#differences arent a negative thing

[arolesbianism]

GUYS.

New dupe real! Also new pod????? Olivia is that you girlie speak to me

[leori-the-unlearned]

the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3

the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*

[orcelito]

Read the most depressing trauma dumping letter Ever sent to me from my mother and then went right into the manager meeting where I had to get it thrown in my face AGAINNNN that I'm a fuckup who's doing nothing right, as if Saturday wasn't one of the most humiliating days of my life

I need to fucking scream. I need to fucking break things. But it's nearly 10 pm and I can't do Shit because if I throw shit in my apartment I'll scare my cats and I don't want to break my shit and I can't leave my apartment because it's fucking 10 pm and that's Dangerous but I need to release this energy somehow because I. Am. So. Fucking. Fed UP with life. It feels like no one sees how much I'm trying, it's always always always always my fuckups. Always always always. And meanwhile I've been slipping in a major way and I'm trying so hard to keep myself on track but I am

Needing to calm down. Before I start thinking drastic things.

I'm just so. Fucking. Frustrated.

I'm trying. Does anyone see that I'm trying? Can anyone fucking tell me they see I'm trying?

Of course not. We have to remind me that I'm a fuckup who's awful at their job. Of course :)

[ghostmaggie]

people are totally free to have their opinions about stuff and to share them online (this is not groundbreaking and is meant sincerely) but i am thisclose to actively avoiding any discussion of the pjo show bc there's so much just straught blind negativity and it's bringing me way down

[mantisgodsdomain]

"oh, yeah," we think, "we could probably cross this over into Li nked Uni verse if we actually draw out the canon for long enough, smacking different versions of the same character into each other is always fun especially when it has the potential for massive cultural differences and shit like running into things where the thing that has been forgotten has significance beyond the things that are remembered. Hey, we should probably check the comic in order to comply with the six-month rule, we don't think we ever finished-"

We return from the reference images. We have remembered why we didn't finish looking into the base comic.

[forehead451]

stream of consciousness type deal.

[babiebom]

bachelors and their weird kinks/turn ons perhaps 👀

A/N: it took a LOT for me to find weird things that arent gross(literally shit or dead people sorry if you’re into these) and even then I don’t even think these are weird but there’s only so many sites that I can go on to find weird kinks or even kinks in general. Fun fact there’s a kink for watching people fall down the stairs!! Keep in mind I’m talking about these fetishes and kinks from my own memory from looking them up lmao.

Tw:nsfw like all of it, cursing etc let me know if I should tag anything else!!

Bc: at least 4 for each? One for what the kink is and one for the explanation?

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Sebastian

Dacryphilia the kink or fetish for watching or causing someone to cry(positive or negative). A kink for tears if you will

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before (I might’ve?) but dude has a major crying kink. Like he needs to make you cry while having sex. In this instance it’s a good crying. Like from how good his dick feels inside you. How good it feels when he moves, when he touches you. It’s like overstimulation but the crying is the main thing he wants.

Somnophilia the kink or fetish for having sex with someone while they’re asleep.

AGAIN this is all consensual but he likes the way you look when you’re asleep. You’re fully content and relaxed, no troubles or worries. He just wants to make you feel even better to send you to a new level of paradise. And the way that you are free in your reactions instead of holding everything back. All of your sounds and the way you move…it just gets him off in a different way.

Sam

Katoptronophilia the kink or fetish for watching yourself or others have sex in a mirror

I think this kink more so has to do with his partner. I do think he would get off with watching you or him fucking you in a mirror. Like you both can see your own faces and it’s just hot how you can see how good he’s making you feel and the other way around. It’s like his recordings kink but in real time.

Claustrophilia the kink or fetish for tight spaces literally the opposite of claustrophobia

I think he would like the whole stuck in a small closet together thing or the whole (if you’ve seen kdramas bc this is the only time I’ve seen it) hiding from someone in a tight space and being forced to be close or touching.

Shane

Shibari the fetish or kink of Japanese bondage. It’s more artistic than regular bondage and can sometimes be nonsexual(meaning it can just be for the act of being tied/tying someone up)

I do think Shane might have a artistic side to him, he loves his blue chickens and even though he hasn’t particularly shown that he likes art I think he’d appreciate this form. Like yeah it has bdsm tones and he likes that, but he likes the time taken to tie you up, the time it takes to make the ropes look pretty on you. It gets the both of you riled up so the sex might be more passionate.

Electrostimulation the fetish or kink to being stimulated or stimulating someone with electricity

Oh dude is definitely a sadomasochist. He wants to shock you, he wants to be shocked (partially because he wants to feel something other than mental and emotional pain). It’s never so much that it hurts too much but it’s a little stinging sensation that he can’t get enough of.

Harvey

Quirofilia the kink or fetish for hands, but well taken care of/pretty hands

Oh I think Harvey HAS to take of his hands. As a doctor I think he would be happy if someone complemented how soft his hands were or how clean they looked. And on the other hand(heheheh) he would appreciate how nice your hands look, how soft they feel, how good they feel when touching him.

Breeding/Pregnancy the kink or fetish for pregnant people or getting someone pregnant. It has nothing to do with the child itself but the person carrying the child.

NGL I think once you two come to an agreement about pregnancy(in this case you agree to start trying for kids) Harvey is absolutely going to go batshit insane with this new development. Before he would’ve never said that this is something he’s into but once you two agree he’s so pumped up and actually starts talking dirty if he didn’t before. It’s crazy how different he is during this time.

Alex

Anasteemaphilia the kink or fetish for extreme size differences so either a giant or a dwarf(I hope this word isn’t offensive it’s what the website used)

Dude would NEVER reveal this but actually would love a giant girlfriend. I think because of the lowkey misogynistic views he has he would like a bigger woman and a smaller man. He would LOVE lady dimitrescu from resident evil. Like bffr.

Food Play the kink or fetish of involving food during intercourse so either eating it off each other or involving it in some way

Oh absolutely would love to eat food off of you and would want you to lick stuff off of him. Like whipped cream and chocolate syrup are MUSTS if you’re having a particularly long night. He thinks it’s so erotic to eat and consume stuff off of each other that don’t really have anything to do with sex.

Elliott

Psellismophilia the kink or fetish for stuttering

One of the weird ones I found. I think he would think it’s cute and if you do have a stutter or happen to stutter when you’re nervous he’s going to have such a confidence booster because of it. Like YES keep stumbling over your words and stuttering it actually is cute to him and he feels like he’s in a book or a movie or something.

Podophilia the kink or fetish for feet

I think this one is obvious? I think he’d prefer beautiful people and that includes feet. In a lot of erotic movies and books and even in romance books feet have some sort of importance to them. Whether it’s used to dominate someone or to pleasure someone he likes beautiful feet. He wants you to step on him(not in a rough way) and tbh I could see him wanting to recreate the scene in that one tarentino(is this his name) movie where he casts himself in the role that drinks I think alcohol from that woman’s food after it runs down her leg.

[lavenders388]

hiiii!! i’m in LOVE with your writing & i’m so happy to have found you ^^ I was wondering if I could request some headcanons of player 388 (Kang Dae-ho) with a s/o that was also in the military? ik it’s gonna sound a bit specific, but if it could be the FARC then i’d really appreciate it !! (oc reasons 😅) <33

~real man~

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ Kang Dae Ho x Military! Reader Headcannons<3

requested 💌

a/n thank you for the request!! this is such a lovely idea!! -matcha

<3 the second he finds out you were also in the military he becomes even more interested in you in a respectful admiration way kind of like how he was to Jung Bae! he understands the struggles that you've been through because he went through the same and he respects you for that, as well as he enjoys knowing there's someone closer to his age he can relate to!

<3 he gets a little bit sad for you; just knowing like what he went through and the things he struggles with from serving like physical injuries/ptsd. he just cares about you so much and doesn't want you to have ever had to go through anything negative.

<3 if you were in a higher branch/rank than him, he gets really embarrassed thinking about how much he talked about himself not knowing there was someone higher than him there. he gets really flustered when you tell him he should still be proud of himself:3

<3 if you were in the FARC, i don't think he would know exactly what it was, just with it being a little different from what he went through as well as depending on how much he knew/didnt know about your country! once you explain it to him he's in awe that you were a part of something so noble and groundbreaking.

<3 Dae Ho also admires and is interested in learning what made the FARC form in the first place and is even more interested in the fact that its now recognized as its own political party! he finds this super interesting and admirable. he loves learning more not just about you but about your country, and he gets to do that a lot by learning more about what you served in!

<3 going off of the previous one, if you arent in the games/when he gets out he definitely researches it a ton just so he can know more about you and impress you with his knowledge:)

<3 he does the "SIR!" thing to you a lot to joke around; but he truly does respect you and see you as higher due to your service and his admiration of you in general:3

<3 he loves this part of you a ton and loves that the two of you have this in common as well, as your relationship develops he appreciates this a lot because it allows him to speak to you and get to know you more:)

[filurig]

new little silly, eernah... she's a hooftender from a settlement not super far away from vätterunda, but seperate from Ehrumnen, Gahuurn. Moar little things about stuff i have thought about in relation to her below

a hooftender is a hrumeh (bäckahäst...ian) occupation that like the name implies takes care of hoof maintenance. some do take care of hoof maintenance on their own but the convenience of hooftenders is appreciated, especially during seasons of accelerated hoof growth, as well for hruma who cannot take care of them on their own due to things like old age, disability, etc. hooftenders also will take care of medical issues related to the hooves, so generally they tend to have a medical education as well specifically concerning hooves/feet.

reason why she will pop up in pareidolia despite not being from the most relevant hruma settlement in pareidolia (ehrumnen) is because during every hrumeh spring festival, hruma from different settlements will often gather to mingle and find potential partners. most festivals are set up in one area, often a grove, seperate from the settlements which young hruma make a journey to for the duration of the festival. and the festival Happens in pareidolia which selma goes to

Yes she is trans and i have pondered how hruma culture treats trans ppl and its a bit complicated, a bit negative (although there are probably some cultures who arent as negative but the ones im talking about are ehrumnen, gahuurn and adjacent settlements). ill just paste a discord screenshot for the general idea of their family/gender dynamics;

but yes this is also all very prefaced by the fact that most hruma societies percieve gender and sex to be very correlated if not one in the same and it doesnt only affect trans hruma but also gender nonconforming hruma. being a stag who wants to be more present in his children's lives than what is "normal" is seen as a bit overbearing, emasculating and also condescending to his hinds. a hind that wants work even after having had fawns (and before they are independent) is seen as irresponsible and weak. a trans hruma who lives in a different way of what is expected of their sex, while not treated with as much violence as is typical for humans, are shunned socially often in a bit of a condescending way - like they are what they are out of immaturity and an inability to accept what role they are best fit for in society. ive still gotta ponder this more and there might be religious overtones to the reasons as to why this stuff is quite established culturally to many hruma but yea

[mxrderscenes]

the reason why maomao appears younger during the frog scene:

with the ending of season two of the apothecary diaries, can i talk about frog scene and the idea of maomao "looking like a child" during it?

I DID NOT BETA READ THIS so mb if im rambling

as a disclaimer: im a light novel reader, as well as a fem-presenting petite person with a high pitched voice (aka, the infantilization of petite women is my area of expertise)

as well, some of the photo comparisons include spoilers for the LNs.

tldr at the end!

the apothecary diaries has a deep anti-pedophile narrative, so when episodes 35 and 36 came out, a lot of people expressed their displeasure with the portrayal of maomao during a sexual scene, citing that she looked much younger than usual during it. i dont believe that this is a baseless argument, however i dont believe that this was intentional either. this is partially a theory, but stay with me on this.

firstly: what makes a character look young, and why is that important?

when talking in terms of anime art styles, there are a few ways in which people make their characters look younger. thats going to be:

the size of the eyes

the size of the head in relation to the rest of the body

the overall frame of their body

the reason why most characters in anime as a whole look as young as they do is because of the art style, which typically includes an anatomically large head and large eyes. when we talk about the anatomy of children, one of the first things that youll notice is that they, too, have a large head and large eyes. during development, the size of a humans eyes do not change, meaning that your eyes look much bigger on you when you are small vs when you are grown.

in regards to maomao in the anime, these features are exaggerated to make it more clear to the audience. her eyes are much larger in the anime vs the light novels, with her head being larger and her frame being smaller.

these features, while present in her canon LN design, are very exaggerated in the anime. typically, youll see this is animation as a whole because exaggerations make conveying messages much clearer to the audience. maomaos petite frame is important to her character, due to her being malnourished as a child. maomaos growth was stunted as a result of her upbringing.

you see characters mention this is a negative light, specifically when jinshi tells maomao that she needs to put on some more weight. her size is viewed as a negative trait.

despite being exaggerated, her frame is often hidden behind multiple layers of clothing. she mentions briefly during her time in the rear palace that her uniform is made up of thick cotton, and she wears about 3 layers at any given time. there arent many moments where we see maomao without the extra layers. despite being clearly much smaller than a lot of the other people in the palace, we only see her bare frame about two times before the frog scene, both of these being when shes at the verdagris house. this may give people the false impression that maomao is bigger than she actually is.

as you can see, her shoulders look larger when shes in uniform, which is how we see her for the majority of the show.

now, compare that uniform to how she looks in a different outfit, one that only has 1-2 layers instead of her usual 3.

looks much smaller by comparison!

so we know how to make a character appear younger and why maomao looks young in the series as a whole, but why is this important, and how does it relate to the frog scene?

when we look at the anime, there are plenty of times where maomaos features are exaggerated further. often times, when maomao is expressing a large emotion, the animators will enlargen her eyes. this makes it easier for convey the specific emotion that she is feeling, and its a very common thing in anime.

you see this a lot when maomao talks about the ox bezor, which is something that maomao has a deep interest in. when shes excited over it, her eyes are animated to look larger than usual.

night and day difference, right?

this isnt the only time that maomao is presented in this way, however. we actually see this exact same thing when maomao is being viewed through the eyes of jinshi.

notice how she almost always looks prettier when hes looking at/envisioning her?

now- hear me out.

a new trope thats becoming more popular in anime as of recently is the idea of the fmc looking more beautiful when her male counterpart is looking at her. the idea is that no matter how bad someone may look, their lover believes that they are always beautiful no matter the circumstances. no them, there is no "peak" because they always look their best.

we even see this in the apothecary diaries with fengxian and lakan!

bro even went as far as to give her her nose back

other examples just to make my point a little more clear:

this trope is most clearly seen in spyxfamily.

now, do i have any genuine proof that this is what theyre attempting to acheive? no, im not on the animation team and there have been so official statements on this. could i be wrong about my assuption? absolutely, and ill take the L if i am.

but the reason why i bring this up, and how it connects to the points i made before, is that the way to make a character appear younger and the way to make a character appear "prettier" are the same.

now, lets take all of these ideas together and compare them to the actual frog scene, as well as looking at the same scene in the LNs.

now, when we look at maomao in the waterfall/frog scene, there are a few things to note right off the bat.

her actual body type and physical frame are not drawn differently in this scene

her eyes are much larger than usual

she looks much smaller in comparison to jinshi

the size difference between jinshi and maomao is not any different in this scene

body comparisons for maomao throughout the series just to get a clearer picture.

jinshi and maomaos height difference in other scenes.

jinshi and maomao have always had a large size difference. this is another show of their different upbringings and how they have shaped them physically. jinshi is a trained solider who has never known hunger a day in his life, and maomao is a malnourished commoner who went hungry on many occassions. it makes somplete sense that they would have a size difference, and the frog scene does not change or exaggerate this difference by any means.

maomao is just petite.

now, small ≠ child. however, small + larger eyes + petite frame does make her look more childlike than usual. especially when we compare it to the same scene in the LNs.

do you notice the difference? smaller eyes, no birds eye angle, and noticable curves that demonstrate that she has gone through puberty- curves that are absent in the anime.

now, maomaos frame was exaggerated from the beginning. it was not changed specifically for this scene. its important to make that clear when we talk about this particular change. the criticisms that people make when talking about this scene and how maomao looks younger are present during the entire anime.

my verdict: was this an intentional decision to make maomao look younger? no. does she look younger? absolutely, but not because of her petite frame. this was just a series of poor decisions that all combined into this unfortunate scene.

tldr; people think maomao looks younger because of the size of her eyes and the lack of layers shes wearing during the frog scene. this is an anime specific issue, and is not an issue in the LNs, because maomao is curvier in the LNs.

[flovverbun]

okay to have like a nuanced personal take on the whole egg discourse thing, there is a big difference in how to approach it when it comes to like, personal cases of eggs you know and celebrities or internet people you are a fan of,

on the first instance, its obviously good to encourage transition to a friend to do things you think are beneficial to them, and its also pretty obviously normal to stop once that friend tells u they want you to (either because they reveal themselves as not safe by a negative reaction or because it would push them back into the closet), like its not pressuring to talk about it with them, to suggest resources to talk about experiences, and sometimes if you know the person you can know that its not the best approach, its a case by case basis to be approached as such, and its really transmisogynistic when the approach of encouragement that helped a lot of girls and that a lot more girls say wouldve helped them, is seen as inherently worse

on the second instance, i want to have a gut reaction and say you cant do the same because its people that arent your friends, but like, then i thought about it, and like while its possible to have parasocial cases especially with shit like tumblr asks, its really bad that any speculation or personal comments with friends are seen as that? like, for most other cases of talking about people that dont know you its the mirror reaction image, celeb will never see or care about your comments but your friends will etc etc, but implications of trans femininity dont get that benefit of the doubt, that comment cant be relating to your experience or just talking about it to highlight for a friend, its always immediately seen as pressuring, even to people who couldnt transition like cobain, and like, idk, its transmisogynistic right? its transphobic that there is a double standard where this type of talking about someone you dont know is seen as negative and pressuring and something that the person will definitely see and be harmed by, just because its transfemininity, but saying that like someone might be gay isnt

idk i just wish people being called a trans woman wasnt seen as an attack in queer spaces

[tears-of-amber]

Hearth & Home Witchcraft That I've Learned

One of the biggest things that stands out to me when reading about hearth & home witchery is that everyday items are considered magical. Everyday moments, tasks, and chores as well. Its a beautiful way to live, if you really think about it. Big rituals are great, but as someone who is disabled, they rarely are doable. Here is a list of Hearth & Home Witchcraft Tips that i actually practice.

-Enchant a blanket by embroidering a sigil in the corner and using its color correspondences for your needs. It also helps me feel shielded from negative energy during meditation.

-Play music that makes you feel safe and AT HOME. This is almost like grounding, but also can be cleansing to the environment and especially the listeners. For me, its smooth jazz. The chill sound of the standup bass and the wandering piano notes that always seem to find their way to a comfortable key... its soothing to my soul.

-Talk to and about your home (kindly). So often its easy to complain about your living space. How you wish it looked or functioned differently. The house (in my belief) hears you. Treat it with kindness and gratitude for the shelter it provides. I say thank you to the house spirits and my home every morning.

-Find a convenient home protection ritual to do each month. I say convenient because if you overcomplicate things you'll feel less enthusiastic and less motivated to do it, and might even skip several months.

-Make a home cleansing spray using essential oils mixed with an appropriate amount of moon water. I like using a few drops of lemon, rosemary, lavender, and cinnamon. DO NOT spray this in the vicinity of your pets. I only use this spray in rooms where there arent any animals, to avoid complications with their health.

-Wash your bedding as often as you can and say a short incantation before you put it in the wash. It could go something like this. "I cleanse this bedding of all negative energy, from bad dreams, and from and all stress." Sleep is so important to your sense of safety and wellbeing at home.

-Open the damn windows when you can! Stagnant energy is known for dragging down people's moods. And there's nothing quite as uplifting as fresh air. This provides a healthy flow to your house's energy.

-Don't bring things in your home unless you want to incorporate their energy into your environment. This is something that's often overlooked. I especially advise heavy consideration when it comes to thrifting items and bringing them home. Try practicing sensing the energy of items so you can easily tell whats good to bring home and whats not. Thrifting is great! Im not discouraging it btw.

-Fresh flowers work miracles. Not only do they aesthetically brighten the room, but their correspondences and magical properties apply to the room that they're in. Sunflowers are a great example of a flower that encourages positivity, and are extremely affordable to get lots of them. Roses are a bit more expensive usually, but they invite that loving vibe. And African irises are great for psychic enhancement.

Thats all for this post! Reblog it if you found it helpful, or have any of your own cool practices for hearth & home witchcraft to share!

[huellitaa]

why people don't like you ₊˚⊹ 💬🎀

okay this is not as harsh as the title suggests but i wanted to put it literally bcuz this is a problem i've struggled with for the longest time. im gonna be brutally honest here. there are so many reasons why ur not of the social status you want to be or don't have as many friends as you like yadda yadda yadda. SO ,, here's my thoughts on why that's the case , and how to help! 🫶🏻🎀💬

──★ ˙ ̟🎀you're fake

whether its cuz ur trying to "fit in" or because you have a completely different personality stored in the back for everyone you meet, ur fake. its very simple. its not necessarily a bad thing, it just means ur insecure.

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

stop trying so hard girl. it's not that deep. there are 8 billion people on this earth and counting, u really think this person's gonna matter when ur living ur dreams and thriving even more than you ever imagined you could? no. move on. next please!

find out who the fuck you genuinely are. you're never gonna live your life if YOU aren't the one living it. once you get a start on finding who YOU are it's gonna make you more authentic -> more magnetic -> more attractive in every single way, including social.

u arent obligated to fit in. think about the type of people that you see in the street and you stare a while at, the type of people who stand out from a crowd for whatever reason, the people u look up to, ur idols who you could never imagine to meet in a thousand years; do you think they fit in? do you think merging with a crowd is what made them appeal to you so much? no. think abt that.

wake the fuck up and realise u deserve better. why are you neglecting yourself by hiding yourself from the world? would u do that to anyone else? would u get anyone else to change themselves just so they can fit in? girl get a hold of urself!!! you've been through so much and youve made it so far and yet you're still pretending to be someone you aren't?? you deserve SO much better. people who truly deserve you will always love you for you, no one else.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too awkward / anxious

i want to preface this by saying theres nothing wrong w this at all and i completely understand but ur gonna face some problems of people interacting with you. or you interacting w them. or both. i was diagnosed w generalised anxiety disorder when i was 11, so i understand how much this can impact ur life not just socially but in all areas.

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first thing im gonna mention to preface is this can be a symptom of an underlying condition u may need to get checked out. if its impacting ur everyday life please seek therapy, i am not a professional and cannot help u w this, even if i'd like to. i love u ♡

find what is making u anxious. what about social interaction is scary to you, and why? why does interacting w others make u nervous? is there a specific thing ur worried about or u find nervewracking? always. find. the root!

have compassion and empathy and patience w yourself. its perfectly okay and normal to some extent to feel like this and of course we're all gonna feel like this sometimes but its important to treat urself with care, especially in these times.

treat urself as u would a child. i recommend treating urself like a friend a lot but when ur in a delicate and emotional state like this its better to treat urself like ur ur own child. take care of urself with the same love and attentiveness as you would your own children and give yourself time and take care of yourself to work through the issue. ♡

break things down and take it slow and simple. break it into steps and PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST until u feel able to go back out into the public again and be That Girl ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur straight up mean

this can be anywhere from just being generally disinterested in people, being constantly negative all of the time to being just really shitty and rude. we all have the same potentials and possibilities but sometimes we can fall into the trap of negative patterns when interacting with others, which is okay. everyone messes up sometimes. but the important thing is is that we fall back out of that and become even better for it!

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

try ur best to put ur ego aside and think about yourself from an outside perspective. would you wanna be friends with you? if you were another person, how would you think people feel around you?

(🗒🎀 note: if that's too difficult, create someone in ur head or mentally assign ur traits, the good and bad, to someone you dont really know, and think ab how youd feel around them. insecure? jealous? confident? excited? nervous? think about it.)

i know it sounds weird but literally just sit down and talk to people close to u when you get the chance or the opportunity comes up and ask if anything you do comes off rude or blunt or abrupt or any sort of negative trait you think might be the issue here. or just subtly (or directly, either one works) try and find out their opinions on you so u can figure out if that aligns w what and how u wanna be, and then how you can change that.

just be generally more sweet and polite. people are easily gonna like you more if ur not a total dick. stop being mean to people, say please and thank you, compliment strangers, smile at everyone, put ur ego aside cuz its really not that deep girl.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too nice / people pleaser

okay being nice is not a bad thing. there is a fine line between being THE nice girl and being A nice girl. there is a fine line between being kind and being a pushover. you don't have to sacrifice urself to be nice to people. being nice should go both ways!

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first things first, like all things and like i've said a billion times before, you need to address the root of what is causing you to act like this. this should always be the first thing you do when addressing any problem, esp w urself. why are you acting like this? what is causing you to endlessly seek approval like this and sacrifice urself in the process? think.

start saying no to people, even to the littlest things. if you want to do it then sure, but start saying no so much more often. it gives you a sense of control and shows you only you have a choice in the things you do in ur life, no one else.

define kindness. is what ur getting in return to this unconditional self sacrifice genuine kindness, or friendship, or respect, or attention, or whatever else you assume you're receiving from all of this? only you can answer that. ask urself what the genuine meaning of all the things ur trying to gain from this are and then see if that aligns w what ur receiving. (🗒🎀 note: also read this post of mine for more on this! ♡)

again, therapy is gonna help a lot w this. if this is making an impact on ur life, social or otherwise, then i am not a professional and cannot help u w this (as much as id like to). ily and i believe in u ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 you seem "unapproachable / intimidating"

people are threatened by talent. people are threatened by beauty. people are threatened by what they aren't. so, congrats! you've achieved your goal! 🩷💭

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

i told my therapist once that people have told me i seem rude, unapproachable, intimidating, etc. and i felt really upset about it because i dont wanna come off that way. i wanna be nice and approachable and someone people can talk to. and she asked me what i would do if my favourite celebrity or famous person or whatever was my age and was walking through my school. i told her i'd think they were really cool and want to be friends with them, but wouldn't be sure how to go about it bcuz they'd be super intimidating. think about that.

🗒️🎀 note: but if you do find that people say this or act like this around you a lot, then you might need to do some introspection and ask urself if anything ur doing makes people feel like that rather than their own insecurities and mindset. ♡

i just want to quickly add that not everybody is going to like you. everyone feels a general sense of dislike from time to time and this post is what i mean by that, NOT how to make everyone like you bcuz that's literally impossible and something you shouldn't waste ur time and energy on. as harsh as i may have been in this post ur amazing and i love u no matter how much improvement you have to do ♡ i love you and am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too!

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[study-core-101]

Toxic Productivity and Academic Validation

Oh, studyblr, we love to romantize study and academic validation but are these actually good for our mental health and long-term academic goals?

Have perfect grades. Study a little a more. Work yourself to the ground. Only accept the best grade. Study until you cant anymore and then push to study more. Do it until it's perfect and then again because it will never be perfect. Study. Study tired. Study non stop. Dont stop study. Be productive. Everything has to be productive.

THIS IS BULLSHIT

Academic validation is one of the fundations of the study community. It has to go. At first, it sounds nice, it's motivation. Until you get a bad grade, then you are crying in the restroom stall and hating yourself. Until you dont understand a topic and want to bang your head to the wall because "i need to pass that test". Until studying is something to fear. Until your brain shut downs because it associates study with negative feelings.

Aim for good grades, study for good grades, but dont attach your self-worth to them. You arent dumb if you fail and bad grade isnt the end of the world.

"Study till [..] and then study a little more because it is never enough" REST for the the love of god. A tired brain doesnt learn, it just feels like shit. Health comes first and even if you wont listen and still decide to put study first, just keep in mind that being sick or feeling bad reduces the quality of your study and makes it harder to learn. Take care of yourself to make study easier and better.

Study for long period of times, but do it right. Stop when you need it.

All the toxic productivity, the pushing when your body tells you to stop isnt okay. Yes, we need to get rid of procrastination but taking breaks is a completely different thing but some are treating it as the same. Dont let a random tumblr post make you feel guilty for taking a much needed rest. Working yourself to the ground wont help you study any better, it will just lead to burnout, stress, mental health declive and bad grades when all those practices catch up. Taking a break is productive, and even if it wasnt, you dont need to be productive 24/7

And before anyone goes "dont encourage people with procrastination problems to countine that way" this post isnt about that. This is about not letting toxic productivity ruin your mental (and physcal) health.

We are in studyblr because we want to learn, not to ruin our health and well-being for the sake of a grade. There needs to be a balance with study and self-care.

[everything-transmasculine]

I've been kinda annoyed by some posts I've seen insisting on when people (which is pretty much always trans men) talk about top surgery positivity they need to include trans women getting boob jobs and like, you can have boob job positivity in your own posts no-one is stopping you. You can even confusingly call it top surgery when pretty much top surgery has always been a way to refer to breast tissue removal not augmentation. Like whenever it seems like there's a space for trans men to be able to talk about their own things there's a bunch of people pushing in to say that all trans issues need to be talked about. But if there's people with a trans fem post and someone adds in their trans masc similar comment on a reblog then they get shouted at to stop tagging along on trans fem experiences like so are all trans people supposed to be included in stuff or are we allowed our own separate spaces.

I remember there was a tiny zine a while ago which was about trans people, but all the people who submitted to it were trans masc, and then it became a huge thing that this one tiny zine was erasing trans femmes ? Like how does a small project with like 10 people do that which no-one knew about which is apparently doing that, but no one seems to care that all the popular books and movies and media said to be for trans people focus on trans women, and often when they talk about trans men do so in what feels like mostly negative ways, such as nevada, manhunt (as far as I know in the story, don't know what's going on with the movie), the people's joker, and like various popular essays

there is definitely a push for the erasure of transmasculine people under the guise of progressivism currently. i think what tends to happen is these people want to have their cake and eat it too - for example, trans issues are for EVERY trans person (except the ones that dont perfectly conform, that dont perfectly present, and that arent hypervisible in society.) its not a transfem vs transmasc issue, its a issue of hypervisibility vs hyperinvisibility - which both have their pros and cons, but its asinine to pretend that transmasculine people are somehow “lessening” the movement, the impact, etc by simply existing in their own spaces.

transmasculine people making things for transmasculine people is NOT erasing transfeminine people. anyone who says otherwise is an idiot, and obviously does not understand how discrimination and community works. at the very least intracommunal respect is essential for the furthering of transgender rights - not everyone is going to get along, but it is so very clear to me (and many people i have spoken to, cis or trans, online and offline) that there is no respect for eachother amongst the community. it is so obvious that there is a current issue of the “us vs them” mentality invading trans spaces, and driving us apart. we dont have to like eachother - in fact, i dont think anyone should be forced to like someone - but you HAVE to respect one another, regardless of our differences. this means that when a transmasculine person makes a post by and for transmasculine people, others shouldnt derail it to speak about the issues of the total community (and the same goes for transfeminine posts by and for transfeminine people!) the current movements of baeddelism, trans separatism, and trans supremacy (that exclude and put down transmasculine people for their ASAB) are killing the movements before they can even leave the nest. if your ideology posits any one group as inherently better than the other based on gender, sex, race, etc… thats not an ideology, thats bigotry, full stop.

trans rights are human rights - but that includes ALL trans people, not just the hypervisible ones (or the ones you can make caricatures of.)

[aimseytv]

this isnt an ask just a ramble i needed to get out about au sunship, i've never had tumblr before and im running on little sleep so this isnt going to be very coherent

But like the parallel between when guqqie felt guilty about getting aimsey to lie because they didn’t want acho to see them differently/yell at them vs aimsey getting angry that guqqie told michella about what hera did because aimsey didn’t want anyone to see guqqie negatively and yell at her (i can’t phrase things right) THESE SCENCES ARENT SIMILAR BUT THEY REMIND ME OF EACHOTHER SO MUCH LIKE KIND OF FORESHADOWING??

AIMSEY SAYING

“other people’s opinions… aren’t something we can control, ….. you need to not worry about what other people think of me…”

Guqqie “people shouldn’t judge you based on one action… i just want people to see that your good”

“…i just don’t think you should be so worried about the way people are gonna perceive me because at the end of the day their thoughts don’t really matter” 

and guqqie being like “they matter to me i want everyone to like you cause your great” 

“as long as you like me then i’m okay”

And this scene isn’t made like a very big deal but like it does matter obviously and then later after mr. loverman (before they see guqqs for the first time) aimsey doesn’t think guqqs likes it anymore and so like they feel like what everyone else always thought of him guqqie also thinks of him now (“youre just a demon”)

and then during the wall scene when aimsey is like did you tell michella and guqqies like yeah and aimseys upset because like 

“i didn’t want people to see you in the wrong way, guqqie!” 

“that’s not up to you!”

“yes it is! …..  i didn’t want people to see you the same way they saw me! i didn’t want it. i didn’t want it anymore. and i just didn’t want people to start making up these things and painting you in a terrible light-

people expect these things of me and they expect me to be this bad thing and i just didn’t want that to happen to you. i just didn’t want it ok…

if i told people that you beat me do you genuinely think people would just look at you and they would think that everything’s ok? No, they wouldn’t guqqie! they would see you differently. and i didn’t want that okay! i just didn’t want that! i just wanted things to be okay…”

so we’ve kind of known this whole time that aimsey really does care about what others think of him but they didn’t quite let on to it when guqqie was talking to her about it but during the wall scene we really see how much others seeing aimsey in a negative light has affected it and how much he’s been hurt by it to the point where they’re genuinely terrified of guqqie also having to go through that!! and just!!! They announcement has made me rewatch a lot of the vods/the ausunshipduo movie and im brain rotting about them but no one I know will listen to me ramble so i just needed this to go somewhere (sorry) ive reread this to see if it makes sense but my eyes hurt so idk if it does or not (im so sorry)

this is so sweet i read the entire thing :) glad you love ausmp gamer