#emerge and manifest and let yourself love and be loved

[teejaystumbles]

Well, you were laid in verse Living on a promised word I am the rose you relinquished again You and I are down headfirst In another world I heard But I have a feeling we're close to the end So, come on, come on Out from underneath, who you were Come on, come out now You know that it's time to emerge

So go ahead and wrap your arms around me [Emergence - Sleep Token]

[scarletbit]

Sunshine and rain / bob reynolds

paring: bob reynolds x avengers!reader summary: you were sick, tired, bitter, and bleeding. you were the worst kind of patient - he shows up anyway. word count: 1.1k genre: fluff a/n: It felt mandatory to have a sick day drabble.

You were being punished. There was no other explanation for the incessant pounding in your head. Every terrible decision you’ve ever made has manifested in the pressure in your sinuses and the ache that pulsed through your left abdomen.

All your years of guerrilla training had equipped you with all the traits that made a good soldier, but it didn’t prepare you for the cruel combination of having the flu after being shot in the stomach. All because of a one second delay in evading the bullet that wasn’t even directed at you. And no matter what Bucky claims he saw; it was just one second.

“I don’t deserve this” you murmured to yourself, turning over in your blanket riddled cot that would have once been called a bed but was of now what you expected to be your final resting place.

When the knock on your door first came you were sure it was finally your time. For the first time in your life, you thanked whatever higher being was taking mercy on you.

The louder second knock was much more unwelcome.

“What?” you groaned into your pillow, too tired and too annoyed to direct any niceties at whoever stood on the other side.

The door began to open, a familiar figure emerging.

“Hi,” Bob stood in the doorframe. His eyes darted around your room, anticipating a dismissal when you realized it wasn’t some urgent situation, just him.

When it never came, he inched forward. You were still busy trying to comprehend the new presence in your room with that sickness induced haze still clouding your mind.

“Yelena told me to check in on you” he raised his hands “said i should ‘make sure you weren’t dead’” he finished with air quotes, a brief grin adorning his lips.

“A few more minutes and I will be” you mustered out, eyes finally focusing on his figure.

On most days you welcomed Bob’s sheepish charm and attempts at conversation. Today, however, when you felt like severing your head from your spinal cord just to get a respite from your somehow worsening headache, it was much harder to converse.

“Look, Bob” You sighed, trying your absolute hardest to avoid what Ava would (incorrectly, of course) label as an “outburst” and remain calm. Even in sickness, you didn’t want to agitate Bob. Especially when he was simply showcasing his unique style of helpfulness. “I’ll survive” you asserted.

“Yelena said you’d feel better if you left your room” he mumbled, newfound caution surrounded his words.

“I promise if Yelena was in my place she’d shoot you just for suggesting that.” you remarked. You flopped on your back, gaze shifting away from Bob back to the spot on your ceiling you’d very recently designated your favorite.

Bob’s eyes narrowed as he thought about the best way to go about this situation. He wanted to make himself useful. Do this for Yelena and help you feel better. “We could watch a movie” he offered not so much at you but rather at the pile of sheets that resembled your figure.

You groaned loudly, then winced when the sound reverberated in your skull. The idea of listening to more people talking, or worse, the loud explosion that were undoubtedly in whatever action movie Bob was probably thinking about was one you truly couldn’t stomach.

“Please, no more noises” You begged, moving your pillow over your head. You hoped it’d smother you.

“It’s a silent film” he insisted, holding his palms in front of him defensively “no more noises” he reassured you, “promise” he smiled, letting his hands fall when you peaked your head from its hiding place. It wouldn’t be a terrible idea to abandon the tomb you’d been holed up in for the past day.

Sensing your resolve weakening, Bob went in with his finisher “I can make that one soup you like.”

“Sold” no hesitation. You loved that fucking soup, and Bob was surprisingly good at making it. Granted, it wasn’t the most demanding task. You began gathering all your blankets and steading yourself on your right side to finally rise from your bed. Bob leaned forward, hand stretched out to offer you a hand

“Oh, I can…” he started as he reached for you.

“I got it.” you cut him off curtly, shoving his hand away before it touched yours. The worst part about being out of commission was the weakness. Like everyone else who resided in this tower, you really hated being weak. Even more maddening was the idea of being perceived as such.

Bob retracted his arm and straightened his back, standing awkwardly by your door. You realized maybe that was one of those “outburst” Ava liked to mention. Where Yelena, Ava, and even Walker, would call you out when you became cross, you knew Bob was different than all of you. Gentler. You’d seen him get annoyed plenty of time, but unlike the rest of the maverick members that composed the thunderbolts, he was rarely combative. You knew he wouldn’t call you out, even when you really deserved it. For example, like if you were being snappy after he just trying to help you on an especially terrible day. You could’ve apologized, but you lowered your head and started for the door.

Bob turned to let you walk past him through your bedroom door. He smiled as he saw you beeline for the living room couch, relieved you’d accepted his invitation and more relieved he wouldn’t have to report news of your death to Yelena.

A couple hours later, with a warm bowl of a soup in your hand and black and white figures moving about on screen, you turned to Bob.

“Thanks” you murmured.

You meant it, you were thankful for everything. You were thankful that he willed himself to deal with you when you were sick, wounded, and irritable. You were thankful for the movie selection, his attempt at helping you, and for continuing to do so after your ‘outburst’, even though you wouldn’t have blamed him if he retracted the offer altogether. You were thankful that this wasn’t the first time he’d offered a helping hand since you’d both found a home within these walls.

When Bob turned to face you, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he attempted to interpret the only word you’d said since leaving your bedroom.

You couldn’t decide which part you were most thankful for or how to express that to him. Would there be any point even if you could? When you’d relied on actions your entire life, words had such little meaning. There was so much to thank him for that nothing came to mind at all anymore. So, you landed on the simplest.

“For the soup.”

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️

🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️🦂🌱🌀🕸️

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

With a new month approaching, new paradigm shifts and personal transformations are unfolding in your life. Summer is about to heat up—we’re stepping into brighter, longer, and sunnier days, embracing the beauty, boldness, and vibrancy that the season brings.

We’re also entering the end of the school year for many. People are graduating, finishing chapters, and transitioning into new ones. It’s the season of vacations, celebrations, and spending quality time doing what you love. The collective energy is rising—and with that, a deeper question emerges:

What new shifts are arriving in your life?

What cycle are you stepping into?

What is unfolding for your soul in this next phase?

Today, we’re going to explore that. You’ll be guided to pick a pile, and through that, you’ll receive a message about your next life cycle—what’s happening beneath the surface, what themes are emerging, and how your soul is evolving.

This is more than just a reading—this is a soul progression, a glimpse into your spiritual growth and personal evolution. These messages are meant to help you center yourself, understand the energetic patterns at play, and ground into the journey ahead.

So take a moment.

Breathe deeply.

Relax your body.

Tune into your essence.

Then, choose the image that calls to your spirit—whichever one feels aligned with your identity, your frequency, your soul’s truth.

Once you’ve chosen, scroll down and receive your reading.

Let it speak to you. Let it guide you.

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

Pile 1

For many of you, blessings are arriving—and not just ones you’ll feel… but ones you’ll see.

Your next cycle is incredibly opportunistic. It carries material abundance, steady growth, clarity, and tangible fulfillment. You are entering a season where you won’t just sense the shift—you’ll witness it. In your finances. In your foundation. In the way life meets you where you are.

✨ This is a time of wish fulfillment.

Not just dreams, but manifestation. You’re learning that not every anxious pull or gut-feeling needs immediate action. You’re learning to slow down, to trust, and to listen—without always needing to jump.

You’re approaching life with more emotional maturity, grounding, and wisdom. You no longer feel the need to chase relentlessly. You’re moving with intentionality, not urgency. There’s a quiet confidence settling in your bones now.

You’re becoming more practical—not because your dreams have shrunk, but because your approach has evolved. You’re now asking:

➤ What’s sustainable?

➤ What’s aligned?

➤ What can I truly handle and nurture well?

You’re releasing the weight of over-obligation. You’re embracing peace over pressure.

In this new chapter, you’ll find yourself:

• Spending meaningful, cozy time with loved ones—your children, partner, close friends, or family.

• Reconnecting with joy through human connection.

• Feeling emotionally filled through love, laughter, and shared moments.

• Inspired to pursue your goals simply by being surrounded by warmth.

And yes—abundance is coming.

➤ Job offers

➤ Financial breakthroughs

➤ Aligned opportunities

➤ New doors you didn’t expect to open, now opening easily

You are picking up the pace again—but this time, it’s steady and supportive. Not chaotic. Not rushed. It’s flow, not force.

You’re cooperating with the Universe now, rather than trying to overpower its rhythm. And because of this, your blessings will not only come to you, they will come through you.

This new cycle holds:

• Security

• Stability

• Assurance

• Cozy contentment

• Love

• Gentleness

• Divine timing

🌿 I’m so happy for you.

You’ve been through so much. You deserve this ease, this magic, this softness. And you’re ready for it.

Take the signs seriously. Trust the pace. Anchor in the symptoms of peace.

Remember: you are being guided.

Your new season has already begun.

Pile 2

For many of you, this next cycle will be destabilizing—a period where you’re questioning your sense of stability and security, while simultaneously being called to implement self-care in the midst of chaos.

It feels like you’re standing at a crossroads. You’re resisting your own growth, not because you don’t want to evolve, but because you don’t know where to start. There’s uncertainty. Insecurity. Self-doubt. Especially around manifesting and materializing your dreams into reality.

Some of you may be hesitating to begin—or you start, only to fall off quickly. The follow-through isn’t fully there, and that’s not because you lack discipline, but because you’re emotionally overwhelmed. I sense you’ve been giving so much to others—over-functioning, over-giving, trying to be everything to everyone—that your own life has been neglected.

There’s a lack of balance. You’re either so focused on yourself that your external life is falling apart, or you’re so consumed by your external obligations that your inner world is drained. Either way, your energy is scattered.

There’s a pattern of starting things and not finishing them…

Of trying to move forward while still holding onto the past…

Of wanting change but still clinging to outdated beliefs and ways of doing things.

And that internal tug-of-war is keeping you stuck in the in-between.

This new cycle may bring:

• Financial instability

• Household or family tensions

• Budgeting difficulties

• Emotional and mental exhaustion

But here’s the deeper truth: you are in a transitional stage. You are dissolving old paradigms and beginning to open yourself to new ones. You’re not fully in the old, nor fully in the new. You’re navigating the tender middle.

There will be loss—but also profound gain.

You will begin to understand what you’ve lost, and how to rebuild it from a place of authenticity and self-honor.

This cycle will teach you:

• The necessity of self-care

• The beauty of grounding and stabilizing yourself

• That you are not meant to do everything

• That it’s okay to slow down and focus on what’s truly sustainable

You’re going to learn more about yourself than you have in a long time. But the lessons won’t come gently—they will come through pressure, through the discomfort of change, through the ache of letting go.

And yet, it’s all here to shape you.

✨ I’m sending you deep well wishes.

Please take time to care for yourself—every single week. Nourish your body. Nourish your emotions. Nourish your mind. Nourish your spirit.

You deserve a beautiful life 🌹❣️🌹❣️🌹

And it will come—with patience, presence, and steady effort.

Pile 3

🦂For many of you, you’re coming into your own. This is the beginning of a beautiful new cycle in your life. The old cycle is finally closing, and you’re stepping into a new realm—one that offers more peace, clarity, and self-understanding. 🦂

In this new phase, your emotional state will become much more balanced. Instead of feeling scattered, overwhelmed, or caught in emotional extremes—exploding one moment, retreating the next—you’ll find a calm within yourself. The emotional waters are no longer stormy. The tides have softened. You’re gaining a sense of internal stillness.

This is a period of building emotional intelligence. You’re becoming more introspective and discerning—not only about your own emotions but also about the intentions of others. You no longer want to misunderstand people, and more importantly, you no longer want to misunderstand yourself.

You’re developing a sharp awareness, almost like an emotional investigator—attuned to subtle cues, deeply intuitive, and incredibly self-protective. You’re no longer letting just anyone into your space. You’re learning how to filter people out. Your boundaries are sacred, and you’re honoring them.

• Sharper awareness

• More emotional intelligence

• Deeper perception of others

• More intentional

At the same time, you may not be as social in this new cycle. You’re in a reflective space—trying to pick up the pieces, figure out what you want, and determine which direction is right for you. You’re embracing quality over quantity, especially when it comes to relationships, opportunities, and time. You’re no longer allowing others to override your decision-making.

You’re pacing yourself. You’re being patient. Some of you are preparing to make major life decisions, and that requires time, space, and silence to reflect. And that’s exactly what this cycle is gifting you: the ability to pause, to breathe, to choose with intention.

You’re also completing something significant. A karmic loop or long-held chapter is closing. You’ve transformed through it, and now you can finally say: I’m done. I’ve outgrown that version of myself.

🎉CONGRATULATIONS 🎉

🩷With that closure comes new beauty. 🩷

You’re no longer in the energy of chasing, controlling, or dominating. There’s a softening here—a return to trust. You’re beginning to believe that things will come to you in due time, that you don’t have to force your path. There’s less anxiety about what you want, and more calm, patient trust in how it will unfold.

You’ll likely spend more time in your mind this cycle—not in a chaotic way, but in contemplation. You’re making sure you’re aligned before you leap forward. You’re moving at a pace that truly works for you, and you’re reclaiming balance after a time of over-exertion.

Where you used to burn out—charging ahead too fast, slamming the brakes, then revving forward again—you’re now slowing down. You’re learning to move with grace, not force.

You’re stepping out of the obsessive loop of constant goal-setting or relentless self-improvement. You’re remembering the value of emotional presence, connection, and joy. You’re nurturing your relationships, your friendships, and the people around you—not just your aspirations.

You’re taking a step back… and you’re calming down.

And in that stillness, you’re becoming powerful in a new, steady, grounded way.

Pile 4

For many of you, this new cycle is bringing deep clarity—cutting through confusion, illusions, and the weight of unspoken truths. Where things once felt murky or misunderstood, clarity is now rising to the surface. This is a period of reclaiming your vision, your truth, and your understanding of the path ahead.

There will be multiple opportunities to materialize and manifest, especially in the realm of the physical. Financial blessings are coming. Career growth is likely. Stability, achievement, and tangible gain are within reach. But let me be honest: while these blessings are very real, they may not feel as satisfying as you imagined they would.

That’s because this cycle is also pulling you inward.

There’s a push and pull within you—between what you’re receiving and how you feel about it. Opportunities will appear clearly: a new job, a promotion, a financial breakthrough, or a long-awaited blessing finally arriving. And yet, emotionally, you might feel… disconnected from it.

Why? Because you’re in a fog. A fog of self-doubt, internal conflict, or even spiritual exhaustion. You’re trying to find your way out of this fog, but your emotional reality doesn’t yet match the physical gains you’re receiving. You may not trust that these blessings are truly yours. You might question whether you’re worthy of them.

This resistance may come from deep-seated beliefs—perhaps rooted in religious conditioning, shame, past failure, or a long-standing narrative that joy must be earned through suffering. You may be carrying the weight of feeling undeserving, and that belief is affecting your ability to receive.

In this cycle you’ll:

• Experience resistance to growth

• Self-doubt and questioning

• Existential crisis

• Self-esteem issues

• Survival and scarcity mindset

In this cycle, isolation may feel like the only safe route. You might pull away from others—not out of malice, but from overwhelm or a deep distrust of goodness. There’s a protective mechanism rising: “If I do everything alone, no one can disappoint me. If I don’t trust anything good, I won’t be hurt when it disappears.”

But this coping strategy will likely create bitterness. It will weigh you down. And instead of bringing freedom, doing it all alone may rob you of joy. You may feel resentful, even while succeeding, because you’re carrying so much on your own shoulders.

This resistance to accepting help—from the universe or from other people—is not strength, it’s fear. You are worthy of support, of teamwork, of ease. And part of your journey in this cycle is learning to soften into that truth.

There is also a stubbornness that may rise—a desire to prove yourself to others, or even to yourself, by doing it all alone. But the truth is, you don’t have to. And the longer you resist interdependence, the longer you’ll delay the deeper joy and healing you’re seeking.

In this cycle, your self-doubt is louder than your faith. Your trust in others is fragile. And your control is a mask for deeper pain—pain from betrayal, disappointment, mistrust. Pain that has hardened into the belief that only you can protect yourself, and that even blessings must be handled with suspicion.

This control, however, is costing you your peace. It’s stealing your joy. You might appear to be “handling it all,” but internally, you’re weighed down. Exhausted. Unfulfilled. And sometimes, disillusioned by the very opportunities you once prayed for.

You must ask yourself:

• Why am I not allowing myself to feel joy?

• Why am I so quick to believe this isn’t real, or that it won’t last?

• What do I gain by resisting softness, cooperation, and trust?

In this new chapter, the universe will lovingly, but firmly, reflect you back to yourself. The lessons won’t be about what others did wrong—but about how you’ve unconsciously pushed things away: love, blessings, connection, ease. You’ll be called to examine your mindset and how it shapes your life.

This is a cycle of healing from within. You’re learning how your thoughts and beliefs shape your reality—not just what you attract, but how you receive, feel, and hold it.

And slowly, gently, you’ll begin to see: it was never about the job, the opportunity, or the external gain. It was about reclaiming your worth, rebuilding your faith, and remembering that you deserve to feel good—not just perform well.

🩷✨Let this be the season you meet yourself with honesty, grace, and compassion. You are not broken. You are protecting yourself the only way you knew how. But now, it’s time to let good in—again. 🩷✨

Pile 5

🦂🦂For many of you, this next cycle of your life marks a period of deep change, inner realization, and a pivotal transformation. It shifts your focus from being externally driven to becoming deeply internal, where your soul begins seeking meaning over momentum. 🦂🦂

In the past, you may have been heavily focused on success—achieving goals, excelling at work, maintaining social connections, pursuing romance, or striving for visibility. But many of those pursuits began to wear you down. They dimmed your inner light, left you overwhelmed, and placed you in a cycle of over-functioning—giving too much, doing too much, and ultimately, living in a way that was unsustainable.

As a result, your confidence may have waned. Feelings of self-doubt, pessimism, and emotional exhaustion may have taken root, hijacking your nervous system and throwing you into survival mode. And yet, despite the fatigue, you may still find yourself chasing those same external validations—popularity, achievement, love, recognition, or financial gain.

But here’s the truth: it’s not working. And rather than slow down, part of you wants to press harder—to chase faster, push further, grasp tighter. This cycle, however, will bring you face-to-face with burnout. The constant striving for something that may not even be meant for you is depleting your energy and driving you toward collapse.

In this new chapter of your life, you may go through a period of exhaustion and disillusionment—where everything you once thought mattered begins to feel hollow. You’ll recognize that you’ve been acting from a place of fear and longing, trying to feel “enough” by achieving more. But chasing that high, over and over, is only creating deeper emptiness.

This cycle will bring:

• Realization of where you suffer

• Reflection on your melancholy, sadness, or depression

• A path to self exploration

• Revising your goals

• Learning to pace yourself

And so, a shift begins.

You may still look outward at first, trying different paths, altering your narrative, experimenting with change. But ultimately, this cycle is calling you inward. It’s inviting you to stop searching for yourself in the eyes of others and instead begin reclaiming your sense of self.

Once you begin that inward journey—through reflection, introspection, journaling, and emotional awareness—you’ll start to see the truth of how you feel. You’ll recognize that beneath all the effort and the chase lies a deep unhappiness. And that moment of honesty will be your breakthrough.

It will initiate a journey of healing and self-reclamation—where you rediscover yourself and fall in love with who you truly are, not who you’ve tried to be for the world.

This is a cycle of self-discovery. A time to question what you thought mattered, what you believed success was, and what you believed you needed in order to feel worthy. Your values will begin to shift. Your self-perception will deepen. You’ll start caring less about how others perceive you, and more about how aligned you feel with yourself.

There will be quiet revolutions:

• A new approach to self-improvement

• Moments of solitude that feel like medicine

• Belief systems breaking and reforming

• A fierce commitment to understanding your inner world

This phase is awakening you from a long slumber. What once numbed or distracted you no longer works. You’re being summoned to awaken to your true self, and with that awakening comes sovereignty—the ability to make decisions rooted in clarity and self-trust, rather than in panic, pressure, or performance.

🩷✨You are entering a new realm of authenticity, and though the path may feel unfamiliar, it is sacred. 🩷✨

Pile 6

🌀For many of you, this next cycle in your life represents a paradigm shift—but in order to step into it, you’re going to have to take a step back. It may feel like a regression before progression, but never forget: regression is where you learn; progression is where you go.🌀

In this current stage of “regression,” you’re reflecting on everything that has unfolded from January to June. You’re trying to piece together the story—asking the how, the why, the when, and the where. You’re seeking clarity about your life and what brought you to this point. That desire for understanding is powerful. But the truth is, there’s a lot to understand.

You want to make sense of things, and you are introspective, but when you go inward and try to reflect in solitude, it overwhelms you—not because you’re too much, but because you’ve never really sat with it all. Maybe you’ve been in survival mode. Maybe you’ve been avoidant. Maybe you were too busy. Either way, now that you’re finally facing it, it feels like too much.

So, when you retreat into isolation and try to be introspective, you might feel the urge to give up, to escape, to distract yourself again. There’s a chaotic energy to this new cycle: you want to understand, but you also feel flooded by everything you’re trying to process. The key will be to break it down in pieces—give yourself grace and time—because healing through isolation will only happen once you stop trying to rush the process.

Right now, isolation may feel like pressure instead of peace. You may feel tempted to jump back into socializing, distractions, or routines just to avoid feeling overwhelmed. I also see for some of you, a breakup may have recently occurred, and you might be starting to explore your options again in dating. It doesn’t feel like a traumatic breakup—more like a neutral separation, where both parties knew it wasn’t working.

With summer in full swing, there may be less desire for routine or structure. You may find yourself avoiding responsibilities, people, or even your own healing process. Even when you try to do the inner work, you might quickly slip into escapism—retreating into fantasy, daydreams, or distractions rather than confronting the reality of your emotions.

This cycle you’ll experience:

• Wanting to move forward and feeling pulled back

• Intense impulsive urges

• Wanting to love and be passionate, but having a push-pull feeling

• Wanting to socialize but also being alone

• Into fantasy, daydreaming, and seeking

You feel ungrounded right now—floating, drifting, unsure of where to begin. Even if you do begin to heal or reflect, it doesn’t last long. Something inside of you wants to avoid “wasting the summer” being sad, stuck inside, or emotionally heavy. You’re craving chill, calm, carefree energy—and that’s completely valid.

However, avoidance comes at a cost. It keeps you from the deeper growth that’s trying to emerge. It holds you back. There’s an inner tension in this cycle—you want freedom, but you also feel like you should be doing more. You’re conflicted. You want to run wild, but you also second-guess it.

I’ll be honest: in this stage, it doesn’t seem like you’re learning a lot. There’s some chaotic, unstable energy, and it feels like you’re caught in a loop of trying to move forward, only to regress again. That’s okay. Sometimes, the lesson is in acknowledging that you’re not ready for everything. Maybe you want freedom more than introspection. Maybe you crave fluidity more than structure. Maybe you’re not ready to decide, because you’re still discovering what you want.

This cycle is about exploration, not perfection.

So don’t be hard on yourself. It’s summer—have fun. Let loose a little. Just try not to let that freedom become recklessness. Entertainment is healthy, but stay grounded. If you’re going out drinking—hydrate. If you’re being sexually expressive—protect yourself. If you want to run wild—run wise.

This cycle is not about planning or achieving something specific. It’s about discovering who you really are. You are learning through experience, not through strategy. And even if it feels messy right now, clarity will come through your reflection in time.

So live. Explore. But check in with yourself, too.

🩷✨You don’t need to have it all figured out right now—just keep learning how to listen to your soul.🩷✨

🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸🔸🧸

[movingthisblogcelestialtarot11]

PAC: Random Messages for You

Hi friends! Thought I’d do something tarot related instead of astrology today. Do enjoy and let me know your feedback down below! <: it means a lot to me and this blog.

Pile 1: Hi there pile 1! You may be experiencing a disconnect within your home life, or not even that but a disconnect to spirituality. There may be a lot of shifts and changes happening in your life at the moment, and it feels as though there’s a lot of tension within you. I’m seeing a box and it keeps folding in on itself, imploding not exploding. All that tension is really sitting within you. I encourage some (I heard bath therapy) so maybe some of you like to take baths with herbs, crystals, and candles. Do that! There may be some uninvited energy around you at the moment. Also some of you need sleep. Rest. Stay off the phone before bedtime, and if you can, meditate! Meditation can look different, for some its sitting in nature, going on a walk, or laying there. There’s a really huge shift here—I don’t think you expected this ending to have happened either with someone you loved or this disconnect either spirituality. I almost feel as if there’s this longing, but also hopeless feeling of: “why? Spirit? Why me?” And I heard: it matters where you are. So, if you’re in an environment where there are people taking advantage of you how can you set boundaries? What do you need? How can you make this process easier for you? It’s likely these people or this place is contributing to your issues at the moment. I also believe spirit wants to let you know that they hear you and are there for you <3 “it matters where you are,” they know, they’ve heard your prayers. If you need confirmation this is it. Journaling can help a ton, there’s a lot of mental energy but in the sense that its squashed. Normally you feel pretty upbeat but it almost feels as if there’s defeat and its a little too silent with all the things you wish to say. Express yourself. Cry it out. I also heard hug it out! So hug it out if you can with a friend, hugging yourself, or hugging a stuffed animal. Yoga may be great for releasing trapped emotions in the body too. I hope you feel better pile 1 <3 thank you for your support and being here.

Pile 2: Hi there pile 2! Welcome! For you I feel as though there’s a lot of green energy around you at the moment. It surrounds you like a garden! I can see your aura with vines, curling up to protect your space and flowers blooming all around. So beautiful! Im also hearing it took a long time to tend to this garden, so you really did take a lot of time to focus on your confidence, healing and transformation. Im also seeing a mermaid emerge from the sea and she’s by the moon. She looks carefree! That’s you. I feel as though you’re learning to vibe with being alone and being okay with being single, although you don’t necessarily have to be. You may be in a position of power in your career now or in the future will be. Im seeing someone grab a book and write down all their ideas and goals—with this determination in mind to make it happen! You may be a fixed sign or have multiple (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus) and suddenly it manifests. This is the kind of success you’ve been building up towards. I also heard this is the success where I feel at peace within myself. Its not necessarily about external factors (although it could be like owning a house—I heard that) its more so the peace that comes with trusting yourself now after all these years. I also see your third eye is open which is revealing to you things that were hidden before. Hidden knowledge. Im seeing spirit is giving you these messages as if its sacred—you’re drinking out of a golden goblet and its this magical juice lmao. Some of ya’ll have very imaginative inner childs and love to concoct stories, so maybe your inner child is out and about! I legit see your inner child dressed like a diva with their sunglasses, sparkly pink kitten heels to slay the day away! So cute. I just feel you have mended that relationship sincerely. You could be a: pisces, pisces 5h/1h, aries, leo, sag, cancer placements. I also see this is an important time for harvesting results. I heard: there is result beyond fear. There is relief beyond fear. On the other side of fear there is joy. So perhaps this has been a mantra for you. I see EFT tapping therapy, so maybe some of you engaged in this. I see breath work, learning to work with your energy. I heard kundalini as well! So some of you may certainly be focused on spirituality and practices. Your inner child is so important—literally hearing their words of awe at the world. Your encouragement means so much to them right now, it’s as if they’re allowing themselves to express themselves again! Thanks pile 2 for being here <3 means a lot to me!

Pile 3: Hey ya’ll it’s 10:10 as I write this so there’s a strong presence of spiritual support! Love that. You guys might be a virgo rising, have virgo placements, virgo 2h, or strong mercurial aspects. An exalted mercury even! I see that for you guys there’s this hazy thick fog. It feels as though your energy is very much guarded and anyone who tries to come in is maybe hit with a wave of confusion. Kind of like they’re stunned. Its kind of cartoonish, and silly. But I see this as a protective mechanism! You guys have been focused on getting your life together especially your finances. You could be budgeting more, spending less, and overall grinding. Keep it on the low and hustling. I also lots of self care so maybe you’ve switched your routine, you’re getting your hair done, nails, lashes, etc. You want to feel your best self and Im literally seeing your spirit team cheer and fist bump. Its like they’ve been wanting you to love yourself and—“finally you got the message,” is what I heard 😭 I’m also hearing “pump it up,” I know its a song, its pop music, really catchy. There’s a lot of happy bright energy surrounding you and I think you’re really feeling yourself. And I think that anyone who tries to disturb your peace I literally see you putting on sunglasses to act like they don’t exist. I feel like you guys are also really funny which people don’t expect—you have a very dry humor and might be great and stand up comedy. I also feel your phone is filled with a bunch of memes to go on the daily. It’s on butt dial at this point. I feel as though you appear intimidating but you’re really funny, chill, and grounded. You may have taurus/Capricorn placements as well. Lots of earth! Maybe all your big 3 is earth. I feel as though you’re being told to enjoy yourself and have fun! Let loose and chuck the ruled aside momentarily. It wouldn’t hurt to let go. I think for so long you’ve been hustling and grinding—so its time to celebrate how far you came! You may attracting suitors or attention is what I heard lol, lots of eyes on you! Especially through this transformation. I see you going from alone to suddenly everyone is around you. So maybe you’re graduating, getting that promotion, it’s your birthday, or there’s an event coming up! This is really going to help you feel your best self <3 Im also hearing euro pop music, so maybe ya’ll are into that. And dream of euro pop blasting in clubs (bring back this era) I dont know if you know Inna and her music. “Hot” by inna is playing! But thanks pile 3 for being here! Sincerely appreciate it all. Your feedback means a lot to me.

Extra

Paid Readings 🤍

[muletia]

Soemthing about Opitmus' holoform and him just following you around doing domestic things just because

domestic fluff?? in this economy? hell yeah

cw: fluff, pinch of angst

word count: 710

Optimus longs to experience normalcy. Immersed in war, surrounded by the scent of spilled energon and the wails of wounded comrades... after so many years, such a cruel and unjust daily reality is bound to leave a mark, shift priorities, and force him into thinking always of others and never of himself. And so, even for a brief moment, he wishes to allow himself to be selfish. To focus on doing something that brings him joy. And it just so happens that his joy lies in being in your presence, getting to know you, spending time together on activities that, from a Cybertronian perspective, might seem trivial. Carefree. Yet he has distanced himself from such views.

He delights in discovering the hidden sides of you, the parts you don’t reveal at the base. They only emerge at home, in your sanctuary, where you show him another version of yourself. The first time he asked to accompany you home, you were surprised. You enjoyed spending time with him too and treasured your shared moments, but you weren’t sure if he was ready for the boredom that came with it. That saddened him, because he sincerely wanted to know your boredom, to see you from an angle unfamiliar to him. To understand humanity on a more intimate level. To experience what humanity truly is, stripped of philosophy, disengaged from the rat race, living in the moment. In its simplest form. The archivist who no longer existed stirred within him, curious, inquisitive, and hungry for knowledge of the unknown. For a fleeting moment, Optimus allowed him back into his spark.

And so, you let him. You invite him into your home and unveil yourself to him, shedding layer after layer. The first time, he is agitated, not stressed, but uneasy; afraid every movement might damage the furniture or the trinkets on the shelves. After all, he wouldn’t be able to repair them. Even while "being human," he betrays his true essence, unaccustomed to his new, smaller form. His title manifests even through the holoform. You have to take his hand and guide him to get him to move at all, for which he is deeply grateful.

He observes human boredom: washing dishes, doing laundry, preparing fuel (a meal, as you explained to him). You insist it’s dull, almost unworthy of his presence, but he is unwavering on this matter. He craves it. Wants to taste humanity, to see through your optics, even if just for a moment. Because he loves you and hungers to know everything about you, the good and the bad. The mundane and the thrilling. The most trivial and the profound. He needs honesty and openness. To know you trust him, for only then can he truly function.

You show him humanity through dancing, listening to music, and reading books. You let him season the meal, even though he doesn’t understand the purpose of the action. Allow him to water the plants while you share fascinating tidbits about each species. He never leaves your side, desperate for knowledge of your daily life. Becomes your shadow, intent on learning everything, who you truly are.

When you ask if he could read a book to you because you enjoy his voice, he agrees without hesitation, as he’s physically incapable of refusing you. Begins reading, and you rest your head on his lap, smiling as he tenses, trying to suppress his emotions. The words blur together as you start playing with the synthetic skin of his face, exploring with curiosity the false human that feels too real. You tell him you prefer his true form, his true self, and for the first time in his life, Optimus doesn’t know what to say, as no amount of experience could have prepared him for such raw honesty.

But this time, you allow him more. Let him feel the texture of your wet, freshly washed hair, touch damp skin, and dry your head with a towel. He sees you in your pajamas, even though the essence of fashion and clothing is largely unknown to him. Let him cuddle into you, to learn the sensation of closeness from a smaller perspective. And when you ask if he is satisfied with the human mundane, his answer remains unchanged.

[exqorcism]

𓍯 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ' . . . nicholas alexander chavez my emotions are naked, they're taking me out of my mind

⸝⸝⸝ 𓏲 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. . . nicholas a. chavez x fem!reader

a/n. this took almost 2 months to complete but i'm so happy with how this came out !!! i hope you enjoy // this one's for you, @iamsebastiansstan <3 manifesting this for us

warnings. 18+ — minors dni! smut, that including unprotected piv, name calling, kinda hate sex ? crying during + after sex &&& lots of plot beforehand | wc. ۪13.494  ⊹ 𓄹 ࣪ . ݁

— english is not my first language ! feedback is appreciated

"Do we really need to set those fucking rules? You're not gonna abide by them anyway", you chuckled, you're bare back pressing against Nicholas' sweaty chest as he held you close. You felt it rise and fall with every sharp breath he took, the smell of sex and sweat filling the small space of his room. With your palms pressed tightly against the wall and Nicholas' hands rubbing up and down your sides, you felt surprisingly at peace.

"Speak for yourself. I just wanna make sure we're on the same page here", he mumbled, slipping out of your pussy in one, swift movement, and you winced, turning back towards him with a small smile plastered on your face. You were utterly spent, but nonetheless satisfied as you straightened the material of your skirt, making sure you looked presentable, even in your fucked-out state.

"What do you say about... fuck buddies? No feelings involved. Nothin' more than a good fuck once in a while", Nicholas shrugged, pulling his pants up his legs, and you nodded, running your palms over your hair to tame the strands that slipped out of your slicked back hairstyle.

"Yeah, sounds good. Just know", you lowered your voice, standing on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "I'm unable to resist. Let's hope you don't fall in love with me in the process".

Nicholas chuckled, his thumb pressing against your lower lip as he cradled your cheek, looking down at you with authority that made your breath hitch. "Don't worry. I won't".

How fucking ironic.

Nicholas' voice echoed in your head as you stood there, immersed in silence, just by the bar's emergency exit door. You could almost feel his presence next to you, his hot breath on your neck, this stupidly attractive smirk that he always sent your way. The way his eyes gazed deep into your soul, as if he could read you like an open book.

Sometimes you had a feeling he knew you better than you knew yourself.

You hated yourself for letting him ruin your night. The buzz you got from the alcohol started to pass, and all that was left inside you was sorrow and anger. The distinctive smell of smoke lingered in the air around you as you took another puff of your half-burnt out cigarette, inhaling deeply, as if the toxin could heal the wounds Nicholas left in your heart.

In your head, you could clearly see it — Nicholas standing a couple of feet away from you, his back facing you. Your friends' laughter erupted in your ears as one of them made a really bad joke, most of them completely drunk by now, barely able to stand straight. Your attention was solely focused on him — the man you came here for in the first place. You hadn't seen him in two weeks, for God's sake! It soon became obvious why, though. A tall, long-haired blonde woman approached the group, the sound of her heels clicking against the floor heard even through the loud music. She leaned against Nicholas, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he responded immediately with rubbing his hands up and down her sides. Suddenly, you felt very uncomfortable in your own skin — the soft fabric of your embarrassingly short dress pressing tightly against your body now suffocating. You wore it only for him, and he didn't even spare you a glance. With teary eyes, you watched as he leaned down, pressing his lips against hers, which were much bigger and fuller than yours, you noted. Your bottom lip trembled slightly as you sipped on your drink, your gaze falling to the floor.

What did you do wrong?

Another inhale, another exhale. You played with the necklaces hanging loosely around your neck, feeling your muscles relax a bit as you did so. No matter how dumb that sounded, the cool metal felt refreshing against your fingertips, grounding you to the moment. No matter how hard you tried, though, you couldn't get Nicholas out of your head. The night was hot, although you could feel an uninvited shiver run down your spine as you let your mind wander to him again, again and again.

Friends with benefits, he said. No boundaries, just sex between two best friends. The rules were simple enough — but somehow, you managed to break all of them.

No staying overnight. But you did — so many times, letting Nicholas cuddle you through the night, finding comfort and safety in his warm embrace. No kissing. No cuddling afterwards. No catching feelings. And the most important, at least for Nicholas, as he emphasised many times before — No seeing other people. He mentioned that it was for safety reasons, but you didn't believe him — maybe you hoped he wanted you all to himself, the same way you wanted him.

Everything had changed. You looked at him in ways you never dared to before — you started to see a man in him. It started innocently enough. His hand raking through your hair after practically fucking your soul out of you, his eyes filled with hesitation, as if he was scared to touch you, take care of you — but he did. He always did.

Then, he told you to stay overnight. The warmth of his arms around you, his intoxicating smell wrapping around you like a blanket, his soothing hands rubbing against your shoulder and thigh, lips ghosting over your forehead and damp hair. The way he kissed you as if you were the most precious being, lulling you to your sleep after forcing you to take a shower. His smile when he looked down at you with quiet adoration that he hoped you didn't notice. But you did. You always did.

You knew you crossed a line you couldn't uncross, but it was too late to turn back.

The universe seemed to laugh at you, now, as you sat there, alone, hugging your arms to your chest in hopes to ease the aching of your heart. The first drop of the warm, summer rain fell on your skin, dripping down the side of your hand as you shakily exhaled.

The silence of the outside world, compared to the chaos happening inside the bar was almost suffocating, but somehow comforting. You wrapped your jacket around yourself, even though your body was on fire. Maybe you were just trying to shield yourself from the feelings you had towards Nicholas, maybe you just hoped it'd all go away if you hid behind the oversize jacket. Without a second thought, you took the cigarette pack out of your pocket, lighting one up, watching as it got damp due to the — now harder — rain.

"You're pretty", you thought you heart him mumble just as you poured milk into the bowl, glancing at the recipe in order to get everything right. You froze mid-mixing the dough, breath caught in your throat, the music softly blasting in the background long forgotten. Nicholas stood by your side, leaning against the counter, watching you more than actually helping — just as he always did. His attentive eyes bore into the side of your face shamelessly, and you sent him a quick glance, small smirk tugging on the corner of your lips as you processed his words.

"Sure", you replied simply, chuckling to yourself, even though you could hear your heart pound in your throat. "I'm sure you say that to every girl you hang out with".

It was Nicholas' time to chuckle. He shifted, leaning forward to look over your shoulder, his eyes following you mixing the dough in the small bowl. Your attempts to stop the trembling of your hands were useless as the spoon slipped out of your grasp, falling onto the floor with a defeating bang.

"Easy there, love", he teased, leaning down to grab it for you, leaving a soft peck on your thigh as he did. An unwanted shiver run down your spine, and you found yourself turning your head to look at him as he straightened his posture, towering over you. "I don't. You're the only one I call pretty".

You gulped as Nicholas met your gaze, small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he studied your nervous expression. You couldn't help the heat that spread across your body at his words, and you smiled, a hint of shyness in your expression — and he noticed immediately. He always did.

Without another word, he handed you the spoon, and you nodded in quiet "thanks", your gaze dropping to his lips for a second before you went back to mixing the dough.

You had hoped he couldn't feel your heart pounding in your chest.

"Y'know", Nicholas continued casually, his hands founding place on your hips as if they belonged there. You stayed silent, waiting for him to continue, instinctively leaning back against his chest. "We should go out sometime. There's this nice restaurant on the other side of town — I think you'd like it".

You gulped, trying your hardest to seem relaxed, but you could feel your muscles clenching, your mouth feeling dryer than usual. Yet you couldn't help the warmth that spread across your stomach. Was he...?

"Are you asking me out on a date?", you chuckled, turning around in his grasp, tilting your head so that you could have a look at him. He was so much taller than you, so much bigger — and you wondered if it wasn't one of the reasons why you fell for him in the first place. With your hands on Nicholas' chest, playing with the collar of his black t-shirt, you could feel his heart pound against your palms.

Nicholas laughed, although it sounded strained, almost forced, his grip on you tightening for a spare second. "Nah. I don't do this shit anymore. Just thought it would be nice to take you there".

With a hint of hesitation, you met his gaze, your smile dropping almost in time with your heart sinking in your chest. You bit the inside of your mouth, desperately trying not to show how much his words affected you — but they did. And he noticed. Sometimes you felt as if he knew you better than you knew yourself, looking right through you as if you were invisible. And you hated yourself for letting him get to you in such ways. You hated yourself for holding your heart out on your sleeve, and you hated him for breaking it again, again... and again.

"Um... yeah. I don't know. You might as well take someone else", you whispered, fixing the wrinkles on his shirt before slipping out of his grasp, turning away without another word. Your throat felt dry, and you struggled to keep your composure, feeling as if you were punched in the gut.

Were you overreacting? Maybe. Were you still hoping he might feel the same way and was just really, really good at hiding it? Definitely.

"I don't want to go with anyone else", he urged, trying to get closer to you again, the warmth of his body surrounding you, almost suffocating now. Although his words made your heart race, blush creeping up onto your face, you didn't let him get any closer. You knew his touch would hurt. And you knew you couldn't allow him to hurt you anymore.

"Nicholas, I can't do this", you mumbled. Not once had he seen you cry — and you weren't going to let him. Your voice was confident, not shaking even once, as you turned towards him, your hard gaze unfaltering, even though his disappointed expression made your heart break just a little. "You're crossing a line. Weren't you the one who made those stupid rules? Weren't you the one who wanted— wanted for it to be nothing more than a good fuck once in a while? Look what's happening to us", you babbled, even though with every word you said, your heart sunk deeper into your chest. It hurt to say it out loud, but you had to face the truth — you crossed a line. Maybe it was all fun and games to him, but it wasn't to you. Not anymore.

Nicholas seemed to be taken aback by your sudden outburst. He stepped back, as if being this close to you caused him physical pain.

He stayed quiet for a while. You could hear your own heartbeat in the quietness of the kitchen as you watched him, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

"You're right. We shouldn't", he nodded, meeting your gaze with a hint of hesitation. "Which doesn't mean I'm gonna stop kissing you. It's the one rule I want to keep on breaking— If you let me".

You let a small smile tug at the corners of your lips, your eyes softening. Nicholas, noticing the change in your expression, stepped closer again, caging you between his body and the kitchen counter, his hands finding place on your cheeks, as if they belonged there.

"I'd rather die than to stop kissing you", he whispered, pushing a strand of your untamed hair behind your ear. Your breath hitched, and you clutched his shirt between your fingers, as if to ground yourself to the moment.

You wanted to tell him everything. How much you'd grown to love him, how safe you felt in his arms, how you wanted to be something more than just a friend to him. But you didn't. Instead, you stepped on your tiptoes to press a soft, loving peck to his lips, hoping it'd say what you didn't dare to.

You let the smoke leave your mouth, watching it swirl in the air only to dissipate seconds later. The rain was now pouring down from the sky, and you wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. You shivered, hugging yourself tighter, not even caring about the dampness of your clothes and the raindrops falling down your forehead, messing up your perfectly done makeup.

The sound of the door creaking open caught you off guard — not so many people knew about the backside of the bar, and you'd hoped it would stay this way. You tilted your head, your eyes narrowing in hopes to catch a glimpse of the person that had, unknowingly, disturbed the one moment of peace you had in a long time. The last person you'd expect to see, though, was Nicholas. He looked stupidly handsome in a black, skin-tight shirt, worn out jeans and some white sneakers, and you hated him for it.

Your heart dropped to your stomach when you realised he wasn't alone.

A loud, annoyingly sweet and high-pitched laugh echoed through the silence, along with the already familiar clicking of the girl's heels against the concrete pavement. You hoped that somehow, he wouldn't notice you; God, how badly you wished you could become invisible for a moment. You blinked rapidly, keeping your composure, even though you could feel your heart pounding against your ribs. With narrowed eyes, you looked her up and down, almost rolling them as you noticed her leaning against Nicholas' shoulder for balance as she kept on giggling. She was completely drunk, but Nicholas, on the other hand, seemed sober. His hand rested on her waist, slowly guiding her down the steps, keeping quiet as she tripped over her feet clumsily, laughing loudly. The urge to roll your eyes was too strong, now, as you balled up against the wall, partially trying to hide under your jacket, your knees pulled to your chest, your knuckles turning white as you gripped on the wet ground beneath you.

As they got closer, you couldn't help but feel your heart race, knowing there was nowhere to hide. You sighed, hastily taking a puff of your cigarette, losing count of how many you've already smoked. You had hoped he wouldn't notice you through the wall of rain, that he'd walk past you as if you didn't exist. You shifted on the ground, your head dropping back against the wall as you stared up at the clouded sky, exhaling the smoke into the damp air. You tried your best to seem relaxed, but you couldn't help the tears brimming in the corners of your eyes — your breathing getting heavier the closer they got.

The world seemed to stop spinning for a second when you met Nicholas' gaze. Surprise was written all over his face, replaced by concern as soon as he realised you were soaking wet, out in the open rain. You smacked your glossy lips together, your eyes falling to the ground as you heard him approach you with a few, long steps.

"Y/N? What— what are you doing here?", he said softly, crouching down next to you, forgetting about the girl he left with. You didn't look at him right away; you knew you couldn't. Your bottom lip trembled slightly as you took a puff of your cigarette, staring at the ground blankly — wishing a black hole would come crashing down and swallow you whole.

"Hey, are you okay? Wanna go in—".

"I'm fine, Nicholas", you interrupted mid sentence, finally finding courage to look him in the eyes. His brows were slightly furrowed, concern written all over his face as he carefully studied you, gulping. You had never called him Nicholas before. It was always Nic, Nico, or even Chavez if you were being playful. The sound of his full name falling from your lips was so unfamiliar, it sent shivers down his spine. You took a deep breath, stubbing the remains of your cigarette out slowly. "Don't keep your company waiting".

For a second, he seemed confused, as if he forgot about the person he left with in the first place. He turned his head, watching the girl as she sat on the bench, swinging her legs in the air happily, mumbling nonsense. You rolled your eyes and snarled, moving to get up from the ground — your ass felt sore, you were soaked, and you wanted to get Nicholas out of your sight as soon as possible.

"I'm just driving her home", he explained, stepping closer towards you as you hastily stood up, wrapping your jacket tighter around you.

"Nicholas, I don't care", the coldness again. "It's certainly none of my concern. You seemed to be pretty close, though", you couldn't help but chuckle, shaking your head.

"It's not like that", he groaned, quickly getting irritated at the indifference in your voice and in your eyes. You bit back a sigh, instead rolling your eyes, fixing your damp hair in hopes to tame it, make yourself look better than you felt. "Let me drive you home. We can talk about it, yeah?".

You found yourself shaking your head before he could even finish the sentence, taking a step back to put some distance between the two of you. Nicholas couldn't help but let his eyes roam over your soaked form, how absolutely beautiful you looked, even when drenched in the open rain.

"No, Nicholas. It's better if I go on my own", you stepped back when he tried to reach for you, as if his touch would set you on fire. "We—", you pointed your finger towards him and then you again, "we don't work. We're done. You hear me? I— I can't".

You hated the way your voice trembled, but you were sure of what you wanted. You knew you couldn't have it, and no matter how much it hurt, you had to protect your heart. Maybe it was too late, though — when you looked into his eyes, wide and pleading, as if asking you not to let go — you weren't so sure you could.

"What do you mean 'we're done'?", he asked carefully, running a hand through his messy locks, staring at you like a lost puppy.

"I meant exactly that. You're fucking kissing another girl in there and— you broke the fucking rule. The one that was so fucking important to you in the first place!", you snarled, barely able to control your anger and sorrow anymore. Your heart felt as if it was going to explode, and you took a deep, painful breath, leaning back against the wall in hopes to calm yourself down.

He knew you were serious. He could see it in your eyes, in the way you carried yourself tonight. And he wanted to slam his head against the wall, because he did all of this to get your attention. Maybe he had expected you to end up tangled in his sheets after a mind-blowing make up sex — but he didn't expect you to give up on him. To give up on what you had.

"It's not like that, Y/N, just—".

"Fucking stop it, Nicholas!", you hissed, taking a step forward, tugging at the hem of your dress to pull it down your thighs. "I meant it. I— I'm fucking tired. Exhausted, even", you laughed, although you weren't amused. "I don't want to be one of your girls. It hurts".

You didn't wait for him to reply; you couldn't even look at him. Instead, you turned around, quickly disappearing in the thick rain that continued to pour from the dark sky.

He didn't come after you.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ♡

For the next week, you didn't see him.

Not that you wanted to — but the emptiness in your heart only deepened the more days passed by. You tried to get yourself busy, manoeuvring between work and taking extra assignments and getting with your friends in the weekends. No matter how hard you tried, though, the thought of him always lingered in the back of your mind.

It was Saturday evening, and you were getting ready to go out with your friends. You finished off your makeup by putting a lipgloss on, smacking your lips together to spread it evenly. You couldn't help but feel your stomach hurl with excitement at the thought of going out, maybe meeting someone new, forgetting everything for a night.

As you stared out of your window and admired the panorama of New York, constantly living and breathing, you felt smaller than ever. The weight on your heart seemed to follow you everywhere, even if you tried to leave it in your pocket for just a few hours. You caught your own reflection in the thick glass, and you didn't even recognise who you were anymore. Maybe falling for Nicholas was the worst mistake you've ever made, but you couldn't deny he made you feel more alive than ever.

The tight, black, backless top you wore clung to your figure in the best way possible, your perky nipples just barely visible from underneath the thick material. Your thighs were almost fully exposed, a simple, black skirt ending just below your ass — it was so out of your comfort zone, but somehow, it made you feel better. Maybe you wanted to prove to everyone, including yourself, that you weren't thinking about him, that you got over the whole mess he'd recently put you through. You sighed heavily, looking out of the window as if the answers for all your doubts were written in the sky.

You fixed your hair, patiently waiting for the right time to leave. It was only beginning to get dark, the sunset creeping into the room casting golden shadows over your face. You couldn't help but wonder what Nicholas was up to — as you stared at the horizon, your hand wandered to the phone laying on your vanity. Maybe you had expected to see a message from him, a missed call; anything that would signal he still cared. Disappointment bloomed in your stomach when you were met with a few messages from your friends, a notification from Instagram and a reminder to take your daily dose of medicine. You rolled your eyes, annoyed, throwing the phone onto your bed before you shuffled towards the door.

A sudden, annoyingly loud sound of your doorbell caught you off guard. You hadn't expected any visitors tonight, neither were you waiting for a package or a letter. You could feel a lump in your throat as your feet moved on their own, guiding you towards the door slowly but surely. The feeling of uneasiness seemed to bloom in your stomach, as if you knew — or maybe, expected — exactly who was waiting at the door. The doorbell rang again, cutting through the silence like a knife, and you froze, your hand towering over the door handle.

You cursed the building's owner for not putting a viewfinder in the doors.

You turned the lock, wincing when your keychain rustled loudly, as if to inform the person on the other side that you were, indeed, home. You couldn't hide even if you wanted to, now — so, without a second thought, you opened the door.

Your breath got caught in your throat when you saw Nicholas. You cursed him for looking so stupidly good as you hastily looked him up and down. You sent him a glare, not saying a word, because... truthfully, there was nothing to say anymore. His gaze lingered on your boobs for a second longer than appropriate, before moving down, focusing on your exposed legs instead. He leaned against the doorframe nonchalantly, as if nothing ever happened, as if nothing between you changed.

"Going somewhere?", he mocked, inviting himself in, taking off his leather jacket as he went. The intoxicating smell of his cologne filled the room, wrapping around you like a comfortingly familiar blanket. You bit the inside of your mouth, not quite sure what to do, although you could feel your stomach tighten at his mere presence alone. Absolutely fucking pathetic.

"What are you doing here?", you asked carefully, keeping a safe distance as he entered your kitchen, moving around as if he owned the place. Nicholas didn't answer right away — instead he took a cup from the cupboard, pouring himself some orange juice, his movements slow and deliberate. You felt your cheeks heat up; his arrogant carelessness making annoyance bloom low in your stomach. "I said we're fucking done, Nicholas. Why do you act like a fucking child? Why the fuck are you even here?".

He leaned against the kitchen counter, clearly indifferent to your anger. A small smirk played on his lips as he took a small sip of the juice, tapping his fingers against the countertop. Your gaze lingered on his hand for longer than necessary, but your expression stayed neutral, your arms crossed on your chest as if to protect yourself from his effortless charm.

"This is good— Where'd you buy it?", Nicholas asked, clearly unbothered by the glares you sent his way. You rolled your eyes; the barely concealed anger began to overcome you, and you clenched your fists in order to calm the storm going on in your head.

"It's a fucking orange juice", you muttered, shaking your head, your eyes squeezed shut in disbelief. "Why are we having this conversation right now, I mean— Are you for fucking real?" you stuttered, irritated but not quite sure what to do, how to get rid of him. "Nicholas, go away. I've got somewhere to be".

He met your gaze, and for the first time that night, he wasn't wearing that arrogant smirk, his expression dropping a little as he carefully studied you. As much as you felt confident about the way you looked, you couldn't help but sink into the ground as his dark gaze lingered on your legs for longer than needed. Nicholas raised his eyebrows, almost as if he was judging your choice of clothing, a mocking, playful smile making its way onto his lips.

"I'm sure your girlfriends will be fine", he licked his lips, putting the — now empty — cup in the sink before walking off in the direction of your room nonchalantly.

You had no other choice but to follow, your feet shuffling against the wooden floor agonisingly slow as you stared at his back blankly. And you absolutely hated the way your heart fluttered at the sight of his muscles clenching as he walked.

"Yeah, they will. I'm not going out with them", you rasped, feeling a lump starting to form in your throat as you walked past Nicholas, plopping on your bed — just now realising he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. You didn't meet his gaze, instead focusing on fixing the crinkles on your fluffy blanket. You saw Nicholas move from the corner of your eye; his brown, attentive eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned against the doorframe, his arms folded over his chest.

"Then who are going out with?", he asked slowly and lowly, curious yet scared of the answer. His tone left you no choice but to look at him sheepishly, fluttering your lashes as you bit the inside of your mouth. You knew exactly where this was going, and it meant one thing and one thing only: trouble.

"I'm meeting someone, Nicholas. It's none of your concern anyway, so I'd appreciate it if you—".

"No. You're not doing that", Nicholas chuckled, although there was no humour in his tone at all — his voice an almost animalistic hiss, dripping with venom. You rose up to your feet, anger and annoyance blooming in your chest as you let his words sink in. You sent him a glare, just now noticing how dark his eyes became. He was breathing heavily, leaning against the doorframe, trapping you inside, giving you no choice but to stay where you were.

You turned on your feet, walking to the window only to stare at the New York panorama; you could practically hear the roar of the city through the thin glass, making your heart ache with longing. It was supposed to be a fun night — you were supposed to forget about him, just for one night, maybe meet someone new. Yet there he was, trapping you inside your own apartment as if you were a prisoner.

"How comes you tell me what to fucking do?", you snapped, turning around only to face him again. You couldn't control your anger anymore, not even if you tried — his arrogant smirk only spurring you on, causing you to close the distance between you in a few, big steps.

"I just want you to fucking leave me alone. I don't want to see you, I don't want to listen to anything you say. You can go back to being a man whore now — don't let me hold you back anymore", you snarled, pushing him back in hopes to get him to listen, just for once. Your breath was heavy as you watched Nicholas straighten his posture, pushing himself off the wall swiftly. His smirk vanished, and so did your confidence as he towered over you, almost making you feel nauseous. You swallowed hard, instinctively taking a step back to increase the distance between you, your face feeling stiff as you watched his dangerous expression.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that", he hissed, his tone leaving you no room to protest. Your throat felt dry as you chuckled lowly, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Big, dangerous Nicholas. All you do is fucking talk", you chuckled again, one of your hands moving up only to tap his cheek lightly, as if he was a little boy. Your voice was sharp, but there was a light edge to it — a challenge. Nicholas' gaze dropped to your lips, his jaw tight as he watched an amused smirk appear on your face. "You're a fucking asshole, and I want nothing to do with you. You had already made your choice. Now, get the fuck out".

He didn't move. Neither did you. You'd wondered what he'd do next — if he'd listen to you, just this one time, or if he'd kill you right on the spot. The anticipation made your heart race, your hands shaking nervously, arms falling limp by your sides.

Just as you were about to move, to break the thick silence by shuffling to the door, Nicholas hand clamped down on your neck, cutting your airflow in one, swift movement.

You gasped when you met his gaze — his pupils completely blown out, swallowing the darkness of his irises; brows furrowed as he studied your face, the corner of his mouth turning up at the look of fear on your face. He really did find the whole situation amusing, meanwhile you struggled against him, trying to free yourself from the bruising grip he had on you.

"Say that again", he hissed lowly, leaning down so that he could be face to face with you. His eyes remained serious, although a small smirk made its way onto his face as he watched you wince and grip his forearm in order to free yourself. You knew Nicholas would never hurt you, but the way he looked at you sent shiver down your spine. The feelings you tried to bury deep inside your heart came flooding back — no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't shake them.

You took a shallow breath, gulping audibly when Nicholas brought you closer by your neck, his lips now millimetres away from yours. He tilted his head, studying your face as if he could see right through you — as if he could sense the longing for him that you so desperately tried to hide. His eyes remained cold, and you felt his hot breath against your cheek, your face growing warmer with each passing second.

"I fucking hate you", you spat, your voice strangled due to the pressure his hand put on your neck. The more you said it, the less you believed that's how you truly felt. Your words were filled with venom, but there was also an unmistakable crack to your voice that defeated you. A small chuckle erupted from Nicholas' chest — and you knew you had already lost the battle you unknowingly fought in your head.

"Mhm. And you aren't... jealous of me? You didn't look so happy about my little company last weekend", he snarled, letting go of your neck only to bring you closer by your hips, his fingers pressing into your skin with unspoken possessiveness. You took a deep breath, your hands rubbing the sore skin he just let go of, your eyes squinting as a soft laugh escaped your parted lips. You shook your head. The audacity of men.

"What do you want me to say? It was not a part of the deal. You broke the rules of our little arrangement, but when it comes to me seeing other people, suddenly it's a problem?", you snapped, putting your hands on his chest to at least put some distance between the two of you. You weren't sure if you wanted to cry or to laugh. "Who the fuck do you think you are, Nicholas?".

For a second, it seemed as if he was speechless. His mouth opened and closed as if he was a god damn fish — words dying in his throat as he watched you with an unfaltering expression. You huffed, pushing him back until his hands fell from your hips to stupidly swing by his sides. "You're pathetic. Get out. I won't repeat myself".

Your throat burned with the things you wanted to say — how much you hated him for how he played you; how badly he hurt you; how madly you've fallen for him. Instead, you just watched as he took a deep breath, collecting himself, his gaze lowering to the ground as if he wasn't sure what to say.

After a few seconds, that felt like an eternity, you heard him shuffle towards the door. Your heart ached, and you weren't quite sure why — you wanted him to leave. He listened to you, just for once, and for some reason, all you wanted to do was yell: "stay". You mindlessly toyed with your fingers, watching as his hand towered over the doorknob, hesitating just for a second.

"I don't share".

Nicholas' voice came out as barely a whisper, and if it wasn't for the gravelly silence, you wouldn't even catch it. Your eyes almost fell out of your head, you could hear your own heartbeat in the quietness of the room — you were almost convinced Nicholas could, too.

"W-what?", your voice came out an octave higher than you'd anticipated, making you want to slam your head against the wall. You watched Nicholas' back as he stood still, his head tilting just slightly to give you a side-eyed look.

"You heard me", he growled, much louder this time, before slowly turning towards you, as if you were his prey. His gaze landed on you, confident and serious, catching you off guard. You momentarily forgotten about every insult you wanted to call him — your hands clutched in fists by your sides, the all-familiar heat filling your stomach as it hurled with need. "You are not going to see anyone else. You're mine, whether you like it or not".

You blinked slowly, watching as Nicholas got closer again. The room suddenly got smaller, the air around you thicker. Your head shot up as he towered over you, giving you no room to protest before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours.

You wanted to protest — hit him, slap him in the face, get a reaction out of him; humiliate him just as he did you so many times. Yet all you could do was stand there, your feet planted into the floor, and you couldn't move; couldn't react. Your eyes closed involuntarily, your heart beating out of your chest as you obeyed him; what other choice did you have? Lying to yourself was much better than facing the undeniable truth — you wanted this. You wanted to get a reaction out of him, to provoke him, watch him break and fight for whatever you two had. And, based on the way he pulled you closer by your hips, pressing against you as if he didn't want to let go — it definitely worked.

You desperately kissed him back, unable to hide what you truly wanted no more — your hands tangling in his hair, tugging at the strands with a little too much force than you anticipated. You felt Nicholas' mocking smile against your lips, a soft groan that you oh, missed so dearly leaving his mouth when he felt the harsh sting on his scalp. The pain only seemed to fuel him further, his fingers digging into your waist as if he wanted to leave bruises there — claiming you as his for anyone else to see. Your breaths mingled together, short and shallow, as you devoured each other as if it was the last thing you were going to do. Your mouth parted in an involuntary moan when Nicholas pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth, his greedy touch hurriedly backing you against the window.

As soon as your bare back made contact with the cool glass, a shiver ran down your spine — an involuntary squeak leaving your throat, being swallowed by his greedy lips on yours. Nicholas wouldn't let you breathe, putting all of his gathered anger, annoyance and lust into the kiss, making sure you could feel him all over you.

"You drive me fucking insane", he breathed out, slipping his knee between your legs just as his lips began to travel down your throat, biting the sensitive skin there, soothing the pain with his tongue immediately after. Your head was thrown back, eyes rolling back into your head, your nails raking through his messy curls to ground yourself in any way you could. "Still hate me?".

You let out a breathless chuckle that quickly turned into a moan — Nicholas' breath tickled your collarbone, his mouth working on your sensitive skin as if he couldn't get enough.

"More than ever", you choked out, pulling his head up so that you could reconnect your lips, already missing the addicting taste of his mouth. Your tongue parted his lips, and Nicholas groaned lowly, the sound bubbling in his throat as he greedily kissed you back. No matter how hard you tried to keep your guard up, to push him away and slap him across his stupidly handsome face — you couldn't bring yourself to do so. Maybe it was the way his hands roamed up and down your sides, squeezing your skin as if he was scared you'd slip away; or maybe it was the smell, taste, warmth of him on your body. There was no denying he was the only one that could make you feel this good — and he barely even started.

So you allowed him to do whatever he pleased.

One of Nicholas' hands travelled all over your side, lifting the hem of your little top as it moved up your stomach slowly, teasingly. His long, thick fingers brushed against your skin, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body, shiver running down your spine. Nicholas reached the bottom of your bare boobs, and a deep groan left his mouth when you arched into his touch.

"No bra?", he chuckled lowly, pulling away to look into your eyes. "You're such a slut. You were ready to jump into a random guy's bed, weren't you?".

You were unable to reply. Anger bubbled in your chest, your cheeks growing warm as you sent him a glare through your lashes.

"Says you. A literal definition of a man whore", you rolled your eyes, your nails raking down his shirt—covered chest. Nicholas' eyes hardened as he stared down at you, his hand on your hip tightening in an almost painful grip. His nails dig into your skin as he pulled you closer, his other hand pulling on the hem of your shirt to lift it up; your boobs spilling out of the tight fabric almost immediately.

You gasped when your overheated skin got exposed to the cold air. Your nipples hardened under Nicholas' dark eyes, and you watched as he run his tongue along his bottom lip, clearly impressed by the reaction he managed to get out of you. You fought the urge to wet your lips as you watched him, anticipation blooming deep in your stomach.

Nicholas' breath tickled your lips as he finally met your gaze again. He smirked down at you, somehow pressing you harder against the cool glass, the grip he had on your hip unforgiving.

"Yet you keep on coming back. Why the fuck do you keep on coming back?", he groaned against your lips, his hand finally meeting the soft skin of your breast. Nicholas watched as your back arched off the glass, your eyes threatening to close as he squeezed your boob harshly, the feeling of his palm against your nipple heavenly.

You stifled a whine that wanted to erupt from your throat. Instead, you gripped Nicholas' broad shoulders — your long, manicured nails digging into his skin as you desperately tried to maintain your composure. Your mouth parted, and a prolonged, desperate breath left you before you could stop it.

"I don't know", you swallowed loudly; your lips brushed against Nicholas' as you spoke, his eyes melting into yours with intensity that left you breathless. He chuckled, tilting his head slightly; a playful, teasing smile played on his lips as he tugged on your nipple with his forefinger and thumb, catching you off guard. You moaned, your whole body reacting to his all-too-familiar touch as a shiver run down your spine. Nicholas cursed under his breath, his bottom lip getting caught between his teeth as he carefully studied your face.

"You're not a good liar. Just admit it. You know I can make you feel better than anyone. You know you're mine. You know I'm yours, baby".

You let out a shaky breath you didn't realise you were holding, your eyes locking with his — the weight of the unspoken words heaved on your shoulders, making it impossible for you to think straight. You let your head fall back against the window as you desperately tried to put some distance between the two of you. The hand playing with your breast moved down your body, reaching the bottom of your thigh before he hooked your leg around his waist.

"Nicholas—", you choked out, your lashes fluttering as you looked up at him, your tongue darting out to wet your dry lips. He hummed lowly, squeezing the soft skin of your thigh before his hand slipped under the hem of your skirt.

"Tell me to leave, and I will", he whispered, his fingertips gently rubbing against your sensitive inner-thigh, once again making you gulp. "Say it, Y/N. What do you want?".

Nicholas shifted closer, his face now inches away from yours, his eyes boring into yours with intensity that made your breath hitch in your throat. You knew you should tell him to leave, to make him feel like he made you plenty of times before. Your voice died in your throat, and before you knew it, you were kissing him again.

You were tired of acting like you didn't want him. You were tired of the sleepless nights you spent thinking about this exact moment. Your hands moved down Nicholas' chest, slipping under his shirt to brush against his well-defined stomach. Your leg against his waist tightened, and so did Nicholas' grip on your thigh as he groaned into your mouth, his hips tightly pressed against your inner thigh.

"I want you, Nic. All of you. I want it so fucking bad it hurts", you breathed into his mouth before sucking his bottom lip lewdly, your hips rocking against his thigh securely pressed between your legs. You tugged on the hem of his shirt, silently asking Nicholas to take it off, and he obeyed. You barely broke the kiss as he lifted it over his head, throwing it onto the floor carelessly. You could feel the hardness of his erection press against your bare skin, the rough material of his jeans grinding against your thigh.

"Then take me", he groaned into your mouth, his voice filled with urgency. His hips snapped forward, experimentally grinding into your thigh, letting you feel just how ready he was for you. You mewled like a frightened kitten, the adrenaline pumping in your veins, your heart feeling as if it could jump out of your chest. Your body betrayed how you truly felt, your pelvis snapping towards Nicholas, as if you couldn't bare being away from him. "Claim me as yours for everyone else to see".

Your head was spinning, and his words didn't help with the burning sensation spreading across your stomach. The closer Nicholas' hand got to your clothed centre, the more your back arched off the window, your erect nipples rubbing against his bare chest. More moans slipped past your lips, and you didn't hold them back — you couldn't, even if you tried. With the little strength you had left, you pushed him back, leaving him no choice but to fall on your bed. It creaked in protest at Nicholas' weight, but he only chuckled, eyeing you up and down hungrily. He leaned back on his elbows, his feet dangling off the mattress as he patiently waited for your next move. His obedience was surprising — but not unpleasant. With a newfound confidence, you made your way towards him, your hair falling over your shoulders in a way that had Nicholas' breath hitch. His pupils were dilated, chest heaving as he inhaled sharply, watching you with a lopsided smile.

Slowly and teasingly, you pulled your top over your head, throwing it onto the ground, standing by the side of the bed now half-naked. A shiver run down your spine as Nicholas sat up, his face now centimetres away from your chest, his dark eyes staring up at you intensely.

"Take this off", he ordered, pointing towards your little skirt, his tone leaving no room to protest; not that you wanted to. Your hands were shaky as you hastily reached for the waistband of your skirt, looking down at him for approval — it was incredible how much power he held over you, even when you were on top, standing before him; towering over him. Slowly, you tugged on the zipper, feeling the fabric loosen against your waist before falling to the floor with a soft thump. Your heart raced in your chest as you stepped out of the skirt, leaving you almost fully exposed before Nicholas' hungry eyes.

In an instant, his hands were on you, as if he couldn't bare not touching you for a second longer. Your chest heaved with uneven breaths, your knees buckling as Nicholas' hands found place on your thighs, pulling you closer towards the edge of the bed. His eyes roamed down your body, taking in every single detail, that, in his eyes, made you perfect. He eyed the skimpy, black thong that covered your most intimate part, his eyes glimmering in the dim light, as if he couldn't believe you were real.

"You're so fucking hot", he groaned, tugging on the waistband of your underwear before letting it snap against your skin. You hissed, grounding yourself with your hands on his chiselled shoulders, uncontrollably moving closer towards him.

"Those fucking tits of yours," Nicholas groaned, throwing his head back dramatically, his hands moving down your sides only to rest on your hips. He licked his lips; his dark, penetrative eyes gazed right back at you, causing your chest to heave with uneven breaths. "They're perfect. You're perfect. And all mine, aren't you?" he growled, not once looking away from you as his tongue darted out, swirling around your left nipple with undeniable precision. You threw your head back, your back arching into his mouth, hearing Nicholas groan into your flesh. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pushing you plush against him as if he didn't need to breathe, as if he wanted to lose himself completely in you. He kissed the valley between your boobs, biting the sensitive skin there, his attentive eyes following your every reaction.

"Yours— All yours, Nick", you whined, words dying in your throat as his hands travelled down your back, over the curve of your ass, squeezing your buttcheeks roughly, pushing your pelvis towards him.

His nails dig into your skin, making you let out an involuntary moan, your fingers raking through his hair, toying with the soft strands.

"That's my girl", Nicholas' voice was filled with pride, and a prolonged sigh left his mouth, as if this moment was everything he dreamed about. His eyes looked up at you, filled with raw need, his pupils completely blown out, swallowing his irises fully. You gulped at the praise, looking down at him with flushed cheeks and pounding heart. Nicholas licked a long stripe up your sternum, leaving your skin burning and glistening under his hungry gaze.

Slowly and deliberately, his hands moved up and down your sides, caressing your soft skin with an almost gentle care, as if he tried to memorise how your flesh felt against his fingertips. His lips moved down your body, lingering on your ribs, leaving pecks as he went. The occasional glide of his tongue against your skin left you trembling, your knees bucking under the immerse pleasure as they hit the bed frame. Nicholas' big hands kept you upright, guiding you to straddle his lap, and you obediently did so. With your legs now on both sides of his thick thighs and with the flames licking your insides, you tugged on Nicholas' hair, tilting his head towards you, meeting his gaze with a small smile. His eyes were half-lidded, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, the sting on his scalp only adding to his arousal. You could feel his cock press into your clothed centre, straining against his pants, practically begging to be freed. With a sly smile, you tested the waters, grinding your hips back and fourth against him, causing a small whine to escape from his throat.

"You're mine", you murmured, brushing your lips against his; just enough to feel the heat radiating off him, his eyes locking with yours as he nodded. You tutted, tugging on his strands tighter, "Nuh-uh. Not good enough. Say it".

Your voice left no room to protest. Nicholas gulped, his hands grounding you on his erection, pushing you down with enough force to make you hum. "I'm all yours, Y/N. Always had been", he inhaled sharply, bucking his hips up to meet you halfway. The connection between you was almost palpable, knocking the breath out of your lungs, causing your chest to heave with every sharp intake of breath. You've never felt more alive than then; on Nicholas' lap, with his attentive eyes on your face like you were the only one that mattered. You scratched the soft skin behind his ears, your thumbs rubbing soft circles onto his cheeks as you leaned down to kiss him again. This time, you took things slow, savouring the taste of him on the tip of your tongue, feeling his hands on your ass, guiding you to rut against his clothed arousal. Your moans were breathless and swallowed by Nicholas' mouth as he eagerly swirled his tongue around yours, one of his indecisive hands travelling up your back to tangle in your hair.

You were right where you were supposed to.

"Fuck me", Nicholas chuckled lowly as you pulled away, moving down to nib and kiss his defined jaw, feeling his soft stubble scratch your skin as you did. You grinned against his skin, pushing him down to make him lay flat on the bed, and he obeyed, taking you with him as he went. Your hair fell on your face as you towered over him, your palms flat on both sides of his head. Slowly and sensually, you leaned down, pushing your hair out of the way to press a lingering kiss on the side of Nicholas' neck. He groaned — the sound vibrated against your lips as you licked a stripe up his throat, biting the sensitive spot under his jaw that you knew made him squirm each time. Nicholas' hands guided you, pressing you flat against his chest with a tight grip on your ass, his hips snapping upwards in search of any kind of friction he could get. Your appreciative hums were muffled by his skin as you sucked, bit and kissed on every inch you could reach, slowly moving down towards his chest.

"Mark me up for everyone to see", Nicholas choked out, his grip on your ass almost painful, now, as he used it for leverage to grind his cock into your pussy. You moaned shamelessly at his words, feeling fireworks erupt in your stomach as the adrenaline took over. You flicked your tongue against his prominent collarbone, sucking hickeys into his tan skin, pressing kisses on every beauty mark adorning his chest you could find.

By the time you were satisfied with your work, Nicholas was a groaning mess underneath you. His spit-covered skin glistened under the city lights creeping into the room, the contours of his face even more prominent now. Purple marks adorned the sides of his neck, collarbones and the column of his throat — you felt a rush of joy fill your heart at the sight. The thought of him being so obviously marked by you made your heart race, and, with a satisfied smile, you gently run your fingertips over the love bites you left just below Nicholas' collarbone.

"Beautiful", you mumbled, tilting your head slightly, watching as a wide, dazed smile made its way onto Nicholas' face. You felt him throb underneath you, his patience slipping with every second; and, just as you thought about how good he was doing under your control, he flipped you over.

Your back hit the soft mattress, Nicholas' face inches away from yours as he crawled in between your legs, spreading them wider on both sides of his defined hips. His hands slowly travelled up your body, memorising each curve of your body; unrelenting gaze following every reaction he managed to get out of you. The feeling of his breath against your lips made you dizzy, and your back arched off the mattress in desperate search of friction that he wasn't granting you. Your nipples rubbed against his chest, and you clawed on his defined shoulders as his fingers towered over the waistband of your thong, just barely brushing over your sensitive skin.

An uninvited shudder ran down your spine as you met Nicholas' gaze again. He slid the thong down your legs, slowly, delicately, almost as if he was afraid he'd break you if he pressed too hard. Nicholas chuckled lowly, throwing your damp underwear on the floor with a little care, leaning back to look at your — now exposed — pussy.

One of his hands reached up, cupping your breast for a second, long enough to make you arch against him, before it moved up, wrapping around your throat. Nicholas' grip was firm and tight enough to make you deliciously lightheaded, and you gasped, feeling a strong sting on the side of your ass.

"Such a dirty fuckin' girl. You're soaking", he cooed, the previous softness in his gaze nowhere to be found. All you could see was the all consuming darkness and lust, drifting just below the surface, ready to be freed. "You've been dying to have my cock inside you, weren't you?".

You tried your best to nod, but it was nearly impossible when he pressed his thumb against your pulse point, sending you a dirty, open-mouthed smirk that made your stomach hurl. Another spank against the side of your ass, and your legs were tightening around Nicholas' hips, your own grinding into the air in search of any kind of relief.

He clicked his tongue, clearly enjoying the control he had over you. Your jaw was slack, every muscle in your body tense as you waited, obediently leaning down against the pillows, your limp arms falling on both sides of your head.

"Want me to make you feel good, baby?", he asked, grinning when you tried to nod again, his grip on your throat tightening just barely. White dots erupted in front of your eyes, your chest tightening due to the lack of air in your lungs, feeling as if you could pass out any second now. With the last ounce of power you had, you gripped Nicholas' forearm, your nails digging into his skin with enough force to leave marks. Your pussy clenched around nothing, practically begging to be touched, to be taken care of, your body now shaking in Nicholas' tight grasp.

You gasped abruptly as his hand loosened around your throat, finally giving you room to breathe. Instead, it travelled down your body, exploring every inch, every curve. Nicholas leaned down again just as his fingers brushed over your pussy — the touch feather-like, but enough to make you rasp for more.

"Nick", you choked out, reaching out for him, raking your nails down his back. Nicholas' other arm was outstretched beside your head, keeping him upright as he towered over you, once again leaning down to barely graze your bottom lip with his teeth. "Shit, I need you. Need you so bad".

Your voice came out strangled, but you didn't care; you weren't afraid to beg him for what you wanted. Any ounce of self-control left you whenever he was close, but you didn't mind. He set your insides on fire like no one else could.

When Nicholas licked his lips, smiling cruelly before pressing the two of his fingers against your clit, all you could do was gasp. He knew exactly what to do with his fingers and how to use them, circling your sensitive bud as if you were the only thing that mattered. He hissed through his teeth, clicking his tongue as your jaw dropped, brows furrowing as quiet moans escaped you.

"So wet f'me, fuck", he mused, his lips ghosting over your jaw just as two of his fingers slipped inside your tight hole. You cried out, nails digging into his forearm resting beside your head as it fell back against the sheets. You clenched around his digits as he pushed them as deep as they could go, burying them inside you; curling them upwards to get more sweet moans out of your swollen lips. Your eyes rolled back into your head, chest heaving with uneven breaths as Nicholas' breath tickled your ear, his teeth grazing your lobe teasingly. "So fuckin' tight. Just squeezing my fingers", he chuckled darkly. His voice sent shiver down your spine, and you found yourself reaching for him, your hands roaming over his chest, arms and shoulders as if you couldn't bear being away from him. The feeling of his fingers buried deep within your walls combined with the feeling of Nicholas' hard, muscular body on top of you was almost too much, and you were choking on your breath, almost embarrassed by how quickly he made you lose control.

That's when he started to pump his digits in and out of you, keeping his movements slow and steady, a memorable gasp leaving your throat every time his palm met your stiff clit. Your eyes were wide and glossy, mouth wide agape as you tried to speak, signal how good he made you feel; except that you didn't have to. Nicholas could see it, feel it, God, even hear it. The wet, squelching noise filled the silence as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, hitting that special spot that had you seeing stars, your thighs threatening to close around his forearm.

"Shit, Nick, oh my fucking God", you cried out just as your hips rose off the mattress, bucking into his hand greedily, as if you couldn't get enough. Nicholas chuckled, his breath warm against your skin as he trailed kisses down the side of your neck, his skilled tongue flicking against your collarbone teasingly.

"Yes, baby, you're doing so good f'me", he cooed, mouth moving up your body only to reconnect your lips hastily. You moaned into the kiss, barely able to kiss him back as your stomach tightened; his fingers working in and out of your cunt, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit. "Such a good fucking girl. You wanna cum f'me? Wanna soak my fucking hand, hmm? Fucking say it", he growled against your lips, leaning back just enough to wrap his free hand around your neck again. You gasped, barely able to obtain the whimpers that continued to leave your mouth, and you were already there—

"Wanna cum for you, want it s'bad", you choked out, meeting his demanding gaze with a hint of desperation in your own. You clenched down on his fingers, your walls throbbing as you wailed, back arching off the bed. "Shit, shit, shit! Please, let me cum, Nick—".

He smiled cruelly before pulling his fingers out of your tight cunt, your walls clamping down on them as if to prevent him from leaving. You cried out, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes as your stomach tightened, hips rising off the mattress in search of his addicting touch again — but to no avail.

"Not quite good enough, baby", he snarled, pulling you up by your neck, positioning you so that you could sit upright, now facing him. Before you could say something, beg him to please let you cum this time, he tapped two of his soaked fingers against your lower lip. "Suck. Let's see if I trained you well".

Your jaw went slack, eyes clouded with lust, and you obeyed, your tongue lolling out of your mouth to eagerly lap at his digits, tasting yourself. Nicholas chuckled, clearly amused by your obedience, pushing his fingers into your mouth, the hand on your neck loosening just slightly. You hollowed your cheeks, running your tongue in between his fingers, bobbing your head the same you'd do if it was his cock in your mouth. Without a second thought and clearly growing impatient, he thrusted all the way in until you choked on his fingers, moaning like a bitch in heat, whimpering and trying your best to breathe through your nose. You looked up at Nicholas through your lashes and you met his gaze, dark and filled with longing so strong it made your heart race.

With a satisfied smile, he pulled out — a string of saliva connecting you to his fingers, and you smacked your lips together, already toying with the waistband of his pants, impatient.

"How'd I do?", you panted, slowly pulling the fabric down Nicholas' legs, along with his black boxers, not once looking away from his face. His thumb brushed against your cheek in an almost loving manner, a gentle, sweet smile adoring his lips. The fire in his gaze made your head spin, and you slowly positioned him to lay down on the bed — and he did, not before throwing his underwear on the floor carelessly.

"Fuckin' perfect. Come on, sit on my face, baby", he groaned, and you couldn't help but bite back a whimper, staring at him all doe-eyed, blinking slowly. You obeyed, crawling up his body until you straddled his hard chest, your pussy clenching and unclenching at the sight underneath you. When you moved higher, he stopped you with a quick flick of his hand. "Nuh-uh. Turn around, baby. You're gonna suck my cock like a fuckin' whore you are, right?".

And so you did, nodding obediently. You clumsily straddled Nicholas' face, falling forward as his tongue licked a stripe from the clit to your tight hole immediately. He didn't wait a second, grabbing your ass tightly to push you down onto his face as if he didn't need to breathe, as if he was starved and you were the only one that could satisfy his hunger. Your hips rocked down onto his face, your shaky hands already reaching out to wrap around his reddened cock, your mouth watering at the sight of it alone.

Nicholas groaned, hips bucking into your face as you hastily run your tongue against his tip, humming when the taste of his salty pre-cum flooded your senses. You took him into your mouth, not hesitating before working down his shaft, costing him in your saliva, your hand stroking the part of him you couldn't put in your mouth yet. Nicholas' needy whines and moans were muffled by your pussy as he squeezed your ass, lazily circling your clit with his tongue, manoeuvring between long, slow licks and quick, steady strokes. Your eyes watered, and it didn't take long to feel your stomach tighten. You abruptly pulled away from his cock, instead focusing on jerking him off the best you could while grinding down onto his face, head thrown back in ecstasy.

"Oh my fucking— Nick, I'm so close, can I cum f'you, please? Been so good f'you", you choked out as you felt your thighs shake around Nicholas' head, your grip on his cock tightening just enough to make Nicholas groan into your cunt. The vibrations sent a shiver down your spine, and as much as you didn't want to suffocate him, you also couldn't stop the desperate bucking of your hips. Your breaths came out short and ragged, eyes squeezed shut as the tip of his tongue teased your clenching, leaking hole, eagerly lapping everything you offered him.

Nicholas pulled back just enough to breathe for a second. One of his hands travelled up your ass, lingering on your back before tangling in your hair, roughly pushing your head down.

"If you wanna cum, you're gonna do it while I fuck your face— how's that sound? Hmm?", he mumbled, and you nodded, eager as ever, already lining his cock up to the level of your lips, your tongue lolling out of your mouth only to dip it into his sensitive slit. A shudder run down your spine when he moaned into you, the hand in your hair tightening just barely to assert his dominance over you. His hips began to buck into your awaiting mouth, and you hummed lowly, wrapping your lips against his thick head, swirling your tongue just the way you knew he liked it. The taste of him, combined with his lips now beginning to continue their assault on your puffy cunt, had you seeing stars in no time. Nicholas flicked his tongue over your little nub just the way he knew you liked it, and you couldn't help but rock your hips in the rhythm of his mouth moving on you. Tears bricked in the corners of your eyes as your throat contracted around his tip, your tongue constantly rubbing against the underside of his cock; his breathy groans from underneath you only spurred you on.

"Cum for me, baby", Nicholas whispered, holding you in place as he bucked into your mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head when you swallowed and choked on his impressive length resting in your throat as if it belonged here. His grip on you was tight, bruising, and if it wasn't for the fireworks erupting in your lower belly, you'd probably cry out in pain. Saliva and pre-cum dropped down your chin, but you couldn't care less, as your back arched, hips moving mindlessly against Nicholas' face as much as they could. Your little, pathetic moans and whimpers were muffled by his cock as you came, shaking in Nicholas' tight grip, your nails digging into his thighs, leaving crescent marks in their wake.

It was earth-shattering, and for a moment you thought as if you might've passed out. Nicholas lapped everything you offered him eagerly, overstimulating your already spent pussy as he pressed soft kisses all over your mound. You pulled away from his cock, a string of saliva stretching between your lower lip and the reddened, leaking tip. As much as you wanted to make him cum, too, your whole body protested, and you fell back against the sheets limply. A broken sob escaped your mouth as you struggled to catch your breath, eyes and legs squeezed shut.

Nicholas wasn't having any of it, though. Before you knew it, he slipped in between your legs, his muscular body resting on top of you as if to prevent you from slipping away. One of his hands cradled your face, his thumb brushing against your burning skin in an almost soothing manner. You looked up at him through your lashes, meeting his dark gaze immediately. The intensity between you seemed to grow with each passing second, and you found yourself reaching for him, pulling him down just so that he could kiss you.

You tasted yourself on Nicholas' lips, whimpering into his mouth when his hardness brushed against your lower stomach, big and ever so needy. Your hands were in Nicholas' hair, pulling on the soft strands, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. You had no idea how much you missed this, missed him, until he was so close to you again. Your back arched into his body as he moved to lift your thigh up his body, securing it on his waist, his tongue toying with yours in a way that had your head spin.

"Fucking look at you", he rasped lowly, gripping the base of his cock to rub himself up and down your wetness, coating himself in your sweet juices. You clenched around nothing, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood, the tension in your stomach building up the more time passed. "My needy, perfect girl. You're gonna fucking take it, yeah? I know you will".

You mindlessly nodded, and Nicholas chuckled, clearly amused by your fucked-up state — and he barely even started. Without a warning, he slipped into your wet, inviting hole, bottoming out almost instantly. He had no patience to take it slow anymore, consumed by the pure need running through his veins. Encouraged by the soft mewl that left your swollen lips, he began pounding into you, pressing one of your legs into the mattress to have you all spread out for him.

"Shit, Nic — God, you're so fucking big", you choked out, your nails digging into Nicholas' chest, leaving red marks in their wake. He met your gaze, sending you his typical, open-mouthed smirk that had your eyes rolling back.

Nicholas grabbed your jaw, forcing you to keep your gaze on him as he adjusted his position, just so that his lower abdomen brushed against your clit every time he bottomed out. Every now and then, he'd stop, grinding his hips against yours to let you feel all of him. You choked on your breath, unable to break the eye contact, your jaw slightly agape as his name left your mouth like a prayer. Your thighs shook where he had you pinned to the bed, your core clenching around him as if to prevent him from leaving. His cock dragged against your walls, and Nicholas made sure you could feel every vein, every throb, every delicious inch of it rearranging your insides. It didn't take long for the coil in your stomach to tighten yet again. You sobbed, feeling the saltiness of your own tears lingering in the corner of your lips. Throwing your head back, your hips bucked up to meet Nicholas halfway; your wide, glossy eyes focused on his face — on the way his jaw dropped, brows furrowed, his dark gaze burning into yours with intensity that left you shaking.

"You look s'pretty, drunk on my fucking cock. You're perfect. My perfect girl", Nicholas cooed, groping your boob tightly, pounding into you as if you were nothing more than his personal toy.

And you loved every second of it.

Your bottom lip trembled as you bit on it, desperately trying to conceal the pathetic sounds that threatened to leave your throat with every brutal thrust. Nicholas pinched your nipple between his fingers, throwing his head back and groaning deeply. The sound alone made you gush around him, your orgasm beginning to overtake you, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to hold it even if he asked you to.

"Nick, I'm— Oh, fuck — I'm gonna cum, please, can I cum f'you?", you managed to choke out, pulling him closer, your hands clasping down on his broad shoulders for balance. Nicholas chuckled breathlessly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You felt him twitch against your walls, signalling that he was close as well, holding out just for you.

"Shit, baby, you're gonna make me cum already", he groaned, partially amazed, but not surprised. "You're gonna cum with me, baby— I'm gonna pump you full of my cum, yeah? Oh, you fucking love it", he laughed breathlessly, feeling you clench around him at the promise in his words. It was utterly possessive, the way his voice trembled, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he neared the all familiar edge. And you weren't far behind.

"You're mine. You're fucking mine, baby. I'm never letting you go", he muttered lowly before stilling inside you, making you groan in disappointment. "Turn around".

You obeyed, letting his cock plop out of your cunt for a spare second before you turned around on shaky legs. Nicholas' rough hand pressed on your lower back, arching you for him, your ass now on full display for his greedy eyes. Before you knew it, he was already back inside you, setting a rough, earth-shattering pace that had you clutching on the sheets. A strangled, broken sob left your mouth, and Nicholas moaned lowly, watching the way your backside snapped against his hips with each thrust. With one of his hands on your hip and the other tangled in your hair, Nicholas pulled you flush against him, your back meeting his hard chest. The sound of skin slapping, punctuated by your cries and Nicholas' low groans filled the room, so familiar; so addicting.

"Open your mouth f'me, baby, c'mon", he urged, and you obeyed, your head resting against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms securely around your waist, keeping you upright. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth as you stared up at him, wide eyed, mascara smudged over your flushed cheeks, neck covered with hickeys of his creation. With a throaty groan, he spat in your mouth, making sure your eyes stayed locked on his as he did. "Swallow".

So you did. Your legs trembled as you neared your peak again, your back arching off his chest just as one of his hands travelled down your body, squeezing your left buttock roughly. Nicholas' touch was so addicting; you nearly screamed in pleasure when he spanked you, once, twice, thrice. He made sure to claim you in every way possible, to make sure you'd never look in the direction of another man ever again.

Your orgasm hit you without a warning. You fell forward, burying your face in the sheets as you screamed, creaming all over Nicholas' cock, going limp in his grasp. He moaned shamelessly, watching the way your juices created a creamy ring around the base of his cock. The sight alone made his muscles clench, thrusts becoming sloppy as he gripped your hips, his head thrown back in ecstasy.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! — Oh my God, yes", he whimpered lowly, bottoming out before letting go; spurts of his hot, sticky cum claiming your walls, his cock pulsing and throbbing inside you making you moan into the sheets. You grinded back the best you could, milking him of everything he had to offer, and God — even he could feel how much he filled you up.

Nicholas collapsed on top of you, and you welcomed the familiar weight of his body pressing against yours. You were shaking, your breaths coming out in short, uneven gasps, the sheets beneath you soaked with tears that couldn't seem to stop flowing. The weight of your actions rested on your shoulders as you became to come down from the high. You had hoped he wouldn't leave this time — the thought itself made your heart ache, your throat burning with the words you wished you had the courage to say to him.

"Shh. C'mere, baby", Nicholas' soothing voice reached your ear as he kissed the back of your neck softly, his breath tickling your skin. You winced when he slowly pulled out of your drenched hole, not giving you a second to think before he leaned against the headboard, pulling you to lay on his chest. You sniffled, pushing your face into his bicep, inhaling the familiar scent of his. "I'm sorry. I didn't know— I just hoped you'd notice me. It's so complicated, Y/N. I don't want to ruin everything we have".

The words made you sniffle into his skin, pulling him closer as if you didn't want him to leave — and, in fact, it was true. You bit your lip, thinking about everything you've been through together; the longing you felt for him almost making your heart burst.

"I love you, Nick. I love you so bad it hurts. It's okay if you want to leave, I broke a rule, and I didn't—"

"Stop, Y/N. Stop", he interrupted, cradling your cheek softly, tilting your head so that you could meet his gaze. Your lower lip trembled when Nicholas' thumb rubbed circles into your skin, somehow making your muscles relax against him. "I love you. You hear me? I. Love. You. I want to be with you. Wake up by your side every day, fall asleep with you in my arms. Fuck, I could never want anything more", he whispered, and your heart fluttered in your chest, your jaw dropping as you searched for any kind of hesitation on his face. You didn't find any.

You sniffled again, letting out a relieved sigh; the weight on your heart seemed to finally fall into the dark abyss, replaced with relief so strong it almost made you sob.

"Let me take care of you now", Nicholas whispered, giving you space to rest, let his previous words sink in, smiling down at you with the all familiar warmth — and it felt like home, for the first time in a long time. "Should we search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?".

You couldn't help but chuckle softly, kissing the side of his neck lovingly. Nicholas' hand found yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as if you were meant to be.

And maybe you were.

Just two souls, so utterly different; but they wouldn't be able to function without each other.

❝ hoffmansgirl © 2025 | do not copy, translate, recreate or plagiarise my content. 𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗔𝗦 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ❞

tags (click here to be added): @darlingnikkisixxxx @titsout4jackles @brlwla @blackynsupremacy @mrs-riddlexo @essentialwriter @nicholaschavezslut69 @niteskysx @emluvsuxo @nicholaslut @greengoblinswifey @sin-deciric @onlyangelicc @urlitttlevenicebitch @violetidk @motherismotheringggg @c-cobweb @rosetintmworld @iamsebastiansstan @chr0nicradness

[dollarbils]

my girl’s a stalker | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. your burning desire for your stalker soon turns into something else, does that truly mean you don’t want her?

warnings. smut, strap, harsh words, physical struggle

part1, part2 masterlist

you hadn’t seen billie since she’d driven you home, and it was driving you insane. she was all you could think about, all the fucking time. and it pissed you off.

you couldn’t shake the thought of her. she was like a poison, slowly beginning to eat at your insides, pulling at your heart. you wouldn’t admit the fear creeping in however, your dependency on her attention beginning to scare you.

you were willing to do anything for a shred of care from her. you wanted her to need you like you needed her. the frustration was excruciating.

“what’s on that pretty mind of yours?” her voice spooked you beyond measure, the manifestation of your thoughts not quite believable.

“nothing.” your response was dry, not having recovered from the weight of your thoughts, still trapped in the escape of your mind.

“hm, gone shy now that i’m finally here? i know you’ve been thinking about me.” sometimes you genuinely wondered if she could see your thoughts, she certainly liked to pretend she could.

“what are you doing here, billie?” she looked slightly taken aback, not expecting the sudden hostility.

“why so blue?” she stepped into the light of the moon, her features seeming to glow as you looked at her in awe. her smile was sickening, so fucking gorgeous. her hands reached your face, cupping your cheeks.

“stop it billie.” you pulled her hands away, stepping back, out of fear you’d succumb to her comfort.

“what’s wrong, baby.” she seemed genuinely confused, and a tinge of guilt poked at you.

“i’m not your baby.” you crossed your arms in an assertive act, but she was biting her lip, scanning your body with that seductive look of hers.

“you could be, what’s stopping you?” she tried to come close again, but you backed away.

“i kissed you, and then you ignored me for a week! how am i supposed to react?” her bottom lip stuck out in an ask for forgiveness.

“i’ve been occupied lately.” her excuse was vague, and she knew she wasn’t getting away with it. secretly, she was hoping you’d ask.

“with what?” she smirked, her tongue coming up to kiss her teeth.

“i had to take care of something, someone.” the clarity of her response was still poor, confusion lacing your brows.

“Noah?” horror flooded your spine when she grinned. the name of your previous fling bringing back a rush of memories.

“that was his name?” she was toying with you, insinuating things you wouldn’t let yourself speak.

“what did you do to him?” you’d underestimated her before, but you undoubtedly knew she what was capable of now. you backed away from her and she furrowed her brows, her eyes wide, chasing after you.

“don’t be so dramatic, babe. this doesn’t change anything.” you gripped your phone in your back pocket, moving away from her cautiously as you thought on possibilities of distracting her.

“it does, depending on what you did.” you grasped the sides of your phone, searching for the button that would make an emergency call.

“jesus christ, all i did was threaten him not to bother you anymore.” Your back hit the wall and your face went pale when she trapped you within her arms.

“with a weapon i’m sure,” she shrugged, “you’re fucking crazy.” she seemed to like what was meant as an insult.

“and you can’t admit you love it.” her fingers grasped your wrist, the one that was deep in your back pocket, and she revealed your tight grip on your phone.

“i thought we’d moved past this?” she pouted, mocking the failed attempt at getting out of this situation. you refused to speak, closing your eyes as her lips came to yours, hovering above them. your body craved her and your senses went blurry, consumed by only her.

“don’t be afraid of me, i’m what you need.” the familiarity of the words did nothing to soothe you, your heart still racing as her tough hands glided down your hips. you squirmed in her embrace, not liking the way your body was so eager to connect with hers.

“don’t deny the fact you want me, you’re not hiding it very well, baby.” her hips moved against yours, the bulge beneath her jeans, prominent.

“f-fuck you.” it was almost a moan, a half-whimper that took of your last shred of confidence, and dignity for that matter. and then you were giving in, kissing her forcefully as she drilled her hips into yours.

“much better.” she breathed and you rolled your eyes as she slipped her fingers under your shirt, unclasping your bra. you allowed her to take both of them off, and she took her lips between her teeth when your breasts spilled out.

“take a fucking picture if it means you’ll hurry up.” she chuckled at the comment and lifts you into her arms, before releasing you onto your own bed, at least she had the decency.

“such a brat. you’re so fucking lucky i find it sexy.” she takes your nipple in her mouth as she plays with the buttons of your jeans. your lips are parted, soft noises escaping occasionally.

“you’re fucking lucky i put up with your shit.” you responded, in the same tone. her lips left your tit, as she poked her cheek with her tongue.

“my shit? you’re the one who can’t fucking listen to simple instructions.” she manages to flip you over, so that you’re lying on your stomach, with protest however.

“just.. f-fuck.” she’d had enough of what she deemed your nonsense, shutting you up with the tip of her strap against your clothed pussy.

“what’s that, love?” your mouth had gone dry with the constant gasps as she pressed her tip against you. your heat was practically dripping all over the sheets.

“you’re making such a mess, i haven’t even properly touched you.” she nearby ripped your underwear off, revealing your glistening pussy. she couldn’t help but spread your wetness around with her thumb, brushing your clit so deliciously.

“b-billie.” her name had never sounded so good to her. she squeezed your ass as she soaked in the sound of her name as a gasp from your lips.

“beg.” she fisted your hair and held your torso as she pulled you up until you were sitting on your heels. her strap digging into your ass, reminding you of your position. she kissed your neck while she waited for a response.

“f-fuck, please billie.” your head fell back as she tutted in disapproval, her lips still ghosting the skin below your ear, before she lifted them and whispered.

“you can do better than that, babe.” she bit your ear lobe as you let out another whine of protest.

“what do you want from me? im sorry, j-just please, billie.” your cries were incoherent, bland of nonsense. but fuck, did she love it.

“a bit pathetic hm?” she pushed your body back onto the bed, the momentum causing you to bounce slightly. a raspy whimper escaped as she teased your entrance, circling it and applying pressure. you thought you’d burst if she pushed it in, which she soon did, entirely.

“b-billie.” she thrusted into you as she revelled in the string of moans coming from your mouth, desperate to cling onto them.

“fuck, you’re tight baby.” her fake cock was stretching you out so deliciously, and her pace was never-faltering. she tugged on your hair as she rutted into you from behind, pulling your face from the sheets in order to hear your moans.

“mm, taking me so well, huh? so pretty.” the base of the strap hit her clit repeatedly as she thrusted deep inside of you. she pulled your legs around her waist, aiming to go even deeper, hitting your spot over and over again until your vision turned white, littered with fucking stars.

“fuckk billie, i-i’m.” your words were barely audible, but she caught wind of them regardless, amused at your current state.

“i know gorgeous, come on you can take it.” she eased you further to your release, the pent up tension breaking as a wave of pleasure consumed your body. her strap still buried inside of you was helping you ride out your orgasm. and soon after pulling out, she joined you on the bed.

“does that earn me a goodnight kiss?”

you rolled your eyes, she was unbelievable.

note: this basically equates to 1/4 of my inbox, here you go 🤲

[toruskiii]

MR. TELEPHONE MAN!

"𝘔𝘳. 𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦! 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺'𝘴 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳, 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦!"

Synopsis: Pick up, pick up, pick up— still no answer. Desperately trying to reach you after your argument, Boothill finds himself repeatedly directed to the operator's automated voicemail. 'Please hang up and try again, baby.' Genre: Comfort, fluff Character: Boothill x gn!reader Warnings: Established relationship, mentions of Dan Heng, a little strayed from canon events maybe, slightly ooc, mentions of prior argument, slight angst if you squint, half of the fic is just Boothill and Dan Heng having a heart to heart bro talk lol [masterlist] [about me]

Boothill cursed himself silently, though as vigorously as he could manage since his synesthesia beacon was malfunctioning. Walking briskly around the Parlor car, phone gripped tightly in hand, he couldn't escape the relentless sound of the dial tone on repeat. Meanwhile, Dan Heng observed him with a quizzical expression, one brow arched in curiosity.

Witnessing Boothill in such evident distress was a rare sight for Dan Heng. The ranger typically exuded an aura of nonchalant confidence, often adopting a "fudge it, we ball" attitude towards life's challenges. Consequences were either dealt with head-on or circumvented through sheer audacity.

Reckless. Yes, that word seemed to define him perfectly. And perhaps that's why he was so visibly agitated now. Boothill's thumb hovered over the name 'sweetcheeks' on his phone, a term that made Dan Heng cringe inwardly, yet he dismissed it knowing it was a manifestation of love.

"May I inquire as to your purpose for boarding the Astral Express today? If your intention is merely to cause a disturbance, I suggest you reconsider," Dan Heng stated firmly, crossing his arms and adopting his usual stoic expression, his brow arching slightly. While he and the other nameless welcomed all aboard the Express with open arms, Boothill remained a figure of caution, especially given recent events, despite the significant assistance he had provided.

"What? Ain't you the one who said I could drop by anytime?" Boothill retorted, his frown deepening as he clicked his tongue disapprovingly. His attention flickered momentarily to his vibrating phone before returning with disappointment when he heard the all-too-familiar phrase that had been echoing for the past half-hour. "Sorry, please hang up and call again."

"I never made such a claim," Dan Heng countered, a faint hint of amusement dancing in his narrowed eyes as he observed the disgruntled expression on Boothill's face. "Apart from the conductor, Pom Pom, none of my colleagues have had the pleasure of meeting you. It would be prudent for you to acquaint yourself with them before boarding."

Boothill let out a derisive snort, his thumb instinctively jabbing at the 'dial again' button as he locked eyes with Dan Heng. "Aw, come on now. The conductor already gave me the green light. Ain't that sufficient? And you, you actin' like a youngster. Do I gotta meet your folks before I can come over and play?"

Instantly, Boothill regretted his words, his lips forming a tight line as he realized he had overstepped. "Well, shoot. My apologies," he conceded, his voice softened with regret as he retrieved his hat and made his way to the nearest couch, slumping down with a heavy sigh. This was his perpetual dilemma— he was too forthright, too bold with his language. His words spilled out before he could filter them.

Boothill was baffled by his own behavior. Apologizing to strangers or mere acquaintances came naturally to him, the words slipping out effortlessly, whether they were genuine or not. But when it came to you, it was as if his internal wiring malfunctioned. His mechanical body buzzed with static, sparks dancing erratically, and his words emerged in a tangled mess. The simple phrases— "I love you" or "I'm sorry"— seemed trapped behind a barricade, struggling to find their way past his lips.

"Forget it," Dan Heng sighed, striding over to the dejected figure slumped on the couch. "But do enlighten me as to why you're here just to make a phone call, presumably to your significant other? Is it a must to reach them while aboard the Express?"

Boothill simply shrugged, emitting a grunt of frustration before pulling his hat down over his face, a gesture of defeat. "There ain't no signal anywhere else, I reckon. Figured your train might lend me a hand, even just a tad."

As the number continued to ring with no response from you, Boothill finally opened up, his voice softening as he admitted, "Got into a spat with my partner."

With those words, he began to dismantle the barriers surrounding his emotions, allowing them to spill forth within the confines of the Express. Dan Heng listened attentively, offering a supportive presence to the troubled man.

Boothill couldn't shake the feeling of remorse gnawing at him. He knew he had deeply upset you this time, and he had no one to blame but himself. Who wouldn't be hurt if their own partner hurled insults at them, especially when all they wanted was to show care and concern? Boothill couldn't help but imagine how he would feel if the roles were reversed, and the mere thought made his stomach churn.

"I think I really got under their skin— no doubt about it," he muttered to himself, replaying the scene in his mind where you were left with a furrowed brow and glistening tears threatening to spill. In that moment of frustration, he couldn't fathom why you would bother caring about him. After all, he was no longer flesh and blood; he was encased in metal, his heart silent, and his tear ducts dry.

He couldn't feel pain or sorrow like he used to. So why should you waste your concern on someone who couldn't be harmed or hurt? He couldn't feel anything beyond his face. There was no need for you to worry about him getting into trouble or getting hurt, because he wouldn't feel it.

It was a selfish thought, he admitted, yet at the same time, it wasn't. After all, you were human— a fragile being whose existence could be snuffed out in an instant— while he remained invulnerable. So why waste your energy worrying about him, when he should be the one worrying about you?

As Boothill drowned in his sorrows, his metal hand tapping incessantly on his phone in a desperate attempt to reach you, Dan Heng listened intently, a somber hum escaping his lips as he nodded along.

'Sorry, please hang up and call again.'

Well, fork me.

"Have you apologized?"

"I want to," Boothill admitted, his brows furrowing with guilt. He mulled over various ways he could make it up to you without actually uttering those two crucial words—an apology. Perhaps he could buy you your favorite cake, shower you with affectionate kisses until you couldn't help but giggle, and lavish you with words of admiration.

"That sounds more like a birthday celebration, Boothill. It would be selfish and ignorant of you to avoid apologizing," Dan Heng interjected, cutting through Boothill's thoughts with a firm reminder.

"But— But it's dang near impossible to say those words!" Boothill groaned, frustration evident in his voice as he sat upright on the couch, dialing your number once more, silently pleading for you to answer. "It's like pulling teeth."

"And that's precisely the issue you need to address," Dan Heng replied firmly, his gaze unwavering.

The Ranger slumped back, averting his eyes and releasing a heavy sigh of defeat. "…What do you suggest I do, then?"

"Apologize."

"…you—alright. Fine."

"But apologize like you actually mean it, not just because you have to."

As Dan Heng's words sank in, Boothill felt a sudden jolt of realization. Apologize like he meant it— not just because it was expected of him. The gravity of those words hit him like a ton of bricks, causing him to freeze in place, his wide eyes meeting Dan Heng's steady gaze.

With a nod and an encouraging thumbs up from Dan Heng, Boothill was left to ponder his next move in solitude. Did he truly mean it, this apology? Absolutely. It shouldn't be so difficult to utter those words, right?

His thoughts were interrupted by the familiar automated message playing once more: "Sorry, please hang up and call again, baby."

A small gasp escaped Boothill's lips as he jolted upright, his hands trembling as he fumbled with his phone. Could it be? Was it really you on the other end? "W-wait—! Darlin'? Sweetcheeks? Is that really you?" he stammered, lifting the phone to his ear and pacing in circles, heart pounding with anticipation.

"Forgot my voice already?" Your retort hit Boothill like a punch to the gut, and he could almost see the frown forming on your face. He let out a noise of frustration, his head bowed as he nervously fiddled with the hem of his jacket, rendered momentarily speechless. "Erm— nah. How could I?"

If he still possessed skin and flesh, Boothill was certain his palms would be sweating profusely right now. A man who had faced countless bounties on his head, vanquishing his enemies with a flick of his gun, and executing daring escapes from perilous heights— now reduced to a speechless fool at the mere sound of his lover's voice.

"I, uh… I wanted to talk to you," he finally managed to breathe out, his voice laced with uncertainty. He could almost hear the slight scoff on the other end of the line, a sound that made his heart ache with regret.

"About what? I don't think there's much to talk about after the tantrum you threw at me," your voice came through, laced with a hint of bitterness. Were you being immature? Perhaps. But you had every right to be upset, every right to be salty.

Boothill swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper as he stumbled over his words, the apology he wanted to offer caught in his throat. "I- uh, um…" He cursed inwardly, his free hand nervously tugging at a few strands of his hair in a panic.

Darn it, why didn't he ask Dan Heng when the Express would reach the planet where you resided?

"I wanted to say that I…I'm so—" He groaned in frustration, slapping his hand against his face as he gritted his teeth in irritation. Why was it so blasted difficult to express himself? "I-I'm sorry, darlin'. Truly, I am."

The silence from your end only intensified Boothill's nerves, sending a wave of panic coursing through him. Was this it? Were you going to leave him, leaving him to wander aimlessly without a home once more? "Please, sweetheart. I'm pourin' my heart out here," he pleaded softly, his voice trembling with genuine sincerity.

He listened intently, straining to hear any sign of your response. From the muffled sounds of sheets rustling, he could only guess that you might be on the verge of tears again, and it tore at his nonexistent heart. "I'm sorry for…for yellin' and such. I was actin' selfish and ignorant, and I know that was wrong of me," he confessed, his cheeks burning with embarrassment and guilt as he cast his gaze downward.

Desperation clawed at him, the longing for your touch, the warmth of your presence beside him each morning, the comfort of your embrace— it all flooded his senses. He yearned for a home to return to, a sanctuary where he could find solace in your love once more.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear," Boothill vowed earnestly, feeling a spark of hope ignite within him.

He heard a quiet sigh escape your lips, and he squirmed with anticipation, eagerly awaiting your response.

"You've got 10 minutes to get your ass back into our home, right this instant," you blurted out, attempting to inject a joking tone into your words, but Boothill could detect the slight tremor in your voice.

His heart soared with relief and joy at your words. "Alright— okay, I'll be there. Just let me ask Dan Heng when we'll be arriving, alright?" he replied eagerly, his demeanor brightening considerably. This was his chance to make things right, to rebuild what he had almost shattered. He wasn't about to let it slip through his fingers.

As Boothill's metal boots echoed through the halls of the Express, his heart lightened at the sound of your voice. "I miss you," you confessed, the sniffle in your tone tugging at his wired heartstrings.

A chuckle escaped him, his hand reaching for the doorknob that led to Dan Heng's room. "I missed you too, sweetcheeks. I'll make it up to you, I swear on my bounty," he promised, determination lacing his words.

He could sense the relief in your giggle as you bid him goodbye and hung up, prompting him to knock on Dan Heng's door. "Yo, bro! When we makin' a stop at my planet?"

"We're not," Dan Heng's muffled voice responded, causing Boothill to freeze in his tracks. "We're stopping at Penacony to go to The Reverie to pick up my colleagues."

"…We're what."

[verstappensrealwife]

My Race Winner - Lando Norris x Reader

[lando norris masterlist  / f1 masterlist]

ʚɞ in which... reader rewards lando for his first GP win. ʚɞ fluff, smut  ⋆⭒˚.⋆ 1200 words ʚɞ warnings: sex

-୨♡୧-

Your knuckles turned bone-white as you clutched your fists tightly, the intensity of your grip a physical manifestation of the emotions churning within. From the moment Lando, your cherished boyfriend, surged into the lead, you became ensnared in a whirlwind of hope and apprehension, clinging to the edge of your seat with bated breath.

With each passing moment, the gap between Lando and his competitor, Max Verstappen, widened, a visceral testament to his dominance on the track. What began as a slender one-second advantage burgeoned into a nerve-jangling two, then three... until the chasm yawned wide, stretching to an agonizing eight seconds between Max and the man you held dear.

Every heartbeat echoed like a drumroll in your chest, each pulse a relentless reminder of the stakes riding on this race. You poured every ounce of your being into willing Lando onward, a silent prayer uttered with every fervent beat of your heart, beseeching the racing gods for his triumph.

Anticipation coiled like a serpent in your belly, mingling with the icy tendrils of fear that threatened to ensnare your thoughts. As the final lap unfurled before your eyes, you were ensconced in a maelstrom of emotions, caught in the tumultuous currents of exhilaration and trepidation.

Every turn of the track became a crucible of tension, each corner a crucible where hopes soared and fears faltered. The harsh mixture of roaring engines and screeching tires filled the air, a symphony of speed and adrenaline that reverberated through your very soul.

With every twist and bend of the circuit, you felt yourself teetering on the precipice of ecstasy and despair, the line between victory and defeat blurring in the haze of adrenaline-fueled passion. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, time stretching and warping as you clung to the edge of your seat, consumed by the drama unfolding before you.

But then, in a blaze of glory, Lando surged across the finish line, his victory a triumphant crescendo that shattered the tension like a thunderclap. HE JUST WON!

A primal roar of jubilation erupted from your lips, an explosion of unbridled joy that reverberated through the air. In that moment, nothing else mattered except the fact that the love of your life had emerged victorious, his triumph a beacon of light in the darkness.

As Lando leaped from his car, his victory celebrated by the crowd and his team, his gaze sought yours amidst the chaos. Tears of pride and elation welled in your eyes as you watched him, your heart swelling with love and admiration. Without hesitation, you rushed into his arms, the force of your embrace nearly toppling him over as you enveloped him in a fervent hug.

"You won!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with emotion as you held him close.

"I did!" he replied, his own excitement mirroring yours as he returned your embrace with equal intensity.

A squeal of delight escaped you before you leaned in close, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, "I'll let you have your way with me later, race winner." The promise hung in the air, charged with the electricity of anticipation, before you whisked him away for further celebrations before the podium.

The adrenaline rush of victory still surged through Lando's veins as he practically bounded down the stairs after the podium ceremony, his eagerness palpable as he urged you towards the awaiting taxi with an infectious enthusiasm. The thrill of triumph painted his features with a radiant glow, his eyes alight with anticipation for the intimacy that awaited you both at home.

Efficiently dismissing and thanking everyone who congratulated him, Lando took your hand in his, leading you out of the bustling venue and into the waiting taxi. Each step seemed charged with anticipation, the air electric with the promise of the passionate reunion that awaited you both.

As the taxi pulled away from the venue, the city lights blurred into a kaleidoscope of colours, the world outside transformed into a mesmerizing tapestry of motion. Inside the cab, the atmosphere crackled with anticipation, every moment stretching out into infinity as you both eagerly anticipated the intimate moments you would share behind closed doors.

The journey felt like an eternity, each passing second marked by the pounding of your heart and the soft hum of the taxi's engine. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as you stole glances at each other, the tension between you palpable as the anticipation mounted with each passing mile.

Finally, you arrived home, the key card in hand trembling with anticipation as you fumbled to unlock the door. With a click, the door swung open, revealing the familiar haven of your shared sanctuary bathed in warm, welcoming light.

Stepping inside, the world outside fell away, replaced by the sanctuary of your private retreat. The air was heavy with anticipation as you found yourselves locked in a passionate embrace, the heat of your desire igniting like a flame between you.

Clothes were shed with reckless abandon, discarded in a trail leading to the bedroom where you both collapsed onto the bed, consumed by the urgency of your longing. In that intimate space, time seemed to stand still as you lost yourselves in each other, the outside world fading into insignificance as you surrendered to the intoxicating pull of desire.

His touch was like a bolt of lightning, each caress sending delicious shivers cascading down your spine, igniting a symphony of sensation that reverberated through every fibre of your being. With tender reverence, he explored every inch of your body, his hands tracing a map of desire as he worshipped you with an intensity that stole your breath away.

Each kiss was a flame, fuelling the inferno of passion that blazed between you, igniting a wildfire of longing that threatened to consume you both. In the heat of the moment, time seemed to lose all meaning, the world fading into insignificance as you surrendered to the intoxicating pull of desire.

With deliberate slowness, he entered you, savouring the exquisite sensation of your bodies melding together in a seamless union of flesh and spirit. Each thrust was a declaration of love, a testament to the deep connection that bound you together, the rhythm building to a crescendo of ecstasy that left you both trembling with longing and breathless with desire.

You were a babbling mess, not knowing how to speak, what to say if you could, it was a lot and it was overwhelmingly sensual and passionate.

Orgasm after orgasm washed over you, waves of pleasure crashing over you like a tidal wave, threatening to sweep you away in a sea of bliss. In that transcendent moment, there was no past, no future, only the blissful present of being together, lost in the rapture of shared passion.

As he collapsed against you, spent and breathless, you cradled him close, cherishing the weight of his body against yours. With a tender smile, you brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead, gazing into his eyes filled with love and satisfaction.

"My race winner," you whispered softly, your voice a tender caress as you held him close. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of his embrace, you knew that you were home, your hearts beating as one in perfect harmony, a silent affirmation of the love and joy you shared in that tender moment of afterglow.

[thelostprincessposts]

Paperweight [Verso Dessendre]

Pairing: Painted Verso x Reader

Summary: AU painted world where soul mates exist. Reader starts to have dreams about Verso and is intent on finding him.

Rating: G

Warnings: Canon typical deaths?

Author's note: this is probably garbage, but there's so little Verso fics that I'm making myself post it anyway. I haven't written in a while so *shrugs*

Every word you say I think

I should write down

Don't want to forget come daylight

The dream was happening again: the sound of a soft ballad playing on a piano. It was peaceful and made you want to stay, but you knew the dream never lasted longer than a few minutes. Each time you had it another image would appear, meaning you were one day closer to meeting your soulmate.

The dreams started a few months ago, but you had kept them to yourself. That is, until you had one too many drinks with Gustave after work one evening. You'd let it slip that you thought you'd started having mate visions. Not everyone was lucky enough to meet their mate in their lifetime, and you weren't even really sure that the dreams were consistent at that point or if they were just manifestations of late nights or sleep deprivation, but Gustave was intent on hearing out your experience.

Your boss second and your friend first - Gustave was easy to confide in. You'd felt bad, knowing that he desperately longed to have the dreams himself, but he and Sophie took it upon themselves to create their own relationship despite perhaps not being each other's soul mate. It was common enough in Lumiere; the population dwindled each year and no one was really sure how the mates were fated. Plenty of young people had relationships anyway.

"So all you've seen so far is a piano? I mean, that's kind of fitting. Perhaps you will be able to sing his songs," Gustave quipped after taking a sip from the bottle of bourbon.

The emergency bourbon was kept around for these late night work sessions. Everyone was burning the candle at both ends either finishing preparing for the expedition in a few months, or spending as much time with their loved ones before the gommage.

The warehouse was dimly lit as you and Gustave made repairs to an electrical converter for a nearby restaurant: a work order your team willingly took on the side.

"I haven't even seen the piano. At this point I'm only hearing his music, which is beautiful," you replied as you reached for the bottle yourself.

"Everyone's dreams are different. I'm happy for you, though. Soon enough you'll be able to meet him. I just hope it happens before I leave with the expedition so I have a chance to kick his ass once or twice," Gustave laughed. You smirked, but the light feeling didn't last once he brought up the expedition.

It had been an unspoken rule that no one would bring up leaving. You were still a year younger than Gustave, Lune, and Sciel. You were planning on staying in Lumiere to keep working and performing when you could in your free time.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Gustave said quietly, looking up at you from the work table. You looked away, out the window angled at the night sky. Suddenly it felt like time was moving too fast. The sound of Gustave's tinkering, while calming, made you anxious.

"I think you should go find Sophie, and I think maybe I should head home. I'll finish this first thing in the morning," you offered, leaning off the table and grabbing the bottle of bourbon to stash away. His eyes also followed your gaze to the night sky and sighed, getting up from the work table.

How strange to feel like life was ending and beginning at the same time.

"Thanks, Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."

That night you went home and hummed the piano song from your dreams, trying desperately to hold onto it until the next time the dream came.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first images came to you weeks later. Dark hair and the sight of a piano on a cliffside. The cliffside was covered in the softest looking grass and flowers carpeted in shades of white, lavender, and dreamy yellows. It made no sense. You expected to see the piano in a home or perhaps at one of the local performance cafés, but not outside.

Part of you looked for him on every street in Lumiere. When you were helping Maelle with deliveries; when you were on stage on Saturday nights singing with the band; when you walked with Sciel to the market; but you didn't have much to go on.

The expedition was only a month away. How strange to have this secret hope in a time that felt so hopeless.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You awoke startled in a haze. The dream was longer this time: places you'd never seen and snippets of sounds you'd never heard entwined with melodies on a piano. One of the melodies sounded a lot like the song you'd finished with tonight at the café.

You supposed it wasn't "tonight" anymore, but closer to 4 in the morning. None of what you experienced in this dream was alarming...until the end. The last flash of a clue happened to be clothing. And not just any clothing: an expedition uniform.

Could your soulmate really be going on the expedition, and you had not met him yet? You supposed it was possible that you didn't know everyone in the city, but you knew quite a few people around your age.

Your heart hammered looking at the clock again, trying to make sense of the dream. The gommage and expedition day was only a week away.

The second the sun rose you were out the door, your feet taking you to the Expedition headquarters at the heart of the city.

"Y/N, you're here early. Did Gustave send you?" Alan asked as he checked a crate of rations that were being dropped off.

"No, sir. I'd like to enlist for the Expedition," you replied, trying to sound even-keeled after having been awake in a panic for the last few hours. Alan hesitated as he stepped toward you, but gave a short nod when he caught the glint in your eye.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The dreams came every night leading up to your leaving. Gustave was irked by your decision to join, but vowed to protect you as well as he could.

You'd been training with Maelle for the last year or so, but if you were being honest, you weren't paying much attention. You were only looking out for her at Gustave's request when he was too busy with other projects.

You realized that you were seeing potential memories from your soul mate: a fireplace burning warmly next to a woman painting at an easel. You only ever saw her from behind, but the most beautiful records could be heard. A flash of a stuffed friend on a bed. Laughter and the sounds of another male saying that he was "owed another fight after that sorry excuse for a duel."

This time the dream ended with a final clue: the brightest blue eyes, with scarred skin around one side. The sight of them burned into your memory as you shot awake.

It was gommage day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You should have been dead: that much you knew. The blast of the initial attack left you incapacitated for hours. By the time you woke the area was only left with smoke and debris. Bodies surrounded you as you scanned the area for survivors.

It had all been a waste anyway. No one ever showed up for the expedition that matched the man in your dreams. You had known everyone on the team. You'd come to the conclusion that you were delusional and it was now your duty to protect Lumiere. Perhaps your mind had concocted this false hope to cover up some sick martyrdom fantasy buried in your heart.

It was still light enough outside that you could attempt to swim to a nearby outpost. Staying still didn't make any sense when you didn't know what attacked your team.

Then again, you didn't know what was in the water either. Your only bet was to move, and move fast. You slipped into the water nearby and took off despite your headache and fatigue.

It took an hour or so to reach an outcropping of rocks away from the beach, but close enough that you could make out the shoreline. Without any supplies, you drifted off quickly from exhaustion.

Your mind could not grant you peace even after that hell of a day. Your dream took you to the manor with the warm fire, but this time you could see the man peering over a bed. You were watching him from behind, just outside the door.

It was quiet until you shifted your weight and your boot made the sound of a wet sole squeaking on the marble floor. It made no sense because you weren't really there, right? You'd been sleeping against the rocks, sopping wet from your pathetic attempt to flee home.

The sound made the man's head pop up and turn slightly towards you. He was taller than you imagined with a strong stature. You couldn't see who he was watching over, but by the time his body turned to look at you, you were in awe.

His piercing eyes tore through yours, stealing all breath from your body. If this wasn't real, this was a cruel hope your mind had conceived to survive.

"Mon couer, what are you doing here? Why are you in an expeditioner's uniform?" He asked tightly.

You tried to will your body to move to his, but you were stuck. You couldn't move and you couldn't open your mouth. You could only stare at the horrific beauty of this dream that wasn't real and somehow felt like the most precious thing you'd ever experienced.

The dream was ending - you could feel the edges of your vision clouding before seeing one last look on your mate's face: determination.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You were floating, so you must have been dead. Your eyes fluttered open to the sight of clouds and birds passing above you. The early morning sun was bright and made your head want to split open, so perhaps you weren't dead, but surely you would be soon once this creature disposed of you.

"Ah, mon ami! You are awake. Do not worry, I am taking you for a swim swim to a safe place." The creature spoke to you in a lazy lilt that somehow felt safe and endearing.

"Thank you, but I need to get back to Lumiere," you said confused. Land passed to your left as your eyes tried to adjust to the colors and sights.

"Ah, but you see, I am taking you to friends. Verso will know what to do with you," the creature hummed.

"What is a Verso?" You asked.

"Verso is my best friend. He will be your best friend too. You'll see! You should rest." The creature returned to focusing on swimming and you were honestly too tired to think of your next move.

Your team was gone, you had no weapons, and even if you did you weren't sure you could take this creature down yourself.

You were captive, whether you liked it or not.

"How did you find me? And why are you helping me?" You asked as you floated down a body of water much like a river.

"Verso and I look out for the expeditions. I was looking for survivors from yesterday's landing. I'm sorry about your friends."

You still weren't sure who or what Verso was, but the reminder of your friends' suffering had snuffed all other questions from your mind. It occurred to you that you were farther into the continent than you had ever hoped to be. It was still your responsibility to finish the expedition.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The creature, Esquie you'd learned, was actually taking you to his friend Monoco, who lived safely on a mountain that very few dared to venture to. Esquie and Monoco argued for a bit about Monoco's involvement while you tore into the food offered once you reached the station. There was still no sign of this Verso, but you could only venture what sort of creature he'd be after meeting these two.

Esquie had left you in Monoco's care until Verso could collect you. This made you feel captive again, but Monoco advised against venturing on your own down the mountain. He told you of the nevrons and even started to offer tips on how to get to the Monolith in between challenging you to duels. You ceased to dream altogether, but to be fair, you were only sleeping in fits since the night you tried to swim home. A few minutes during the day...napping after dinner...and then staring at the fire all night.

Monoco tried to enthrall you with tales of his adventures, and it was during one of these such tales that you both heard the sounds of voices approaching. You were in the middle of laughing at one of Monoco's jokes when the crunching of snow beneath feet made your companion move toward the station entrance.

"Stay here," he warned. You were on high alert, having yet to encounter another being since Esquie.

You peaked around the train car in time to see several figures approaching - and what felt like a dream to you. You recognized your friends standing beside Monoco: Sciel, Lune, and Maelle all miraculously alive.

A sob tore from your throat as you sprinted down the station's center toward the group.

"Y/N! You're alive?" Sciel beamed. You crashed into her with the biggest hug you'd ever given anyone. You could feel Lune laughing beside you before joining in.

In the chaos of the moment, you'd failed to notice one more figure that was shadowed by Monoco initially. You broke from the hug and turned to meet the eyes of the man who'd been haunting your dreams the last few months.

His striking eyes locked onto yours for what felt like forever. You could hear the girls asking you questions, but your mind became blank upon seeing your soul mate standing in front of you.

"Am I asleep?" You asked, barely above a whisper. You were terrified to look away from him, fearing that your mind was playing tricks on your sleep deprived existence.

"No, mon couer. I'm here," the man replied. He also sounded in disbelief, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Y/N, this is Verso. He's the one you've been waiting for," Monoco introduced, though he seemed perplexed by Verso's words.

Verso's hands trembled as they lifted from his sides and flexed with a nervous tick as he reached towards you. Your feet moved before you could stop them - not that you wanted to.

Your arms reached up on reflex, your hands grasping the light scruff on his face. Neither of you broke eye contact once.

"I don't believe it," you whispered. "I was sure that my mind was making you up. When I signed for the expedition and you weren't there, none of it made sense."

His hands gently rubbed your sides as he leaned his forehead forward to rest against yours.

"I will never believe that you are mine," he whispered back. You would never get over the feeling of his hands on your body. It felt like a dream...that is until Monoco cleared his throat.

"So, what are you lot doing here?" Monoco asked.

The rest of the evening was spent catching up - learning the fate of your fellow team members and what lie ahead. You agreed to make camp one last night at the station for some much needed rest, and selfishly, so you could have some more time to speak with Verso.

You were the last two sitting by the fire when he asked, "should we get some sleep?"

"Will you still be in my dreams?"

"Only if you will enchant mine, Y/N. I don’t think I can sleep without hearing you sing."

Your dreams welcomed the sounds of Verso's piano before you saw him playing in a field, waiting for you to join him in this peaceful existence once more.

[urrmomzfavorite]

BLESSINGS YOU DON’T SEE COMING

psstt check my masterlist if you want more readings from me !

Pile One: Cards: Ace of Swords, Three of Swords, Four of Wands, The Hierophant, Four of Cups

Hi love, we need to talk. Your heart has been broken, and you’ve entered a “self-love” era. I feel like self-love was more about preservation. You didn’t fully master the breakup energy—you went back into your cocoon to regenerate. But now, it’s time to come out.

You’ve put your heart aside for a moment, and I need to tell you that a wish you made upon the stars is being refined. You can carefully pick up that glass box you placed your heart in and believe in love again. Your wish has been in the stars, getting sculpted and forged to make it something powerful.

You’re going to meet someone who’s really influential. People tend to like this person and put them on a pedestal, but you don’t, and they like it. A lot of people go to them for advice and help, but you won’t. This person lives in a lot of people’s hearts, but yours is double-locked, sealed, and impossible to access. You’ll catch them staring at you a lot. They’re trying to figure you out, and it drives them mad. You know how it goes—when you can’t understand something, you become obsessed trying to. This is giving me strong Scorpio vibes.

This person lights a fire in you, a passion you can’t explain. A funny story is unfolding, and you’ll look back on it with a lot of gratitude. I applaud you for healing; I know how hard it can get. Good luck, love!

(Lenormand Cards drawn: The Star, The Fox, The Coffin)

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Pile Two: Cards: Five of Wands, Three of Swords, Knight of Swords, Queen of Wands, Two of Pentacles

You had a hard time ending this situation. OMFG, you kept replaying it in your head. I think you’ve stopped talking about it to your friends because you knew it was getting too much. There’s no shame in talking about how you feel—it helps soothe the pain. That burning sensation in your chest? It’s going away.

You are going back to yourself, Pile Two, emerging as the Queen of Wands. Now, it’s time to learn how to balance your power. I don’t need to tell you that you have tremendous potential—it was always a given. You will find your footing soon. You are ascending to heights that have been waiting for your arrival. Find joy in the journey.

A lot of your desires are manifesting physically. Your words have a lot of power at the moment and hold heavy weight. The world is your oyster. Good karma is coming back to you, and opportunities are knocking at your door. Pile Two, life will feel like a warm blanket for a while—get comfortable.

(Lenormand Cards drawn: The Mountain, The Whip, The Stork, The Sun)

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Pile Three: Cards: Temperance, The Magician, Queen of Swords, Six of Swords, The Empress, The Moon, Seven of Cups, King of Swords

Yes, you are right. Yes, they are in love with you. Yes, they messed up, and they know it. Pile Three, this whole reading screams love. Someone you’ve known for a long time is realizing they want to lock it down. I feel like this is the kind of love you read about—the kind that feels pure, that makes you feel young at heart. It’s true, sincere love, one that makes you feel like you’re the only one who has the key to a magical world.

I feel like you’ve tried to make things work for a while, handling more than your share. And then it finally clicked: all that power and energy was misused and channeled into the wrong things. You stood up for yourself and set strong boundaries. You were fair because that’s just who you are, but you were dedicated to not letting yourself down. You left, you traveled, you lived, you grew, you blossomed beautifully.

And now, this love that has been calling out to you in the night, whispering your name in the wind, is here. You have so many options—just know that. That person who wasn’t ready for you? They want to be a husband now—devoted and looking for you. The choice is yours. You are a wise person and will find success no matter the outcome. But remember, the right people for you also fuel your cup.

(Lenormand Cards drawn: The Child, The Ring, The Heart, The Book)

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[tarohugs]

Emergency on Aisle U (had my heart from the start) teaser

"you'll just have to taste me when he's kissing you"

► Let’s just say, you have a long history with Lee Jeno. The two of you had a “special connection” during your situationship. Everyone around you felt it and so did you. After Jeno learned about your feelings, he decided it was time to end it because he wasn’t into commitment. You tried to salvage your relationship, but, unfortunately, Jeno had already found another girl. Luckily for you, Jeno can't just stick to one girl. 

► fuckboy!jeno x convenience store worker!reader

► fluff, angst, situationship au, college au, situationship to haters to ???

► w/c ongoing...

► a/n: this is my first fic ever so please give me a chance and give me any tips! this will DEFINITELY be a work in progress so be patient with me. let me know if you enjoy!! (did you get the play on words? Aisle U... I love you... yea)

Seeing Jeno with another girl was the last thing you expected to show up on your feed. While you and him were together he never made any effort to post you despite your constant nagging. Yeah, you guys weren’t exclusive, but in this day and age, who is?

But Jeno couldn’t actually like her. Right? 

You identified her to be Yujin from her tag in the post. Although you were desperate to envy her, you had to admit, she was beautiful - not as much as Jeno though. When you first met Jeno at a campus party, it was like he had just been sent from the heavens. He was the embodiment of a Greek god. It wasn’t just his looks but his being that struck you. At that moment, you knew you had to have him. 

After your life changing encounter, you decided to do some in depth research of the man - asking your gossip-fueled friends about him. They told you information that didn’t quite suit his face. One of those being he was the manifestation of a stereotypical campus heart breaker. 

Of course, he just had to be the main character. But who could blame him, with the face and body he possessed, he was bound to draw girls attention. Which is why seeing him with Yujin didn’t shock you. Rather, what did surprise you was the fact he was wearing the chain necklace you had once gifted him. Did I forget it was marked with your initial too?

While you two were together, you were aware he was talking to other girls. Though, you didn't mind because you friends had warned you of his behavior after all. Refusing to let his side hoes stop you, you continued on with the relationship regardless.

You became accustomed to your restless night with him - sharing endless stories of pillow talk you couldn't even remember. The bond between you two had blossomed, and you believed you had finally become something to him.

He had once told you during one of your nights together that he “had never felt this way before.” Bullshit. He had to of told this to every body on his list. 

Being the naive girl you were, you felt that this symbolized a new step in your relationship. As a gift, you had given him the pictured gold necklace with your initial. His smile was one you couldn’t reciprocate. For the first time, you had saw Lee Jeno happy. Yeah you had seen him happy before, but this was different.

Silly you though, of course it was just him playing one of his games. After the night you had confessed to him and saw the shocked expression on his face, you knew you had fucked up. Thinking back to the day you had gifted him your symbol of love, you realize he must have been so untroubled because you had fallen into his trap.

But why was he wearing the necklace in the photo? Clearly he had moved on. If he loved you, he would’ve stayed. But he didn’t - you have to remind yourself that before you fall again. 

Besides, your friends had seen what happened to you after the “break-up.” He destroyed you. Meanwhile, he continued his routine of partying and drinking until he could find the next girl on his agenda. 

A sliver of hope in you, though, thought that maybe, just maybe, it was something. But you had to look past it - for you and your friends. You promised you would move on and you couldn’t disappoint them. 

Jeno and you had been separated for no longer than two weeks. You should be over him by now but something in you possessed yourself to fall in love with him. 

Okay, not in love but on the verge of it. You knew you shouldn’t fall for a boy you just met, but he treated you so right during your time together. Why did he end it?

Truth be told, there was likely no answer to that question; however, you were determined to find it. 

► a/n: thank you so much for making it to the end! plz let me know what your thoughts are and if you are interested in the whole fic :D

[hymn-to-mercury]

✨🪐Astrology observations🪐✨

These observations are all based off my own personal experience and are mostly generic - don't take it to heart if you disagree <3

🪐 No one seems to fully understand how Aquarius Moons work, including Aquarius Moons themselves.

🪐 I love how heavy Mars influence shows up in people's physical appearance! I’ve always noticed that people with a lot of mars dominance in their chart have a big forehead and/or a widows peak, as well as rosy cheeks or a naturally reddish/pinkish undertone to their skin.

🪐 Undeveloped Virgo and Sagittarius placements absolutely do not give a fuck about your feelings. They can be extremely self centred I've noticed to almost a dangerous detriment.

🪐 A lot of people give Scorpio women the Mean Girl rep, but honestly I think that title should be lent to Virgo women too 😭 They tend to have this hangup about perfection, and I think when undeveloped it shows more as an aversion to anything 'weird' or against the status quo.

🪐 Cardinal Mars signs (that's Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) reallyyyyy can't hide their dislike for things 😅 people, food, celebrities, whatever. If they don't announce it verbally then you can at least tell by their face lmao.

(I once had to put on my ~emergency socks~ when I was wearing heels on a night out, and every time someone came up to me to tell me how nice my outfit looked I would say thanks and then just not stop yapping about how the socks were not originally apart of the outfit 😭 I couldn't let people think I approved of socks and sandals alksjdgfsjdh)

🪐 Scorpio placements can dish it but can't take it. Cancer placements will sneakily dish it under the guise of a joke and then start crying if you try to dish it back.

🪐 People with Leo Moon tend to 'perform' their activism a lot. That's not to say that they don't practice what they preach, but I think when they do speak up their image has something to do with it

🪐 If you were born under a Mercury Retrograde it might feel like you were destined to be misunderstood no matter how well articulated you are 🙃 I don't think it's a problem with yourself as much as it is with the people you encounter through your life though. Your biggest 'ops' might be people who are very particular and specific about word choice - think Gemini and Virgo Placements (if you are a Gemini/Virgo yourself, this may manifest for you as harbouring some self-hatred or significant self-consciousness).

🪐 Pisces want very badly to be carefree, but a lot of the time they severely struggle getting over their need for outside validation. Being carefree is also a trait they might find attractive in other people.

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: A Love letter for an Introvert.[Pick a mythical aesthetic]

Pile 1-Fairy core, Pile 2-Water Nymph core, Pile 3- Witch core. Left->Right

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Introduction

These are love letters to each one of you that picks a pile and if you happen to be an introverted soul walking on this earthly realm of existence give this reading a glance. I hope this works as a perfect- pick me up- for anytime of your day, whether you are stuck with massive amounts of boredom, back home from a tough work day or school day or even if you happen to be trying to find that quiet corner that you feel the most comfortable in, in this loud bustling world. Hope this gives you a sense of reassurance and peace.

The Music to help you today is in the link below:

Aurora- Your Blood

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Pile 1

Dearest Gentle Soul,

I write to you today with a heart full of admiration, for I have watched you navigate the winding paths of life with such grace and quiet determination. You have some qualities that you may not always see in yourself, but that shine brightly to those who take the time to look closely.

You have accomplished so much, my fren. The battles you’ve fought, though often silent and unseen by others, have shaped you into the remarkable person you are today. The world may not always recognize the quiet victories, but I see them in every step you take. Each obstacle you’ve overcome has been a testament to your resilience, a reminder of the power that lies within you.

Be proud, for you have come so far. You have faced challenges that others may never understand, and you’ve emerged stronger, wiser, and more compassionate and determined. Your journey is one of quiet triumphs, and though the road ahead may still hold its share of trials, remember that you are more than capable of continuing to rise above them.

With every achievement, no matter how small, you are crafting a life that is uniquely yours—a life built on the foundations of strength, courage, and self-belief. So take a moment, to bask in the glory of all you have done. Let pride fill your heart, for you have earned it a thousand times over.

With all my love,

Your Fairy Companion [wink wink]

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Pile 2

Beloved Introverted Heart,

Today, I find myself compelled to remind you of the extraordinary beauty that lies within you. Your soul tells a tale of someone with a soul as deep and vast as the ocean, filled with nuances and subtleties that are rare and precious.

Your uniqueness is a gift, a treasure that sets you apart in a world that often celebrates the loudest voices. It is your quiet nature, your introspection, that allows you to see the world in ways that others might miss. You notice the details, the small moments of magic that others overlook. You bring thoughtfulness, understanding, and a calm presence that is a balm to those around you.

There is a power in your stillness, a wisdom in your reflection. You are not meant to conform to the expectations of others, for you are a rare gem, one that sparkles brightest in its own light. Appreciate these qualities, for they are what make you so incredibly special.

Do not seek to change or mold yourself into something you are not. Instead, embrace the beauty of your introverted nature. It is in your quiet strength that you find your true power, in your gentle spirit that you touch the lives of others in profound ways. It is okay to retreat from this loud world from time to time. The world needs your unique light, and it shines most brilliantly when you allow yourself to simply be.

With appreciation,

Your Friend from Seas Apart

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Pile 3

Dearest Kindred Spirit,

I see the path you walk, and I am here to tell you that you are doing incredibly well. The cards reveal a journey that is not always easy, but one that you continue to face with unwavering dedication. You work hard, often without the recognition you deserve, yet you keep moving forward with quiet determination.

I want you to know that your efforts are not in vain. Every step you take, every task you complete, brings you closer to the life you are striving to create. It is in these small, consistent efforts that great achievements are born. You may not always see the progress, but it is there, building with each passing day.

Take heart, darling, for you are on the right path. Your hard work is a testament to your strength of character, your commitment to your goals. Even on the days when it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, know that you have the power to carry it. You are stronger than you realize, more capable than you give yourself credit for.

Do not lose faith in yourself, for the journey ahead is bright with possibility. Keep pushing forward, even when the road seems long. Your dreams are within reach, and your hard work is the key that will unlock them. Remember, you are not alone on this path—your angels walk with you, cheering you on every step of the way.

With unwavering encouragement,

Your Witchy Companion.

[spirtualitywithlumi]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 + 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 (𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬) Pt.4

This isn’t your average love reading. This is about the one, the soul who already exists in your energetic field, even if they haven’t stepped into your life yet.(Spoiler: yes, but not in the way you think).

🌸 before you dive into part 4... make sure you’ve read part 1,2 and 3 so everything clicks perfectly and you don’t miss any of the details ✨

📎 read part 1 here: How Does Your Pile Contact Their Soulmate?

📎 read part 2 here: How is Your Soulmate Doing in the Physical World Right Now?

📎 read part 3 here: Is it possible to communicate with my soulmate right now ?

trust me, it sets the mood just right for what’s coming next 💌 pink skies, soft energy, and deeper truths ahead 💕

Close your eyes, take a deep breathe and pick your piles.

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 1

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 2

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 3

🌟𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 1 : Mirror

Part 4: What can I do to bring my soulmate in my life ?

A mirror reflects, but it also reveals. The mirror in your pile is no longer a symbol of appearance and it’s the reminder that your soulmate is activated by your own self-alignment. These three cards tell a story of emotional preparation, belief alignment, and emerging vulnerability. You bring your soulmate in not by chasing but by becoming the very soul they’re fated to recognize.

The Hierophant: Your soulmate is tied to your values not just your personality. This card calls you to examine and reclaim what you truly believe in about love, commitment, and worthiness. The Hierophant tells you to create sacred structure around your manifestations. Speak your truth aloud. Write affirmations. Align your dating choices with your soul values and not your fears. Your soulmate is likely someone who is spiritually attuned, or someone you'll meet once you're aligned with your core belief system. This card asks are you truly ready to receive what you’ve been asking for?

Nine of Cups: The Nine of Cups is the wish fulfillment card but here, it acts as a reminder that your desires are already orbiting you. The more satisfied and emotionally whole you feel within yourself, the clearer and faster your soulmate appears in your field. This doesn’t mean perfection and it means self-trust, sensual joy, and celebrating small wins. Your soulmate will be drawn to your glow, not your ache. Make your life so joyful and full that your soulmate can’t resist joining the party. Pleasure is a portal. So is laughter, art, music, food, movement, and comfort. Stop waiting. Start living like they’re already coming.

Page of Cups: The Page of Cups invites fresh emotional energy soft starts, creative flirts, inner child healing. This is your sign to begin letting yourself be seen again. Whether it’s through journaling, daydreaming, drawing, or sending out gentle feelers romantically the page is about making your heart available without needing to control how it's received.Talk to your soulmate in writing. Doodle them into existence. Dance when you feel alone. These “silly” things open soul channels. lol

🌟 𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 2: Pink Lipstick

Part 4: What can I do to bring my soulmate into my life?

Lipstick is the last thing we put on before we speak,but your lipstick isn't out in the open. It’s tucked in a drawer, maybe slightly smudged, maybe unused. (that could be a sign too) There’s vulnerability here. This pile speaks to the soul that wants to love again but doesn’t know how to trust the mirror or the message. All three of your cards are reversed. That doesn’t mean “bad.” It means the magic is buried underneath pain waiting to be uncovered gently. These cards tell a story of emotional disconnection, the healing of wounded love scripts, and the tender first step toward vulnerability.

Five of Swords (Reversed): This is the card of surrender.The kind that says: “I don’t need to win. I just want to feel peace again.” In reverse, it speaks to a part of you that's tired of fighting with love, with your past, with your own self-blame. To bring your soulmate in, you must forgive the version of you who tried to survive when love was war. Drop the sword. Unclench your jaw. Let go of the need to be “right” about love always being painful. This card asks you to stop proving and start receiving. Your soulmate is not your opponent. They are your echo. And right now, they’re waiting for you to release the old scripts not because they’re wrong, but because they’re over. You’re allowed to write a new story now.

Two of Cups (Reversed): This card hurts in reverse because it shows how ready your soul is to connect, and how scared your heart still feels. There may be residue from unreciprocated love, friendships that weren’t mutual, or soul ties that left you asking, “Why didn’t they choose me?” But the answer isn’t that you were unworthy. It’s that you were under-recognized, even by yourself. To bring your soulmate in, you must choose you first not as a trend, but as a truth. You can’t magnetize a healthy, spiritually equal connection if you’re still believing you’re only lovable when you earn it. Let this reversal teach you that the real thing won't need to be chased.

Ace of Cups (Reversed): This card is a cry your heart out kind of message. In reverse, it means your emotional cup has been running on fumes, or maybe you’ve been pouring into everyone but yourself. Your soulmate can’t find you if your heart is buried under old grief, shame, or suppressed desire. This isn’t about being healed. This is about being honest. Start with small rituals of renewal.You are not too late. You are just right on time. (just in case someone needs to hear it, btw cool all reversed)

🌟 𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 3: Telephone

Part 4: What can I do to bring my soulmate into my life?

A telephone is a tool of connection, yes, but more than that it’s a line between two hearts separated by silence. It carries voices, sighs, laughter, confessions.This pile is for those who feel the hum of a connection, but aren’t sure how to pick up the call. Maybe you’ve heard the ringtone in your dreams. Maybe you’ve spoken into the void, unsure if anyone heard, but they did hear it and even answered,but first, you need to unmute your own heart.

Judgement: This is your awakening moment. It’s the card that asks: Are you willing to hear the call you’ve been waiting for? It doesn’t mean you’re being tested. It means you’re being remembered. Judgement is about answering to your higher self and realizing your soulmate is more than just a person. They are a reflection of everything you’ve been becoming. To bring them in, you need to accept the version of you that you’ve outgrown and let her go. You can’t meet your soulmate if you’re still living through the wounds of the person who thought love was dangerous. You have to wake up from that dream now. The call is for this version of you. The one who’s ready.Let go of old love stories that felt like voicemails you were never meant to hear.

Knight of Pentacles (Reversed): In reverse, this card says: you’ve been waiting so long, you’ve convinced yourself it might never happen. It’s not that you’re blocked and it’s that your belief in slow, steady progress has turned into stillness. Maybe your routine became a shield. Maybe you convinced yourself love only comes after you “fix everything.” but your soulmate isn’t waiting for your perfection. They’re waiting for your presence. This card is your sign to unfreeze the part of you that stopped trying.Do the thing you’ve been putting off including the new hobby, the random solo trip, the uncomfortable conversation with your reflection.

The Lovers: The Lovers card says your soulmate is ready to meet you. But are you ready to choose love when it shows up even if it feels scary, unfamiliar, or bigger than what you’ve known? To bring them in, you must choose to love like it’s safe to do so. Even now. Even before they arrive. This means building a relationship with your own desire. Accepting that you are worthy of deep, soul-level connection. Choosing not to ghost your own heart. When you trust that your soulmate is real not fantasy, not someday the universe sends the signal back. The line clears. The call connects and suddenly, you’re no longer alone. You say, “I’m here. I’m ready. Talk to me.”Your soulmate isn’t a missed connection. They’re already trying to dial in. All you have to do is believe that you deserve to pick up.

also, just in case that person needs to hear it.....a specific message for someone (might or might not resonate with everyone)- "he was not worth it."

✦ do you want a personal reading like this?

🌸 I offer:

Celebrity Tarot Reads (K-Pop, BTS, Actors) SP Manifestation Guidance Future Love + Shadow Work Spreads Moon-Coded Letter from Your Twin Flame Channeled Audio Readings + PDF Summaries ✧ First reading? Ask for a free pull!

—

📩 DMs Open: @xuexing-lumi Tumblr inbox

🖤 closing words from Lumi:

We ride or die, even through the mess. 💅 — Lumi, the Moon’s Bride 🌕💋

—

(ignore):

[wisesoultarot]

What do you need to hear right now? - Tarot reading

Instagram | Tip Jar | Book a Reading with me now!!

🌈IMAGE 1:

Your deep fixation on a specific result is causing you unnecessary hardship. It's important to recognize that you cannot resist the powerful forces working against you; they are beyond your control, and your attempts to fight them will only drain your energy. You’ve reached your limits, both physically and mentally. Instead of struggling alone, consider surrendering to the guidance of the Divine to help you navigate these challenges.

Embrace the opportunity to ease into your natural rhythm and remain receptive to unexpected positive outcomes. Surrender this situation to the vast intelligence of the universe, trusting that a simpler path will emerge when the time is right. In the meantime, rather than pushing against the current, allow yourself to relax and enjoy the journey, navigating the ups and downs of life with a sense of playfulness and ease.

Letting go creates room for unexpected wonders and outcomes that may surpass your initial expectations. When you embrace surrender and allow life to unfold, you invite the possibility of magic into your experience.

🦋IMAGE 2:

Sometimes, when things seem stagnant, it's best not to push too hard. Each moment has its own timing and purpose. Trust that whatever you're waiting for—be it a business venture, a relationship, a journey, a contract, or an opportunity—will unfold in its own time.

You are reminded of your deep connection to Mother Earth through the natural rhythms of life—like the tides that rise and fall, the moon that waxes and wanes, and for women, the cycles of ovulation and menstruation. Take a moment to reflect on where you may have drifted away from these cycles and consider embracing the moon's energy to restore balance and harmony in your life.

It's important to recognize that life doesn't always require us to charge forward relentlessly. Take the time to rest and listen to your body’s need for gentleness. When you feel ready, like the moon growing fuller, you can re-engage with the world, becoming more active and social once again.

Embracing the natural cycles in your life can reveal incredible magic. Consider getting a moon calendar or jotting down the various phases each month. By aligning yourself with these rhythms, you can truly experience the wonders that life has to offer.

🌕IMAGE 3:

You are a divine being, a beautiful expression of the feminine spirit manifested in human form. Your presence is a blessing to the world, radiating beauty in its purest form. There is no need for perfect hair, flawless teeth, or an ideal figure to embody this essence. The Goddess resides in the boundless love within your heart, the profound wisdom that emanates from your soul, the sparkle in your eyes, and the warmth of your smile. She is present in your nurturing touch and the joy your body feels in both giving and receiving affection.

You are encouraged to embrace your inherent beauty and recognize your worth just as you are. Let go of societal expectations and appreciate your unique body in its current form. Define your own standards of beauty, rooted in the love, wisdom, compassion, and light that reside within you.

It's also important for men to avoid the pressure of trying to achieve a perfect, sculpted appearance and instead prioritize the health of their hearts.

Embrace every aspect of yourself that you may have neglected in the past, and cherish your body as the sacred space it truly is. Carry yourself with confidence, keeping your heart open, and allow the world to witness the powerful being you are.