#fraysexual discourse

[flip-flopping-frede]

Update and disclaimer:

I have tried and have not finished going through the fraysexual hashtag. However, I have reported more posts as spam under this tag than I had to report as spam under the frayromantic tag. There are more polls too. Someone has tagged the history of the ace flag + word origin of the asexual label under the fraysexual tag…and then, these kinds of posts which are not fraysexual related get boosted under the fraysexual tag.

Tell me why the fraysexual community is supposed to care about asexual history when the ace community doesn’t care about the fraysexual community, makes no effort to raise awareness for the fraysexual community, and actively harms/makes it harder for the fraysexual community to get awareness by doing things like relabeling Asexual Spectrum Awareness Week to “ace week”? It’s frustrating bc you all seem to have no problem with demi awareness, inclusion, education, etc, which is why the demi option on these polls I am re blogging is so high.

Moving on, some other things I have noticed in the fraysexual tag so far is how people, particularly uneducated aces (it seems) will do things like “@/user” is an exclusionist! They believe [exclusionist rhetoric]. Or, I literally saw a post where someone was like “telling someone I was asexual was emotionally draining/hard enough for me. Now, I’m just grasping how vast the asexual spectrum is! Wow. Omg”. Posts like that aren’t fraysexual related and shouldn’t be tagged in the fraysexual label. Keep the fraysexual tag out of posts like that, because it comes across as “gawking” at fraysexuals and treating them like a zoo animal for being so different for you. Maybe if fraysexual awareness, inclusion, and education was normalized, grasping how diverse the asexual spectrum is (and why the ace community needs to do a better job with awareness for acespec labels) wouldn’t be such a surprise.

In other words, I reported a lot of posts as spam. Another thing that was lowkey pissing me off was the art. The only fraysexual art I had seen was bulk/collection posts, where they have tons of labels and do tons of tags, which ultimately boosts their posts. Although it was disheartening to see to posts like this as the only fraysexual art, I really didn’t like how fraysexual was portrayed as the last option, or sometimes even literally “smaller” than other acespec/aspec/queer art options. It really seems to be communicating a vibe of “insignificant” or how fraysexual was quite literally “barely included”, and is the first to be excluded (since it is the last option). How are fraysexuals supposed to feel pride in their identity when it’s treated like this? And if labels like asexual already have the privilege of having the most awareness out of all acespec labels, why are you making them the biggest, first, and most prominent option? When is the fraysexual community feeling included and welcome going to matter? When is pride in fraysexual going to matter? Can we stop spamming the fraysexual tag too on ace posts, while we are at it?

Bottom line: I haven’t witnessed any fraysexual pride (from fraysexuals) on tumblr. I have seen artists, sellers, and aces spamming the fraysexual tag with irrelevant or depressing content, which I have done my best to report those posts as spam so far. This culture needs to change; amplify fraysexual voices and fraysexual-focused art instead of focusing on the maximum number of notes for your blog.

Disclaimer: don’t harass anyone whose content I am reblogging. If they want to read my reblog, they will. Otherwise, it’s probably best to just accept these people don’t have empathy or don’t care about/value acespec/fraysexual awareness. Keep in mind 1) there’s still self-hatred about being asexual. Someone who hates themselves cannot uplift others in their community. 2) the garlic bread culture. There’s a non-serious, silly, “joke” culture that makes it difficult for aces to have serious discussions. Not saying this is an excuse for no acespec awareness or fraysexual exclusion; I am saying some people are not willing to listen or willing to have discussions like this. Do not harass anyone. You may agree or disagree with me on my blog.

[flip-flopping-frede]

Omg—the self awareness. I wish I had an image to show my appreciation.

Thank you so much for making this post and calling out the inequity in awareness! Absolutely, yes, the fraysexual label is excluded from awareness, and it is an inequity that is hurting the fraysexual community

💙🩵🤍🩶

You know what’s weird?

How demisexual is the most well-known acespec identity, but fraysexual is practically unheard of.

A demisexual, as many reading this may already know, is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction until they have an emotional bond with the person. Basically, they need to get to know the person first before sexual attraction kicks in.

Fraysexual, meanwhile, is the opposite of demisexual. Someone who is fraysexual experiences sexual attraction to someone they don’t know, but once they get to know the person, the sexual attraction goes away.

It makes sense for fraysexual and demisexual to be mentioned side by side. The problem is, fraysexuality just isn’t known. So people making educational posts and articles about demisexuality don’t even realize there’s an opposite of it to mention. Meaning more people are learning about demisexuals while fraysexuals remain unknown.

It makes me wonder. How many people have come across the word “demisexual,” thought “that sounds like me but in reverse,” and moved on, not even realizing there’s a term for that? 

And how did demisexual end up as well known as it is? My guess is the term existed before fraysexual but I’m surprised fraysexual didn’t jump up in popularity once it was coined. Or maybe there’s just more demis in the world than frays. Regardless, there needs to be more fraysexual awareness. Fraysexuals deserve love, validation, and awareness too.

So here’s to everyone coming across this term for the first time, happy to have discovered that there is an “opposite to demisexual.” Fraysexuals are just as valid as demisexuals, and vice versa.

(As an additional side note: If you ever find yourself wondering, “is there a term for ___ but reversed?,” there probably is. Sometimes you just gotta dig for it.)

[flip-flopping-frede]

You know how white women want black women to fight for abortion and other women’s rights. And black women have been leading and organizing the movement. And now, white women have failed black women by helping to vote for trump, and want black women to help them fight for abortion rights. And some black women have taken a step back and said “this is not our fight”?

I’m a lithromantic who doesn’t experience or see lithro awareness, education, acceptance, pride, positivity, art, representation, or anything for the lithro label. You know what I do see? Aro awareness, education, pride, acceptance, positivity, art, representation, etc. This is especially the case when it comes to the ace side of things as well.

I’ve witnessed how the aro community treats people like me. People who don’t want to feel bad about their ignorance on my identity non-consensually relabel my label as “microlabel” or “sub label” or “variant” or “type of aromantic” or “sub type”. You feel better about yourself when you attach and associate diminishing terms to my label, right? It’s easier for you to justify excluding labels like mine from awareness when my label is just a “type of aromantic” and “aro awareness is the only awareness that matters”.

No. As a lithromantic, I’m not ok with this culture of aros, aces, and aroaces “speaking over” and “speaking for” marginalized labels that don’t get awareness, like lithromantic. If you, as a label that has the privilege of having some awareness, are trying to “put my label down” by relabeling my label as a microlabel, or some other term with diminishing connotation (to boost your own awareness), you are hurting me and the lithro community from getting the awareness we deserve.

Hot take, but lithros deserve as much awareness, acceptance, pride, positivity, etc. as the aro community.

“The aro community includes everyone! The aro community includes you!” Yeah, that hyper-inclusive mindset of making aro the “poster label” is how I did not discover/realize I was lithro until about a year after being involved in the aroace community/aspec side of social media.

People in the Acommunity, especially fellow aspecs, need to recognize how diverse the Acommunity is.

I’m slowly starting to see more awareness and acceptance for being aromantic allosexual, or aroallo. What I’m not seeing is awareness or acceptance for aspec labels that experience romantic or sexual attraction, particularly primary attraction. I would say that even some people who use the demi/grey labels aren’t helping.

There are people who are so desperate to experience romantic attraction that they convince themself they might be demi/grey. Because they suffer with internalized arophobia being aromantic. I’m unsure what the grey label is exactly, but I believe it is experiencing attraction, rarely, weakly, or under certain circumstances. And demis typically only experience secondary attraction. My point is, it is easy for greys and demis to “fit” into the aro, ace, or aroace labels. Especially when demis are able find themselves in a long term relationship with someone they were able to experience attraction to, they can have a “happily ever after”, and no longer necessarily affected by aro, ace, or aroace struggles.

Another hot take is that I feel it can be really easy for demis to perpetuate amatonormativity. Because, for them, it is a matter of finding someone they connect with and being in/entering a traditional allo relationship after that. I have only seen blatant use their identity to perpetrate, justify perpetuating amatonormativity once, however, I strongly think the demi community especially needs to be educated on amatonormativity.

For me, I experience romantic attraction, but I can’t with romantic relationships. Getting romantically involved with someone is usually a very painful experience for me. I understand how bad it is pressure someone into a romantic relationship.

I feel like my experiences as a lithromantic should matter, and I feel like my label, lithromantic, and other labels that experience primary attraction, like frayromantic and fraysexual, are worthy of more awareness. This one sided, inequal awareness for labels that experience secondary attraction (demiromantic/demisexua), or rare/weak/only under certain circumstances attraction (greyromantic/greysexual) is obvious exclusion aspec labels that experience primary attraction. And it’s hurting people/these communities. How are you supposed to accept yourself or your identity when the aro/ace/aroace don’t see your labels as worthy of awareness, and actively try to diminish your identity by attaching diminishing, “othering” descriptors to your labels, like “variant” or “sublabel” or “microlabel”?

[goldenrdkin]

{{ Welcome to the Den }}

(redo-ing this cause the last pinned post was getting old and a pain to edit)

Hello! I'll be your Red Death host for tonight! I go by a few different names; Suvrayrth (main name), Xiranoida, Legosi, and Papyrul. My pronouns are xe/him.

I'm a polymorph fictotherian, otherlinker, and host for the Fang System!

-{ About Me }-

In simplest terms, I'm LGBTQ+, MOGAI, radqueer, paraphiliac, and everything I mentioned above. I'm also proship/profic/anti-anti (anything else that means "anti-harassment" lmao-).

↠ Ignotigender, masc-enby presentation ↠ Aromantic, omnisexual, fraysexual, polyamorous, medusan ↠ My 'types*: Fyirkin, Red-Deathkin, Changewingkin, Legosikin (manga), Papyrulkin, Montylink, Beekith (Bombus impatiens), Hobgobblerkith *Sourcemates and dupes are free to interact! ↠ Social anxiety, autism, ADHD, carpel tunnel, transage (23), transIBS ↠ Adipophiliac, biastophiliac, klismaphiliac, maiesiophiliac, vorarephiliac ↠ Eclectic Norse Pagan and ex-Baptist Christian

-{ About this Blog }-

As to be expected, I'm likely to post about anything relevant to my own identity and current communities.

↠ I will discuss topics such as LGBTQ+, plurality, otherkinity, radqueer, and paraphilias*, but this blog won't be limited to these. *All paraphilia content I'll post here will be SFW. It'll mostly be discussions or explanations for said paraphilias, nothing explicit. ↠ I try to stay out of discourse, but I cannot guarantee anything. As much as I don't like conflict, I'm also rather passionate about certain subjects. ↠ I may also post my art and writing on occasion. ↠ I use tone tags rather frequently. If you're uncomfortable or wary of tone tags, please keep this in mind! ↠ I will not tolerate any discrimination, harassment, hate-speech, or anything with the intent to harm on this blog. My blog is a safe space for freaks and weirdos /p, much like myself.

-{ Blog Tags }-

Older posts may not be up-to-date with these current tags. If it's of concern to you or others, please let me know so I can edit them! /gen

#kin.suv : Otherkinity posts (this includes 'links and 'kiths) #plural.suv : Plurality posts #queer.suv : LGBTQ+ posts (this includes MOGAI and radqueer) #faith.suv : Posts involving religion, faith, beliefs, or practices #draw.suv : Posts containing art pieces (my own, specifically) #write.suv : Posts containing written pieces (stories, brainstorming, etc...) #game.suv : Posts involving games, specifically video games #talk.suv : General chatting, usually miscellaneous topics #cry.suv : Vents or any posts with emotional topics #roar.suv : Updates and important posts (personal and blog) #adult.suv : Posts involving adult-content (this includes kinks, fetishes, paraphilias, and anything suggestive)

[flip-flopping-frede]

I want to try an experiment.

Pretend you are fraysexual. This is just an exercise; don’t overthink it. So, you are fraysexual. You search the fraysexual tag on tumblr, and this is one of the top posts, and one of the only art posts with a fraysexual flag. (Incase you don’t know, the fraysexual flag is the blue, light blue, white, and gray flag. 💙🩵🤍🩶

Do you notice where the fraysexual flag is? Again, this is one of the top pieces of art content under the tag. The fraysexual design is dead last.

Not only is it dead last, 1, fraysexual’s opposite, demisexual, is prominently featured as a larger size, along with other labels that frequently get awareness, like the asexual and greysexual labels.

The demisexual label is a label for people who experience secondary sexual attraction. The fraysexual is a label for people who experience primary sexual attraction. Making a label for acespecs who experience secondary attraction prominent, in addition to providing 2 options, and presenting the opposite (fraysexual) as dead last, smaller, and only having one option, is blatant inequality in how these directly connected acespec labels are presented.

Back to our exercise. Do you, as a fraysexual, feel empowered by this post? Does this post make you feel pride in your identity as a fraysexual person? Friendly reminder this is how this author (and others) see you and your community. Insignificant, small, not worth a second design, probably wouldn’t give a second thought if they didn’t include you.

The reason why I get so frustrated by this is because these posts get boosted to the top of the tag because they get so much engagement. When in reality, I would argue posts like this are harmful to the fraysexual community and directly contribute to a lack of fray pride.

Apparently, people are reading my posts, and I am not venting into the void. Dear author, if you read this, thank you for taking the time to create designs for so many labels. I never report any art I see as spam. I think any and all fraysexual art is precious.

With that being said, if you have the time and energy, it would be much better to do an individual, fraysexual-only focused post for any fraysexual art you do. It’s not just your art; I’m only using your art as an example. All of the fraysexual art I have seen so far has been bulk/collection posts like this that have been boosted to the top of the tag. Art that is not fraysexual focused, or even seems to be fraysexual “un-focused”, can be depressing and make it harder for fraysexuals to have pride in their identity. Fraysexual isn’t just a name on the list to check off so you get the maximum number of engagement or seem like an inclusive platform; fraysexuals are real people who exist and struggle with having any pride in being fraysexual. Asexual, demisexual, greysexual, and aegosexual are not “more important” than other labels. The alloromantic asexual flag (that is never used by aces; they just use the ace flag) and aroace flag (which got 2 options) are not more important than fraysexual on an acespec focused post.

Thank you for creating art for so many labels, and also, please consider being mindful of things when you are creating art for a diverse community that has inequalities in awareness and discrimination of some labels within the community.

💜 Happy Ace Week! 💜

Have a master post of all my ace-spec pokemon stickers. I’m always looking to add more on, so suggestions are welcome.

If you would like to support a queer artist, you can find these designs here!

[frazelforever]

Y’all. It’s 2022. I don’t need ace and aro discourse on my dash. Asexual can be used as an umbrella term for those on the spectrum. Same goes for aromantic. If you are questioning, identify as such if you want! Oh you’re demi? Of course you can use the flag! You’re some other label? Yeah, I’d love for you to use our flag! Don’t gatekeep our own community. Aromantic/asexual can define anyone who doesn’t experience romance/sex the same way allos do.

[local-mysterys]

I saw a post a little while ago and it was on micro labels surrounding the aro/ace spectrum/community and it was called frayromantic? (I know micro labels are a controversial topic in the lgbt community but still just hear me out) I think that’s how it’s spelt? It was a while ago so don’t quote me on that for sure. But it said it meant: (to sum it up) developing feelings for people you don’t know well and loosing the feelings as you get to know them. And honestly at this point that may be me... like the minute I get to know a person well when I find them cute or “like” them, I loose interest... and one of my friends the other day on a call when I had informed her I had lost interest in a guy I had found cute in school, had said she thought something was wrong with me; because I never have feelings for someone for more then like 2 weeks or so, if I’ve gotten to know them as more then and aquatintence or stranger that just find cute.. except for one girl I liked last year but even then I didn’t know her super well, like we were friends but we didn’t know each other’s life stories and stuff.. so idk.. maybe I just haven’t met someone that is right for me yet? Or maybe I’m not that I’m not that lable? Or maybe something is just wrong with me, like trama or just my trust issues popping out?.. Idk... it’s just I can’t help it; but I want to love someone, and be in a relationship with someone so badly but it never seems to last..

I hope I didn’t offend anyone, any amazing people in the aro/ace community are so so so valid!! I’m just confused with myself atm is all..

[flip-flopping-frede]

No hate to the author, this post is for educational purposes only.

This post seems like a great example of hyper-inclusion in the ace community. Not only are fraysexuals not mentioned in the post (just tagged), but it’s only the ace flag. Not everyone, especially acespecs that experience frequent, strong sexual attraction, feel represented by the asexual flag. Asexual-only awareness the only the asexual flag doesn’t actually result in fraysexual education or awareness. It’s hyper-inclusion and hurting the fraysexual community.

Happy Ace Week to my fellow aces!! Whether you're asexual, demisexual, greysexyal, aceflux, or anywhere on the spectrum, this is your week to celebrate! I first realized I was asexual when I saw the definition somewhere, looked it up, and was like "oh..I thought that was everyone?". Shoutout to younger me who thought I was "too mature" to be interested in boys like that, and who thought sexual attraction was a big joke everyone was in on. It made me feel kind of ostracized from the people around me, but finding a community full of people like me was amazing. Happy Ace Week, and don't let anyone tell you that you're invalid! Sex repulsed aces, sex favorable aces, and sex neutral aces, you are all asexual and all valid <3

[had-to-pick-a-fight]

Okay but after that one exclusionist going "if being demi was a thing along with the ace spectrum, everyone would be on it in some way" and honestly... would that really be such a bad thing?

Would people thinking about how they experience sexual and romantic attraction instead of a specific culture telling them that it all just works one way be ultimately better? Wouldn't it lead to a better self understanding? We may even see people getting into relationships they don't want to be in less, since it wouldn't be abnormal not to feel something towards the person. It could also provide for better communication among your significant other.

If being on the ace or aro spectrum would be truly normal, then why reject the terms that can be used to better describe yourself and others? Why would you have this disdain for them?

And honestly I'm not saying this as someone going "being gray ace or aro is 'normal' so they shouldn't be included in the lgbt+ community" because I think that if you don't face issues related to your sexuality, gender, and/or birth sex, then you're not going to really seek out support. That the people who do obviously have faced shit, whether directly or not, and should have a space here.

I'm saying this as someone who knows that society will find these differences in romantic and sexual attraction to be odd and as someone who wants to normalize it. Hell, I personally identify as demisexual myself.

If anyone wants to add opinions it's fine. I haven't thought about everything, especially with wondering if it'll be a radical change or wiping ace identity away when I don't want to do that.

[moonstruck-starry-eyed]

Aromantic Awareness Week-Day 2

For day 2, I drew Aiyana and Roni, the personifications of fraysexuality and aromanticity respectively, that I made for ace awareness week!

Aiyana is native american, and Roni is latin. Roni is also nonbinary!

[flip-flopping-frede]

No hate to the creator, this is for educational purposes only.

I like seeing fraysexual included and first, and also frayromantic included. Not going to lie though, this is still technically a bulk/collection post, and fraysexual is will labels I’ve never seen before, and probably will never see again. It feels like the author is communicating that they see and treat the fray labels as microlabels, which feels…off-putting? And mixing up gender identity with, not just romantic orientation and sexual orientation, but arospec orientation and acespec orientation, seems really confusing.

This author unfortunately didn’t take the time to provide fray awareness either. Kind of a meh post ultimately? It kind of feels like fray was excluded from an aspec version of these, and is being included here with the “outcasts” or “misfits” just so the author can check a box that “technically they did include the fray labels”.

I know this post wasn’t a serious post by any memes, but I really think creators need to be more mindful of the way they are presenting marginalized labels, like the fray labels.

[ID: Six pixel hearts of various flags in order being, fraysexual, frayromantic, mspec, zombofloric, inviveila and komorebic. End ID]

[flip-flopping-frede]

How do you advocate for something that doesn’t even exist, lol. How do you advocate for awareness of an identity that gets no awareness? I have no statistics, oppression, or evidence of erasure because there is no awareness in the first place. So far, I have believed I need community organization and community support/community unity to accomplish anything, but…how do you organize and foster support for a community that hates itself?

Lithros, frayros, and fraysexuals, you have to want awareness too.

Self-pity, hating yourself, hating being lithro/fray is not going to result in change. It is ok to not like being lithro/fray. It is ok if you can find 0 good things about being this way. However, please understand that we are misunderstood and lack community because people with platforms who can raise awareness for us choose not to. They blatantly exclude lithros/frayros from awareness, which hurts us. Awareness is essential for education on our label (people discovering themselves) and acceptance (which is seems our community desperately needs—to be ok with being lithro/fray).

Please care about this.

[ashcourse-blog]

My A-spec Experience.

Dear exclusionists and aphobes,

My name is Ash, and I am demisexual. I have identified as a-spec since I was 12, after coming across asexuality via a Tumblr positivity post about specifically aces and aros. I was so happy. I had finally found something that I could resonate with, and it made me so excited to know that there were others out there like me. 

Now, because exclusionist Tumblr was not as prominent then as it is today (from my personal experience), I never came across any aphobic posts that discouraged me from identifying as asexual. So I carried on, proud to be ace. I quit using Tumblr due to personal reasons for a couple years, so when I came back (at around 14-15), I was expecting the same positive vibes and welcoming arms from everyone. 

I was wrong.

Aphobes and exclusionists were flooding the tags with horrible aphobic material and nasty call-outs about how a-specs didn’t belong in the LGBTQIAPD+ community. There were many that actually discounted some a-spec identities as “fake” or “attention-seeking”. I was hurt. I was sickened. I was sad. I remember crying myself to sleep that night, hating myself for who I was. 

I experienced internalized aphobia for a while after that. I had immense difficulty struggling to accept myself, and I was definitely discouraged from identifying as ace.

Until I attended my school’s GSA. My counselor, who I was out as ace to, informed me of the club during my sophomore year of high school, and at first, I was against the idea, saying that I wasn’t sure if I’d be accepted as LGBT+ there, but she assured me that everyone there was very friendly and inclusive.

I timidly attended my first meeting at the GSA, and everyone was so excited to see a new face. My social anxiety prohibited me from interacting with anyone at the time, but over the course of a few weeks, I slowly warmed up and came out of my shell. However, when I was chatting with a few of the members in a little “friend circle”, someone asked me what I identified as. I froze. I panicked. I almost started to cry. I was so scared that the people who were criticizing my identity on Tumblr were right in front of me at that very moment. Then it came out of my mouth suddenly, without warning.

“I’m asexual.”

I did it. I said it. I was out as ace to near strangers at school. I wanted to run away, but something stopped me. I stayed. I was expecting backlash. I was expecting hate. 

But they accepted me like I was one of their own. And I was. I was LGBTQ+. And I still am. But the point being, I felt free. I felt like I could finally be myself.

But my identity was bound to change, as all identities are. When one of the girls in my GSA said she was demi, I got curious. I asked her what she meant by that, and she explained demisexuality and demiromanticism to me like it was common knowledge. I was pleasantly shocked to know that, hey, there IS an asexual spectrum, and it ISN’T just black-and-white. When I said I wanted to learn more about it, she was happy to oblige, and I discovered that there were TONS of asexual identities out there, not just aro and ace.

I started to think about my label a bit more that night. Was I really asexual or was I something more than that? After a while of thinking of myself with that term, I became more and more comfortable with myself. And I rejoiced. I’d finally figured it out.

I am demisexual.

But that’s not where the story ends. 

Just a couple weeks ago I came out to my “best friend” as demi. I thought we were friends. I thought I knew everything about her. I thought she was a good person. I thought I loved her (as a friend).  But I was met with the same aphobia as what I’d previously experienced on this hellsite a while back: “Demisexual isn’t a thing” “It’s just a glorified term for straight” “You just want to be special” “You’re not LGBT” “You’re broken” And she cut off all contact with me (she was a long-distance friend).

I was hurt. I felt broken. And I’m still wounded today. But after coming back to Tumblr with a brand new account and blocking/ignoring as many exclusionist blogs as possible, I felt a little bit better. Especially after seeing all the a-spec positivity blogs everywhere in the discourse tag. (We can do this!)  Now, I’m not out to my parents. They only see me as asexual. I’m much too afraid to tell them that I’m demi. 

But I AM demi and I’m PROUD.

Now, before I wrap this post up, I just wanted to clear something over. Yes, I AM heteroromantic. Yes, I AM demiHETEROsexual. But that does NOT make me ANY less LGBTQ+. Don’t you DARE say that, especially after reading this post, that I am NOT a part of the community. Aphobia and asexual oppression/discrimination is VERY real, especially in today’s sexualized society, where if you don’t find “so and such” celebrity “hot” at first glance, then there’s something wrong with you.

I hope any a-spec person reading this has found some sort of hope. I hope they’re having a good day.

EVERYONE on the a-spec is beautiful and valid, and 100000% LGBTQ+.

Exclusionists and aphobes, kiss my demisexual ass.

love, Ash <3

[honey-makes-mogai]

[Image ID: A MOGAI flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors in order are: red, blue-orange, yellow, white, light gray, gray, dark gray. In the center is the word "Litho-" in large black text. /End ID]

Litho-gender -

[PT: Litho-gender -]

A gender related to being Lithosexual, Lithoromantic, etc!

[Image ID: A MOGAI flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors in order are: blue, blue-teal, teal, white, light gray, gray, dark gray. In the center is the word "Fray-" in large black text. /End ID]

Fray-gender -

[PT: Fray-gender -]

A gender related to being Fraysexual, Frayromantic, etc!

[Banner ID: A pastel yellow banner with a sunflower on either side. In brown text with a white outline, it says "- Please let me know if this has been coined before! -" /End ID.] [DNI transcript: "-DNI- Basic criteria, anti-mogai, proshippers, ableists, aphobes, racists, zoophiles, rpf shippers, fandom discourse, under 13, transid/transx". /End transcript.]

[flip-flopping-frede]

No hate to the original author.

Hot take but aces spam tagging acespecs that experience sexual attraction and obnoxiously/rhetorically asking what sexual attraction feels like, feels dehumanizing.

The fraysexual tag doesn’t exist for people to take advantage of. I don’t know if there’s a replay to respectfully ask this question, but it feels really dehumanizing to strip someone down to their orientation/label. You are asking a very marginalized group to educate you; meanwhile, do you make any effort to raise awareness for these groups? For fraysexuals? To include fraysexual in your acespec education?

Last year, I learned about reproductive health/puberty. We had a box where we could submit questions about reproductive health. Everyone would put stuff like: “how do periods work” or “why do boys grow for longer periods of time”.

MEANWHILE MY QUESTIONING ASS WOULD BE ASKING STUFF LIKE: “AT WHAT AGE DO YOU REALIZE YOURE ASEXUAL” OR “WHAT DOES SEXUAL ATTENTION FEEL LIKE”.

I DEADASS NEVER GOTTEN AN EXACT ANSWER, BUT I THINK I STARTED TO ANSWER MY OWN QUESTIONS OVERTIME…

I’m kinda wondering, is there any other asexual/ace-spec people out there who went through a similar experience? Probably most of y’all are way older than me, so I’m kinda curious.

[goldenrdkin]

Welcome to my Den!

(THIS INTRO POST IS OUT-DATED! The new intro should be pinned, check that one out instead!)

Hello! I’ll be your Red Death host for tonight. I prefer to be called Suvrayrth, but Xiranoida, Legosi, or Papyrul works too. I use xe/him pronouns! I’m a polymorph fictotherian, ‘linker, and the host/core of my endogenic system.

{{ ABOUT ME }}

↠ I’m ignotian! It’s a MOGAI term that I originally coined on Kinmunity (before it was, unfortunately, shut down again).

↠ I’m VERY queer; aromantic, omnisexual, fraysexual, polyamorous, and medusan.

↠ I’m ‘kin/’link/’hearted; Fyirkin (Xiranoida), Red-Deathkin, Changewingkin, Legosikin, Papyrulkin, Montylink, Beekith (Bombus impatiens), and Hobgobblerkith!

↠ ↠  Sourcemates are free (and encouraged) to interact!  ↠ ↠  Dupes are cool too!! /gen

↠ I’m neurodivergent; social anxiety, autism (self dx), and ADHD (self dx). Please use tone tags with me whenever possible!

↠ I’m eclectic Norse Pagan and ex-Baptist Christian.

{{ ABOUT THIS BLOG }}

↠ Obviously, I will discuss topics such as LGBTQ+, plurality, and otherkinity (especially my sources), but this blog will not be limited to those.

↠ I try to stay out of discourse, but I cannot guarantee anything, considering I’m very passionate about certain subjects.

↠ I may also post my art or writing on occasion.

↠ Keep in mind, I will use tone tags when necessary or I see fit!

↠ I will not tolerate any discrimination, harassment, hate-speech, or anything with the intent to harm on this blog. This is a safe space for all, and I mean all.

{{ BLOG TAGS }}

Older posts may not be up-to-date with tags, so please keep that in mind!

#kin.suv : Otherkinity posts (this includes ‘links and ‘kiths). #plural.suv : Plurality posts. #queer.suv : LGBTQ+ posts. #faith.suv : Posts involving religion, faith, or practices. #draw.suv : Posts containing art pieces (my own, specifically). #write.suv : Posts containing written pieces (stories, brainstorming...) #game.suv : Posts involving games, specifically video games. #talk.suv : General chatting, no specific topic. #cry.suv : Vents, any posts with emotional topics. #roar.suv : Update/important posts (personal and blog). #adult.suv : Posts involving adult-content (this includes kinks, fetishes, and anything sexual). MINORS, BLOCK THIS TAG!

With that out of the way, I wish you all a wonderful day/night! 🤎💛