#fictive questions and concerns

[fictive-culture]

I hope it's okay to ask, if not then please feel free to ignore this, but do you have any tips on how to ask your therapist for an official diagnosis, and how to open up about (possibly, but most likely) being a fictive? Any help would be appreciated ^^"

posting this so others can help because despite telling several therapists we were plural we have no idea on how to give advice especially with getting a diagnosis

[elmflowers]

A DISCORD SERVER FOR HOMESTUCK FICTIVES, NOT JUST STRIDERS. CONTRARY TO THE TITLE.

Come one, come all, to the brand new Homestuck Fictive Discord server, open to all Homestuck fictives.

This is Dirk Strider (Greenhouse Haunted), and some friends of mine did a lot of hard work to create a Homestuck fictive server for fictives, by fictives.

We have many channels. To discuss source, archive resources, art channels, talking channels, and more. This is ultimately, an effort to connect (or perhaps, reconnect) fictives from our shared(-ish) source, and have a community to rely on. After all, being a kid is lonely and hard. No matter how old you are.

This server is run by Greenhouse Haunted ( @elmflowers ), Flowers Nebula ( @froggy-nebula ), Crittertales ( @crittertalez ), Relaxxing ( @relaxxattack ), and Ferns Comet ( @nonbinarycollector )

If you have any questions, concerns, anything, shoot us a DM. We respond quick most of the time. Unless we're sleeping, in which case you will hear back from us in 5-9 hours.

If you're not a Homestuck fictive, it would be appreciated if you reblog this post so it spreads to Homestuck fictives who would like to join a server like this.

We hope to see you in System Bro and Plural Jeff.

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg <3

Surprising News

Jotun!King!Loki x fem!Æsir!Queen!Reader

Summary: You are suffering from circulation problems since a few weeks, which gets your husband quite concerned. Unbeknowst to either of you, is a sweet surprise waiting to be discovered.

Warnings: fluff, bit angst, protective Loki, some health issues, pregnancy stuff

Word Count: 3,4k

a/n: I'm back, guys! 😁 This oneshot is based on an idea @eleniblue had. I hope y'all like it! I do, 'cause it's definitely not how it 'normally goes'. 😊

P.S I have no idea why I chose that gif. 🥴🫡

Tagging: @lady-rose-moon @huntress-artemiss @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @chennqingg @smolvenger @theaudacitytowrite @alexakeyloveloki @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @eleniblue @evelyn-kingsley @chantsdemarins @vanilla-daydreaming @valencia-rou @loz-3 @simping-for-marvel @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @fictive-sl0th @bunny24sstuff @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @linaax @mochie85 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @glitchquake @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @gruftiela @lulubelle814 @november-rayne @mandywholock1980

(Continuing in the tags :))

Ice Flower Masterlist ❄ Loki Masterlist ❄ Masterlist

It all started a few weeks ago, while taking a stroll through the royal gardens in Asgard, as you visited your family.

Circulation problems.

It wasn't that bad, though. You had felt a bit dizzy, but nothing more; brushing it off and telling yourself that it was caused by the sudden change of temperatures. Sure, it was summer. On Jotunheim as well, but there it was definitely colder than on Asgard. Problem solved - you thought.

But then it came back. Only a few days later, when you were on the way to the city with your husband for the monthly visit of your folk. It came suddenly. It was unpredictable. You swallowed hard; eyes squeezing shut as your hand gripped the fabric of your dress tightly; knuckles turning white.

Loki - who sat opposite you in the open carriage noticed your distress - of course and leaned forward; hand gently touching your hand with a worried look in his eyes. "Is everything alright, flower?" You nodded quickly; not trying to cause your husband to worry further. "Yes, my king. Just a bit dizzy." Loki frowned, but nodded. "Do you wish to return to the palace and do this another day?" Again, you shook your head. "No, no! It's alright. I'm good." "Very well. Your decision, my queen."

The next time it occurred, was on the summer hunt. Sure, you weren't hunting yourself, but you accompanied Loki - like you always did. In your eyes, it was an obligation as the queen to join in on the hunt. So, you did. Unfortunately, the circulation problems got worse... It wasn't just the dizziness which increased. Slight nausea joined the party as well. You shortly had the feeling you were going to faint. Everyone was immediately at your side - with Loki leading the way. Luckily, it subsided after a few minutes, and again you brushed it off.

But Loki really started to worry by now. So, it was no wonder, that he sought talks with you...

A knock on the door ripped you out of the documents you were reading; head snapping up. "Yes?" Ivan - one of your personal guards stepped inside; taking a deep bow. "The king wishes to speak to you, your majesty." You couldn't suppress the smile which instantly darted over your face at the Jotun's words. "Please, let him in." Ivan nodded and stepped aside; letting Loki enter your study. Before your husband went to greet you, he turned to the guard. "Leave. I wish to be alone with my wife." Ivan took another bow, "Of course, my king." and left the room. Almost giddily, you stood up and rounded the big, wooden desk. "Hello, my beautiful, precious flower." You immediately went to hug Loki; arms crossing behind his neck. "Hello, my king." You bit your lip; smiling, before you stood on your tippy toes to kiss him.

"What brings you here, my love?" At your question, Loki's demeanour shifted immediately. A sigh left his lips, and you could swear that you saw worry in his eyes. "We need to talk, darling." Your brows furrowed. "You seem very serious... What is it?" Loki took your hand and led you to the chair. He sat down, pulling you onto his lap and wrapping his strong arms around you. He took a deep breath; deep ruby eyes gazing into yours. "I am worried about you, my love." You blinked, but knew exactly what Loki was talking about. Nevertheless, you tried to cover it up. "Worried? About me? Why?" "Your circulation problems." You just wanted to open your mouth to speak, when Loki cut you off. "No, no, please... Don't deny it. I saw. I noticed. Flower, please... Go to the healers and get this checked. I need to know that the love of my life is alright."

You sighed; "Loki... I am alright. It's nothing. Just a few stress symptoms." brushing it off once again. But Loki wasn't very convinced. "I am not so sure of this, Y/N. You should really go to-" You interrupted your husband; shushing him with a kiss on the lips. "I am fine. Stop worrying."

At that moment in time, you had no idea, that you were going to eat your words only a week later...

"My king, I don't know if we can trust this convention. Something about all this seem off to me." One of Loki's advisors spoke up; scratching his beardy chin. The king of Jotunheim was in the middle of an important converging with his royal advisors. "And what is it you are suggesting?" He asked; crossing his bulging arms over his chest. "I suggest that your majesty-" The advisor didn't come any further; got interrupted by a guard, who just barged inside the room. It was Ivan.

Loki hated it, when somebody did that and was about to chide the man, when he spoke up quickly. "My king! I apologise for the harsh interruption, but..." The Jotun panted; trying to catch his breath. "...but it's urgent! An emergency! The queen, she... She almost had a circulatory collapse!"

The words had merely left Ivan's lips, when Loki immediately jumped up from his seat. Adrenaline shot through his body, causing his heart to fall over the cliff and beat as fast as if it had a race to win. "She what?!" The guard just nodded frantically; unable to form any words at the king's 'outburst'. "When?! Where?!" "I-In the gardens, your majesty. A few minutes ago. I-I was with her and brought her immediately to the healers." Loki gave the guard a last look, before he stormed past him; literally running towards the medical wing of the palace. Anxiety started to flood the king's system; infecting his body like poison. He had told you. He had warned you; had begged you to seek out the healers, but no, you didn't want to listen - and now you seemingly paid the price. A price Loki wasn't willing for you to pay. He couldn't lose you. Not today, not now. Every possible worst-case scenario played out in his head on the way to the healers.

To his surprise, he was already expected...

One of the friendly, Jotun female healers waited patiently in front of the big, wooden doors; hands clasped together in front of her body. "My king." She started and curtsied. "We thought you would come here as fast as possible." Loki didn't beat about the bush, of course.

"I want to see my wife! I demand to know what is wrong!" He was quickly losing his patience; his temper taking over. After all, this was about Y/N... About his lover's health and safety!

The healer gave him a short, soft smile. "She's well and asleep now. Please, your majesty, I can assure you that she is perfectly healthy." Loki blinked; totally confused. "But... Where are those circulatory problems coming from?! There must be something wrong!" "We should sit down and have a chat, my king." The healer answered calmly; gesturing towards one of the smaller treatment rooms. "Please, follow me." She started to walk towards the room - away from you, and Loki had no other choice than to follow. He wanted to know what was going on - and that was seemingly his only option.

Still walking the lines between confusion and scepticism, the king sat down on the chair. The healer closed the door behind herself and joined him; sitting down opposite of him. Nobody could hear what she told Loki then. He was the only witness of her words.

"What?!" Loki choked out; eyes widening. He couldn't believe what his ears had just heard. For the second time within minutes, he felt completely overwhelmed, like one of the biggest stones just had hit him. "Are... Are you certain of this, milady?" The elderly lady nodded. "We are, my king. We checked. Twice." An audible gasp left his lips, as his brain tried to fully process the information. "Does she know? Does my wife know?" She shook her head. "No. We didn't quite have the chance to talk to the queen, as she passed out in exhaustion as soon as we regulated and stabilised her circulatory." The king nodded. "I wish to tell her." "Of course, your highness."

"I... I need a moment now." The healer smiled. "Of course, my king." Loki had a hard time to not show his emotions so openly; needing to suppress some tears. "Am I allowed to see my wife?" "Whenever you wish, your majesty." With those words the woman left the room, leaving Loki alone. The king ran his hands over his face and through his thick, luscious locks, before he took a few deep breaths of relief and happiness; even letting some tears fall down his cheeks. He had definitely needed the small moment for himself - but then he couldn't wait to see you. 

Gently closing the door - not to wake you - Loki stepped inside the big, cosy, but medically looking room. With his eyes not leaving your frame, he walked over to you and sat down on the chair beside the bed. A smile grazed his lips as he watched you sleep so peacefully.

Loki would wait by your side, until you woke up again. He had no intention to wake you. So, that's what he did... Waiting.

The king had no idea how long he waited. Perhaps only half an hour; perhaps three hours. He didn't know; lost the feeling for time.

A soft, sweet groan left your lips, before you furrowed your eyebrows for a moment; eyes fluttering open. Loki reacted immediately; greeting you with his deep, gentle voice. "Hello, my darling flower. Did you sleep well?" You blinked a few times; head turning to face your husband. "Loki?" He nodded. "I'm here, my love, I am here." One of his big, cerulean hands went to cup your face; thumb gently stroking the skin of your right cheek. You leaned in his touch, of course; feeling warmth spreading throughout your body.

"Why am I here? What happened?" You asked; slightly confused why you were in the medical wing. "You almost had a circulatory collapse. In the gardens. Ivan brought you here and alarmed me. I came as fast as possible, but the healers told me you were asleep." You swallowed hard. You could remember that you had been, indeed, in the gardens, but then everything got blurry. "Oh norns..." "I was quite worried - and I told you to seek out the healers, but you just didn't want to listen..." You squeezed your eyes shut; feelings of guilt over rolling you. "I-I know that now. I'm so sorry, my love, I-" "Shhh..." Loki shushed you on an instant. "It's okay now, flower. You are going to be just fine. Everything is alright."

Now you were slightly confused. After all, something had to be wrong... But not just at your husband's words. About the fact that he had tears in his eyes. Happy tears?

And Loki? Loki saw the confusion reflecting on your face, but he just wasn't able to hold back his emotions.

Letting out a shaky breath, he lunged forward and showered you with countless kisses on your lips - which managed to confuse you even more. What by Odin's beard was going on here?

Between some moments, where his lips weren't locked with yours, you were able to take a few breaths and literally pant out: "L-Loki, what... What is going on h-here? I'd like to have an e-explanation."

Your husband smiled brightly from ear to ear and took your hand lovingly in his bigger ones. "My love, you... You are with child."

You blinked; needed a moment to process the information, but then your eyes widened; jaw dropping. "W-What? I... WHAT?!" Loki just nodded; softly squeezing your hand. "I-I am pregnant?!" A small laugh escaped the king's lips. "Yes, flower, you are. The healers told me. They checked. Twice." You blinked again. This was a little overwhelming for you at the moment. "A-And my circulation problems are-" "A side effect." Loki finished the sentence for you. You swallowed. "Wow, um, I... This is..." Your husband's cheerful expression fell; smile vanishing. "Are you not happy about this, my queen? Didn't you - we, wish for this to happen?" When you saw the troubled look in his eyes, you quickly lifted your free hand to cup his cheek. "No, no, my love! I am happy about it! I truly am!" You tried to reassure him. "It's just a bit overwhelming at the moment. You know, normally it's the woman's job to break such news to her man and not the other way round... I absolutely wasn't prepared for this." Loki nodded; smile returning slowly. "I see - and I understand. I am sorry. Perhaps I just should've let you rest first and tell you tomorrow, but I was just too excited. I wasn't able to control my emotions. Apologies, flower." You shook your head. "No, Loki... Do not apologise for that. Ever. It makes my heart beat so much faster, to see that you are so excited to become a father."

Loki's bright smile had returned. "Oh, I am so excited, my darling. So very much..." He leaned forward to press a lingering kiss on your forehead.

Loki hadn't left your bedside that evening; completely abandoning all his royal tasks and telling several guards and advisors, that he'd not be available in the next hours. Loki wanted to stay by your side - after all, you almost collapsed today... And he wanted to enjoy this happy, intimate moment with you. Only you.

Now he was laying in bed with you, after the healers had checked on you once again. His arms wrapped around your middle securely; keeping you pinned against his chest.

"I still can't quite believe this..." You mumbled; softly shaking your head. "A child, Loki..." The king's chest vibrated with a hum, "Me neither, flower." before he pressed a small kiss on the exposed skin of your neck. "You know what that means from now on, yes?" Your husband continued. "Umm..." "No more hard work for you, love. No stressful royal duties, no hunting, no long travels. None of it. Especially now. The healers said your body needs more rest." You wriggled around; turned in his embrace to face him. "But, my king, I-" "No, no, no." Loki cut you off immediately. "You are growing our child. That's already hard work enough." "Okay, okay, I understand that, but... Aren't you a tad bit overprotective now, my love?" You placed one hand on his strong pecs; right where his heart beat for you.

The king just shrugged his shoulders and started to gently stroke the clothed skin on your lower back with his thumbs. "Perhaps. But I can't help myself. It's in my nature; my genes; my instinct. I must protect my woman and growing offspring - at all costs."

Your mouth literally fell shut after these stern, but loving words; knowing that you had no chance in arguing with him anymore. His point stood. Despite that, what were you supposed to do against his DNA? So, instead you opted for a slight change of subject...

"We need to tell my father... And brother." Your husband nodded. "I know, yes. We should - but not now. We're not telling anyone right now. It's so fresh and vulnerable... This is our moment. Nobody else's. We should give it some time." "Yes," you agreed; knowing that Loki was right. "We should."

Three months later, it was time for you and Loki to tell the whole palace and kingdom. Thor and Odin knew it already. They've been told by you and your husband a month back. During those three months, you hid your growing baby bump as best as you could. Sure, it was unavoidable that a few guards and maids figured it out, but those who did had been bound to secrecy.

Like in almost every realm and kingdom was a pregnancy reveal quite a big event. That was the reason, why countless Jotuns gathered in the big courtyard of the palace and waited excitedly, but also anxiously for their king and queen to step out on the big, majestic balcony, in order to tell them why they got invited here. Nobody knew. Nobody had a single clue.

"Are you ready, my queen?" Loki asked you, as he came to stand beside you in front of the green flapping curtains, which led out on the balcony. You took a deep breath and nodded. It wasn't like you already stood quite often on this balcony for various reasons, but this... This was bigger... Different.

"I think I am, yes. I won't be able to hide those two much longer anyways." You placed one hand underneath your steadily growing bump; hosting your twins. Loki smiled softly; "That may be true, yes." cupped your hand and pressed a kiss against your temple. "I am by your side, my flower. Always have been; always will be. This is something good and I am happy to finally share this with our folk." You couldn't help but smile as well; heart fluttering. "Me too, my king, me too." Loki gave you another nod, then took your hand in his; fingers intertwining. "Let's do this." Together you stepped past the curtains, which got held open by two guards, and onto the balcony.

Silence spread over the courtyard on an instant, when the Jotuns saw the both of you appear. They went down on one knee or took a deep bow; showing their king and queen the utmost respect.

"Arise!" Loki started to speak; lifting his arms. Everyone raised to their feet again; all eyes directed on you and your husband. "I thank you all for your appearance." You were glad that Loki did the talking. He was by far better at that. A born king. "Now, you all might wonder why we - the queen and I ordered you all to stand before your rulers today."

Immediate whispers broke out within the crowd and everybody seemed a little... tense and afraid. You could feel it - and so could Loki. "Don't fret, my loyal folk. I can assure you, that the reason why we are all standing here today is purely good." And again the whispers picked up, but this time you could see quite relieved and happy faces. The built-up tension left the Jotuns.

You felt how Loki reached for your hand again; trying to help calm your nerves down a bit.

"My wife, the queen and I..." He spoke up once more, and you knew that the moment had arrived. This was it. Giving his hand a squeeze, you told him that you were ready. Nervous, but ready. Until now, the Jotuns were still unaware, since you wore a wide gown, which hid your quite pregnant belly. Nothing uncommon for you. Sure, it was summer, but for you, it was early spring.

Loki gave you an encouraging nod, alongside a smile and helped you to get rid of the gown - and the 'façade' to drop. Your belly was for everybody visible now, causing a murmur to go through the crowd. Everybody stared at you surprised, shocked; jaw slacking.

"We are expecting offspring!" Your husband announced then cheerfully; placing a hand on your baby bump. "The lineage of our family continues!" His words caused the dam to break and the realisation hitting your people full force. Suddenly, they broke out in loud cheers and claps. There were smiles everywhere; alongside some chants saying things like: 'All hail the king and queen!' or 'Long live king Loki and queen Y/N!' It was a firework of emotions - not just for them.

You and Loki bathed in the positive reactions from all of your people for several moments, until he lifted his hands again, in order to shush them - which worked immediately. The power this man has over the crowd, you thought. Everyone is so devoted to him.

"But with that not enough..." He continued his little speech; dropping the next bombshell. "My wife is going to give birth in a few months... to twins!" This caused even louder claps and cheers to emit from the Jotuns; and a shiver to run down your spine. It was so intense. You felt so much love, sympathy and support radiating from everyone who was standing to your and Loki's feet. You felt accepted. It was overwhelming. Incredible.

You couldn't help but smile and wave, all the while leaning over to kiss your husband; showing some 'public' affection.

[abadbutsadcollective]

Questioning: Future Life? Kintype? Hearttype? Or Something Else?

Ok, weird new experience for me time. Hoping to get some feedback but also get my experience out there. No one in my system has ever felt this before, so I'm doing what we always do and writing about it. Gonna put this under a cut because it's long, but feel free as ever to read and give input.

Point is: do you ever feel like a character would have you as their kintype?

This character, Hawks from MHA for your information, is very very similar to me. Bird guy with red feathers, his backstory if you twist it lines up eerily well with Hunters (from The Owl House, the guy I'm a fictive of), his general outlook in a lot of ways matches up with me. But I'm not him.

Honestly it's like looking into a funhouse mirror. The reflection is similar to you, but definitely to the left, and if you saw that thing walking down the street you wouldn't call it you. Just something that looks like you. Something that was you, but got changed somehow, even if it still holds the pieces of what you were.

This would be all fine and good, no problems--he's just not something I identify as even though he's similar, right? Simple, problem solved! But the actual problem is... I feel closely intertwined with him to the point where I feel like he should have a me kintype. Instead of a sense of "I have experience of being this man and see myself as him", I feel like he would have experience being me, and that if anything he'd literally have me as a kintype.

Obviously this guy is a fictional character and can't have kintypes unless the source creators wrote it in there. So this isn't even about the source material itself, this is... A distinct feeling. Different to "haha he's like me, he'd probably have me as a kintype" too--it's deeper. It's not a joke or a fandom thing.

I've seen people talk about future lives around--rarely, but I've seen it. Never in-depth aside from "a life you believe you'll have in the future", so we never really learned about what it's like to have an identity that stems from that. I feel like maybe this could be related? It seems to fit the feelings well enough, I'm just not sure how that would work in a logical way. Not that it needs to be flawless in its logic--but I do prefer to have a satisfying explanation for things that concern me.

Hell, is it a parallel life maybe? We've seen more on those. It'd be confusing if Hawks-me in whatever other timeline had a me kintype and I didn't have him as one--though I guess it could work regardless? Maybe? Haven't got anything else pointing toward that explanation yet though--once again it's something I'm not entirely familiar with.

Could it be a hearttype? Never heard them described in this way, though. We've seen "this is like family to me"--not what I experience. I don't know him. We've seen "I should be this"--also not true. I should be me because that's who I am right now, I don't think I "should have" been Hawks. It just doesn't seem to fit, though in a pinch I guess I could describe it as one for a quick explanation?

In the end I could always go with vaguetype and call it a day. But I still don't think that's direct enough of a term--it's not vague, it's a distinct feeling that doesn't have a name. It's unclear on what this is, sure, but only because it doesn't have a name or explanation.

Not that I really need to put a name to it, but this isn't something we've heard of before. I'd like answers, or at least to put this out and maybe have some form of solidarity with someone over it--whether that be now, or a year or two in the future when someone else finds this and goes "wow, just like me!".

I'll keep thinking on it, I just needed to get this all down somewhere.

[boulet-universe]

Le Cirque des Rêves ouvre ses portes.

À l’attention des rêveurs, et des quelques curieux qui passent par ici. Le Cirque des Rêves s’apprête à rouvrir ses portes. À compter du 1er mai, nos allées accueilleront à nouveau les pas hésitants (ou impatients?) des visiteurs. Le Cirque s’installe désormais pour une durée indéterminée aux abords de Hyunsan. Aucune date de départ n'est encore prévue, après tout : une enquête est encore en cours. Celle-ci concerne le départ tragique et soudain de feu notre propriétaire, Monsieur Alexander Moon, dont l’ombre veille encore sur le chapiteau principal. À ce titre, l’ouverture restera partielle dans un premier temps. Les chapiteaux secondaires, et tous leurs stands, vous seront à nouveau accessibles. Mais le Chapiteau Principal, quant à lui, conservera ses rideaux clos. Aucune représentation n’y sera donnée. Le rôle de présentateur reste à pourvoir, et tant qu’aucune voix ne sera là pour appeler le rêve à entrer en scène et continuer l'héritage de Monsieur Moon, la scène restera silencieuse. Nous vous remercions pour votre patience, vos silences respectueux, et vos regards encore tournés vers les étoiles. À très vite, rêveurs. Le Cirque des Rêves.

✨ Après deux semaines de pré-ouverture, le Cirque des Rêves ouvre ses portes au grand public ! 🎪

Fortement inspiré du livre éponyme d'Erin Morgenstern, nous vous invitons à plonger dans un univers où la magie du Cirque des Rêves vient bousculer le quotidien des habitants des villes où il se pose.

Le forum se situe dans notre timeline (soit : Mai 2025), en Corée du Sud, au sein d'une ville fictive : Hyunsan.

🎪 Ici, pas de pression. On mise sur l’amusement, la liberté d’écriture et la bienveillance avant tout ! ➡️ 1 RP par mois, sans minimum de mots. ➡️ Un système de "vies" pour ne pas se retrouver sous la pression et face à un danger de suppression instantannée (se forcer à rp pour se sauver les fesses, c'est jamais agréable). Pour plus d'informations : Système d'Activité.

🎭 Une légère intrigue flotte dans l’air, autour de la disparition du propriétaire du Cirque.

🌍 Faceclaims de toutes origines bienvenus. Le Cirque voyage dans le monde entier, il est donc tout à fait normal d'y retrouver des personnes venant des quatre coins du monde, malgré sa création et une forte présence en Corée du Sud et Asie.

💬 Pas de discord. Une chatbox est disponible sur le forum, et le staff est tout à fait disponible par MP en cas de question ! (Cela n'empêche pas, cela dit, de demander le discord des uns et des autres !)

🌟 Concernant les divers dons magiques disponibles. Ces derniers sont limités et définis. Vous ne pourrez pas venir avec votre propre idée de don, car il s'agit d'une liste fermée, disponible juste ici : Grimoire des Dons. 🖤 Il est important de bien comprendre l'univers qui entoure le Cirque, et nous vous invitons à faire un tour sur l'entièreté des annexes disponibles sur le forum : Annexes. 🎟️ Les inscriptions sont officiellement ouvertes, alors n'hésitez pas à nous rejoindre ! >>> Le Cirque des Rêves <<<

[interstellarsystem]

Hello, I just want some input from someone whose actually plural because I don't know what's going on with me.

I have adhd and autism and hyperfixated two months ago on a character. It was a very difficult time for me and he sort of manifested in my mind. At the time I can see how I needed him, because my orientation was getting skewed but I am better now. A lot better but. He's still there.

I cannot really tell how sentient he really is but he does things on his own occasionally. I don't know how much of what he's saying is my own thoughts but repackaged, I cannot tell. I do dissociate but I never really had signs of DID.

Can I have any input on what could be going on here? I have no idea how to find good resources on plurality, I don't know anything about plurality and feel a bit lost.

Plurality doesn't necessarily have to be DID--but if you're concerned, talking to a professional about the possibility of dissociative disorders might be your best bet.

As for the general question... Honestly, hyperfixating on a character is a pretty common reason to gain a fictive! We've done it plenty of times, even before being aware of our own plurality. There's plenty of reasons and explanations for how it can happen, but really those are for you to decide your opinion on at your own pace.

And in the end.. Sometimes you're not plural because you "need" your headmates. You just are. Even if you don't "need" him anymore, he might stick around for a long while simply because he just.. Exists now!

It might be tricky to manage going forward, but I recommend trying to establish communication with him--by talking in your head, leaving notes, journalling--any method would be good. If he is going to be sharing your body for any period of time, it'd be in the best interest of the both of you to figure out any compromises or decisions you need to make together. Does he have any interests he wants to tell you about? Does he want to do any activities that something is preventing him from while fronting? Is he confused about anything? Does he want to have fronting time? Talking back and forth about what the two of you want is honestly the number 1 way (in our opinion) to live happily as plural while you are and to have less chance of internal issues arising. You might not be more than one forever, but while you are, it'd be good to make it safe and comfortable for both of you.

Some further reading:

For an incredibly basic rundown, we tend to recommend MoreThanOne. It's generally an easy to understand resource with some nice general info on the subject, if it's something you're new to.

The Dragonheart Collective's Primer to Plurality is a good guide to check out. There's other guides and links within that document that can help you with questioning, terms, and other stuff.

If you need anything else specific, feel free to let us know. Best of luck to you!

[ratinacoat]

Why are you anti-endo? (genuine question to know your opinion, I don't know if you've already talked about this)

I have a couple reasons for being anti endo but here are my main ones.

First, I believe people have the right to their own personal spiritual beliefs. If seeing yourself as one person, multiple souls, entities, spirits, ect makes you happy then you can do that. What I don't like about it is how that belief is treated like a fact. Spiritual beliefs like that are not prove, they're just a belief. Anyone trying to prove it's more than a belief are the same as Christians doing it.

"There are plural people all over the world" - "Christianity is the most popular religion" "There's people sharing their experiences all the time" - "Many people have their prayers answered" "Professionals believe in non-disorders plurality" - "[Insert scientist] was a Christian"

Spiritual plurality is not a proven thing. It does not belong in system spaces. People need to stop forcing it on everyone. I do not care about your religion/spirituality, and spiritual endos can't seem to grasp that.

Second, the endo community is fucked. Many people in it don't realize they were manipulated into thinking they're "plural" or they're getting worse in the communities.

The endo community is quite notorious for it's radical acceptance and validation of anyone and anything when it comes to DID/plurality. Even things that logically have nothing to do with those things. You'll hear that your internal monologue taking the voice/characteristics of a character you like is a fictive, zoning out is switching, age regression is switching, hearing things is your alters talking to you, ect. Along with these things you'll also hear that ignoring the fact this is "alters" is bad, discriminating against the alters, invalidating others, and invalidating yourself.

If you begin to doubt or question your "plurality" you will be bombarded with people validating you and telling you that no matter what you say, you are absolutely a system. Some will even tell you to "fake it till you make it" (their words, not mine) which is a very harmful mindset to have. When you force yourself to believe something, you're going to end up believing it. Even if it's not true. You can convince yourself you're sick and start experiencing symptoms even if they aren't really there. Similar to a placebo effect. They discourage real recovery by doing this. By telling you everything you experience is plurality, you're bein told that you don't need to seek help for your concerns. If you do seek help, they'll attack you and shame you for trusting psychologists and wanting to "get rid of your headmates."

The community will do everything in their power to make you stay with them and to make sure you believe that you are plural. It is a toxic community no matter how accepting it appears. Sometimes too much validation is a bad thing, and this is an example of that.

For my endo stalkers:

I don't care if not all endos are like this. I don't care if you don't personally act like this. I don't care if professionals share your spiritual belief. It has nothing to do with systems and I don't have to believe in it. I am not spiritual or religious. I will not change my opinion on this unless met with actual evidence it is real.

[ask-ginger-chara]

Introductions are in order.

So I may or may not have just realized that in my original 'Ask Box is Open' post, I didn't actually give any information about myself. Let's rectify that. Greetings! (again, I couldn't resist) My name is Chara! I'm a fictive, or introject, of the Character(ha) from Undertale by the same name. I'm 22, like my Host, and go by any pronouns, primarily they/them. I'm not picky though, so you may refer to me however you please. Also yes, I am indeed a ginger, hence the name of this blog! I enjoy reading (primarily fantasy, urban fantasy, mystery, and horror), I, naturally, like chocolate (though I do have a preference for 70% pure cacao chocolate, or just regular dark chocolate if it's on hand), I have a passing interest in science (primarily physics and quantum mechanics, though I don't know as much as I wish), and I've been known to go drinking and/or smoking(weed, not cigarettes) with my friends (I'm partial to whiskey, personally, though bourbon isnt bad. Beer is god awful, at least in the US. Rum is good too.). Some fandoms I'm a part of are Owl House, Undertale (who would have guessed?), Good Omens, Supernatural, Gravity Falls, Life is Strange and Doctor Who, just to name a few. As far as dislikes, I hate anything overly sweet (yes that includes overly-sweet chocolate, I can see the questions from a mile away), I despise people who are intentionally stupid or ignorant (ex. a boomer who still doesn't know how a computer works. It's 2024. Figure it out, Sharon.), and I'm an 'eat the rich' sort of person, if you get my meaning. My political alignment is None Of Your Business and as far as religion, you could say I'm on the fence. Or, more accurately, I'm not super concerned about it. Whatever happens after I die is whatever happens, I'll just enjoy my life as best I can, thank you.

I also tend to ramble a bit, and go off on tangents, but I'll try not to do that when answering questions. Again, ask box is open, feel free to ask away!

[ink-casket]

Hi uh, we saw dandys world on your source list so uh.. could we perhaps request like.. a dandy fictive??

sorry if this is worded weirdly! (Or if it make you uncomfortable!!! ^^)

Requested pack ᯓ★

Dandy

// keep in mind headmates may not form exactly like the pack! //

Names: Dandy, Dandi, Dancifur, Aster, Astren, Fern

Titles: (Prn) who is the Main Character, The Shop Owner, The Rainbow Bloomer, (Prn) who Helps Others

Source: Dandys world

Age: 18-23

Pronouns: He/him, Hy/hym, Rainbow/Rainbows, Flower/Flowers, Plant/Plants, Tape/Tapes, Buy/Buys, Sell/Sells, 80/80’s, Vintage/Vintages, VHS/VHS’s, 🌱/🌱s, 📞/📞s, 📹/📹s, 📽️/📽️s, 🎞️/🎞️s, 📺/📺s

Genders: 📼emojic, Reliclexic, Flowergender, SolAstraFlowic, TVgender, Ichorgender, Rainbowstar, Chalkraindoodlic, VHShoarder, Sillyfag, Youareanidiotvirusic, Zipfileboy, Trapped_In_A_ComputerGender, VideoGAnatomic, Sodapoplexic, Willoboy, Keihiron

Sexualities: Straight queer

Roles: Nummica, Promisekeeper, Talker, Dvalen, Eleutherian

Likes: Money/Tapes, Reality checking people, Stealing things, Gameplays, Playing his source/game, Making storyboards + animations, Eminem (Houdini specifically,) Telling people they’re wrong, Reminding people of old memories

Dislikes: Getting reality checked, Wrinkled cash, Game ripoffs, Glisten and Shelly from hys source, Sweet things, Sour things, Working for other people, Getting told to do something

Extra appearances: Big and sharp rainbow petals, Dark and wide purple eyes, Wide smile, Green paws on feet and hands, Short limbs, Long and fluffy grass tail, Grass Antennas, Long green whiskers, Sharp fangs, Green trenchcoat with black baggy pants, White buttoned up shirt

Extra info: Persa-Egotistical, Unnerving Adjective, Likes to make people REALLY pissed off and then ignore them, Likes to watch store gameplays (like VR gameplays or whatever), Enjoys spicy foods, Usually keeps track of money or stuff the system spends (if the system in question can), Likes buying stuff for his own amusement, Likes meeting other Dandys and likes to exchange information with them, Likes to lay back and not help if it doesn’t concern him

Faceclaims:

[ 1, 2 ]

WOOOOOOO, so many packs we have to do… so many… (aka 15) Hope it’s to your liking, anon!! :)

[fictive-culture]

(genuine question and kinda a rant)

how do other systems/fictives feel about doubles?

We're getting doubles and one of our sysfriend's has several alters that are super aggressive about it.

I avoided telling them who i was and tried to just..,talk about other stuff but he kept pushing it, going so far as to call me. When he threatened to block us I told him and he immediately hung up, and his "me" fronted and started going on about how this was "bullshit." i just ignored him but like

Not like i wanted to be here -_-

is this a normal thing? bc all of us fictives here are pretty passive about it. like yeah we share a name and face and similarities but we're not clones, yknow?

I dont get the deal...

Not to be dramatic but you should block them because what the fuck

1) Even if you are uncomfortable with doubles that doesn't give you the right to be shitty towards them and this man whole ass fronted to be an ass when he could have easily just avoided you

2) Introjects, don't owe you their source, they don't have to tell you shit and forcing them to tell you stuff they don't want to is disgusting behavior especially threatening to block you over it

To answer your question we personally don't care about doubles and 80% of the time we wanna kiss them

hi! this is the wife. well, a headmate of the wife. i want to give my own perspective as a headmate who did have pretty severe issues with doubles. to the point of feeling violent. never once did i make that their problem. you're right. they didn't choose to be here anymore than i did. when Spade got their own introject of me, i was severely uncomfortable, as i said, i had VIOLENT thoughts about doubles. my interactions with that introject were either minimal or pleasant enough. it wasn't his fault he was here nor that i was like that. i have since healed, and even changed gender a few times (fuck yeah trans people), and now i have no issues at all. it isn't your responsibility to regulate their emotions. its theirs. you definitely should disengage or even block them and drop contact. they arent a healthy person to be around. -Callisto

[elmflowers]

Hello! Are you a fictive (introject from a fictional media) from famous and well known game Genshin Impact, and are looking for a community to talk to other fictives from Genshin?

May I present: Teyvat Online!

Teyvat Online is a Discord server made by fictives for fictives! We have many channels to discuss source, archive resources, art channels, talking channels, and more! This is ultimately an effort to connect (or perhaps, reconnect) fictives from our shared(-ish) source, and have a community to rely on when the loneliness gets a little too unbearable!

This server is moderated by me, Kaeya Alberich (from Greenhouse Haunted), Flowchi Elmflowers (host of Greenhouse Haunted), and our good friend M (our maintenance man).

If you have any questions, concerns, anything, shoot us a DM! We are more than happy to help!

If you are not a Genshin fictive, we would appreciate it deeply if you would reblog and spread this, so fictives who are looking for a community may find one!

[maryland-officially]

Clarification on things about our system related to our gimmick that may concern you

How does our gimmick affect our system/system affect our gimmick?

Sometimes alters split while we're RPing, and they're either introjects or affected by the fact that they were created by/while we were roleplaying.

Sometimes things are inconsistent because of the Jian/RGB memory barrier, also.

Who is Maril?

Maril is an alter human alter in our system. Xey are a cat, but they have a human-ish form. They formed while we were doing RP, and they are specifically from cat Maryland.

Although they have inherited the name Maril from Maril-ind, the pronounciation of Maryland, they are not a fictive/introject of the state of Maryland.

They split around the time where I made a post where they said something like "What if I actually like going by Maril instead of Mary, huh? What about that?"

No, they are not affected by any of the Carcinos or Ohio lore.

They are more affected by Dan, though.

They are, a majority of the time, cat regressed.

The "Maryland Alter" that we've mentioned a few times

This one is actually a fictive, formed from RP.

You can stop holding your breath (/j): they're aromantic. We made references to Ohio in their intro post so that people would realize it was from RP and not just an introject for the state of Maryland,,, in case anyone on systemscringe ever found our account,,,, ....but they're completely unrelated.

Xe're sort of a fragment (?), and front infrequently.

They hold very strong to platonic/familial bonds, but uh. aroace. so. a bit romance + sex repulsed, actually.

they mainly front and worry about parental figures and things of the like

If you've ever been worried to mention Ohioland lore + stuff bc we are plural and have introjects ig, our fictives are so very very VERY far from source that it's hard to find similarities 😭

We will update this with any more questions about how gimmicking and plurality affect each other (for us)!

[dearest-departed]

is it too late for an introduction?

i’ve been putting this off for far too long at this point- the whole… introductory..? it just feels like i’m at an AA meeting.

“Hi, i’m Andrew, and i’m an ex murderer”.

“hi andrew!” you all say unilaterally- speaking from the collective mouth hanging off the side of the mangled mess of carrion that your choir of consciousnesses used to possess. (wow, talk about a run-on sentence.)

hi, i’m andrew, not andy— andrew. can i just describe myself as a real person living a real life instead of making this feel like a wikipedia biography? jesus christ

i am a fictive..

this isn’t any of that roleplay shit. and DEFINITELY not one of those fantasy profiles going into EXCRUCIATINGLY disgusting detail about the unsavory things i “want” to do with my sister. there’s no room for that here.

speaking of the devil… my ashley has her very own tumblr! that’s where you’d want to go to fulfill your fantasies that go into excruciatingly disgusting detail. just kidding of course. i hope.

enough of that, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for! some uninteresting and rather snooze worthy facts about the man behind the curtain.

i’m a hater number one

number two i’m a hater

i love the magnus archives (DONT talk to me about it i am NOT caught up)

i don’t listen to music, but when i do, i’m most likely leaning in the direction of alex g and radiohead. (yawn. what else did you expect.)

i love literature- reading, writing, gawking at- the works. (again. what else did you expect.)

that’s all there is to my character. i’m a living, breathing punching bag with the qualities and characteristics of one. but hey, reader- if there’s anything you can walk away with after meeting me today, it’s the knowledge that you’ve become acquainted with your very first sentient sack of .. grain, or fabric, or whatever the hell they put inside those things. you’re welcome.

asks? yes sir!

i love to talk, did you know this? so my asks are open to all those curious enough to dig at my wounds.

what else haven’t i covered? oh, i’m bodily 22 (no change there) and my blog is strictly 18+ (as you can see in my blogs description.)

i myself am open to questions, concerns, death threats.. so whatever floats your boat, whatever pleases the dancing monkey clapping its cymbals around in your brain- burden my threshold, or whatever.

until then, you’ll hear from me sparingly.

Goodbye.

[sophieinwonderland]

Genuine question.

So there's no way to tell if someone's faking being a system, and if they are, they need help regardless so they can be treated, regardless that treatment and help isn't online but with a medical health professional.

All correct!

But besides the really dumb "u have too many fictives 🙄" or "you're not miserable everyday???/you're miserable everyday????", what are genuine not plural related red flags that someone isn't being honest about plurality? Is it blatant misinformation? Is it neglecting other experiences of Plurality?

We kinda have a hard time drawing the line of what is fake claiming someone, and what is actually something to tell someone they're misinformed at the very least. Since fakeclaiming no matter what is a no-no.

Hopefully that question makes sense 😅

Nope.

There aren't.

Not every plural functions the same, so just because they're "neglecting other experiences of plurality" doesn't mean much.

Voice hearing, for example, is super common, being present in 80-90% of DID cases, as well as most non-disordered types of plurality. But that still leaves another 10-20% of people with DID who don't experience this. And who knows how many non-disordered plurals...

And even when it comes to describing impossible things or things you know aren't true, those can be chalked up to delusions. And psychotic disorders have a strong correlation with trauma.

I've known a lot of people who have had friends claim headmates "system hopped" into their system despite the people having no memories of this.

I've made it pretty clear that I don't believe in system hopping as an actual metaphysical thing since that would enable what is essentially telepathy. If system hopping like is described worked, it would be world-altering and every intelligence agency on the planet would be using it.

But what I think can happen is confusion. A system can have the false belief that they entered somebody else's head, or that a headmate from another system entered theirs. And they can believe that fully, and be genuinely angry when the other person doesn't "remember" the system hopping.

I've seen people chalk this up to an abuse tactic and intentional lying. But even this, I think could very often just be a result of false beliefs, and I wouldn't use it as a reason to fakeclaim someone's system.

That's basically how I see it. If someone isn't showing all the symptoms, that's fine. Every plural is different. They're still a system. If someone is reporting things that are just blatantly impossible or that you know didn't happen, this could be the result of another disorder and they're still plural.

I'd rather give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they aren't lying maliciously, and are just mistaken about what they're experiencing.

As far as I'm concerned, fakeclaiming is basically never justified.

[uniquely-plural]

This is a really weird and specific question but, any advice on how to handle fictives that have source related issues with each other but often need to front together/interact for their jobs? I mean I guess it could go for anyone but. One of our host's main protectors, M, fronts almost 24/7, and has a not great relationship with his dad, T, who just showed up in system a couple days ago. T pretty much immediately became a manager for a particularly bad symptom of our OCD and he's already helped a lot for us to manage not being so overwhelmed with it, but it's really rough when the two of them need to be in the same room. I'm hoping it'll get easier with time but right now it's just a lot of. Stand in opposite corners and don't look at each other.

I think time is definitely an important factor. A new arrival to the system can make at least some members feel on edge even under the best of circumstances, and given their previous issues it makes sense this is especially intense here.

I think for now staying out of each other's ways is actually a good sign. Fictives especially can need time to adapt and understand how things are different now. Getting to see each other in their current roles can help with that, and help them recognise that despite their issues, they're both working towards the same thing now.

I'd also try to reassure M, listen to his concerns, and if possible maybe ask if he wants a break from fronting from time to time.

[smolvenger]

A Court of Mischief and Purpose Chapter Twelve (Loki x fem! Reader Hiddlesverse Crossover Series)

Series Summary: Based on Sarah J Mass's A Court of Thorns and Roses series with the Tom Hiddleston characters. You are a woman of 1880's in Aldwinter in Essex, England, dying of tuberculosis. Never to be married to the local Lusty Vicar. When Loki appears to you and offers to heal you...if you spend a week of every month with him

Chapter Summary: In which there is the Starfall Ball of Asgard

Word Count: 4K (blessedly short for what I have been writing lately, so enjoy!

Chapter Warnings: Brief mentions of babies, insecurity, jealousy and one guy being an asshole to Sif, but overall a very fluffy chapter!

Series Masterlist

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69

A/N: A nice fluffy breather before the chapter when shit goes down! I have no life outside of this, so Enjoy!

The weeks flew by. Though you were worried about the slowness. Thomas and Jonathan were struggling through the spellbook, even with the translation. Loki had to be allowed in to help with certain words. Then not only was the spellbook but the intricate creation of the dagger. Then not only the dagger but the tracking invention of Thomas to where sometimes he had little burn stains on his fingers.

Yet…you enjoyed the repetition again. The normality. You now progressed with Loki to where changing light around helped! It wasn’t useful, but it was something. Objects could be used sensed and moved. The fire was now controlled from your hands to hit where you aimed. Even Sif-Sif-though you could never beat her, you got very close to once!

But now, all that people seemed concerned with- well, openly concerned with, was the Starfall ball. After frequenting the shops, you and Stella were wide-eyed at what beauty and bizarreness lay in the boutiques of Asgard. Yet you grew to appreciate it, be drawn to it. How silly both of you would look wearing frilly bustles amidst all of them! So you both picked your dresses after trying multiple ones from multiple shops.

The day before, you never saw so much bustle as the palace did. Not since the Coronation. Servants ran to and fro. Many ask the AllFather and AllMother questions.

Their footsteps and a crash distracted you in training where you looked away and hit a flame away from the target towards a duplicate of Loki’s.

You turned and saw the copy cowering in a corner.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” you cried

“At least it wasn’t actually me,” the god quipped.

Then it came to physical training You all were training to where you were sweating outside under the sun. Yet there was the delicious smell of the roast meats they carried through the halls. It made your stomach rumble as Jonathan asked for which punches. The curiosity of how food was made nearly got your mind off when trying swords with Hal.

Once it ended, Loki led you, Jonathan, and Robert to see the kitchens right after. The others said they would be occupied until the ball with other concerns. You walked down to see the herbs hanging from the ceiling. You heard a roaring fire. So many servants it was crowded. Then you turned to see Sif, leaning against a wall and folding her arms as she observed…which meant…

You turned your head and there in an apron on a table, kneading wet dough was none other than Stella.

“Why, what are you doing?” you asked.

“Merely baking! One of the servants needed some time away-she just had a baby. So I offered to help!” She answered.

Robert let out a laugh, smiling as he folded his arms to look. Sif gave him a warning glare to keep his mouth shut. Jonathan merely looked at her, the blonde hairs loose from her braid from movement. Yet her face was bright from the warmth and her smile genuine. He swallowed lightly.

“My dear, you are a guest here, you have no need to do anything,” Loki said.

“Oh no, I want to help! I want to show my appreciation! I want to be of use, to pay back everything all of you have done for me- what they all have done for me. Brigit here always makes my breakfasts from the day I arrived-” she gestured to a red-faced, stout woman with her grey hair in a bun putting dough over the fire- “so why not help her back?”

Robert looked at the flour that caked her hands, her apron, dress, and even some on her face.

“Do you want to get dirty?” Robert asked.

“She has another dress!” you laughed.

“Yes, and I’ll have plenty of time to change and prepare. Brigit will dismiss me in time, they know,” she reported.

Part of you felt a little guilty. Already so used to the servants doing everything. Back home, you always washed your own dishes and folded your own clothes. Here these people were making sure you had to never lift a finger for your own needs…Stella was right.

“Is there anything we can do to help? We are down one servant after all!” you said.

Stella nodded. Brigit walked over with her hands over her wide hips. She then handed over baskets full of silver flowers.

“The main hall could use more flower decorations. Seglinde always did that, but now she’s nursing her little one, AllMother bless her-they always need more hands there.”

“I have a gift of moving things around! I can put them in higher places- we all will be glad to!” you agreed.

The other seemed fit. Though Loki showed slight hesitation- he was their prince after all - he found a mere wave of his hand helped every flower be where it should be.

Two hours until the ball began. You and Stella both gathered in her room to prepare. She sat on a chair with a vanity and mirror that was in your room. Her face was washed and a blue shawl over her undershift, she combed through her hair. She now had a comb made of silver, little stars around the line then descending into the bristles. She then lifted, twisted, and set the strands into a bun. You kept handing her the pins to keep it in place. Just a few strands you curled to fall off her face. It didn’t take too long since her hair was only several inches past her shoulders.

“My, how nervous I am!” she confessed.

She walked over to hand you your necklace, helping you seal it from the back. A golden one that seemed like a shell on its strand.

“I am too- nervous but excited!” you agreed.

You glanced at the vase where it sat on a table. The blue flowers are still fresh and cared for. If it was Stella’s care for them or Loki’s magic that still made them look so vibrant, you didn’t know.

Once your necklace was good, you turned back to her. A naughty smile on your lips.

“May I guess it’s a certain fellow named Mr. Pine who is the cause of these nerves? The very gentleman I see you sometimes walking and talking with in the garden?!” you teased her.

She folded her hands, quiet for only a few seconds before she replied.

“Mr. Pine is- is a gentleman. He has been very kind to me this past month.”

Stella absent-mindedly just swiped at the few strands that snuck out.

“And he certainly is handsome!” you cut in, bursting into laughter. You began to undo the buttons of your own earth-toned day dress. You set it down on the bed, neatly next to the book both of you were currently reading.

“He…he is,” she agreed.

You got to the last button, moving to undo the bustle behind you.

“Oh, you’re besotted with him, Stella! Admit it!” you teased.

She turned over to you.

“But what of you being besotted?” she nudged with a smile.

You paused. The bustle is still on you.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

She had a small smile, her voice still quiet and soft, though her words, prodding.

“Whenever there’s training and Loki must fight with someone, you keep ogling him!”

You gave her a light swat on her arm and she laughed. You finally took off the bustle, leaving your own corset, shift, and last petticoats only on.

“Well, are you besotted for him?” she asked further.

Taking in a deep breath, you looked at her. A hand fluttered up to your neck, your mouth felt dry.

“He is a handsome man too like Jonathan, like all of them are. He certainly is…nicer than I thought at first. Not as villainous as I took him to be. A decent leader. He’s not perfect, though. He is vain and jealous of his brother so much that he makes poor choices. He has a devious streak and is fond of doing all sorts of things to get what he wants. But…but…oh, Stella, I don’t know what I think about him…” you sighed out.

“Well, you have time to figure it out,” Stella assured you. “I’m sorry if I asked-”

“Oh no! Don’t be! I just don’t know about him lately. He is a handsome man, and he can be pleasant…but no more,” you said.

She looked at the two dressing screens in the room.

“Alright…let us change to look like Asgardian ladies…” Stella said.

Finally, you both went behind each screen to dress. You hesitantly took off your layers of clothes- but when in Rome, do as the Romans do as they say. There was a shorter underskirt and shift without sleeves to wear under.

Then there was your dress-long and flowy and in a lovely shade of your favorite color. It was quite simple to get on. Quick, even. Such a nice material that felt soft to the touch. It had something like a belt in the middle made of the same material. The sleeves were off the shoulders. It is lovely and exposed, especially for the necklace. Long, drapelike sleeves that fell down from your arms like cascades. The skirts themselves both had layers that fell diagonally and then met the underskirt onto the floor. You found it was very swishy and twirly, perfect for dancing in. Then simple flat shoes- comfortable for the night of celebration.

“Are you ready?” Stella called out.

“Yes I am!” you announced. “Now three…two…one!”

Both of you walked out of the screens to see each other and then in the mirror. Bursting into more giggles and gasps of delight.

Stella’s was blue without question. Hers had no sleeves and exposed shoulders but a belt of gold and little embellishments down the skirt. Both of you stood amazed in the mirror. Both of you added whatever little touches needed to be done (“You must wear this necklace, Stella!”). So different. No petticoats or stockings but…you both looked like real Asgardian ladies now.

You complimented each other, and then with a big breath in, you headed out in time for the party to begin. Down so many flights of stairs you lost count and breath. Through the marble halls and out into the large courtyard. Flowers draped everywhere over the palace, on each column and corner.

The Starfall ball was beautiful. It was an open space with the stone floor and the sky above you. The skyline of the city was visible. Lights were floating in the air with magic. There was chatter and laughter. Servants brought on platters of delicious food and wine. You even noted a table had the bread your friend baked herself. Court musicians played with strings and harps- such beautiful music like you never heard. People sipped at their wines and ales politely. It was early for drunkenness (you would have to keep an eye on Hal). All were thrilled just to be invited to Valaskjalf.

How comfortable it was kept. You didn't feel like you wanted to escape inside from the chill. It was warm and comfortable- for it was a night one had to be out of doors. People wanted to be out and see the stars. To admire each other in their finery. Already there was a hall near the sky where there were dances. So many people clasped hands. Sometimes kissing cheeks lightly. It was so lovely and warm and special. Despite the jewels that seemed to drip from the bodices of several women, they seemed relaxed. You and Stella were awed by it.

Many people chatted like chimes. What did the people of Asgard do at balls? You didn't know if there would be a cigar room or a card table for the men like the dance hall back home? But so far, people were enjoying dinner, and getting partners. Musicians began the first dance as they went out to the courtyard. You sat down, far too hungry to think about dancing with such food.

But you noticed Stella excuse herself to go over somewhere.

Sure enough, you found your first friend. Dressed in blue Asgardian finery, Jonathan sat quietly in a corner sipping his drink. Watching, but stiff in his posture. Even for him.

"Why, what are you doing here, Mr. Pine?" Stella asked.

"I've never been one for parties- large ones. Sometimes I'd rather spend an evening with a good book,” he said.

"What kind of books? Do you have a favorite?" asked Stella.

He smiled, the tension in him relaxing.

"I have a few working through my old collection of them at last. When there's time. I am reading The Seven Pillars of Wisdom. It wasn't published in your time, but would you like to know what it is about?"

"Please do. Mr. Pine, what are books from the future like? What is the story?" she questioned eagerly.

"I shall tell you Stel-er, Miss Harris- I'm sorry..."

She shook her head, a small laugh in her voice.

"No, you can call me Stella now. We've met for long enough,” she assured.

He gave her a certain look, his small smile and focused eyes. You saw Stella’s breath hitch and her stop in place as he spoke.

"After I tell you what it is about- would you like to dance?"

"I'd be delighted,” was her reply.

Jonathan told her all about it. She listened to him with a focused, calm face. Deeply interested in every word he said. She only glanced at you when they went out to dance, you giving her a large smile.

Sif was already drinking wine as she walked out of the table. Some fellow with a toothy smile, greasy red hair, and leering eyes, said "Why, hello there, Sif! How about a dance?"

She gave him a gesture you were certain was vulgar. Then walked away. Drowning her wine before she gave it to a servant.

Still, he kept being at her tail, begging her. Deaf to her refusals. She kept got out her knife kept to her leg beneath her Navy blue dress, the slit fashing out and showing the blade. You could tell it was everything in Sif not to murder him right there and then. Even if she would be sent to prison that minute.

She then hurried over to Robert. He was swaying to the music, dressed in grey Asgardian wear. Sipping away at a drink. "Hey! Doctor! Dance with me! Please! Thor already has several in line and he won't leave me!" Sif demanded.

Robert nearly choked out his drink.

"Are you certain?" he asked.

"Yes! Please!"

She grabbed his hand, leading him to the floor as the next one began. It seemed to work- the fellow left Sif alone. Though you had to admit- they did dance naturally well together.

Indeed Thor was surrounded by many hopeful and ambitious princesses and someday queens to be. But he loved the attention and was smiling at it. It seemed he already had his dance partners for the whole evening planned out. Though at one point he did dance with Sif, and she smiled at him tenderly, gently. He smiled at her- with the same smile he gave to everyone. But as he left for the next girl, there was something of…sadness in Sif’s eyes.

Thomas even danced with you and you were amazed at how good he was, his black clothes with golden embellishments. All of you took a few lessons before the ball. The Baronet was the quickest to master them. Smooth, efficient, sweeping. He was born with wings on his feet like Hermes.

“Why, Miss, you were such a pleasant partner! It was a pleasure indeed!” he praised you.

Hal enjoyed the party but he was not a good dancer. He was inches away from stepping on your toes and apologized every time. You noticed his red clothes had a wine stain on them.

“Please forgive me, my lady,” he sighed.

“Oh- it’s alright Hal! As long as you have fun, it’s the point!” you said as they returned back to the party.

“Though, my lady- when indeed do these stars fall prettily as the good folk speak?” Hal asked.

From the party, Loki emerged. Decked in his signature color of green, though with bits of what seemed like gold armor. The finest Asgardian leather. Even if he wasn’t heir to a crown, no one would doubt his connection to the family.

“It’s in about five minutes,”

“Why, where have you been?”

“Making sure all was well with Mother and Father. There are some potential princesses and even princes Father thought I should at least be introduced to.”

You felt yourself get tight on the inside. You fought back the sour feeling.

“Though…I have missed all of your company. Why, YN Darling…would you like the next dance?” he asked.

You gave him a smile, though your stomach fluttered.

"Yes, I would,” you answered.

He opened his hand and you accepted it.

As he led you through the opening movement as the strings picked up, something hit you. You knew the steps but with Loki, it felt…natural. Easy. Free…youcould look into his eyes and keep doing it and not miss a step.

At one point you had to move like a waltz…and this meant him sweeping your arm in a half embrace as you kept a hand on his shoulder. You felt his touch and the warmth of his breath. He said nothing…but nothing needed to be said. You did look into his blue eyes. Just like Hal’s, Roberts, Jonathan’s, and Thomas’s. But his look on you was...soft, sweet even. Your own heart is racing. You start to feel a little dizzy, a little out of your body. Yet you kept dancing. You wanted to keep dancing with him.

That familiar light-headedness and ache settled inside you. You never wanted to stop dancing with him. It was all happening so quickly in time, but your mind was racing miles ahead.

Your mental shield flew up. You know you couldn’t give in to this feeling. It's infatuation at most, nothing more. Just what dancing with a good-looking and charming man will do to you. But no more, you told yourself.

The few minutes of bliss that will bring on so many months of torment. The little, cruel voice in your head, wiggling out in the corner of the beautiful dance.

You aren’t good enough for him. For anyone, it said. You hated that voice. You hated you felt this way. Hated that you hated it. That everything was so confusing at least…and frightening at most.

But for now...the little cruel could be dim. The movements of your body had to shut it out, making you move rather than dwell.

Yes, give in a little bit for now. Just a few minutes of happiness...nothing more. And then it will be done. The moment will be over. And you will not have this again, ever...so enjoy it. He is a friend to me, and nothing more, you told yourself, only half believing your own lies.

"You look as lovely as the stars above us,” was what he said as you went back to continue the next round of the dance.

"Thank you,” was all you could say.

All of a sudden there were gasps and points. The dancers on the floor all halted. Their chins lifted up above. Both of you paused your dance, despite the continuing music, and looked up.

The stars were finally falling through the sky. Many of them shone, leaving their dust as a path. So many- that it seemed the night was even brighter than the moon could ever make it. Their light sparkles dust through the reaches of the inky black sky like a ballgown. And so many of them! More than you could count, or even imagine!

You glanced over at Loki next to you. Starlight illuminated, everyone. And him. How beautiful everyone looked with the silver light overall. Including him.

The AllMother applauded and the others followed suit. Her eyes went over to the crowd, barely stopping at which faces she knew.

“Well- you all know the tradition. If we want luck until the next Starfall, you must keep dancing! So dance! All of you! Keep dancing!” she said with a smile.

"Now- if you wish good luck, keep dancing!" advised Loki in a hiss.

You gave him a nod, and you kept dancing.

Everyone poured onto the floor, even the AllFather and AllMother danced together. Stella opened her hand for Jonathan and she led him down as they picked up with the others. Thor was with a beautiful woman with dark hair and a triumphant smile like a cat that got the cream. He accepted it and she led him onto the floor. Sif and Robert were already dancing. You heard her mutter "shit! Keep dancing!" and before Robert could process it, their dance continued forcibly continued.

“I could use my magic to have it rain spiders on everyone and listen to them scream!” Loki teased.

“Don’t.”

“Or…” he continued.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Or…what else could you do?”

With his magic, he made it seem as if a few of those little stars fell down. Twinkling their lights, their glittering path of stardust through the crowd. They circled through, all delighted. One went around you, circling over your skirt. You held it and twirled it out and laughed- you heard him laugh too.

People reached out their hands. The glittering stardust a path through the air as they went through before they vanished like fireworks.

“That was stunning!” you said.

“You’re welcome…but we should keep dancing.”

As the stars swirled about lightly in the courtyard and above the sky, you danced with him. Light illuminating from above. Music guides your every step. Your limbs felt so light, and you were a little breathless. You felt the corners of your face lift up in an easy smile, and you saw one on Loki too.

Everyone paused a moment when the dance ended to admire the stars as they glittered and decorated through the sky. Shooting forth and falling through all sorts of patterns. All of the party guests couldn’t help oooing and ahhhing.

You had never seen anything so beautiful in your life. To think, after everything you went through...you could see this. This beauty. It made you glad to be alive, to be here.

Then, after some time, they paused and settled in the sky like normal. Applause broke out, even if the far galaxies could not hear them.

You stayed the length of the ball. Both you and Stella were bleary-eyed and your feet felt weary, your steps heavy from all the dancing. But both of you were so tired you broke into silliness, fits of giggling, and recalling everything that happened. She had a servant bring a cot and you both slept in the same room, recalling everything. The buzz of excitement wore through until it ran its course and sleepiness took its place. You both drifted off to sleep at a late hour.

You had never had a nicer time, the more you thought about it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── It seemed everyone had slept in. It was the afternoon when Hal and Robert insisted on an emergency meeting. All of you went into the secret meeting room. The two had a book. “We were curious…and tired of sitting around and waiting. Guilty even. So we both researched what could help Thomas’s tracker…so here! We finally found a key to Thomas’s invention!” Robert announced.

All of you gathered forward as Hal brought the book forth and opened it. They went to a certain page. It showed an orb glowing in a bright, light blue. Then next to it an illustration of the cabin.

“Twas Loki who said only certain magic may assist the invention. And this certain magic has revealed himself as an orb,” Hal said, pointing to the pictures.

“The orb came from the cauldron- the very one we suspect Grendel had that revived him and kept him alive. It said here…if asked for, it will call out to the cauldron and give a signal. And the cauldron will respond,” Robert finished a triumphant smile on his face.

“And where, on the other hand, is this orb?” Loki asked.

“The Aevi cabin that resides in Jotunheim,” Hal answered.

Robert lifted up a finger in warning.

“But there’s a catch…” he said.

Robert pointed to the text. You began to feel tingly all over, despite the slight weariness from the late night.

“It says here that the cabin will reject all those who don’t have magic. Perhaps the being was a spellcaster who wanted to use it and only wanted it for themselves. And most Frost Giants aren’t magic wielders…so it was placed there. Those who cannot use magic will be blocked out, unable to enter…”

There was a pause. All eyes went to you and Loki. You both took in a breath as the trickster god's eyes met yours. Then he released it in his usual smile and half laugh like an exhale.

“Well, my dear, it seems as if the two of us are headed to Jotunheim.”