon policy, so please deposit them here along with any other belongings” holding a large metal box

Ollie: deposits his bow and arrow, along with a knife strapped to his calf

Diana: following suit, depositing her lasso and sword

The others do as well, the box quickly filling with a range of explosives, swords, knives, handheld traps, etc.

Then it gets to Batman…

He was just going to ignore the order, keeping all of his equipment with him before Diana gave him a sharp look, he sighed-

He started with his batarangs, the team expecting him to move on once they were released from his utility belt, but instead he proceeded to pull 2 from his calves, 2 from under his boots, one across his chest (nobody knew that the insignia could also come off??), and 4 hidden under his cape along his back.

Unknown leader: Alright then, we may procee-

Batman released his grappling hook from the belt, along with 4 explosives, 2 smoke bombs, and an emergency flair, putting them in the box as well.

Barry looked at him with utter confusion in his eyes, yet also nodded, clearly impressed. He moved to turn back to the leader but was stopped when Bruce pulled out even more equipment.

He unhooked one ear of his cowl, pulling out 3 different lock picks, the other ear detached and and became a retractable blade. (no one knew how this was possible).

Just when they finally thought it was coming to an end, he takes out 3 more knives lined in his cape pleating, a can of shark repellent?, an inhaler (for Tim), a small tin of hair gel (for Dick), a snickers bar (for Jason), a glitter bomb (for Steph), weighted gloves (for Cass), sunglasses (for Duke, not because of his power but because someone will ask him about the power and he feels he needs the glasses to complete the look), and a juice box (for Damian).

The box is full, the team is bewildered, Bruce has the audacity to ask for a second box. The aliens audibly sigh.

[brucedefender4eva]

On a Justice League mission

Wonder Woman: Where’s Barry? I had assumed he would be here before us

*Flash runs in, holding Bruce in a Princess carry*

Flash: Incoming! *sets Batman down* Whew! Damn Bats, you gain some weight?

Batman: *glares* …

Flash: Sorry… that was mean

Batman: Hrn *pats Barry on the head once*

Superman: *clears throat and floats in between them* Ehem… anyways… how are we supposed to-

Batman: *cuts Clark off by shaking his cape. This causes Spoiler and Black Bat to fall out* Got it covered

Spoiler: Damn it B! I was taking a nap! You could’ve at least given us a warning

Black Bat: *finishes that macaroons she was eating* Lets get to work

Batman: *nods at them as they walk off chattering*

Justice League: …?

Green Lantern: How… how do you keep doing that?

Green Arrow: *muttering to himself* It’s not possible… it’s not possible…

Superman: I… are there more in there?

Wonder Woman: Batman, is the small fierce and stabby warrior with you? I would enjoy teaching him more techniques!

Batman: *ignores them*

[bats-and-the-birds]

Justice League scenario where they meet little tiny Dick Grayson as Robin and immediately start taking bets on what on earth he is because the answer is obviously not human.

Green Lantern: I think Bats made a genetic clone of himself. One of his contingency plans, you know? If something happens to him, he has a well trained double to take his place eventually.

Green Arrow: No way! I refuse to believe anything that shares genetics with Batman could smile. I bet he's an alien that Batman found and ran tests on. I mean, have you seen the kid? I don't think he has bones.

Flash: Alien is a possibily, but have you seen the stuff the comes out of Gotham? I bet he just materialized out of the shadows one day. His smile scares me, I think he has to be a demon of some sort.

Dick Grayson, hanging upside down from a hanging light above them, where he has been silently eavesdropping the entire time: I am a normal human boy.

Lantern, Arrow, and Flash: -extended screaming-

[lovesick-joey]

fyi your dad is a whor—

[prlssprfctn]

Bruce, giving teen!Jason the shittiest car driving lesson ever: And remember, if you still hadn't figured out how to park, and a police officer tries to fine you for that, just tell your name backwards. The CGPD has too much job to actually search for you afterwards. They will just have a pile on your name in their department. And I didn't tell you that, but their system hadn't been updated well for ages. So, they won't be able to tell for sure if you are lying about your name or not. 16!Jason, nodding: Sounds cool. Bruce: ...It is not cool, but Alfred said it works, so we listen to Alfred.

(Years later, pre-reveal)

Batman, standing on the rooftop: So, Jim... anything new? Jim Gordon: Yeah, you know, nothing, actually. Except for an asshole, whose parking fines are filling my whole fucking cabinet. He keeps putting his bike anywhere he wants, especially next to our building - an audacity! - and then, disappears after receiving a fine. I can't find him anywhere. Batman, chuckling: That's smart. Jim Gordon: Yeah, fuck him. Tason Jodd, my ass. Who fucking names their kid like that? Batman, with his smile disappearing: ...What. Jim Gordon: What? Batman: ...Jim. I need you to call me the next time this guy appears. Jim Gordon, concerned: Hey, this is just a teenager. It is fine, no need to break his spine or something- Batman: Use Bat-signal next time you see him. I am serious. Jim Gordon: ...What the hell. Sure?

[frownyalfred]

the identity porn potential of Ollie and Bruce both knowing each other’s identities but not revealing that to the Justice League is SO funny to me, like you’ve got Ollie at a Founders’ meeting kicking his feet back like “oh we need someone to infiltrate the event and sleep with both married targets? B, you’re a shoo-in” and everyone laughs thinking it’s a stupid joke because yeah, Batman’s gonna honeytrap both targets?

meanwhile, Bruce leans back in his chair and the corner of his lip curls just enough for Ollie to get the unspoken “let’s not start on breaking up marriages, hm?” his friend is so clearly thinking at him.

[varpusvaras]

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.