#demi discourse

[flip-flopping-frede]

Omg—the self awareness. I wish I had an image to show my appreciation.

Thank you so much for making this post and calling out the inequity in awareness! Absolutely, yes, the fraysexual label is excluded from awareness, and it is an inequity that is hurting the fraysexual community

💙🩵🤍🩶

You know what’s weird?

How demisexual is the most well-known acespec identity, but fraysexual is practically unheard of.

A demisexual, as many reading this may already know, is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction until they have an emotional bond with the person. Basically, they need to get to know the person first before sexual attraction kicks in.

Fraysexual, meanwhile, is the opposite of demisexual. Someone who is fraysexual experiences sexual attraction to someone they don’t know, but once they get to know the person, the sexual attraction goes away.

It makes sense for fraysexual and demisexual to be mentioned side by side. The problem is, fraysexuality just isn’t known. So people making educational posts and articles about demisexuality don’t even realize there’s an opposite of it to mention. Meaning more people are learning about demisexuals while fraysexuals remain unknown.

It makes me wonder. How many people have come across the word “demisexual,” thought “that sounds like me but in reverse,” and moved on, not even realizing there’s a term for that? 

And how did demisexual end up as well known as it is? My guess is the term existed before fraysexual but I’m surprised fraysexual didn’t jump up in popularity once it was coined. Or maybe there’s just more demis in the world than frays. Regardless, there needs to be more fraysexual awareness. Fraysexuals deserve love, validation, and awareness too.

So here’s to everyone coming across this term for the first time, happy to have discovered that there is an “opposite to demisexual.” Fraysexuals are just as valid as demisexuals, and vice versa.

(As an additional side note: If you ever find yourself wondering, “is there a term for ___ but reversed?,” there probably is. Sometimes you just gotta dig for it.)

[friedwizardwhispers]

The apothecary diaries is not a in the romance genre.

However there is a romance in it, you don't have to like it but you also can't deny it.

The main tension of the entire series so far is about whether or not Jinshi will become emperor and Maomao will become his empress (we don't want that for either of them). They are the main relationship of the books.

Maybe let people who like the romance aspect (which again is very much there, the Light novels are pretty explicit about it) live theirs life ?

[faewrenbird]

Rant Incoming:

TW// acephobia

The acephobia surrounding Lucanis now isn’t surprising, but damn I am so tired

God forbid a character isn’t made to cater to the audience at large, huh?

Ace people clearly aren’t “in reality,” or “living.” Oh, and we’re clearly not “ordinary,” right?

The entitlement some people have is truly staggering. Lucanis’s writer confirmed that he was written to be a demisexual/demiromantic virgin. If something about his character and/or romance dissuades you from liking him, then consider that he’s not the right romance option for you OR go to AO3 and dunk yourself in fanfics where he’s the epitome of the Spanish Lover™️ trope.

The issue here is a player wanting to project onto Rook and being upset that their Rook doesn’t get the attention or romance that they personally want. Which, fine, we can’t help what we feel. But this isn’t the writers’ fault (this poster was in damn near every one of Mary Kirby’s posts complaining about Lucanis not being passionate and etc.) And it’s not an excuse to express wanting to take representation away from a group for which representation was purposely given.

*To be clear, I’m not commenting on the substance of his romance or number of lines or on the Neve/Lucanis vs Rook/Lucanis debate

I’m speaking specifically to the acephobia that has emerged after learning that he is, indeed, demi, something that ace people suspected already and related to

Let us have this

[sad-endings-suck]

some of you are once again getting too comfortable disproportionally headcanon-ing disabled and neurodivergent characters as ace and demi-sexual without examining why you always seem to do so.

[joanofexys]

pssst friendly reminder that the only canon label we have for Neil's sexuality is demi (aspec) and that he's otherwise unlabeled. hc what you want but stop trying to push it as canon or putting it over his only canon label.

i'm tired of seeing y'all erase aspecness as a valid sexuality and always feeling the need to pair it with another identity as if aspec people aren't valid just identifying as aspec and also erasing us from the conversation entirely

[iheartbookbran]

i cackled before the season came out and everyone was freaking out about the brothel scenes because they wanted demi!Colin and now the possibility was lost forever, when it was precisely the brothel scenes (+ the diary bit) which cemented demi!Colin to canon prosperity!

[sick-but-fighting-cat]

taking my beloved low empathy main characters that keep getting hated on and... and i'm leaving w them!! no more of them for u meanie haters!!! if u dont like them just go away >:(

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

neil josten is demisexual, and, i argue, demiromantic too. he said he didn't swing because he was never allowed to form any meaningful contact with anyone outside of his mom. but he was aware he was capable of attraction. that is why he is demi. i love Nora, she gave demi people recognition in a time where everyone was very hostile to asexual people in general (tbf they still are hostile because people are fucking idiots) and i think it's beautiful

[saveahorserideaneddie]

shifting gears away from 9-1-1 and onto oscars discourse:

above is a list of every Best Actress winner over 40 from the past 25 years, and the age they turned the year that they won. Of those 25 ceremonies, 11 of them awarded a ‘mature’ actress

in the past 15 years, of the 15 actresses who won, only 5 winners were under the age of 40

while it’s true that this notion of hollywood hating in older women is definitely true and a real issue, the notion that it is perpetuated by the oscars is… honestly a but laughable

the reaction to demi moore’s loss has been very strange to me… the people upset the most are arguing that Mikey Madison (25)’s win somehow “proves The Substance right” are missing the fact that in the past two decades, there has been a majority of mature actresses taking home the good trophy; yet all i keep seeing tossed around is that “the oscars are ageist” “they only award younger actresses” “mikey madison didn’t deserve it because she’s too young”

i need yall to hold my hand when i tell you this- the whole point of The Substance was that talent doesn’t have an age, and that a balance of both older and younger is the only way to get what you want, but that that balance is unachievable due to the way society pits women of different ages against each other

if anything- the only thing proving the substance right are the people who are pissed at mikey’s win; you are watering her performance down to her age and her looks (ignoring the phenomenal performance she gave in anora), and creating this fake drama between her and demi moore, simply because demi didn’t win

now don’t get me wrong- i was pretty much firmly in the camp of demi or fernanda being my personal too choices, but even though i may be disappointed that neither of them won, i won’t discount mikey madison’s undeniable talent that she showcased in anora by giving into the societal pressure of having to “pick a side” in a fake conflict between two women of different ages. i can be happy for mikey’s win while simultaneously being disappointed that fernanda or demi didn’t take it, and the same goes for both if them! why are we putting words in this poor woman’s mouth when she has seemed nothing but genuinely happy for mikey (bc, you know, she’s actually a good person who understands it wasn’t personal after she quite literally swept the rest of the season)

at the end of the day, there has been a clear uptick in the amount of mature women winning the Best Actress oscar, not to mention the amount of mature women nominated which is its own separate uptick. the oscars are not ageist because your fav who happens to be over 40 didn’t win, and acting like they are only makes you look foolish, and actually brings attention away from the actual negative actions committed by the academy with this year’s ceremony.

[originalcrime]

just for fun my ‘would buddietommy fuck a femme twink?’* hcs

*assume for the sake of the question they are currently in a position to want/have casual sex

tommy—wouldn’t fuck a femme twink. not the body type he’s into. a femme twunk or a femme bear or something, though? yeah he’d be down

eddie—wouldn’t fuck a femme twink on account of he’s not in love with any femme twinks. but if he was? sure

buck—would fuck a femme twink no questions asked

[ravioliage]

I'm waiting for the "Bellara isn't good ADHD representation because she doesn't have a cutscene where she looks directly at the camera and talks about her ADHD with modern terms." discourse

[new-austin]

i go onto TikTok and immediately see bad ace discourse straight from 2014 Tumblr and I delete the app

[nyancreeperpony]

Hey Hazbin Tumblr can you do me a super small, eensie teensie favor and tag your Alastor Ship Discourse so I can block the tag and don't have to see it, thaaaanks :)

[frankie-bell]

Would love to hear more about your classification of Mika as bisexual demisexual. I get the bi part but really curious why you think she might also be demi??

I’m so glad you asked! As someone who falls on the ace spectrum, I’ve always been drawn to characters who read that way as well. The first time I watched Psycho-Pass, I didn’t think much of Mika’s sexuality. I did note that she’s probably bi, given that she seems to have crushes on both men (Ginoza) and women (Yayoi, Kagami), but that’s about it. Upon second viewing, however, I noticed a few key things that felt incredibly familiar to me.

The first is that Mika, unlike Akane, Kougami, or even Arata, doesn't seem to experience immediate sexual attraction. In PP1, it's clear that Akane is attracted to Kougami long before she gets to know him personally. A clear example of this can be found in the infamous sparring dummy scene, where she (quite literally) gets caught gaping at his bare chest. Then you've got Kougami, who falls quickly into a flirtatious back-and-forth with Frederica Hanashiro after she shows up in Tibet, looking to recruit him for SAD/MOFA. And finally, there's Arata. In addition to remarking upon Shion's beauty a whole five seconds after meeting her, he is immediately smitten with Governor Karina Komiya after conducting a brief interview with her. Mika, by comparison, seems utterly unaffected by other characters' perceived attractiveness, regardless of whether they're male (Shizuka Homura) or female (Rikako Oryo).

Which brings me to the crux of my argument. Throughout the series, Mika appears to have feelings for three characters -- Kagami, Yayoi, and Ginoza. The first is her childhood best friend, the second is the person who offered her comfort during one of the darkest moments of her life, and the third is her most trusted protector. Each and every person Mika develops romantic feelings for is someone she trusts implicitly and, perhaps more importantly, knows intimately. This is textbook demisexual behavior. Note how Mika's crush on Yayoi doesn't materialize until several years into their relationship. Same goes for Ginoza. In the beginning, Mika can't stand him. But time and experience change her perception, and by PP3, he’s her #1 confidant. It’s only then that we see her blushing, stammering, and losing her cool around him. She’s attracted to him *because* she knows him so well. For prototypical people, there’s a spark of sexual attraction upon first meeting someone, but for demisexual people, it’s the exact opposite. Attraction and desire are certainly possible, but only after a strong emotional bond is formed.

I also find it interesting that Mika seems to eschew physical contact, unless it’s with someone she feels incredibly close to/comfortable with. Case in point, the scene in Providence where Atsushi Shindo touches her. When she hid behind Gino, I was like, “How (demi)sexy of you.” Granted, this is just my personal headcanon, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

[hadescavedish]

I think John Silver discourse on Tumblr just differed by the fundamental understanding of the character; and given the blank space in canon, a lot of opinions had been projections, by which I also meant I myself wasn't immune. But still there was clear evidence such as in episode one in which his attention was entirely on the schedule, not the prostitutes. This man has problems with forming any romantic relationship, not just a homosexual one. The only way Madi succeeded was because she made the first move, she offered the hand, they spent entire season 3 just talk and stuff.

[desire-demon-wish]

The problem with Veilguard’s “every companion is pan” decision is not that it’s unrealistic for all of them to be pan or whatever, it’s that it isn’t written well and comes out insensitive. If you’re going to make all the companions the same sexuality, then you should at least craft it to be a unique of their identity. This was exactly the right time to be better than previous games and they fumbled it while still demanding we think them progressive for it.