#how not to die cookbook

[0h-s0-sarah]

Spicy Ginger Vegetable Soup Recipe (nutritionfacts.org)

[ruusawa]

✶⋆.˚ sɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴅᴀᴅ ʙʀᴜᴄᴇ ᴀᴜ

✶⋆.˚ ᴀʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴜ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɴʏᴜᴋᴀᴀʀᴛ

✶⋆.˚ ғʟᴜғғ, ʙᴀᴛғᴀᴍ ᴀᴜ, sɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴅᴀᴅ ʙʀᴜᴄᴇ, ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ʙᴀᴛᴋɪᴅs

✶⋆.˚ 𝟺𝟸𝟶 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Why Bruce decided to adopt after Richard, he has no idea. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his four kids, but holy shit, they are hard work.

“Bruuuuce,” Dick, his eight year old whines at him, waving frantically from the doorway of Bruce’s study. “I want cookies.”

Bruce looks up from his laptop and to Dick who’s trying to give him the best puppy dog eyes the little boy can muster. “Why don’t you ask Alfred, champ?”

“He’s putting Cass down for a nap.”

Bruce sighs and stands up. “Okay, I’m sure we can manage.”

He heads over to the bassinet where his one year old, Tim, has woken up. He picks up the baby, grabbing the bat-sling (old habits die hard, it’s bat everything). Bruce carefully puts the sling on, making sure Tim is secure against his chest. He leads Dick to the kitchen where Jason is already, the small three year old trying to reach up onto the counter where Alfred keeps the fruit bowl. Bruce hands Jason a banana, ruffles the boy’s hair and then heads to where his mother’s cookbooks are.

“Right,” Bruce looks the recipe over, “this doesn’t seem too difficult.”

It turns out, it is pretty difficult.

Dick ends up spilling flour everywhere, some getting in poor Tim’s face, causing the one year old to start screaming. Jason, who was just trying to help, bless him, then drops half of the eggs on the floor when he tries to get them off the shelf. Not the end of the world. What is the end of the world is when Dick refuses to let Jason have a turn mixing the batter. It ends in tears and a soft scolding from Bruce. But hey, at least the cookies look cool.

Bruce doesn’t know how this happens every time he cooks or bakes. The cookies end up horribly burnt. And the oven door breaks. Somehow. Bruce is at a loss.

Dick is whinging about his cookies being burnt, Jason is trying, and failing, to reach and steal a burnt cookie. At least Tim is happy chewing his fist, Bruce supposes.

Alfred is, understandably, not pleased with the wreck of his kitchen. The day ends with a scolding, another lifetime ban from the kitchen but… it was fun. Spending time with his boys.

Bruce watches as his four children play on the floor of the lounge. It’s almost peaceful, Bruce smiles softly. Yeah, this is why he had—

“Bruce! Tim bit me!” Dick whines.

So much for peace.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

aaaa, i love this au so much. i'm definitely going to write more of it.

this work is inspired by @nyukaart single dad bruce au, specifically the comic where they try and make cookies

[dcxdpdabbles]

Master Posts Links

All the dabbles I have posted on my DC x DP account. Under a read more due to how long it is. Broken into three categories:

Multi-parts - Dabbles that have more than one part written.

One-shots- Dabbles with only one part written.

Requests- Dabbles written for the requests of readers. (Note: If a request is for a continuation of the other two categories, they will be filed in Milti-parts)

Master Post 1 Link

Master Post 2 Link

Master Post 3 Link

Completed AUs Master Post Link

NSFW (+18 ) Link

Please read the indexes to determine which master post each au is filed in.

As of 12/25/2024: The newest stuff is inside of Master Post 3.

(Updated as of 06/05/2025: Stop onOne-Shots: The Fib: Part 1)

MASTER POST 1 INDEX:

Multi-parts:

The Royal Consort,

Child Support

Phantom's Number 1 fan

Danny and The Fan Blog

Congratulations! It's Triplets!:

Ghost King Summon dare

The Dauntless Matchmaker

Demon and Angel Brat

Single Dad

Jason's Doll

Misplace Baby

One-shots:

The Assistant

The Ghost Trio's Food Trip

Legal Compensation

Love Among Fans

Lex Luther's Youngest

The Infinite Realms Hobby Store:

Obsession Runs in the Family

Farm Hand

Vague Threats

Game of Deadly Love

Retired-Rouge

The Real Blood Son

The Kid of Candles

Magic Older Brother

Keep The God Kid Busy!

Dog walker

Clockwork's Cookbook

Respawn and Relive

The Summoning Conditions of the Ghost King

Finders Keeper

What's the rule again?

The Contact, the Butler and the Sly Time Lord

Big Fish in Gotham Pond:

Immunity system:

Wrong Number:

Timeline Prevention Squad

Requests

The Masters are Aliens

Ghost Zone Read

Red Hood's Snow

Jason Sees Dead People

Ghost Dad

Wayne Manor Ghost

The Siren of Iceberg Lounge

The Orginal

The Ghost King's Fibs

Red ParentHood

Woo thy Butler, My Lord

Double Vision

Dealeyed Soulmates

Rescue Mission

Danny's Online Persona

Practice makes perfect

MASTER POST 2 INDEX:

Multi-Parts

Cass the Halfa

Danny's Grill

The Audit

Why Ten?

Cluster of Cores

Demon Head Slightly to the left

Danny Fenton's Ex

New Management

Billy's Parents

Phone a friend

Super Robin

Cassandra's Curse in Gotham

Marriage Trap the Office Supplier!

It's all Fun and Games Kids!

The cinnamon roll's son

One hell of a good Bellhop

Lights and Camera

One-Shots

Red Yummy

Professional Protector of Love

The Backroads

In 30 Minutes or less

Corporate Rivals

Rude Kryptonian

Ecto-Specialist

Side Hustle

Copyright

Love at first (club) meeting

Catnip for heroes

Old Friends

Danny the Nanny

Lights and Camera

Hot Wings

The ones who got away

Vanishing Bookstore

Petal to the metal

Lover Boy

PenPal

Fishbowl Bones

Unwanted House Guest

The Roommate

Missing Half

Danny's Did you Know?

Yeti's orders.

Who's Child is this?

Requests

Batman with a gun's lover

IRS's boogie man

Dear Elder Brother's mistakes

The Undead Florist

Pit's Merman

Dullahan is my roomate

Nightowl Appartement

The one with Sunset Hair

The lost In-Laws

The Lady and The Dad

Big Brother does not approve

Gotham's star and Shadow

Pride in Gotham

Revenant Prompt

The King and his Not-Knight

Contestant Number 3

The Lost son of the Bat

AroAce Danny

Extended Family

Master Post 3 Index

Mult-parts

Passion for Fashion

Alley Boyfriends

Mr. Flavor

Freelance Inventor

The Summoned Demon

One-shots

You ARE the father

The Good Luck Charm

To be Human Again

Travel Buddy

Shift

A little bit of Home

New Money

Beyond the Grave

Lex Luthor's annoyance

Die with a smile

Cold Case

Online Siren

The End and the Beginning

Damian's (not) real friend

Family Bonding

Gotham Gossip

The old Switcharoo

A Pen Pal's Duty

Gamer Boy

Rent-A-Scandal

Silver Tongue Snake

Pin-Man and the Merry Metal Makers

Burst Your Bubble

The Contingency Plan

What's Your Poison?

The cousin

Tax Bracket

Not my Business

The Fib

Request

Access Granted

Skulker's Past

Surviving Babysitting

The Twins

Echo's Dad

The Artifact Repair Man

Flip of A coin

New Neighbors

Over and Over again

The West Wing

Never the Bride

The Masters Boy

Starstruck

My Lost little song

The Hostage Prince

John's Mask

COMPLETED AUS MASTER POST INDEX

The Bakery is a Front!....right?

Cave Boy

The Adoptive Son

Alfred's Boy

[glowettee]

✧・creating a personal library system that actually works゜✧・゜✧

hey lovelies!

so last weekend i had a complete meltdown when i couldn't find my copy of "pride and prejudice" (the one with all my notes!) and ended up reorganizing my entire book collection at 2am. classic me behavior. but honestly? it was the best decision i've made in ages because now i actually know where everything is and i'm not buying duplicate books anymore (yes, i somehow owned three copies of "the bell jar"… don't ask).

i thought i'd share my super simple system for keeping track of my little library in case any of you are drowning in books too!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the physical organization ･:.ೃ࿔

i tried organizing by color once and while it looked pretty on instagram, it was literally impossible to find anything. so now i do a mix of these categories that actually makes sense for how i use my books:

favorites shelf - these are my ride-or-die books that i reread constantly and want to grab easily

to-be-read shelf - keeps all my unread books in one place so they don't get lost in the mix

read-but-keeping shelf - books i've finished but want to hold onto

reference section - cookbooks, style guides, etc that i need to access quickly

borrowed books corner - a special spot just for books that aren't mine so i actually remember to return them (sorry to everyone waiting for their books back…)

within each section, i organize alphabetically by author because i'm basic like that. but honestly it works!

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the tracking system ･:.ೃ࿔.

this is the game changer! i used to rely on my memory (lol) to keep track of what i'd read until i found myself 50 pages into a book before realizing i'd already read it. now i use:

a simple reading journal - nothing fancy, just a notebook where i write the title, author, when i started/finished it, and a few thoughts

sticky flags in different colors - blue for beautiful quotes, pink for plot points i want to remember, yellow for things to research later

the inside cover trick - i write the date i finished the book and a tiny heart rating (♥♥♥♥♥) system on the inside cover

a digital backup - i use storygraph (not goodreads all the time because amazon owns enough of my life) to keep a digital record

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the borrowing system ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:･

if you're like me and constantly lending books to friends (or borrowing them), this will save your friendships:

a dedicated "lending library" note in my phone with who has what and when they borrowed it

book plates that say "borrowed from mindy's library" (these were like $8 online and so worth it)

a rule that i only lend books i'm okay with never seeing again (learned this one the hard way)

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the "did i already read this?" solution ･:.ೃ࿔

this was my biggest problem! now i:

take a quick photo of books i read but don't keep (like library books)

keep a "books i've read" list in my notes app for quick reference while browsing bookstores

add a tiny dot on the upper right corner of the first page of books i own and have finished

it's not a perfect system but it's simple enough that i actually stick with it! the key is finding what works for your reading habits rather than trying to create some instagram-perfect color-coded situation that you'll abandon after a week.

what about you guys? any genius book organization hacks i should know about?

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[homosexualgirlandbags]

Legit gonna die rn so we're gonna speed run through the military man running in my mind.

Simon, for all his money and savings, refuses to change the same 5 year old pair of sneakers he has. The thing is rotting, deteriorating in front of his eyes, and he still tugs them on everyday and walks out in Britain's dreadful weather. He steps on every single puddle out there, and scuffs it up every damn time. Yet his relationship with the converse might be stronger than his relationship with Johnny. He doesn't even wash them, just... Throws them on the balcony. This leaves Johnny looking horrified at him every single damn time.

Price leaves his cigarette ashes everywhere. And his office fucking reeks of cigar smoke. There was a recruit with asthma who had to report to Price after a mission. His CO changed to Simon afterwards. (Price panicked so hard he fucking sprayed the inhaler on the recruits neck for a solid 5 seconds before finally realising what he did wrong. Their medic never lets him live it down.) Either way, everyone walks out of Price's office smelling like smoke, which at least makes it convenient for him to identify who's been sneaking in his office.

Johnny trains at 3 in the morning if possible. He climbs out of Simon's his bed, and pulls on a tank top and shit. Unfortunately, he plays loud ass classical music and rock punk music during his training, without headphones. (There's no in between his music tastes. Fucking Beethoven to My chemical romance). Either way, the recruit's room is closest to the gym, and they have not slept peacefully in 5 months. (Gaz is lowkey impressed by Johnny's method of torture and deterioration of the recruits. Johnny has no idea this was happening)

Gaz is an interesting case. He seems to never get into any trouble or controversy, and seems to be the first person (beside Laswell) to know whenever the rest of the 141 screws up. Johnny watches him closely for months until he finds out that Gaz bribes a few recruits under the table to find dirt on the rest of them. Gaz punishment does not lighten up when Price finds out about the fact that he's been reducing training for recruits who hide the stupid things he has done under the rug.

Laswell once brought her wife on base, a nice lady. She made a good impression on everyone and all. It took a day of her wife being around the base for her to start flirting with her. It's never subtle either, and Nik could only stare in slight surprise and amazement as he sees Laswell twirls her fucking hair like a schoolgirl. The rest of the 141 almost gets a stroke from seeing Laswell and her wife snuggle up in the blankets. And Price had to climb up a ladder to get a drunk Laswell and her wife off the rooftop. Apparently, normal Kate disappears when in close approximate to her wife, I suppose.

Nik has a fucking sweet tooth. His helicopter? Filled with chocolate and bread and what not. He keeps a candy bar with him everywhere. (Price once had the misfortune of learning how hard it is to remove chocolate smears on white shirts). His cookbook is mostly sweets and recipes he collected from around the world. Sometimes, him and Simon stay in the kitchen after hours, just making some sweets and then mysteriously disappearing later. It's quite sweet, if anything, if only he didn't make the aphrodisiac chocolate and gave it to Price on accident... (Spoiler alert, he intended for it to happen, even checked Price cycles to make sure he was free the whole day)

[brucewaynehater101]

Have a Good(?) Mom Janet AU.

There is a cookbook in Drake Manor that no one but Tim and Janet are allowed to touch. There is also a shelf full of Spices that only they are allowed to touch. Every time Janet comes home, they both cook each other meals with the book and the spices. Tim makes himself food using the spices while she is gone. Janet makes sure to come home at least once a month so that they can cook together.

This cookbook has been passed down in Tim's family for many, many generations. To be taught from it and eventually gifted the book to add your own recipes to is seen as a sign of love and adoration. If a family has more than one child, a copy of the book is made so each child can have one, and if someone dies without any children to pass the book along to, their will always states for the book to be returned to a Drake. Sometimes branches of the family will get together to trade recipes that the later generations have come up with that aren't in their own books. It has been this way for well over 10 generations.

See, the special thing about this cook book? It doesn't have anything like Chili or Pasta or Candy or Cake or anything like that. No, this is a cookbook detailing things like how to brew a lovely tea made from Nightshade and Foxglove, how to milk a snake and then reduce it's venom down and which Spices to add in so that it can be used to coat a blade, and how to disguise the taste of bitter poison in sweet and savory foods.

It's a Cook Book of Poisons. Just like the shelf is full of things like arsenic, cyanide, dried poison dart frogs, hemlock, and so, so much more. If you can think of a poison, it's on the hidden shelf.

Tim is taught by his mother how to dose those he loves to over time make them immune to things, how to kill someone without leaving a trace, and how to tell poisons apart by taste, smell, and touch. Janet does this because she loves her son, just as Janet's mother did this for her because she loved Janet and on and on back in the family tree. She wants him to be safe and they are very rich and well known. She knows that this attracts Assassins. She can not protect him from Knives or bombs or guns, but she can protect him from this one thing. She will protect him because she loves him dearly.

Tim knows his mother loves him, why else would she always poison him? She explained to him when he was very little what she was doing and why and he believed her. He still does. Frankly, the partial immunity to basically all toxins has been really helpful as Robin. Plus he can use this to help the Bats! He can start micro dosing Bruce and Alfred and Dick right away by baking them cookies with poison! If they detect anything wrong, just tell them it's ok if they don't like the cookies he made while looking sad. They will cave instantly and eat anything he gives them, brushing Tim off as not a very good cook.

Tim also comes clean to his Mother (only her, not Jack. They don't have a bond like he and Janet do) about being Robin and honestly? She sags in relief and says she is so glad that someone is protecting him from the things she can not and teaching him how to defend against what nether can stop. There is a lot of crying and then Janet being Horrified when she finds out that Batman and Nightwing only have Average Gothemite Poison Resistance?? No special training??? Seems very, *very* stupid in their lie of work.

With this AU, Janet would be fine (or at least not dead) when she drinks the water. Jack may or may not have been fine as well (depends on if Janet was also microdosing Jack as well).

So, Tim's parents either die another way or just don't die. Maybe Jack still ends up dead (Boomerang and whatnot), but Janet lives.

Ooh! Feel free to contest, but this would also pave the way for some excellent Talia/Janet interactions (it could start out as enemies to lovers due to two of Talia's sons attacking Janet's son. Yet, Talia can't help but be intrigued by the Drake practice of poisons/venoms/resistance/immunity).

Anyways, Tim and Janet showing their love through cooking is precious. It'd also be hilarious if Janet, insulted by the Bats not being immune, tries to help Tim as well. She just constantly checks up with Tim's progress and offers any advice she needs to.

Damian and Jason probably have some resistance/immunity bulit up, but probably not to the extent the Drakes do in this AU. Cass is aware of what's going on and happily takes Tim's food every time (she can practically feel the love radiating off of the food).

[thebekerslegecy]

👑 MEDIEVAL MODS + CC | The BEKER LEGECY

I am currently playing Morbid’s ULTIMATE Decades Challenge. Below is a list of all of the Mods + CC I am using in my game🐝

🍯 MODS: Wicked Whims (+18) MC Command Center MC Woohoo More Traits in CAS Royalty Mod Medieval Interactions Ye Olde Cookbook + Stoves +Fires Require Wood  + Hunting & Foraging ModHome Region +Townie Demographics by Kuttoe Fashion Authority 2 by Lot51 Functional Broom Functional Loom Functional Pottery Wheel Archery Skill Blacksmithing Skill Historical Simolean Override - English Shillings Children/Toddlers Can Die of Anything Playable Harp + LuteFunctional Horses & Carriages, No Helmet Create Campfire Bonfire Anywhere Arranged Marriages Custom Farm Animals Purchase Custom Animals Zero’s Historical Mods (pickpocket, disease, etc.) Phone to Notebook Replacement Sippy Cup + Toys Default Replacements Stuff for Pets Natural Knitting Stuff PreTeen LittleMsSam Mods ( Pick what you want) Sims4me

🐝 CC:

🍯Build:

TSR Ye Medieval - Ligna Windows Set TSR Ye Medieval - Timber Frame Walls TSR Ye Medieval - Framework Walls TSR - Broken Wood Door TSR Ye Medieval - Soil Terrain TSR Ye Medieval - Hay Ground Terrain

🐝Objects:

Lili’s Palace - Folklore Set No. 1 Linzlu’s Frontier Items TSR Ye Medieval - Peasant Homelife 1 TSR Ye Medieval - Peasant Homelife 2 TSR Ye Medieval - Peasant Homelife 3 TSR Ye Medieval - Peasant Homelife 4 TRS Ye Medieval - Tristan Bathroom TSR Ye Medieval - Tavern Part 1 TSR Ye Medieval - Candle Holder TSR - Skara Stool TSR - The Old Garden Boat TSR - The Old Garden Quay Fish Market Decor Fish Rack Fish Crate V1 Fish Crate V2 Bohrium Vegetables I Old Rustic Well (“Eco Living” version) Stable Set by Moriel Rustic Animal Shed Rustic Chicken Coop Rustic Bee Box Bassinet + Infant Crib SimsHistoricalfinds tumblr (directory) SIMS 4 MEDIEVAL CC TheSenseMedieval Allhistorical cc tumblr Medieval & Fantasy Mods List | Notion Kosmic Hippie's CC Finds — 👑 MEDIEVAL MODS + CC | The Sims 4 antiquated plumbobs : Directory CC Finds Navigation

🍯CAS:

TheSimsResource (Ye Medieval) TheSimsResource (Sifix) Simverses  Melancholy Maiden | creating Historical Sims 4 CC | Patreon satterlly | creating The Sims 4 CC | Patreon

🐝 SAVE FILE:

Srsly’s Blank Save Map Replacement Medieval Windenburg Medieval Map Replacement

🍯MY SIMS 4 MEDIEVAL WORLDS:

How to change sims4 world names (for existing save)How to change sims4 world names ( for new save)

Kingdom of France – Willow Creek’ Mali Empire – Oasis Springs’ Kingdom of Norway – Newcrest’ Inca Empire – Granite Falls’ Holy Roman Empire – Windenburg’ Kingdom of Denmark– Magnolia Promenade’ Republic of Genoa – San Myshuno’ Kingdom of Hungary – Forgotten Hollow’ Grand Duchy of Lithuania – Brindleton Bay’ Aztec Empire – Selvadorada’ Kingdom of Sicily – Del Sol Valley’ Ottoman Empire – StrangerVille’ Hawai’i – Sulani’ Kingdom of Scotland- Glimmerbrook’ Duchy of Milan – Brightchester’ Maya city-states – Evergreen Harbor’ Tatooine– Batuu’ Goryeo– Mt. Komorebi’ Kingdom of England – Henford-on-Bagley’ Republic of Venice– Tartosa’ Duchy of Burgundy – Moonwood Mill’ Kingdom of Aragon – Copperdale’ Mongol Empire – San Sequoia’ Mamluk Sultanate – Chestnut Ridge’ Kingdom of Ayutthaya – Tomarang’ Kingdom of Castile - Ciudad Enamorada kingdom of Moldova - Ranvenwood

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: I wanted to do something with just the Tarnished. Would this be considered Teratophilia? They are not entirely human, are they?

𝕬𝖉𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘: The Tarnished is a completely imaginable character. You create the Tarnished yourself. This can be considered true or not. “They/Them/Their” will be used to describe a singular Tarnished.

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: Smut & Normal headcanons for the Tarnished.

TW // Smut, Teratophilia.

|°��ᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝

"An unbearable fate for those who are a Tarnished. Their golden hue of their eyes leaving them. Their souls unable to rest, have lost the grace of the Erdtree, banished and are... maidenless."

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜/𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜:

Stright up, and of course, they do not speak. Actions tell more words type of Tarnished. They will speak to you with their body language, or maybe with a stick drawing into the ground. It's a bit confusing at first. It just seemed like squiggles to you until you realized 1: they might have lost some brain cells each time they die or 2: they could be so old they are writing ancient tongue, but you get a hang of it after (quite) a while. Their ability to just spawn back from the dead becoming really handy for their dedication to 'talk' to you.

On the subject of their dedication. These Tarnished are the most determined in the The Lands Between and out, considering their life is just full of rebirth; trial and error: over and over and over and over again. You have to honestly question their dedication when you keep seeing them after their death so many times. The first time they had died and reappeared actually scared you, but you suppose it was alright considering they have given you a gift when they did...

Gifting, it's one of their strong suits... in a way. Their gifts could range from: Stormhawk Feather's, Erdleaf Flower, Bloodrose, all the way to Sliver of meat and Crab eggs. It's not the best for the last two, but hey. If you have a cookbook for them, and you're hungry, maybe it's actually a great gift? Plus, you can feed them as repayment. However, if they are really dedicated and you return such an interest to them. They gift you a Rune, more or so a Rune Arc, but who knows if you're lucky enough for them to show their... true devotion to you with a Great Rune. They do not give those up easily; if not ever.

With gifting Sliver of meat and crab eggs. You might find more than you bargained for if you accept those foods. They can be like a cat bring back its kill to show you how well they did. Plopping a Eagel, Ram, or a damn Giant Land Octopus down at your feet: ripping a part off of them and offering it to you. You reject? Sad li’ knight, they will not gift you another body for a while. You accept? They’ll go hunt some more things for you, no matter how hard it is. For you to use as trophies, as evidence of their hard, devoted work.

Oh, they love your approval. From being banished and loosing everything they had… It’s reasonable they want your approval, attention and may have developed abandonment issues. They want nothing more to stay close to you, but at the same time. Their goal of having to become an Elden Lord and wanting to be near you; wanting your approval. It messes them up a bit. With the abandonment part? They won’t “say” anything about it, but you can tell they have it by how dedicated they stand by you. Having their full faith in you to not betray them; banish them like they have been before.

They would fight, defend or even act upon vengeance for you. Those lesser knights annoying you? Trying to beckon you closer? You don’t have to say nothing and they are killing them off, whether if it’s in front of you or not. Arrow incoming? They pull you in a roll with them or block it with their shield, their body covering yours. If they found out you have been forced to rest 6 feet under soil of the so called gods? It’s safe to consider them enraged and will go on a spree. How dare they take the only thing that was kind to them?

Despite the more dark end. They like following you around like a lost puppy of a Monstrous Dog. Fully capable of killing, but really until they or you are provoked. They may have lost their grace, their guide and maiden, but they believe you can replace that. That you can become a grace to them. A guide and perhaps… even their maiden. A real, true maiden to them. If you know what I mean.

Can be really possessive. They are not willing to share, nor are they willing to let you go. They have found their grace, their guide, their maiden. You think they are going to let that go so easily? They have been banished, and you are the only one that has blessed them of what should not be. You may not be powerful as themselves, but they can always provide, it’s what they are supposed to do, no? What do you mean no? Have the creatures of The Lands Between lost their senses? Did they gift you something that unknowingly makes you delusional? They will however, give you independency if that’s what you want; expect them to teach you too. They have be alone before…

They do have a bit chivalry blood in them, but it doesn’t mean they will use it for occasions. The enemies they face? Consider it a war crime with how vivid their actions can be when taking down an enemy, especially in front of you if they are trying to impress you. Honestly, the only times you seem them without blood staining their stolen armor is when they are next to you, wanting a good image and reputation with you in order to dazzle you. Regardless of what the rumors spread and what you have seen with your own eyes. They don’t care for what they have done. The gods abandoned them. Now? They will abandon them. A taste of their own medicine.

I’d like to say they have been trying to court you, in a way, since they have seen you and offered you their gifts. You wouldn’t know it at the beginning, but as time goes past and you learn about their social cues of growls, huffs grunts, and body cues? It becomes more apparent they are trying to court you, ever slowly too. You’re not sure if you should be smitten with it or not… One hand they are really dedicated on being by your side, but on the other hand? The drive to become Elden Lord can be a bit more powerful…

𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥/𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭:

They definitely have a praise kink, and combine that with your voice too? Consider them nearly at your mercy. Nearly, because they like to be alert when having heated times with you. That said, they are more of the dominant type, but to have you saying praises in their ear, whispering it? Perhaps they can be swayed of being a bottom. Just keep those praises up while your tone is gentle; cooing and they’ll be a puddle in no time, and ready to take you.

I believe they will get excited about what you wear. Whether it would be dress, a maids outfit or even a set of armor yourself. They definitely get excited when they see you with clothing, or no clothing. Surprised them at first when they saw you without clothing, but they are not complaining. To see your skin is like another blessing that has been bestowed upon them as you are allowing them to see you at your most vulnerable.

Will take you anywhere, doesn’t matter where it is. They will take you anywhere they please. It’s could be in front of a shrine, a church and possibly in front of an enemy if they magically didn’t kill them all off. One of the locations was on a sacrificial stone top, and by god did they made sure to make you feel like a pleasured sacrifice to them.

Blood Play. They definitely have to have a kink for blood. Not one of hurting you, but just smearing it over your skin. They would simply return back from battle: drenched in their enemies blood and just- swipe the blood spattered on their armor and put it on you as if they shared the battle with you too. (Or just to annoy you as they like your attention.) Though, this can come in as a way of marking. If they are the one injured, and you’re patching them up? Except to be smashed up against them with their hands to be a bit… wandering.

Sit on their face. That’s a death they are so willing to take from you. It’s a battle they want to conquer, and they do it excellently too. Their tongue either short or long. Lapping, twisting and sucking on you, very explorative. Let them be embraced with the grace of your juices. Let only you to conquer them in such a filthy way. It’s a loss they would be proud of.

Surprisingly vanilla, likes to lay you down in the safety of your quarters. Watching as the sheets/comforter waves a little bit when they place you down. Their hands wandering over your body: from the sides of your body all the way up and down from your thighs and collarbone. Taking it slow as they prepare you, massaging you before taking you like you should be taken. Taking you as their spouse, their counter part, as their maiden.

Loves to make you weak. Loves to raw you until you can’t walk the next week without them. Loves to see your blissed face as they would overstimulate you. To see drool lob off your tongue. They are filthy, and continue to be when they are taking you when they please. Their hands keeping you in place by your hips. They like to see how well they are treating their cute, handsome maiden.

Would breed you like no tomorrow, and that is …false for them. They can breed you everyday. They are reborn and ready to come back to you to show you just how much they can provide. Ready to pin your knees to your shoulder and absolutely take you over and over. They certainly got the infinite time to try and produce their heir’s with you.

Oh, I would be careful however. Whenever they are reborn as their frustration can become… hate sex. There was plenty of times where they have been reborn and have ripped you of your clothing to relieve their frustrations. You can try and hide, but with them having… dead, aged experience. It a bit hard to do so. They do like the chase and challenge you give them though. A bit silly you are, hiding from them.

There’s gotta be a thing in The Lands Between with something similar to sex pollen. You can’t tell me there isn’t in there, and the Tanrnished to be affected by it? It could last long. They would try and play it off at first, but as it gets more obvious it’s affecting them greatly… They can’t resist the sudden pull to you. The sudden call to claim and take you again and again until all is satisfied. It definitely makes you numb for at least a couple+ weeks, and that’s okay because you are lovingly pleasured, claimed by your lover and get great aftercare afterwards for their rather… rabid behavior.

[eli0004]

Fuck me With Feelings

Pairing: Fwb!Jean Kirstein x reader

Genre: Smut

Summary: Jean and reader have been casually fucking, but Jean quickly learns that the whole no strings attached thing isn’t working for him. After confessing to reader, he’s unsatisfied with her response, but neglects to say anything and resumes their meetups as usual. He quickly finds out how badly he misunderstood, when the two of them engage in some very heavy, passionate and emotional sex on the kitchen floor.

Contains: marijuana usage, fem!reader, unprotected sex, fwb arrangement, praise, slight overstimulation, jean talks too much, biting, possessiveness, pining, jean is in love and SO soft for reader, fluffy shit, yk…the usual, no power dynamics.

“Wait…grab me the salt” You speak, lowering the cookbook to look at the tall male standing in front of you.

“Salt.” Jean announces as he sets the small white shaker on the counter beside you. You nod curtly, glancing at him out of the corner of your bleary red eyes with a smile as you turn back to the mixing bowl in front of you. Time is moving in slow motion, and all you can think about is getting some food in your stomach.

“Thanks. Now, it says we’re supposed to pour the mixture into the pan? Wait…shit, aren’t we supposed to butter the pan first?”

The two of you look at each other in shared confusion for a moment, before he begins laughing. You scoff in annoyance, rolling your eyes and shoving the cook book towards him to see for himself.

“Jesus Jean, can you be serious for 5 minutes?” You glare. The sandy-blonde stops laughing and looks at you with an unreadable expression, brown eyes glimmering with mischief before you both erupt in laughter.

As the giggles die out, he pokes at your side, causing you to jump in surprise, before stepping away from the counter.

“Alright alright, out of the way.” He sighs happily, taking the bowl from your hand. “Just leave it to the professional.” He turns up his nose, grinning playfully, as you roll your eyes and groan at his feigned arrogance. You slap his shoulder as you move away from the counter to change the music playing through your kitchen speaker.

It’s a Friday night, and the rain is coming down in sheets, slamming against your windows aggressively. Jean, dressed in a pair of grey sweats and a black oversized hoodie, had come over earlier in the evening as he has so many times before, although this time in particular, different from the rest. His demeanor had seemed slightly off, and it was clear something was on his mind, though he only seemed frustrated when you’d initially prodded.

The two of you had been seeing each other for months in secret, having mutual friends who would tease you both relentlessly if they found out you two were fucking. Because that’s all it was anyway, just harmless fucking. No strings attached, just blowing off steam. There wasn’t any need to announce it, and the both of you would’ve rather kept your business to yourselves anyway.

As time went on, however, Jean found himself hopelessly in love, having accidentally attached all the strings you’d told him to leave unattached. Your twinkling eyes, your sweet smile, the first thought he thinks in the morning, the last one of the night. Unbeknownst to him, the feeling was mutual, and you’d also quickly found yourself wanting to spend more time together outside of the bedroom. Earlier that morning, in a burst of courage Jean had texted you:

“i don’t think i can keep fucking with no feelings. I’m sorry…i just don’t know how to turn them off.”

Without much thought, you typed out a response:

“Ok…fuck me with feelings then. Duh.”

And that was that. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, stomach in knots all day, and a permanent frown etched onto his face. He felt defeated, stupid, for thinking he could stay away from you even if you didn’t feel the same.

The day progressed as usual, Jean arrived at your place 8 PM as usual, the two of you got violently high together as usual. By midnight, hungry and handsy, the two of you ended up in the kitchen trying to follow a recipe for skillet gnocchi, despite your altered cognitive abilities.

“Professional” Jean Kirstein is actually pretty good at cooking when he isn’t stoned out of his mind. But the task at hand is proving to be difficult now. The man stares at the skillet on the stove in confusion as you flip through your Spotify playlist. Recognizing the silence, you turn to him and glance over his shoulder.

“Everything ok over there?” You ask, raising a brow.

“Nothing is happening.” He states, matter of factly.

“Did you turn on the stove?”

“Oh..” He blushes furiously, thick brows pulling together as he scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Well, shit” You immediately burst into laughter, slapping his shoulder a second time, affectionately.

“Wow! So “professional” of you!” You all but shout, doubled over against the counter and clutching your stomach. He rolls his hazy honey brown eyes, unamused at your exploitative jokes.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He grumbles, turning away from you to find the stove dial. You sigh contentedly as your laughter subsides.

“Oh Jeanbo~ you’re so fucking cute…” you hum mindlessly, gazing at him with a dopey smile.

…

Jean freezes. It’s the first time he’s ever really heard you say something like that, and the affection dripping from your words has his stomach fluttering and his mind reeling. It’s unfair, really, and it irritates him. He turns to look at you in surprise, brows furrowed, eyes meeting yours before he looks to the ceiling. His reddened cheeks puff out as he contemplates a response.

“Uh…you mean that?” He asks, suddenly feeling vulnerable. His eyes scan your face for any signs of dishonesty, wondering if you might be playing with his heart to get what you want from him. The way you’ve been speaking to him tonight is so drastically different than how you’ve been treating him for the last few months. Not that you’ve been treating him poorly, you’ve just never been this open about how you feel towards him. Your words feel deliberate and meaningful whereas before you’d only compliment him like that when your eyes were lust-blown and your hands were all over his body.

“Obviously, i thought we established that this morning” you deadpan, head tilting to the side.

“No, not really, i actually had no idea what to make of it.”

There’s a moment of silence as you two stare at each other, before the realization hits and you begin to feel guilty. Had your message not been as clear as you’d initially hoped it would be? Unsure of what to say, you close your mouth. Jean takes your silence as confirmation, and sighs, shoulders slumping dejectedly, quietly turning back to the stove to turn it on.

Thinking for a moment, you frown, drawing shapes on the countertop with eyes cast down like a kicked puppy. Wiggling out of your seat, you approach him where he stands at the stove, gazing up at him with a soft, nearly sympathetic smile. He doesn’t dare look at you, afraid his burning face will betray him, knocking down his mask of fragile-aloofness.

“Jean…” you tilt your head to the side, hair falling over your shoulder. Bringing a hand to his back, you draw slow, gentle circles there. He shivers, but his silence is unwavering. “Baby~ you know something?” You hum.

Jean glances at you and shrugs, tossing some stuff you don’t care to look at into the pan.

“I think you’re so handsome. I think you’re adorable, and goofy, and sweet. I think anyone would be lucky to be the object of your affection. I feel lucky that i get to be…” you coo at him, your hand dipping below his hoodie to scratch his bare back, how he likes it. He can’t help but smile at your words, blinking slowly as he turns to look down at you, your faces only a few inches apart from each other. “Yeah?” He whispers “go on”

You snort, rolling your eyes playfully at his blatant request for praise, and reach out to click the stove off, having a feeling about where this was going to lead.

“You’re funny, you always make me laugh…“ you whisper “You’re strong” squeezing his bicep slightly with your other hand, you rake your eyes down his body. “So sexy~”

The man’s cheeks are impossibly red, his head is spinning and his body feels like it’s burning up as he listens to you sing his praises. He glances down at your lips, nearly nose to nose with you as he grins. “What else?”

You smirk, beckoning him to turn and face you head on and pressing your body against his own. Your hands place themselves on his chest as you murmur “You’re all mine.”

Something feral snaps within him and he all but attacks your lips, pinning your hips against the counter with his own. Your hands scramble to grab onto the fabric of his hoodie, desperately yanking at it as you peel it off of him. Your lips dance together fervently, pressing against each other with such passion, as if he’s worried you’ll slip away from him if he doesn’t hold you tightly enough.

He shoves his hands under your college sweatshirt, running his warm palms over your bare breasts and brushing his thumbs over your peaked nipples. His touch draws a sharp gasp from your mouth against his lips, and he swallows the sound of it.

You lick against his bottom lip and he accepts it urgently, parting his lips and moving his eager tongue in rhythm with your own. Tangling your hands into the roots of his sandy blonde hair, you push your hips forward to grind against his erection and he throbs, soft, sweet groans muffled against your lips.

Jean grips your waist tightly, pulling you against him as he backs himself up against the counter, sliding down to the floor. Pulling you on top of him, he settles you against his lap, tossing his head back when your lips attach to the column of his throat.

“Fuck baby…fuck” he gasps, feeling you sucking bruises into the skin. All visible places, and he knows why. The possessiveness, the feeling of finally belonging to you, it sends waves of intense arousal coursing through his bloodstream. Every movement you make, grinding your hips down against his hard cock sends his mind reeling with pleasure, senses wildly heightened by the pot in your systems.

“Gonna tell everyone that you’re mine baby, i’m so…fuck- happy you’re mine” he groans, guiding your hips to move against. You gasp softly at the friction, becoming increasingly wetter by the minute.

You pull away and quickly shimmy out of your pants, as best as you can while straddling the man’s lap. He brings his fingers down, eyeing the cute panties you wear before yanking them aside to collect your arousal on his fingers.

“Fuck..you’re so wet for me, all for me” he growls as he dips his slick digits into your pussy. His fingers are long, nimble, and curl up deliciously into the spongy spot inside you. You moan softly, feeling every inch of his middle and forefinger in places that your own fingers could never hope to reach.

“Oh god..Jean~ Fuck me” you moan out, rutting against his hand. He slides his fingers out of your hole, rubbing them against your clit and covering it in your own arousal. Tossing your head back, you groan at the loss of internal sensation, but you have no time to be disappointed as you hear him eagerly yanking the waistband of his sweats and underwear down to let his aching cock spring free. He’s leaking more than you’ve ever seen, precum dripping down the slit of his sensitive head and collecting below his navel.

Leaning in for another eager kiss, you swat his hand away and wrap your fingers around his shaft. He’s so deliciously thick, you can almost feel the stretch, the memory of it causing your cunt to throb. Biting his lip gently, you give him a few languid strokes, spreading the sticky precum over the length of him and guiding him to your entrance. His mind is hazy, he jolts as the sensation overwhelms him. You feel different this time, though he can’t pinpoint why.

You slide his tip through the slick folds of your pussy, before enveloping him in your wet warmth. jean nearly chokes on the strangled moan that erupts from his chest as you pull away from the kiss to toss your head back, breathing out a soft “fuck”.

His hands eagerly grip your waist, guiding you up and down on him slow and passionate. The pleasure coursing through him is building quickly in the form of an impending, earth shattering orgasm at the very core of his abdomen. The coil in his tummy, while not unfamiliar, is seemingly more intense than it’s ever been, he won’t last long. Why is he getting close so fast?

Suddenly it occurs to him as you bring your lips back to his own, kissing him passionately, and packed full of raw, unfiltered emotion. He feels wanted, he feels loved, he feels complete. Perhaps it’s the intimacy of having himself sheathed inside of you raw for the first time, it must be. Sex with you has never felt so intense and fulfilling than it does in this moment.

Your hips are moving quicker now as you chase your orgasm, every inch, every ridge, every vein of his length stroking your insides like it was hand crafted to fit there. Feeling your legs tense up, and your stomach begin to tighten, you throw your arms around Jean’s neck and pull him close, biting down on the muscle of his broad shoulder as you cum impossibly hard, eyes rolling back with a loud moan. He snakes his arms around your waist, holding you tightly there as he snaps his hips up into you, slamming into your cervix like his life depends on it. The feeling of your teeth in his skin threatens to push him over the edge.

“Baby! Right there- oh god keep doing that, don’t let go of me!” He rasps against the shell of your ear, and as you sink your teeth in deeper, mewling softly at the overstimulation, Jean cums with such intensity, he thinks he might ascend. More and more spurts out of him, and his body convulses with every rope of it, lurching him forward to moan loudly, muffled into your hair.

The sound of ragged breaths and sharp gasps echo off the kitchen walls as you both come down from the high of your orgasm, bodies tangled together and unmoving. After a minute, Jean’s hand finds itself in your hair, running his fingers through it affectionately. Something he’s wanted to do for a long time. He gazes down at you with adoration replacing old lust, smiling softly as you pull back to look at him.

The two of you stay that way for a minute or two, just panting against each other before he speaks.

“So…uh- does this mean-“ he glances down at the floor and then back up to meet your eyes.

“You’re never gonna get away from me” you grin, plopping down against his chest in exhaustion as you giggle slightly. He bites his lip, excitement bubbling up in him like a little kid, as he holds you tightly.

“Why would i ever wanna?”

[alexsoenomel]

Being two golden retrievers in love (Sam Winchester headcanons)

I'm slowly falling in love with writing Sam

Reading the same book at the same time and discussing it over dinner

You being a junk food addict like his brother and Sam telling you to watch your diet knowing damn well you have a sensitive stomach and eating greasy burgers every two days was not the way to go

"I'll be fine Sam. Don't worry."

You not listening of course and ending up with severe stomach cramps

"Well, I should have listened to you."

"You think?"

You playing with his hair before bed because that was now the only way he would actually fall asleep

Sam loved being the big spoon and refusing to let you wake up before him (you were both early birds)

"Sammy I need to make breakfast."

"Five more minutes."

Physical touch was a big thing in your relationship, especially holding hands.

Sam loved taking you out on dates: dinners, museums, ice cream, movies... anything that comes to mind. He loved spending time with you.

Sam loved watching you do mundane things: washing dishes, cleaning, researching, cooking...you would look so peaceful and he found beauty in simplicity

Sam loved cooking for you

You loved giving him gifts, especially something that reminded you of him

One time you bought him a cookbook of healthy recipes because he said one time he lacked creativity in cooking

"You shouldn't have..."

"Yeah well it's your fault I feel in love with you and now I just want to buy you stuff and love you until I die."

Every month you had to take a couple of days off work because of your damn period and Sam would text and let you know how much he was missing you

I miss you. I have trouble falling asleep. Dean's snoring like a damn buzzsaw.

I miss you too Sammy. I need your hugs :(

We should be done in two days max, baby. I miss hugging you.

Please be careful my love

Don't worry I will. I love you so much see you soon

I love you too Sammy

The relationship between you two was peaceful and filled with nothing but love and understanding

3am conversations were a regular thing since you both had trouble sleeping especially when dealing with a case

Sex was always...intense

Even though Sam was a sweetheart in the bedroom was a whole different story.

He was rough, loved dominating you and above all loved seeing you come undone.

He made sure you were satisfied in more ways than one. His needs would always come second.

You would protest, of course, and tell him to let you take care of him, but he didn't wanna hear it.

"Please let me take care of you, Sam."

"Later."

You both loved nature so spending time hiking was a regular thing.

"Where are you two going and Sam why are you wearing shorts?" Dean asked you once and when you told him where you were going he just stood there confused and then said: "You two deserve each other."

[utterlyotterlyx]

Can I request 23, 20 and 13 with Azriel? Please and thank you!

Reckless

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Warnings - mentions of blood and injury, fluff

Based on the below prompts:

It’s three in the morning. If even half of that blood is yours you need to sit down right now. I don’t like saying ‘I told you so’ but- The hell you don’t, it’s your favourite phrase.

Enjoy!

The ticking clock and the sky drowning in its sorrow was enough to warn you that Azriel was going to be late. A once roaring fire had long since extinguished, bright molten embers nothing but ash that trickled through the grate and dusted the base.

It wasn't often that you had a moment with your mate, a real evening away from your duties to your court, and when you did you both made sure to put the maximum amount of effort in. Whether it be long walks along the Sidra, or nights in cooking together which you would always commandeer, Azriel would never miss it, he'd never meaningfully skip a chance to see you.

As the clock chimed, you turned your head to see the ornate finger poking the invisible one and sighed, shaking your head and pitifully scraping the untouched dinner plates into the compost bin, leaving them on the counter to tend to in the morning.

The house felt cold without him, but even then you'd still complain that it was cold when he was right beside you just so that you could have his arms wrap around you securely, and you were sure that he knew about it from the sly smirk he would always give you before opening his arms to, chuckling to himself as you'd scurry into his embrace.

Azriel had sent nothing down the bond, which meant that he was busy, but he was so late, five hours late be exact and it made you feel on edge; every time he had been late in the past he would send a flurry of adoration and guilt down the bond to reassure you that he would return to you, but there was nothing but stone cold silence and shadow shrouded walls locking you out.

Twiddling the large rock on your ring finger you began the journey to your bedroom.

Rhys had insisted on buying yourself and Azriel your own home as a mating gift, but not only that, he wanted to thank you your loyalty and the personal sacrifices you had both made to protect them and the Night Court, Azriel as his Spymaster and you as Prythian's best healer; that came in the form of a two-story town house on the outskirts of Velaris, far enough to have your own space, but still close enough so that you'd be available if you were needed.

The home was a perfect myriad of you both, deep blue armchairs and dark oaken floors, bookshelves packed full of Azriel's tomes and research with your own passion pieces littered between them. The kitchen was very much made for you, a large stove, hooks for all of your strangely carved mugs, a pantry to die for which you always strived to keep fully stocked. Cookbooks stood along the windowsill and a pair of weighing scales sat before them, ready to be thrown into another one of your culinary adventures.

You weren't sure sometimes if Azriel was more excited to be mated with you or eat the food you had offered him that night.

The bedroom was missing its other inhabitant, evident in the dim glow from a single flickering candle that made little to no movement as you entered, frowning and going about to reset the room, putting away the massage oils and peeling back the comforter to climb into its shivering embrace.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before you had heard him, scuffing his feet along the floor of the lounge and stopping, no doubt peering about at the effort you had made for date night, and you heard him sigh before his feet hit the steps heavily.

His scent had always flooded you, but you weren't a happy mate in that moment as you curled onto your side with your back facing the door. A cold breeze drifted in from the world he had brought into your home with him, "Angel..." his voice was quiet, pained, you could tell he was feeling guilty.

"It's three in the morning," you grumbled, staring out at the crescent moon beyond the paned window, your fingers brushing through the unbound hair that had fallen over your neck.

Then it hit you, the all to familiar metallic smell that you had become so accustomed to, so accustomed to that you hardly ever realised it was near unless there was copious amounts of it. Sniffing deeply, you rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on your elbows, examining your mate who was stood in the doorway with his head hung low.

From where you lay, you could see the blood glistening in the moonlight as his hand lay stuck to the doorknob. Shallow breaths passed through his lips and he winced at each one, then he tilted his head back and you saw him, and you gasped. His bottom lip was busted, blood leaked from it as it did from the cut to his brow, his hair was tussled and matted, his eyes were dark and dreary.

"If even half of that blood is yours you need to sit down right now," you threw the covers off of you and moved toward him, taking his face in your hands and looking into his eyes.

Azriel winced with every step he took toward the edge of your bed, usually you'd tell him off for mucking up the sheets, but you didn't say another word as you flitted about the room and gathered your usual supplied from the bathroom before settling onto your knees in front of him.

He knew that you were internally cursing him for getting himself into that state, you had told him endlessly to be careful, to listen to his shadows and leave if things seemed more sinister than usual. This particular mission had not been one that you had agreed with at all, but you had little say in the details of his career, he knew what he was doing and you usually trusted that.

It had only been a few days prior that you had told him that he needed to slow down, that you knew he wanted to do all he could to protect you and his home, that you couldn't think about bearing his child until he did. The thought of being a single mother terrified you, you had been very truthful about it, how you were so afraid that one day he might now return to you and you wouldn't be able to care for another life let alone your own.

Azriel hissed as you dabbed a cotton pad of alcohol to his bottom lip, doing your best to be gentle with him. You had muttered a small sorry, but when he surveyed your face, he saw unfiltered fear in your eyes, and he knew you were thinking about the worst case scenario.

You knew better than to ask for details, he wasn't the most open of males, but he was trying to be, for you. He had told you some details of the mission and you had expressed your ill feeling toward it, you had told him it felt too dangerous.

Your mate happily accepted the tonic you had given him to keep the pain at bay whilst you worked, pressing your fingers to his cuts and bruises and allowing your healing glow to fix him. You were from the Dawn Court, you were Thesan's most gifted healer, and you had healed Azriel when he crashed into your court after being hit by an ash arrow by some grounded assassins, from that moment there was no place he would allow you to be than right beside him.

"I didn't feel you," you muttered with a strained voice, clearly trying to hold back your tears, you had seen your mate in some terrible ways, but this had to be one of the worst.

"Fae bane," he hummed in discomfort when you moved your palms to the entrance wound of a knife no doubt, closing your eyes and allowing your power to float into him, your essence entangling itself with his own and mending every broken tendril of shadow, "You were right, I shouldn't have gone. Nothing about it felt right and I didn't listen to you."

"I don't like saying I told you so, but-"

"The hell you don't, it's your favourite phrase," it was no time to laugh but you smirked at his quip, one that he mirrored, and you knew then that he was going to be absolutely fine.

Azriel's face was clean from the cuts and bruises, and he looked physically relieved as he rolled his shoulders and his shadows came out to say hello, slithering up your arms and kissing your cheeks in thanks. His fingers grasped the backs of your thighs as you did a final check over, his touch sending lightening spreading through your body, and he pressed his lips along your collarbone, humming as he drank in your scent and felt peace consume him.

"I'm sorry for missing tonight, I'll make it up to you I promise," he mumbled against your skin, "You have me all week. I'm going to tell Rhys that I'm going to take it easier from now on. I want to focus on us, on you."

Hazel pools of serene bliss flowed into you and you kissed him, softly just in case he winced, a ghosting things that left him needed more, "You know how you could make it up to me right now?"

Azriel's eyes darkened with desire, pulling you closer, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him back a few inches, smirking at his confusion, "You can take a shower, you stink and you're covered in blood," Azriel's face fell and you laughed, a pure and playful thing as you peered to where he was sat, "I'll change the sheets whilst you do. I cannot sleep with blood on the sheets, especially when I'm not sure if it's even yours."

Your mate rolled his eyes and stood, swaying over to the bathroom whilst peeling his leathers from his body, he lingered in the doorway and gazed back at you still kneeling at the foot of the bed, smirking, he drawled "It's not."

When he had returned, free from blood and smelling of his usual cedar musk, he climbed into the freshly made bed and pulled you close to his chest, inhaling the coconut from your shampoo as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

"Does this mean I get to put a baby in you now?" Azriel's eyes drifted closed, willing a certain dream to infiltrate his consciousness as sleep began to consumed him, dragging him down into its embrace as you soothed out any tension in his body as you allowed your hands to trickle down his arms and over his chest. Sleepily and with a dragging tone that told you he was moments away from slipping into another world entirely, he spoke softly, "It's my favourite dream."

[lacevenom]

wolf chef

PAIRING : Embry call x fem! reader + the pack

WARNINGS : none

A/N : i literally cried because of laughing while writing this

SUMMARY : Emily and Sam go out on a date and the pack gets hungry and tries to cook which ends up in a total mess while you and Embry watch

It started off innocent enough.

Emily and Sam had decided to finally take a night off.

a real date night.

which left the boys completely unsupervised and of course hungry.

“we can totally cook,” Jared said confidently, cracking his knuckles like he was about to perform a surgical procedure. “how hard can it be?” Quil added, already rifling through Emily’s pantry like a raccoon. you and Embry knew immediately that this was a recipe for disaster. which is why you were now curled up together on the couch, Embry’s arm draped lazily around your waist, watching the absolute chaos unfold like it was your own personal comedy show.

“alright, first step,” Paul announced dramatically, slamming a pan down onto the stove. “fire.”

“you don’t even know what you’re making yet,” you called from the couch, giggling.

“details,” Paul said, waving you off.

Jacob was flipping through one of Emily’s cookbooks with a deeply concentrated frown.“guys, pancakes are easy. let’s just make pancakes.”

“pancakes for dinner?” Quil said. “genius. absolute genius.”

“where’s the flour?” Jared asked, yanking random containers off the shelves.

Embry leaned close to your ear, murmuring, “ten bucks says they mistake salt for sugar.” you snorted, covering your mouth to muffle your laughter.

sure enough, Jared dumped a huge scoop of salt into the mixing bowl. “that’s enough sugar, right?” he said proudly.

you lost it!

buried your face in Embry’s hoodie as you shook with laughter. Embry shook his head before he was laughing too, low and warm in your ear.

“we need eggs!” Paul shouted. “where are the damn eggs?!”

“dude, the carton’s right there,” Jacob said, pointing.

Paul grabbed it, cracked an egg in one hand — and missed the bowl completely, the egg splattering onto the counter.

“five second rule!” Quil declared, scooping it up with a spatula.

“NOOOOOOO!” you cried from the couch, gasping through your laughter. Embry was nearly in tears, shoulders shaking as he hugged you closer. “this is better than TV,” he whispered.

In the kitchen, things got worse. Jared tried flipping a pancake but it somehow got stuck on the ceiling. Paul accidentally turned the stove on way too high and set a dish towel on fire. Jacob tried to save it with a glass of water but slipped and ate shit on the tile floor.

“OH MY GOSH, STOP, YOU’RE ALL GOING TO BURN THE CABIN DOWN!” you shrieked, doubled over with laughter.

Embry wiped his eyes, still grinning like a fool. “we should help them,” he said half heartedly. you just shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks from laughing so hard. “survival of the fittest,” you wheezed.

meanwhile, the boys finally managed to plate something. something grayish-brown, questionably shaped, and vaguely pancake-adjacent. “bon appétit!” Quil said proudly, dropping a plate in front of you and Embry.

you and Embry stared down at it in horror. “baby, if i die,” Embry said seriously, “tell my mom i love her.”

you burst out laughing again, clutching his hoodie. “you’re not eating that,” you gasped.

“nope,” Embry agreed, pulling you up from the couch. “we’re ordering pizza. right now.”

the boys groaned dramatically, but nobody protested. even they knew they’d nearly committed several felonies against food tonight.

as you and Embry disappeared onto the porch to call the pizza place, you leaned into his side, still giggling uncontrollably as Embry made the call.

[jacksonsturniolo]

introducing —

Librarian!Nick & jasper.

librarian Nick — 22. smarty pants. glasses. occasionally drinks. brunette. rings. sleepless nights. quiet. comfy clothes. staying in. organized. gentle. observant. hates ordering his own food.

Jasper — 21. silly. outgoing. emotionally intelligent. hates alcohol. very touchy. impulsive. adhd. loud. very creative. paints. animal lover. jeans. bracelets. always all over nick. protective.

Jasper was walking backwards in front of him, which Nick was trying very hard to ignore.

“You know,” Jasper said, arms wide like he was presenting a stage, “if you rearranged these shelves just slightly, you could make a maze. Like a real one. Imagine how fun that would be. Hide-and-seek. Patrons would never leave.”

Nick barely looked up from his clipboard. “That’s the opposite of what a library is supposed to be.”

“But think of the drama!” Jasper spun theatrically in the middle of the aisle. “A forbidden love… across the Dewey Decimal system. He’s in 641.5 — cookbooks. She’s in 301 — sociology. Tragic. Riveting. Pulitzer-worthy.”

Nick gave him a long look over the rim of his glasses. “Do you ever run out of things to say?”

Jasper grinned. “Not when you’re around.”

Nick turned, walking toward the next cart of returned books, but Jasper followed close behind — not touching, not speaking for a moment, just trailing in step, like he couldn’t bear to leave the orbit.

Nick paused by the reading nook in the back corner, adjusting a slightly crooked bookend. Jasper leaned in against the wall beside him, voice softer now.

“You’ve been here since 8 a.m.”

“I know.”

“And I’ve been here for two hours, successfully annoying everyone except you.”

“I know that too.”

There was a beat. Quiet.

Nick glanced up at him finally, catching Jasper’s eyes — blue and bright and completely focused on him. Always on him.

“You should go,” Nick murmured.

Jasper smiled, small now. “I know.”

But neither of them moved.

Instead, Nick reached out — tugged gently at Jasper’s sleeve, pulling him in by inches. Jasper came without hesitation, leaning down just slightly, their foreheads brushing for a breathless second before Nick kissed him.

It wasn’t quick.

It was the kind of kiss that felt like relief and warmth and finally. The kind of kiss that made Jasper’s hand curl instinctively at Nick’s waist, careful, but wanting to hold him close. The kind of kiss that made Nick lean in just a little more, letting himself feel safe in the quiet of his own library, in Jasper’s hands.

When they pulled apart, Jasper was still close, lips brushing his cheek now.

Nick spoke softly, thumb absently tugging at Jasper’s sleeve again. “I’ll let you talk to me as much as you want when I get home, okay?”

Jasper’s smile bloomed wide, eyes crinkling.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Jasper kissed him again — one last quick press — then finally, finally stepped back. “I’ll be waiting. With snacks. And opinions. So many opinions.”

Nick shook his head, smiling to himself as Jasper practically bounced away toward the exit, waving over his shoulder like they hadn’t just kissed like they were the only two people in the world.

The library was quiet again.

Nick pressed his fingers to his lips, just once, and got back to work.

a/n — such angels I’m gonna die.

taglist— @grace-sturnz @kier-with-a-k @sturnsblogs @urloveanaa @bernardsbendystraws @princesspinkkk23 @urfavvbilliemunch @emely9274 @nessabarrettswhore @oopsiedaisydeer @thenickgirl @nickssidewitch @queenbreana @chriss-slut @rriverscuomo @conspiracy-ash @lezleeferguson-120 @ev1ldeadboy @milosturns @etherealsturns @nicks-bubbles @tezzzzzzzz @zenithsturniolo @dolliraez @httpssturns

[sycamorelibrary754]

Beating Around the Drum

Summary: Bob is searching for a hobby.

Pairings: Robert Reynolds x Thunderbolts*

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Spoilers for Thunderbolts*! Read at your own risk.

A/N: I love Bob.

Yelena pulled into the parking lot of the therapist's office, the gentle hum of her car's engine fading into serene silence as she turned the ignition off. Her eyes flicked to the dashboard clock. She arrived a few minutes early to pick up Bob. The past few months had been strenuous post-Void, and Yelena had taken on the role of his steadfast rock, his trusted confidante, and his unwavering ride-or-die.

Her gaze wandered out the car window, taking in the world outside. People moved along the sidewalk, some wearing easy smiles while others were glued to their phone screens, each absorbed in their realities. In her heart, Yelena held a deep admiration for Bob's resilience, but now, with the fresh shadows of a Bipolar episode clouding his mind, the spark of his typically bright spirit seemed to have dimmed.

Suddenly, the therapist's office door swung open. Bob paused for a moment, scanning the parking lot until he caught sight of Yelena's car. A faint, almost tentative smile crept onto his lips as he approached.

“Hey,” Bob greeted as he slid into the passenger seat and fastened his seatbelt with a slight sigh. “Thanks for picking me up.”

"Anytime," Yelena replied, softening her voice to ease his burdens. "How was therapy?"

Bob shrugged lightly, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. "It was...good, I guess. Dr. Riley says I'm making progress."

Yelena offered him a supportive smile as she pulled out of the parking lot. "That's great.”

An enveloping silence settled into the car as they navigated the streets together. Bob drifted into his thoughts while Yelena respected the space he needed. As they neared the tower, she caught sight of his gaze, his eyes momentarily brightening before settling distant once more.

"Hey, Bob?" Yelena ventured, breaking the tranquil quiet. "How about we grab some dinner at that new diner downtown? I could really go for some comforting food."

Bob turned to her, a subtle warmth returning to his expression. "Sure."

As they stepped inside, the diner was bustling with life. The air was thick with the mingling scents of fried food and freshly brewed coffee, laced with the lively clatter of plates and laughter. The two settled into a booth. Yelena reached across the table, her fingers brushing against Bob's in a moment of quiet reassurance. "You’re not alone in this, Robert. We’re all here for you."

His eyes caught hers, a flicker of gratitude shining through the shadows. "I don’t know what I’d do without you, Yelena."

She squeezed his hand gently. "You'll never have to find out."

Bob mentioned one of Dr. Riley’s latest suggestions as they both enjoyed dinner. "She thinks I should find a hobby," he said, a humorous glint sparking in his eyes as he took a bite of his cheeseburger. "Something to distract me from everything."

Yelena nodded as her fork dove into her creamy macaroni and cheese. "That’s a good idea. What are you interested in?"

Bob shrugged, a hint of frustration lining his brow. "I really don’t know. I’ve never really had a hobby."

By the time they finished their meals, Yelena was brimming with ideas. She said as they left the diner, "I’ll talk to the others. We’ll find something you’ll love."

*^~^*

The group converged on Bob's room the following day, each bursting with suggestions. Ever the soldier, John arrived wearing a paintball mask and brandishing gear. "Paintball, bud! Let’s get your adrenaline pumping and blow off some steam!"

Ava rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "John, that’s not exactly soothing. Bob, have you ever thought about photography? I’ve got a fantastic camera you can borrow."

Entering with a stack of cookbooks, Alexi's voice boomed with enthusiasm. "Cooking, comrade! It takes discipline and creativity. You will learn to make the perfect pelmeni!"

Bucky shook his head, chuckling as he disagreed. "That’s absurd. He needs something calming, not more chaos. How about fishing? I’ve got an extra rod. We’ll go together."

Watching the lively debate unfold, Yelena couldn’t help but smile. "I think I have just the thing," she announced, producing a sketchbook and a set of colored pencils from her bag. "Art therapy.”

As the clamor of ideas swirled around him, Bob sat amid this whirlwind with amusement and unease.

"Okay, okay," Bob interjected, raising his hands in mock surrender. "I’ll give it all a try... but if it turns out terrible, I’m blaming all of you.”

The days followed were filled with Bob's well-meaning attempts at each new hobby. Sadly, paintball left him covered in bruises, photography resulted in blurry photos, cooking ended in a kitchen fire, fishing bored him to tears, and art therapy...well, his stick figures still resembled kindergarten art projects.

*^~^*

The team dragged themselves back into the tower after an exhausting day of public realtions; fatigue weighed heavily on their shoulders. They shuffled into the common room, limbs encased in lead. Groans of exhaustion echoed as they sank into chairs.

The atmosphere shifted suddenly. A loud crashing and clattering erupted down the hall, startling everyone.

“What the hell is that?” Bucky shouted, eyes wide with confusion and concern.

Ava’s voice rose above the noise, “It sounds like it's coming from Bob’s room!”

Adrenaline surged through the group as they instinctively brandished their weapons, dread creeping into their minds. They feared the worst—that Sentry had somehow resurfaced and was attacking Bob again. Moving as a unit, they rushed toward his door, tension knotting in their stomachs. Without hesitation, Alexi stepped forward and delivered a swift kick, sending the door crashing inward.

John peeked inside as the door flew open, and his voice trailed off as he lowered his weapon. “Oh my God…”

Bob was inside, practically glowing with enthusiasm, his eyes sparkling as he clutched a pair of drumsticks in each hand. “Look what I got! A drum set! Isn’t it awesome?” he exclaimed.

Ava raised an eyebrow. "Bob, what happened to art therapy?"

Bob shrugged. "I was watching Whiplash last night, and I just felt inspired. I mean, Andrew Neyman's got the passion, the drive...I want to be like that."

Bucky blinked. "Whiplash? The movie about abusive drum instructors?"

Bob nodded enthusiastically. "That's the one! I mean, who wouldn't want to be a world-class drummer, right?"

Yelena set down her gear. "Bob, maybe you should start with something less intense?"

But he was undeterred, tapping out a rhythm on the snare. "No way, I've got this! I've been practicing for hours. Watch this!"

The group exchanged skeptical glances as Bob began to play. The sounds that emerged were akin to a cat in distress. Bucky winced, covering his ears. "I think you need more practice.”

Bob stopped mid-beat, looking crestfallen. But then, a determined glint sparkled in his eye. "You're right! I just need to practice more. I'll be the best drummer this side of Manhattan."

The team hesitated, unsure whether to encourage Bob's new passion or stage an intervention. As they watched him enthusiastically drum on, they realized that this was exactly what Bob needed – something that made him feel alive, even if it drove everyone else crazy.

"Well," Yelena said, smiling, "at least it's keeping you occupied."

John scoffed. "Occupied? He's occupying the entire floor with noise."

Bob, still drumming away, grinned. For the first time in a long while, he felt like himself – imperfect, passionate, and a little bit loud.

*^~^*

As the days passed, Bob's drumming became a fixture in the tower. The team would often gather outside his door, wincing as the sounds of crashing cymbals and thudding drums assaulted their ears.

But amidst the chaos, one person unexpectedly emerged as Bob's biggest fan: Alexi. The Red Guardian would sit in Bob's room, nodding in time with a slight smile.

"Robert, you have a natural talent," Alexi said, his Russian accent sharp and distinct. "The passion, the energy – it's like a symphony of industrial machinery from the Soviet era!"

Bob beamed with pride. "Really, Alexi? You think so?"

The others stared, incredulous. "Alexi, have you been hit on the head?" John asked. Bob's drumming is—”

Yelena quickly elbowed Walker in the ribs.

“Ow!”John shouted.

Alexi waved his hand dismissively. "You don't understand. Bob's drumming is a manifestation of his inner struggle. It's like a sonic representation of his soul."

Ava raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe it's just a representation of his lack of skill?"

“Hey,” Yelena muttered, smacking her arm. “We’re being supportive here.”

Alexi's face turned stern. "You're just not listening with the right ears. Bob's drumming is art."

*^~^*

As the weeks passed, Bob's drumming showed only marginal signs of improvement, but Alexi's enthusiasm never wavered. The two would spend hours in his room, drumming and discussing the finer points of Soviet-era music theory.

The others shook their heads, smiling. "I don't get it," Bucky said, "but if it makes Bob happy, that’a all that matters."

Yelena smirked. "And if it makes Alexi happy, that's a bonus."

[watarfallar]

Last desert duo incorrect quotes dump of the year! (Unless I post another later)

Grian, standing amidst the destroyed kitchen: How? How were you able to summon me?! Scar, flipping through a cookbook as fast as they can: I don’t know!! You were supposed to be chicken soup!

Grian: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!? Scar: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Grian: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi?? Scar: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

Scar: School appropriate questions. Grian: What was the lowest point in your life?

Grian: I think I need a hug… Scar: Good thing I'm hug shaped! 45 minutes later Grian: You… you can let go now. Scar: No, I absolutely cannot.

Scar, skipping rocks on a lake with Grian: It’s such a beautiful evening. Grian: Yeah, it is. Grian: whispering Take that you fucking lake.

Scar, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Grian: But how- Scar, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Grian: I've connected the two dots. Scar: You didn't connect shit. Grian: I've connected them.

Scar: Start talking! Grian: Well, I- Scar: Shut up!

Scar: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group. Grian: Well, you always have a smile on your face. Scar: Thank you. Grian: Grian: What drugs do you take?

Grian, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?! Scar: …What does that even mean?!

Grian: I’m gonna kill you. Scar: Get in line!

Grian: Are you listening to me? Scar: nods Grian: What did I just say? Scar: nods Grian: …

Scar: Grian, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight? Grian: Raise the dead. Scar: And what did you do? Grian: Raise the dead.

Scar: Oh, fiddlesticks. Grian: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Grian: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Scar: No… well, their slowness. Grian: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. Grian: Now I have a plan. Grian: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Scar: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box. Grian: That’s a trash can.

Scar: Hey, Grian! Did you know your my BFFLWYLION? Grian: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Scar: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not. Grian: Grian: That’s one way to say it, I guess…

Grian: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other? Scar: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

Scar: Guess what I'm about to get! Grian: On my nerves.

Scar: Grian! I thought you were dead! Grian: No, just in deep cover. Scar: …But it was an open casket. Grian: It was very deep.

Scar: Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! Grian: What are you then? Scar: I'm a Virgo!

Scar: I need some help with my homework, Grian. Grian: What’s the assignment? Scar: I’m supposed to write a paper that presents both sides of an issue and then defends one of the arguments. Grian: What’s your issue? Scar: That’s the problem. I can’t think of anything to argue. Grian: That’s hard to believe. Scar: I’m always right and everybody else is always wrong! What’s to argue about?!

[ineffectualdemon]

I get a newsletter from a group for people with chronic pain and other disabilities with advice and resources in it and last time they included a link to a free cookbook for people with chronic pain

The recipes are...basic and bland if you do them exactly as presented but I find them to be good starting points and I like some additions they added

They have at the top why the ingredients might help and then after the recipe they have how long it lasts and how you can store it and after that they have the cost per portion

Image description

Chickpea Salad Wraps

Benefits for people with chronic pain

Chickpeas are a plant based source of magnesium which can alleviate muscle tension. Fresh vegetables contain antioxidants and vitamins, including vitamin C, which helps reduce inflammation and oxidative stress

Ingredients

1 tortilla wrap

1 small diced tomato

1/4 cucumber, diced

1 tsp lemon juice

100g canned chickpeas drained and rinsed

Instructions

Step 1- Mix the chickpeas, cucumber, tomato and lemon juice in a bowl

Step 2- spoon it onto the wrap and fold to serve

Optional: why not add some seasoning such as Tumeric?

Storage: assemble fresh. The filling can be stored in an airtight container in the fridge. Not suitable for freezing.

Cost per serving: Approx: £0.65

Makes: 1 portion

I added a shit ton of seasoning and this turned out to be really refreshing and nice to eat though I added salad leaves as well and definitely more then one wrap was needed for the filling

A lot of the recipes are like this. Very bare bones but if you adjust and add things to your needs it's a good starting base so I wanted to share.

I think I like the sad bastards cook book better in a lot of ways which is also free here:

But this one also has some helpful ideas