#ego development theory

[desomorpheus]

[yufcourse]

ADULT IRIS ADULT IRIS ADULT IRIS

[milliebobbyflay]

Imagine a world where creationism was unanimously central both to the ruling class's conception of self and to the logic that justifies their power. Darwin's work still exists, attempts to suppress it outright would only drive interest; curious and rigorous scholars who've sought out his work can testify to its quality and relevance, and often teach natural selection in their courses. Still, there remains an understanding that Darwin is not what the people with money and power want to hear, and so when proposing research grants or attempting to climb the academic ladder, Darwin is typically ignored in favor of alternative theoretical frameworks which, while less useful, are far more likely to receive funding.

This creates a cycle where, because Darwinism has been ignored in all of the most influential and groundbreaking research, it becomes inessential. Scholars can receive their PhDs without ever having read a single work on natural selection. Despite its utility as a theory, intuition and an implicit trust in the social reality created by and within these institions creates the sense that Darwinism is, to put it bluntly "crank shit," the sort of thing you study to amuse your own curiosity and stroke your ego rather than actually trying to change the world.

Of course, none of this changes the fact that Darwin was correct, that evolution by natural selection is the primary mechanism by which species develop and change over time. However, since using Darwinist theory (or any alternative routes taken to similar models and conclusions) as anything but a garnish will get you labeled as a crank, the entire discipline of biology becomes warped around its absence. Entire fields form to cobble together makeshift solutions to the gaps Darwinism fills, further cementing it's irrelevance. Thousands of scholars devote their lives to fleshing out the forest of asterisks and duct tape holding on a vastly overstretched lamarckian and at times implictly creationist framework.

From the outside, the discipline begins looking absurd. Clearly driven by internal politics, sprawling in a million directions without any consistent underlying theory, shy on results. Despite billions pouring in year after year trying to answer some of the most fundamental questions about humanity, history, health, all lines of inquiry seem to eventually terminate in a shrug of "life is complex, how could we hope to understand everything about it?"

Okay now switch Darwin with Marx. This is the state of contemporary western social science.

[brooke121000]

bad cooking • spencer reid

a teeny tiny blurb in which, during a playful argument, reader injures herself in the kitchen. bf!spencer proceeds to tend to her small wound and (lightly) lecture her.

warnings: sharp things, brief desc of injuries/blood

a/n: is it a problem all my writing has been food related lately?

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“You do not have an oral fixation.” Spencer said firmly, chopping the tomatoes.

“You know what-“ you sighed. “I think that I do!” 

Before long, Spencer had chopped the vegetables and dumped them in the pot, the soothing smell of vodka pasta in the making filling your kitchen.

“Freuds theories are highly debatable. He himself was severely mentally ill- trusting him for advice on child development would be like.. trusting an eighteenth century plague doctor to administer a vaccine.” He chided, watching you strain out the pasta.

“Still, he was a pioneer in neuroscience-“ you retaliated. “He made his theories the same way anyone else did.. pattern recognition! You have to admit there’s at least some validity to the ego and the ID.”

He sighed, turning up the heat on the pan. 

“You have been biting your nails all night because you have an anxiety disorder and one too many glasses of wine- not because you were neglected.”

“I was formula fed! Don’t you think that might be the reason-“” You said, your tone rising a bit. Shaky hands navigated to the drawer, pulling out a large kitchen knife and grabbing a bulb of garlic from the basket.

“Okay, maybe I just need some alcohol. You know- you’re too stubborn for your own good.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Now-“ you turned to meet his gaze, and- in your emotion, fumbled with the knife. “I think that’s..”

He winced when he saw your wound- “you’re bleeding.” 

“What?”

As soon as you looked down, your brain became cognizant to the pain. Red hot pain shooting up your arm, crimson pooling on the side of your index finger and dripping onto the cutting board, defiling the garlic.

You huffed in frustration. “Ow! You distracted me, I wouldn’t have-“

He smiled, grabbing a paper towel. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on the side of your cheek and wrapping your finger, applying pressure.

“We don’t.. need to argue about whose fault it is.”

“Well..” you pouted. “I totally ruined the garlic.”

“The pasta is fine, I promise you onion is perfectly satisfactory. Anyway, it’s almost done.”

He trailed off down the hall, coming back with a bandaid. He wrapped it tight around your finger, oaken eyes meeting yours as you wrinkled your nose at the stinging sensation. “Better?”

“..I guess. Still mourning that garlic.”

“The pasta-“ he sighed. “Is just fine.” Grabbing a forkful straight from the pot, he placed a hand underneath and held it up to you. “Here. For your oral fixation.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, tentatively taking a bite. The soothing tomato flavor calmed your nerves, as did his hand on yours. 

“Wow.. not bad.”

[kwillow]

A little devil.

Mostly drawn because I got some asks about what an infernal Ambroys might be like -- I didn't figure people would be curious, but perhaps I should have known. Tumblr loves a tiefling...

(Asks and answers under the cut)

AUs that change up major aspects of a characters life are always tricky to solidify, because you need to consider which of their personality traits are inborn versus which ones were manifested or exacerbated by their life history. Even though I think growing up as this highly distrusted and stigmatized kind of creature could theoretically make him humbler or nicer, he wouldn’t feel much like himself. I would consider three traits to be core to an Ambroys feeling like an Ambroys: his ego issues, his need to be liked, and his difficulty empathizing with others. So let’s assume he’s going to be that way no matter what.

Being of celestial heritage, born of these powerful, once-worshipped (even if they aren’t any longer) beings, naturally exacerbates those personality traits. He’s got a big ego because he’s grown up being told he’s the gods’ favorite princess, but it’s also easily damaged because he can’t live up to those expectations, his preoccupation with having others’ adoration is fed by being guaranteed their attention like the Baroque version of child star, and he’s going to empathize with others less because he’s literally “not like them.”

Being infernal, these hated, feared and disliked creatures, would flip some of these things. Maybe instead, his ego would manifest as being something “special” but despised despite his capabilities. One can assume his whining about how “people just can’t handle me because I’m cooler than them” in this comic would be similar, but heavier on the “the world just doesn’t GET ME, MAAAN” and less on trying to be something other people want (because people don’t want him in the first place). Instead of fearing he’s less than people expect, he might instead be convinced he can be more than people know. Instead of being hugely egotistic on the surface with secret insecurities, he might scrape and act self-deprecating while secretly believing he’s above all that.

While normally, Ambroys can get away with bad behavior because people are inclined to believe he’s inherently good (including himself), this Ambroys would be told he’s inherently evil. While I think that could manifest as him being completely mask-off, because he wants to be liked, an infernal Ambroys might instead be more careful with his behavior. 

For instance, normally, Ambroys knows that people he’s just met will be on his side, and getting to know him well tends to lead to their opinions of him worsening, so he cultivates shallow first impressions and tries to play to what other people’s best impressions of him are, as well as resorting to cheap tactics like sex appeal to have the most shallow attention-grabbing persona possible. So, despite how I drew him, an infernal Ambroys might tamp down on the sexy bad-boy thing (knowing it would reflect badly on him and come off as “sleazy” instead of “dreamy”).

Leading from that, I typically describe Ambroys as “stupid,” but he’s like that not because of any inherent limitations to his intellect, but because he can coast through life without trying, so he never needed to develop any skills he didn’t want to. Eventually, in his older years, he struggles enough in his life that he develops things like “forethought” and “theory of mind.” This Ambroys would have to learn more quickly to demonstrate his best qualities to others, so he’d be cleverer and more canny.

Would he use that for good? Fuck no, he’s still an Ambroys. But his attempts at manipulation would be more calculated and long-term, rather than “just start going through my mansplain, manipulate, manwhore routine until I get the attention I want” that Ambroys does. An infernal Ambroys would know he’ll never have the majority of people on his side, so he might value making few, more valuable connections more. He’d focus his efforts on seeking useful allies and sucking up to them to try to get what he wants, instead of wasting his time trying to appeal to people who will probably never care for him. Instead of shallow surface appeal, he might focus on appearing more useful to key allies. He cannot be wanted, but he can be needed. Instead of trying to crowd-surf, he’d try to ladder-climb.

At some point in Ambroys’ life, the powers that be put him to use in the military. Ambroys normally views this as an aggravating burden (albeit fun at times, in the way that he enjoys hunting boars). Infernal Ambroys would be more gung-ho about it, in the interest of demonstrating his usefulness to powerful people and getting the recognition he feels he deserves.

You might notice that none of these behaviors are particularly “nice.” Ambroys can normally appear very friendly, if not terribly kind, because he assumes most people will like him, and that gives them value even if he doesn’t really think much of their inner worlds or emotions. Everyone is beneath him, so he doesn’t treat a noblewoman much better than a barmaid, barring some necessary rules of etiquette. Since most people won’t like an infernal Ambroys due to widespread beliefs about infernals, a demonic Ambroys wouldn’t bother with them. He wouldn’t even pretend to give a shit about most people. Instead glad-handing with the peasantry, he’d focus on people “on his level” (power-players, nobility, etc.) He’d appear much cooler in his manner with most people, perhaps shallowly polite but distant, shirking most social interaction because it’d be a waste of his time.

…Wow that was more words than I thought I’d be able to type about this silly concept, maybe I should cut that one off here. TL;DR: Infernal Ambroys would appear more humble, but be just as egotistical beneath. He’d be more asocial than Ambroys normally is, but work very hard to cultivate key relationships, being a more canny social player at a younger age. He would not really be any nicer, unless you’re in a position of power that might help him get the appreciation he feels he deserves.

I went into his personality above, so instead let's talk about FAMILY MATTERS.

To briefly summarize Ambroys' family situation: his father is an older nobleman who never succeeded at having heirs, and was "blessed" with one by a celestial because of his devout and goodly nature, who left Ambroys with him to raise. A few years later, that same nobleman had an oops-baby with a commoner woman -- that would be Charles (apparently Ambroys' dad wasn't completely infertile after all).

Perhaps, with an infernal, the whole Ambroys situation would be less a prayer being answered, and more a deal with the devil. A Faustian bargain to finally have the son he's always wanted.

Ambroys' dad is a good guy. I think he'd be kind to his demon son (he asked for it after all), but would keep him sequestered away, knowing the stigma they'd both face if he showed his his in polite society.

Charles entering the picture would also be... complicated. You go to all this trouble and sully your good name to have a demon baby, and then just have a perfectly good normal baby a few years later. Damn. A bastard child isn't great for your image, but it's more socially acceptable than the whole deal with the devil thing.

Rather than the normal dynamic of Ambroys being paraded about and Charles kept on the sidelines until he's proven himself, in this AU, Charles would be the son their dad favors at first, with Ambroys being the shameful secret. Charles is also still a good guy, so I think he'd try to be friendly with Ambroys, but would always have this pitying, condescending edge to their interactions (as opposed to normal Charles, who looks up to a celestial Ambroys as this perfect older brother he can never live up to).

Their relationship would be less turbulent, but an infernal Ambroys would resent Charles being the "good" son in the same way that celestial Ambroys resents him for being a rival. Instead of taking it out on him by being a petty bully, an infernal Ambroys might instead try to use him for his own ends, being a devil on his shoulder (ha ha), knowing Charles can navigate through the world more easily than he can. Then take out that long-bubbling resentment on him in a big way, once he doesn't need Charles any longer. They've still gotta have that Abel and Cain thing going on.

They might still become friends as kids, because I don't think Ambroys would be cognizant enough of his power quest at like five years old to decide she's below his notice, and Lou flouts social norms, perhaps including avoiding devils. They'd need to keep their friendship a secret, though -- her parents would probably not be so keen on their daughter's little buddy.

Though I don't think they'd stay close. Part of what Lou likes about Ambroys is that he shows a side of himself he doesn't to other people, which he does primarily because she's lower status and therefore "harmless," and he's also a major ditz who looks to her for advice and consoling because he doesn't "get" people (not that she does). His openness lets her feel she has this absurd connection to power, and command over that power, that someone of her status normally never would. It's intoxicating to her.

Since infernal Ambroys would be cannier, he wouldn't need advice from her. He also wouldn't want her to feel that she has power over him, which ruins that avenue of appeal. He might still appreciate their childhood friendship, being someone with few positive social connections, but grow more distant as he seeks more valuable connections later in life. Her insulting, abrasive personality would also be unpleasant and tiresome to him -- he would get that from everyone, as opposed to celestial Ambroys, who finds it novel and exciting that she's so openly rude to him (while still seeking out his company). I think she'd pick up on that and start considering him someone that can't handle her, just like everyone else -- and also, damn, not even a fucking hellspawn can tolerate her. That would be a wound to her ego.

Ultimately, infernal Ambroys wouldn't need her in the way that Ambroys normally needs her. Instead of ending with a bang of a big blow-out break-up fight, their relationship would end with a whimper of prolonged ghosting. I guess that's better for her in the long run.

[zenokei]

blue lock manga chapter 271 spoilers, mentions, and analysis (this is an absolute word vomit)

my drabbles, understanding, and analysis on the itoshi family goes something like: when the itoshi parents didn’t know how to properly deal with rin’s behavior when he was little but sae seemed to be the only one that can ‘understand’ and ‘get along’ with rin—they unintentionally gave the responsibility to sae.

i suspect that their thinking is something along the lines of “sae seems like he’s got an understanding of rin that we don’t, maybe it’s better that way, he’s rin’s big brother, after all.”

and honestly, i think that’s why we as the readers find the itoshi parents “distant” from the brothers’ lives.

but do i think they’re bad parents? not necessarily, although i also do think that they could’ve done more. but given certain circumstances…it’s kind of subjective.

let’s talk about itoshi mom first

evidently, itoshi mom is a very concerned mother: she doubts herself, she worries for rin (and sae), and she’s generally lost.

and how could she not feel all those things?

i perceive this as she’s a mother who doesn’t distance herself from her children, but because she doesn’t know what to do at all, she seems hopeless and doesn’t have any solution to fix things. naturally, she has the instinct to do what a parent should in times like scolding, etc—however, this is blue lock, everyone has their own ‘ego’, yet some of those inner desires are just cultivated beyond rationality at this point.

(which strengthens my suspicion about the itoshi parents unconsciously putting the responsibility of rin’s behavior onto sae…)

now, itoshi dad

honestly, i don’t have much to say about him, he’s pretty hands off with what’s happening with their children.

as seen, he does seem more composed and lax about everything, and sae definitely got that from him. i wonder if it’s because of itoshi dad’s ‘talks’ (?) with sae that somewhat developed sae to be the big brother he was to rin back when they were little.

i believe the narrative is just implying that he doesn’t think much of the behavioral differences that rin and sae show, even when rin gets injured and gets in trouble, which is a little yikes on his end but that’s just what i understood.

most definitely, the siblings got the trait of being closed off from their dad, lol.

overall, i still don’t believe they’re bad parents whatsoever. however, i do want to talk about my recurring theory that the itoshi parents gradually placed the responsibility of rin’s behavior (and his whole development) onto sae.

let’s discuss the impact of itoshi sae

when sae was around 13-14, he went to spain, and during the pre-teen/teenage years of the itoshi brothers, their family seems rather peaceful.

the itoshi parents—aside from the pride and joy they felt about sae’s success as a rising soccer player—seem rather refreshed, anew, and just happier. they don’t carry the gloom of being worried for their children’s behavior anymore.

but why?

it’s because of rin and sae’s bond over soccer. from a young age, rin has joined his big brother’s soccer team as they both relished the games they could never play with anyone else aside from each other. basically, the itoshi brothers found what they were for. and they definitely got occupied over it.

though i’m only connecting the dots for my own analysis, i firmly believe that the moment rin played soccer with sae, he found a way for his destructive mindset to be utilized. through soccer—the only thing rin has been focusing on—rin was able to effectively let out his desire to break, destroy, and kill what’s “amazing/perfect”.

and who was the only one there by his side, every pass after pass and goal after goal? of course, it’s his big brother. the one to only truly understand and see rin from the very beginning.

honestly, it all makes me wonder if the itoshi parents ever talked to sae one-on-one about rin’s behavior. (which honestly makes sense, because sae seems like a pretty obedient kid). but at the same time, what are the chances it made sae extremely analytical, too?

i mean, sae was deemed a prodigy at what 7 years old? that’s seriously insane. so it shouldn’t be a surprise that all of what’s leading up to the ego of the itoshi siblings plays a big part. i’m leaning on the possibility that sae was somehow influenced by the itoshi parents to be more keen or observant on rin—that or sae was only doing what he did out of pure instinct, that’s entirely plausible.

however, whatever the course may be, the outcome that sae noticed something with rin (even before their ego in soccer) will not change.

from this point onwards is just my random babbles about the itoshi family’s relationship (kind of…)

“but when sae left for spain the itoshi parents didn’t appear to care about rin-” i am not hearing that. we should remember that blue lock is (honestly borderline but whatever) about SOCCER.

i believe the first ever backstory we got of the itoshi siblings was only soccer-centered, and in rin’s perspective/narration. why would his parents be included in his soccer career when they most definitely weren’t?

again, i don’t believe that they’re bad parents.

also, i doubt that itoshi mom would ever just stop worrying about rin, even when he’s grown up! in fact, i think that with sae leaving for spain, she probably felt even worried because their children are separated. yet at the same time, i do see her not knowing what to really do again. perhaps they had no cameo after the airport scene because rin found it irrelevant in regards to soccer and his ego.

but, then again, i’m very certain that the itoshi parents do care for their children, and are still connected to them somehow…just not when it comes to the field.

aside from the second backstory (the most recent one) they look out for them (i assume this goes for rin too). in the character book the egoist bible, sae mentioned how his parents send him salted kelp from home to go with his rice when he asks. additionally, we saw itoshi dad say in their first back story for sae to “take care of your health!” as he leaves for spain. the itoshi parents do seem to care for rin and sae as supportive parents of athletes, however, only in the sidelines, because i personally don’t think it goes deeper than that.

honestly, everything for me is pointing that the itoshi parents aren’t active and present in the itoshi brothers’ soccer careers. not necessarily implied, but in the ‘another blue lock: episode omotesando’, rin is the only one seen that has a ticket to sae’s japan triumphant match. a ticket sae sent—of which i assume—only to him.

although this is all still just my speculation, i am still leaning on that the itoshi parents aren’t really relevant in the itoshi siblings’ soccer life, but rather, they play a role in how they ended up developing.

that’s all!

again, this are just my own thoughts about this chapter. this is not canon by any means and i am not forcefully saying what i am discussing is right and should be deemed the only theory/ies out there.

i’d love to talk more about theories and analyses on blue lock, let’s chat!

[boinin]

Chapter 271 spoilers

So, a couple of interesting things about chapter 271, which is all from Rin's POV and mostly in flashbacks. The main reveal was about the Itoshi parents.

They're not particularly important figures in Rin's life, but apparently this is not due to neglect. The parents in this chapter seem conflicted in how to raise and guide their children, rather than actively harmful in their parenting. The worse you can say about them is that they seem hands off. Sae does the heavy lifting when it comes to consoling and advising Rin, not their mom or dad.

What's most interesting to me, in terms of Rin, is that they're never fully depicted. Rin's memory shows them in detail, but never with eyes. Compare this to how he recalls Sae, his kindergarten teacher and fellow kindergarteners. Even the bloody pigeons are well rendered in his memory—but not his parents.

Lastly, the body language of the parents speaks volumes. Rin and Sae's mom is somewhat present in their lives, or at least tries to be despite her own doubts. Their dad though? Really avoidant. His body language is evasive, and the only time he seems truly present is when he's comforting his wife.

As an aside, while their dad has dark hair, Sae looks just like him now that he's older. Their mom has lighter hair like Sae, but the way her hair sits looks like Rin's. She's also willowy and tall like Rin. Nice seeing how they both inherited different things from their parents.

Other than that? The panels of baby Rin trying to be a Kaiju are too damn cute. We're starting to get a sense of where he started, and how those natural instincts of his got twisted and repressed over time. I really liked this development, even if it refutes my theory about what his ego was.

The other thing that's really clear this chapter is how protective Sae is towards Rin. He steps in without a second thought to take his mother's reprimand about the broken toys—even though their mom seems to know he's lying about it. He's quick to suggest taking Rin out of the house for ice cream when he senses his little brother feeling bad.

Sae's aim seems to be to cushion Rin from every bad thing, whether or not it'd be ultimately beneficial for Rin to undergo that experience. Which makes you wonder—how does his outburst post-Spain fit into that agenda?

[millysastroblog]

Astro Theories PT.2

☆Sun in Aquarius woman☆

tend to get along best with the opposite gender. They often fit into the role of one of the guys or bros in certain group dynamics. It's as if the opposite sex gravitates toward them because there is a resonance between the two. This could be due to their laid-back, cool, and somewhat detached personality. They also find more enjoyment hanging out with guys, claiming that they're much easier to be around and less complicated. This doesn't mean they can't befriend females, but there's a natural attraction to being around guys. They might even find themselves in situations where they need to friend-zone a male friend when one-sided feelings develop.

Another thing about Sun in Aquarius women is that they are most likely to claim the title of a pick-me since they naturally attract attention from the opposite gender. This can sometimes lead to an inflated ego, where they may see themselves as cooler, special, or different. However, this doesn't always happen in every case, and it depends on the individual.

☆ Saturn transiting your Moon sign and house☆

can make you feel depressed and lonely, especially if you're younger. The Moon represents our emotional needs, but when Saturn transits over it and places restrictions on what we need to feel fulfilled, it can cause sadness or a lack of happiness, making it difficult to navigate that area of life.

For example, with the Moon in the 11th house and Saturn transiting, you might find it harder to emotionally connect with friends. There could be periods of isolation, friends might move away, or you might have to learn how to build new connections from scratch and become your own best friend.

With the Moon in the 2nd house and Saturn transiting, you might need to cut back on impulsive purchases and realign your core values. Money could feel restricted or harder to come by, and comfort or simple pleasures might be limited. You might also face challenges with self-worth issues."

☆ Same goes for Saturn transiting over Jupiter placement or in the Solar Return chart being in the same house placement as our Jupiter ☆:

Jupiter in the 6th house / Saturn transit or SR in the 6th house :

During this transit, you may feel less motivated or enthusiastic about daily activities, and you might struggle to keep order or manage responsibilities. Your routine will require more planning, and you may feel a bit unlucky in this area of life or as if something has gone wrong. Jupiterian energy usually comes to us naturally, with less effort required to attract luck. However, with Saturn transiting, it will restrict that for a while and teach you how to develop more discipline.

☆ All mutable placements actually are THINKERS and intune with their mind and ideas ☆.

Sagittarius-> knowledge based on philosophy, education, travel, cultures

Gemini-> knowledge based on social trends, stories, surroundings, books

Virgo-> knowledge based on details, small things, day to day things, practicality, personal experiences, routines, books

Pieces-> knowledge based on Intuition, the unknown, dreams, creative insight

—-————————-♥︎—————————

Relationships & Connections

☆ Synastry and Composite can’t tell you the destiny of your relationship ☆

These astrological tools are meant to show people the potential path they might take and the direction in which their relationships could unfold. Just because a synastry chart indicates the best 'marriage placements' doesn't mean the relationship will last forever or that marriage will actually happen. Astrology can show the likelihood of certain outcomes, but it cannot predict the future with 100% certainty.

☆ There is no perfect Synastry or Composite chart it depends on two peoples natal chart and what their needs and preferences are ☆

Example: Saturnian synastry placements are highly favorable in astrology, as they indicate longevity, stability, and a strong foundation for a connection. However, if there are overly heavy Saturnian placements and one person has significant Aquarius and Uranus influences in their chart, they might feel too constricted or bored by the connection, as it won't fulfill their own needs for freedom, change, and excitement.

Another Example:

Person A: Saturnian

Person B: Venusian

Synastry/ Composite: Neptunian

Person B is very in love with Person A and loves the romantic and dreamy time they spent together.

But Person A might feel uneasy or to carried away and confused by the connection since it doesn’t provide any structure or strong foundation to built from. They are just flowing and vibing.

☆ Both easy and harsh aspects in Synastry and Composite are necessary ☆

Hard aspect -> are challenging and not easy but help for each individual to work on the connection, leaving old patterns behind, it enables change easier and glues the couple more together.

Light aspect -> are nice, comfortable, friendly but could enable each person bad habits and not take each other accountable or serious, the connection fades away more quicker.

©2025 millysastroblog All Rights Reserved

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Twelve: [Bring Me The Horizon]

Summary: After Jensen and Jake finish their face-off, you tell Jake how it is. He practices the art of holding himself accountable for his actions, and you get a call that would send you into a downward spiral. Putting you in jeopardy right before your surgery.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion. JEALOUS JAKE!

Word Count: 5.1k

Author Note: WOW and we’re back baby. Another year has passed us by and we are finishing this series. Strap in for the final three episodes of this roller coaster of a series. You never know where we might just end up.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The triangular theory of love is a theory developed by Robert Sternberg. In the context of interpersonal relationships, the three components of love according to the triangular theory are, intimacy, passion, and a decision/commitment component. For Jake, he felt like love was more than just a triangular theory. Love is all-encompassing in every aspect of life. And if you look closely, love can be seen all around us in all different forms. 

“Bradshaw, now’s not the time man,” Jake sighed as he made his way back down the hospital hallway to your room, walking with his shoulders down and his ego battered and bruised. “I gotta fix an issue and my head’s not–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, Rooster interrupted with a crucial question he needed answered now. 

“How is your mother gonna react when I show up to take your kids?” The genuine concern in Bradley’s voice was clear enough for Jake to stay on the line as he walked. “Do I need to be concerned about her calling the cops?” 

“Dude,” Jake groaned to himself in frustration as he walked with purpose down the hall. He could feel his rage and frustration bubbling to the surface with every step he took. Who did this Jensen guy think he was? Who did Jake think he was? You didn’t ask for any of this and you definitely didn’t deserve his tantrum before. “She’s not gonna call the cops on you, just tell her to call me if you have any issues and get Jas to help you.” 

“Your mother is a terrifying woman–” Rooster added, just to rub salt into Jake’s already existing childhood wounds. 

“Well, at least she’s alive.” Jake had never regretted a sentence more in his life. The second he realised what he’d said and who he was speaking to, his heart fell straight out of his arse. “Bradshaw I didn’t mean–” Before Jake had a chance to speak, before he had a chance to explain that he wasn’t talking about Carole—he was talking about you—the line went dead. 

“Fuck!” Jake looked at his phone screen to see the call had indeed been ended. He felt the panic inside his chest. The guilt. 

Jake had developed a pretty uncanny ability to fuck things up. He couldn’t help himself at the moment. He was having a hard time regulating his emotions. It never had been his strong suit, but now it was worse than ever. Perhaps the idea of losing you forever was the cause. Jake couldn’t accept the possibility that there was a good to fair chance you might not walk away from this fight. 

But he could see the bottom of your bed again and where your feet were underneath the breathable hospital blanket that did nothing to keep you warm. With every step Jake took in the hall, he got closer and closer to where he’d left you. And with every step he took he tried to formulate an apology that would reflect his utter sorrow. His pain. His guilt. You were the first person that deserved an apology for Jake’s actions. Bradley would just have to wait. 

In hospitals, people see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be far too easy if it were just drugs, alcohol and cigarettes people were addicted to. The hardest part about kicking an addiction is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason, right?

Often, too often, things start as a normal part of your life and at some point, cross the line into obsessive needs, compulsive out of out-of-control desires. It’s the high people chase. The high that makes everything else…fade away. But nothing could make Jake Seresin fade away. Nothing so far had helped you kick the addiction. Not even when you left. 

The harsh reality about addiction is it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting you that high…stops feeling good and starts to hurt. So when the very person you were addicted to walked back into your hospital room, the hurt started all over again well and truly after the high had died down. 

“Okay,” Jake stopped in his tracks when he saw that look in your eyes. Although a sense of calm washed over him the second he saw you again, he knew he was probably the last person you wanted to see after the way he behaved before. “I recognised I’m in the wrong here.” It was the look he wished he’d never been on the receiving end of again. A look of disappointment mixed with anger, hatred, and, above all, sadness. “I owe you an apology.” 

“No thanks,” The tone you conveyed was sinister. There was no warmth. No love. No room for compassion or empathy. “I’m not interested in another empty apology.” You didn't even look Jake’s way. You just continued on with the little word finder you had picked up in Jensen and Jake’s absence. “If you’re done swinging your dick around in the hall like a psychopath, I need to rest.” 

Jake was stunned. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He knew he deserved that. He knew he’d taken things too far. He knew he’d flown over the handlebars the second Jensen stepped into your room. But it was all out of fear of losing you. Why couldn’t you see that? Jake felt as if he could stand right in front of you and you’d look straight through him. 

“Honey, don’t be like that,” Jake sighed as he took a few steps towards your bedside. The bouquet Jensen had brought you was lying haphazardly on the little bedside cupboard. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did alright, I know, and I promise you I’m trying here.” Jake sighed as he looked at the flowers another man had gone out of his way to buy you. A dying man. 

A dead man walking. 

“I’m glad you’re self-aware,” You replied yet again without paying any mind to Jake’s whereabouts in your room. “Never really was your strong suit.” You murmured just loud enough for Jake to hear your mild insult. You could have said it louder, hell, you should have. But regardless of Jake’s actions…he was an addictive drug. One that made it incredibly hard to kick the habit. One you knew you’d go back to. One you wished loved you the same way you loved him. 

“Jensen knocked some sense into me,” Jake tried his best to explain all the while he tried to hold back the lump in his throat. The kind of lump that brought tears and panic attacks with it. “He was kind enough to set the record straight.” 

“You understand how big of a piece of shit you have to be to say what you said, right?” It was the first time your tone had changed. There was something beyond painful in the way you spoke. Something Jake had tried time and time again not to be the cause of. Heartbreak. Betrayal even. “You jealous, insecure man.” 

For a second, Jake absorbed the blow. He took it on the chin like a champion because nothing you were saying was wrong. He was scared of losing the love of his life in a way that wasn’t just through marriage. 

“I know,” Jake replied as he picked up the bouquet and looked around. He was looking for somewhere to put them. Somewhere to display the beauty that they emulated. Beauty that reflected you. Where could he get a jug or something to put these in? “I don’t have an excuse to give you, honey,” Jake was trying his best to stick to the honesty is the best policy crap he’d been taught as a child. “I’m just, I got so worked up when he came in here knowing more about you than I did and–” 

“Jensen is a friend from group therapy,” You explained yet again. “And this is the last time I’m gonna say it before I let you run off with whatever version of a warped reality you wanna believe but I swear, there isn’t anyone else.” You sat up a little straighter in your bed as you closed your find-a-word book. “I have cancer, Jake. In what world would anyone want me?” 

“You love her, don’t you? You’re in love with my wife, say it.” Jake could hear himself asking the all-important question. He could see himself standing in the hall with the man who had selflessly intertwined his life with yours in order to make you feel less alone in the world.

“Maybe–” Jake vividly heard Jensens reply as he stood staring at the tears that fell down your cheeks. Tears he was the very cause of. “Maybe I love her, but I don’t get a chance to explore that, you do though.” 

“Me?” It was the sincerity in Jake’s voice that broke you as he put the bouquet down where he’d originally found it and made his way to sit beside you on your bed. “I want you forever and the very idea that some guy—some guy I know is a better man than I will ever be—brought you, my wife, flowers when I didn’t? Kills me.” 

“I don’t care about the flowers,” You sighed as Jake wrapped you up in his arms. 

“I know, but I let my own insecurities out in a way I never should have and I’m so sorry for the things I said. You don’t deserve that, ever.” It was genuine. The apology for his actions. Jake knew he was in the wrong with how he acted out. You could very clearly see that he was truly sorry. But letting him know that now would have been too easy. 

The pair of you sat in your hospital bed for the better half of five minutes silently enjoying each other’s presence and gentle touch. Until you broke. 

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to say apology accepted?” You smiled softly as you nuzzled into Jake’s chest a little more. Finding a comfortable position to rest in as you sunk lower in the hospital bed that wasn’t built for two fully grown human beings. 

“Nope,” Jake chuckled as he kissed the top of your head, freshly shaved and matching his own. “And I don’t think Rooster is gonna be accepting any apology I give him anytime soon, so the list is growing.” 

“What happened with Rooster?” You asked cautiously. You felt the tension take over your husband’s body as he processed what you‘d just asked. Jake held you a little tighter as he once again kissed the top of your freshly shaved head. The notes of your shampoo must have seeped into your scalp. He could still vividly smell the residual fragrance of bergamot. 

“Nothing that can’t be explained,” Jake sighed softly. He hated himself with a deep-rooted passion right now. The one thing he wanted to do more than anything else was take you home and pretend everything was alright for just one night. But he couldn’t do that. “Please, don’t worry about my mistakes when you have so much on your plate already. I’ll figure it out. Rooster and I always do.” 

“Hmm,” You replied with hesitation as you let your eyes close. The lup-dup of Jake’s heartrate soothed your soul, a heart that begged to be loved in all the ways he deserved to be loved. “I hope so. Martha Stewart’s best and closest friend said the words that sent her to prison,” You explained all the while Jake’s fingers drew unidentifiable objects into the supple skin of your forearm, careful not to mess with any of the tubes attached to you. It was grounding. “So whatever happened between you and Bradshaw I hope you fix it before he spills all your dirty little military secrets.” 

“Good thing you’re a true crime author, huh?” Jake smiled with a reluctance to give in to his biggest desire. What would be the repercussions of sneaking you out of this hospital right now? 

“No way you’re ending up in one of my books anytime soon,” You giggled softly. Jake felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of your happiness. You felt it too. The moment his heart decided it needed a second to process the laughter you let out. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, honey,” Although the circumstances said otherwise, for a second Jake felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. To be loved by you. To be the one you called home. To be the man you chose would forever be Jake’s greatest accomplishment in life. “I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you in any of them.” 

************************

“No signs of life.” 

There’s a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. They like to pretend they’re hard, cold scientists. They like to pretend they’re fearless. But the truth is they become surgeons because somewhere, deep down, they think they can cut away that which haunts us. 

Weakness, frailty, death. 

It isn’t just surgeons. It’s paramedics too. First responders like to think they have a hand in what fate holds for you. They believe that if they can move a little quicker, stop the bleeding a little faster, and save you from life-threatening injuries, they can give you extra time. Even for just a day. 

But the truth is, we don’t know a single person who isn’t haunted by something…or someone. And whether people try to slice the pain away with a scalpel, pull someone from a car wreck, or shove it in the back of a closet…our efforts usually fail. 

So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest…finally, finally…to rest. 

“Do we have any information on the victim?” Ilona shook her head as her unit chief looked around the scene. A single-car accident. The mangled wreck of twisted aluminium and shattered glass really painted a telling tale of destruction. No one could have survived the magnitude of injuries that they would have sustained on impact. 

“I’ll see if one of the guys picked up a phone or something, perhaps it’s still viable,” Ilona replied in a monotone voice. She was new to the horrors that her job sometimes brought with it. The hurricane forced winds that would sometimes knock her right off her feet. But she was learning how to work through the plethora of different emotions in a professional manner. “Poor guy, what do you think happened?” 

The black body bag laid out on the stretcher was a not-so-gentle reminder that life was a precious gift. Paramedics carried the deceased man until they were loading him into the back of the van. No sirens would be needed for this particular patient. 

“Crash investigation should have a report for us in about a week,” Taylor, the unit chief, replied as he watched the doors to the ambulance close with a thud. “We’ll need to get an ID as soon as possible to inform the family.” 

“I have a phone!!” Ilona heard the explanation from one of her co-workers. She turned with a grin on her face back to her boss. 

“We have a phone,” She repeated. “I’ll get right on it chef.” 

************************

Lydia still felt awful. She hadn’t quite shaken the existential dread that came with her almost career-ending mistake. She sat behind the desk at the nurses station just replaying the events back in her mind. How could she just assume someone to be someone’s emergency contact? 

In retrospect, Lydia now understood clear as daylight that relationships were interpersonal and held deeper value than what was on paper. Jake Seresin may not have been your emergency contact, but he sure was the love of your life. 

“You want me to do her observations?” Lydia heard one of her colleagues ask with a snicker. They all knew by this point in time what she had done. But now wasn’t the time to retreat and fall back. If she wanted to get past this, she needed to put on a brave face. 

“Nope,” Lydia shook her head as he rose to her feet. “I’ve got it,” She explained with a faux smile. “Is he not intimidating?” 

“Mr. Seresin?” Her colleague, Rebecca, replied with a mouthful of two-minute noodles she’d been scoffing down in the small window of reprieve. “Guy’s like a labrador. I mean, that is if you didn’t fuck up his wife’s chart badly enough to call the wrong person labelled clearly as an emergency contact.” 

“Ha. Ha.” Lydia barely had the time or the energy to humour her coworkers as they giggled and snickered as she made her way into your room. Jake was wide awake. He hadn’t noticed Lydia standing in the threshold of the door. But Lydia noticed how he held you with such care as you slept soundly. 

“Oh,” She cooed softly as she knocked her knuckles against the door. “Sorry to interrupt Mr. Seresin but I need to take some observations for Dr. Ignati.” 

“Would it be alright if she slept for even just five more minutes?” Jake was quick to advocate on your behalf. He could tell just how tired and overwhelmed with everything you’d become. Now that he was here and by your side, he was going to make sure you got the best possible treatment there was to offer. 

Lydia looked around at the Christmas lights that hung around your room. They twinkled and changed colour on a whim, never staying the same colour for long. The way they hung like they’d been thrown all over the place added a joyful smile across her face. 

“I’m sure I can take my time,” Lydia agreed as she approached your bedside. “How’s she been feeling?” 

“As good as you’d expect to feel given the circumstances, kid,” Jake replied with a yawn. He was able to stretch his limbs a little as he did so. Although, with every move he cautiously made, Jake was careful not to disturb you. “I assume her surgery is still going ahead as planned?” 

“As far as I’m aware,” Lydia confirmed as she checked over your chart and wrote down what she saw on your monitors. “Dr. Ignati should be around earlier in the morning to discuss everything once more.” 

“How long have you been working here?” Jake asked. He thought some small talk would be beneficial for not only him but for Lydia too. He could tell the question struck a nerve but pressed on nevertheless. “Because if I’m being perfectly honest, it doesn’t seem like very long.” 

“Eight months now,” Lydia replied with a short tone. Jake chuckled to himself as he watched her cross out what she had previously written and wrote down what she had originally intended. “Can you tell I’m also not very good at my job?” 

“It doesn’t seem out of ignorance,” Jake offered up his version of advice. “I just think you’re rushing things.” The advice didn’t fall on deaf ears like Jake thought it might. Instead, Lydia stopped what she was doing and took a nice deep long breath in. “In my line of work, things can go wrong in the blink of an eye,” Jake explained as he gently rubbed small circles into the palm of your hand with his thumb. If he was careful, he could feel the throbbing of your pulse point. “Gotta learn how to trust your instincts.” 

“My last instinct was that you were your wife’s emergency contact,” Lydia didn’t feel as if she needed to remind Jake of her biggest mistake of all time, but she did anyway. Jake understood what it was like to stay hung up on mistakes he couldn’t change. But he knew what he was about to say next would ease the burden Lydia was feeling. 

“Honestly, that’s more on me than it is on you,” Jake sighed as you stirred in his arms. He hoped you‘d stay asleep for just a little longer. You needed it. You deserved to rest soundly. 

“How so?” Lydia asked softly as went back to her duties. What Jake said to her next, however, had Lydia looking at the situation she found herself in from a different perspective. And sometimes a little perspective is all you need. 

“Well, I shouldn’t have let it get to a point where I wasn’t.” 

************************

Life gets easier when you realise that there’s no such thing as a wrong decision. Decisions are simply pivots. Each one you make will take you down a new road that will likely be both magic and miserable. Beautiful and ugly. That’s because life is a polarity. Easy doesn’t exist without hard. Good doesn’t exist without bad. 

There is no right or wrong answer. Trust that whatever decision you make can always be followed by another decision. 

“I hate this,” You mumbled as you walked to the bathroom with your IV support poll. “I already hate all of this so much.” You knew you were feeding into the depression, but you couldn’t help but feel down in the dumps about your current situation. 

“I think everything you’re feeling is valid, honey,” Jake answered as he trailed behind, giving you the independence he knew you wanted to keep but also staying close by in case you needed him. “After surgery–” Jake couldn’t even finish the sentence he’d planned to speak into existence.

“Don’t mention surgery,” You interrupted as you made your way over to the shower. “I don’t even wanna think about the surgery tomorrow.” 

“You do know that even if you ignore it, you still have to have surgery?” Jake asked as he frowned his brows and looked at you through the mirror. “We’re on the same page about that, right?” 

“What if I told you I’m just scared and don’t want anything to happen while I’m cut open like a fish?” You sassed as you looked back at Jake through the mirror. “If something happens–” 

“Hey, nothing's gonna happen,” Jake was quick to close the small gap between the two of you. He stood so close that your back pressed up against his chest. His eyes never left yours through the mirror you stood before. “I won’t let anything happen to you, or the kids for that matter.” 

“You left the kids with your mother,” You reminded your husband as he pressed his lips into a tight line of regret. “That alone is gonna cause them enough trauma Mr. ‘I won’t let anything happen to the kids’”

“You wound me, sweetheart,” Jake sighed as he tilted his head back and let out a sigh. “Besides, it’s actually you she hates, not the kids,” 

“Do you wanna help me shower or not?” You finally turned around to stand face-to-face with Jake. He was already smirking ear to ear. And it didn’t take long at all before his hands were dropping to your waist, slowly but surely making their slightly calloused way to the exposed skin of your ass. The hospital gown left little to the imagination. Jake wasn’t complaining. 

“When have I ever passed up the opportunity to see you naked?” Jake replied with a smirk you recognised was laced with lust. You felt him squeeze softly at your arse cheek playfully. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” 

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” You giggled as Jake made sure to count the staples on your head. He knew whatever came next would have to be soft. It would have to be gentle and full of love. Not that it ever wasn’t full of love. 

“You drive me crazy, honey,” Jake explained as he caught your lips with his. You couldn’t help but to melt into his body as you kissed him back. Jake’s hands kneaded at the handfuls of arse he never wanted to let go of as he moaned into your mouth. 

The feeling was electric. The moan your husband let out sent shivers down your spine. It was an animalistic attraction that you’d tried so hard to suppress in your separation. But no toy on earth could satisfy you like Jake could. Not even when they were bought with his money. 

“I love you so much,” Jake cooed as he pulled back just enough to let his forehead rest against yours. “You’re gonna get through this, I promise,” He left it at that as you wrapped your arms around his waist for a much-needed hug. 

When you let go, you took a moment to drink in the sight of your husband. You stared at all the perfect little imperfections that littered his skin. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than normal. That was to be expected though. 

“Jake?” You cooed as you reached up to swipe the pad of your thumb across his lower lip. 

“I’m right here,” Jake replied as he kept his eyes closed. If he opened them he knew the tears he was trying so desperately to keep in would fall. If he cried in front of you he'd never be able to stop himself. 

“I need you to wake up for me, alright?” 

“What did you say?” Jake frowned as he opened his eyes and looked at you all confused. He knew what you said. He heard it crystal clear. But he needed you to repeat it. He needed to hear you say it again, just once. The fluorescent bathroom light flickered as he stared at you. For a second…Jake stood alone in a hospital room he didn’t recognise. Only for him to find himself standing right before you again in the blink of an eye. “Honey?” 

“I said I need you to get my phone for me?” You repeated calmly. “My phone is ringing and if I try to race to it I won't get there in time.” The explanation fit the response you gave him. Jake thought for a moment there he was going crazy. He needed more sleep, that was without a doubt the answer to his second of madness. 

Jake silently nodded in agreement before he kissed your forehead. He was only gone for a few seconds before he returned with your phone. Still ringing. 

“Who is it?” You asked as you reached out to take your phone from Jake. By the look smeared across his face, it wasn't someone he necessarily liked. 

“It’s your boyfriend,” Jake teased as he handed you your phone. Based on that comment alone you knew it was Jensen. 

“Careful Seresin,” You teased lovingly, hoping Jake believed what you had told him earlier. “He might be my next husband if you don't play your cards right.” 

Jake knew you were kidding and if anything he deserved that comeback. He didn't like the guy, that much was true. But he could see how having someone who knew what it was like to not know your own body could be beneficial to the mind. 

“You caught me at a bad time,” Jake watched as you answered the phone and held it up to your ear. “I–oh,” You paused. The immediate worry that took over the expanse of your face was enough to have the little hairs on the back of Jake's neck standing on edge. 

“Jensen Huges–” The name hung heavy in the air around you as you listened to the woman on the other end of the line. According to her, there had been a small piece of paper tucked into the phone case of this particular phone at the scene of an accident. Your name. Your number. “Oh, no, no don't tell me that,” You begged. 

Jake was unable to hear what was being said in the silence, but as he watched your eyes well with tears, he knew. 

“Y/n, give me the phone, honey,” He whispered as he gestured to your phone. You shook your head in response as you continued to listen to the woman who had introduced herself as Ilona. A police officer with the Rhode Island police. “Sweetheart?” Jake cooed as he reached out for you. The second his fingertips grazed your shoulder…You fell. “Shit–” 

“NOOOOOOO!” The guttural scream you let out scared Jake to his very core. He’d never in his life heard you sound the way you did as you crumbled on the floor in the bathroom. “NOOOOOO!” 

“Baby, baby I'm here, what happened?” Jake asked softly as he cupped your face in his hands. Your phone was long forgotten. It had crashed down when you did. “Tell me what happened so I can help you, honey?” 

“He–he left me,” You managed to gasp out between sobs. “And I can’t–I can’t breathe, Jake, I ca–” 

“Hey, I’ve got you,” Jake promised you as he held you tightly in his arms. “It’s gonna be alright,” Jake seemed to have been in the business of making promises he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep. He had no fucking idea if things would be alright. But he needed them to be. 

“I can't do this without him,” You cried out in utter anguish. “He, he was the st-strongest,” Jake could tell where this was going as you struggled to speak through your grief-stricken sobs. “If he—then I,” 

“I’ve lost count of all the rooms you've been tall in Y/n,” It broke his heart to see you like this. So full of heartbreak. So full of hopelessness. “You gotta keep fighting, I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” 

“I don't know how to!” You admitted to not only yourself but to your husband as well. “I don't know how!” 

“I’m right here, honey,” Jake held you as tight as he could on the bathroom floor. “You don't have a choice,” He explained as you cried your heart out in a way Jake had never seen you cry before. He could hear your voice echoing in his head. 

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“Don't give up on me now Y/n, I can't lose you to this alright?” Jake felt his own tears streaming down his cheeks. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. The way you willed yourself to wake up from this nightmare you were living broke his heart into pieces. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. “Please, you gotta keep fighting this.” 

“He was the stronger one,” You replied as you cried yourself into a ball in Jake's arms. Clutching at his arms as your nails dug into his forearms. Grief was a funny thing. “I can't–” 

“You have to,” Jake cried with you. He was losing the love of his life and there was nothing he could do to stop this nightmare from happening. “I’m gonna be right here every step.” 

“I just want you to wake up,” It was all you said. Jake knew he heard you that time. He heard you loud and clear… “Please, don't leave me,” 

But he had no idea what you were saying. 

**********************************

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @marvelogic

@itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional

@jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere

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@accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989

[seventhartandothers]

The reason why Zooble probably wasn't afraid of Caine saying he would tear them into pieces but is afraid of him punishing them(but he won't do because he likes the main characters, said by themself on episode 4) is because they know that he only does that out of frustration(a "the dog only barks but doesn't bite" situation) and they kind of understand "him" as this never ending cycle of frustration of being criticized but in search of feedback because of his own program but also ignoring said feedback because of his own ego(program).

I mean, this scene is hilarious but you can't say to me that this 360° mood flip wasn't his own programming over riding itself from his own frustration, Zooble is probably used to this.

Caine must be moody as hell and difficult to deal with and by now Zooble probably got a hang of how his mood shifts work, in a way we could say that Caine himself has two sides, the "emotional one" and the AI program over riding itself out of that emotional state, in theory he shouldn't have emotions as he is an AI but maybe because of how long his own program has been running he kind of started developing it which been causing this inner conflict of not feelig enough as his program tells him he should be but also feeling he is enough and that the humans are the ones wrong because his program says he is enough, which makes him frustrated and have more and more anger fits

[vashvana]

Bachira and Isagi’s Relationship is Doomed (Theory):

With the NEL arc having ended, we’ve seen Isagi “sell his soul”. While to me, what this entails in full is still somewhat unclear, one thing is a abundantly apparent: Isagi is losing the sentimentality he once carried for fútbol. He states it himself- in order to survive as a “talented learner” in a world of geniuses with God-given talents, he needs to become a machine. To claw his way to the top, he can’t just ride along the high of his own abilities anymore. No matter how great he can become, there will always those who with random, natural gifts, like Noel and Loki. No matter how hard he fights, the randomness of fate, luck and genetics will override his efforts simply by existing. Now his only purpose is “absolute victory” at all costs, even if it means sacrificing the fundamentals of what being a egotistical striker once meant to him.

How does this relate to Bachira? To start, his and Isagi’s play styles have always been polar opposites. Isagi uses his analytical skills to make up for his lack of notable physicality, while Bachira relies on his dribbling and off-brand instincts, following the unique, sporadic ideas that spur from his monster. However, the two still inherently understand and complement each other from their shared passion. Despite taking the ruthless journey to become number one, they share a love for the game and each other. They want to see each other improve and feed off of each other’s egos. This is why Isagi fills (filled?…) the void of Bachira’s monster. Their greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses, too- Isagi feeling like a second fiddle sheep for his lack of physical gifts, and Bachira’s crazy visions never being understood, isolating him from others- they balance each other out that way.

However, the passion they both once shared has fundamentally changed. Isagi most likely will not view the way he can grow off Bachira’s development in the same light. He won’t view any other players’ talents being steppingstones for his own in the same manner, either. Now, he must take in everything around him like a computer, nothing has personal can be at stake for him anymore, and no relationships can serve him beyond what lies directly in front of him. The sentimentality he and Bachira once he does not serve his new nihilistic mindset. If all the hard work in the world can be outdone simply by lucky genetics, is it even worth it? To outdo fate itself and become the best striker in the world, he has to sacrifice the hope and passion he once shared with Bachira. To make nothing off-limits to win, nothing has to be off-limits to lose, except for total victory itself. Thus, he has to destroy all personal and emotional connections in the game, as they can inherently be a weakness to be exploited; that’s what he’ll be thinking, at least.

We can see this loss of enthusiasm shown in how he refers to himself in the first vs third person at the end of the U-20 vs Japan / NEL arcs respectively. Yoichi Isagi is no longer the scrappy underdog using only his mind to make it up the ranks, he is now the face of the multi-billion dollar soccer corporations, dominating everything that gets in his way. Even to himself, he is just a product, a variable that must be used in whatever way is most optimal to win (16 y/o btw). The bright enthusiasm and determination in his eyes have dulled, being replaced with a cold, distant stare. Instead of the hope he carries for Japan being represented by him in jersey, he is dressed up and is “presentable”, as the only thing on his mind is the business of total victory. The sins of his choices literally surround him, encasing him in darkness, in comparison to the enlightening hope he once carried.

This is not what he bonded over with Bachira. Bachira has assumedly remained true to himself during the NEL, honing in his skills, creativity and ego while still holding a deep love for the sport. We’ll see if this will be enough for him to make it further, as I think it’s unclear if Bachira falls into the category of either “talented learner” or “genius” that Isagi has roped all great players into. Thus, their conflicting ideologies will now inevitably clash, the calculating puppet master vs the free-spirited monster. Before, they were enthusiastic to grow off of each other and take down those who stood in their way, while paying respect to their enemies’ talents. But now, their relationship has no merit in that regards. It is unclear if Isagi will still be equal to Bachira’s monster- was he only able to before because of the untapped potential and passion he held? Will he still be able to predict Bachira’s heart of playfulness with his own cold, detached soul?

Whatever the answer may be, the two cannot maintain their healthy relationship as it once was. In fact, codependency, not just on others, but on one’s own sense of self, is a theme VERY persistent in Blue Lock. Most clearly, we see it in Reo and Nagi. While Reo still held onto his love for Nagi, he was able to flourish as his own player independently. However, Nagi was too afraid and too comfortable to explore his own self worth without Reo and inevitably failed because of that (to Bachira nonetheless, that feels intentional.) Meanwhile, Kaiser and Ness’ development is the opposite of that. Kaiser eventually leaves Ness’ lapdog clinginess for his own similar “absolute” desire for victory against mad geniuses. In his despair, the once subservient Ness makes a play that Kaiser couldn’t catch. The god, once high and mighty in Ness’ eyes, was outsmarted because of his lack of faith and creativity in his former servant. However, Ness still places trust in Kaiser afterwards, now (assumedly) on equal grounds with his former “master”. In the pits of despair, Ness’ once toxic codependency for Kaiser brought both of them to rock bottom, and in that pit, they found the strength to make each other equals.

Reo / Nagi are a pitfall of what Isagi / Bachira could’ve became, and Kaiser / Ness moved up from R/N and became what I/B once was (can you tell I’m getting tired of typing all their names over and over). Now, Isagi and Bachira’s relationship is becoming something different, something worse. Imagine a spectrum of codependency, if you will: Nagi/Reo fall on one side, where their relationship fails because one of them got too comfortable. Kaiser/Ness falls in the middle, because they’ve reached a level of mutual understanding and respect. Isagi/Bachira were once that, but now they’ve crossed over to the other end- their relationship will fail because the basis of what it once was has changed too much.

Where will this leave the two of them by the end? Truly, I don’t know, only time will tell. Something to consider, though, is Snuffy’s words to Barou. Mick Moon killed himself because he made futbol his everything, and had nothing to fall back on when he failed. After hitting rock bottom, Snuffy took the steps to work on his sense of self, which propelled him to his greatest heights, while still being able to be truly happy both in and outside of fútbol; Mick Moon couldn’t find the heart to do that, as he made soccer his entire reason for existing. Isagi is currently following in Mick’s footsteps more than anything. While he may not end up as dire as Mick, if he fails, what will he have? His relationship with Bachira will crumble the same way Snuffy and Mick’s did. If he continues down the path he is on right now, Isagi has two options- to become the next Mick Moon- distraught and agonized by the failure of his own ego- or to become the next Noel Noa- the greatest player alive who (assumedly) sacrificed his sense of personal happiness to become a goal scoring machine.

Extra Tidbit:

This is just my personal theory because he’s my favorite character, but I don’t think Bachira falls strictly into either category of learner or genius. He has the “God-given” gift, not of his dribbling, but of his innate sense of unique and creative plays. Only he and Isagi- for the time being- can understand them (geez audhd allegory much) and it is an edge other players don’t have. But at the same time, the isolation he experienced as a kid, and the fact that his monster often prohibits him from being able to play well with others are all a set back. Thus, he has to adapt and rework his sense of self constantly, compared to the geniuses whose talents give them an automatic edge (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, LOKI). In this way, he is also a talented learner. I’d say Nagi is a little similar to Bachi in this regards, as well. He does have natural talent, but got locked off bc he didn’t focus on honing them in for his own gain. The main obstacle to that was the fact that it’s hard for him to actually care in the first place, which would mean that’s the obstacle that could make him a learner, as well. However, his downfall could also be a commentary on taking your given gifts for granted, so I guess it could go either way. Regardless, I really do think there is substantial evidence to suggest that Bachira might be the exception to Isagi’s current idea of fútbol players. Hell, I might even go as far to say this proves there’s maybe a 10% chance Bachira actually might win and become Blue Lock’s best striker, but that’s just my biases talking. I hope anyone who’s read this far enjoyed this yap session <3

[dearsonico]

Ness is Kaiser's Ball + Theory On Kaiser's Development With Ness

Ness is Kaiser’s ball.

The day Kaiser was first introduced to soccer was on his birthday. He decided that, with the money he’d kept for himself, he wanted to buy something that would stick with him permanently. Anything would do as long as it lasted. Him choosing a soccer ball wasn’t a thoroughly calculated decision, he merely came by it by chance and decided to test it out. But after a lot of experimentation he realized something about himself. He needed something that made him feel alive, and it was exactly what he needed.

How did he figure out the ball makes him feel alive? By pouring all his hatred, malice, and frustrations onto the ball, and relishing in the fact that he gets no reaction from it. It didn’t matter how hard he threw, or how many times he cussed it out, it never cried or got angry with him. After he determined that regardless of what he did, the ball would always return, he decided it was his precious item. There’s a reason why Kaneshiro continually emphasized how the ball kept coming back. 260

Eventually, he also poured all his dreams and aspirations into this ball. It was in this ball that he decided he was set to eat good, get fame, and above all, become human and finally be loved. This ball gave him the possibility of achieving what was previously just baseless talk to fuel his own ego. The chance of freedom. The chance to change the world. And the thing that made Kaiser snap was the threat of his ball being taken away, or his freedom. He had developed an identity through this ball and was willing to fight even his father for it. Kaiser will fight tirelessly for his freedom, and deep down he believes it’ll give him the chance to be loved. 266

Because the ball can’t love him. It’s the most important thing to him, but it’s also simply a means to that end.

As Kaiser trained and got better at soccer, his temperament became his biggest enemy. He's too apathetic. And to be fair, the closest thing in his life at this point had been a ball, and his only frame of reference for engaging in relationships had been his father, who’s shown him nothing but cruelty. He quickly realizes his behavior caused by his tumultuous past would pose a huge roadblock in his advancement within the team.

And that’s how he meets Ness. 261

Just like on his birthday, he sought something that would stick with him permanently, but now also allow him to make an impact on the world. Because now it’s a feasible reality. Unlike the ball, which he could just buy and guarantee possession of (granted his father doesn’t find out), Kaiser needed to adapt to human psychology to ensure his loyalty. His decision is also a lot more calculated in comparison, substituting all authentic human bonds with a perfectly lonely, skilled, loyal dog to compensate for his lack of support within the team. Rather than change himself and adapt to other’s sensibilities, he’d make someone who’d suit him. But both times he came by this “thing” by chance and became dependent on its presence for his development, and both decisions became a necessity beyond his home life. They fulfilled a psychological need to feel human and a burning desire to change the world.

Kaiser had become more strategic with his violence. Now, he hones in his hatred, malice, and cruelty through his plays, and earns his “humanity” through hurting others in the sport and living as a scar within them. He makes up for his struggle to accept kindness and inability to connect by not allowing the possibility in the first place, crushing them instead. We see this in action during his first interaction with Isagi. He’s handsy, bordering physical aggression, in an attempt to intimidate him and invoke his hatred. But when it comes to Ness, the same physical aggression is him simply venting out his emotions. Even though Ness is arguing on his behalf and insulting Isagi the very same way Kaiser does (or ends up doing anyway), his violence doesn’t make Ness feel indignant over the injustice in the slightest. Like his father, Kaiser takes out his anger on Ness to make himself feel human, and like young Kaiser, Ness doesn’t fight or get angry.

What separates hurting others from hurting Ness is that Ness will always come back no matter what. Like the ball, Ness submits to his malice and sides with him no matter how cruel Kaiser is to him or others. Like the ball, Ness became a means to an end; and end of Kaiser making an impact on the world and going on to achieve great heights. And like the ball, eventually Kaiser confided in Ness about his goals for the future, only now it’s a fleshed out plan with attainable steps. Even when Kaiser throws his drink at Ness it doesn’t dissuade Ness from aiding him in it, not even in the slightest. He’s created something that’s essentially the same as his most precious item. 207

In spite of the moral failings within their dynamic, their relationship isn’t entirely for naught. They actually make an amazing good duo. So much so Raichi points out that if he had a midfielder like Ness he would be making incredible scores as well. No matter how predictable their plays had become, together they’ve created a weapon so incredible even Noa acknowledges it may surpass him. The whole team is centered around their style, even though Kaiser takes most credit for it. 162

Kaiser treats Ness horribly. There’s no sugar-coating it. You can beat up a ball as much as you want, but venting your frustrations on a human being is abuse. In spite of this, deep down I believe Kaiser desires to connect with others. After all, he wants to be loved too. But having been treated like a tool his entire life, never wanted or appreciated, where would he learn to love others himself? He only knows appreciation through fame and comfort, and knows being the object of other’s hatred cements him in their minds. He’s only ever been surrounded by malice, and thus can only spread malice in order to grow further. Naturally, the only relationship he could ever really form that has a semblance of compatibility was through underhanded, abusive tactics, emulating the dynamic he has with his ball. Through Ness he continues the cycle of abuse. But in a way, he’d found his ball.

But Ness is not a ball.

Kaiser knows he realistically can’t find love in the ball alone so he uses it as a means to receive it. That only ended up extending to his relationship with Ness. But not only is Ness not a ball, Ness is capable of love, full of love, and is always willing to love him. So much so that he merged his own dream with Kaiser’s and considers him to be the best player he knows. So why is it that Kaiser consistently fails to acknowledge or really recognize something that’s been thrown unconditionally towards him during the years they’ve spent together?

The most natural conclusion is that Ness doesn’t really know Kaiser, just the idealized version fed to him, and thus Ness has never really truly loved Kaiser. Additionally, Kaiser consistently struggles to accept goodwill and Ness is no different. But I want to go deeper and say because Kaiser doesn’t understand relationships, he can’t recognize love. There's no way he realistically could. His apathy historically has and continues to prevent him from engaging with others in any meaningful way. The closest he’s gotten hinges entirely on his success as a player, creating a huge emotional power imbalance, and lacks the mutuality or intimacy proper relationships have. Because of this, I don’t believe he really understands the extent of Ness’s love for him, as insane as that may seem. He also doesn’t view Ness as an individual, so he could never understand what his love means for him. To him, Ness only knows how to bounce back.

Up until partnering with Ness the closest company he had had been a ball, and balls do not have emotions nor a sense of self. The only purpose they serve is to bounce back. And once again, Kaiser only built this “relationship” with the ball through realizing that using it as an outlet for his negative emotions won’t chase it away. He can’t help but react negatively to kindness, but still needed something that could withstand that bad habit of his and remain with him. Seeing as having an ever present “item” continued being the most important thing, naturally he would extend that to the very few interpersonal relationships he would allow. That’s why he “created” Alexis Ness. He made someone that acts no different from his ball. Not only does he treat Ness like a ball, he made it so Ness was also unchanging like a ball. And for years he was successful. Even after abandoning him, Ness kept coming back like a ball, almost to their detriment.

But this became the main reason for Kaiser’s failure. He couldn’t fathom the idea of Ness evolving on his own, becoming more than a supporting character for his story, so much so that he himself abandoned the concept of being a machine and succumbed to the comfort he was so certain Ness would always provide. He’d created a massive, fundamental dissonance within the only relationship he was able to hold onto for years through his inability to recognize Ness as a person. Because unlike a ball, Ness cries, gets angry, and fights back. It had just always been on Kaiser’s behalf. And Kaiser’s attempts to manipulate, stifle, or berate him for his emotions for it only made him blinder to that fact.

I think people should look at Isagi’s question more deeply. “Kaiser, is Ness special to you?” Through deeming Ness worthless, he marked him as special and thus treated him differently. But what about that specifically is unique to Ness? Kaiser has done nothing but treat everyone else as worthless, and when he decided to evolve without Ness, Ness had simply become a part of that category, especially with how useless his plays became. Additionally, why would Isagi come to this conclusion now? It’s clear to anyone with eyes that they have an (at the very least) unique relationship, if you could consider the attention Ness gets “special”, and even then it remained shallow on Kaiser’s behalf. And keep in mind it was Ness’s final pass that made Isagi realize Ness is truly special to Kaiser, why’s that?

Kaiser wants the same comfort he got from his ball in another human, but lacks the capability to deal with what being alongside another human entails. Kaiser’s entire thing up until PXG vs BM was finding loopholes to compensate for his weaknesses. The same goes for relationships; all this time he’s put himself at a comfortable distance. Rather than learning to work alongside his teammates and build connections, he made a loyal dog. Rather than forming a natural connection with Ness, he was manipulative. When Ness has the nerve to be open about his emotions, he’s quick to shut them down and degrade him. And because Ness suppresses some of his emotions around him, to Kaiser they simply do not exist. But there isn’t a cheat to creating relationships, and as much as he objectifies Ness that won’t get rid of his humanity. No amount of psychology could remove Ness’s humanity. This only means they truly don’t understand each other. Ness comes back because he’s a stubborn person. Ness trusts Kaiser because he believes in the magic in him. And Ness challenged Kaiser because deep down, he wants to prove that the person he’s been following all this time is truly the greatest player he’s always believed him to be. All of that is intrinsic to the person Ness is, beyond all the psychological warfare inflicted upon him for years. Kaneshiro even went as far as to say Ness spends a majority of his time with Kaiser, and I doubt Kaiser has other friends to hang out with. The only way could Kaiser miss all of that from a person he’s been with for years is if he doesn’t understand relationships. 

And all this time he hasn’t made any visible effort to mend his issue with relationships either. We saw that during PXG vs BM, he’s able to make quick adjustments to improve his skills, important realizations to rework his mentality, and is generally objective even while arrogant. He’s highly adaptive, which can also be accredited to him being a talented learner. He can even attempt to work with the others, if not forcing cooperation when necessary. To prove this, he went as far as abandoning Ness, hoping to make up for his weaknesses Ness had always cushioned thus far. But Kaiser was never actually prepared to lose Ness, being able to play without him only gave that illusion.

Because Kaiser failed to mend the one thing that had consistently held him back, his relationships with others, it became the thing that bit him in the ass. His final reflection after the conclusion of PXG vs BM is truly emblematic of this problem. He understood that he was at fault for not reading Ness’s mind when he could and for writing him off entirely and thus costing himself an entire goal and potential evolution. But he believed this only happened because he let go of his malice for Isagi, which is why Kaneshiro redirects the focus back onto Ness and has Isagi interject. He asks if Ness is special to Kaiser, to which we don’t get a response. But he is. It’s because Ness is special to him that he could STILL have these conflicting emotions, and it’s because he’s never experienced anyone like Ness that he could still remain totally oblivious to it. I mean, just a few minutes prior he was screaming his lungs out at Ness just for the mere possibility of Ness abandoning him even AFTER telling him to fuck off and find a new king. Imagine the amount of disconnect you must have to then chalk up your loss to you losing your malice rather than your obvious, deep-rooted dependence. 294

The reason why relationships remained a huge roadblock up until this point, and the reason Isagi determined Ness is special to Kaiser, is because Kaiser doesn’t want to let go of the idea of relationships entirely. He was able to let go of his malice and become a machine, but was so convinced Ness was unchanging that he abandoned all of his work thus far and got furious at the thought of Ness moving on. Kaiser’s relationships were doomed the moment his identity became dependent on having an item that withstands his horrible behavior as opposed to mutual coexistence. He wants love, but when he receives it he either pushes it away or simply doesn’t recognize it. He wants connection with others, but only knows how to engage in relationships through objectifying humans and morphing them into something functionally indistinguishable from his most precious item. But no amount of manipulation could bypass Ness’s humanity, in the same way no amount of hatred he could receive could help him recognize his own.

I think the best way for them to begin to mend their relationship is being able to see each other for who they really are. All this time, Ness has been praising the idolized version Kaiser has fed him. He has to understand the extent of his manipulation and abuse, and be able to decide for himself whether he’ll choose to love someone like that. Similarly, Kaiser has always considered Ness to be a non-autonomous inherently subservient individual whose individuality he could suppress if it ever got overwhelming. But humans are more complex than dark psychology books, and Ness clearly has individuality he must take control of himself. I also think the most challenging thing Kaiser could do is receive Ness’ unconditional love, even if he's not the player Ness always imagined, even if he’s at his lowest point, and receiving it head-on without any attempts to push away, mock, or degrade him. Of course, assuming that by then Kaiser deserves to receive it from him.

—

This is a theory I've been enamored with and decided to expand upon, and honestly I've found too many thematic similarities to say it's entirely unintentional or means nothing.

[pascalissmoked]

Hello, I am wondering if u take request for a Tony Stark x female reader, who is also best friend of Tony Stark before he came Iron Man but she has been by his side through everything as well. But it’s a fluff one shot as at the end where they both reveal their feelings for each other which they had from the moment they met and they have their first kiss between them as well.

Ofcoursee, here it is! Hope you like it :)

Virtual Insanity

Summary: In which the infamous line "make love not war" isn't well-respected by this pair of friends. When cyberbullying at Stark industries level develops into a game between these two collegues and friends, something more begins to unravel between the two.

Word Count: 1.7K Warnings: none except Tony's unsufferable ego (all jokes)

A/N: This is a short oneshot. Might turn into more. I'm also still working on the "Soft in the right hands" series for bucky so stay tuned!

You’d known Tony Stark long enough to remember when he didn’t wear the suit — physically or emotionally.

Back then, he was all sharp smiles and sharper intellect, more interested in building arc reactors with cocktail napkin schematics than charming investors. Reckless with nearly everything except the way he treated you. Somehow, against all odds, you’d slipped past the velvet rope that guarded the real him — the sleepless inventor who showed up on your fire escape at 3AM with a bottle of Scotch and a theory about thermal diffusion that couldn’t wait till morning.

You were best friends before Afghanistan. Before Iron Man. Before Stark Tower had its own AI department and a floor reserved just for “Tony’s regrets, part I through XXV.”

And none of that stopped him from hacking your firewall during lunch.

You were approximately three minutes into a well-deserved lunch break — grilled cheese in hand, Spotify playlist on shuffle, and the sanctity of a lab entirely free of explosions — when your firewall went up in flames.

Digitally speaking.

The code on your main monitor began to twitch. Literally twitch. Then twist. And then it smiled at you. A little pixelated smiley face blinked up from the line of code you’d just written, followed by a dancing ASCII cat wearing sunglasses.

“Oh my God,” you muttered, setting your sandwich down like it had betrayed you.

You knew that coding style.

You knew exactly who was responsible.

With the patience of a saint and the energy of someone who was one click away from snapping, you launched into the system’s backend, pulling apart the layers of the digital graffiti with expert ease, unraveling each line of smug Stark-ware. And sure enough, right at the root folder, embedded in a hidden command string, was a line of text:

"Nice firewall, sweetheart. 7/10. Would hack again. - T.S."

Your eye twitched. Your soul twitched.

He didn’t just breach your system. He decorated it. That wasn’t a hack — it was a housewarming party in enemy territory.

The man had billions of dollars, a global tech empire, multiple Iron Man suits, and — apparently — nothing better to do than hack into your secure files during his downtime like a caffeinated raccoon with a superiority complex.

You were going to kill him. Slowly. Or worse — give him a lecture so long and boring it could be classified as psychological warfare.

And thus, the war began.

With your jaw clenched and your heart pounding in that very specific, very annoying way it only ever did around Tony, you stormed out of your lab and stomped down the hallway of Stark Tower.

You bypassed three interns and a mildly offended elevator AI before slamming open his door like righteous judgment. Finally, you flung open the doors to his R&D suite without knocking.

Tony didn’t flinch.

Sleeves rolled up, arc reactor glowing, fingers dancing across a holographic interface. He looked up. Grinned.

“Hey, sunshine,” Tony said lazily from behind a table cluttered with open panels, a half-dismantled drone, and at least three coffee cups. “I was just thinking about you."

“You’re a menace.”

“I’ve been called worse.” He finally looked up, dark eyes glinting with amusement. “But usually by people who didn’t bother updating their encryption protocols.”

You crossed your arms. “You hacked into my system during lunch, Stark. That’s below the belt. I was eating grilled cheese.”

“Maybe next time add some brie and fig jam. Class it up a little.” He grinned. “You’re welcome, by the way. I just gave you a free security audit.”

You stared at him, deadpan. “Did your ego eat your moral compass for breakfast?”

He stood, sauntering over like confidence incarnate in a Henley and jeans, and leaned against the edge of the workbench — arms crossed, smirk fully loaded.

“I’d argue my ego is my moral compass. And it always points due north to: mess with you.”

“You hacked my system,” you repeated.

He tilted his head. “If I can break in, so can Hydra. I’m doing you a favor.”

You crossed your arms. “This is the third time this month you've done something like this. Last week, you turned my digital assistant into a sassy version of yourself. I had to argue with my microwave for twenty minutes before it would heat my soup.”

He beamed. “He’s got a personality now! Named him Toasty.”

“I’m going to rewrite your DNA.”

“Only if we cuddle after.”

You were going to scream. Or kiss him. It was a very fine line these days.

“I’m going to kill you,” you said conversationally.

He grinned wider. “You’re going to miss me.”

So instead, you narrowed your eyes and said, “I hope you like Shakespeare just as much as JARVIS does.”

He blinked. “What?”

You pulled your phone from your pocket, already typing."Your little AI pet seems to have brushed up on his Shakespeare, because he’s about to speak exclusively in iambic pentameter for the next twenty-four hours."

“Wait. No—”

“And make all puns food-themed.”

Tony’s jaw dropped. “You’re a monster.”

You shrugged, already walking toward the door. “Some people bake sourdough for fun. I emotionally sabotage billionaire AIs.”

Tony groaned. “JARVIS

, don’t you dare—”

“Verily, sir,” JARVIS chimed in serenely from the overhead speaker, “I find thy attitude rather cheesy, like brie upon a croissant most greasy.”

Tony’s head hit the desk.

You smirked. “Toasty says hi.”

It went on like that for weeks.

Tony retaliated by installing a movement sensor in your lab. Every time you entered, SexyBack blared at full volume. FRIDAY wouldn’t let you disable it. She said it was “legally classified as a morale booster.”.

It was a war.

You replaced his AI’s voice with Gilbert Gottfried reading Twilight.

Tony responded by having your smartwatch shout hourly affirmations about his hair.

You hacked his suit’s startup sequence. Now it greeted him with:

“Iron Man: The Human Hot Pocket. Online.”

It didn’t stop there.

He replaced your screensaver with a live feed of himself winking, finger guns included.

You programmed his coffee maker to scream “INCOMING!” every time it dispensed espresso.

Naturally, collateral damage was inevitable.

Bruce’s tablet was cursed to play Baby Shark whenever opened. He developed a twitch.

Sam’s Falcon gear announced all takeoffs with: “I’m a little teapot, short and stout.”

Steve’s toaster quoted Pride and Prejudice in Cher’s voice.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged,” it belted one morning, “that a single man in possession of breakfast must be in want of jam.”

He punched a wall. You both got fined.

Even Clint, ever the stealthy one, wasn’t spared. Every time he drew an arrow, it whispered “pew pew” in Tony’s voice.

The tower teetered on the brink of chaos.

Pepper threatened to move to Dubai.

It was late.

The Tower was asleep, mostly. Except for Tony, who you found in the R&D lounge, hoodie on, arc reactor glowing soft under worn fabric. He looked… still. A rare moment for a man who moved like his thoughts could outrun time.

“You gonna yell at me for the coffee pot thing?” he asked, not looking up.

“I should,” you said, easing into the seat beside him. “FRIDAY tried to launch a counterstrike when I made a cappuccino.”

“She’s passionate.”

Silence fell. He just stared at you like he was debating something he’d rehearsed a hundred times in his head.

You blinked. “What?”

Tony opened his mouth. Closed it. Then, “Do you want me to stop?”

You frowned. “Stop what?”

“The pranks. The hacking. I mean, I know it’s probably childish and annoying and… I don’t know. Maybe I just like having a reason to see you all worked up, to just see you more.”

You sat back, heart thudding.

“That,” you said slowly, “is the least emotionally articulate confession I’ve ever heard.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well. I build flying suits, not feelings.”

You stood and walked over, stopping inches from him. His breath hitched, and yours did too.

“For the record,” you said, “I love your flying suits. But I also kind of love… this.”

He blinked. “The chaos?”

“The banter. The sabotage. The way your face lights up when you think you’ve outsmarted me, even though I’m always two steps ahead.”

“Debatable,” he muttered.

You leaned in, lips brushing the shell of his ear.

“And I love the way you look at me like I’m the only firewall you’ve never wanted to break.”

He stilled.

Then: “I’ve been in love with you since the day you fried that Russian botnet and called it ‘a poorly coded insult to my intelligence.’”

You smiled.

And then, you kissed him.

It was messy and hot and gloriously overdue. His hands cupped your face like he’d been dying to do it for years, and your fingers curled into his shirt like gravity had given up and he was your anchor now.

When you finally pulled back, breathless, he whispered, “I should have hacked you sooner.”

You smacked his shoulder. “Shut up and kiss me again.”

He did.

And that night, neither of you changed each other’s passwords.

You called a truce.

Sort of.

Now your prank war has a rulebook and a scoreboard. Nat is the referee. Bruce runs support (begrudgingly). Steve is still in therapy.

JARVIS still speaks in sonnets during thunderstorms. Toasty hosts a podcast. FRIDAY hosts a revenge fund.

A year later, Tony proposed via custom hologram code embedded in your firewall — romantic, glitchy, and absolutely extra.

You said yes.

And now, sometimes, late at night, you’ll find yourselves coding side-by-side, teasing each other like always — except now, there’s no more pretending.

Just love. Loud, messy, sarcastic love. With bad lighting, too much coffee, and more happiness than either of you thought you’d ever deserve.

And every morning, when you walk into the lab, “SexyBack” still plays.

You don’t stop it anymore.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Don't hesitate to leave a comment behind <3

[princesssmars]

victoria with lab tech reader…nsfw.

when you were approached at your basic post-grad biomedical science research program with the opportunity to "study and develop a potentially groundbreaking medication", you immediately, but politely, called bullshit. but your boss and coworkers encouraged you once they heard the pay, so you accepted.

it was…challenging to say the least.

the lab and the workers were shady as hell, not telling you any details about the company you were working for, if you were even working for a company, what exactly this medication was for, etc etc. but the pay really was good, enough to help you splurge on yourself while also saving and paying off your student loans, so you couldn’t really complain.

after about two months of great work and progress on your tasks, the leads of your team told you that one of the head donors would like to “talk about utilizing your full potential”. you were expecting further praise for your work and maybe a pay boost, not to walk into an office with the super attractive congresswoman you’d seen on tv sitting at the desk.

she has just as much mysterious charisma as she had then, keeping eye contact as she pulls out your chair, waiting for you to sit before she places herself on top of the desk, pantsuit-covered leg only a few inches from yours. she gives you a mini rundown of why she personally picked you out from your university and she's been keeping a close eye on your personal progress to develop a cure for an unknown but deadly disease you had been keeping track of.

"so that's why im here? we're working on a disease?"

"yeah, you could say that."

her smile unnerves you but you don't mention it. nor do you bring up how weird it feels that a congresswoman would be following your manic studies over a disease that only ten thousand people in the world had. you do have to reel in your ego slightly, figuring this meant that your theories were legitimate.

things are weird after that. now that you have some more hints about what you are actually doing your work starts to move along slowly, even impressing your lead with the progress you started to make.

ok, maybe a tiny little part of it was so that when victoria came in on her weekly walk-throughs she'd observe your work and give you that pretty smile of hers, maybe even a 'great job, hun' if you were lucky.

as the weeks went by and the medication came along her affection only grew in intensity, from leaving coffee at your workstation to inviting you to take lunch breaks with her. it was odd and completely unprofessional, but when those slender fingers would move one of your stray hairs back in place while telling a story you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

but then it happens - that dreaded period in any medical science where just one stupid little thing stumps you for a week. you should be used to it at this point, having been through this process since you bought your first microscope in middle school. it doesn't make it any easier to power through though, especially when you know everyone on your team is depending on you to finish up your labs.

so now you've resorted to this, three red bulls and a heap of paperwork around you while you frantically rework the math on some of the work you need to turn in. you're a few minutes away from slumping over when a loud door slam forces you upright, looking to the entryway to make eye contact with victoria.

you dont know how it happens but you go from hunched over in your chair to lying on the comfy couch in her office, a short blanket draped over your body as you drowsily explain your conundrum to the older woman. she nods along the entire time, a soft hand rubbing up and down the bare expanse of your arm while she listens to your rambling.

'what on earth are you doing?' your brain asks yourself when you shift closer to her body that's sitting next to you, head delicately resting in her lap. 'are you really going to jeopardize your career like this?' when your eyes flutter when she runs her hand over your cheek and down your neck. she leans her head down ever so slowly until her lips are just barely pressing into yours, corners pulling up when she sees you arch your back in wait for her neck action.

"but you'll figure it out for me, won't you smart girl?"

you solved the problem the next morning.

i dont even wanna write for her GIVE HER BACK TO ME

[rassicas]

Hey!!! question here

i can’t seem to find. any info at ALL on fuzzy ooze besides fan theories. I was curious if there was any process of mammalisation revealed anywhere?? Im assuming not cus we only recently got sanitisation up to scratch. But is there any important info on fuzzy octos at all? CEO of splatoon lore pls help!!

i was really looking forward to the S3 artbook giving us SOMETHING about fuzzy ooze or filling in any of the numerous gaps in ROTM's story. cannot begin to express how disappointed i was when i opened up the artbook to find that THIS was the only page on fuzzy octarians

the blurb on the top can be boiled down to "why are octavio's troops in alterna? wow theyre fuzzy. do they even have any ego left?" like ok that's just. basic observations and things that were mentioned in promo materials. and we cant say this is like out of spoiler avoidance because the previous page has (also very little) concepts for hugefry and grizz. go girl give us nothing! In terms of dev interviews, the april 2023 famitsu interview has 2 questions regarding fuzzy octos:

----Was it the effects of the fuzzy ooze that caused the Octarians in Alterna to grow hair? Inoue: under the effects of the fuzzy ooze, they're on the verge of becoming mammals.  ----In the case of the new Agent 3, when they come into contact with the ooze they suddenly grow hair. Are the Octarians supposed to be in the middle stage? Inoue: That’s right.

Within less than a year of Octo expansion's release, we got a few dev interviews and a whole artbook giving further clarification on sanitization, tartar's motives, the octarians in the metro...even though some elements were unclear until side order and some responses were dodgy, there still was something to work with and some gaps filled.

in the two years since ROTM we got uh. the one dev interview, which, while that did explain a few things with alterna and smallfry, gave us Nothing about fuzzification or mammalization. whatever it's called. aside from those 2 answers above. is the process reversible? how did grizz get all those troops? why is there an octoplush track that uses dedf1sh's naming scheme? oh yeah, and literally nothing about ORCA or any expansion on grizz's character in ROTM. ORCA goes completely unmentioned in the artbook. hello. im getting side tracked.

and before we couldve gotten another chance for answers on ROTM, side order came out, and all focus in terms of splatoon's story got directed towards that.

I will be genuinely surprised if bancalawalker gives us anything on ROTM since that's seems to be the side order/later update artbook my only hope is that, since there's some suspicious things unanswered for about lil judd and grizzco, maybe, hard maybe, the fuzzy octarians could be addressed in any capacity again, like how side order expanded on OE? But idk it seemed like ROTM was a way to just wrap up the squidbeak saga and they could just Not mention it again lol. one last thing. these amped octostamps, an enemy introduced in rotm, have full 3d renders. notice a uh. lack of fur.

or another wacky thing. is how the only artwork we have of an octarian (non octoling) in the tableturf style is a normal non fuzzy octotrooper.

my Game Theory is that. i think rotm had some... late in development decisions in terms of story direction, with the fuzzy octarians being one of those later decisions.

[loganslowdown4]

‘I thought I was your hero’

‘You are!’

Incoming Long Roman Theory…

❤️🤍❤️🤍❤️🤍

Rewatching POF and Roman’s struggle with questioning what cThomas really believes based on what Janus implied made me realize something about how we look at the word ‘HERO’ in Roman’s vocabulary. I don’t think Roman has ever meant ‘hero’ in the swashbuckling, saving people, fighting villains, heroic sense (even though he acts like it and I’m sure casts himself that way in the imagination). WHAT HE ACTUALLY MEANS when Roman asked if he is a HERO, is if he is still the FACE or embodiment of how Thomas presents himself as a ‘hero’ in real life: aka a morally upstanding person.

In POF, Patton and Roman discuss why we have morals and how we use them to do good in the world. It is important to note that this episode was mainly a discussion between Patton and Roman for a reason: because if Patton is the moral BRAIN behind all Thomas’ decisions, then Roman is the FACE of all the moral decisions Patton makes. He follows Patton’s lead and acts as the ‘hero’ (and this is what the ego really does). So as the ‘FACE’ of Thomas, any actions taken means Roman is the one getting all the praise first hand, but is also taking the brunt of the criticisms too. For example, when Thomas went to that musical audition and forgot the words to the music, Roman hid. He was a ‘bruised ego’, getting the brunt of the criticism (or what he thought was worse than actually was). Roman has called himself a knight, a warrior, and a big reason why is that he faces all ‘battles’ of Thomas’ head on. It’s not just for the charming fairytale fanciful aesthetic (maybe it started that way). But I believe Roman’s character has developed into this complexity.

Roman’s role is to protect Thomas not only from objective criticisms, but also from failures of a moral decision. It explains why it was Roman who ultimately made the call to go to the wedding and not the callback. Even though Patton lost that debate in the courtroom, Roman knew that the morally correct decision was always to go support Thomas’ friends. He stood up and was the hero Patton and Thomas needed, despite any other disagreements or backlash. He knew that there was risk in this decision either way and it took a lot of strength to make that choice.

Here, Roman, saying that it was his fault for making the decision difficult to go to the wedding or callback, shows his willingness to take the brunt of any criticism, ultimately being the hero. He’s a drama king for real, but Thomas knew it wasn’t Roman’s fault for making the decision hard or even making the decision in the first place, and said so. Still, Roman tries because if it helps makes Thomas feel better, he’s willing to do it.

Another thing I need to point out: Roman getting upset when Patton said when doing anything charitable or morally correct, you can’t take ANYTHING away from it, including self-satisfaction or PRIDE. Roman is literally Thomas’ PRIDE and EGO. Denying Roman his pride, when he is constantly working to keep all of them safe from criticism, means he’s not allowed to be at all satified by the GOOD MORAL WORK he does do. It’s no wonder it felt unfair to him.

Finally, when Janus criticized the moral standard that Patton and Roman are trying to have Thomas live up to, Roman was personally offended. He has been doing his best to show the world that Thomas is a good person (which he is).

Here, when Roman is questioning how selfish Thomas will be before he feels ‘satisfied’ he says ‘you’ll have us believe that that time will never come’ which means that doing ANYTHING morally good, even the bare minimum, will deserve a reward, self-satifaction and more selfish time spent. This change in moral trajectory goes against what Roman has worked so hard for, following Patton’s lead and making those sacrifices. At the end, Patton’s main goal was changed to keep Thomas happy, which looked like he basically gave up and switched allegiance to Janus’ new plan. Does this mean Janus is the new ‘face’ of how Thomas presents himself and not Roman? THIS is why Roman left like he did; it felt like a betrayal.

There’s a lot unresolved and a lot that Thomas has to work out with Roman. But ultimately, Roman will always be a hero. He’ll be Thomas’ hero. Because he’s the one that makes Thomas a hero to everyone else. Time will tell and we shall see!