#gentle parenting

[forestpixies]

no actually you’re either gentle parenting your child or you’re being emotionally and/or physically abusive to them, whether or not you’re aware of that.

because the term gentle parenting already includes discipline and teaching your kid right from wrong. gentle parenting doesn’t mean you can’t tell your kid no. it means you can tell them no when they do something they shouldn’t, but instead of punishing or yelling at them, you’re explaining and giving them reasons why they can’t do that, you are helping them learn and encouraging them to be better. gentle parenting means you’re using reasons built on mutual respect instead of anger. because yes, no matter how young your child is, they deserve respect too.

I’m sorry but most of the times when someone says they’re a strict parent, what it means is that they give their child childhood trauma that’ll last a lifetime, whether or not they’re aware of it. especially parents who brag to other people about how strict they are and how they punished their children.

and I’m sorry but saying you have a short temper is never an excuse to be emotionally and/or physically abusive towards your kid either.

“I yelled at you because I have a short temper” then why am I the one suffering? if you can’t control your anger, then get help. work on it. do better. be better.

also… your child standing up for themself against you, when you’re being abusive to them, isn’t them being disrespectful towards you. it means they are defending themself because you wouldn’t do that for them and so they had to step in and be their own protector.

if you’re a parent and can defend and stand up for yourself when you feel like you need to, but at the same time punish your kid when they stand up for themself against you, then you are the problem.

I was that child and I’m gonna make it as simple as I can for any parent out there — because no kid deserves to go through what I went through — imagine yourself owning a dog. really. you can either

a.) beat that dog whenever they do something wrong and simply take your anger out on them until they’re fully submissive and are terrified of you

or

b.) train them with love and gentleness and earn their love and loyalty in return

now imagine both A and B dogs on leashes and imagine them no longer being on leashes one day. which dog do you think will run away as far as they can and never look back, and which one do you think will stay because they love and want to be with their owner?

[audhdnight]

Spanking is to parenting what prisons are to criminal justice. Allow me to elaborate:

What does spanking do? “It teaches kids to behave!” Actually, no. It teaches kids to fear their caregiver(s). But say we go with that line. How does spanking teach kids to behave? “It shows them the consequences of bad actions!” Actually, no. It shows kids that when the caregiver is displeased, the kid gets hurt. In the mind of the child, the sequence of events is not [misbehave:consequence]. It is [caregiver unhappy:pain]. And maybe you’ll say “But my kid stopped mouthing off after I started spanking them for it”. Okay, sure. Maybe they stopped responding when you argue, but only because the learned to fear what their response would bring. They’re not holding their tongue because they realized it’s disrespectful or rude or whatever else you believe it is. They’re holding their tongue because they know it won’t do any good and will only make the situation worse for them. I can guarantee they are still thinking all those rebellious naughty talk-backy thoughts. They just aren’t saying them out loud. Spanking did not teach your child to behave, it taught them to walk on eggshells.

Similarly, prisons do absolutely nothing to enforce laws. Prisons do nothing to fix the real crimes that do get committed. A shooter or rapist or embezzler being incarcerated does not bring their victim back to life, un-traumatize them, or make reparations for any damages. Additionally, it makes life a living hell for the innocent people who end up in jail (OF WHICH THERE ARE A HELL OF A LOT). And maybe you might say that the point of prison is to encourage good behavior, because no one wants to go to jail. I would ask, then, why there are so many prisons, of which so many are full or overcrowded. Clearly, the threat of incarceration is not keeping people out of jail. Additionally, much like a child who was spanked being afraid to do normal things in their own home for fear of displeasing their caregiver, regular non-criminal people are afraid of prison, even though they have done nothing wrong. They know they could be incarcerated because of falsified evidence, biased testimonies, unfair trial, or simply bigotry. Especially people of color. Even though they haven’t done anything wrong, they are scared of what could happen to them if the person in power (police) was unhappy with them.

Negative consequences unrelated to the actual incident do not discourage “bad behavior”. Just like a child who is spanked will simply learn to be sneakier, a thief who goes to jail will simply cover their tracks better next time.

Stop spanking your kids, and abolish prisons. Have a nice day.

[cooki3face]

You don’t teach your children not to hit people by hitting them.

You don’t teach your children not to scream by screaming at them.

You don’t teach your children to be respectful by disrespecting them.

You don’t teach your children how to do anything by subjecting them to physical, emotional, or verbal abuse as a form of discipline.

The type of parents you have makes all the difference and when someone has good and secure parents and comes from a loving and safe home it eliminates them having to suffer from trauma built up in a place that’s meant to be safe for them and inflicting that same pain on others. I hope that this generation grows up to be better parents and heals from the things our parents have done to them.

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Spolier Alert: There were some moments, but she, in fact, did NOT act a fool.

[globalriseofblackpeople]

Black mothers >

This is gentle parenting, teaching them emotional intelligence. So when they become adults they will be well rounded. Understand their feelings , can articulate them , and regulate them .

[punkstylerecovery]

I love folks complaining about "gentle parenting" and blaming it on kids "being out of control" because not only could that mean anything from "a kid stood up to me and set boundaries like the human being they are" to "a kid i was babysitting screamed at me and threw a can at me because i said no to buying them something really expensive" but it also shows me that they know nothing about gentle parenting or parenting at all. One of those is a sign of good (or perhaps "gentle") parenting. One of those is probably a sign of neglect.

When I see folks complaining about kids on the internet these days and blaming it on "gentle parenting", so often they're just talking about clearly neglected kids and it's because so many folks don't know what parenting is without violence. You tack on "gentle" and automatically they assume you're doing nothing at all and letting the kid do whatever because parenting means some type of hurt to them and "gentle" negates that.

It's so sad that so many people can't imagine parenting without hurt. It's so sad people feel the need to tack "gentle" onto parenting to teach people how to parent properly because they don't know how to get people to separate parenting from hurt in their minds otherwise. It's so sad that so many people STILL can't do it.

I'm glad to see the folks speaking out against it if only because it says a lot about their characters and about the people who agree. But also don't get me wrong, I'm really glad about all the folks who use these parenting skills for kids. I'm really glad for all the people using these skills as well as those teaching other people and unlearning all this bullshit. I can already see their (our?) impact and I think it'll only grow more beautiful as it goes on.

It brings me hope.

[violentviolette]

genuine protip for free therapy that works, start following "gentle parenting" accounts that discuss the ways they are raising their children and the healthy coping mechanisms and communication they're teaching and then use those techniques on urself. passively consume that content at random moments all throughout ur day. genuinely surround urself with it so that ur encountering it daily, multiple times a day, till those thought processes become second nature think of urself as both the parent and the child. use ur rational adult mindset to learn and internalize these new mindsets and teachings when ur not in distress, and then in moments when u are upset or distressed, parent urself through them. mimic and emulate these parents and speak to urself with the same compassion, patience, and understanding that they speak to their children with

for people with cluster b disorders, we did not have healthy childhoods. we did not grow up learning these messages and being treated with kindness and respect and compassion. we were not given the tools we needed to emotionally navigate the world in a healthy way. but that doesnt mean we cant learn it now. be the parent that u did not have. take care of urself and ur emotions the way they should have been handled

i promise it will make a huge world of difference. it might seem silly at first, or might make u angry and upset seeing people being treated in ways u wish u were, or it even might seem stupid and like it will never work. those are all valid things to feel during the process, but try and stick with it and keep consuming that content and eventually those messages will really sink in and start making a difference

[imthebentley]

Ineffable Parents

// OOC a sec. I know it's a lot of ifs: but what if they were parents and what if their children were the Bookshop and the Bentley and what if they were child shaped - what then?//

[missmonsters2]

you ever feel like you need to gentle parent yourself mentally?

"Hey, you're almost there. Just get this over with and then you can go home and do whatever you'd like."

"I know you want to eat pizza, but you need to have *some* healthy meals. Finish off your groceries and then you can order pizza for the weekend <3"

"Yeah...yeah I know it's tough kiddo, but it's gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath."

[queen-of-weird-girl-nation]

‘Gentle parenting doesn’t work’

Have you considered you’re just bad at it? Have you considered that instead of actually applying the principles of gentle parenting you’re just letting your kid run wild or handing them an iPad?

[darthyourmomgay]

Hera, babes why are you bringing your child into a war zone?????

[maculategiraffe]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by frazz (@mrs.frazzled)

honestly let's all just start talking like this to customers

[dyingroses]

undefined

[stardew-bajablast]

really telling how many people’s response to the “gen alpha can’t read” discourse is to immediately blame gentle parenting.

like even people on the left are saying this shit. pal, i’m sorry but if your solution to an entire generation of kids who are struggling academically is “we need to start beating the kids more” you are a fucking conservative.

and guess what! plenty of kids who live in conservative, authoritarian households still can’t read!! plenty of kids whose parents hit them struggle in school. it’s almost like violence doesn’t actually help children succeed academically and y’all are just a bunch of sadists who hate children