#especially root AU posts that are in response to an ask

[tennessoui]

hello! i hope you’re having a good day/night. i wanted to ask something if that’s okay—i love love love your writing, and i was wondering if you would ever think about linking your tag #prompt fill for easy access on your blog. i know you tagged a bunch of your aus a while ago, but i’d love to read everything!!

Hello!! Thanks so much for sending this and wanting to find the tag and read more of what I’ve written! If you go through “Kit’s AUs” in my blog header my “prompt fill” tag is one of the first tags listed!

I want to leave it there and highlight the AUs more than this one tag but I should probably consider how I’m organizing that Kit’s AUs page….mostly cause it hasn’t been updated in a while and when I started it I highlighted AUs/stories on ao3 at the top, most of which are now long complete. It probably makes sense at this point to have the top section be just prompt fill and maybe a few miscellaneous tags and then the rest the AUs themselves….

[winxanity-ii]

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓: 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃

❘ prev. chapter ❘༻✦༺❘ next chapter ❘

Sorry, not an update, but I'll try to keep this short...

I just wanted to take a second to speak directly and honestly with y'all after posting that last chapter (CHAPTER 42.5: WRATH WEARS MANY FACES). I've been seeing a few responses that, while valid in feeling, have also reminded me why I normally don't look at comments after publishing something heavy.

Let me be clear: I know this chapter was a lot. It was violent. It was cruel. It was painful. That was intentional.

This isn't fluff. This isn't comfort every chapter. This is a mythos-based story, rooted in ancient violence, power imbalance, and divine wrath.

I'm not here writing gore for fun or romanticizing harm—but I am writing a story where gods and mortals alike are capable of monstrous things, especially when they feel justified.

Chapter 42.5 was especially meant to remind you who Apollo, Hermes, and Telemachus really are—how close they sit to the divine cruelty of Olympus. I love them, yes. They're soft to MC, yes. But they are not soft to the world and those they deem unimportant/useless. That contrast is what makes their tenderness meaningful.

And I've hidden Hermes' darker side behind jokes long enough. Some of y'all forgot he's a god, and a trickster, and someone with centuries of blood under his belt. There's nothing squeaky clean about him.

If the chapter bothered you—I understand. It's not meant to sit easy. And for those of you who felt empathy for Melanion, or said this felt too much... I respect your reactions. Seriously. You're allowed to feel conflicted. That's what good storytelling should do.

But what isn't okay is the passive-aggressive commentary about my choices as a writer. I've been transparent from the beginning: this fic isn't some wholesome, "MC gets babied 24/7" kind of tale. It's a dark, myth-heavy journey with stakes and consequences. You don't get a kiss in Chapter 2 here. You had to wait because the world I'm building doesn't hand out softness that easily.

And I can't help but find it a bit hypocritical how some folks cheer for Andreia to die, but pity the man who murdered MC in cold blood. Y'all got mad at her for emotional cruelty, but want grace for someone who left them bleeding in an alley? We must not have grown up reading the same myths lol.

I'm not saying you can't critique or feel strongly. You're welcome to disagree. To feel things deeply. That's human. But don't twist the space/story I've created into something it was never meant to be. This isn't an Epic Musical fluff AU (hence the note of not needing to actually know about it). This is Olympus. This is blood-soaked marble. This is war, consequence, and love wrapped in power dynamics. I've made that plenty clear with me writing out the suitors carnage in chapter 6 instead of summarizing it.

And I say this with love but also honesty: if my content, tone, or direction rubs you the wrong way, it's okay to step away. Truly. I'll never beg anyone to read something outside their comfort zone.

Also—and this might be petty but I'm adding it here anyway—I'm even more annoyed because I had to spoil a big MC-related moment to my own sister. 😭

We promised to treat each other as authors, only editing each other's chapters once we’d both read them fully. That was the deal. But she noticed I was acting off and pushed me about it—kept asking what was wrong and finally told me to just rant before it ate me alive. So I did.

And man, I'm a damn blabbermouth because once I started venting, it all spilled out. Do you know how hard it was keeping a main plot twist from her? Only to have to reveal it because sister issues come first?? 😭💀

But yeah, back to being serious, this is my second serious fic, one where I'm trying to do something I can look back on and be like 'Xani, you ate that up fr.' And if that means I have to block people who threaten the joy or safety of my creative space?

Then so be it—rejection sensitivity or not.

That being said, I'm taking a real break from updating. I know I said I was taking a break after the last chapter, but the truth is, I was just trying to pace myself and stay ahead without losing momentum...but now I mean it—for real. I think I need an actual one to cool off and not spiral.

And yeah... maybe this rant feels a little intense or childish to some of y'all, but I needed to say it or I was just gonna end up doing something impulsive that I'd end up regretting later.

To those of you who do get it, who read carefully and trust the process—thank you. Deeply.

I'll see y'all soon 🖤

—Xani

Tag List: nerds4life246 ace-spades-1 uniquetravelerone alassal thesimppotato11 jackintheboxs-world kahlan170 akiqvq matchaabread danishland uselessmoonlight apad-ravya suckerforblondies jolixtreesunn dreamtheatre woncloudie byzantiumhollow kisskisskys b4ts1e sarcasticbitchsblog trashcannotbealive idkanyonealrr

[joltai-showa]

Important inquiry for science: If you had to line up the Akatsuki from biggest virgin to biggest player, how would it go? I’ve got my own theories, but I’d love to hear your take.

Okay this is actually hilarious thank you for the ask

I am not exactly sure if the virgin to player line is about their mentality about sex or their actual experience, but I am gonna rank them by the latter. Also no Orochimaru because I don't really consider him a part of the core Akatsuki gang and no Taka/Hebi glup shittos because even if Akatsuki is full of clowns it does not deserve to turn into complete circus that Sasuke's shitty harem is.

Anyway, we're gonna start from the virgins and get to the players later.

9. Sasori

Dude literally started willingly cutting up his body at the age of 15 and kind of permenantly stayed in the form of one (off Chiyo's words that Sasori did not change at all in the 20 years after he left the village). With how passionate he is about hating the weakness of human form and how puppets are the real shit, I don't think he was ever that interested in sex even before he started resizing himself to heart only. The best I can imagine is him being mildly curious about the mechanical implications of the process, but in a "I have a giant spy network and overall responsible for a lot of information moving in the world, so I need to know how to imitate sex with my puppets to extract intel from certain (horny) targets" kind of way. Overall, doesn't even have a dick to do the deed (which I know is not a good enough argument from what I had seen during my Sasodei days lol). Anyway as unlikely as it is a poisonous wooden dildo is a hilarious concept.

8. Obito

I stand by my characterization of him in BSSM AU. Bro's been wrapped up in all of these schemes since he was like 14, and he had been so laser focused on his plan that he 100% never had any action. He never even considered a possibility. The virgin to rule all virgins, especially when you consider his other competitor doesn't have a dick to farm that exp. Buddy's understanding of sex was left somewhere around the time his Uchiha Obito identity was, so I'm gonna be generous and say he at least knows in theory how babies are made. So closeted about his bisexuality that the closet has the size of Kamui. A porn magazine is enough to send him into depressive-aggressive spiral, and if someone (like his Akatsuki partner wink wink) was to touch him in a no-no area, Obito would do his best "I am Uchiha Madara and I am 100 years old" impression and die of a heart attack. If he is forced out of his volutary celibacy, becomes the nastiest freak of them all and is absolutely unbearable. I don't believe for a second that his Eternal Tsukuyomi dream would be about him working as a Hokage or whatever other dogshit Kishimoto gave him as a dream just for Naruto's talk-no-jutsu work. Obito for at least half a year in the Tsukuyomi would be having the nastiest orgies that his perverted mind could come up with. Fulfilling all of his bisexual fantasies.

But in reality he remains a very mad virgin who is totally not interested in any of that. He's the mastermind and the pupeeter, he doesn't have the time for such things (senpai please sit on Tobi's face)

7. Itachi

When there is one Uchiha, another soon follows. Joestar family ahh ahh curse of fate lol.

On a more serious note, Itachi pre-massacre at least had a confirmed girlfriend, so he's already above others because he at least kissed someone in his life (meanwhile Obito's best chances were with a photograph and he failed even at that). I don't think he actually had sex with anyone, though. He was way too young pre-massacre for that (plus there's the entire family and Root watching your every step, so yeah the chances are decreasing to zero), and post-massacre he probably didn't want anything due to the endless depressive episode he was having and his ever-worsening chronic illness. I do think he might have talked about sex with Kisame, considering how actually pretty civil they are to each other. But these conversation would have been more philosophical than anything.

6. Deidara

I know, might be a bit surprising lol.

But if we are talking about canon Deidara (and not Girldara), I have a bit of a different understanding of how he would interact with sex. First of all, I do not believe for a second that he ever was interested romantically in any girl or a woman. Like, he does not even comprehend such concept. The women can be motherly, sisterly and friendly figures to him, but seeing another guy thirst after them would make Deidara go "huh" like that fat cat in the meme video.

Now, life isn't that simple for our gayboy, because he's a child soldier to out child all soldiers. Little bro ran away from the village at like 11 and had no insurance waiting for him, he had just himself and his bombs. And overall, I'd say with Deidara's obsession over being recognized for his art and as an artist is just another extremety of desire to be recognized as a talanted shinobi and for his jutsu. Iwa clearly treated him as an utility, a tool for their goals, and that might have impacted his socializing skills a bit.

Basically, what I am saying that even if Deidei is the biggest homosexual in Iwa history and an entire fruit orchard, he would still not really comprehend why does he want to be railed by another guy. He's too entrapped into this shinobi/artist overachieving mindset, and thus he wouldn't actually recognize the calls of nature, so he'd just go on to make more bombs and be miserable and angry for a while.

(He does absolutely suck himself off with those hand-mounths. Considering the opening illustration to his death chapter, I'd say this is canon)

Also Deidara has a very specific type of guy he likes - dark hair, dark eyes, dark past, depressed, delusional. Which is pretty much just Uchiha men. He's very pissed about the fact, but he's unaware of the real reasons as to why he's losing his mc fucking marbles when they ignore him. Poor little gayboy, he just wanted some attention.

(also I am never stopping going crazy over the fact that Deidara's experiencing his unaware gayboy 9/11 all over again while fighting Sasuke and thinking about Itachi, and there's a third fucking Uchiha the entire time pissing him off too. like, a third Uchiha has hit your bullshit radar.)

5. Nagato

Obviously no action after increasing the percentage of heavy metal in himself, but before that - I mean, they were all unsupervised kids in a very unstable country, I'd say by teenage years all of them might have tried a thing or too. Not sure if the Rinnegan would have been considered attractive by Ame's population or not lol. Anyway, dunno if he would have actively gone for it while he still had the chance, he is probably another type to be married to his duty.

4. Konan

I think she's canonically implied to do the deed with Yahiko lol xd So she's certainly above the rest who are theoretically not virgins. Obviously, no action since Yahiko's death, instantly married her Angel duty and kept up at it until Obito helped to increase the percentage of heavy metal in her too.

Obito hated her for her pure alpha female aura, he couldn't take 17 years of being (unknowingly) mogged for his virginity.

3. Kisame

Might be surprising, but hear me out: fandom would have been sinking under the weight of Kisame thirst trap videos if he was even slightly more conventionally attractive. Alas, sharkman we have.

Considering the pretty girl we see in his pre-death flashbacks, I'd say some people in Blood Mist saw The Vision. Besides, he is one of the Swordsmen of the Mist, you bet your ass he's got the status in the village. I think he might have been pretty depressed from his counterintelligence officer work and then later outright betrayal of the village with the whole allying with Yagura's puppeteer thing, so with years he tried to reach out to his fans less and less. But I'd say this is "Jaime Lannister shitting and crying in the bathtub" situation - "booohooo everyone calls me a Kingslayer, everyone hates me, I suck sooo much" and meanwhile every single peasant in Westeros is doing "sexy #Kingslayer🥵💋🙏💕 slays and serves💅" compilations on the medieval equivalent of Tiktok. Only Kisame was sitting there in the corner, purple from how depressed he is, and thinking "they don't know the horrors of the system and how one day I will be ordered to kill them all" and his fan club dancing around him and saying "yes we all know you can kill us all, so how about you pull out your gargantuan hungry sword and fight us to the death😏😏😏😏😏"

Now, during his Akatsuki period I'd say practically no one outside the Land of Water saw The Vision, but honestly I think after leaving Blood Mist Kisame cheered up a bit. Still depressed as fuck, but Kirigakure under Obito is somehow more fucking miserable than Orochimaru's testing pits. The village reflected the menatlity of the guy leading it, I suppose. Anyway, by that point Kisame could have afforded to pay for a good evening with a girl from a brothel (and let's be honest Naruto world absolutely has those). He'd be actually surprising polite and gentle, and pretty generous too, so he's got a good reputation with that part of society.

2. Kakuzu

Have you seen how this man looked in his bloody 90s. Have you seen this aura farming freak of a great-grandpa. Kakuzu at his 91 is still pulling more bitches than every other man before him on this list. Does he sleep with them? I don't know, might be too preoccupied with his retirement fund. Considering he lived like three lifespans of a normal shinobi, I think he tried it all. Obviously for free, god forbid he ever has to pay for himself. Men and women pay to lay with him.

1. Hidan

A fucking whore. Constantly walks half-naked and moans like his dick is in heaven when he gets stabbed? A sadomasochistic whore. I don't even think he can die of STDs, so he's single-handedly fulfilling the sex quota in the organization.

Bonus round: White Zetsu. Canonically reproduce asexually. I don't know if that puts them in a bitchless virgin category or the biggest player to outplay all players. What I do know is that they did their damnest not to evolve in any capacity for like 50 years because if they even slightly started to look like Hashirama Madara would come for them with his "weapon" raised. Successfully managed to stay true to their asexual roots, the worst that happened to them over those 50 years was Guruguru who offsets the "any hole is the goal" mentality by yapping so much.

Black is the black mold. He whispers things to Madara's failing mind.

[dollzstrology]

- Do You Regret This? -

Pairing: Human!Lo’ak x fem!pregnant!reader

Request: [ @teyamsbitch ] “do you regret this?” “are you crazy? i would choose you and this family in every single lifetime.” w/ Lo'ak ➟ post. Readers worry she might ruin Lo'ak's life by getting pregnant and tear up a bit and when Lo'ak asks what's wrong she asks if he regrets this happening knowing how this will change their lives forever and lo'ak reassures her that this is what he wants.

Synopsis: You and Lo’ak are having your first child together and as the pregnancy gets further along you wonder if Lo’ak regrets having a baby with you.

Content: Aged!up Lo’ak, Modern au, miscommunication, angst + hurt w/ comfort, mentions of unplanned pregnancy, reader having doubts

Author’s Note: ty for requesting Sia! I hope you enjoy and that it meets your expectations🩷! I loved writing it because I’ve been wanting to write some more Lo’ak x preg!reader (and Lo’ak works in general)

Word Count: 724

Extra: Requests are open! Please read rules before requesting! || Likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

Links: Navigation || Avatar Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

“Hey, babe, I’m worried about you. I haven’t talked to you in a while and I miss you. Call me when you get this.” That was the third voicemail Lo’ak left you this week. You’ve been avoiding him at all costs, not wanting to see him after you let your lingering thoughts and fears get the best of you.

You worried that he would feel trapped by you, especially since the pregnancy wasn’t planned. When you found out you were pregnant, you were happy, but also scared about your future. When you told Lo’ak the news, he was happy and excited too, but after that, you didn’t know how he felt. He could be wishing he never had a baby with you for all you knew and that was what you feared the most.

As you sat at the reception desk at your job, greeting visitors coming in, you saw someone who you weren’t expecting or wanted to talk to.

“y/n, we need to talk.” He was tired of you avoiding him. You haven’t been answering his calls, texts, acting as if you weren’t home when he came over, he was sick of it all and he wanted to get to the root of the problem.

“Okay, I get off in a few minutes. You can meet me at my house.” Lo’ak didn’t verbally reply, he just nodded and walked out the revolving doors of the building. You already knew exactly what he wanted to discuss and you weren’t ready for the conversation, but you were definitely preparing yourself.

—

When you made it home, you saw Lo’ak already standing by your front door, waiting for you to come unlock it. Once both of you walked inside and you put your bags down, you sat on the couch and Lo’ak sat beside you.

“Baby, why have you been avoiding me? I’ve been missin’ you like crazy and you haven’t been talkin’ to me at all.” You could see it in his eyes that he’s truly been missing you, that he’s longed for you ever since you excommunicated him from your life.

“Do you regret this?” You asked almost above a whisper, scared to hear his response to your question. You were already nervous about this conversation, so you thought it was best to just be straightforward with him.

“Do I regret this?” Lo’ak repeated the question, confused to what you were implying.

“Do you regret this?” You gestured to your slightly swollen stomach. “Having a baby with me. D-Do you feel like I ruined your life?” Your voice faltered as you talked, your eyes filling with tears until it pooled over and streamed down your cheeks.

“What? No, of course I don’t.” He answered swiftly, not even giving his answer a second thought. He loved the fact that his child was growing inside you, he was ecstatic to know that you and him would raise a child together.

“Me getting pregnant changed our lives completely, and I feel like I changed yours for the worst.” The spreading pain Lo’ak felt in his chest was almost unbearable. To hear you say those words hurt him because he knew that this feeling has been hanging over your head.

Lo’ak placed his hands on your face and used his thumbs to wipe away your tears. “I don't feel that way and I never will. You are the light of my life and the mother of my child. I could never regret having a baby with you. I’m in love with you, whatever happens between us, I’ll always love it. I would choose you and this family in every single lifetime.” His tone was so soft and loving, the way his words flowed through the air made you feel an indescribable sensation. You felt so much peace knowing what Lo’ak was feeling and that his feelings were all positive.

He leaned your head downward a little and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “The life I will forever want is with you and our baby.” He softly smiled, placing his hand on your stomach and feeling the baby begin to kick.

Watching him lit up as he talked about the baby and his future with you made you wonder what you were so worried about. He made you see that he was here for you, forever and always.

I hope you enjoyed🩷!

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Editor - @justmemyselfandthemoon

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[theheirofthesharingan]

I saw you reblogged a post requesting asks so here is my contribution. Feel free to ignore, because it is probably a difficult question.

So, the Uchiha burdened Itachi with their problems and used him against the village even though he was just a child. From your posts I see you defend this and there is no much to argue here, it is pretty obvious it is true regardless of the legitimate reasons they had to oppose the village. So, in your opinion, and based on the situation they were in, what would have been your course of action if you were in their place? In Fugaku's place, let's say. What should they have done taking into account that even leaving the village peacefully can be considered treason.

I just don't have the slightless idea and I think maybe you are the right person to come up with a good analysis of this.

Great blog, by the way. Happy to see a space to love both Sasuke and Itachi, it is so rare. Enjoy the day/night, whatever it is at your end.

Hey!

Yes, it is a difficult question because of the possibilities and AUs it can conjure. I'll try to answer it as best as I can.

The Uchiha clan was doomed from the start. From the time of Madara and Hashirama, I mean. It was always a one-sided game where Uchiha were always seen as an afterthought. As a goodwill gesture, Hashirama tried to offer Madara the Hokage seat and then deserted him. Okay, maybe there was some weight in what Tobirama said.

Hashirama was the driving force behind the truce and the village. It was his vision that he never gave up on and continued to fight for despite Madara not being in the picture. Uchiha also acknowledged his contribution. They lived in a warring era, so everyone was fed up with this perpetuatal violence and hate, Uchiha included. That makes Tobirama's next words about them bullshit. Unlike both Madara and Tobirama, Hashirama - who had also lost his siblings - tried to look at the bigger picture. The problem was that he chickened out of his promise he made to Madara in the last moment, which is a major breach of trust on both personal and diplomatic fronts. Both Madara and Hashirama were clan leaders and must have had the abilities required to carry on the responsibility of the village. Yes, the village was growing with other clans coming to live in and you needed abled leaders, Hashirama should have thought of it before rather than changing his stance after the proposing Madara the Hokage seat. They were both capable of handling the village, and one would always have the back of the other, because they had seen some of the worst alone, and endured the same things since their childhood.

Then, Hashirama backed out. And Madara attacked the village multiple times, slowly tarnishing the name of the Uchiha clan, who wanted nothing more than to live in peace.

To summarize it, the conflict in which Itachi was brutally used was bigger than him, Fugaku, and the clan itself. It was a deeply rooted prejudice that had taken hold because of the events of the past. It would be impossible to get rid of it and also convince the village that they were oppressed.

If they tried violent methods for it (coup d'état), it would be the end for the clan in more ways than one. It was never, ever the answer to the oppression, especially because lives were not at stake with this.

What else could they have done?

Diplomacy.

It was like shooting an arrow in the dark with the coup which may or may not have been successful, so why not try something else before taking the destructive path?

Obito mentions Hiruzen wanted to buy some time, but it wasn't enough. In Itachi's memories we see Hiruzen saying the same. Though from his Midnight novel we know Hiruzen didn't do much to help the cause and was secretly okay with the clan's extinction. It might not have been entirely due to hate or prejudice that Danzo had; instead it was 'I will not have to work on this issue too much, too long if the clan's dead completely since they're not backing out.'

It's a valid argument that since Hiruzen knew about the clan's displeasure with the system, he could have reached out too. It was his duty. However, as the marginalised group the clan could also have reached out, instead of, you know, throwing a 10-year-old child to do the spying for them, collect the information, and then attack the government.

The idea of the coup was shortsighted and upto no good. This is when the Uchiha did have some power in their hands.

They had their roots set deep into the Anbu as well.

The Uchiha police force had enough power to arrest anyone except for the Anbu (they could arrest any other Shinobi and civilians).

They had their connections in Anbu. Like I said before, pressurizing Hiruzen into taking an action and letting him know of their plight would have been a better idea than sending a child to spy for them. It was a matter of 'we'll see what happens' anyway. So why not first reach out to seek support and then do something about it if your demands are not met? It would most likely come to that eventually, but making a noise, letting others know, would have been better than sending Itachi into it. There might have been some dissenters who might have supported them, and helped their cause.

In Itachi's novels, which elaborate on the oppression, the clan looking for negotiation is never mentioned either. Historically, too, going against the village had resulted in the complete annihilation of a clan.

It all boils down to taking one more chance with the negotiation before taking the drastic measures.

One more thing that would make more sense than what they actually did, would have been waiting for the old geezer i.e., Hiruzen to die. If they weren't planning the coup d'état, Konoha would have no reason to kill them. Hiruzen wasn't immortal. He would have died at one point.

Koharu and Homura recommended Jiraiya instead of Danzo to be the fifth Hokage. In Kakashi's filler arc, Hiruzen kicks him out after the massacre, but manga doesn't provide any such information. When he's introduced he's already the leader of the Root.

There are countless possibilities on the outcome of Konoha Crush with Uchiha being in the picture. But let's say it does happen and Orochimaru causes enough damage and kills Hiruzen, the old man is dead, which gives way to the fifth Hokage. By this time Shisui must be grown up. There's a possibility he might have been Hiruzen's successor. If not him, and Tsunade does show up as Hiruzen's successor, the kind of person we know she is, she would be far more compassionate towards the clan.

Unlike Hiruzen she put Danzo and the other two elders in their place. She took stand for Naruto. She had immense respect for Kakashi as well. I strongly believe she would have been the perfect person to understand and help the clan. I don't view her as a one-dimensional 'loyal to Konoha' woman as her predecessors were, who wanted to protect the landmass rather than lives of the civilians.

Given her character I imagine her to be able to separate the cause of the clan's dissatisfaction towards the village and work on it. She wasn't blind in prejudices like others were.

I also imagine she'd dote on both Itachi and Sasuke. And Itachi might be her successor since in the novel he wanted to be one.

Also, thank you for the kind words. I know it's super rare to find people who love both the brothers. So it's nice to come across people who share my love for them both.

[clericofshadows]

opportunities

Description: Kaidan Alenko gets stuck in a Citadel elevator with Admiral Steven Hackett, and they come to a few realizations that lead to a better future regarding them and Nyx Shepard.

Pairing: Past Male Shepard/Steven Hackett, Current Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard. Future Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard/Steven Hackett

Notes: This is a No Reapers AU (or rather, mostly no Reapers with some remnants). Not terribly important to this fic, but it's how I'm writing Nyx's canon.

Kaidan still wasn't quite used to being called Spectre Alenko about as much as being called Commander Alenko.  Two new titles gained post the Battle of the Citadel, and many new responsibilities now his to handle with Captain Nyx Shepard by his side. 

The Normandy became a true joint Spectre and Alliance vessel with a new mission after her maiden voyage: root out the remaining remnants of the Reapers and geth under their thrall. 

Nearly an impossible quest in such a large galaxy, but Nyx's visions made a few things clear. 

It's still hard to imagine how close the protheans were to victory, wiping themselves out in the process of defeating most of the Reapers. 

And now it's this cycle’s turn to finally put a stop to it. 

Nyx was currently meeting some old friends of his, and Kaidan decided to take part of his leave by visiting the Alliance designated areas to burn off some steam. Sure, he could easily access the Spectre ranges, but he wasn't in the mood for that environment, preferring something closer to home and rich with familiarity. 

He sent a quick message to Nyx to let him know where he decided on going, but didn't receive a response. Probably has his notifications on silent, like damn near always when he’s not on duty.  The bastard.

Kaidan sent him a few little kisses and hugs as well for him to see whenever he bothered to look at his omnitool and rounded the corner to access the wards’ elevator entrance to get to the nearest rapid transport point. 

He entered the elevator and was about to close the doors when someone called out to hold it. He quickly pressed the button to open the doors back up, and to his surprise, it was Admiral Hackett rushing to the elevator, clothed in civilian wear.  A green turtleneck, grey dress pants, and oxfords shined to perfection.  Damn.

Not the first time he's seen him out of dress blues, but well, Kaidan can't quite deny that the man wears civilian clothing well. Especially an outfit he'd choose for himself.

Kaidan nodded at him once the doors closed, wondering why he was on the Citadel. Here for business?  His outfit suggested otherwise.

“Heading over to the Alliance outposts?” Hackett asked. "Or something else entirely?"

Being with Nyx meant that Kaidan had become closer to Hackett. They're friends, and he was easier to approach and talk to than he expected.  A quiet understanding between them, both knowing they were the few who knew of Nyx’s secret biotics.

Even with Nyx's complicated feelings, still lingering to this day. 

There were times when Kaidan wondered why Nyx chose him, especially after the Battle and when he took it upon himself to introduce the two over drinks. Kaidan didn't fully feel like an outsider, but he could see the history and chemistry between them and felt like Nyx wasn't the only one between them that still carried a torch. 

But he and Nyx have never been better.  Nyx had opened up more and was freer with his affection, his parents seemed to like him, and well, the sex was great too. 

Kaidan nodded. “The Spectre ranges are great, but I prefer something closer to home.”

“Nyx not joining you?” he observed. 

“Still out with some friends of his. Think he's using that as a way to get some more information rather than catching up. He invited me, but…” Kaidan trailed off, rubbing his neck. “Not my scene.”

“Though you two were in your honeymoon period,” he chuckled.  Kaidan felt his cheeks heat up but didn't exactly argue. “After the Battle, I think he took that as a sign to not be so goddamn hesitant with what he has.”

“Things… have been good,” Kaidan said, hesitating a little. “Still the same stoic bastard, but I get a lot more hugs now,” he laughed, testing the waters.  Hackett gave him a knowing look, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. 

This is the first time he's actually become acquainted with a partner’s ex and wanted to get to know them more beyond passing.

“Ah, always such a clingy bastard.  Wouldn’t know it until he lets his walls down,” he said fondly.  “I’m happy he finally has someone he can trust.  More than just someone who can watch his back.”

“I got the impression he wasn’t used to having a squad with him.  And when he told me more about his history, I was surprised he even accepted the Normandy.”

“As was I,” Hackett replied.  “I warned Anderson that Nyx would likely refuse, but I ended up owing him credits.”

Kaidan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that.  “You know, Nyx has never really told me about how he ended up in the position.  Well, at the time, we were still in the awkwardness of finding out he was going to be my superior officer.”

In this moment, there was something about Hackett that was easy to open up and be more relaxed with.  Maybe it was the inherent awkwardness of the Citadel elevators, but Kaidan wouldn’t mind if this trip lasted a little longer.

“Nyx has always cared about the rules until it starts to impact him,” Hackett said with a smile.  “He chose it mostly out of duty, but I think a part of him missed action despite some of his past.  Always wanting to be on the move or–” Hackett cut himself when the elevator’s lights started to flicker and the movement slowed until it stopped between floors with a bit of a creak.

Well, he got his wish.  

“Shit,” Kaidan cursed, glancing over at the panel to hunt for an emergency call option. Sure, he could get easy access to the panels and climb his way out, but where they were could make that futile.  Best to leave C-Sec to try and get them out.

And it wasn’t like he was Nyx and going to be shooting out the glass as a last resort to dealing with the Reaper threat either.

Before he pressed the emergency call button, Hackett activated his omnitool. “I'll message Nyx, but since he's technically on leave…”

“Everything is silenced,” Kaidan sighed. “I've tried to break him of that, but he won't even–”

“Put an exception in for me,” he and Hackett finished together.  They shared a long look before breaking out into a bit of laughter. 

“So, the bastard hasn't changed,” Hackett said, shaking his head. 

“Too damn set in his ways,” Kaidan replied, hitting the call button.  He expected C-Sec to be delayed for a while, still dealing with all the repercussions of the attack. 

He went ahead and sent a quick message to Nyx anyway, just in case, but he doubted it would be seen anytime soon. 

“Elevator W-AD1, this is Officer T’Seva. We've been getting multiple reports of elevator faults across the wards. May I get your names and status?”

Kaidan cleared his throat. “Spectre Kaidan Alenko and Alliance Admiral Steven Hackett.  We’re fine and in no current distress, so please, don’t feel like you have to prioritize us over others.  Do you need my credentials?”

“I don’t think that will be necessary, thank you, Spectre.  I can connect you to some of my superiors, but there’s not much we can do until we can individually evaluate every elevator.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kaidan said, glancing over at Hackett, who nodded in agreement.  “Take your time.  Prioritize what you need.  We can sit tight.”

“I’ll send that message over.  We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.  Ever since the battle,” they trailed off.  “You both are likely well aware of everything that’s been going on.”

“We understand,” Hackett spoke up.  “We’ll let you know if we run into any issues.”

“Thank you.  Again, we apologize for any inconvenience, and we hope we can get to you soon.  It appears by your diagnostics there’s something we can fix on site once we arrive.  Be careful, and call us if anything changes.”

A part of him wanted to know what exactly was wrong with the elevator, but if he really wanted to find out, he could just hack into the panel and provide external power via his omnitool himself.

Maybe it's better to remain ignorant.

“It’s alright.  Thank you,” Kaidan said, and the officer ended the call.  With a glanced look over at Hackett, they both signed and sat down on the floor of the elevator, facing each other.

“Did you get a message through to Nyx?” he asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

“It looks like it was sent,” Kaidan replied.  “Didn’t bounce back.”

“Good enough.  What exactly is he doing, by the way?”

“Catching up with some old friends of his.  They were going to bar crawl, and I wasn’t interested.”

“Not your scene?”

“Something like that.” Kaidan tapped the back of his neck.  “L2.  I don’t do well with bright lights and loud noises.”

Hackett winced in sympathy.  “Right.  You’ve done well despite–or should I say in spite of–that implant.”

“It’s merely a tool I've learned how to shape and use to my advantage.  Got a few dents and scratches, but who doesn’t?”

“You’ve got that right.”  Hackett glanced around.  “Are there–?” He made a motion with his hand, gesturing around.

Kaidan did a quick scan with his omnitool and nodded.  “Won’t take me but a second to throw up a privacy field.”

“They know there’s a Spectre and an Alliance in here, I doubt it’ll raise too much suspicion.”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan couldn’t help but grin.  “The wrong officer sees it and starts spinning all kinds of tales.”

“One superior officer is not enough for you?” He teased back, and Kaidan laughed as he activated the privacy field, scrambling the camera feed and muting the audio. 

He was a bit surprised Hackett played along. 

“Maybe not. The perks are just so good,” Kaidan said, focusing his gaze on Hackett, a smirk tugging at his lips. “The benefits alone make it worth it.”

And he couldn't deny that Hackett was quite the handsome man.  The same things that drew him to Nyx drew him to Hackett.  Scars, voices, the way they held themselves… and he knew damn well his tastes often went to older men in his fantasies.

Hackett crossed his arms against his chest, raising an eyebrow.  “Didn’t expect this from you.”

“I don’t see you complaining,” Kaidan said, keeping his tone neutral.  “Allow me to be serious for a moment?”

“Thought you already were,” he challenged.

Kaidan nodded, leaning back against the elevator wall.  “Part of me was.  Nyx never stopped having feelings for you, you know.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware,” he said quietly.  “And what does that have to do with–”

“It has everything to do with this.  Because you obviously still care for him a lot,” Kaidan said, softening his expression.  “At first, I felt like I was competing for something that I would never live up to, but later, I felt like Nyx simply had too much love in his heart for one person.  I know he loves me, I feel it and we’ve been great, but–” Kaidan stood up and sat down next to Hackett, watching as he followed his every move with his gaze.  “I wonder if he’ll be happier if he has us both.”

“So, you’re testing the waters with me, seeing if what, this could be more than us sharing him?” 

“Even if it doesn’t work between us, that doesn’t mean this won’t work,” Kaidan replied.  “All I see is an opportunity to get what we all want.  Nyx, and something more.”

Hackett snorted but something lingered in his expression. “You're a good man, Kaidan. Sorry you got dragged into our decades long mess.”

“I’m not,” Kaidan moved closer.  “I think we should all have a long talk once we get out of this mess and after we chew Nyx out for keeping us on mute, yes?”

“I think we should too.” He smiled, and Kaidan believed it to be genuine, tugging on his scar and pulling it across his face quite handsomely.  “I’ve… denied my own feelings for him for years, wanting him to move on.  But I think we were doomed from the goddamn start.” He shook his head. “As saving each other's lives changes your mindset quite a bit.”

“I'm familiar.” Kaidan closed his eyes, and he flashed back to Virmire, activating the bomb and Nyx refusing to choose between him and Ash, nearly jeopardizing the mission and losing some of the Normandy’s marine detail in the process. He flashed back to the beacon, to Nyx’s anguished cry to move out of the way when the debris of the ship and of the tower threatened to crush him and Ash. 

Kaidan felt like he hadn't had the chance to really return the favor.

“And you’ve been impacted by that as well, I see.” Hackett said, giving him a knowing look.

Kaidan blinked before nodding. “A few times.”

“He's a devoted man to the people he loves.”

“That he is,” Kaidan breathed out. He turned to look over at Hackett, his eyes glancing down at the man’s lips.  “I would kiss you right now, but I don’t want to do this without Nyx.”

He let out a surprised laugh.  “We are of the same damn mind, Alenko.”

“Call me Kaidan.”

“Then you call me Steven.” His eyes flicked down to Kaidan’s lips.  “To think we all have similar scars.”

Damn, he was right. They all had something on their lips.  Kaidan's was the least severe out of the three, though. 

“Where did you get yours?” He asked. 

Kaidan felt no need to hide it, figuring Steven already knew. “BAaT.  When Vyrnmus attacked me after I lashed out.”

He nodded. “First Contact War for me.” Kaidan could've guessed, and he didn't elaborate. 

“And Nyx as well,” Kaidan said. “He's been more open about that than I expected.  About a lot of things.”

“Such as his exposure,” he said pointedly, and Kaidan shrugged. “I knew you were something special when he told me how he reacted during his little game that damn near backfired on him.”

“Nyx is a goddamn idiot,” Kaidan chuckled. “But I still liked him despite that. When we got together, that first night, he said he saw a man he could trust.” Kaidan glanced over at Steven, who nodded and motioned for him to keep going. 

“And he wanted something specific out of me, so I was extra observant to make sure he was still enjoying himself, you know?  I've been with a few biotics, not many, and there's a common theme: we let loose in pleasure. It's hard to avoid, even for someone like me.  I saw blue rimmed eyes that night, and I told myself it was a trick of the light.  I never told him that I noticed, and he never said anything to me about it.  Maybe he didn't even notice he did it,” Kaidan finished his little tale with a sigh. “Didn't have any of the telltale signs of a current gen, so I just tucked it away in the back of my mind.  Even after he told me the truth, I didn't dwell on it.”

“I've tried my best to keep him protected from his anomaly, and I appreciate your discretion.  I've always worried with his… proclivities that something would come out.  Never did,” Hackett admitted. “Granted, he has an experimental implant and amp to help with that, but I'm a protective bastard, he would say.”

“Nothing wrong with that. I like that in a person,” Kaidan said. “I should tell him, but at this point, I don't want him to worry.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” he replied with a wry smile. 

“Thanks.” Kaidan adjusted his position, pulling a leg up.

“I'm tempted to call them back so we can get out of here sooner,” Hackett muttered. 

“You and me both, but no need to waste resources on us just because of who we are.”

“Exactly. Doesn't mean that I'm starting to be a little selfish.”

Kaidan laughed. “Ah well. We can deal with that later.”

“Speaking of, have you ever done something like this before?” Hackett asked, changing the subject. 

Omega shore leave.  Vorcha mafia, 5000 credits, a bottle of whiskey, and two very handsome men. 

Kaidan grinned. “Sort of. Had a run in with the vorcha mafia at an ill-advised trip to one of Omega’s casinos. Later I ended up doing well and securing myself a nice sum of credits and an expensive whiskey, but I angered the wrong people in the process.”

He laughed as Steven raised an eyebrow. “You contain many secrets, Kaidan.”

“I contain multitudes,” he laughed. “I guess I’m good at hiding it.  Anyway, turns out one of the vorcha I pissed off was a target for a merc, and I got involved with him and his partner in ah… more ways than one. Temporary, but I've never forgotten them.” Memories played out, surely reflected on his face, a smile that was tinged with a hint of sadness. He had their info, but lost it with a bug in his software and hadn't backed it up in time and never tried seeking them out since. 

“Looks like they got away from you,” he said softly. “I'm sorry.”

“A part of me was too, but I ended up with something beautiful in the end, so I can't complain,” he shrugged. “I owe it to them for helping me appreciate my biotics a little more.  Hadn't been with another L2 before, especially not one that wasn’t at Jump Zero, and well, the merc understood how to be with a biotic.”

“An L2 that wasn't with BAaT?” 

“Turns out that after he got the surgery, his asari uncle trained him and later fitted him with an asari amp. Fought like a commando too. Never seen anything like it. Regis was one of a kind for sure.”

“Regis… Shepard?” Steven asked. 

How the hell does he know about him?

Kaidan tilted his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. “Yeah. Why?”

“Son of Hannah Shepard, another Admiral in the brass.  She never was happy that he didn't join the Alliance, but he's a good contact for us about Terminus affairs,” he explained. “Which means the other merc was Zaeed Massani, and that makes this one small goddamn galaxy.”

Kaidan's face broke out into an incredulous expression. “You're shitting me.”

“No, I'm not.” Steven smirked.  “Zaeed was Alliance, but for only a bit.  Had a short fling with him before he left and before I knew Nyx.”

Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. “So, not only do we share history with one partner, but also have another.  Holy shit.”

Steven snorted. “Maybe we're more compatible than we think.  To good taste in men.”

“I'll drink to that.” Kaidan looked down at his lap. “Small galaxy indeed,” he echoed.

A silence fell over them, comfortable and warm. 

A ping from Kaidan’s omnitool interrupted it.  He glanced down, knowing he only had a handful of contacts that he gave notification access to.  

NS: You’re stuck in a fucking elevator?  With Steven? I’m on my way

“I stand corrected, he did get our message,” Kaidan said, showing the display to him.

“Call him.”

Kaidan put a vid call through, and Nyx answered nearly immediately, on the move.  They shared a look.

“No shit, you really are trapped.  Apparently it’s been happening all over this sector.”

“Hello to you too, love,” Kaidan rolled his eyes.  “But we haven’t been in here that long and–”

“Too late.  I’m on my way.  Already notified C-Sec to start to get you guys out.  You’re too much of a damn gentleman, Kaidan.”

“He’s not the only one who told them to hold off,” Steven interjected.  “In case there were actual emergencies more important than our comfort.”

“Oh great, not you too!  Selfless bastards.  Let me guess, are you two besties now?”

Something like that.  They shared a look again, and it didn’t escape Nyx’s notice.  He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes.  “What happened between you two?”

“Nothing bad, but… we all need to sit down and talk about it,” Kaidan replied. 

“Or you can tell me now, since you both seem comfy enough in there.”  He cocked his head to the side, not sounding annoyed or angry, just curious.

“Kaidan and I have a proposition for you,” Steven began.  “About your relationship.  About what could be something between the three of us.  Which is why this is far better with us in one room instead of a vid call.”

“Oh!” He widened his eyes.  “Fuck, uh… okay.  Wow.  You really think this could work even after all these years?”

“Only one way to find out.  Kaidan proposed it because… quite frankly, Nyx, you aren’t the only one that misses what we had,” Steven said softly.  Kaidan reached over to squeeze his hand, and to his delight, he took it and held on tightly.  

Nyx closed his eyes, breathed out, and opened them a moment later.  “Alright. We can talk. Kaidan, you asked for this?  Even though…” he trailed off, looking unsure. 

“Nyx, I love you, and I want you to be happy. And I can't deny that I can see something working between all of us.  But even if Steven and I find that we don’t work, that doesn't mean we can’t still have this between you two and between you and me..” Kaidan punctuated his statement by gesturing between them.  “And well, you know what I like.” He grinned.

“Shit, Kay, I love you too, you know that.  And, yes, I know what you like.  Hell, a part of me has selfishly thought about this too, though in ah… more compromising positions than this.” Nyx smiled.

“Never change, Nyx,” Steven said, starting to lean against Kaidan.  

“Don’t plan on it.  I’m on my way.  Oh and feel free to, well, spend your time however you like until we get there.” He winked and shut off the call.

A message popped up a moment later, addressed to the both of them.

NS: C-Sec told me they’ll be there in fifteen.  That gives you at least ten ;)

Cheeky bastard.  

Steven let out a breathy laugh.  “Obviously, we need to talk about this far more than that, but… what do you think?”

Kaidna smiled, leaning in closer.  “I think it went well.  He gave us a ringing endorsement, so why not spend those–” he glanced down at his omnitool– “next few minutes getting to know each other a little bit more.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Steven made the first move, closing the distance between them, first with a soft, chaste kiss, testing the waters.  Kaidan chased after him when he broke away, deepening the kiss and climbing into his lap.  He made a surprised sound when Kaidan settled on top of him, pulling him in closer and tangling a hand into his hair.  Fuck, he was good at this, Kaidan biting back a moan as Steven started to explore his mouth.

“Don’t tell me you like to be quiet,” Steven said, breathing against his lips.  

Kaidan chuckled, moving to kiss down his neck, pushing away his turtleneck.  “Didn’t want you to think I was easy.  No, I like it loud…” he nipped a kiss just underneath where the collar of the turtleneck sat.  “I like it rough…” he licked a stripe up to his ear to purr into and nip at the lobe.  “I love it public, even.”

To his surprise, Steven only laughed, keeping a hand tangled in his hair.  “Good.  I think you and I will be just fine together.”

For a brief moment Kaidan wondered exactly how similar they were and if that factored into Nyx choosing him and staying with him.

“Yeah?  I look forward to finding out more,” Kaidan said, leaning in to kiss him once more, but the elevator shifted and the panel started to ring.  Right.

Kaidan lifted himself off of him and watched Hackett adjust his pants before he got up out of the corner of his eye.  He cleared his throat and accepted the call.  “Hello?”

“Hey Spectre.  It’s Bailey.  We’re getting you two out thanks to your fellow Spectre.  Mechanical failure and software failure, nasty business.  You’ll be moving again before you know it.”

“Thanks,” Kaidan replied.  “Let us know if you need us for anything.” He hoped he didn't sound out of breath. 

“We have it covered.  Just sit tight for a little longer.”

The call hung up and they both let out a sigh of relief. Kaidan leaned against the back wall of the elevator. “Almost got too carried away.”

“You clearly aren't sorry about that.”

“You're right. I'm not.”

The elevator’s lights flickered and suddenly it started to move. A few moments later, it stopped on its original destination, and on the other side, Nyx was waiting for them, along with some C-Sec personnel. 

“Good, you two didn't kill each other,” Nyx laughed, leaning in to kiss Kaidan's cheek as he walked out. “Are you still planning on going over to the ranges or…?” He looked expectant. 

“I think I just want to relax for a while. Let's go back to the apartment,” Kaidan said, taking his boyfriend's hand. “Might make some good food, if you want to join us, Admiral.”

“Lead the way,” he replied, and they headed over to the nearest transport hub.

– –

The moment they were inside their apartment, they all immediately headed over to the large couch Nyx insisted on buying for them.  Now, Kaidan was thankful to have it, all three of them able to sit comfortably after taking off their shoes.

Nyx sat in the middle, his hands in his lap.  “First, I have to ask: Were you two making out when they called y’all back?”

Kaidan sighed in exasperation as Steven snorted.  “What do you think is the answer to that, Nyx?” Steven asked, nudging him on the shoulder.

“A damn shame you two threw up that privacy field, is what I’m going to say to that.  I guess… you both found out you two are a helluva lot more similar than you both realized,” he admitted, not meeting either one of their eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” Kaidan said, gently turning Nyx’s face towards him.  “I’m not mad that you clearly have a type.  I mean, I do too.” He laughed, trying to break up the tension.  It seemed to work by the way Nyx’s shoulders relaxed.  “It just means that we may end up being more compatible than we realized.”

“Or maybe not,” Steven replied, though not out of any malice.  He kept his tone light as he continued, “but we won’t know unless we try.  And we can still both love you, Nyx, even if we don’t end up feeling that way for each other.”

Nyx closed his eyes, leaning back into the couch, letting out a deep breath.  “Yeah, you’re both right, as loathe am I to admit it.  I want both of you.  Ever since I met you, Kaidan, and you took care of me that night the way I needed, God… you became special to me in a way I haven’t felt in many years.” Kaidan squeezed his hand.  “And Steven, you were the one I let get away and I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you were,” Steven began, and Kaidan saw him reach out for Nyx’s other hand.  “But that distance may have been good for us.  Don’t apologize for something that ended up being good for us in the end.”

“Time will tell on that,” Nyx said, looking at both of them.  “I know Kaidan has had his own experiences with poly relationships, but have you…?”

Steven shook his head.  “You know I’ve never been one for dalliances the way you were.  No, this is new territory for me too.  Kaidan told me a bit about his time.”

“Oh, he did?” Nyx smiled, taking a second to pull his hair out of his long ponytail, letting the silvery strands fall down and lay on his shoulders.  “Sounds like you two got real acquainted.”

“We did,” Kaidan said with a purr.  “We need to go out sometime as the two of us, to get there even more.”

“Kaidan, if you keep up that voice, we’re going to go a lot farther on this damn couch than just a conversation,” Nyx warned, shaking his head.  Kaidan pecked his cheek, glancing at Steven who watched in interest. 

“We do need to go out as couples a few times.  I’ll be on the Citadel for a while longer, so I want to take you both out separately.  See where this goes… get to know the man that claimed your heart,” Steven said, his own voice falling into a husky purr.

Nyx held his head in his hands.  “Fucking hell there’s two of you now.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Kaidan leaned in to whisper into his ear, watching him shudder.  “I want to hear all about those fantasies.  What positions we were in, what you were doing.”

“What we were doing,” Steven continued from the other side.

Nyx took another deep breath.  “Yeah.  One day.  I’ll do whatever you two want.  But now?  I’m hungry and that bar food wasn’t enough for me and my metabolism.”

“Lucky for you, you have a biotic boyfriend who understands.  I’ll make my Mom’s chicken noodle soup.  Good, hearty, and my way of sharing the love,” Kaidan said, getting up from the couch.  

“Nyx raves about your cooking, but I think he misses being behind a real grill,” Steven said, stretching himself out on the couch.  Nyx nodded at the mention, Kaidan familiar with how much his man loves to grill, even impressing his father when they were prepping for dinner.   “I’m a bit of a chef myself.”

“Oh, really?” Kaidan asked, making his way over to the small kitchen, starting by washing his hands.  “We’ll need to compare notes.  Most of my recipes are modified for our increased caloric intake, but I make Mom’s soup as authentic as I can.”

“I still keep my modified notes from when we found out about his exposure.  I’ll take you up on that offer,” he said.  Kaidan felt something in him soften at that.  

Kaidan started to gather the ingredients, laying them all out on the table before he started putting the basic stock together.  He grabbed his favorite stock pot and put it on heat, tossing a few tablespoons of butter in.  To his surprise, Steven got up to join him.  “Need some help dicing and slicing?”

“Could always use an extra hand,” Kaidan said with a nod.  “Dice those carrots, celery, and onions for me.”  He grabbed a few cloves of garlic and started to mince them, motioning over to a nearby cabinet that had a spare cutting board.

Steven nodded and got to work.  “Am I going to get the recipe after this?”

“You’ll have to meet my parents first,” Kaidan replied with a wink, smiling while Nyx laughed as he got up to join them, leaning against the edge of the island.  

“Already making plans to introduce him to the Alenkos…” Nyx said with a teasing lilt to his voice.  “How long did it take for you to take me over to them?”

“Remember, we were on the Normandy for how long?” Kaidan chuckled.  “And they ended up loving you, so you had nothing to worry about.”

Steven looked only a little hesitant, slowing down his dicing before recovering.  

“Don’t worry.  My parents… have a lot of love to give.  They’ll approve,” Kaidan said, but a part of him knew that his father was worried enough about the rank difference between him and Nyx.  Not that it really mattered with both of their Spectre statuses, but introducing Steven into the mix is going to make things… interesting.  

Better see how this goes before he mentions it to his parents.

“Sounds like Nyx’s family,” Steven said, scraping the vegetables into the pot at Kaidan’s nod.  “You’re Earthborn too, right?”

Kaidan nodded.  “Around Vancouver.  My family has a beautiful orchard we call home.”

He waited for him to elaborate on his own origins but he didn’t.  Nyx didn’t offer anything either, so Kaidan wasn’t going to pry just yet.  He started to stir the vegetables, adding the garlic after a couple of minutes passed.  “Chicken’s in the fridge, if one of you could grab that for me.  I’ll let it cook in the stock and with my Mom’s seasoning mix, and in less than an hour, we’ll have our soup.”

Nyx nodded and grabbed the requested ingredient.  Kaidan tossed in some of the seasoning mix, careful to not let Steven see too much of the process, just to be a little shit.  He eyeballed the amount of chicken stock he needed and grabbed the wrapped chicken thighs, placing them in the stock after bringing it to a boil.  He reduced the heat to a simmer and covered the stock and chicken and set a timer on omnitool to check it later to make sure everything had cooked through.  “Alright, out of my kitchen,” Kaidan said, washing his hands again.  “Won’t be done for a while, so let’s find something to watch while we wait, hmm?”

Nyx, of course, found a pre-eezo discovery sci-fi film to watch, enjoying his tradition of grading old-Earth sci-fi to see how accurate they were.  Kaidan found it endearing and adorable, the way he kept a meticulous spreadsheet of his personal ratings and opinions.  

Nyx grabbed the knit blanket they kept folded over the back of the couch and unfolded it over them.  

Kaidan settled against Steven, never quite resisting a good cuddle, and relaxed as the movie began.  He could get used to this so easily, he realized.  The intimacy of making food together, working in a kitchen and knowing where the other was at any time. 

Steven wrapped an arm around Kaidan and pulled him in closer as he leaned in to peck Nyx on the lips, soft and sweet, a contrast to what Kaidan and Steven got up to in the damn elevator.  Nyx let out a surprised sound and with a chuckle, he pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss. Kaidan watched them with a soft smile on his face, seeing how the former ex-lovers relaxed into each other, a familiarity and ease that quickly overcame any awkwardness they initially had. 

“I missed this,” Nyx admitted quietly, just loud enough for the both of them to hear, breaking apart from the kiss with a sigh.

“Me too,” Steven replied, vulnerable and open and soft.

Kaidan saw their years apart melt away.

“And now I want to see what I missed,” Nyx teased, motioning towards him and Steven.  “If you two want, of course.”

“I think we can manage,” Steven said, his piercing eyes landing on Kaidan.  First, Kaidan had to deal with Nyx’s gene modded purples, and now he’s dealing with Steven’s icy blue.  

Kaidan answered by leaning in for a kiss, pressing his lips softly against Steven’s, letting out a pleased sigh as he parted his lips, letting him take the lead.  He heard Nyx make a happy noise from beside them, clearly enjoying the show.  They kept it relatively chaste, merely enjoying making out like teenagers on the couch, but it was new territory for them.

They’ll have plenty of time to explore later.

When they broke apart, Steven asked, face a little flushed, “So, Kaidan, what do you like to go out and eat.”

And all Kaidan could do was laugh and give him a smile.  

This could work, according to the stirring in his heart and the pleasant heat throughout his body.  Someone who understands Nyx and his past and his secrets.  Someone who’s been through it all.

Someone who also knows Kaidan’s secrets.

He had to admit to himself that it was nice not having BAaT hanging over him, already knowing that Hackett knew part of the story because of his file.  One day, he’ll give him the full story, and maybe he’ll hear some more stories of their past.  Of the war they both fought in and survived. For now, though, Kaidan was content waiting for his meal to be done and relaxing with what could be the best opportunity he’s had since the Normandy posting.

[navigatorsghost]

[Source: this post.]

OMG sorry @ladytyburn XDDD but okay, thank you so much for asking about my AU! <3 I decided to make this a separate post rather than drop lore in your notes because apparently I had a lot to say once I got started?

(Soulmark AU infodump below the cut!)

Okay, so, Soulmark AU starts from the basic premise that for chakra users specifically (and only chakra users), fate matches you with a soulmate. Every shinobi, samurai, etc is either born with a soulmark or expects to develop one as they grow up, depending on whether they or their soulmate happen to be born first. The mark consists of one or more black kanji, like a tattoo, on the inside of the wrist of the dominant hand; the specific kanji you have will relate to some fundamental quality or trait of your soulmate, but their symbolism is often super cryptic and obscure until you actually meet the other person and go "oh, I get it!"

Speaking of which, when you meet each other, you'll know, and the thing you're meant to do at that point is to grip each other's forearms so your wrist marks touch. On doing this, you will both experience a neurochemical response that biologically calibrates you to your soulmate and dumps a ton of bonding hormones and so on into your bloodstream. Newly bonded soulmates will, if left to their own devices, collapse into a heap of fluff for several days and then emerge shiny-eyed and ready to take on the world together. Culturally, soulmates are recognised as Very Meaningful and bonds are generally respected, but there can definitely be cases where an awkward or inappropriate bond causes drama, outrage, or political disasters (which is where the fun starts, of course).

Random facts of possible interest:

Soulmate bonds often develop into sexual connections just because of the sheer biochemical intensity involved, but it's completely possible to be celibate or platonic soulmates (because of the whole "fated compatible match" thing, if one partner isn't interested in sex for some reason, the other generally won't be either.) Sometimes siblings can even be soulmates, which due to them being raised together tends to naturally create a very different dynamic to the one you get between soulmates who meet as adults. As a rule, the younger you are when you meet your soulmate, the more smoothly the bonding process will go (especially if you haven't gone through puberty yet) and the less emotional upheaval will accompany it.

Soulmarks are connected to some unique anatomical features: there's a small gland in the wrist directly under the mark, which secretes bonding hormones, plus a few other associated glands and things and the bit of the brain that controls them. This means that while soulmate bonds are both spiritual and physical, it's possible to destroy the physical side of a bond by surgically removing someone's mark and glands. This is severely culturally frowned upon, but is practised by some black-ops type organisations, including Root. If it's done before you meet your soulmate you will never be able to bond with them normally in this lifetime even if you still recognise each other, making this genuinely one of the worst things you can possibly do to someone. Losing your mark to accident or injury will, of course, also impact your ability to bond with your soulmate...

The soulmark appears on the dominant hand, so in order for the matching wrist grip thing to work, it is Just How Things Are that your soulmate will always have the same dominant hand as you. This has the side effect that if you're naturally true fifty-fifty ambidextrous, you may have two soulmates, which is very rare but not unheard of. Some people in that situation just get another ambidextrous person as their soulmate though.

If your soulmate dies, your soulmark will fade to a dull red. If you were already bonded to them you will suffer extreme grief and physical withdrawal symptoms; these are survivable, but not everyone chooses to live on without their soulmate. If you hadn't met them yet you will experience only an echo of the physical loss, but intense grief is nonetheless a normal and accepted reaction.

It's pretty universally believed that soulmates are a For All Time thing, so following a soulmate bereavement, finding each other again in your next lives is commonly hoped for and expected. However, sometimes, a red soulmark may return to black, meaning your soulmate has either been reincarnated early, or physically returned from death in some fashion. This is mostly just a popular romantic fiction trope, but does sometimes happen in real life too, especially if you lost your soulmate very young (or live an unusually long life).

As for what all this has to do with Naruto and Gaara, to come back to the original point; I don't want to spoiler too much because they're meant to be the next chapter in my ficlet collection, but yes, they are soulmates, mostly because I love how loyal they are to each other in canon and how much they understand each other in ways nobody else does or really even can.

Random fact: Gaara's forehead kanji is actually a copy of his soulmark in this AU! He and Naruto meet at the start of the Chūnin Exams as per canon but things go, uh, very differently, which is obviously going to have a knock-on effect across the plot of the series in general though I haven't worked all that out yet. Because they're both jinchūriki, their bond is going to get complicated for sure (please picture Gaara and Naruto hugging each other ferociously while Shukaku and Kurama glare at each other and facepaw in the bijū-dimension) but I fully intend for them to get a lifelong happy ending, and your comic just made me think of how they'd be with each other in that AU so I tagged it for personal inspiration. Thank you for the lovely art and indeed thank you also for chasing me about this!

BTW if you want to read what I've actually written for this AU, the ficlet collection is here. Pairs I've written so far are Hidan/Jashin and Hidan/Deidara (the ambidexterity rule applies for Hidan!), Sasori/Third Kazekage (my favourite tragic OTP for Narutoverse) and Kakuzu/Shikamaru, which is my best friend's fault and the direct result of a fic they haven't posted yet because I'm still betaing it >_>. I'm still working out what a lot of the soulmate pairings in this universe ought to be though, so this fic will update very irregularly.

Thank you again for taking an interest and if you want to ask me more about any of this, please do, I love to ramble about my AUs!

[bluegekk0]

I figure it's about time I ask.

But first, a slight bit of context

In my AU, when Wyre was younger he was a cocky little asshole until he tried to fight Grimm. He kept getting up (despite being on the brink of death) and Grimm just stopped fighting him. He became a mentor to the vessel. Wyre was still a bit fearful of Grimm (he still couldn't take Grimm down). Basically any time Wyre saw Grimm after that, he'd instinctively bow (despite being told not to on multiple accounts) That's it in a very condensed nutshell

The question is: What would be (your AU) Grimm's response to Wyre instinctively bowing when he saw him.

I hope that's not too much for such a simple ask

I also had planned to post this on @/hollowed-city but I don't quite like the way it looks. I still wanted you to see it tho

Despite knowing this isn't the pk of his au, he still can't help but be angry.

I hope I'm not being annoying

don't worry, you're not being annoying at all! i like these kinds of questions, it's always fun to speculate how a meeting like this would go

as for grimm, i don't think he would mind initially. he's used to it, people bow to him all the time, whether it is simply out of respect or out of fear. he also does it fairly often, usually in front of an audience whenever he acts in one of the troupe's performances

he has a bit of an ego so i would even go as far as to say that he would enjoy it, especially if it's driven by fear. he's polite, sure, but he also takes much delight in others perceiving him as intimidating

(maybe, since the nightmare essence is rooted in fear, it actually has a some kind of effect on him. like he's passively draining someone's energy if they're terrified, it wouldn't be much, i guess it'd be more like a little snack. it's an interesting idea to consider, and would give a bit more reasoning for why he enjoys intimidating others so much. though i also dig the idea of him doing it simply because he finds it amusing. i like him being an asshole to strangers, it contrasts very nicely with his soft and approachable self when he's with his family. but i'm drifting away from the topic so i'll stop here)

i don't think he'd tell them to stop unless they were getting in his way. he doesn't have a lot of patience for strangers, and since your character is from another universe, he wouldn't feel the same fondness he'd feel for a vessel in his world (on the sole basis that they're fpk's children). so if he found wyre's antics irritating, it's possible he would react with anger and tell them to get out of his sight. but i don't think it would get to that point

[miela]

Thank you for being so respectful in your response.

You did something in your response that most Jegulus shippers I have seen are unable to do which is admit that canonically, Jegulus would have never been a thing. Like I said, I have no problem with Jegulus as an AU ship but we all know they have evolved past that.

And now you have people genuinely convinced they would have been a more compelling ship than Jily, that Jily is boring and James didn’t even love her that much, bringing Jegulus up under the comment section of posts about Jily or tagging their content under the Jily tag.

I saw a video of a girl recently on Tiktok. She was a teenage girl at university, so I am not judging her but she made a video on why she prefers mlm over wlw or straight ships as a straight cis girl and both of video and the comment section of people agreeing with her, it was a feast of internalised misogyny. One of her reasonings is that she struggles to read straight fanfiction because she feels insecure towards the female characters. Being so insecure about other women that even fictional women being loved by your favourite male characters unsettles you has to do with internalised misogyny. Another argument I saw in the comments was reading fics of mlm chapters takes the reader away from having to deal and read about misogyny because the main characters aren’t women, yet they read mlm fics (like Choices) that are full of misogyny towards the side female characters. But this fandom reduces everything to “let people have fun”. Yes, it’s just fictional characters and it’s not that deep at the end of the day but the way people engage with fandom shows a lot of their biases and a lot of it has quite problematic roots.

I apologise for the yapping. I am just pleased to have a polite discussion.

No need to apologize for yapping! All I do is yap lmao literally yap all you want in here my page is a safe space for the certified yappers like myself! And no need to thank me! Wouldn't be fair to ask for politeness and the respond with snarkiness (not that I had the desire to anyways).

Now I can't speak for everyone, only for myself and some of my other friends that also have the same reason as I do.

The reason I personally like mlm ships is because I grew up around toxic masculinity my entire life to a point where I couldn't talk to boys, men or masc people. Getting into mlm ships helped me realize a new perspective on how men and masc people actually are. I literally have men and masc friends now which is important to me because I used to be deathly afraid of them.

However!! I do love wlw ships just the same! They helped me realize that I am sapphic and some have even helped me fight my own personal internalized misogyny.

I don't mean to sound all "I'm not like the other girls" or whatever. I think it's just a perspective thing and how I personally engage with character shipping.

It's very interesting to see how people react so differently to ships and shipping dynamics. Honestly that's a lot to unpack for sure. Especially if they don't realize that it's internalized misogyny.

[toh-tagteam-au]

Tag Team AU Synopsis – Pre-Canon Events

Synopsis Masterpost Link

Next [Covention]

Alright! Let's get started. This is the beginning of a Very Boring Blow-By-Blow Explanation of the whole Tag Team AU.

Luz falls into the water of the Old Gravesfield cemetery at age 7. Her dad had just died a few days prior – noteworthy because she has not read the first Azura book yet. The water is infused with Titan’s blood, and she is shunted to the demon realm. 

Luz finds herself in the woods near the Emperor’s castle during a storm, and she quickly finds out this place is out to get her. She learns to run first and ask questions later, at least until a 9 year-old Hunter discovers her on a mission. The basilisks broke out during the storm, so the coven has all hands on deck hunting them down. 

Luz and Hunter quickly become friends, once Luz realizes he’s not going to eat her skin. Hunter sneaks her food during the next few days until actual coven scouts find her hiding out. They bring her back to the castle, thinking she’s a basilisk in disguise, and she is brought before Emperor Belos. Hunter sees her brought in, and quickly comes to her defense saying that she’s harmless. 

Belos, confronted with a human for the first time in centuries, immediately locks onto how quickly Hunter comes to her aid. Seeing an opportunity to maybe have a successful grimwalker clone of Caleb this time around, he takes Luz in and gives Hunter full responsibility for her, just as Caleb did for Philip. He lies and says he will look for a way to get Luz back home, but until then she has to keep the fact that she is human a secret – who knows what witches will do to her if they find out what she is.

Hunter does not take this well, and his and Luz’s relationship sours quickly as they’re forced to stay together.

It isn’t until Belos tells Luz around the one-year mark that it may be impossible for Luz to get back home, that Hunter and Luz start actually getting along – Hunter realizes how terrible he has been to her, and Luz starts putting down roots. It’s also around this time that Eberwolf meets Luz and gifts her Backup, the gildersnake. (He probably would have been named stringbean if I had written this part post season 3.)

Meanwhile, Vee successfully escapes the Emperor’s Coven on the day Luz arrives and eventually makes her way to Eda the Owl Lady, who takes her in. Eda worries about Vee being in danger in the Boiling Isles, especially with Eda’s not-very-low profile, and she doesn’t get a solution until one of her ventures into the human realm, where she is suddenly held at bat-point by Camila. 

Camila is heartbroken, having lost her husband and her daughter in the span of a week, and she still believes that Luz is still out there. Especially when she sees a strange woman appear in town doing strange things, and disappearing into a houseless door. After tracking her down to the old abandoned shack, she jumps Eda and demands/pleads for help finding her daughter in the witch’s world. Eda agrees to look for Luz, and asks for help with her Vee situation in return. They make a deal: Camila takes Vee in, and Eda comes by every week or so with updates on if she has found Luz + Vee’s magic food.

Back to the siblings: Luz has been raised as a scout alongside Hunter. She rediscovers Azura at age 10 (Hunter age 12), and organizes a small book club with other coven scouts. Through many shenanigans, it turns into a blown out shipping war that splits the coven apart for 3 months. It only ends when Belos publicly chastises Luz, restricts her creative work, and bans Azura from the castle.

(Link to the Azura Incident fanfic can be found here.)

Hunter, realizing the power and creativity that Luz has from this incident, confronts her. He’s been trying to think of a way to use wild magic to heal Belos, and he wants her help. She accepts immediately, because if there’s a way to save a father figure in her life she’s going to try her hardest. She eventually learns her first glyph with Hunter: Light. 

Over the course of the next few years, Luz and Hunter find the rest of the elemental glyphs, they are officially made into the Golden Guards, and they start experimenting with glyph combos. There’s the Iced-Over Conformatorium Incident, where they create the Super Glyph (the one Eda made in Escaping Expulsion) and have to deconstruct it under pressure while it takes over the Conformatorium, and the Smoke-Bomb Incident, where they try to combine different magic items with the smoke combo glyph to see if Belos could inhale their magic essence that way. They don’t get caught either time, but Lilith strongly suspects it’s them.

Hunter also gets his magic staff when he becomes a Golden Guard, although Luz is told she isn’t old enough to wield one yet. This holds up until she turns 14 – the same age Hunter was when he got his staff – and she is still told that she can’t have one. 

This is where the comic starts. You guys know this to a degree already. Luz and Hunter make a deal with Eda to learn wild magic. Hunter takes Luz’s place in canon, etc etc. Everything up until the end of Teenage Abomination was written in comic form which is WAY COOLER THAN THIS. IF YOU DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON READ THE COMIC RIGHT NOW. HERE'S THE FIRST PART.

Next [Covention]

Synopsis Masterpost Link

[hchollym]

Hi, I saw your recent post and from one Percy enjoyer to the other, I recommend:

A Study of Resonance by mymovingfingerwrites on ao3 (rated M) (warning for graphic depictions of violence)—— in which Percy travels back in time and tries to defeat the dark lord.

This story expands so much on the magical elements from the books, it’s amazing. And Percy is such a nerd for magic. Though, this Percy is very much morally gray and makes some questionable decisions, he is still compelling and makes you still root for him. He grows as a person over this 500k+ (!) word fanfic and is just so human, i weep.

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do if you haven’t read it already. Anyways, what are your favorite Percy-Weasley centric fics overall?

In response to this post.

I'm sorry that this took me so long to respond to! 😓

I've had several people recommend that fic to me! I started reading it a while ago, but I stopped (because of things going on in my personal life), so I'll have to go back to it! 🙂

To preface this, I love AUs (especially more obscure ones); I just find them really fun and enjoyable. So be warned that a lot of my favorite Percy stories are not necessarily realistic or in-character!

Also, please make sure you look at the warnings/tags if you are going to read any of these stories!

I'm sure there's more, but some of my other favorites are:

Treat You by BoiJustLetMeBe (Percy & Charlie, Rated G) --- An adorable story where Charlie takes Percy on a fake date to show him how his future boyfriend should treat him.

At least he has great abs by Irisen (Percy x Oliver, Rated T) --- Muggle AU where Percy finds out from the internet that Oliver (a famous athlete) is his soulmate. It's got a lot of the text and social media format instead of a traditional story format, but it's pretty funny!

Sexetera, Ad infinitum by nqdonne (Percy x Everyone, Percy x Harry, Rated E) --- Percy gets stuck in a groundhog day situation and decides to spend his time sleeping with basically everyone. There's some plot and fluff at the end though.

tears like shooting stars by starsailing (Percy x Oliver, Rated T) --- A very sweet, mermaid Percy AU where Oliver meets Percy when he almost drowns in the Black Lake.

Put Your Arms Around Me (And I'm Home) by MoonytheMarauder1 (Percy x Oliver, Rated T) --- Muggle AU where Percy is blind, Oliver becomes his roommate, and there's some great interactions between Percy & the Weasleys.

A Journey Home by edelweissmar (Percy x Oliver, Rated T) --- A Post-canon story where Oliver became disabled in the final battle. The author's summary explains it well: "Or, in which Oliver performs illegal magic on his broom and Percy, instead of having him arrested, falls in love"

Price of Wisdom by james, MadPoetess (Percy x Multiple, Rated M) --- Percy works at a sex club, has to stand up to Lucius Malfoy to protect Ron, and has some awesome interactions with all the Weasleys.

A Matter of Perspective (Through the Veil) by flowergrown (Gen, Rated T) --- Percy can see ghosts. The story includes Regulus & Ariana, as well as Percy's friendships with Oliver, Marcus, and Penelope.

So Sane It's Driving Me Crazy by tryslora (Percy x Marcus, Rated E) --- Percy is spending Christmas Eve alone for the first time, but he runs into Marcus, which leads to some lovely interactions and steamy sex.

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[miekasa]

fluff alphabet: levi ackerman

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, fluff…. obviously, no real warnings i don’t think, oh spoilers for his ova? 

↯ word count: 3k lol don’t ask me how

↯ notes: i was going to take requests for this for valentine’s day, but i figured i’d just do them all in one post lolol. i feel like i haven’t posted for levi in a while, so here we go

Activities — What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If you ask Levi to do something, there’s a good chance he’ll try it at least once for you. Unless it’s something he’s said he explicitly dislikes or doesn’t want to partake in, he’d gladly try it out with you.

He strikes me as the kind of person to like trying new restaurants. Not necessarily the trendy or popular or exclusive ones; but local places with good recommendations or reviews.

Down for late night drives, but you have to be the one driving. He’ll drive if you become too tired, but he prefers to sit in the passenger seat and just let you take him wherever. He doesn’t mind, and it’s a sign he trusts you.

I also think museum dates would be some thing he enjoys. Not history museums—I feel like the concept of stolen artifacts on display would piss him off more than anything lol—but art museums. That’s not to say he’s extremely into art, but I think something about a museum environment is somewhat calming to him. He doesn’t mind.

One more activity I would say suits him is watching movies or shows together. Levi’s the kind of guy that catches you watching a series and expresses how it looks stupid or boring at first, but still hovers around and backseat watches it anyway. After a while, he just gives up and starts actively watching it with you and becomes invested. He just won’t admit it.

Beauty — What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

In the least cheesy way possible, everything. Levi sees people, and his s/o in particular, as a whole person, rather than the sum of their parts. He understands that everything about you—physical, emotional, or otherwise—contributes to the person he loves. There’s something to appreciate about all of it at different times.

He’d probably admire and/or find little habits you have beautiful in some way or another. Probably things you might not even notice about yourself unless he pointed them out to you.

Personality wise, he’d admire it if his s/o were blunt and/or the kind of person to stick up for themselves or their friends. A little bit assertive; not going out of your way to make other people feel small or be rude, but simply refusing to shrink to make room for others.

Physically, again, I don’t think he has a preference for most anything, but if I had to pick, I’d say he’s a thigh/ass guy.

Comfort — How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack, etc.?

Levi is observant, so he would be able to tell when you’re struggling perhaps before you’re ready to realize it yourself, and long before you’re about to burst.

However, he would ask you how he can help. For as observant as he is, he’s also not a mind reader, and if there’s something specific he can get you, he would want to know, even if it’s seemingly small or superficial.

He would be pretty proactive about it, too. The second he figures out how he can help, he’s on it. You need a new desk to work from home? He’ll have it built by that weekend. You’re feeling overwhelmed and behind on your tasks? He’s already doing the ones he can do without your help.

He does his best to try and help you relax if the issue is a stressor, and if he could, he would eradicate the root of the stress from your life completely. Unfortunately, in the real world, that’s not always possible, but it’s nice to know that he’s willing. 

The other obvious answer is tea, but allow me to expand it more generally to food. Going along with the theme of acts of service being his love language, Levi would try to provide the basic necessities for you in order to allow to focus on solving your problems and/or feeling better. If not worrying about dinner is one thing that can help you, Levi’s happy to cook for you.

Dreams — How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Simple, but fulfilled. Levi just wants to be happy—to have someone to care for, and to have someone who will care for him.

Truthfully, I don’t think he’d mind children later down the road, and I think he would be a good parent. It might not be something he talks about outright at first, but as time progresses, and perhaps the timing becomes right, it’d be something he would want to consider.

Equal — Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It’s equal. Levi doesn’t want to have more power, nor does he want to be passive. However, there are things he doesn’t mind handing over to you, and conversely, responsibilities he doesn’t mind taking on himself.

Compromise would be a big part in the relationship—not for the sake of compromising on your dreams or ambitions, but rather, to reach a middle ground if there’s any kind of argument.

I think it’s a give and take with him. And I don’t think he would want it to be any other way. He doesn’t strike me as someone who’s on either polar end.

Fight — Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

When you do fight, it’s a lot of pointed frustration. He doesn’t raise his voice, but he can get snippy, and a little closed off—speaking in clipped sentences, using underhanded phrases, focusing on past points. What drives him crazy is the aftermath of the fight, and if you give him the silent treatment, he’s bound to crack much sooner than later.

He’s quite easy to forgive. Canonically, he doesn’t like to fight with his friends or the people he cares about, and he would rather reach a solution as quickly as possible.

We saw that with Isabel and Farlan, despite the way he was firm on his decision for them to stay behind, they were able to break his resolve pretty quickly. He cares a lot about the people in his life, and I don’t think he’d like to go long with a riff between him and you. Especially if he thinks he might regret not talking to you about it sooner.

He’s one to keep a promise, but not to hold a grudge. That is to say, he understands that forgiveness goes both ways, and to work in a healthy relationship, both parties have to forgive themselves and each other at some point.

Gratitude — How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Yes and no. It might take a minute for Levi to understand the depth of your actions—especially the ones that appear more mundane or are not as explicitly romantic.

Once he does, he is very aware of them, and as such, if very grateful. He didn’t every really think he’d be able to create and be apart of the kind of loving relationship the two of you have. He really cherishes it.

Honesty — Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He has secrets by way of omission. He doesn’t lie to keep things hidden from you, but sometimes he doesn’t tell everything about himself, especially towards the start of your relationship.

It’s not always with malicious or even self-protective intent. He just doesn’t share because he doesn’t think it’s important, or that you might care. If you pry long enough or insist that you want to know just to know and because you care, then he’s happy to share.

As previously mentioned, it might take him a while to realize just how much you care about him, and his past and interests by extension. 

Inspiration — Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

As your relationship progresses Levi comes to learn that you genuinely find him attractive not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. That you actually want to know him and that he’s worth knowing.

So, his biggest change is in the way he approaches his thoughts about himself and his self worth. But he also begins to pick up on your habits, your interests, and tries to understand your general approach to life, too.

He would probably change you in some ways, too. Most notably in the way you organize and clean your space, probably. He’s not sorry about it.

Jealousy — Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

No, he doesn’t. To him, jealously would imply that someone has something he wants. Firstly, you’re not an object to him, and secondly, he has you. There’s nothing more to it.

He’s not childish, nor is he out of check with his emotions, so he wouldn’t lash out on you, especially if it’s not your fault. In his small momentary slips, you wouldn’t even have noticed he was jealous at all.

He wouldn’t like it if someone was repeatedly making advances on you, especially if you’ve explicitly told them off/they were making you uncomfortable. In situations like that, he would simply try to get the both of you out of there/away from the person as quickly as possible.

There’s also an element of trust to this with Levi. He wouldn’t expect you to try and make him jealous out of spite; and he would trust that you wouldn’t play on the advances of other people if you notice them.

Kiss — Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He is a good kisser. Mainly because he’s very perceptive to what you want and how to give it you.

The first kiss was sweet. Knowing Levi, there was probably quite the build up to it, so even if it was sweet and innocent, there was a layer of tension and a crash of emotions coming forward in the moment. It was memorable, to say the least.

Love Confession — How would they confess to their s/o?

I have imagined this time and time again… and I think it really depends on the foundation of your relationship/friendship with him before.

In the most generic scenario, it would probably be a little backwards—you would have, intentionally or not, gone on some dates before he realized what his feelings really were, and then take it from there.

If you were friends for a while before hand, it can probably go the implicit dating route—that is you’re both exclusively emotionally invested in each other, and basically involved in most relationship aspects without having realized it or put a label on it. You kind of naturally morph into a relationship, and it probably takes a verbal confession or kiss or two to solidify it.

It can also go the sexual tension route, and one day one of you finally snaps and makes a move. The verbal confession would come in the aftermath, but your actions will have solidified and expressed your feelings long before that.

Marriage — Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Again, yes and no. Without taking into account the legal aspects, the actual concept of marriage is that juxtaposition of sweet and powerful that Levi likes; the idea of devoting yourself to someone and receiving a special kind of love for the rest of your life.

And while all of that is beautiful to him, there are the unfortunate cultural norms or marriage, especially in a modern au. The legality of it all, especially the financial defaults, would be a headache. Not to mention all the fluff and grandeur and gender expectations about it. He thinks all of that fucking sucks.

Above all, he doesn’t get why people expect him to pay for what’s basically an expensive document that tells the federal government he lives with you and loves you. He could do that without them in his business.

If you want to get married, then the proposal is sweet. Intimate, and probably a call back to something in your relationship, or a significant date/event for the both of you. He wouldn’t dare do it in public or even involve anybody else, other than maybe asking a friend or two.

Marriage with Levi is much like being in a long-term relationship with him. The way he acts in marriage isn’t exponentially different than the way he had been acting as your boyfriend. It’s all still very quiet, very sweet, very domestic.

Nicknames — What do they call their s/o?

He calls you by your name, unless you ask him to call you by something else. He might call you by an actual nickname, that is a shortened version of your name, if that’s the name you usually go by.

He’s not big on pet names and they slip out from time to time, but not in place of your actual name on an every day basis. If anything, he calls your name with a very unique tone to his voice. He rarely calls for anybody else with the same tone and/or emotion.

On Cloud Nine — What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not… not obvious to his friends, but he doesn’t look like he’s been shot by cupids arrow or anything. If you know Levi, you might pick up on the fact that he seems a bit happier, less stressed, has taken up new hobbies/habits, etc. But there’s not he’s not shitting rainbows and sunshine all of a sudden.

Love is very personal and intimate for him. He would do his best to express to you that he loves you and loves the love he receives from you, but he doesn’t feel that everyone else needs to know.

So, it’s somehow simultaneously noticeable and unnoticeable when you’re together in the presence of other people.

PDA — Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss when others are watching?

Levi isn’t big on PDA. He’s not hiding your relationship, but he doesn’t care to boast it to every person he meets, either. If somebody asks him, he’ll happily say that he’s in a relationship, but he doesn’t bring it forward himself.

He’s not hiding it or shy, but he doesn’t feel the need to be all over you in public. He doesn’t anything to prove to anybody. Besides, nobody wants to see that shit. He knows he wouldn’t.

There are some displays of affection, though. Hand holding isn’t abnormal, though likely not in a casual space with your friends or family. He’ll brush is hand along your arm when he’s walking past you, might ruffle your hair if the occasion calls for it, squeeze your thigh under the table.

Quirk — Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s canonically good at math. This comes in handy when you’re at restaurants and trying to calculate a tip quickly. Somehow, he knows how to figure out 18% of your bill in 3 seconds flat.

It also comes in handy when you’re trying to organize things. Along with math comes a pretty good understanding of spatial reasoning. Somehow Levi is always able to put away your left overs using the smallest and least amount of tupperware possible. It’s kind of ridiculous, he might be a wizard.

Romance — How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

In the traditional sense, he might not appear romantic, but he’s the kind of person to say or do or gift little things that would take a much deeper romantic understanding of his partner than some grand, generic act like buying a thousand roses.

His romance is tailored to you and your relationship, not general expectations of what it means to be “romantic.”

Support — Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Levi is very devoted to you, so if you ask for his help, or he can help without stepping on your toes, he will. He wants you to not only succeed, but feel fulfilled through your achievements, and he’s happy to help you get there.

He believes in you wholeheartedly. If it’s something you really want, Levi wouldn’t dare doubt that you could achieve it.

Thrill — Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He doesn’t feel the need to try out new things based on expectations, but if you want to try something, or if he wants to try something, you can have a conversation about it, and eventually try it out.

There’s a sort of established routine in a domestic sense; a sharing of a mutual space and the behaviors associated with that. But there’s not, like, established date nights or “week-a-versaries.”

In that sense, he can be pretty spontaneous; bringing up new places to go or activities to try when the idea strikes him. But I suppose it’s never something… too adventurous? Not dangerous, at least lololol, he’s not going to randomly suggest you go skydiving as a bonding exercise. 

Understanding — How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Very well. Levi kind of makes you his business—in the most non-intrusive way possible. He’s perceptive and picks up on things about you with relative ease, and genuine interest.

He can predict how you might respond in a situation with pretty good accuracy, can guess what you might pick off the menu at a new restaurant, if given a choice has a good sense of which option you’ll choose. Very much a “I knew you would say that/do that, I don’t know why I even asked,” kind of person once he gets to know you. 

He can be pretty empathetic, and I think he would be in a relationship.

Value — How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is pretty damn important to Levi, and he devotes a significant amount of time and attention to it. Not in the place of giving time for himself, his friends, family or interests; but he is very much devoted to you.

However, he’s not the type to give up solid opportunities (ex: financial, for his family/mom, career-wise) for the sake of a relationship, especially if he’s not in the position to do so; and he wouldn’t want you to give up exceptional opportunities that align with your goals for him either.

Everything is relative in that sense, I suppose. He cares for you, deeply, and knows that you do, too. That, contrary to popular belief, is what enables you both to be strong enough to bend and not break.

Wild Card — A random fluff head canon.

I’ll give you a few :)

If you want him to, Levi will do your hair for you, and he’s pretty fucking good at it, too; hair type or texture be damned, he’ll take his time with it, and do it well for you.

When he’s alone, Levi hums himself to sleep. Usually singing/humming his mother’s favorite songs and/or songs he remembers hearing as a child.

He always gives you the lighter bags when you take your groceries upstairs/into your house. He doesn’t tell you, but he knows you don’t like to ‘make’ him do all the work.

He always makes dinner if he gets home before you.

He’s a pretty good artist, and has even drawn you once. He’s never told you or shown you, but he keeps the picture folded up in his wallet. Or behind his phone case.

XOXO — Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Affectionate in private, yes. He doesn’t mind it if you’re all over him, and truthfully, has his moments where he’s shamelessly all over you, too. Especially in the morning, he’s a cuddle bug.

Kisses are always good, he would never oppose them. He’s quite easy to persuade with kisses, actually. And most physical touches; he doesn’t get them often, so he kind of melts when he does. 

Cuddles, too. Again, all of this is private and in the comfort of your own home. His favorite way to cuddle is to either have you completely on top of him, or to lay his head in your lap. Because he loves the feeling of you playing with his hair.

Yearning — How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Levi will take part in things you like or things you’ve claimed in your shared space.

For example, he might find himself eating your favorite foods more often, sitting on the spot on the couch your sit in most often, rolling over to your side of the bed in his sleep.

He also likes to look back on pictures of the two of you. He doesn’t particularly like to be photographed, but he likes having these physical memories of your relationship, so he’ll indulge you when you want to take a picture together. And they come in real handy during times like this.

Zeal — Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Levi will definitely put up a fight for you, so long as it’s mutual. He wouldn’t pour his effort into someone or a relationship in which he feels like he’s not receiving the same.

I’m not sure what great lengths there would be to go to in a modern au, but he definitely believes that relationships are hard work, and as such, is prepared to put in the work when things get hard. He’s not a quitter, and he knows that love is foundation and requires time and energy.

He cares about you too much to let you go without reason.

[phrynewrites]

Here’s a touch of absolute fluff and softness while I work through the rest of fake dating au chapter 2! I think I accidentally deleted the ask this went with, so if it was yours, please let me know!

This takes place post epilogue in Blind Date AU.

56. “Just marry me already.”

115. “you weren’t supposed to hear that!”

____

When the shower ran, Bosco called.

It was part of their routine, really. Jasmine would get home from dance, and in the instances when she wouldn’t strip off her sweatshirt and sports bra before crossing the bathroom threshold—her silent invitation for Bosco to join her, she’d spend at least twenty minutes in the shower, scrubbing away the grime and sweat of dance before making herself a snack.

And in those twenty minutes, Bosco had taken to calling Jasmine’s parents.

They left messages each time, figuring that they had grown sick of their calling, but nonetheless, they persisted. The messages they left were long, rambling like a river, thick with praises of Jasmine, heavy with pleas for their attendance at their wedding, and coarse with reminders that spiteing their only daughter after all these years was nothing more than another unnecessary hurt for everyone involved.

So when Jasmine only removed her scrunchie, flicking it at Bosco’s chest with a crisp laugh, shaking her head along with it as though she were shaking off the stress and strain dance had put on her body as well, Bosco tried her father once more.

“It’s me, Bosco…again.” They leaned against the back of the sofa. It was the same opening line following the same voicemail message. They settled the phone between their ear and shoulder, pulling their fingers back until they heard a crack.

“I’m sure you’re getting sick of me calling, but I’m again asking you to reconsider…” After at least sixty phone calls, all met with the same lack of response, it was hard to hold a considerate tone. “Your lack of response to the invite. It was due two months ago, and I know both of us—Jasmine really, but both of us would appreciate you coming.”

As if on cue, Bosco could hear Jasmine singing some old love song from the sixties, her voice muffled by the water, but still clearly off-key. They eased back onto the couch, letting themself fall over the edge and onto the seat, legs dangling, sinking into the music and the well-loved leather.

“I know you don’t like me. We’ve met before—I’m not sure if you remember—but I remember you not liking me—”

And as Jasmine tried to hit the high note, her words slurred but shrill but sweet, Bosco broke into a grin.

“I’m pausing a lot. Jasmine’s singing right now.” They scrubbed through their hair, tugging at the roots. “And it’s bad. You probably already know that. She told me all about how you’d come to her recitals and didn’t hold back, but it’d be okay because you’d all get ice cream afterward. How it was the reason why she got into dance in the first place, so she could perform at the recitals but not be embarrassed while singing.”

“She’s not embarrassed anymore though, clearly.” They trailed off with a chuckle. “She does this every day, and every day I’m home when she gets home, I just listen to her sing in the shower and it just makes me so happy. And I tell her that, even when she shoves me off, especially when she shoves me off for joining in. And I’m not really good either.” Another chuckle.

There’s a stillness, but Bosco assumes Jasmine’s just concentrating on shaving her legs, or that they’re at the end of a song. And they close their eyes and take it in.

“She stopped and I kind of miss it. I really love it when she does this. I love that I get to hear her every day.” They drag their hand through their hair before landing on a strand and twirling. “It’s dumb, but I just love her. And anyway, we want you to come. We want you to see that. You’ll see that even though it’s also dumb, she loves me too, and—”

A wet sob broke through the stillness.

Jasmine stood at the crest of the hallway, loosely grasping a towel, dripping on the hardwoods.

“Baby, no.” They could only manage a whisper, pulling themself up and approaching her. They folded her into their arms, her wet hair pressing into their shoulder. “You weren’t supposed to hear that. I —”

Bosco fisted her hair as she pressed deeper against them, arms locking around their waist, towel slipping a bit.

“I know I said his RSVP probably got lost in the mail. Your mom’s too, but…” They knew it was a lie, pretending that the response was simply lost rather than nonexistent. “I thought I could fix it for you.”

When Jasmine pulls herself off Bosco’s shoulder, they’re quick to wipe the tears away with their thumbs, to smooth her wet hair back and off her shoulders.

“I was gonna ask if you had a hair clip.” Jasmine’s voice was small, like if she’d grow any louder, she’d break.

Bosco kissed her cheek, tasting salt on their lips as they muttered against her, “I have a few of yours, yeah.”

It’s quiet for a moment. That same kind of still Bosco felt when Jasmine started singing. If Bosco looked closely enough, they could see Jasmine thinking, they could see the gears inside her turning, though rusted by her tears.

Bosco turned. “I’ll go get your clip now.”

But Jasmine caught their wrist before they could wander too far. “You’re telling him you like my singing. That you love me.”

She asks it like a statement, but Bosco knows it’s a question. She doesn’t know why Bosco’s doing this.

“I do love you. And your singing.” Bosco said, fitting their fingers between Jasmine’s, keeping her close. “Maybe if he saw that we loved each other he would change—”

“Just marry me already.”

Jasmine’s quick to cut them off, though there's a fresh set of tears streaking through. The towel became nothing more than an afterthought, hitting the hardwood with a wet smack as she drags her hand across her face, wiping the tears away.

Bosco tried to laugh, tried to dispel the tension. “I’m trying, I swear.”

But Jasmine met them with a faint laugh only, pulling their joined hands close to her chest.

“No, we should just do it.” Jasmine glanced up to meet Bosco’s gaze, and though it was hard to see her teary-eyed, they held tight. “I don’t care if they’re there or really anyone else is. We could do it tomorrow. Just go down to the courthouse and do it. Have something later with our friends and your family and…”

Jasmine’s breathless, closer now than before, her lips an inch away from Bosco’s with every breathy word. “I just want you now.”

Bosco thought about protesting, calling up the invitations they’d already sent, the venue they’d already booked, the dress Jasmine had already ordered, much less finding two people who were willing to wait around City Hall with them all morning. But as Jasmine closed the distance, lips slotting between theirs, hands intertwined, hair wet and lush and her body pressing ever closer…

Their protests died several times over, their hand found its way to the small of her back, and their lips hummed that same broken melody from before between each kiss peppered to her cheek.

[writingwife-83]

Hello!! I saw your post regarding sending dialogue prompts if we come up with it, so here's one :)

"I love you but we can't keep going like this."

Can you please write a Sherlolly fic for this one? I absolutely love your writing and look forward to your Sherlolly fics all the time! Cheers ;)

Hi, anon! I hope this one isn’t too much of a stretch, but this is just what came to my mind when I thought about the prompt. I tried to squeeze it all into a one shot and it started to come out weird, so I abandoned that plan. Hopefully I’ll be posting part 2 soon! Anyway, hope you and everyone else enjoy this bit of Regency AU angst and romance! 🎀

We Can’t Keep Going Like This

“Shall we dance the next set as well?” Sherlock asked as they exited the dance floor, Molly on his arm.

She shook her head, giving him a tight smile. “Thank you, no. In fact, I would much prefer some fresh air.”

Molly had been especially quiet all night, and she seemed flushed and jittery. Something was on her mind and it was only a matter of time until it came out. He could only assume their impending wedding was weighing heavily on her.

They stepped out into the late summer air which was just beginning to feel a touch cool. It was clearly a welcomed change from the stuffy confined of the ballroom as Molly shut her eyes and breathed in deep.

“Dreadfully crowded,” Sherlock commented, leaning against one of the columns of the vine shrouded veranda. “The Watson’s always seem to insist on inviting absolutely every family in the entire countryside. I hardly see the appeal. The noise and heat put quite a damper on the pleasant time that might be had enjoying music and dancing. I myself would never choose to-“

“Mr. Holmes, I shall be going away soon.”

Sherlock halted, his gaze shifting to her as he tilted his head in confusion. “Going away where?”

Molly fiddled with her hands, pacing a bit in the moonlight. “I have a great aunt in Scotland. I’ve written to her and asked if I might come and stay for a while, and just today I received her reply that she’d be happy to have me. I plan to depart in another day or two if I’m able.”

“But with merely a fortnight before our wedding?” Sherlock questioned with a little laugh. “You would scarce arrive and unpack before you’d have to return. It hardly seems worth the effort.”

“That’s just it, Mr. Holmes,” she replied quietly. “There will not be a wedding.”

He stared at her in silence for a moment, absorbing her words as best he could.

“But it has all been…arranged,” he argued, the words sounding weak, even to him.

“And it never should have been arranged in the first place.” Molly’s voice became firmer and she stopped pacing, turning to him and regarding him seriously. “I love you, but we can’t keep going like this.”

I love you.

She hadn’t said those words since…well, since that fateful day a couple of months before.

“I know there was hardly anything else for your family to do after what happened with your sister,” Molly went on.

Yes, she did rather force everybody’s hand, Sherlock thought. A crowded London ball was an inconvenient time for Eurus to go completely mad, especially since the incident included threatening Molly Hooper’s life and insisting that she and Sherlock confess their love for each other as the only way to keep her safe. It was a chaotic and heart stopping moment that he, and likely everyone else in attendance, wouldn’t soon forget. Once things were handled with his sister and the dust had settled, it went without saying that some days later an engagement simply had to be announced.

“But regardless, I cannot allow this marriage to take place.” Molly shook her head, resuming her pacing. “It is happening for all the wrong reasons but I know that neither you nor your family would ever put a stop to it, which is of course a credit to you all! So I find that I am the only one who can do what must be done. I can make a home in Scotland with my aunt, where nobody knows me. A broken engagement will be left far behind, and I can do my best to start fresh…just as you will be free to do.”

Words failed Sherlock. Not only had this completely taken him by surprise, but it also felt so very wrong.

“Forgive me, but that is quite an upheaval to pick up and move your life so far away. You needn’t make such a decision so hastily,” he finally voiced.

Molly’s lip quivered when she spoke again. “Mr Holmes, I have wrestled with myself and considered all possible options since the very moment our engagement was announced! There is nothing hasty about this decision. Surely you can see this is the most logical option.”

It was at that moment that Sherlock realized he hadn’t considered any other options. Since they’d become engaged, he’d simply accepted the fact and carried on.

“For whom is this the logical option?” Sherlock found himself questioning, stepping closer and eyeing her curiously. “Forgive me, but only a moment ago you stated that you love me, and this time it was under no duress. And yet you plan to uproot your life and flee from our impending marriage. Why?”

Molly tilted her chin in the air, squaring her shoulders as she spoke coolly. “I take no pleasure in a union that is rooted in little more than obligation and pity.”

Sherlock’s brow furrowed. “Obligation and pity? But you are my friend, Miss Hooper. We are friends, are we not?”

“I did like to think so, yes.” She smiled softly, then hesitated, blushing a little. “But, Mr. Holmes, before all of this, tell me truthfully…had you ever thought to propose?”

Air caught in his throat and he had to swallow thickly, knowing full well that a lack of response would be just as clear to her as any spoken word.

Molly’s lips twisted and she looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I shall leave a note,” she explained, a little hitch in her voice. “I will explain that I am sorry for any hurt I may cause but that I simply have no wish to marry. That will surely free you from any guilt in the matter.”

She moved to leave but Sherlock caught her wrist, causing her to whirl back and face him, eyes wide in surprise.

“And that is to be the end of it?” Sherlock asked, his voice half desperation and half confusion as his thumb moved unconsciously over the silk of her glove. “You’d truly leave England?”

“Can you not see this is for the best?” Molly whispered, a sheen reflecting in her eyes. “I beg you not to make this any harder than it already is.”

And with that, her hand slipped from his and she hurried back inside the ballroom. Sherlock watched her as she made her way through the crowds, his feet frozen in place even as he felt the urge to rush after her.

He stayed outside, replaying the words they’d just exchanged over and over, and he realized that he was about to lose Molly Hooper. The reality of it was a revelation that rivaled even his public declaration of love.

A declaration which, now more than ever, he was very sure he meant.

[wildlyglittering]

A Love for all Seasons Part 1 (Winter)

I said that I would write a piece for Nessian Month to be posted each Sunday so here is the first!

I’d hoped to have this up earlier but hey ho. I ended up scrapping 8,000 words of something that I’d previously done and re-wrote this in a day. It’s barely edited so I can only apologise for dubious quality and numerous spelling errors. 

I asked for prompt requests and this one is based on ‘modern au, Nesta as a ballerina.’ You’ll probably see that it’s not entirely modern au because I just can’t write modern au - sorry!

I’ve decided to link all 4 prompts received together as a 4 part series. Not all other sections will be as long as this one. Probably. I mean, I’ve not written them yet so....

***

Velaris at Solmas was a magical time and Nesta wasn’t thinking metaphorically – Solmas was literally a magical time.

Solmas was a blend of both fae and human traditions and, as a time for celebration, this meant spirits were up and magical shields were down. Active magic rippled through the air as did the leakage from those who had magic but never used it.

No one truly remembered when the lines between fae and human’s merged and there was the possibility the fae had decided to adjust the truth in collective memory to make it seem like they had always been part of the city.

Perhaps they had. Perhaps they hadn’t. Not a human amongst them could tell and not a fae amongst them would.

As centuries passed, or decades - no one was quite sure after all, the fae evolved to blend in. They shed talons, claws and teeth, and moulted wings and shimmering skin.

That wasn’t to say a good deal of them didn’t have remnants of their previous lineage; there were still those who had wings and those who were always followed by a mist. Some slipped from human form like their flesh was a dress.

There wasn’t a fae who didn’t have some magic, however small. But then, so did Nesta and her sisters, Feyre and Elain.

At some point in their collective past, the fae decided they liked the humans and vice versa and so romantic liaisons were not an uncommon occurrence. Despite a few differences, both species were compatible and that was how magic managed to bleed into some human veins. As Feyre said, they were human but with ‘added spice’.  

Sometimes all that magic, especially at this heightened time of year, was damned irritating.

That morning Nesta had been in a café, reading her book when a lady biting into a gingerbread man had to stop on account of her baked good starting to scream.

Then, when she’d left to make her way to the ballet, she’d been caught in a snow flurry where the snowflakes took the form of small fairies and danced around her. She’d slapped them away, ignoring their outraged cries.

The walk which should have been ten minutes from her favourite café down into the theatre district ended up taking forty after some enchanted horses pulling sleighs decided to protest and caused a blockage across three streets, causing numerous detours.

When she finally reached the theatre, the peace of her day shattered, Nesta stormed into her dressing room and slammed the door. “Fucking fae.”

Nesta didn’t hate the fae. Technically, you couldn’t. Anytime anyone had a negative thought there was a haze which descended over people’s minds to remind them how much they loved the fae and how pleased they were to live beside them.

The magic in her blood meant the haze was a pithy little thing which Nesta mentally told to shove its pleasantries up its non-existent asshole leading it to drift away, pretending it wasn’t offended.

No, she didn’t hate them but she found them so inconvenient.

Nesta had settled at her dressing table when her door opened following a knock. A head peeked round, long ruby-red hair streaming downwards. One of the fae Nesta did like.

“Nesta?”

“I’m here.”

“Viviane said she’s going to turn a portion of the Sidra into an ice rink later, fancy coming? I might also take an ice-dive. Good for the pores!”

Gwyn, the production assistant at the Velaris City Ballet Company was fae but was classified as a water nymph. Nesta had only discovered this when they took a trip to Adriata the beach city the previous year for a ‘hot girl summer’ and she realised Gwyn had a set of gills accompanying her lungs.

Nesta met Gwyn’s eyes in the mirror and raised an eyebrow.

“What? I can’t help myself; you know that. I take it the ice-rink is a no?”

Nesta shook her head in response as she began on her hair but smiled. Despite herself she really did like Gwyn and Viviane, and a lot of the production company too even though the company was riddled with nepotism and bias.

Few humans managed to win a place in the ballet. Arts and creative pursuits were hard to break into when you were auditioning against fae. The only reason Nesta was as successful as she had been was because of that drop of magical blood.

She reached for the headdress resting next to her make-up. The Solmas production was The Nutcracker which their performance director, Eris had choreographed and screamed over for weeks.

“Tchaikovsky was a close, personal friend of mine,” he’d bragged. “He was fae of course, well – half-fae, but then no one can be perfect.”

Nesta had rolled her eyes and ignored Eris’ glare, not at all intimidated since they both discovered she immune to glamours and spells.

Nesta hadn’t been able to score the prima ballerina role for the production but then she hadn’t for years. How can a human compete with fae who spun in the air and flew on invisible, gossamer wings?

She’d auditioned for the role of Sugar Plum Fairy and wasn’t offered the position on account of the actual fairies also auditioning. If Nesta had managed to win the role then she wouldn’t have lasted a week before a surprise accident befell her, regardless of the amount of protection charms she wore.

The role she had won suited her fine, the dance being one of her favourites – the Illyrian dance. The steps weren’t complex but the performance was all about attitude and frankly, Nesta had that in spades.

When she’d been offered the dance, Gwyn took her aside in the corridor, a frown on her face. “Are you sure you want to perform this Nesta?”

“I know what you’re going to say, the dance should have gone to an Illyrian and you’re right – it should have. I’ve been trying to petition Eris for years now about Illyrian ballerinas but he’s always up to his typical high-fae purist bullshit.”

Gwyn had given a nervous laugh and looked around them, making sure Eris wouldn’t somehow leap out of the wall at the comment. It was a fair suspicion; he’d done it to performers before if they had any critique of him to say.

“Just do the dance cultural justice.”

Nesta swore she would.

On the scale of species hierarchy, full humans remained at the bottom. They were aging mortals with no magic and poor immune systems. The fae laughed themselves silly at the concept of chicken pox and the common cold. However, it didn’t mean every fae species was revered.

High fae like Eris were basically royalty while lesser fae were their middle-class cousins. Nymphs were considered useful and the majority of other fae fell someplace in between.

Illyrians were almost a side step from the hierarchy.

As a species they were immortal, eternally youthful and ripe with magic as powerful as some of the high fae. Some of their bodies were like machines with what they did with them and they would have been able to perform ballet for days on end without breaking.

They also had those vast jet-black wings which were terrifying and enthralling at the same time. It was a shame Illyrian Air didn’t do well, but then there were far too many customer service issues.

The only reason they weren’t on par with the high-fae (in the eyes of the high-fae) was that they weren’t elegant enough. They moved with a violence underneath the surface of their flesh like their blood was fire.

They also had complex histories which no one understood because Illyrians refused to discuss anything about Illyria and their heritage with anyone who wasn’t an Illyrian.

She once asked Feyre about them to be told Illyrians had spent their entire lifetimes being looked down upon by other fae so when those same fae demanded Illyrian secrets, they refused to comply.

Feyre had said, “Cassian told me, ‘Why should we give them anything when we have to fight for everything,’” and Nesta conceded he had a point. Possibly the only point Cassian had ever had but a point nonetheless.

Why was she thinking all this now? Why was she thinking of her baby sister’s stupid friends? She knew very well why.

Gwyn had stepped into Nesta’s dressing room. “Isn’t tonight when your sister and her friends are coming to the show?”

Yes, that was why.

Gwyn leant against the wall, in Nesta’s line of sight in the mirror and Nesta shrugged keeping her voice nonchalant. “Yes, unfortunately.”

It wasn’t unfortunate Feyre was coming, Feyre who loved anything to do with art and ballet but Nesta wasn’t looking forward to the rest. Rhys, Feyre’s half high-fae, half Illyrian boyfriend had all the arrogant superiority of the high-fae and the volatility of the Illyrians with none of the manners.

Nesta was painfully aware Rhys didn’t like her.

The rest of the group were also non-human with Feyre seemingly abandoning humans completely, preferring the exclusive company of Rhys circle of fae friends. Elain was the opposite, living outside the walls of the city in her cottage, wanting nothing to do with fae at all.

Feyre had told Rhys a bunch of stories from their childhood and Rhys didn’t quite comprehend how human sisters worked, didn’t quite comprehend how complex their relationship had been.

The spit of magic in their blood had made things all the more difficult as humans were not the best containers for magic. In Nesta’s eyes what made it worse were all the tattoos Feyre had inked into her skin; amplifiers mostly.

Anger had been born from Nesta’s worry and her worry was from her love.

Feyre understood the root cause of Nesta’s peevishness even if she didn’t like it but Rhys saw disapproval and returned it in kind.

At the thought of some of the attendees Nesta’s heart started doing something change, fluttering away like it was a bird trapped in a cage. She remembered when Ianthe, one of the ensemble, had shown them the pet bird she’d brought.

“Isn’t it lovely?” she’d said, her eyes glittering as her fingernails grew sharp. “Such a pretty pet for me to love.”

Nesta remembered the poor thing desperately trying to fly out of its cage, smashing its wings and beak against the bars.

Ianthe ended up eating it. She’d sobbed she hadn’t meant to but she hadn’t grabbed her protein bar that morning when she’d left her apartment and she was starving.

They couldn’t help it; it was in their nature to consume. The fae were like locusts that way, consuming land, lives, birds. Hearts.

Gwyn’s smile at Nesta’s response stretched into one which took up most of her face and Nesta refrained from shuddering. Nymph embodied the gentle and the harsh of their element. Water nymphs had the ability to be as tranquil and soft as summer rain or as vicious and deadly as a shark in deep water.

“Uh-huh. Will Cassian be attending?”

“I don’t know, probably.”

“Are you nervous about doing the Illyrian dance in front of Illyrians?”

Yes. Terrified.

“No,” she said, “I’ve done my research.”

Eris’ choreography for the dance was lazy and aggressive, rooted in his high-fae misperceptions of Illyrian culture. Nesta convinced Eris to let her put together her own steps and when he let her, not giving a damn about the dance, Nesta sought out the sole Illyrian choreographer in Velaris - a woman named Emerie.

At least the dance would contain authentic steps, she’d just never performed it in front of any Illyrians who weren’t Emerie before.

Gwyn’s grin was still wide.

“Oh, go away would you,” Nesta said with a scowl. “I need to focus before the matinee.”

Gwyn laughed at Nesta’s scowl and Nesta knew Gwyn understood Nesta’s words were harsh but her meaning wasn’t.

“Fine, fine. I’ll see you later, my little witchy dancer.”

Nesta glared at her friends departing back. I’m not a witch, she wanted to say, just a human whose great grandma caught the eye of a high-fae and had at it.

The matinee performance went well. Performances at the Velaris City Ballet Company always went well. The city made it so, drawing in an audience like moths to lamplight.

For all its splendour, Velaris was ancient and small. What was once a human village at the base of the mountains with the Sidra River running wild aside it, grew in population and glamour once the fae came pushing through the veil.

Human technology and fae magic combined to turn the place into something unique which rippled out to other human towns and dwellings but Velaris remained the first and the original.

While other cities grew, Velaris kept its quaintness. Old buildings built from red stone were covered with trailing ivy which bloomed with different flowers depending on the inhabitants’ moods. Rooms would change their size and shape according to the number of people within and wallpapers would shift when required to become something new. A piece of furniture could be a chaise longue in the morning and a mahogany dresser by nightfall.

Outside was no different. The cobbled side streets were slightly off kilter and you could look back, having walked up a steep street only to realise the path you’d walked was now heading a different direction and upwards, not down.

The ballet house was one of the oldest buildings and contained concentrated magic the way a bottle contained liquid. It also meant, much like liquid, if the bottle was shaken then there would be spillage.

Truth told; they’d had some difficulties with previous performances.

The first performance of Sleeping Beauty had left the majority of the audience passed out in their red velvet chairs while thickets of thorns grew up from the stage floor, encompassing the dancers. Nesta had to hack through several vines to reach her dressing room to grab her apartment keys.

The Snow Queen last Solmas followed suit. Viviane had been their prima ballerina that year and was in her utmost element. That had been the worst winter Velaris had ever experienced with uncharacteristic heavy snowfalls and biting frosts. The less said about the temporary missing children and ominous women in sleighs, the better.

Aside from when Eris turned actual rats into human sized dancers and the whole city was put into a three-day long lockdown while fae exterminators went to work, The Nutcracker was going fairly well.

Magic whirled the audience through each act and they heard and tasted and smelt everything being shown to them. Music would drift into their ears as performers danced fluidly across the stage. Some of the audience sobbed, overcome by the magic which sank into their skin.

The experience took some time to get used to if you were human. The first time Nesta had performed ballet in Velaris she was dizzy with nausea and slick with sweat. Now she even managed to use some of her own dormant abilities to counter the effects, or even to add in some of her own.

Before the evening performance began, her phone beeped with a message from Feyre.

Can’t wait to see you dance! Catch up with you afterwards!

Nesta groaned. She’d agreed to go for a drink at the in-house bar with Feyre and the rest but now she wished she was going straight home.

The stage melted away from the dance before hers into Nesta’s scenery as she waited in the wings for her cue. She eyed up the boxes, knowing Rhys had sponsored one for Feyre but didn’t have a clue which one.

The Illyrian dance had a sparse stage, to demonstrate the Illyrian steppes but the painted backdrop was one of Ramiel, the revered Illyrian mountain. Despite the sparsity, the set pulsed with a dry heat; the scent of crackling wood fire and spice filling the air, the sensation of warm winds tickling her skin.

When the music started, she danced on, determined to prove to Illyrian eyes in the audience she would do it justice.

Nesta drew on the same magic which ran in Feyre and Elain’s bones, the same magic Feyre had permanently etched on the surface of her skin. When Nesta leapt, she cast imaginary wings on her back which carried her further forward and higher. When she pirouetted, she was spinning on ice. Her arms were graceful and her legs sharp.

Nesta formed herself into a blade of dance as she undulated her hips and curved her spine. She swore the heat under her skin caused the air to burn around her.

She finished to rapturous applause and resisted eyeing up the boxes again although she wanted to know if any particular hands were clapping.

In the wings Gwyn was waiting and handed her a towel and Nesta realised she was glistening with sweat, droplets highlighting her cleavage.

“Very nice,” Gwyn said, clapping. “A small fire broke out in one of the stalls.”

Before Nesta said anything, Eris walked by with a low whistle. “Great performance, Nesta. I now have a raging boner.”

The women shrieked in disgust and Nesta threw her towel at him. “Animal.”

Eris grinned, “You know it” and his eyes shone as he caught the towel. Nesta made a mental note to ask Elain for more rowan to put around her dressing room door.

Nesta watched the rest of the performances from the wings until curtain close. Usually she never dawdled, always wanting to remove her costume and dress into civilian clothes as quick as possible but tonight she took her time, idly drawing out each minute until she couldn’t avoid her fate forever.

Audience members with children, fae or human often left first, clearing the way for those who wanted to remain behind in the theatre bar. When the fae discovered alcohol a new set of problems arose. Regardless of what species you were, once you were drunk you did stupid things.

The bar was below ground level and took up a vast amount of space. Overstuffed seating was positioned around tables in compartments, each draped with their own set of thick, crimson red curtains with gold tassels. If the occupants wanted privacy, then they had it.

Nesta shimmied past groups; fae, human and mixed, who laughed and clinked their champagne flutes, none recognising her as a dancer they’d watched earlier.

Feyre was likely to have a private booth booked along with the theatre box as Rhys had so much gold he likely melted it down and bathed in it. The last time Nesta met up with Feyre, her little sister had been wearing a diamond encrusted corset top.

Ahead of her stood two figures, both leaning against the open fronted bar and deep in conversation. Cassian and Azriel. No one was able to miss them even if they tried to blend in. Illyrians were known for their size and their wings and not exactly known for their love of ballet.

Almost as though he sensed her arrival, Cassian stopped talking and turned, strands of his black hair falling from his messy bun. Her eyes met his and she felt how she always did whenever they glanced at each other – a little bit anxious, a little bit horny and a little bit excited.

Nesta was worried if she opened her mouth, a thousand butterflies would float upwards from her stomach.

The look on his face, one she couldn’t place, slipped into something familiar as she drew nearer. Cassian smirked at her and followed it up with a slow, obvious glance from head to toe.

“Hello, Nesta.” He drawled his words, husky and deep. His voice was a baritone which always had her itching to dance across his words. Illyrian magic wasn’t the strongest but those who wielded it were.

What Illyrians wielded their magic for was anyone’s guess but if she had to, Nesta would have guessed it was for making panties drop if the turning heads of the crowd and little sighs was any indication.

There had been occasions where she too was driven with the need to show him more skin of hers then he deserved, to beg him to lay her down and cover her body in honey before licking it off with rasps of his tongue.

Must have been magic.

“Cassian,” she said with barely a nod and turned to his companion. “Azriel.”

Azriel nodded back a polite hello while Cassian leant against the bar directly facing her, wearing a grin as sharkish as Gwyn’s. She was like a lamb on the ground being circled by a taloned beast.

“Interesting performance.”

Azriel coughed at Cassian’s words, spluttering on the beer he was drinking and Nesta frowned, heat flooding her cheeks. Was he mocking her?

If he was, she wouldn’t give his smugly handsome self the satisfaction of getting to her and instead she ignored his words asking who else was here and where her sister was.

“Feyre, Rhys, Az and me. Amren came to watch the ballet but didn’t stay for drinks.”

“And where’s my sister and Rhys now?”

Cassian jerked his head over to the direction of the compartments. “They’re having a private ‘conversation’ behind closed curtains.”

Nesta’s face twisted in disgust. Fucking fae. Always fucking.

“Why didn’t Amren stay?”

“She never sticks around after The Nutcracker. Says it’s derogatory and insulting and she only comes to refill her well of rage.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, what was it she said Az? That the performances were brimming with cultural appropriation?”

The heat on Nesta’s cheeks turned into furnace. It wasn’t as though Cassian explicitly referred to Nesta’s performance but his words had to crawled under her skin. Feyre’s fae friends weren’t fans of Nesta’s, not after Rhys had spilled to them everything Feyre had told him.

For a group so ancient, they acted like spoilt human teenagers. Nesta would take the high road and try and find dignity in silence.

The bartender brought out another beer for Azriel and a glass of dark liquor for Cassian. A glass of wine from the Rosehall vineyard was handed to her and she was surprised someone had the foresight to order for her before she arrived, and with her favourite drink.

“Did you not like it then?” Nesta asked after taking a sip, her voice light. Azriel coughed again and this time Cassian shot him a glare, his rough-hewn face growing solemn before sliding into his more casual expression.

“There were some authentic Illyrian steps involved which is impressive. Didn’t realise old Eris had it in him.”

“It wasn’t Eris,” Nesta said, “It was me. I found an Illyrian choreographer in the city and she taught me some steps.”

Cassian’s face stilled for a moment, motionless like stone before letting out a roaring laugh which reverberated around the bar. The lesser fae behind him jumped and splashed his drink on the counter, quivering in fright.

“Well, that explains it!”

Nesta’s flesh prickled, her skin chilling in the overly warm bar. Goodness knows what she’d been dancing. Some dance of self-mockery probably. Her throat was burning and she didn’t understand whether she was upset because she thought Emerie liked her or upset because Cassian had seen.

Nesta’s fingers clenched the stem of the wine glass and she took a gulp of her drink, downing almost half as her hand wavered and her eyes watered. Cassian immediately stopped grinning.

“It was a beautiful dance,” Azriel said from her right and she turned to him, his face serious. “Other performances of The Nutcracker have the Illyrian dance as the violent, hostile war dance. Yours was the best one I’ve seen. Cassian liked it very much.”

Nesta whispered her thanks, looking between the Illyrians standing at either side of her who were now glaring at each other. She was out-flanked next to their bulk and she wished her sister was done doing whatever the hell she was doing so Nesta could say her hellos and goodbyes and get out of there.

“There’s only one Illyrian choreographer in this city,” Cassian said, his voice softer as his fingers trailed around his glass rim. “No other Illyrian would ever bother with this place.”

Nesta looked around the theatre at its gilded gold décor and red curtains but somehow knew Cassian was referring to Velaris as a whole. Illyrians never came to the city to visit, let alone live.

She glanced at him and found his smile was gentler and his hazel eyes, which always bordered on lascivious, were kinder somehow. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to mock her, perhaps he realised his raucous laughter had hurt.

He had no reason to care if he’d hurt her feelings and she shouldn’t have cared either but there had been a sting to his words which sunk deeper than she’d liked. She wasn’t opposed if he wanted to soothe over his words.

But she wasn’t about to let him know that. Instead, she fixed a bored expression onto her face. “Oh,” she said, looking into her glass as she swirled her wine around, “and who would that be?”

Cassian, still leaning against the bar, mirrored her by looking into his own glass before taking a sip.

“A friend of mine from the old country moved here a couple of years ago because her attempt at bringing ballet into the township was less than successful. You know her human name as Emerie.”

Cassian was still leaning against the bar, now looking into his own deep amber coloured liquid before taking a sip.

Nesta’s head snapped up to find Cassian now looking intently at her. “Yes, that’s her.”

“Figured,” Cassian said with a chuckle and took another long sip.

His mood seemed less jovial than before, more pensive and Nesta glanced around to discover Azriel had gone from her side. She looked around the crowds but didn’t see sight of him. How she lost an Illyrian of his stature she didn’t know but when she whipped her head around to the booth Cassian gestured towards earlier, the curtains were still closed.

She didn’t even have it in her to be irritated. The whole night was a wash-out and because of the stupid enchanted horse incident earlier closing streets, she was now adding additional time to her walk home.

“Well, then,” she said. “It’s been a long day and I’m tired; I have another two performances tomorrow and I want to head out and avoid any festive idiots.”

Cassian stood upright, alert and facing her, his glass sloshing the liquid violently as he placed it back onto the bar a little too hard. His wings flexed. “You haven’t seen Feyre yet.”

“If Feyre wanted to catch up with me then she wouldn’t be playing hide the fae penis with her boyfriend right now.” Her tone was sharp and she glared at Cassian. “It doesn’t take much to say a quick hello to your sister.”

Did Nesta care if Cassian thought her rude? Not a fucking bit. Despite Elain living an hour outside the city and Feyre only living on the other side, a journey which took less than a minute travelling by Winnow Express, Feyre was the sister Nesta saw the least.

“If she comes out at any point,” Nesta continued, “tell her I’ll call her.”

It wasn’t a lie when she said she was tired. Two performances a day took it out of her let alone when magic clung in the air at Solmas and let alone the fact that Nesta had used a tiny amount of her own as some kind of performance enhancer.

Whatever energy reserves she had was depleted, the glass of wine making her feel like she’d drank the entire bottle.

Nesta didn’t bother saying goodbye to Cassian, just left her empty glass on the counter and spun around.

Being a ballerina was on her side as she wove through the crowd and up into the foyer which was blissfully empty. Sadly, the world outside the doors was not so much and Nesta took a breath before wrapping herself in her stole.

The statues guarding the entrance waved her a goodbye, one with a human Santa hat adorning its head and the other with a fae garland wrapped around its waist. Nesta rolled her eyes. Human and fae decorations were put on everything so management could say they’d met their Equal Opportunities criteria.

Nesta stepped onto the pavement and looked down the street of the theatre district.

She couldn’t deny Velaris at night was beautiful.

History books stated the first fae who settled in the city were night dwellers and while they were able to survive in the sun, it was under the starlit sky where they thrived. So, the stories went that they made the night spectacular.

The ink black sky was painted with whorls of galaxies and splashed with stars. At first glance everything appeared white but when Nesta looked closer it was clear they were silver and gold and the purest, palest blue.

Feyre had once told her fae eyes saw more colours than humans and the stars were a multitude of colours – the rainbow and beyond. One of Feyre’s tattoos was designed to allow her to see what the fae saw.

The theatre district was still buzzing with humans and fae alike. Because of the nature of the city, it was usual for the streets to be filled until the early hours of the morning and after any performance in the theatre district there was no time for relaxing.

There was always residual magic left over from the ballet. The ballet theatre was the largest of the theatre buildings and so the magic started strongest at the end Nesta now stood before dissipating the further away you walked.

Snowflakes and flowers alike drifted down from the empty, cloudless sky. The Waltz of the Snowflakes and the Waltz of the Flowers often combatted against each other for prominence in their audience’s minds and refused to give in to each even after the show was done.

Thankfully, the Land of the Sweets didn’t involve themselves in this battle. They had done one performance many weeks ago and when chocolate rained from the sky it was delightful. Boiling hot coffee? Not so much.

Nesta navigated her way though the cobbles and crowds as petals landed in her hair and snowflakes melted on her eyelashes. She heaved a sigh of relief when she made it to the end past the gathered individuals who spilled out of the smaller theatres and theatre bars.

She turned left to go into a side street and stopped, almost tripping over her own feet.

Leaning against the wall, silhouetted against the streetlamps and fae lights was the hulking shape of an Illyrian.

“What are you-? How did you-?”

Cassian laughed as he used his elbow to propel himself from the wall and stride towards her. “What am I doing here and how did I get here so fast?”

“Well... yeah.”

“Wings,” he said, jabbing his thumbs in the direction behind him. “They come in useful from time to time. I thought I would fly you home.”

Nesta eyed up the wings behind him, remembering all the news reports of Illyrian Air. “No thank you, I like the walk.”

“Ok, then I’ll walk with you. Make sure you get home safe.”

She frowned. Nesta had lived in this city all her life and despite the occasional fae related incident which was brought on by personal vendetta, unavoidable prophecy from birth or magic spell gone wrong, Velaris was a safe place.  

It also helped that Nesta had that splash of fae blood herself and a glare which froze bones. Literally. There had been an incident with an ex-boyfriend but she’d filed an explanation with the police and it was never brought up again.  

“I’m fine,” she said. “I don’t need babysitting.”

“I know you don’t but I’d still like to walk you. Please.” The last word was said so softly she almost didn’t hear it but she caught the imploration.

Cassian stepped further into the light of a streetlamp, a few pale pink petals falling from his shoulders, desperation in his eyes.

Nesta sighed. “Fine, but I’m on the other side of the Sidra. The quickest route is over Mermaid Bridge.”

Cassian paused for a moment, “Mermaid Bridge? There won’t be any actual mermaids on it right?”

“Not at this time of year, the water’s too cold and they travel south.”

“Thank god, one of my ex’s was a mermaid. They are terrifying.”

Nesta shook her head, not able to imagine a creature of his size being scared of anything. They started walking in companionable silence. The further away from the city centre they strode, the more the crowds thinned.

Some shops remained open, including the café Nesta sat in earlier and groups had gathered around tables to laugh over mugs of frothy hot chocolate which overflowed with cream. Cinnamon, gingerbread, and candy cane scented the air.

As they walked, humans and fae alike paled when they crossed paths with Cassian and many darted out of his way. One lesser fae flattened himself against the red brick wall while another gave a quiet yelp and ran down an alley.

Nesta glanced up at Cassian but either he was pretending he didn’t notice the running onlookers or he didn’t care.

“What do you do?” she asked. She knew nothing about any of Feyre’s friends in any detail. “For that matter what do any of you do?”

Cassian laughed. “Rhys has a lot of inherited wealth, Amren trades precious stones – we think from the old dragon mines, and no one has a clue what Azriel does. I’m a bounty hunter.”

Oh.

“Caught anyone I’d have heard of?”

“Heard of the Tooth Fairy?”

Nesta grimaced, quickly swooping her tongue over her teeth. “Yes.”

“He was one of mine. So was the Bone Carver, the Weaver and Lanthys.”

Nesta’s eyebrows shot up. “Lanthys? The gold miner? What did he do? Wait, I don’t want to know. He asked me out once.”

Cassian glanced over at her; his own eyebrows raised. “Yeah? Did you say yes?”

Nesta pulled a face. “Good grief, no. He kept sending me telepathic dick pics. It’s bad enough being sent dick pics across dating apps.”

They approached Mermaid Bridge, which was, as Nesta said, devoid of the creature it was named for. Lights twinkled on the other side of the city, the residential side where Nesta lived. There were shrieks of delight further up the river in the dark and Nesta wondered if Gwyn was ice-diving next to Viviane’s ice rink.

Cassian coughed. “You’re on dating apps?”

“Not many, I thought I’d give them a go. My sisters are busy, I only have a few friends and I need something other than work in my life.”

“Yeah, I understand. ‘All work and no play’ make Cassian a dull boy too. The play part of life is fun,” he looked at her from the side of his eye and winked.

Nesta felt the blush spread across her cheeks and she willed it down with whatever force she had left. She wasn’t a virgin so she wasn’t about to start blushing like one.

They climbed the steps to the bridge and walked across. Of all the bridges which connected the two halves of the city, this was Gwyn’s favourite. Nesta’s human eyes couldn’t pick out the colours at night but in the day the railings glittered gold and shimmered with turquoise gems.

“Do you date?” The words slipped out before she stopped them. “You mentioned a mermaid ex so....”

Cassian’s laugh was more a breath and he started to smooth down non-existent knots in his hair. “Yes. Well...no. I did but work is busy and I’m sort of interested in someone and I guess until I purge them from my system, I’m not interested in anyone else.”

“How long have you been interested in them?”

“A while.”

“Why don’t you ask them out rather than eradicate them from your options?”

Nesta wanted to slap herself in the face. Or pitch herself off the bridge into the black, ice-cold water. Even as she was speaking, she wanted to not be but it was as though her mouth and mind had fallen out and no longer wanted anything to do with each other.

Cassian shrugged, “I guess. They just never struck me as someone interested in dating fae.”

They came to the end of the bridge and Nesta looked upwards at the sky. On this side of the river without the city lights, the stars were clearer to her eyes, more defined. One shot across the sky.

“You should go for it,” Nesta said, “you might be surprised.”

“Maybe,” Cassian sighed. “She’s kind of intimidating though.”

“You’re over six foot tall with massive wings and can use magic. I’m sure you’re more intimidating.”

“Me? Nah, I’m sure she thinks I’m an oversized bat.”

Nesta cringed. Those had been her words once a couple of years ago when she was first introduced to Feyre’s new friendship group and the Illyrian’s within. She didn’t think they’d heard her say it but then again, fae hearing was something exceptional along with fae sight.

The streets they walked were now quieter, the hustle and bustle of the inner-city gone. The chill settled in easier on this side of the river and Nesta knew she’d wake to frost across her window panes in the morning.

They were silent until they reached her apartment building, halfway up one of the steepest lanes. It was a small four storey which wasn’t spacious or modern but it gave her brilliant view across the river and Velaris and most importantly, it was hers.

“This is me,” she said, stopping outside the steps leading to the red entrance door. “Thank you for walking me back.” It was on the tip of her tongue to invite Cassian in for coffee but she held back.

He smiled, his eyes warm and shining. “Honestly it was my pleasure.” He leant forward, the sheer bulk of him covering Nesta and for a moment she thought he would kiss her but instead he took her slim fingered hand in his larger one and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand.

“Goodnight,” he said, “I hope you have a good Solmas Day when it comes.”

Cassian was no ballet dancer but he sure moved like one, letting go of her hand and swivelling to face the direction they’d walked in from, marching down the slope of her street while Nesta stared at his retreating back.

He was clad in black and would have easily blended into his surroundings if not for the red jewels he wore at his wrists.

Nesta gaped down at the back of her hand, her mouth open. She still felt his lips, warm and soft, on her skin.

“Wait!”

Cassian turned back to face her, tilting his head.

“I’m sorry if my performance in the ballet was offensive.  I know Azriel said it was beautiful and that you liked it but if that was a lie to save my feelings, it’s ok. I went to Emerie because I wanted to make it authentic. I should have left it alone.”

Cassian smiled but it wasn’t mocking. He took a few steps back up the street towards her. “You know I said Emerie was a friend from the old country?”

Nesta nodded.

“She’s a really good friend. I like her a lot. She’s no nonsense with a great heart. I was trying to set her up with Rhys’ cousin Mor and in the process we got talking about dating and relationships and she asked if there was anyone, I was interested in. As it happens, I discovered this evening that she knows the person I was talking about. I’m sure she saw this as her opportunity to do some matchmaking of her own.”

“Oh,” Nesta said, her throat dry.

“Yeah. I also happened to tell her in one conversation I would be watching The Nutcracker this year on account of it being Solmas. So, there you go.”

The butterflies were flittering in Nesta’s stomach again and Cassian’s words were taking shape in her mind and building a story. “The steps Emerie taught me for the Illyrian dance – was that an invitation?”

Cassian’s smile stretched wide and he tilted his head back and laughed, the dark column of his throat shining in the starlight. “Oh yes, a very specific invitation. Emerie must have had the day of her life when she pieced everything together.”

The flittering in her stomach was now pooling in her chest. This type of conversation should have her fleeing up the steps and racing through the foyer until she threw herself into her cold bed to hide under the covers.

Nesta wanted to know what she’d inadvertently done without meaning to. Not that she minded whatever it was she’d done.

“What did I dance then, Cassian?” Her voice was lower than usual and rich like the overflowing cream in the café.

Cassian’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, his hazel eyes were almost black. “The dance you performed half naked on a heated stage was most definitely an invitation, Nesta.” He smiled at her again, soft like before but there was something behind it. Suddenly he was a wolf and she the lamb again. He was all claws and teeth and animal.

A shiver of anticipation ran through her. Her pulse beating in her throat, drawing Cassian’s eye.

“Oh, Nesta,” Cassian said, his voice almost a growl. “You performed an Illyrian dance of seduction.”

[earlgreytea68]

Tagged by @setting-in-a-honeymoon​!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200!

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

Um. 3,328,002

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Six:

Inception in the lead with 67 fics

Sherlock with 56

Fall Out Boy with 36

Doctor Who with 14 (this number is incorrect, I have written waaaaay more than that, they just live on LJ and DW)

and then one each for Sports Night and The Office (UK)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Nature and Nurture

Saving Sherlock Holmes

Working on the Edges

The Radovljica Apicultural Museum

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I get busy or depressed or sick, etc., and I fall behind, but I try to respond, for a number of reasons - they give me so much joy that I want to acknowledge that they have brought my joy; it is so wonderful to see what people to respond to and love and laugh at and cry over, it definitely makes me a better writer, and so I want to acknowledge that, too; and comments when I’m in the middle of posting a fic are especially helpful to me because they often result in me tweaking what’s coming next in response to questions I see people have that indicate I’m not being clear enough, or maybe I’m not hitting the tone I want, etc. And so I like to respond to be like, “Thank you! You have no idea how important and wonderful this is to me!”

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, wow. While I actually think I can write good angst, when I do it I try to have it in the middle of the fic, so that it gets properly resolved to give you a nice, happy ending. I’m sure someone’s going to be like, YOU ARE FORGETTING THIS HEART-WRENCHING THING YOU WROTE, but all I’m coming up with right now is that, in my long Doctor Who ‘verse I wrote, I did a fic in which their family dog died. That was pretty angsty. (omg I just scrolled down to see how I ended this story and OH MY GOD ahahah I forgot that I wrote this after I’d broken up with the Tenth Doctor and so it ends with Brem being like, “Plus, my father is useless so I have to hold the entire family together all the time” hahahaha what an extra-angsty ending, Brem, my love lol)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do sometimes! I feel like most of my crossovers make some amount of sense. Like, okay, maybe you wouldn’t think to cross Inception with Fall Out Boy (this was a special request) but I think the premise of the fic makes total sense. And I once crossed Oliver with Brem, but those were my first two beloved precocious fic songs, so that made some sense, too. And I still think Inception and Sherlock crossed together made SO much more sense than actual seasons of Sherlock lol. So I guess if I had to choose the craziest I would go with the Doctor Who/Gossip Girl crossover I wrote lol. But wait, that one actually also made sense as I wrote it, I think, so I’ll go with the Sherlock/Fall Out Boy crossover because that was just bonkers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I wrote a fic that was really horrible to Mary in “Sherlock.” I hate Mary. I feel like I can say that now. I haaaaaated Mary. But in those days “Sherlock” was an incredibly tense fandom to be part of and if you didn’t say that you loved Mary all the time forever and always then people were like !7@((!*(@(!& at you. I have a million massive warnings in all caps all over the fic, like, DON’T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE MARY, and people still would leave rude comments on it lololol. And then we wonder why I left that fandom lol. (I mean, many people in the fandom were wonderful, and I don’t always have REASONS why I leave fandoms, it’s not like anything is that logical or rational. But it wasn’t a very fun time to be in Sherlock fandom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. My smut almost always has to be advancing some kind of emotional beat in the characters’ relationship. I’m never super-explicit because usually the whole point of the scene to me is what the characters are thinking and feeling, not really what they’re *doing.*

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sometimes my fics show up somewhere without my knowledge. People are really good about letting me know when that happens.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is like asking who my all-time favorite child is.

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have this high school Peterick AU that I started at the beginning of the pandemic. For some reason, when schools shut down, all I could think about was all these bands that wouldn’t get formed because the kids couldn’t go to each other’s houses, like Pete Wentz couldn’t just show up at Patrick Stump’s to hear him play. So I started this story where Pete and Patrick meet right before the pandemic hits, and then everything locks down and they’re stuck Facetiming each other and coming to the realization that their soulmate is on the other side of the screen.

Anyway, I actually think this fic is super-hot?? And I never think I write hot things, but it’s got a hot phone sex scene and I’m really happy with it and I would love to finish the story...except that the pandemic turned out to be...this. And in my head, Idk, I thought there’d be this triumphant moment where everyone would be like, “Yay! We can see each other now!” and Pete and Patrick would reunite, and instead everything petered out into, “Can we see each other now........????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ and I didn’t know what to do with that in my fic, it made it not as neat as I was wanting it to be.

But I hate to lose that hot phone sex scene hahaha. And also after the hot phone sex scene Patrick adds “Hotline Bling” to his and Pete’s shared Spotify playlist they’ve been working on and I’M SORRY, I FOUND THAT SO CHARMING, PATRICK STOLE MY HEART WITH THAT MOVE, anyway, as you can see, I love so much about the fic and I really want to find a way to make it work and maybe someday I will the end.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My dialogue.

Also I think I write the same story over and over (person realizes that they’re deserving of being loved for exactly who they are), but I think I’m REALLY GOOD at that one story lol

Also I like to think that I write family relationship stuff fairly well, like, Idk, I love doing that stuff, whether found family or biological.

Oh, and I think I usually get the ratio of angst::happy ending pretty good (in my view for my personal preference lol).

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don’t think I’m especially good at smut. I’m terrible at paying attention to things like setting, what the characters are wearing, what the characters even look like, etc. As mentioned above, I tell the same story over and over and over, and I’m okay with that, but yeah, I’d be bad at telling a story where people aren’t, like, nice people who you’re rooting for.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think I couldn’t do it, because I don’t speak any other language, but I’m always happy when people translate my fics!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who. Although maybe, like, New Kids on the Block self-insert stuff counts from junior high??? But Doctor Who was first published.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Please see above re: favorite child lol

I tag every writer who wants to do this and I hope every writer does this because I always think these are fascinating!!