#five is trying to be supportive and getting absolutely steamrolled | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

norsecoyote · 4 months ago

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Five years after running out of steam halfway through season 3, my wife and I finally picked Fargo back up -- starting over at the beginning -- and we just finished season 5 last night. And god damn, what a fucking season of television that was. Some unsorted thoughts, full of spoilers:

***

God damn but the soundtrack had zero respect for Roy and his militia. Like, for a show that has the running theme of "local connectivity getting steamrolled by modernity and corporations" (to borrow @bambamramfan's phrasing) but carefully avoids taking a firm stance on the moral valence of that -- until now, it had made a point of treating both sides in all iterations of that conflict with equal dignity, and the narrative of S5 treats these men as genuine, serious threats -- the needle drops in the last few episodes overtly mock their self-image as Serious Men.

For instance, the goddamn two-minute long single-take close-up tracking shot of Roy marching to the shed, his anger and steely resolve building into the Manly Determination to Do Whatever it Takes to bring Dot to heel -- it's a great moment! And the music sounds appropriately dramatic and threatening, except for how it's, you know, a cello-forward cover of "Toxic" by Britney Spears. And of course there's the E9 montage of the podunk proud boys rolling in to defend the ranch, armed to the teeth and manning truck-mounted machine guns, set to "YMCA."

And I'm a little torn, because on the one hand these moments are both extremely funny, but on the other hand they undercut the villains in a way that feels like the hand of the author making itself visible. It's not at all of a piece with how the show has handled criminals and villains in the past -- even Gaetano's greatest moments of buffoonery weren't actively mocked by the show itself -- and while I get why they made those choices on the interpretive level I don't really understand them on the meta-interpretive one.

You could argue that the show wants to clearly communicate that, you know, self-righteous wife-beaters deserve less respect than even the most casually murderous profit-motivated criminals, but... why would it want that? Did the writers not trust the audience to get that without such blatant hinting? That would be very out-of-character for this show.

***

Sort of related, thinking about the villains in particular and characters in general: this season, more than any of the other ones, really played with the contrast between apparent competence-vs-gormlessness and actual competence. To crib bambamramfam's analysis again, the show generally sorts characters into quadrants defined by lawful vs. criminal and naive vs. effective, in support of the thesis that Objective Good does not exist, and good in the world can only exist when people who believe it ought to make it so.

Except, now that the show has explored and implicitly codified this dynamic over the course of four seasons, in S5 it blurs the hell out of those lines. Dot is the central and most obvious example, but there are many others:

Roy starts out seeming like a classic Wolf: dangerous, determined and calculating. Sure, he's continually let down by the various Goons he dispatches to do his dirty work, but for the first 2/3 of the season, every time he gets directly involved, he immediately achieves his goals. It had me trying to figure out how much of his far-right, Christian nationalist/SovCit rhetoric was genuine, versus the fiction that would most effectively let him manage his minions. ...and then he shoots Danish, a purely self-destructive action. He gains absolutely no value from the murder -- something he could easily have understood at the time -- and if you had to pick a single moment where his fate is sealed, that would probably be it. It's not just purposeless, it's ineffective, and at that moment you realize that: oh shit, he actually believes all his horseshit. Roy is not a Wolf, he's a Goon who's just been lucky his entire life until now. Note, too, the contrast between Roy's defeat and Malvo's from S1: Malvo, basically the iconic Wolf, is only beaten by a Sheepdog, while Roy is captured by unknown, faceless federal agents as a direct result of another of his own stupid, self-indulgent decisions (disowning Gator before leaving him behind).

Danish, meanwhile, goes the other way: for the first several episodes, he seems like a retread of Sy (S3), an impression strongly supported by his oddball appearance (and, of course, by the casting of Dave Foley). But... he's actually very competent! Despite the impression of gormlessness he projects, he doesn't make a single misstep in his actual actions throughout the season -- except for the same one that the audience has been led to make, of mistaking Roy for a Wolf who can be trusted to act in his own self-interest if nothing else.

Witt spends almost the entire season as an nigh-archetypal Fargo Sheepdog: focused, attentive, clever and strategic. And indeed he is all those things; he seems very much an extension of Gus (S1), picking up at the end of that season after he's found his nerve. We get so many scenes of Witt staring down the villains, refusing to be intimidated and only backing down when it's clear his position is tactically impossible (a characterization that's made particularly rich coming off S4's focus on anti-Black racism). ...but, for all that he seems to embody the best of Fargo lawmen, when it comes down to it, unlike Gus he can't actually pull the trigger. It's a particularly harsh commentary, for this show, on the difference between wanting a better world and being willing to make one.

***

And then of course there's Lorraine. My god, what an incredible character and performance; some of Jennifer Jason Leigh's micro-expressions had me literally clapping in delight. For a character who's introduced as a loathsome stereotype of conservative billionaires (the first two episodes feature both her gun-totin' Christmas card, her blithe dismissal of Scotty's gender presentation, and the giant "No" mural behind her desk (which had me in hysterics the first time it was revealed)), she grew fascinatingly nuanced over the course of the season.

In particular, she is the first character in the series who blurs the Wolf/Sheepdog dichotomy. Specifically, she's a Wolf who uses her awareness of the imaginary nature of Rules not just to enrich herself but, like a Sheepdog, to protect a community. The "community" in this case is partly, you know, her immediate family and friendscolleagues, but also the broader category of "women who are victims of sexism." This latter is crucial, because it makes it clear that she actually has a positive vision of How The World Should Be, and she makes several choices that advance that vision even at some cost to herself. This culminates in her final revenge on Roy, which has her forgiving debt in the name of ensuring his misery.

Her worldview, without question, is fairly twisted and a little self-centered, but it isn't one where The Only Thing That Matters Is Power. She genuinely cares, in her weird way, about women who struggle against patriarch[s/y]; that belief is what leads to her changing her mind about Dot. She also genuinely cares about (some) other people, even though she tries not to show it; her genuine attachment to Danish comes through clearly both when she learns of his death (those micro-expressions!) and in her vengeance.

Anyway, I don't know that I have a clear thesis here, other than holy shit what a character. Very likely my single favorite from all five seasons of the show. Yes, even beating out Mike Milligan.

***

There's a whole lot more still to say about:

the central concept of Debt -- I was so impressed with how coherently the season handled that theme, in both the literal/financial and metaphorical/interpersonal sense, and the way Munch was like a hidden throughline for it.

Masculinity (god, but Wayne is a fascinating character).

The way this season, despite (per wikipedia) being the only one with no connections to any other seasons or the movie, is in much deeper dialogue with all that came before it than any previous one.

How the last two episodes retroactively transform Gator from a walking stereotype of a Goon getting his well-deserved comeuppance into -- and I mean this very literally -- the protagonist of a classical Aristotelian tragedy.

...but that's all gonna have to wait for another post because this one has gotten enormous. Hopefully tomorrow.

#fargo #media analysis

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sweetteaanddragons · 5 years ago

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Day Fifty-One (And Counting)

With Feanorian Week finished, I managed to complete something for the Tolkien Decameron Project! For those that prefer not to read on AO3, I decided to also post it here.

. . .

Nolofinwe wakes up to find Feanaro about an inch from his face.

He thinks he can be forgiven for a quietly strangled scream. Usually when he wakes up with a face that close to his, it’s his wife, or possibly, when they were younger, one of his children.

Not Feanaro peering down at him like Nolofinwe has just become his latest experiment.

“Good, you’re awake,” Feanaro says with apparent satisfaction. Thankfully, he pulls his face away some, although since he’s still sitting on the edge of the bed, this is still rather awkward.

Nolofinwe looks to the other side rather helplessly in the hopes that Anaire will still be there and will have some kind of idea what’s going on. Unfortunately, she appears to have risen for the day already.

“She’s in your dining room,” Feanaro informs him. “She’s just about to discover there’s a spider on her cup.”

Downstairs, there’s a shriek and the sound of something breaking.

“You put a spider on my wife’s cup?” he says rather blankly. Feanaro is not above pettiness, but he is usually above childish pranks.

“No,” Feanaro says dismissively, and then he moves on, pulling out a sheet of paper that must have been laying beside him. “Number one - “

“How did you even get in here?” Nolofinwe demands, taking advantage of his regained personal space to sit up. “Why are you here?” They are both scheduled to appear before their father in his court today; surely whatever it is could have waited until then.

“I climbed in the window,” Feanaro tells him rather impatiently, and he assumes for a happy moment that his half-brother is joking.

Then he notices the grappling hook hanging over the window ledge and the rope that is trailing behind it. There is also, he realizes with a jolt of dread, a chair tucked under the doorknob as a rudimentary barricade against entrance.

Tensions between he and his half-brother have become high. He had not previously realized that they had become so high that Feanaro would conclude the best method of speaking to him was breaking and entering.

He wonders if it is too late to bury his head under his pillow and pretend this isn’t happening.

Feanaro anticipates this, apparently, because he snatches the pillow away and tucks it under his paper. “Number one,” he says firmly. “You are my brother.”

“Regrettably,” he mutters when Feanaro looks up expectantly.

Feanaro scowls at him. “You are my brother,” he repeats, “and I . . . love . . . you.” He looks like he’s bitten into something sour, but he steamrolls through the sentence regardless.

Nolofinwe gapes at him.

It occurs to him, suddenly, that Feanaro does have a tendency towards experiments and working with dangerous equipment. “Have you hit your head recently?” It’s almost a hopeful question. It would be an explanation, at least. A sensible, rational explanation.

Feanaro ignores this. “Number four,” he announces. “I do not want you dead.”

“I’m . . . glad?”

“Number five. Despite the fact that I hate every single factor that led to your existence, I do not regret your existence itself.”

Nolofinwe wonders if he is supposed to be reciprocating these statements. Feanaro is very clearly waiting for something, and maybe this will all go away if he gets whatever it is. “I’m . . . glad . . . you’re here too, Feanaro.” Well, not here in this room, in this moment, but as a general statement of truth -

Frankly, as a general statement of truth, his life would be a lot easier if Feanaro didn’t exist, but he can’t actually imagine what that would look like, so, yes, he’s glad Feanaro’s here in a general, existential sense.

Feanaro is apparently not interested in this declaration of brotherly sentiment and in fact seems rather annoyed by the interruption. “Number seven."

Nolofinwe wonders what happened to number six, but he quickly decides he does not want to prolong this experience by bringing it up. This seems all the more wise when what Feanaro says is -

"I am sorry for drawing a sword on you.”

“Beg pardon?” Nolofinwe looks around a little frantically, wondering if this happened while he was asleep. There is no sword in evidence, however, and he is growing increasingly concerned that his ‘Feanaro got knocked on the head’ theory is correct.

“Number eight. I am sorry for accidentally killing you.”

“I’m not dead. I have never been dead.”

For a single moment, it occurs to him that maybe he’s wrong, that maybe this is the Halls of Mando,s and the afterlife is far more bizarre than the Valar have led them to believe.

“Not today, I haven’t,” Feanaro says, rolling his eyes, and, alright, Nolofinwe is definitely going for a healer as soon as he thinks he can get past Feanaro to the door. “Number nine. I am sorry for failing to save you on the forty-nine days that followed that accident.”

“Save me from what?” he asks in his best placating voice. Maybe if he edges over to Anaire’s side of the bed . . .

“Dying,” Feanaro says shortly. “I’m not reading you that list, you never react well to it. Number ten - “ His hand shoots and grabs Nolofinwe’s wrist the second he tries to scoot away. “You’re not going anywhere until I’ve tried everything on this list,” he says grimly.

There are many contests Nolofinwe can win against his brother. Contests of tact, for instance. Contests of sanity, apparently.

Contests of strength are definitely not among that number, not after Feanaro’s long years at the forge, so Nolofinwe doesn’t even try to tug against his grip. He tries to play along instead. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish?”

“I’m saying everything they want to hear,” Feanaro says. “Starting with statements about you, since you seem to be the center of all this.”

Nolofinwe works very hard to keep his voice steady. “This?”

“For the past fifty days, you have died every day,” Feanaro says, and there is a terrifying bleakness in his eyes that Nolofinwe has never seen before. “And then I wake up, and Makalaure is singing somewhere downstairs, and you’re alive again, and no one remembers anything. Except me.”

“So you . . . “

“Have been trying to stop it,” Feanaro says impatiently, but there is still that terrible bleakness in his eyes, and it hits Nolofinwe, suddenly, that for all the irritableness Feanaro has displayed today, the terrible rage that has been building between them for years is entirely gone.

Thinking he has seen Nolofinwe die fifty times is apparently enough to do that to him.

He realizes then, that whether or not he believes Feanaro, he at least believes Feanaro believes this, and that’s concerning enough in itself.

“You said they,” he remembers. “Who’s they?”

“The Valar, of course,” Feanaro says, still impatient. “Who else would have the power?”

That’s . . . valid. If this were to happen, the Valar would be the ones to do it, but why?

“I’ve tried saving you, and that never works,” Fenaaro says. “You just die a different way, so that can’t be what they want. I spent all of yesterday compiling a mental list, and I wrote it down as soon as I woke up this morning. Something on here as to be what they want to hear.”

There is a terrible, desperate, light in his eyes, and Nolofinwe decides that no bump on the head is enough to explain this. Either Feanaro is telling the truth, or he has gone utterly, irretrievably mad.

He hears steps creaking on the stairs, and Feanaro says, tiredly, “It’s Anaire. She’s going to knock three times and ask if you’re coming down to breakfast.” His nose wrinkles. “She’s also going to call you ‘sweetheart.’”

There are three raps on the door. “Sweetheart?” his wife calls. “Are you coming down to breakfast?”

Nolofinwe’s mouth has gone very dry. “No,” he manages to croak out. “No, I need to . . . think.”

Feanaro has mouthed along to every word.

“Alright,” his wife says with a sigh, and then she retreats back down the stairs.

“You could have guessed that,” he says, as soon as she’s gone.

“Or I could have come to your house on and off for the last fifty days as I try to figure out a way to fix this.”

It’s insane. It’s impossible.

He thinks he might almost believe it.

Feanaro either sees this or gives up on convincing him, because he pushes onward. “Number ten. I am sorry for the following insults I have rendered you over the years - “

Nolofinwe can see enough of the paper to realize he has an itemized list of these. He does not particularly want to hear it read. “Maybe you have to actually mean it,” he interrupts.

“I do mean it,” Feanaro snaps, and it is with such blazing sincerity that Nolofinwe cannot, for a moment, speak.

Oh.

You are my brother. I love you.

He - had not expected to hear that.

Feanaro glares down at the paper, possibly as an excuse to not have to look at Nolofinwe. “Except maybe for this one,” he admits.

“That’s fair,” Nolofinwe says faintly. “I don’t regret most of the things I’ve called you for the past few decades either.”

There is an ominous creaking sound from above them. Nolofinwe looks up.

There’s a crack in the ceiling. There has been for months now; he keeps meaning to have it fixed, but there never seems to be time.

It’s getting wider now.

And it’s right over Feanaro’s head.

Feanaro doesn’t seem to notice. He’s still looking at the paper, gearing up for number eleven.

The creaking sound grows louder. Stone dust crumbles from the ceiling and starts to fall.

Feanaro looks up, his eyes going dark in absolute horror.

Nolofinwe shoves himself off the bed, and collides into Feanaro, desperately trying to push him out of the way. There’s a sharp burning pain in his back -

. . .

Nolofinwe wakes up to the sound of hammering.

There is a large barricade in front of his bedroom door. Someone is pounding on it.

Feanaro meanwhile, is pounding on the nails he is using to drive a support beam into Nolofinwe’s bedroom ceiling, right over the crack he’s been meaning to have fixed.

For a moment, he is sure he is dreaming.

“What are you doing?” he finally demands.

Feanaro doesn’t even glance down. “Good, you’re awake. Number eleven.”

“Eleven of what?” he demands.

Feanaro steamrolls on without bothering to answer.

It is, Nolofinwe suspects, going to be a very long day.

. . .

(Note: I have many complicated feelings about the tv show Supernatural, not all of them positive. However, I DO uncomplicatedly love the premise of the episode "Mystery Spot," and I got curious about how it might play out with two brothers who aren't . . . quite so willing to admit that they care about the other. This was the result.)

#feanor #fingolfin #groundhog day #fic #silmarillion #years of the trees #time travel

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the-desolated-quill · 6 years ago

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BBC’s The War Of The Worlds blog - Episode 2

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Never before have I witnessed something this god awful. I’m actually gobsmacked. I knew Peter Harness was a terrible writer, but I didn’t think even he could fuck up this badly. I was utterly dumbfounded by the end of the second episode. I couldn’t believe what I just watched. Not only does this fail as an adaptation of War Of The Worlds, it fails as a story in and of itself.

The problems with Episode 2 surface almost immediately within the first few minutes. A flash forward to a post apocalyptic Earth where we see Amy taking care of her son as humanity struggles to survive because of the red weed (which doesn’t look terribly convincing sadly, but that’s the least of this series’ problems). From there the episode continuously switches back and forth to the invasion and the aftermath throughout, which completely ruins the pacing, but it’s actually even worse than that. These flash forwards also giveaway the ending of the story. That the Martians end up losing. Harness tries to act all clever-clever with it by having British propaganda claim that the army defeated them, but the damage has already done. Thanks to this reveal, Harness has successfully managed to completely suck all tension from the story completely. The Martians no longer pose a threat because we, the audience, know they eventually lose, and we know that Amy at least survives, so at no point do we ever worry about her safety. I was absolutely flabbergasted when I saw this. I couldn’t believe any writer could be this stupid as to sabotage their own story by completely defanging their villains. As for the red weed slowly killing the planet, not only do I feel this unnecessarily complicates a perfectly simple narrative, it also opens the door for humanity to overcome their Martian oppressors when the whole point of the original story was that we only survived by the skin of our teeth. Our human ingenuity had nothing to do with it. We’ll have to wait and see what Episode 3 brings, but I’m not optimistic.

Meanwhile the invasion itself is still just as stilted and lacking in focus as it was before. Certain scenes stand out, like the black smoke enveloping London and the Tripods attacking the ferries, but because we know the Martians ultimately lose and that Amy survives, there’s absolutely zero suspense. (And yes, I know War Of The Worlds is a hundred year old story and everyone knows how it ends, but that doesn’t mean you can’t build tension). Also because of Harness wilfully reducing the Martians to incompetent fools, he has to resort to cheap shock tactics in the desperate hopes of scaring the audience, like when we see one of the Tripods kill a baby. Or how about the bit where Amy almost gets raped in the post invasion scenes? After all that performative feminist posturing last week, it’s quite galling to see such a sexist trope be used here for a cheap bit of drama. It’s fucking pathetic.

And once again the focus is in all the wrong areas. Instead of depicting the horrifying events of the Martian invasion, Harness is more preoccupied with Amy and Rupert Graves’ character (I’m sure he has a name, but I can’t be bothered to remember it at this point) squabbling every five minutes. Guys! Humanity is being destroyed by fucking aliens! Can this not wait?!

I’m assuming the whole baby killing thing was an attempt to show us the selfish nature of man or something, but George and the Artilleryman barely make the effort to actually look for the baby and the scene doesn’t go on nearly long enough to get us invested in the search and their eventual failure. The baby is practically thrown away just so Harness can have a moment where social media will go ‘OMG, they killed a baby in War Of The Worlds! How edgy!’ And the annoying thing is the book does actually have morally grey and shocking moments that Harness could have adapted if he wasn’t too busy trying to second-guess the audience and show what a dark and edgy writer he is. There are two important characters in the source material that the narrator encounters who offer different points of view on the events of the novel. There’s the priest who we see slowly lose faith in God and become more and more panicked and erratic, and there’s the Artilleryman, who represents British colonial attitudes, believing that humanity will ultimately triumph when the evidence clearly doesn’t support this. Here the Artilleryman is played by Dudley Dursley himself Harry Melling, who does a decent job with the material he has been given, but unfortunately the character he’s being forced to play is just utterly inadequate.

Continuing with his trend of writing allegories to things that have nothing to do with War Of The Worlds, Peter Harness takes the opportunity to comment on military conscription, even though conscription wasn’t introduced to the UK until 1916. So now the Artilleryman isn’t some impressionable nationalist that has willingly bought into imperial dogma, but rather he’s a scared little bunny rabbit forced to fight a war against an enemy beyond his comprehension. Worse still, George gets conscripted into the military for literally no fucking reason. He doesn’t get given a gun or anything and despite the fact that he knows more about the Martians than the soldiers do, none of them fucking listen to him when he tries to explain the heat pulse thing or why it might not be a good idea to shout at a Tripod. Then, when they think they won the battle, the captain points his gun at George and forces him to wade into the marshes and investigate. Again I must stress that George doesn’t have a gun! It’s just utterly contrived!

Oh but don’t worry. Harness finally addresses what the source material is actually about. British imperialism and colonialism. Unfortunately he does it with the subtlety and nuance of a giant steamroller driven by Marilyn Manson. Now admittedly the book isn’t very subtle about it either as the narrator comes right out with the comparisons between the British and the Martians, but the thing is the book gets away with it because it’s told from the perspective of a journalist writing about his own experiences after the fact. H.G. Wells has the licence to draw direct parallels because the narrative form he has chosen allows him to. A TV series however - a visual medium - cannot get away with this. Harness, not having the faintest idea how to address the themes of the source material organically in the visuals or the plot, resorts to sledgehammer tactics to get the point across. In the flash forwards to post apocalyptic Britain, we see Amy’s son reading a book that details how the British defeated the Martians as part of some propaganda initiative. A speech is made about how powerful and unstoppable the British Empire is, whilst intercut with soldiers having their arses handed to them by the Tripods. We see several characters maintain a stereotypical ‘stiff upper lip’ attitude as though the Martian invasion was a minor inconvenience instead of a shocking tragedy. There’s even a moment where the Minister of War is babbling on about how much more powerful the Empire can become if they can use Martian technology before succumbing to the Martian’s black smoke and we see literal bile foam from his mouth. It’s all so painfully on the nose and doesn’t offer any intelligent points or topics for discussion other than ‘empires are bad.’

And that’s not to mention all the other contrivances and annoyances in this episode. Despite Eleanor Tomlinson giving it her all, I still couldn’t give two shits about her character. Rafe Spall’s performance as George is still utterly atrocious, running around with a gormless expression on his face as though he’s just lost his wallet. Rupert Graves is utterly wasted as George’s brother and has no good material to work with. We also have a little girl join the group in a desperate bid to draw some sort of emotional reaction from the audience (it doesn’t work) and we have a sick older woman who serves no purpose whatsoever as far as I can see. In fact she really pissed me off due to the way in which she gets poisoned. It’s clearly meant to be there to establish the Martians terraforming Earth, but good God it’s stupid. How does she get poisoned? By drinking a random cup of water someone had just happened to leave lying around in the middle of a field.

I... I... Harness.... Harness, does your brain work?! How the flying fuck did you ever manage to get a career as a writer?!?!

BBC, I beg of you, please stop using our TV licence fees to fund hack screenwriters’ poorly thought out and unentertaining fanfiction!

PLEASE!

#the war of the worlds #hg wells #peter harness #bbc #review #spoilers

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arrow-guy · 8 years ago

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Secret Santa

Summary: Accidents happen, and Christmas is just an excuse to spoil those you care about, right?

A/N: Alrighty, this is a little too late for Hawkday, but it’s close enough. This is kind of goofy and sweet and I really hope you guys like it!!

Pairing: ClintxReader

Word Count: 3114

Warnings: None

“This is absolutely ridiculous,”

“You seriously think I would joke about liking Clint?”

“Yes! That’s why I’m laughing!”

“Tony, please, this is serious.”

Tony sobers and leans forward in his seat. “So you really like that disaster?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, I really like that disaster. Nat says he likes me too, but he’s too scared to make a move.”

“Oh, I would be too. You’re absolutely terrifying.” I reach over the cafe table and punch Tony in the arm and he winces. “He’s probably just worried that you don’t feel the same. The man acts like he’s got his life together, but he drinks coffee straight from the pot. He probably doesn’t want to mess up his chance with someone as great as you.”

“Thanks, Tony.” I flag down a roaming waiter. “I’m going to get Clint a coffee and then we have to go. We’ve got an important mission that we have to leave for as soon as we get back.”

Tony nods and, after I’ve placed the order, says to the waiter, “Just put it on my tab. We’ll be back again within a week.”

“Is everyone alright?” Steve asks as soon as all of us are back on the quinjet. His question is followed by a chorus of yes's and groans. Steve nods wearily as he sinks into the pilot’s chair and fires up the jet.

Clint plops down next to me and sighs loudly, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“You alright there, Clint?”

He nods a couple of times before letting his head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a steamroller though.”

I laugh softly and shake my head. “It certainly was one hell of a challenge. Gonna feel it for the next week or so.”

Clint barks out a laugh. “Well that’s one way to feel about it.”

We fall into an easy silence

“Thanks for the coffee earlier.”

“Don’t mention it. I know how tired you are when you don’t get your caffeine.”

“But you got it from my favorite cafe.” His lips curl up into an easy smile. “I just appreciate the trouble you went through is all.”

“It’s not a problem, Clint,” I smile and pat him on the arm. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

“Yeah...” he trails off, zoning out with a concerned look in his eye.

“You okay there, Clint?”

He shakes his head. “I-yeah,” he says, patting down his pockets. “Shit.”

“What?”

He sighs in defeat. “I lost my knife.”

“But your ka bar is still on your hip.”

“Not that knife,” he explains. “The switchblade my mentor gave me when I was a kid.”

“I thought your mentor was a criminal.”

“Well yeah, but it still has sentimental value.” He scowls, still rifling through his pockets before giving up and sighing loudly. “Could have given it to my older brother, but he gave it to me. He chose me for some reason, and he’s the reason I’m even on this team right now.”

“Really?”

“Well yeah, why else would S.H.I.E.L.D. have come looking for me?” He laughs and shakes his head. “Not many other master marksmen trained by carnies out there. We're good at sneaking around y’know?”

“I understand,”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve got a scar on my knuckles that I got when I was in the fifth grade. I got it when I punched Riley Jones in the teeth after lifting the skirt of a girl two years younger than us.” Clint presses his lips together, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “Yeah, laugh all you want, but that’s the reason I wanted to do anything like this in the first place. I know what it’s like to have an irreplaceable reminder like that.” He raises his eyebrows at me and I scowl back. “Quit looking at me like that, you know what I’m trying to say.”

He smiles. “I do, and I appreciate the sentiment, (Y/N), it’s just fun to see you flustered like that sometimes.”

“You’re an ass, Barton.”

He laughs loudly. “Yeah, but you like my ass.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m dead serious, Tony.”

“We’re not going back just so you can look for his little knife. No way,” I raise my eyebrows at him and push my bottom lip out a little, silently begging him to do what I want him to. “I’m not going to waste resources like that, (Y/N).”

“Fine,” I scowl at him. “But there’s nothing stopping me from sneaking out and borrowing a quinjet.”

Tony sighs loudly and grabs his tablet from off the table. “I’ll send out a drone to look for it, but if it can’t pick up on anything, then you’ll just have to figure out some other way to get your boyfriend’s knife back.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Tony.” I cross my arms and pout.

“Not yet, and that’s not what you should say when someone is trying to help you,” Tony says, his fingers flying across the surface of his tablet.

“You’re right,” I push off the table and press a quick kiss to Tony’s cheek. “Thank you, Tony. I really appreciate it.”

“You should,” Tony smirks and sets the tablet on the table. “Now, we wait.”

A loud ping from the surveillance system fills the room, pulling Tony and I out of our respective naps. Tony is the first out of his chair, leaving me to rub my eyes and blink at the harsh lighting.

“What was that?”

“It looks like the drone is done with it’s scan,” Tony answers. He crosses the room and hands me the tablet. “This is all it managed to find.”

I look down at the tablet, and only see the crushed remains of what was once a lovely switchblade. The black handle is shattered, and the blade has been broken into three separate pieces. “Well shit.”

“Yeah,” He takes the tablet back and flicks through several different images taken of the mission site.

“What am I gonna do now?” I scrub my hands over my face then fold my arms across my chest. “You’re good at making up convoluted plans as an excuse to give someone a gift. What do you suggest?”

Tony runs a hand over his mouth and turns to look at me. He smirks, tilting his head to the side. “Well, it is almost Christmas.”

“Alright, everyone,” Tony addresses the room, rubbing his hands together. “Time for a little announcement.”

I plop down on the couch next to Steve as Tony somehow produces a large ceramic bowl.

“Hey, Tony,” I say, shooting him a cheeky grin, knowing full well what he’s about to say. “Whatcha got there?”

“I’m glad you asked, (Y/N), because here in my hands I hold the names for the first annual Avengers secret Santa.” He waggles his eyebrows at me.

The rest of the team erupts into groans and I whistle loudly to show my support.

“Really, Tony?” Steve asks, his voice tinged with a whine. “When do we have time to even think about buying gifts for each other, let alone secret Santa gifts?”

“More like secret Satan,” Clint mumbles. I reach over and punch him, earning a laugh in return.

“You have time as of two days ago when I decided this was happening,” Everyone groans a second time. “I’ve talked with S.H.I.E.L.D. and they’re going to be helping us out a little more than they usually do for the next couple of weeks until the annual Stark holiday party. We’ll exchange gifts then.”

“Enough with the build up, pretty boy,” I call. “Let’s choose names!”

Tony snorts and shakes his head, gesturing for me to get up. He shuffles the names around in the bowl as I approach.

“It’s taped to the bottom of the bowl,” Tony whispers.

I nod and sift through the slips of paper until I reach the bottom of the bowl. I unstick the name, flip it open just to be one hundred percent sure that it’s Clint and shove it in my pocket before grinning at Tony and turning to head back to my seat. As soon as I flop down onto the couch, Tony starts calling on the other members of the team. I watch with mild interest at everyone’s facial expressions as they unfold their slips of paper. Steve’s eyes widen momentarily before he folds the slip and slinks back to his seat. The corners of Clint’s mouth quirk up into a little smile, and Sam nods a couple of times. Bucky, Rhodey and Nat’s expressions are unreadable and Bruce just seems resigned to the fact that we’re even doing this. Scott takes one look at the name on his slip of paper, purses his lips, and turns on his heel to sit back down. Tony takes the last name in the bowl and tucks it into his back pocket.

“What now?” Bucky asks.

“Now we do whatever it is we do when we’re not on missions,” Tony answers. “I assume that’s paperwork, research and training. Unless you want to go out and shop for your secret Santas right now.”

Everyone sighs collectively and, one after another, they haul themselves out of their seats and go their separate ways. Even if everyone is annoyed at the idea of doing secret Santas, I think that they’ll have fun with it in the end.

“You okay there, (Y/N)?”

I look up at Tony and smile. “Yeah, I’m good.” Tony reaches out a hand to help me up and I take it. “I think I’m gonna go out and try to find a knife.”

“Do what you have to do,” Tony says. “I just hope they aren’t too crazy expensive.”

I shrug. “Like you said, I’ll do what I have to do.”

It took me five days wandering around eight different shopping centers to finally find the perfect knife. There’s a little specialty knife shop about two hours away from the tower just outside of Saratoga Springs that has a limited collection of beautifully restored, vintage switchblades.

As soon as I step through the door, the owner is there to help me out.

“What can I help you find?”

“I’m looking for a very specific black switchblade,” I answer. “It would be fairly old, but still in usable condition.”

The elderly man’s eyes brighten and he gestures for me to follow him. He slips behind the counter and stops in front of a case about three feet away from the register.

“All of our switchblades will be right here. I’m not sure if we’ll have what you’re looking for, but there is a fair selection.”

Scanning over the rows of knives, my eyes catch sight of one that’s nearly a carbon copy of Clint’s original knife.

“That one,” I say, pointing to the glossy black knife. “That’s the exact knife I’m looking for.”

The man’s greying eyebrows lift in surprise. “Are you sure? It’s not cheap, you know.”

“As long as he can use it like he does his other knives, it’s perfect.”

“It’s a gift, eh?” He says, carefully taking the knife from the display. “He must be very lucky to have someone like you.”

“Well, we’ll see how lucky he is after I give it to him.”

The man laughs and presses the knife into a cushioned box. I pay for the knife, and thank the man for his time. I leave the store without an ounce of doubt about my purchase.

-December 3rd-

“So,” Tony sidles up beside me, drink in hand. “Did you ever find that knife?”

“I sure did,” I shoot him a grin. “It’s perfect too. Almost exactly like the one that got destroyed.”

“Really? How much did that cost you?”

“Eh, nothing too crippling.”

“Oh? Let’s hear it then.”

I sigh and shake my head. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but it was almost a hundred dollars.”

Tony nearly spits out his drink. “Seriously?!”

“I may have given him one of Clint’s broken arrows and signed a couple of group photos for him to get him to knock down the price a little.”

“So you used the “We Saved The World Twice” discount, did you?”

“Maybe,” I mumble into my drink, glaring at him over the rim of the glass.

“I’m just kidding, I know how important this is to you.”

“I know, you banter because you love.”

“Exactly,”

“So, who did you get for secret Santa?”

“I got Barnes.”

I let out a low whistle. “How do you think you did?”

“Well I didn’t buy him any sort of weapon, so I think I did fairly well.”

I shake my head and toss back the rest of my drink. “As long as you didn’t get him stainless steel wipes, I think you’ll be alright.”

“I didn’t even think to get those,”

“Good. You shouldn’t unless you truly do have a death wish.”

“I’ll remember that for our next secret Santa,”

I smack his arm and he laughs, his eyes glittering.

Looking round the room, I find everyone talking and laughing. They seems happier than they’ve been in months. Steve leans on Bucky’s shoulder and whispers something in his ear, making Bucky laugh like he never has before while Sam shakes his head beside them, grinning ear to ear. Clint and Nat lean on the bar, pointing to different people milling about the party and snickering at each others comments. Scott bounces around the room, mingling with just about everyone. It’s his first Stark party, so his excitement is understandable.

Rhodey approaches us, beer in hand and a rare easy smile on his face.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“Happy said that he and the security crew can wrap up down here if we want to head upstairs for the night.”

“Cool,” I shoot him and Tony a grin. “I’ll go let everyone else know if you and Tony wanna head upstairs.”

Rhodey nods and follows Tony to the elevator. When they’re out of sight, I start making the rounds, talking to people around the room that I recognize and letting the team know that we’re headed upstairs. We all slowly trickle into the common area upstairs, all of us lounging on couches and comfy chairs.

Someone tosses a gift into Steve’s lap and he looks up, blinking slowly at Bucky who had thrown the gift at him. A faint pink dusts his cheeks as he heads back to his seat. One at a time, each of us gets up and reveals who’s name they drew. Steve got Tony, Nat got Sam, Rhodey and Scott somehow got each other, Clint got Natasha and Sam got Bruce. The only person left who hasn’t received their gift is Clint. I slowly push myself up off the couch and hand a black box with a large red ribbon on it to him. He looks up at me, confusion written plainly on his features. I simply smile at him and head back to my seat.

I hear Clint gasp as soon as I sit down, and I know he’s opened his gift. I cautiously look up and find that Clint is on his feet, crossing the room towards me. He holds out a hand and I take it. He pulls me up from my seat and leads me away from the group and down the hallway. We’re followed by a loud “Oooh, someone’s in trouble!” from Sam, and I clap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.

When Clint has decided that we’ve gone far enough, He turns around to face me.

“You… you bought that knife?”

“Well the one you lost was damaged beyond repair, so the only option was to replace it.”

“It must have cost you a fortune, I can’t accept it.”

I shake my head. “You can, and you will.” He scowls, but when I reach a hand up to cup his jaw his expression immediately softens. “I know how important that knife was to you. You were pretty torn up about losing it, and I wanted to fix that.”

“There’s absolutely nothing I did to deserve this,” He says softly.

“Well, like you said, I like your ass.”

“Wait, what?”

“I like you, Clint. And I know you like me too. Nat told me like a month ago.”

His eyes go impossibly wide. “She wasn’t lying then,” He pulls away from me and paces up and down the hall. “The one time she tells the truth, and I think she’s lying.”

“Clint, calm down,” I manage to catch his arm and stop his pacing. “What are you talking about?”

“Nat told me you liked me almost a month ago and I thought she was messing with me,”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re smart and gorgeous, and I’m kind of stupid and oblivious.” He shakes his head. “You can have just about any guy out there, and you seriously want me?”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, first of all, you’re not stupid. No one can aim like you do, and you’re constantly three steps ahead,” I push his hair off of his forehead and frown at him. “You get hurt a lot, and you don’t always put yourself first, but you care about keeping people safe. Plus, you’re one of the most handsome men I have ever seen in my life, you’ve got legs for days and killer abs. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

“Only one of the most handsome men?” He asks, a smile playing at his lips.

“You know what?” I lace my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and pull his face down towards mine. “Shut up.”

“Only if you make me,” He smirks and circles his arms around my waist.

“Gladly,”

I pull him into a kiss that’s gentle at first, but quickly becomes more heated. I bite gently at his bottom lip before pulling away, trying to catch my breath.

“Wow,” He pants out, eyes flitting over my face.

I tilt my head to the side. “I tell you what. Give it till tomorrow morning, think about it a bit, and then let me know if you really want to give the knife back. But, until then,” I take his hand in mine and lead him further down the hallway. “We can talk a little more about how gorgeous and smart you think I am.”

“But the others-” I cut him off with a pointed look, turning the knob of my door and backing inside. “Never mind, merry Christmas to me!”

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked the piece please reply to the post or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!

Tag listers:

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#clint bartonxreader #readerxclint barton #clintbartonxreader #readerxclintbarton #clint barton x reader #reader x clint barton #clint barton #hawkeye #marvel #marvel fanfiction #reader insert #reader insert marvel fic #marvel fluff #fluff fic #hawkeye fanfiction #hawkday #my perfect birdie boy

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 years ago

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@atmntloric that's the one, yep! which sucks because i was actually just looking for cute content of the chimærae as a pick-me-up after i remembered cat stanley exists, and because i was word-searching i didn't realize until too late that five was in the scene at all, much less that there'd be That 😣

which, like, sucks even more because i really want to at least try to get invested in the main and adjacent cast of the first series, even when i'm having to set aside everything to do with five to do it because everything about how they interact with him is infuriating. i would! but a) it's a crapshoot trying to avoid even shittiness about that, or that indirectly harkens back to it, and b) if it's not that it's some other similar level of horrific fucked up thing that goes completely unaddressed at best, is actively cheered on at worst.

[longpost ahoy, It's a Lot]

the mogs in general and e s p e c i a l l y the vatborn; the genocide apologism in general; the entity's fuckery including terraforming the earth; nine's... everything. just everything; even moreso absolutely everything to do with the academy; john's constant enablement of abuse on small and large scale, sometimes cheering it on or directly participating in it; the horrifying abuse of most of the mentor cêpans toward their garde; adam being unbelievably cruel about his ableism, racism, and other survivors, as well as his awful treatment of his siblings including emotionally abusing ivan; the list goes on.

(and most of that is just the first series! i still haven't been able to finish even half of the second series because the level and amount of this kind of sheer mind-numbing horror was genuinely fucking me up to read. i legitimately am not sure if i'm going to even try to read all of it, because holy shit I Would Already Like to Unsee What I Saw, and i don't know how much more of that i want in my head.)

and the writers just. cannot seem to write protagonists, or characters we're supposed to like or who aren't themselves being shitty, without casually involving them in one of the Sinkholes of Awful. sometimes it's like with the above, where the human garde are made complicit in the others' abuse of five because they don't have context for either the cêpan thing or five's deal beyond that he's a traitor with bad vibes. sometimes it's bizarre out-of-character behavior, like nigel doing a complete about-face on his Fuck You Violent Racist Motherfuckers I'm Protecting Vontezza from You in favor of joining their support group to commiserate and bond with racists about his experiences wrt the group they're racist against. or, for that matter, not a single one of the large number of POC in LLR's cast going HEY SO UH HOW THE FUCK ABOUT THAT RACISM @ the other protagonists. or stuff where it's like, i guess i could see how they might be that kind of racist if you decided to make that a trait of theirs, but holy shit why the fuck would you? (see: a decent of the LLR cast's throwing vontezza and her crew under the bus to save their own skins while shrugging about how they deserve it to make themselves feel better about it 🙃🙃🙃🙃)

and on top of that, even when a character who's Doing This Shit has even a little bit of a fair point in a scenario like that, it is nearly always an obvious contrivance on the part of the authors to try to get you to both-sides against their victims while making false equivalences and steamrolling over context. five does have some genuinely shitty faults that aren't just character assassination or grooming/brainwashing (although the latter has HEAVILY shaped most of them getting as bad as they have). there are some pretty fucked up dynamics he has with other characters that are shitty on his end as well as theirs--or sometimes not theirs at all!--and i would love to explore that, partly in the spirit of fairness, and partly because it'd be interesting to play out how he could either Get Much Worse or grow past it.

......except that 98% of it is built on and completely inseparable from a mile-deep cesspit of violent, violent ableism, classism, fatphobia, and anti-survivorism--child abuse/neglect survivors, emotional abuse survivors, SA survivors, CSA survivors, trafficking survivors, cult survivors, bullying survivors, homelessness/food insecurity survivors, suicide survivors, survivors of predation and trauma in general, take! your! pick!

(there's also a case to be made here for queerphobia--namely transphobia and arophobia/homophobia--but those are undercurrents, whereas all the above is either explicit in the text or metaphor that's about as subtle as a brick to the face.)

which brings us back to, yep, the original screenshot. by that point multiple people in the Main Party have been very explicit about the fact that they will torture, mutilate, or kill him given the slightest excuse, and shown that they will happily flaunt that to abuse him and push the situation in order to make that happen if he does not completely submit and go along with it.

(this includes straight up, for-once-not-even-slightly-metaphorical sexual abuse/harassment. which i am going to snip out of the middle of the example in this post and put in the next reblog, because holy fuck it is uh. bad. it's Bad. jesus fucking christ)

[warnings for sexual abuse/harassment and CSA with details left out, anti-survivorism, murder/torture threats, abuse, coercion, suicide attempt mention/suicide-baiting, abuse apologism/enablement, almost-eye gore, Putting a Victim in Their Place, generally being fucking upsetting lol]

first we have this, immediately after they take five into custody in new york. (and also immediately after nine said he should kill himself--not just should have, but should--which definitely does not bode badly for things he would have been trying to push to happen if five hadn't disappeared. not at all. lovely. 🙃)

nine says, calmly, explicitly, and dead serious, that he's going to kill five 'if it comes down to it'--that much as a grudging, insincere concession to not just killing him outright while he's imprisoned and can't defend himself--and that john won't be able to stop him. john, as usual, having made a half-assed nothingburger about how five shouldn't die, does not take this seriously; he laughs him off as being a scamp who's 'concussed' and doesn't really mean it, and isn't a danger--doesn't even say that he will stop him.

(also of note here, especially for the next scene: nine expresses that he wants to see five humiliate himself at their mercy to save his own life. which has some uh, real gross fucking vibes, but by itself makes his motivations, methods, and line of thinking when he sexually harasses/abuses five later Pretty Fucking Clear.)

so then we get to this scene.

he is naked and completely vulnerable. he is between a hallway full of soldiers who are ready to gun him down if he makes a wrong move, and marina who is going to stab out his eye at minimum if he moves at all. while she is obviously triggered and in a bad place mentally, she makes no indication at any point--at the very least, not to five--that that intention has changed if he steps out of line. she is barely talked down from this.

...and nine very clearly wants this to happen. he's barely restraining himself from saying it outright, and that much because he knows there's a risk it'll actually get him in trouble with john. he's sure as fuck not holding back because he wants to defuse the situation, or marina's sake, because the very next fucking thing he does is intentionally provoke five to try to 'set him off.' he doesn't give a shit about anyone's safety in the room, he doesn't give a shit about triggering marina even further, he doesn't give a shit about traumatizing marina by provoking her into killing five.

(it is also, and i cannot fucking stress this enough, THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING THAT GOT EIGHT KILLED. EXACTLY THAT. HE THREW A PITY PARTY AND GOT FORGIVEN FOR IT AND THEN HE DOES THE EXACT SAME THING AGAIN, because he does not actually fucking care about ANYTHING except getting to abuse people and get away with it, while occasionally giving himself a warm-fuzzy ego trip about ~defending people from bullies.~ shove an entire goddamn house up your ASS, nine.)

more specifically, the way he provokes five is sexual harassment/abuse. he does it gleefully because he knows that if five reacts at all, much less stands up for himself, he will be tortured or murdered or both; if he doesn't, he will have to just stand there and take humiliating sexual abuse to save himself from it. either way nine gets something he will take great satisfaction in. it's a win/win for him.

(the details of that are the part i'm snipping for the next post, because holy shit, but that is the gist of it.)

and what does john have to say about this? what the fuck does john have to say about this?

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

so uh. yeah that sure is some fucking context for the screenshot in the OP and it is a perfect summary of why i hate canon!nine and john more than i have words to express

(also i had forgotten but another implicit threat in that scene was institutionalizing him again, which a) holy violent ableism batman and b) is also very much in line with the kind of treatment survivors get for speaking out lol)

'you just said proudly to my face that my cêpan abusing and neglecting me, which directly set me up to be groomed later on, was a Great and Noble Tradition and that you are going to be doing it to these kids who are younger than us. fucking lol'

these fuckers: glare at him coldly, silently, and (particularly but not exclusively) in marina's case with the implicit threat to murder/torture/mutilate him, until he shuts up and ostracizes himself from the group even further

yeah that sounds about fucking right for how people treat survivors who harsh the vibe by so much as breathing about it. fuck every last one of these people

#LL tag #replies #correct-lorien-legacies-quotes #atmntloric #cws in post #LL number five #LL number nine #LL marina #LL john smith #the crit files #LL crit tag #fuck off marina #fuck off john #fuck off nine #dyn: he's like us now #awfulness aside you are correct that five laughing is serotonin and i need to draw it under better circumstances now out of spite #let him go full snapcube shrieklaughter for the love of god #ALSO @ atmntloric thank you for tagging ran i did not know if the books gave us a last name or not #stanleycat is a good chungus and i need to draw him experiencing No Signal

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evilisk-played · 5 years ago

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Thoughts and Stuff on Labyrinth of Touhou 1: Rebirth

Even though I’ve only gotten to 17F, I’ve had my fill of this hack

tl;dr: the increased EXP completely kills the game’s difficulty

= = =

Here’s a brief summary of how I felt about the hack:

What’s Good

The game revamps the story a little, which is nice

The game revamps the graphics each floor which is a nice surprise

Some of the worst parts of LOT1 (like the 6F teleporter maze) are gone

Some of the new / remixed characters are quite good, like Medicine, who I think is so much better than Wriggle.

The game is less grindy as a whole thanks to the increased EXP

What’s Bad

...but the game is ridiculously easy now thanks to the increased EXP. Seriously, I compared my LOT1 save vs Rebirth save, and I already have characters in the 90′s / 100′s at the point where you’d normally be late 60s, early 70s.

Some of the worst parts of LOT1 remain. The 14F maze is still here, there’s a NEW teleporter maze on 17F, 15F is 100% worse etc.

The rest of the new / remixed characters aren’t as well designed or balanced. Kyouko basically turns early game LOT into a joke. Seija is as tanky as Tenshi, but with actually decent health and offensive capabilities.

Unclear descriptions of what new character skills do

You have to level up one level at a time. No seriously. It turns out older versions of LoT did not have the “level up multiple times” function that later versions did. So on Rebirth, you pick up a new character and then you spend the next five minutes mashing Z and down to level up and allot bonuses.

The New Characters

Kyouko: she’s busted in the early game. She destroys most early game random encounters if she’s built with MAG. Even if she isn’t, her MAG buff allows you to steamroll bosses with MAG-build Patchouli. Her usefulness as a trash mob killer has started to peter out, but it’s nuts how much she trivializes the early game. I’d say she’s easily an improvement on Cirno, who was kinda trash, especially in the post-game where Mystia exists and does the same thing she does, but better.

Boss Fight: Her fight is the hardest new fight in LOT: Rebirth (that’s also actually fair). Part of it is that you’re not horrendously over-leveled when you fight her. The other part of it is that she’s actually just that hard; she has a post-game style berserk phase when her health gets low enough.

Build Used: MAG

Wakasagihime: honestly, I didn’t use her all that much. I started to use her towards the end because of her MAG / MND buff but that’s it. Despite having a group heal, she doesn’t hold a candle to Minoriko, especially when it comes to pure surviveability

Boss Fight: she is recruited without a fight

Build Used: MND

Tewi: another character I didn’t use much, though this was partly my fault; I assumed that she was an ATK reliant character, but then I read her spell description and now it seems like she’s a MAG attacker (that simply targets DEF, like Alice). I ruined her, but I can’t see her being worse than Rumia, as she actually has a group targeting version of Reisen’s Grand Patriot Elixir skill.

Boss Fight: Oh god, Boss Tewi is just pure RNG. Either she goes full stupid and spams her self-buff five times in a row without doing anything, or she just destroys your party with her high power, low delay attacks.

Build Used: ATK

Medicine: like I said before, Medicine is great. She’s basically Wriggle’s replacement, except unlike Wriggle, she can actually tank really well (MND-Tank Medicine is excellent) and she has more utility, choosing between group PSN, group PAR, or a group PSN-cure (that has 99 delay, meaning you can do some character switching shenanigans with her).

Boss Fight: she is recruited without a fight, but you do fight Plants in place of Wriggle’s Peg Insects.

Build Used: MND

Seija: despite replacing Iku on the screen, she’s actually a Tenshi clone. Personally, I think Seija is just busted. Yeah she can’t self-buff like Tenshi, but her better HP stat, her ability to buff OTHER characters as well and her gimmicky attack spells (which will overkill anything with higher DEF or MND than ATK or MAG) make her way more useful than Tenshi.

Boss Fight: she is recruited without a fight

Build Used: Balanced Mix of DEF and MND

Momiji: she is Komachi’s replacement but plays absolutely nothing like her (no character plays like Komachi, actually, which is a huge bummer). I honestly didn’t really use her. I built her up with ATK but I didn’t feel she was a very good attacker. With her skills (which include a self-buff that restores health), Momiji might honestly be a better tank.

Boss Fight: she is recruited without a fight, but you do fight Tengu in place of the Komachi’s Spirits

Build Used: ATK

Shou: she is Sanae’s replacement except she has zero attack skills (which was a big problem for me, I dumped all her bonuses into MAG). No opinion on her tbh.

Boss Fight: You fight a Shou / Sanae’s foe but she has no personal boss fight.

Build Used: MAG (don’t do this)

Shimyoumaru: she is Tenshi’s replacement... and that’s all I got. She was one of the last characters I picked up before dropping the game, so no clue how she works. A thread on MotK implies that she’s probably the worst of the new / remixed chracters so...

Boss Fight: she has a boss fight. I remember nothing about it because I was in the “horrendously over-leveled” part of my playthrough.

Build Used: Erm, didn’t know what stat she used

Kagerou: she is Mokou’s replacement but plays like a Chen remix (but Chen is already in the game...). I will say, I don’t like Mokou in LOT1 but what little I played of Kagerou, it seems she’s really good.

Boss Fight: she has a boss fight. I also remember very little about the fight, but I actually almost lost (unlike some other fights) so it’s probably harder than the others.

Build Used: ATK

Yoshika: she is Yuyuko’s replacement but she plays completely differently. The only thing in common with Yoshika and Yuyuko is their SPI element and their slow SPD. Yoshika has nothing fancy like Yuyuko (to my knowledge, she has no ATB drain or any group attacks, and all three of her attack animations are based on Remilia’s Gungnir animation) but her damage is ridiculous against certain enemies. She could also possibly work as a tank, given that she has a self-heal?

Boss Fight: she easily has the easiest new boss fight. Yuyuko in LOT1 wasn’t particularly hard (so long as you had DTH and SPI protection, she couldn’t really do anything to you) but Yoshika is a complete joke by comparison.

Build Used: ATK

Mima: she is Yukari’s replacement, and she seems kinda nuts? Compared to Yukari who is basically Support Queen, Mima is a Juggernaut Attacker whose version of Spiriting Away even buffs characters. I didn’t experiment much with her, and I wouldn’t put her as *better* than Yukari, but she sure is different.

Boss Fight: She actually forced me to redo my team setup... I still beat her on the third try though. She still has Yukari’s multiple phases but I can’t go more in-depth than that.

Build Used: MAG

Shinki: I refuse to to do teleporter mazes without a guide, so the run ends here.

In all, this was a fun diversion. I’ll probably write up a short walkthrough for some of these floors and put them SOMEWHERE. Sorry but I’m just not interested in doing teleporter mazes blind.

#labyrinth of touhou #labyrinth of touhou rebirth #labyrinth of touhou hack

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vesta-xx-blog · 8 years ago

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I hate this shitty game so much

Story time.

Today I played the most emotionally draining Overwatch game I’ve played so far. Here’s the context.

I’m a support main who can flex to tank, stuck in bronze. Yeah, I suck at this shittygame. I was placed at Gold back in Season 2, but in Season 4 a series of unlucky streaks placed me at a season end of 1500sr. I started out Season 5 in the 1100s, and have been climbing ever since (I’m in the 1400s now).

Advice given by friends when playing competitive is to play at least five games if you want to get better, to get practice.

I started out the day alright. 2 hard earned wins right off the bat. I reached my season high of 1496. Just needed that extra push to finally get the silver portrait, right?

Nah. The third game on Horizon, was a steamroll. On defense, we got wrecked with five minutes left on the clock. My team basically gave up. We had a leaver.

Not to be discouraged, I went into the fourth game. Eichenwalde. Again on defense, we got rolled. I usually play best on Zen and there was an Ana, but Ana swapped half way so in the end I solo healed as Mercy. Still didn’t really work out because we were all over the place and everyone kept swapping.

On attack, my team basically gave up. We had no tanks to start with, with Widow and Hanzo. Being the support I am, I tried to rally the team together, saying that snipers are alright as long as you get your picks. But you know, everyone was just being toxic and shouting and blaming each other.

And we actually steamrolled that first point. Really well. Just as quickly as the opposing team had got us. But… they wouldn’t stop quarreling. And that’s where it ended.

So, 2 wins, 2 losses. Back to square one. One last game, and I’ll call it a day. I was determined to not let this be my third loss.

Oasis. King of the Hill. That’s where my man Lucio comes in. And the team… well, we had Roadhog as a tank. Someone else played Zen. And 3 dps - McCree, Reaper and Genji.

Now, the Genji player was someone I played with in the first game, and we won. I played against them in the second, and I won (so they lost). I played against them again in the third, and they won. So, they’re pretty good.

As for the opposing team, three of them were the exact same toxic people from the fourth game who really screwed the team up. I really, really wanted to not slip up here.

And guess what? We were good. Like, really good. We won the first team fight easy, and held all the way till 60%.

Then our Roadhog disconnected.

5v6, we lost, but when our Hog came back, we captured it again. Bad luck caused us to lose the point at 99%, and we lost the round on Overtime (99 to 99).

And then as usual, these dps bronze babies started throwing shit at each other.

The Reaper and McCree (but mainly the McCree) kept dissing the Genji, and as usual they kept squabbling over who got gold elims, gold damage, that kind of nonsense, calling the other a liar when they said they had gold (guess what geniuses, two people can have gold elims when they have killed the exact same people which just means you’re both equally good!). It was getting really toxic.

And then the Roadhog disconnected again.

And Zen swapped off to Soldier.

So now we were 4dps, and 1 support - me. The babysitter Lucio. We got rolled in the second round. I expressed my frustration and disbelief, because it was about two minutes and Hog didn’t return. Genji asked me if it was my first time - of course it wasn’t, it was the third time in a row where toxic teammates were costing the match.

And then, get this. 5v6, with 4dps and 1 support - an absolutely shitty composition - we won the third round. Our final player didn’t come back, and we won. We steamrolled it. They didn’t even get the point.

Which just proved my earlier point - mechanically, our team was that much superior. I’ve never seen such a large gap in pure mechanical skill between two teams - as though someone was smurfing (both teams’ SR was about the same). It’s almost as though they were competing to see who could kill more, and amazingly didn’t need me to pocket heal them. They could get picks, flank, win team fights with zero coordination. The heck? I wasn’t going to lose a game we could have so easily won.

I tried to rally them. I really did. Kept saying that we needed to work together and stop name calling and we could really win - which was what mattered in the end. But the babies. Wouldn’t. Stop.

Fourth round. We got the point first, and held until sub 40%. And then we lost it. I thought it was going to be the end.

Then, all of a sudden, our Hog reconnected. They came back as Reinhardt - a proper tank.

I literally screamed in relief. We were back in business.

The next team fight? We won without a single ult. We capped the fourth round. 6v6, there was no way we were losing.

And then, they finally got the point. We could win this. Genji literally said “okay fine, we’ll stop comparing. let’s do this”.

We did. Last round was the same map as our first. Like the third round, we stomped the opposing team. It was the realest comeback that never needed to happen.

We won.

After all the gg and wp and me putting on my biggest Lucio grin “told you guys we could do it”, it was over. I was so exhausted. Imagine having a team of star players (or at least, as good as they get in bronze), watching them crumble before your eyes for the stupidest of reasons, and trying to get them back together. Like, the odds were stacked so much in our favour and we were going to throw them away? No way. 4dps and 1 healer and 1 tank is absolute rubbish. It should’ve never worked. But it did.

We won.

And that’s the most emotionally draining game of Overwatch I’ve ever played.

#overwatch #ow #support #lucio #bronze hell #i hate this shitty game so much but i still play it #why #babysitting

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thisdaynews · 6 years ago

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Cricket World Cup: Australia beat West Indies thanks to Coulter-Nile and Starc

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/cricket-world-cup-australia-beat-west-indies-thanks-to-coulter-nile-and-starc/

Cricket World Cup: Australia beat West Indies thanks to Coulter-Nile and Starc

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Cricket World Cup: Australia beat West Indies – highlights

ICC Men’s Cricket World Cup, Trent Bridge Australia 288 (49 overs):Coulter-Nile 92, Smith 73, C Brathwaite 3-67 West Indies 273-9 (50 overs):Hope 68, Holder 51, Starc 5-46 Australia won by 15 runs Scorecard; Table; Schedule

Australia recovered from an awful start to beat West Indies by 15 runs in a wonderful World Cup encounter at Trent Bridge.

A day where fortunes fluctuated throughout could have been over quickly when the ferocious West Indies pace attack reduced the defending champions to 38-4 and 79-5.

Australia were held together by the unflappable Steve Smith, who made 73 and was only dismissed by the most incredible boundary catch by Sheldon Cottrell, one that perhaps bettered the grab of England’s Ben Stokes in the opening game against South Africa.

By the time Smith was out, Nathan Coulter-Nile, batting at number eight, had already begun his power hitting in a 60-ball 92 that lifted Australia to 288 all out.

After Chris Gayle threatened to thrill in his 21, West Indies were anchored by Shai Hope’s 68.

The chase was ultimately left to captain Jason Holder, but both he and Carlos Brathwaite fell in the same over from Mitchell Starc, whose 5-46 helped restrict the Windies to 273-9.

Australia join New Zealand on two wins from two matches and move on to play India on Sunday.

West Indies, with one win and one defeat, take on South Africa on Monday.

World Cup schedule

Relive Australia’s win over West Indies – all the clips as they happened

Windies pace opens quality contest

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‘Good, fast, aggressive’ – Thomas claims Finch wicket

This was a high-quality contest that more than matched the expectancy generated by the meeting of perhaps the two most exciting pace attacks in the tournament.

Its distinct phases gave a little of everything: the determination of Smith, pyrotechnics of Coulter-Nile, the wonder of Cottrell’s catch, the drama of four overturned reviews in the West Indies innings and tension of the tight finish.

But none of that seemed likely when the West Indies pace bowlers, who steamrollered Pakistan on this ground last week, were threatening to dismantle Australia.

Cottrell, Oshane Thomas and Andre Russell do not simply bang the ball into the pitch and hope for the best – they have the skill to bowl aggressive bouncers that still, for the most part, remain within one-day cricket’s rules on short bowling.

Thomas induced a tentative poke from Aaron Finch, while Cottrell had David Warner caught at point and Glenn Maxwell top-edged a hook. Both of the left-armer’s wickets were celebrated with his trademark salute.

Usman Khawaja had been hit three times by the time he backed off and was brilliantly caught by wicketkeeper Hope off Russell and, when Marcus Stoinis pulled Holder to mid-wicket, Australia were in tatters.

World Cup table and stats – who’s on course for the semi-finals?

Same old Smith

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‘Wonderful cricket’ – Cottrell takes staggering catch to remove Smith

Unsurprisingly, Smith was booed to the crease. By the time his 103-ball innings was over, even the most ardent Smith-hater had to admire the way he kept his team afloat.

Or maybe it was not admiration. Maybe it was a realisation that a year-long ban for ball-tampering had done nothing to diminish the batsman that tortured England in the last Ashes down under and could yet do the same later this summer.

For this was the same old Smith, only in a yellow kit rather than whites. Unflustered by the short ball, able to turn any delivery through the leg side, scampering between the wickets, burning energy by constantly fidgeting with his kit.

It took something truly remarkable for Cottrell to dismiss him, the fielder making amends after slipping when trying to take a catch when Smith had only 26.

Smith’s leg-side whip was sailing over the long leg boundary when the sprinting Cottrell thrust out his left arm with the ball already hovering over the rope. Conscious that his momentum would carry him over, Cottrell threw the ball into the air and returned to the playing area to take the catch.

Even Smith paused on his way back to the pavilion to watch the replay on the big screen.

The former skipper’s resistance allowed Coulter-Nile, who was dropped at deep mid-wicket by Shimron Hetmyer on 61, to pepper the leg side with some clean striking.

His four sixes completed the recovery and, aided by 24 runs conceded in wides, Australia had just enough.

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‘The ball hit the stumps’ – Gayle escapes being given out twice in three balls

Superb Starc seals it

Gayle had already taken the plaudits of the crowd with his antics in the field, and Trent Bridge was willing him on as he threatened to outdo Coulter-Nile.

In one Starc over he overturned being given caught behind and lbw, both to incredible cheers, but Starc eventually pinned him with the full length and pace that made the left-armer so effective on the day.

In the face of Australia’s own brand of aggression, Hope’s 68 was patient and Nicholas Pooran’s 40 laced with class.

But, after Hope chipped Pat Cummins to mid-on, it was left to West Indies’ dynamic lower-order hitters to try to complete an increasingly tight chase.

Holder twice reversed being given out lbw to lever his way to a run-a-ball half-century that was supported by hitting from Russell and Brathwaite.

However, the brilliant Starc returned to have Brathwaite hole out and Holder miscue to short fine leg and the game – this great game – was up.

Quiz: Name the bowlers to take a five-wicket haul at 2015 World Cup

Feature: Brian Lara’s 501 not out, 25 years on

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When the chips are down – fan drops food trying to take catch

‘This competition is wide open’ – what they said

Australia captain Aaron Finch:“We just kept hanging in there. We were able to fight back through Alex Carey and Steve Smith getting us a bit deeper. Then for Nathan Coulter-Nile to play the way he did was exceptional.

“We’ve always felt he had the ability to do something like that and this time he had the opportunity to bat a bit longer.

“I absolutely was nervous. At 38-4 and they keep coming hard at you – we just had to keep hanging in there and to get 288 in the end was outstanding.”

West Indies skipper Jason Holder:“I thought we were well in the game, just a few irresponsible shots when we probably needed to tap it around a bit more.

“To bowl out Australia for 288, we would have taken that – I just think the batters need to take responsibility.

“We still believe we can win this competition, it’s wide open.”

BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew:“Australia will feel that after winning the game from where they were, they can beat anybody.”

And finally…

#Coulter-Nile #Starc

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